My (F21) boyfriend (M21) of a few weeks is very insecure and I have a feeling I am making it worse. When I first pursued him he actually accidentally rejected me due to insecurity because he couldn't imagine a woman like me would ever be interested in a man like him (so he thought I was making fun of him). I made it more clear that I really want him and now we're together but I know that he's feeling super insecure. When we kiss he oftentimes opens his eyes after and mutters something like "I can't believe you actually like me" or "I don't know what I've done to deserve you" and a few days ago I found him crying because according to him he doesn't deserve me and I'm apparently to good for him, which I don't get. I wanted him first. Still, I'm scared that this insecurity will destroy our relationship again and it's really not healthy at all so I want to help him get over it. I told him even though I like him no matter what that if he feels like he doesn't deserve me he can try to become a guy who he thinks he deserves me but I don't know if that was too harsh so I might have to try another approach .
From what I've gathered there are 4 main areas of insecurity for him. 1. Our social circles, 2. Our grades, 3. Our looks and 4. The romantic attention we get/our experience.

1. Our social circles: He is a pretty nerdy guy who is introverted to the point where I'm suspecting him to have social anxiety. He especially struggles talking to women. I'm pretty sure he was only able to talk to me since did most of the heavy lifting in terms of our early conversations and never stopped trying to get to know him. He has a small group of close-knit friends who he cares a lot about. They're like brothers which is really cute to me. The problem is that outside of that group of friends he is definitely less than popular, I think because he is socially awkward like that with a pretty peculiar sense of humour, which I like however.

My social life looks very different. I'm just as nerdy as him behind closed doors but since I had a pretty massive glow up people don't expect that from me. I'm fact outwardly I'm definitely someone in the popular crowd and I gotta admit- I got a pretty big social circle with four groups of friends, two of which are really close as well and I'm basically the centre of.
Whenever he and I are walking together and I have to greet someone again (which happens pretty often, especially on campus) he gets annoyed, especially when it's a guy. A little more than half of my group of friends are guys and I already made him aware that that's not gonna change since I've known most of them for years- still, he suspects almost every one of those to be interested in me which can be quite annoying. There have been some who confessed but that was before my boyfriend and I got together and I established clear boundaries with those. That's the first problem caused by insecurities.

1. grades and achievements: He is a smart man, a former gifted kid, It's a part of him that first caused me to be attracted to him, but the problem is- I as well was a gifted kid. We have lived very different lifes up to this point. He had a pretty relaxed upbringing while I spent my time growing up in debate competitions, dance competitions and participating in youth politics since my parents wanted to prime me for success. I think he has just always been the smart kid and at the beginning he was fully convinced that he was way smarter than me because I asked him to explain things to me since I like to hear him explain and he didn't think that someone like me would be able to have intelligent thoughts or something which he admitted was stupid of him and just based on stereotypes. Now that we spend pretty much every second day together he knows that I actually have a better GPA than him and that I'm according to him "more gifted than him" (which partially has to do with me being on the spectrum) he doesn't openly say it but I know it bothers him. As a formerly gifted kid myself I know how much it hurts when someone is better than you when the thing you were growing up was always just the 'smart kid'. He said that he wants to work harder so he can take care of me sometime in the future but knowing him I know that's only half of the story. Just like he started going to the gym more because at the beginning of our relationship I was stronger than him (Years of competitive dance, martial arts and just being a gym girl). He now is stronger than me again but he still talks about how emasculated he felt because of it.
   
2. Our looks: I was told I have pretty privilege and I got to admit myself - after my glow up I definitely felt how different people treat me now and I get quite a lot of attention now to the point where it's uncomfortable, especially since before my glow up I definitely wasn't as conventionally attractive and was also treated as such. I think my boyfriend looks good. He is cute. His lips are pretty and heart shaped and his eyeshape and lashes are to die for. He doesn't see that though. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea. I gathered so much when I told other people that we're dating but he's my cup of tea so that shouldn't matter. Even his friends teased him about his looks in comparison to mine when he told them and when he told me- I swear I was ready to explode. I try to give him compliments about his looks but he doesn't know how to accept them. He says I'm the only one who'll ever compliment him this way anyway so what's the point. My boyfriend says that when he first saw me he thought I was the most beautiful woman he's ever seen which is why he couldn't believe why I would keep on talking to him. I think being with me makes his insecurities about his looks worse because according to him an 'ugly guy' like him doesn't deserve a girl like me. I think that's bullshit. There is way more to a relationship than looks and I think he's cute and way too harsh on his looks.
   
3. Our romantic experience and the attention we get.
   

I am his first. The first girl he kissed, his first date, his first time holding hands, his first in general. He told me that before we met again he had given up on love- concluded that it wasn't happening for him and that after his parents passed on he should just follow them- and then I showed up again and made it obvious how much I wanted him. I feel so honoured to be his first but not getting any attention before me took a real toll on his self perception I think.
I am the exact opposite. Sure I wasn't in a relationship before him, I also was still a virgin and also never kissed anyone willingly but I get attention. I get asked for my number on the streets or in uni, I get asked on dates and I also went on dates before. I just never felt it. Where he feels like he doesn't get seen by women I feel like I only get seen as a piece of meat, as a love interest, a manic pixie dream girl or a sex object by men. I had so many bad experiences with that just being treated like a normal person by him (partially because he thought he didn't have a chance anyway) had me falling head over heels for him.
He feels insecure about the attention I get however, especially if it'd be men he perceives to be good-looking, successful or simply cool. He often mentions that apparently there were several guys in the friend group we met in that wanted to pursue me and he feels bad for them that he's the one who got me because he's just a 'bastard' in his own words. I think this is another one of the things that bothers him the most based on how often he mentions it. Whenever he finds out that a guy we know ever was interested in me I never hear the end of it. I even was asked for my number while he was right next to me and while in a conversation with him which is not only mad disrespectful but also made him really angry and caused his insecurities to skyrocket. I feel really sorry to make him insecure that way but I really can't control it. He also likes when I get really dressed up for dates and I like that too but whenever he sees the stares I get from men he seems to regret it.
All in all he seems to put me on a pedestal and seems to compare himself to not only me but also other men in my life though I don't want them. I only want him. He says it's suspicious how little is wrong with me, that I'm too good but that's not true. I'm possessive (which I'm working on), at least as competitive as him, all of the social skills he admires so much in me I trained myself to have since I'm pretty much lost in social situations. I can be quite clumsy and scatterbrained sometimes and when I get to talk about my special interests I won't stop for hours. I was training for discipline from a young age to the point where I sometimes don't sleep or eat enough to manage to do everything I planned. I am a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree and sometimes I feel like a robot who just has to function no matter what. I tried to show him, tell him all my flaws but no matter what he doesn't see them as flaws.
He for example sees all of the achievements, the medals my perfectionism brought me but not that I lost so much sleep and ate so little for extended periods of time when I was little that I just stopped growing.
I try to show him that I really like him. He is smart, witty, funny and even though he tries to hide it incredibly kind. He takes care of his friends, family and now me. I feel so safe around him and ...just like myself. I try to tell him that. I try to give him gifts, I try to spend as much time as possible with him and take care of him. Whenever he expresses his boundaries I try to comply (for example he dislikes when I show my cleavage when he isn't around so I stopped) but I feel like that's no use as long as that little voice in his head tells him that he's not enough and that he doesn't deserve me.
I just don't know what to do so that he finally sees himself the way I see him- a person who of course has flaws but is beautiful and kind and a person who deserves to be loved and I'm pretty sure I love.
Thank you for any advice. (And sorry for my English. English is actually my fourth language so I'm not as articulate in it as I would like)

Young Luke Is Sitting In The Car With His Mom They're Singing A Song Together
L: So Mom When Exactly Are We Going To Paris
M: In About 2 Weeks
L: Man I'm Sooo Excited I Always Wanted To Go There
M: Yeah I Am Too It's Said To Be The Romanti....
The Car Crashes And Luke Hits His Head And Is Knocked Out
He Wakes Up His Vision Is Really Blurry But He Sees A Truck Pulling Off
L: Wha... What The....Mom Mom Where Are You Mom!!!!
Luke Is Sitting At Home While The Police Is Talking To His Dad
A Day Later He Comes Down Stairs And Sees His Dad Crying
He Walks To His Room With His Friends
O: Hey You Ok
L: No I...I Wanna Find Out Who Did That To My Mom I Saw A Truck Leaving When That Happened
O: So What Do Think It Was
L: I Don't Know Might Have Been A Hit And Run Or Maybe It Was Planned I Don't Know But I'm Gonna Catch Whoever That Was
3 Years Later
L: Ok Bye Dad Love Ya
D: Bye Luk...
Luke Slames The Door
D:...Bye
Luke Runs Too School
Jack Gets Up And Walks Down Stairs And Sees His Mom Cooking And His Dad With A Beer In His Hand Sleep He Walks Outside And Walks To School
Owen Jumps Up And Runs Outside
M: Owe....
Owen Slams The Door And Runs To School
They All Meet Up
L: Yooo Owen What's Up Man
O: Hey Luke What's Up
J: Hey Guys
L: Hey Jack How You Been
J: I've Been Good
L: Hey You Haven't Been In School For 3 Days What Happened
J: Ooo Nothing Just Some Family Stuff
L: Oh Ok.....So My Uncle Said That The Base Is Gonna Be Finished Today So We Can Become Heroes Man
J: Seriously Ok I'm Ready
O: Yeah I'm Gonna Beat Up So Many Villains
They All Walk Into The School
Intro Start's
M: Ok I Know You Guys Must Be Confused Basically Nine Months Ago I Found A Metal Bat In My School And Thought WOW I Could Use This To Fight Crime Like I Always Wanted Too So I Asked My Uncle To Put Some Tech Into This Bat But Then He Offered To Builf Me A Base To Be In He's Rich And So I Asked My Best Friends If They Want In And They Jumped At The Opportunity And Well That's About It
Schools Done
Owen Is In His Boxing Club
Luke Is In The Tech Club
And Jack Goes Home
Later That Day
Luke Comes Home
L: Hey Dad Sorry For Earlier I Was In A Rush
D: That Ok So How Was School
L: Nice I Guess I Was Waiting On Something So I Didn't Really Do Anything In School
D: What Are You Excited For
L: Nothing Really Just Something Small
D: Oh Ok Then
Luke Runs Upstairs
Owen Runs In The Basement
And Jack Goes In His Room
Luke Goes In His Closet And Goes To The Base
They All Come Down At The Same Time
L: Wowww!!!!!
Luke Runs Over To The Suit
L: Woah All This Tech And Is This A Nano Tech Sword
Luke Hugs His Uncle
L: Thanks So Much
U: Your Welcome
U: Hey Owen You Still Practicing That Move I Told You About
O: Of Course
U: Jack You Still Using The Computer I Got You
J: Yep And Thanks For That It's Really Helped Me With My Detective Research
U: And Jack You've Mastered The Art Of.....The Bat
L: Ha Yeah As Much As I Can
U: Alright Then This Is The Official Base For QuantumStrike
They All Smile
U: And I've Got One More Surprise For You Guy's
L: What
U: Look
They Look And See A Truck
LOJ: WOW
They All Go To The Truck
L: Wow This Is Awesome
U: Go Inside
L: Um Ok
The Truck Door Opens
They All Look Shocked
They Walk Inside The At See A Base
L: What The How Is Thi Possible
U: It's A Mix Of Nano Tech Shape Morphing Technology Holographic Projection And Adaptive Exterior Panels
L: I Can't Believe This Is Real!
U: Alright Now Come Out
They All Come Out
U: Ok So It Can Also Be A House Inside For Just Chilling Or Anything Like That
L: What Man Your The Best Uncle Ever Thanks
U: No Problem Now I Gotta Go But Enjoy Guys
He Leaves
They Look At The The Armor's
L: So I Already Mine Is Gonna Be The One With The Bat So What Are You Guys Picking
O: Well I Like Hand To Hand Fighting More So I'ma Go With The That One
J: Already Well That Leaves Me The One With The Sword Which I Like Anyway
L: Ok Then Well We Picked I Wonder If We Will Meet Any Superheroes Out There
J: Hopefully
L: Ok Soo We're Gonna Go And Rest And After School We're Gonna Come Back
J: Alright Then See You Guys Tomorrow
L: Alright Then Bye Guys
O: See You Later
They All Leave
Owen Lays Down
Luke Goes Down Stairs
And Jack Goes To Bed
His Mom Comes In The Room
M: Hey Jack
J: Hey Mom
M: Dinners Ready
J: Ok I'ma Be Done In One Second
M: Ok
The Door Is About To Close
M: And Hey
J: Yeah
M: I Love You
J: I Love You Too
Owen Goes Down Stairs
D: Hey Owen
O: Hey
D: So What Do You Want For Dinner
O: Anything I Guess Doesn't Matter
D: Well..Ok Then Burgers It Is
O: K
His Dad Pauses And Turn's Around
D: Look Owen I Know This Divorce Has Been Hard On You But Please Work With Me A Little
O: Mabye YOU Should Have Worked On Your Relationship
D: HEY LOOK THAT IS NOT FAIR
O: WHAT'S NOT FAIR IS THIS MESS OF A LIFE A IM IN RIGHT NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IM NOT HUNGRY
Owen Get's Up And Storms Out
Jack Goes To The Kitchen And Sees His Dad
J: Hey Dad How Was Work
D: What Do You Think Terrible As Hell
M: Jake He Was Just Trying To Talk To.....
D: Did I Ask You What He Wanted
J: Sorry For Asking Dad
They Sit Down
She Gives Them Their Food
D: What The Hell Is This
M: A Burger Jake
D: I Wanted Steak
M: Well You Never Told Me That Jake
D: I've Been Telling You That For A Week I Work Everyday And I Can't Get Some Damn Steak
M: Jack Go Up Stairs
J: O..Ok
They Start Arguing
He Covers His Ears
J: Damnit!!!
He Goes In His Closet And Goes To The Base
J: Well Guess I'm Here Alone
He Looks At The Car
And Remembers The Inside Could Be A House
He Presses The Button The Inside Starts Transforming
He's About To Go In
U: Hey Jake Is That You
J: Y.. Yeah Sir Sorry I Just Needed Somewhere To Go
U: Oh You Ok
J: Yeah I'm Fine I'm Just Bored
U: You Wanna Train A Bit
J: Um Ok
They Start Training With His Sword
U: Ok Now Do This
He Swings The Sword
U: Now When You Swing A Sword Mostly Use Your Lower Back Torso And Shoulders
J: Ok Then
He Swings The Sword Better This Time
U: Ok Ok Good
J: Ok Thanks Sir
U: Wait One More Thing
J: What
U: Wanna See The Powers It Has
J: Yes!!
Luke Sits Down At The Dinner Table
L: Hey Dad
D: Hey Luke Soo I Made Burgers
L: Oh Thanks Dad
His Dad Sits Down And Gives Luke The Food
They Eat The Food
L: Ok Thanks Dad I'ma Go To Sleep
D: Luke Wait
He Turn's Around
L: Yeah Dad
D: Im Gonna Go See Your Mother Tomorrow And I Would Like It If You Would Finally Come With Me
L: No I'm Ok Dad
D: JAKE
HE Stands There
D: You Have To Go See Her Eventually
L: No I Don't
D: But Why
L: I JUST
He Stands There
L: Bye
He Walks Away
His Dad Looks Down
He Goes Up Stairs
And Cry's
The Next Day
They All Come To School
L: Hey Guys
O: Hey
J: Yeah Hey
They Go Into School
L: Hey Guys What's Up
E: Hey Luke
S: Hey Luke Can You Help
L: Yeah Oh Our Robot What's Wrong
S: He's Glitching When We Try To Make Him Walk
L: Oh That's A Easy Fix
He Fix's The Robot
S: Thanks Luke
L: No Problem
Owen Enters The Ring
O: Alright Who Am Training With
M: Me
O: Oh Mark Hey
T: Ok So Owen What's Your Strategy
O: Swing Fast
T: Ok Owen Swinging Fast Can't Be Your Only Sta..
Owen Swings And Misses
He Gets Punched And Falls
O: Damn
He Punches The Guy Twice And Knocks Him Down
The Guy Gets Up And He Tries To Hit Him Again But Gets Knocked Out The Ring
T: Oh
M: Oh Man I'm Sorry You Ok
O: Yeah Yeah I'm Fine Good Job Man
Jack Is Walking Through The School With His Earphones In And A Guy Pushes Him
He Looks Back
B: Oh Sorry
He Laughs And Walks Away
He Looks Down And Walks Into Class
They Leave School
L: Alright Team Let's Go
J: Hey Luke Can I Go To Your House Instead
L: Um....Ok
J: Thanks
They Go To Luke's House And Goes Upstairs
J: Where's Your Dad
L: Um He Went To See...My Mom
J: Why Didn't You Go
L: No Reason Jack Um You Ready
J: Um.. Yeah
L: Ok
Luke Goes Into The Closet Then Jack Goes
They Enter The Base
L: Hey Owen Where My Uncle
O: I Don't Know
L: Hmm Ok Well Let's Train A Bit
O: Alright
They Get There Weapons
U: Hey Everyone
L: Hey Unk
U: So You Guys Training
L: Yeah
U: Yeah You Guys Seen The News
L: Um No
Owen Turns On The TV
NR: Amazing Lightning Strike Has Defeated Another Dangerous Criminal
They Show Footage Of Him Defeating The Criminal
L: Wow Amazing
J: I Hope I Can Meet Them
O: Me Too
U: Speaking Of Lightning Luke
L: Yeah
U: You Wanna See What That Bat Can Do
L: Yeah Definitely
The Alarm Goes Off
They All Look
L: Well Guy's Looks Like Our First Mission Is Here Let's Go
They Suit Up And Walk To The Truck
L: Alright Let's G....
Luke Falls In The Car
L: Owww What The Who Turned The Inside Into House
J: Who Huh That's My Bad Sorry
L: Oh Why Were...Let's Go
The Truck Drives Into The City
They Get Out The Car And There's People Running
L: I Wonder Who We're Fighting
O: Luke Watch
Luke Get's Punched Into A Wall
L: Owww
Owen Tries To Punch The Villain But He Grabs Owen And Throws Him Into A Wall G my Jack Is The Only Person There
J: Gravity Grip
It Doesn't Work And He Gets Punched Into A Car
Him And Luke Tries To Hit Him Again But They Get Grabbed
They Try To Get Away But He's Not Letting Go
Owen Punches Him In The Stomach With A Giant Hand And He Hits Into The Bank
L: Nice Job
O: Thanks
J: So He Definitely Has Super Strength
L: Yeah.... Alright I'ma Take The Lead
He Walks Up To Him
The Villain Get's Up And They Both Stand There hu

 THE END 

The confusing part is that most gods are also technically divine spirits. Then there is that one human in the faction to further complicate things. Sanae, who's also basically a god in a human vessel. That's kinda what happens when a human receives faith and all. BEst way to explain her to not get confused.
But yeah, I found a proper balance of calling gods characters mostly the ones in youkai mountain, bunch in every realm and all as 'gods' while the floating spirits which Reimu can summon as divine spirits. Easy enough since one category takes form while the others are floating around.
Junko came and messed that up for me. She's amongst the other girls as it is. Less ghostly than Yuyuko a d is called a divine spirit. I'm sure this isn't a canon's misconception so there's gotta be something extra about her.
My head a on about this is based on how ex-humam gods become gods. Kanako kinda died as an extremely virtuous human and was brought back as a goddess. While other gods like suwako and arguably all other gods in youkai mountain are entities of pure faith. Or at least that's how they came to take shape. So perhaps Junko, once human, received faith. Became a living god like sanae. Only difference being she got generous amounts of faith so her god aspect was not faint in any way. In the midst of it she got killed somehow, and then when a living god "dies" as to say loses the flesh and blood the once a human soul which turned into a divine spirit just floated out.
And considering their nature, divine spirits aren't really fit for judgement. Perhaps the grudge towards Cheng'e goes back to when Junko became a divine spirit. With a grudge which would also make her a vengeful spirit. Buuut... Again no one is qualified to judge divine spirits so a grudge or not, that won't make Junko a vengeful spirit. It just entailed she had no intention to venture to heaven before settling the score with Cheng'e.
What're your thoughts on the matter?

For many it could be an emotional manga that just drains them after but for me it's series that have a huge cast of supporting characters where every panel on every page has to have at least 4-5 of them giving their input in a dialogue. It's not even "relevant" dialogue but them making a joke or giving their input on a joke. Think series like Negima or GTO.
It's not that the dialogue burns me out, because I can read Bakuman or Death Note just fine, it's that the dialogue comes from so many inputs (supporting cast) and are largely irrelevant. These series also have very detailed backgrounds so combine that with all the text bubbles popping up everywhere, it's a ton of input on a single page. I start to just skim through it all because I don't need to know how class member #14, 23, 31, and 36 react to Negi's shirt coming off, only for the next panel to have another 5 one-dimensional characters give their input. I finish a chapter from these series feeling like I finished 5 on another.

South Africa is a mess. Literally and figuratively. People are suffering and languishing in poverty while we are a country with massive amounts of natural resources and we collect large sums of money in tax. In terms of developing countries this should be easy mode, but it's not. Like every developing country there are problems. Corruption and incompetence are the biggest of these. By eliminating only these two problems South Africa can do exceptionally well.
Corruption is the biggest problem. The DA has shown that they don't tolerate corruption in their ranks. As an example, when the former mayor of Tswhane, Randall Williams was suspected of malfeasance, he resigned. He wasn't redeployed, he didn't step aside. None of that. Similarly when Patricia De Lille was suspected of malfeasance she was removed, quite abruptly too. In both of these cases it could be that legal processes could have eventually exonerated them, but it's common in developed nations for politicians who are suspected of malfeasance to be rapidly removed or for them to resign. Why? It's because it doesn't matter whether someone accused of robbing your house is innocent or not, you still need to take away the keys. Even more so when the house is not yours. Public property belongs to the public. The debate in South Africa about whether people with pending corruption charges on the NPA desks should be kept in their positions is one that is frightening. In many countries politicians resign because of sex scandals. Imagine that. We had a president that was accused of rape, but remained our president. Imagine how other heads of state viewed him when he was meeting with them. Surely that is a reflection on us as a society. The zero tolerance approach is very harsh, maybe even unfair, but it keeps the public safe.
Incompetence is the second issue, and this one is a big one. Incompetent people often end up being corrupt as well. If you sit in an office and don't know what to do, then idle hands are the devil's plaything. Here you are sitting with the infinite money glitch that is tax being thrown at you, but you have to read a report on sewerage maintenance which you don't understand. How are you supposed to protect people from corruption if you are incompetent? Nobody knows. There has been a lot of bluster around qualifications, but being in a technical industry I can tell you that qualifications and competence are not mutually guaranteed. The best way to evaluate competence is by seeing results. I will use one example to illustrate. Flooding and fires are a common occurence in the Western Cape, and the disaster response teams demonstrate competence and ability from the top to the bottom. Emergencies don't become catastrophes insofar as ability allows. Everyone knows when and where to do what. That illustrates an understanding of purpose which comes from strong leadership all the way down to adequately trained and drilled people on the ground. The most heartening thing about competence is seeing how proud people are of the good work they do, especially the people at the coalface. Pride in a public service job. Imagine that. The competence spans widely, from managing healthcare facilities and schools to pipes, substations and roads. Competence allows progress even under difficult situations. It's not excuses, but reasons and plans. It's not pie in the sky, but a direction toward a horizon, even if there is no map or endpoint.
Does that mean the Western Cape is all unicorns and rainbows (we do have those festivals)? Absolutely not. South Africa has difficult problems to solve, and unfortunately mistakes are bound to happen. Hard problems mean more mistakes. If you are interested in whether someone is competent or not, look at how effective they are at adapting and solving problems, not at every mistake they make. Once again being in a technical field, I can promise that experts make more mistakes than you will ever be aware of. The reason you don't notice all that much is because of all the retrospection, introspection, adjustment and mitigation that takes place behind the scenes. The sad thing about technical expertise is that when you get things right, everyone just expects that, and if you make a mistake you never hear the end of it. But the joy in expertise is watching your machine work, while everyone is none the wiser of its intracies.
In both cases above it is not impossible for other parties to achieve this or even do better, but without some evidence to look at, it's all just words. As much as I would like to see other parties flourish, I simply can't see the state that we are in giving us a chance to gamble with untested leadership.

Started training with a trainer to get good basic levels of strength (sit up, push up, air squat) pre meno (was skinny and weak TBH) and now it’s been 3 years and I’m post meno about 2 of those years. Anywho, pretty shocked at the numbers I’m seeing on the scale. Most trainers seem to say you’ll never train hard enough to get bulky but guess what - I’m here to say I’m bulky as heck and while I’m strong now and protected from falls with lots of muscle or whatever, dang I’m like bordering plus sized territory. It does make me wonder how it would have done down with this weight training had I not been in meno.
Also, I went on 1mg and 100 progest. (Pharma, not bioidentical). Just venting and like so many of us on here kinda shocked at the scale and working on self image.

Oh, Austen Cosmos: A Gripping Tale for Reddit Feedback

Logline: A web of deceit unravels for London billionaire Austen Cosmos when his secret life - a gay affair with his butler, a philandering mistress, and a dark drug empire - is exposed, leading to a desperate fight for survival and a deadly game of revenge.
Characters:

• Austen Cosmos: A charming yet ruthless billionaire with a facade of respectability. He leads a double life filled with forbidden desires and criminal activity.
• Edward: Austen's handsome and discreet butler, harboring a secret love for his employer.
• Anna: Austen's fiery mistress, wronged and seeking revenge.
• Victoria: Austen's seemingly naive wife, harboring a keen mind and a growing suspicion.
• Ophelia: Austen's overweight cousin, the target of his twisted obsession.

Plot Points:

• Hidden Desires: The story unfolds with hints of Austen's secret affair with Edward, his infidelity with Anna, and his unsettling fixation on Ophelia.
• Mounting Clues: Anna stumbles upon incriminating evidence, piecing together Austen's web of lies. Victoria's suspicions simmer as she notices Austen's string of "close male friends."
• The Anonymous Letter: Anna, fueled by betrayal, anonymously exposes Austen's secret life to his unsuspecting wife.
• The Unveiling: Victoria confronts Austen, revealing her own knowledge of his numerous affairs. The FBI connection to his drug cartel dealings comes to light, adding another layer of complexity.
• The Revenge Plot: Austen, desperate to maintain control, becomes fixated on finding the anonymous letter's sender. When he discovers it's Anna, his rage consumes him.
• A Desperate Fight: The story can take a thrilling turn as Austen seeks revenge against Anna. Does he succeed? Does Victoria choose loyalty or justice? Does Edward get caught in the crossfire?

Reddit Feedback Prompts:

• Character Development: How can we make these characters more complex and relatable?
• Genre Exploration: Should this be a dark comedy, a suspenseful thriller, or a social commentary?
• Plot Twists: What unexpected turns could keep the audience guessing?
• Ending Possibilities: How should the story culminate? Should there be a sense of justice, or should the web of deceit leave everyone entangled?

Additional Ideas:

• Explore the psychological reasons behind Austen's unconventional desires and criminal activities.
• Delve into the power dynamics between Austen and the women in his life.
• Introduce moral dilemmas for Edward, caught between love and loyalty.
• Consider incorporating humor to balance the dark themes.

Hello! I'm in the process of writing a story with characters that deals with gender-nonconformity as a women. I identify as a gnc women myself, but I need insights from other gnc women and it'd be lovely if you guys can share your experience and opinion so I can write her complicated relationship with gender expression while being nuanced.
From my experience, I was praised as the pretty girl growing up. My mom will dress me very femininely, and quite disturbingly now that I think about it, I got a lot of attention from my "beauty". At some point, as I got older, I find myself straying away from femininity, going through the "I'm not like other girls" phase because I genuinely have difficulty connecting to other girls and what society think girls should act like. At highschool I realized I'm just queer. Nowdays I keep my hair short and dress with comfort in mind first with androgynous or masculine leaning clothes.
This character that I'm writing has some pararels to myself in that they're conventionally attractive but have distanced herself from femininity because of similar circumstances and trauma. But I don't want it to be the common trope that a tomboy or gnc girl is just gnc because of their trauma and suddenly they got "fixed" when they become feminine again. I'm sure a sizable amount of girls relate to that but I don't want it for my story. And I want her being gnc doesn't makes her any less of a woman. Like how masc and gnc women aren't supposed to be men-lite. At the end, I want her to finally connect with her womanhood and discover healthy woman friendship and be comfortable with femininity on her own terms while still being comfortable being gnc.
Do you guys relate to this? I'd be so happy if any gnc/masc woman can share their insights and experiences.

Hey guys, so I’m curious to see if you guys think Shameless is a realistic portrayal of a poor family. Personally, I grew up just as poor as the Gallagher kids with an alcoholic father just like Frank, and I think that some parts of the show are very realistic, but other parts are way too Hollywood. For example, how tf do they all have SO many clothes? Like seriously, they wear different outfits every single day, only occasionally wearing the same jacket or the same shirt in different episodes. Not to mention that Fiona’s outfits are super expensive in real life, I really loved the purple dress she wore in the pilot and I found the exact same one online, but it was 1200 dollars 💀 Like I wish the costume directors just went to Target or something and bought a bunch of clothes in order to make the characters’ outfits more realistic instead of buying designer dresses for a character that’s supposed to be living off of food stamps in the south side of Chicago. Another thing is the amount of food they have, which they constantly waste, and same with the cigarettes that they’ll just take two hits off of and then put them out. Like I swear in every episode they have a big ass bucket of KFC that still is half-full when they toss it in the trash. This show does remind me of how I grew up as a kid more than any other show I’ve watched despite a lot of its inconsistencies, but I’m curious to see what you guys have to say.

I had gotten hired at this job and was fired out of left field 3 months in for "performance". I had a 30-day review and a 60-day review as well as bi-weekly check ins, and never once did my boss express any concern about my performance. She kept telling me things were going great, then I went in for my 90-day review, and she fired me. When I asked for more information as to why, she insinuated that I had no critical thinking skills. But then offered to give me a good reference lol? (does that even make sense)
It was horrible. I've never been fired before, and what she said really hurt. I cried and left. They had 0 training for this role, she would just tell me to do things, but never explain how/why and she worked from home 99% of the time. She would yell at me and have a horrible attitude any time I had any questions. She was terrible to work with. They hired me and another person on the same day, and they and I had barely any work to do. I had wondered if that was the real reason they let me go.
Anyways - 1 week after firing me, I was she viewed my LinkedIn profile. I decided to remove her, she gives me anxiety, and she 'likes' SO much stuff, I was constantly seeing her name and it was a constant reminder of being fired, which was a humiliating and shameful experience for me. Well now, a week later, she viewed my profile again last night and tried reconnecting. Why?!?? Just leave people alone, especially if you've fired them with 0 warning or opportunity to change and do better. I don't owe you anything and am allowed to keep boundaries that feel healthy for me!

Alright, so… I (18F) kinda made this reddit account just to get some feedback about this situation, since I’m too ashamed to ask my parents. The girl in question is 16, and is probably one of the most annoying people I’ve ever met…
(TLDR: This girl I was pretending to be friends with in High School obsessively fantasized about murdering someone for an entire semester, is overbearing as a person, interrogates people on a daily basis and is nosy, injects herself into drama that isn’t her own, throws temper tantrums when she doesn’t get her way, constantly touches people and makes unwarranted comments about girl’s bodies, asked me to draw CP for her, and MADE FUN OF HER SUICIDAL BROTHER. And I wrote a hate-letter telling her that all of this stuff is a problem, but now I feel bad about it because I think she might actually have mental issues. It’s a really wild ride and a long story, so if you choose to read it, you should expect to be here for a while. And it’s High School drama, so I’ll try to discard the boring details.)
At the beginning of this year, I ended up in a small Sports Medicine class with literally 8 students total in it. That made things quiet, which gave us some room to start talking and getting to know each other after the teacher was done with the lesson and we had our small hands-on tests and assignments out of the way. (The classes took about 20 minutes every day. Really quick and easy. Laid back. It met curriculum requirements actually, because there wasn’t constant bullshit from other students making the lesson longer.). There’s this girl, who… I’ll call her Storm. You’ll find out why. Storm quickly became the most annoying person in the class. Any time she talked, she didn’t have anything interesting to say, but just kept going on and on and on endlessly. It was annoying, but we just kinda played along to be nice. Well… Around a month into school, Storme started opening up and became comfortable talking about personal topics. She told us this story about how one of her other friends (I’ll call her Katie) “betrayed” her the previous year, and then went on to talk about how much she hated Katie and didn’t care if she lived or died. (Honestly, Katie’s offense was miniscule. At most, she replaced Storm with someone else as her best friend. You know… Regular High School drama that wasn’t that deep. I honestly forgot all of what Katie did because it was just so miniscule.) Then Storme started saying ludicrous stuff like “I hope she falls into a volcano”, or “I hope she gets eaten by sharks falling from the sky. Like Sharknado.”. But like… She kept saying it constantly, out loud in class. She ranted about how she wanted Katie to get kidnapped by the Mafia, be flown up to the moon, and be dropped into a black hole to become “Katie-spaghetti”. It was honestly really funny at first, so me and a few other people in the class joined in a little bit and added our own stupid, childlike scenarios. (Katie has a reputation for being… A slut. That’s why it was funny at first.) But then after this schtick got old, Storm just kept going and going and going… She ranted about Katie until it physically hurt to hear her talk anymore. She was back to being annoying and boring again, but it was worse this time because it was obvious that she was trying to re-kindle our intrigue without realizing that she should move on to something else. Instead of assessing herself, she just kept yapping until everyone rolled their eyes every time she opened her mouth, because we knew she would just keep going on and on about all of the stupid ways she wanted Katie to die. Even the damn teacher told her to stop doing that, but she never listened and the teacher eventually just gave up telling her off (And honestly, I think the teacher started zoning her out.). Katie then gradually started to get more morbid with the things she was saying, to the point where I genuinely considered calling the cops and getting this girl some grippy socks. She talked until she became red-faced, started tweaking, and laughed in a neurotic, nervous angry way while she started wringing out her trembling hands. She genuinely looked and sounded unhinged, and what didn’t help was that she started saying stuff like “There aren’t metal detectors in this school, right?”, and “I wish I wasn’t such a good person, because if I wasn’t, I’d be acting on my impulse to cave her skull in the next time I see her. One of these days I’m going to snap and then just do it..” …Yeah, so I was genuinely considering getting the police involved in this because of those two sentences. Thankfully Katie is safe and sound to this day and Storm never acted on these “impulses”. I’m so glad it worked out that I didn’t have to call the cops, but I was seriously worried for a minute… One of my other friends in that class, (I’ll call him Mark), eventually kinda snapped and called her out for being the annoying piece of crap she is. Quickly, Storm and Mark started getting into arguments just about every day and started throwing things like wads of wrapping-tape at each other, and I was becoming worried that they were going to start actually full-on fighting. It doesn’t sound logical in hindsight, but I ended up taking it upon myself to step in and start acting friendly toward her and listening to her (or pretending to listen to her) just to draw her attention away from him. Pretty soon she started talking mostly to me, and this was intentionally done on my part so that the other people in the class could relax a little bit and start doing whatever on their phones and zone her out instead of having to pretend to listen in agony. Ultimately, it was an exchange that benefited everyone, because after Storme got that angry energy out of her, she shut up for the day. She continued to talk about Katie, but mostly to me. She talked about this topic endlessly, her words getting increasingly violent until Christmas break. Yeah… 5 months. She ranted about the ways she wanted Katie to die for 5 whole months. Months. But then when she was done ranting, she finally shut up. …Oh God, the silence sounded like angels singing. I didn’t even really retain any of the information she spewed onto me, but holy crap, when it was over it was like heaven on Earth. So that’s what I did – I acted like the “lightning rod” for this Storm of a person until it passed (kinda). She wrote a note to Katie explaining “You hurt me really badly, but I’m a Christian so I forgive you and I hope you the best”... As if she didn’t rant about her for 5 months straight. Make it make sense. But enough about that. Here’s where my fuck ups began. I gave Storm my number and we quickly started saying that we were friends, though I didn’t actually like her at all and just wanted to keep the peace. We had a few things in common, but I still didn’t like her whatsoever. She continued to rant to me nonstop about Katie, even over text, and I was burnt out listening after a while. So… To dampen the impact of this girl’s obsessive ramblings, I started sending her pictures of my drawings. (I’m an artist). I had characters that I liked to draw that are ocs of an anime fandom (all of which are underage), and she seemed to calm down a bit and hyper-focus on them. She even has a folder in her phone’s gallery completely dedicated to storing my artwork. That’s great and all, but… One day, the topic of Wattpad came up in one of our conversations. I, myself, was one of those cringy Wattpad 12 year olds who made the most illiterate fanfictions ever to be conceived by a human being (They’ve long since been deleted. Thank God, those were awful.) Then… The topic of “Wattpad smut” came up, because I admitted that I used to read those because of the awful grammar and I thought it was funny. I still do sometimes, actually. The way people on Wattpad can’t write to save their lives is just hilarious. Like the stupid “Shrek x Donald Trump” ones are the ones that make me wheeze. I don’t take them seriously, and I love it when the author doesn’t take it seriously either. It’s hilarious. …But then this asshole said: “I don’t like to read bad grammar, it makes me mad. But I do like to read that type of content… For a different reason”. So uhh… That’s… Weird. But then she asked: “Have you found any… Good ones? Do you have any recommendations? Asking for a friend.” …FUCK NO. No thank you. Nope, I’m done. No jerkoff material for you, ma’am. Nope. You’re done. Seriously, I put down my phone for a little bit and went outside to go stare at some birds at the bird feeder until my sickness went away. I fell nauseous because of that (though in hindsight, that seems like an overreaction). When I came back, I didn’t answer that question and kinda skated past it, and that seemed to be the end of it. …But there is NEVER an end with Storm. She DID forget about the resolution to that conversation, but since we talked about smut to begin with, she started asking me some questions about my art. She asked if I had ever drawn p0rn in my life. Of course, I didn’t really admit to anything. I skated past it too, but then she said: “I think (character 1) and (character 2) are really cute together… Like… Really, really cute together.”. That’s great, she likes my characters… Cool, cool. And then my worst nightmare: “Have you ever drawn p0rn of them?” …Of course I didn’t, because that would be CP… Plus I’ve never thought of those characters as being “sexual”... They’re literally 14 and 15 years old. Then basically, she made an indirect “suggestion” for me to draw them together. I said fuck no. Hell fucking no. She tried to convince me to draw them “aged up”, but again I refused. She eventually dropped it, but since then, she passively talked about things of that nature… Like if she saw a guy she thought was cute, she’d tell me she thought he’s cute or hot or gorgeous or whatever and allude to -other- awkward desires that I didn’t want to know about. She put me off from drawing those characters ever again. I haven’t drawn them since and I don’t take my sketchbook to school anymore because I don’t want her to see my drawings and be reminded of that BS.
But enough about that… Storm is a church-going girl, and so she has a few church-going friends. (This also makes everything I’ve said before all the more ironic.). One day when I was transitioning from my 5th to 6th period, I saw her talking angrily to one of her church friends (I’ll call her Isabelle) outside the school building. Storm was accusing Isabelle of lying about smoking weed/vaping and drinking, and she seemed to be so interested in it that you’d think it had an impact on her personally. Isabelle denied doing that, and they eventually parted ways to go to class. I walked with Storm to 6th period (the Sports Medicine period), and I asked her why she was so damn interested in Isabelle’s habits. Know what she said? Storm said “I just don’t like liars.”... So let me get this straight: She thought she had the right to interrogate someone half to death because she just “doesn’t like liars”? Make that make sense. I’ve heard many stories about how Storm interrogates other people, too. If she sees a guy/girl’s name pop up on the screen of someone she knows, she’ll pester them until they give her one of two answers: either “I’ll tell you later”, or the actual answer. She’s done that to me too, in front of everyone in class. The thing that upsets me about this is that she claims to be “nosy”, but thinks it’s a positive attribute rather than an annoying one. She brags about being “nosy” sometimes.
And the sexual assault… Since we were in a sports medicine class, our projects involved a lot of hands-on things. That didn’t bother me by itself, but with Storm, it was a nightmare. This girl, in the process of strapping an ice bag to my thigh, called my thighs “small”, and said that I have a “beautiful body”. We also did shoulder stretching stuff the next week, and I happened to fall under her care while she stared into my eyes and made weird faces at me, all the while she made sound effects and made the process much more uncomfortable than it needed to be. One week, we ended up as partners again and she ended up wrapping my shoulder. This shoulder-wrap wasn’t an issue for me, but having her as a partner made it an issue. As expected, she made sound effects, but this time she stated the obvious as if it was new information that nobody would have ever suspected: “Wow, this is squishing your boobies huh?”... Emphasis on the word “boobies”. Jesus Fucking Christ, it was already awkward as hell before she even brought that up, why would she say something like that?? I didn’t even realize that until she brought it up. In fear of being subjected to her uncomfortable BS again and feeling violated, I texted her and told her that she’s been making me feel uncomfortable, and to please stop being so…. Weird. I get it’s an awkward thing to wrap up your classmate’s thigh, but that’s a moment to keep comments to yourself. Her response? “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY I’M SORRY-” Just… Stop it. I didn’t introduce the topic as a big deal and told her not to worry about it, but she kept apologizing for it nonstop. Just endlessly, like everything else. Even when I tried to change the subject to something else, she just kept apologizing for it practically until she went to bed. (She has a bedtime at 9:30… At 16 years old.) All of this stuff contributed to my overall hatred toward her. I don’t like her at all, and it’s a wonder I didn’t explode and insult her entire personality and deplorable behavior to her face (Meg Griffin style). Things are just so awkward and awful whenever she opens her mouth, and it just doesn't ever stop. But because of all of this, when it came time for my Senior prom, I decided to secretly invite one of my friends from that class as a plus one, and NOT Storm. I was worried that if I told her that to her face, I would all of a sudden be the new “Katie” in her conversations, because the infraction Katie did was so miniscule that it seemed to be less like a “betrayal” than what I did. (In hindsight, it was probably the other way around.) So… I just kept the whole thing to myself and so did the friend I took to prom (I’ll call her Beyonce. Because… She loves Beyonce.).

If this wasn’t bad enough, strap in because not even three weeks ago, Beyonce was doing her usual schtick of making fun of random things. She once made fun of cool whip and the entire state of Texas at the same time and somehow made it make perfect sense. She should really have a comedy show, I swear. But this time, Beyonce was making fun of the name “Gage”, saying “Why would anyone name their kid after a 12-gage shotgun?” and “People named Gage seem untrustworthy. I wouldn’t want to be near one in a zombie apocalypse, because he’d just feed me to those fuckers.”. Funny stuff. Storm then said “My brother’s name is Gage”, and in order to preserve the flow of the conversation (and also to tick her off a little, I’m ngl), Beyonce asked her: “Is your brother untrustworthy?” And then without a single millisecond wasted, she said, in a Disney Channel comedy fashion: “Welll… We can’t trust him with his own life, sooo…”.. And then she laughed as if it was funny. Like.. Rib-stitches type of laughing. ….So then the others (understandably) went quiet, which left only me and her talking for a moment after her laughter quieted down. She complained about how confused she is that nobody finds her joke funny, and said that her joke had the “perfect timing and everything”... So then my idiot ass decided to say what I was thinking at that moment: “You don’t seem to be taking it seriously. That’s your brother, but you don’t sound sympathetic at all.” She tried to “defend” herself, but Mark interjected into the conversation and changed the course of it entirely, which just left her to sit there in silence, pouting. I felt bad for that statement, so I apologized for it over text when I got home from school. Quickly, we erupted into an argument, (with me holding back), and she ended up saying “What does it matter to you? He’s not your brother. If Beyonce said that about her brother, you’d laugh. But when I do, it’s bad.”. Beyonce’s brother is 8 years old…. So no, that would be even worse. …So then I had to explain to her how human decency works, and how making fun of your s*icidal siblings isn’t funny whatsoever and how that joke could be considered to be in very poor taste, even for people who like dark humor. When me, Beyonce or Mark made “suicide” jokes, it was about OURSELVES and it was usually in a statement like “I don’t want to take a test next period, I’m gonna kms.”... …Storm ended up getting so mad that we weren’t having a conversation anymore; we were just throwing shit around. I told her that if she was being livestreamed at that moment, she’d be bashed on the whole internet for a week or so and be called “evil” for that joke. In hindsight I shouldn’t have said that, but my goal was just to tell her how insensitive others might perceive her comment to be. She said that it wasn’t my business to tell her how to feel about her own brother, but I wasn’t doing that at all, that wasn’t my angle whatsoever – I was just explaining what people find funny. I even said repeatedly that I wasn’t trying to tell her how to feel, and that I know comedy can help lighten situations, but somehow she forgot about that part. And then she went on this whole thing about ending every massive text block with “Not that it’s YOUR business, or anything” to snap at me, despite me being in the room at the time of the joke... So I ended the conversation right then and there because it was pointless to keep going and I really didn’t want to spend any more energy on her. The next day, I apologized to her again. I retracted my statements and told her that I was sorry for talking out of line. She accepted the apology, and things went back to “normal”. She forgot about it, but I didn’t. …So here are the reasons why I feel bad, before I delve into the contents of the “hate letter” I wrote to her. Here’s a list of my crimes: 

I pretended to be her friend for an entire school year. - I hid the fact that I was going to prom with Beyonce from her, and then lied to her face repeatedly whenever she asked if I went to prom or not. - I got into business that wasn’t my own and criticized her. - I wrote a hate-letter to her that I directed her to read at home on the last day of school.
…Here’s why I feel bad: Storm doesn’t seem to be emotionally intelligent and is unable to control her mouth whenever she feels strong emotions. She talks nonstop about her second cousin’s friend’s pet hamster’s wife’s sister’s drama, hoping we’ll find something funny or interesting or impressive, while seeming unable to understand that she needs to change her tune. All she wants is to be listened to and understood, but nobody can and nobody truly wants to. She feigns confidence and goes overboard with compliments in the hopes of catching the attention of people who want to be friends with her. She’s not used to change and is very naive, to the point where (just yesterday) she quit her job at a fast food restaurant after only the first day of working there. For the longest time she didn’t have access to the internet, so she doesn’t really have a means to connect with other people through sharing videos or memes or whatever. …I feel like a bad person because I knowingly, intentionally played into all of this just for the pathetic reason of making her shut up in class. It’s despicable what I did, and I’m beating myself up for it every day. I was just originally going to leave the school, block her and never talk to her ever again in my life, but when she made that joke about her brother, I decided (stupidly) to take it upon myself to be the bearer of bad news. I gave her a letter. Within the “hate letter”, it isn’t actually hate, per se. It’s more like… A report on the behavior she needs to fix, as well as an admission to my lies over the course of this whole year. I told her the awful truth. I told her about everything I mentioned in this post and tried to keep it “professional”, though I did end up going as far as to say “you have all of the attributes of an obnoxious piece of stale bread”........... And what’s worse is… I told her to read it on the last day of school, and my reasoning is pathetic at best. I told her to read it on the last day of school because I didn’t want her to burden the class with her nonstop ranting about me, since she, Mark and Beyonce are sophomores and I’m the only senior in the “friend group”, which means that I left the school an entire week earlier than them. I’ve been intentionally delaying her pain and still talking to her over text acting like things are “normal” so that she doesn’t read it early, knowing damn well that on that last day of school, my words are going to hurt her so badly that she might not be able to recover for a while. In the letter, I told her that by the time she reads it, I would have already blocked her because I don’t want any more conversation with her due to me feeling so bad and having nothing more to say. If the plan goes right, she’ll read it on May 23rd, and on that day I will block her.

I feel awful for all of this. I feel like a monster for this. It’s painful knowing that I’m going to cause her pain and that I planned when it’s going to happen, but at the same time I feel like she deserves it. But at the same time, I know damn well that it wasn’t my place to do that. I should have left everything alone. Nobody I can talk to irl would even hear me out; they’d just stop at the words “hate letter”, which means my only option is to seek advice from people on Reddit. Do my motives for doing things make sense? Am I actually a bad person for this? Am I the asshole? Does she deserve what she’s getting? 

Edit 1: I removed some asterisks (they're annoying).

DAY: MAY 20 2024
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. What is the main focus of your thesis? Relapse following initial treatment efficacy remains a major clinical challenge for many cancers. The focus of my thesis has been to explore the therapeutic impact of immune cells in patients with blood cancer (leukemia), by first investigating which cells
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Participating in a three-week car-free challenge has enhanced the health and well-being of Oxford residents, according to research conducted by The University of Bath’s Centre for Climate Change and Social Transformations (CAST), in partnership with climate charity Possible and Low Carbon Oxford North (LCON), conducted this research project. After ditching their cars for three weeks, 10 out of the 12 drivers across Oxford who participated said they plan to continue with reduced car use beyond the project. The findings of this research project show that: Day-to-day transport emissions were slashed
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A certain biological pathway—a set of linked reactions in the body—drives the inflammation seen in the skin disease psoriasis, a new study finds. The work could lead to improved therapies for all inflammatory skin diseases, including atopic and allergic dermatitis and a type of boil called hidradenitis suppurativa, say the study authors. The findings are published in the journal Immunity. Inflammation is the body’s natural response to irritation and infection, but when out of control, it can lead to the reddish, flaky, itchy lesions that
5-20-2024 Prescription co-payments linked to more hospital admissions in New Zealand, study finds
A new study from researchers cautions that bringing back the $5 co-payment for prescription medicines could see a jump in hospital admissions. The study analyzed health data for 71,502 people and found those who didn’t pick up a prescription because they couldn’t afford the $5 fee had a 34% higher rate of being admitted to hospital.
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As the saying goes “There is no such thing as normal” and this has been especially true after the pandemic. Before the emergence of the omicron COVID-19 variant, countries like the U.K. had high vaccination coverage along with widespread exposure to COVID-19 in the population. This combination of vaccine and infection-derived immunity is termed hybrid immunity and is different to vaccine immunity or infection immunity alone. In contrast, other countries, including Australia, New Zealand and those in the Western Pacific, had a very different pandemic experience.
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A study has found that while some medical conditions appear to increase our likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, others appear to decrease the odds. The study, led by Dr. Yijun (Nicholas) Pan and Dr. Liang Jin, analyzed data from 2,443 older Australians living in Melbourne or Perth who are part of the Australian Imaging, Biomarker and Lifestyle (AIBL) study, an internationally recognized cohort for dementia research. “We found anxiety and other neurological disorders are associated with increased likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Pan said.
5-20-2024 Prepping autistic or sound-sensitive kids for cicada noise
As Chicagoans await the emergence of the cicadas, parents of children on the autism spectrum and/or who have sensitivities to sound can take a few steps to prepare for what is expected to be a loud summer. “Some children on the spectrum can struggle with loud or unexpected noises, such as toilets that automatically flush, fireworks around the Fourth of July or the emergence of a large number of cicadas,”
5-20-2024 Study highlights importance of screening for rare inherited iron metabolism defects
Over 40% of cases curated based on stringent clinical and laboratory criteria from the Indian subcontinent have an inherited iron metabolism defect on comprehensive genomic evaluation, report investigators in The Journal of Molecular Diagnostics. Although iron deficiency anemia is the most prevalent form of anemia globally,
5-20-2024 Study finds tyrosine kinase Csk promotes germinal center B cell survival and affinity maturation
The authors found that Csk (a tyrosine kinase that attenuates B cell receptor signaling) is required for germinal center maintenance and efficient antibody maturation. The immune system strikes a fine balance by identifying and neutralizing disease-causing agents while carefully avoiding destruction of healthy tissues and cells. Now, researchers from Japan have shed new light on one of the processes that helps train immune cells to act only against genuine threats.
5-20-2024 Significant gaps between science of obesity and the care patients receive, say experts
As research continues to produce evidence about the underlying causes of obesity and optimal strategies to treat and manage obesity have evolved, there are disparities in application of the latest scientific advances in the clinical care that people with obesity receive. Widespread adoption of current findings, consistency of care and expertise in obesity care varies by health care professional and institution.
5-20-2024 Improving online depression treatment
Symptom course of depression for individuals who dropped out of treatment and those who completed treatment. In the dropout group, there is an initial decrease in symptoms while the patients were still in treatment, which tapers off as they drop out. For completers, there is close to a linear change over time. This suggests there is a relation between the more that an individual continues to participate in ICBT and their depressive symptom improvement.
5-20-2024 Women face worse chronic kidney disease management in primary care
Women receive worse primary care-based chronic kidney disease (CKD) management than men, according to a research letter adult patients with CKD receiving primary care at 15 practices using electronic health record data to examine sex disparities in guideline-based CKD management
5-20-2024 Bisoprolol does not reduce exacerbations in at-risk COPD patients
For patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), bisoprolol does not reduce the number of self-reported exacerbations treated with oral corticosteroids, antibiotics, or both, according to a study
5-20-2024 Anticancer potential of CLK kinase inhibitors 1C8 and GPS167 via EMT and antiviral immune response
The diheteroarylamide-based compound 1C8 and the aminothiazole carboxamide-related compound GPS167 inhibit the CLK kinases, and affect the proliferation of a broad range of cancer cell lines. A chemogenomic screen previously performed with GPS167 revealed that the depletion of components associated with mitotic spindle assembly altered
5-20-2024 Study sheds light on bacteria associated with pre-term birth
Researchers from North Carolina State University have found that multiple species of Gardnerella, bacteria sometimes associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV) and pre-term birth, can coexist in the same vaginal microbiome. The findings, published in mSystems, add to the emerging picture of Gardnerella’s effects on human health. Gardnerella is a group of anaerobic bacteria that are commonly found in the vaginal microbiome. Higher levels of the bacteria are a signature of BV and associated with higher risk of pre-term birth, but it is also found in women who have no sign
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations

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Its understood that we have skills. Those features reflect an individual who has lived and likely been in the workforce for awhile.
I'm not your typical GenX. I have current skills that are transferable.
I don't fit the recent college grad, company work cultures that don't embrace multiple generations. I looked at the reviews, photos, and that tells me how the company brands its image.
What companies hire for multi-industry experience, in insurance, banking and would that transfer to paralegal work for plaintiff side lawyers?
The main issue is pay and benefits.
If I were to work in insurance (not life sales) what companies hire someone with experience? Despite my 8 years in that field, Progressive wanted me to take silly games and match the shapes tests, even though I trained employees how to pass insurance licensing exams and worked in the industry.
Those are the silly tricks companies have to create barriers to employment and a youth based workforce.
Juvenile, puzzles and shape matching tests. I'm surprised they don't give out coloring books to see if you can color within the lines.
My competitive advantage in HR is that I've worked in all areas and also have outside industry experience which makes me well-rounded.
I'm lacking the photo on my desk with Magic Kingdom, Mackey and Minnie and spouse and children. That's what most companies which are conservative cultures want.
I dress conservatively, I have bipartisan views that I keep to myself so, outwardly, you wouldn't know where I stand.
Temp agencies don't have anything because they hire sales people to support their client employers who avoid PTO, health benefits and want an unemployment buffer.
I need income now. I used call centers for stopgap work, and even when I meet the strict and narrow performance metrics, and pee break schedule adherence, it doesn't get me promoted.
What places will hire people like us?
Thank you and I hope your day is going well.
EDIT to add, I don't think companies that hire people right out of college, feel comfortable hiring middle aged people who suffered from economic and health losses during and after Covid when everything was shut down and many people lost their incomes. Those whose jobs weren't impacted at that time, don't have a clue about those who lost their health, savings and livelihood. Rebuilding is stressful and I think certain companies want that recent college grad vibrancy versus a middle aged person's dedication, while suffering in silence with stress due to piled up debt and delayed health treatment issues. We might not exude conviviality, innocence and the same motivations when underpaid as opposed to someone who feels that they are paid adequately or more.
So many jobs that are posted for FT would require me to have a 2nd job in addition to that which could compromise my energies in the first job.
If you are paid more than your age, then you are doing well. Many of these jobs aren't paying me at or above my age.

Its understood that we have skills. Those features reflect an individual who has lived and likely been in the workforce for awhile.
I'm not your typical GenX. I have current skills that are transferable.
I don't fit the recent college grad, company work cultures that don't embrace multiple generations. I looked at the reviews, photos, and that tells me how the company brands its image.
What companies hire for multi-industry experience, in insurance, banking and would that transfer to paralegal work for plaintiff side lawyers?
The main issue is pay and benefits.
If I were to work in insurance (not life sales) what companies hire someone with experience? Despite my 8 years in that field, Progressive wanted me to take silly games and match the shapes tests, even though I trained employees how to pass insurance licensing exams and worked in the industry.
Those are the silly tricks companies have to create barriers to employment and a youth based workforce.
Juvenile, puzzles and shape matching tests. I'm surprised they don't give out coloring books to see if you can color within the lines.
My competitive advantage in HR is that I've worked in all areas and also have outside industry experience which makes me well-rounded.
I'm lacking the photo on my desk with Magic Kingdom, Mackey and Minnie and spouse and children. That's what most companies which are conservative cultures want.
I dress conservatively, I have bipartisan views that I keep to myself so, outwardly, you wouldn't know where I stand.
Temp agencies don't have anything because they hire sales people to support their client employers who avoid PTO, health benefits and want an unemployment buffer.
I need income now. I used call centers for stopgap work, and even when I meet the strict and narrow performance metrics, and pee break schedule adherence, it doesn't get me promoted.
What places will hire people like us?
Thank you and I hope your day is going well.
EDIT to add, I don't think companies that hire people right out of college, feel comfortable hiring middle aged people who suffered from economic and health losses during and after Covid when everything was shut down and many people lost their incomes. Those whose jobs weren't impacted at that time, don't have a clue about those who lost their health, savings and livelihood. Rebuilding is stressful and I think certain companies want that recent college grad vibrancy versus a middle aged person's dedication, while suffering in silence with stress due to piled up debt and delayed health treatment issues. We might not exude conviviality, innocence and the same motivations when underpaid as opposed to someone who feels that they are paid adequately or more.
So many jobs that are posted for FT would require me to have a 2nd job in addition to that which could compromise my energies in the first job.
If you are paid more than your age, then you are doing well. Many of these jobs aren't paying me at or above my age.

I'm helping a friend if mine transition from Kotor 1 & 2 to real DnD. (We used sw5e already, but it was rather wonky for our tastes)
The idea is that this character is basically Hk & T3, but messing with the old cannon a bit to participate in the campaign.
To summarize the goals if the build, HK-47: Shoots good, is stealthy, can tank a bit of damage & can translate basically any language.
T3-M4: Can shoot well enough, and is a skill monkey. Speaks in beeps and boops only.
To me this screams Warforged Artificer. Question is, which way should I make this work?
T3 the Battle Smith Can use INT with basicallyany weapon & uses Magic Stone/Homunculus Servant with the Steel Defender for Blaster Fire.
HK the Armorer Uses the Iniltrator's lightning Launchers as its blaster(s) then takes the Homunculus Servant as T3, role playing T3 as the smart one with Channel Magic + Mending. Or even have T3 tell HK how to do the smart people stuff.
I thought about HK as a battle Smith, but that would either leave T3 as the Steel Defender, or we'd need to make a third droid character.
So I ask you all, how would you do this?
View Poll

Hello everybody.
I have little to no experience in BG3 or turn-based combat video games, but I have played D&D 5E a lot. I never felt good at combat, or rather, I guess I was fine on my own and planning things with teammates, such as combat moves that could be combined to give our enemies a more powerful punch, but now I'm in control of a full party. It's overwhelming for me. I'm on Explorer difficulty, so I've managed to survive, most likely because of that.
I'm asking because a friend got online last night to help me with some mechanical issues I had and they were harsh about how well I did in combat... I never commented on their combat before when he live-streamed it. It just made me feel terrible honestly. I know I'm not the smartest, and my memory has been terrible since I had COVID, but... it just made me feel so terrible. So I'll take any advice I can, please. I'm not good with strategy all on my own.
Right now I'm level 4. I have a Half Wood-Elf Ranger with a Beast Companion, Shadowheart, Wyll, Gale, and Astarion. I still need to get Karlach, and I have Lae'zel, but I haven't used her. I might bring her in and replace her with Wyll, but I enjoy my party now. I want to have fun and do my own thing, but still, I'll accept any and all advice for all companions so things run smoother.
Astarion is an Arcane Trickster, Gale is an Evocation Wizard, Shadowheart is doing her thing as a Trickery Cleric, and Wyll is The Fiend Warlock. Then, of course, my Half-Wood Elf is a Ranger, and I picked Dire Raven as her beast companion, but I am unsure how I feel about it.
Any character sheet, spell tips, or combat efficiency tips? Anything is welcome. Just please be friendly or harsh. Also, I struggle with placing my characters on the field correctly. Are there any tips for that? In my usual D&D games, we pick our movement order and everything, making it easy to better prepare for combat, even if we don't know what's coming. But in this game, everyone is just grouped together.
.

I'm junior research staff at a university, with a PhD in Communications earned in 2020. I have been trying to find other opportunities so that I can work in a research capacity remotely. However, no matter how many applications I send out, I am not getting job offers. Aside from working in a remote research job, I would also like to expand my skills and branch out to something like computational social science.
I want to get more formal quantitative training, as it doesn't come across strongly in my coursework or degree type. However, I'm in a weird position. I was never a "math kid", and in spite of having grad level statistics courses and stats in my dissertation, I lack any algebra or calc courses.
So... do I start from the beginning to get more quant background? Maybe get an AS or something? I'm genuinely unsure.
I'm hoping that this can serve me in a few ways: 1. that it will make it more explicit to any industry opportunities I have a quant background, and 2. give me a solid background to extend my research into new areas.

I've seen this issue in loads of posts in reddit since a long time ago, I've reported the bug to Larian 3 months ago and still we are not able to venture forth while on split screen ever since December 2023. I love Larian but how is a bug so damaging to the experience, (as it makes it impossible to create a campaign with two custom characters while split screening) still hasn't been fixed in such a long time?
Screenshot of the bug

While the title might sound ridiculous, this idea has some interesting things pointing towards it as a possibility.
https://chipstero7.wordpress.com/
Quote: (1% of 100%):

CERN, or the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is an international organization based in Geneva, Switzerland. CERN’s primary mission is to explore the fundamental nature of the universe by investigating the basic building blocks of matter and the forces that govern their interactions. This research often involves studying subatomic particles like protons, neutrons, electrons, and various other particles that make up matter. One of the most prominent achievements of CERN is the construction and operation of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC), the world’s largest and most powerful particle accelerator. The LHC is a circular accelerator situated underground, spanning the border between Switzerland and France. It’s used to accelerate particles to extremely high energies and then collide them at incredibly high speeds. These collisions create conditions similar to those just moments after the Big Bang, allowing scientists to study the behaviour of matter in its most fundamental states. CERN was essentially created in order to recreate the conditions of the early universe after the Big Bang as a possible means of testing the Big Bang theory which has dominated physics since the middle of the last century. CERN’s experimental ‘test’ of the Big Bang theory has focused on the search for the elusive Higgs Boson (the “God Particle”) because the Big Bang theorists believe that the universe could not have been created without it. However, anyone who examines the Big Bang theory honestly and in sufficient depth can see that it does not hold water and contains holes in its logic so large that a galactic supercluster could be driven through them. It’s just like CAGW theory, but on a cosmic scale instead of merely a terrestrial one. No experimental ‘tests’ for this are needed and so it’s a wonder how this half-baked nonsense has become the holy cow of science. The experimental ‘tests’ provided by CERN are superfluous and the creation of their particle accelerator was not needed for the stated scientific purpose.
Investigative mythologist William Henry, who is a producer for the popular American TV show Ancient Aliens and author of over 18 books in alternative science, says: “If we take his [Leon Lederman’s] words literally, it suggests that the search for the “God Particle” and the creation of these amazing particle accelerators, such as the one at CERN, is actually a recreation of the Tower of Babel. Well, the Tower of Babel seems to have been humanity’s first attempt to blast open holes in Heaven, to open stargates and worm-holes”. Not many have made the connection, but the Shiva statue at CERN can be connected to the Tower of Babel. This is because Shiva is assumed by some to be the same person as Nimrod, and Nimrod was responsible for building the original Tower of Babel. According to Chris Relitz in his book ‘Antichrist Osiris: The History of the Luciferian Conspiracy’, Shiva and Nimrod are one and the same character. Quote: “By the time the character of Nimrod reached India, it seems he was known as Shiva. The legends of both are too similar to ignore. Both were associated with fire, destruction, wore bull’s horns, had profound phalluses and wore leopard skins. Both had a trident as a weapon, as the devil today is seen with a pitchfork”. This is also corroborated by Erica Nugent in her book ‘Clash of the Kingdoms’, where she says: “Nimrod became Shiva”. Could it be CERN’s goal to recreate the Tower of Babel, which might explain why they have a statue of Shiva (or Nimrod) as their mascot? Author of the book ‘Revising Reality’, Anthony Patch seems to think so, where he says: “Strangely, CERN constitutes a new Tower of Babel in several respects. The goal of CERN seeks to defy God, deify humankind, establish human supremacy, and create a stairway to Heaven”. Patch says that CERN is attempting to access the Saturn Polar Configuration and re-establish a worm-hole or link (he calls it a “plasma conduit”). Another name for this “plasma conduit” would be the Tower of Babel.
Similar to Patch, according to Nick Hinton, author of the book ‘The Saturn Time Cube Simulation’ and ‘The Aquarian Singularity’, CERN is attempting to access the worm-hole that existed during the Saturn Polar Configuration, as he explains in his Twitter article here (if that’s inaccessible to you) his Reddit article here. This worm-hole has been dubbed by some the “Saturn Stargate”. As Hinton says: “The Saturn Stargate is a theoretical celestial alignment (based on the Electric Universe theory) that supposedly causes a portal to open in the sky”. In the TechBubble article ‘How CERN plan to use the Large Hadron Collider to open portals to other dimensions’, researcher Adam Milton-Barker speculates (similar to Hinton) that CERN’s goal is to access the Saturn Polar Configuration, saying: “There are some very interesting theories connected to CERN. One theory is that there is a connection between CERN and Saturn. You may have heard of Jacob’s Ladder which is described in the Book of Genesis. One of CERN’s goals is to recreate Jacob’s Ladder and re-open a portal that is said to have existed between Earth, Venus, Mars, and Saturn, when the planets were in alignment many [thousands of] years ago”. As mentioned above, Talbott associates this alignment with the Tower of Babel. Various researchers have suggested that CERN are attempting to recreate the Tower of Babel, and some have speculated that the Tower of Babel was actually a worm-hole. The Saturn Polar Configuration (which Talbott associates with the Tower of Babel) was also represented by Atlas (see ‘Discourses on an Alien Sky#13’). In Greek mythology, Atlas bared the weight of the heavens on his shoulders. Curiously, CERN refers to the Large Hadron Collider as the “ATLAS EXPERIMENT” which connects them to the Tower of Babel, and may hint at their real objective.