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So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
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/storiesbykaren

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Davids (Master 1) 1.1 Example House David's Personal House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / y4smvo49kmuf722kfzzw2 / ABFupxIpPjKv0vmUd7rxQ9A ? rlkey = a6bhk3df580yr1at4vs1szsjl & dl = 0 1.2 Lifes System Provision ENHANCE 1.3 Chunks Bar Grill Simalcrafood 1.4 Exterior Houses 1.4.1 Exterior House Kitchen 1.4.2 Exterior House Bed 1.4.3 Exterior House Hidden Toilet 1.4.4 2 Extra Exterior Houses 1.4.5 Full Pay To Play Casino 1.4.6 Trade with Our Minerals Dealer 1.4.7 Terrabrew Coffee Hidden Packet 1.4.8 Tranquiltea THC Spice 1.4.9 Use our Garbage Bin to Throw Away A Terrabrew Cup 1.5.0 Vend with the Terrabrew Machine some Fats And Weed (Coffee) 1.5.1 Spaceport Transit, Transit to Another Port 1.5.2 Example House Fred Falke's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / qg0z8tppgw0ojnv6zrl8z / ALcPH9JQjt0y0TTBVI2nvig ? rlkey = lmlb24is14pgouc2senxyqs4q & dl = 0 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 1.5.3 Exterior Cosmarium - Includes Outer Space Adventure 1.5.4 Interior 4 Bedroom House 1.5.5 Toilets To Upstairs 1.5.6 Cosmarium Access 1.5.7 Interior Den Accessible at Cosmarium 1.5.8 Cosmarium Includes Planets Display 1.5.8 Example House Keyanu's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 4q14v79pgg5sstq326dm0 / AFsD7QWvqv0-EnefhjuqWJ0 ? rlkey = csonjdhbhw5y065pcqu44bhp5 & dl = 0 1.5.9 Nice Lawn and Grill 1.6.0 Foyer Main Access 1.6.1 5 Bedroom Studio Included 1.6.2 Toilets Individual Every Room 1.6.3 Intrinsic Kitchen 1.6.4 Standard 16 Bar Oxygen 8 Lumen System 1.6.5 6 Unique Instruments In Studio and PC In Most Rooms 1.6.6 Clothes Stocked in Every Room 1.6.7 Payday's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / y5f4zeq9rqfxf9z2wvn3x / AF1XzGXYmhFLadEONmz9f60 ? rlkey = 947afvpm4ysgt1sl3rnzk7k1c & dl = 0 1.6.8 Dog Run 1.6.9 Intrinsic Grill 1.7.0 Foyer and Toilet for Foyer 1.7.1 Piano Room 1.7.2 Upstairs with Three Bedroom 1.7.3 Downstairs with Two Bedroom 1.7.4 Two Upstairs Bath 1.7.5 Standard 16 Bar Oxygen 8 Lumen System 1.7.6 Pingpong Table Included 1.7.7 Full Rock Tunnel To Dogland 1.7.8 Dogland Mailman and Dogland Delivery 1.7.9 PCs and Clothes Included 1.8.0 Science Coin Plus House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / th8s8y2cvm53v4ihjz7uf / AOpx9h9DweYWyg8oTURDb7Y ? rlkey = gazzoslez39f6tv43ckp7q82h & dl = 0 1.8.1 Full Back and Front Yard 1.8.2 Interior 3 Bedroom Upstairs 2 Bedroom Downstairs Classic Modern House 1.8.3 Kitchen With LIGHTS Smell 1.8.4 Full Penetrating Aroma Diffusor 1.8.5 Downstairs Bunker 1.8.6 Standard 16 Bar Pressure 8 Lumen Setup 1.8.7 Includes Credit Card Of 4000 Dollar Limit Tied to the Property 1.8.8 Includes Access token to local utilities and stores 1.8.9 Includes 1 Car Garage and street parking 1.9.0 Treasurer Martin's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / i25kajtfyq7rsbley4zcv / AD2UVKeX9RxIgErDuntigR0 ? rlkey = i8r6ykg6vsm1r4o7r5tu0spkw & dl = 0 1.9.1 4 Bedroom Fatboy Slim House 1.9.2 Private Toilets for Each Room 1.9.3 Community Secret Upstairs Gathering Area 1.9.4 Full 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 1.9.5 Includes Kitchen In Break Room 1.9.6 Clothes in Every Room 1.9.7 PC In Every Room 1.9.8 Music Area in Gathering Area 1.9.9 Stocked With Crew Connor, Duncan, Yung Bae, Ievan 2.0.0 Tweak's New House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 6gpljpd8w7xnk5qxsztux / AAcWFry56HLFgSFNipowiRg ? rlkey = 9dg7vuqr6dvebo6lowbataxys & dl = 0 2.0.1 Foyer and Backyard and Upstairs and Kitchen 2.0.2 Standard South Park Layout 2.0.3 Toy Chest Included in Bedroom 2.0.4 Upstairs Bathroom 2.0.5 Downstairs Television 2.0.6 Includes Parents Room 2.0.7 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 2.0.8 Full Plumbing System 2.0.9 Closet Included 2.1.0 Virtual Riot Energy Drink Contest Home https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 9tcvy80bq4gvngv7zew0j / AOAsl2olcanfLMIxKpJhbK4 ? rlkey = 6ur44i4wb14mmwjdhof4awqcw & dl = 0 2.1.1 Upstairs 4 Bedroom 4 Bath Downstairs Kitchen With Lawn 2.1.2 Included 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 2.1.3 Fitted for Contest Winner Ryan 2.1.4 Includes Interior Music Studio 2.1.5 Includes Rations At the Kitchen 2.1.6 Full House Lawn 2.1.7 Includes Virtual Riot Energy Drink Crate 2.1.8 Includes full Kitchen Cooking System 2.1.9 Does not include Pizza Box 2.2.0 First Edition Baths https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 070erahxtx6kheqkq7viv / h ? rlkey = 8vejr3pfkskq104e5da51ocgm & dl = 0 2.2.1 Full Ryuken Style Retreat 2.2.2 American Style 2.2.3 Hyaluronic Water Display 2.2.4 Multiple Accessible Toilets 2.2.5 Hostel Home Associated 2.2.6 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 2.2.7 Associated to Virtual Riot Energy Drink Contest House 2.2.8 Full Plumbing 2.2.9 Only Outdoor Pool 2.3.0 Mandelbrot's Portion https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 4rsa861mh57tv6ibiqc7f / AHer3vgPNYOdj8UR3q4atNI ? rlkey = sx4nhltlh6mqmzw8s9cbay4ei & dl = 0 2.3.1 Full 4 Bedroom 4 Bath Lakeside House 2.3.2 Intrinsic Music Studio 2.3.3 Standard 16 Bar Oxygen 8 Lumen System 2.3.4 Plumbing for Every Bath 2.3.5 Connector Upstairs Adjoiner 2.3.6 Included Medical Access 2.3.7 Clothes in Every Room 2.3.8 PC in Most Rooms 2.3.9 Reserved Canadian Graveyard Spot 2.4.0 Tim Garza's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / exy2mkx34e4vyyx3gm9zm / ANDv3_B38xt2wFxTfjpMvy8 ? rlkey = nzhtm8ozk9azxem7bgvcrx1pw & dl = 0 2.4.1 Nonstandard 14 Bar High Altitude 8 Lumen System 2.4.2 Comes with Additional House Patrick's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / g556jmzhsi70ikjcdsm8c / AOypud9QDtb5h5ELYoZQxxk ? rlkey = 7obp5svlq35q6kz7rw6ejhrer & dl = 0 2.4.3 Nonstandard 14 Bar High Altitude 8 Lumen System 2.4.4 4 Bedroom and 3 Bedroom House with 2 Bath and 1 Bath 2.4.5 Part of a development with further 2 Houses 2.4.6 Plumbing for Every Bath 2.4.7 Other two houses not for sale 2.4.8 Comes with Clothes in Every Bedroom and A PC In every bedroom 2.4.9 Comes with Kitchen in both house 2.5.0 KPOP House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 0gn89hioxlhy99hkeofl y / AOQJj6Q60JxCyfzn_Zqqh04 ? rlkey = 8997eg0yi4to9l05wocrnol53 & dl = 0 2.5.1 Kpop contest House, 4 Bedroom 4 Bath house with Upstairs Adjoiner 2.5.2 Plumbing for every baths 2.5.3 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 2.5.4 Comes with intrinsic music studio 2.5.5 Comes with clothes in every bedroom 2.5.6 Comes with PC in every bedroom 2.5.7 Comes with KPOP Marketing display tool 2.5.8 Comes with participation in radio contest 2.5.9 Music tape recorder not included 2.6.0 Intellisecure Headquarters https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / takyluondf4y22byxxkfk / AN6ShFOeGYooczDEjm8zt88 ? rlkey = 77dycju3q87ayh61ci4qlhu57 & dl = 0 2.6.1 A girl, Other Ryan, is getting surgery for her melanoma outside 2.6.2 The girl responds well to her melanoma surgery 2.6.3 There is an upstairs to the hospital 2.6.4 There are maybe 4 rooms to the hospital 2.6.5 There are toilets in each room side room 2.6.6 The girl presumably makes her way to beds in the hospital after surgery 2.6.7 There is a standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System throughout 2.6.8 There are various medical equipment needed for the girl in the main area 2.6.9 The girl might use the toilet upstairs behind the door 2.7.0 Fries' Sama-House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / zlrtcq60lnqxj7ic3cae9 / AFed_Pfio_u8Mv3_ktBn2iE ? rlkey = 5y095iaxti5w863uzuaoaa8iv & dl = 0 2.7.1 A 3 Bedroom 1 Bath Downstairs 2 Bedroom 1 Bath Upstairs House with a Dojo Outside 2.7.2 Some people have been partying in the basement 2.7.3 There is a standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System at high altitude indicating conditioned air 2.7.4 There is a toilet room in the dojo 2.7.5 There is a TV room with a TV in it 2.7.6 There is a PC and a TV in the Downstairs Bedroom 2.7.7 There is some crates of food near the kitchen 2.7.8 There is a downstairs kitchen 2.7.9 There is a whole downstairs area where Fries' Son has another bedroom and some couches 2.8.0 Borat's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / qv6mgav9tsizmepwmp8es / AMoiFypY85vOMfnKU1lwduY ? rlkey = muh8z5z7gfql71vb9b820bf4q & dl = 0 2.8.1 A very old house in kalmskya with the ownership of the town store 2.8.2 There is one toilet in the house 2.8.3 There is the neighbor's house 2.8.4 There is the store that borats family owns 2.8.5 The neighbors house has a toilet 2.8.6 Borat lives with his sister 2.8.7 There is standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System given at the house or elsewhere 2.8.8 There is goods at the store including potato and cigarrete 2.8.9 This house actually is not for sale 2.9.0 Jamal's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / jkaaa7dar68oaewd5klys / AK9ZJNVKArzUiGKT_gyPOFw ? rlkey = ie92hphxup1b4bz48f31pubed & dl = 0 2.9.1 Set of 4 Houses 2.9.2 Baths included in each house with plumbing 2.9.3 Standard 14 Bar 8 Lumen High Altitude System 2.9.4 Main Room to Each House 2.9.5 Side Room with TV to each house 2.9.6 Clothes in each bedroom 2.9.7 PC in each bedroom 2.9.8 Back Yard House with Jordan In it 2.9.9 Included marketing display 3.0.0 Centennial Retirement Home https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / dh6hgc85048bdnzv4976u / AC8LJyFV-erivp2kmxCifxA ? rlkey = jt54mis1nytwit9mfmpfdb2h0 & dl = 0 3.0.1 Eight Patient Retirement Home 3.0.2 Medical Provisions Provided 3.0.3 Personell Capacity 16 Bar and 8 Lumen System 3.0.4 Malfunctioning Exterior Toilet 3.0.5 Gymnasium and Kitchen and Pepsi Machine and Mess 3.0.6 Secure Patient Checkin with Scan System 3.0.7 Poor Right Side Adult Ward Baths 3.0.8 Adolescents Ward Can Conceal Marijuana 3.0.9 Good Oxygenation Conditioning 3.1.0 Dubstep Challenge Island https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / l5y84ufg7p5ou9bkp5y8y / AEa_4z_e7YiJp2UzkfI7OWw ? rlkey = l08yxiqn4s7k1c8lilai7y1j4 & dl = 0 3.1.1 Nuerohop out of the boat into the island mainland, avoid the wilderness! 3.1.2 Get safety to Korbis and Putin and Efe on the Dubstep Challenge 3.1.3 3 Room 1 Trap 3 Bath House Provided with Upstairs Connector 3.1.4 Kitchen and Apparatus Provided 3.1.5 First Banned From The Island Leave Up at Docks 3.1.6 Full Music Studio Included with Beachhouse 3.1.7 Some Dogs Lurk in the Wilderness On The Island 3.1.8 No Specific Oxygen Line Provided for Waste 3.1.9 Found DJ Tool in Boilerroom 3.2.0 Justin Beiber's Mom's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / s8guwv5jph98kbxwq8z9v / ADWyXiZtcTzC3myr3ZHJIOc ? rlkey = upizj57oo5t7fdx9egx113cgp & dl = 0 3.2.1 Classic Industrial Area Flat 3.2.2 Included Industrial Area Food Anglomerate Output 3.2.3 Beiber's Mom's House 1 Bedroom 1 Bath Flat Provided, Foyer Room, Kitchen, Bathroom, Bedroom 3.2.4 Beiber Child PC Text Trainer 3.2.5 Clothes In Bedroom 3.2.6 Plumbed Bathroom 3.2.7 16 Bar 8 Lumen System Provided 3.2.8 Childs Studio Provided 3.2.9 Standard Canadian Education Recomended 3.3.0 IRKLUNDANDER Commune https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / bgmfrbvkvh74qg739uqou / AGrF-BK-eA5GRxom5oI71KM ? rlkey = mbswm151h8ozh73ptt59g2s2m & dl = 0 3.3.1 3 Vox Trainer Reality Show Houses Made of Aluminum Glass 3.3.2 Toilet Included in Secret Room Beneath House 3.3.3 Community Toilet included in main area side room 3.3.4 Rations in every house 3.3.5 Space heater in every house 3.3.6 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 3.3.7 In a Winter Wonderland Area 3.3.8 Includes Clothes 3.3.9 Includes PC 3.4.0 Tim Garza's House 2 https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 4y216z2iddjpq2llkk4r9 / ACsSuQdkhToPeo-gUq4VuyM ? rlkey = 7tii9866lgyo4qy4jsshtfziu & dl = 0 3.4.1 Similar Format to Tim Garza's House 3.4.2 Includes 2 Bath 4 Bedroom 1 Community Kitchen House 3.4.3 Includes 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 3.4.4 Includes Plumbing for each Bathroom 3.4.5 Includes Appliances for the kitchen 3.4.6 Includes back and front yard entrance 3.4.7 Includes basement and clothes in every room 3.4.8 Includes tim garzas K-Workstation 3.4.9 Includes Heirloom Tomato grow actual tomato in back yard 3.5.0 JK Rowling's Castle https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / xnov07r1vsy8lgr2s7e9q / AHMvwcVoLRce2t-8bl6HMXA ? rlkey = kvh0aaz6js1gv15r3x4omf7yz & dl = 0 3.5.1 Full Castle With Dungeon and Great Hall and Dormitories in the Style of the Movie 3.5.2 Separate from castle built for movie 3.5.3 3 Classrooms moved from the set of the movie 3.5.4 Many 4 Bathrooms With Plumbing 3.5.5 Includes Hogsmeade Buildings on Grounds 3.5.6 Shrieking Shack, Three Broomsticks, and Igor's Tavern in Hogsmeade 3.5.7 Actual Hidden Tunnel to The Shrieking Shack 3.5.8 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 3.5.9 Appropriate dormitories for players of the movie 3.6.0 The Flavor Isles https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 8vyh83ce11kf5pb2gwadv / ANsJbcJKKeQI384oE8Se5UM ? rlkey = puoqw30lgu5zhk6erk9yc4s90 & dl = 0 3.6.1 Flavor Themed Disneyland Resort in Joey's Basement 3.6.2 Massive Spicy Shrieking Hut Cuisine and Other Classics 3.6.3 Stay in for a night at a 4 bedroom 4 bath resort hotel 3.6.4 Plumbing for Every bath 3.6.5 16 Bar 8 Lumen Classic System 3.6.6 Use clothes or a PC at the bedroom 3.6.7 Double Depth, Go to the next ride at the next depth 3.6.8 4 Bedroom 4 Bath House in the Hidden Area and another Restaurant 3.6.9 Full Service Recycling 3.7.0 Rented Ice Hotel https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / ddk5zf8729uaiebclbb1o / AIqBsidXAXrTQXi-PCxWdNA ? rlkey = o9yjupq7b823imenx1ybucpzl & dl = 0 3.7.1 One Room Ice Hotel 3.7.2 Made out of Ice 3.7.3 Has Bathroom and Plumbing 3.7.4 Has Ice display 3.7.5 Agnes' Ice Hotel 3.7.6 Real 5 Copy Build Method 3.7.7 16 Bar 8 Lumen Limited Oxygen System 3.7.8 Has Kitchen in Ice Hotel 3.7.9 Has Marijuana In Ice Hotel 3.8.0 Dorisburg's House https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / qy5sgm3j89td9n7g1i5r5 / AA0m-DE6cmlNiFKbL0baT5c ? rlkey = mtmlf5198napxkl3i75hvpnjo & dl = 0 3.8.1 4 Bedroom 4 Bath House With Interior Kitchen and Back Yard 3.8.2 Plumbing for Every Bath 3.8.3 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 3.8.4 Telivision Room and Telivision 3.8.5 Downstairs Television 3.8.6 Beds in Every Bedroom 3.8.7 Back Yard With Vegetable Grow 3.8.8 Front Yard Access Through Waterjet Channel 3.8.9 Dedicated Oxygen Line for Television Aerial 3.9.0 Bahn Mi Village https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / ovm5lhsgogw4rspchx9to / h ? rlkey = 0n4sdcyb8qi3ebolbab708fgc & dl = 0 3.9.1 Community 4 Hut Village 3.9.2 Standard Lavatory for Village 3.9.3 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 3.9.4 Transit to Another Village, Daft Vox Village https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / ipyuy0vuqpyfzjymcbfkq / AP4Iset5VTAue8bZeWvWqwg ? rlkey = wqs4a2bbqym8qi8eyum96uqcl & dl = 0 3.9.5 Multiple Buildings in Daft Vox Village 3.9.6 Full 16 Bar 8 Lumen System Also In Daft Vox Village 3.9.7 Possible Nice Buildings in Daft Vox Village 3.9.8 Transit Provided Between Village 3.9.9 No Medical 4.0.0 Burma Village https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / hzm7gtq590pu9e1a9u9mb / AJriN2hXiHX7crTIXRThKXs ? rlkey = kf197unmk5ol7luu4mrsby970 & dl = 0 4.0.1 Nice 5 Building Town 4.0.2 Standard 16 Bar 8 Lumen System 4.0.3 Food in Some Houses 4.0.4 Scheming Old Man Putin in Burma Village 4.0.5 Kings Palace 4.0.6 Dusty Banquet in the Palace 4.0.7 Multiple Areas To All Houses 4.0.8 Trade with Putin 4.0.9 Trade for Gambling 4.1.0 Wojak Station https : // www . dropbox . com / scl / fo / 3bjjwhkgpxichahc1naxn / ACH0V5oQrWm0dsUzjeW4fso ? rlkey = z01f8v8k2hhc5z0ace0940ny7 & dl = 0 4.1.1 Full Space Adventure 4.1.2 Includes House 4.1.3 Includes Plumbing 4.1.4 Includes Cars Parked Outside Your House 4.1.5 Includes Taza's House 4.1.6 Full House Interior 4.1.7 Multiple Houses Done 4.1.8 Kitchen System To House 4.1.9 Full Bath System.

Grabbed a big pack (24) of the Nathan’s hot dogs at Sam’s the other day to make “meat cereal”, i.e. cut a few dogs into slices, mix in some shredded cheddar, nuke it and drizzle a little low sugar ketchup. Total (hot dog) carbs are 1g, 0g sugar, 0g fiber. Normally, all the fat would make people run, but hopefully my meat cereal alright for keto cause it’s super convenient for something quick.

Part 1: Childhood Part 2: Oregon Part 3: Puerto Rico Part 5: Iran Part 6: Elsewhere Part 7: Retirement

Part 4: Global

It seems Nathan made good on his promise. Over the next few years I was offered more contracts than I could realistically take on, and I brought back three or four cryptids a year. I spent weeks battling thirst and scorching heat in the Gobi Desert before capturing two olgoi-khorkhoi, Mongolian death worms. I stalked the forests of Croatia in search of a Strzyga, though was unable to find one. In Bavaria I located and captured what I believe to be a kobold, a chittering creature that walks on two legs but runs on all fours, and resembles a cross between a young boy and a dog. The kobold netted me €400,000 as I brought it back alive and unharmed.
I spent four months in the mountains of the Sinai Peninsula before tracking down a griffin. The fat bird, almost human-sized, cannot fly and is rather sluggish, but it caught me by surprise in its dark cave. It may not be athletic but its talons are vicious, and I still have the scars to prove it.
There were plenty of jobs I refused out of hand. I’m no sailor, so would not take contracts for sea creatures. Cryptids are unknown to biology, but they aren’t supernatural; they’re just animals we have yet to study and classify. In fact there are a few animals now known that used to be considered cryptids. So ghosts, vampires, werewolves - if I knew it didn’t exist, it wasn’t worth my time, especially when I had to turn down legitimate jobs as it was. I did spend a few weeks in Norfolk, England, looking for the ancient devil-dog Old Shuck following several sightings of the black-furred, red-eyed, centuries-old fiend; when I eventually caught it, it turned out to be merely a particularly aggressive pitbull terrier, abandoned by its owner in the middle of the countryside.
I’m very good at my job, and love the outdoors and hunting. But I’m not young any more. I turned forty earlier this year, and the hunt takes its toll on my body. I was already looking at my savings, the cost of buying a decent bit of land back in Oregon, and the still-substantial difference between the two. I was in Nigeria, considering whether to accept a contract on the mokele-mbembe, when I got a call.

I’ve seen seasons 1-4 probably 10 times through. I also watch the occasional episode out of order here and there.
I’ve seen seasons 5-6 a few times, seen season 7 once.
I want to see the finale and the Dan Scott redemption arc I just don’t necessarily want to deal with a fat Mouth or Nathan getting kidnapped. Would I be lost if I skipped season 8?

I know this won't have Cloud, Crash, Dante, Spyro, Snake or even Lara Croft, but I wanted to focus on just first-party Sony-ownes games.
Infamous: Cole MacGrath Evil Cole MacGrath
Uncharted: Nathan Drake
MediEvil: Sir Daniel
Primal: Jen
The Legend of Dragoon: Dart
Jumping Flash!: Robbit
Invizimals: Tigershark
Twisted Metal: Sweet Tooth Mr. Grimm
Rogue Galaxy: Jaster
Fat Princess: Princess Plump
Killzone: Rico Colonel Radec
God of War: Kratos Zeus
Folklore: Ellen
White Knight Chronicles: Wisel
Sly Cooper: Sly Cooper Carmelita Fox
Untold Legends: Zala
LittleBigPlanet: Sackboy
Arc the Lad: Arc
Ratchet & Clank: Ratchet & Clank Dr. Nefarious
The Mark of Kri: Rau Utu
Gravity Rush: Kat
Jak & Daxter: Jak & Daxter Gol
Wild Arms: Rudy Virginia
Ape Escape: Spike Specter
PaRappa: PaRappa
Dark Cloud: Max/Monica
Gran Turismo: G.T. Driver
Papaton: Uberhero
Resistance: Daedalus
Legaia: Vahn
Jeanne D'Arc: Jeanne
Beyond the Beyond: Annie
Heavenly Sword: Nariko
Malicious: Valeria/Erica
Lair: Rohn
Doko Demo Issyo: Toro & Kuro
Okage: Shadow King: Ari
Blasto: Captain Blasto
Kingdom of Paradise: Shinbu
Vib-Ribbon: Vibri

ho hi!
my guys!
what’s up, how’s life been treating u lately?
let me answer that one for myself (my barn, my rules)
in one word, roughly (i mean, work with people)
so u got it, i’m ur host for the week (oh shit, here we go again)
my second time curating THE Weekly Party Discussion
or something one could call the eternal sunshine of solitary mind (one thought leading to one another, if u get what i mean)
get ready to lose urself to dance cause that’s what a dancefloor is made for, like my guy wrote last week (remember chapter 5? here, do ur homework)
so let the music play there and keep on reading that crazy long ass text, u might eventually get what u came for (a great selection of events happening in ur neightborhood)
so let me discharge my mind peacefully and scroll down if u wanna skip the crap (don’t, it’s a fun read after all)
ah but before i get in too deep and in da club, there is something we gotta clarify my guys (suspense at a peak)
yeah that’s right, someone’s gotta do it out there (and here again, i am taking one for the team)
so don’t mind me setting things straight ahead, this time like some other (look for it)
since when downvoting became THE way to express an opinion? i mean, use ur sticky fingers and write (ur lack of) it down so we can at least get a constructive conversation out of this beautiful mess
ah, i already hear the big mouths in the back whispering that reddit isn’t made for this (or whatever bullshit they come up with)
oh, but guess what? we make AMSTERDAM_RAVE the way we want, that’s also why there are some rules, our rules (simple as this)
so do urself a favor, check them out, once more won’t hurt (be kind, simple as this)
still don’t adhere? well, then get out lurker (i won’t say it a third time my guy, really)
don’t know what the fuck i’m talking about? do ur research, u silly!
so watch out my guys, next time u’re downvoting my gurl, our queen so so bad, i’ll come haunting u on the dancefloor (trust me, i would do it)
yes, i’m a witch (ur words my guy, not mine)
yes, a witch of love (what else?)
i mean, if u wanna leave a dowvote so so bad, at least do it on one of my post (try me out my guy, got tough skin now)
oh but i forgot! there will be no more rants coming out there (i mean it this time, really)
time has passed, indeed and urs truly gotta find another territory suiting her (unrealistic?) ambitions (that stupid brain hitting hard, especially during long nights of insomnia)
and i hope u’re gonna miss me very much because i’m not gonna miss u (that’s a big fat lie, one)
no, that decision of not ranting out there was not an easy choice, but for once the head took over the heart (see, how rational i could be? back to my roots, eventually)
i mean, the content doesn’t fit anymore (has it ever? probably not)
and i don’t belong to me (things just aren’t much fun, unfortunately)
anyway!
if that is not an unnecessary long, boring and egocentric introduction, i don’t know what that is (an overflowing chain of thoughts, with me always)
oh yeah, THE Weekly Party Discussion right? don’t worry, i got u covered my guy (so u better have my back too, equity as always)
ah wait, i’ll start (not a start anymore, at this point) by quoting myself (again) and reminding u of a golden rule, since it’s a looong weekend incoming (as long as my weekly duh):
if u can’t handle a bender, it’s at ur own risk (u choose ur destiny but know that the best is usually saved for the last, if u get what i mean)
feeling frisky tonight, Wednesday i presume?
then i strongly advise u to head over to Klank en Kleur in Schietclub, listen to Running Hot exquisite selection (curious? check that out)
hell yeah, take me for a ride my guy (there’s no time to stop)
not convinced? i mean, he’s another great talent from my beloved and favourite record label, Love On The Rocks (obviously)
i mean, who’s working tomorrow anyway? not me (neither do u my guy)
still decided to sleep that one out but can’t wait for the weekend to begin?
fine, u got another chance on Thursday night to make it to Radio Radio, where my gurl Dee Diggs will go deep alongside my guy Beraber (curious? check that out)
i mean, toss it my guy (u’re gonna set urself free)
don’t like house that much? oh well, then let’s expand our horizons on Friday
two options, one choice, see for urself what suits better ur mood:
on the west side, Live From Earth has the honor of introducing the newly renovated courtyard of Lofi and if i trust what i saw on their social, it looks promising (the place for sure, the party not so sure)
almost a mini festival at this point, i mean it’s no less than ten deejays on the bill split on three stages (that should be enough to keep u untertained my guy)
not gonna lie, i am not familiar with most names on the lineup but if there was a few to remember: MCR-T, DJ Gigola, Mila Black and the one and only Pablo Bozzi (who i still haven’t had the chance to see, oh no)
i mean, there might be some trance energy so i guess it’s not that bad of a deal
on the noord side, a good old classic Garage night (if u know u know) with Wata Igarashi, Spekki Webu and Julie, all the three worth the turbulence of taking the ferry (i mean come on my guy, it’s not even five minutes u lazy)
if u don’t know, well too bad for u (keep on reading then)
without transition, we got into the weekend (fucking finally) and Saturday is right around the corner with plenty of offers, here and there:
let’s start with another round of Festimi served at Lofi, to keep on inaugurating that magnificent outdoor (good weather may (not) be included, i mean who the fuck knows)
and a (not so) exclusive news for u my guys, phone will get stickered at the door (if that is not some noticeable improvement, i don’t know what that is)
regarding the lineup, there’s enough to cater a wide range of taste with Bambounou b2b Kikelomo, Nala Brown, Nathalie Seres, Teqmun and so on (do ur research my guy)
remember that one, regarding festimi crowd? i specially digged it from the archive for u my guy (and my memory still doesn’t fail me, it’s very annoying)
find another option, another sound at Het Sieraad with sir Gerd Janson, who has this oh so rare elegance to build the most sincere and less gimmicky drops out there (simple as this)
something unique, u gotta hear it to believe it
and another piece of advice, while i’m at it (feeling generous after all):
if u wanna get THE sound of any established deejay u gotta go and see them playing at their residency, as far as it might be (simple as this)
i mean, why do u think that urs truly is traveling back and forth to the other side of the border?
i mean, have u heard of panorama bar? right, i’ll stop there before u get the usual propaganda that i have been endlessly repeating since a few months out there (remember that one?)
anyway! got slightly off-topic it seems (classic move)
third and final option at Garage for THE HARD WEEKEND (which reminds me that i never published my report of the previous one, oops)
if u still don’t know (lost the thread? haha), well u got a second chance so don’t sit that one out (i won’t say it a third time my guy, really)
for real, check the lineup urself because i don’t need to do it (when it’s good it’s good) and get ur ass on that ferry (i mean come on)
for real, my heart will go on and on (i just love that place, another proof here)
rest assured to leave it with new core memories (wink)
and like they say, come early stay late (it’s a long run that one)
without transition (again), the weekend has (almost) passed but luckily for us all, Sunday doesn’t leave us off the wall with plenty of offers, here and there (again):
if u chose Festimi the night before, one logic option would be to end up at Bret to close it off properly
another place, same deejays with Nathalie Seres, Ploy, Angel D’Lite, also joined by Sandrien and Paurro
otherwise, last but not least event of the courtyard opening at Lofi with Patio (a brand new concept, running on Sundays only)
that one is for u techno heads: Chlär, Lea Occhi, Stephanie Sykes and so on (do ur research my guy)
and for u house nerds, Ciranda Sundays at Doka with Mafalda and Mendel (curious? check that out)
finally, i cannot end that weekly by not mentioning Kolt since it was so kindly recommended by my guy out there (oh hello)
i mean, JEANS on the bill (almost heard my name)
location T.B.A., u know the drill (check their social, u silly)
oof, another eventful weekend that awaits us
bender season is officially ON, so i hope u took ur Monday OFF (or the percks of (not) working remotely)
yes, we all know what happens when one is staying home to focus efficiently (away from an overly agitated openspace? nah i don’t think so)
even if nobody talks about it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist
and that culture of sneaking out is here to stay (they call it a lifestyle, i call it hypocrisy in disguise)
think about it my guy (wink)
i leave u to it (scroll back up, give it another try)
and remember, keep the spirit high and the heart in love (their words, not mine)

Previous / Next
So, if you’re just joining us, I work at a haunted zoo now. Since I’ve gotten some rest, it feels like I’ve got my head on straight, at least, so I’d like to continue where I left off.
I sat on the floor in the office after meeting the ghost until I’d settled my rattled mind (and realized I’d forgotten to ask her name, how rude is that?). I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. Walking over and falling into the rolling chair in front of the large screen of camera views, when I brought up the camera that covered the area in which I’d spotted her, she was still there, and it seemed she hadn’t moved an inch.
Sitting there, at a loss, I continued to watch her. The ghost hung around for another five minutes or so, appearing to look at a few things off-screen, though I’m not sure what. Then she walked off into the forest and left the view of the cameras. I wasn’t sure if she vanished into the ether or if she’d gone looking into the trees to look for something.
But that wasn’t the end of the job interview, so let me jump back there. It continued into what kind of animals the zoo had, with Andrew asking me how much experience I had with dangerous animals.
I took a moment to consider the question. “So, ah…I’ve been going hunting and fishing with a neighbor since I was sixteen,” I told him. “We always have to keep an eye out for gators, bears, and hogs. Then there’s snakes, of course…snapping turtles… Since I’ve lived here my whole life and been aiming for a job with wildlife for a long time, I know a lot about the animals in Arkansas in general. But good advice for all of the above is avoid them, so I’ve had encounters, but I don’t know if you’d say I have experience with them.”
“That’s fine,” Andrew said, nodding. “That’s an answer I’m satisfied with. Now, the ghost was the appetizer, Ripley; here’s the main course. To start with, the pay isn’t twenty-five an hour. It’s fifty.”
Staring in shock for a moment, I asked, “Are you serious?”
“Yeah. But that’d be weird to post online considering what applicants think we need, so I halved it.”
“That’s… Okay, why?”
“The animals are already here. You just can’t see them.”
I stared at him for a long moment, some disbelief worming its way into my expression, before saying, “Sorry, what?”
“There’s a chance you’d naturally never see them, or at least some of them,” he continued casually. “It depends on both your genetics and how long you stay on the job. I can naturally see six of them, but that’s it. Suzanne can see all of them, and more. Some are what people would label demons or ghosts. Or magic. Mostly you’d call them cryptids. The ghost was just a warm-up; I mentioned her first because it never takes more than a week to see her if you work the night shift. If you manage to handle her okay, soon you’ll be able to see the animals too. The more time you spend on the grounds, for weird reasons,” he said, wiggling his fingers in the direction of the back door, “the more you’ll be able to see.”
“So, this…this is a zoo for cryptids,” I echoed slowly. He nodded once, waiting to find out what kind of reaction I would have. I gestured vaguely around the room. “If this is a hidden camera show, will you cut me a check for showing up and participating?”
Andrew coughed out a chuckle and shook his head. “No joke. There are a ton of stories out there that have been written to death, pulverized until they’re not the Grimm stories of old and instead they’re Disney films. A lot of those stories come from what some humans have seen. There are dozens of other worlds pressed up against ours, and occasionally things come through by accident. If they’re smart, they’ll lay low and then make their way back when they can. If not, they become local folklore until someone helps them back. I’m just from London, but Suzanne is from somewhere else. She hires people like us for this zoo. Humans.”
Sighing, I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Why would she hire a muggle for a magic zoo?”
Andrew burst out laughing at that, and then waited to gather himself before he continued. “Fair point, but this is less about magic and more about animals, and you’re missing some information that will explain it. First of all, if I misjudge an employee, and they think they can make bank by outing the endangered and valuable animals we have, it’s easy to relocate the zoo.”
“Because magic?” I asked.
“Exactly,” he replied, ignoring the thread of skepticism in my tone. “That means it isn’t the end of the world if that happened, though it is a pain in the arse. But second…let me ask you a question. Speaking of reality shows, say the Discovery Channel put out a call to replace Steve Irwin when he passed. Imagine they had a line out the door,” he said with a gesture, “of people who thought they had the skill and natural talent to replace him, to take on everything he’d been doing his whole life. How many do you reckon would lose an arm, a leg, or their life, by the end of the day?”
My lips parted in surprise and I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re saying people from…wherever…they’re just as dumb as humans, but they’re worse, because they actually think they can handle these things.”
Andrew pointed the pen at me. “Things. Exactly. You called them things. Suzanne and her friends grew up with them and would call them animals. These animals have dispositions and temperaments that we’ve studied for as long as there have been scientists. Where Suzanne’s from, they know the weaknesses of these animals, and also they’re in enclosures here, even if you and I can’t see the walls because they’re invisible things called ‘wards’. If I hire someone who’s got magic on top of all that, they’ll have almost no instinctive fear.
“Everything here is nocturnal, and every one of them is a hunter. Some of these things? Humans see them and they pass out. Not that I want you passing out, but I need someone who is scared of these things, who knows to stay out of the enclosures no matter what. Not someone who thinks they can train them to do tricks, who gets close enough for them to grab a mouthful of hair and drown them. Once, we had a night shift manager injured, and once killed, because they didn’t take these animals seriously enough.”
Thinking back to the Sea World orca incident I knew he’d been referencing, I remembered wondering how someone at that level of her profession could be so careless as I watched the video on YouTube. It made sense when he explained it like that. I hesitated before mentally throwing my hands up and going all in. “So, why put this place here, then? If they’re endangered and also dangerous, why have a zoo at all instead of just a small reserve?”
He pursed his lips, looking disappointed in me. “Ripley. You know that already. You already said as much.”
Thinking back through our conversation, I said, “The rich humans who pay top dollar to see supernatural animals.”
“Not humans,” he told me. “But people, yes, and they are rich, and they’re making donations and spending their money on a ticket here because everything we have is endangered.”
“So…”
I just let my voice trail off and my mind started to drift. Andrew remained silent, letting me do so. There’s that thing people say, ‘I believe that you believe it,’ which is just a kinder way of saying, ‘Bullshit.’ Parents say it about closet monsters. Psychologists say it to people who say they’ve been abducted and probed by aliens. I wanted to say it to Andrew.
But I also wanted a job. If it meant working overnight at an empty zoo, that was fine. When it came down to it, especially when I took the tone of our conversation into account, this was a zoo specifically focused on preserving endangered ‘animals’, and it was allegedly doing important work. Also, if this turned out to be the real deal and I started seeing the animals, I would deal with it, just like I would deal with an enclosure that had a lion or tiger or gorilla. If it came with a ghost and invisible creatures, I really didn’t see what the difference was, if I couldn’t go in the enclosures either way.
On that note, I’d like you to imagine a kid who looks at a roller coaster, watching everyone screaming and grinning as they go up and down and all around and they’re like, ‘Heck, I could do that! That looks like a blast!’
Then they get on, the first drop hits, and they realize they’ve made a terrible mistake.
“All right,” I sighed. “I can’t say I’m going to turn down a job just because it’s going to be scary. Especially not one with this paycheck.”
Andrew smiled. “Awesome. There’s an adjustment process for anyone working here, similar to a dog that gets adopted, actually. I know the general guidelines of, ‘three days, three weeks, three months’ in terms of milestones, until they finally feel they’re where they’re supposed to be,” he told me, “and you can think of your time here along those lines. I really think you’re a great fit, and once you reach the milestone of working here for three months, I’ll officially consider you our new night shift guard. And I hope you’ll stay with us for many years.”
I nodded and smiled at the flattery of an employer wanting me to work a great job for them for a long time. I’d never had a dog, but those milestones were well-known among anyone who knew animals, especially dogs. The first three days, the dog is getting to know its new digs, exploring, and decompressing. At three weeks, they’ve gotten used to their environment and are starting to get comfortable with their surroundings and the routines of the humans they live with. By three months, they know the rules and follow them, they trust you, and they feel they are where they’re meant to be. I could only hope to be so lucky.
I saw the ghost two days ago and she has yet to make another appearance (for those who are curious, I asked, and her name is Leila), and I still hadn’t seen any animals. I did hear one, though, I feel compelled to note. A growling roar sounded from the lake on occasion, echoing across the vast zoo, sending a shiver down my spine. Whatever that animal was, it sounded gigantic.
Andrew said there was apparently a group that wanted to visit for a birthday and they were offering a huge donation, so he let me know they were making an exception and that this group would be walking through the park that night. That meant I’d be watching people watching animals that, as far as I could tell, weren’t there.
It was anticlimactic. Even the three people who came for the tour just looked like people, not like aliens or something eldritch from another dimension, and I stayed in the security office the whole time. Andrew was the one giving the tour. I watched them spend about five minutes at each enclosure, the hour or so that they were there passing without incident. It was clear that they were able to see all the animals, though, since they motioned excitedly at each enclosure and spoke to Andrew, who presumably answered any questions they had.
If they could see the animals, that was that. There was still that niggle in the back of my head, from my twenty-three years of life never encountering anything like ghosts or cryptids, telling me that this was ridiculous. Waiting for someone to knock on the door, a camera mounted on their shoulder, to tell me that it was a big joke and they wanted to see how long I’d play along. But from all I saw, this was a real place with real, invisible animals.
I do carry a taser and pepper spray in my capacity as a security guard. Though it isn’t for the animals, since they’re in the enclosures; they’re actually for the rare instance of a break-in. Andrew mentioned that it had happened several times it the past, someone trying to steal an animal in the hopes of selling it on the black market. They’d been successful before, but apparently my predecessor Roger was good at his job, and mostly they left in handcuffs.
I’ll be honest, I’m not a huge fan of confrontation, but my job was to call Andrew and then confront the person, not kick their ass. That’s what the police were for, or rather, the people Andrew would call in lieu of police in certain situations.
Fifty bucks an hour. That’s the key here.
Andrew hadn’t set up direct deposit, since he was sticking with a strategy of waiting to see if I’d continue to work there once I found out myself dealing with the animals (I’ve decided I am going to just call them animals). Instead, I got an old-fashioned check after my shift every Friday. The number on the first check was delightful. I went out that evening and had a big dinner at the local diner, order my most expensive favorites on the menu and a big slice of pie for dessert.
When it came to the paychecks in general, though, I had this weird feeling of not wanting to tell my dad and brother about the fact that it was actually $50/hr. I previously mentioned that my dad, his name’s Nathan if you’re curious, works at a local grocery store. Our town has a couple food franchises, but I think its size is just short of whatever threshold Walmart uses to decide where to open. He earns $14/hr. and that’s after the tiny raises he’s gotten over the past thirteen years.
That’s not to say he’d feel bad about not making as much as me. On the contrary, he would be ecstatic for me and really proud. But, like me, he’d be suspicious. That hourly rate was the biggest hint that this was more than just a private zoo for cryptids. And as soon as that fat check cleared without problems, my dad wouldn’t be satisfied with reassurances; he’d want to come visit the zoo and look around.
I’d told him it’s a private preservation with scheduled (expensive) visits only and that it had only eleven animals, so he’d been appeased by me brushing off the idea of a visit. Also, I took a few photos of my workplace; one of the security room, one of me sitting in my chair, one photo of the many screens I watched, and a selfie where I was feigning sleep out of boredom, slouched in my chair with my mouth open in a faux snore. That let him feel like he knew where I was and what I was doing, and that I was safe.
But if I told him I was making double what he thought, my father would practically order me to quit. No job was worth my safety, he’d tell me. I was quite of the opposite opinion, however, considering how crucial any and all conservation efforts were these days. Especially with the steep extinction levels due to humans competing with other animals for space, not to mention climate change. Working in any job that helped preserve species and keep ecosystems in balance, or put them back in balance, was so important.
Then again, my father would also point out something I had realized right away: the fact was that I was working with endangered species that were not from Earth. I wasn’t helping my planet. To be honest, though…that didn’t matter to me. Especially after that talk with Andrew about why he hired a human for this job, I figured whichever dimension these animals came from had the equivalent of us, razing forests to the ground, clouding the planet with pollution, and leaving the animals with no avenue of recourse when yet more land was taken from them.
I really do hope to keep working here for a long time, though, and not just because of the money. I can’t help it; I want to know what these things were, and I want to work with them, to do the job of a zookeeper. The same way you go up to the chain-link fence to get close to a carnivore on the other side who thinks you’d make a nice afternoon snack. You just want to be closer to them, to experience that incredible, daunting feeling of being in their presence.
Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t long before I got what I wanted.
The day after we had the tour go through, I was doing my sweep when I saw the ghost again. She was sitting on a small boulder in the same area I’d seen her the first time, looking identical, blood covering the front of her slashed shirt, the wounds visible underneath. I stopped and stood there for a moment before I decided to raise my hand in a small wave.
The young woman cocked her head at me and raised a hand in the air in an imitation of my gesture, her expression showing a bit of curiosity.
She was low-key, seemingly not concerned with my presence, looking at me as a novel phenomenon in her world. I wondered what that world consisted of. Was she always here, sometimes visible and sometimes not? Or did she have another world next to ours, in the ether, where she left everything in this world behind and floated in her disembodied form? Did she still feel emotions? Was that really curiosity on her face, or was I projecting? Did she feel happiness? Fear? Did she have the option of moving on, or was she stuck here?
Many questions that I might never get the answers to. And that was assuming Andrew knew the answers, since I’d never met Suzanne Cooper and he hadn’t even mentioned that possibility. This place was clearly her baby, but I’m sure running it was a lot of work. Plus, if she was rich enough to own it, she was rich enough to have other businesses and charities to run.
When it comes to the enclosures, they’re all wrapped by a barrier of some kind, though never one that seems adequate. There was not a single place with the ugly metal weavings of a chain-link fence, and no stretches of circular razor wire. Instead, there are nice fences. Black iron, or wrought steel fencing in a similar style to the one circling the perimeter of the zoo, just shorter and with different patterns. Or a spaced picket fence, the wood stained in some tone of brown, or a split two-rail fence. As if to say, ‘This is the border of your enclosure, but we’re just letting you know out of courtesy.’
When I started to pass enclosure number seven last night, a young woman’s voice spoke, “Hello.”
I startled, unaware that I hadn’t been alone. “Oh. Hi,” I said, staring at her standing a few yards in.
She had been next to a large tree and I hadn’t seen her. This enclosure was behind a picket fence, and she walked through the large area of wild grasses and flowers that stretched across the other side of the fence. There were fewer tall grasses closer to the fence, which I guessed was because it had been tromped down by her regular pacing along it when there were visitors, or if she wanted to see the various enclosures of the zoo. Her sudden appearance was a bit weird, considering I had been expecting to see a cryptid and instead I was looking at, it seemed, an attractive Asian woman.
She wore a black kimono, the soft silk robe draped gently over her body, with beautiful patterns of cherry blossoms, more so over her left side, and red and blue birds with their wings spread. A sash wrapped around her abdomen, she wore socks and sandals on her feet, and her hair was up in those rolls that gave volume to the style.
I was no expert on any fashion, much less that of another country, so I just assumed it was all traditional Japanese clothing. Most likely, the visitors who came liked to see a certain time-honored style and that’s what she stuck with. Or maybe she played on stereotypes. That would be amusing.
“I’m Yui. It’s nice to meet you,” she spoke, arriving at the border of the fence and holding out a hand for me to shake.
I’d been standing about three yards away from her, and I’ll be honest, muscle memory tried to kick in. But I only made it two steps, my hand starting to rise, before I froze, the hand falling limply at my side. “Nice to meet you, too,” I answered, my voice quiet.
Damn. I wonder how many times that honey trap works back where she comes from.
The pleasant look on her face faded, and she lowered her hand. “You won’t shake hands with me? Isn’t that rude?”
“I mean, I kind of like my hand where it is. You know, attached to me.”
Her demure smile widened into something more amused. “I would never do something so revolting.”
Looking her up and down, as if more visual information would give me more knowledge of what she was, I asked her, “What would you do?”
“I would be less wasteful,” she said softly.
A finger of ice trailed down my spine, and I had the sudden image in my head of her grabbing my outstretched hand in an iron grip and yanking me over the fence, leaving me to sprawl on the ground. Then killing and consuming me efficiently, without a single careless step, the same way humans slaughtered pigs, using everything from the hog but the squeal. I was struck with a shiver at the idea of her consuming everything from me but my screams.
Slowly, I took one step further down the path, then another. Just as I got to a walking pace, though, I realized the woman had started walking too, in the same direction. I’d have eventually gotten to the end of her enclosure and keep going, leaving her behind, but she spoke up. “Are you leaving?”
I came to a stop, meeting her gaze again. “My job is to walk the zoo every hour. Then I’ll get back to the security room and stay there until my next walk.”
“Have you met the others yet?”
I hesitated before saying, “Just Leila.”
She blinked languidly. “That means nobody welcomed you here.”
“Andrew did.”
She didn’t reply to that. Instead, she slowly started to lean forward, and I flinched backward a few steps further as I saw insect legs start curling out from her back.
No. Not insect. Arachnid.
The eight legs ended in small ‘paws’ with tiny claws, a layer of hairs covering the leg from top to bottom, like any typical tarantula. I took two more slow steps back and my mouth went dry as the jointed legs just kept lengthening, until they were large enough to lever her off the ground.
My gaze had been on the spider legs, but my heart skipped a beat as I realized her human legs had melded together and turned into a bulging abdomen. Her skin was shifting to a carapace, eventually all the way up to her shoulders and down her arms, her fingers elongating and her nails stretching to claws. From there down, her body was that of a pale tarantula with pedipalps the size of my arms and piercing fangs in her jaws that looked like they could take my head off.
There was a moment, my vision blurring, where I was worried that I might piss myself. The part of my brain that still had its humor intact in that moment told me that I should keep an emergency set of clothes in my car, or at the very least, start wearing Depends to work.
“I show you my true form,” she said softly, her voice now raspy like an eighty-year-old after a lifelong smoking habit. “Welcome to Suzanne Cooper’s zoo. The night shift guard for many years was Roger, before he retired and the zoo moved, and I miss him dearly. What should I call you?”
I choked on my words. There was no way my throat was going to cooperate enough for me to clearly get a sentence out. Instead, I realized my legs had taken control of the situation themselves, unsatisfied with my conscious brain’s decision to stand and stare, taking steps backward. I backed up a yard, then five yards, then ten.
My mind focused on the fact that spiders don’t waste anything, and pictured my demise. I’d be wrapped in a cocoon, killed, and made nice and mushy before she had me for dinner.
The whole time, my brain was a frenzied mess, my pupils were probably the size of dimes, and I was staring at that tiny, pathetic fence between her and me. There was so much adrenaline pumping through my body that I felt like my bones were vibrating. The fence was, to my eyes, the only thing between us. The only thing keeping her from tackling and killing me. My only hope was that she’d do it quickly.
But she didn’t move. As I absorbed her innocent, polite words, the look on her face was calm, and I wondered if this was typically the way a conversation went before she devoured her prey. I wondered how many people she’d eaten. Not humans, not people from Earth, but the ones from where she came from. The fact that she doesn’t scare the shit out of those people means they’re staggeringly dumber than humans.
Finally, I rounded a corner, both relieved at having her out of my sight and worried that she would take that moment to come find me. When she’d been within eyeshot, I had at least known where she was and could run in the other direction. But I didn’t hear the sound of faint footsteps moving rapidly toward me. All was quiet, in that deep, smothering way that only an empty business in the middle of the night in small town America could be.
My hands trembling, I barely paid attention to anything but the confirmation that my surroundings were free of the colossal spider as I finally got back to the door. Grabbing the handle and letting my eyes dart around for about ten seconds and my ears prick for the slightest sound, I finally swiped my key card across the pad and went inside, shutting the door behind me and engaging the backup deadbolt.
Maybe that was why they had decided on keycards. If I was running from something and panicking, using an actual key or inserting the card like at a hotel would keep me from getting to safety considering my hands were shaking enough to mix a margarita.
Walking over to my chair, I fell into it, letting my body flush itself of terror as I looked up at the cameras. There she was, still in arachnid form, exactly where I’d left her behind that rinky-dink fence, casually looking around and slowly pacing back and forth. I stared at her as my racing heart gradually slowed, and a minute or so later she turned on her eight legs and walked back into the trees.
Whatever invisible fences the enclosures have apparently work, which is nice, because I wasn’t keen on getting killed by one of the creatures here. And that’s what brings me here, spilling out everything that’s happened so far. Because nearly passing out from terror isn’t something I wanted to deal with at work, obviously, but I keep going over what she did in my head again and again, and I feel like I reacted like a child who spotted a wolf spider on their bed. I started to worry for my overactive sense of self-preservation, at least in my capacity as an employee here.
The spider didn’t even try to hurt me, and so I was feeling a bit foolish. Even annoyed, actually, at the fact that I’d freaked out so hard and took off instead of trying to engage in at least basic conversation. I got the sense that she wasn’t at human-level intelligence, but I was never going to be able to hold any level of conversation with an alligator.
Sure, she did mention that she wouldn’t be so crass as to yank off my hand because she’d rather just have my entire corpse, but wouldn’t a wolf do the same if it was hungry? Wouldn’t any carnivore? Actually, they probably would’ve been satisfied with one of my hands. The fear here was from the fact that she turned into a giant spider. If she’d turned into Clifford, I would’ve reacted the same way, if not better than, meeting Leila.
With that, I decided I’m staying on the job. Considering how frustrated I can get with foolish people, it’s a bit hypocritical, and I’m being a bit of an idiot. But…there are definitely wards keeping them in their enclosures. Also, I signed up for creatures for another dimension, whether or not I believed in them at the time, and I will not let encountering my first one in an objectively boring way be the reason I quit.
The money is a factor, I’ll grant you. Of course it is. And I can’t spend it if I’m dead, but all signs point to surviving as long as I don’t do anything dumb. Also, yes, I’ll admit there’s a not-so-little voice in the back of my head that’s desperate to know what else is here. I never thought I’d do something like this, but finding out these things are real, I honestly do want to learn more about them.
Still, though, I decided to call Andrew at the end of my shift to ask if the pepper spray and taser I carried worked on a certain spider, as well as the other animals I’d yet to meet.
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storiesbykaren

And Adonijah slew sheep and oxen and fat cattle by the stone of Zoheleth, which is by Enrogel, and called all his brethren the king's sons, and all the men of Judah the king's servants:But Nathan the prophet, and Benaiah, and the mighty men, and Solomon his brother, he called not

Nathan and his nasty disgusting crew you are all the biggest bullies I have ever come across!!!! You are all the most putrid pack of fucking pathetic humans! Nathan you dirty pig of a man no wonder you have no friends and the only reason your so called little gang continue to talk to you is because the bullies have a fun time teasing you and egging you on! You don’t deserve anyone or anything in your life you deadset fat foul mouth pig of a thing!!!!!

I played a game inside of Retrostudio on ROBLOX where you pushed ragdolls into the abyss. I thought it was really good and gave me the same vibe of the types of games I would play in 2015 (admittedly, it's designed to look older though). I remember there were a bunch of different ragdoll sets and 2 different floors. Floor 1 had a horror set featuring characters like Freddy Krueger and Jason, there was a set with Telamon, there was a set with Homer and Peter Griffin which were different than the normal ragdolls because they had fat added to them. On the bottom floor there was a happy tree friends set. There were also some spongebob and south park ragdolls on the top. And there was a free model code so you could make your own ragdoll.
I played it like 3 months ago and can't find it. I thought I had favorited it but I guess not. If anyone has the username of the creator (their retrostudio avatar had a yellow head, sly cat face, a witch hat, and a witches brew t-shirt and I think "nathan" was in their username) or the retrostudio game id to the game I would appreciate it.
edit: I put unknown as the platform. I meant to put PC. I can't change it.

Yes, WAOLOM is a reference to Edward Albee’s play named, ‘Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf’ (the Woolf of it all making us go 'GAY') (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who%27s\_Afraid\_of\_Virginia\_Woolf%3F) but I believe the title of the song is a red herring (how many of us are having that phrase at the back of our minds while doing analysis for this album???…so it goes…) but I also think she’s possibly referencing another song from a musical/movie that, I think she may definitely be referencing.
The part that made me first think this is the line:
“i am what i am ‘cause you caged me”
—
At first I could not recall why this particular lyric is pinging around my brain in recognition—I have some muddled memory of a watching Betty Boop cartoons where Popeye made cameos with his catchphrase ‘I am what I am’ (pronounced “I Yam what I Yam”), but I ultimately don't think Taylor was referencing the racist & sexist cartoon so I went about my day.
Then, I was out getting my '3pm-touch-grass-hot-girl-coffee-walk' and my local coffee shop was playing known pride anthem, Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I am what I am’ (https://www.logotv.com/news/2b4yb4/i-am-what-i-am-logo30).
Gloria GAYNOR’s (if this is a nod to us, I CANNOT—Gaynor is TOO CLOSE to Gaylor and I can’t be convinced otherwise) hit single ‘I am what I am’ was released in 1983.
The song, ‘I am what I am’, was originally was released on Broadway for the musical, La Cage aux Folles (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I\_Am\_What\_I\_Am\_(Broadway\_musical\_song) in 1983.
(English Translation: The Crazy Cage—you might have heard of the more recent movie film adaptation ‘The Birdcage’ starring Robin Williams (who also starred in the Dead Poet’s Society and, oddly enough, also portrayed Popeye in a live action movie in 1980) and Nathan Lane as the same-sex couple the movie is centered around.
The plot of The Birdcage/La Cage aux Folles is about “A gay cabaret owner and his drag queen companion who agree to put up a false straight front so that their son can introduce them to his fiancée’s right-wing moralistic parents to them.) (https://youtu.be/Y46JSmjcpeM?si=IFuaIi8ljMSVTGAg).
But back to the Broadway musical—‘I Am What I Am’ comes at a pivotal point in *La Cage aux Folles—*in the final scene of Act I, Georges/Armand (movie version), tells his partner Albin/Albert (movie version) that he won’t be coming to meet their son’s fiancée and her parents because they are ultra-conservative. Albin/Albert proceeds to slap Georges/Armand, declares that they have a show to finish, and absolutely SLAYS the act 1 finale, ‘I Am What I Am’. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuqMUO7qno0)
However, when I sat down to compare the lyrics of WAOLOM and ‘I am what I am’, there is almost no connection. ‘I am what I am’ is a defiant hero song that declares 'I am me, I'm proud of me, You can't be happy until you show your true self to the world, despite what they’ve tried to make you' and WAOLOM is more a tongue-in-cheek, dripping with sarcasm, revenge song of how the narrator has been brutally molded into someone they are not, and someone that is ridiculed and who they themselves may be afraid/wary of.
However, I do think that in other parts of the play/film that directly related to WAOLOM--there are scenes where the character Albin/Albert grapples with hating their life, about only being a meal ticket to their partner before they have to go on for a performance. Some interesting lines that Albin/Albert has in this scene are:

“Never mind about my feelings. Never mind about my suffering. It’s just about “your show.” Not even “our” show. “Your” show.”
”Don’t use that tone to me! That sarcastic, contemptuous tone that means you know everything because you’re a man and i know nothing because I’m a woman.” “Whatever I am he made me. I was adorable once. Young and full of hope. Now i’m this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged thing.”

In the next scene, Georges/Armand and Albin/Albert have a fight that includes Albert saying the lines,

“There’s a man in your life, isn’t there? I sense it. And I saw a bottle of white wine chilling in the refrigerator. I only drink red. And so do you.”

(I don’t think this is related, it just made me chuckle in the context of Taylors ouevre so I thought I'd share it).
Anyway, thought these connections were too humorous/connected to not share, but ultimately they may just be queer coincidences that my queer brain recognized, and not actual references that Taylor intended with this song—so I thought I’d rather share this in the Megathread then in the WAOLOM thread--but I was unable to post a comment due to the length of my write-up, in the weekly Megatread so I created an individual post-- (Mod’s, please let me know if this was incorrect—also shout out to you 3 for trying to keep the crazy uptick in activity of the last couple of weeks organized. I appreciate you all and see you <3)

Carnivallium

• Bad Feeling (Oompa Loompa) by Jagwar Twin
• BOUNCE by BOYFRIEND
• Breaking your heart by Apache 207
• Carousel by Melanie Martinez
• Chained To The Rhythm by Katy Perry ft. Skip Marley
• CIRCUS by Stray Kids
• Daylight by Harry Styles
• Enjoy The Ride by Krewella
• Fantasy by Mariah Carey
• Give It To You by Jordan Knight
• Jackpot by Block B
• La La Love by WJSN
• Lady Marmalade by Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, P!nk
• Lock Me In by Circus Mircus
• MADE IN ITALY by Rosa Chemical, Bdope
• Mesmerize by Ja Rule ft. Ashanti
• My Way by Usher
• Smile by Katy Perry
• Trampoline by SHAED
• Who Knew by P!nk
• XO by Beyoncé
• Zimzalabim by Red Velvet

Cyberfunk

• Alive by Krewella
• All This Love by Robin Schulz ft. Harlœ
• Around The World by Daft Punk
• Be Who You Are (Real Magic) by Jon Batiste, J.I.D, NewJeans, Camilo
• Bist Du Okay by Mark Forster, VIZE
• Bling Bling by ALTÉGO
• Blow by Ke$ha
• Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
• Bulletproof by La Roux
• Can't We Pretend by P!nk ft. Cash Cash
• Check It Out by will.i.am, Nicki Minaj
• Come Dance With Me by DJ Roc
• Commander by Kelly Rowland ft. David Guetta
• Cooler Than Me by Mike Posner
• Cry For You by September
• Different Shapes by Frequent Flyer
• DNA by Craig David & Galantis
• Everybody by Nicki Minaj ft. Lil Uzi Vert
• Fast Forward by JEON SOMI
• Five More Hours by Deorro x Chris Brown
• FUTURO by Mark Matt
• Get Up by Imagination Movers
• Grand by Kane Brown
• Green Waves (Зелёные Волны) by Zivert
• GUARANTEE (SUMMER MIX) by Black Eyed Peas ft. J. Rey Soul
• Higher Power by Coldplay
• I Cry by Flo Rida
• I Don't Wanna Wait by David Guetta & OneRepublic
• I Don't Want It To Stop by Harlin James
• I Remember by deadmau5 & Kaskade
• Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas
• In The City by Charli XCX & Sam Smith
• Killer by Why So Sad, Kush Kush, Louis III
• LA DI DA by EVERGLOW
• Lights Off by We Are Domi
• Line by Triana Park
• Listen To Your Heart (Furious F. EZ Radio Edit) by DHT ft. Edmee
• Love Again by Alok ft. Alida
• Love At First Sight by Kylie Minogue
• Love Is Gone (Fred Riester & Joachim Garraud Radio Edit Remix) by David Guetta & Chris Willis
• LoveStoned / I Think She Knows by Justin Timberlake
• Lyrics (Лирика) by Filatov & Karas ft. Masha
• Make You The One by XO-IQ
• Midnight City by M83
• Miracle by Cascada
• Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust
• My Life by Nicki Minaj
• Neon Lights by Demi Lovato
• One (Your Name) by Swedish House Mafia ft. Pharrell Williams
• One More Time by Daft Punk
• Play by Jennifer Lopez
• Play It Cool by Steve Aoki & MONSTA X
• Pomegranate by deadmau5 ft. The Neptunes
• Ride It by Regard
• Right Now by Nick Jonas vs. Robin Schulz
• Rock That Body by Black Eyed Peas
• Run Away by Sunstroke Project & Olia Tra
• Scandalous by Gryffin & Tinashe
• Seeya by deadmau5 ft. Colleen D’Agostino
• Shelter by Porter Robinson & Madeon
• Shooting Stars by Bag Raiders
• Slow Down by Selena Gomez
• Speed by Page Kennedy
• Stadium Rave by Mark Governor
• Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris ft. Florence Welch
• This Girl by Kungs vs. Cookin' On 3 Burners
• This Is What You Came For by Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
• Time Lapse by TheFatRat
• Turn Me On by David Guetta ft. Nicki Minaj
• Turn Me On by Riton x Oliver Heldens ft. Vula
• U Got That by Halogen
• Unity by TheFatRat
• What If by Tokio Hotel
• Who's That Chick by David Guetta ft. Rihanna
• Worth The Risk by Sam Rivera
• Zig Zag by Clarx

Dancity

• "A"-You're Adorable (The Alphabet Song) by Gordon MacRae & Jo Stafford
• (There's Gotta Be) More To Life by Stacie Orrico
• 100 Times by Jax Jones
• 3615 Bonheur by Soprano
• Abracadabra by Wes Nelson ft. Craig David
• All 4 U by Jax Jones
• All For You by Janet Jackson
• All Star by Smash Mouth
• Alright by David Choi
• Ballin' by Mustard ft. Roddy Ricch
• Bellyache by Billie Eilish
• Better Place by *NSYNC
• Breaking Me by Topic, A7S
• Can't Stay Away by Darin
• Celeb by PSY
• Chariot by Gavin DeGraw
• Children's Story by Slick Rick
• Club Can't Handle Me by Flo Rida ft. David Guetta
• Crank That (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy
• Dance The Night by Dua Lipa
• Day 'N' Nite by Kid Cudi
• Days Go By by Dirty Vegas
• DEBT by Shalco, Tianda
• Desculpa Por Eu Não Te Amar by Thiago Pantaleão
• Disko by LPS
• Don't Tell 'Em by Jeremih ft. YG
• Downtown by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis ft. Eric Nally, Melle Mel, Kool Moe Dee & Grandmaster Caz
• Electric Energy by Ariana DeRose, Boy George, Nile Rodgers
• End Of Beginning by Djo
• Everybody by Justice Crew
• Exceptional by Babyface
• Face Off by Tech N9ne ft. Joey Cool, King Iso & Dwayne Johnson
• Fake It by Tauren Wells ft. Aaron Cole
• Far Away by Nickelback
• Find Your Love by Drake
• Fireworks by Purple Disco Machine ft. Moss Kena & The Knocks
• GASLIGHT by INJI
• get him back! by Olivia Rodrigo
• Get This Party Started by P!nk
• Gigolo by Nick Cannon ft. R. Kelly
• Going Big by Via The Great
• Happiness by Alexis Jordan
• Happy Song by Kaash Paige
• Hard 2 Forget by Steps
• Here by Alessia Cara
• Hero by Chad Kroeger ft. Josey Scott
• HUMBLE. by Kendrick Lamar
• I Don't Believe You Want To Get Up And Dance (Oops, Up Side Your Head) by The Gap Band
• I Live My Life by Pearls Of Ibiza
• I Wrote A Song by Mae Muller
• If Everyone Cared by Nickelback
• I'm Every Woman by Whitney Houston
• In The Morning by Jaded
• International Love by Pitbull ft. Chris Brown
• Intuition by Jewel
• Intuition by Selena Gomez & The Scene ft. Eric Bellinger
• It Is What It Is by Jenna Raine
• Jump by Flo Rida ft. Nelly Furtado
• JUST DANCE! by Travis Japan
• Just Got Paid by Sigala, Ella Eyre, Meghan Trainor ft. French Montana
• Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down
• L.O.L. by Sinai Rose
• Leave (Get Out) by JoJo
• Let's Have A Ceili by The Wiggles
• Lie To Me by Mikolas Josef
• Life by Des'ree
• Life by Zivert
• Lighter by Nathan Dawe x KSI
• Like A G6 by Far East Movement ft. The Cataracs & DEV
• Like I Love You by Nico Santos, Topic
• Live My Life by Far East Movement ft. Justin Bieber
• Living For The City by Stevie Wonder
• Looking Like This by Lyre Le Temps
• Love Yourself by Billy Porter
• Madrid City by Ana Mena
• Maria by Justin Bieber
• Marry The Night by Lady Gaga
• Me And You by Maejor
• MIC Drop (Steve Aoki Remix) by BTS
• Middle by DJ Snake ft. Bipolar Sunshine
• Mmm Yeah by Austin Mahone ft. Pitbull
• Mona Lisa by Dominic Fike
• Mother by Meghan Trainor
• Move It by Jaded
• My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne
• Need It by Migos ft. YoungBoy Never Broke Again
• Never Give Up by Sia
• Never Let Me Let You Go by Shawn Hook
• Night Of My Life by DJ Pauly D ft. Dash
• Not My Fault by Reneé Rapp, Megan Thee Stallion
• Not Quite (Не Точно) by ALEKSEEV
• Nothin' On You by B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars
• Oh NaNa by K.A.R.D
• OMG by Usher ft. will.i.am
• On & On by Cartoon ft. Daniel Levi
• Optimistic by Sounds Of Blackness
• Party Like A Rockstar by Shop Boyz
• Perfect by Justin Timberlake, Eric Andre, Daveed Diggs, Kid Cudi & Troye Sivan
• Pink Friday Girls by Nicki Minaj
• Pop by *NSYNC
• Power Ups by RDGLDGRN
• Probably (たぶん) by YOASOBI
• Pub Feed by The Chats
• Ride Wit Me by Nelly ft. City Spud
• Ridin' by Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone
• Rolex by Ayo & Teo
• Save Somebody by Deitrick Haddon ft. Damita Haddon
• Say Hey (I Love You) by Michael Franti & Spearhead
• Set Me Free by Eden Alene
• Shake The Ground by Serge
• Shorty (You Keep Playin" With My Mind) by Imajin ft. Keith Murray
• Show Me by Kid Ink ft. Chris Brown
• Silver Bells That Ring At Night by The Wiggles
• Somebody by Natalie La Rose ft. Jeremih
• Something New by Zendaya ft. Chris Brown
• Sorry For Party Rocking by LMFAO
• Standing Next To You by Jung Kook
• Starlight by The Supermen Lovers ft. Mani Hoffman
• SUCKER 4 GREEN by LIL TAY
• Sunflower by Post Malone, Swae Lee
• Tangled Up In Me by Skye Sweetnam
• That's How You Write A Song by Alexander Rybak
• The Boys by Nicki Minaj, Cassie
• The Breaks by Kurtis Blow
• The DLOW Shuffle by iAmDLOW
• The Judge by Drax Project
• The One That Got Away by Katy Perry
• Thousand Hours by Flight
• Time Of Our Lives by Pitbull, Ne-Yo
• Tonight Again by Guy Sebastian
• Torn by Ava Max
• Trendsetter by Connor Price & Haviah Mighty
• Trumpets Blow by Kierra Sheard
• Turn Down For What by DJ Snake, Lil Jon
• Undress Rehearsal by Timeflies
• Victory Dance by DeStorm Power ft. T-Coles
• Violent Thing by Ben Dolic
• We Run The Night by Havana Brown ft. Pitbull
• Well Hello by Kali J.
• What's The Move by Jafunk, Nic Hanson & NanaBcool ft. Triple H Horns
• Whip It by Nicki Minaj
• Wop by J. Dash
• Yeah 3x by Chris Brown
• yes, and? by Ariana Grande
• You Know You Like It by DJ Snake, AlunaGeorge

Eternyx

• After Hours by The Weeknd
• Bad by David Guetta & Showtek ft. Vassy
• Beautiful Monster by Ne-Yo
• Black And White by Rudy Mancuso & Poo Bear
• Black Magic by Little Mix
• BLACK MIRROR by ONEUS
• Boyfriend by Dove Cameron
• Cruel by Jax Jones
• Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy
• Dani California by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
• Demons by Imagine Dragons
• Dolls by Bella Poarch
• Emotions by Grant Knoche
• Empty by Jaiden & Boyinaland
• Fighter by Christina Aguilera
• Fill The Void by Alli Fitz
• Fragile by Tech N9ne ft. ¡MAYDAY!, Kendall Morgan & Kendrick Lamar
• Galvanize by The Chemical Brothers
• Ghost by Ava Max
• Ghost by Ella Henderson
• Going Under by Evanescence
• Graveyard by Halsey
• Heathens by twenty one pilots
• Hide Away by SYNAPSON ft. Holly
• I Don't Want It All by Kim Petras
• I Wanna Be Your Ghost (異世界混合大舞踏会) by Gen Hoshino ft. Ghosts
• In The Dark by DEV
• Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
• Joke's On You by Charlotte Lawrence
• Just Wanna Rock by Lil Uzi Vert
• Let It Rock by Kevin Rudolf ft. Lil Wayne
• MANIAC by Stray Kids
• me & ur ghost by blackbear
• Mirror by Lil Wayne ft. Bruno Mars
• Monster by Lady Gaga
• My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light Em Up) by Fall Out Boy
• nihilist blues by Bring Me To Horizon ft. Grimes
• No Angels by Justin Timberlake
• Nobody by Skindred
• Paint The Town Red by Doja Cat
• Patience by KSI ft. YUNGBLUD & Polo G
• Psycho by Dixie D'Amelio ft. Rubi Rose
• Push The Feeling On (The Dub Of Doom) by Nightcrawlers
• Quake by Dirty Audio & Slippy
• Rampampam by Minelli
• Rodeo by Lil Nas X, Nas
• Sadie by Lady Heroine
• She Wolf by Shakira
• Sick And Tried by Mad Modishi ft. Dayon
• Somebody’s Watching Me by Rockwell
• Spooky Scary Skeletons by The Living Tombstone
• Streets by Doja Cat
• The Boom Boom Song by Imagination Movers
• The Hills by The Weeknd
• The Perfect Girl by Mareux
• The Wolf by SIAMÉS
• This Kind Of Love by The Future X
• Thunder by Imagine Dragons
• Unholy by Sam Smith, Kim Petras
• VAMPIROS by ROSALÍA, Rauw Alejandro
• Villain by Bella Poarch
• W.I.T.C.H. by Devon Cole
• What I Want by The Living Tombstone
• Wicked Games by The Weeknd
• You Own Me by The Chainsmokers
• ZITTI E BUONI by Måneskin

Floworld

• Centuries by Fall Out Boy
• Circles by Post Malone
• Conqueror by Mali Music
• Crown by Camila Cabello & Grey
• Fuego by Eleni Foureira
• Heart Of A Warrior by Dizzee Rascal ft. Teddy Sky
• INDUSTRY BABY by Lil Nas X, Jack Harlow
• J CHRIST by Lil Nas X
• King by Years & Years
• Kings & Queens by Ava Max
• Legends by Sleeping With Sirens
• Pink Venom by BLACKPINK
• prince of egypt by mofe.
• Roses by Muharram
• Royals by Lorde
• Royalty by Egzod & Maestro Chives ft. Neoni
• Rumors by Lizzo ft. Cardi B
• Samsara by Tungevaag & Raaban ft. Emila
• Trap Queen by Fetty Wap
• Two Princes by Spin Doctors
• Unicorn by Noa Kirel

Melosia Realms

• Baby, I'm Jealous by Bebe Rexha ft. Doja Cat
• Beautiful by Bazzi ft. Camila Cabello
• BIBA by Marshmello x Pritam ft. Shirley Setia
• Big Energy by Latto
• Bom Diggy by Zack Knight x Jasmin Walia
• Breathe by Jax Jones ft. Ina Wroldsen
• breathin by Ariana Grande
• Cinderella by The Cheetah Girls
• Déjà Vu by Beyoncé ft. JAY-Z
• Emotional Prism by Mikazuki BIGWAVE
• Genie In A Bottle by Christina Aguilera
• Good Days by SZA
• Leiser by LEA
• Let Go by Ark Patrol ft. Veronika Redd
• Magic by Kat Graham
• Mandala by KSHMR & Marnik ft. Mitika
• my future by Billie Eilish
• Naturally by Selena Gomez & The Scene
• No Promises by Cheat Codes ft. Demi Lovato
• Not Ok by Kygo, Chelsea Cutler
• Outside by Rhea Raj
• Queen Of Rain by Roxette
• Roses by The Chainsmokers ft. ROZES
• Sign by FLOW
• Sweetest Pie by Megan Thee Stallion & Dua Lipa
• Wild Thoughts by DJ Khaled ft. Rihanna, Bryson Tiller
• Wildest Dreams (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift
• You Broke My Heart Again by Jax Jones, Teqkoi, Aiko

Sun Horizon

• 1, 2, 3 by Sofia Reyes ft. Jason Derulo & De La Ghetto
• BAILA by Eva Simons
• Beach House by Carly Rae Jepsen
• Body by Loud Luxury ft. brando
• Bubbly by Colbie Caillat
• Caramello by Rocco Hunt ft. Elettra Lamborghini, Lola Indigo
• Chop Life by Gdzilla
• Coco by Jala Brat & Buba Corelli
• Crab Rave by Noisestorm
• Cruel Summer (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift
• Damn (You've Got Me Saying) by Galantis, David Guetta & MNEK
• Danza Kuduro by Don Omar ft. Lucenzo
• Deep In The Bottom (Of Africa) by Monique Bingham, Black Coffee
• deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo
• Diggy Dee by Charly Black, Sak Noel
• Don't Waste My Time by Usher ft. Ella Mai
• Everything About U by IM5
• Feels Like Summer by Childish Gambino
• Hey Ma by Pitbull & J Balvin ft. Camila Cabello
• Hot by INNA
• Hot In Herre by Nelly
• Kute & Neat by Sasique
• Link Up by Ne-Yo
• Living Without You by Sigala, David Guetta, Sam Ryder
• Maan Meri Jaan (Afterlife) by King x Nick Jonas
• Made For Now by Janet Jackson x Daddy Yankee
• MAMIII by Becky G, KAROL G
• Music (Keeps Me Movin') by The Fresh Beat Band
• Mwaki by Zerb ft. Sofiya Nzau
• No Candle No Light by ZAYN ft. Nicki Minaj
• Obsessed by Calvin Harris ft. Charlie Puth & Shenseea
• Ocean Man by Ween
• Outside Vibes by Flight
• Pirate by EVERGLOW
• Pocketful Of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield
• RITMO by Black Eyed Peas, J Balvin
• Rush by Troye Sivan
• Savannah by Diviners ft. Philly K
• Sexy Chick by David Guetta ft. Akon
• Soak Up The Sun by Sheryl Crow
• South Beach Stars by Gigi Rowe
• Summer Feelings by Lennon Stella ft. Charlie Puth
• Summer Girls by LFO
• Summertime Magic by Childish Gambino
• Summertime Sadness (Cedric Gervais Remix) by Lana Del Rey
• Take You There by Sean Kingston
• This Summer's Gonna Hurt... by Maroon 5
• Toca Toca by Fly Project
• Together Again by Janet Jackson
• Tourner Dans Le Vide by Brian Michael Hinds
• Turn Up The Sunshine by Diana Ross ft. Tame Impala
• Up All Night by Beck
• Water by Tyla
• Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles

WackyGroove

• 4EVA by KAYTRAMINÉ ft. Pharrell Williams
• Axel F by Crazy Frog
• AY AY AY by QPark
• Banana by The Aggrolites
• Bangs At The Waist (Чупки В Кръста) by Fiki
• Beautiful Mistakes by Maroon 5 ft. Megan Thee Stallion
• Beekeeper (Пчеловод) by RASA
• Betty Boop by Charlie Puth
• Bumble Bee by Bambee
• Chicken Noodle Soup by Webstar, Young B ft. The Voice Of Harlem
• Coincidance by Handsome Dancer
• Crazy Loop (Mm-Ma-Ma) by Dan Bălan
• Cupid by FIFTY FIFTY
• Dessert by Dawin ft. Silentó
• Doctor's Looney Remedy by Parachute Express
• Dogs by IShowSpeed & Kai Cenat
• Doodah by Cartoons
• El Pollito Pio by PULCINO PIO
• Fly Like A Butterfly by Badanamu
• Freaks by Timmy Trumpet & Savage
• Funny Song by Crazy Frog
• FVN! by LVL1
• Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless) by Crystal Waters
• I'm A Banana! (Я Банан!) by PERFAM
• In Style (На Стиле) by Vremya i Steklo
• Made You Look by Meghan Trainor
• Miss You by Oliver Tree & Robin Schulz
• Pancake by Jaded ft. Ashnikko
• Panda by Desiigner
• Play by Jax Jones, Years & Years
• PPAP (Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen) by Pikotaro
• Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop) by Scatman John
• Shake by L.L.A.M.A, Ne-Yo, Carmen DeLeon
• Shut Up Chicken (Just Dance Version) by El Capon
• Soap by Melanie Martinez
• Sour Candy by Lady Gaga, BLACKPINK
• Tootsie Pop by BFFB
• Wonderland by Caravan Palace

Wasterra

• 21st Century Girl by WILLOW
• A Year Without Rain by Selena Gomez & The Scene
• Africa by Toto
• Afterlife by iamnotshane
• Austin by Dasha
• Beautiful Things by Benson Boone
• Big Enough by Kirin J Callinan ft. Alex Cameron, Molly Lewis, Jimmy Barnes
• California Love by 2Pac ft. Dr. Dre
• Down Under by Men At Work
• Feels Right (I Love It) by Flo Rida, Brian Kelley
• Hero by Enrique Iglesias
• I Got You by Bebe Rexha
• Lovers On The Sun by David Guetta ft. Sam Martin
• Pony by Ginuwine
• Sandstorm by Darude
• So Long by Diplo ft. Cam
• TEXAS HOLD 'EM by Beyoncé
• That That by PSY ft. SUGA Of BTS
• The First Cut Is The Deepest by Sheryl Crow
• Try by P!nk
• Vertigo by U2
• Wasted On You by Morgan Wallen
• World On Fire by Nate Smith

Winterhaven

• 7-11 by Eskimo Disco
• All I Have by Jennifer Lopez ft. LL Cool J
• Answer by ATEEZ
• Carol Of The Bells by The Living Tombstone
• Christmas Music by Charles Jenkins
• Cold by Maroon 5 ft. Future
• DJ Play A Christmas Song by Cher
• Doing A Dance by The Wiggles
• Frost (Инея) by #2Mashi
• Frozen by Madonna
• HOLIDAY by Lil Nas X
• ICE AGE by MCND
• Ice Box by Omarion
• Icebreaker by Agnete
• Jingle Bell Rock by Bobby Helms
• Mistletoe by Justin Bieber
• Perfect by Ed Sheeran
• Really Love by KSI ft. Craig David & Digital Farm Animals
• Rockin' On Top Of The World by Steven Tyler
• SHUM by Go_A
• White Night by PSY x Heize

Earth

• (You Are A) Model Human by Jogurt ft. Commander Meouch Of TWRP
• 911 by From The Series "Danger Rangers"
• Another Mistake by YonKaGor
• Bing Bang by From The Series "LazyTown"
• CANDLELIGHTS by Vivziepop
• Caramelldansen by Caramella Girls
• Cuban Pete by Jim Carrey
• Dance Mode by From The Series "Bluey"
• Electricity by 3 Dog Band
• Enemy by Imagine Dragons x J.I.D
• Equestria Girls Forever by My Little Pony ft. Angelic
• Find The Magic by From The Series "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Better Together
• Girls Girls Girls by Dolly Style
• Habibi by Dolly Style
• Häschenparty by Schnuffel Bunny ft. Michael Wendler
• I'm On A Yacht by From The Series "My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Better Together
• I2I by Disney's "A Goofy Movie"
• It's All Up To Me by From The Series "Danger Rangers"
• Jekyll And Hyde by From The Series "Arthur"
• Leave It All To Me by Miranda Cosgrove ft. Drake Bell
• Love Louder by The Meeps
• Love Love Alien (スキスキ星人) by Strawberry Prince
• Make It Shine by Victorious Cast ft. Victoria Justice
• Men In Black by Will Smith
• Monster High Fright Song by Monster High
• My Shiny Teeth & Me by From The Series "The Fairly OddParents"
• No Big Deal by From The Series "Amphibia"
• Nobody Like U by 4*TOWN
• Pingu Dans by Chris Van Tongelen
• Protect Your Ears by From The Series "Danger Rangers"
• Roar by From The Series "The Lionhearts"
• Sidechain Fever by LJ LephemStar
• Sing A Song by The Wubb Girlz ft. Beyoncé
• Skat Strut by MC Skat Kat And The Stray Mob ft. Paula Abdul
• Snuggle Song by Schnuffel Bunny
• So Alone by Anna Blue
• Teenage Crush Chocolate (青春チョコレート) by Strawberry Prince
• The Best Day Ever by From The Series "SpongeBob SquarePants"
• U Know What's Up by 4*TOWN
• VILLAIN by K/DA ft. Madison Beer & Kim Petras
• We Are Believix by Winx Club ft. Elizabeth Gillies
• Wish Now by Star Darlings
• Your Heart by Damien Dawn

Space

• Alien by Sabrina Carpenter & Jonas Blue
• Astronaut In The Ocean by Masked Wolf
• Bend The Knee by Bruno Martini, IZA, Timbaland
• Catchy Song by Dillon Francis ft. T-Pain & That Girl Lay Lay
• Dangerous by David Guetta ft. Sam Marin
• Get Into It (Yuh) by Doja Cat
• Interstellar Simon by Color Theory
• Lucky Stars by Take That
• Meet Me Halfway by Black Eyed Peas
• My Universe by Coldplay x BTS
• Rock It (To The Moon) by RuPaul
• Saturn by SZA
• Shed A Light by Robin Schulz & David Guetta & Cheat Codes
• SPACE MAN by Sam Ryder
• Starboy by The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk
• The 7th Element by VITAS
• The Zeezap Song by The Wiggles
• What It Feels Like by Navos x Galantis ft. YOU
• Woodpeckers In Space by VideoKids

Everywhere

• Back In Time by Pitbull
• Dance And Chant by Yolanda Be Cool
• Let's Go by Calvin Harris ft. Ne-Yo
• World, Hold On (Children Of The Sky) by Bob Sinclar ft. Steve Edwards

Events are listed by the day. Events that happen every week appear first, one time stuff after that. If you have anything you’d like people to know about, comment here or message me and I’ll add it in. If you’d like further info about any of the events, look it up! I usually don’t have any extra to add.
Large Scale, Ongoing, and Multi-Day Events

• Word of the South! Word of [South], a festival of literature and music, is a unique blend of writers and musicians and an exploration of the relationship between the two disciplines. Beginning with our first festival in 2015, the festival showcases authors who write about music, musicians who also are authors, authors and musicians trading places, and everything in between. We’re especially proud of our “mu-aushups”: authors and musicians appearing together (some of whom have never met), as well as our cookbook authors, kids programming and musical performances of every genre--we’ve got gospel and HipHop, pop and bluegrass, jazz and country, Americana and R&B. Bring the whole family, and come see what’s down South! Saturday and Sunday, mostly free. Check the schedule here, it’s usually amazing: https://wordofsouthfestival.com/
  
• American Vintage Markets at the N FL Fairgrounds. Inspired by the love of vintage and handmade, American Vintage Markets is pleased to bring together a wide array of carefully curated vendors who will showcase their best re-cycled, re-purposed, handcrafted, and re-imagined treasures. A true delight for your pickin' pleasure! Sat and Sun, 9am-4pm, $8
  
• Thomasville Rose Show and Festival. Held in historic Downtown Thomasville, the Rose Show and Festival has been a southwest Georgia tradition for over 100 years. Featuring several flower shows, a car and truck show, a rose parade, an artisan market, and more, you don't want to miss this celebration. Events Friday and Saturday. See the site for details: https://thomasvillega.com/attractions/events/thomasville-rose-show-and-festival
  
• Tallahassee Indie Bookstore Crawl. Celebrate Independent Bookstore Day by supporting all of Tallahassee's indie bookstores with an all-weekend bookstore crawl! Get your punch-card signed at all 6 stores and enter to win some awesome prizes. (Bookstore hours vary) Bookstores include: Common Ground Books, Fat Cat Books, Cosmic Cat Comics, Lake of Fire Books, Fallout Comics, My Favorite Books, Midtown Reader. Saturday and Sunday
  

Local Running, Walking, and Biking Info: https://troubleafoot.blogspot.com/
Guided Paddling Outings all around the area: https://www.facebook.com/hsmithoutdoors
Tallahassee Film Society Showings: https://www.tallahasseefilms.com/tickets/
Book Clubs for all tastes: https://www.facebook.com/midtownreadeevents
Live Theater:

• Making Light Productions: https://www.makinglightproductions.org/
  
• Theatre Tallahassee: https://theatretallahassee.org/
  
• Mickee Faust Club: https://www.mickeefaust.com/
  
• Monticello Opera House: https://www.monticellooperahouse.org/
  
• FSU School of Theatre: https://theatre.fsu.edu/productions/
  
• Young Actors Theatre: https://www.youngactorstheatre.com/
  
• Quincy Music Theatre: https://quincymusictheatre.com/
  
• Tallahassee Hispanic Theater: https://tallahasseehispanictheater.wordpress.com/
  

OutdooFarmer’s Markets:

• Lake Ella Grower's Market: Wednesday and Saturday, 11am-2pm. You can always find organic vendors, and foragers: The Holistic Cannabis Community, Artzi Farms, Hickory Nut Gifts, and others. Including Pita Queen! Farmer's Market Nutrition Program Coupons gladly accepted!
  
• Tallahassee Downtown Market: Saturdays, 10am-2pm, Park Ave Parks. Vendors display their arts and fine crafts, jewelry, handmade soap, pottery, Fresh from Florida produce, hand-raised beef and pork, fresh baked bread, jams and jellies, and honey. Live music from different local musicians every Saturday.
  
• Frenchtown Heritage Market: 524 N MLK Jr Blvd. Third Saturday of the month 10am to 2pm. Come grow community and support your local farmers and makers, while you get your groceries for the week! Don’t forget! We match SNAP/EBT, so you DOUBLE your money to go towards locally grown fresh fruits and vegetables! If the guy with the pineapple is there, get it. This is currently only happening on the third Saturday of the month for the next few months while road work is completed.
  
• Tallahassee Farmers Market: 2904 Kerry Forest Pkwy, Saturdays, 8am to Noon. Come see us at Tallahassee's longest-running farmers market! We are a year-round market, featuring local farms and vendors that provide the best seasonal produce, meats, baked goods, and more. We welcome you and your whole family (leashed pets included) to come out and meet your local farmers! Ample parking is available between our lot and the shopping center lot next door (by Red Elephant). Come early for the best selection.
  

THURSDAY, 4/25

• The Hub at Feather Oaks: Bingo. 6pm
  
• Dreamland BBQ: Weekly Open Blues Jam. If you'd like to sing, please bring your own mic. 6pm
  
• Honest Living Vape: Chess-Master Thursdays . Beginners and experts, join us every Thursday from 6-9 for Chess-Master Thursdays. All ages. Bring your board or play ours! Tournaments coming soon! 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Co: Open Mic Night! Join us on Thursdays from 6:30-9:30 PM for Open Mic Night hosted by the incredible Mike Ingram of The Brown Goose! This is your chance to show off your skills! Whether you're a musician, poet, comedian, or have a hidden talent, we can't wait to see what you bring to the stage. 6:30pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Takko Market Square: Bingo Night. 7pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Karaoke with Jared Walker. 7pm
  
• Amicus Brewing: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Smitty's Taphouse: Trivia Lab Thursdays. Teams of 6 or fewer players can compete for $30 / $20 / $10 Prizes + The Golden MacGuffin prize table! New format! Interactive smartphone answering for your comfort and safety! 6 Fun Rounds - 42 Total Questions. 7:30pm
  
• Cap City Video Lounge: "Manos" The Hands of Fate & The Touch of Satan! MST3K Thursday. Join us Thursday as we climb aboard The Satellite of Love along with Joel, Tom Servo and CROOOOW as they crack wise over two very bizarre treks into the occult with the legendary episodes "MANOS" THE HANDS OF FATE followed by THE TOUCH OF SATAN! 7:30pm/free but donations encouraged
  
• Studio D: Bachata Fever. We always have a bachata workshop at 8 pm before Bachata Fever. We dance afterwards to the sounds of DJ Bacharod. The class is at 8 pm and Bachata Fever will start at 930 pm. Many times people are learning in class and may feel uncomfortable social dancing while they are still learning moves. We have a welcoming environment so stay and have fun and dance with everyone. That is how we learn. 8pm/Class $5/Bachata Fever $5.
  
• The Sound Bar: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Open Mic. 8:30pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm
  
• 926: Karaoke. 9pm
  
• Bird’s: Karaoke with Nathan. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Rachel’s Reading Club – sight reading with Rachel Hillman. 5pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Ben Baggett. 6pm
  
• Club Downunder: CDU x TMIC Presents: Local Covers featuring Kanise, On The Edge, Chef Will & Tonight’s Special, Hey Cheetah, No Parts, and Mutual Friends covering the music of Beyonce, The Backseat Lovers, Kendrick Lamar, Bruno Mars + Silk Sonic, Paramore, and Nirvana. 6:30pm
  
• Retrofit Records: Justice “Hyperdrama” Album Listening Event. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Tearman, Sour, and Ellen Fish. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Atala Quartet. 8pm
  
• Houe of Music: Selwyn Birchwood. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Movie Night: screening of Robert Stone’s “Radio Bikini”. 8pm
  

FRIDAY, 4/26

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour with Steve Malono. 5pm
  
• Lake Tribe Brewing: Flannel Fridays with Live Music. 6pm
  
• Hobbit West: Friday Night Dart Tournament. Anyone can Enter! Sign ups at 7:30, Darts fly at 8:00/$10 entry fee
  
• Ouzts Too: Karaoke with DJ Nathan. Best karaoke DJ in town. 8pm
  
• Just One More: Karaoke with DJ Rah. 9pm-11pm/21+
  
• 926: The Hot Friday Night Party and Drag Show. 9pm/$5/18+
  

• Bleu Tavern: Two Clever. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Pineapple Tuesday. 6pm
  
• Lake Tribe: Deja Blu. 6pm
  
• Goodwood: Pig & Pearl: Preservation on the Halfshell. On April 26, embrace the power of preservation with Southern food traditions as Goodwood and presenting sponsor Prime Meridian Bank host a night of live music and culinary traditions. Enjoy Goodwood's beautiful historic backdrop in the heart of Tallahassee, while dining and sipping on a specialty cocktail (created uniquely for this event and poured by local celebrity bartenders) during this night to remember. Inspired by the people whose lives shaped the story of the Red Hills region, Pig & Pearl: Preservation on the Halfshell is a fundraising benefit that supports Goodwood Museum & Gardens in its pursuit of keeping a piece of Tallahassee’s history alive and accessible to all people. Alongside the pork, oysters (fried and on the half shell), salmon, and southern sides, live music from natural storyteller and one-woman band Anna Wescoat. Wescoat, who is the 2023 Best of Tallahassee performer, will bring her classic folk and country sound to this year's Pig & Pearl. Meanwhile, a free photo booth will capture snapshots of the night, allowing each guest to bring home special memories with friends and loved ones. The Carriage House at Goodwood Museum & Gardens will come alive with tradition, preservation, and community as friends (old and new) gather for a night to remember. 6pm/$125
  
• Cascades: Leon County and Word of South Present: The Flaming Lips performing “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots” in full + a second set of additional songs. 6pm
  
• Southwood Golf Club: Brett Wellman and the Stone Cold Blues Band. 6:30pm
  
• The Sound Bar: 323 Trio. 7pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Double Play. 7pm
  
• The Bark: Engineers Without Borders Fundraiser Show featuring The Relish Girls, Bench Warmer, Satin, and Sofia Camille. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Grateful Dead Night featuring Lee C. Payton and Hot Tamale. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Disco Never Died Dance Party. 9pm/21+/free
  

SATURDAY, 4/27

• Brinkley Glen Park: Invasive Plant Removal. Join Master Gardener Volunteers at this weekly invasive plant removal event. This is a great way to learn to ID our invasive plant species and how to remove them. We recommend wearing long pants and sleeves, closed-toed shoes, gloves, a hat and mosquito spray. Bring gardening tools such as hand clippers, loppers, trowels, etc. if you have them. We are removing coral ardisia bushes and berries, nandina, tung trees, Tradescantia flumenensis, cat's claw vine, winged yam, Japanese climbing fern, skunkvine and more. Directions: The best way to get there is to take Meridian Rd to Waverly Rd, go to the next intersection and turn left onto Abbotsford Way, then turn left at the next road called Woodside Dr. At the stop sign turn left onto Lothian. Lothian ends in a cul-de-sac and there is a sign that says Brinkley Glen Park. 8:30am-11:30am
  
• Gamescape: Saturday Gaming. Gamescape has relocated from Railroad Square to the Huntington Oaks Plaza (Suite 302, next to the Library) at N Monroe St and Fred George Rd. Open gaming tables are available. Noon-6pm
  
• Potbellys: 7th Annual FAKE St. Patrick's Day Party. 4pm
  
• Duke’s and Dottie’s: Line Dancing Plus Lessons. 7pm/21+
  
• Bird’s Oyster Shack: Laughterday Night Fever. * Join us every Saturday at Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack for a free comedy show!* 8:30pm
  
• 926: Latin Night. Dance to the irresistible beats of Zeus and prepare to be dazzled by a spectacular drag show at midnight. It's more than a party, it's an experience. 9:30pm/$10 21+, $15 under 21
  

• Native Nurseries: Together We Bloom: Annual Floral Arrangement Contest Open To All. There is no cost or registration required; we encourage all ages to make arrangements. Our one rule is to use only native plants. Drop off arrangements at the nursery that Saturday morning by 9:30 a.m. and people will have until 4:00 p.m. to vote on the best arrangement. The first place prize is a $25 gift certificate to Native Nurseries, along with mystery prizes for second and third places. The winners of our contest will be contacted the following Tuesday. There are no parameters regarding shape, size, or vessel. Any nursery visitor can cast their vote in the ballot box. 9:30am
  
• Carrabelle: 2024 Carrabelle Riverfront Festival. This year, the Carrabelle Chamber is thrilled to introduce the ADVENTURE FAMILY CIRCUS who will be thrilling festival goers with three exhilarating aerial circus shows. Adventure Family Circus is an internationally touring small family circus show. They are an AERIAL & ACROBATIC SHOW with acts including high flying aerial and acrobatic acts, aerial rope, aerial silks, aerial lyra, mini trampoline, juggling and comedy. It's a spectacle the whole family will enjoy! Also joining the Carrabelle Riverfront Festival will be REDEMPTIVE LOVE FARM & RESCUE bringing their PETTING ZOO and FEEDING STATION. Adults and children alike love to enter and get hands-on with the sweet farm pets including chickens, ducks, bunnies, and young goats. At the feeding station, guests can also meet which will include animals like a llama, mini-donkey, mini-cow, goat, alpaca, or emu! It's a hands-on experience that both children and adults will cherish. The festival will also feature the always popular activities for the kids, including children’s MINI-TRAIN RIDES and a BOUNCY HOUSE. These familiar favorites add additional fun to the already entertaining atmosphere. Feet will be tapping to the upbeat favorites from across the decades with talented musicians including JOHN JEREMIAH plus KEVIN ANDREW and the ROCKULLA PERFORMERS. Guests will also be delighted by wonderful dance performances of the FORGOTTEN COAST DANCING WITCHES. The entertainment doesn’t end there as there will also be fun music by DJ BEANIE BABY throughout the day. And of course the festival will feature the family-friendly EXHIBITOR EXPO on AVENUE B, hosted by the Carrabelle History Museum, with informative exhibits like a WWII military vehicle, the fire-wise cabin, shark jaws, animal skulls, and a display of Florida’s pioneer days. A wild animal ambassador, Moonlight, the Great Horned Owl will also be visiting from a local rescue. In addition Avenue B will host the Pet & People Cooling Station. Visitors can browse tons of festival VENDORS, EXHIBITORS, and booths with interesting arts and craft items, delicious food, and local displays as well as explore the local shops, museums, and restaurants for even more choices. There will be lots of yummy food to choose from like shrimp, conch fritters, Indian food, BBQ, plus festival treats like kettle corn, funnel cakes and shaved ice. 10am-6pm
  
• Civic Center: Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live Glow Party. Bringing fans' favorite Hot Wheels Monster Trucks to life including Mega Wrex, Tiger Shark, Demo Derby, Bone Shaker, Bigfoot, Gunkster, and introducing the brand new HW 5-Alarm, the firetruck hero of Hot Wheels Monster Trucks! The Glow Party production features a laser light show, spectacular theatrical effects, dance parties, and Hot Wheels toy giveaways. Fans can also witness a special appearance from a transforming robot, plus the high-flyers of Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Live Freestyle Motocross Team. Special kids pricing is available for all shows providing a great value for the whole family! 12:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Nighshift. 6pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Saylor Dollar Band. 7pm
  
• The Wine House on Market Street: Jazz Night with Some Goodfellas and Friends! 7pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Jimmy Brazen Band. 7pm
  
• TNL Performing Arts Center: SANKOFA Concert "Legends of Funk Jazz and Soul". We are featuring and celebrating the music of local legends and educators who have contributed to the arts of music and education here in Tallahassee and around the world. These artists represent the highest standard and love for the art of music, dedicating their lives to enriching the lives of others through the arts, education and culture. The Sankofa Concert is an educational but entertaining event that showcases and educates the community about the various forms of musical and artistic expressions performed by musicians and singers of the African Diaspora. Appearing on stage at the 5th Sankofa Concert will be 2x Grammy Award winner singesongwriter Kendra Foster; singesongwriter Cody ChesnuTT; Caribbean Gospel Music Award winners Ilismo & Lili Forbes; highly acclaimed singer, songwriter, and producer Anthony Williams; and Drummer on the Move, Marlon Williams. Also appearing will be Keith Rodgers, Avek La’Mou, Jordan Roberts, Alexander Williams, Shanice Richards, Nia Sissle and TheSoulCollectiveLive. Featured musicians are Joel Johnson, Sam Johnson, Joshua Rivers, Jordan Green, Steve Fryson, Michelle Waller, and many more. 7pm
  
• Square Mug Café at The Plant: Food Not Bombs Benefit Show featuring River City Riot, Gangs of Paris, Killer Choice, High Speed Suicide, Sp33d Runn3r, and Warmonger. 7pm
  
• Monk House (409 Murat Street): Fated to Burn, Psycho Tropical, Durty Suns. 7:30pm/$7
  
• The Sound Bar: Seminole Send Off with Weatherboys, Small Talk, and Abigail Jennings. 7:30pm/$10
  
• Capital City Tattooz: CCT Afterdark Party 2000s. Missed our first CCT Afterdark party and want in on the action? We’ll be hosting Afterdark parties on the last Saturday of every month, and this month’s theme is 2000’s! Join us on April 27th from 8 PM - 2 AM wearing your hottest y2K fits! 8pm
  
• House of Music: Tallahassee City Limits: Songwriter Sessions with Maurice Mangum. 8pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Once Great Estate. 9pm
  
• Eve at Adams: Hot Mess. 9pm
  
• Fire Bettys: The Apalachicola Sound. 9pm
  
• 926: Haus Of Solara Fundraiser Festival featuring drag performances and DJ sets from Iris Virus B2B Corduroy, A-Nine, and DJ Asexual. 9:30pm
  

SUNDAY, 4/28

• Bicycle House: Sunday Ride. Ride at 10:30 AM from Bicycle House. We will ride the Cascades trail to the St Marks trail and down to Wakulla station and return, about 31 miles. Ride speed is 12 to 14 mph, with periodic regroups. Vernon Bailey is the ride leader. Vernon is a new CCC member who’s been biking for 50 years enjoys riding with small groups and weekend touring. 10am
  
• Halisi Africa: Soulful Sundays. Join us for Motherland Brunch at Halisi Africa. We'll be serving our brunch special including an appetizer, main course, a sweet, and our signature African mimosas we call ukwaju. The event will also feature an art exhibition by Christopher Barnhart and live entertainment by local artists. 11am
  
• Flippin’ Great Pinball: $25 Sunday Funday. Every Sunday spend a fun-filled time with the family for only $25 plus tax at the arcade! Our normal all-day family admission of $34.99 is just $25 and that includes up to a family of 6 (two adults and four kids). Experience affordable family fun that everyone will enjoy. Noon-8pm
  
• E Peck Greene Park (Behind the LeRoy Collins Library): Food Not Bombs Free Mealshare. We offer free vegetarian/vegan food, water, coffee, personal care & hygiene products, bus passes, and clothing when we have some available to those in need. Contact foodnotbombstally@gmail.com to find out about getting involved. Noon-2pm
  
• LeRoy Collins Library: Tallahassee Go Club Meetings. Come play the captivating ancient game of Go, also known as Baduk, with some friendly games and discussions. Beginners welcome. Visit https://www.tallahasseegoclub.com for more information. 1pm
  
• Gamescape: Pokémon League. Come learn, play, and trade with the Pokémon Trading Card Game and the Pokémon video games! We LOVE seeing new players, so come learn how to play! We play both the Trading Card Game and the Video Game casually and competitively. The store offers lots of different seating arrangements to meet our group's needs, as well as food, drinks, and Pokémon products for purchase. We are also hold regular, officially sanctioned tournaments for Pokémon Trading Card Game and Video Game Competitions! 2-4pm
  
• The Plant: Open Jam. All instruments, all players welcome. 4pm-9pm
  
• Pedro’s: Mariachi Clasico. 6pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Open Mic Night Hosted by Conor Churchill. 7pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing: Comedy Night. Come have some laughs with us on Sunday nights! If you are interested in participating in the show, reach out to therealsleepypfloyd@gmail.com 7:30pm
  

• Ology: Marauder’s Market. Noon
  
• All Saints Cinema: Invisible History: Middle Florida’s Hidden Roots. This moving film transports the audience to a significant time during our past. Particularly during the Bicentennial year, it is important to share the gripping history about experiences on plantations in north Florida and highlight the lives of more than 9,000 enslaved men, women, and children in Tallahassee and Leon County. 1pm
  
• The Hub at Feather Oaks: The Jerry Thigpen Trio. 3pm
  
• The Bark: The Village Idiots, Counterfeit Stereo, and Amateur Act. 7pm
  

MONDAY, 4/29

• Just One More: Bingo. 5pm-6:30pm
  
• The Getaway Grille and Bar: Margarita Monday, Open-Mic Night hosted by The Saltwater Cowboy. 5:30pm-8pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Cha Cha - Weekly Lessons. 6:15pm/$5
  
• Hangar 38: Bingo. 6:45pm
  
• Vino Beano: Tipsy Trivia. 7pm
  

• City Dogs Café: City Dogs X S.C.A.M.S. Presents: Free Form Night featuring music from Frogs Dogs and an open improv session. Super Cool Awesome Music Studio (aka SCAMS) will be hosting the first of a series of Free Form Nights at City Dogs Cafe/All Saints Art Station located at 903 Railroad Ave (former All Saints Cafe building) on Monday, April 29th. The event will feature local Tallahassee free jazz band Frogs Dogs followed by an open improv portion. The look of the improv portion will depend on who shows up, but artists of all kinds are encouraged to sign up; mediums may include but are not limited to music, comedy, dance, live painting, performance art, etc. Doors and improv sign up are at 7, Frogs Dogs will play 7:30-8:15PM, and Open Improv will be from 8:30-10PM. Cover is $5 or free if you sign up for improv. There will be local vendors, and City Dogs will be serving cold beer and DELICIOUS hot dogs all night! For more information, contact SCAMS on Instagram @supercoolawesomemusicstudio. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Handsome Heroes: The Show "Not All Heroes Wear Capes, Some Heroes Wear Nothing!". 7pm
  

TUESDAY, 4/30

• Blue Tavern: Happy Hour. 5pm
  
• The Getaway Grille: Tuesday Night Bikes and Trikes. 6pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Company: Tuesday Night Beer-go! 6pm
  
• Crafty Crab: BOOMIN' Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Gamescape: Hobby Night. Slay the grey together! Join your fellow gamers and turn your pile of grey miniatures into a battle ready army. Need some painting tips? Feel free to ask at hobby night. You can bring any miniature for any game to paint. 7pm
  
• Ology Midtown: Jazz Jam Sessions. 7pm
  
• Island Wings: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Brass Tap in Midtown: Trivia. 1st Tuesday of the month is General Knowledge with rotating themes the rest of the month. 7pm
  
• House of Music: Tuesday Trivia & Karaoke. 7pm
  
• American Legion Hall: Tallahassee Swing Band Tuesday Night Dance. 7:30pm
  
• Burrito Boarder: Karaoke with DJ Roldus. 8pm
  
• Fire Bettys: Comedy Night. 8pm
  
• Poor Pauls: Trivia. 8pm/21+
  
• Blue Tavern: Bluesday Tuesday with Bill Ricci. Every Tuesday is Blues Day @ the Blue Tavern and Blues Meets Girl is a Tallahassee favorite. This perfect, intimate venue provides just what you need for both a mid-week break and authentic blues music experience. 8pm/$5
  
• 4th Quarter: Professor Jim's Tuesday Night Trivia. Popular for a reason! 8pm
  
• Argonaut Coffee: Trivia Tuesday. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Karaoke. 8pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Open Mic Comedy Night. 8pm/21+
  
• 926: Tacos and Trivia. 9pm
  

• Blue Tavern: Shape Note Singing with members of the Quaker Meeting House. 5pm

WEDNESDAY, 4/31

• Sugar and Spice Tally: Game Night. Join us every Wednesday Night for community game night. Bring your own or use ours! Let me know if you need to reserve space for a large group. Free to attend! 5pm
  
• Goodwood: Wonderful Wednesday. 6pm/$5
  
• Burrito Boarder: D&D Night. 6pm
  
• Level 8 Rooftop Lounge: Trivia. 6pm
  
• La Florida Coffee & Wine: Trivia Night. 6pm
  
• The Great Games Library: Open Game Night. 6pm/free
  
• American Legion Hall: Sue Boyd Country Western and More Dance Class. Session 2 - Beginner 6:30 to 7:45 pm What: East Coast Swing and Waltz. Cost: $8.00 per person. Wear comfortable shoes you can turn in. 7:45 to 8:15 - Practice dance with paid admission. 8:15 to 9:30: Intermediate - 2 Step and WCS. $8.00 per person or $13.00 for both classes. Vaccines are required. Face masks are optional. Changing partners is optional. 6:30pm
  
• Perry Lynn’s Smokehouse in Quincy: Wed Night Open Mic w/ Steven Ritter and Friends. 6:30pm
  
• Hangar 38: Trivia. 6:45pm
  
• Oyster City Brewing Tallahassee: Trivia. Teams up to 6 players for three rounds with 10 questions and a tie breaker each round. Winners are by round so don’t worry if you need to come late or can’t stay the whole time! Prizes include a round of beer, a 6 pack and a gift card! 7pm
  
• Proof: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Vino Beano: Wine Bingo. 7pm
  
• Fermentation Lounge: Trivia. 7pm
  
• Blue Tavern: Wednesday Open Mic with Doc Russell. The open mic night that has run continuously for almost 20 years, once housed at the Warehouse, lives on at the Blue Tavern. Doc Russell continues as the host with the most. Sign up starts at 7:45pm/free to attend
  
• House of Music: Bar Bingo! Free to Play & Late Night Karaoke. 7pm
  
• Fire Betty’s: Karaoke! 8pm/21+/free
  
• Dukes and Dotties: College Night and Line Dancing Lessons. 8pm
  
• Finnegans Wake: Trivia. 8pm
  
• The Sound Bar: Open Mic Night. 8pm
  
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Title

I’m a student in high school. My friend is in my same grade, let’s call him Alex. Me and Alex met early this year, and we got along pretty good. We were both the ‘weird’ kids, and we kind of bonded over that at first. I share 4 out of my 9 classes with him, and we sit next to each other in all of them. And like, by itself that wouldn’t be so bad, but Alex just. Does not care at all about school. He literally just sits on his phone and scrolls through it, not doing ANY assignments. (Also, not as important but whenever he’s on tiktok his volume is high enough for the whole class to hear, and he doesn’t even wear headphones either.) I genuinely think he has a phone addiction. He’s also incredibly mean, like yeah I get it, kids are jerks, but he just can’t hold himself back. It would be one thing if a kid punches him, if that happened I would be cheering him on and saying pop off king. But that DOESN’T happen. And half the things the kids say don’t even involve him, he’s yelled at people for making skibbiti toilet jokes, going as far as telling them to k*ll themselves. We have a mutual friend who is going to be known as Nathan who’s decently bigger than Alex, but not enough to be called obese. Alex literally bullies him because of his weight CONSISTENTLY. Nathan will bite back, but he’s told me in private that it makes him pretty uncomfortable. It makes me uncomfortable as well, as I also have a good amount of fat on my body. Surprisingly, Alex doesn’t seem to say anything rude about me. There’s a couple other things that he does such as saying slurs (that he can reclaim, yes, but it still makes me feel gross.) but I’ve ranted enough about him so I’ll just get onto the problem.
There’s a month left of school before summer break, and I just can’t deal with him again for a full year. So, do I ghost him over break, tell him directly I don’t want to be friends anymore, or talk with him? (which I’ve tried before, but it has been awhile.) The only reason I stayed for so long in the first place is because Alex’s mental health is really not good, and I’m afraid if I leave he’ll do something stupid. Our relationship is beginning to become more toxic now though, I think he’s starting to notice that I’m getting annoyed more often.

There was this guy at my school, Lets call him Aaron. He was my best friend but we barely texted out of school. We began texting and me and his friend, (Lets call him Nathan)and Aaron were becoming a trio. We all hung out and it was great. I began developing feelings for Aaron. I started flirting with Aaron through sending him videos on tiktok and He sent me cute videos too. I quickly found out that Aaron had liked me back. I reposted a few videos on tiktok that I related to about my mental health, After I found out that he liked me back I immediately lost feelings (well kind of) and interest, I just didnt want to get hurt like what my ex did to me. I had 0 icks for my ex whatsoever and I loved him, but anywho. Aaron sent me 2 paragraphs saying,
“hey beautiful l just wanted to say goodnight and I love you so much, but I gotta say something, you make me happy that you’re in my life, you made me smile from day one. You kept making me blush when we hung out with Nathan. Then when ur beautiful eyes laid eyes on me oh my gosh, you dont understand how fast my heart was beating. I fell in love so fast you made me smile and laugh. you just make me feel special ml and I hope I'll do the same I love you, goodnight.”
He also sent me this after he sent me that text.
“and baby I'm here if u need me or to talk jst call me and I'll answer I'll talk to you until u feel better until you feel comfortable again jst know ml I'm not with you for your body I'm with you because you acc make me happy and smile, youre my kind of woman, just remember that.”
I sent him a text at 4:44 AM talking about my mental health and i said, “If you dont know my own personal problems, Then you shouldnt commit to me.” He ignored that text and the next morning he said, “Goodmorning baby, are you going to school today?” I said “no, why?” He said, “Oh i was gonna give you my hoodie..” In my opinion, he shouldve responded to my text talking about my mental health and reassured me and not ignore my text because thats what made it uncomfortable for me. Anyways, this is where I started to avoid Aaron because I didnt wanna see him or talk to him at all. I didnt wanna embarrass myself and I feel like it would be awkward. I told my close friend Ronica about everything and she told aaron that I was talking bad about him. Ronica told me everything about him, that his close girl-friend often asked him if her “Ass is fat” and he would always look, and more stuff about him and his other girl-friends. I texted him later that day saying,
“Hey, sorry for ignoring you and not talking to you, I promise its not you, Ive had a really bad week this week. Im so so so sorry.”
“Nah”
“Huh?”
“Nah.”
“What??”
“You heard me, nah.”
I was genuinely confused why he kept saying “nah”. I told my friend to ask him about he and he said that I was talking shit. I was never talking shit.
So of course I had to text him about it. this is what I said.
“talking shit?? i was never talking shit hello?? why cant you just communicate with me instead of believing what other ppl have to say. I was never talking shit about you, aaron.”
I confronted him about his girl-friends and he didnt respond, I then told him
“i dont know what we are now, ill still respect you, i just want you to know i wasn't talking any shit but i still don't want you to tell anyone about the things i've told you about myself.”
I was genuinely scared if he would leak the message I told him about myself and my mental health. I blocked him on everything and I miss him so much. I feel like Im the one who messed up because I self sabotaged our friendship AND our feelings for each other.