Best Pizza in Olympia Wa Are you ready to embark on a mouthwatering journey through the pizza paradise of Olympia, WA? Well, buckle up, because we're about to take you on a delectable adventure to discover the absolute best pizzerias in town.From the authentic flavors of Pizzeria La Gitana to the family-friendly atmosphere of Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor and the modern twist at Vics Pizzeria, we've got you covered.So sit back, relax, and get ready to satisfy your pizza cravings like never before. Let's dive in!Key TakeawaysPizzeria La Gitana is known as one of the best pizza places in Olympia, with must-try items like Pesto sauce and Prosciutto San Daniele pizza.Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor offers great food since 1972, with fresh ingredients used in all dishes. It's a perfect place for a fun family dining experience with arcade games.Vics Pizzeria is downtown Olympia's best pizza with a modern twist, offering delicious pizza and a friendly staff. Dogs are welcome on the patio, and vegetarian artichoke slices and gluten-free crust are recommended.Old School Pizzeria serves New York-style pizza since 1995, with freshly made pizzas with garden-fresh ingredients. Gluten-free options are available, and the must-try pizzas are the Old School pizza and vegetarian pizza.Pizzeria La GitanaWe absolutely love Pizzeria La Gitana for its authentic Italian cuisine and cozy atmosphere. When you step inside the restaurant, you're immediately transported to a charming Italian trattoria. The warm lighting, rustic decor, and soft music create a romantic ambiance that's perfect for a date night or a special celebration.One of the things that sets Pizzeria La Gitana apart is its commitment to authentic Italian dining. The menu features a variety of traditional Italian dishes, made with the freshest ingredients and prepared with care. From the moment you take your first bite, you can taste the passion and expertise that goes into each dish.The staff at Pizzeria La Gitana is extremely knowledgeable and friendly. They're always happy to offer recommendations and help you navigate the menu. Whether you're in the mood for a classic Margherita pizza or want to try something more adventurous like the Prosciutto San Daniele pizza, they'll guide you towards the perfect choice.When it comes to safety, Pizzeria La Gitana goes above and beyond. The restaurant follows strict hygiene protocols to ensure the safety of its guests. The staff wears masks and gloves, and all surfaces are regularly sanitized. Additionally, the restaurant has implemented social distancing measures, with tables spaced apart to create a safe dining experience.Dirty Daves Pizza ParlorWhen it comes to Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor, we can't help but appreciate their commitment to using fresh, high-quality ingredients in their pizzas. The flavors really shine through, making each bite a delicious experience.Not only that, but the family-friendly atmosphere and arcade games make it a great place to bring the kids for a fun dining experience.And with popular menu choices like the Meat Lovers pizza and Italian sub, there's something for everyone to enjoy at Dirty Daves.Fresh Ingredients and FlavorsAlthough Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor has been serving great food since 1972, what sets it apart is the use of fresh ingredients in all of their dishes. When it comes to sourcing their ingredients, Dirty Daves goes above and beyond to ensure that only the freshest and highest quality ingredients are used in their pizzas.From locally sourced vegetables to premium meats, they're committed to providing a safe and delicious dining experience. The result is a menu filled with unique flavor combinations that are sure to satisfy any pizza lover's cravings.Whether you're in the mood for their classic Meat Lovers pizza or want to try something more adventurous like their Mediterranean-inspired Greek pizza, you can trust that each bite will be bursting with fresh and vibrant flavors.Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor truly delivers a taste experience that's unmatched in Olympia.Family-Friendly Atmosphere and GamesAt Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor, we always create a fun and family-friendly atmosphere with arcade games for everyone to enjoy. Our goal is to provide a safe and enjoyable environment where families can come together and have a great time while enjoying our delicious pizza. We understand the importance of catering to kids, which is why we offer pizza making classes for kids. This interactive experience allows children to get creative and make their own pizza under the guidance of our skilled chefs. It's a great opportunity for them to learn about the pizza making process and have fun at the same time. Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor is proud to be considered one of the best pizza chains in Olympia, and we strive to maintain that reputation by providing exceptional service and a memorable dining experience for the whole family.Game NameDescriptionAge RecommendationPac-ManClassic arcade game where you navigate through a maze, avoiding ghosts and collecting pointsAll agesAir HockeyFast-paced game where you compete against friends or family to score goals using a puck and malletsAll agesDance Dance RevolutionDance-based game where you follow the arrows on the screen to the beat of the musicAll agesSkee-BallRoll balls up a ramp to score points in various holes to win tickets for prizesAll agesCome and join us at Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor for a fantastic family outing filled with great food and fun games!Popular Menu ChoicesWe absolutely love the variety of popular menu choices at Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor. Here are five mouthwatering options that will surely satisfy your pizza cravings:The Classic Pepperoni: This all-time favorite never disappoints. The crispy pepperoni combined with gooey cheese and tangy tomato sauce is a match made in pizza heaven.The BBQ Chicken: For those who enjoy a little sweetness with their savory, this pizza is a must-try. The tender chunks of chicken smothered in tangy barbecue sauce, topped with melted cheese and caramelized onions, create a flavor explosion in every bite.The Veggie Delight: Loaded with fresh and colorful vegetables, this pizza is a vegetarian's dream come true. From crunchy bell peppers to juicy tomatoes, each bite is bursting with wholesome goodness.The Hawaiian: A controversial choice, but one that has stood the test of time. The combination of sweet pineapple, salty ham, and melted cheese creates a unique flavor profile that's both refreshing and satisfying.The Buffalo Chicken: For those who like a little kick, this pizza is the perfect choice. Tangy buffalo sauce, tender chicken, and melted cheese come together to create a spicy and flavorful experience.At Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor, you can always count on popular pizza toppings and unique pizza flavors that will leave you wanting more.Vics PizzeriaWhen it comes to Vics Pizzeria, one of the things that sets them apart is their variety of local favorite pizza toppings. From classic pepperoni to unique combinations like artichoke and feta, they've something to please every palate.Additionally, their dog-friendly outdoor seating makes it a great spot to enjoy a slice with your furry friend.And for those with dietary restrictions, Vics Pizzeria offers delicious gluten-free pizza options that don't compromise on taste.Local Favorite Pizza ToppingsOur favorite pizza toppings at Vics Pizzeria include pepperoni, mushrooms, and black olives. These classic toppings never disappoint and add a burst of flavor to every bite.But if you're feeling adventurous, Vics Pizzeria also offers unique pizza toppings that will elevate your pizza experience to the next level. Here are five of our top picks:Truffle oil: Indulge in the luxurious and earthy flavor of truffle oil drizzled over your pizza. It adds a touch of elegance and sophistication to each slice.Feta cheese: Crumble some tangy and creamy feta cheese on top of your pizza for a delightful burst of flavor. It pairs perfectly with the other toppings and adds a unique twist.BBQ chicken: For those who love a bit of sweetness and smokiness, try the BBQ chicken topping. The tender chicken, tangy BBQ sauce, and melted cheese create a mouthwatering combination.Artichoke hearts: Add a touch of Mediterranean goodness to your pizza with artichoke hearts. Their slightly tangy and nutty flavor pairs well with other toppings, creating a delicious and satisfying pizza.Fresh basil: The fragrant and refreshing taste of fresh basil is a perfect complement to any pizza. It adds a pop of color and a hint of herbal goodness.Vics Pizzeria not only offers the best pizza in Olympia but also provides a variety of unique toppings that will satisfy any pizza lover's cravings. Whether you stick with the classics or venture into the realm of unique flavors, Vics Pizzeria has something for everyone.Dog-Friendly Outdoor SeatingAt Vics Pizzeria, you can enjoy our delicious pizza with your furry friend in our dog-friendly outdoor seating area. We understand that your pet is a part of your family, and we want to create a safe and enjoyable environment for both you and your four-legged companion. Our outdoor seating area is spacious and comfortable, providing ample space for your dog to relax while you savor our mouthwatering pizzas. To ensure the safety of all our customers, we kindly ask that you keep your dog on a leash and clean up after them. We take pride in being a dog-friendly establishment and look forward to welcoming you and your furry friend to Vics Pizzeria.ProsConsSpacious outdoor seating areaNo indoor seating for dogsComfortable environmentLimited menu options for dogsLeashed dogs allowedResponsible pet ownership requiredWhen it comes to local pizzeria recommendations that offer dog-friendly outdoor seating, Vics Pizzeria is the top choice. The combination of delicious pizza, friendly staff, and a welcoming atmosphere makes it the perfect spot to enjoy a meal with your furry friend. So grab a slice of our mouthwatering pizza, sit back, and relax with your dog by your side at Vics Pizzeria.Gluten-Free Pizza OptionsFor those of us with gluten sensitivities, Vics Pizzeria offers a variety of delicious gluten-free pizza options. Here are some reasons why Vics Pizzeria is a great choice for gluten-free pizza:Gluten-free crust alternatives: Vics Pizzeria understands the importance of providing options for those who can't consume gluten. They offer a gluten-free crust that's made with high-quality ingredients and has a great texture.Wide range of toppings: Vics Pizzeria doesn't skimp on the toppings when it comes to their gluten-free pizzas. You can choose from a variety of delicious options such as fresh vegetables, savory meats, and flavorful cheeses. They've something to satisfy every taste preference.Dedicated gluten-free preparation: Vics Pizzeria takes precautions to avoid cross-contamination. They've separate preparation areas and utensils for their gluten-free pizzas, ensuring that your meal is safe to consume.Knowledgeable staff: The staff at Vics Pizzeria is well-informed about gluten sensitivities and can provide guidance on the best gluten-free pizza options for you. They're attentive to your needs and can answer any questions you may have about their ingredients and preparation methods.Delicious and satisfying: Despite being gluten-free, Vics Pizzeria's pizzas are full of flavor and have a satisfying texture. You won't feel like you're missing out on anything when you indulge in their gluten-free pizza options.Now that we've covered Vics Pizzeria's gluten-free pizza options, let's move on to Casa Mia, another fantastic pizza place in Olympia.Casa MiaSince Casa Mia has been a family-owned restaurant chain since 1952, they have a long-standing reputation for serving freshly made pizzas with high-quality ingredients. This popular Italian pizzeria has become a go-to spot for families in Olympia, offering a range of classic and innovative pizzas that are sure to satisfy any craving.Popular Italian PizzasDescriptionSafety RatingCasa Mia SpecialThis classic pizza is a crowd favorite, featuring a delicious combination of pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, onions, and green peppers. The flavors blend together perfectly, creating a mouthwatering experience.5/5MargheritaFor those seeking a simpler yet incredibly flavorful option, the Margherita pizza is a must-try. Topped with fresh tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, basil, and a drizzle of olive oil, this pizza will transport you straight to Italy.5/5Quattro FormaggiCheese lovers rejoice! Casa Mia's Quattro Formaggi pizza is a cheese lover's dream come true. This pizza is loaded with a blend of four delicious cheeses - mozzarella, fontina, gorgonzola, and parmesan - creating a rich and creamy delight.5/5Veggie DelightIf you're looking for a healthier option without compromising on taste, the Veggie Delight pizza is the way to go. Topped with an array of fresh vegetables such as bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, and black olives, this pizza is packed with flavor and nutrients.5/5Casa Mia understands the importance of safety, especially when it comes to dining out. They prioritize cleanliness and hygiene, ensuring that their facilities are well-maintained and regularly sanitized. Their staff is trained to follow strict safety protocols, providing customers with a worry-free dining experience.Whether you're craving a classic pizza or looking to try something new and innovative, Casa Mia has got you covered. With their dedication to quality ingredients, family-friendly spaces, and a wide variety of delicious pizzas, it's no wonder they are considered one of the best pizza places in Olympia. So, the next time you're in the mood for a satisfying slice of pizza, head over to Casa Mia and indulge in their mouthwatering creations.Old School PizzeriaWhen we think of authentic New York-style pizza in Olympia, Old School Pizzeria immediately comes to mind. This iconic pizzeria has been serving up delicious slices since 1995, and they consistently deliver on flavor and quality. Here are five reasons why Old School Pizzeria is a must-visit for pizza lovers in Olympia:Best pizza crust: Old School Pizzeria takes pride in their perfectly crispy and chewy crust. Baked to perfection in their brick oven, every bite is a delight. The crust provides a sturdy base for the generous toppings, adding a satisfying texture to each slice.Unique pizza toppings: Old School Pizzeria offers a wide range of toppings that go beyond the traditional. From their signature Old School pizza with pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, and black olives, to their vegetarian pizza with fresh tomatoes, basil, and mozzarella, there's something for everyone. They also have creative options like their BBQ chicken pizza and Greek pizza, which are bursting with bold flavors.Freshly made pizzas with garden-fresh ingredients: Old School Pizzeria prioritizes using the freshest ingredients in their pizzas. From the tangy tomato sauce to the gooey mozzarella cheese, each component is carefully selected to ensure a delicious and satisfying pizza experience.Gluten-free options available: For those with dietary restrictions, Old School Pizzeria offers gluten-free crusts that are just as tasty as their regular ones. This allows everyone to enjoy their mouthwatering pizzas without compromising on flavor or quality.Retro decor and old-school arcade games: Stepping into Old School Pizzeria feels like a trip back in time. The retro decor and old-school arcade games create a fun and nostalgic atmosphere that adds to the overall dining experience.With their best pizza crust, unique pizza toppings, and commitment to using fresh ingredients, Old School Pizzeria is a standout in the Olympia pizza scene. It's time to move on to the next stop on our pizza journey: Brewery City Pizza.Brewery City PizzaBut we can't forget about Brewery City Pizza, where you can find some of the best pizza in Olympia. Situated in a cozy and welcoming atmosphere, Brewery City Pizza offers a unique dining experience that combines delicious pizza with craft beer pairings. The restaurant takes pride in using fresh ingredients and offering customizable orders to cater to individual preferences.One of the standout features of Brewery City Pizza is their weekly specials. Every week, they introduce new and exciting pizza creations that showcase a variety of flavors and ingredients. From unique combinations like BBQ chicken with bacon and pineapple to classic favorites like pepperoni and sausage, there's always something for everyone to enjoy. These weekly specials allow customers to try something different each time they visit, keeping the dining experience fresh and exciting.For those who appreciate a good craft beer, Brewery City Pizza is the perfect place to indulge. They've a wide selection of local and regional craft beers on tap, carefully curated to complement the flavors of their pizzas. Whether you prefer a hoppy IPA or a smooth amber ale, the knowledgeable staff at Brewery City Pizza can help you find the perfect beer to pair with your pizza.When it comes to safety, Brewery City Pizza ensures that all health and sanitation guidelines are strictly followed. The restaurant maintains a clean and hygienic environment, and the staff is trained to prioritize the well-being of their customers. From the moment you step foot inside, you can feel confident that Brewery City Pizza is committed to providing a safe and enjoyable dining experience.I.talia PizzeriaWe often visit I.talia Pizzeria for their delicious organic pizza and gelato. It's one of our favorite pizzerias in Olympia, and here are a few reasons why:Organic pizza ingredients: I.talia Pizzeria takes pride in using only the freshest and highest quality organic ingredients in their pizzas. From the locally sourced vegetables to the hormone-free meats, every bite of their pizza is bursting with flavor and goodness.Green Power and sustainability practices: I.talia Pizzeria is committed to sustainability and reducing their carbon footprint. They've implemented green power practices such as using solar panels to generate electricity and utilizing energy-efficient appliances. Additionally, their packaging is eco-friendly, made from recycled materials.Kid-friendly atmosphere: I.talia Pizzeria is a great place to bring the whole family. Kids can even make their own pizzas, which is always a hit. The staff is friendly and accommodating, ensuring a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone.Wide selection of organic ingredients: At I.talia Pizzeria, you can choose from a variety of organic toppings to create your perfect pizza. From fresh tomatoes and basil to locally sourced mushrooms and peppers, there's something to satisfy every taste bud.Delicious gelato: After enjoying a mouthwatering pizza, don't forget to indulge in some of I.talia Pizzeria's homemade gelato. Made with organic ingredients, their gelato is creamy, rich, and the perfect way to end your meal.When it comes to organic pizza and sustainable practices, I.talia Pizzeria is a top choice in Olympia. With their commitment to quality ingredients and eco-friendly practices, you can enjoy a delicious meal while knowing that you're supporting a pizzeria that values both your taste buds and the environment.ConclusionAs we conclude our journey through Olympia's best pizzerias, we can't help but feel like we've discovered a slice of heaven. Each establishment holds its own unique charm and flavors, offering a taste of Italy right here in Washington.From the romantic ambiance of Pizzeria La Gitana to the family-friendly atmosphere of Dirty Daves Pizza Parlor, there's something for everyone.So go ahead, indulge in these culinary delights and let your taste buds soar. Olympia truly is a pizza lover's paradise.

This is late, but my friend and I went to the for-your-consideration event for RWRB. It was a trip.
But it was a work function first. Members of the TV Academy—and their plus-ones, if they received one—gathered in a studio in the sweaty belly button of Hollywood. If you were a normal Angeleno like u/sixfivesteve (the friend), you sat in your car blasting the AC while the valet line bumped forward one car length at a time. If you were from a walking city, you pushed past the slow-moving tourists, hoped the flies circling a mysterious stench didn’t lay eggs on you, and checked in with an attendant who wore a concerning amount of black for someone whose job was to stand in direct sun.
There was a (life-changing) screening of the movie, a panel, and a reception. There was also retail politics. Here’s what happened.

Whoever put together the playlist knew what they were doing

The vibe before the screening was jolly. There was a whole bathroom conversation about 1) therapeutic cannabis, because you’ve gotta, and 2) people everyone has run into.
Ushers handed out mini-servings of popcorn that felt stingy as hell but were probably just nutritionist-recommended serving sizes. Steve grabbed candy and water that came in slightly less environmentally disastrous packaging than the stuff you’d get from most grocery stores.
Whoever put together the playlist had done their homework, by which I mean they’ve spent time on the non-broey part of the internet.
This is where I tell you that the event featured strip club music, by which I mean they played “Pony” by Ginuwine. Before and after the screening. It was as if whoever set up the playlist knew that some attendees’ brains—and bits—might explode, reconstitute themselves, and implode again under stimulus (the movie), work event be damned.

The screening was a case for seeing movies in theaters for the sound. Because…

You could hear the beginning of the blow job.
You could hear the beginning of the blow job.
You could hear the beginning of the blow job.
In the space of about a second, I went from living in a world in which that scene had a lil’ zipper sound to one where the zip was followed by a flat, wet drag. The sound had texture. It almost had temperature.
Y’all, I am forever changed. Always see movies in the theater. Nolan, Tarantino, et al have talked about this. They’re right.
Listen to this man before he teaches you a lesson.
Something else I’d seen but never before heard while watching the movie in home setups: Bea says “no!” when Henry declines Alex’s call in the meeting with Philip, Tommy, and other palace staff. She doesn’t just mouth it.
Her interjection interrupts Philip mid-sentence, who glares at her and says, “As I was saying…”
It’s also just fun to hear the audience’s reactions. Some of the laugh lines:

• “You’ve been wanting him to dick you down for years.”
• “How many guys have you been with?” “Whoa.”
• “He is. 😏” An audience member let out a sound like a hyena choking itself with a belt.
• “I’m down.”
• “I mean, who says ‘make love’ anymore? Are we gonna listen to Lana del Rey while we do it?” You guys, he said do it. Because I'm twelve.
• “The B in LGBTQ is not a silent letter.” Man, politicians’ kids must hear all kinds of pamphlet-speak at home.
• “Little lord fuckleroy.” Sarah Shahi is going from lesbian icon to overall queer icon with this role. Zahra/Sarah got massive applause during the end credits.
• “We have got to get you a book on English history.”

Somehow no one laughed about Stephen Fry’s pronunciation of homosexual. Hummusseggsual. It’s hummus but it’s also seggs-ual.
Speaking of sexual, the crowd held its breath during the sex scenes.
Emmy voters have watched plenty of sex scenes with their colleagues, but after the bravely-repressing-a-wobble acknowledgement of I owe you an explanation, after ~very bad things~ in Alex's room, after the phrase “make love”—which deserves to be not just roasted but incinerated—the Paris sex scene was…relief? Revel? Revelation?
Look at me trying to talk around the effect the scene (may have) had on the room. People were off-gassing oxytocin. Estradiol. Testosterone. Since it was a work event, the weight and texture of the hush was what you’d get if everyone on a group camping trip was trying to discreetly watch porn. (To paraphrase the dad from Easy A, high-end porn—for governors and athletes, but porn nonetheless.) But I project.

Uma Thurman did an Ariana Huffington laugh during the panel

I laughed and laughed and laughed.
What should I say about the panel? That everyone’s features were somehow both full and sharp enough to thin-slice the cured meat of your choice? That Taylor Zakhar-Perez made a small breeze every time he blinked? That Nicholas Galitzine was a diffident dumpling? That Uma Thurman was an intellect? That Rachel Hilson was lithe and and fresh-faced and ready for any cosmetics campaign you threw at her—which, incidentally, has always described Uma Thurman? That Matthew López was extremely cute? That Greg Berlanti was the dad/uncle some of your friends wanted as a mentor and others had wholesome crushes on? That Sarah Schechter was the friend’s cool older sister made good? That if you put the RWRB cast into an early Almodóvar movie, the result would be credible?
Whatever I can say about the panel, you can get more straightforward coverage and footage of it elsewhere, including this subreddit. (Check out the post from the woman who got so horny from watching the movie that she started going after her husband nonstop.) I did a search on Tumblr for “RWRB FYC panel” for you. You’ll get Galitzine saying “the throes of love.” You’ll get TZP talking about matcha. You’ll get Casey McQuiston—that perfectly cast nonbinary creator-god of the RWRB universe—describing their brush with psychological collapse when TZP tried to have a conversation with them while in costume as Alex Claremont-Diaz. Enjoy.

The campaign trail is paved with selfies

Campaigning for nominations—and eventually, awards—is not so different from running for public office. The panel ended and everyone was set loose on the panelists and the “immersive for-your-consideration experience.” (Sure.)
Getting to the cater waiters to pinch mini-tacos, meh crabcakes, fish and chips with tartar sauce instead of vinegar (why?), and tiny cake cubes was like wading upstream. The crowd was moving in the opposite direction. Why?
…oh.
Galitzine was taking photos with people. Elsewhere in the immersive whositwhatsit, TZP was doing the same thing with a swarm of his own.
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I’d thought they were on display during the panel, but no. This was what they were there for. They were there to shake hands, talk shop briefly—with occasional promises to follow up later—and take selfies. The reward for all this would (theoretically) be nominations and votes. This was a campaign stop. On-theme for RWRB. Cue montage of Alex Claremont-Diaz making fundraising calls.
Can you get a charley horse in your face? I bet the actors had them, but that’s campaign life. Forward Together and all that.
Matthew López and the producers wandered the floor. At one point, I heard Casey McQuiston tell a small group about how they didn’t have any particular in with agents or publishers. It often is about flinging yourself out there, whatever you want to do.

A vote for RWRB is a vote for softness (stop reading here to avoid egghead content)

While we’re speaking in campaign terms, who and what is RWRB for? It’s for people who love love. It’s for people who love fun—who are fun, dammit. It’s for people with uomosexual tendencies (uomo = Italian for “man”). It’s for the occasional lucky straight guy. Most of all, it’s a refuge from straight-guy culture.
Here’s what I mean. The two RWRB panels and the Roast of Tom Brady happened in the same week-long time frame. If you’re reading this, you’re almost definitely in the tank with RWRB. The Roast is straight-guy culture cranked up to eleventy billion by comparison.
If we go by the Roast, straight-guy culture looks like big men the color of medium-rare steak yelling dick jokes from the dais—but using the less funny and more aggressive and self-regarding “cock” instead. It looks like Gronk pretending he can’t read and using Kim Kardashian’s genitalia to make a beef pun. It looks like Nikki Glaser, the token straight-woman comedian, being a good sport while the men in attendance called her ugly.
Don’t get me wrong. I watched and laughed. A good dick joke takes skill, and some of them were damn good. I even thought Julian Edelman was hot for 20 minutes. But the tonal difference between the Roast and the RWRB event—to say nothing of RWRB itself—was jarring. Straight-guy masculine culture is so committed to not being soft. Don’t go soft is basically its motto.
Meanwhile, RWRB is about—among other things—softness. Henry Car-Crash-of-Last-Names gives the object of his attraction the up-and-down, but in a way that’s more endearing than objectifying. He doesn’t do the hard stare. He’s all-in on Byron, Austen, Zadie Smith, and…Streisand. Unlike Gronk, Henry can read, and he reads with relish.
So does Alex, of course. The American is sweet and proactive. When he develops feelings for a friend with (many) benefits, he’s matter-of-fact about it and doesn’t get defensive or evade his emotions.
In other words, Alex and Henry’s masculinity is soft. Soft masculinity acknowledges the dimensions of a person beyond how well they can slam into other men (sporty or sexual) or women (sexual). For a lot of people, soft masculinity is a fantasy and a gift.
It can be a gift to anyone. Look at Steve. He finds that version of masculinity intoxicating, even as someone who’s already a winner of the masculinity lottery, at least as defined by large parts of straight-guy culture. He’s white and tall and strong and has hoes (houses), not in every area code—sorry, rappers who talk about that kind of thing—but some good ones. He loves RWRB. Everything about it. (Lest you thirsty beasts start having big thoughts about him, he’s married.)
Steve even inserted himself into the height contest/debate Galitzine and TZP sometimes have for lulz. He had a “you’re wearing lifts” conversation of his own. Not with TZP. With Galitzine, who joked about wearing lifts himself. It was still not enough to top Steve. (How funny would it be if this is when I reveal that Steve is Conan O’Brien? To be clear, he’s not. Besides, Conan O’Brien is sixfourconan.)
— — — —
The next night, while Steve and I were still catatonic from staying up until alarming hours, another panel took place in front of a crowd of people who didn’t need to consider anything about RWRB. They were already real-ass, excited fans who saw Alex and Henry—and for some of them, Galitzine and TZP—as secular saints of cheerful-romantic-triumphant horniness. Avatars of the kinds of guys you could have a crush on in middle- and high school without raising alarms (unless you were a boy being raised by homophobes, in which case I’m sorry).
The audience on that second night got the news of a sequel from Matthew López, who spoke directly to them from the stage. They cheered and whooped and began their vigil for round two. Sí, se puede.

obviously, warning for major spoilers
first off: here is the completed progress chart! i haven't been able to find a progress chart online that contains all of the new spells and enemies, so here's mine all stitched together for your convenience.
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as you can see i haven't gotten the spell refresh mimic, but thanks to the bug where the left and right facing sentries count as 2 separate enemies i technically have 100% enemy progress (this does give the steam achievement). that's good enough for me. it'll spawn naturally one day, i dont need to waste hours opening chests in parallel worlds when i can open chests just as frequently by playing the game normally.
like any god run i started by breaking the reroll machines. you get about 1000 free rerolls, so once i got all the perks i wanted i spent the last of the rerolls getting extra health perks, optimizing by only rolling if there are at least 5 perks to roll. i got to about 100 trillion health before i ran out of free rerolls, then by the end i had about 800 trillion health from picking up naturally spawned extra health perks. i also duped my perks to get more shields and lukki mutations for extra long legs (cessation makes perk duping much easier and safer)
by the end of the game i had:

• 6 lukki mutations
• 40 greed perks
• 10 shields
• 8 extra lives
• 23 stainless armor (i think you only need 17, but i duped)

the giga holy bomb was the last (and only, for this run) spell that i needed to unlock. I failed once, accidentally killed toveri JUST before getting to the avarice diamond because i got stuck on the blood thanks to freeze field while bringing him through the cursed rock. i just grabbed another one from a parallel world. the wand was full-firerate long distance cast+null shot+double cast+homebringer+deadly heal. also, toveri makes and effective digging solution if you're going straight up or down.
Unlocking giga holy bomb
after a loooooong time gathering everything i needed, i went through and grabbed all 33 orbs (i used orb atlas since i needed the great chest coordinates anyway, but i have gotten 33 orbs without orb atlas before), i did the safe method to get the 34th orb. i wanted to try doing it modless but constantly restarting the game to check the player.xml file was annoying, so i just used the position display mod
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then went down to grab the sampo! or in this case, the Amulet of Yendor. technically i didn't need to kill kolmi, but i did is anyway as a victory lap. it took 30 minutes to kill him. i probably could have built a higher damage wand, but i had gotten kind of sick of wand tinkering.
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https://preview.redd.it/6tgs9t7zru1d1.png?width=3840&format=png&auto=webp&s=f739d6bf2909342022d57e1f8b6a3651cd13312b
killing 34 orb kolmi
and that's that! i completed the work, waited 50 minutes for my polymorph immunity to run out, and used a master of vulnerability to kill myself. (note that at about 150 hours in i reset my save bc i played with cheatgui and accidentally unlocked some spells, so my actual win and death counts are a little higher. i'm not sure by how much, though.)
https://preview.redd.it/d3dp0kisvu1d1.png?width=3840&format=png&auto=webp&s=cc4bd63a99457f105b3a77807c86913a2d64215f
bling acquired
this was my final wand setup:
https://preview.redd.it/p79brffkju1d1.png?width=3840&format=png&auto=webp&s=b252ab84a387a78c4a8b3684923fe9018cd5430f

1. combat wand, i'm fond of the music note builds. player-safe native piercing, baby!
2. teleport + heal + digging wand
3. basic utility and storage wand, the upwards larpa + black hole is great for clearing out a lot of space very quickly and for digging to the surface more quickly
4. infinite lifetime platforms! previously this was my long distance travel wand.

this isn't true 100%, i still have a handful of achievement pillars left (i still haven't beaten nightmare mode!), but i'm happy that i finally have all the steam achievements (and the bling). i think i'm going to focus on streaks for a while, since i've somehow never managed to win twice in a row. getting good enough to win consistently is a different skill-set than being able to break the game (which i would say isn't actually very hard), so i still have some work to do.
that's all! thanks for reading :)