Without being too specific, I'm going through it pretty badly. I've been doing a lot of introspective dissection, and am coming into quite a few uncomfortable and very disheartening realizations. I'd seen quite a bit of talk lately about different "attachment styles" in various subs, so in the interest of my own evolution figured I'd look into it and see what I see.
It all makes so much sense now.
After doing a few different online quizzes and tests, nothing formal or remotely professional, and coming up with the same results every time, I decided to read into it a bit. All the pieces of my life are coming together. Everything I've ever felt, every reason for every action and reaction, every terrible thought, every failure, it all makes sense.
Some simple background for those that can put it together; I'm late April Taurus, IXTJ (mostly Ni dominant), and now have found out that I line up perfectly with the descriptors of someone with a Disorganized Attachment style.
This knowledge with what I already know of my personality, both assumed and real, makes me so, so sad. It's like every card in the deck is stacked against me. Like I was fated to be unhappy, unimportant, and incompatible. A stony, emotionally incompetent, anxiety-ridden, endlessly expanding sinkhole of doubt and despair.
Even typing this, I started with hope that there are answers, and now I'm sitting here quietly sobbing with none at all, actively feeling the spiral downward pick up speed. I need to believe that there is some escape from this sad state of existence. How did you overcome this? How are you getting out of the pit? What techniques or tools have worked for you?
I'm prepared for a fight, I've been doing it my whole life. I have too much to lose by giving up, and I am not willing to compromise by claiming acceptance. I want to beat this. I want to win. I want to live my life on MY terms, not the ones set for me by trauma.

Just had kind of a breakdown I guess. In my garage by myself drinking whiskey as I usually do when I'm not working. My wife and 2 kids are inside drifting off to sleep for work and school tommorow. Was watching tik toks on my phone. Came across a video about Zach bryans new Song Eulogy. Went down the worm hole of videos featuring it.
My life has been shit for the past 10 years or so. Married for 8 to a woman that was the love of my life who after 6 months of marriage told me in the middle of a pointless fight that she only Married me so she wouldn't have to share custody of our kids and that this wasn't a real marriage. Then told me she was waiting until our youngest turned 18 to file for divorce. Everything past that point was pretty much a blur. Around 4 years after that I adopted a dog from a shelter with her knowledge but not permission.
After about 2 weeks after the dog came home it peed on the couch she was sitting on after she invited the dog up. She freaked out and in front of our young kids, demanded I take the dog back to the shelter or she would divorce me and take the kids. She stopmed upstairs while our children were crying and our young daughter came up to me with tears in her eyes asking if I was going to take the dog back to the shelter. Fighting back tears myself, I told her that yes I was and that I had to. Just then, my wife walked to the top of the stairs crying and said that if I took the dog back to the shelter she would leave me and take the kids away from me.
I didn't know what to do or say at that point. She told me if I did what she told me to do then we were done. I told her fine, we are done. She asked me what I meant by that. I told her I didn't care anymore and that I was going to file for divorce. Then she screamed at me for abandoning her.
A few days later we were back to normal. No affection, just being cordial to eachother. Maybe a year later we had another fight and I brought up that our marriage isn't real she asked me what the hell I was talking about. I reminded her about what she said 6 months after we got married and what I had been basing every decision financial or otherwise on since then and her response was something along the lines of "oh my God it was just a fight get over it".
That's been my life ever since. Zero love Zero affection. My kids are teenagers now and they basically want nothing to do with me. I almost hung myself when I was 13 in the midst of my parents divorce. My youngest brother caught me and asked what I was doing. I told him I was hanging a rope swing in a tree. He didn't know any better so that's what I did. Over 20 years later while visiting my mom and step dad, my kids swung and played on the rope that I was going to hang myself with. Nobody knows about that. I'm constantly laid off from work. Deeply in debt. Getting harder and harder to pay the bills. Only talk to 2 of my 4 brothers and even then it's just every so often. Not that I'd ever tell them about of this. My dad passed 3 years ago. Don't talk to my mom. Have 1 good freind that I can talk to about this but don't want to burden him with this.
I dont want to kill myself. I love my children and I don't want to put them through this. I would rather die 1000 times than put them through this. I'm just tired. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of just barely getting by. I'm tired of not being loved or being worthy of love. Tired of being treated like nothing but a paycheck. I drink whiskey to escape and am afraid ill actually talk myself into suicide one of these weekends. My weekends and any time off are spent alone in my garage. I distill my own liquor. It's a nice escape. I only drink when I'm not working the next day. Being laid off after about a week I sink back into a deep depression of feeling worthless and not worthy. That's been happening more often than not lately.
I cant talk to anybody about these feelings. Once about 4 years ago my wife demanded that I talk to somebody anybody about my "trauma " I went through growing up. I talked to her about a fist fight i had with my older brother once and she told me I was not welcome in my own home until I saw a professional. I had opened up to her as she had always wanted and she immediately used it against me. That was the day I stopped telling her about any of my problems. She didn't seem to mind.
I hate how my life turned out. I always pictured myself happily married to the love of my life. Growing old together and facing whatever life threw at us together. I'm only 39. After looking at the online child support calculator for my state i learned I would be paying $1200 per month per child. As far as I can see their is just no escape for me. I can wait until our kids are 18 but then I'm stuck with alimony. The simplest outcome I can see is if I'm no longer here. I am scared that I will either talk myself into killing myself or at some point just stop caring about it and do it.

Sort of a reference to this https://www.reddit.com/NatureofPredators/s/ASiX51M6GI
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Hey all! Welcome to the Tellus Child Services Q&A thread. If you got any questions about raising and/or caring for human children, ask away below or PM me directly. Your email address will not be publicly displayed and we will be discrete about your personal info, but we would appreciate if you would give your species so we can have some context to answer your questions with. Unless you chose otherwise, your species will be public and represented by an initial at the side of your user tag.
Please note that racist commentary will not be tolerated and will be taken down. I know there’s some hard feelings going on out there, but leave our kids out of it.
David Schneider, Head of Tellus’s Department of Child Services.
COMMENT HERE

• [ ] I am not a robot

What Species are you? - [ ] Smigli - [ ] Krev - [ ] Resket - [ ] Jaslip - [ ] Trombil - [ ] Ulchid

• [ ] (Hide race?)

User Name: —————————— GUEST ——————————-
Email —————————————-
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COMMENT ———————————————————————————
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SCALEOF1210 (K): What kinda of toys do human pups like?
DAVID: I dunno, what kinda toys do Krev pups like?
SCALEOF1210 (K): Oh.
DAVID: It’s alright. Just try to think through that lens and you’ll do fine.
_
GUEST (S): Why is being without your “clothes” so embarrassing? Is it religious?
DAVID: Not exactly. It started out as a way to stay warm when we migrated out jungles and savanna’s, but the side effect was that it made the absence of coverings a) feel insecure, and b) an open floodgate of carnal attraction. So actually, to answer your question, we’re covering our reproductive organs. It’s a modesty thing. The practice got applied to the kids anyway.
GUEST (S): Female humans have sex organs on their chests?
DAVID: No. but female mammaries become more pronounced as they mature and tend to draw male sexual attention.
GUEST (S): Whyyyyyyyy?
DAVID: Simply put: they remind us of mom.
GUEST (S): Ahhhhhhh!
DAVID: I was really trying to avoid spelling that out, y’know?
GUEST (S): Hey man, I don’t have have feet. Why would I care about tiptoeing?
DAVID: Huh. You know, I really think I’m learning a lot about Smiglis.
GUEST (S): Hey! Good for you! 🎉
_
GUEST (R): What’s wrong with regurgitation feeding? It helps with digestion.
DAVID: Maybe for avians, but It’s not sanitary for humans. We have a different digestion/immune setup. And no offense, It’s also just really, really gross to us.
_
GUEST (K): How do you hold a human pup?
DAVID: For Krev, cradle them in the your arm and be sure to support their head. That’s important because it’s too heavy for them to hold up by themselves. Again, no tail rides until they’re at least two years old.
_
SNOWFLOWER333 (J): Do humans kits really need to nurse well into adolescence? I don’t think I can keep it up for that long….
DAVID: Hang on, are you saying you’ve been NURSING one of your charges?
SNOWFLOWER333 (J): Right along side my own. I know Tommy’s not a jaslip and that it’s not human milk, but I figure it’s still better for him than formula. Should I not?
DAVID: Uhhhh… dunno. I’m gonna discuss this with my colleagues. In the meantime, stick to the formula we sent.
SNOWFLOWER333 (J): Alright, David. Though, about that first question….
DAVID: Long story short: we’d harvest milk from domestic bovines as a culinary ingredient and breakfast time staple, but breast feeding stops with infancy. You wouldn’t be sucking a teenager.
SNOWFLOWER333 (J): 😅oh good!
DAVID: Would be a little awkward, huh?
SNOWFLOWER333 (J):🤣A little.
_
GUEST (U): How do you hold a human pup?
DAVID: Cradled in your…. flipper. I guess. Just keep their head supported, it too heavy for them to hold up. You can also hold them to your chest with their head resting over your shoulder.
GUEST (U): We don’t really have shoulders.
DAVID: Nnnnnevermind then.
_
OBORSHINE (K): Is it okay to post my human child on the Internet?

DAVID: I suppose, but try not to embarrass him. OBORSHINE (K): 😜Aww but I’m a mom! Embarrassing him is my job! DAVID: In that case, we’ll send you his baby pics. 

OBORSHINE (K): Yeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss.
_
CALLMESPEED (T) Is it okay to give my child cybernetic implants to cure conditions?
DAVID: That will depend on what condition we’re talking about, but yes, probably. Be sure that they are approved by a human doctor, though.
_
GUEST (S): "Why do you have so many wiggly bits!"
DAVID: Erm, wiggly bits?
GUEST (S): “Yeah! With all the toesy toes and fingery things”
DAVID: Oh! Um, well other race have them too, but I guess ours ARE quite long and nimble. Well, we specialized pretty early on in tool manipulation, soooooooo.
GUEST (S): Raaaaaaaad!
DAVID: Happy to impress. I guess?
_
GUEST (J): How do you hold a human Kit?
DAVID: I wouldn’t know how to hold anything with a prehensile tail, you’re the experts there. But however you do it, be sure that you support the kids head. A human infants head is too heavy for them to hold up by themselves.
_
CALLMESPEED (T): Damn Schieder, always forcing us to cope with the weaknesses of the flesh, and denying us the certainty of steel.
DAVID: Ah, hello Malcom. Does Speed know you’ve hacked his account?
DAVID: Look, that’s not solely my decision kiddo. We put it to a vote. Maybe things will change in the future, but in the meantime, just wait till you’re 18 before you chop your limbs off. You can probably still get an implant, though.”
_
SHOPCLASSREJECT (S): Yeesh, David! How can my kid hit me with a ball from across the room?
DAVID: 😁Talent, my friend. Did you know that humans are being trained as grenadiers in the Consortium army? We have excellent throwing arms. Oh! Uh, you weren’t hurt though, were you?
SHOPCLASSREJECT (S): Eh, A little. My cheek is swollen, but it’s not like I had any bones or teeth to break.. I was mostly just surprised at how fast it came at me.
DAVID: Sorry Shopclass, He should have known better, but it’s a pretty common childhood offense for humans.
SHOPCLASSREJECT (S): Got a new rule, though: no throwing things in the house.
DAVID: Sounds like a good rule.
_
MRS.DOGGY (J): Hey, just got home with my kids and when I was helping Heather remove her foot coverings….. having 5 hind toes is normal for humans, correct? I just want to make sure.

DAVID: 😁 Correct. And we don’t have dewclaws either. MRS.DOGGY (J): Oh good! MRS.DOGGY (J): Erm , that it’s normal, I mean. 

_
GUEST (K): WHY WAS I REJECTED! WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
DAVID: Im sorry sir, I don’t know, but I’m sure it was anything against your character. Given our situation and our unfamiliarity with non-humans, we are being excessively cautious with our young and more than 75 percent of applicants were turned down as a result. Perhaps you can try again in a year or two when humanity is a little more accustomed to other sapient species. Please forgive us.
_
BUNCHBERRIES (K): So I noticed one of my female charges has enlarged mammories. Does that mean she secretly has children?
DAVID: No. It’s means she’s a teenager.
DAVID: That’s a normal development.
BUNCHBERRIES (K): 😮‍💨 Oh, thank you .
_
GUEST (R): How do you hold a human hatchling?
DAVID: Cradled in your wing-thing. Just keep their head supported, it too heavy for them to hold up themselves.
_
GUEST (S): How would one hold a human hatchling?
DAVID: cradled in your…. noodley appendage. Support their head.
_
GUEST (K): Me and my wife would like to foster, but- forgive me for asking- can we expect dung throwing to be a problem?
DAVID: 🤣HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Nah. I understand why you’re asking, but we’re higher evolved than that.
_
GUEST (K): Can I have one?
DAVID: You can apply to adopt or foster a child, but that’s no guarantee. We are VERY discriminate about applicants, especially nonhuman ones. Before you put pen to paper, I would consider very carefully whether it’s a child you’re looking for or a pet.
GUEST (K): What’s a pen?
DAVID: Ah, the times we live in…
_
NANNYBIRD35 (R): Jackie has accurately described me as a “Big Bird”, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why he sings a song asking how to get to a place called Sess-Me Street every other time he sees me. Was there something special about that place? What does it have to do with ME?
DAVID: Ok, that’s funny! He thinks you’re a character named Big Bird from a children’s show called Sesame Street [Video link]. Btw, let me know if she ever calls a Krev “Oscar”. I’m gonna laugh.
_
MRS.DOGGY (J): What is a “doggie” anyway, and why do my kids call me that?
DAVID: I was WONDERING when that would come up. I didn’t think it would be useful to explain before, but we had these domestic canines back home called Dogs and you kinda resemble one. They were intelligent, trusty, loyal creatures that helped us hunt, herd livestock, guard our turf, and and were beloved members of our families. None of the kids have met a dog in the flesh, but they’ve been lionized in books and cartoons and your resemblance to them is strong enough to trigger an instinctive adoration we had towards them.
MRS.DOGGY (J): They…. think I’m a pet? Like with you and the Krev?
DAVID: Hey, if they haven’t told you to ”Sit” or “Roll over” I think you’re good. But the point is, the kids trust you implicitly, and when you’ve suddenly been thrown to aliens after living in a hole all your life, having a comforting face to keep you stable counts for a lot.
MRS.DOGGY (J): Oh! 😊Well, I think I can live with that.
_
OBORSHINE (K): How do I take care of Samsons head fur? It’s getting so long and tangled!
DAVID: Oh right. Only jaslips need to brush. We’ll send you a proper hair brush. In the meantime. Get a jaslip brush- one with wide bristle spacing- and gently comb the knots out, starting from the bottom and slowly working your way up. We can also try to get you in contact with a human who has experience cutting hair.
_
TEACUPGUY (K): Dang, I had no idea human fur would get longer. How much longer does it get?
DAVID: Down to their hips or farther. Doesn’t really stop. You’ll either want to get it trimmed or let grow so you can tie it up behind their heads.
_
GUEST (T): How do you hold a human hatchling?
DAVID: Cradled comfortably in whichever bionic limb is not capable of crushing a car. Make sure to keep their head supported. They don’t have the neck muscles to hold it up
GUEST (T): 😊 Oh that’s fixable.
DAVID: Thanks but NO.
_
BUNCHABERRIES (K): David! Jeremy’s caught the MONKEY POX!
DAVID: … The what?
BUNCHABERRIES (K): What do I do?! He’s been getting worse and worse all week!
DAVID: Stay cam Berries, What are the symptoms?
BUNCHABERRIES (K): He’s broken out in purple spots! And he’s aslo listless. Stomach ach. Head ach. Poor boy can’t even get out of bed! He just sits there and groans and today he asked if I was an “angel” I’m at wits end!
DAVID: Ah. THAT monkey pox. School’s in session, right?
BUNCHABERRIES (K): Is that really relevant?!
DAVID: Just trust me. Check his backpack. Is there a pen or marker that is the EXACT same color as the spots?
BUNCHABERRIES (K): There is.
BUNCHABERRIES (K): Why?
DAVID: Take it and draw a little dot next to the ones on his skin. Make it roughly the same size.
BUNCHABERRIES (K): Ok. Done.
BUNCHABERRIES (K): OH THAT SEAKY LITTLE-!
DAVID: My work here is done.
BUNCHABERRIES (K): HE IS SO GROUNDED!
_
HAPPYHATCHLINGS: David, this is Tisa at Happy Hatchlings Early Learning School. We’ve noticed that our human students can’t seem to get comfortable in their napping nests and keep hanging their feet over the edges. It’s like they can’t curl up!
DAVID: They can’t. Not long term, anyway, and not as tightly as other Consiortium races. You’re going to need longer, flatter beds that they can stretch out on and keep their spines relatively straight. We’ll be sure to send you some cots.
_
DADJOKE (K): 😉 Thanks for the sponges, but I think my wife’s got bathtime covered.
[Folder Attachments: 7 photos ]
[Pic 1: A shot of two shirtless human boys [ages 5 and 6] in makeshift “war paint” running screaming past the camera as a jaslip with a wild grin skids around the corner after them.]
[Pic 2: The victorious jaslip sits on her haunches with one of the boy hopelessly tangled in her tails and the other grappled between her forelegs. The latter is getting her full professional attention as she licks the warpaint off his face, ignoring his cries of disgust and attempts to wiggle free.]
[Pic 3: Said boy apparently opened his mouth at an inopportune moment and is now spitting and sputtering while Mama Jaslip laughs herself to tears.]
[Pic 4: One of the boys laughing hysterically as the jaslip pins him down across her forelegs and licks his belly.]
[Pic 5: a close up on one boy getting his hair worked on, wincing uncomfortably as Mama Jaslip get a blunt claw in his eyebrow while maneuvering his head this way and that for the right grooming angle.]
[Pic 6: Arm around the boys shoulder, Mama proudly presents her work to the camera; one mostly warpaint free human with a complimentary cowlick. The lock of hair is stuck straight up, stiff with spit, like an alfalfa leaf. Mama is winking at the camera and doing her best thumbs-up while the boy is shooting a disgruntled side eye at his brother who is laughing at the abominable hairdo.]
[Pic 7: Mama has one of the boys lying on his stomach while she leisurely grooming his back. He’s resting his chin on his arms, looking sleepy. His brother, nestled among Mama’s tails in the back ground, is yawning. Mama kinda looks tired herself.]
[Pic 8: All three of them are asleep. Mama seems to have nodded off on top of the boy she was cleaning, her head draped across his back. The other is lying against her side, his head barely visible above the nest of tails blanketing him].
DADJOKE (K): The kids have started calling her “The Kissy Monster” when she gets like this.
DAVID: Oh my gosh! This is so freaking cute! Do have them use the sponges, though. Tongue bathing isn’t really doable for longterm human hygiene.
DADJOKE (K): 😊Glad you liked it. But yeah, I get it. Most consortium races aren’t keen on the slobber fest either.
CRAZYTAILS (J): 😏Funny, YOU didn’t seem to mind the other night.
DADJOKE (K): 😳…
DAVID: 😳…
CRAZYTAILS (J):😏 You forgot this was a joint account, didn’t you?
DADJOKE (K): Just wasn’t expecting you to be logged in right now. Hi sweetheart.
CRAZYTAILS (J): 😊Hey scalyboi.
DAVID: Um, hey, before you two keep flirting dirty, what was it the boys were marked with?
CRAZYTAILS (J): Hm? Oh, just washable marker. They were playing “Viking Warriors” or something, running around, slaying monsters, ambushing DadJoke in his den, and beating each other silly with pool noodles for a two hour straight. That until I, the dreaded Kissy Monster, vanquished them both and subjected them to bath and bedtime! Muahaha!
DADJOKE (K): As for what you really wanted to know, she didn’t suffer from licking the stuff. The markers are made with Jaslip kits in mind, so they needed to be nontoxic and tasteless in case they or their parents have to clean up some body doodling.
CRAZYTAILS (J): same with Jaslip cosmetics, btw. Some are even flavored. Makes cleaning up after dates pretty fun, right Daddy?
DADJOKE (K): Fluffykins, if I say I’ll be leaving the office in half an hour, will you stop embarrassing me on a public forum?
CRAZYTAILS (J): 🥰I’ll be waiting with the candles.
_
GUEST (K): Is it ok to pet humans pups?
DAVID: Lemme put it this way; what do you call a Krev who goes around petting Krev children?
GUEST (K): Creepy?
DAVID: 👉Bingo.
GUEST (K): Huh? What’s that mean?
DAVID: It means yes, petting kids is creepy.
_
DR.WORM (guess): Hey, what’s an appropriate amount of holopad time for the kids, 10 hours or 12?
DAVID:…
DAVID: Doc- First of all; not a real doctor, i presume?
DR.WORM (S): Sure ain’t!
DAVID: 😉👉👉But you ARE a real worm?
DR.WORM (S): YES! I KNEW I picked the right pop culture reference!
DAVID: 👍👏🏻Sure did. Sure did.
DAVID: Sooooo let’s talk screen time.
DR.WORM (S): Yeeeeeaaaaah aright, I was kiiiiinda guessing 10 was a too much. Is 8 right?
DAVID: Try two.
DR.WORM (S): TWO?!?!
DAVID: Yup.
DR.WORM (S): TWO HOURS?!?!
DAVID: Yup, yup, yup.
DR.WORM (S): HOLY [expletive] MAN! I’VE BEEN FRYING THEIR BRAINS!
DAVID: You open sometime this week, Doc? We’re gonna help you out.
_
GUEST (R): You let jaslip take care of your hatchlings? Are you crazy?! [COMMENT DELETED]
_
CRAZYTAILS (J): What IS a wolf? The boys Insisted I be one in one of their games.
DAVID: This guy [attachment]
CRAZYTAILS (J): Woah. Now THAT’s a handsome face.
DADJOKE (K): Eh-hem.
CRAZYTAILS (J): Well, not handsomer than my husband’s.
_
CRAZYTAILS (J): Is growing long head-fur some sort of defense mechanism against grooming? Because it’s starting to work. Hard to get the stringy stuff off my tongue. Bleugh.
DAVID: heh. Sounds like the boys need a haircut. Swing by Tellus, we got some barbers that can shape em up.
DAVID: Or just let them grow it out until they can tie it behind their heads
CRAZYTAILS (J): The latter sounds like less trouble honestly.
_
BETWEENBILLOWS (U): Should I be concerned that Maria has a figurine of a dead human nailed to a T on a necklace? It’s kinda morbid.
DAVID: Believe it or not, that’s a religious symbol. Did she not tell you about it?
BETWEENBILLOWS (U): David, she barely talks to us at all. It’s been three weeks and she hardly leaves her room.
DAVID: Hmm... Well THAT might be cause for concern. Let’s talk over PM.
_

A shoutout and apology basket to u/kabhes and u/HeadWood_ who’s suggested questions I kinda stole. There were several others that I wanted to feature but couldn’t figure out how to work with.

Having seen many cringeworthy “analysis” from various armchair warriors dissecting IDF’s actions (usually ending with a backlink to their idea of “poof” of Israel’s “war crimes”), I figured I’d offer a more detailed perspective on things from someone more familiar with the topic than an average redditor.
This started as a response to a comment “what would you do different with unlimited budget” but then grew beyond a simple response – hence I’m making it into a couple lengthy posts.
I’m going to break it into two parts:
1. General perspective on urban war, what it’s like, and things to keep in mind when analyzing reports from the ground (Today).
2. More technical thoughts on urban combat, analysis of IDF’s operation, etc. (that I’ll probably do tomorrow)
About me: 10 years military (U.S.), intimately familiar with urban battlefield. Ethnically I’m part Moroccan, Bedouin, Jewish, and Finish. Born in USSR of all places. Immigrated to the US as a teenager. Third-generation military (the first two were in Soviet forces). Lots of formerly professional (and now, personal) interest and experience with all relevant aspects of this topic. Curious student of history – especially of the military variety.
Also of relevance – I’m an atheist, though baptized as Christian… but the only religion practiced in my family is Islam (about a quarter of my family is Muslim). I love my Muslim family members. I have no problem with "normal" Muslims or Arabs (as I’m part one myself). But I really, really f-ing hate Islamists and wish each one of them a slow, painful death – as soon as possible. Their ideology is the most insidious form of evil I’ve ever encountered personally. And it’s incompatible with modern civilization.
Ok… part one.

The realities of War (killing sacred cows)

1. War is fun. There – I said it. It’s not fun if you’re the one getting your rear end kicked. But when you’re the one doing the kicking – truth is… it can be a lot of fun. It’s taboo to say, but it’s true.

2. Reasons it's fun: clarity – routine concerns of peaceful life drop off. Your daily objectives become crystal clear. Basic human emotions become amplified. The highs are really high. The lows are really low. And, if you survive the lows, even they take on a special, perversely-nostalgic meaning later on.
3. Why this matters.
(a). The reasons one goes to war are critically important. Because war is fun – it’s stupid easy to enlist young men full of testosterone to fight. Most young men feel invincible until they aren’t – and by that point, bullets are already flying.
(b.) Hence, drawing moral equivalence between a side that responds to violence and the side that deliberately provokes violence is absurd. As the saying goes – old men start wars and young men die in them. These “old men” already know what war entails. Thus, provoking a war is a far more insidious act than reacting to it… all other circumstances being equal.
4. Side note (a personal theory of mine) – the energy of war begins with a lot of testosterone (until it takes on its own velocity). Which leads to a personal observation – societies where young men get laid, typically fight a lot less wars. Islamist ideologies are breeding grounds for wannabe jihadis. Primarily, due to the ideology itself. But also, by prohibiting the mating energy of young men and channeling it into rage and violence instead. If you think can change my opinion on it – feel free.
5. War is absurd. Each day consists of hours of boredom followed by minutes of terror and exhilaration. It’s a bipolar environment. The whole thing is absurd. And when you stumble upon trivial, idiotic things following hours of combat – the only way to stay sane is to embrace dark humor and laugh at things you’d never laugh at in normal life.
(a). Imagine a scenario – you just survived an hour-long close-proximity firefight. An Apache finally swoops in and takes the roof off the building you were unable to suppress for the past 30 minutes. You move in to investigate – stepping over dead bodies, trying not to slip on blood, cracking stupid jokes because you’re still terrified. You walk into a child’s bedroom and see spent shell casings, dead bodies, weapons, a copy of Quaran among children’s toys on the floor. You make your way through the house trying to ID who it belonged to, etc. You start opening drawers and what-dya-know – red, sexy lingerie of the former lady of the house. The ONLY sane reaction to this absurdity is uncontrollable laughter. Grown men will put the bra over their plate carrier, pose for pictures like idiots, etc.
(b). Is posting such pictures on social media a breach of discipline? Of course it is. But the idiotic joy of it – it’s a normal reaction. In fact, it’s a weirdly healthy reaction. People who post pictures of soldiers acting like idiots and claim them to be “proof” of some…idk… animal character of IDF soldiers are clueless. If you’re one of those – you have no idea what you’re talking about.
c. But I’ll tell you what I don’t see. I don’t see pictures of IDF dragging bodies of Hamas fighters and spitting on them. I don’t see pictures of IDF running behind detainees and yelling “Moses is Great”, etc. For those of you drawing moral equivalence between IDF behavior and that of Hamas – I’d like to congratulate you on being an idiot.

6. Controlled Violence.
(a). Fundamentally, the objective of a well-executed war is controlled violence in order to achieve political/strategic goals. How the violence actually plays out is very difficult to fully control. Therefore, INTENTIONS MATTER. A LOT.
i. A force intent on minimizing unnecessary casualties and failing is still far superior morally to a force intent on inflicting unnecessary casualties. IDF is the former. Hamas is the latter.
(b). ~Violence (once initiated) is extremely difficult to control~. That’s why a professional military (a real one) is much different in executing violence than a militia.
i. A militia (any militia) will inevitably escalate violence beyond necessary. The most “alpha” characters usually rise to the top. Often, via sheer brutality and fighting prowess. Human emotions (anger, revenge, pride) take over. And they’re difficult to control.
ii. A professional military operates by objectives and command structure. It will inevitably make errors and even commit war crimes – again, war is chaos that one never fully controls. However, “emotional” decisions rarely rise above tactical necessities. And conduct “unbecoming” is typically punished promptly by your own – because (almost) everyone understands the necessity of structure, rules, and strict moral code.
iii. Are there professional military units that end up committing crime deliberately or behaving in unbecoming manner? Of course – it only takes a few bad apples in key positions of command. But that’s rather an exception that proves the rule.
(c). ~Not all military units are made equal~. IDF, for instance, consists of some professional elements and a whole bunch of citizen soldiers. Everyone has a role to play. Some units are designated as more combat-focused than others. And even within designations, there is a hierarchy of combat readiness. It’s not always formal, but commanders have a good sense of it. Less combat-ready (even when combat-designated) units will usually be assigned more passive roles. “Better” units will be the ones moving forward and seeking contact with the enemy (provided that command has this luxury (i.e. enough options at their disposal).
i. IDF, however, has very few luxuries – it’s mostly citizen soldiers in a nation of only 8 million people. Their more “professional” units are world class – it really doesn’t get much better. But there aren’t a lot of them.
ii. IDF’s “citizen soldiers” are also quite good. Much better than any other conscripted military I’ve ever seen (and I happen to be intimately familiar with the Soviet and Russian militaries – once deemed the “scariest” conscripted forces).

7. War is Chaotic. Every unit will make mistakes. Through a combination of fear, fatigue, lack of clarity, and a very narrow “field of view” for each individual and most line units. That’s why things like Rules of Engagement, “Commander’s Intent”, etc. are critical. Yet, mistakes will happen. And the “citizen soldiers” will commit more errors than more “professional” units.
(a). The chaos is exacerbated by urban environment. In a city, each sub-element lives in its tiny “world” – at any given point, it’s rarely larger than a city block. When they hear gunfire – rarely do they have the context behind it unless they’re engaged in it. The information coming through is sparce and, often, it’s by design.
(b). Among this chaos and close proximity, these units operate in silos, trying to accomplish their objectives and not shoot each other while at it.
(c). Inevitably, someone gets jumpy – think of IDF shooting Israeli hostages a couple months back. Under the circumstances – I’m surprised things like that don’t happen more often. Truth is, most armchair generals who like to issue judgements on such things, would’ve been scared sh*tless themselves and probably would’ve pulled the trigger even quicker than the unfortunate idiot who killed those hostages.
8. The Soldier’s Field of View is very narrow. Rarely do you see the people shooting at you. Rarely do you know if you killed the person who was shooting at you or if someone else did. Rarely do you know that there are civilians somewhere in the house you’re taking fire from – usually you find bodies after the fact. Etc., etc. When you hear that a professional military unit killed a civilian in an active combat zone – if your first reaction is “they meant to do it” – congratulations again - you’re a clueless idiot.
9. The Islamist Enemy is Insidious. I can’t think of a more insidious enemy to fight than a bunch of Islamist lunatics with a plan, terrain knowledge, and very lose command structure. Every horror story you’ve heard about Hamas is true. How do I know? Because we’ve seen it all before. You don’t have to take IDF’s word for it – just ask any Amercian soldier who’ve seen sh*t in any other Islamist dumpster fire of a country. (Or any former Russian soldier who've fought in Chechnya or Afghanistan back in their day).
(a). Child rape – rampant
(b). Abuse of own population – daily. They’re straight-up thugs. Antisocial meatheads with a holy book, drunk on power, and convinced of their moral superiority.
(c). None of them can actually string together a coherent sentence explaining their grievances – but they can all recite a few sentences they heard from an imam… mostly some variation of “Americans are dogs” (they really f-ing hate dogs).
(d). Ultimately, it’s a death cult. But very few of them actually want to die. Most join militia groups because it’s what passes as “cool” in their neighborhood. Sure, they’ll yell something about Allah… but mostly it’s a “I belong to a group that has guns, and guns are fun” type thing.
(e). When push comes to shove – some of them will fight in a suicidal manner. But, when their leadership is dead and the group cohesion is broken – a surprising number will want to surrender. The whole “martyrdom” thing is just an obscure aspiration that many learn that they didn’t really mean it when they signed up for it.
(f). The truly ideological ones are a whole different type of evil. It’s a special kind of evil – one convinced of its own righteousness. They really do use civilians as human shields – especially children. Why children? Because kids are innocent – thus, by sacrificing a child, a truly lunatic Jihadi is doing them a favor… he’s sending them straight to paradise. It’s a shortcut, really. Wrap your head around that one and then imagine staring this evil, bearder, toothless f-ing monster in the face and watching him grin as he explains why he just shot up a building full of school girls. And then imagine what it takes not to drag this creature outside, douse him in fuel, and light a match.
So, these are some general thoughts on war for those unfamiliar. Tomorrow, I will post a more technical “play-by-play” breakdown on urban combat tomorrow, analysis of IDF actions, etc.

Our 2 cats got fleas and parasites last October from being outside eating dead stuff which one of them won't stop doing. She got our whole house fleas including my two dogs plus I have a 2 year old. Now my wife and I have been battling health problems unknown since October and just figured out this week it's all being caused by worm parasites we got from the cats back in October. My wife, myself, and my toddler are all deworming and now I have to deworm the animals and then professionally scrub my house again to be safe.
My understanding is I have two options to break this cycle: 1. Deworm all animals every 3 months (plus ourselves per our doc) consistently and maintain a professional cleaning schedule 2-3× per year (I work crazy hours and my wife is overwhelmed with the 2 german Shepherds 2 cats and crazy toddler running around, it's a war on fur and mess constantly so would need to hire for this + med costs). OR 2. Find another home for the cats
Regarding option 1, sounds good but have to stay on top of it and it's more $$$ (just for us it costs about $200 to deworm plus its not the most comfortable thing, animals I'd imagine would maybe be another $100-$200 each time). Then cleaning service $450ish. So $800+ every 3 months for $3200/year. The main benefit here is keeping the cats and to be honest while I do care for them the dogs, my son, my wife, my job all come first and I feel like they are left with my emotional scraps.
Regarding option 2, lots of savings financially and less stress/cleaning/worrying about getting ill again. The big loss is obviously losing the cats that I've loved over the years.
My wife is leaning option 1 and me 2 (I think you can tell) Any 3rd options anyone can think of or which way you vote?

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Aladdin ‘19 HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Aladdin ‘92 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Alien HD/MA $4
Alien Covenant HD/MA $2.5
Alfred Hitchcock 4-Film Set Vol 1 4K/MA $18
Alfred Hitchcock 5-Film Set Vol 2 4K/MA $21
Alien 6-film Set HD/MA $16
Alita Battle Angel 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
All Eyez on Me HD/VU or IT $3
All is Lost HD/VU $3.5
All the Money in the World HD/MA $3.5
Allied HD/VU or IT $3.5
Almost Christmas HD/MA or IT $3
Amazing Spider-Man 2 HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
Amazing Spider-Man HD/MA $3.5 or SD/MA $1.5
American Assassin 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
American Hustle HD/MA $3.5
American Reunion HD/VU or IT $3
American Ultra HD/VU or IT $4
American Underdog 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Anatomy of a Murder 4K/MA $5
Anchorman 2 HD/VU or IT $2.5
Angel Has Fallen 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Angel Heart 4K/VU $5.5
Angel of Mine 4K/VU $5.5
Angry Birds Movie HD/MA $3.5
Anna Karenina HD/IT $3.5
Annie ‘14 HD/MA $3.5
Annihilation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Antebellum 4K/VU $5
Antlers HD/GP $3
Ant-Man & the Wasp HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Ant-Man HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Apache Junction HD/VU $3.5
Apollo 13 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Arctic HD/MA $4
Arrival HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Art of Self-Defense HD/MA $4
Ash vs Evil Dead S.3 HD/VU $5
Assassination Nation HD/MA $3.5
Assassin's Creed HD/MA $3
Assignment HD/VU $4
Atomic Blonde 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
August Osage County HD/VU $3
Avengers Age of Ultron HD/GP $3
Avengers Endgame HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Avengers Infinity War 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Baby Driver HD/MA $4
Backdraft 4K/IT $5.5
Bad Grandpa HD/VU or IT $2.5
Bad Words HD/MA or IT $3
Bandslam HD/VU $4
Bank Job HD/VU $3.5
Barb & Star go to Vista Del Mar HD/VU $4
Barbie & Her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure HD/IT $3.5
Bart Got a Room HD/VU $4
Battle Royale HD/VU $4.5
Battleship 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Baywatch HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Beauty & the Beast ‘17 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Beauty & the Beast ‘91 HD/GP $3
Bedknobs & Broomsticks HD/GP $3.5
Before I Fall HD/VU or IT $3.5
Begin Again HD/VU $3.5
Beiruit HD/MA $3.5
Belly 4K/VU $5.5
Ben-Hur ‘16 HD/VU $3.5
Between Worlds HD/VU $3.5
Big Hero 6 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Big Lebowski 4K/MA or IT $5.5
Big Short HD/VU $3.5
Big Wedding HD/VU or IT $3
Billy Elliot HD/MA or IT $4
Birdman HD/MA $4
Black & Blue HD/MA $4
Black Christmas '19 HD/MA $4.5
Black Panther 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Black Panther Wakanda Forever HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
BlackKklansman HD/MA $4.5
Blacklight HD/MA $4
Black Widow HD/GP $3
Blackhat HD/IT $3.5
Blair Witch Project ‘99 HD/VU $4
Bleeding Steel HD/VU $3.5
Blindspotting 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Blood Money ‘17 HD/VU $3.5
Blood Ties HD/VU $3.5
Blue Jasmine HD/MA $3.5
Blue Ruin HD/VU $4
Blues Brothers HD/MA $4 or 4K/IT $4.5
Bob's Burgers Movie HD/GP $3
Body Cam HD/VU $4
Bohemian Rhapsody 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Bombshell 4K/VU $5
Book Club HD/VU or IT $2.5
Book of Life HD/MA $3.5
Boss Baby HD/MA $2.5
Bourne Identity 4K/IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Bourne Legacy HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Bourne Supremacy HD/MA $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Bourne Ultimatum 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Boy ‘16 HD/IT $3.5
Boy & the World HD/IT $3.5
Boyhood HD/VU or IT $2.5
Braven HD/VU $4
Breakfast Club HD/MA or IT $4
Breakthrough HD/MA $3
Brian Banks HD/MA $3
Bridge of Spies HD/GP $3.5
Brothers Bloom HD/VU $4.5
Bumblebee 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Butler HD/VU $3
Cabin in the Woods HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Cake HD/MA $4
Call of Wild 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Calvary HD/MA $4
Candyman '20 4K/MA $6 or HD/MA $4.5
Candyman 3 HD/VU $4
Captain America Civil War HD/GP $2.5
Captain America First Avenger HD/GP $3.5
Captain America Winter Soldier HD/GP $3.5
Captain Marvel 4K/MA $4 or HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Captain Phillips HD/MA $3.5
Captain Underpants First Epic Movie HD/MA $2.5
Carol HD/VU $4
Cars 3 HD/GP $2.5
Casablanca 4K/MA $5.5
Case for Christ HD/MA or IT $2.5
Casper HD/IT $4
Celebrating Mickey HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Chaos Walking 4K/VU $5
Chappaquiddick HD/VU $4
Chasing Mavericks HD/MA $3.5
Chicago HD/VU $4
Child 44 HD/VU $4
Children ‘08 HD/VU $4
Christopher Robin HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Chronicles of Riddick HD/IT $4
Clerks 3 4K/VU $4.5
Clifford the Big Red Dog HD/VU $4
Cloverfield 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Coco HD/GP $2.5
Cold Pursuit 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Collection HD/VU $3.5
Collide ‘17 HD/VU or IT $2.5
Colma The Musical HD/VU $4
Colombiana (Unr) HD/MA $4
Colony 4K/VU $5
Come & Find Me HD/VU $4
Commuter 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Company of Heroes HD/MA $4
Conan the Barbarian ‘11 4K/VU $5
Conspirator HD/VU $4
Contraband HD/IT $3
Contractor HD/VU $4.5
Cooler HD/VU $4
Cool Hand Luke 4K/MA $5.5
Cooties HD/VU $4
Cotton Club Encore 4K/VU $5.5
Countdown ‘16 HD/VU $3.5
Courier 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Craft Legacy HD/MA $4.5
Criminal HD/VU or IT $3
Croods HD/VU $3.5
Cruella HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Crypto 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Daddy's Home HD/IT $2.5
Daddy's Home 2 HD/VU or IT $3
Damsel HD/VU $4.5
Dangerous 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Danny Collins HD/IT $3.5
Dark Crimes HD/VU $4
Darkest Minds HD/MA $4
Dark Places HD/VU $4
Dark Tower HD/MA $3.5
Darkest Hour ‘17 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes HD/MA $3.5
Deadpool 2 (w/Super Duper Cut) HD/MA $4
Deadpool HD/MA $2.5
Death of Me HD/VU $4
Death on the Nile HD/GP $3
Death Wish '18 HD/VU $3
Deepwater Horizon HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Deliver Us From Evil HD/MA $3.5
Dentist 2-Film Set HD/VU $7
Despicable Me 2 HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Despicable Me 3 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Despicable Me 4K/MA or IT $4.5
Detroit HD/MA $3.5
Devil Inside HD/VU $3.5
Devil's Due HD/MA $3.5
Die Hard HD/MA $3.5
Die Hard 5-film Set HD/MA $18
Die in a Gunfight 4K/VU $5
Dilemma HD/VU $3.5
Dirty Dancing 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Disney Animated Short Films Set HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Disneynature Monkey Kingdom HD/MA $3
Django Unchained HD/VU $3
Doctor Strange HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Doctor Strange Multiverse of Madness HD/GP $3
Dolittle HD/MA $3.5
Dom Hemingway HD/MA $3.5
Don Verdean HD/VU $4.5
Doorman HD/VU $3.5
Doors 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Downsizing HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
Downton Abbey A New Era HD/MA $4
Downton Abbey The Movie HD/MA $3.5
Draft Day HD/IT $3.5
Dragged Across Concrete HD/VU $3.5
Dragonslayer 4K/VU $5.5
Dream a Little Dream HD/VU $4
Dreamkatcher HD/VU $4
Dreamworks 10-Film HD/MA $25
Dredd 4K/VU $4 or HD/VU $2.5
Dying of the Light HD/VU $2.5
E.T. Extra Terrestrial 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Early Man 4K/VU $5.5
Earth Girls are Easy HD/VU $4
Eddie the Eagle HD/MA $4
Edge of Seventeen HD/IT $3
Edward Scissorhands HD/MA $3.5
El Chicano HD/MA $4
Elysium HD/MA $3.5
Emoji Movie HD/MA $3
Empire of Light HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Empire State HD/VU $3
Encanto 4K/GP $3.5
Enough Said HD/MA $3.5
Enter the Dragon 4K/MA $6
Epic HD/MA $3
Equalizer HD/MA $3.5
Equalizer 2 HD/MA $3.5
Escape From Planet Earth HD/VU $3
Eternals HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Everest HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Everything Must Go HD/VU $4
Evil Dead 2 HD/VU $3.5
Ex Machina HD/VU $3
Exodus Gods & Kings HD/MA $3.5
Expired 4K/VU $4.5
Fair Game (Dir) HD/VU $4
Fantastic Four ‘15 HD/MA $4
Fast & Furious 4 4K/MA $5
Fast & the Furious 8-film Set HD/MA $17.5
Fast & the Furious 9-film Set HD/MA $20
Fast Color 4K/VU $5.5
Fatale ‘20 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Fatherhood HD/MA $4
Fault in Our Stars HD/MA $3.5
Fear of Rain 4K/VU $5.5
Fences HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Ferdinand HD/MA $3.5
Field of Dreams 4K/MA or IT $5.5
Fifty Shades Darker (Unr) HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Fifty Shades Freed HD/MA $4
Fifty Shades of Grey (Unr) 4K/MA or IT $4
Finding Dory HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Finding Nemo HD/GP $3.5
Finest Hours HD/GP $3
Firm 4K/VU $6
First Man HD/MA $4
Flashback ‘20 HD/VU $4
Flight HD/VU or IT $3
Florence Foster Jenkins HD/VU or IT $3
Footloose ‘11 HD/IT $3
Forbidden Kingdom HD/VU $4.5
Ford v Ferrari HD/MA $4
Forest HD/IT $3.5
Forever My Girl HD/IT $3
Fortress HD/VU $3.5
Fortress Sniper's Eye HD/VU $3.5
Fox & the Hound 2 HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Foxcatcher HD/MA $4
Frank & Lola HD/VU or IT $3
Free Guy HD/GP $3
French Dispatch HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Friday the 13th 4K/VU $5.5
From Here to Eternity 4K/MA $5.5
Frozen (Sing-Along) HD/MA $2 or HD/GP $1.5
Frozen HD/GP $2
Frozen 2 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Frozen Ground ‘13 HD/VU $3.5
Fury HD/MA $3.5
Future World HD/VU $3.5
G.I. Joe Retaliation HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Gambit ‘12 HD/MA $4
Gambler HD/VU or IT $3
Gamer 4K/VU $5.5
Gemini Man 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Get Out 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Ghost in the Shell ‘17 HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Ghost in the Shell ‘95 4K/VU $5
Ghost Rider Spirit of Vengeance HD/MA $4
Ghost Team One HD/VU or IT $3.5
Ghostbusters ‘84 HD/MA $3.5
Ghostbusters (Thea & Ext) ‘16 HD/MA $3
Ghostbusters 2 HD/MA $3.5
Gifted HD/MA $3
Girl in Spider's Web HD/MA $4
Girl on Train HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Girl w/ All Gifts HD/VU $4
Giver HD/VU $3.5
Glass Castle 4K/VU $5.5
Glass HD/MA $4
God Bless The Broken Road HD/VU $3.5
God's Not Dead 2 HD/MA or IT $2.5
God's Not Dead 3 HD/MA $3
Gods of Egypt HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Gold ‘16 HD/VU $2.5
Good Dinosaur HD/GP $2.5
Good Kill HD/VU or IT $3.5
Grease 2 HD/VU $4
Great Wall 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Greatest Showman HD/MA $3.5
Green Book HD/MA $4
Grey HD/VU or IT $3
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 HD/GP $2
Guilt Trip HD/VU or IT $3
Gunman HD/MA or IT $3
Guns of Navarone 4K/MA $5.5
Hacksaw Ridge 4K/VU or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Halloween ‘18 HD/MA $3
Hammer of the Gods HD/VU $2
Hannibal S.1 HD/VU $5
Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters (Unr) HD/VU or IT $3
Hard Luck Love Song 4K/VU $5.5
Hard Target 2 HD/IT $1.5
Hardcore Henry HD/VU or IT $3.5
Hate U Give HD/MA $4
Hateful Eight HD/VU $3.5
Heat (Director's Cut) ‘95 4K/MA $5.5
Heaven is for Real HD/MA $3.5
Hercules ‘14 HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Here Comes the Boom HD/MA $3.5
Hereditary HD/VU $3.5
Hidden Figures HD/MA $3
High Note HD/MA $4
Highlander 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Hitchcock '12 HD/MA $4
Hitman Agent 47 HD/MA $3
Hitman's Bodyguard HD/VU $3.5
Hocus Pocus HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Home HD/MA $3
Home Again HD/MA $3
Home Alone 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Homefront HD/MA or IT $3
Homesman HD/VU $3
Honey 2 HD/VU $3
Hostiles 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Hotel Transylvania 3 HD/MA $3.5
Hot Fuzz HD/VU $4
Hotel Mumbai HD/MA $4
Hours ‘13 HD/VU $4
House of 1000 Corpses HD/VU $4
House of Gucci 4K/IT $5.5
House w/ a Clock in Its Walls sHD/MA $4
How to Train Your Dragon 2 HD/MA $2.5
Hugo HD/VU $3
Hunt for Red October 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Huntsman Winter's War (Ext) HD/MA $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
I Can Only Imagine HD/VU $3.5
I Feel Pretty HD/IT $2
Ides of March HD/MA $4
I Know What You Did Last Summer 4K/MA $5.5
Imitation Game HD/VU $3
In a Valley of Violence HD/MA or IT $3
In Secret ‘14 HD/VU $4.5
In the Blood HD/VU $4
Incredibles 2 HD/GP $3
Independence Day ‘96 HD/MA $4
Independence Day Resurgence HD/MA $2.5
Indiana Jones & the Raiders of the Lost Ark 4K/VU or IT $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom 4K/VU or IT $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Indignation HD/VU $4
Indivisible HD/MA $3.5
Inferno HD/MA $3
Initiation 4K/VU $5
Initiation HD/VU $3.5
Internship HD/MA $3
Interstellar 4K/VU or IT $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Interview HD/MA $3.5
Into the Woods HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Invisible Man '20 HD/MA $3.5
Invisible Man ‘33 HD/MA $3.5
Iron Man 3 HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Iron Man & Hulk Heroes United HD/GP $3.5
Iron Mask ‘19 HD/VU $4.5
It Follows HD/VU $3.5
It's a Wonderful Life HD/VU $3
Jack & Jill HD/MA $3.5
Jack Reacher 4K/IT $4.5
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit 4K/IT $4 or HD/VU $2.5
Jacob's Ladder HD/VU $4
Jane Got a Gun HD/VU $4
Jarhead 3 (Unr) HD/IT $2.5
Jason Bourne HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Jesus Music HD/VU $3.5
Jexi HD/VU $3.5
Jobs HD/MA or IT $3.5
Joe HD/VU $3.5
Joe Kidd HD/IT $4
John Wick 1 & 2 Bundle HD/VU $4
John Wick 3 Parabellum 4K/VU $4.5
John Wick Chapter 2 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
John Wick HD/VU $2 or 4K/IT $2.5
John Wick Trilogy (Parabellum 4K) HD/VU $9 or all HD/VU $8
Journey to the West Conquering the Demons HD/VU $3.5
Joy HD/MA $3
Judy 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Juliet, Naked 4K/VU $5.5
Jumanji Welcome To The Jungle HD/MA $2.5
Jungle Book ‘16 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Jungle Cruise HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Jurassic Park 3 HD/VU $3.5 or 4K/IT $4
Jurassic Park 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
Jurassic World 5-film Set HD/MA $14
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Jurassic World HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Justice ‘17 HD/VU or IT $3
Kama Sutra HD/VU $4
Kick-Ass 2 HD/MA $3.5
Kid ‘19 HD/VU $3.5
Kid Who Would Be King 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Kidnap HD/VU or IT $2.5
Kill Zone ‘05 HD/VU $4.5
Killer Elite HD/IT $3
Killing Gunther HD/VU $4
Kin ‘18 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
King Kong ‘05 4K/MA or IT $5 or HD/MA $3.5
King of Staten Island HD/MA $4
King's Man HD/GP $3.5
Kingsman The Golden Circle HD/MA $3
Kingsman The Secret Service HD/MA $3.5
Knives Out HD/VU $3.5
Knowing 4K/VU $5.5
La La Land HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Labor Day HD/VU or IT $3
Lady Macbeth HD/VU $4.5
Lady of the Manor 4K/VU $5
Lair of White Worm HD/VU $4.5
Lake Mungo HD/VU $4
Lara Croft Tomb Raider 4K/VU $5.5 or HD/VU $4
Last Dragon HD/MA $4.5
Last Duel HD/GP $3.5
Last Exorcism HD/VU $4
Last Knights HD/VU $3.5
Last Man ‘19 HD/VU $4
Last Stand HD/IT $2
Last Vegas HD/VU $3
Last Witch Hunter HD/VU $3 or 4K/IT $3.5
Lawrence of Arabia 4K/MA $5.5
Legend of Hercules 4K/IT $3
Legends of Oz Dorothy's Return HD/MA $3.5
Leprechaun 7-film Set HD/VU $12
Let's be Cops HD/MA $3.5
Let Him Go HD/MA $4
Let Me Explain HD/IT $2.5
Life ‘17 HD/MA $3.5
Life of Crime HD/VU $3.5
Life of Pi 4K/MA $5 or HD/MA or IT $3.5
Light of My Life HD/IT $3.5
Lightyear HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Like a Boss HD/VU $3.5
Lilo & Stitch 2 HD/MA $4 or HD/GP $3.5
Lion HD/VU $4
Lion King ‘19 4K/MA $4 or HD/GP $2
Lion King ‘94 4K/MA $5 or HD/GP $3
Little HD/MA $3.5
Little Mermaid ‘89 HD/MA $4
Live Free or Die Hard HD/MA $4
Locked Down 4K/MA $5.5
Logan HD/MA $3
Logan Lucky HD/MA $3.5 or /IT $4
Lone Ranger HD/MA $3.5 or HD/GP $3
Lone Survivor HD/VU $2.5
Longest Ride HD/MA $3
Longest Week HD/VU $3.5
Looper HD/MA $3.5
Lorax HD/MA or IT $3
Lord of War 4K/VU $5.5
Lords of Salem HD/VU $4
Lost World Jurassic Park HD/MA $3.5
Love & Mercy HD/VU $3.5
Love the Coopers HD/VU or IT $4
Love, Simon HD/MA $3.5
Loving HD/VU or IT $3.5
Luca HD/GP $3
Lucy 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Lyle, Lyle Crocodile HD/MA $4.5 or SD/MA $2
Madagascar 3 HD/MA $3
Maggie HD/VU $2.5
Magic Mike's Last Dance HD/MA $4.5
Magnificent Seven ‘16 HD/VU $3
Maleficent HD/MA $2.5 or HD/GP $2
Maleficent Mistress of Evil HD/GP $2.5
Man Who Fell To Earth ‘76 4K/VU $5
Man Who Shot Liberty Vance 4K/VU $5.5
Marauders HD/VU $3.5
Marksman HD/MA $4
Martian HD/MA $3.5
Mary Poppins ‘64 HD/MA $3.5 or ‘64 HD/GP $3
Mary Poppins Returns 4K/MA $4.5 or HD/GP $2.5
Mask of Zorro 4K/MA $6
Mauritanian 4K/IT $5
Max Steel HD/IT $3
Maze Runner HD/MA $3.5
McKenna Shoots for the Stars HD/IT $2
Meatballs HD/VU $4
Megan Leavey HD/VU or IT $3
Memory HD/MA $3.5
Men HD/VU $4
Men in Black 3 HD/MA $3
Men in Black 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
MI-5 Spooks '15 HD/VU $4
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts HD/GP $4.5
Mid-Century 4K/VU $5
Midnight in the Switchgrass 4K/VU $5 or HD/VU $3.5
Midsommar (CANADA) 4K/IT $3
Midway 4K/VU $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Mile 22 HD/IT $3
Million Dollar Arm HD/GP $2.5
MindGamers HD/MA or IT $3.5
Minions 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/VU $3
Miracles from Heaven HD/MA $3.5
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children HD/MA $3
Mission Impossible 3 4K/VU $5
Mission Impossible 6-film Set HD/VU $17
Mommy HD/VU $4
Moneyball HD/MA $3
Monster High Electrified HD/IT $2.5
Monster Hunter HD/MA $3.5
Money Monster HD/MA $3.5
Monster Trucks HD/VU $2.5 or 4K/IT $3
Monsters University HD/GP $3
Monuments Men HD/MA $3.5
Moon 4K/MA $5.5
Morbius HD/MA $4
Morgan HD/MA $4
Mortal Engines 4K/MA $5.5 or HD/MA $4
Mortal HD/VU $4
Mortal Instruments City of Bones HD/MA $3
Mortdecai HD/VU $3.5
Mother! HD/VU $2.5
Mountain Between Us HD/MA $2.5
Mr. Peabody & Sherman HD/MA $3
Mud HD/VU $2.5
Mulan 2 HD/GP $3
Mulan ‘20 4K/MA $4.5 or ‘20 HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5
Mummy ‘17 4K/MA or IT $4.5 or HD/MA $3
Mummy ‘99 HD/MA $3.5
Mummy 4-Film Set (Mummy 1-3, Scorpion King) HD/MA $12
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Zootopia HD/MA $3 or HD/GP $2.5

We killed Joseph Glass for the first time on August 18th, 1999.
I knew he was a strange case since day one. Never seen a guy so happy to die before. It was like we were doing him a favor. He refused the automatic appeal. He refused to be seen by a chaplain. He just wanted it over with. It had only taken a little over a year, and it was already time for him to make his appointment with God.
He freaked me out, just passing by his cell. He was like our very own Hannibal Lector, the way he just stood there in the back of his cell like he’d been waiting for you. The lights always burned out in any cell he was in, and maintenance had gotten tired of fixing them. Not that he seemed to mind in the slightest. The darkness seemed to swallow his top half, and all I could see were the whites of his beady little eyes poking out of all that black.
Billy drummed his baton against the bars. “Up and at ‘em, cowpoke,” he called in that mocking tone. “Time finally come for you to pay what you owe, you sick son of a—”
“Billy.” Warden Taft silenced him with a word. “If you can’t act like a professional, you’re going to have to sit this one out.”
Billy paused… and licked his chapped lips. “Naw,” he muttered. “This a show I can’t miss.”
Glass seemed to tick Billy off more than any prisoner before him. He liked ‘em to at least pretend to feel sorry for what they’ve done, or act scared of what’s coming to ‘em. This one didn’t even have the common decency to shed a tear. He was as stone-faced as a statue, even while being marched to the chair. Billy liked to joke sometimes that we ought to take the guy out back with some car batteries and really put the fear of God into him, get him to cut out that stoic act. I think he was only half-joking.
After what this guy did to those girls… well, Billy has a daughter, so I guess it struck a chord.
We all watched him fry. The warden, his closest men. The thin-faced man representing the Commissioner of Corrections. The prison physician. The families of those poor girls. It couldn’t have gone more by the book. Only oddity I’d noticed at the time was that the stench of death never quite left the clothes I’d worn that day.
And then the next morning, we came into work to see the whites of those beady little eyes staring at us from the darkness again. “Good morning, sirs,” he said, just as he did every morning, in that airy, hoarse little voice.
I’ll admit it. I dropped everything I was carrying, stumbled back, stammered like a confused child. Hell, I almost screamed. “You… you’re not… y-you’re supposed to be…”
“I don’t know what you mean, sir.” He leaned in like he was trying to stare a hole through my chest. His tone almost sounded disappointed. “You never came for me. You promised me that yesterday would be the end, sir, but you never came. I waited all night long. Why did you lie to me?”
Me and Taft looked at eachother. We both had the exact same question on our minds. If Glass was still alive… who the hell did we roll into the morgue last night?
“Jesus Christ.” Taft gagged when he pulled back the cadaver cover, stumbling away. “It’s Billy.”
I looked. I know I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help it. And I’ll be forever haunted by the sight of my friend lying there on his back, mouth agape and cloudy eyes staring into the ceiling, open wide as if he’d spent his last moments in a state of terror.
The public never found out what happened. The cover up story was that poor Billy had been taken by cardiac arrest. Internally? It was the scandal to end all scandals. Worst case of incompetence and negligence in history, they called it. They brought the hammer down on anyone even tangentially involved. Me and Taft were out on our ears, and they would’ve prosecuted us too, but that would’ve required admitting it ever happened.
But I just could never wrap my head around it. Of those dozens of witnesses, not a single person noticed we were strapping a guard to the chair, not an inmate? It was impossible to the point of absurdity. Glass had been the man in that chair. I’d never been more certain of anything in my life.
Some months later, I noticed power flickering off all over the city one evening. It was brief, so I thought nothing of it. At least until I got a call from a familiar number the very next morning. “I understand you were one of the staff who regularly worked with one Joseph Glass. We would like to consult with you about an… evolving situation.”
“Oh?”
“At 7 PM yesterday, we attempted the execution of Joseph Glass for the second time.” There was a long pause, and when the voice returned, the professionalism had melted away, replaced with a baffled anxiety. “And, well… it, uh, it didn’t… it didn’t work.”
I blinked. “It didn’t… what?”
There came a long sigh. “Perhaps… it’d be best if you saw for yourself.”
And just like that, me and Taft had our jobs back.
Officially, Joseph Glass had been successfully executed on August 18th, 1999. Unofficially, they’d tried again six months later, just to tie up loose ends. This time, he hadn’t even had the courtesy to pretend to die. He just sat there on the chair, motionless and unaffected, while the CO who’d flipped the switch suddenly seized up and began to convulse, screaming and gnashing and wailing as electricity seared him beneath his skin, clawing at his chest until his eyes popped in his skull and rolled down his face like melted candle wax. All around him, lights flickering, machines bursting from pressure, electrical panels vomiting arcs of static. It was a mess.
The feds were crawling all over this case now, from a department I’ve never heard of. Something about investigating ‘preternatural activity’. They told me Glass was refusing to speak with anybody but the CO’s who’d once cared for him. Being walked into that interrogation room almost made me feel like I, myself, was a convict being marched to his execution.
Glass was staring at me when I walked in, like he’d been sat there, motionless, waiting for me. I expected nothing less. I took a shuddering breath as I sat across from him. I’d sat across from serial killers and psychos before and showed no hint of fear. But how could I not, now, sitting across from a man who can kill people without touching them? “Glass.”
“Officer Mendez.” His tone betrayed no emotion. “I had thought you’d abandoned me.”
I winced. “No. No, Glass, I’d just been… temporarily relieved. It’s… good to see you again. Would you like a glass of water?” I offered it to him. He didn’t even look at it. His eyes just bored into mine, relentless. “I… I’m here to ask you a few questions.”
Silence.
“Okay. Um… Glass, I need to know… how you killed Billy and Cramer.”
“I didn’t,” he replied. “It did.”
“It?”
“The thing standing behind you.”
I didn’t bother to turn around. I had enough experience with prisoners trying to trick me into looking the other way while they pulled off some half-baked escape plan. “Glass, please, let’s take this seriously,” I replied. “I’ve always treated you with respect, haven’t I? You’ve never had any problems with me.”
“Actually, I do. I have a problem with all of you.”
“Oh?”
“You here all believe that… death is a punishment.” There was the first hint of emotion I’d ever heard in his voice. “It’s not. It’s freedom — the only freedom. You promised me that gift. You promised me you’d let me die. You’ve given it to so many other prisoners, while leaving me behind. With all of your machines and your science and your knowledge… surely you can find a way, if anyone.”
My throat felt suddenly dry. I had to take a sip of the water myself, and hoped it would quell my burning nerves. “I… we’re… we’re trying our best, Glass. But you have to work with us. It may help if you told us… what, exactly, is preventing us from executing you?”
He moved for the first time. Leaning in, so slow as to be almost imperceptible. “It won’t let me die.”
And that’s when I felt a hand settle on my shoulder from behind.
Everything stopped. My lungs stopped inflating. I swear, my heart stopped beating, and my blood froze in place in my veins, and it all felt so cold. I could see the hand in the corner of my eyes, long and veiny and black. I could feel the breath on the back of my neck.
I’d once mocked the way deers froze in headlights. Now I understood. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t blink, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t even take a single breath. Even as my lungs began to cry out for air, and my vision blurred, and my thoughts melded together. All I could see was Joseph’s eyes staring into mine. Those infinite fathoms of darkness, that stygian sea that swirled and stormed and thundered in the blackness of his iris, and the eyes of things waiting a million leagues below the waters.
And I would have suffocated there, too terrified to even breathe, if those agents in black had not called off the interrogation then and come storming into the room.
Later, they showed me the tapes from the security camera. There’d been nothing behind me. Nothing placing its thin hand upon my shoulder. Nothing at all.
On May 7th, 2001, Glass was set to be executed for the third time — via hanging, or so I heard — in some government blacksite somewhere, far from prying eyes.
While it was set to happen, me and Taft were sharing glasses of scotch in his office, nominally to celebrate. Really, because we were scared. Taft always struck me as young at heart despite his years, but this was the first time the warden had ever looked truly, properly old. He watched the yard below as he had a drink. “Did I ever tell you why I chose this line of work, Mendez?”
I shook my head, and he sighed. “Back in `63, they found a woman’s body in the back seat of a burnt out car, in some state park near my neighborhood. A prostitute. One of her johns had… chopped her up. Burned all the evidence. And you know what got me, Mendez? Nobody cared. Nobody bothered to investigate. Who will notice one less hooker on the corner of 5th Avenue, right?”
“It… didn’t sit right with me. The way I see it, Mendez, every life matters. Even the ones we try and cast aside. Everybody’s got people who love them, and childhood memories, and all that. Everybody deserves justice. No matter who they were.” He set down his glass and looked me in the eyes. “So I joined the force. Got the case reopened. Found the guy. And I watched him fry. And I like to imagine she was there watching, too, as he burned.”
There was a tense moment. And then a chuckle. “Course, after that bullet to the hip in `71, I couldn’t walk the beat anymore. But I’ve been just as happy here. Watching justice be served… it makes me feel like there’s some kind of karmic order to the world. Good deeds and bad deeds get repaid in kind.”
It was clear there was something lurking beneath his words, some unspoken thesis. Eventually, with old, wrinkled, tired eyes, he said it. “I’ve thought about it, and… if Glass doesn’t die tonight, I’m finally going to retire, Mendez,” he confessed. “After what he did to those girls, what kind of… what kind of order can there be in a world, where a monster like that is just… beyond justice?”
I was shocked. Warden Taft always struck me as an unmoving fixture. What would we do without him? “He’ll die, sir,” I promised. “It’ll work this time. It has to.”
But he seemed deeply uncertain. With one last shuddering drink, he leaned forward. “His eyes.” He stared at my expression, as if desperate for me to understand, for me to know. “Those things… in his eyes. Haven’t you seen them?”
And at that moment, Taft was yanked up out of his chair.
It was so sudden, so inexplicable, I could barely register what I was witnessing. Some unseen force lifted him two or three feet above the ground, dangling him there. He choked, coughed and sputtered, desperate to gasp down air which would not come, and clawed at something around his neck which I could not see. He was hanging, I realized. And with wide, horrified eyes — the same as Billy’s had been — he silently begged me for help.
I sprang from my chair and wrapped my arms around his dangling legs. At first I tried to pull him down to the floor, but I realized it was only tightening the invisible noose around his neck. Then I tried lifting him as high as I could, which gave him some relief, but not much. Tears rolled down his face as it swelled and turned blue, and even though I could not see the noose, I could see the bruised purple skin where it had squeezed around his neck. All the while, I screamed myself hoarse. “Help! Somebody, please! Jesus Christ, we need help in here!” But nobody came.
And all of a sudden, some unseen forced seemed to sweep my feet out from under me.
I dropped like a bag of bricks, but I was so startled I maintained my grip around the warden’s legs. I fell and yanked him down with me, and his body suddenly jolted with a sickening crack.
It took me a while to manage the courage to look up at him. His neck had been stretched far too long, and his head was bent to the side at almost a 90 degree angle. Eyes wide, round and bloated tongue hanging from dry lips. And then whatever force had suspended him disappeared, and his body fell upon me while I screamed and screamed.
I came bursting from his office to find my coworkers casually chatting and working just outside. Somehow, despite all my screaming and begging while Taft was dying, none of them had heard a thing.
I took a page from Taft. I wanted out. We were dealing with something unholy here, something whose tendrils could reach any distance, and my life — who knows, maybe even my soul — was at hazard. But the agents in the sharp suits made one thing clear: if I refused to cooperate, well, I would make the perfect scapegoat for the murder of Warden Taft.
I was marched into the interrogation room to find a Joseph Glass that had abandoned all pretense of humanity. His eyes had darkened to a pure black. Or perhaps he had no eyes at all, only windows into some place of outer darkness. I was shaking like a leaf as I sat in front of him, feeling more like a prisoner than he was.
“M-m-mister… Glass.” No reply. I shuddered, trying to focus on my little piece of paper to distract myself from the blackness of his eyes. “I… I-I have some… questions I’m supposed to ask you. Is… is that okay?”
Silence. I take a deep breath. “How… old are you, Glass?” I thought it was just one of those basic questions. Conversation starters, really. I couldn’t have prepared myself for his answer.
“I am old, child.” His voice was nothing like I remembered. It was deep and low and rumbling, like there were multiple people speaking in unison, and all were equally ancient. “Older than you could possibly know. Older than this nation, and older even than the empire that once bore it.”
I had to fight the basic animal instinct to flee. Focus on the questions, I thought. “Why did you do… what you did to those girls?”
“Just so I could feel something again,” he whispered. “Anything.”
“Did you not feel the slightest bit of… guilt? Remorse?”
“You ask that… of me? Me, who has watched empires rise and fall?” He almost sounded amused. “Does time feel remorse? For time has killed far more than I. But mankind is like the hydra. All I’ve killed will be replaced by, essentially, identical stock, and in greater numbers. And then they will die and be replaced. And so the cycle will continue forever.”
“Did you expect me to pity them for being given the death I, myself, covet? Only the dead are given leave of the cycle. It is a blessing.” And suddenly, he stood from his chair, as if he’d never been restrained at all. “A blessing you promised me, Officer Mendes.”
I stared up at him in disbelief. “What — how did you —“ But I couldn’t even stammer a sentence out before he was upon me, crawling over the table with the eerie grace of a spider.
These were no longer the imperceptible hints of emotions I’d come to expect. It was like a switch had been flipped. Tears streamed down his cheeks, snarling with genuine rage, hurt, betrayal. And beneath those black seas in his eyes, all the things that haunted the fathoms below were rising to the surface. “You owe me a death. Make good on your word. Pay your debt.”
I cried out and recoiled from his every touch with disgust, but he was stronger than he looked. I couldn’t worm my way out of his impossible grip. “I won’t! Get off of me, you sick bastard!”
“Do it! Pay me what you owe!” It was like a thousand different voices screaming in my ear. Straining and weeping, I locked my hands around his neck and pressed my thumbs against his throat, trying to strangle him. But instead, I could just feel that grip upon my own neck, squeezing the life out of myself as my lungs burned for air. Yet I kept pressing harder and harder, as if hoping I might somehow break through whatever unholy force was protecting him.
And then those terrible hands grasped my shoulders again, and I was paralyzed by a terror that could be called nothing but ancient and primal. Like the thing standing behind me was the same force that had kept my ancestors huddled terrified in their caves a hundred thousand years ago, and every one of those voices was crying out to me through my very blood. And it pulled me from my chair, threw me as though I were weightless… and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in the infirmary.
Once more, none of this was captured on the security camera. In the footage, I just enter the room and have a seat with strange, almost robotic movements. And then the both us just sit there, staring at eachother, without speaking, without moving, without blinking. For an hour.
After this, Joseph Glass entered a catatonic state, and from then on refused to converse with even me. Now that my usefulness had ended, the agents discarded me like yesterday’s trash. Don’t even seem to care if I tell anybody. Who would believe me?
I thought I’d gotten lucky. That my nightmare was over. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
Go sorting through any public records, and you won’t find a single mention of the name Joseph Glass. They’ve squirreled him away in that off-the-books blacksite and scrubbed away every other trace of him. I’d say he’d been unpersoned, if indeed he could ever be called a person at all. But they’re still trying every execution method in the book. I don’t know quite why. Maybe it’s for research. I’m sure the US military would love to find the secret to making its men as unkillable as Glass. And besides, they’re not the ones who have to deal with the consequences.
On June 3rd, 2005, they tried a firing squad. I know this because me and my wife were out on our second honeymoon, slow dancing by the lake at night to our favorite song, when I felt a wetness against my chest. I looked down to see her eyes as gray and dull as foggy glass, and her chest shredded to swiss cheese by rounds that made no sound.
On December 23rd, 2012, they tried lethal injection. That was the day they found my son’s car wrapped around a tree, and baffled coroners discovered that he was dead before the accident even occurred, his bloodstream polluted with Pavulon and potassium chloride.
It’s been years since I’ve isolated myself from everyone I knew, hermiting away in this cabin out in the middle of nowhere, and yet the stench of death still follows me. Just a couple years ago, I found a news report mentioning my nephew. Apparently, he’d been found completely exsanguinated, his veins emptied utterly despite no signs of a struggle. God knows what kind of arcane methods of execution they’re trying by now.
He’s not going to let me walk away from this. Not while I still owe him a debt.
But I’ve been doing some research, too. Research into those untold legions of things I witnessed staring up from that blackened sea in Glass’s eyes. I’ve learned things men were not meant to know. Practiced rites, assembled tools, ingredients. And I think I know where they’re keeping him. Even though they blindfolded me, I counted the second between every turn on our way to the blacksite, and I’ve since spent weeks watching the place, cataloging every entry point.
Maybe I’m slipping into madness. Or maybe I’ve truly found the way to put an end to the horror. To finally give this monster the justice that Taft would have wanted for him. Joseph Glass had been right about one, single thing: I have to pay what I owe.
Even if it kills me.

Obligatory English not my first language.
First hear me out, I know how it looks and if I sound aggressive towards certain characters but you will found out why. And in day in age were you have to walk on eggshells around women it really got to my nerves.
I work at an office of 4 people. Assistant (F middle 20s), Secretary (F60s), Boss (M70s) and "ME" (M early 40s). At the moment of ''the incident" only assistant and me were on our office. Then comes along Poop Lady (probably in her late 40s don't care really).
She works in a neighboring office in the same building but they weren't opened for business yet. Poop Lady comes asking to use the toilet. At that moment I was finishing using it and it wasn't working properly but did got a bucket and poured water down a few times and left it neat clean. We did warned her that its wasn't working properly but if she would take care of it go a head (showing her the bucket on my hand).
So she used the toilet and was taking more than usual we could hear her phone ringing a couple of times we think her coworkers had already arrived. She shamefully came out saying what everyone would expect. but instead of going for water on the bucket Poop Lady used every single cleaning product she could find and dumped all on the toilet. The mix of nasty odors and chemicals was disgusting and she said that she would run down her office for a plunger and fix it.
She did came back like an hour or so but didn't get anything just "flushed" to see what happened and of course nothing did. Then boss came in with a client and a business associate acquaintance of our office. He went for the bathroom but pretty much did a U-turn and asked me if I did that. TBH It didn't buttered me because it was an expected reaction, only guy on the office and all. But I did said out loud that it was Poop Lady next door so Boss could hear and "do something".
So at this time the pressure to do something was real. Assistant and secretary were complaining that Poop Lady left things unresolved to a point that assistant took matters in her hands and started cleaning how she could. So I asked our boss what will he do about it. Boss apparently just whattsaped on what was going on. And got a response that I was responsable about the toilet situation. Reddit this, THIS got to me and I raised my voice and pretty much cursed Poop Lady and other office personnel, I was livid, I wanted to se red, and because sort of relevant they are the kind that will abuse the kindness of Boss man and take advantage on asking for office favors (wont get in to details but to a point that if it were business related there would have been a split commission for both parties).
As a side note Boss man is my father and we have a strange relationship but that's a whole can of worms. That's why I could raise my voice to him and said that they were HIS friends not mine and I have been courteous and professional as of that moment. And I was going to their office and call out Poop Lady why blaming this on me. As I said not my friends and this kind of behavior was out of line.
So yeah I stormed to their office and yelled at Poop Lady of leaving the toilet like a truck stop WC. And we are not close or friends so she could make that sort of "joke" to pin that shit to me. I could see her discomfort, there were more office by standers (no clients so that's good lets keep it professional) and her Boss kicked me out basically banning me from his office for calling out a "lady" like that.
So yeah that's basically it, Poop Lady's boss is the kind of sleazy person that would sell her own mothers ashes. and the rest of the other office personnel are the kind that will ask for favors but never return them. They take advantage over my boss/father and well, if its work related he'll let it happen even if they walk over him. As I said other can of worms.
I don't feel so bad because basically I'm the hero of the women of my office (hey don't like them either). Boss man didn't stop me wen I told him what I was going to do. He could have but didn't, for what I could gather there were already tensions from the other office's boss and him. And as I was telling my story to my wife she pretty much said that she would rather die than to leave other people's toilet like that. So It gave me some sort of relief. But Reddit here's the thing. This was yesterday but I still have the adrenaline rush of it and cant seem to calm down and want to forget about it and move on.
Don't know if this is the kind of post that will have updates but if it happens I'll definitely will. Thanks in advance.
So AITAH?

Dear Blockies,
I wanted to create this thread as a safe space on BlockedByJax for discussion of The Valley, takes on it, reviews on it, non-snark/non-overlydramatic and honest critiques, assessment of production quality, entertainment value, etc. I know pm all of us vowed to not even hatewatch it, and agreed that the promos looked so cringe. So even tho I’d probably feel shady enough and downvote you in another thread for saying you like The Valley, I’ll upvote you here and look forward to hearing you say why you enjoy it. Almost as equally as I look forward to hearing why you hate it. 😂 Should i just stick to the clips and the main Bravo sub clips/snark or is the show a waste of time or not?
I’m still at that boycotting point we were at. I don’t believe in giving Jax, Brittany (and honestly MUCH moreso KKKristen Doute) a platform. Those three people deserve total anonymity. But I am open to the nuanced, trusted opinions of this sub (not being sarcastic). And since The Valley aired, I honestly have seen y’all gain empathy (like in a criminal psychology serial killer way that I approve of) for Jax and Brit, and more concern for their health of all things, surprisingly. And it’s making me wonder if:
a) the show is trying to produce a redemption arc for either or both of them (which I rebuke)
b) the producers lurk BlockedByJax and are ragebaiting us to our own delight and we are seeing them (specifically it seems Brittany) in a way the VPR producers refused to show.
c) we are seeing exponentially more candid, and therefore more harrowing Jax & Brittany moments, and all we’ve had to go on before to dissect their psyches and relationship were their curated social media content and podcasts.
d) the show has something else to offer other than watching this family slow kill themselves. hopefully entertainment value but I really still don’t see the draw (i.e. KKKristen, don’t know the rest of the cast. But I’m open to new ppl.)
So which is it? I ask because the past couple weeks in other Bravo subs, The Valley seems to be generating a LOT of discussion, the clips look captivatingly tragic, and it is topping Bravo news on the web. Seen many people saying they haven’t seen VPR or RHOBH but are loving it. Some even saying they’re enjoying it more than VPR. I’m so confused.
But also consider that your average Bravo watcher without internet doesn’t even know that/why StaSSi & KKKristen were fired, that they’re all on cocaine and molly, or that Brittany stalked Jax to become famous. And the same viewers then comment on her insta she’s too sweet for Jax and hashtagrelationshipgoals. So idk who to trust but you.
(And I slightly digress here, but I finished the last season of Tabatha Takes Over after they released it all on Peacock, so I am going through RTV withdrawals. But that show was so quaintly overscripted with unsuspecting nobodies that I didn’t need to do all the conspiracy theory, pre-req, deep-cut research that VPR & RHOBH require to truly enjoy. So cumbersome. I just love unscripted Mess (ex. RHOM, The Traitors) or obviously scripted human zoo side show exhibits (ex. Millionaire Matchmaker, The Bachelor). Yes I’ve got issues.)
Clearly a lot of cognitive dissonance in my head about this you can tell I’m conflicted about the valley and truly need BlockedByJax professional advice. Thank you Jax haters.
Signed, yours truly,
Pregnant Couch-Ridden RTV Junkie ISO a New RTV Crack Plug

My character had an itchy arm for a while that burst into bugs and then remained an itchy arm until I healed the thing by taking anti-fungal drugs, anti-parasitic drugs, antibiotics, and putting antiseptic on the arm all at the same time. Before that I had taken some anti-fungal drugs and used some antibiotics but nothing happened, because I know the fungal infection begins with itchy skin and thought this was similar. I've never seen something like this in the game. Were the bugs that burst out supposed to be a new mechanic about maggots or something, because the arm was injured before the itchy arm status started and I didn't immediately dress the wound and they didn't show up in the game at all when they busted out of the arm? I didn't bump into anything that could have caused something like this except maybe a giant scorpion I dissected which had worm parasites in it, but a text prompt said they all looked at my character for a bit and then scurried off so I don't think they infected my character with something.

As I was studying for the SHRM-CP exam, I came across several posts on here that were useful in helping me along the process, so I thought I would share some information on how I passed for future test takers. Please note that I did NOT purchase the SHRM Learning System. I studied by myself using free online resources and a few books I bought off Amazon. Prep/Study Time
I studied for about 4–5 weeks. On weekdays I studied between 1–3 hours per day, on the weekends I would do 4–6 hours per day, and during the last 7–10 days, I studied about 4–6 hours per day. Of course, I took a few nights off here and there as well. Keep in mind that you may need to study more or less given your work experience (I have a Master’s in I/O Psych and about 2 years of relevant work experience). To be honest, I wish I had started studying 2–3 weeks earlier. I would recommend giving yourself at least 1.5–2 months to prepare for this exam.
Resources:

1. SHRM BoCK — This is a free PDF that you can download off the SHRM website. I used this resource to guide my overall learning. I dissected the entire document and made flashcards on Quizlet for everything I did not know. In particular, I focused on the “key concepts” for each section and made sure I knew the definition of each term. There is also a glossary of terms and definitions at the end of the document, so I added all those terms into Quizlet as well. The glossary does not have every definition you will need to know, but it’s a good start. For the terms I could not find a definition for, I would either

A) Google it
B) see how the SHRM website defines it,
C) use one of my other resources to find a definition
D) go to Youtube to learn more.
2) SHRM-CP Exam by certexamdb Test Prep: You can find in here
I explored a few different practice exams, but this was by far the most useful. You cannot use this as your only resource, but it is a great start.
3) PHSPHR Professional in Human Resources Certification Study Guide by Anne Bogardus: You can actually find a PDF of this online for free. At some point throughout the study process (usually after a practice exam), you will likely realize that you need to go into more depth with certain concepts. This is where this study guide comes in. I didn’t read it word for word, but I spent a few hours skimming through it, went through some of the practice questions at the end of each chapter, and read in detail certain sections that I was weak on. This resource is very detailed but not too complicated which is great. I would highly recommend allocating 1–2 study days just for going through this resource. Keep in mind that it will provide you with more detail than you need, but you can just focus on the concepts that are relevant to the SHRM-CP.
4) SHRM-CP/SHRM-SCP Certification Practice Exams (All in One) by Kelly and Simon-Walters. About 10 days before my exam, I came across this resource which consisted of 500 questions that were broken down into each of the sections outlined in the SHRM BoCK. When I took the practice exam in the certexamdb Test Prep I scored terribly on the situational judgment questions. This book is GREAT for preparing you for those questions. Just keep in mind two things when using this resource:
It will consist of some questions with terms or concepts that you did not come across in any of the other resources — you can just ignore those (it’s extra information that you do not necessarily need), (2) the quick answer key has some inaccuracies (ignore it) but the answer key with detailed explanations is correct so make sure you use that when scoring yourself. Make sure you answer both the SHRM-CP and the SHRM-SCP questions (they are both relevant). This really helps with the situational judgment questions, but also with knowing how some of the terms and definitions apply in a real setting. When focusing on these questions, I realized that I had memorized some definitions, but I still didn’t know how to apply those concepts. This book helps with that.
5) Quizlet Flashcards created by other people — A lot of people have created quizlet sets (even from the Learning System) that they have uploaded. Those are free, so make sure you use them! Also, some people have even created practice sets for exam questions (which I think are from the learning system as well), so make sure you review those as well! Basic Study Tips: Unfortunately, without the Learning System, there is no single resource that you can use to prepare for this exam. Therefore, make sure you use a few resources just to make sure you get exposed to most of the material that will be on the exam. As you go through each resource, keep revising your flashcards and adding new ones. Make sure you periodically review flashcards as you go rather than waiting to cram everything in a week before the exam. When you go through practice questions, you will soon realize that you often need to know more than just the definition… you need to know when and how something applies as well. For example, you need to know what FMLA is, but you also need to know what the eligibility criteria is, when it is applicable, etc… I had one massive set of flashcards (about 500), and then I also had smaller sets of flashcards for some sections (e.g., a set for HR Laws, another set for Finance/Accounting terms). I would memorize using the smaller sets, but then I went through the giant set I had created a few days before my exam to make sure I knew everything. Do a ton of practice questions and understand why you got certain questions wrong.
6) SHRM LMS Books
Here’s a quick overview of the step-by-step process I took to study and prepare:

1. Go through SHRM-BoCK and create flashcards
2. Go through and memorize SHRM Learning System Flashcards (You can find these on Quizlet and search “SHRM Learning System”)
3. Take certexamdb Test Prep Practice Exam, review, and identify weak areas.
4. Go through the Bogardus PHSPHR book and focus on weak areas (fill in flashcards)
5. Memorize the newly created flashcards for weak areas, flag ones that you continually get wrong or confused with.
6. YouTube hazy concepts and terms to gain a richer understanding, use Khan Academy when applicable.
7. Retake certexamdb Practice Exam
8. Go through questions in the book by Kelly and Simon-Walters
9. Identify weak areas, read through explanations, create and memorize flash cards as needed
10. A few days before my exam, focus on my large stack of flashcards, go through other people’s flashcard sets, and go through practice exams on Quizlet.

Exam Experience and Takeaways
I finished the exam in a little over three hours. You get no breaks, but you can always take them as needed. Time is likely not going to be an issue. Here are some takeaways that I had about the exam: — There were surprisingly few questions on US Employment Laws & Regulations and Labor Unions. I spent a lot on these sections when studying, but there were not many questions at all on these topics. — The test questions were different than any of the practice exams I had taken (however you should be fine as long as you know the material) — The situational judgment questions can be exhausting with having to read 2–3 paragraphs for each 2–3 questions. — Make sure you carefully read the question. For example, you are often asked “what is the first step you would take” or “what strategy would you use.” These can be tricky, but they can also easily reveal the right answer. — No matter how hard you study, you will encounter a few questions where you come across terms that you’re unfamiliar with and you will have to guess blindly. Just try to eliminate what you do know is wrong and take your best guess. Don’t stress too much about it. — Use the highlight, strike through, and flagging options during the exam. It helps a lot. — Often, the correct answers for the situational judgment questions have something to do with (1) getting leadership buy-in, (2) having HR be a strategic partner, (3) making sure the action is aligned with the org’s mission and vision (4) HR being proactive, (5) doing a needs assessment of some sort, (6) having HR be some sort of facilitator.

Why Stay Updated on Amazon FBA Policies?

Compliance and Avoiding Penalties

Amazon, as one of the largest e-commerce platforms globally, operates under stringent policies and regulations. Non-compliance can result in penalties ranging from account suspension to permanent bans. Staying updated on Amazon FBA policies helps sellers adhere to guidelines, reducing the risk of penalties and maintaining a healthy seller account.

Maximizing Opportunities

Understanding and adapting to policy changes can provide a competitive edge. By staying informed, sellers can capitalize on new features, programs, or trends introduced by Amazon. This proactive approach enables sellers to optimize their strategies, enhance product visibility, and ultimately increase sales.

How to Stay Updated on Amazon FBA Policies and Regulations

1. Subscribe to Official Amazon Seller Communication Channels

Amazon regularly communicates policy updates and changes through official channels such as Seller Central, Seller Forums, and email newsletters. Subscribing to these channels ensures direct access to the latest information from Amazon itself.

2. Join Seller Communities and Forums

Engaging with fellow sellers in online communities and forums provides valuable insights and real-time updates on Amazon policies. Platforms like Reddit's FulfillmentByAmazon and Facebook groups dedicated to Amazon sellers facilitate discussions, knowledge sharing, and peer support.

3. Follow Industry Experts and Blogs

Leading industry experts and influencers often dissect Amazon's policy changes, offering analysis and interpretation. Following authoritative blogs, podcasts, and social media accounts specializing in e-commerce and Amazon FBA can provide nuanced perspectives and actionable advice.

4. Attend Webinars and Workshops

Webinars and workshops hosted by e-commerce professionals and organizations offer educational resources on navigating Amazon's ever-changing landscape. These sessions delve into specific policy updates, compliance strategies, and best practices tailored to Amazon sellers.

5. Utilize Amazon's Help Documentation

Amazon provides comprehensive help documentation and support resources covering various aspects of selling on their platform. Regularly consulting these resources, including the Seller University and Policy Help pages, ensures access to official guidelines and clarifications.

6. Hire Professional Services

For sellers seeking personalized guidance and support, hiring professional services specializing in Amazon FBA can be beneficial. Consultants, legal experts, and account managers offer tailored solutions, ensuring compliance with Amazon's policies while optimizing business performance.
Utilize Amazon Seller Tools
Helium 10 offers a comprehensive suite of tools designed to assist Amazon sellers in various aspects of their business, including staying updated on changes to Amazon FBA policies and regulations. With its powerful features and intuitive interface, it simplifies the process of monitoring and adapting to policy updates, ensuring sellers remain compliant and competitive in the ever-evolving e-commerce landscape.
One of the key features is its Policy Alerts tool. This tool allows sellers to set up customized alerts for specific policy changes or updates relevant to their business. By configuring alerts based on keywords or categories, sellers can receive real-time notifications whenever there is a policy modification or announcement on Amazon. This proactive approach enables sellers to stay ahead of the curve and take immediate action to adjust their strategies or operations accordingly.
Policy Checker is a tool that provides a comprehensive overview of Amazon's current policies and guidelines. Sellers can easily access up-to-date information on various topics, including product listing requirements, prohibited activities, and seller performance metrics. This centralized resource helps sellers ensure compliance with Amazon's policies while streamlining their workflow.
The Training and Education resources offer valuable insights into navigating Amazon's complex ecosystem. Through webinars, tutorials, and educational content, sellers can deepen their understanding of FBA policies and regulations, empowering them to make informed decisions and optimize their selling strategies.
Overall, H10 serves as an indispensable Amazon tool for sellers seeking to stay updated on changes to FBA policies and regulations. With its innovative features, comprehensive resources, and proactive alerts, the software equips sellers with the knowledge and tools needed to thrive in the competitive e-commerce landscape.

Conclusion

Staying updated on Amazon FBA policies and regulations is essential for sellers aiming to thrive in the competitive e-commerce landscape. By proactively seeking information through official channels, online communities, industry experts, educational resources, and professional services, sellers can navigate policy changes effectively, mitigate risks, and capitalize on opportunities for growth.
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Pediatric chiropractic care is a controversial topic within both medical and chiropractic communities. Here is a rebuttal to the practice of pediatric chiropractic care, highlighting concerns from a scientific, ethical, and business standpoint:

1. Lack of Scientific Evidence: The primary issue with pediatric chiropractic care is the lack of robust scientific evidence supporting its efficacy. Most claims made by pediatric chiropractors, such as treating colic, ear infections, asthma, and other common childhood ailments, are not backed by rigorous clinical trials. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and other medical organizations emphasize evidence-based practice, and current evidence does not support the effectiveness of chiropractic interventions for these conditions in children. 2. Potential Risks: Manipulative therapy, especially on children whose bones and joints are still developing, poses potential risks. There have been reports of serious adverse events, including nerve damage, vertebral artery dissection, and even stroke following chiropractic manipulation. The delicate nature of a child’s developing spine makes such procedures particularly risky and potentially harmful. 3. Ethical Concerns: The ethical implications of providing a treatment with unproven benefits and potential risks to a vulnerable population are significant. Pediatric chiropractors may exploit parents’ desire to find solutions for their children’s health issues by offering treatments that lack solid scientific backing. This can lead to unnecessary healthcare costs and may delay more effective, evidence-based medical treatments. 4. Misleading Information and Business Practices: Many pediatric chiropractors market their services by suggesting that spinal misalignments, or “subluxations,” cause a wide range of health problems. This concept is largely rejected by mainstream medicine. The notion that adjusting the spine can cure systemic health issues is not supported by scientific evidence and can mislead parents into believing that chiropractic care is a necessary or superior treatment. 5. Questionable Business Practices: Compounding these issues is the involvement of chiropractic business coaches who teach practitioners how to maximize profits, often at the expense of patient care. These coaches frequently promote the sale of prepaid packages and long-term treatment plans, encouraging chiropractors to secure financial commitments from families regardless of the actual medical necessity. This practice not only exploits parents’ concerns for their children’s health but also undermines trust in healthcare professionals by prioritizing profit over patient well-being. 6. Regulatory and Professional Concerns: Major health organizations, including the AAP and the American Medical Association (AMA), generally do not recommend chiropractic care for children due to the aforementioned reasons. The regulatory framework surrounding chiropractic care often lacks the stringent standards applied to medical doctors, leading to concerns about the qualifications and oversight of those providing pediatric chiropractic services. 7. Alternative Treatments: For many conditions that pediatric chiropractors claim to treat, there are effective, evidence-based medical treatments available. For example, ear infections are commonly treated with watchful waiting or antibiotics, depending on severity, and asthma is managed with a combination of lifestyle adjustments and medication. Turning to chiropractic care instead of these proven methods can result in suboptimal care for the child. 

In conclusion, while the desire to provide the best possible care for children is understandable, pediatric chiropractic care does not currently meet the standards of evidence-based medicine. The potential risks, lack of proven benefits, ethical concerns, and questionable business practices associated with treating children with chiropractic methods suggest that parents and healthcare providers should approach this practice with caution and prioritize treatments that have a solid foundation in scientific research.
Please share your experiences below.

"Provider"
Justine has all the unstable rage of Faith but with neither the charisma nor a valid beef with the main characters.
Angel's channeling S1 Cordy, the constantly talking about money. I guess the cost of living for just himself was pretty low, as he's not living. Pig's blood probably doesn't cost much since the butchers just throw it away otherwise.
Damn, Jeffrey Dean Morgan! I wasn't sure it was him at first, because I'm not used to seeing him clean-shaven. It almost seems wrong for him to play a character that isn't a badass.
Angel talks about Connor going to Notre Dame, class of 2020, but that would be the year he graduates high school. He'd be college class of 2024. ...Fuck. I'm glad the little bastard got aged up, so he'd be like 38 now. He deserves it.
The way Sam talks about his best friend, going to all this trouble for the watch, the first thing he ever bought him, makes me think they were lovers.
This zombie ex-boyfriend subplot isn't working for me.
I swear the way Gunn and Wes are acting around Fred is exactly the way I and two friends acted around a certain girl when we were like 14, plus or minus. ...One of us did date the girl, and it wasn't me.
Aw, so sweet, watching Cordy feed her future baby daddy.
"Doublemeat Palace"
In the cold open, Xander looks like he's reacting to the idea of spending the rest of his life with specifically Anya. As much as I think he doesn't want to be married, I think he wants to be married to Anya even less.
Ah, I remember the old-ass training videos to start working at a restaurant chain. I'm triggered.
I'm suddenly noticing the bright red lipstick Buffy's wearing to work in a fast food joint.
I'm pretty sure that anywhere in the country, they'd be legally required to clock Buffy in before making her watch the training video.
I just don't like mixing red meat with white meat. Bacon on a hamburger, fine, goes really well. But chicken and beef? Pass.
So much of the humor of this episode is in SMG's facial expressions.
Are Spike and Buffy dry-humping or what? That particular activity really should be renamed, BTW.
Halfrek is a classic passive-aggressive frenemy.
That was a jumpscare when the worm thing stuck its head back out of the grinder.
Amy's nasty.
Oh, Buffy. She should have just extorted them for a large amount of money. Bet she could have gotten six figures, maybe seven.
"Waiting in the Wings"
Don't know where anyone gets the idea that Angel and Cordy don't have chemistry. I mean, they're not Buffy and Faith, but got some sparks going. And I'm a fan of deep friendship as a foundation for romantic love.
Summer Glau's acting debut, pretty awesome.
I wish the ballet troupe was free to live their lives in the 21st century. It's thematically appropriate, though, that freeing them from Kurskov means only that they fade away; in Giselle, Giselle manages to break free of the Wilis through the power of her love for Albrecht, then bids him goodbye and returns to her grave to rest in peace.
Fucking Groo.
"Dead Things"
The closer I get to "Seeing Red", the less I want to keep going.
The first time I watched this, when Buffy said, "I think the New Kids on the Block posters are starting to date me," I was unfamiliar with that phrase and thought she meant she was going nuts and starting to imagine they were real.
"Willing sex slave." And none of the Trio sees the contradiction. To them, "consent" is just an obstacle that they've discovered can be overcome by magic.
Huh. Amelinda Smith, the actress who played Katrina used to be married to Ethan Embry, which made me do a double-take because when I looked up the actress who played Allison (zombie ex-boyfriend subplot in "Provider"), I saw that she is married to him now.
Smith had one uncredited role after Buffy, and that's it. I'm surprised by how brief her career was.
Xander and Dawn's dance practice for the wedding = practice for their eventual wedding.
The cerebral dampener lasts, what, an hour? Less? And on one charge. Pretty useless. Fortunately.
Warren has a REALLY hairy chest.
If Warren hadn't panicked he might have realized, what's Katrina gonna do, tell the cops that Warren brainwashed her with a flash of light?
You'd think Buffy and Spike would have realized Katrina's body was cold.
And Buffy somehow gets blindsided next episode by Dawn having abandonment issues. Her insistence on turning herself in isn't heroic. It's self-loathing. It's prioritizing her own feelings over Dawn being left with no family at not even 16.
"Older and Far Away"
Why anyone would think Buffy needs to be set up is beyond me. She's not a wallflower. She could find a boyfriend if she really wanted to.
Spike and Halfrek recognizing each other. Weird moment.
Not Dawnie's best episode.
"Couplet"
Also, the closer I get to "Sleep Tight", the less I want to keep going. They were really determined to ruin just, like, everything this year, huh?
I could do without Gunn and Fred staring sappily at each other. Now I had to look up "sappily" because Firefox says it isn't a word, but it is, so ha!
Angel's jealousy toward Groo reminds me of Buffy's reaction to Joyce and Hank bringing Dawn home from the hospital.
Was there any reason to cut Groo's hair beyond making him look more like Angel? He needed modern clothes, yes, but some men in L.A. have long hair. Maybe Mark Lutz requested it.
"Loyalty"
Wesley's being a dick, but Gunn doesn't have much of a leg to stand on considering he and Fred are just coming off a fuckup where they lost sight of someone they were supposed to be watching because they couldn't stop sucking face.
I know Sahjhan traveled through time to rewrite the prophecy, but how'd he get the talking hamburger to go along with it? It's not a very helpful source if all it does is tell you that whatever ancient prophecy you've read is true and you're an idiot for thinking otherwise, even if it's not true.
Refusing to make a distinction between Angel and Angelus is one way Xander pissed off a lot of viewers, and it's what Holtz is doing, though his irrationality is easier to understand. Also, he doesn't want to fuck someone who's in love with Angel. Still, he does a lot of fucked-up things and calls it justice. Jenny's uncle at least admitted that justice had nothing to do with their tribe's vendetta.
"As You Were"
I hate it when the recap spoils the episode, like making it blindingly obvious Riley's coming back, even though I'm past being spoiled. I mean, I could have been watching with a newbie.
Right before Sam shows up, Buffy and Riley spend a really long time looking at each other like they're about to fuck.
I feel like they're trying to do too much with Sam in one episode, having her quickly endear herself to each of the Scoobies in a way that doesn't feel organic.
Riley's reappearance was a good way to shake things up for Buffy so she'd stop hooking up with Spike.
The helicopter couldn't land to pick Riley and Sam up? Are they just gonna dangle from the line all the way to Nepal?
"Sleep Tight"
Wesley isn't talking to Fred or Gunn about the supposed prophecy because he's butthurt. That's pretty much it.
I think Holtz would have killed Justine if she hadn't mouthed the party line. He doesn't deserve the blind loyalty she gives him. He doesn't care about anyone or anything except his revenge.
I'm really looking forward to when Wesley gets to threaten to take away Justine's bucket.
Threatening to murder a baby...No, Holtz is a monster. And Justine witnesses this and is fine with it. She's a monster too.
You know, I read some of a fic once. I liked the concept, but it was just this awful mess of typos that made it borderline incomprehensible, so I gave up. Anyway, Buffy arrives for some reason during the standoff, and she rather than Holtz ends up falling through the portal with Connor. Connor being a few months old, he can't eat solid food (and he's shown in this episode to still be on formula), and Buffy manages to induce lactation in herself to feed him. WTF did Holtz do here in canon?
"Hell's Bells"
Holy shit. That guy playing Xander's dad, Casey Sander--he played Bernadette's dad on The Big Bang Theory.
Man, the way Willow and Tara are making eyes at each other while helping Anya with her dress, it's a wonder they wait another two episodes before jumping each other's bones.
It's nice how Buffy and Spike can kind of just be, the way they did before they started fucking.
That string quartet is REALLY bad at reading the room.
The lame attempts to entertain the guests are certainly the kind of things Buffy would do.
Xander sucks. This might be the worst thing he ever did. No one held a gun to his head. He proposed, completely unsolicited, and persisted even when Anya thought it wasn't sincere. He had every opportunity to speak up after that. He waited until the worst possible moment.
Stewart's plan never would have worked if it weren't for Xander's insecurities. What was he going to do if the groom wasn't secretly terrified of turning into his drunkard father?
"Normal Again"
I've repeatedly seen assertions that the other Scoobies didn't do anything for Anya in this time, therefore they're bad friends, but she just vanished. They don't know where she's gone. What exactly are they supposed to be doing?
It rings false, the way this "doctor" talks about Buffy like she isn't even there. I'm not a mental health professional, but it seems harmful.
I noticed some time ago that the nerds always call Buffy the Slayer, never by name. Makes it easier if she's less of a person to them. Jonathan might have used her name a couple of times, but not Warren or Andrew. It's all part of their twisted cosplay.
Dawn misunderstands what the hallucination is about. It's not Buffy's ideal world. That would be too suspect, too easy to reject. And what about having been in a mental institution from 15 to 21 is ideal? But it is a world that, in many ways, is easier. There's no one she has to take care of; instead, others are taking care of her. No bills to pay. She doesn't have to fight monsters to the death. Her mom's alive, and her dad actually loves her.
Here's where you see the great writing. In another show, the challenge would be getting the demon and making the antidote. Buffy's hallucination would just be something that happens while she waits, and in a good show, it would provide insight into the character. But in Buffy, she has to overcome the hallucination, because getting the antidote was the relatively easy part; she has to choose real life over something that tempts her away from it.
Spike knows exactly how to make everything worse. People usually jump to the attempted rape, but him giving her that speech and threatening to tell the Scoobies about Buffy fucking him was high-grade toxicity. The assault really was the culmination of it all.
Kill, kill, kill. Kill, Buffy. Kill everybody. You know you want to.
Jokes aside, prescribing murder is an interesting treatment plan, even supposedly fantasy murder. I mean, in that situation, would you want to set the precedent that the way to get rid of the world you've decided isn't real is by killing the people in it?
I had the idea that the speech that lifts Buffy up came from the real Joyce thanks to TPTB, but the part where she talks like Hank's NOT a deadbeat...nah.
Circling back to the great writing, we don't see the part where Buffy takes the antidote. That part is irrelevant; she's already rejected the hallucination.
Joss Whedon on reality versus fantasy: "If [viewers] decide that the entire thing is all playing out in some crazy person's head, well, the joke of the thing to us was it is, and that crazy person is me."
Marti Noxon: "It was a fake out; we were having some fun with the audience. I don't want to denigrate what the whole show has meant. If Buffy's not empowered then what are we saying? If Buffy's crazy, then there is no girl power; it's all fantasy. And really the whole show stands for the opposite of that, which is that it isn't just a fantasy. There should be girls that can kick ass. So I'd be really sad if we made that statement at the end. That's why it's just somewhere in the middle saying 'Wouldn't it be funny if...?' or 'Wouldn't this be sad or tragic if...?' In my feeling, and I believe in Joss' as well that's not the reality of the show. It was just a tease and a trick."

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