So it's a little jank, but I've been working on this for a while. I'm sure it's not gonna be super powerful, but it will be fun and functional, and if nothing else, it will teach my brother and his friend to run more removal 😆 It's the most fun I've had theorycrafting for EDH, that's for sure!
https://www.moxfield.com/decks/nonfLH1DvEaR32Vk_RVnZw
In the command zone it's basic utility and thematic fun, [[The second doctor]] and [[susan foreman]], group hug card draw and a mana dork. I can just see them preparing for a ritual to summon Cthulhu together 😆
The gimmick is [[dark depths]] and [[solemnity]] is the main cheat. If, for some reason, solemnity can't happen, then [[thespian's stage]] to copy depths is the first cheat, and [[echoing deeps]] to copy thespians stage to copy depths is another.
Along with that is a snow theme, mostly included to search, scry, and draw my way to what I need.
The removal is mostly combat trick stuff to make sure nobody gets wise and starts attacking the group hugger 😂 [[aetherize]], [[settle the wreckage]], and yes, I'm including my [[cyclonic rift]], cause I think this deck is gonna need all the support it can get lol. Noncreature removal is sprinkled in though.
Then there's the pillowfort/stax component. Hitting a couple of pillow fort pieces with [[doppelgang]] sounds delightful 😂 and so does using any of the creature copy spells on [[windborn muse]]. I also included [[kwain]] and [[gluntch]] cause they're pretty inexpensive and who doesn't love group hug? lol
Really though, I want to know, are there any other shenanigans you can think of that you might include? I don't love counterspell style, but I'm not against adding one or two just for protection and I own some good options. This deck isn't trying to take over the world, but I want it to at least work at an average casual table.
Thanks in advance! This is my favorite commander building project I've taken on yet, so I appreciate it! 🙂

i’m wondering if there are any other double winners (aa & alanon) people in this group who have experience with active alcoholic family members who don’t support your own recovery? i’ve been having some issues with my parents, who are quite high functioning but daily drinkers, making comments like “oh you’re still not drinking? really?” or “you really won’t split a bottle with us?” i’ve been trying not to let it bother me and luckily i live in a different state, but i have a few big family events coming up where i suspect these questions are going to continue, and with special events often ensuing in chaos with my family, i don’t want to feel so stressed it makes me drink. i also know i can’t make them understand why i’m in recovery because they haven’t reached that understanding for themselves (and might never). how do you walk the line between protecting your own sanity and being honest about your need to stay sober while not going crazy trying to convince your alcoholic family members to see your side?

So I’ve read and re-read all the train-related expansion FFFs, and I’m wondering what’s still missing to be able to have LTN in vanilla. I’m not familiar with Cybersyn but I’m interested in that as well!

Basic LTN-like setup: works!

Fill and then empty trains entirely. All solid and fluid trains are the same and pulled from depots, respectively.

Stations

• Provider: set train limit to $items_in_chests / ($train_length * 40 * $stack_size), all provider stations named (literally) PICKUP. This sets the train limit to X if enough items are in the chests to fill X trains.
• Depot: Just put random stations anywhere and call them depot
• Requester: call them $item dropoff, done

Train schedule

1. Go to PICKUP, wait until full
2. Interrupts
   • With $item in wagon, go to $item dropoff, wait until empty
   • Nowhere to go? Go to depot. (Allows depot bypass like Cybersyn, an upgrade over LTN)
   • Low fuel? Go to refuel

Different train networks?

This is super cool, just create a different train group. Different lengths? Different wagon/locomotive configuration? Different train group! Maintainable, no more bitmasks.

Advanced functions: how?

So far, so good! But how do we…

Fill trains only 50%?

In LTN, I prefer to avoid provide thresholds, and let the requesters decide what they want. With 2.0 trains, only the provider can decide when to set the train limit. (Circuits are an option, but we only have red/green, scaling that is very cumbersome.)
I use this in my SE run, but in 2.0 you might want to send trains of rare materials like e.g. legendary gears before you have 4 full wagons of them.

Do mixed dropoffs?

The generic interrupt is triggered only for the first cargo item so e.g. the train goes to gear dropoff, it can’t go to gear-and-steel dropoff. I use this for building the mall in my megabases, with 6 items being dropped on each station feeding the mall.

Provider station naming?

It’s pretty useful to have names on stations on the map. With the new scheduling system based on train stop names, how can I name a stop iron plate provider or upgrade this? The names are tied to the schedules now.

Hey Everyone! We just made a new release! Please find release notes below:
🚀 Improvements

• Custom report enhancements.
• Upon clicking bars in the graph, the app will navigate to the transactions list with appropriate filters applied.
• Added daily and weekly intervals to custom reports.
• Transactions page updates:
  • Ability to create a rule from split transactions.
  • Option to disable reconciliation when importing OFX and CSV files.
• Budget table updates:
  • Click on any actual amount to view the transactions that make up that actual.
  • Budget groups can now be collapsed in the budget table.
  • Balances are now shown in category autocompletes.
• Improvements to the Reports overview page, including clearer chart titles.
• Budget vs Actual reports now have color-coded amounts for better clarity when the number is zero.
• Updated frequency labels in the planning/budget template for better understanding:
  • Bi-Weekly: Every two weeks
  • Semi-Monthly: Twice a month
  • Bi-Monthly: Every two months
  • Semi-Annually: Twice a year

🐛🛠 Bug Fixes

• Fixed various bugs and stability issues.
• Resolved issues in the demo warning modal:
  • Budget not resetting after the time limit.
  • Broken button visuals.
• Enhanced the tracking view with spacing changes and added a new row for “NET” for added clarity.
• The budgets file list view now shows when the budget file was created.
• Improved drag and drop functionality to prevent mixed-up order instances.

📱 Mobile Updates

• Budget quick-fillers (such as copy last 3 months average) are now available on mobile.
• Reports can now be accessed on mobile devices.
• Enhanced mobile usability and UX.

Enjoy the updates! ✨

Hello everybody! I (26F) am new to this group (but unfortunately not new to kidney stones). My CT scan came back today and they have found not 1, not 2, but 7 stones in my left kidney which would explain the left flank pain ive had for the past few months. This being said, I have had kidney stones since I was younger but I feel like I have never passed one nor have I ever seen one come out. I have never felt the excrutiating pain everyone talks about, only the annoying left flank pain that irritates me, its a dull stab feel. But I am however able to work, go to school, walk, etc. with this pain. I am just wondering if 1. anyone has experienced the "no pain" part and still passed one and 2. with 7 stones ahead of me, what should I do to speed up the process? I am a full time student / full time healthcare worker so taking time off to figure these out, let alone a surgery, would really not be ideal. The report says 6 are small in the midpole of my left kidney while 1 of them is in the top of the kidney lining (this one I am aware of, doctor said it'd be more harmful to get it out than it is to leave it? idk). I am concerned bc the report has indicated scarring and I realize this has the potential to mess with kidney function as time goes on. Anyways, any help would be super super appreciated.
TLDR: I have 7 kidney stones, how can i pass them ASAP and what am I to expect when I pass them?

After Iyo Sky lost to Lyra Valkyria last night (when she should've won the whole tournament tbh), it's become clear that WWE doesn't really have a clear direction for Damage CTRL. I find this unfortunate after the match that Bayley and Iyo put on at this last Wrestlemania. Iyo Sky is incredibly talented, Kairi Sane is well-liked, and Dakota Kai is an amazing mouthpiece. In theory, this group should be on top, but they've been handled poorly.
Iyo Sky was champion for 8 months. In that time, she had 3 PLE defenses: One against Bianca Belair in Saudi (which was used to bring back Kairi Sane), one against Asuka and Charlotte at Fastlane (her only admirable win as champion, even though she also got help from Bayley), and the one against Bayley at Wrestlemania. In 8 months, Iyo Sky had a pretty mediocre reign with matches that didn't have much buildup. This is to no fault of her own, but because for pretty much the duration of her reign, she was not the focus, rather it was Damage CTRL and more importantly Bayley.
A common opinion in the comments of my last post was that The Kabuki Warriors being tag champs was good because they have an established name and gimmick, and that it would make Damage CTRL as a whole look like a strong faction. This would've been true... if the focus was on their championships and not so much around Bayley. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Bayley-Iyo rivalry, but having The Kabuki Warriors as champions was unnecessary to all of it.
Did those championships elevate The Kabuki Warriors? I would argue no. During the rivalry, they felt second to Iyo Sky and Bayley. Similar to Iyo, they only had 2 PLE defenses: One at Elimination Chamber (during the pre-show...) and one at Backlash, where they lost so Jade Cargill could look good. I don't know who Bayley will be feuding with, but it clearly won't be Damage CTRL anymore since they're on RAW, so who knows where they go from here? Case in point, I think Katana Chance and Kayden Carter were buried by losing to The Kabuki Warriors who really got nothing out of the titles.
Now that Asuka is injured, what's left for Damage CTRL? 6 months ago at Survivor Series, they were one of the most dominant women's factions of all time if not THE most. Nowadays, we don't even know if they'll be on RAW next week. I'm not saying they're quite buried yet, but they're on the way.
Kairi Sane has gotten nothing from Damage CTRL. She returned in Saudi to basically no reaction, had us thinking we were gonna get a heated rivalry with Bayley as she sought revenge only for her to say "Bayley, I forgive you" and leave it at that, became a tag champion and did nothing with it, lost the titles, and has probably spoken less words since her return than what's in this post.
Dakota Kai doesn't need Damage CTRL nearly as much as they need her. She's a great talker and wrestler, and potentially main event talent. She basically was sentenced to playing cheerleader for a few months and still is, just not out of action. Who knows where she's headed right now.
For Iyo Sky, now that she's not winning QOTR, she also has no clear direction. She can't really get involved with the women's title scene since that's currently occupied by Becky, Liv, Lyra (who's kinda poised to win the tournament now), and Rhea in the next few months. After an 8 month title reign, I was just hoping for a little more.
I hate to say it, and this may be unpopular, but it may be time to break up Damage CTRL. There isn't enough of a competitive scene as far as women's factions for the members to benefit from its existence. Even if The Kabuki Warriors win the tag titles again (which I wouldn't be totally opposed to DEPENDING on how they handle it), Iyo and Dakota get absolutely nothing from this, and I think Kairi and Asuka can function without Dakota (unless Dakota wants to stick around? At that point just at least let Iyo leave lol). Bayley was the heart of Damage CTRL and I don't think they can go on without her. Do you agree? Is this the time?

Good morning sisters and brothers, fellow Saints of our aspirational Zion. I was asked to speak and allowed to decide what the topic would be. After a lot of consideration I felt inspired to speak about being Actively Engaged in a Good Cause and how that relates to the full name of the church.
I was glad when President Nelson decided to put more emphasis on the full name of the church. Not that I mind using the term Mormon, but because I do find the full name of the church to be significant. When the church was organized in 1830 it was called the Church of Christ. In 1834 the members voted to change the name of the church to the Church of the Latter-day Saints. Then in 1838 Joseph had a revelation for the name to be The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While this effectively combined the two previous names, it also highlights something that I think most people overlook. Namely that the church is not only Jesus’s church, but that the church also belongs to us, the Latter-day Saints. We too have ownership of the church. While this may sound strange at first, it actually also fits very well with another concept that Joseph Smith taught: Theodemocracy.
Joseph spoke of this most actively the year before his death when running for President of the United States and when the Council of Fifty was created. The idea also holds in it that while God is in charge, we also have ownership and must have a say, actively vote, propose new ideas, and generally be actively engaged in moving things forward. It is not a theocracy with a fake voting system attached like that of North Korea. However, we have largely seen our own tradition move from one in which we do things by common consent including adding to our canon or as in 1834 voting to change the name of the church, towards something much more akin to voting in North Korea. This has coincided with other shifts in which we have taken less and less ownership of our church and as a result failed to properly sustain and support our leaders.
It is unfair to our leaders for us to sit back and wait for them to do frankly most of the heavy lifting when it comes to the running and functioning of our church, stake, and ward. In the past when I’ve been in callings that required me to be overseeing the assignments of home teaching or really any other church assignments, my experience has been that occasionally some inspiration will strike for some of the assignments, but that for the majority, I felt like I was left to figure out myself what assignments seemed to make the most sense. I know that many leaders that I have spoken to on this topic have also had such experiences. When we as members speak with our leaders, share information with them, it makes it much easier to make the best decisions. Without that feedback much more is left to guesswork.
We need to support and sustain our leaders, but this becomes difficult or challenging if we bring some assumptions to the table when considering how we do this. A major one as I see it is when we put too much trust in the arm of the flesh and grant our leaders infallibility or the lesser but largely equivalent functional infallibility.
As the saying goes: “Catholics say that the Pope is infallible, but none of them believe it. Mormons say that the Prophet is fallible, but none of them believe it.” Brigham Young recognized the potential for harm in this setting and said:
"I am fearful [the Saints will] settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation, and weaken the influence they could give to their leaders, did they know for themselves, by the revelations of Jesus, that they are led in the right way.” – Brigham Young 1862 General Conference (quoted in General Conference of the church in 1963 and in 1989)
And this one is also important:
"And none are required to tamely and blindly submit to a man because he has a portion of the priesthood. We have heard men who hold the priesthood remark, that they would do anything they were told to do by those who presided over them, if they knew it was wrong; but such obedience as this is worse than folly to us; it is slavery in the extreme; and the man who would thus willingly degrade himself should not claim a rank among intelligent beings, until he turns from his folly. A man of God… would despise the idea. Others, in the extreme exercise of their almighty authority have taught that such obedience was necessary, and that no matter what the saints were told to do by their presidents, they should do it without asking any questions. When Elders of Israel will so far indulge in these extreme notions of obedience as to teach them to the people, it is generally because they have it in their minds to do wrong themselves.” – Millennial Star, vol.14 #38, pp. 593-95
Yet does this functionally happen in the church? Do we follow this council to find out for ourselves instead of simply assuming everything from our leaders is divine? Apostle Charles W. Penrose, who would later serve as counselor to President Smith, declared:
"President Wilford Woodruff is a man of wisdom and experience, and we respect him, but we do not believe his personal views or utterances are revelations from God; and when ‘Thus saith the Lord’, comes from him, the saints investigate it: they do not shut their eyes and take it down like a pill.” – Millennial Star 54:191
Do we do this? When the prophet says “Thus saith the Lord” do we take the time to investigate it? Do we remember President Kimball’s reaction to Elder Benson’s talk on the “14 fundamentals of following the prophet”?
"Spencer felt concern about the talk, wanting to protect the Church against being misunderstood as espousing ultraconservative politics or an unthinking “follow the leader” mentality. The First Presidency again called Elder Benson in to discuss what he had said and asked him to make explanation to the full Quorum of the Twelve and other General Authorities… A First Presidency spokesman Don LeFevre reiterated to the press the day after the speech that it is “simply not true” that the Church President’s “word is law on all issues—including politics.” – Lengthen Your Stride – Working Draft, by Edward Kimball
I’ve had the opportunity to know some great Mormons who do take this approach, but I’ve also known many who treat quotes from church leaders like downloaded messages from God (no human filters involved).
If we can believe that God is capable of inspiring our leaders, surely we can believe God is capable of letting us know when they’re wrong. If instead we assume that their judgment is always superior to our own, perhaps we’re helping to put up a massive iron gate.
"How often has the Holy Spirit tried to tell us something we needed to know but couldn’t get past the massive iron gate of what we thought we already knew?" – Dieter Uchtdorf 2012 Worldwide Leadership Training
Moses once opined “Would that all the Lord's people were prophets, that the Lord would put his Spirit on them!” We have all been confirmed members of the church and in that confirmation told to receive the Holy Ghost. It is easy to forget that when the spirit tells us something, that is a member of the Godhead speaking to us. If we can believe that God can give guidance to our leaders surely we can also believe God can give us guidance.
Another important and often overlooked point is the context to this oft quoted verse:
"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion." -D&C 121:39
This statement wasn’t given in a vacuum. It is in the middle of a long discussion of priesthood and priesthood authority. This is talking specifically about priesthood leaders. When we read that “many are called but few are chosen,” we’re reading that many priesthood leaders abuse their power and only few truly honor it. The saints in Joseph’s day understood this. I think we’ve sanitized it over the years to make it seem like an aside, an intermission on the discussion of priesthood. This statement is as true now as ever. This verse, with its proper context, needs to be a lesson for us as members. We need to sustain and support our leaders. This doesn’t mean following them blindly. This doesn’t mean we must become “yes-men” to them. This does mean pray for them to be chosen instead of just called. This does mean to influence our leaders to do God’s will. Remember, one of Brigham’s concerns about us acting as if all our leaders decisions were divine is that it will “weaken the influence [we] could give to [our] leaders.”
What questions our church leaders will take to the Lord are impacted by our own openness to those things. In 1977 President Kimball expressed concern that if the Race-ban on priesthood was removed that there would be pushback from members in the American South and from some in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. When President Hinckley was asked in an interview about the Gender-ban on priesthood his response was that “there’s no agitation for it.” Until we better engage in our own history and understand how we got to where we are now it will be very difficult if not impossible for us as members to be prepared for the removal of the current gender-ban on priesthood.
Sometimes we might justify our own spiritual laziness by saying that while our leaders are fallible that God will never let them lead us astray, granting them a sort of functional infallibility. Nevermind that this was first said when my 3rd-great-grandpa President Woodruff was trying to convince members not to leave over the Manifesto. Nevermind that it means that we’re denying our leaders their agency by assuming that God removes their ability to make mistakes in their callings. Maybe some make such a statement more nuanced. Maybe they think that our leaders can make mistakes, but they won’t be majosignificant mistakes. Well, what is and isn’t significant depends a lot on who you are and how you’re being affected by it. I’m thinking that the women and children who were slaughtered in prophet-sanctioned genocide in the Bible considered that a significant mistake. I’m thinking that the thousands denied temple blessings their entire lives because of the color of their skin might consider that significant.
Let’s just recognize that few are chosen and that we need to give our leaders constructive/interactive support. We place a lot of responsibility on our leaders and they are very likely to make mistakes. Because they are human and doing their best, but as humans we all err from time to time. Recognizing the mistakes of our leaders is essential to giving them true support; it is vital to sustaining them. I would hope that we would avoid enabling or cheerleading bad decisions that friends or family are about to make. Pointing out why a decision will be or was problematic is what we expect of people who we truly love and support us, because it helps us to avoid pain and pitfalls and enables us to be our best.
Here’s a story from our little section of Salt Lake City in which members recognized the potential for mistakes and took ownership of our church. On August 23rd, 1896 Stake President Angus M. Cannon proposed a man to be the bishop of a new ward which was to be divided from the Sugar House Ward. The congregation voted against the proposed new bishop. President Angus M. Cannon then purportedly shouted "Sit down! and shut your mouths, you have no right to speak!" When Cannon engaged in a shouting match with the dissenting congregation, a ward member and policeman threatened to arrest the stake president for disturbing the peace. President Cannon more calmly repeated his attempt but was voted down "again several times." The Secretary of the First Council of the Seventy was in attendance and wrote in his journal: "I have been taught that the appointing power comes from the priesthood and the sustaining power from the people and that they have the right of sustaining or not sustaining appointees.
When it comes to being actively engaged in church endeavors our neighborhood and the general Sugar House area has done a lot. The "stake missionary program" began in the Granite Stake under President Frank Taylor in the early 1900s. It was an idea presented to President Taylor who then prayerfully considered trying it out as a stake. It proved successful and was later picked up by the General Authorities who made it a church-wide program.
The seminary program was also started in our stake after Joseph Merrill (a newly called member of the Granite Stake Presidency) felt inspired to start it and worked out agreements with the school board and got it going at the very new (at the time) Granite High School.
Also, in 1909 the Granite Stake started a monthly family home evening program. After counseling with many sisters and brothers in the stake, the Stake Presidency asked each family to spend Tuesday evening home together. All of these were local things which were eventually picked up and run at the church-wide level. We have a history in our area of being anxiously engaged and pioneering with new ideas.
While those are all instances of members, wards, and stakes starting programs for good causes in our area of Salt Lake City, they are just a few examples of Saints starting inspired efforts which were eventually accepted and promoted by the top church leaders. The relief society started when women in Nauvoo came together to do some good. The Primary program, Sunday school, Mutual Improvement Association, welfare/farming, organized genealogy efforts, and Young Adult programs all also started as members and local leaders were anxiously engaged and thereby gave influence to the top church leaders.
So as we consider how we can more actively engage in the church and look at what we can do now that would help to further the kingdom of God, I’d like to share a few things that have been on my mind which I feel would be steps which we can do now and which doesn’t require any new doctrines, revelations, or organizational adjustments from our leadership.

1. Give leaders their agency and remove the false idol of functional infallibility

I’ve already said a lot about this. The only thing I’ll add is to encourage everyone to read and learn about our history. The church history department has been putting out a lot of new, well-researched material, and there is a very high chance that it will be different than how you learned about things over the last several decades. Interestingly, most historically thorny topics become vastly easier to deal with when we stop denying leaders agency and ability to get things wrong.

1. Stop turning into a time capsule of the 1950s

This is really a small thing, but sometimes small things can have an outsized impact. Assuming someone comes into church for the first time, they will likely be a little weirded out because in dress and culture they walked into a time capsule of the 1950s. The Amish did this with mid-1800s, some Mennonites have as well. FLDS have with when they split in the 1930s/40s. These groups that have followed this pattern of freezing time and culture because they have been integrated into their religious practice are generally ones that are not really growing and have little-to-no impact or relevance in society. If we want to do the most good and build the most bridges, it is easier to do if we don’t continue falling into this pattern. Any efforts on our part to make our meetings look like a place that people in the public could come into and not feel out of place are steps in this direction. Dresses, suits and ties aren’t part of Christ’s gospel. Missionary clothing is changing for similar reasons. New guidelines for missionaries include allowing sisters to wear pants and Elders to go without jackets, so surely we can extend the same to our church attendance.

1. Always speak at church as though the audience is the general public

I have many times felt like I didn’t fit in or belong at church, and many times this has been because people speaking at church have done so with the assumption that everyone in the building must share their views on a given topic. Simply imagining that a gay couple, an ex-mormon, an investigator, some in the midst of a faith crisis, and others who live in our neighborhood are in the audience will help us to make sure that as we teach our lessons, give our talks, etc. that we will do so in the most open and welcoming way possible, which frankly is how i believe Jesus would have spoken. I truly believe that if we try to do this it will drastically improve our lessons and dialogue and help to make church a place that more people want to be. It is a change that (to borrow imagery from Jesus’s parable of the sower) will be akin to tilling and prepping the soil to improve the likelihood of allowing seeds to take root.
There are near infinite ways that we can innovate and get engaged in good causes. Awake and arise, join in the cause of Zion. The aspiration of Zion is to be of one heart and one mind and have no poor among us. I think it is worth noting that being of one mind doesn’t mean agreeing on everything. It means that we are united in love; love for God and for all persons. When this is our top priority, when we worry about how our actions impact others and whether our words and actions are conveying love, we become united. I’ve been a long-time fan of Eugene England’s essay “The church is as true as the gospel.” In it he makes the case that the church is true because it is a vehicle in which we are able to actually try to put the gospel into practice. In doing so we encounter difficulties as we interact with other fallible mortals and try to navigate our interactions in a Christ-like way. We all try and this mix of imperfect people who unite in love and service can help to bring each other and others to Christ. It is my prayer that we can find ways to engage with love, and humble ourselves like little children, to change our ways as needed to come closer to Christ. I leave this with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

It is a small fraction of the number of parents who proudly identify as autistic who will talk openly about how they think their disability adversely affects their ability to parent and how they try to compensate for these things. Far more seem to either claim, to the contrary, that doesn't affect their parenting skills, that it simply makes it "different" or just don't talk about it. And as a result, honestly the first thing that comes to mind when I hear these people talk about parenting on the spectrum or whatever is that they must be coming up short in some ways. Not that they're necessarily terrible or awful or should have their children taken away, but that they're not engaging with a lot of elements of emotional attunement that they should be engaging because of their condition, but are also completely unaware of the fact that they should be engaging with these things for the same reason.
There is also, of course, no point in telling them any of this because they won't get it for the same reason. Even though I don't voice these thoughts I feel like a bitch for having them, though, for a variety of reasons: 1) I'm a stranger making blanket assumptions about people based on things I read on the internet and have no place whatsoever making this kind of presumption about their life or parenting skills, 2) it's possible they are in fact very self-aware and just don't demonstrate this in their writing, 3) since autism is at this point so broad a diagnostic category as to be medically incoherent, it's possible that their unique manifestation of autism actually doesn't detract from their parenting ability at all. These are all very legitimate reasons.
However, on the other hand, there's Occam's razor, which points me in one direction, and I really can't help but think, am I wrong? I'd love to be wrong, I just don't think I am. We're all here because to whatever extent we've been hurt by our parent because of their disability. And where are our parents? In most cases, not in support groups talking about how hard it is for their children and how hard they're working to overcome their problems. Most of our parents think they're doing just fine, and the kids are just "weird" or "bad" for some reason because they won't do the things they want the way they want. Or "good" because they are doing the things they want the way they want. But either way, our parents don't really see their kids as people. It's not their fault. We know that. But pain doesn't have to be intended to be felt. Unless they show otherwise, what reason do I have to think these people are different, that they're not like our parents?
This is not even exclusively the case for the ones who identify as high-functioning or aspies, as you'd imagine, it's the case across the spectrum. There are a pretty shocking number of women are diagnosed with level 2 or 3 autism who are also mothers but in my experience, for whatever reason, they tend not to reflect on how their disorder has adversely affected their parenting when you'd think it would in fact have profound effects. I recall this one person (whose username I will not mention) who talks about how extensively and profoundly her autism has affected her life: she says she stims constantly and her eyes always dart around the room, she has a major speech impediment, is not supposed to be unsupervised for any length of time, cannot cross the street on her own, often loses the ability to speak or has violent meltdowns where caregivers have to restrain her for some time before she calms down (I suspect a lot of this is due to trauma rather than autism exclusively but that's neither here nor there I guess). Despite her challenges, though, she says she managed to have a daughter and raise her effectively, despite having such issues with self-care prior to her diagnosis that she was nearly taken by child services at one point: "I read lots of books on parenting and apparently I did a pretty good job." And when I read this, God strike me down for saying this, but I thought "how could that even be possible?" Maternal attunement and reciprocal conversational interchange between mother and infant is the means by which an infant learns to understand who they are; if you understand absolutely nothing of this normal conversation and are physically incapable of making eye contact even with your own baby, won't that have lasting effects on your child? It's not something you can just learn by reading a book; it is something any parenting book, at least for a lay audience, would simply assume you know. Add in the fact that she apparently functions at a 5-6-year-old level in everything other than intellectual capacity and I realize that some people find it easier to care for another person than themselves, but fuck! Her adult daughter may have told her she did a good job out of love, knowing she did her best with her limited means and capacity, but that does not mean she was actually raised well, and because of her autism obviously she wouldn't realize in the first place that this was a lie. When I saw her post this AMA thread about herself I had to fight off an almost overwhelming urge to ask pointed questions about this and force myself to leave her alone. Some consolation seems to be that she wasn't the only caregiver as she talked about the father and his family being very involved.

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1cxj7h8/comment/l52vtd5/?context=3
*****

The Palatini of Orias journey took nine grueling days of traveling down the peaks of Torness Mountain Range. But at long last, they reached the Coralus Valley. While the temperature was far below what the half-elf usually enjoyed, it was far better than the mountain peaks.
They traveled through the valley, trying to avoid the multiple hostiles, villages, and anyone else who could tip off their enemies. They had to take every tedious path imaginable to prevent possible contact with the enemy.
Staring at their destination, Fraeya Holiadon could not decide if she should be thrilled or distorted at the sight. "Is this the place?"
"I believe so," Raegel said. "The pattern of the structures matches my drawings and the map. See the remains of the two walls?"
"And the stone rings that direct out," Henness said.
"So, you have read the legends," Raegel said, surprised by the centurion's knowledge of the temple.
"I always prepare before a mission," Henness said. "Those half rings, are they stone or artificial?"
"They look like stone, so I think they used the ground stone and molded them," Raegel said.
Fraeya Holiadon carefully stared at the temple ruins. All she could see was the destruction—fractured stone buildings, walls, weed-infested stone pavement, and so on. While there were still many stone structures, most were destroyed. She could only see death, not the walls her father could see.
She turned to ask her father what he was talking about but saw Centurion Fionntan Henness pointing toward the walls and other details.
Watching the two communicate about the features of the temple, she realized how out of depth she was. Her father spent generations studying ruins like this, while Henness is an experienced soldier. For Fraeya, this was her first mission outside the academy supervision, and she realized how different the world was compared to the classroom.
As the two spoke, her elf ears overheard Henness mention that he saw green webbing. As the two men debated what creatures could create that webbing, she already knew based on the type of webbing. Being an excellent student, she recalled the topic regarding intelligent monsters. While many species produce a web, only one creates a thick green. Goblins.
"Father," Fraeya said. "I think goblins made those webbings."
"How could you possibly know that?" Henness asked, unconvinced by the theory. "It would easily be Rorgo or a Kipt."
Fraeya reached into her backpack and pulled out her notepad. She flipped through the pages and responded, "Kipt is more silk-like, while Rorgo is more for capturing prey. Both are white. Only Goblins make green."
"She is correct," Raegel said. "The green should have been a given."
"Alright," Henness said. "That complicates things."
"How so?" Fraeya asked. "The academy said they are weak. Adventures and local militia kill them constantly, so your men should be able to wipe them out with your weaponry easily."
"Goblins are weak in small numbers, but they are a nightmare in large numbers," Henness said. "And depending on the horde, they adapt to who their enemies are quickly. For all I know, we could be fighting a nest that is as heavily armed as we are."
Fraeya looked back toward the next with much confusion. She knew about the goblin's ability to adapt. However, her teachers never stated how formal they could be. Only treating them as barbarians is a functional civilization. "I would think the academy would mention something like that."
"If you are going to be out here in the world, you must understand that life is very different from the classroom," Henness said. "The difference between someone who lives behind a desk versus someone on the ground. Now, I need to get my forces ready for our attack."
Once the centurion left, Fraeya looked at her father. "I am starting to get the impression that my schooling wasn't as truthful as I once thought."
Raegel chuckled at the statement from his daughter. "That is what I said when I left my academy in Thali'ean," he said with a short chuckle before he spoke. "Henness was correct; there is a large gap between the classroom and out here in the world."
"I see. So, now, what do we do?"
"We wait for the legionaries to form a plan. Because time is not on our side, he will want you to assist with your magic. Do you think you can assist? If you are uncomfortable, tell me now, and you can stay here where it is safe."
Feeling a nervous chill creeping down her spine, she looked back toward the temple and breathed heavily. "I admit, I am scared, but I didn't come here to babysit the camp. I want to help."
She felt her father pat her on the back, feeling a sense of pride from his touch.
"That's my daughter."
After an hour of planning, the Palatini of Orias began their assault on the temple ruins. The plan was for a primary team to assault the temple directly, triggering a response from the goblin. The second team would remain on the high ground and pick off the horde.
Fraeya ended up on the right side of the group team. To her surprise, many soldiers were thrilled that they were finally getting into a fight. She wondered, after two weeks of crawling over the mountains and hiding like rodents, they finally got a chance to be soldiers.
The primary assault group she was attached to advance toward the temple once the signal was given. Passing one of the few remaining wall structures, they entered the temple ground. As they swept through the old temple's front sections, the goblins huddled around a fire pit, noticed them, and prepared for battle.
Three legionaries known as circilmen, from the palatini positioned themselves to engage the incoming enemy. Carrying a ranged projectile weapon known as a circiletum, they hid behind the front shield men and fired upon the incoming enemy. They picked off two of the three goblins as the last one quickly crawled under a piece of rubble for cover. Then, the palatini heard a painful screech from the hiding goblin.
Fraeya couldn't help herself but stand there noticing the two fresh corpses. She then watched as two of the swordsmen rushed to the hiding goblin. They reached in and pulled the little green monster out of its hiding spot.
Two swordsmen grabbed the goblin and dragged it from its cover, it jumped on top of one of the legionaries, stabbing its blade into its armor, unable to break through. With a short struggle, the legionary could slam the goblin onto the ground. The other legionary stomped on the body before thrusting his gladius into the monster.
Hearing another screech, Fraeya looked down the stone path and saw goblins popping out of every crack and corner.
One of the legionary officers ordered the unit to reform. The swordsmen took the front with their large scutum shields, creating a two-line protective shield wall. Behind them were the circilmen, taking cover behind the scutum.
The group of goblins charged forward. As they approached, the legionaries saw the raw, starving rage within their dark green eyes—a thirst for primal instincts of food and lust and nothing else.
"Fraeya, is it?"
Hearing her name, she turned to the commanding offer of this group.
"When I give the order, shake the ground." The lower-ranking Centurian said.
Fraeya acknowledged the order as she understood what he was planning.
Turning back to the incoming horde, she watched the three circilmen open fire. The circiletums cut down the forward group of goblins. The ones behind that row suddenly stopped from the shock but were cut down by a second volley.
"Now. Before they scatter."
Fraeya placed her hands together and chanted. The two tiny mana crystals on her gloves blew green as she felt a raw energy channel through her body. A moment later, that glow expanded to the point that it encompassed her hand.
Channeling the mana needed for the spell, Fraeya placed her left hand on the ground.
The stone ground beneath them shook the stone terra, stunning the goblins. Right down the center, cracks formed, and the terra broke apart. The road slightly uplifted into an elevation, forcing the goblins to focus on what was happening.
With the ground disinformed, it prevented the enemy from scattering in an organized manner, allowing the circilmen to fire another volley.
The front scutum marched forward and started cutting down anything that moved. The other line split into two groups. They were marching down the street in an almost synchronized manner. They held their shields high toward the ruins, protecting the circilmen from any incoming projectile. Arrows and magic.
Fireballs flew and impacted the scutum infantry, protecting the flanks. Some of the shields glowed from the impact. The flames engulfed one of the men's arms, and he started to scream from the pain.
The circilmen returned fire, and a firefight began. The sound of their weapons crackled throughout the surrounding area, amplified by the ruined walls. Above the sound of battle were the voices and cries of the wounded—the circiletum that were deployed on the ridge above rained fire from the suppressive team.
The Palatini of Orias pushed deeper into the temple ground as the battle continued. That was until the town began to be consumed by this thick haze, providing cover for the goblins, and restricting visibility for the Lat forces. While not educated to the standards of civilized races, Goblins were not stupid.
"It is a haze," Fraeya said. "They must have a mage somewhere within the nest."
Centurion Fionntan Henness approached their forces and began to regroup. "Can you counter it?"
"No," Fraeya replied. "I never studied Aeromancy magic."
"Nebulo," Henness said. "Our armor and weapons will be less effective."
Fraeya understood his concern. From what she recalled from her classes; goblins have sharp senses. Based on the density of the haze, it was clear even to her that they were planning to force them to huddle and expose themselves to be surrounded, making their ranged weapons worthless.
"We will just have to work around it," Raegel said.
As Frayea prepared herself, she felt a strange feeling throughout her body, almost like some field affecting her body. She saw a female legionary in light armor and a cloak checking over the wounded. One of the few women in the legionary, she could tell she was the unit healer specializing in Sanamancy magic. The women must have placed a barrier to help protect against any poisonous gasses lying within the haze.
Orias advanced through the haze; this forced the soldiers to clump together for safety. As the assault group progressed, they were hit non-stop by the goblin's arrow fire, spears, and fire shots from sling guns. Most of these projectiles caused minor damage thanks to the heavy armor legionary’s wear. However, this did not remove the damage as it brought discomfort and limited their progression to a crawl.
Barely noticing two figures on top of a rooftop through the haze, who were firing slingshots toward their position, she pointed her hand toward a piece of rubble and, with her magic, lifted the debris and projected it through the haze. The rubble temporarily formed a gap in the haze that increased the line-of-sight.
She then called out to the fire battle mage within the unit. The mage realized what was happening and fired multiple firebolts toward the tower. Five bolts impacted the building from different directions, engulfing the structure in flames. Everyone could hear the faint sound of goblins screaming as the building burnt.
With the tower collapsing suddenly, arrows rained through the thick haze, hitting the legionaries in retaliation. While most arrows bounced off the armor, some found exposed spots. Two more legionaries fell to their knees, with one vomiting blood, forcing the healed to focus on the sick over protecting the group.
It became clear that the goblins changed their tactics and poisoned their arrows. While worthless against armor, they could still puncture the underneath clothing and scrap any exposed part of the skin.
A luperca legionnaire picked up an old broken wagon and used it as a shield to protect. With the cover, the lower ranking commanders directed the circilmen to pick off any goblins that peaked above the surface.
Combined with the haze and change of tactic, this formed a strange stalemate between the two sides. The Orias was forced into a defensive; they were well equipped to deal with any goblins who dared to get within melee range. However, the goblins had surrounded and had the range advance as they could see through the haze, allowing them to snipe any legionary who adventured far from the group.
Fraeya saw a blob of acid impact a swordsmen's scutum. The scutum started being consumed by the spell, slowly falling into pieces. The man screamed as he felt his arm burn, desperately untieing the strappings to ditch the heavy shield.
"We need to kill their shaman before we are picked off," Raegel said.
"I agreed," Henness replied. "As long as this haze is here, my suppressive team is useless."
"If I recall," Fraeya said. "A Shaman should be nearby. Someone close enough to maintain this haze and give commands but not put themselves in danger."
"Then I know where it should be," Henness said. "Let's go half-elf."
She felt her ears perk up once she realized the centurion was talking about her. She looked toward her father and saw the 'it is time to prove yourself' look. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself, she gathered behind Henness and six of his men.
The assault unit left the main one and adventurer deeper into the temple grounds. As they reached what remained of an intersection, goblins stormed out of the stone buildings to ambush the legionaries.
With their disciplined reaction, the legionaries immediately adjusted their formation and sliced down the attackers. Henness stood at the center, holding his sword out as flames wrapped around the blade.
As the goblins attacked the swordsmen, Fraeya broke apart the ground on the right flank, knocking many goblins. The one that fell, she entangled them by summoning vines - which trapped the goblins and pulled them into the ground until their death or burial.
She then turned and lifted parts of the ground on the left flank, blocking some of the goblins. This prevented the legionaries from being encircled.
"Reform," Henness ordered. "We need to advance quickly. Stay close."
Once the path was clear, the unit moved toward the building where the goblins had fortified. Henness moved in front of her to provide protection. He held up his shield, deflecting arrows.
"Stay behind me," Henness said.
While not being a military woman, Fraeya quickly learned to accept the chain of command on this quest. On the battlefield, her father told her to listen to Henness as he was a man of war. She realized that the structure and safety of the city and the academy are vastly different in the countryside. Getting behind him, she followed him close behind as he pushed forward, arrows striking his shield, allowing her to get in range for her spell.
The legionaries stopped engaging the incoming goblins, allowing their centurion and the young mage to get closer. Henness reached around his scutum and pressed the amulet attached to the outer shell's center. Once pressed, the large shield briefly glowed before darkening, returning to the standard red with white lining design.
Up ahead, Fraeya saw in full display of the nest. Spikes, fortification, and green webbing filled the gaps between the ruined structures. Skeletons and decomposing bodies littered the areas of their past victims. The goblins were standing in the bunker sections, preparing for battle. With how heavily guarded it was, she concluded that this must be where the Shaman was.
"Fraeya, now!"
Fraeya moved around the man to cast her spell. With a quick chant, her hands glowed green again. As she channeled her mana, an acid attack impacted Henness' scutum. While the added hardening enchantment from the amulet increased the scutum resistance, the acid slowly ate through the large shield.
Stepping from cover, Fraeya aimed her hands at the nest. The ground trembled a little as the front of the nest collapsed on itself from the summoned sinkhole.
With the front entrance open, Fraeya saw the Shaman in plain view—a female, being one of the few within a goblin nest. The Shama looked scared as she looked around where to hide.
Fraeya did not give it time as she cast a spell that created a spike from the ground below the Shaman and pierced straight through the vicious monster, killing it instantly.
As the Shaman staff hit the ground, the haze started to disappear.
Believing that her work was complete after killing the goblin leader, her ears quickly heard footsteps surrounding them.
Noticing that the goblins were about to swarm their position, she took cover behind Henness to protect his rear. She took a deep breath as she felt exhausted from the battle and cast so many spells quickly.
Starting at five goblins that emerged from the ruins, Fraeya watched as they charged toward them. Before they got close, however, each one was sniped from the ridge-side suppressive team.
With a moment of confusion, she stared toward the cliffside and saw the suppressive team. Now that the haze is disappearing, they could snipe off the remaining goblins from their elevation position.
"Good job, half-elf," Henness said, slowly stepping back with a shield aimed at the flames, guiding Fraeya back.
"Stop calling me half-elf," Fraeya yelled. "I am out here risking my life with the rest of you, and don't give me that war is a male-domain thing! I am willing to see this through. Most of my kind would stay home and let you fight, so why do you keep degrading me?"
"Because ideals get people killed," Fionntan Henness replied. "Out here, you must earn that respect within the brotherhood of warriors, especially if you are used to living inside the city walls. People with a self-protected mindset usually end up as food for the worms or get my soldiers killed because they do not understand what it takes to survive."
The centurion then turned to the destroyed nest. "I will say, though, what you did here. It is a good first step for a half-elf." He then turned to give her an approving smile.
Not understanding the humor from the Lat, Fraeya accepted it. From her experience, Lats always had a strange sense of humor. Insults are sometimes seen as compliments while praising could be considered offensive. Saying one thing but meaning another is a common trait for them.
With the remaining palatini coming after clearing the remaining goblins, Fraeya saw her father. She rushed over and hugged him and teared up.
"You did good, my dear," Raegel said as he patted her.
"Is this really what it is like out here?" Fraeya asked.
"Sadly, it is," Fraeya replied. "That is why I never brought you around on my digs."
"I am sorry to interrupt," Henness said. "We are on borrowed time, so can we get at it?"
Fraeya looked toward the centurion with frustration as she wanted a moment with her father. After taking a deep breath, she realized that he was right.
After finishing her hug, she brushed off the goblin's blood and clothing.
"Then we better begin searching for what we came for," Raegel said as he reached for his bag. She watched as he pulled out a perfectly smoothed, pure black orb. By itself, it didn't look impressive. She had seen hundreds of these orbs at the academy or the many workshops within the city.
Raegel held the orb in one hand and activated it with his mana. The orb glowed light blue and fainted, barely emitting any energy. He then took it against the mountain and began scanning.
Not wanting to miss anything, Fraeya quickly pulled out her journal, skipping past all her notes until she reached a blank page. She then began documenting everything her father did, taking in every world and detail.
The palatini began walking through the ruins, heading toward the mountain wall. Raegel explained in his research that the temple extended inside the mountain, like a dwarf borrian. While others who came before him came up with this theory, they were still looking for a way to detect the hidden door markings and find it.
Raegel moved down the side of the mountain, holding the orb high.
"Why are you not using a door-detecting amulet?" Fraeya asked.
"Because people have been using that for generations and found nothing here," Raegel replied.
After a reasonable amount of time when nothing had happened, Fraeya began to wonder if everything was for nothing. Seeing the lack of progress, Henness inquired if the orb failed to work. As Raegel replied, the orb suddenly blimped orange for a moment.
Witnessing the sudden change, the group backed away as they did not know how to respond to the sudden glow.
Noticing a renewed excitement from her father, she followed him closely as they investigated the mountainside.
As they searched, her father noticed that the faint blue glow from the orb had changed to orange. It then disappeared and slowly appeared, like it was slowly pulsing. When they continued walking forward, the pulsing light increased in speed.
"I think it is directing us, father," Fraeya said.
"Possible," Raegel said. "There must be some type of link."
The palatini followed the direction the orb gave. As the group approached a mountainside wall, the pulse frequency increased until it looked like the orb glowed a solid color.
"I think we found it," Raegel said. He lifted the orb toward the wall.
As the orb drew closer to the mountainside, these blue lines appeared all over the rocky wall. The rough chips of rock melted away and turned smooth as the light traveled through the grooves, slowly creating what looked like a giant door of light.
Once the bright lights finished designing a massive door, Fraeya placed her hand on the wall, shocked at how the natural bulky rocks turned into a marble-like wall.
"I would step aside, Fraeya," Raegel said.
As Fraeya stepped backward, she watched her father open the door with a magical spell. Like most magical doors, the door brightened as she expected it would fold into the mountain. To her surprise, the door didn't fold away but melted into the ground.
"What happened to the door?" Fraeya asked.
Raegal placed his hand on his chin. "It seemed that the wall was not solid but some liquid matter. These people are impressive."
The wall began to shake as dusk from the cracks spread through the area.
A large opening formed as the door walls folded into the mountainside. A passage leading deeper into the mountain. The walls were black and smooth, while the floor had these textiles in perfect order, leading deeper into the mountain.
"This has to be a dwarven design," Fraeya commented. "Only they could do something like this."
"I'm not sure," Raegel said. "This is not a design I have seen from dwarves."
Fraeya understood what her father meant. Dwarven doors into the mountains took a lot of work to find. While there were many designs of such hidden doors and the means to open them, it was doubtful that anyone had ever seen a secret magical door like this before.
Raegel started to walk into the chamber but was suddenly stopped by Henness. Stating that he wanted his men to go first to ensure no trap, three legionaries moved through the large chamber. Once they gave the clear, the rest of the group entered.
While walking, Fraeya stayed close to her father as she took notes. The soldiers ahead of them set up torches to add more light. To her surprise, the walls and floor were smooth. The air was stale, probably trapped within this chamber for centuries.
As they walked inside, the room lit up. Everyone stopped as they looked toward the end of the hall. The chamber was empty, with only a strange-looking platform at the very end. Noticing that the orb was pointing toward the platform, they approached it.
"Is this it?" Henness asked. "It does not look that impressive."
"Not everything is based on size, centurion," Raegel replied, to which his daughter giggled.
Fraeya then analyzed the platform. It was smooth, almost marble-like. However, she doubted whether it was marble. The fundamental details that she noticed were a strange-looking blue crystal at the center of the platform and another in a hole on the side.
"This is interesting," Fraeya commented. The design looked surprisingly simple. This orb must act as some command orb for this device. They must be communicating in some manner."
"Assuming that the legend was true, the orcs were the ones who summoned the lats from Altaerrie," Fraeya said. "Maybe, when this place was lost of that time, it was never turned off. Being left in a state of slumber, waiting to be reawakened."
"Possible. It would explain why the orb directed us here. The orange pulse is now pointing down at a rapid pace."
"I think it goes into that hole, father," Fraeya said. "From what I can tell, the crystal in there connects to the one on top of the platform."
"I see," Raegel said. "The pulse is pointing toward it too. I recommend that everyone step back."
"Be careful, father," Fraeya said.
Stepping back from the platform, Fraeya watched as her father placed the orb into the hole. This was the moment her father had been talking about for decades, and it had finally come true. The Bridge between two worlds had finally been discovered.
As Raegel placed the orb into the platform, it glowed orange in a solid state, no longer pulsing. The blue crystal in the middle of the platform slowly lit up, like it was waking up after a long sleep.
The air suddenly chilled as the air flowed toward the platform. A bright light beamed out of the crystal and slowly faded away, leaving a light as if on standby.
To their dismay, the orb changed to red, dimming and brightening in a slow, tired pattern.
"What is it doing, father?" Fraeya asked.
"I have no idea," Raegel replied. "It must be waiting for something."

“On a table an old recorder is sitting, a man dressed mostly in brown and black, looking like a black and white noir film detective, a small black stubble.
Pacing around an olden bunker, memory of how he got there is hazy, knowing it was a setup by the red leaf militia…. Fisher was involved or it was his group.”
Okay…. Olmstead you know that Fisher was involved, there's a six-digit number code to open the door, the window has been reinforced with steel sheets and iron bars, there's probably a generator powering the lights, some type of mutant bear is outside and just killed something…….
Just think…. There is cardboard playing cards, a small wire, string, and a box of matches.
The Basewood traders outpost murders, two traders, a farmer, and a scraper were all killed.
All were bludgeoned from the behind, knocking them out, then the killer went stab crazy all over their bodies, the victims dying from stabbing and blood loss.
The killer's reason was to… what was the reason?
Due to something they started killing, at some point in the investigation I got trapped in their residence, had to use cardboard playing cards to unscrew a panel on a window.
Then I uhhhhh…. Memories aren’t working…. And the iron metal sheets are melded onto the window, so no screws.
The vent is small, can’t fit… the door hinges can be undone, gonna be a bit, and I have no idea if the bear is still there or left.
Okay Olmstead, Ankoku “Baijiu” probably at some point noticed you are missing since you haven’t checked in for what I’m gonna assume an hour or so.
Just sit down and play some solitaire with myself, that's fun…. Also I could use the time to relax and try to remember and jog my memory.
Also I could finally play what’s on this recorder…
“The recorder begins to play”
Log 3# of the experiments, no progress has been made, I don’t know what to tell the warden…. I can’t go into the meeting without anything…
My entire career lays on this, the project is an expensive one with the expectations of the suppliers, warden, and mainly Fisher……
Fisher, he scares me… I don’t know why but he offsets me, every time I meet or was near him I can feel that he would just begin to torture someone for no reason….
I’m scared and to anyone that would be assigned to this project, I’m sorry that I got you roped into a fully functioning hell on earth, no this is literally hell brought up to this world.
This is doctor Lann and I’m signing off for this day.

Hi,
We're looking at implementing break-glass accounts for our azure tenant and potentially on-prem DA functionality. Currently have fairly poor practise in this area
what are you doing in terms of break-glass procedures for Azure and on-prem AD administrative accounts?
My questions are :
1 - I will create two break-glass accounts: One for on-prem and one for the yourcompany.onmicrosoft.com tenant. already we have Break Glass account on on-prem AD. Right ?
2 - Does it make sense to use my existing on-prem user accounts for the global admin authorized account or do I need to create different accounts for global admin on AD? Already we have domadm_user (with domain admin rights) and srvadm_user (without domain admin rights) accounts.
3 - What are you using naming convention for cloud admin tier 0 ?
what I've done so far for on-prem :

• Created OUs for Tier 0 and Tier 1 servers
  
• Created separate groups for Tier0 and Tier 1 admin accounts
  
• Created Break Glass account on on-prem AD (with domain admin and enterprise privileges and never expired 16-character complex password)
  
• Related tier security policy definitions were made for Tier 0 and tier 1 in GPO
  
• created 2 different admin accounts like domadm_user (with domain admin rights) and srvadm_user (without domain admin rights)
  

Hi,
We're looking at implementing break-glass accounts for our azure tenant and potentially on-prem DA functionality. Currently have fairly poor practise in this area
what are you doing in terms of break-glass procedures for Azure and on-prem AD administrative accounts?
My questions are :
1 - I will create two break-glass accounts: One for on-prem and one for the yourcompany.onmicrosoft.com tenant. already we have Break Glass account on on-prem AD. Right ?
2 - Does it make sense to use my existing on-prem user accounts for the global admin authorized account or do I need to create different accounts for global admin on AD? Already we have domadm_user (with domain admin rights) and srvadm_user (without domain admin rights) accounts.
3 - What are you using naming convention for cloud admin tier 0 ?
what I've done so far for on-prem :

• Created OUs for Tier 0 and Tier 1 servers
  
• Created separate groups for Tier0 and Tier 1 admin accounts
  
• Created Break Glass account on on-prem AD (with domain admin and enterprise privileges and never expired 16-character complex password)
  
• Related tier security policy definitions were made for Tier 0 and tier 1 in GPO
  
• created 2 different admin accounts like domadm_user (with domain admin rights) and srvadm_user (without domain admin rights)
  

This yet-unnamed conlang is a sort of "con-dialect". Based on Old Spanish, it is spoken by a group recently discovered Latin American tribe of seemingly indigenous people, who were taken over by a group of conquistadors on a lost expedition; they married into the native elite and formed a new Spanish speaking upper class, out of touch with the Spanish crown, though to this day they still proclaim their loyalty to the Spanish Crown, and their leader calls himself the Bisorrei, [bisoʁej] (Refered to by the Spanish speakers as the "Bisoguey"), originally derived from the renaissance Spanish word for viceroy.

Phonological Inventory

​

	Labial	Dental/Alveölar	Palatal	Velar	Uvular
Nasal	m	n	ɲ
Voiceless Stop	p	t	tʃ	k
Voiced obstruënt	b~β	d~ð	ɟ~ʝ	g~ɣ	ɢ~ʁ
Voiceless Fricative	f	θ, s	(ʃ)	x~χ	x~χ
approximant	(w)	l	j	w
trill		r

While at first glance the phonology may be basically like any real spanish dialect, the only real difference beïng the voiced uvular stop, which is simply a gutteral double r, (which exists in Portuguese), the way it came to these sounds is much different. It even has the same allophonic rules with its stops. The other allophonic rules include that the velar series becomes uvular before a back vowel. So, "coudo" (es. codo) is pronounced [qowðo], and this leads to /ʁ/ and /ɣ/ merging before back vowels, even to the point where spellings of [ɢ~ʁ] does not always reflect etymology, so [ɢoβre] 'oak' is spelled "gobre" (es. roble) despite etymologically beïng "robre".

Development of Etymological Sibilants

In Spanish, all lingual fricatives derive from medieval sibilants. In Spanish, this was a result of first losing their voicing distinction and then becoming /θ/, /s/, or /x/. In the conlang, however, they moved first, merging with the lenited forms of the stops, so medieval [dz] merged with medieval [d], and [ʒ] became [ʝ] rather then [ʃ] and then [ç]. This changes a lot more though because there is also already a [ʝ] segment, which would render the functional load of the distinction great enough to possibly prevent further mergers.
This leads to the following pairs of cognates:

Conlang	Conlang	Spanish	Spanish	Originl	Original	Gloss
azur	aður	azul	aθul	azur	adzuɾ	blue
roxo	ɢoχo	rojo	roxo	roxo	roʃo	red
muyer	muʝer	mujer	muxeɾ	mugier	muʒeɾ	woman
biejez	bjeʝeð	vejez	bexeθ	vejez	βeʒed͡z	age

note: Glosses represent conlang meaning, not the spanish or medieval denotation of the word

Latin /f/

Beyond this, the fate of Latin /f/ is also slightly different. In early Spanish it became /h/, and Depending on the variëty of Spanish it either is still /h/ (as in Extremadura and parts of Andalusia), was lost entirely (the typical outcome), or merged with the reflex of Old Spanish /ʃ/ and /ʒ/ (some rural varieties of Latin America.). In the conlang however, the outcome depended on the context. Before front vowels and also after [i] it became [ç]. When between [a] or [o] and [u], [o], or [a], (or simply finally after [a] or [o]) it became [χ]. Both [ç] and [χ] mostly merged with the outcome of etymological [ʃ], which as already mentioned earlier underwent a shift of [ʃ] => [ç] => [x], and then uvularises after [a] and [o]. The sole exception to this merger is [χ] before [u].
The clusters [hw] and [hj] both became [f] and [x] <- [ç] respectively.

Conlang	Conlang	Spanish	Spanish	Medieval	Medieval	Gloss
xiyo	xiʝo	hijo	ixo	fijo	hiʒo	son
fenna	xenna	hembra	embra	femna	hemna	woman
truhan	truan	truhán	truan	trufan	truhan	comedian
oz	oð	hoz	oθ	foz	fodz	gorge
taxorra	taχoʁa	tahúlla	taˈuʝa	tahulla	tahuʎa	unit of roughly 1/4 acres
pherro	feʁo	fuego	fweɣo	fuego	fwego	fire
xerro	xeʁo	hierro	ɟ͡ʝero	fierro	hjero	iron

The palatal lateral

Spanish /ʎ/ also has no single clear cognate. Between non-front vowels, or initially before back vowels, /ʎ/ became [ɣ], passing through [ʟ] (this then backed to [ʁ] before /a/ and /o/). After syllables containing [j], it also dissimilated to [l]. Otherwise it became [ʝ] like in many variëties of Spanish.

Conlang	Conlang	Spanish	Spanish	Old Spanish	Old Spanish	Gloss
ceborra	θeβoʁa	cebolla	θeβoʎa	cebolla	tseboʎa	onion
ayir	aʝir	fallir	faʝiɾ	fallir	haʎiɾ~faʎiɾ	fail
rago	ɢaʁo	gallo	gaʎo	gallo	gaʎo	chicken, turkey
gubia	guβja	lluvia	ʝuβja	*lluvia	*ʎuvja	rain
jeno	ɟeno	lleno	ɟ͡ʝe.no	lleno	ʎeno	full
caudielo	qawðjelo	caudillo	kawðiʎo	cabdielo	kaβdjeʎo	general

The reason for words such as "gubia" and "jeno" having initial stops is the aforementioned rule whereby the voiced fricatives merged with the voiced stops.

Rhotics

Finally, we get to the outcome of [r]. Like in portuguese, this conlang has a gutteral rhotic; a simple [r] to [ʁ] shift. When combined with the broader betacism, this resulted in an initial allophone of [ɢ]. This did not affect the flap however, [ɾ], which has since turned into a trill.

Conlang	Conlang	Spanish	Spanish	Medieval	Medieval	Gloss
rephtar	ɢeftar	retar	retaɾ	reptar	reptaɾ	to delay
jego	ɟeʁo	yerro	ɟ͡ʝero	yerro	jero	mistake

Other Changes

Of course, these are merely the most notable changes. Other changes include voiceless plosives becoming fricatives in coda before an obstruent, and vowels raising before a coda nasal (except before a geminate nasal).
All in all, the result is a language with a very spanishy-sound (except the uvulars) but still quite distinct. This is not to get into the research I have yet to do to account for the language contact one would reasonably expect, which will be reflected in the morphology (hence why none was provided here).

Here's the scoop. My college experience was, well, meh. Small liberal arts school. Not terrible, not amazing. Part of the problem was I did not have a consistent group of good friends. Part of the problem was I had my own awkward/ambition/ego personality problems. Part of the problem was I attended the college to play varsity tennis, but I was cut my freshman year, thus throwing the next 3 years in a tailspin. And part of the problem was I did the pre-med track that decimated a lot of social time.
My wife and I attended the 5 year reunion (she went to a different college). It was nice, but we felt we kept getting ignored even when we tried to go around and meet up with people. The people I hung out with the most in college went awol afterwards and never wanted to meet up again- they didn't attend. A lot of people were still in their social groups, and we did not really identify with a single one. We spent two organized dinners eating by ourselves- for some reason people kept coming over asking to borrow chairs rather than asking if we could join them or if they could join us at our table, and that seemed to upset her. The dorm we stayed in was a lot of people partying and reliving the college days, which is ok to me but she did not enjoy the late night racket. We tried to ask a few of my colleagues who were there if they wanted to meet up and do something, but that didn't really happen. And we weren't really invited to any functions that others were hosting.
I get the vibe it might be time to move on and skip the 10 year reunion, especially since it is a long drive. The 5 year one was a bit more emotionally taxing than it was joyful. Then again, we hear about not burning bridges in life- is this a case where we do not want to burn bridges? And also, I feel flustered about this since I am not attending my high school reunion (too many bad memories). But that's the situation. Should we attend the 10 year reunion?

This is my attempt to summarize this research study (PDF): "Rhythmic tapping difficulties in adults who stutter: A deficit in beat perception, motor execution, or sensorimotor integration?" (2023)
Goal:

• Investigating the rhythmic abilities of people who stutter and to identify which processes potentially are impaired:

1. beat perception and reproduction
2. the execution of movements, in particular their initiation
3. or, sensorimotor integration

Research findings:

• People who stutter (PWS) were able to reproduce an isochronous pattern (aka occuring at the same time) on their own, without external auditory stimuli, with similar accuracy as the people who do not stutter (PNS), but with increased variability
• This group difference in variability was observed immediately after passive listening, without prior motor engagement, and was not enhanced or reduced after several seconds of tapping
• However, PWS showed increased tapping variability in the reproduction and synchronization tasks, this timing variability did not correlate significantly with the variability in reaction times or tapping force
• PWS exhibited larger negative mean asynchronies, and increased synchronization variability in synchronization tasks
• These group differences were not affected by beat hierarchy (i.e., “strong” vs. “weak” beats), pattern complexity (non-isochronous vs. isochronous) or presence versus absence of external auditory stimulus (1:1 vs. 1:4 isochronous pattern)
• Differences between PWS and PNS were not enhanced or reduced with sensorimotor learning, over the first taps of a synchronization task
• We hypothesize a deficit in neuronal oscillators coupling in production, but not in perception, of rhythmic patterns, and a larger delay in multi-modal feedback processing for PWS

Intro:

• In paced tapping tasks, i.e., when tapping in synchrony with an external metronome or musical excerpt, previous studies reported a greater tapping variability in PWS. In addition, when tapping along with a metronome marking a simple isochronous sequence, PWS tend to tap more ahead of the beat, i.e., they show a greater “Negative Mean Asynchrony” (NMA)
• Differences in movement behavior originate from deficits at more than one level e.g., paced tapping involves:
• (1) the skill to perceive a periodic beat
• (2) the capacity to initiate and execute movements to reproduce that beat
• (3) and the ability to monitor and update movement timing on-line, using sensory feedback

Identifying motor delays and variability at the speech motor execution stage

• What exactly is the reason for difficulties at the motor execution stage? For example:
• (1) muscle functioning can be impaired
• (2) inaccurate, unstable, or insufficiently activated internal representations
• Stuttering frequency is influenced by task complexity or speed
• In the current study, we investigated: To what extent is the increased timing variability and decreased timing accuracy of PWS related to difficulties in motor planning and execution?

Beat perception and reproduction

• “Beat” perception refers to the internal representation of periodicity when listening, seeing, or feeling a regular sequence of stimuli
• “Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis” suggests that beat perception involves the in phase tuning of endogenous neuronal oscillations in the brain, with external physical periodic or oscillatory phenomena. The observation that steady state-evoked potentials appear in the delta frequency range [0.5–4 Hz] in subjects who were passively listening to a rhythmic sequence at 2.4Hz, provides support for this hypothesis
• “Active Sensing” hypothesis: it extends the Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis by incorporating the role of the motor cortex. It proposes that the tuning of neuronal oscillations in the auditory cortex (which happens in the delta frequency range) is influenced by similar oscillations in the motor cortex. When perceiving beats in the delta frequency range (0.5–4 Hz), there is a coordinated tuning of oscillations between the auditory and motor cortices. This suggests an interaction between sensory perception (hearing the beats) and motor processing (possibly related to movement or rhythm)

Influence of motor engagement and sensorimotor learning

• It is uncertain to what extent the motor system influences or is intrinsically involved in timing processes
• Previous studies found some brain activity in motor regions during passive listening to a rhythmic pattern, without any movement, supporting the idea that beat perception intrinsically involves the motor system
• The coupling of neuronal oscillations to an external beat frequency, observed in passive listening to rhythm, is enhanced when gestures, like finger tapping, are simultaneously produced
• These observations support the idea that people build an internal representation of the beat by detecting the periodicity in sensory inputs without actual movement, but that this internal representation is nevertheless consolidated with engaging the motor system

Conclusions:
Is stuttering linked to difficulties in movement initiation due to a dysfunctional basal ganglia?

• This study found no significant differences between people who stutter (PWS) and people who do not stutter (PNS) in terms of average finger reaction time and its variability
• No correlation was found between reaction times and the severity of stuttering or synchronization accuracy
• Suggesting that movement initiation difficulties are not a contributing factor to stuttering in externally triggered movements
• The study concluded that timing differences observed between PWS and PNS were not due to difficulties in initiating movements

Are motor impairments in PWS related to inaccurate internal models or neural noise?

• The study found no correlation between timing and force variability, suggesting that the observed differences were not due to inaccurate internal models or neural noise

Beat Perception and Reproduction

• PWS demonstrated the ability to tap an isochronous sequence without external auditory reference and predict regular events, showing no significant acceleration or deceleration. They maintained acceptable levels of periodicity error and tapping variability, indicating accurate beat perception and transfer to motor actions
• Suggesting no strong deficit in tuning neuronal oscillations with the external beat in PWS
• PWS showed no significant difference in periodicity error during beat reproduction tasks but exhibited greater tapping variability. This indicates that PWS can perceive the beat accurately but have difficulty reproducing it consistently
• The study proposes that timing differences are not due to impaired motor execution but might be explained by the Oscillators Coupling Hypothesis
• PWS showed no difference in marking beat hierarchy compared to PNS. Both groups tapped stronger beats with greater force, indicating that beat hierarchy perception was intact

Sensorimotor Integration and Learning

• Current research findings exclude the idea that NMA is a compensation for motor delays or an underestimation of intervals
• PLV also varied with external auditory stimuli and task complexity, indicating that tapping variability in synchronization tasks involves additional sensorimotor variability. However, this was not significantly different between PWS and PNS, suggesting no deficit at this stage
• Improvement in synchronization consistency was observed for both groups over time, but not in accuracy. This excludes a sensorimotor learning deficit in PWS for consolidating internal beat representations

Tips:

• address the impairment in rhythmic abilities regarding beat perception and reproduction, the execution of movements, in particular their initiation, and sensorimotor integration
• address the increased variability when reproducing an isochronous pattern without external auditory stimuli
• address the prior motor engagement
• address the larger negative mean asynchronies (NMA), and increased synchronization variability (NMA refers to: a common phenomenon observed in synchronization tapping tasks is the tendency, even in typical individuals, to anticipate the beat, i.e., demonstrating a Negative Mean Asynchrony) (NMA depends on feedback modalities and is reduced when direct auditory feedback is available compared to information provided by only tactile-kinesthetic feedback. NMA reflects a slower processing and integration of tactile feedback than auditory or visual feedback)
• address the deficit in neuronal oscillators coupling in production (but not in perception) of rhythmic patterns, and address the larger delay in multi-modal feedback processing
• address the significant differences in movement duration, movement timing and reaching accuracy in upper limb and non-speech orofacial movements
• address the larger variability and disrupted timing across and within moving components, such as limbs and articulators (which is suggesting a timing deficit)
• address the dysfunctional dopamine receptors and address the disrupted basal ganglia-thalamo-cortical network (which is affecting both motor control and time processing)
• address the motor delays and variability at the speech motor execution stage
• address the longer voice reaction times
• address the longer movement durations, peak velocity latencies, and lower peak velocities for finger flexion
• address the longer durations between the peak EMG (Electromyography) of lip muscles and the speech onset
• learn to rely more on the feedforward and automatized mode of motor control, rather than mainly relying on sensory feedback (leading to inducing additional processing delays and eventually leading to unstable movement behavior of different effectors, especially at fast rate) (For example: Using sensory feedback for on-line monitoring and correcting timing errors. Resulting in delays in the pathway linking motor commands and their sensory consequences that need to be compensated)
• address the peak in beta oscillations in the basal ganglia after the stimulus occurred (which is interpreted as an increased attention and prediction of an event after the stimulus occured)
• address the potential deficit in recovering an underlying beat (which results in increased difficulties to add and remove events (or musical notes) within a periodic pattern. In contrast, if you struggle with the underlying beat, these tasks become harder because you lack the regular reference points, and therefore it becomes more difficult to perceive and reproduce complex rhythms, as well as meter. For example: a triple meter is a waltz (1-2-3, 1-2-3), with one strong beat followed by two weaker ones)
• address the movement initiation difficulties (contributing to stuttering in internally triggered movements)
• address the impairment of (1) the medial premotor circuit (associated with self-triggered actions (in contrast, the lateral premotor circuit - associated with externally triggered actions - is intact in stutterers). Understand that research found no significant timing differences in periodicity error in tasks mediated by the medial premotor circuit, rather they found significant differences in negative mean asynchrony - suggesting overreliance on the lateral premotor circuit involving on external triggers
• address the greater variability in movement amplitude and timing
• address the increased timing variability during simple synchronization tasks
• address the greater tapping variability (PWS can perceive the beat accurately but have difficulty reproducing it consistently)
• address the deficit in coupling neuronal oscillators driving the motor system (that leads to increased variability in beat reproduction)
• address the increased errors in reproducing complex non-isochronous patterns (rather than beat hierarchy perception as this was shown to be intact)
• address the reduced accuracy and consistency in synchronization tasks - with greater negative mean asynchrony (NMA) and lower phase locking values (PLV)
• address the variations in phase angles depended on beat strength, external auditory stimuli, and task complexity
• Ask yourself: What compensations do I implement for motor delays or an underestimation of intervals?
• address the slower processing of tactile and proprioceptive information (leading to increased integration delays between auditory and kinesthetic feedback - which explains why PWS perform taps in advance of the beat to synchronize sensory inputs accurately)
• address the NMA compensatory strategy for slower tactile feedback accumulation

This is a rundown of the predominant intelligent races on my fantasy version of Saturn, which is a sword-and-sorcery world loosely based on Classical mythology. Your feedback is greatly appreciated!
Aranians are the oldest of Saturn’s intelligent races. Like their kin the Arthropoids, they are entomons, with multi-jointed legs and semi-flexible exoskeletons. Unlike the Arthropoids, they are only slightly humanoid. Their lower bodies are spider-like, with eight legs and large abdomens, while their upper bodies are more humanoid, although they have six arms and numerous eyes. Once long ago, they boasted a planet-spanning civilization; they were the first to develop philosophy and art, mathematics and astrology, architecture and literature. But in the apocalypse of the Day of Wrath, their civilization was annihilated, and today, the descendants of those ancient Aranians have largely forgotten about the glories of their once-proud people. Many Aranians, such as the Slavars, live nomadic existences, although a few settled Aranian nations, such as Anansazi and Ctenizan, still exist.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Centaurs}
Arthropoids are entomons, insect-like creatures with semi-flexible exoskeletons, but are far more humanoid than their Aranian cousins. Most are of human height, with two legs and four arms, but a few are smaller, such as the ant-like Marwari, who stand roughly four feet tall, or the flea-like Zaoi, who are usually less than three feet in height. Most Arthropoids have wings, which allow them to fly thanks to their irridescent membranes, membranes which manipulate colour and permit flight despite the Arthropoids’ weight. Unlike the Dendryads, the Arthropoids are not a single species, but rather a collection of many species that are not capable of interbreeding. A wide variety of nations have been founded by the Arthropoids—the expansive empire of Marwar, the reclusive land of Aed, the militaristic Vazhka—and in a few places, mainly Naranj and Merinj, they live in harmony with the Dendryads. In the main, however, a state of war usually exists between the Dendryads and the Arthropoids, as the two “superraces” compete for control of Saturn.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Myrmidons, Amazons}
Although Dendryads appear to be plants, they are not. They are instead phyta, a kingdom of organisms that split off from plants roughly 400 million years ago. Humanoid, like almost all creatures native to Saturn the Dendryads have six limbs, four arms and two legs. Unlike the Arthropoids, the Dendryads are a single species, although with astonishing diversity; their subraces are capable of interbreeding, but this usually requires divine intervention. Most races of Dendryads are sequential hermaphrodites: they change from male to female or female to male periodically throughout their lives. Over the millennia, the Dendryads have spread out across the surface of Saturn, forming mighty kingdoms and vast empires. Today, most Dendryads would assert that, even if their own nation is not particularly powerful, the greatest and most puissant of Saturn’s civilizations are still Dendryad. The most notable of these is Aquarium, the Golden City, the Light of the World, the last remnant of the Anthemite Empire and defender of civilization since Anthem’s fall ten thousand years ago. Other Dendryad kingdoms of note are Naranj and Merinj, Dzjanggakh, Mora, and Qoq. With the fall of Anthem, though, the Dendryad position is threatened by rising powers, most of which are either Arthropoid or Mykobold in ethnicity. On multiple fronts, the Aquarine Empire is challenged: by its ancient enemy Marwar, by the new and dynamic Swarm of the Azzuzzazi, by invading Slavars. Only time will tell if Aquarium can withstand this onslaught of “barbarians”.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Dryads}
Mykobolds are the fungal equivalent of Dendryads. Shorter than the Dendryads, they prefer dark and moist regions of Saturn, such as deep caves, swamps, and the undergrowth of many of Saturn’s forests. This often brings them into contact with the te’Ythul (see below), often at the Mykobolds’ cost. Their relations with the other races of Saturn vary significantly depending on the tribe of Mykobolds and the counterparty: the Russulkas or Redcaps are mischievous bordering on murderous, the Troggoths of the subterranean empire of Troggoroth are insane cultists, the Kuba are peaceful shamans, the Lichens are undead necromancers who possess the rotting bodies of other races, the Gomphlins are friendly but isolationist, the Thallids have an ancient but proud scholarly tradition, and so forth. Recently, many tribes of Mykobolds have begun migrating from their traditional strongholds into the vacuum left by the decaying eastern half of the Anthemite Empire, creating new petty kingdoms for themselves and occasionally finding themselves as the ruling class over Dendryads. This has led to tension between the two ethnicities.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Troglodytae}
The Coral Brains are not, strictly speaking, a race in the same way as the others. They are, instead, vast colonies of polyps that function as enormous neural networks. Once a single supercomputer that covered much of the surface of Saturn, the coral was shattered during the Day of Wrath and many fragments were ejected into Saturn’s atmosphere and beyond. Now the remaining pieces, which range in size from a few dozen meters across to dozens of miles, roam the skies of Saturn, kept aloft by careful channeling of colour which provides an antigravity force. It also fuels their computation. Some of them have seen their surfaces colonized by other races, but those settlers exist on the coral brains only at the brains’ sufferance. For at least a million years, the coral brains have been locked in a secret war with the Shimmering Demons, recruiting from the other races individuals and sometimes entire nations as pawns in their struggle to control Saturn; most notably, both sides have engaged the services of what remains of Anthem’s ceramic legions as foot soldiers.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Genii Loci}
The te’Ythul, or Spawn of Ythul, are one of the most ancient and mysterious of Saturn’s races. These hulking giants, who can reach heights of thirty feet, are found only in humid and swampy areas, where the water in the air keeps their mucous-covered skins moist. Having arisen from the congealing, rancid blood of the thousand-mile-tall embodiment of primordial chaos Ythul when it spilled from his body on the Day of Wrath, the te’Ythul hid themselves in secret parts of the world, far from the other races towards which they were and are profoundly hostile. Many have become masters of manipulating the obsidian oil, giving them access to arcane and eldritch powers unknown and forbidden to the rest of Saturn’s peoples. A few have even taken to dabbling in anti-colour, a sinister and unholy force of unknown origins. With their dozens of tentacles, they are formidable and terrifying foes for any adventurers who encounter them, whether in the depths of the earth or secreted within foul swamps or roaming the dusk-shrouded undergrowth of Saturn’s rainforests.
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Cyclopes}
Syngnals are the messengers and servants of Phragma, the trickster goddess of magic. These small, seahorse-like creatures flit around, gradually influencing the course of Saturnian history in the direction Phragma would like it to go. Unfortunately for her, they aren’t very good at their jobs. Or maybe they are…
{Classical Mythology equivalent: Hippocampus}
Titanians and Uberonians are humanoids not native to Saturn; instead, they originated on Saturn’s moon Voeba. However, when Voeba was destroyed during the Day of Wrath, its inhabitants were forced to migrate elsewhere, to other moons. One group settled on Titan; the other, after finding their first choice of Hyperion unsuitable, eventually formed a new society on Rhea. Not being native Saturnians, they only have four limbs, rather than the standard six, and they have a higher level of technology than the Saturnians, boasting flying saucers, rocket ships, and rayguns. Since the Day of Wrath, they have been locked in a cold war for control of Saturn’s moons and rings, largely ignoring the planet itself, which they regard as inhabited by primitives. Of the two, the Titanian are marginally more benevolent, although both nations feel perfectly free to abduct Saturnians and probe them, or, in the case of the Uberonians, enslave them for their own amusement. This latter habit is frowned upon by the Titanians, who attempt to enforce what they call the “First Order”, which states that more advanced and sophisticated and, frankly, intelligent races are not supposed to meddle in the affairs of primitives, because primitives, with their primitive planet-bound brains, simply cannot grasp how dangerous even a single piece of Titanian or Uberonian technology can be to a witless primitive. That raygun? Put it down. That com-talker? Put it down. That belt buckle? Put it down! The Titanian Ring Patrol, with its stalwart band of Space Marshals, attempts to enforce the law on a largely lawless Ring system, but even they periodically break the First Order, usually because the Uberonians broke it first or because the primitives had already been exposed to advanced technology or because the captain really didn’t feel like following it.
{Norse Mythology equivalent: Ljósálfar and Dökkálfar}
The Shimmering Demons, like the Titanians and Uberonians, are not native to Saturn. In fact, no one knows where they come from, exactly. What is known is that they don’t seem to be entirely…here. Flickering in and out of perception, they are found throughout Saturn, usually as traders, but what they trade in is…odd. Want wealth? They’re happy to oblige, in exchange for a handful of twigs. Want power? Sure thing; you’ll just need to give them your happiest memory. Want immortality? It only costs a broken sword. Want true love? Not a problem—but you’ll be sacrificing all the messy complexity of a real relationship…which the demons are glad to take off your hands. It’s been noticed that people who deal with them come away from the transaction a little…flatter, somehow; a little more two-dimensional. Those of the demons who aren’t engaged in trade are busy measuring. They measure everything, absolutely everything—from the diameter of that tree to exactly how much of a “hero” you are--and when they aren’t measuring, they’re cataloguing. They catalog everything. Even people. They would classify you as a web-based amateur worldbuilder grade B+ (not to be confused with a web-based amateur worldbuilder grade B++). Would you be interested in being reclassified as a web-based amateur worldbuilder grade A---? They have an installment plan…
{Classical Mythology equivalent: none}

Here are all of the relevant keywords/abbreviations for the CompTIA sec+ exam.
Comment below if you have any questions, if I made a mistake, or if I missed something!
AAA: Authentication, Authorization, and Accounting ABAC: Attribute-Based Access Control ACL: Access Control List AD: Active Directory AES: Advanced Encryption Standard AES256: Advanced Encryption Standard with a key size of 256 bits AH: Authentication Header AI: Artificial Intelligence AIS: Automated Information System ALE: Annual Loss Expectancy AP: Access Point API: Application Programming Interface APT: Advanced Persistent Threat ARO: Annualized Rate of Occurrence ARP: Address Resolution Protocol ASLR: Address Space Layout Randomization ASP: Application Service Provider ATT&CK: Adversarial Tactics, Techniques, and Common Knowledge AUP: Acceptable Use Policy AV: Antivirus BASH: Bourne Again Shell BCP: Business Continuity Plan BGP: Border Gateway Protocol BIA: Business Impact Analysis BIOS: Basic Input/Output System BPA: Business Process Automation BPDU: Bridge Protocol Data Unit BSSID: Basic Service Set Identifier BYOD: Bring Your Own Device CA: Certificate Authority CAPTCHA: Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart CAR: Corrective Action Report CASB: Cloud Access Security Broker CBC: Cipher Block Chaining CBT: Computer-Based Training CCMP: Counter Mode with Cipher Block Chaining Message Authentication Code Protocol CCTV: Closed-Circuit Television CERT: Computer Emergency Response Team CFB: Cipher Feedback CHAP: Challenge-Handshake Authentication Protocol CIO: Chief Information Officer CIRT: Computer Incident Response Team CIS: Center for Internet Security CMS: Content Management System CN: Common Name COOP: Continuity of Operations COPE: Corporate-Owned, Personally-Enabled CP: Control Plane CRC: Cyclic Redundancy Check CRL: Certificate Revocation List CSA: Cloud Security Alliance CSIRT: Computer Security Incident Response Team CSO: Chief Security Officer CSP: Cloud Service Provider CSR: Certificate Signing Request CSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery CSU: Central Service Unit CTM: Content Threat Management CTO: Chief Technology Officer CVE: Common Vulnerabilities and Exposures CVSS: Common Vulnerability Scoring System CYOD: Choose Your Own Device DAC: Discretionary Access Control DBA: Database Administrator DDoS: Distributed Denial of Service DEP: Data Execution Prevention DER: Distinguished Encoding Rules DES: Data Encryption Standard DHCP: Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol DHE: Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral DKIM: DomainKeys Identified Mail DLL: Dynamic Link Library DLP: Data Loss Prevention DMARC: Domain-based Message Authentication, Reporting, and Conformance DNT: Do Not Track DNS: Domain Name System DNSSEC: Domain Name System Security Extensions DoS: Denial of Service DPO: Data Protection Officer DRP: Disaster Recovery Plan DSA: Digital Signature Algorithm DSL: Digital Subscriber Line EAP: Extensible Authentication Protocol ECB: Electronic Codebook ECC: Elliptic Curve Cryptography ECDHE: Elliptic Curve Diffie-Hellman Ephemeral ECDSA: Elliptic Curve Digital Signature Algorithm EDR: Endpoint Detection and Response EFS: Encrypting File System EIP: Enterprise Information Portal EOL: End of Life EOS: End of Support ERP: Enterprise Resource Planning ESN: Electronic Serial Number ESP: Encapsulating Security Payload ESSID: Extended Service Set Identifier FACL: File Access Control List FDE: Full Disk Encryption FIM: File Integrity Monitoring FPGA: Field-Programmable Gate Array FRR: Fast Reroute FTP: File Transfer Protocol FTPS: FTP Secure GCM: Galois/Counter Mode GDPR: General Data Protection Regulation GPG: GNU Privacy Guard GPO: Group Policy Object GPS: Global Positioning System GPU: Graphics Processing Unit GRE: Generic Routing Encapsulation HA: High Availability HDD: Hard Disk Drive HIDS: Host-based Intrusion Detection System HIPS: Host-based Intrusion Prevention System HMAC: Keyed-Hash Message Authentication Code HOTP: HMAC-based One-Time Password HSM: Hardware Security Module HSMaaS: Hardware Security Module as a Service HTML: Hypertext Markup Language HTTP: Hypertext Transfer Protocol HTTPS: Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure HVAC: Heating, Ventilation, and Air Conditioning IaaS: Infrastructure as a Service IAM: Identity and Access Management ICMP: Internet Control Message Protocol ICS: Industrial Control System IDEA: International Data Encryption Algorithm IDF: Intermediate Distribution Frame IdP: Identity Provider IDS: Intrusion Detection System IPS: Intrusion Prevention System IEEE: Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers IKE: Internet Key Exchange IM: Instant Messaging IMAP4: Internet Message Access Protocol version 4 IoC: Indicator of Compromise IoT: Internet of Things IP: Internet Protocol IPSec: Internet Protocol Security IR: Incident Response IRC: Internet Relay Chat IRP: Incident Response Plan ISA: Interconnection Security Agreement ISFW: Integrated Security and Firewalls ISO: International Organization for Standardization ISP: Internet Service Provider ISSO: Information Systems Security Officer ITCP: Information Technology Contingency Plan IV: Initialization Vector KDC: Key Distribution Center KEK: Key Encryption Key L2TP: Layer 2 Tunneling Protocol LAN: Local Area Network LDAP: Lightweight Directory Access Protocol LEAP: Lightweight Extensible Authentication Protocol MaaS: Monitoring as a Service MAC: Media Access Control MAM: Mobile Application Management MAN: Metropolitan Area Network MBR: Master Boot Record MD5: Message Digest Algorithm 5 MDF: Main Distribution Frame MDM: Mobile Device Management MFA: Multi-Factor Authentication MFD: Multi-Function Device MFP: Multi-Function Printer ML: Machine Learning MMS: Multimedia Messaging Service MOA: Memorandum of Agreement MOU: Memorandum of Understanding MPLS: Multiprotocol Label Switching MSA: Master Service Agreement MSP: Managed Service Provider MSSP: Managed Security Service Provider MTBF: Mean Time Between Failures MTTF: Mean Time To Failure MTTR: Mean Time To Repair MTU: Maximum Transmission Unit NAC: Network Access Control NAT: Network Address Translation NDA: Non-Disclosure Agreement NFC: Near Field Communication NFV: Network Functions Virtualization NGFW: Next-Generation Firewall NG-SWG: Next-Generation Secure Web Gateway NIC: Network Interface Card NIDS: Network Intrusion Detection System NIPS: Network Intrusion Prevention System NIST: National Institute of Standards and Technology NOC: Network Operations Center NTFS: New Technology File System NTLM: New Technology LAN Manager NTP: Network Time Protocol OCSP: Online Certificate Status Protocol OID: Object Identifier OS: Operating System OAI: OpenID Authentication OSINT: Open Source Intelligence OSPF: Open Shortest Path First OT: Operational Technology OTA: Over-the-Air OTG: On-The-Go OVAL: Open Vulnerability and Assessment Language OWASP: Open Web Application Security Project P12: Personal Information Exchange Format P2P: Peer-to-Peer PaaS: Platform as a Service PAC: Proxy Auto-Configuration PAM: Privileged Access Management PAP: Password Authentication Protocol PAT: Port Address Translation PBKDF2: Password-Based Key Derivation Function 2 PBX: Private Branch Exchange PCAP: Packet Capture PCI DSS: Payment Card Industry Data Security Standard PDU: Protocol Data Unit PE: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PEAP: Protected Extensible Authentication Protocol PED: Portable Electronic Device PEM: Privacy Enhanced Mail PFS: Perfect Forward Secrecy PGP: Pretty Good Privacy PHI: Protected Health Information PII: Personally Identifiable Information PIN: Personal Identification Number PIV: Personal Identity Verification PKCS: Public Key Cryptography Standards PKI: Public Key Infrastructure PoC: Proof of Concept POP: Post Office Protocol POTS: Plain Old Telephone Service PPP: Point-to-Point Protocol PPTP: Point-to-Point Tunneling Protocol PSK: Pre-Shared Key PTZ: Pan-Tilt-Zoom PUP: Potentially Unwanted Program QA: Quality Assurance QoS: Quality of Service RA: Recovery Agent RAD: Rapid Application Development RADIUS: Remote Authentication Dial-In User Service RAID: Redundant Array of Independent Disks RAM: Random Access Memory RAS: Remote Access Service RAT: Remote Access Trojan RC4: Rivest Cipher 4 RCS: Remote Control System RFC: Request for Comments RFID: Radio-Frequency Identification RIPEMD: RACE Integrity Primitives Evaluation Message Digest ROI: Return on Investment RPO: Recovery Point Objective RSA: Rivest-Shamir-Adleman RTBH: Remote Triggered Black Hole RTO: Recovery Time Objective RTOS: Real-Time Operating System RTP: Real-Time Transport Protocol S/MIME: Secure/Multipurpose Internet Mail Extensions SaaS: Software as a Service SAE: Simultaneous Authentication of Equals SAML: Security Assertion Markup Language SCADA: Supervisory Control and Data Acquisition SCAP: Security Content Automation Protocol SCEP: Simple Certificate Enrollment Protocol SDK: Software Development Kit SDLC: Software Development Life Cycle SDLM: Software Development Lifecycle Management SDN: Software-Defined Networking SDP: Session Description Protocol SDV: Software-Defined Vehicle SED: Self-Encrypting Drive SEH: Structured Exception Handler SFTP: Secure File Transfer Protocol SHA: Secure Hash Algorithm SIEM: Security Information and Event Management SIM: Subscriber Identity Module SIP: Session Initiation Protocol SLA: Service Level Agreement SLE: Single Loss Expectancy SMB: Server Message Block SMS: Short Message Service SMTP/S: Simple Mail Transfer Protocol/Secure SNMP: Simple Network Management Protocol SOAP: Simple Object Access Protocol SOAR: Security Orchestration, Automation, and Response SoC: Security Operations Center SOC: System-On-Chip SPF: Sender Policy Framework SPIM: Spam Over Instant Messaging SQL: Structured Query Language SQLi: SQL Injection SRTP: Secure Real-Time Transport Protocol SSD: Solid-State Drive SSH: Secure Shell SSID: Service Set Identifier SSL: Secure Sockets Layer SSO: Single Sign-On STIX: Structured Threat Information eXpression STP: Spanning Tree Protocol SWG: Secure Web Gateway TACACS+: Terminal Access Controller Access-Control System Plus TGT: Ticket Granting Ticket TKIP: Temporal Key Integrity Protocol TLS: Transport Layer Security TOTP: Time-Based One-Time Password TPM: Trusted Platform Module TSIG: Transaction Signature TTP: Tactics, Techniques, and Procedures UAT: User Acceptance Testing UDP: User Datagram Protocol UEBA: User and Entity Behavior Analytics UEFI: Unified Extensible Firmware Interface UEM: Unified Endpoint Management UPS: Uninterruptible Power Supply URI: Uniform Resource Identifier URL: Uniform Resource Locator USB: Universal Serial Bus USB OTG: USB On-The-Go UTM: Unified Threat Management UTP: Unshielded Twisted Pair VBA: Visual Basic for Applications VDE: Virtual Desktop Environment VDI: Virtual Desktop Infrastructure VLAN: Virtual Local Area Network VLSM: Variable Length Subnet Masking VM: Virtual Machine VoIP: Voice over Internet Protocol VPC: Virtual Private Cloud VPN: Virtual Private Network VTC: Video Teleconferencing WAF: Web Application Firewall WAP: Wireless Access Point WEP: Wired Equivalent Privacy WIDS: Wireless Intrusion Detection System WIPS: Wireless Intrusion Prevention System WORM: Write Once, Read Many WPA: Wi-Fi Protected Access WPS: Wi-Fi Protected Setup XaaS: Anything as a Service XSRF: Cross-Site Request Forgery

**Not intended as a rage bait*\*
If the reference point is this: A feminine woman from your mother's generation (80's, 90's). Sexy, nurturing, kind, and confident in her skin
Then there are three different mutations of that femininity that are notable to mention:
1) Aggressive, career-focused, boss-lady type of woman who is argumentative and is adamant on not compromising because that is seen as weak. Essentially she is in constant denunciation of traditional femininity. She tries hard to convince folks she's not masculine but acts like it all the time. She thinks men are insecure and are afraid of her when in reality many are just turned off. Even men more successful than her.
2) Trans groups that are trying to strip femininity down to a collection of different behaviors and functions that can be torn apart and sown together (birther, bleeder, uterus owner, etc.). The most extreme mutation.
3) Lastly you have the uber-feminine women who are constantly in the process of out-feminizing the competition by excessive displays of femininity. Make-up, plastic surgery, tight-fitting clothes and endless selfies promoting their looks (insta-models, E-girls, OF fans)
All of these women have something in common. They give off a palpable deep-seeded insecurity that is just manifesting itself in different ways. You don't notice it until you start putting each type of woman right next to a traditional 70's, 80's woman. They all deeply detest the way their mothers lived. Am I the only one who thinks this?
It's Okay to be traditionally feminine and be comfortable with it. In fact we NEED it. Those women are the only type of women who are typically selected to become mothers and raise the next generation of men AND women.
There is a real crisis of traditional femininity and that needs to be talked about more.

As the title says, my therapist suggested that we try EMDR to get to the root of some issues. We did a short exercise during our last session, something similar to guided imagery. That was somewhat emotional and I had quite the physical reaction afterwards (shakey, feeling heavy) I have been highly anxious for years but high-functioning and have been dealing bouts of depression recently. I am a soon-to-be Psychology grad student and understand the steps of EMDR in text, and that people have a variety of reactions during the process but I still can’t shake the nerves.
I’d really appreciate hearing about others experiences with EMDR (or from therapists in this group).

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

I'm sleeping so much because not only is life a void without human intimacy and love, but also because there's nothing to mentally cling to to give myself some stability or foothold in the world. The constant feeling of slipping is itself a disaster that haunts me every second of every day, especially when things are good because I know immediately that it's just an illusion.
When I was younger I used to have dreams about being in one life but then I would wake up in my own life and realise I was living a nightmare. I think this really confused my understanding of what dreams and reality were and stuck with me in some way.
Thursday I'm going to do group therapy and my experience is that usually I feel much worse after, but I'm hoping there's some self correction to stirring up the shit then letting it settle again.
Repeating the process over and over along with other healthy habits maybe I can achieve some sort of piece.
I'm grateful that these days the nightmares are when I'm asleep. I guess it's probably weird to be grateful for nightmares but I know I can wake up and that's not my life. Before I had no way to escape, for about 20 years of my life give or take. You think time is just clicking on the clock but it's not, it's perception is relative to our states, think about when we are hungry or doing a plank, or in awe of something wonderful.
There's no way to explain how time passed and I am expected to get over it without others understanding. Even if it is possible, which I doubt it is, it doesn't mean my ability to form relationships will necessarily change, that could be hardwired.
But I'm already low functioning and can't hold a job so I might as well do something I think I have an advantage too as I have pretty solid ideas about teaoms not to use drugs or drink. Having recently had an epiphany about meth which was sporadic during my life up until this point I can tell I'll probably never use it again. Though who knows what a few more years of dread and isolation can cause.
Fuckin weird shit. And I'm not trying to complain either I'm just literally explaining my situation in factual detail. This is just the way things are and always have been. I am grateful for my life now especially but if it comes time for me to choose it again or move on I would say to god "just find someone else man I am not doing this again, find someone else for this one" lol. Next.