Hello everyone,
This is my week 8 update!! Can’t believe it’s been 2 months!
This week i took my 3rd dose of 5mg in the bottom left of my belly. Side effects have been pretty low-key although I have been using the bathroom more than usual (that is the most polite way i could think of saying what i mean). Probably going to go back to my thigh next week as my appetite suppression was less noticeable this week.
This week’s weight loss has been slow at 0.9kg lost in total. Just want to mention that this is slow for me personally as i usually lose between 1.5-3kg a week but 0.9kg is still amazing and very healthy. This is especially since i have been eating a bit more this week too (it’s almost time to move out of our uni house and i have quite a bit of freezer food to get through to avoid waste).
On the plus side, ive officially lost 15kg (15.3kg to be exact) so i am 25% of the way to my target which is very exciting.
I’ve been to the gym 5 times and have been getting back into walking but mostly on the treadmill because the weather has not been on my side. I cant remember when but a few weeks back i mentioned needing to pluck up the courage to start pilates. Unfortunately my Pilates Mat is still chilling in its Amazon packaging in the corner of my room but I blame my academic commitments for that. I will give it a go at some point soon. I promise!
Currently at the point where i need to start thinking about whether i want to go to 7.5mg or not. Im leaning more towards staying on 5mg as it’s been quite kind to me but im going to wait until i take my 4th dose of 5mg so i can make a fully informed decision. This will be okay as i plan on taking the “5th dose” of 5mg also.
Weird side note: my body has started clicking a lot which i read can be caused by me eating less fats whilst on this weight loss journey?? Not sure how accurate that is but it low-key makes sense. Either way the clicking isn’t painful, it’s just annoying to hear.
That’s all from me!! Hope you’re all doing well :)
Stats as of 17 May 2024 5’7 21F, SW and HW: 120kg (265lbs), CW: 104.7kg (230.8lbs), GW: 60kg (132lbs)

I hate my house. I hate everything about it. It’s always too clean, and there just seems to be something off about it. Although, I can’t ever find anything tangible that is wrong with it except for the fact that it’s dark. There is never enough light to illuminate things I need to see. I somehow always find myself squinting when I read, and turning on more lamps as the day goes on. I am well aware that I have many more light sources than the average person, but I need them. There is never enough light.
I realized this about my house after the first week of moving in. The first week was filled with the excitement of independence, however once the high wore off, the darkness settled in. It has honestly just made me uncomfortable. I feel like the house has something to hide.
I came back from work one evening and started my ritual of turning on just about every light there was in this goddamn place. It took me a couple of minutes to thoroughly go through every light source and click each one on. It made my house slightly more bearable, but still it wasn’t enough.
Finally I convince myself to go finish up some paperwork. I walk towards the living room where my desk is, and pull out a pen and a flashlight. I always need the flashlight to do any sort of writing because my eyes don’t even seem to register what I am writing if I don’t have extremely concentrated light focused on the paper.
I switch my flashlight on and begin writing. Going along, I manage to get through most of it within twenty minutes or so. Although, as time passes, the light from my flashlight seems to be brighter and brighter. Confused yet happy, I look at my flashlight and see that it wasn’t even on. I click the button a few times, and it must be dead. Confused, I look up at the ceiling where the recessed lighting is and am almost blinded as I look at it. It’s brighter than I’ve ever seen it in my life. I feel the light hit my skin and take in the beauty. I’ve never experienced this much pure bliss. Finally, light has entered my life and I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I look around the living room and find that every single light source that has been turned on is glowing brighter than ever before. So, I just sit in my office chair, basking in the artificial light that is finally enough for me.
A few minutes go by, and the excitement of light has worn off. Now, if anything, it has become too bright. I look up at the ceiling once again and see that the light is even brighter than before. How could that be possible? It almost hurts my eyes.
In fact, now it does hurt my eyes. I look down at my tile floor for a second. With the overly bright light, I can now see things I never saw before in my house. There’s huge cracks along the baseboards. The cracks even run up the walls and spider out in a million directions. I quickly run into my kitchen, and find that the cracks are there too. How could I have never seen them before? I know that my house was dark, but it shouldn’t have affected my sight that much, right?
I look to the countertop and find the set of chef’s knives sitting pristinely in the corner. I never realized how incredibly dirty they were, or how sharp the blades were. I take a closer look and find gunk practically growing on the knives. I seriously don’t understand how I could not have seen it until now.
The light is getting brighter. The colors are now becoming washed out in my kitchen by the harsh light. It’s so bright that anything even slightly reflective causes me to squint and look away. I feel my heart pounding in my chest as my brain tries to think through the situation. Why is this even happening?
I look around more at my kitchen and discover even more details that I had never seen before there was light. The window’s seal was completely broken, and there were insects flying in, hundreds a second. The pots and pans all had leftover food residue that looks like it could grow to the size of the house soon if left unsupervised. My fridge had a huge dent in the metal door, and the cabinet doors were all off of their hinges. My house was literally falling apart. All the while, the lights were getting unbearably brighter.
I had to get out of here. I wasn’t sure which would get me first, the lights blinding me, or the house collapsing on top of me, or the mold taking over almost all of the food left in my pantry. I run towards the front door, and try to leave, but the instant I touch the handle, I draw back my hand as it burns me. The light has become so bright that I can hardly see anything, and the metal in my house is starting to heat up. I realize that it is now or never, and that the flesh on my hand will need to be sacrificed to spare my life. I reach out blindly for the handle once again, turn the lock, and shove the door open. I can smell the burning flesh and I can hardly feel anything but pain in my hand.
As I cross the threshold of my door, I hear my house begin to collapse behind me. I run a few yards away from my house and look back. It’s entirely rubble now. I wonder how I could have never seen all of the signs of that decaying house until a few minutes ago.
The darkness blinded me from the problems. The light blinded me from the solutions.
It was too late.
I am homeless.
Nobody would ever believe that I hadn’t seen the cracks in my walls and foundation until now, or the mold growing on my food or the lights becoming so bright that I was temporarily blinded. They will all think I’m crazy. And the worst part is, I can feel the darkness settling over me once again. There is no more light, and even though it seemed to blind me temporarily, I missed what the light revealed. Now I am left in the dark about what my life will become once again.

meditation is not a practice that you do. Meditation is simply what you are. it takes no effort at all to be what you effortlessly are. your awareness never requires any maintenance nor any effort at all to simply be aware. you need to make an effort only so that you can come to the realization that it was always effortless the entire time. effortlessness is our most natural and unique divine quality but most are disconnected from their pure self and have adopted beLIEfs about who they are which is the source of their suffering. Very important to understand that this is not personal in any way shape or form. I have recently come to realize that God is very logical and runs the universe in a way that we all can unanimously agree on deep down in everyone's soul we all unanimously agree with God's way whether we want to or not simply because the spirit in all of us can't help but agree with it absolutely. The physical version of us can easily lie to itself but our spirit is incapable of it. If you suffer It could only be because you deserve to suffer. Although we have always been strategically and purposefully told by our society that "life is not fair!!!" Big surprise it turns out the society that man has wrought is ass backwards in every way shape and form. It's not the world that's upside down it's the society that makes it seem that way. The truth is the universe is perfectly Fair. It's just that humans are incredibly skilled at lying to themselves. So they are not aware of why they deserve to suffer. I have always been one who has been incapable of lying to myself. For example, most people are proud or feel arrogance and superiority because they possess some great quality. This is only possible because they are skilled at lying to themselves and ignore the fact that everything amazing about them could only be seen as a gift from God and any imperfection within us can only come from us as individual people. You have to be an amazing liar to your self to ever feel arrogance or any sense of superiority above others. We are all given our own unique special gifts from God and he did not give you these gifts expecting to be thanked or for any ulterior motive other than out of pure love. It is simply a fact that you unknowingly spit in the face of this great pure love if you pretend that anything good about you comes from you the individual person. Of course if it did come from you you would be worthy to feel Superior and dominate others but God is the living breathing proof of one who is Worthy to feel Superior and look down on anything and yet he doesn't do it. So if anybody who is unworthy dare to dominate, control, or even feel Superior to another they commit a great great sin against the universe itself. And their own soul will punish itself knowing full well it deserves it. I have always been painfully painfully aware of why I deserved whatever I deserved. And thanks to my special gift God allowed me to be the kind of person that is incapable of lying to themselves. I'm aware of the fact that Humility is the only thing I ever truly deserve to feel. we resist feeling this humility only because we resist our suffering. Suffering has never been our enemy just like the pain you feel when you touch a hot stove is not our enemy but our very important friend that you would be smart to listen to. Understanding this allows you to never again feel like suffering is something to complain about instead it becomes a grand opportunity for growth. Another gift that God gave me was an insatiable desire for growth that only an infinite and eternal God can satisfy. This is why my entire life God has never allowed me to feel Pride or arrogance without severely teaching me a lesson and putting me in my place. God has been drilling the lesson of humility into my head above all other lessons my entire life. Humility is the Foundation of all my spiritual growth. There's two other super important lessons he made sure I mastered before truly revealing himself to me. And I believe that if anyone were to fully learn just these three specific lessons he made sure I learned above all others then you too would be worthy of seeing his glory. You could be perfect in almost every way but haven't fully learned three fundamental things he simply cannot bless you the way he wants to because you simply wouldn't deserve it. And if you have many many flaws but you somehow are able to fully understand three specific things then you will earn so much of his love and respect that he will personally take care of your other flaws in time and put you on a fast track to your own unique perfection.you let go of control simply by realizing that you don't have it in the first place. the only control we have is whether or not we accept what ever comes and goes. the one who realizes that realizes control is overrated. it's much easier to flow in harmony and allow the universe to do all the work for you cuz it is you silly. effortlessness is our most natural quality but most are disconnected from their pure self and have adopted belief of who they are which is the source of their suffering. thus giving birth to the false sense of personhood. a mere illusion that we cling to and overlook our true selves which is always present but seemingly overshadowed by the mind. it's very rare for me to find one who can not only follow me in this but also speak profound truth on the matter. The self within me is the same self within you. to connect love and inspire those who also know that we are not two is pretty damn cool if you ask me. there is nothing that I enjoy doing more than this haha. You beautiful bums do you not realize 😍 it is your experience at any given moment you can verify that this awareness we all have an experience of is ever present and unchanging? although I love ABSOLUTELY ALL equally and unconditionally. the way that I feel for another being who Has also walked the narrow path and can stand next to me shoulder to shoulder or better yet way Beyond me in terms of wisdom never as a mere follower but as an equal goes far beyond any word that could possible exist. I will give you nothing. all I will do is ask the question and you yourself have to testify that this awareness that you KNOW that YOU are is ever present and unchanging. every single person on the planet if they would only investigate themselves would come to the exact same conclusion within themselves. and if they only knew the implications of such a profound discovery their minds would be blown Sky High. for the past 10 years I've been pondering one profound matter and it wasn't until about 7 years did I barely begin to really understand it's depths. and 3 years later I now find myself to just begin to walk the path of understanding. there is no end to this path I'm on. there is an infinite amount of growth ahead of me. my journey to reaching this point has been one drenched in failure and suffering. I have fallen in every single trap possible many many times until I eventually matured slowly but surely in my awareness of these traps and adjusted to not only not falling anymore traps but pass every single test that the universe constantly loves to throw at me with flying colors. I went through all that pain and suffering so that I may be a light too those Souls who attempt to walk a similar path as me. although in comparison to the whole of humanity only a handful will bare the fruits they were supposed to. I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty damn good handful. my instincts tell me I'm far from alone and that many have walked a similar narrow Road. I do not often come across those who have an ear to hear that which I speak. I've had to learn the hard way to stop giving precious jewelry to swine and instead save it for those Worthy even if it means waiting a long time to find such a being. The universe loves to remind me that it appreciates me greatly for trying my very best with great passion to teach another that which I have understood but it seems like it's only meant for those who have a level of discernment that is extremely Sharp enough to see through all the b******* but not throw away the precious baby with the bathwater. the truth that I have found is so simple that most humans will simply Overlook or not be able to sense the importance of it because they don't realize the beauty of the most simple truth that if you investigate enough transforms into the most profound and never-ending mystery. leave it to God who is the source of all paradoxes to hide the most profound thing in existence right under everybody's noses in plain sight making it seem so simple that the vast majority of all beings who have ever lived are incapable of appreciating it and instead live and die never tasting or knowing themselves. Its always been my sincere Love Of Truth that has kept me forever Rising through an ocean of darkness. all the pain and suffering that life throws at anyone is Beyond worth it if one can just manage to learn the specific lesson that accompanied them. to not learn the lesson would be a waste of that suffering. I am one who has not wasted a single drop of it. I'm just a humble servant of this grand life. there is no greater honor in life than to be a servant of it. the true definition of a king is one who dedicates their life in service of their precious kin their beloved brethren. all beings are equal and deserving of dignity and respect, this is simply common sense to one who knows themselves. A servant of nature is what I'm hoping they will call me when I'm dead. It's okay, it's never too late. unconditional love really does exist and You can see for yourself it's infinite. I AM one who effortlessly wields this all powerful force we call LOVE. an infinity love that encompasses all. a love so mighty that no one could ever hope to Escape it's grasp no matter how hard they try. You see... That is a rare gift. A love that knows no bounds.

Hi, I (F20) have been dating my boyfriend (M21) for around 6 months now. He is the epitome of sweetness; he is attentive, caring, and unfailingly patient. He would wait for hours in the sun just to meet me for a little while after my classes. I obviously keep telling him to stop but he says he wants to wait for me. His social media is brimming with love posts secretly tagged to me. All of this can become a little overbearing at times but I cherish it with all my heart.
Despite his love, I still found myself being discontent. I thought I was the problem and that I have problems with accepting love. But after some introspection I realised, it was his childish and immature demeanor was the reason of this frustration. Conversations with him often ended in a helpless "I don't know what to say," and his identity has dissolved entirely into his love for me. His whole personality is just loving me. This lack of individuality and mental stimulation made me feeling bored. Like I'm in a relationship with a teenager. He wasn't like this before we started dating. We had been friends for 8 months before we dated and he definitely had a lot to say back then.
Now, A week ago, I started talking to another guy (M24) who is an old acquaintance of mine. We both bond over our love for philosophy and deep conversations. We discuss philosophy, movies, and psychology. This reignited a spark in my mind. His witty replies and sharp intellect provided the mental stimulation I craved and lacked in my previous Here I was given a chance to reply something witty in return and I knew he would get it. As we talked our conversations took a flirtatious turn. For a moment, I felt something stir in my heart, a feeling I recognized as emotional infidelity. He is also one of the sweetest and kindest people I know.
Despite turning him down initially, we continued talking about our love lives and in a moment of weakness, I sent him one nude picture of me. I was immediately filled with guilt. I told him we shouldn't continue talking, realizing I had wronged both men.
I want to confess to my boyfriend but I don't want to break his heart. I know how much he loves and the thought of causing him pain is unbearable. Yet, I also understand the importance of honesty and want to let him decide what to do. I owe him at least the truth. But I don't have it in me to break his heart yet. I know I need to work on myself and fix the root of this behaviour. I want to tell him, but maybe later in a few months when I have clearly worked out these problems?
TL;DR: I've been dating my sweet but immature boyfriend for 6 months. Our relationship lacks mental stimulation, leading me to emotionally cheat with an old acquaintance. I sent him a nude and now feel guilty. I want to confess but fear breaking my boyfriend's heart.
Some advice would be much appreciated.

Unfortunately I bought these used from an original owner in excellent condition however I recently found out there's zero warranty on used Nikon's. There's 7 year warranty only to the original owners who purchased them from authorized Nikon USA dealers brand new sealed box not demo not open box otherwise no warranty.
That's a major bummer because these Nikon HFs weren't cheap even when paying used prices for them.
They have the exact same warranty as the way cheaper ScoopX UHDs which in fact aren't that far behind optically. Just the Nikons are easier to snap into focus more quickly and have slightly better sharpness but actually you'd be hard pressed to notice unless you got both of them together side by side to compare.
I actually don't use these HGs much because I'm afraid if they break I'm pretty much screwed. And believe it or not the much cheaper Prostaff P7 I recently paid FULL PRICE AND THEN SOME FOR I much prefer to use on a daily basis due to their lighter weight and slightly wider FOV. The P7 focus is buttery Smooth too even though they're not as sharp.
If and when buying these Nikon's only buy them brand new sealed box from authorized Nikon USA dealers to get their current 7 year warranty and never buy used otherwise you're SOL if and when they break.
Only buy used Nikon's at a price you can afford to throw away after they break. If you got plenty of cash and don't care then it's not a problem to keep on buying them used. I think even buying a used Chinese Monarch M7 is kinda stupid for $250-$300 or even brand new from unauthorized eBay sellers just because of no warranty. Their M7 brand new are a rip off IMHO just because after comparing one side by side with the ScoopX UHDs man the M7s not as clear edge to edge with more noticeable CA.
I think MAAAAYBE $200 max for no warranty Binoculars and preferably under $100 or cheap as possible which is not as painful to throw away.
I have a Vortex Razor HD 10x42 inbound to compare this Nikon Monarch HG to. Lifetime VIP warranty and Vortex even pays for your round trip shipping if and when you need to use their no fault no questions asked LIFETIME WARRANTY which is in fact totally totally totally opposite of NIKON.

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At Abundant You Chiropractic & Wellness, we understand that every patient is unique. That's why we develop personalized treatment plans tailored to your specific needs and goals. Our initial consultation includes a thorough assessment of your medical history, a physical examination, and any necessary diagnostic tests. Based on this comprehensive evaluation, we create a customized treatment plan that may include chiropractic adjustments, physical therapy, nutritional counseling, and lifestyle recommendations.
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Does anybody else have weird sensation in their neck? I do have cancerous lymph nodes left but i had no symtoms prior to my neck dissection and had 17 positive ones?
I can’t really describe the feeling but i get a sharp pain around both sides of my neck and it feels stiff. I had a biopsy 2 months ago and it’s around that exact area.
My doctor didnt really care about it when I brought it up since I already have a scan coming up

Hello! I am F22 and my partner of 6 years is M21. We have always had pretty good sex, and often. At least 3-4 times a week. we did “calm down” about 2 years ago and have slowly been on a decline since. Now, we’re lucky if it’s once a month.
I have struggled with yeast infections since as long as I can remember. (I have lived with my father most of my life and never brought up seeing a doctor since it was awkward) and have had it on and off again. At some point I thought I may have had BV but that was some time ago.
For these past years our sex was great - nothing out of the ordinary really happened. Then for some reason - about august 2023- I started noticing some pain. Like when he thrusts it felt like sandpaper. Especially since he usually takes it out and puts it back in to adjust his position, that would hurt a lot too. Even though I was wet and aroused .But I brushed it off as oh maybe I’m having an off day. But the pain is still here if not worse.
Now I find myself gripping my thighs every time there is penetration. I’ve tried water and silicone lube, different types of condoms with lubricant (I think I like the Skyn ones) and we have had some partial success with it, but found out if he sticks himself too far up there it starts to sting and after a while it feels like a raw, stinging, burning sensation. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it in halfway before we need to stop.
And I’m not sure if this is part of it as well, but I have noticed that now when I am aroused, I feel like my uterus (??) swells up and gets bloated and it’s not painful but it’s a bit off putting for me. It’s like almost my lower stomach region.
anyways this is just a bit what’s going on with me. I came across this sub and a lot of what has been posted sounds similar but of course I don’t want to self diagnose. I am still a bit lost on the dialators though, are they just vibrators? I would also like to see someone for help, I’m just worried it will be expensive since I do not have insurance. I am open to any help or advice!
thank you for reading. <3

So in the last 3 days, i’ve developed a sort of dull tingling in the end of my tailbone. Doesn’t matter if I stand, sit, or lay down. Unless i’m sitting on a pillow It’s constantly tingling, and it’s not a huge discomfort but every so often it makes me feel really weird. I haven’t experienced pins and needles, or pain of any kind. Just the tingling sensation, and I’m not sure if this is right place to ask or not. Could it be a pinched nerve?
Thanks in advance.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I heard the words that shattered my world. You betrayed me. You looked at me with a smirk and said, "Yeah, I did. What are you gonna do about it?" I couldn't believe it. How could you do this to me? How could you turn your back on me after everything we've been through? A single tear fell from my eye, and you noticed. "Oh... oh, don't cry..." You said, but not with kindness. With mockery. You reached for my face, but I flinched away. You grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. I saw an old photo of us on the table, smiling and happy. We looked so innocent and pure. I cried harder, remembering the good times we had. You snatched the photo from my hands and tore it up. You threw the pieces in my face and said, "It's over! Our friendship has ended!" I sobbed, feeling the pieces of my heart breaking along with the photo. I did nothing but trust you…. I cried, trying to find some explanation for your actions. You laughed and said, "And I did nothing but break that trust. And I don't regret a damn thing." You looked at me with contempt and said, "... you are not the Ralsei I know and love! You're just an impostor pretending to be him." You wiped your mouth and said, "Hey, hey, no need to cry over something that's over. I'm the Dark Prince now. And if you think I still have a heart..." You slapped me across the face, hard. I felt a sting and a bruise forming. "I hate you." You spat. "Do you think that hurts me? The only thing that hurts are your tears. You disgust me." You turned around and walked away. "Ugh, whatever. If you can't handle a betrayal, why did you trust me in the first place?" You said over your shoulder. I looked down, feeling numb and empty. You sighed and said, "...look, you were just so loyal. You were trusting me unconditionally, like I couldn't possibly hurt you. That's the only thing that makes me feel bad." You sounded almost sincere, but I knew it was a lie. "Ugh." You said, annoyed. I let out a whimper, and more tears fell. You shouted, "Dammit, I told you to stop crying!" You sighed again and said, "Look. Just... forget about me. I don't wanna see you again. I don't want anything to do with you." You started walking away, leaving me alone and broken. I just stood there, unable to move or speak. You sighed one last time and turned around. You looked at me with pity and said, "You're so sensitive, and I just hate seeing you like this. Just... please stop crying." You said softly, as if you cared. But I knew you didn't. You turned away and walked out of my life. I whispered, "I just miss the old you, that's all." But you didn't hear me. You didn't care. You were gone. And I was left with nothing but pain and tears.
I'll always treasure the memories we made, even though you're gone now. I may never fully recover from losing you, but I'll never forget you. Goodbye, Ralsei.

Hi, I have chronic idiopathic urticaria and have been doing xolair injections for a while now. I get them sent to my house and I do one syringe in each thigh. I’ve been struggling to get it in the right spot as it’s been hurting much more than it normally does (xolair shots are known to be painful in general). I just gave myself my xolair tonight and I can’t tell if I am just bruising again or if there’s a possibility it went too deep? My leg hurts more than it usually does this many hours after being injected. I’ve hit capillaries before and have almost always given myself a nasty bruise but this feels slightly different. The medicine feels like it’s still sitting in a clump instead of dispersing out . My leg hurts to move but my other leg is fine. Is it possible that it went into the muscle? And if so, how bad is that? (I don’t have a lot of medical knowledge so I’m sorry if this is a stupid question)

I want to tell them so I can feel free again, I feel so trapped having to basically live in bandaids, constantly make up stories and go through this all alone, but at the same time Im scared on how they'll react when they find out their kid has been slicing himself open for years without their knowledge, or that he's wrote SO MANY suicide notes to his cousin swearing it was gonna be his last year on earth, what if my mom thinks it's all her fault and she's a bad mom? What if my dad gets angry at me? What if they overreact and hide all sharp objects from me, take away my electronics, and I loose all freedom?! I hate myself for this, I wish I could be free again and not feel scared to show my arms and legs, not have the horrible feeling of relapse whenever I see scissors or my little sisters cat scratches, I hate the pain I make myself go through but it's so fucking hard to stop, I don't know what to do anymore, I want help, I do, but I'm scared of the process. How do I tell them? What if they never treat me the same again? I feel like Im better off dead, I don't know, I just don't want to go through this alone and have someone who understands, I wish I could just fast forward the process and be "fixed" already because I'm so tired if always being so stressed and alone.

Hi!
Female, 28, 150lbs.
Friday afternoon I noticed this rash on my right hip. Initially it was pretty itchy but I was able to ignore it as the day went on. One thing that stood out about this rash was that it was sore to touch, which was noticeable throughout the day but nothing too serious. I figured it would go away if I didn’t pay it any attention so I left it over the weekend since I was going on vacation. Fast forward to today and the rash has not gone down in size. It is itchy when agitated but the soreness is definitely noticeable, especially when I walk. The pain almost feels like I got an IM injection there. One other thing I noticed is that I now have a hard and moveable lump on my right groin - that is also painful to touch. I decided to go to urgent care today because google told me it could be lymphoma, but the Dr I saw today said it could be shingles, herpes, or cellulitis. I’ve had both the varicella vaccine and chicken pox, and I’ve been in a committed relationship for the last 6 years. I also don’t recall getting cut/bit on my right thigh so I don’t know how I would’ve gotten cellulitis.
I’ll attach a picture of the rash below but any input is appreciated. Since I’m out of the 72 hour window, the Dr said that antivirals wouldn’t be helpful so he prescribed me oral antibiotics to take until my swab comes back.

Chapter 1
Mors
An endless void, silence interlaid with its pitch-darkness, greeted an injured man. No light can be seen, sensations be damned, and consciousness spread thin as though taut in this incomprehensive expanse that laid before him.
Callum fell into the abyss, his mind the only thing left to accompany him. He hasn’t even counted the minutes as his mind is plagued by something else. He never considered himself a man of interest, only scraping by with his odd jobs and part-time salaries, hence why he couldn’t understand his current situation.
Betrayal is something that he is familiar with, whether it be a betrayal of his expectations when a co-worker broke his promise or a betrayal of his emotions when his first love interest cheated on him back in uni. However, this betrayal orchestrated by his best friend whom he’d known for 5 years, and girlfriend for 8 years felt more gut-wrenching than the pain he felt from the stab.
Denial was the first thing that stormed his mind. He couldn’t believe that the two closest people in his life would stab him in the back, literally. There was no build-up, he didn’t suspect a thing, and everything was normal until he found steel in his flesh.
He rejected the notion that his girlfriend, Catherine, would betray him like this, an accomplice to a murder that he can’t grasp the motive of. He has built up some savings, but it isn’t something that would be worth murdering someone for, especially after buying that ring.
He dismissed the thought of Jake being jealous of their relationship as he couldn’t see the guy doing something as stupid as this. He can’t form any rhyme or reason as to why they would do it, and the only possible explanation is that this was all a dream and he was actually still sleeping inside the tent.
But as he waited for himself to wake from this nightmare, only darkness greeted him. He had tried moving his body in this sea of blackness, but the movement only felt like going through molasses with tired arms, which is why he attributed this as being only a dream that he would wake up from, which appeared to be wrong as he waited and waited.
Anxiety crept in as he tried to call out, but no sound escaped his lips. He strained his voice to be heard, yet he can't even hear himself. No light adorned this place, no wind to be heard, and he couldn’t feel anything even though he tried feeling himself.
The pain in his back was forgotten as he tried and tried to move, to scream, to flail senselessly, amounting to nothing as he was greeted by nothing.
Feeling anything in this void is something impossible, and the only thing that he can do is return to his mindscape.
He went back to his oldest memories, back to a time when everything felt oppressive and suffocating. Callum was born into a broken family. His mother and father had gone through a divorce when he was only 6 years old. He could still remember the screaming and yelling of his parents whenever night fell in their sorry state of an apartment.
His father, Eric, having not finished his education after Callum’s birth, has been living as a blue-collar worker in downtown New Jersey. Even during his day-offs, he can’t seem to find rest as he goes to do odd jobs and part-time work to stay afloat. On the other hand, his mother would leave him, a toddler, alone in the apartment.
He remembered her putting CDs in a DVD player so that it could keep his attention on a cartoon that his father introduced him to. If he had anything to describe his mother, she would be irresponsible and narcissistic. She would sometimes bring guys over to their apartment, threatening Callum with divorce if he ever told Eric about it, hence why it took several years until his dad caught on and filed for a divorce.
Eric was determined to take Callum with him, he argues that he could take care of his child better than Callum’s mother. But his mother and her twisted pride can’t let go of Callum, which leads to a legal dispute between the two.
The court hearings went on for several months, with each passing day being a lot more hellish for Callum. He was subjected to further insults by his mother as she knew that leaving bruises on her child would lower her chances of winning over the court to her side. Sometimes, she would go as far as manipulate him, gaslighting him into believing that she was a good mother who would take care of him better than his father. But after seeing that the court favors Eric’s side more, his mother took drastic measures to satisfy her wounded pride.
It was the second to the last day of the court hearing, and it was during this time that his father was working overtime. Callum had just gone home from his elementary school, feeling tired as he hauled his bag over his shoulders up the multiple flights of stairs he had to climb to get to their apartment.
As he neared his home, he steeled himself and opened the door, only to be met with overturned tables and broken ceramics. He walked quietly through the scene, afraid that someone might hear him entering his home. Looking back on it now, Calum can’t help himself but laugh at his stupidity. He could have gone and alerted their neighbors, or gone back downstairs to wait for his father, but being a child, Callum doesn’t know what to do.
As he entered his room, he saw black words spray painted on the walls, the meaning eluding him as he didn’t know what it meant since he was 7 at the time, but remembering it now sent shivers down his spine.
The words “This is what you get!” on a torn wallpaper are ingrained in his mind. Seeing the manic letters sprayed over the walls gave Callum anxiety, taking a few steps back towards the open front door of their apartment. Escape was now on his mind as he grew scared of what was to come, something that was far too late as he heard his mother behind him.
It was there that everything turned into a blur. He remembered snippets of yelling and crying both from himself and his mother. He remembered his mother forcing something down his throat. He remembered his father coming home early that day and restraining his mother, a crazy look in her eyes. He remembered the feeling of nausea and the floor colored with his lunch. And he remembered the sirens, red and blue lights dancing in his vision as he was carried to a stretcher. The last thing he remembered was his father crying, holding his hands tightly when he opened his tired eyes.
For the next few days, he learned from the news that his mother attempted a double suicide. The story goes, after losing the custody battle, the mother planned to take revenge by ending the lives of both her child and herself. They said that he got lucky as the neighbors had contacted Eric when his mother turned their home upside down, relating it to a possible home invasion. If not for him, Callum would have died from nicotine poisoning after his mother forced tobacco down his gullet, a morbid story that he uses as a joke during his time at work.
He remembered being inside that hospital for days on end, his body recovering from the poison his mother left him with, and his father was there almost every day even though he had to work to pay the hospital bills. After what felt like forever was he allowed to be discharged, going back to the same refurbished apartment that they lived in, but after seeing how Callum had recurring nightmares and trauma attached to the place, they decided to move to Pennsylvania. A hard decision that needed to be made as his father would put it.
Everything after the whole incident was better for Callum. His father got a job as a mover, still doing some part-time work here and there, and Callum did his best in school so as not to burden his father with more work. Even though they lived in a rundown shack handed to them by one of the locals, they didn’t mind as they knew that getting to live at all was better than what they had before.
Callum smiled in the abyss as he reminisced about his time with his father. He was a great man, a good role model for anyone who came across him. He is kind-hearted and considerate, a hard worker that makes him popular among his peers. It was them that helped move him and his father out of New Jersey and found them a place to sleep in, teaching Callum that socializing and connecting with like-minded people goes a long way when someone needs it.
For the next few years, Callum lived happily. Though there were some ups and downs, he and his father got through it, which is why the memory of his time in university was depressing.
Eric, after having saved some money, gave Callum the go-ahead to enroll in a university in California. But after attaining an athletic scholarship in football, Callum gave his father a surprise to ease his worries and stress. Callum felt bad every time he saw his father work, hence why he tried his hardest to take some of that workload to give him a break. With the tuition being lowered with the scholarship, Callum could give the rest of the money back to his dad. A gesture that was fully gratified as his father had a hard time letting him go when the time came to move over to the university. But it was during this time that tragedy struck.
It was his fourth year in studying anthropology when he heard the news from one of his father’s friends, Robby. After hearing it, he grew distressed and worried, taking a lot of convincing from Robby to keep Callum from moving back to Pennsylvania.
His father has gone missing. The news had spread amongst his co-workers and friends, and a search team was already being dispatched to find him. Even though Callum tried to keep his focus on studying, he couldn’t help but feel agitated as days went by without news of his father being seen. His mental state plummeted, and he grew withdrawn from reality as days turned to weeks, his father still gone.
He could still remember the times when he locked himself in the school’s library, searching the web to find any news or reports of his father's whereabouts, but as he searched for days on end, only one thing kept popping up from the newsletters. His father, Eric Hurst Foster, went missing in his own home. There were no struggles in the house, the CCTV didn’t see him on any of the roads or stores in the town they lived in, he just seemed to have vanished into thin air.
The news ate away at Callum, and his friends that he’d made during the time gave their support to keep him from spiraling out of control. However, even with their support, Callum’s worries over his dad never went away, hence why he threw himself into work. Going to part-time jobs and studying is the only way to keep his mind from blowing. He did this until he finished university and found a job to stay afloat.
This went on for years until he’s come to accept that his father may never be found. With nothing to ground him in their old home, he decided to explore the world, thinking that one day, he might find a lead to the whereabouts of his dad.
Months turned to years as he worked tirelessly in multiple jobs. From being a mechanic, electrician, cook, waiter, and many more to count, Callum went on a work frenzy. He made a plan to scour the states as a freelancer, living in his BMW pick-up truck that was given to him by one of his friends. He stayed in each state for a few months, meeting new people and making some friends along the way. They sent their well wishes to Callum as they knew that he was still trying to find his missing father.
Years went by as he made his way back to California. He had gone and explored every state, and yet no news of his father came to light. The case had gone cold, and it was up to Callum to find any clues to this mystery. His mind has told him to give up the search, and multiple friends have given him consolation as they knew that his father would never be found, but Callum persevered.
It was during this time that he found himself as a mover, the same job that his father had before he disappeared. He had just come back to California after getting the job, and he was about to go check in for his first day when a sudden downpour of rain covered the skies of the city. It was only coincidental that he was near that coffee shop, and it was coincidental that only two customers were present there. He and his future girlfriend turned accomplice to his murder.
The rest of his memories went by as he continued to float in the abyss. From the time of their first years in a relationship to meeting Jake for the first time in that apartment to when he taught PE and History in a school in Minnesota. Everything went by as Callum went from one memory to another until he felt something.
A chill ran down his spine as an indescribable dread manifested in his mind. He knew not why he felt this way, and he felt himself tearing at the seams as a slit of light showed itself in the void. He was then pulled into the light, senses coming back after he spent his time in the abyss for what felt like days. And with a flash, he is back in the same hunched-over position he was in when he was stabbed in the back.
Callum can’t help but laugh as he finally could see again. Trees surrounded his vision, with wild grass carpeting the ground. But before he could truly see the world, he felt a sharp pain in his back. With his body remembering that he was injured, he felt himself sweat profusely as he bled, painting the flowers under him red. And yet he didn’t panic.
After all that time reminiscing, he finally gave in and let death come to him. He fell on his back, sending another wave of pain coursing through his body, cursing under his breath as he regretted not laying himself down slowly. And as he looked to the sky, he felt himself getting colder and colder.
Callum felt at peace as he stared at the clouds above him. The sound of the wind and the rustling of leaves helped him come to terms that he was truly dying. He’d thought about death a lot. During his time when he was a kid, and when he was depressed after his father went missing. But the peace he felt for only a few moments as emotions came crashing down.
He felt himself tear up as he came to terms with his current situation. He would never have a chance to marry the girl in his life. He would never have a chance to have his own children and see them grow. He would never have a chance to be a father. And he would never have a chance to grow old with the people he loved around him.
As he thought of these things, the floodgates opened. Streams of tears fell down his cheeks as he sobbed in his dying state. He could only put his hands over his eyes to stop it from flowing, an action that felt challenging as his body became fatigued from all the blood loss. The crying only hastened his death as he felt his breath escape him, his lungs labored and filled with blood as the stab had punctured it.
Minutes went by as Callum felt himself grow tired and tired. And as he closed his eyes, Callum’s heart slowed and slowed as his body has a lack of blood to pump. His breathing grew shallower with each second until his body gave way and stopped altogether.
Callum died at the age of 34, stabbed in the back by his best friend with his girlfriend being an accomplice for his murder. He died from blood loss as his body colored the ground red.
Callum waited and waited to feel his consciousness fade as he welcomed death to greet him. And as the second grew…
'…Wait.'
His consciousness never faded away.

Hi all, I have:
-1 Novarel, exp Mar 2025
-1 Ganirelix, exp Oct 2026
-2 Cetrotide, exp Dec 2024 (properly refrigerated)
-1 Cetrotide, exp Nov 2024 (properly refrigerated but fell to the back of the fridge and froze for 24 hours before I noticed)
~about 75 or 100 IU of follistim, refrigerated and unexpired but all donated to me and opened by the person before me (she froze in Apr 2024)
-4 empty follistim/gonal cartridges, refrigerated properly, unexpired and opened by me in May - for 900 IU they give you about 100 IU extra - I read on a chain that some people make use of these
-Tons of supplies for all of it - pens, needles, sharps container, alcohol wipes etc
Pickup only- Brooklyn preferred

Hi all, I have:
-1 Novarel, exp Mar 2025
-1 Ganirelix, exp Oct 2026
-2 Cetrotide, exp Dec 2024 (properly refrigerated)
-1 Cetrotide, exp Nov 2024 (properly refrigerated but fell to the back of the fridge and froze for 24 hours before I noticed)
~about 75 or 100 IU of follistim, refrigerated and unexpired but all donated to me and opened by the person before me (she froze in Apr 2024)
-4 empty follistim/gonal cartridges, refrigerated properly, unexpired and opened by me in May - for 900 IU they give you about 100 IU extra - I read on a chain that some people make use of these
-Tons of supplies for all of it - pens, needles, sharps container, alcohol wipes etc
Pickup only- Brooklyn preferred

Hi all, I have:
-1 Novarel, exp Mar 2025
-1 Ganirelix, exp Oct 2026
-2 Cetrotide, exp Dec 2024 (properly refrigerated)
-1 Cetrotide, exp Nov 2024 (properly refrigerated but fell to the back of the fridge and froze for 24 hours before I noticed)
~about 75 or 100 IU of follistim, refrigerated and unexpired but all donated to me and opened by the person before me (she froze in Apr 2024)
-4 empty follistim/gonal cartridges, refrigerated properly, unexpired and opened by me in May - for 900 IU they give you about 100 IU extra - I read on a chain that some people make use of these
-Tons of supplies for all of it - pens, needles, sharps container, alcohol wipes etc
Pickup only- Brooklyn preferred