What should i name album pictures of me and my friends on facebook

I feel so stupid rn but someone is trying to blackmail me with a nude video of me. What do I do?

2024.05.21 12:59 Low_Argument9299 I feel so stupid rn but someone is trying to blackmail me with a nude video of me. What do I do?

They have a video of me showing my dick. They sent me screenshots of having access to my family and friends and even screenshots of a message that's ready to send to my dad and some relatives and friends if I didn't pay. I don't know if they followed through and I blocked them everywhere and I obviously won't pay anything. What should I do here?
They also somehow can see my whole friends list on Facebook despite me having it set to only be able to view by me. How is that possible?

submitted by Low_Argument9299 to Advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:59 Equivalent-Hall7668 I'm suffering from loneliness and isolation for way too long...

The first time I made a real close friendship was in middle 7th grade they were 2 best friends we were talking all day and night even studying together but suddenly after we finished 8th grade they started ignoring me maybe because of my anger issues and rudeness when I was talking about the abuse in my house they thought I'm way too crazy so they dumped me now I'm now in first year of since 9th grade I haven't find any friends in school or online idk why but whenever I talk to someone they're really weird or narcissistic psychopaths I live in a third world corrupted country and I think it's normal for society in this type of countries to be ignorant and immoral but it's crippling I really don't know what to do I reached my peak since the last 2 months I can't get no more than 5 hours of sleep I smoke a lot of cigarettes and some days I don't even sleep at all, I tried to make my brain just forget about all the suffering and problems but YouTube and movies are always talking about brain rotting politics or violence and crime, I always seek socializing but no one likes me and it's too late already it ate up all of my brain I was a smart and fast thinker in middle school I learned English with my friends in middle school in 2 years to the point where we can listen to English songs and understand the lyrics without translation or turning the subtitles on but since they left me I can't learn anything I can't study I can't work I can't sleep it's my fault that I just tried to look for people like them I should have looked for people who are more like me but it's too late and I have just realized lately. 2 full months of insomnia and I really can't figure out who am I or what do I want or what are my interests even if right now if someone just texted me and told I'm like you or I just had a perfect friend I don't know what to say to them it's like I'm socially and mentally dead from the dry and cruel life I'm suffering from insomnia and my family doesn't care they speak loudly, shout and slam doors when I try to catch some sleep (btw I'm so sorry if I can't write correctly I can't focus at all) now the real point is that I'm asking you what is this feeling is my brain damaged or am I just dead does it have a name is it a mental disorder or is it what 5 years of no talking with people do to you when you're still growing up

submitted by Equivalent-Hall7668 to loneliness [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:56 BlacksmithPristine88 I often get problem with raid or rarer other event not spawning on Cassandra but I never get any specify error i debug log, maybe someone with better knowledge could look at my debug log and my mod list and give some clou what is causing the problem

I don't know what I can do anymore, as i get the bug whit raid not spawning really often without any error or clue, I is hard to test whit different mod list because i take a long time to tested. Maybe there are some more obvious problem on my mod list that someone better informed cloud spot? if something i deleted my user folder and content folder on steam and download everything again.
Here my log
Mono path[0] = 'D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Managed'
Mono config path = 'D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/MonoBleedingEdge/etc'
Initialize engine version: 2019.4.30f1 (e8c891080a1f)
[Subsystems] Discovering subsystems at path D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/UnitySubsystems
GfxDevice: creating device client; threaded=1
Direct3D:
Version: Direct3D 11.0 [level 11.1]
Renderer: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1070 (ID=0x1be1)
Vendor:
VRAM: 8060 MB
Driver: 31.0.15.5244
Begin MonoManager ReloadAssembly

Completed reload, in 0.174 seconds

Initializing input.
Input initialized.
Initialized touch support.
UnloadTime: 0.933400 ms
RimWorld 1.5.4085 rev545
Mod ReGrowth: Wastelands Fishing Patch dependency (regrowth.botr.wastelands) needs to have and/or specified.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Mod ReGrowth: Wastelands Fishing Patch dependency (vanillaexpanded.vcef) needs to have and/or specified.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-0000020375D78110.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-00000203779C1250.dll
[Biomes! Islands v2.2.0.0] Initialized
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037D17E940.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037CF01010.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037CB8D010.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037C946010.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037C808020.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037C85E010.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-000002037C978820.dll
Fallback handler could not load library D:/Steam/steamapps/common/RimWorld/RimWorldWin64_Data/Mono/data-0000020375C89530.dll
1.0.8864 ::
1.0.8865 ::
1.0.8864 ::
[Interaction Bubbles v3.0] Initialized
ReSplice: Charmweavers 1.1-Lurelings-rev5
ReGrowth: Core 3.6-Mundi-rev6
ReGrowth: ReTextures 1.2-Clapham-rev4
ReSplice: Core 1.0.1-Shelley-rev4
Parsed 0.125 as int.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Parsed 0.15 as int.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Parsed 2.5 as int.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Parsed 7.5 as int.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Could not resolve cross-reference: No Verse.SoundDef named Pawn_Melee_Punch_HitBuilding found to give to Verse.RaceProperties Verse.RaceProperties (using undefined sound instead)
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Could not resolve cross-reference: No Verse.SoundDef named Pawn_Melee_Punch_HitBuilding found to give to Verse.RaceProperties Verse.RaceProperties (using undefined sound instead)
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Knowledge data was missing key BMT_HungeringAnimalsConcept. Adding it...
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Knowledge data was missing key BuildersTryMine. Adding it...
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
[Pathfinding Framework v0.5.5.0] Mod initialized.
MovementDef count: 9
[Biomes! Core v2.6.2.0] Initialized
[Biomes! Caverns v1.6.3.0] Initialized
Texture LitterBox has dimensions of 256 x 256, but its mask has 64 x 64. This is not supported, texture will be excluded from atlas
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Texture LitterBox has dimensions of 256 x 256, but its mask has 64 x 64. This is not supported, texture will be excluded from atlas
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
Translation data for language English has 27 errors. Generate translation report for more info.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
[Cherry Picker] The database was processed in 00.64949 seconds and the following defs were removed:

ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Mace,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Shiv,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Gladius,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Ikwa,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Knife,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Spear,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Club,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Animalist_Axe,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Revolver,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Autopistol,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_BoltActionRifle,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_PumpShotgun,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_MachinePistol,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_SniperRifle,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_AssaultRifle,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_HeavySMG,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_LMG,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Minigun,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_ChainShotgun,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_ChargeRifle,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_ChargeLance,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Mace,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Gladius,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Knife,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Spear,
ThingStyleDef/AM_Techist_Sword

[KCSG] Vanilla Base Generation Expanded contains 8 missing symbols.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
[KCSG] Vanilla Factions Expanded - Ancients contains 4 missing symbols.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
MeditationFocusDef Void does not have a MeditationFocusExtension, which means it will not have an icon in the Psycasts UI.
Please ask Ludeon Studios to add one.
(Filename: C:\buildslave\unity\build\Runtime/Export/Debug/Debug.bindings.h Line: 39)
[TrueTerrainColors v1.12.14] Extracted true colors from 1464 terrain defs in 493.71 seconds using a RenderTexture of size 4112x4112.
[XML Extensions] Initialized 1 SettingsMenuDef(s) and found 0 unused key(s) from 0 mod(s)
[XML Extensions] 5033 total patches run in 37945ms, 0 failed
Using DDS for Animals: False
33
Using DDS for Arsenal: False
22
Using DDS for Artistic: False
55
Using DDS for Basic: False
27
Using DDS for Biotech: False
33
Using DDS for Child-Care: False
22
Using DDS for Cuisine: False
47
Using DDS for Factions: False
68
Using DDS for Misc: False
40
Using DDS for Recreation: False
18
Using DDS for Scientific: False
29
Using DDS for Styles: False
133
Using DDS for Vanilla: False
12
Using DDS for Projector-Throne: False
Using DDS for Projector-Throne_grand: False
Setting ERN_Amaro trainability to Advanced
Setting ERN_BigCarbuncle trainability to Advanced
Setting ERN_Carbuncle trainability to Advanced
Setting ERN_Chocobo trainability to Intermediate
PickUpAndHaul v1.1.2¼ welcomes you to RimWorld with pointless logspam.
[Geological Landforms v1.6.10] Found 5 biome variants in mod Biomes! Islands.
[Geological Landforms v1.6.10] Found 6 biome variants in mod Biomes! Caverns.
[Geological Landforms v1.6.10] Found landform data in the following mods: Geological Landforms, Biomes! Caverns
[Geological Landforms v1.6.10] Loaded 40 landforms of which 0 are edited and 0 are custom.
MVCF successfully applied 56 patches
[ShowMeYourHands]: Defined hand definitions of 320 weapons
adding BorealForestto primary biomes
adding Tundrato primary biomes
adding ColdBogto primary biomes
adding IceSheetto primary biomes
adding TemperateForestto primary biomes
adding TemperateSwampto primary biomes
adding TropicalRainforestto primary biomes
adding TropicalSwampto primary biomes
adding AridShrublandto primary biomes
adding Desertto primary biomes
adding ExtremeDesertto primary biomes
adding RG_TemperateGrasslandto primary biomes
adding RG_AspenForestto primary biomes
adding RG_BoilingForestto primary biomes
adding TemperateGuldenForestto primary biomes
finished biome cycle
finished biome cycle
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Unloading 5 Unused Serialized files (Serialized files now loaded: 7)
Unloading 1421 unused Assets to reduce memory usage. Loaded Objects now: 97345.
Total: 1887.802500 ms (FindLiveObjects: 13.610400 ms CreateObjectMapping: 17.643200 ms MarkObjects: 1845.528100 ms DeleteObjects: 11.020100 ms)
Unloading 3 Unused Serialized files (Serialized files now loaded: 7)
UnloadTime: 0.385100 ms
Unloading 1 unused Assets to reduce memory usage. Loaded Objects now: 97735.
Total: 1540.643400 ms (FindLiveObjects: 5.084100 ms CreateObjectMapping: 16.061600 ms MarkObjects: 1519.352600 ms DeleteObjects: 0.144800 ms)
Initializing new game with mods:

[Geological Landforms v1.6.10] Map added on tile - TileId: 27399, Landforms: , BiomeVariants: , Topology: Inland, TopologyValue: 0, TopologyDirection: South (F)
Unloading 0 Unused Serialized files (Serialized files now loaded: 7)
Unloading 1 unused Assets to reduce memory usage. Loaded Objects now: 103818.
Total: 1610.991700 ms (FindLiveObjects: 4.992200 ms CreateObjectMapping: 10.976600 ms MarkObjects: 1594.827700 ms DeleteObjects: 0.194800 ms)

submitted by BlacksmithPristine88 to Stellaris [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:45 LeLittleGirl My Best friend and her messy engagement

Today, I finally put on my altered dress for my (23f) best friend's (24f) engagement party. Although I look beautiful in it and I am feeling myself, I keep having flashbacks and flashfowards of what can go bad.
We met on facebook when we were both in high school and clicked, despite having bad opinions about each other. We had plenty of common things to talk about, and I honestly admired her for how intelligent and well spoken she is. Although, she always was the kind that had her mind set on an ideal when it came to relationships that resulted in a very toxic dynamic between her and her partner. When her partner didn't satisfy her, she would go cold and never said what was wrong. Instead, she was venting to me. That made our friendship toxic. She would constantly cheat emotionally on her partner with me. Things escalated quickly, and we actually caught feelings for each other. I started to be her actual lover, and I felt guilty about it. At some point, we were in a relationship, too. It was a short and bad one that put our friendship on a pause.
4 years later, I decided to reconnect with her because I thought that I wasn't going to waste a good friendship in a bad relationship, and it was a very good decision. We were both healthier, and now we had a better dynamic, too. I talked to her about my boyfriend ( 25m) and our love story. Long story short, he is my soulmate. I am convinced about that. No relationship compares to this one. I told her about how fast we had to move on because of our circumstances and how nice it is to live with him, and she understood. She is happy with our relationship and wishes us the best. Not so much later, she met her current fiancé (25m). He was quite intimidated by me, he told that to my face but we clicked well. That's until we found out that he is quite dodgy. He is a womanizer who decided to "settle" and fell for her quickly. He also is the kind to search for the most dodgy jobs just to make a bit more cash, that he spends quickly on god knows what. He saw everything. Drugs, prostitution, robberies, death, etc. Not only that, but he is cocky about never being caught, too. I thought they were an odd pairing since she is the independent, level-headed but introverted big sister that took no shit from anyone, but whatever. We didn't want to judge. They moved on quickly with their relationship, even quicker than me, and my boyfriend did. They got engaged in 8 months, and three months later, she is pregnant, too. Their engagement lasted only 6 months, and next month, they are getting married. Because a wedding is quite expensive for them right now, they decided to skip the church wedding and only do the official documents and do an engagement dinner party with their close family and friends. Oh boy, the organization is a mess.
First, they asked us to be their godparents but quickly changed their minds after their parents realized that me and my boyfriend are not married, which is a big problem with the church but not with the documents. I wanted to point that out to them since they are not going to be wedded in church but whatever. Ever since we were in high school, she promised me that I would be her godmother to her wedding. It was disappointing, but I knew that I needed to be flexible. Second, she wants her guests to dress more elegantly for the event. Her fiancé and my BF got a bit fussy that they couldn't wear jeans and Hawaiian shirts, but we quickly changed their minds. But this transitioned to the third problem. I had to get my dress pretty early into the engagement so we could save some money. I got a nice dress for my budget: a midi mint dress with puffy veil sleeves and crochet flowers motifs that enhanced my bosom. I checked with her if the color and the model were ok, and she said that she was happy with it... Until she got her dress. She decided to dress in a way more layed back style and get a white cotton beach dress. It's incredibly simple, and my boyfriend described it to be a sack of potatoes in comparation to what I was wearing. Not only that, but it was 5 times more expensive than mine. This was a problem. I didn't want to overdress or upstage the bride to be, so I got another dress that's more laid back, the one that I am currently wearing so my mom could alter her a bit. Fourth, they keep changing the dates, and that got everyone annoyed because it messed with the free work days. Fortunately, this was resolved, and now they have a date that's set in stone. The organization is quite messy, too. BF had the condition that he didn't want to drive in the city, so he would drink, something that can't happen because they have many guests and not enough cars. We live far away from them, in a suburban area. There is a 5 hour drive between us and besides them, we don't know anyone in their city. They offered us a free room ( baby's future room) but even that is uncertain. Fifth, they are not the most stable couple. Her fiancé gets mad and jealous quite easily. He used to fight with her when she wears more make-up than usual or she was too indiferent to his flirting. She is the kind of woman who never wears her emotions, and that drives him nuts. She did open up slowly to him, but it's too slow for his pace. Not only this, but he has a high-sexual drive while her's is low. He gets very fussy when they don't get to have regular sex. When she got pregnant, the gyno told her to stop sexual relations for a while, so the baby stays in place. He said that he can't stop having sex for his own health, and it is quite unfair. She hit him with an ultimatum that if he made her abort it, she would never have kids with him again. That made him settle, at least for a while. He is also the kind that wants a boy, so he could continue his "legacy." If that didn't make it clear for what kind of person he is, then I don't know what more can I tell you. Also, the both of them hinted that me and boyfriend should get pregnant too, so our children could be best friends just like us. We quickly shut it down with "With what money?Plus, we are not mentally prepared for it". Which brings us to the sixth problem, and I and BF are not in a stable money situation like they are. BF used to be overworked and paid badly while I couldn't work right now. He did get to change his job for a better one, which is a huge relief. I wanted to work, I wished to, but bestie and her fiancé keep wanting to have vacations with us twice a year. No workplace would be able to give me that many holidays, which I know is unfair. That's the country we live in. Because of this, for the last year, we were on a tight budget that couldn't allow any more changes.
Besides these problems, there are many more things like family drama and other money problems. Because of the constant change, me and boyfriend are stressed and this got us in an argument. First being about my dress and then about the couple that couldn't understand our money problems. Me and bf resolved it, but he has some good points. The organization is as messy as their future marriage.
I apologize if I've made grammar mistakes, english is not my first language.

submitted by LeLittleGirl to Vent [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:43 No_Pause8153 I (28M) got angry at a joke my girlfriend (29F) made last night during dinner and now things are back to being shaky between us.

Hi folks,
Longtime lurker and first-time poster here. I need a (relatively) unbiased perspective on something that happened last night with my girlfriend.
For context, things between us have been touch and go for the past two months. A combination of issues we had when we first started dating resurfacing and long-distance (she's been working out of the country since March but will be back in about ten days) has made it hard to soothe each other during such times.
Things yesterday were more than okay. Actually, they were great. The warmth that we had at the start of the year when she was still here was back. She was affectionate, loving, cracking jokes, smiling, laughing, etc. I felt great. We decided to prepare dinner together that night on FaceTime, and things were going stellar.
Until she was jokingly telling me to stop singing this one song that she hated and I told her "to relax" in a non-serious tone. I instantly went, "Oh shit haha I'm so sorry, don't take my head off," because I remembered how she hates it when someone tells her to "relax." She clapped back, saying, "Haha don't tell me to relax, I'll fucking punch you in the face." And that is when I got pissed.
I'm a sensitive guy. I always have been. It is something that has caused me a lot of anguish in my previous relationship because I can very quickly get upset about small things. For some reason, I've always had an issue with this kind of language in relationships. Violence. Do I think my girlfriend would actually punch me in the face? Of course not. But for whatever reason, I've always been hyper-sensitive to this kind of talk. I also despise it when anyone goes for my face in a joking manner, whether it's some rough housing with my dad or my friends, or my significant other jokingly giving me a couple of taps on the face.
I've never been physically abused in my life. My parents never laid a hand on me. I've never been physically bullied, either. So I really don't know where this aversion to physical or verbal jokes of this kind comes from.
I got a little pissed. I didn't shout, scream, or throw a tantrum. But I was visibly upset. She asked me why I was so pissed since she was clearly joking and said she would never actually punch me. I said I don't like that kind of language being thrown around even as a joke, to which she said, "Who hurt you?"
She went on to say that if this triggered a soft spot because of something that happened to me, I should communicate that to her. But I can't expect her to understand that if I've never told her. I said nothing happened to me. I've never been physically abused, so there's no "trauma" underlying it. It's just something I don't enjoy. No need to overanalyze it.
That sentence kicked my anger up a few notches. I guess reflecting on it, it felt invalidating. It frustrated me. I said, "Who hurt me? Do you really want to take it there? Is that how you want to handle this?"
I was pretty sure I knew why that sentence hurt me. I was in an emotionally abusive, toxic relationship for five years with a borderline narcississt. My girlfriend knows this. She knows how bad it was. And I guess the crass nature of the 'who hurt you?' comment reminded me of a time earlier in my relationship with my current girlfriend where we were having an argument and she said, "Do I have to treat you like shit to have you?" Which was a clear reference to my previous relationship. She has since apologized for that comment, after I told her how profoundly invalidating and wrong it is to say something like that.
The thing is. My girlfriend has a tendency to say things that come off as rude, hurtful, or invalidating when she's upset. And I think this whole situation triggered that fight or flight response after the 'Who hurt you?' debacle.
Back to the current issue....
I was flooded, so I told her I'd call her back after I've cooled off. I took five minutes to relax and then called her back. I apologized for my "overreaction" to her joke and explained to her that generally, I don't enjoy these kinds of jokes.
She went on to say that she finds me getting upset at something like this, to the degree that I did get upset, "kind of ridiculous."
I told her I understand. I said it was unfair to get roused up like that. I told her it's all water under the bridge now and I know she didn't mean anything she said seriously. I reiterated that I don't appreciate these kinds of jokes and that I don't think it's a big ask not to make them in our relationship. She agreed.
After we spoke about it, I couldn't shake the feeling that her telling me my reaction was "ridiculous" and me doubling down by saying it was "unfair" to her was, in reality, unfair to me, and invalidating for me.
Either way, it seemed like the damage was done, though. She was cold for the rest of the night while we watched something on Netflix. The jokey, smiling, sensual person that was there a few minutes ago was replaced by a cold, frustrated, avoidant person. Things were just lukewarm for the rest of the night. She was back to feeling super anxious about all the things we were going through and I was back to feeling like garbage. My anxiety was through the roof. My heart was beating like I was running away from a tiger. I felt sick to my stomach.
I wanted to beat myself up to a pulp. My internal monologue went straight into self-hatred mode. "Why are you like this? This is all your fault. Things were fine, but your sensitive, fragile ass just had to have a moment, right? You couldn't just enjoy the present moment. You couldn't take two seconds to calm your nervous system down before overreacting. Now she probably feels like she has to walk on eggshells around you. She probably thinks you're a baby. You're not a real man. A real man wouldn't throw a childish tantrum like this over a silly fucking joke. You just gave her the ick. You triggered her, and now she's anxious and feeling like crap, and so are you. You just can't have nice things, can you? You have to self-sabotage, don't you?"
I didn't give into the monologue. I took ten minutes to record a voice note to myself, speaking to myself as though I was a friend. I told myself that while I may have overreacted, I did the right thing by taking accountability and apologizing. I also reminded myself that what I had done was far from a "tantrum." I didn't scream, shout, break stuff, or name-call. I didn't blame her, hold it against her for the rest of the night, or stonewall.
The issue that I am dealing with and have always dealt with in these situations is the intense feelings of shame and guilt that come about after these moments. In addition, I feel like I can never truly validate my feelings. Sure, I recorded that voice note as an exercise to try to rewire that awful, abusive self-talk in my head, but I still felt like the whole situation was entirely my fault. I still sort of blame myself for how she is feeling now. I blame myself for disrupting a moment of peace and well-being in our relationship. And I also know that I am prone to self-sabotage, so that makes it even more difficult to find the middle ground between taking responsibility for my actions and validating my feelings.
Was I being extra? Was I really overreacting? Is my insecure attachment causing me to overanalyze or interpret my girlfriend's actions after the initial episode I had? Did she really invalidate how I was feeling by asking the "who hurt you?" question in a somewhat sarcastic way as well as telling me that it was ridiculous of me to get angry at such a thing? Was I really being unfair to her by reacting how I did? Is my nervous system just picking up on a pattern of invalidating behaviour and the anger after the 'who hurt you?' comment is a natural reaction to that? It is the morning after that situation, and I am feeling rather distant towards her. I feel almost sick in my stomach. As though I'm seeing a side to her that I shouldn't ignore. But again, I think as people with insecure attachments we have this tendency to either put people on an insane pedestal to which they will inevitably fall short of or label any behaviour as a 'red flag'.
I'm not looking for a pity party. I want honest opinions, please. If I was really in the wrong, I want to hear that perspective.
TL;DR:
Things have been touch and go with my girlfriend due to resurfacing issues and long-distance challenges. Last night on FaceTime, she joked about punching me in the face, which upset me as I'm sensitive to violent language. I expressed my discomfort, and she responded with a sarcastic "who hurt you?" This reminded me of a past abusive relationship. I took a break to calm down and apologized, but she called my reaction "ridiculous." She became cold afterward, making me anxious and self-critical. Now, I feel conflicted, wondering if my reaction was an overreaction or if her responses were invalidating. Am I overanalyzing due to my insecure attachment style, or is this a red flag? Seeking honest opinions.

submitted by No_Pause8153 to AnxiousAttachment [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:41 Pack-Fragrant How do I (29F) "slow things down" with my boyfriend (34M) after 2 months of honeymoon-like relationship?

First of all, sorry for my broken English. Not my native language. Please point out if something isn't clear!
TL;DR we’re rushing things and don’t know how to slow down
It's a nice story tbh. We met 10 years ago, we were in the same friend group. He had a big crush on me but I was a crazy ass 19 y.o. who didn't really care about boys, also I was planning to move to another city (500 km away) - and I did. So in the past 10 years we lost contact, albeit being friends on social media and stuff, and sometimes we would casually meet on nights out with our friends when I came home to visit.
While I was making the rounds of Southern Europe, he started a relationship that lasted approx. 7 years. They were living together and stuff. She's a nice girl, I remember meeting her a couple of times, but she's got a lot of "social" issues that made living together very hard for the both of them. She was in constant need of his presence, and for the last 1.5 year of their relationship he felt more like a father to her than a boyfriend (PLEASE NOTE I have nothing against her and I dont want to make her look bad because SHE'S NOT. If this info wasn't important for the story I wouldn't have shared that). He left her in December 2023, the main reason being that he wanted the relationship to "grow up", think of a family, a bigger house, dogs, kids... but she couldn't even keep a job so he ended things more or less in a friendly manner after trying and trying.
3 months later, in March, I liked a pic he posted on facebook, he sent me a message asking if I was back for good (I am) and basically asked me out on a date. And MAN WHAT A DATE. Everything was perfect, we laughed to the tears, you know when you feel something has clicked and now everything is in its right place? Yeah. We both felt that. So we jumped on this loveboat ride and everything has been great, but we were really rushing things, like I started staying there for the night during the week (aided by the fact that his apartment is 10 mins from my office so it was also covenient for me), he met my parents (by accident tho honestly that wasn't planned, but still) I met his mother, his coworkers, also his boss! He got drunk with my dad! (That was fun haha). I thought that we were rushing things too much but I brushed it off thinking "don't ruin it, if it feels right then let it be", but eventually it came out during a talk we had. We both acknowledged that we'd been getting ahead of ourselves and this was making him uncomfortable, because he didn't really want to end up in another relationship right after ending a 7 year long one, at the same time he thinks what we have is precious and we should cherish it. He wants to see and have a future with me but also wants to take things slow. I agreed, and being the pragmatic little demon I am I had prepared a list of things I thought we should do/stop doing, such as sleeping there on weeknights, parents involved etc, to which he agreed. Also I noticed that he was kind of... I don't really know how to explain, projecting? his ex's persona on me. I noticed that when he was on morning shift (starts at 6 a.m.) and I had spent the night at his apartment, he'd be very worried about me not getting up on time to go to work at 8 (like his ex did) and asked me to send him a message as soon as I woke up. Another thing, there has been a weekend when I was sick, it wasn't that bad, I just had a stomach ache and nausea and needed to go to the bathroom a lot. Well that day it looked like I couldn't even walk for him, he wanted me to stay at home while he was buying the groceries to cook for lunch even though I said I was fine and a trip to the supermarket wouldn't have killed me. I reckon that's because his ex was like that. But I'm not. I'm really an independent person, I've been living by myself for the past six years, I can look after myself! And even though it's lovely to have someone who cares about you, that just felt like having a nanny and not a boyfriend (we also talked about this).
Aprt from that our relationship is great, we discuss things as adults, every discussion/argument ends with a common point. I love this. Also he's the sweetest.
But after the talk we had, and the things we both agreed on, Sunday night we were watching a movie together on his sofa, the movie was over and I said "oh it's 10 pm, I gotta go" and he was like "why don't you just stay here for the night? Your office is basically across the street" I told him that that's exactly what we agreed to avoid, he insisted a bit but then I left.
Now, I don't know what else to do to slow things down apart from to ones I listed and furthermore I don't know how to help him with all of this. He's confused and I can see that, but I trust him and if he said he really cares about our relationship then so it is.
What do you think? What should I do?
Thank you for reading.

submitted by Pack-Fragrant to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:31 Weird-One8451 Did I do something wrong?

My first best friend, who I'll call Melissa, and I met in kindergarten and were both 5 at the time. We both looked and smiled at each other. That was the day we became friends and it was the most happiest day of my childhood. I sat next to her and we were hanging out with each other every day.
We would do so many things at school with each other. We would sit on the carpet to play with the items the teacher put out for the class each morning. We would always do fun activities in the gym. We would sit at lunch, laugh about funny things we told each other, and hang out at recess every day. My favorite moment was when we were on the swings to see who would go the highest and just look at each other and smile. We did go to other parts of the playground but the swings was our favorite.
When we weren't in a classroom together with our teachers due to them having a different assigned classroom, we would still hang out in lunch and in recess because they released everyone at a certain time by grade level. For example, if we were in 1st grade and students were in a different classroom, the 1st graders would all be released at the same time while the other students in different grades remained in the same classroom. So even if Melissa and I were in different classrooms, we would always meet up and have a great time.
In 3rd grade, I found this girl who I'll call Leah. Leah and I would do pretty fun things together since we were in the same classroom and were hanging out with each other, but I'd still go and hang out with Melissa sometimes. I introduced Melissa to Leah and we basically became a friend group, or at least I thought it was a friend group.
During this time I was constantly having to pick sides with some of our things we were making up as kids. First, it was who I was to sit with at lunch. (Sometimes I wasn't lucky enough to sit with either of them because of a rule where we had to sit in a boy-girl pattern to apparently make everyone quieter during lunch time.) Then it was with some group or clan we made up during recess, Melissa was in "unicorn squad" and Leah was in "girl squad" (I made up the name of girl squad.) I would try to bring them both together but Melissa's friends and Leah's friends didn't get along too well. I had no other best friends besides the both of them and it kinda broke my heart to see them not get along as well as I was with them. Then on a very traumatic day in fourth grade that I still regret for the rest of my life, Melissa and Leah both came up to me and said "You have to pick one best friend." I said I wanted them both to be my best friends but Leah kept pushing that I only pick one. Then we made up a stupid contest to see who would win (my idea) and I was a little tired of it and made Leah win. I have never seen such a sad look on Melissa's face when we were about to leave for home. I ran after her and apologized, I tried to comfort her and I think it worked since we stopped the argument.
Later on in the year of 4th grade, Melissa and Leah had some new friends they were hanging out with. I was fine with it at first, but seeing as their friends were experiencing many joyful moments with my best friends without me, I grew hatred towards their friends. I became jealous of what they were doing. I tried everything as a 9 year old girl could possibly do to keep the relationship going between me and my best friends. I still sat with both of them at lunch and joined them in recess. When they were busy hanging out with their friends, I was left alone, wandering around the playground, doing the things my best friends and I used to do but alone this time. It became depressing just thinking about memories of me and my friends playing together in the past and having fun. Now I had to have fun but alone as I watch my best friends have fun with theirs instead of me. I became even more depressed and angry seeing other random friendships because they were having fun and not me. I felt so alone, hurt, betrayed, so much emotion. This grew into more extreme hate towards the friends of my best friends.
In 5th grade, I did everything I could to have fun with them, but for some reason, something felt off. We hung out less. We didn't sit at lunch every day. Then I found out something shocking. Leah was hanging out with other girls who would give her lunch money, (I gave her lunch money for quite a long time now so we would get snacks with my money I gave her) and was making videos with these girls. I then hated the girls because apparently in my mind, they were controlling and possessing my friend. They stole her away from me. Leah and I still hung out and I considered her my friend because I didn't understand the concept of being used for money. Leah would always invite me to make videos but I wasn't comfortable. I realized how much of a fake friend she was but I still gave her a chance to change but never happened. I went to hang out with Melissa more after this but this felt a bit off too. She was hanging out with this one girl a lot. She seems pretty happy to be with her instead of me more. Melissa was into anime and I wasn't, so that drifted us apart but I didn't see it. I wasn't really into any of my best friend's interests because I was still depressed and full of rage against these girls. I grew to hate everyone and everything and I only wanted to be with Melissa.
It was near the end of the year when I went to go with Melissa in the playground where we always used to go, the swings. She constantly kept moving away, switching swings of just walking away from me. This hurt a lot coming from a close friend like her. I went to hang out with Leah because I still had no friends besides the two of them. Leah as well, left me behind and I was there alone again. All this just fueled my anger against everything. I hated other people, I hated activities, I hated everything, including myself. I thought this was weird since I didn't express my hate that badly towards these other girls, although I did want them to through horrible and horrendous things because in my mind, they were stealing my friends. They took away the people who made me happy. I was getting worse from my mental health because I wanted nothing but my happiness and my best friends back. I had a few thoughts of kidnapping my best friends so they could be with me forever. I would be happy and experience all the happy moments we would share together again. It was pointless anyway because I was just a 10 year old and couldn't do anything.
During these final months before everyone was all homeschooled for a year, I noticed whenever I tried to be with Melissa, she moved away from me again. I tried many times to catch up with her but she continued moving away. I thought absolutely nothing of it because of a funny joke by the teachers saying we hung out too much and we should be separated. I found it funny because at the time, our friendship was strong and I thought nothing would ever separate us from having fun. So I just thought about it as if she was playing around with that joke. I gave up catching up after Melissa because I was tired and I thought she was playing the joke on me. It turns out, I overheard something she said and she said I was too clingy. I didn't know what it meant and I thought she said a funny word and thought nothing of it. Later on she asked me for a break. I said that it was fine and I thought she meant a break for one day (I thought breaks were meant to be short at the time) and we left each other alone.
It came a few days later where she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore. I then went to hang out with Leah, who I didn't hang out with for a long while, said she also didn't want to be friends with me anymore. I was broken by their words but I just thought it was all a joke to me, because I thought it was dumb to unfriend someone for hanging out with them every day.
Fast forward to 6th grade where we were homeschooled for a year, I was full of hope that I was going to be friends with Melissa again after a long time. Then came 7th grade where I was 12 and I continued to sit with her at lunch again, but this time I felt nothing. There were no fun conversations like we usually had back in elementary. I just felt like I wasn't meant to be there. I still felt the same loneliness, rage, and sadness back like I was in 5th grade. That's when I finally realized I was no longer her friend, and I had so much hate in myself for taking a year to realize I had been blind to all of this. I never felt so much sadness like that in my life. The two friends I had left me, I was really depressed by this reason, and now I constantly question myself wondering what I did wrong. I still grovel over them both. It's been a few years now. Did I do something wrong?

submitted by Weird-One8451 to ExBestFriends [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:26 aine0102 my parents are controlling

19,f never went out with friends. not that im not an outspoken or friendly person, got a pretty good friend circle extremely talented supportive and hardworking people. they go out all the time and dont have to constantly update their parents on slightest minute plan changes.
first time getting along with people and them instanly making plans of going out was weird but in a jealous weird and questioning. it was later i figured their parents do not ask every detail of their day, who they met, what they had, why were they 5 min late. they dont pick and drop them everywhere they have schedules. and it was after a week or hanging out that i realised, it was me living a diffent life than everyone out there. and it broke me cus that was the point i realised that in the name of protectiveness and security and ease in commutation, they just snatched my independence from me.
they provide for me and i cannot begin to thank them enough for it, pursuing a professional study and doing good at it, always supportive. but that day i sat down and got to a conclusion that if i were to upset my parents or do not do things how they want me to do, i'd lose everything. and that has happened. asked to go out with friends, note that all of my friends come from dignified background humble and kind and educated and themselves are pursuing professional studies. never asked them before so expected there wont be a problem. was in dilemma that i dont go out cuz i dont ask to go out. often picture myself as a bird in cage unaware that shes trapped unless she tries to get out. yea so access to outside without them denied. reasoned a bit on why not. they got mad and yelled and said pretty harsh things. i was in school then and it was for the teacher's birthday. we loved her dearly and she was moving out of country. i was sure they'd let me so made plans and everything cancelled last minute cried whole evening and night. that was when it started. when the bird realised she isnt in a room but a prison.
gave a couple more tries here and there. same answers. silent treatments. refused to enroll me in the course im currently pursuing initially, calling it a financial issue. and yea there were and are financial issues but hey, grasped what was going on and did everything their way. cut ties with everyone except two friends who theyve met plenty more times than others and did as they said. regular classes, not questioning them, spending time with them. enrolled and in classes after six months.
met a guy and he was good. wanted to take me on a date. i knew they wouldnt let me go. took it slow and introduced him as my friend. asked me to cut ties with him. i kinda liked him. we had good undertanding he's help me with studies and confide about his family and life in general and i thought i can date. i wanted to date him. see where it goes like every other teenager who go out on dates after classes and study and support each other. they didnt wanted me to see him or anyother guy even as a friend. deleted every guy friend of mine's contact. we still were seeing each other until i got so burnt out of the constant watch and professional studies and competitive exams also all while managing a degree. had to break ties with him for a couple while and i admittedly couldve done with proper explanation but it was a panic attack, yeah i did starting having them right after school when everything crashed down, so panic attack with all tears and snot and heavy breathing i leave him a text that i cant do this.
fast forward today. exams done. some professional practical work everyone has to take up and my father as usual would pick me up and drop me. yesterday a friend of mine suggested we buy new books and get some food after work was done which is 1:30. i thought now that im old enough, cus the last time i tried asking was 16, maybe i can go. they said yes when asked in morning. 1:45pm text comes in. where u at. when will you be back. gave a location where he'd pick me up after we're done with books things. im at metro station, shaking, holding that ticket beacuse it was all over that again. they let me go but did they? call comes in when i dont reply in 5 minutes. he asks when will i be back upto. on saying by 4, he went why books need so much time. denied that i ever mentioned lunch too. i remember saying lunch and books. couldnt argue, not used to, dont want to upset them. two of my friends waiting for the metro so we go grab lunch and spend some time for the first time in about a year since we met, and im shaking cus its so humiliating and like. this close to crying when he hung up without saying anything further and mum texts in 2 mintes asking me to come back home rn this instant. manage to apologise and run through the station, get a cab and run home in 20 min. 2:20pm. at home. i dont if im though. in my bathroom. crying shaking of embarrassment, humiliation, guilt, frustation, anger. and hunger.
also, crossed path with the guy i was seeing. he had his guitar, he used to play for me after completing studies. killed me to pass by with just a hey and by the looks of it, he was upset about it too. everything keeps falling apart everytime i accomplish one thing.
i dont know if this is how parenting is supposed to be done because none of ppl i know have such parents and controls. so its not normal but is it abusive? i question and then go to sleep cus the obvious answer would disrupt the peace im holding on to. the good side of them keeping me sane.
if you've taken much time to read it through. thank you. i dont have anyone to share this with and im so lonely at times like this

submitted by aine0102 to Parenting [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 12:13 lorcan-mt Dustin Luca Leaving Salem News

Posted on his Facebook page that he is moving to a Communications job at SSU. Thanks for everything Dustin!
On Sept. 11, 2001, a series of terrorist attacks set me on a path to do three things: to correct misinformation as a life goal, to enter a field that in some way improves people’s understanding of their world, and to earn bipartisan respect in how I do it.
I’ve written an untold number of stories across 23 years and been taken to places new and old, familiar and fresh. I've interviewed rock legends, presidential candidates (well... one), and along the way met unforgettable sources ranging from a baby battling neuroblastoma to an elderly Lawrence woman growing a potato in her apartment and naming it like a son.
Of course, this path has had its drawbacks. I was told early on that “being a reporter doesn’t pay well,” and that I was entering a “dead industry” fresh from its collapse in 2008. But, after my first time talking to a doggie daycare that made the Today Show and becoming friends with a cat, I realized the career also paid in memories... amply... and there’s really no place I’ve worked that has created more memories for me than Salem. It’s the beat I’ve worked the longest as a reporter; the most recent Halloween marked my 10th in the city.
It also marked my last.
On Oct. 24, seven days before Halloween, I turned 40. I did so without having yet saved any money for retirement, and while working at least 70 hours per week at two to three jobs for the last several years. The combined paychecks still put me a good bit below median household income for the area — something that comes to mind every time I see a comment online that talks about how people should try living where they can afford to.
There's also a dark side to journalism that has emerged in the last half-decade, one that I’d argue doesn’t get enough attention. It’s one of the few industries that is entirely private while also being fully public-facing — journalists are effectively public officials, without the protections and benefits of being public officials. We take a lot of shots from readers, some of whom would delight in us being out of the job and financially destroyed, and we just chuckle and move on with our day.
For the dark side, there’s also the light. In some parts of the real world, journalists are thanked for their service as if we’re active military. I’ve been compared to nurses working the pandemic, held up as a leader stabilizing a maligned society, and invited to share my perspective and experiences with high school classrooms, podcasts, even Boy Scout troops.
Being a reporter pays well in the memories you collect along the way (thankfully they aren't subject to a tax). To that end, I’ve at times felt wealthy for having the privilege of covering a city like Salem — even with its dark underbelly actively arguing that I shouldn’t have a job or be allowed to exist.
With this double-edged sword equipped for so long, I knew I’d put it down at some point. When thinking about the kind of job it would take to leave the news industry, I found there was really only one that kept coming up in my mind: an opening in Communications at my Alma Mater, UNH. That would honestly be a dream... a position like that opening at a college campus I knew so well. To my fortune, that exact position opened in my backyard toward the end of 2023, on a college campus I know just as well as UNH — if not better.
In early June, I’ll be switching careers as I assume the role of Associate Director of External Communications at Salem State University.
I loved my college experience and always joked that if I won the lottery, I'd go back to school and get a degree in physics, do something nutty with string theory. But really, there’s something about the college environment where I’m most comfortable: everybody is there to learn and grow, and, from each graduate, society receives an opportunity for transformation. The feeling you get walking through a space like that can't really be replicated anywhere else... At least that's the fuzzy feeling I get when walking onto a college campus.
It’s hard to imagine leaving the only world I’ve known professionally and no longer covering the city I love, but I’m not going that far. I’m still working in the same beautiful city and would love for you to say “hey” when you see me out doing whatever. You may also see my byline from time to time, and I think I'd even like to continue doing “the spreadsheet” each night polls are open.
But, for now, this bro is going off the record to go back to school.

submitted by lorcan-mt to SalemMA [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:51 Klutzy2627 AITA FOR GETTING MY BROTHER IN LAW'S SISTER AND HER FRIEND KICKED OUT FROM THE WEDDING

It was my cousin sister's wedding and we are Indians, so if you are Indian or know Indian friends/weddings, you know the drill - the daysss long wedding events, the heavy dresses and jewelry, and also, some serious family dramas.
My cousin and I are very close even if there is a huge age gap between us. Naturally, when her wedding came around I was very excited and I helped a lot with the planning and decoration and the food - literally everything. It was exactly as we have imagined her wedding to be like. Just perfect in every way possible. But again, it's a wedding. How is a wedding ever complete with a Drama Llama? So dear potato community, here is the tea.
The man that my cousin was marrying to, my current BIL, is an amazing man who has been with my cousin since their college days. They were friends in their college days and when they started working they joined the same company so they remained close to each other. Friendship turned into love and they decided to date and eventually get married. Both the families were informed and everyone was very happy with their decisions, except just one person. BIL's sister. She didn't have any personal problems with my cousin, her only issue was that her best friend liked my BIL, let's name this friend the 'idiot' (because she truly is an idiot and this is honestly the nicest word I can use for her).
When idiot found out that BIL loved someone else and is getting married, she went ballistic. She has been trying to get his attention for so many years and he didn't even turn towards her even for one day and he was being head over heels for my cousin. I understand her being upset, I have been a girl in love and in heartbreak too, but I wouldn't try to break someone's marriage because of my heartbreak.
Yes she tried to stop their marriage via BIL's sister. The two forged all types of absurd accusations on my cousin and tried to anonymously sneak in the accusations in means of messages from unknown numbers to my cousin's then future FIL and MIL, to emails and even letters delivered to their doorstep. My cousin was really stressed because she thought the FIL and MIL would think the accusations are true and would stop the wedding. I told her, "don't worry sisso, I am here." (add dramatic music here and imagine a cape on my back).
My cousin's father (my maternal uncle), me and my brother first went to the FIL and MIL to let them know that all of this was false and that my cousin is innocent. We asked them for some time and that we will find proof of who has been sending them those false news and will let them know of everything and then they are free to judge and make decisions from their side. We got the permission from them and decided to get to work immediately.
One thing I forgot to mention was that BIL used to live in his own house in a different state from where his parents lived after he got a job. Before this, my cousin and BIL used to live in one town and went to college together. Once they got their jobs, they both came to my city, BIL got his own house and my cousin came to live with me. His family came to live with him when he told them that he wanted to marry so they came help him with the wedding arrangements. What's unfortunate is that the sister also brought her best friend, the 'idiot', who was in love with my BIL since she was 15 and BIL was 17.
I mentioned BIL having his own separate house in a new town because it was important to mention. Both his sister and the idiot didn't know he installed security cameras in his house and that the camera was pretty well hidden so they couldn't have noticed either. We asked BIL if we can see the camera's recordings and we saw someone early in the morning at 4 am dropping a letter. Guess who it was... THE IDIOT!! We showed it to my cousin's FIL and MIL and they cross questioned the idiot about it and she was in tears and admitted to everything. She and BIL's sister apologized for everything. They were forgiven and it was a happily ever after... or so you thought...
Everything after that was pretty peaceful, all the arrangements were made and we are now at the wedding day. My cousin was really jumpy and on her toes at all times, she was panicking so bad about everything. My brother and I had to sit her down and talk her out of her panic. She however mentioned that she was scared that idiot might try to pull up some sick stunt to ruin her wedding day. I however told to her calm down cause I wouldn't let my precious angel's wedding get ruined. I have seen enough Charlotte's videos to know that we must always have a backup plan prepared in advance in situations like this. And so I did. I collected a lot of information and evidences and kept them in place in case they come in handy.
I had my suspicions that they would do something to mess up the wedding way before it even became a thought in my cousin's mind, so I did a little research about the two. Since we all belong from the same hometown, I got in contact with my friends who still lived in the town that my cousin and my BIL used to live in. I asked around about these two baboons and found out that BIL's sister had a boyfriend and has even slept with him. Premarital smex is a big no no here. As for the idiot, I found out that she was slowly getting BIL's sister into illegal substances and into becoming a call girl. Again, a big no no. And I think no parent in this world would want their child to do something that would end up in trouble for them and the child as well. I knew my cousin's FIL and MIL would be worried about their daughter and take actions immediately if I let them know of this. I would have told them this after the wedding was over anyway, but that would have been in private so no one else would know, but I guess the girls wanted something else.
Once the wedding ceremony started and the guests were all there, they were enjoying, everyone was having fun and giving their blessings to the new husband and wife to be. These two pain in the asses were going around and gossiping about my cousin to everyone. We noticed that, and we came up with a quick solution. I asked two of my male friends, who is very attractive to go and talk to the girls. However I told them to switch on their recorder and be with them no matter what. God bless my two friends, they did exactly what I told them without thinking twice. They came to me after an hour or so and told me what was going on.
The two girls were planning to ruin her wedding dress. When I tell you that shit was costly, IT WAS COSTLY. It was really heavy with all the heavy stone work that was done on the cream colored lehenga and if it was stained it would be ruined. We could not afford that in any cost. She was taking a glass of juice from the juice counters and tried sitting right behind the bride but I stepped in and told her to go sit behind her brother and that I would sit behind my cousin. She was trying so hard but me and my brother kept pushing her off and away from my cousin. Eventually she did manage to throw it but it accidentally landed on someone from the groom's side and she got scolded by her. While her grumpy face was funny to see, I still had enough because if that aunty wasn't there, it would have been my cousin. After the wedding was over and people were going to start taking the photos with the couple, I announced that me and my brother had some things to say. Initially we talked about the bride and the groom but then we shifted the attention to the groom's sister and her friend. We played the audios of the calls I had with her friends in the hometown as a surprise to the groom's sister. There were a lot of angry faces, some on the sister and some on me and my brother. I tried to explain, that had she and her friend not try to ruin my cousin sister's wedding dress, this wouldn't have been broadcasted to the entire wedding venue. I then called my two male friends and both of their faces was in gasps. Both of them pulled out their phones and I played the recordings on one of the phones, which explained how they were still spreading fake news about my cousin and also them planning to ruin my cousin's dress. We also got the video recording of them actively trying to throw the red colored drink on my cousin's dress.
Both of them got kicked out from there and weren't allowed to enter until the rest of the ceremony was over. Both of them stood outside, making attempts to convince anyone who would listen to them and let them in, but no one paid heed to them. Once everyone got home they were scolded badly and my BIL's sister kept screaming at me that I was so mean and rude to have their truths exposed to not just her family, but to every relative and friends who was there to witness the show. While my cousin was glad that I had her back and my brother is standing in support of me, my parents and some of our relatives think that it should have dealt within the family and shouldn't have been exposed to anyone outside of the immediate family members. AITA?
Note: I am so sorry if the post ended up being too long but I just wanted to give all the context that would be required to judge the entire situation and my actions as well. Also if something doesn't make sense just blame it on my sleepy head cause I wrote it in half sleep mode.

submitted by Klutzy2627 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:50 vinylsandjaneausten I (20F) think that my RA (27M) is growing obsessed with me. Thoughts?

I’m a woman in college who just turned 20. I was in denial for a long time but my RA, who is a 27-year-old PhD student, may be obsessed with me.
To start off, he’s always been super kind towards everyone. When I was going through a personal crisis that caused me to faint, he ran to the local pharmacy and bought me a blood pressure monitor. He also brought me a jar of honey and lemon when I had a bad cold. He treats my other housemates with the same level of generosity. I’ve tried my best to be supportive in return by expressing curiosity and enthusiasm for his research and fun stories. I considered him a friend.
But about a month ago, he called me and asked to meet him at our house’s front porch. When I got outside, he insisted we cross the street. He carefully looked around and then asked if I would like to go out on a date with him. I was flabbergasted, especially since our age difference is so extreme. I also am not attracted to him. So I just replied that I’m flattered, but a romantic relationship wouldn’t be appropriate since we’re in completely different life stages. I thought this would be the end of him pursuing me, but I’ve been noticing odd, possibly obsessive behaviors ever since.
For context, there are two houses on our property. He lives in the front house and I live in the back house. I’ve noticed him watching me through the front house window, which would usually be followed by him entering the back house to chat. Even if I gave extremely obvious signs that I was super occupied or in a rush, he’d be eager to hear about my schedule and plans. It would always be extremely difficult to exit a conversation. He’s very overbearing.
Our house had an end-of-the-year party, so I invited a few friends. Throughout the night, he would not leave my group alone or chat with other people. An attendee I met the previous weekend was also there. We have a lot in common. We had been texting all week and showing signs of mutual romantic interest. But whenever we tried to have a moment alone together, this RA would barge in between us and kill the vibe with his own stories that weren’t relevant to our conversation.
The RA also spams me with a ton of Instagram reels that are super random. A few have some strange sexual undertones. He also regularly texts me, sometimes just apologizing for the most random things he said earlier that I didn’t even notice or remember. He also goes back to his messages he recently sent and unnecessarily edits them.
The creepiest thing he did was show me photos he took near my family’s house when he was in my home city for a conference. I never told him my street name or even what part of the city I was from. Maybe this was just a funny coincidence, but I don’t think it bodes well with my other information.
He has fortunately left for the semester. But that hasn’t stopped him from reaching out. Yesterday, he sent me 50 PHOTOS OF HIS VACATION with detailed descriptions. My phone was exploding for at least 15 minutes. Mind you, this was after I intentionally waited 4 days to open his last message and reply.
The good news is that I’m moving into another student house next year. But I feel like he’s becoming more persistent in spite of me showing super obvious signs that I’m not into him. How should I handle this? After how sweet he’s been, it feels wrong to outright say that I feel uncomfortable with him. Plus I’m worried about how he will react if I try to completely cut him out. But I really need to set boundaries to feel safe next semester. Thoughts?

submitted by vinylsandjaneausten to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:49 Count-Daring243 Best Cold Steel Smatchet

Best Cold Steel Smatchet

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In the world of blades, the Cold Steel Smatchet has made a name for itself. Known for its versatility and quality, this product has caught the attention of many. In this article, we will delve into the unique features and benefits of the Cold Steel Smatchet, showcasing why it has become a popular choice among customers. Come with us as we explore the world of blades and discover what makes the Cold Steel Smatchet stand out from the rest.

The Top 20 Best Cold Steel Smatchet

Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle: 24 oz., Tigerlily, Dishwasher Safe - The Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle offers exceptional insulation, easy cleaning, and compatibility with car holders, perfect for convenient and long-lasting hydration on-the-go.
Cold Steel Heavy Duty Nylon Cane with Rubber Ferrule - The Cold Steel 91PBX Heavy Duty Cane, boasting a 4.5-star rating and 42 reviews, is crafted with a slip-resistant rubber ferrule, nylon handle for a secure grip, and strong aluminum shaft, providing a reliable walking staff for all weather conditions.
Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel: Robust, Stainless Steel Outdoor Essential - The Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel is a sturdy, versatile tool for any gardening or outdoor cleaning task, with a robust flat part, easy-to-handle sleeves, and convenient nylon case for protection and transport.
Cold Steel Smatchet: Deluxe Edition for Playstation 5 - Unleash the thrilling comeback of war hero Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel III / IV Deluxe Edition, now exclusively on PlayStation 5, featuring exceptional RPG gameplay and stunning cosmetic DLCs for an immersive experience!
Heavy Duty Cold Grease Remover for Effortless Cleaning - Blast away stubborn grease and grime with ease, thanks to the heavy-duty and heat-free performance of SHUMANIT Cold Grease Remover!
Insulated Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle: Perfect for Outdoor Adventures - Stay hydrated on our next adventure with the versatile Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle - 2.5 Qt Black, keeping your liquids hot or cold for up to 2 days and being dishwasher safe for ultimate convenience.
Stanley Vacuum Insulated 1.5qt Bottle: Leakproof and Durable for Any Adventure - Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle: A leakproof, double-wall vacuum insulated bottle that keeps drinks hot for 40 hours, cold for 35 hours, or iced for 6 days, perfect for your hunting, fishing, or camping adventures.
Versatile Cold Welding Formula for Robust Bonds - Unleash the power of the J B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy, the versatile, water-proof, and non-toxic adhesive solution for your welding, soldering, and brazing needs.
Insulated Bottle for Long-Lasting Beverages - Experience hot coffee for up to 2 days and cold iced drinks at a tailgate or campout with the stainless steel, leakproof Stanley Classic Legendary 1.5 Qt Bottle.
Portable Insulated Water Bottle with Silicone Straw - The Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle keeps drinks cold for up to 30 hours, offers leak-proof convenience, is easy to clean, and features a soft silicone straw - making it the perfect companion for your on-the-go lifestyle.
Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen - BPA-Free Stainless Steel - Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen is a versatile and stylish stainless steel bottle with leakproof, dishwasher-safe features, perfect for urban adventures or weekend getaways, available in various iconic colors.
Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen: Triple-Insulated, Wide-Mouth Drink Container with Quick Sip Lid - Stay hydrated and perfectly temperature-controlled with the Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen, a sleek and durable option offering ultimate convenience and spill protection.
Versatile Insulated Water Bottle with Cup Lid - Sleek, sturdy, and leak-proof, the Stanley Classic Legendary 20 oz - Nightfall bottle keeps your drinks at ideal temperature for hours, while its lid doubles as a convenient cup.
Corkcicle Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen: Sleek and Stylish Insulated Travel Drink Bottle - Stay cool and stylish with the Corkcicle 25 Ounce Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen, keeping your drinks at the perfect temperature for up to 25 hours cold or 12 hours warm and offering on-the-go durability.
Premium High-Performance Goalie Blades for Enhanced Ice Skating - Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair: Experience unparalleled ice edge stability and precision with this high-performance, Canadian-made steel solution designed specifically for CCM 2-Bolt Goalie Cowlings.
Carhartt Men's Insulated Windproof Jacket - Steel Review - Experience the ultimate in outdoor protection and comfort with the Carhartt Men's Super Dux Insulated Jacket, featuring steel construction and unbeatable performance in wind, rain, and cold conditions.
Durable Vacuum Insulated Travel Bottle - Experience Stanley's classic 1.5 Qt Bottle, a vacuum-insulated, leak-proof, and durable masterpiece suitable for your outdoor adventures.
Versatile J-B Weld Epoxy for Strong, Durable Surface Repairs - J-B Weld 8265S - The versatile cold-weld epoxy that excels in a variety of repairs, boasting impressive strength of 3,960 PSI and suitable for multiple surfaces, including plumbing, automotive, and marine tasks.
Classic Vacuum-Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle - Rugged and reliable, the Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle keeps your drinks at the perfect temperature all day long with its double-wall vacuum insulation, leakproof design, packable size, insulated lid for sipping, and dishwasher-safe surface.
Stanley Classic Trigger-Action Mug: Durable Travel Companion with Leak-Proof Design and Easy Cleaning - Stay safe, stay stylish, and stay caffeinated with the Stanley Classic Trigger-Action 16 oz. Travel Mug, featuring Mossy Oak DNA, reliable double-wall vacuum insulation, and a leakproof, push-button lid - perfect for adventurers and anglers alike!

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Reviews

🔗Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle: 24 oz., Tigerlily, Dishwasher Safe

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As a product reviewer, I've had the pleasure of trying out the Stanley 24 oz. Quick Flip Go Water Bottle in the Tigerlily color. This water bottle has become a staple in my daily routine.
The first thing that caught my eye was its sleek design – perfect for carrying on the go. The double-wall vacuum insulation is a real game-changer. Whether I'm sipping on iced water in the summer or a hot cup of tea in the winter, the temperature remains consistent for hours.
One feature I particularly appreciate is the trigger-action lid. It's easy to use and helps prevent spills, making it great for when I'm on the move. Plus, the fact that it's dishwasher safe is a lifesaver. No more scrubbing by hand!
However, there are a couple of downsides. Firstly, the weight of the bottle can be a bit of a struggle for those who prefer a lighter option. Secondly, the dimensions might not fit all car cup holders, which can be a hassle during road trips.
Overall, the Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle has been a reliable companion in my everyday life. Its combination of style, functionality, and durability make it a must-have for anyone looking for a reliable water bottle.

🔗Cold Steel Heavy Duty Nylon Cane with Rubber Ferrule

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I've been using the Cold Steel Heavy Duty Cane in my daily life, and it has proven to be quite the companion. The nylon handle provides an enhanced grip that makes it convenient to hold, while the steel construction ensures structural strength for long-term use. I particularly appreciate the rubber ferrule, which is designed to be slip-resistant, making it an excellent choice for uneven terrain or icy sidewalks.
One downside is that it might be a bit heavy for some people, especially those who don't need the extra weight for support. However, the overall design and engineering of the cane are top-notch, and it gives me a sense of reassurance knowing I have a sturdy and reliable walking staff whenever I need it.

🔗Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel: Robust, Stainless Steel Outdoor Essential

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This past summer, I found myself on a weekend camping trip and realized I didn't pack a shovel. I needed to dig a small trench around my campsite to divert water. Luckily, a friend had a Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel that he let me borrow. On the first day, he taught me how to use it. The edge was sharp, and the handle felt sturdy. I was surprised by how strong it was. I struggled a bit at first, but it didn't take long before I was able to dig the trench.
After returning from the camping trip and reflecting on the weekend, I realized that the shovel had some flaws. Firstly, it was a bit heavy for a camping trip, and I felt it could cause strain on my back over time. Secondly, it didn't come with a sheath, which was inconvenient since I had to keep it in my vehicle's trunk, where it took up too much space.
Despite these issues, I still appreciated the durability of the Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel. It was clear that it was designed for heavy-duty tasks. The edge remained sharp even after I used it heavily. The wooden handle felt comfortable to hold, even though it was a bit on the thick side.
Overall, the Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel was a functional tool, but it could be improved for camping trips or situations where portability is a priority.

🔗Cold Steel Smatchet: Deluxe Edition for Playstation 5

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As someone who thoroughly enjoyed diving into the Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III and IV, let me share my experience with this dynamic duo. The deluxe edition for Playstation 5 was a refreshing return to the rich world of Erebonia, where war hero Rean Schwarzer began his new life as an instructor at Thors Military Academy's branch campus.
What stood out to me was how the game expertly handled the aftermath of the Erebonian Civil War and introduced new threats to keep the story alive. Delving into it with the improved RPG gameplay on PlayStation 5 made my journey even more immersive. Plus, the cosmetic DLC available with these iterations ensured that every member of my party was looking their best, adding a unique touch to the experience.
However, like any other game, it wasn't all smooth sailing. There were moments that were a bit challenging, but overall, the Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III and IV truly delivered an engaging experience that I thoroughly enjoyed as a fan of the genre.

🔗Heavy Duty Cold Grease Remover for Effortless Cleaning

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As a home cook who's always experimenting with new recipes and kitchen tools, I've found myself in a bit of a pickle when it comes to removing stubborn grease from my appliances. That's why I was thrilled to try the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover.
Right off the bat, I found it remarkable how quickly this cold grease remover works. No need for a heat source or any harsh chemicals. In fact, it's effective on all sorts of surfaces - my oven, pots, frying pans, baking trays, stainless steel dishes, cooking surfaces, steam extractors, and even hard-to-clean vents.
I've had my fair share of leaky packages in the past, but the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover was surprisingly well-packed. It comes in a sturdy plastic bottle with a trigger spray that's easy to use.
The product has a delightful citrus smell that lifts the spirits while I'm getting my hands dirty in the kitchen. Plus, the grease and grime just seem to vanish as if by magic.
However, there's one small downside to my Shumanit experience. On one occasion, the package was partially leaking, which made me worry about the condition of the other products in the batch. I just hope it was a one-time issue and not a trend.
To sum up, the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover is a truly versatile and effective grease and grime remover. It's a lifesaver for anyone who values a sparkling clean kitchen. Let's just hope the packaging improves in the future.

🔗Insulated Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle: Perfect for Outdoor Adventures

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The Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle is a versatile and durable companion for any outdoor excursion. It's been a part of my camping adventures for years, ensuring that my beverages stay the perfect temperature no matter the weather.
The thick stainless steel walls not only keep my iced drinks cold for two days but also keep my hot beverages warm for up to two weeks. Plus, the leak-proof lid doubles as a cup, providing a convenient and easy-to-use option for sipping on the go.
The 2.5-quart capacity is ideal for sharing drinks with friends or keeping a large quantity of your favorite beverage at the ready. I've washed my Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle in the dishwasher without any concerns about rust or BPA exposure, and it continues to perform as well as it did on day one.
Overall, the Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle has become an essential part of my outdoor gear, and I can't imagine spending time in nature without it.

🔗Stanley Vacuum Insulated 1.5qt Bottle: Leakproof and Durable for Any Adventure

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For my outdoor adventures, the Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle 1.5qt Habitat has truly been a game-changer. This insulated beverage container ensures my drinks remain at the perfect temperature for hours on end, whether I'm savoring a hot cup of coffee on a chilly morning or enjoying an icy beverage on a sweltering day.
One of my favorite features is the stainless steel construction, which not only makes the bottle sturdy and durable but also ensures it's free of BPA, a nice touch for any health-conscious individual. The double-wall vacuum insulation, another key highlight, works wonders in keeping my beverages at their desired temperatures, even in extreme conditions.
However, I found that the bottle can be quite difficult to clean, especially along the insulated areas. Additionally, the screw cap lid, while functional, can be a bit tricky to twist off after a while, depending on the grip strength. These minor inconveniences aside, the Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle has proven to be an indispensable companion on all my outdoor excursions.

🔗Versatile Cold Welding Formula for Robust Bonds

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Recently, I got my hands on the J-B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy. I was intrigued by the fact that it could serve as an inexpensive alternative to welding, soldering, and brazing. To my surprise, this versatile epoxy proved to be a game-changer in my daily life.
One of the most impressive features of the J-B Weld epoxy is its water-resistant nature. I used it to seal a leak in my water pipe, and it worked like a charm. The epoxy's petroleum and chemical resistance made it perfect for my project, as it withstood various tests without any damage.
Another standout feature of this product is its non-toxic and safe-to-use nature. I used it to fix my child's broken toy, and its safety made me feel more comfortable.
However, I did notice that the mixing ratio of the epoxy is quite sensitive. One must be cautious not to deviate too far from the 1-1 ratio of liquid steel/epoxy resin and the hardener. A slight miscalculation could result in a weaker bond or the need for reapplication.
In conclusion, the J-B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy is a must-have for DIY enthusiasts and professionals alike. Its ease of use, remarkable strength, and versatility make it a standout product in its category. Despite the minor drawback of the mixing ratio, the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience.

🔗Insulated Bottle for Long-Lasting Beverages

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I recently put the Stanley Classic to the test on an outing to the mountains. This bottle is a true companion for outdoor enthusiasts, with its impressive 18/8 stainless steel construction and BPA-free design. The 1.5 quart capacity means it can handle all types of drinks, from hot coffee to icy coolers, and keep them at the optimal temperature for up to two days. The folding handle is a clever added feature that allows for easy carrying without the risk of it rolling away.
One of the standout features of this bottle is its leakproof design, making it a reliable option for packing in a backpack or storing in a truck bed. The wide mouth also makes it easy to fill and clean, which is especially helpful for those who enjoy making their own homemade brews. However, I did notice that the bottle is quite heavy, weighing in at 2 pounds, making it more challenging to carry for longer periods of time.
Overall, the Stanley Classic is an excellent investment for those who love spending time outdoors and need a reliable companion to keep their drinks at the perfect temperature.

🔗Portable Insulated Water Bottle with Silicone Straw

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I recently had the chance to put the Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle to the test, and I have to say, it impressed me with its performance. The most standout feature of this water bottle is its ability to keep drinks cold for an impressive amount of time. I often struggle to find a water bottle that can truly keep my beverage chilled all day long, but this one did just that. The double-walled and vacuum insulated design does an excellent job of maintaining the temperature of the liquid inside.
Another feature I appreciated is the leak-proof lid. No matter how rough I was with it, it never leaked once. The one-touch silicone push button locking mechanism helped keep my bag and clothes dry, while the straw was a fun and convenient addition. Cleaning it was also a breeze, thanks to the top rack dishwasher safe lids and BPA-free materials.
However, I did experience a downside with the product - it isn't suitable for hot beverages. If you're someone who prefers drinking tea or coffee, this may not be the best option for you. Additionally, I found it slightly difficult to fit the bottle in my usual cup holders, which can be inconvenient during travel or at the gym.
Overall, the Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle did an incredible job of keeping my drinks cold and providing a leak-proof, easy-to-clean design. Although there were minor drawbacks, I still enjoyed its benefits and would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a reliable and stylish water bottle.

🔗Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen - BPA-Free Stainless Steel

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I recently had the chance to try out the Stanley 1.1 Qt. Classic Canteen, a 18/8 stainless steel bottle that promises to be leakproof, packable, and perfect for outdoor use. At first glance, the canteen looks sleek and sturdy, with a classic design that makes it easy to hold and carry around. It comes equipped with a removeable carrying strap that keeps your hands free and adds a touch of style to the canteen.
One of the standout features of this canteen is its non-insulated stainless steel material, which allows for easy packing while still offering a decent capacity for your favorite beverage. However, I found that the lack of insulation means that the canteen doesn't retain temperature as well as I would have liked. While it's fine for day-to-day use, it's not ideal for taking on long hikes or camping trips where maintaining the temperature of your drink is important.
Another downside to the canteen is the attached cap, which can be a bit tricky to open and close, especially with one hand. Though I appreciate the convenience of having it attached, it would be nice if the cap were more user-friendly and easy to access. Additionally, the metal clips on the carrying strap can be quite loud when walking or hiking, which can be a bit distracting and might not be the most discreet choice for stealthily navigating through the wilderness.
Despite these minor drawbacks, overall I found the Stanley 1.1 Qt. Classic Canteen to be a functional and stylish option for everyday use. It's a good choice if you're looking for a versatile water bottle that won't break the bank, but just remember to manage your expectations when it comes to insulation and noise.

🔗Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen: Triple-Insulated, Wide-Mouth Drink Container with Quick Sip Lid

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The Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen boasts a spacious 950mL capacity, perfect for hydration while on the go. Its quick sip lid adds convenience to everyday use, and the signature flat sides and Duraprene finish ensure a secure grip.
Triple-insulation maintains drinks at their desired temperature for extended periods, making it an ideal choice for both hot and chilled beverages alike. A wide mouth allows for ice cube insertion, while the lid's easy-to-use one-hand opening adds practicality.
Regrettably, some users have experienced issues with the lid's functionality and structure, which may prove a disadvantage for those seeking a seamless drinking experience. Nonetheless, for those seeking a durable, stylish, and functional water bottle, the Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen offers an impressive range of features.

🔗Versatile Insulated Water Bottle with Cup Lid

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This Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle, aptly named "Nightfall, " has become an essential companion in my daily life. The bottle's robustness and dependability have captivated me, as my newfound favorite keeps the brew piping hot during those frigid mornings or even chills your favorite beverage during scorching summer days.
One of the key features that have blown my mind is its innovative, leak-proof design. By using the twist-and-pour stopper, it ensures that my adventures are safe from any accidental mishaps involving the bottle. Moreover, the slim design makes it the perfect single-handed companion, ensuring a comfortable grip.
However, there are a couple of minor nits. The lid being insulated and doubling as a cup is a fantastic idea, but I found it a tad more tedious than convenient during my first few times. Additionally, while the bottle's sturdiness won my heart, it unfortunately lacks a wider mouth, which might make it a bit more practical for my soup-loving, chunky ingredients cravings.
The Stanley's performance has made me believe it's not just about the product but also about the spirit of adventure it represents - one sip at a time. Despite a few minor quirks, it's a reliable bottle worth every penny spent.

🔗Corkcicle Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen: Sleek and Stylish Insulated Travel Drink Bottle

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Crafted in the image of the infamous Darth Vader, this Corkcicle Star Wars canteen is not just a stylish way to keep your drinks cool. The 16-ounce canteen promises to keep beverages cold for up to 25 hours or warm for 12, all thanks to its triple-insulated lining. Its stainless steel construction ensures it's not just durable but also perfect to use in any setting, be it by the pool or at the office. The canteen is equipped with a screw-on cap that prevents any liquid from escaping and keeps the temperature consistent inside. The ergonomic design and flat sides make it easy to grip, and its stay-put silicone base ensures it stays securely in your hand, avoiding any spills.
My experience with this canteen has been nothing but stellar. The Star Wars design is not just aesthetically pleasing but also adds a fun touch to my everyday life. The triple-insulation keeps my beverages at their desired temperature for longer, especially during our hot summers. The cap is a great feature that prevents leaks and spills, and the ergonomic design makes it comfortable to hold. However, I wish the product was dishwasher safe as the paint tends to peel off after a few uses, which can be a bit disappointing.

🔗Premium High-Performance Goalie Blades for Enhanced Ice Skating

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I recently tried the Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair, and I was blown away by its performance. The superior edge quality is evident as it slices through the ice with minimal resistance, providing sharp, fluid movements that make it a game-changer for any goalie.
Designed specifically for CCM 2-Bolt Goalie Cowlings, this complete set comes with both left and right runners, ensuring perfect fit and seamless functionality. Made in Canada, the high-quality craftsmanship is evident in every aspect of the blade, from its sleek design to its exceptional edge durability.
While the hardest possible edge offered by Step Steel Black is undoubtedly impressive, I also appreciate the added Diamond-like carbon (DLC) coating on the mirror side finish, which significantly boosts blade performance by generating a winning combination of low friction and high surface hardness.
What sets Step Steel apart from other blade manufacturers is their innovative aspect ratio, which accelerates pushes across the crease for modern butterfly and hybrid goaltenders. The taller blades and truer profile offer added stability, precision, and width, ensuring less bending or improper sizing upon receiving the product.
Overall, the Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair is a game-changing product that combines superior edge quality, innovative design, and unrivaled performance. If you're looking to enhance your goaltending experience, look no further than Step Steel.

Buyer's Guide

Welcome to our comprehensive guide on the Cold Steel Smatchet. This guide will help you understand the essential features of this product, the considerations you should make when purchasing, and general advice for using and maintaining it. Remember that specific product picks and external resource links are not included in this guide.

What is a Cold Steel Smatchet?

A Cold Steel Smatchet is a versatile, lightweight, and handy tool often used for various purposes like camping, hunting, or even self-defense. This unique name comes from the swordsmithing tradition of the same name, originating in Japan, which focuses on crafting blades using hammer forging.

Features to Consider

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Blade Type

The Cold Steel Smatchet usually features a semi-rigid, slightly flexible blade. This design provides a balance between strength and versatility. Flexibility allows the blade to bend without breaking when applied with force, while the semi-rigidity maintains its structural integrity.

Construction Material

The Cold Steel Smatchet is typically made from high-quality, durable materials such as stainless steel or carbon steel. Both materials are rust-resistant, which is crucial for longevity and safety. Stainless steel offers better corrosion resistance, while carbon steel is known for its hardness and edge retention.

Handle Construction

The handle of a Cold Steel Smatchet should be ergonomic and comfortable to grip. Most models feature a handle made from a combination of natural materials like wood or bone and synthetic materials for a secure and comfortable grip. The handle should provide a good balance of weight distribution and ease of handling.

Purchasing Considerations

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Durability and Longevity

Invest in a Cold Steel Smatchet that is built with high-quality materials and construction techniques. This will ensure that your tool will last for years and perform reliably, even under demanding conditions.

Maintenance

Proper maintenance is essential to keep your Cold Steel Smatchet in top condition. Regularly clean and sharpen the blade, check for rust, and ensure the handle remains secure and comfortable to grip.

General Advice

Safety

Always handle the Cold Steel Smatchet with utmost care and respect. Mishandling can result in accidents or injuries. Practice proper techniques when using the tool, and keep it away from children and non-experienced users.

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Usage

The Cold Steel Smatchet can be used for various purposes such as cutting, chopping, or even self-defense. Familiarize yourself with the tool's capabilities and limitations before attempting any tasks.

Storage

Store your Cold Steel Smatchet in a safe, dry, and cool place when not in use. This will help prevent rust and maintain the tool's overall condition.
A Cold Steel Smatchet can be a valuable addition to your camping, hunting, or self-defense toolkit. By understanding its essential features, purchasing considerations, and general advice, you can ensure you make the right decision when selecting your Smatchet.

FAQ

What is a Cold Steel Smatchet?

A Cold Steel Smatchet is a type of weapons that originated in medieval Europe. It is characterized by a short blade and a stout shaft, making it highly effective in close combat situations. Cold Steel offers a modern take on these traditional weapons, with high-quality craftsmanship and materials.

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What materials are used to make Cold Steel Smatchets?

Cold Steel Smatchets are made from high-carbon steel, ensuring durability and sharpness. The handle can be made of several materials like wood, bone, or synthetic materials for better grip and comfort.

What are the different types of Cold Steel Smatchets?

Training Smatchet: Designed for practice and not meant for actual combat
Combat Smatchet: Designed for actual combat and self-defense purposes
Collector's Edition Smatchet: Decorative and made with high-quality materials for collectors

What are the dimensions of a typical Cold Steel Smatchet?

The dimensions of a Cold Steel Smatchet may vary depending on the specific model. However, most models come with a blade length of around 15 inches and an overall length of around 25 inches. It is recommended to check the product listing for the exact dimensions of the model you are interested in.

How much does a Cold Steel Smatchet cost?

The price of a Cold Steel Smatchet can vary depending on the type, material, and design. Training Smatchets usually start at around $40, while Combat Smatchets and Collector's Edition Smatchets can range from $100 to $200 or more.

What is the difference between a Cold Steel Smatchet and a Katana?

A Cold Steel Smatchet and a Katana are both types of swords, but they differ in terms of design and structure. A Smatchet is a short, stout blade with a long handle, making it well-suited for close combat. A Katana, on the other hand, is a longer, thinner blade with a more slender handle, designed for slashing rather than thrusting.

How do I maintain my Cold Steel Smatchet?

To maintain your Cold Steel Smatchet, make sure to clean it after use and store it in a dry, cool place. Regularly oil the blade and handle to prevent rust and keep the components in good condition. It is also recommended to sharpen the blade periodically using a sharpening stone.

Do Cold Steel Smatchets come with a warranty?

Yes, Cold Steel offers a limited lifetime warranty on the materials and craftsmanship of their Smatchets. However, this warranty does not cover accidental damage or normal wear and tear.

What is the return policy for Cold Steel Smatchets?

Cold Steel has a 30-day return policy for their Smatchets. The product must be in its original, unopened packaging, and the customer is responsible for return shipping costs.
As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.

submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:29 catespice Memoirs of a Long Pig

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.

submitted by catespice to ByfelsDisciple [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:29 throwRA_Rainbow7 Does he like me or am I tripping?

Ok for starters this is a throw away account since I know they have reddit and I DO NOT want them to see this. Also we are friends online! Don't judge I have a ton of friends in LDR 😭 Anyways. I have no idea what to think and I feel like I can't ask my friends since we are all in a big friend group and I'm afraid they will tell him. Recently, I will call him G, and I have been getting close. I will also start by saying we have been friends since December. There was some drama that happened and he blocked the whole friend group. He ended up only messaging me about coming back and everything and now we are all friends again. Since then we have been getting closer. We were still some what distant but since my boyfriend and I started having issues he's become less distant (I should also note that my boyfriend and I have basically separated after an argument). We started talking a lot more and he even opened up to me about some personal stuff. A few weeks ago I showed him a friend of mine and he decided he liked her. I tried to set them up, but it sort of fell through. I hate to admit it but I'm happy it fell through. This led to us talking even more. We are very similar in music taste, thoughts, and movies. This is where I am now wondering if he likes me or if I'm tripping. He sends me music and songs he likes all the time. He also talks about movies and we even have a list we should watch (admittedly a lot with our friends but there are a few he thinks would be better suited for just us). We also just bought concert tickets together and plan to meet up after I said I wanted to go but had no one to go with. Anytime I talk about how I want to do things he always says how he would do them with me. How he would love to go do this or that with me. But when others mention it, he sort of shys away from the idea. We also stay up late, even after our whole friend group is gone. We play games together even though I'm bad. He sends me funny messages all the time now too. To the point where if he's laughing I know I'll receive the video. He also has apologized to me before about how he wants to not be as rude to me (we make jokes for sure towards each other) and how he feels it isn't right of him to do so. He also likes my Instagram notes and comments a lot on them. I know those reasons may not make it seem likely that he likes me but there are 3 specific instances that I think of. The first is when I was complaining about how I would be bored by myself at this thing I was doing. He said he wouldn't be busy at that time and I joked we would probably just talk in our group chat. He sort of laughed then started to stutter saying, "Well you know...You know...haha" And then said, "Well if you wanted..." and stopped himself. I don't know what he was going to ask. But we spent 2 hours during said boring event talking and he showed me his guitar and how to restring it. The second is the other day we were talking about movies. There is this movie he LOVES so much. We have regular movie nights with the gang and the other day it fell through. I said I was sad and wanted to watch the movie. He started to say "well you know...if you wanted" again. After some time of talking he nervous laughed and asked if I wanted to watch another movie with him just him and I. I agreed. We got off track as we usually do and ended up on the conversation of his favorite movie again. He then asked "We could watch [name of favorite movie] instead...together if you wanted to..". That brings me to my third scenario of the fact we watched the movie together by ourselves. I should also say he almost never stutters over anything and has no issues asking me to do xyz in games we play or to watch this video ect. Those 2 stuttering moments have thrown me off completely.

ON TOP OF ALL OF THAT, we had movie night today and he turned his camera on and my god He has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. His laugh is contagious as well. I almost want to be around him The most of all of our friends because he is so kind and has the best laugh. But his smile oh my god and his eyes. That's the first thing I noticed about him. I think I may have developed a crush on him. But do you all think he may have as well?

submitted by throwRA_Rainbow7 to Crushes [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:27 omegaMKXIII 31 [M4F] Austria/Europe - Looking for my forever lady

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

submitted by omegaMKXIII to cf4cf [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:25 omegaMKXIII 31 [M4F] Austria/Europe - Looking for my forever lady

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
I don't want children and had a vasectomy
I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

submitted by omegaMKXIII to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:24 FOUT03 I 21M had a crush with my batch mate 23, She giving me mix signal

I 21M had a crush with my batch mates 23F, we been in the same batch for 2year plus already, since this is the final year that we can still be together I gather my courage to make a move on her. On our faculty event I ask for a picture together and I've never ask this before I clearly stated "just us two", we did took pic together and it turn out great but we don't have chance to talk to much on that day. A week after that I thought we getting closer but she talk to me more than before. But this past 2 days she getting closer to my friend 22M and even have friendly/flirty banter together infront of me and our other friends. Even me and her never had that close of interaction. It ruined my mood and don't know how to react infront of them. What should I do? Is she rejecting me or should I confront her?
TL;DR : The girl that I like suddenly acting friendly/flirty with my friend even though She know I like her.

submitted by FOUT03 to relationships [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:21 Loose-Tea-7478 When is letting go of friendships a good idea and how can it be done in non-traumatic ways?

I (F30) became friends with a group of girls at school at age 12. We were all very different and never had the feeling of actually being seen, heard or understood. I was into books and sports, they were into make up and boys. I do not remember having an interesting conversation, and if we had, it was the exception not the rule.
I should start by saying that there is a clear difference between an acquaintance and a friend, but what I am referring to is something in between: more than an acquaintance yet not a friend. For friend is a very profound and meaningful word that does not apply to the relationships I am referring to yet we've known each other for over 20 years.
As we aged, we followed our own paths in life. They stayed in the city where we met and were not particularly intellectually curious, while I moved to another country and consciously focused on my intellectual and emotional development.
Now that I am back in our country, I find these relationships uninteresting and rather toxic. They are still the type that sees someone wearing unusual clothes and will instinctively laugh at this person or make a comment and even take a picture, which I find rather disrespectful.
As arrogant as it sounds, I'm well above all this and can only feel but love and admiration for those who dare to be different. I also don't assign them a value or identity based on behaviour. These people are just not there.
While we live in the same country, we've been living in different cities. This made it quite easy. In the move, they never reached out to see if I was okay and I think that it was because in our last meet up, I was quite off and when asked, I mentioned that I just couldn't help but feel that the conversations were not interesting and found that laughing and taking a picture of a person and their looks is disrespectful. They said it is common to have meaningless conversations when in group, but the truth is that some of the best conversations I've had were in group. We are simply in very different platforms in life.
Perhaps as a result, they didn't reach out to me to see how the move went and have pulled away. I am very happy about this, in the sense that I feel freed from social conventions and obligations that are no longer healthy for me. In fact, looking back, these relationships never were, but still they were meaningful and I care about them, I don't want to hurt them.
I will be back in their city and feel obliged to inform them and join their outings. When the truth is that I don't want to. Partly because I don't want to feel the discomfort of seeing them but also because my time would be better employed elsewhere.
I love them the same and I am here to help them but I have very little time since I work long hours and the little I have I just don't want to share it with them.
How would you go about this so that they do not feel traumatised about the let go?
I would love to learn from your experiences and perspectives.
Thanks very much.

submitted by Loose-Tea-7478 to Advice [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:10 Stylish_aesthetic My love letter to younger me / breakup letter to the Bahais :)

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, slapping each other on the back and saying , "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a local school, not speaking Hebrew, being lumped together with Russian kids who also didn't speak Hebrew, and getting beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

submitted by Stylish_aesthetic to exbahai [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:10 Hugesmellysocks How can I help my mam better handle meltdowns?

It's the last term of school and I get extremely burnt out this time of year, which means frequent meltdowns. My mam doesn't really understand autism so her only response is yelling, hitting, name calling ect. On top of being burnt out school is even more difficult because I'm struggling in so many classes, I'm being picked on and I've no friends in my year group (I can't tell her I'm being picked on because it'll make the situation a lot worse). It's like my body doesn't work with my brain and going into school feels impossible and being rushed and yelled at sends me into meltdowns. Has anybody else felt the same way and how do you explain it? I need to tell her how I feel but it's impossible to explain your feelings when you can't even identify them. Whenever I try it makes her more mad and she called me lazy, ungrateful ect. but in reality I'm just struggling. She doesn't take ''I'm struggling'' as an answer so I don't know what else to tell her. And on a similar note, how can I regulate myself during meltdowns? I get zero comfort to help me calm down so usually they last for way longer than they should.

submitted by Hugesmellysocks to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:08 eveofthefruit My parked car was hit

I was working on one of my cars in a parking lot at a shop store. I had my other parked car with in lines and that's the one that was hit. I did get hysterical because who wouldn't? It's a 88 classic mint condition low milage car. I have owned it for two months. Some guy came around the corner not caring to check and backed right into my car with no one in it. His friend threatened to hit me a multitude of times. I have on recording him threatening to send his sister over and beat me up on top of footage of him laying his hands on his gf. His gfs mom lied and said that's her son. Looked then up on Facebook so I can know names and figure out who this kid is and that's how I found out he's just the boyfriend. I attempted to ask for the money with the mom saying the judge will decide. He has no insurance no plates and also was cited for hitting a parked car. Thankfully I have someone who has footage over everything. As I will not say who or where I got it from in case those people see this post. It's 500 for my deductible and probably a good two grand to fix. Was going to get it ready for a car show this summer but that's out of the equation now. What is your opinion? What should I do?

submitted by eveofthefruit to Insurance [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:07 CringeyVal0451 Maple Walnut Pie

Kadillac Kirk had been a good friend of mine for several years. I had met him through friends from The Spring Stage; and he never had anything to do with The Imp, which is why he didn’t appear in the Married Mary saga. Mary would have totally thrown herself at him, and Kirk would have definitely “thrown it in her.” He loved the ladies and often remarked that there was no such thing as an unappealing woman, nor was there anything sweeter than finding the pearl of passion in an outwardly plain dame. Fortunately for Kirk, he never met Mary. This was probably fortunate for Mary as well, seeing as Kirk was a confirmed bachelor and his rakish nature might have broken her fat heart.
Kirk was an older guy. Not MOE old, though. He was in his early forties, but he easily passed for a carefree dude in his 30s... not that he lied about his age. I only mention this trait to juxtapose Kirk’s genuine youthful air with Moe’s unconvincing youthful farce. Kirk dressed normally, avoided stupid jargon, and never busted out gimmicks like tarot cards or spells. He just existed, behaved affably, and people liked him for it.
He drove a classic 1962 Cadillac El Dorado convertible with red leather interior, and he lived in a charmingly quaint (and ridiculously expensive) neighborhood. How he made his fortune remained a mystery, but he never bloviated about his wealth. He just threw spectacular parties and people showed up. And, to my knowledge, he never tried to lure women into bed with his money (although I’m sure he got his fair share of boom-boom thanks to his digs and his wheels, even if the gold-diggers denied their monetary agendas).
Kirk was legitimately handsome. He was a drummer, he had a full head of black hair, he was clean-shaven, he worked out, and he knew all the hidden gems in Wellsprings. So why hadn’t I tried... or even desired to date him? I don’t know. I just didn’t feel drawn to him like that. He felt like a cool uncle and he had, thus far, never done anything to change my perception. Plus, the age difference weirded me out a little. Kirk didn’t look forty; but knowing that he had so much more life experience than I did created a power imbalance that would have creeped me out if we’d been dating. As buddies, I just felt supremely cool riding in his Cadillac, smoking Fantasia cigarettes, and hitting the speakeasies and jazz clubs I would have never known about if it weren’t for Kirk’s connections.
And he had been a good person to talk to about my romantic woes. He never lecherously suggested that I should date him, and he gave the type of tempered advice that only comes with lived experience. But he often lightly mocked me for my crush on Dennis and he did a hilarious impression of Smegal popping too soon over his “precious.” So when Mary “got me back” by doing whatever she did ~~with~~ to Dennis, I called Kadillac Kirk and told him the drinks were on me if he’d be my designated driver for the night.
Why hadn’t I called Whisky??? Well, A) Kirk was way more fun to hang out with, at least from my past experiences up to that point. And B) I needed to bitch about a boy, something I couldn’t do in good conscience in front of a guy I was dating. So I put on the sexiest plunging halter dress I owned, applied heavy eye makeup and spikey accessories, braved a pair of stilettos, and sashayed out to Kirk’s convertible. I felt like a badass rock star. I probably looked like a try-hard hooker.
Kirk: Daaaaay-um! Somebody really did do a number on you, huh? I know you said you were upset, but the gents are gonna be writing thank you notes to that fat girl and that butt-fucking hobbit.
Me: I just need to feel pretty and numb. And I trust you to keep me from making a fool of myself.
Kirk squeezed my shoulder. “I’ve got you. You do whatever you need to do to get rid of these demons.”
He sparked up a J and offered me the first puff. I gladly accepted. He took one puff of his own, but said that the rest was mine since he didn’t want to drive stoned. See? He was responsible! Weed wasn’t legal in California yet, so I got a little bit baked before I stashed the sativa in the glove box and wrapped a scarf around my hair like a starlet from the Golden Age of Hollywood. Kirk sped out of the parking lot and said he was taking me to a downtown hotel that was hosting a party that night in their lush lobby.
Kadillac Kirk pulled up to the main entrance, paid the valet, and then opened my door. I was wobbly from the weed. And I had stupidly decided to wear heels. You can get high or you can wear high (heels). You can’t have both. Not if you’ve repeatedly injured both ankles (as I have). I had to take Kirk’s arm to keep from keeling over. “Can people tell I’m stoned?” I whispered. Kirk replied, “Nobody’s paying any attention to anyone else’s intoxication. I promise you that much.” I nodded, steadied myself, and strutted alongside my very cool friend, feeling a little more confident.
A live jazz orchestra was playing Cole Porter as we entered the lobby. Everything sparkled. The music was even more intoxicating than the spliff had been. “Just One of Those Things” brought tears to my eyes since the lyrics hit every raw nerve regarding the Dennis debacle. But I smiled. It might sound mental, but being distraught over a trash fire of a one-sided romance was exhilarating. Immature, for sure. But also exhilarating. You see, that kind of sadness doesn’t hurt. Not really. It stings. It leaves little bruises, but it’s very safe to wallow in because you haven’t actually lost anything. Melancholia over that which you never had is as sweet as it is bitter; and that type of twisted splendor is rivaled only by Stendhal.
“Here's hoping we meet now and then. It was great fun, but it was just one of those things.” I sang along with the band, and a fat tear rolled down past my melancholic smile and onto my chin. Kirk brushed it aside. “Too close to home?” I wiped away the remnants of the tear’s journey from eye to chin and smiled a more genuine smile. “The perfect distance from home. Shall we get drinks? Remember, I’m buying.”
Kirk: No, no. This is your time to heal. And I’m here as your pal, not your chauffeur. What would the lady like?”
I pretended to barf. Kirk knew I hated it when he got overly formal and overly attentive. So he did it just to mess with me. “Shot of vodka,” I replied.
Kirk: How many?
I thought briefly. “FIVE.”
Kirk: Five to one, baby. One in five...
Me: No one here gets out alive.
Kirk: Are you able to hold yourself upright, or should you come with?
I took a seat on an ornate, damask-upholstered chaise lounge. “I’ll be okay. And I was kidding about the five shots.”
I sat there lost in the music for a while. I thought very little about Dennis. Even less about Mary. And not at all about Whisky (whom I had shagged less than a week ago). My mind danced through the ornate lighting in the hotel lobby, and I suddenly felt the need to join the hoity-toity guests on the dancefloor!
Kirk returned with four shots of vodka. Two for him, two for me. That was quite reasonable of him. He knew damn well that I couldn’t handle five shots, but he also knew that I was in a... state. One that called for more than a single shot. I raised a both miniature glasses to “No more ninnyhammers or hairy-footed lovers.” Kirk did his hilarious Smegal impression, we double-toasted, and downed the shots. The band launched into “Let’s Misbehave,” and I kicked off my stilettos and made a beeline for the dance floor.
“There’s something wild about you child that’s so contagious. Let’s be outrageous! Let’s misbehave.” Kadillac Kirk swept me up, twirled me around, and dipped me as we both sang along with the lyrics. I wasn’t swooning for him, but I was enthralled by the moment. The music, the dancing, the combination of booze and bud... so I kissed him as he pulled me back to my feet. And he kissed back. In a way that Dennis never had. In a way that Whisky’s beard wouldn’t permit. I didn’t feel the visceral sensations that I’d felt when Dennis had kissed me, but it felt nice to feel desired. And then I noticed that other guests were watching us and applauding. Now, that was a dopamine rush if ever there was one!
I gently broke away from the embrace, high-fived Kirk and returned to the chaise lounge to put my stupid shoes back on. He followed me and smashed his face back onto mine. I pulled away and laughed. “It was a moment,” I told him. “I appreciate the dance, and that kiss was the perfect finale. But it’s not happening again.”
Kirk: Not to worry, Valerie. I know you. I knew all along that we were performing, and I was more than happy to be your scene partner.
Me: And dance partner! Those were some excellent moves! I didn’t know you had ballroom training.
Kirk: You name it, I’ve mastered it. Another drink for the lady?
I pretended to barf again. “Not yet. I’m not sad right now. Do you mind if I just sit here and enjoy the music?”
Kirk: Ah. My kisses do have healing properties...
I flipped my hand up at him. “Knock that shit off, bro. I wanted to hang out with you because I trust you not to get weird. Even if I get weird, I know you have the maturity to balance me out.”
Kirk: Are you calling me old???
Me: No. I’m calling you rational, responsible, and respectful.
Kirk: Well, now. If you can articulate an alliterative statement that fluently, then you clearly aren’t drunk enough!
I dismissed this comment as a joke. And he did indeed knock off the flirtation. We had a perfectly pleasant time chatting and dancing (no more kissing, though). And then I noticed a girl I knew from Into the Woods entering the lobby. She’d played Florinda and I’d played Little Red. I called her name and waved enthusiastically. She waved back. And then her date entered. It was D.E.N.N.I.S. I sank into the chaise. Kirk caught on immediately. “The hobbit???” he asked. I nodded silently. “You wanna make out again?” he enthused. I shook my head. I had to go say hello to Flo. And I had an idea...
I crossed the lobby, smiled, squealed, and hugged her.
Florinda: Lil’ Red! It’s been forever! So glad to see you!!! This is my friend, Denny.
From the corner of my eye. I could see Dennis shifting uncomfortably. I refused to look directly at him, neglected to acknowledge Flo's introduction and continued to converse only with her. "So glad to see you, too! What have you been up to since we left the woods?"
Dennis: C’mon, Val...
Florinda (appearing oblivious to the iciness between me and Dennis): Oh, I had some drama after the show closed. I'll have to tell you about it some other time... Have you seen Prince Big Bad (Scumbanger) lately?
I laughed. “Last time I saw him, he was hitting on some nasty fat chick at The Imp.”
Flo and I both scoffed at the pervy pest. Into the Woods was where I’d initially met Scumbanger. He played The Wolf/Cinderella’s Prince. Again... typecasting. There’s a whole essay in my brain about my first encounter with the pest, during which he quoted the song that he sang to me in the show, “Hello, Little Girl.” But it gets into some pretty uncomfortable territory because he made me feel... excited. Well, excited and scared. Nothing of note happened during Into the Woods, but our odd interactions did kind of set the stage for some extremely regrettable events during that Cats cast party.
I excused myself, saying that I needed to get back to my friend. And then I leaned in and said in a hushed voice to Flo, “Watch your ass with that one. If he’s the Denny I’m thinking of...” I gave her a look that only another female would be able to read. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded. Dennis continued to shift as though he were trying to hold in a massive dump. “BABE! Uh...”
Flo apparently answered to that moniker as well. “What is it, Denny? Don’t worry. That was just telepathic girl talk. You apparently have a reputation...”
Dennis: Different Denny. I assure you I’m a pious gentleman.
Me: Ah. My mistake. Well, then. You guys have a good time! They’re playing Cole Porter, and the band is delovely. Great to see you, Flo!
I hugged Flo again, gave Dennis a curt nod, ignored the scent of mandarins and mountain air, and returned to Kirk.
I collapsed on the chaise lounge, exhausted from holding back the rage. I had no right to be mad at Florinda. I hadn’t seen her in three years, so how was she supposed to know that I’d had a thing with Dennis? Hell, I couldn’t even be mad at Dennis because the last time he and I had spoken in any meaningful way, I’d told him that I was no longer entertaining my crush on him. So why was I surprised to see him dating??? And why had he never taken ME out on a date like this??? And why wasn’t I smitten with Kadillac Kirk who HAD taken me out on a date like this, was an objectively excellent kisser, and a bona fide BALLER? What was wrong with me???
Kirk suggested going down the street to a quaint little bar and then sobering up at a diner closer to my apartment. I numbly nodded and followed him in silence for a few blocks. He assured me that I had “turned several heads” on the way to the new location, but I neither cared nor believed him. This wasn't the type of numbness I'd been aiming for. Now I needed to get schnockered. “Five shots of vodka, please.” Yes, I was serious.
Kadillac Kirk, my reliable designated driver, ordered only a beer and watched in something across between astonishment, concern, and delight as I slammed all five shots in rapid succession. I half expected to immediately retch all over the bar. But I felt fine. I half expected to immediately lose consciousness and wake up in the hospital. But I remained coherent. How I’d managed to take in that much hard liquor and suffer no direct consequences, I’ll never know.
I think I wanted to suffer. I wanted to either feel nothing at all or to feel a sickness bad enough to distract me from the scorching sting that pulsed through my being when I realized that I had lost the abstract notion I’d been addicted to this entire time. Hope. It wasn’t Dennis himself I couldn’t quit. It was that drug called hope. The hope that maybe, just maybe Dennis would give our romance a fair chance. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would make peace with himself, get his mind out of his crotch, and enjoy some agenda-free togetherness. The hope that maybe, just maybe he would stop bloviating about his admittedly impressive accomplishments for five fucking minutes and ask about my life. I had my own reasonably impressive accomplishments, even if they paled in comparison to his. A proper suitor would have enjoyed hearing about them.
But seeing him out with another woman, a woman who had no reason to parade her Dennis escapades before me as some means of revenge, a woman he was clearly courting of his own volition... My hope had died. It died before I’d had time to wean myself off it. Now I had to mourn the loss of hope, which is a very tricky brand of grief to navigate. Vodka wasn’t the answer, but it was what I had to work with. So it would have to do.
After enough time had passed without vomiting or collapsing, I asked Kirk to bring his car around to the bar so that I didn’t have to walk two and a half blocks drunk and in heels. He nodded and dramatically leaned in for a kiss. I recoiled. “DUDE! I told you. The moment has passed.”
Kirk: I beg your pardon. I misread your eyes. Thought I saw a green light...
Me: It’s fine. I just want to go home while I’m still feeling okay.
Kirk: Of course. Your chariot will be here soon.
He skipped off to fetch his Cadillac and I noticed that the lights in the bar were beginning to dance a bit. This should have been concerning. But then I realized that I was giggling. Wait... What? Oh shit. Sure, I was drunk from those shots. But what I was feeling in that moment wasn’t drunkery. It was stonery. Kirk probably misread my face because my pupils were dilated. Not from desire, but from drug use.
Some of you might be thinking that I was a bad friend for not introducing Lucy, an old dude connoisseur, to Kirk. Well... I did. Several years before the events of this story. He adored her. She, on the other hand, thought he was immature. And she wasn’t wrong. Lucy was astute when it came to sussing out a person’s true nature. Far more astute than I. Her initial assessment that Kirk was immature is about to be vindicated. Stretch those cringe muscles! It’s almost time for pie...
I somehow managed to get to his car. I honestly don’t recall how I got there. Did one of the bartenders carry me? Did some kind patron allow me to lean on him? Had Kadillac Kirk carried me out? I’m not sure. But my memory ceases to be fuzzy about halfway to the 24-hour diner. It might have been the very same 24-hour diner where Mary pulled her... shenanigans. I’ll never know.
Kirk: Would you say that you’re more drunk or more stoned?
Me: STONED. Definitely stoned.
Kirk made some sort of grunty noise and reached for my thigh. I slapped his hand.
Kirk: Stoned but not amorous? That’s rare.
I started laughing rather unkindly. “You’re a fucking horndog! I thought you were my safe straight male friend, dammit.”
Kirk: I solemnly swear that your safety is my primary concern, my stoned beauty.
I pretended to throw up.
Kirk: So... You’re not horny. But are you hungry? The diner I’m heading to makes this Maple Walnut Pie with the most sumptuous... sensual cream and exquisite drizzling of...
Me: Ew! Stop trying to bang the pie. Bro. Are YOU stoned? (Then I remembered the question.) Yes, I’m hungry. But I don’t like nuts. I’ll have banana cream.
Kirk made that repulsive grunty noise again. “Uhhhhh... Mmmmmm. Cream. Yessssss. Yes, we’ll be there in just a minute.” He was squirming in the driver's seat.
Me: GROSS, DUDE! If you’re gonna be like that I’ll just order HASH brows. Get it? Hash??? (I giggled.) You can’t make that sound nasty.
Kirk: Forgive my jokes. I think my blood sugar’s a bit low.
As Kirk parked, I began to wonder how I might get away with walking shoeless into the diner. The stilettos had to get off my feet. At least while I was walking. And Kirk was kind enough to give me his socks and wear his loafers “island style” into the establishment. Okay, that was gallant of him. Maybe he was going to behave himself for the rest of the evening.
I wasn’t terribly talkative as we sat down, and he expressed a bit of concern for my emotional well-being. I wasn’t coherent enough to explain what was happening to my emotions and I wasn’t sure I trusted him with my deep, dark secrets at that point. So I shrugged like a sulky teenager, ran my hands over my messy, windblown hair, and mumbled that I was “just hungry.” And right on cue, a very kind, slightly older waitress with a sweet southern accent stopped by to take our order.
Kirk: Ah, yes. We’ll have two cups of black coffee. And we’ll share a slice of that delectable Maple Walnut Pie.
Waitress: Oh, honey. That pie is scrumptious! I take it you’ve been here before?
Kirk: I have. This will be her first time to taste the splendor.
I hated to be a killjoy, but I interrupted and said to the waitress, “Ma’am? I’m sure the Maple Walnut is excellent, but could I please get a slice of Banana Cream? And a big glass of ice water?
Waitress: Sure, hon! Banana Cream’s just as yummy! I’ll be right back with those coffees and that big water.
Kirk was sucking on the tip of his forefinger and shaking his head a bit. “You’re passing up so many sensational... sensual...”
I put my forehead on the table and growled. “You swore you’d stop being nasty!” I held this #headdesk pose for quite some time before I finally lifted my head... only to see that Kirk was still sucking his fingertip and staring at me like a wild animal. “Pleeeeeease be normal,” I whined. “It’s been a really weird night for me.”
Kirk: Indeed. Many surprises. You know... You’re like titanium. Your flame burns so fast and so bright, if a guy doesn’t get in there while the iron is hot, he’ll never get another chance. I was too slow.
What the...? I was pretty sure he was wrong about titanium burning quickly. I’m no chemistry wiz, but my dad and my oldest brother are both big-brains when it comes to physics and chemistry. So I picked up some things just listening to them talk. Accurate or inaccurate, Kirk was being creepy again. He’d never been creepy towards me before, although I’d seen him act like this with other women. Usually with staggering success. Why????? His money. It had to be his money. Kirk was a nice-looking man, but holy shit... No amount of good looks could save this creep show
And then, our sweet waitress sat down our coffees, my water, and the two slices of pie. After I gulped down a whole bunch of water, I grabbed a fork, prepared to quell my munchies... and then I froze. Kirk was quickly flicking his finger back and forth across the top of his pie. And moaning. He noticed my wide-eyed stare, smirked, sucked the tip of his thumb, picked up the plate with both hands, and began flicking his tongue across the tip of the triangular pie slice. And moaning some more. Well, there went my appetite.
Kirk took his middle finger and jabbed it into the crustless vertex of the pie slice, then he began pumping it in and out like a piston, and flicking his thumb across the increasingly demolished top layer of whipped cream. He gasped this time. People were starting to stare. His pointer finger joined his middle finger in the piston action, and he replaced his thumb with his tongue. Between flicks of the tongue, he groaned, “Oh yeah, baby... Let me taste you,” but it was kind of hard to understand him.
And I was either about to run to the back office, tell them that I was in danger and needed a police escort home... OR I was about to burst out laughing at the spectacle. Kirk continued... He removed his fingers and gregariously licked pie filling off of them. "Ohhhhh," he groaned, "I got you soooo sticky. So sweet. So moist." And then he started sucking his fingertips again, switching from middle to pointer, middle to pointer and emitting a delighted little, “Mmmmmm” with every suck.
Finally, he jabbed his fingers back into the utterly destroyed pie, lowered his face into the mess and lapped loudly and passionately, moaning, grunting, and mumbling “Come on, baby. Come on. Mmmmmm. Come on.” I could see the waitress and some dude in a suit heading over to the table, so I sank down in my seat, partially covered my face, but continued to watch the train wreck. At last, Kirk shuddered violently as he splatted his entire hand onto the plate and rubbed furiously. And then he locked eyes with me. He sucked the tip of his thumb one final time and said, “You...” There was a long pause during which Kirk lovingly stroked the mess he’d made. “You... are the pie.”
I don’t hang out with Kadillac Kirk anymore. But he’s still a bachelor, ladies!

submitted by CringeyVal0451 to ReddXReads [link] [comments]

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