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Hello, I'm really looking for advice in my situation. 37M, no kids but I have to take care of my disabled wife and I was laid off from my old employer but I still have my 401k from them with about 120k in it. I have a new job with a 74k salary but over the past few years I have stupidly grew about 40k in credit card debt. I already tried using a balance transfer credit card which actually made the situation worse because the debt grew to that point instead of being half of that. I also already have a HELOC which I needed to do for home repairs so that isn't an option either. The stress of all this is driving me insane even though I am able to make my minimum payments.
One small saving grace is that my Mortgage is 0 interest because I make payments to family I bought it from. I also paid off my car loan last year too.
I'm at the point where I feel if I make a 401k withdrawal from my old 401k it could just make all this disappear. I cannot take a Loan against it since I'm not employed there. I could then max out contributions into my new 401k to make up for it over time. Would this be a good idea? Thank you for any advice anyone can give.
Quick breakdown: 4k Monthly Net Income. 120k 401k Old employer's 401k.
9k 1st Credit Card. 12k 2nd Credit Card. 13k 3rd Credit Card. (0% interest until December) 4k 4th Credit Card (0%) interest until December) 3k 5th Credit Card (9.99% interest)
600 monthly mortage payment. 463 monthly HELOC payment. 350 utilities. 250 Cell phone bill. 300-500 Groceries/Food.

My moderate Crohn's Disease was managed well by Humira for 10+ years. I had to bump up to a shot every week about year 6.
I moved to Alabama in 2022 (mistake #1) and I'm guessing the heat, stress, and 4 months of sinus infections (yay new allergies) triggered a flare last summer. On top of flaring, new job meant new insurance. I had to fight to get my Humira covered and I think I spent well over 20 hours and at least twice as many phone calls fighting with AbbVie, BCBS, and my pharmacy before finally coming to a long-term agreement. After a 6 weeks of Budesonide, I was feeling better and the Humira was still seeming to keep me stable. I was happy that I was able to enjoy the fall.
Then came time for next years' prior authorizations. Blue Cross Blue Shield (fuck you BCBS) denied my prior auth for my Humira even after several appeals because weekly was "over the FDA approved amount" (not uncommon for biologics) and I needed to "prove that I needed it" before they would cover it. I asked what that would mean and BCBS told me I needed to get worse or try another medication (which we know you can't go off and back on most biologics successfully) before they would consider approving it.
So, I went down to Humira every 10 days and added a chemotherapy drug Azathioprine. Wow my Crohn's and immune system hated that. The holidays were awful, I think I was sick every week between Thanksgiving and the New Year, and then several in January and February.
Cue the switch to Skyrizi, the first up on the list since most people switching from Humira have a good success rate. I was devastated to find out that even with how bad I already felt, it would take another 3 months before the medication might start working.
I tried to push through, but during month 2, I finally broke down and asked to go on a short Budesonide taper because I had gotten to the point where I couldn't eat without throwing up and getting through an 8 hour workday (with a nap for lunch) was exhausting. After over a year of fighting, I am back to where I started.
I'm starting month 4 with my first maintenance dose next week. I'm at least feeling stable right now having just finished the Budesonide, but went in to get labs yesterday and... well... my white blood cells and other inflammation markers have skyrocketed past even my labs from last summer's flare.
I just feel so defeated. I'm tired of my body not working with me and having to fight our god forsaken healthcare system to even have a chance. I'm tired of having to play the game of capitalism while giving up everything outside of those 8 hours just to pay for insurance and medication that doesn't work. I also feel bad for being negative because I know that can also impact how well medication works, but wow is it hard to be optimistic right now.

I currently have 200 MPBS Comcast Internet, with a cap of 1Tb for $45/mo. Which has been fine. My Internet promotion is over and the cost will double. I own my own modem, which is five years old, so probably could stand to be upgraded but I would have any idea what to upgrade to, so I’ve never done it!. I have six security cameras, two of us live in the house and have a few TVs. (No more than 2 watched at a time) , a laptop, and two cell phones. My Internet promotion is over and the cost will double, and still without unlimited data. Of course I am considering going to the now but I would not have any idea what to upgrade to, so I’ve never done it! Naturally I am considering going to the NOW Internet service, but I’m reading a lot of you talk about a bridge and I don’t understand any of the terminology. No idea what a bridge is! Can someone give me some recommendations in layman‘s terms? I’m hoping all I have to do is unplug what is currently plugged into my modem and then plug it into the new modem. Is there more to this that I’m missing? Comcast has agreed to extend my current promotion for one more year, but I would still be without unlimited data. I can live with that, but if the NOW internet is a better deal, then maybe I should consider making the switch as they’re just going to bump up my price next year . Thanks

Not being assigned was a crucial factor in my awakening. But I am still feeling angry and am very upset by the elders' deceit and hypocrisy. In my congregation there are many elders and few ministerial servants. I was working hard, doing my part and the elders were not giving me training. (BORG recommends that elders provide training to youth).
I was a young man with a sincere heart, when I was a teenager I confessed even small sins like kissing a girl at school.
During the pandemic I thought harmageddon was happening, so I started auxiliary pioneering, I gave comments at every meeting, I did my best in readings and 5-minute speeches. I was in the field every Sunday, I did 10 hours of preaching, even after the report was abolished I continued trying to do 10 hours. I ran the field service, took care of the sound. And I continued at that pace until about two months ago.
Several brothers in the congregation thought I was already a ministerial servant. When I made presentations, the brothers said I did better than some elders. I tried to help others in various ways (I helped find rides, helped the elderly use their cell phones). I took the initiative to call my family to family worship, when my family missed meetings I went to the kingdom hall and to the field alone to encourage them so I ended up transforming the PIMIS into super PIMIS (who are upset because I'm slowly disappearing).
After each visit from the CO, the elders told me that it was only a short time before I would be assigned. They told me that I needed to go to the field more often on Saturdays. (I was already going) Even so, I started going on Saturdays more often. Then the visit arrived, two elders told me that I was ready, so I had a lot of expectations, but I was not assigned. Then an elder told me that I needed to go to the fields on weekdays (although he didn't do that and I can't because of work).
I think the elders didn't appoint me because they were jealous or didn't like me. When I was at school, teachers praised me a lot for my potential, I already got several university scholarships, but within my hall I was never good enough to get an MS. I believe the plan backfired, now that I am fading the elders will have to work even harder on indicators, sound, microphones etc, as there are not many brothers wanting to do this currently. They lost someone prominent.
An elder noticed that I was upset about this and told me that I should try harder and be patient, as it had taken him over 10 years to go from MS to elder. (This elder barely knows how to read properly) and at his time the organization was at its peak so he really had to work hard to be an MS and Elder, but nowadays few are reaching out, it doesn't make sense for someone to need to put in so much effort be an MS currently.
Ultimately, I hate this cult and I want to free myself as quickly as possible, but I needed to get this off my chest.

A bit of a rant. Sorry.
We found out the gender yesterday and I reacted in a pretty negative way. I spent the day crying and in bed. My husband tried to be supportive for a little bit. His way of consoling me was watching funny reels on social media next to me. It didn’t help much. I went to the other room as I could hear him laughing and I wasn’t in the mood. I went to office today and we usually talk on the phone after I’m done. I called him and he asked me how I was feeling. I said not great. He then got pissed off and said I should get over it and I’ve ruined the entire experience for him. I snapped back and said I still have time to terminate the pregnancy (please don’t attack me, I’ve never really wanted children but he’s always been keen so I’ve had to compromise if I want him in my life).
I am undergoing therapy since the start of this year and speaking to my therapist tomorrow. Just needed to vent as I cannot tell anyone in my life about this right now.

I have been mixing up my loadouts these days to spice things up. Recently I have been having a bit of a love affair with the arc thrower. To preface - I only play helldive difficulty these days and all this feedback is based on helldive.
I will say I have had a lot of fun running arc thrower, but I will also admit it has a lot of flaws, perhaps too many, and could use a little love. It really doesn’t need anything too major, but I will discuss my thoughts and experience here. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
The PROS ⚡️⚡️⚡️

• Great for crowd control if you can gain some space. 20-30 meters is ideal as the max range is now about 30 meters. With the ship upgrade you can chain to 3 targets if they are lined up or bunched up.
  
• The stagger effect (this is the only thing that makes this weapon viable, imo). You can push back hordes of brood commanders and even bile spewers and (slowly) shock them to death
  
• Infinite ammo, which funny enough is probably the weakest “strength” of this weapon because it has to be balanced around it, while other support weapons essentially have infinite ammo with the ship full resupply upgrade. I never run out of AC ammo because 1 supply pack refills to full, and you can just call another backpack down once the cooldown is up.
  
• No backpack, but you really need to run one to make this thing viable on higher levels. I will discuss backpacks more later.
  

The CONS ⛈️⛈️⛈️

• Must be careful around teammates. For the most success you just have to hope your teammates understand the cone radius and to let you handle things without running into your lightning. Not a huge ask, but a lot of folks are operating with 2 brain cells and love to get in the way of you and your targets. I have been in many situations where I can’t use the weapon because people are too close. Pro tip - always stand BEHIND the arc thrower guy and there is a 0% chance it will kill you.
  
• It takes forever to kill Hulks/Chargers without help. Chargers take about 5-6 headshots (yes, headshots) based on my tests. If you aren’t hitting the head every time it can take 7-8 shots sometimes. Hulks die a bit faster, but headshotting them somehow became really inconsistent after the last arc thrower change. You also can no longer stun hulks :(
  
• Although it can handle both heavy units by itself, it can be very time consuming, and during that time your team is moving on, and other enemies are approaching. Fighting a charger alone is free, but fighting one with a bunch of bugs jumping on you is quite the struggle with arc thrower. If you aren’t careful you will find yourself in giant fights that you probably shouldn’t be in.
  
• Misfires - these seem to happen usually when there isn’t a clear path to a target, but I’ve also had it happen when I’m in prime position to blast a spawn. A misfire messes up the cadence of stuns and cripples the weapon badly. It feels really fucking bad to be crowd controlling a bunch of guys only for the gun to triple misfire and suddenly you are swarmed and dead. This needs to be fixed ASAP and the gun would feel wayyy better.
  
• Basically useless against elites. This is fine on paper, as a weapon that excels in chaf clear shouldn’t excel and killing elites, but it would be nice if they could feasibly down one without dancing around for 5 mins. It can strip the armor off a bile titan which is kinda neat.
  
• Terrible at point blank range. If little bugs get too close you MUST swap to another weapon to deal with them. Arc thrower will just stop working and you will eat tons of damage if you don’t clear them out with something else.
  

How I would buff it:

1. consistently stagger hulks again please. Arc thrower is already not great for bots, but now it has almost no appeal without being able to stun hulks. That was an interesting niche it filled that has been removed.
   
2. either increase fire rate or damage to make the heavy killing experience a bit faster than paint drying. Yes, it has infinite ammo, but that should be more of a unique feature rather than a reason to keep its power so low. Other support weapons really have no ammo issues nowadays, and are essentially infinite ammo. Also Quasar exists…so theres that.
   

General arc thrower tips!

• Use a backpack! It helps a lot! My favorite is shield pack so you can shrug off encroaching enemies and be able to dip in and out of the fray easier. Dog laser is good too to kill chaf that gets too close as well as shoot behind you as run. Jetpack I haven’t used with this, but it can be very strong and allow you to get high ground and escape bad situations.
  
• Swap to a shotgun or close range weapon for enemies that get too close. Arc thrower doesn’t work well at point blank range, so always be ready to whip out a shotgun when the little bugs get too close. I use the incendiary breaker (so original) but it works great in tandem.
  
• Be careful when teammates are close. If you charged a shot already you can aim up and fire into space to expend a charge if needed.
  
• Stun grenades can help you gain some distance and free shots on bigger targets.
  
• Be sure to run elite killing stratagems like 500kg, orbital railcannon, orbital laser, 380 barrage, etc. You don’t need much chaf clear as the arc thrower will be your main source of chaf clear anyways.
  
• Run into the fray! But also be ready to run away when things get too hairy. Remember you always want to be about 20-30 meters away.
  
• Aim for headshots! Things will die a lot faster if you hit criticals with arc thrower. Aim high as it trends downward.
  

Let me know your thoughts on arc thrower if you’re an arc thrower enjoyer!

TCAP:
5 Marvin Lakhan: This guy is way more fucked up than people realize because he seemed completely normal. John Kennelly is more popular due to his iconic voice/phrases and getting caught at McDonalds but Marvin is seriously fucked up. He wanted the decoy to fuck the cat with him watching, had graphic instructions that he definitely knew from viewing bestiality porn, and wanted to have sex with the decoy on her parents bed and in every room so she would never forget how he violated her. He tries to play it off like he was just joking and even Chris calls him out on how explicit his bestiality thing was. Tried to claim he wasn’t gonna go ‘all the way’ despite stripping naked in order to fulfill a deal so the decoy would do sex acts with a cat. Kennelly seemed to have brain trauma or some developmental issues which I think helped contribute to his deviancy but Marvin is 100% aware the entire time what he’s doing and unlike Wunderler who might have had the slightly more explicit bestiality chat (the PJ decoy said she had nightmares for years due to how horrible it was and it’s like a top 5 slimy I think on the PJ website). Fucking weird guy who needed way more time imo. I don’t think he’s reoffended but he needed serious help.
4 Lorne Armstrong: classic Lorne, can’t even win a list he’s rightfully on. I think basically everyone knows mostly everything about Lorne but the fact he’s only 4 on this list should tell you how bad it gets. genuinely believed he was in a committed, serious, albeit highly toxic, controlling and unhealthy relationship with a 13 year old girl. His chat is fucking disgusting. He gets jealous over Kayla’s dad’s corvette stating it ‘didn’t have his penis’. Called his dick Mr. Penis, raged over a made up 13 year old ex boyfriend. It’s just so disturbing and so apparent Lorne is highly sick and still to this day has never fully accepted responsibility, resulting in him becoming the community lolcow.
3 Walter Babst: this may seem strange given it’s not Rutherford who actually taught the age ranges of the decoy, but something about Babst just disturbs me so much. His chat genuinely is one of the only ones that made me near sick to my stomach and I’ve read part of Wunderlers. It’s so gross how he de ages all of his terms, he seems genuinely upset she started her period, obviously implying he wanted to be able to cum in her without consequences which is fucking horrific. He treats her like a doll and commands her what to wear, and the worst part of all of it is Babst is a smart guy. He immediately knew he was caught and going to be arrested, and that what he was doing was wrong. He obviously had been tortured by these demons for so long and finally couldn’t resist and decided he was going to do it. What’s even more disturbing is the guy was highly over qualified apparently to teach high school and is one of the only predators to ever have a better life after getting caught. He works at still and I believe is a manager or upper management at an engineering/physics firm I think? So did he become a teacher to sort of sate the desire? Maybe he was at the phase were merely creeping on his freshmen female students and catching some inappropriate down shirt glances or gross butt staring was enough to get him off.
2 Chuck Harding: truthfully, this guy and the piece of shit at #1 are so close in how horrible and disturbing they are it almost doesn’t matter. The decoy said they’re glad Chuck is dead and most of society should be as well. He was a serial groomer, likely rapist of multiple unreported boys. He told the decoy that he could be his grandpa, he wanted to go to Disney with the decoy in public and pretend that Chuck was his grandpa. He lived in Anaheim near Disney and I can only imagine the depraved shit Chuck did living that close it was NOT a coincidence. A disturbing, completely child porn brain rotted husk of a human who seriously had no qualms with what he was doing and even gets defensive and almost confrontational with Chris. If that was it I’d argue he’s still in my top 10 but then they find not only did he have CSAM, he had tons of it, mountains of it. Not only THAT, but some of it was dated back like 35 years old. NOT ONLY THAT, it was discovered that basically for that length of time Chuck had been a part of a CSAM exchange and honestly probably creation ring. An absolute monster, truly probably the worst person they ever caught, and again you can swap Chuck with #1 if that’s how you feel. Chuck’s segment is almost not even funny just like the next guy because of how absolutely disturbing and sick these men were.
1 James Wiles: Who else. Now comes down to your individual morality of what’s more horrific, being a 40 year long pedophile participating in a CSAM exchange and again probably also creation ring, or allowing your own flesh and blood daughters to not only be raped by yourself, but your sick brother as well. It’s just beyond the pale for so many predators, because it’s real. His daughters have done interviews I’m pretty sure and they said when he died they celebrated, that one of them had to take a picture and she keeps it to know he’s actually dead. Just a complete and utter piece of trash who I am genuinely happy is dead and if hell exists he is there. Horrific, disturbing, he’s like Westerbeck the improved edition.
Dishonorable Mention slotting between #2 and #3 imo is JPW. He’s just too fucking funny for me to put here but his life is insane and he did some horrible stuff, definitely could be on here had some of these other guys not been worse.
HVP/Takedown
5 Brian: This one will be short because outside of the stuff I want to really talk about he doesn’t have a lot of personality but something so he’s going at #5 below the next guys. This dude openly admitted to having had sex with multiple minors prior to the sting and ultimately what gets him on here is he is wearing and always wears the necklace one of his victims gave him, and it definitely seemed like he wore it for his own sick pleasure.
4 Donnie: This interaction is a top 10 of all time in my book. Takedown has a lot of stinkers and boring interviews and stings because there’s no long form decoy work, but wow, this guy and Brian, also caught in this sting are just doozies to me. Donnie wanted a dad to basically pimp his own daughter out to him, have the dad watch him fuck his daughter, then engaged in sex acts with the father and then all three of them would have sex together. He openly admits in the decoy interaction to an undercover cop posing as the father he’d done this exact scenario before or something similar and is sickeningly smug and ‘kind’ to the decoy portraying the kid. He states that parents should ‘be more involved’ in their children’s sexual development and exploration that it was good the father was going to participate in the rape of his own 13 year old daughter. His interview with Chris is no less shocking as he just further admits that he’s done it before and enjoyed it. Absolutely insane interaction.
3 Michael Gentile (or Popovich): These guys are almost the same in my book, slightly different flavors of disturbing and perverted old men. I’ll focus on Gentile. Just a fucking creep pedo who definitely had done this before, wanted to film child porn in his hotel room, only lived an hour away so why did he need a room? Very, VERY adept at grooming and knew instantly it was a sting when he entered. Calls his wife the witch and expects her to bail him out. His texts and voice mails and phone calls are absolutely vile and just pure filth. Really disturbing. Perhaps could be swapped with Donnie but something about the way he speaks, his confrontational nature with detectives despite having one of the grossest chat logs and decoy encounters, his evasiveness, just makes me rank him higher.
2 Jesse Velez: a bit of a cop out because it’s disturbing how this interaction went and how fucking smug this dumbass was realizing that Chris wasn’t really prepared. He is disgusting also no doubt. He wanted a 13 year old boy to live with him and ‘no one would find out’. It’s so disturbing realizing just how manipulative and sick these guys are the second they aren’t 10000% nailed to the wall. He gets arrested and all still but I would kill to see the world where Chris has the full chat and can obliterate this smug, condescending idiot.
1 Steven Buchanan: Who else (again). A short one cause his chat isn’t super outrageous, he’s relatively young, but the most disturbing thing about him is the ‘what if’ scenario. This guy looked unhinged. I don’t know why, if it was the military, if it was just something else that broke him, but this guy was dangerous without a shadow of a doubt. I don’t believe the items that constituted the kill kit were together, like in a bag, but even having those items is highly concerning. Really disturbing to watch and think about the horrible possibility of a real girl had been persuaded to leave her house and get into this psycho’s car.

I'm looking for a smart watch for an 11 year old. To be able to text, call, track steps, heart rate and GPS. I'm clueless on where to start. I'd want it to have its own phone number but not require the child to have a cell phone. My current plan is with Metro by T-Mobile. I'm not sure if there are options to add on to the current plan or a separate plan for just the watch.
I looked into the Gabb watches but the reviews aren't that great. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

Remember what it took to get together with friends in high school?
I lived in a small town. We'd have to coordinate by phone what our plans were (go see a movie, go to the arcade) and then plan who was going to drive.
The driver would pick is up at two or three different houses. Now that we were together we could start our evening.
So what did you have to do to hang out with your friends? These were the days before cell phones, messaging, email, and social media. Much more difficult but fulfilling when a plan came together.

There's nothing remotely like the sparseness of the North Woods in America east of the 100th meridian. Cell phone coverage maps, light pollution maps, population density maps, etc, show the area's lack of inhabitation is at a scale and degree quite unlike anywhere in the US east of Mississippi. Right across the border in Canada, however, things are generally "normal". What gives?

On another post, I am seeing so many stylists don't have a business line and are using their personal phones for clients. Guys, you absolutely deserve a day off. And that means not even knowing that a client is barking at you until you want to choose to look. I use google-fi for my work phone. It is 25.00 a month because I don't use any data really. On that phone, I get the calls, texts and emails. I leave that phone home when I am not working. And honestly on my days off, I do check daily but only once. When I decided to get second line, I just kept my old number as business phone and then got a new number for my personal. I did this about 20 years ago. My coworkers even just leave their work cells at the shop. You deserve space and downtime.

My regular cell network and imessage and facetime got completely messed up after using Airalo. I'll never use it again, it caused me so many issues. I had to call my provider and was on the phone with them for an hour as they manually reconnected my SIM. But then my imessage still wouldnt work so I had to call Apple, only to be told to call my provider and ask them to re-provision my phone number so that it could be activated for iMessage. The massive headache that Airalo causes greatly outweighs the very minor convenience it offers. Would not recommend to anyone. Just use the travel / roaming feature offered by your provider. Airalo is a dog's breakfast.

On the other hand, i feel like I'm interrupting them when it's time to help.

Is it just the Pacific northwest or nationwide? Phones are randomly calling or phones not calling in or out. An Autozoner used his cell phone to call the store and now his cp number is being spoofed to continue calling the store. Yikes!

So, the reasoning this salacious, scandalous fun event that took place doesn't matter, is because obviously if a female finds out about her boyfriends after hour pool fucking that you're not attending, you're probably not going to be super chill about it and if you can make his life miserable, you could just throw it out there on top of being a bad boyfriend, he may be a murderer.
Who knows? I know of a woman who told cops she walked in on her cheating husband fucking their dog, just to hurt him. To each their own.
So if I were the Murray' I'd be more pissed about the orgy relevation than the Fred bullshit.
It also lends credence to poor old cheated on Perp. This story exposed her and pissed off all the men experts who no doubly have all been cheated on and can understand why Perp acts like he could truly care less she went missing. He was hurt. She hurt lil Perpy' heart.
One of the biggest Cult worshipers justifies Perp not calling her right away after recieving word shes missing, was because he wanted to finish his meal.
Same person totally gets why Perp denied that phone call from Fred's phone took place, he was sleepy and confused!!
Also, Perp was wanted for questioning ok?
That means LE wanted to talk to him. They suspected him, he is the one who told you that.
Do you really think they are letting their perp roam around unattended and not under surveillance?
If the Perp knows he's a suspect, you think he's dumb enough to lead them to her?
Perp could get cell service by the crash area, if one was truly honest with themselves in a minute had he drove the right way, it's time to stop pretending it was a huge dead zone.
Smarten up.