Elite pain torture video stream
FunnyVideos!
2008.11.17 02:32 FunnyVideos!
A community of people sharing and enjoying funny videos they have found on the internet. Has a video made you snort your coffee out of your nose from laughter recently? Then post it here for others to do the same!
2011.12.23 20:21 Kiel297 /r/WWEGames
The unofficial hub for discussion of the WWE2K series and any other pro wrestling game out there!
2017.06.20 19:19 fluxeddit Elite The Elite Cryptocurrency
Elite coin is the gaming currency that brings the gaming world and cryptoworld together. We plan to achieve this by integrating Elite into games and allowing users to use Elite as an in-game currency. The idea is to make the process of earning and spending fun for everyone.
2024.05.22 05:21 JFedzor I think I have an extremely will hidden, well coded, virtually undetectable crypto-miner on my PC. What can I do?
First and foremost, I have been dealing with a rather strange stuttering issue since 2019. I've replaced each and every part of my system more than once (bar mechanical drives). The stutter occurs when new assets need to be cached, let's say for example, we load into a multiplayer match of Modern Warfare 3. Sometimes, I will get a few stutters in the first 10-15 seconds of the match, and maybe the odd one or two here as I play. If I run back through the original starting area, the stutters are gone, as those assets are now cached. Eventually they are uncached, and the stutter will re-occur. Similar thing can occur in CS2. Some games are completely unplayable due to this however, Fortnite is a great example: Even with the performance mode, potato graphics, the game stutters every 5-15 seconds, without fail.
In 2020, I upgraded from a GTX 1080, to a RTX 2080Ti. At first, the upgrade knocked my socks off, and performance seemed solid enough, but the stutters were not gone. Ended up selling the card the same year as I wanted a PS5. From then, I borrowed a GTX 980 from my friend, and used that for about a year. As you can imagine, it sucked hard. I played what I could, but the stutter issue remained present throughout. In mid 2021, I bought an RTX 3070, brand new. Upon testing CoD Vanguard, I immediately noticed artifacting, long streaks of a warped texture randomly appearing. This seemed most prominent in that game, and wasn't really happening elsewhere, but the stutter was naturally still present. It's worth noting, that at this time, I had a Ryzen 7 3700x, and I was beginning to become convinced that my chip was damaged or faulty. I used the 3070 for about a year, and sometime towards the end of that, I started getting strange "Out of video memory!" errors when trying to play certain games, especially if I was trying to stream. The issue would also present often when trying to using Adobe Raw in Photoshop, and even when trying to load web pages if I had a lot of stuff happening at once. I ended up selling the 3070 FOR PARTS, as I assumed the video memory was botched. Somebody got a pretty good deal out of me.
I went back to the 980, and surprisingly, the VRAM errors were less frequent, and there was practically no artifacting to speak of, but the same stuttering issue remained. In 2023, I upgraded to a new board, a Ryzen 9 5900x, and a used RTX 2080Ti. This was my last ditch effort, my last hope. As I'm sure you no doubt have guessed, it made zero difference. The 2080Ti was okay at first, but eventually it started artifacting again, random white square grid patterns appearing sparsely during desktop use, and sometimes the odd flickering texture or two when gaming, and of-course, the infamous stutter. The "Out of video memory!" errors also returned, albeit not quite as prominent as before, although a lot of the time, instead of errors, my PC will just automatically shutdown a game I'm playing, with no error to speak of, it just closes as if I alt+f4'd, but this isn't very common. It also throws a random BSOD at me sometimes when trying to launch VR titles, and sometimes I will have to reboot 2-3 times before I'm able to finally get in-game.
Some games tend to run better than others. At the moment, I'm playing through RDR2 for the first time (Love it, btw), and the game runs pretty flawlessly, but I suspect this is because RDR2 is an extremely will optimised title. It does still stutter from time to time, and quite frequently when in large towns such as Saint Denis, but yeah. I am debating upgrading to a 4070 Super, but at this point, dare I even bother?? I don't even know if my 2080ti is botched or not, but an upgrade would be nice regardless.
I've tried:
1.) Reinstalling Windows 10 / 11 (Countless times, fresh installs from USB drive, including one time where I unplugged all other drives, fully formatted my NVME and installed a fresh copy to the system. It of-course, never made a difference. If it is a Crypto miner, I don't know how it's attaching itself to my hardware, but it is.)
2.) Updating BIOS, and changing BIOS settings, including making sure XMP is enabled.
3.) An unspeakable amount of general fixes for stutters and low performance, almost everything you could think of.
4.) Running virus scanners such as Malwarebytes, which always comes up clean (As I said, if it's a miner, it's incredibly well made).
Motherboard: ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING AM4
CPU: Ryzen 9 5900x
GPU: RTX 2080Ti (Generic blower fan design / unbranded)
RAM: 32 GB Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro 3200MHz
PSU: Corsair TX 750M
Please, at this point I am at a total loss. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to outright replace my system, and even if I could, I'd be afraid to transfer anything over.
submitted by JFedzor to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]
In 2020, I upgraded from a GTX 1080, to a RTX 2080Ti. At first, the upgrade knocked my socks off, and performance seemed solid enough, but the stutters were not gone. Ended up selling the card the same year as I wanted a PS5. From then, I borrowed a GTX 980 from my friend, and used that for about a year. As you can imagine, it sucked hard. I played what I could, but the stutter issue remained present throughout. In mid 2021, I bought an RTX 3070, brand new. Upon testing CoD Vanguard, I immediately noticed artifacting, long streaks of a warped texture randomly appearing. This seemed most prominent in that game, and wasn't really happening elsewhere, but the stutter was naturally still present. It's worth noting, that at this time, I had a Ryzen 7 3700x, and I was beginning to become convinced that my chip was damaged or faulty. I used the 3070 for about a year, and sometime towards the end of that, I started getting strange "Out of video memory!" errors when trying to play certain games, especially if I was trying to stream. The issue would also present often when trying to using Adobe Raw in Photoshop, and even when trying to load web pages if I had a lot of stuff happening at once. I ended up selling the 3070 FOR PARTS, as I assumed the video memory was botched. Somebody got a pretty good deal out of me.
I went back to the 980, and surprisingly, the VRAM errors were less frequent, and there was practically no artifacting to speak of, but the same stuttering issue remained. In 2023, I upgraded to a new board, a Ryzen 9 5900x, and a used RTX 2080Ti. This was my last ditch effort, my last hope. As I'm sure you no doubt have guessed, it made zero difference. The 2080Ti was okay at first, but eventually it started artifacting again, random white square grid patterns appearing sparsely during desktop use, and sometimes the odd flickering texture or two when gaming, and of-course, the infamous stutter. The "Out of video memory!" errors also returned, albeit not quite as prominent as before, although a lot of the time, instead of errors, my PC will just automatically shutdown a game I'm playing, with no error to speak of, it just closes as if I alt+f4'd, but this isn't very common. It also throws a random BSOD at me sometimes when trying to launch VR titles, and sometimes I will have to reboot 2-3 times before I'm able to finally get in-game.
Some games tend to run better than others. At the moment, I'm playing through RDR2 for the first time (Love it, btw), and the game runs pretty flawlessly, but I suspect this is because RDR2 is an extremely will optimised title. It does still stutter from time to time, and quite frequently when in large towns such as Saint Denis, but yeah. I am debating upgrading to a 4070 Super, but at this point, dare I even bother?? I don't even know if my 2080ti is botched or not, but an upgrade would be nice regardless.
I've tried:
1.) Reinstalling Windows 10 / 11 (Countless times, fresh installs from USB drive, including one time where I unplugged all other drives, fully formatted my NVME and installed a fresh copy to the system. It of-course, never made a difference. If it is a Crypto miner, I don't know how it's attaching itself to my hardware, but it is.)
2.) Updating BIOS, and changing BIOS settings, including making sure XMP is enabled.
3.) An unspeakable amount of general fixes for stutters and low performance, almost everything you could think of.
4.) Running virus scanners such as Malwarebytes, which always comes up clean (As I said, if it's a miner, it's incredibly well made).
- ) A whole array of other things that I am unable to convey due to being far too tired right now.
Motherboard: ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING AM4
CPU: Ryzen 9 5900x
GPU: RTX 2080Ti (Generic blower fan design / unbranded)
RAM: 32 GB Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro 3200MHz
PSU: Corsair TX 750M
Please, at this point I am at a total loss. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to outright replace my system, and even if I could, I'd be afraid to transfer anything over.
2024.05.22 05:18 Affectionate-Fig4095 LED Video Light Kit, 2800-6500K Dimmable 2-Pack Photography Lighting Kit with Tripod Stand&Phone Holder, Stream Light for Video Recording, Game Streaming, Price $54. For USA. Interested DM Me for Details
 | submitted by Affectionate-Fig4095 to ReviewRequests [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 05:18 TopCoconut7909 meet greg. i drew this becuase i couldnt sleep
some people write lore for their silly little oc's, and greg's my most innocent one, so while gives a sh1t
ANYWAYS what hair should i give Greg? that littler f$$cker cannot stand being a bald dude.
Greg is the representative and very God of anything that consumes human flesh. Greg runs through a forest in he🏒🏒 ranging around 7,000 km in diameter without a way of escaping. He is forced to eat decaying flesh (which in fact tastes like dogshit) to survive and continue its status as an evil deity by another deity. Greg enjoys physical pain more than anything, anyone, no matter if it's a human or animal. Human beings who've been caught in the web of he🏒🏒 has often seen Greg torturing another human being while forcing him to eat decaying matter. This has left them with severe ptsd.
submitted by TopCoconut7909 to OriginalCharacter [link] [comments]
ANYWAYS what hair should i give Greg? that littler f$$cker cannot stand being a bald dude.
Greg is the representative and very God of anything that consumes human flesh. Greg runs through a forest in he🏒🏒 ranging around 7,000 km in diameter without a way of escaping. He is forced to eat decaying flesh (which in fact tastes like dogshit) to survive and continue its status as an evil deity by another deity. Greg enjoys physical pain more than anything, anyone, no matter if it's a human or animal. Human beings who've been caught in the web of he🏒🏒 has often seen Greg torturing another human being while forcing him to eat decaying matter. This has left them with severe ptsd.
2024.05.22 05:17 Affectionate-Fig4095 LED Video Light Kit, 2800-6500K Dimmable 2-Pack Photography Lighting Kit with Tripod Stand&Phone Holder, Stream Light for Video Recording, Game Streaming, Price $54. For USA. Interested DM Me for Details
 | submitted by Affectionate-Fig4095 to AMZreviewTrader [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 05:14 Practical_Oil6898 Disgust is such an interesting emotion
Disgust is such an interesting emotion
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.
submitted by Practical_Oil6898 to ShadowWork [link] [comments]
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.
2024.05.22 05:07 hamdi-ramzi The Best IPTV Service of 2024: Top 5 Trusted Providers
 | Here is the list of the best IPTV services available worldwide. Compare the features and pricing of the top-rated IPTV providers listed in this tutorial and select the top IPTV subscription for your FireStick, Android TV, PC or any other device: submitted by hamdi-ramzi to bestprovider100 [link] [comments] What is IPTV? Internet-based Protocol Television (IPTV) refers to the streaming of TV programs through broadband Internet rather than the traditional cable or satellite. This TV content is streamed to a set-top box. Selecting the best IPTV streams can be challenging because of limited information about the quality of the service. Wea have taken the task of finding the top-rated IPTV service providers that live up to their claims. #1) Best Top Winner YugaTV Great for watching local and international live TV channels, PPV, pay-per-view sporting events, and VOD. https://preview.redd.it/59atidsf9w1d1.jpg?width=1366&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e5f038ed9076aaec7cd0485bb4e544d51c4a174 YugaTV provides a secure payment channel, and with this, you can make payments easily. You can do it without worrying as the security is very high and advanced. There is no risk of getting cheated. It is because your payment is processed through your bank card or PayPal, so there is no risk or scam involved. After making a payment, you just have to wait a few minutes and then you will receive your subscriptions via email. Not only this, Smart IPTV has a buyer-friendly refund policy that allows everyone to buy their services without worrying about their refund. Its prices are also very affordable so everyone can buy it easily. Features
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2024.05.22 05:07 Practical_Oil6898 Disgust is such an interesting emotion
Disgust is such an interesting emotion
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.
submitted by Practical_Oil6898 to Breathtarian [link] [comments]
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.
2024.05.22 05:06 TheJenkka Could someone tell me if my technique is bad?
I've always had trouble running but recently I started playing soccer and this problem became very evident. To the point I can only run for a couple minutes or so before my shin muscles (particularly the tibialis anterior) start hurting bad. It's a dull pain and the more I keep going the more it hurts.
I'll leave this video as an example: https://youtu.be/O6vneIIrglw?si=aTPE1YUYxp3UKcFq
submitted by TheJenkka to AdvancedRunning [link] [comments]
I'll leave this video as an example: https://youtu.be/O6vneIIrglw?si=aTPE1YUYxp3UKcFq
2024.05.22 05:05 AliBabaPlus40 A Waste of Time(lapse)
Ok maybe it's not the most essential feature but why time-lapse videos on Wyzecams are so awful to manage?
Long story short, the easy way to see or save the time-lapse videos you created is by removing the SD card and plugging it to a computer.
In the album session, you need to stay on the download page all the time. You cannot even go to another application otherwise it will cancel the download.
Why can't I ask it to download that event and done? It should understand the request and download it in the background.
And of course it's so slow!
The interface is also the worst, you can barely see the percentage, the video starts playing after finished with no warning.
I really enjoy making weather related time-lapses videos but some of my cameras are a pain to remove the card, then put it back, then reajuste the position...
I don't understand how hard would be to do in a better way, and how nobody in the development team realized how awful it is.
submitted by AliBabaPlus40 to wyzecam [link] [comments]
Long story short, the easy way to see or save the time-lapse videos you created is by removing the SD card and plugging it to a computer.
In the album session, you need to stay on the download page all the time. You cannot even go to another application otherwise it will cancel the download.
Why can't I ask it to download that event and done? It should understand the request and download it in the background.
And of course it's so slow!
The interface is also the worst, you can barely see the percentage, the video starts playing after finished with no warning.
I really enjoy making weather related time-lapses videos but some of my cameras are a pain to remove the card, then put it back, then reajuste the position...
I don't understand how hard would be to do in a better way, and how nobody in the development team realized how awful it is.
2024.05.22 05:04 RobotDestiny Destiny is currently offline
Destiny is currently offline:
See what's coming up on the schedule.
Follow guest appearances, podcasts, and live events with Omniversus.
Catch up on previous streams with the YouTube VODs playlist.
Check out previous videos and debates on the YouTube channel.
Become a loremaster with Last Week on Destiny.
Return to the cult through the unban request
submitted by RobotDestiny to Destiny [link] [comments]
See what's coming up on the schedule.
Follow guest appearances, podcasts, and live events with Omniversus.
Catch up on previous streams with the YouTube VODs playlist.
Check out previous videos and debates on the YouTube channel.
Become a loremaster with Last Week on Destiny.
Return to the cult through the unban request
2024.05.22 05:01 pumpkinjumper1210 Recapitulation practice, done correctly, tougher & more interesting
New practicer sharing experience. Since learning that recapitulation should be done eyes closed, I've adjusted my technique. I found it harder to want to do it - as if I was resisting dredging up memories. Once in I found it easier to recall different scenes of the person. I tried asking myself "how did I feel?" and focus on the feelings that came up.
That's felt a bit like getting slapped in the face with how painfully sad many interactions have been. I don't mean sad like sorrowful, sad as in pathetic, myself or both of us following patterns we think others will approve of without having a sincere desire motivating our behavior.
No teleporting across my house or anything like that. Once saw a tiny, faded pinprick of green light in my eyes closed shortly after putting the blindfold back on so I didn't think much of it - my eyes usually see colors a few minutes after being exposed to light then put in darkness.
Going to keep trying this, this was day 2 of eyes closed recap. 1 hour yesterday, 2 hours today. I used a silk eye mask and eyes closed in a relatively dark room. Got up a few times for water and on returning, added more names to the list. While recapitulating I wouldn't say I noticed a lack of internal dialogue - frequently I would get the internal dialogue and try to interrupt it with a focus on memory. Once while getting water I noticed a stream of thoughts coming out, as if trying to explain or narrate what was going on. Talking to myself, as if I didn't already know what I was experiencing!
Advice welcome, I'm trying to learn.
submitted by pumpkinjumper1210 to castaneda [link] [comments]
That's felt a bit like getting slapped in the face with how painfully sad many interactions have been. I don't mean sad like sorrowful, sad as in pathetic, myself or both of us following patterns we think others will approve of without having a sincere desire motivating our behavior.
No teleporting across my house or anything like that. Once saw a tiny, faded pinprick of green light in my eyes closed shortly after putting the blindfold back on so I didn't think much of it - my eyes usually see colors a few minutes after being exposed to light then put in darkness.
Going to keep trying this, this was day 2 of eyes closed recap. 1 hour yesterday, 2 hours today. I used a silk eye mask and eyes closed in a relatively dark room. Got up a few times for water and on returning, added more names to the list. While recapitulating I wouldn't say I noticed a lack of internal dialogue - frequently I would get the internal dialogue and try to interrupt it with a focus on memory. Once while getting water I noticed a stream of thoughts coming out, as if trying to explain or narrate what was going on. Talking to myself, as if I didn't already know what I was experiencing!
Advice welcome, I'm trying to learn.
2024.05.22 04:57 theblahberzone SPTV streamer slur slip up
Selfless self has been through some stuff lately. Equipment stolen, cavan stolen or mysteriously towed. I would not want to be in his position. I hope he removes himself from the orbit of pearlsnappy. With all he has going on, I wanted to check out his stream and see if there were any updates. And this happened. I plan to do a long form video on this stream. He is giving out the SPTV Foundation number and promoting them. He is a representative. Here is my short that begins to examine this. Honestly, let me know what you think happened here. https://youtube.com/shorts/uV54zDajqUg
submitted by theblahberzone to SPTV_Unvarnished [link] [comments]
2024.05.22 04:53 Famous_Direction8000 Should I see a Rheumatologist?
21M 6'3 220 lbs
Hey everyone, I've been dismissed by primary care for a while. I am thinking to see someone who might evaluate me or run blood work to screen for autoimmune problems.
These are the things that lead me to believe seeing an autoimmune specialist is a good idea:
I've been clinically diagnosed with depression. Recently diagnosed, but I've been struggling for years
Joint pain for many years. I trained heavily in combat sports for years. Docs dismissed my joint pain bc of this, but I experienced these pains before training seriously, and unproportianlly to my peers when in training.
I'm always exhausted. I can never seem to stay awake. At best, on a good day, I can focus for a few hours. I always have crashes that feel like I can't move and have to lay down, feeling sick if I sit up or in a chair, let alone study. I can't het through a movie, study, or even play video games without constantly thinking and fighting exhaustion.
I struggled with these problems even when I was in top athletic shape with a very clean diet.
I don't know if these are good reasons to see a specialist, but I'm honestly struggling to find answers.
Who do I go see, and what do I say and ask for?
Any thoughts are appreciated
Edit: grammar
submitted by Famous_Direction8000 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Hey everyone, I've been dismissed by primary care for a while. I am thinking to see someone who might evaluate me or run blood work to screen for autoimmune problems.
These are the things that lead me to believe seeing an autoimmune specialist is a good idea:
I've been clinically diagnosed with depression. Recently diagnosed, but I've been struggling for years
Joint pain for many years. I trained heavily in combat sports for years. Docs dismissed my joint pain bc of this, but I experienced these pains before training seriously, and unproportianlly to my peers when in training.
I'm always exhausted. I can never seem to stay awake. At best, on a good day, I can focus for a few hours. I always have crashes that feel like I can't move and have to lay down, feeling sick if I sit up or in a chair, let alone study. I can't het through a movie, study, or even play video games without constantly thinking and fighting exhaustion.
I struggled with these problems even when I was in top athletic shape with a very clean diet.
I don't know if these are good reasons to see a specialist, but I'm honestly struggling to find answers.
Who do I go see, and what do I say and ask for?
Any thoughts are appreciated
Edit: grammar
2024.05.22 04:53 Additional_Ad_8934 Help me find where this song that plays in the first 20 seconds is streaming
I've identified the artist and song name but I just cannot find where the song streams. Please help me out. Look at the first 20 seconds of the video
https://www.tiktok.com/@chinesekungfu996/video/7245989852423015688?lang=en
Song: 在哪风雨交ĺŠ
Artist: 李静红
I've also found a song on Youtube that sounds very similar but its not what im looking for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpAzIb026bs
Thanks!
submitted by Additional_Ad_8934 to NameThatSong [link] [comments]
https://www.tiktok.com/@chinesekungfu996/video/7245989852423015688?lang=en
Song: 在哪风雨交ĺŠ
Artist: 李静红
I've also found a song on Youtube that sounds very similar but its not what im looking for.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpAzIb026bs
Thanks!
2024.05.22 04:52 Big-Organization6522 help please read
I have been having all these thoughts about death and stuff and it scares me how young people die. I had just woke up from a nap and have a bad cough and the side of my throat hurts just a little bit. I was scrolling and seen a video of this little boy that died in the hospital after getting rushed in for stomach pains,chest pain and throat pain. It made me insanely sad to see him struggling. But everytime I talk like I need to cough it's like I keep watching my breath and it's scaring me I don't know why I keep having like a cough and after seeing that video I'm getting even more scared i have been living in this fear Pray for me.
submitted by Big-Organization6522 to Christianity [link] [comments]
2024.05.22 04:52 _luish_ Me ajudem a montar um PC
Ultimamente tenho analisado montar um PC um pouco mais "parrudinho" pra me atender sem muita dor de cabeça por um bom perĂodo de tempo (no mĂnimo uns 5/6 anos sem upgrades muito substanciais). NĂŁo tenho nenhuma prática com montagem de PC mas tenho um certo conhecimento sobre peças e pesquisando sobre montei a build abaixo (na faixa dos 5000). A partir disso, tenho algumas dĂşvidas sobre e gostaria da ajuda dos senhores:
Gerado por MEUPC.NET em 21/05/2024 Ă s 22:27
submitted by _luish_ to computadores [link] [comments]
- Esse air cooler vale a pena? O do processador já resolve ou pego um melhor?
- Essa 4060 com 8gb vale a pena ou pego uma outra GPU com mais VRAM (ou mais potente)?
- Alguma sugestão de gabinete melhor (de preferência com fan e ARGB rs)? Tipo aquário é ruim ou não?
- Vale a pena comprar montado pela Kabum (com montagem grátis e garantia porém mais caro) ou compra separado na raça mesmo?
- Qual pasta térmica vale a pena?
| Peça | Selecionado | Preço |
|---|---|---|
| Processador | AMD Ryzen 5 5600 3.5 GHz 6-Core | (R$ 750,03 / R$ 750,03 em Amazon) |
| Placa de vĂdeo | GALAX GeForce RTX 4060 8 GB ST 1-Click OC | (R$ 2.111,10 / R$ 1.899,99 em Kabum) |
| Placa-mĂŁe | Gigabyte B550M Aorus Elite Micro ATX AM4 | (R$ 709,94 / R$ 709,94 em Amazon) |
| MemĂłria | Kingston Fury Beast (Preto) 16 GB (2x8 GB) DDR4-3200 | (R$ 376,40 / R$ 319,99 em Kabum) |
| Armazenamento | Kingston SSD Nv2 1 TB M.2-2280 | (R$ 435,24 / R$ 369,99 em Terabyte) |
| Fonte | XPG Kyber 750W 750 W Certificado 80+ Gold Full-Modular ATX12V | (R$ 588,20 / R$ 499,99 em Kabum) |
| Gabinete | Mancer Goblin (Preto) MicroATX Mid Tower | (R$ 188,22 / R$ 159,99 em Pichau) |
| Cooler do processador | Rise Mode Gamer G800 Hidráulico | (R$ 85,86 / R$ 72,99 em Kabum) |
| Total | R$ 5.244,99 | |
| Total no boleto | R$ 4.782,91 |
2024.05.22 04:50 JumpyJeweler8152 My first build!
Rate my pc parts i made its my first time :D PCPartPicker Part List: https://pcpartpicker.com/list/sksVKX
CPU: Intel Core i5-13600K 3.5 GHz 14-Core Processor ($259.99 @ Amazon)
CPU Cooler: Noctua NH-D15 82.5 CFM CPU Cooler ($109.95 @ Amazon)
Motherboard: Gigabyte B760 AORUS ELITE AX ATX LGA1700 Motherboard ($169.99 @ Amazon)
Memory: G.Skill Flare X5 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-5600 CL30 Memory ($104.99 @ Amazon)
Storage: Crucial P3 500 GB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive ($51.60 @ Amazon)
Storage: Crucial P3 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive ($116.99 @ Amazon)
Video Card: XFX Speedster QICK 319 Core Radeon RX 7800 XT 16 GB Video Card ($509.99 @ Amazon)
Case: NZXT H5 Flow RGB ATX Mid Tower Case ($99.99 @ Amazon)
Power Supply: Thermaltake Toughpower GF A3 - TT Premium Edition 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply ($115.63 @ Amazon)
Wireless Network Adapter: Intel Killer AX1675 802.11a/b/g/n/ac/ax PCIe x1 Wi-Fi Adapter ($43.99 @ Amazon)
Monitor: Sceptre E275B-QPN168 27.0" 2560 x 1440 144 Hz Monitor ($179.99 @ Amazon)
Total: $1763.10
Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when available
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-21 22:50 EDT-0400
submitted by JumpyJeweler8152 to pcpartpickerbuilds [link] [comments]
CPU: Intel Core i5-13600K 3.5 GHz 14-Core Processor ($259.99 @ Amazon)
CPU Cooler: Noctua NH-D15 82.5 CFM CPU Cooler ($109.95 @ Amazon)
Motherboard: Gigabyte B760 AORUS ELITE AX ATX LGA1700 Motherboard ($169.99 @ Amazon)
Memory: G.Skill Flare X5 32 GB (2 x 16 GB) DDR5-5600 CL30 Memory ($104.99 @ Amazon)
Storage: Crucial P3 500 GB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive ($51.60 @ Amazon)
Storage: Crucial P3 2 TB M.2-2280 PCIe 3.0 X4 NVME Solid State Drive ($116.99 @ Amazon)
Video Card: XFX Speedster QICK 319 Core Radeon RX 7800 XT 16 GB Video Card ($509.99 @ Amazon)
Case: NZXT H5 Flow RGB ATX Mid Tower Case ($99.99 @ Amazon)
Power Supply: Thermaltake Toughpower GF A3 - TT Premium Edition 850 W 80+ Gold Certified Fully Modular ATX Power Supply ($115.63 @ Amazon)
Wireless Network Adapter: Intel Killer AX1675 802.11a/b/g/n/ac/ax PCIe x1 Wi-Fi Adapter ($43.99 @ Amazon)
Monitor: Sceptre E275B-QPN168 27.0" 2560 x 1440 144 Hz Monitor ($179.99 @ Amazon)
Total: $1763.10
Prices include shipping, taxes, and discounts when available
Generated by PCPartPicker 2024-05-21 22:50 EDT-0400
2024.05.22 04:50 Cheap_Caregiver9319 Post from Logan Jernigan on Facebook. She was there that night.
 | And Colton newton reposted it. submitted by Cheap_Caregiver9319 to NoahPresgrove [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 04:48 Mr_MeepZeSheep I made this comment on a "early torture methods" video before it got taken down. Am I phsyco like what my friends say or do other people also have these ideas
 | I have no idea where else to post this because it indeed is something evil also I know its a lot to read but here's the TLDR: I turn people into crazy cannibals and uleash them in the next war assuming the Geneva convention doesn't see me first submitted by Mr_MeepZeSheep to foundsatan [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 04:42 kranzler_zephyrus 28 [M4F] Alberta/North America - Looking for a gaming girlfriend
Hello there!
I’m a 28 year old guy from Edmonton in Canada who recently finished a degree in palaeontology. I hope to work in a museum or do research in the future.
I also have a passion for video games, I play FFXIV and Honkai Star Rail mostly at the moment. Would also be happy to start a farm together in Stardew or Sun Haven. I alsoplay lots of single play JRPGs and I could stream something like that to you as well via discord if you like that sort of thing.
I also love Vocaloid music and video game soundtracks. I’m into Star Wars although the more recent stuff is pretty hit or miss for me. I collect Lego and am very interested in history. If I hadn’t gone into palaeontology I think I’d have studied Japanese religion.
I mostly use discord to communicate so it would be cool if you do too. But even if not we can figure something else out. Looking forward to hearing from you!
submitted by kranzler_zephyrus to r4r [link] [comments]
I’m a 28 year old guy from Edmonton in Canada who recently finished a degree in palaeontology. I hope to work in a museum or do research in the future.
I also have a passion for video games, I play FFXIV and Honkai Star Rail mostly at the moment. Would also be happy to start a farm together in Stardew or Sun Haven. I alsoplay lots of single play JRPGs and I could stream something like that to you as well via discord if you like that sort of thing.
I also love Vocaloid music and video game soundtracks. I’m into Star Wars although the more recent stuff is pretty hit or miss for me. I collect Lego and am very interested in history. If I hadn’t gone into palaeontology I think I’d have studied Japanese religion.
I mostly use discord to communicate so it would be cool if you do too. But even if not we can figure something else out. Looking forward to hearing from you!
2024.05.22 04:39 Educational_Role_135 Dad passed unexpectedly
I (24) called for a welfare check on my dad (56). I did so after fighting myself because I was so convinced he was fine. A few hours later I got the call from the sergeant telling me they entered in the back and found him passed away. It still doesn’t feel real and I hope it never does because the waves where it does makes me want to vomit. When the sergeant called I asked if he was found on the floor to try and get some better understanding on what occurred. He said no- he is sitting upright on the couch, with a vitamin water and the tv remote and tv on right next to him. He said he looks like he peacefully was just watching tv. Im finding comfort in this.
I had spoken to him early that morning. He sounded great, really happy. Told me that day that he was feeling spiritual after undergoing a medically supervised ketamine treatment the day prior. Said it made him realize how small he is compared to everything. He was never a spiritual man so I’m finding comfort in this.
He spoke with my brother a few hours after, and my grandma at 4:59. He told her he’d contact her in an hour to check her into her flight- but never did. We have ring video footage of him opening the door for a handy man to inspect the kitchen at 4:30 and walking him out at 4:40. He looked perfectly normal. My grandma texted me telling me she had a bad feeling after not hearing back from him about the flight. This was at 5:40. I called 500 times. Texted numerous times. No answer.
He was living with my grandmother. She went on vacation and he was staying alone for a few days. Everything was fine. We spoke multiple times that week and he sounded great. He has always had severe back pain and was supposed to be getting a full spinal fusion in a few weeks. He definitely has always had a lot of health things going on, but was being cleared for an intensive surgery so I can’t imagine anything being noticeabley wrong with his heart or anything. And in the grand scheme of my life, this was the best I had seen him in years.
Im trying to help make sense of this. Im trying to assure myself that it was quick and as peaceful as anyone could pass. My grandma has life alerts all over the house- surely he would’ve used them if he thought he needed to. His phone was with him. Surely he would’ve called someone if he needed to. I just need to know that it was quick. If there was any way to pass, the comfort of his childhood home with so many great family memories would be one of the better places I could think of. I’m trying to find comfort in this.
He flew out a few weeks prior to spend time with all of us. What a blessing that time was with him. I wish I cherished every minute more but I know that’s my grief speaking. He always joked about how he doesn’t want a funeral, he wants a party to celebrate him. He wouldn’t want any of us sad and would want us all to tell stories to remember the good times. I’m trying to remind myself of this and do it to honor him. He was doing so good and was so optimistic about life. I think that’s what’s making me so sad. But I guess it’s good that he got to be really happy leading up to it. And he was in a lot of pain with his back. A lot more than he ever allowed anyone to believe. So I’m finding comfort in believing he is in a better place where pain isn’t a thing.
If you read this, thank you for listening to me vent. It helps to speak about him.
submitted by Educational_Role_135 to GriefSupport [link] [comments]
I had spoken to him early that morning. He sounded great, really happy. Told me that day that he was feeling spiritual after undergoing a medically supervised ketamine treatment the day prior. Said it made him realize how small he is compared to everything. He was never a spiritual man so I’m finding comfort in this.
He spoke with my brother a few hours after, and my grandma at 4:59. He told her he’d contact her in an hour to check her into her flight- but never did. We have ring video footage of him opening the door for a handy man to inspect the kitchen at 4:30 and walking him out at 4:40. He looked perfectly normal. My grandma texted me telling me she had a bad feeling after not hearing back from him about the flight. This was at 5:40. I called 500 times. Texted numerous times. No answer.
He was living with my grandmother. She went on vacation and he was staying alone for a few days. Everything was fine. We spoke multiple times that week and he sounded great. He has always had severe back pain and was supposed to be getting a full spinal fusion in a few weeks. He definitely has always had a lot of health things going on, but was being cleared for an intensive surgery so I can’t imagine anything being noticeabley wrong with his heart or anything. And in the grand scheme of my life, this was the best I had seen him in years.
Im trying to help make sense of this. Im trying to assure myself that it was quick and as peaceful as anyone could pass. My grandma has life alerts all over the house- surely he would’ve used them if he thought he needed to. His phone was with him. Surely he would’ve called someone if he needed to. I just need to know that it was quick. If there was any way to pass, the comfort of his childhood home with so many great family memories would be one of the better places I could think of. I’m trying to find comfort in this.
He flew out a few weeks prior to spend time with all of us. What a blessing that time was with him. I wish I cherished every minute more but I know that’s my grief speaking. He always joked about how he doesn’t want a funeral, he wants a party to celebrate him. He wouldn’t want any of us sad and would want us all to tell stories to remember the good times. I’m trying to remind myself of this and do it to honor him. He was doing so good and was so optimistic about life. I think that’s what’s making me so sad. But I guess it’s good that he got to be really happy leading up to it. And he was in a lot of pain with his back. A lot more than he ever allowed anyone to believe. So I’m finding comfort in believing he is in a better place where pain isn’t a thing.
If you read this, thank you for listening to me vent. It helps to speak about him.
2024.05.22 04:35 16wkthrowaway 4th dimension
I feel like I must be going crazy, I spend most of my days crying over having to be alive, and not in the way that most people would. It's been like this for months, I'm so alone in my thoughts. I cry because I'm already dead, and always dead. I'm always alive, I'll always have not been born. Every state of me that has or will exist does exist. I can't do it. I don't know how to explain this to anyone, I worry no-one understands. I just try to ignore these thoughts but it's so painful, it hurts. I'm getting it all wrong. I'm fucking up every one of me. I want it over with, I want to be dead but it would be all for nothing, I'm already dead. I want to burn every inch of my body, I want to feel all the pain in the universe. I always wonder what's happening now in the "future". What I'm thinking of now. Am I thinking of me now? It's all already over, I've already lived my life and I don't even know what I've done. I haven't grown old but I already have. I'm terrified I'll blink and I'll be dying. I'll have missed every second in between, I don't know where I'll have gone. How is everyone ok living like this? I wish I'd never understood the 4th dimension. I can handle depression but this is something much more sinister, it's like a sick fucking game. I am in the middle of an incredibly sick game. I must be being punished, I must have done something wrong. I can't do this. I can't do it. I'm (almost) mute in person, everyone says I seem empty, like I barely have any thoughts running through me. I don't speak because I don't know how I could possibly get this out. I'd sound insane. I'm not insane, I must be more sane than anyone else in the world to feel the way I do. This is horrific. I don't know what entity could possibly be so evil as to do this to someone. This is a sick game and I have no way of getting out. Dying isn't a way out of this, it's simply a continuation. This will never end. Nothing will ever end. I think I must already be in hell, because this truly is eternal torture. I'm being tortured every second of every day and I will be until the end of time, there is no end of time. There's no beginning. We go through one way but time has no ways, THIS IS SICK. Some SICK FUCKS. I'm so alone. I'm alone forever in this.
submitted by 16wkthrowaway to mentalhealth [link] [comments]