Hello! I'm Vix, I'm asian and I'm 16, I will be studying as a humanitarian student for the next school year.
Interest :
I love to study, to study anything. I love to study and know more about the diversity that this world has to offer, specially with how different countries are from one another— with how beautiful and different countries are when it comes to their culture and traditions. I would love to travel more once that I'm in the right age to do so.
Art is one of the things too that I'm interested with doing. I love to paint, to draw, and to do anything that relates with Art, Crafting is one of the things that I am highly interested with too, I crochet, make jewelries and make stickers and other stationery items that can be used to journal. I have tried embroidery too, I'm currently studying on how to sew now.
I love cooking, it's one of the chores that I love doing, specially with how I can apply this with studying other country's culture and traditions.
I also workout everyday if anyone here is trying to find a person to write penpals with who workouts, It will be fun too to share our progress with working out, to share our goals.
I'm thinking about studying IR and Law after I study humanities & social science.
I also read tarots and study astrology, Politics, Economics, Literature interests me too, I have a ton of things that I am interested with but I won't add everything here since it's getting long.
...
I would love to write penpals with anyone, as long as they're not creepy. I can share things that I have done out of my hobbies, I cam send stickers, crochet projects, paintings, art and other things like pictures from my country to share with the person that I'll write penpals with, but I will only will entertain someone who have the interest with making our penpal journey last. I don't want people who will only talk to me for a week or so then ghost me. Anw, have a good day! ❤

Judge Patrick J. Schiltz:
“It’s surprising how many otherwise competent attorneys ‘punt’ at the sentencing hearing.”
Federal Judge Robert N. Scola:
Judge Scola suggested that lawyers take a page out of the book from our death penalty colleagues and advised,
“Don’t wait to think about sentencing advocacy,” since 99 percent of federal criminal clients will be facing sentencing, start preparing the case for sentencing early on.
Hello, and thank you for tuning into my series, INDICTED AND FACING PRISON: NOW WHAT?
My name is Marc Blatstein. In 2006, I was Indicted, pleaded guilty to a felony, and lost my medical license. To call this a surreal experience is an understatement.

My goal in this series is to provide you with the crucial information you’ll need to survive and navigate these times. I’ll cover a new topic daily so you can move forward with Knowledge, Preparation, and Confidence.

Federal Judge Scola speaks from experience, and this series will highlight what you need to do while advocating for yourself.

Should you have questions, please do not hesitate to call and consider engaging my services at 240.888.7778—this is your life.

Whether you are a COO, CEO, Physician, Lawyer, politician, or anybody else, your decisions today will determine your future.

THERE IS A DOJ-HHS-OIG-OPM WHITE-COLLAR TASK FORCE, and once they're in a hunt with your name...

I will cover the do's, Don'ts, and what-ifs in this series. No one can promise that:
· I know the judge, don't worry.
· There's no rush to prepare - after you've heard that the Feds are asking questions.
· Trials: 0.2% win, you just got home – still with your world shattered
· At sentencing are those who Plea and have lost at Trial
· What can you do to defend yourself? Learn and follow…

If you're already at this point and don’t have the time to wait for my future videos, call me, and we can discuss your situation one-on-one. Once again, my number is 240.888.7778.

~Stages~
Indictment
Arraignment
· Release on personal recognizance.
· Bail or Bond, You’re on Pretrial Supervision; follow the rules eg. No Witness Tampering).
· Remanded, you go directly to jail.
Plea or Trial: Your Defense
· A Well Written Personal Narrative (this is your BRAND, Story, or Autobiography).
o Why? Because the DOJ has gifted you their Story of you: Your Indictment – America Most Wanted
· Release Plan: your judge and other STAKEHOLDERS will want to know your future plans.
Trial Win, Go Home
Trial Lose and Plea
· Pre Trial-Supervision
· Personal Recognizance
· Remanded
Presentence Interview/Investigation Preparation,
· Your Personal NARRATIVE,
· Release Plan,
· Allocution Practiced
The Probation Officer who writes your Presentence Report- Your Advocate?
· They’re overworked and have no time.
· Getting all your files to them one week early, Comprehensive and Organized, may be appreciated.
Sentencing.
· Your Personal NARRATIVE and Release Plan, if attached to your PSR, is read by the Judge and could affect your Sentence.
· Allocution Practiced is your conversation with your Judge.
Sentence options.
· Prison, Halfway House, Home Confinement, Diversion sentencing, or a Combination.
· if you violate any arbitrary rules - it's possibly back to prison.
Probation Supervised Release.
· and then you're mostly done, except for your Felony.
· You’re still under the BOP Rules.
· You're at the mercy of your PO.
· Restitution or not, they will want you to work, volunteer, or care for a relative – but doing nothing may not work.
· No Narrative as part of your PSR; then all they will read about you is from your Indictment and BOP File.

To engage my services or to have your concerns answered, Call me Today: 240.888.7778. This is my Cell, and I personally answer and return all calls. You can also get additional information on my website @: PPRSUS.com
Physician Presentence Report Service, LLC

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Hello! I'm Vix, I'm asian and I'm 16, I will be studying as a humanitarian student for the next school year.
Interest :
I love to study, to study anything. I love to study and know more about the diversity that this world has to offer, specially with how different countries are from one another— with how beautiful and different countries are when it comes to their culture and traditions. I would love to travel more once that I'm in the right age to do so.
Art is one of the things too that I'm interested with doing. I love to paint, to draw, and to do anything that relates with Art, Crafting is one of the things that I am highly interested with too, I crochet, make jewelries and make stickers and other stationery items that can be used to journal. I have tried embroidery too, I'm currently studying on how to sew now.
I love cooking, it's one of the chores that I love doing, specially with how I can apply this with studying other country's culture and traditions.
I also workout everyday if anyone here is trying to find a person to write penpals with who workouts, It will be fun too to share our progress with working out, to share our goals.
I'm thinking about studying IR and Law after I study humanities & social science.
I also read tarots and study astrology, Politics, Economics, Literature interests me too, I have a ton of things that I am interested with but I won't add everything here since it's getting long.
...
I would love to write penpals with anyone, as long as they're not creepy. I can share things that I have done out of my hobbies, I cam send stickers, crochet projects, paintings, art and other things like pictures from my country to share with the person that I'll write penpals with, but I will only will entertain someone who have the interest with making our penpal journey last. I don't want people who will only talk to me for a week or so then ghost me. Anw, have a good day! ❤

I wanted to dive deep into a topic that's been close to my heart, especially this Mental Health Awareness Month—integrating mindfulness and meditation into leadership. It’s fascinating to see how these ancient practices, often relegated to the realm of personal development, hold immense potential to revolutionize leadership in the modern workplace. 🌿✨
Why Mindfulness Matters for Leaders
In the hustle of hitting targets and managing teams, leaders often find themselves in a reactive mode—responding to challenges with a high-stress mindset. Here’s where mindfulness changes the game. By fostering a practice of presence and awareness, leaders can shift from reactive to proactive, making decisions that are not only smart but also empathetic. This isn’t just good for business; it’s essential for building a culture of trust and psychological safety.
Meditation: The Secret Weapon for Emotional Resilience
Meditation, on the other hand, isn’t just about sitting quietly. It’s about developing a mental resilience that allows you to navigate through stress, uncertainty, and the constant demands of leadership with a sense of calm and clarity. The benefits? Improved focus, better decision-making abilities, and a significant drop in stress levels.
Starting Your Practice
If you're new to this, starting can be as simple as dedicating five minutes a day to sit in silence, focusing on your breath. Whenever your mind wanders (and it will), gently bring it back. This practice can help anchor you in the present, making you a more grounded and effective leader.
Incorporating Mindfulness into Your Leadership
Start Meetings with a Minute of Silence: A simple way to introduce mindfulness into your team’s routine. It helps everyone settle and be fully present. Mindful Listening: Practice fully listening to your team members without formulating a response in your mind while they’re speaking. This can significantly improve your communication and relationships. Regular Check-ins with Yourself: Throughout the day, take moments to assess your state of mind and body. This can help in recognizing stress signals early and addressing them. I believe that leadership is not just about the strategies and decisions but also about the mental and emotional fitness to lead with intention and empathy. Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools in building that foundation.
I'm keen to hear from you all—have you tried integrating mindfulness or meditation into your professional life? Or are you curious about how to get started? Let’s share insights, questions, and experiences. Here’s to building not just a subreddit but a community of thoughtful, mindful leaders.
Looking forward to your thoughts and discussions!

Hello, as the title suggests I am a guy in my early 20s (from germany if that matters, different countries / cultures have different dating culture afterall) and I am really struggling to find women / partners to date, or in general have no clue how I should even go about approaching them.
I always get told to just make friends first and to go from there, but that's something I'm also not very good at(like how does one just randomly approach people and make friends with them?? ). On top of that, every woman I do approach or already know from school or am already friends with seems to be in a relationship already, which makes me feel like I'm somehow lacking behind for my age / hopeless in ever finding a partner.
I have also already tried dating apps and approaching women in clubs / bars, although in both cases with 0 success. Personally I don't think my appearance or the way I view women is the issue (as in possibly putting them on a pedestal / treating them differently than I would with men)
I would also like to note that social media (and recent events at my university) have probably had a huge impact on my confidence to just approach people because I don't want to be seen as creepy / weird and be "exposed" as such things.
So my question is, how do I as a 21yo guy best go about meeting women to be friends / go on dates with, without coming off as a creep??

First of all, I'm so grateful for each person here who has shared about their experience with Ballet 5:8. I found ex58 after a random TikTok search one night last November, on the off chance anyone on TikTok had a negative experience there like I did. I found a series of videos from one ex-dancer at 5:8 who shared her experiences and mentioned this subreddit, and I debated about making a post for a while. Part of me was terrified that J would see it and figure out who I am and hate me even more for it (which is definitely my people-pleaser tendencies + trauma coming through), but I really don't care anymore. Hi J, if you're there. 👋
I was a staff member at Ballet 5:8 for four-ish months, which is a minuscule amount of time compared to many of you. It's heartbreaking to hear what you endured. I guess my four months there demonstrate how quickly J and the culture she's created can completely shatter a person's self-worth, faith, and beyond.
I was fresh out of college and desperately looking for a job. "Desperately" because I was in the midst of a season of rough mental health and family dynamics, and I needed something to keep me occupied. Up to this point, I had done PMarketing/Advertising for a few agencies as internships and part time, but nothing full time. I stumbled across a LinkedIn job post for an open staff position at Ballet 5:8 that seemed to align with my skills perfectly. It seemed to be some sort of match made in heaven that Ballet 5:8 was also a Christian organization and I was a Christian who had danced for 10+ years. All I needed to do was move across the country to Chicago. What could possibly go wrong?
The First Red Flags

• Turnover Rate - While I was interviewing, my soon-to-be-boss (not J) mentioned that 5:8 had been looking for someone to fill this role for at least a year, but the past few people they had chosen to fill the role either left or moved on to other opportunities. Huh. Despite multiple people filling the role, there seems to be a common denominator...wonder who...
• Salary & "Benefits" - My high-school-age brother, who worked as a cashier at Panera at the time, made slightly more than what I made as a salaried employee at Ballet 5:8. Oh, and health insurance? Definitely not. It's laughable. I know you're a non-profit organization, but if you're going to try to hire someone to promote your entire brand, you might want to consider paying them more than Panera.
• Love Bombing - During my second round of interviews and as they were preparing to tell me I got the job, I remember Julianna saying something similar to, "We've been searching and praying for this role to be filled for years and we've finally found you. You're the person we've been waiting and praying for." Yeah, yeah. It was music to my people-pleaser ears at the time, but deep down I knew it was a load of crap to get me to sign on and drink the B58 kool-aid.
• Job Description - They made it sound like I'd be managing and directing a team, which is something with which I did have prior experience. However, they failed to mention that the rest of the "team" was currently a product of their imagination and they were planning to one day hire more people to support my role. This part alone led to a vast amount of stress on my part and infinite expectations on J's, because at least they had one person now, rather than none. Maybe I'll tell some of those stories here someday, which make up the bulk of the horrors. They had absolutely no idea what they needed, but they had a precise vision for the miraculous outcome that would follow each project and task I was assigned. A massive TikTok following overnight! A whole perfect Wikipedia page! Becoming bigger and "more obnoxious marketing-wise" than Shen Yun! Yes, those were a few of the goals.

I know those red flags should've been more than enough to make me run for the hills rather than accept the job. Hindsight truly is 20/20. Without my already terrible mental health clouding my judgement, or the love bombing mixed with my people-pleasing tendencies, there is no way in hell I would've ever agreed to work there.

1. BTN > College Graduation? Beyond the Nutcracker is ridiculous in my opinion, but unfortunately that's not what this is about. This is about the fact that Julianna & my (other) managedirect boss (who has since left 5:8) wouldn't let me go to my own college graduation ceremony because Ballet 5:8 was *far more important,* despite me requesting to attend my graduation 4+ months in advance and already making arrangements for a hotel, flights, and my grandparents to come. For context, I took summer classes and graduated during the summer term, so my university's next commencement was in December. Why did Julianna need me at 5:8 so desperately at that time? None other than to have me help operate the damn BTN ticket booth. I wish I could say I quit then and there when they told me I couldn't attend my graduation, but I stayed. My last day with Ballet 5:8 was working that Beyond the Nutcracker show, which otherwise would've been my graduation day.
   
2. Merry Christmas By late Novembeearly December, I was completely broken. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't focus, I couldn't even cry anymore. I could, however, feel the most overwhelming sense of anxiety at the thought of giving my two-weeks notice. I will never forget the night I pressed the send button on that email, going directly to J and my boss. If I thought J's intimidation tactics during the previous 3.5 months had been hell, I hadn't seen anything yet. Unfortunately, the morning after I submitted my two-weeks notice was a work day, so I went in early and tried to prepare myself for J's rage. It came, but through snarky comments under her breath, rushing past me on her way into her office, the silent treatment, and multiple vague and dramatic messages in the all-staff Slack. "Nothing like a good punch to the gut right before Christmas!" Oh please. You've managed to control and/or traumatize an entire organization for years. Don't let me, a barely 20-year-old at the time, intimidate you. There's a grinch or scrooge joke in here somewhere. In brief, she didn't speak a word to me for the last two weeks of my time there.
   
3. Chicago (Again) It's been a few years since Ballet 5:8. I moved back home. I'm married now. And I'm moving back to Chicago now. My husband's job is requiring us to move there for at least the next four years, and while I'm excited at the chance to redo my time in Chicago, I'm also terrified that the bad memories will be too much and I'll be living in fear the entire time. That being said, what were/are some of the things you've enjoyed in Chicago? I'm open to any recommendations. 😅
   

If you managed to make it this far, thanks for reading. I've found so much comfort by reading all of your stories and I'm grateful to have the space to share parts of mine.

Hi, I've been in a relationship for the past 5 months and overall is (was?) going pretty good. We like each other a lot and have a lot in common. We were having our first week living together (we had plenty of weekends together and a 4 day trip).
However on our 2nd weekday we had a "sleep-separate, I need to think" fight. I would appreciate your opinion.
She came pretty late from work and was visibly tired. We sat down and we had dinner (It was already done when she come).
She brought up an issue that she fixed up for me (I forgot something in a rental car and she was the "responsible person"). I very lightly acknowledged the issue and admit my fault, since I mostly interiorize the comment and simply try to avoid the same issue in the future, to which she complains "well, I don't know what you are thinking, you look irresponsible if you don't apologize and say thanks for someone covering your miss. In work and in a society this is very much needed".
I very much agreed, apologized and say thanks for covering me up. Then we talked about "my way of dealing with such issues" and how she deals with them in contrast (She apologizes profoundly even for small stuff, I try to rub it off, I don't like making big deals).
For more context, we live in Japan (and she is Japanese) where there is a big apology culture so I definitely understand where she is coming from.
So for the next hour or so, I'm doing some self reflection out loud, trying to explain to myself and to her why I'm acting like this and such. We also bring some other issues where I covered up where she dealt it her way and I was like "no worry!". I was hoping to have a very nice and deep conversation to understand each other better.
I'm a very curious person, we love talking about random stuff and we are both smart people so we align a lot in many stuff and have interesting "why" discussions. I'm also very transparent and honest, I would argue borderline autistic (if not somewhat autistic).
One of the things I said is that I just think I'm a bit selfish sometimes or that I'm more proud that I would like to, or that I sometimes prioritize myself over anyone else. "Maybe I just think I'm better than the other person so I can get away with it" kind of thought process to which I absolutely know is not good, but again, just trying to understand myself and my actions.
However, she immediately started crying: "I don't know if I can trust you to make the right decision later in life if you just prioritize yourself". "So you just showed your true colours" "You keep changing your opinion, trying to make me understand and accept your reasoning, maybe looking for the right excuse". "You keep saying we are a team but you don't think that in reality. You think you are better than me".
She decided to sleep at another room to think about the relationship.
I personally think that I should just shut-up with such self-reflection and stop babbling stuff, specially when she is tired, because it seems:

1. She just sees those as excuses trying to come up with an argument, so there is no constructive criticism.
2. I say stupid shit trying to understand my own actions that at the end she picks as The Truth
3. Sometimes she just want to chill, no deep talk.

Thoughts? Thanks a lot.
TL;DR: First week living together. I start doing some out-loud self-reflection after messing up where she picks up certain bad things and thinks I'm just excusing myself. She starts questioning the relationship.

Title: ChatGPT: Revolutionizing E-commerce with Personalized Multilingual and Cultural Shopping Experiences
As the digital marketplace continues to expand, e-commerce is facing the next frontier of customer service: personalized multilingual and cultural shopping experiences. With the integration of advanced AI like ChatGPT, online retailers have started offering services that go far beyond the standard one-size-fits-all approach.
Imagine logging into a website and being greeted by a chatbot that not only speaks your language fluently but also understands your cultural context. This is now becoming a reality. ChatGPT, with its sophisticated language models, is powering a new wave of customer interactions that feel remarkably human and incredibly personalized.
For international customers, the benefits are immediately clear. They can shop with ease in their native language, receive product recommendations that resonate with their cultural background, and interact with customer service bots that understand local nuances, idioms, and expressions. This reduces the friction that often accompanies online shopping in a foreign language and leads to a more enjoyable and stress-free experience.
Moreover, these AI-driven services can provide real-time translation and support, breaking down the barriers to accessing global markets. As a result, businesses are not only able to provide personalized shopping experiences but can also expand their reach to a broader audience without the need for extensive multilingual staff.
Behind the scenes, ChatGPT is constantly learning and adapting to individual customer preferences, taking into account past interactions, purchase history, and even sentiments expressed during chat sessions. This allows for a degree of customization in marketing and communication strategies that was previously unattainable.
For e-commerce businesses, the implications of utilizing AI like ChatGPT are profound. With the ability to scale personalized experiences across diverse markets, they can increase customer satisfaction, loyalty, and ultimately, drive sales growth. This digital transformation in e-commerce is not just about technology; it's about creating connections with customers that feel personal and authentic, no matter where they are in the world.
As we forge ahead into this era of enhanced online retail, it's exciting to think of how these personalized, multilingual, and cultural shopping experiences will shape the future of e-commerce. The revolution is just beginning, and the potential for creating deeper, more meaningful customer relationships is immense.

Something I was thinking about when I watched the final moments of the most recent EFAP was Mauler’s observation that the internet content creator landscape used to be different when AVGN clones ruled Youtube and his question of how that shifted into video essayists and commentary channels. I thought about that for a while and I thought of some reasons why the landscape changed that I would like to share.
Managers
Something that people might not be aware of is how many Youtubers have people managing their content in the form of things like setting up brand deals and other services that I am not familiar with. Some of them are very public about what they do, some of them are more private. The important thing is how managers worked in the past.
One thing that I liked about Machinima, ScrewAttack, and Channel Awesome that the creators probably didn’t like is that they forced the older creators to stick to a set schedule of uploads and some of them forced creators to follow a set formula. This meant that the manager would make sure that if a creator uploaded a video every Friday at 2pm, they would have an upload every single Friday at 2pm.
How would this work if the creator wanted to take a week off? Well, the creator would have to have a video to upload in advance. What if the creator wanted to spend 3 weeks on a super-duper big video? Well, they could absolutely do that, but it would be a passion project and they’d still have to follow the set schedule for regular uploads.
This created a content landscape that I actually enjoyed a lot as a consumer because it’s probably the way it should be for reviewers. Every week, or every day in rare cases, a movie reviewer would need to review a different movie, which meant that a reviewer might have to force themselves to sit through a movie they don’t want to see like Fifty Shades Of Grey to give it a chance to subvert their expectations and earn a glowing review, or dig deep to find a new indie movie to review to fill that quota if they really didn’t want to sit through Fifty Shades Of Grey.
The promise of Patreon and creators becoming more independent was that creators would exclusively make videos on topics they wanted to do, but I personally think that was the wrong way to go. I’ve maintained a position that I prefer it when content creators are encouraged, or even forced, to talk about things that they don’t want to talk about because oftentimes that’s when reviewers are most interesting. Some of my favorite Roger Ebert reviews were when he reviewed a children’s movie like Space Jam or Pokemon: The First Movie, and some of my favorite Zero Punctuation reviews are when he has to pick out a random indie game and commit to reviewing it regardless of what the indie game turned out to be, like when he reviewed Hell Pie.
What I think has happened is that the lack of managers has encouraged content creators to upload whatever they want, whenever they want, which has usually translated to videos about ‘easy’ topics, like videos about Disney movies, being uploaded weeks, or even months, apart, which has made the content creation landscape, at least for reviewers, a lot less interesting, and a lot less engaging.
It’s actually one of the reasons why EFAP has been losing my interest lately, because although they upload a stream every week the topics they choose are generally ‘easy’ topics because I genuinely think the hosts don’t have the ability to make an EFAP on something more obscure, or even just ‘difficult’ like Baby Reindeer, very interesting, or they just won’t do streams on those topics because, as Rags said: “This is our show, and we can do whatever the fuck we want.”
Honestly, my hot take is that I liked you better when you couldn’t do whatever the fuck you wanted all of the time. In fact, one of my favorite Rags moments on EFAP was when he clearly didn’t want to be involved with the debate with Twin Perfect.
Sponsors
I remember the Adpocalypse and how Youtubers transitioned to sponsors over relying heavily on ad-revenue. What that event transpired into is that audiences were far more accepting of basically any form of making money that Youtubers would use. Patreon became a very dominant part of Youtube, but sponsors also became extremely common and audiences would even cheer in the comment sections when creators would have their first Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship.
Sponsors are what I want to talk about because I have seen Youtubers show that they have a bunch of videos on their computer that they simply aren’t releasing to the public because they don’t want to upload a single video without a sponsor on their main channel, as well as Youtubers having a second channel where they upload ‘slop’ content without sponsors that most of their audience is usually unaware of or isn’t interested in.
The problem is that the appeal for pretty much all content on Youtube is the personalities of the people creating the content, which is less about the actual personalities and more like “That’s an actual person doing what they actually want to do, that’s so cool,” but that is usually undercut by the presence of sponsors. The fact that Youtubers will sit on a video they made and not upload it unless they can get a sponsor to pay for it always seemed strange to me, especially for Youtubers where the image they present is “I’m just a normal, chill guy who makes Youtube videos for fun,” which needs the caveat of “Uhhhh, I’m actually really poor and if I don’t take this BetterHelp sponsor I can’t afford my rent this month. Please understand, I’m barely making any money on Youtube,” when a sponsor is included in the video.
As weird as this sounds, there are communities of creatives online that don’t expect to ever make any money putting hours, days, weeks, months, and years of work into a project. There are modding communities, bloggers, game developers, fanfiction writers, and artists that only want comments saying “You did a good job,” and Youtubers used to be that way, or they used to present themselves that way before sponsors became as common as they are now.
I don’t say this often enough, but I remember when Youtubers would make videos about not just random pictures on Deviantart, but on fanfictions and pornographic videos. They’d do those videos for things like clout, which is something that I don’t see too often on Youtube.
People might say that there are a bunch of Youtubers that talk about obscure media and Youtubers that make things without any expectation of earning money, which I say “Well, yeah, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” and then I’d point to things like AVGN’s Atari Porn video, and old videos where commentary Youtubers would branch out from their niche to say “Hey, just for fun, we’re going to check out this weird fanfiction story,” or how Yahtzee would include fun projects he created at the end of his Zero Punctuation videos, like how he’d dub over scenes in video games like Half-Life and Painkiller, or how he made a slideshow with Garry’s Mod that depicted a love story between Heavy and Medic.
What I’m saying is that a large part of what made Youtube fun was that not every video from an established creator with 100k subscribers needed to be monetized, or even created with the expectation of being successful or well-received by the community. There was a time when the expectations people had for, say, Jim Sterling was for a high-quality Jimquisition video to be produced and uploaded to the main channel once a week, and for the other days to feature a minimally-edited video where he showed himself trying out a game or reacting to a trailer on his main channel.
In the past I said that I would like it if EFAP would talk about comments and read fanfictions on-stream and I was mocked for it, but I stand by that statement because, although EFAP clearly doesn’t want to do it regularly, when they do read comments on-stream it tends to result in some of the best content because it showcases a side to them that I like. Instead of being totally normal dudes talking to each other about a movie they saw or reacting to a video, they have to use text-to-speech or read the comment using a silly voice or, well, use just a little bit of creativity when reading those comments out-loud.
What I’m kinda saying is that, yes, I think we all like professionally-produced content, and we all accept that sponsors for videos are necessary. But, like, I don’t like how for most successful Youtubers only the monetizable content, often with sponsors, is presented on the main channel, while the other content doesn’t exist, is uploaded to a secondary channel, or is locked behind some kind of paywall.
It just feels strange that these normal, chill, relatable people have gotten themselves into a position where they can earn real money, in some cases a lot of money, to stand in front of a webcam for 10 minutes talking about their favorite movies, chat with a group of friends, or even just play their favorite video game, and in quite a few cases they won’t do any of those things unless there’s a way to monetize it. Imagine how it looks to say “Well, I can’t talk about this cool fanfiction story I read on my main channel to my audience that enjoys my content about that franchise because I can’t get a sponsor for it.”
I wonder if Rags, a regular host of EFAP, appreciates the irony of him criticizing Chris Stuckmann for advocating that filmmakers “Get as much time and money as possible to make their films in the ideal circumstances and for the process to be easy,” when he’s in the position that he’s in where, on EFAP, he has as much freedom as he wants in the ideal circumstances to make money with EFAP, and it’s easy, yet he still will complain if he’s asked to step out of his comfort zone, even a little bit, on stream.
Insecurity
A while ago I had a theory about Cancel Culture which was that usually Cancel Culture is incredibly exaggerated by the audience of the people being canceled, and that most of the people being canceled are perfectly fine. The go-to example is the poor lady who made a joke about AIDS before going to Africa that got off the flight and got fired from her job due to her joke going viral. What people often don’t mention is that she got fired because it’s a terrible look for the company’s PR person to be involved with such a massive PR disaster, and that she got hired at another company a very short time later. Plus, like, she made a racist joke and people were calling her a racist, it wasn’t like she was targeted for absolutely no reason.
My theory is that people think that Cancel Culture absolutely ruins the lives of celebrities and influencers online because of their intense reactions to being canceled. An early example being Seth Macfarlane, who was mocked for his poorly-received hosting of the Oscars and who seemed incredibly bitter about it, making Cancel Culture a plot point in multiple episodes of Family Guy, talking about how bitter he was about it in interviews for years, and even apparently getting emotional support from his friends and family after the ordeal, even going as far as to ask celebrities to say “I liked what he did and I thought he was hilarious, and very handsome.”
What I’m saying is that I think that in the early days of content creation on Youtube the people making videos were more willing to appear on camera and embarrass themselves, like with Spoony screaming at a big gaming event on camera, because even though they were aware of Cancel Culture being a thing they weren’t going to be reduced to tears by someone saying “You’re totally cringe and annoying,” and even went as far as to incorporate those kinds of comments into their video because it was extremely easy content to create. You probably know what I’m talking about, where a creator would read out “This content creator is SOOOOOOO CRINGE,” in a video in a silly voice which you can’t really do as easily with “OMG, I love your content,” and make it entertaining.
That’s changed a lot today with content creators seeming to project an extreme amount of insecurity in every video they’re a part of, which gets even worse in formats like podcasts. It feels like every commentary creator is a chill dude that isn’t offended by anything and only wants to have a good time talking about things they like because, well, that’s what they need to be to avoid being criticized too severely, but they constantly allude to being a very immature and thin-skinned person that is mainly concerned about earning money, to the point where they’ll say “I’m not even having fun producing content at all.”
In college I remember one of my professors saying: “When you were high school kids you were insecure and weren’t confident in your abilities enough to volunteer when you were asked. You’re adults now, and when you graduate you can’t do that at a real job. Part of growing up is being confident in yourself, and if you don’t want to do that, you can always work in fast food where you never need to grow up, while the other adults in your friend group are becoming doctors and construction workers.”
It’s something that I realized with Youtubers which is that a decent amount of them started their careers young and never had to ‘grow up’ the way that my professor said that we needed to. Even with millions of subscribers you still see a lot of Youtubers struggle to commit to any statement they make, and I hear “I’m just a dumb Youtuber who doesn’t know anything and is stupid and socially-awkward and is fat and smells bad,” too many times from rich and successful people.
The thing is, when you’re a teenager, or you’re in your 20s, that insecurity is charming and relatable because you're trying to find a place in the world and discovering the role that you will fill in society. But, when you’re 30 and your role is “I tell people about the latest internet drama and make references to Spongebob,” or “I talk about Star Wars for hours at a time,” even if you make $2 million every day there’s likely a part of you that says: “I don’t like who I am. I don’t like what I do for a living. Yes, I’m rich, but I don’t like why I’m rich, and I don’t like my audience.”
I think that this insecurity leads to people trying to make their content more ‘mature’, but the way they do it isn’t by presenting themselves as a more confident person, or by making a clear separation between the personality in their content and their actual personality so that they can have a good work/life balance, it’s by creating the same content with very superficially mature elements. So, you end up with the video essayists of the past that gained fame by describing the events of a movie and then giving their opinion on whether they liked or disliked it doing the same thing but with quotes from smart people, like Socrates, and making conclusions like “Some people are gonna like this movie, some people are going to hate it. The important thing is that everyone involved with this movie tried really hard and had fun.”
The thing is, teenagers and 20-year-olds get value from a relatable person that comes across as an insecure loser who is too afraid to take a proper stance on anything to commit to a statement. When someone is actually mature they find more value in someone who is willing to do a good job and defend the job that they did, even if they’re like Neil Breen who thinks they did a good job but clearly did a terrible job. A 20-year-old might declare that Twin Perfect’s debate with EFAP wasn’t embarrassing because he was just being himself or something, but a 40-year-old might not tell Twin Perfect that the debate was embarrassing, but they would no longer respect him, and I imagine a lot of 40-year-olds don’t respect a lot of Youtube video essayists because of how eager they seem to be to engage in self-deprecation.
Conclusion
Despite everything that I’ve said, I do think that the content landscape on Youtube is generally ‘better’ than it was in, say, 2010. We weren’t getting a 4+ hour video by The Little Platoon about Rebel Moon, for instance, in 2010.
What I would compare modern Youtube and classic Youtube to is the 1970s movie scene vs. the 1980s movie scene, which Quentin Tarantino has labeled as “The worst period in movie history,” which the EFAP crew have pushed back on.
The thing is, in the early 80s we got Blade Runner, in the same way that nowadays we got the 4+ hour Little Platoon video, but the theatrical release of that film was famously sabotaged by the company that wanted Harrison Ford to provide voiceovers for the film that ‘ruined’ it, or at least, ruined the ending of the movie.
Throughout the 80s films were made which satisfied audiences more than films from the 70s did because Spielberg was producing hugely successful films that are still highly regarded, but there was also a bunch of shady practices going on and a bunch of notoriously poor studio decisions made in order to appeal to a wide demographic, such as the fiasco with Supergirl and Masters Of The Universe, or changing the ending of Brazil.
In the 1970s we not only got more challenging films, but there was also a thriving independent cinema scene that gave us Death Race 2000, Eraserhead, THX-1138, and Duel. There was also Jaws, Star Wars, and A Clockwork Orange, which were big-budget movies that took serious creative risks that paid off immensely which just wouldn’t happen in the 1980s, or would happen very rarely.
I think that I do prefer Youtube back in, say, 2015-2017 when it seemed like we generally got the best of both worlds, challenging content about a diverse range of subjects with production values comparable to what we have now.
To close this, I would like to include a paraphrased interaction I saw on a podcast featuring a pretty big Youtuber that I think illustrates why Youtube has changed in the way that it has.
Youtuber: Look, I don’t need to work as hard on my videos now because not every video needs to be an event. I just want to take it easy now, pump out a video whenever I feel like it, get paid by the sponsors, and then spend time with my family, is that so wrong?
Host: It kind of is. I know your audience of teenagers will be like “He just wants to spend time with his family, dude, have a heart,” but a lot of Youtubers, especially younger Youtubers look up to you for inspiration. If you’re in that position and your attitude is “I’m going to half-ass every video that I make from now on and if anyone calls my content lazy I’ll use my 8-year-old daughter as a shield against criticism,” that’s the attitude that a lot of young Youtubers are going to have. They’re going to half-ass their content and when criticized, they’re going to find their own excuse, like “I have a kid now,” or “I have to eat,” or something.
Youtuber: That’s not my fault, though. I never asked to be a role model.
Host: That’s not how that works. You don’t get to decide whether or not people look up to you, have expectations of you, and emulate your approach to content creation. You only release 2-3 videos a year, and with your status every video should be a major event, but instead every video is half-assed, as you admitted, and then you use your daughter as an excuse for why you don’t put as much effort into your content as you used to. I think you need to have someone in your life, like a friend, that actually makes you feel some shame for your content and encourages you to do better, rather than your social circle being composed of supportive people like your family and the people who pay you through Patreon.
Host 2: He did have that. He fired him two years ago, remember?
Host: Oh, yeah, you fired your friend, or made him quit, whatever the story was. Did that not make you feel bad at all?
Youtuber: Friendships end, that’s just life.
Host: That’s the attitude that I hate that comes across in your content. You can’t just brush aside everything and bumble through life, except if you’re an internet personality, apparently.
Host 2: It worked for the MCU.
Host: It’s not working for the MCU anymore, though, and it isn’t working as well for this Youtuber. It’s probably going to get worse and when he decides to do more work and make better videos, like he used to do, it’s probably going to be too late, or he’ll need to make really good videos to get the views he once did.
Youtuber: My videos are really good, though.
Host: You admitted to half-assing them.

My name is Luyan, I was born in April 1970, in the village of Qingtaipao, Jinzhou City, China. My father was an electrical technician in a nearby brick factory. Mom was a farmer.
One day in September 1971, A guest came to our home, whom my father called Old Brother Liu from Shenyang (1). Dad said to mom: “Troupe Leader Liu knows physiognomy, and I want him to have a look our Luyan." Mom was impatient. Dad added: "Troupe Leader Liu is not a stranger, you should be more enthusiastic! he said, ‘He should not have Luyan seen him, otherwise it won't work'.” Mom and Dad went out of the bedroom. The three of them were whispering in the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu asked about my birth date.
https://preview.redd.it/pqfqha639v1d1.jpg?width=1528&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=25c81882fd0189d4814c5f6975993f188cd287ec
Note 1, at this time, he was the deputy chief of the Northeast Military Region's Cultural Troupe, about 40 years old, a division officer. He is commonly referred to in this book as Troupe Leader Liu. Before and after this story, I couldn't hear his voice. He spoke in ancient Han; I heard what they were doing from my father's explanation to my mother.

2

Troupe Leader Liu said he wanted to see me and wrinkled the curtain between the kitchen and the bedroom. I didn't see him. Dad explained to mom what he said, "That wantonness he's sitting on, the high beam nose to forehead, is a monk's fate, no marriage life."
"What does that mean, no marriage? He can't get married for the rest of his life?" Mom asked.
After dad inquired with Troupe Leader Liu, explained to mom: "It is possible to get married, but the marriage is not happy or long-lasting."
Mom got upset after hearing that and came inside. My dad and Troupe Leader Liu were talking outside. After a while, Dad came into the bedroom and said to mom, "Why did you just leave!"
Mom replied: "He's godly! Who believes that nowadays."
Dad said: "People can see that, and you're not happy to hear it! He also told me that he was just speaking straight from his heart according to what the ancient books say, just directly speaking what he deemed truth. You shouldn’t be like that! If you don't believe, it's okay to just listen! You come out and talk together!"
Mom followed Dad out, asking as she walked: "What is it again?"
In the kitchen, Dad said to Mom: "Troupe Leader Liu said that his eldest daughter, Jianjun Liu (Eve Liu), is a sky fate (Goddess fate), gifted and smart, but also has a destined bad marriage life. He wants to betroth her to our Luyan; says the two are quite compatible. By tying them together as a pair, both of their bad marriage destinies will be broken."
Mom replied: "Look at his appearance! What can his daughter look like!"
Dad said: "That's just saying, his family is well off. Besides, his appearance is not good, his wife might be pretty!"
Mom said: "His family is doing well now. In this society, twenty years later, who knows what will happen!"
Dad said: "It's not good to refuse someone's offer. Besides, this is just a saying, in the future, the two children will become a couple or not, is the matter of the two of them. Now, we are trying to break Luyan’s bad marriage fate!"

3 Blindfolding

A little later, Dad and Troupe Leader Liu returned to the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu said, "If I'm right, the boy will cry as soon as he sees me; however, he can only see me this one time."
Mom was in the back, and when she heard that, said, "There's that! Let's try it then! It won't hurt to see him once anyway."
They arranged the subsequent experiment in a whisper. Troupe Leader Liu added, “Then I'll blindfold him.”
Dad and mom both said they didn't understand.
Troupe Leader Liu said, “Oops! I just remembered that I can't let him see me again in the future!” After thinking for a while, he added, “It's okay! I'll arrange for someone to uncover the blindfold later.”
Mom said unhappily, "Why it doesn't matter!"
Dad smiled and said, "We don't understand, but if Troupe Leader Liu said it doesn't matter, then it doesn't matter!"
At that time, I was sitting on the bed in the bedroom; a man came in and walked straight into the inner room. Soon I forgot about it. Suddenly, he came out and walked directly toward me face to face, his face bloodless and expressionless. My mind exploded at the sight, before I could react. He floated back to the center of the house floor, and quickly turned toward the kitchen and out. Frightened, I crawled desperately toward the southeast of the bed, howling!
https://preview.redd.it/pdjyyt889v1d1.jpg?width=2024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=163f3f013bc9ef146f5f8b8976698efdde776532
Note 3, this paragraph describes the first step of the “Flesh Eye Through”: He approached me quickly, and as I watched, I felt as if the camera lens were focusing quickly, and my head felt as if it were going to explode. The shock caused me to fall in “children neurodevelopmental disorder”. One symptom of this disorder is visual impairment, which the ancients said blindfolded the eyes. The process of Revelation is in section 2.8; chapter 3 discussed more about the process of making “Flesh Eye Through”. Illustrations 1-3, left, are of ancient Mexican origin and represent the third step of the Flesh Eye Through practice, which Huitzilopochtli is lecturing to his godson. Figure 2 shows Tlaloc, whose eyes, in author my own opinion, are the ancient Mexican description of "non-dazzle" feature of the eyes. Figure 3 is a bronze mask unearthed at Sanxingdui in China, in author my own opinion, that is a description of the eyes of the “Flesh Eye Through” as “touching eyes”, i.e., the person who sees it may have the feeling of "being touched”, "being electrocuted".

In the kitchen, mom was surprised and said: "Oops! Really crying! What to do!"
Dad said, "We agreed, you go in and comfort him!"
Mom ran into the house and shouted, "What's wrong? What's wrong?"
I crawled to the edge of the bed and hugged mom, crying. Dad also came in.
Mom said angrily, "He was scared! We were both away and suddenly he saw a stranger. Look! Oh! My God! His hairs are standing on end! He scared the kid!"
Dad said, "Troupe Leader Liu asked you to ask."
Mom asked, "What? Ah! What's wrong? Tell mom, what's going on?"
I just, “Woo, woo!” gesticulated and couldn't speak.
Mom muttered angrily, "Just scared! This can't even speak anymore!” Mom stroked my head, and continually said, “All right! Ok! Tell mom, what did you see?”
I replied, "Man! Woo! Woo!”, gesturing with my hands.
Mom said to me, "Ah! A man came in and then went out again. It's okay, your dad and I know about it!"

4 Marriage Contract is sealed.

Dad went to the kitchen, came back a while later, and said to mom, "Troupe Leader Liu went out and asked us to discuss the two children's affairs."
Mom said, "Like you said, it's not a big deal. How much does he want?"
https://preview.redd.it/6c0t36wc9v1d1.jpg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=283bf64e30a17faa985b77f22065644d37549c29
Dad said, “He didn't say anything about money! It isn’t about money, is it?”
Mom said, "It's better to ask."
The three of them were talking in the kitchen. Troupe Leader Liu said, "Then the marriage is settled! There's no need for any money. This matter also concerns my girl! It's also my business, so I'll make the law (do the magic)."
Dad asked, "What should we do then?"
Troupe Leader Liu said, "I'll tell you later. While you were discussing this matter, I did something outside. Now, half of their Fates have been broken. The rest of the “Making Laws” (western similar words: to do magic) will be done outside somewhere in the future, might not in your house."
Dad said, "It's great that little Luyan will be able to get married in the future! Good Job! It’s all thanks to big brother's hard work!”

5 Vision Test

Some days later, my dad had just returned from work and was talking to my mom. The bedroom opening in my house is about 6.5 meters by 3.3 meters; however, I was surrounded by white fog and couldn't see them. Mom said: "Eve Liu gives gift to Luyan! Quickly let him have a look!”.
https://preview.redd.it/luq5sicg9v1d1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be6924f7c175eb6dcef80cd756888c002907a3f4
When I crawled very close to my dad, saw the two toys he brought back: a yellow plastic gyro and a red ornate stick with spots of various colors. As I recall now, at that time, I could see a place 0.5m away and 0.9m in diameter, surrounded by white fog (note 5, this is a symptom of children neurodevelopmental disorder). I could only see half the width of my dad's body, not my mom. It is now estimated that I can't be more than 1.4m away from mom.
Mom said to Dad, "Looks like the kid has an eye problem! Getting down that close to see!"

6 Eve Liu

Another day, I was sitting on the bed in our bedroom, and my father said to my mother with a smile, “The other guy, that who, went to Shenyang and saw the Troupe Leader Liu. His family is doing well. I even asked him about his big girl (i.e., Eve Liu). How old is she!? She runs around, is not afraid of strangers, talks to people when she sees them, recites poems, sings songs, and can-do arithmetic within 100.”
Mom replied, “You still remember! She goes to a daycare center or kindergarten! I've heard that's where people are taught. What does that kid look like?”
Dad replied, "That I didn't ask."
Mom laughed and said, “You hid it from me!" Turning to me and said, "This little man, has a wife in the big city. In the future, after we go to school, we'll study hard and be better than her, we look down her! We're not going to climb up that high branch!”
Dad said, “Why don't you know? I couldn't ask. All he said was that the little girl was so smart, not afraid of strangers, and ran around the front and back yards. Such a little girl! Who can say she looks ugly!?”
Mom went into the inner room and stopped talking. At that time, I really wanted to listen. Mom noticed and said to Dad, “Little Luyan probably understands this! As soon as we talked Eve Liu, he stared and concentrated, listening very carefully!"
It seems that by this time, my eyesight had returned to near normal.
The End

So the past 6 months have been the wildest rollercoaster ride of my life. More like a horror movie. Back in November 2023, a woman I used to see (but recently broke up with) pretended she was pregnant, lying to me first and then to my family. She was convincing and had pics of the positive test (belonging to one of her sisters-in-law, as I later found out), and thought she wouldn't lie about it because I never knew her to lie before and thought she would be crazy to lie about such a huge thing in our conservative culture & religious community. Well it turns out that's exactly what she was.
I was pressured/threatened to marry her, and felt it as my responsibility, because that's how you patch it up in our community.
But I found out she wasn't pregnant, from her messages with her best friend on her phone and then a lot of questioning. There were many more manipulations to follow over the months, one of the biggest ones being her previous marital history and her age - she pretended she was 28 but according to her passport she's 40! She later claimed she's actually 28, or 29, or 31 (different dates in different conversations). So with that and everything else from the very beginning, I don't know what to believe anymore. Oh, and the fact that I didn't even want the marriage in the first place.
I tried to divorce her many times, but she constantly threatened me with either her family/brothers or with suicide.
Long story short, and skipping over many details, I tried to make things work between us a few times but it kept on breaking down. Eventually one crazy night where she was round my & my family's place, she hounded me for almost the whole night about me not having sex with her (at this point I had just stopped) and my father had to even get involved and calm her down, warning he would call the police because of her harassment.
She wasn't allowed back in our house and we basically ignored her calls for a couple of days until things calmed down. But then the unexpected happened: she reported ME to the police alleging that I had raped her multiple times (ironic considering she was pressuring me for sex), when I had never dome anything non-consensual with anyone in my entire life. I was arrested and detained for a day while being interrogated and examined before let out on bail.
It turns out she then dropped the case, furiously shouting at the police for arresting me and apparently now launching legal action against them. Bizarre, what did she think would happen when reporting rape?
She has since begged for my forgiveness and for me to take her back, but I don't have the slightest desire to do so. I don't seek revenge and I can even forgive her, but I just want peace of mind and for her to get out of my life.
She's claimed numerous times since then that she would accept my decision even to divorce, but then when I brought it up yet again recently (with an intermediate mutual friend present - I ain't meeting her alone) she denied it and insists on staying with me.
My dilemma is this: I suspect she likely has borderline personality disorder (BPD) based on a lot of symptoms, and her mental state has apparently deteriorated. If I divorce her, I fear she might kill or harm herself, and that would be on my head. Alternatively she could even reopen the rape allegations case and I could get rearrested. Or she could at the very least set her family on me or get some type of revenge (for what I don't know).
Either way it could get messy. If anyone has any advice on the next steps, feel free. Otherwise it's been great finally venting

Hello!
What's with the culture of narcing on your neighbors in De Pere? Apparently you can't even walk a dog in a park without some Karen threatening to call the city? I've never lived somewhere so uninviting and wish I had known this before moving here. Is this a common thing or just this one person who doesn't have a life?

So the past 6 months have been the wildest rollercoaster ride of my life. More like a horror movie. Back in November 2023, a woman I used to see (but recently broke up with) pretended she was pregnant, lying to me first and then to my family. She was convincing and had pics of the positive test (belonging to one of her sisters-in-law, as I later found out), and thought she wouldn't lie about it because I never knew her to lie before and thought she would be crazy to lie about such a huge thing in our conservative culture & religious community. Well it turns out that's exactly what she was.
I was pressured/threatened to marry her, and felt it as my responsibility, because that's how you patch it up in our community.
But I found out she wasn't pregnant, from her messages with her best friend on her phone and then a lot of questioning. There were many more manipulations to follow over the months, one of the biggest ones being her previous marital history and her age - she pretended she was 28 but according to her passport she's 40! She later claimed she's actually 28, or 29, or 31 (different dates in different conversations). So with that and everything else from the very beginning, I don't know what to believe anymore. Oh, and the fact that I didn't even want the marriage in the first place.
I tried to divorce her many times, but she constantly threatened me with either her family/brothers or with suicide.
Long story short, and skipping over many details, I tried to make things work between us a few times but it kept on breaking down. Eventually one crazy night where she was round my & my family's place, she hounded me for almost the whole night about me not having sex with her (at this point I had just stopped) and my father had to even get involved and calm her down, warning he would call the police because of her harassment.
She wasn't allowed back in our house and we basically ignored her calls for a couple of days until things calmed down. But then the unexpected happened: she reported ME to the police alleging that I had raped her multiple times (ironic considering she was pressuring me for sex), when I had never dome anything non-consensual with anyone in my entire life. I was arrested and detained for a day while being interrogated and examined before let out on bail.
It turns out she then dropped the case, furiously shouting at the police for arresting me and apparently now launching legal action against them. Bizarre, what did she think would happen when reporting rape?
She has since begged for my forgiveness and for me to take her back, but I don't have the slightest desire to do so. I don't seek revenge and I can even forgive her, but I just want peace of mind and for her to get out of my life.
She's claimed numerous times since then that she would accept my decision even to divorce, but then when I brought it up yet again recently (with an intermediate mutual friend present - I ain't meeting her alone) she denied it and insists on staying with me.
My dilemma is this: I suspect she likely has borderline personality disorder (BPD) based on a lot of symptoms, and her mental state has apparently deteriorated. If I divorce her, I fear she might kill or harm herself, and that would be on my head. Alternatively she could even reopen the rape allegations case and I could get rearrested. Or she could at the very least set her family on me or get some type of revenge (for what I don't know).
Either way it could get messy. If anyone has any advice on the next steps, feel free. Otherwise it's been great finally venting

Hello!
What's with the culture of narcing on your neighbors here? Apparently you can't even walk a dog in a park without some Karen threatening to call the city? I've never lived somewhere so uninviting and wish I had known this before moving here. Is this a common thing or just this one person who doesn't have a life?

I already know this is going to be a controversial opinion but I really hope this turns into a discussion than anything else. I LOVE the fact that when the show was announced that it was going to be an Asian/Indigenous cast. It’s something that happens so rarely in America and when it does there does tend to be a large amount of Wasian actors part of the projects. I was hoping for people to be kind of more open and forthcoming on how their cultures and such impacted them and their way of growing up. You see actors of other minorities talk about these things or people in their communities that inspire them. The only person who’s really made an effort to connect with their community is Kiawentiio. No one else seems to speak their language, know about their culture or have any interest in talking about their Asian-ness or in Asian spaces closely aligned with their community. Then I realised a lot of the actors don’t seem to know or speak a lot of their own languages/cultures. The only thing really is that we look somewhat similar. Then the project kinda felt empty, that there wasn’t like a shared culture or anything like when other communities have film projects. Maybe I expected too much.

呪われたテクニック:ギャンブラーのガーディアン (Cursed Technique: Gambler's Guardians)

The Gambler's Guardians CT is a shikigami technique that employs the use of chance and a deck of cards to summon guardians to combat opponents. The user cannot choose which shikigami is summoned as the medium between summoning these shikigami is a deck of cards that the user always has. The user may withhold these cards to be used as a later date or to lead to the use of the user's DE.

Drawbacks Of Gambler's Guardians

1. Due to its unpredictability, you may not draw the right card for the situation or even be unable to summon a shikigami at all.
   
2. It's a very risky, yet powerful technique as the cards must physically be drawn for the shikigami to be summoned.
   
3. All the shikigami's main weakness is fire as they will become a pile of ash in a matter of seconds [as this is the main and almost only weakness for all the shikigami, it will not be repeated and only shikigami specific weaknesses will be mentioned going forward].
   

呪われた道具:プレイヤーの野望 (Cursed Tool: Player's Ambition)

The Player's Ambition Cursed Tool is a tool that is created directly from the user's CE. It is tied to the user's CE and can always be created again by the user whenever it is destroyed. The cards in this deck are extremely durable as if made of a titanium alloy while still retaining its flexibility. These cards can be very useful for other Sorcerers as the deck always has a full suit of cards [that never repeat until all have been used once] that can cause a lot of damage. As for the user, these cards serve as both the medium and a powerful offensive tool for combat. However, just like modern decks, two jokers have been placed. These two jokers are required for the user to activate their DE, if the user does not have a DE then these two jokers are used as diversions to trick or further damage opponents. When the shikigami is summoned, the card drops to the card and expands to the required size for the shikigami to exit the card as if it's a portal. Both the size and the body of the shikigami depends on how quickly it exits the card.

ギャンブラーのガーディアン:エース (Gambler's Guardians: Ace)

The Ace shikigami is a shikigami that helps smooth the flow of the user's CE and increase the user's CE output. The shikigami is in the form of a large skinny robed figure that bears the symbol of the card that is drawn [A spade for the Ace Of Spades, a heart for the Ace Of Hearts and so on]. Aceis quite physically powerful and smart as it will get very creative with its attack and almost never do something in the literal sense. The Ace is extremely lanky and has arms that almost drag on the ground on the floor. The boost from this shikigami lasts for a varying amount of time depending on which Ace is drawn. The Ace takes advantage of its long arms and powerful enhancement boosting abilities to quickly attack in swiping strikes from a distance. Ace is the manifestation of the user's grief and regret of indulging in their addiction as they have lost the love and warmth of those who were close, yet pushed away.

ギャンブラーのガーディアン:スペードのエース (Gambler's Guardians: Ace Of Spades)

The Spades variation of the Ace shikigami can be seen as the more base version of the Ace as it still retains all regular details aforementioned, but with the added detail of skin as white as snow and hands the size of a shovel’s blade. The enhancement ability aforementioned is not changed much as it still can enhance the flow of CE in the user and boost the overall strength of itself. Although it can now enhance the durability of different objects to the level of a titanium alloy.

Gambler's Guardians: Ace Of Hearts

The Hearts variation of Ace sees some very drastic changes when compared to the Spade variation. The Ace Of Hearts can be seen with the same snow white skin, but this time it seems to have brought red outlines where its nonexistent veins should be. These “veins” are visible all along its body. The Ace Of Hearts no longer smooths the flow of the user's CE, but instead is able to reverse some damages to both it and the user. The Ace Of Hearts takes advantage of this healing factor with its higher amount of agility, but this healing factor and agility come with the loss of strength. The Ace Of Hearts is much weaker and not suited for close hand to hand combat, but instead will use debris from the fight to throw at the opponents while at points jumping towards the user to heal them. The Ace Of Hearts is able to climb up buildings extremely quickly and is another very useful part of the user's chance filled arsenal.

Gambler's Guardians: Ace Of Diamonds

The Ace Of Diamonds is the more defensive variation and it will always put its life at bay to keep its master safe. It is much more bulky than its previous variations and uses this bulky-ness to shield the user with its body. The Ace Of Diamonds has the same snow white skin and the same blood red “veins”, but with the added factor of its major difference in size when compared to the other variations. The Ace Of Diamonds is also the most physically powerful variation as it can throw things like cars with ease, possibly even buses if it tried. This variation of Ace can reinforce its own skin to that of diamonds, at the cost of being unable to apply any boosts to others.

Gambler's Guardians: Ace Of Clubs

The Ace Of Clubs is the much more offensive variation of Ace as it trades away some of its high durability to gain more agility and muscle strength. Combining this increase in agility and muscle strength with its newfound aggressiveness and large hood, it can quickly apply large amounts of pressure onto anything as it mercilessly attacks the target. The Ace Of Clubs will also use it's surroundings heavily to apply further pressure, whether that be from grabbing and throwing the target into something, or picking up something and using it as a weapon.

Gambler’s Guardians: Two

These shikigami mainly focus on supporting the user as all of their variations focus on buffing their capabilities in some form, whether that be applying a protective CE shield over the user or simply healing the user. However, these shikigami are very weak and require something to protect them or else little value will be gained from summoning them. The shikigami almost look like [biblically accurate] angels about the size of a bike, the only difference is that they are made purely of the card they were summoned with, hence why their durability is so low and can very easily be shut down.

Gambler's Guardians: Two Of Spades

The Two Of Spades variation is [just like Ace Of Spades] the base variation of Two. The Two Of Spades summons two smaller shikigami that both can apply barriers of CE onto objects or even people. These barriers are not the strongest and can barely survive a single hit from something such as a grade 2 and above, but they can allow for some defense especially as it can tank at least a single hit which can potentially save the user's life.

Gambler's Guardians: Two Of Hearts

The Two Of Hearts variation allows the shikigami to be able to reverse damage to anything, but not the position [ex. If a wall was knocked down and shattered, these shikigami can reverse the damage it sustained to an extent, but not being it back to its upright position unless they somehow lift it back up] to a certain extent. No, these shikigami can NOT reverse death, the worst injury they can reverse on a human being or animal is a broken bone [unless the bone is completely shattered]. Anything more can potentially cause more pain for the user while killing the shikigami in the process.

Gambler's Guardians: Two Of Diamonds

The Two Of Diamonds variation can apply a much more durable shield than Two Of Spades, at the cost of its own speed and tapping into the user's CE reserves. This allows for a much stronger shield that can repair itself as long as the user’s CE reserves are full. These shields can survive multiple hits from a semi-grade 1 and potentially a few hits from a grade 1 sorcerer or curse. However, if the shikigami attempts to keep up the shield for too long, it will overload itself and burn up in a flash of CE. The CE used to summon these shikigami will be returned if this happens.

Gambler's Guardians: Two Of Clubs

The Two Of Clubs is the fastest variation of Two, but at the cost of its own durability. These shikigami often will apply a shield onto itself [rather than the user] and fly into a target to cause physical damage, taking advantage of its shield and speed. However, because it is so weak durability wise, so are its shields. Its shields cannot survive more than 2 hits from most sources without shattering. Even though these shields are weak, the shattering effect that happens when they break can potentially harm others [this includes the user].

Gambler's Guardians: Three

Three is a trio of shikigami that look similarly to the finger bearer cursed spirit, but Three are pure white with either black or red accents depending on which card was used to summon them and the symbol of the card on its back. They are also smaller than the finger bearer, reaching a height of about 4’4. Three is more so focused on being a supporting attacker to overwhelm an opponent, rather than taking the attention off of the user [with the exception of Three Of Clubs]. Three is very much average in all ways, but makes up for it with its speed, being able to quickly overwhelm a target.

Gambler's Guardians: Three Of Spades

The Three Of Spades is very fast and can even sneak up on opponents as it is able to dig its claws into objects and hold itself on ceilings or walls. Three Of Spades is very overwhelming as it takes advantage of its speed and strength to even break through walls to catch an opponent off guard, but will ultimately choose to protect the user even if it means death. Most of the time, Three Of Spades will stick closely to the user, but in a hidden position where they cannot be easily noticed while even hiding their own CE to an extent.

Gambler's Guardians: Three Of Hearts

The Three Of Hearts shikigami is the same looking shikigami, the only difference is that one of them specializes in physical attacks, one specializes in psychological confusion, and the last specializes in attacking the soul. The one that specializes in physical attacks is slightly above average in strength, speed and durability, but can grow claws on both its hands and feet to attempt to cause bleeding. The one that specializes in psychological confusion can release a gas that, if inhaled, will cause the victim to have hallucinations that could go from minor to severe depending on how much of the gas is inhaled. Finally, the one that specializes in attacking the soul is below average in physical strength and durability, but makes up for it with its speed and ability to cause irreversible damage.

Gambler's Guardians: Three Of Diamonds

The Three Of Diamonds are much more durable and physically powerful and the form they take represents that. They have a lot more visible muscle on them and the accents are less tattoos and actually are an unknown metallic material that is highly durable. This armour does not cover its whole body, but it does allow protection on the shikigami's arms, legs, and partially their chest. The armour is on these parts as it is a physical attacker rather than using some other ranged attack. The Three Of Diamonds are also a bit bigger than that of the rest of the variations of Three, reaching a height of 4’11.

Gambler's Guardians: Three Of Clubs

The Three Of Clubs variation can all merge together, forming a much larger and stronger shikigami, reaching the height of 5’8. Each summoned shikigami has a different part of the Clubs symbol on their back, when the three parts decide to form or the user tells them to merge, they become the powerful shikigami as mentioned before with the finished symbol of Clubs. More info on this combination will be stated below, for now information on Three Of Clubs will be talked about. The Three Of Clubs focuses more on hard hitting attacks, rather than stealthy ambushes. It loses its stealth, but instead it has a new merging gimmick and slightly increased strength and durability when compared to Three Of Spades.

Gambler's Guardians: Three Of A Kind

The Three Of A Kind shikigami is the result of when all three shikigami of Three Of Clubs merge together. The Three Of A Kind is very powerful and uses the same fighting style that the user does with the added benefits of a massive strength, durability and speed boost. The Three Of A Kind can apply a lot of pressure and can even revert back into the three separate shikigami it was before on command to dodge a potential hit from an enemy. However, the longer the shikigami are in this merged form, the weaker they will get as they have a time limit that is represented by the tattoo of the clubs on its back slowly fading from the top of the clubs down. It does slowly regenerate while not in the merged state and when it isn't even summoned. Trying to push past this state can allow a few extra seconds of strength, but ultimately will end with this shikigami to burn up in a flash of CE and the card used to summon it will be burned from the deck.

Gambler's Guardians: Four

Gambler's Guardians: Four Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Four Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Four Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Four Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Five

Gambler's Guardians: Five Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Five Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Five Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Five Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Six

Gambler's Guardians: Six Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Six Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Six Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Six Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Seven

Gambler's Guardians: Seven Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Seven Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Seven Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Seven Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Eight

Gambler's Guardians: Eight Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Eight Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Eight Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Eight Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Nine

Gambler's Guardians: Nine Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Nine Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Nine Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Nine Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Ten

Gambler's Guardians: Ten Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Ten Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Ten Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Ten Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Jack

Gambler's Guardians: Jack Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Jack Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Jack Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Jack Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: Queen

Gambler's Guardians: Queen Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: Queen Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: Queen Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: Queen Of Clubs

Gambler's Guardians: King

Gambler's Guardians: King Of Spades

Gambler's Guardians: King Of Hearts

Gambler's Guardians: King Of Diamonds

Gambler's Guardians: King Of Clubs

Extension Technique: Full House

This Extension Technique allows the user to overload their cards with CE, allowing the capabilities of the shikigami to be heightened [ex. More durability, faster, stronger, special gimmicks have a stronger influence, ect], but burning the card after being used. When this happens, the card is less likely to be pulled again or even just not even to be pulled from that deck ever again, forcing the user to attempt to artificially create another deck they can use from their CE.

Domain Expansion: Joker's Last Cabaret

When this DE is activated, both the user and the opponents will be placed in the midst of a casino filled with different cards flying everywhere extremely fast [fast enough to cut the skin on a human being]. As soon as one of these cards draws blood and they land flat on a surface [face down], the corresponding shikigami of that card will be summoned with the person the card had hit as their target. These shikigami will not target any other person until the original target is felled. Once that target is defeated the shikigami will explode into a flurry of cards, allowing for more shikigami to be summoned. The user can concentrate CE to slightly direct the cards into a target, but then these cards that were directed turn into blank cards that have no other use than as a physical weapon rather than an intermediary. The Joker cards will burn up after this DE is summoned, meaning this DE can never be used again unless the user can focus enough CE onto another set of Joker cards.

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What do I make of this? I feel so uncomfortable. Despite a myth going around that Ram Dass’s death was peaceful, and he emanated light, etc., as I feel one should be able to die if they are true in their practice,
the New Yorker recently published a piece from Christopher Fiorello, caretaker of Ram Dass in his last moments, describing the expression of fear on Ram Dass’s face as he died. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/the-weekend-essay/the-day-ram-dass-died
It saddens me that we have a myth that Ram Dass died peacefully. It is a shared delusion. And the reality that a trained man like him could truly feel this way at death… I don’t know what to make of it. I feel doubt and fear.