Example 16th birthday gift registry
For people who are hard to buy for
2012.11.14 01:09 For people who are hard to buy for
Sometimes you need to get a present for someone, but don't know enough about their hobbies. This subreddit hopes to unite you with people who can provide insight and assistance.
2012.02.25 20:39 MistuhHolly Random Acts of Lego
For giving the always awesome gift of Lego. For the best experience, we recommend using https://www.old.reddit.com/random_acts_of_lego to browse our community
2014.06.25 18:52 IAmADudette Nope not a thing.
Just a thing floating around in space. doing nothing.
2024.05.22 01:51 No-Weekend9587 I was in the comment I'm 11 years old my birthday is in November 10th why I'm new in May 16th 2024
 | submitted by No-Weekend9587 to MySingingMonsters [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:39 relativeisrelative Unique Experiences in DC/Surrounding Area
Hi folks, I'm hoping to crowd source a good idea for a birthday gift for my boyfriend. He prefers unique experiences that let us spend quality time together, but he's not particularly into dining out. Some things we've done in the past are tubing down the Shenandoah, taking a cocktail making class, a scavenger hunt at O St Mansion and renting kayaks. He's particularly into anything related to science and engineering. And I'm happy to drive somewhere within a few hours. Does anyone have thoughts about something a bit out of the ordinary that would fit the bill of allowing us to spend time together that doesn't revolve around food (or drinking)?
submitted by relativeisrelative to washingtondc [link] [comments]
2024.05.22 01:38 ArmadaKristy Thanks!
 | Thanks u/xSinnax !! submitted by ArmadaKristy to RandomactsofAmazon2 [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:28 GrainOfSand10 SCARED of my husband
I’m a stay at home mom of two baby boys. Married 3 years & dated 6 months prior to marriage & got pregnant a couple of months before getting married.
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
submitted by GrainOfSand10 to Advice [link] [comments]
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
2024.05.22 01:26 GrainOfSand10 SCARED of my husband
I’m a stay at home mom of two baby boys. Married 3 years & dated 6 months prior to marriage & got pregnant a couple of months before getting married.
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? Am I overthinking his lies and abuse? Do I need to get away now? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
submitted by GrainOfSand10 to u/GrainOfSand10 [link] [comments]
I’m going to get shit for all my bad decision-making here.
I prayed (out loud) for a man that would meet all this criteria and one month later met my husband. He met all the criteria of my prayer so no matter what bad things happened, I thought God had this purposed for me. I mean like a checklist of 10-20 items all checked off. I was vedy devout in my faith. But, now looking back I feel like maybe it wasn’t God who answered my prayer. Maybe this was like a time in the book of Job where God let Satan attack Job and take everything away from him. I don’t know. Oddly enough, the man that became my husband said he prayed for this, too, one month prior.
He love-bombed me. He devalued me. Later, he threatened to leave me (but never has). While we were dating, when I was pregnant, when we were engaged. He called escorts behind my back. I find out he had sexual relations with a woman in his apartment complex one week before we started dating - he told me three years into our marriage. Before we dated, he also had a two year affair with a married woman (whose husband to this day has no idea about it.) He was meeting her and texting her behind my back 2 weeks into us being officially dating exclusively. I find out because he got arrested and I went to pick up his things on his person at the jail. I guess his passcode in one try and there I see the truth. He lied about this woman - he said she was a best friend with no I love yous and no sexual relations. He even asked me if it was okay to be friends with her and I asked him those two questions. He lied and the proof was right there. We were fairly new so I didn’t read too many texts. I spent one hour on his phone at most and handling a panic attack in between.
I read where he texted escorts, too, and read two other relationships he had while seeing this married woman. My mind was blown. I was done. I screenshoted some evidence for my personal keepsake. I texted the married woman because their I love you was so recent. I told her what happened and said to go get him out of jail because I was done. She blew up my phone with texts. She wanted to know who I was and she wanted to share all the creepy details about this man. She claimed they only had sex twice and it was rape - bullshit. She also said a lot of other things like she knew when he bought me a coffee and knew when he went to the city to meet his friends. She said he said that they could still have sex while he was seeing me. He denied it and said it was the other way around.
When he got out of jail, he contacted me and sent me a video. She texted me to show me he sent her a video, too. Same shirt, same scenery and all filmed back after back. He told her how much he cared about her but he was letting her go. He came to meet me because I took his dog to care after her while he was in jail. He talked me into giving him one more chance. I moved into his apartment to get away from a situation at home. I fell for him hard and believed I was in love. We texted and talked all the time and when we were able, we were together. I went on a trip for a week withoht him to California. I got back and the sheets were washed. He said he did that for me so I can come home to clean sheets. Later over the course of our relationship I noticed he never much stepped up to do the laundry. A lot of chores started falling on me. Before even being married he expected me to coean his whole apartment which seemed to have never been touched once with any cleaning.
We were fighting a lot and I saw some of his anger but I thought he was just frustrated with things he was dealing with in his life. He got sort of pushy with me having intercourse with him at times I told him I didn’t want to because I wanted to wait. That made him angry. I find out that he had been FaceTiming escorts from the first weeks we started dating and found at least one call every month up to the week we were suppose to get married. I was shocked! I had no idea and I couldn’t believe it. We had intercourse so much that he wouldn’t need that so I thought. He said it was like porn to him and he had that habit from before he met me. Keep in mind, I’m religious so I was abstinent most of my life and these red flags weren’t so obvious to me. I thought most men were dogs like this. The biggest factor that blew my mind (of which he explained away) was that these escorts weren’t typical - they were transgender women and some still had their boy parts. After talking with someone who I thought was like a mom to me(I find oht later she wasn’t for me), I went through with the wedding, and besides, I was having his baby.
We moved states. I noticed a lot of verbal abuse starting from typically the night time as we shared a bed. He would cuss at me a lot and get so angry. It was almost every night. I was surprised - thinking who is this guy. He made me cry a lot. It was so stupid, I got screamed at just for rolling over in my sleep. He explained this away later after the problem got better. I began feeling like I made a mistake in marrying him. I was so scared at the same time because this was my first pregnancy. I feared so much about the “what ifs” and what world this baby was coming into.
The abuse got worse. It got physcial from time-to-time. He says I was abusive back but I feel like it was reactive abuse because it became too much for me. I would hit him back. It ate at my mind every day and I had all these hormones because I was going to have a baby soon. When pregnant, he has pushed me, held me down, jumped on me with his hands around my neck. He said things that were horrible like he would walk away from this son like he did his first son (he had a son from an earlier relationship which he had nothing to do with). Fear overcame me and some days I thought ending my life was the only way to escape my life and prevent a nightmare for my son. (These feelings relented later in time.)
One time he held up furniture above his head and he was ready to throw it at my head - I believe this was right after our son was born. We argued a lot because my mistrust in him because what I mentioned I discovered earlier. I wanted him to assure me he was trustworthy so sometimes I asked for his phone. Doing that resulted many times in violence and rage. When he had that furniture held up, I felt like he was going to end me right then and there. He stopped himself and I asked him why. He said because he saw the fear in my eyes.
We fought and made up A LOT. That was our relationship and me asking him where he has been or was he with someone. It was terrible for both of us. I discover later that he lied about a lot of things. I didn’t even know he didn’t have a drivers license until about 1-2 years into our marriage. I didn’t know the pictures of his boy parts I found once while dating were to the escorts. I asked him approximately a thousand times. He doesn’t just lie - he tells a story with details and the whole thing is a lie.
I use to check his phone and browser history because it was never ending place of discovery. I never got confessions out of him but I did get evidence that he thought he hid. He must have gotten better at hiding things because I would find less and less. I got to a point where I don’t check anymore - I know and it’s a damn headache to live like that. All the time he did these things, he swore his love for me. He said I was everything.
I discovered again a lie the first time he went to Miami last year (his first time away from me.) He took advantage and called at least ten eacorts and almost met up with one (or did. I don’t know. There’s no money spent but he lied and said the last escort called was his co-worker. I may never know what happened but his coworkers got weird around me after that trip. They won’t look me in the eye.) I didn’t know all this until December last year where I asked him for his T-Mobile password. He didn’t think I would find this when giving me the password.
I saw a text after that trip and found out he lied. He was awake at 2:00PM after he told me he went to bed on the phone. He told me how he missed me SOOO much. He said he tried putting his arm around me in bed to realize I was not there. We FOUGHT over the phone. He didn’t want me to see the rest of the texts between him and his coworker. He left bruises on my arms pushing and shoving me with all his strength. He overpowered me and I never saw the messages. He said he was hiding the fact ge did cocaine. I lost control because I pulled a knife out at him. Not to hurt him but to intimidate him. (I never lost it like this again -he ALWAYS uses this against me to say I’m the abusive one.)
December he admitted the elaborate cocaine story he gave me was a LIE. He said he did do cocaine but not how he told me. The real thing he was hiding was the escorts. At that time, I find out he kissed a coworker (maybe more but nobody will tell me anything.) Another girl told me he was always flirting with new hires. After I find this out from these girls, he put two holes in the walls and broke the doors at the apartment that was in my name. He also bought me $200 roses and a new marriage ring fo Christmas along with other nice gifts. He even goes to therapy to get better at his lying problem (which he only did for about 3 sessions.) He swore this was the last time I would EVER have this happen to me. He swore he loved me and our family. My second baby was born February after ALL of that.
November, my mom died and left me money. I find all that out after I put money on a house for us - Our first house. I made sure we were good. I made sure my baby had everything he could need. I didn’t even buy myself a new car (backstory I lost my good credit, my 2020 car and had one eviction in this marriage. I was almost $30,000 in debt after all of that. My husband made his bad credit good and how we got the house, too. He still has his car and no evictions on his name. We paid over $5,000 for his traffic tickets and court fees plus his debts.)
I could have left then but I was vulnerable because I was having another baby in two months.I feared all the time because I couldn’t get a job or keep one being pregnant and I worried about having one after because I wouldn’t make enough with him and me working would put us at a negative income. I tried building this website but I have yet to get sales. I knew I needed to get out but one last things I feared was breaking up my marriage. I thought he could get better for all his problems.
His anger reared its head again this past month. I found a book titled “Why did he do that.” My husband fits a lot of those examples of abusers. The book said the nice guy is the mask.
This time when he got angry, he said it was my fault he cheated on me. He said it’s a woman’s fault if a man cheats. He said that women need to keep a man happy. He said he had depression caused by me which he never mentioned before. He always said I made him happier than he ever has been in his life. I didn’t know about the cheating just like I didn’t know about the cause. He endlessly lied to me.
I went to his work and asked his boss about the girl he kissed. He is still lying. He said he told his boss what happened. His boss said they both said nothing when they came in for questioning. My husband got the word out and it turned into drama when those girls texted me.
My husband is two people. Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde. I just learned recently he has been reading my journals on my phone and texts between my sister. He read my reddit posts. He lied about this and kept it to himself. I feel like he may have planned trapping me in my marriage so I would have nothing. I feel like he is stalking me, too. I have 30K left locked up in a CD - he wants that when its available to pay off the credit cards in his name. We both spend on those cards for food and needs. I want to keep it as my nest just in case. He scares me sometimes. I feel like he may charm a judge when we fight for custody if I leave. I’m scared he will bring up the knife incident and the baker act (I was bakeracted last year when 5 months pregnant- he said he would cut me off financially and have me and our unborn baby fend for ourselves. I panicked and he was being a monster. I said he was hurting me and he said he didn’t care.) I told a cop I wanted to hurt myself but I wasn’t suicidal - I just feared my husband and wanted to get away from him. It was impulsive and I regretted saying it immediately. He was messing with my mind - he fake called the cops. Never dialed but acted out a conversation. I called right after.
I fear him. He is looking like a pscychopath to me or narcist - he pal ed his whole marriage and family around abuse and lies. He admitted to lying to keep me from leaving him on a few occassions. He would act like a little innocent and hurt boy. I could never see the abuser when he switched.
Would you be scared, too? Am I overthinking his lies and abuse? Do I need to get away now? I feel like no matter what I will never be free from him. My husband has once told me nobody will believe me. Everyone thinks I’m crazy - he said this right after convincing the cops that. (Time where he bent the truth to make it funny - the cops were sold.)
2024.05.22 01:22 ToadtheGreat21 Close friends didn’t wish me a happy birthday. Feeling a little hurt.
I took one of them out for their birthday, got them cupcakes, and wished them first thing in the morning. The other one I also wished same day, took her to an exclusive club, and got her a really nice spa gift certificate.
I wasn’t expecting gifts or anything but a simple happy birthday text would’ve been enough. I feel like that’s not too high of a bar.
submitted by ToadtheGreat21 to self [link] [comments]
I wasn’t expecting gifts or anything but a simple happy birthday text would’ve been enough. I feel like that’s not too high of a bar.
2024.05.22 01:22 Dapper_Raspberry8579 Momming while ADHD, tip at the end
Parents with ADHD: what kinds of kid-related obligations do you absolutely loathe? Mine are:
1) "Flat Stanley" or any kind of multi-step activity where the steps are spread out over time and involve going to the post office
2) birthday parties of kids whose parents I don't know
3) remembering to sign up for things that fill up months in advance
Thank-yous for kids' birthday party gifts used to be on this list, but I thought I'd share how I handle these now. Instead of opening presents at the party, we open afterward, I take video of my birthday kid opening the present, thanking the giver, and send a Google photos link to the parent. I've gotten really positive feedback from other parents since I started doing this, and it avoids the sensory-overload-nightmare of managing a room full of sweaty children yelling over each other while the birthday kid rips through presents a fast as possible and occasionally makes some lovely comment like, "I already have one of these!"
submitted by Dapper_Raspberry8579 to ADHD [link] [comments]
1) "Flat Stanley" or any kind of multi-step activity where the steps are spread out over time and involve going to the post office
2) birthday parties of kids whose parents I don't know
3) remembering to sign up for things that fill up months in advance
Thank-yous for kids' birthday party gifts used to be on this list, but I thought I'd share how I handle these now. Instead of opening presents at the party, we open afterward, I take video of my birthday kid opening the present, thanking the giver, and send a Google photos link to the parent. I've gotten really positive feedback from other parents since I started doing this, and it avoids the sensory-overload-nightmare of managing a room full of sweaty children yelling over each other while the birthday kid rips through presents a fast as possible and occasionally makes some lovely comment like, "I already have one of these!"
2024.05.22 01:17 Responsible-Pick7224 Not found, but I bought and cracked Mexican coconut from the local museum today and I’m not disappointed
 | Today is the gfs birthday so I took her to the Missouri Institute of Natural Science and let her pick out a gift from their little gift shop. She picked this out for $10, got right to cracking it as soon as we got home, and we are far from disappointed. Anyone local to the South West Missouri region MUST check out the Natural History Museum. Amazing collection of crystals, fossils, minerals, and an AMAZING gift shop. submitted by Responsible-Pick7224 to rockhounds [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:16 ElenorClemm AITHA for getting divorced because I was tired of insisting on couples therapy because of my postpartum depression and he wouldn't accept?
At the fisrt, sorry for my english, i'm a little oxidated, but i'll try my best. (it's not my original lenguaje)
But first, a little of context:
It's an story by 7 years. I did meet my (not still) ex-husband on a convention of Anime, i did in cossplayed by Electra and he was Tony Stark, he was had a girlfriend and I was in a toxit relationship (story i'll tell in other time). But in that day, i swear, i did wish had him, i did fall in love. We talk just a little moment, we take a photograph and we keep going with our lives.
One year latter, when i'd brake up my relationship, i fall down in a horrible depression and 1 try to unsiscribe by the life. I'd try to grow up and join a group of single peopple just search fun. I'd was surprised to find that boy again in that group.
Uno month latter, we'd be in a relationship. After two years, we was marrige. Whitout anything more than love, we start this new stage, in the night of weddings, i got pregnant.
At that moment, i wasn´t know i had anxiety and depression cronique, and during pregnancy it only gets worse, and our relationship wasn't the best, we fight a lot, especially because I felt very unprotected by my partner: when we went out there were men who made bad comments to me and I even had to walk home alone after work, not to mention that there were a couple of occasions in which, due to the times , I could only prepare food and run to work, without eating a bite, to be surprised when I returned that he alone finished the food without leaving me anything.
Added to that, the first four months of pregnancy and marriage, he was without work, I had to take care of the household alone; Added to this, to lighten the burden a little, a relative did us the favor of renting us well below the value he had, his house which was uninhabited. Imagine my shame when he asked for the rent and I didn't have the money to pay because my husband didn't go out looking for work. If they hadn't given him an ultimatum, he would have spent years like this, until he asked for a job at the only company where they don't fire anyone.
All of this caused me to spend the entire pregnancy stressed and worried.
The last straw was the day my baby was born, which coincided with my husband's birthday. I had a complicated birth, in which they had to do an emergency procedure: I was hospitalized for two full days, alone, without eating or drinking anything (For those who don't know, the medical service in Mexico is beyond terrible). Not to make it long, my birth was more than complicated; and my mortification was no less when all my relatives, when they were able to come see me, kept telling me how mortified they were, on the other hand my husband looked like a child at Christmas because they brought him gifts for his birthday, even my best friend from school.
When my baby was born, I was aware that I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to take some time to recover before returning to work. And for those who are wondering, it's not like I had a great job, our economic position was not good at all, but my depression only got worse since my baby was born, the complications of childbirth made me feel terribly guilty just thinking about it. that something could have happened to my baby.
Day after day, even though I did not work and did not contribute financially to the house, I made an effort to ensure that the little money that came into the house was enough for everything: milk, diapers and food. Despite everything, I always made sure to prepare a good breakfast and lunch for my husband to take to work, I got up before him so I could have that attention with him; Imagine my disappointment when he often returned with the food intact from when she prepared it for him and told me that he had preferred to buy something to eat. This only made me feel like I was useless. Added to the fact that on more than one occasion he even left the front door of the house open for us: a woman who had just had surgery and a newborn baby, in a neighborhood where, in open secret, it was hot for organized crime, added to the fact that I I felt insecure around him.
My family kept making comments to me about how bad my husband felt for me, how bad I looked (comments that I questioned, because my family never liked my husband). Despite the bad things, he had his attempts to be thoughtful and considerate (in the wrong way or causing me more problems, but I understood that it was his way of showing that he cared).
This was when I began to understand that my husband was like that, disconnected from reality, it was his shell of protection since he practically grew up in foster homes with "relatives" or "acquaintances", many of them were very violent and mistreated him, making him feel alone and vulnerable. I learned much of this from him, the rest his mother herself came to tell me and the rest was a matter of adding 2 + 2.
When I assimilated this and that the situation would not improve, when my baby turned 9 months old, I decided to look for a job, fortunately I found a way to work from what I studied (because yes, I have a degree), and with very humanitarian bosses. those who didn't even mind me occasionally taking my baby to teach classes with me (because yes, I ended up teaching at a basic level). Thanks to this, the situation at home improved a little, but the arguments did not stop over small things, more than anything everything he did or did not do bothered me. I guess it was because of the exhaustion of dealing with everything alone, and for anyone wondering, no, he practically didn't help me with the baby issues; With the household chores (just washing the dishes and sometimes sweeping the common areas), I took care of the rest, in addition to always making sure the house was safe for a one-year-old baby.
One of the breaking points for me (this occurs in the dark time of the pandemic when we all lock ourselves at home), your company was one of the last to send them to rest, however, since my sector was related to dealing with children, I was one of the first sectors to confine themselves to home, so now I was doing homme office. One morning I realized that the man not only lost the keys to the house, but he took mine to leave, locked them and left them stuck outside the door, leaving me locked in with my baby without the possibility of getting out if anything arose. emergency. If it hadn't been for my father, who came to visit me to see how he was doing, who knows what would have happened. Get an idea of how little he cared about the safety of his family.
These, among other things, added up over the years, until I began to ask him, as a last chance to save our marriage (because at this point, I felt broken and discouraged), I insisted that we seek help, couples therapy or at least individual therapy, but he didn't listen to me or wasn't interested. Until the first time I packed my and my baby's things, he realized that I was serious and that I would leave him, he still didn't want therapy, not even when I was honest with him and told him that there were many things that I couldn't do. forgive him, especially for the pregnancy; What did happen was that he began to collaborate more at home and finally began to take responsibilities with our son.
The facts:
What ended up being the final break was a day of extreme heat, where the weather was useless and there were no technicians operating in the area. My son, now 3 years old, is very hot and in any heat his nose tends to bleed a lot, especially that weekend he was very tired, despite that, the only solution I could think of was to put the pool inside the house ( to avoid having it under the sun), I clarify that at that time we lived in a small two-bedroom apartment, which yes, I admit was an impractical solution but it was the only thing that occurred to me. Even before I did it, I notified him of what I was trying to do, not to ask for permission, but just to notify him so he wouldn't be taken by surprise.
When he got home, he didn't say hello, he didn't say anything, he just left his things and left the house to get a taxi. When I caught up with him to ask him, he said he was going to his mother's house to get an air conditioning unit that he planned to bring to install to solve the problem, to which I gave him my list of problems with it, because we didn't have permission to make modifications to begin with. Thus in the department, adding the amount of electricity it used, transportation, among others. To which he also responded with his list of drawbacks that he saw with my solution. The point is that the argument escalated and ended with him throwing the water into the garden and me locking myself in the room with my daughter, enduring the heat of the day.
Neither of us spoke to each other the rest of the day, in the morning, the first thing I did was pack my things and my baby's things discreetly. I called my parents to tell them what had happened and they were more than willing to receive us (something that did not make me so calm because, yes, one of the reasons why I married him in a hurry was that my parents were a cornerstone of my anxiety and depression).
The next night, with my things packed, I waited for my husband to drop the bomb, tell him that he was leaving with our son, he cried a lot, he begged me for another chance; That time I didn't shed a single tear, not because I didn't love him, despite everything, I followed him and I still love him, but I realized that I was loving him more than I loved me and my daughter. . I didn't cry because I spent years crying alone and falling asleep with tears.
I asked him if he would prefer to end the relationship peacefully, where we could still rescue our friendship, before reaching a point where I couldn't even tolerate seeing him.
That was the only time when he finally said that he would take therapy, but I no longer believed him. I know he did it just to convince me, but in the end he wasn't going to do it. So I decided to leave the next day with my things. It was the last time we talked about it.
At the moment:
We have a year apart, we decided to give ourselves a few months to settle in and calm our spirits. Despite this, we have still kept in touch through our daughter, when it is her turn to visit or when she brings him an errand.
I don't deny that I still love him, and now I'm the one who would like our marriage to be fixed, but he is the first to say that he feels better now.
Now that I am living with my parents, my symptoms of anxiety and depression have not improved at all, on the contrary. I don't know if I ever feel like going back to him was a desperate attempt to get out of my parents' house, because he was the only person who made me feel understood and that there was nothing wrong with being who I was (I did). which has mainly contributed to my mental health), because I clarify, my son has a disability and since his diagnosis, he has not contributed much either, I have been with the support of my family in the face of that, but not with my ex-husband or the his family, so I use practically all of my salary on my son and his basic needs; His father gives me alimony for him, but only the equivalent of $20 dollars a week, against medication a month that costs about $100, plus his therapies and special attention.
So I ask.
AITAH for asking my husband for a divorce for refusing to go to therapy?
I really appreciate that you take the time, I know that it is not a short or brief story, I will try to answer your questions in the comments if I have not been clear in any aspect. Right now I'm a mess, I'm discouraged because my situation is currently not good, my profession wears me out emotionally and mentally, added to the condition of my son who makes me feel like I'm not doing things right...
I need to know that there is something in life that I haven't done so badly. In advance, thank you Reddit community.
submitted by ElenorClemm to AITAH [link] [comments]
But first, a little of context:
It's an story by 7 years. I did meet my (not still) ex-husband on a convention of Anime, i did in cossplayed by Electra and he was Tony Stark, he was had a girlfriend and I was in a toxit relationship (story i'll tell in other time). But in that day, i swear, i did wish had him, i did fall in love. We talk just a little moment, we take a photograph and we keep going with our lives.
One year latter, when i'd brake up my relationship, i fall down in a horrible depression and 1 try to unsiscribe by the life. I'd try to grow up and join a group of single peopple just search fun. I'd was surprised to find that boy again in that group.
Uno month latter, we'd be in a relationship. After two years, we was marrige. Whitout anything more than love, we start this new stage, in the night of weddings, i got pregnant.
At that moment, i wasn´t know i had anxiety and depression cronique, and during pregnancy it only gets worse, and our relationship wasn't the best, we fight a lot, especially because I felt very unprotected by my partner: when we went out there were men who made bad comments to me and I even had to walk home alone after work, not to mention that there were a couple of occasions in which, due to the times , I could only prepare food and run to work, without eating a bite, to be surprised when I returned that he alone finished the food without leaving me anything.
Added to that, the first four months of pregnancy and marriage, he was without work, I had to take care of the household alone; Added to this, to lighten the burden a little, a relative did us the favor of renting us well below the value he had, his house which was uninhabited. Imagine my shame when he asked for the rent and I didn't have the money to pay because my husband didn't go out looking for work. If they hadn't given him an ultimatum, he would have spent years like this, until he asked for a job at the only company where they don't fire anyone.
All of this caused me to spend the entire pregnancy stressed and worried.
The last straw was the day my baby was born, which coincided with my husband's birthday. I had a complicated birth, in which they had to do an emergency procedure: I was hospitalized for two full days, alone, without eating or drinking anything (For those who don't know, the medical service in Mexico is beyond terrible). Not to make it long, my birth was more than complicated; and my mortification was no less when all my relatives, when they were able to come see me, kept telling me how mortified they were, on the other hand my husband looked like a child at Christmas because they brought him gifts for his birthday, even my best friend from school.
When my baby was born, I was aware that I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to take some time to recover before returning to work. And for those who are wondering, it's not like I had a great job, our economic position was not good at all, but my depression only got worse since my baby was born, the complications of childbirth made me feel terribly guilty just thinking about it. that something could have happened to my baby.
Day after day, even though I did not work and did not contribute financially to the house, I made an effort to ensure that the little money that came into the house was enough for everything: milk, diapers and food. Despite everything, I always made sure to prepare a good breakfast and lunch for my husband to take to work, I got up before him so I could have that attention with him; Imagine my disappointment when he often returned with the food intact from when she prepared it for him and told me that he had preferred to buy something to eat. This only made me feel like I was useless. Added to the fact that on more than one occasion he even left the front door of the house open for us: a woman who had just had surgery and a newborn baby, in a neighborhood where, in open secret, it was hot for organized crime, added to the fact that I I felt insecure around him.
My family kept making comments to me about how bad my husband felt for me, how bad I looked (comments that I questioned, because my family never liked my husband). Despite the bad things, he had his attempts to be thoughtful and considerate (in the wrong way or causing me more problems, but I understood that it was his way of showing that he cared).
This was when I began to understand that my husband was like that, disconnected from reality, it was his shell of protection since he practically grew up in foster homes with "relatives" or "acquaintances", many of them were very violent and mistreated him, making him feel alone and vulnerable. I learned much of this from him, the rest his mother herself came to tell me and the rest was a matter of adding 2 + 2.
When I assimilated this and that the situation would not improve, when my baby turned 9 months old, I decided to look for a job, fortunately I found a way to work from what I studied (because yes, I have a degree), and with very humanitarian bosses. those who didn't even mind me occasionally taking my baby to teach classes with me (because yes, I ended up teaching at a basic level). Thanks to this, the situation at home improved a little, but the arguments did not stop over small things, more than anything everything he did or did not do bothered me. I guess it was because of the exhaustion of dealing with everything alone, and for anyone wondering, no, he practically didn't help me with the baby issues; With the household chores (just washing the dishes and sometimes sweeping the common areas), I took care of the rest, in addition to always making sure the house was safe for a one-year-old baby.
One of the breaking points for me (this occurs in the dark time of the pandemic when we all lock ourselves at home), your company was one of the last to send them to rest, however, since my sector was related to dealing with children, I was one of the first sectors to confine themselves to home, so now I was doing homme office. One morning I realized that the man not only lost the keys to the house, but he took mine to leave, locked them and left them stuck outside the door, leaving me locked in with my baby without the possibility of getting out if anything arose. emergency. If it hadn't been for my father, who came to visit me to see how he was doing, who knows what would have happened. Get an idea of how little he cared about the safety of his family.
These, among other things, added up over the years, until I began to ask him, as a last chance to save our marriage (because at this point, I felt broken and discouraged), I insisted that we seek help, couples therapy or at least individual therapy, but he didn't listen to me or wasn't interested. Until the first time I packed my and my baby's things, he realized that I was serious and that I would leave him, he still didn't want therapy, not even when I was honest with him and told him that there were many things that I couldn't do. forgive him, especially for the pregnancy; What did happen was that he began to collaborate more at home and finally began to take responsibilities with our son.
The facts:
What ended up being the final break was a day of extreme heat, where the weather was useless and there were no technicians operating in the area. My son, now 3 years old, is very hot and in any heat his nose tends to bleed a lot, especially that weekend he was very tired, despite that, the only solution I could think of was to put the pool inside the house ( to avoid having it under the sun), I clarify that at that time we lived in a small two-bedroom apartment, which yes, I admit was an impractical solution but it was the only thing that occurred to me. Even before I did it, I notified him of what I was trying to do, not to ask for permission, but just to notify him so he wouldn't be taken by surprise.
When he got home, he didn't say hello, he didn't say anything, he just left his things and left the house to get a taxi. When I caught up with him to ask him, he said he was going to his mother's house to get an air conditioning unit that he planned to bring to install to solve the problem, to which I gave him my list of problems with it, because we didn't have permission to make modifications to begin with. Thus in the department, adding the amount of electricity it used, transportation, among others. To which he also responded with his list of drawbacks that he saw with my solution. The point is that the argument escalated and ended with him throwing the water into the garden and me locking myself in the room with my daughter, enduring the heat of the day.
Neither of us spoke to each other the rest of the day, in the morning, the first thing I did was pack my things and my baby's things discreetly. I called my parents to tell them what had happened and they were more than willing to receive us (something that did not make me so calm because, yes, one of the reasons why I married him in a hurry was that my parents were a cornerstone of my anxiety and depression).
The next night, with my things packed, I waited for my husband to drop the bomb, tell him that he was leaving with our son, he cried a lot, he begged me for another chance; That time I didn't shed a single tear, not because I didn't love him, despite everything, I followed him and I still love him, but I realized that I was loving him more than I loved me and my daughter. . I didn't cry because I spent years crying alone and falling asleep with tears.
I asked him if he would prefer to end the relationship peacefully, where we could still rescue our friendship, before reaching a point where I couldn't even tolerate seeing him.
That was the only time when he finally said that he would take therapy, but I no longer believed him. I know he did it just to convince me, but in the end he wasn't going to do it. So I decided to leave the next day with my things. It was the last time we talked about it.
At the moment:
We have a year apart, we decided to give ourselves a few months to settle in and calm our spirits. Despite this, we have still kept in touch through our daughter, when it is her turn to visit or when she brings him an errand.
I don't deny that I still love him, and now I'm the one who would like our marriage to be fixed, but he is the first to say that he feels better now.
Now that I am living with my parents, my symptoms of anxiety and depression have not improved at all, on the contrary. I don't know if I ever feel like going back to him was a desperate attempt to get out of my parents' house, because he was the only person who made me feel understood and that there was nothing wrong with being who I was (I did). which has mainly contributed to my mental health), because I clarify, my son has a disability and since his diagnosis, he has not contributed much either, I have been with the support of my family in the face of that, but not with my ex-husband or the his family, so I use practically all of my salary on my son and his basic needs; His father gives me alimony for him, but only the equivalent of $20 dollars a week, against medication a month that costs about $100, plus his therapies and special attention.
So I ask.
AITAH for asking my husband for a divorce for refusing to go to therapy?
I really appreciate that you take the time, I know that it is not a short or brief story, I will try to answer your questions in the comments if I have not been clear in any aspect. Right now I'm a mess, I'm discouraged because my situation is currently not good, my profession wears me out emotionally and mentally, added to the condition of my son who makes me feel like I'm not doing things right...
I need to know that there is something in life that I haven't done so badly. In advance, thank you Reddit community.
2024.05.22 01:14 PurgatoryKey How To Restart A Confrontation That Went Off The Rails
Some context: My friend isn't a good listener, which has hurt me particularly when I tried to talk about sensitive topics and she'd either forget (ex: i had to come out to her twice) or bulldoze it with another topic. It's not malicious, I just think she's scatterbrained and it's hard to keep her attention. I talked about this with her a year ago and she said she'd work on it.
Fast forward to now, I haven't seen any improvement and it's caused some issues again. I tried to talk about it with her again, starting with something relatively small that happened on my birthday and I was hoping to lead it into other examples but it's lead to an argument and I had to cut it off because we were both clearly frustrated and it wasn't going anywhere. She agreed to talking about it again another day this week.
How do I restart the conversation later so that I'm able to talk about how I feel completely without it derailing? How can I make it more productive?
I also ended it with saying how I felt like I'm still not being listened to but she insists she is listening. I regret it because that could've easily gone into another back and forth that wouldn't have made any progress even though I was trying to be honest.
submitted by PurgatoryKey to Advice [link] [comments]
Fast forward to now, I haven't seen any improvement and it's caused some issues again. I tried to talk about it with her again, starting with something relatively small that happened on my birthday and I was hoping to lead it into other examples but it's lead to an argument and I had to cut it off because we were both clearly frustrated and it wasn't going anywhere. She agreed to talking about it again another day this week.
How do I restart the conversation later so that I'm able to talk about how I feel completely without it derailing? How can I make it more productive?
I also ended it with saying how I felt like I'm still not being listened to but she insists she is listening. I regret it because that could've easily gone into another back and forth that wouldn't have made any progress even though I was trying to be honest.
2024.05.22 01:14 nothrowawayusername How long did your BAB's take to arrive to Canada?
I ordered the capybara and some clothes and scents as a birthday gift for my boyfriend. I tried ordering weeks before in time for his birthday (May 29th), but couldn't process the transaction as the website had "too many orders coming in" or something like that, probably due to graduation time?
I tried again on the 15th and finally processed the order and got an email confirmation. I know it's only been 4 business days but I thought I'd get another email by now that they'd at least make it. I understand I'm in Canada and there's so few build a bear's up here. I'm worried I won't get it in time for his birthday, but its okay if not. For those in Canada how long did it take to get your order?
submitted by nothrowawayusername to buildabear [link] [comments]
I tried again on the 15th and finally processed the order and got an email confirmation. I know it's only been 4 business days but I thought I'd get another email by now that they'd at least make it. I understand I'm in Canada and there's so few build a bear's up here. I'm worried I won't get it in time for his birthday, but its okay if not. For those in Canada how long did it take to get your order?
2024.05.22 01:12 SabaBrain Place to Find Dusty Bourbon Bottles (1964)
Looking for a bottle for my father in laws birthday, would like to get something distilled or bottled on his birth year 1964.
Keeping my eye on unicorn, as well as several other online auction houses. Have reached out to Revival Vintage Bottle Shop in Covington KY.
I would like to be exhaustive in the search as presently there seems to only be one 1964 at auction and then a handful across some online stores (however their valuations seem very high)
Anybody know of any brick and mortars along the east coast (SC, GA, FL, TN, KY, WV) that deal in Dusties? Or any tips on where else to look would be appreciated!
Also, primitively, I am aware in some peoples opinion “there are plenty of great bottles on the shelf right now theres no need to buy that old a bottle it wont even be that good”. This is a sentiment gift as it is a milestone birthday.
submitted by SabaBrain to whiskey [link] [comments]
Keeping my eye on unicorn, as well as several other online auction houses. Have reached out to Revival Vintage Bottle Shop in Covington KY.
I would like to be exhaustive in the search as presently there seems to only be one 1964 at auction and then a handful across some online stores (however their valuations seem very high)
Anybody know of any brick and mortars along the east coast (SC, GA, FL, TN, KY, WV) that deal in Dusties? Or any tips on where else to look would be appreciated!
Also, primitively, I am aware in some peoples opinion “there are plenty of great bottles on the shelf right now theres no need to buy that old a bottle it wont even be that good”. This is a sentiment gift as it is a milestone birthday.
2024.05.22 01:10 ThrowRabcwhy My [18F]fiance [18M] yelled at me for defending myself against his bosses sexual harassment. should I apologize?
Hey.. I'm recently 18 and my fiance is also 18. I honestly can't share a whole lot of the details around this story. I'm terrified of being caught. I'll probably delete this post later.
My family, we'll they're apart of this.. Cult. I never understood it. I just thought we were normal Christians, but when I was 8 my sister who was only 16 was married off to this guy Chris, and when I was 9 the same thing happened to my other sister when she was 16. This happened again when I was 11. I knew I was next.
When I was 15 my marriage was arranged with this.. Guy. His name was Bill, he was 32. He was an church gower and was suggested by our pastor. I got to meet him a couple times and he was nice. I didn't want to marry him but I had no choice.
I married him the day after my 16th birthday. When I went home with him... I hated it. He wasnt nice anymore. He was married previously to a girl at our church, but he divorced her for "being broken" apparently she was Infertile and after 7 ish months of trying he gave up. But she got remarried immediately with this other guy and she's pregnant..
He immediately tried to Impregnate me. But after a few months he was getting impatient. I think he was realizing that maybe he was the problem.
Bill had a step brother, Gerry. Gerry was an angel... Bill and Gerry were estranged. Their mother had an affair with a darker man, and Gerry was born, it was obvious this was an affair baby. He was dark. I don't want to reveal any details about my location but..dark people are treated badly here. I barely see any..and when I do.. They're on the streets.
Gerry was a saint despite all the hardship growing up.. He was disgusted with his brother and I'd always hear him insulting and ridiculing him.. Anytime he came over he'd take me aside and make sure I was okay.. He was so sweet.. One time when Bill was working late.. Me and Gerry slept together. He was slow.. Careful. I loved it.
That's when I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was Gerry's,but Bill was happy. Gerry knew, I knew. Bill didn't.
It was Gerry's birthday a month ago. He was 18.
Gerry took me aside and asked if I wanted to leave and have a family with him. I didn't even think, I just said yes. I packed my stuff and snuck out two weeks later.
It took a while but we moved far and got an apartment. It was all of Gerry's savings. We were safe for now. It's scary because I was still a minor for one more month. We just need to be quiet and lay low. We were running out of funds so Gerry got a job. It was VERY hard due to the racism and horrible stereotypes Gerry was suffering with.. But he got a job! I was so proud.
I found out Gerry left to go to work in a hurry and forgot his lunch. He'd usually take just a sandwich. He works so hard so I spent 30 minutes making him a way better and nutritional lunch, then brought it to him, I hadn't been out in a while.
I arrived during lunch and Gerry greeted me with a kiss. We were chatting when I gave him his lunch. His work partners were saying how lucky he was, then his boss came over. I introduced myself and he put his hand on my arm and said Gerry was a lucky guy.
Gerry put his arm around me and laughed it off, he said that we were planning my 18th birthday. I think he said this to let the boss know I wasn't over 18 so he'd stop. But he didn't. He put his hand on my chin.. I got flashbacks to Bill.. He used to do that. So I slapped him. I didn't mean to.
Gerry grabbed my arm and pulled me away, apologizing profusely to his boss. He asked me to go. So I left.. Gerry came home a few hours. He seemed distant. I asked and he got really mad.. He didn't yell. But he was definitely angry. He said that he was in deep trouble, and that he understood that what his boss did was disgusting, but he struggled so hard to get a job due to the prejudice and racism. He held my hands and said that he NEEDED this job for me and the baby. He was crying by the end of it. He wiped his tears and gave me a half hearted apology. He slept on the couch and we haven't talked since..
Didn't do something wrong? I think maybe I should go back and apologize to his boss.. Gerry works so hard.. And even though it doesn't seek like it.. He's so genuine. He brings me home flowers every day that he sees on his trail home. He's so excited to meet our baby girl. (He's certain it's a girl)
Thoughts.?
submitted by ThrowRabcwhy to Advice [link] [comments]
My family, we'll they're apart of this.. Cult. I never understood it. I just thought we were normal Christians, but when I was 8 my sister who was only 16 was married off to this guy Chris, and when I was 9 the same thing happened to my other sister when she was 16. This happened again when I was 11. I knew I was next.
When I was 15 my marriage was arranged with this.. Guy. His name was Bill, he was 32. He was an church gower and was suggested by our pastor. I got to meet him a couple times and he was nice. I didn't want to marry him but I had no choice.
I married him the day after my 16th birthday. When I went home with him... I hated it. He wasnt nice anymore. He was married previously to a girl at our church, but he divorced her for "being broken" apparently she was Infertile and after 7 ish months of trying he gave up. But she got remarried immediately with this other guy and she's pregnant..
He immediately tried to Impregnate me. But after a few months he was getting impatient. I think he was realizing that maybe he was the problem.
Bill had a step brother, Gerry. Gerry was an angel... Bill and Gerry were estranged. Their mother had an affair with a darker man, and Gerry was born, it was obvious this was an affair baby. He was dark. I don't want to reveal any details about my location but..dark people are treated badly here. I barely see any..and when I do.. They're on the streets.
Gerry was a saint despite all the hardship growing up.. He was disgusted with his brother and I'd always hear him insulting and ridiculing him.. Anytime he came over he'd take me aside and make sure I was okay.. He was so sweet.. One time when Bill was working late.. Me and Gerry slept together. He was slow.. Careful. I loved it.
That's when I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was Gerry's,but Bill was happy. Gerry knew, I knew. Bill didn't.
It was Gerry's birthday a month ago. He was 18.
Gerry took me aside and asked if I wanted to leave and have a family with him. I didn't even think, I just said yes. I packed my stuff and snuck out two weeks later.
It took a while but we moved far and got an apartment. It was all of Gerry's savings. We were safe for now. It's scary because I was still a minor for one more month. We just need to be quiet and lay low. We were running out of funds so Gerry got a job. It was VERY hard due to the racism and horrible stereotypes Gerry was suffering with.. But he got a job! I was so proud.
I found out Gerry left to go to work in a hurry and forgot his lunch. He'd usually take just a sandwich. He works so hard so I spent 30 minutes making him a way better and nutritional lunch, then brought it to him, I hadn't been out in a while.
I arrived during lunch and Gerry greeted me with a kiss. We were chatting when I gave him his lunch. His work partners were saying how lucky he was, then his boss came over. I introduced myself and he put his hand on my arm and said Gerry was a lucky guy.
Gerry put his arm around me and laughed it off, he said that we were planning my 18th birthday. I think he said this to let the boss know I wasn't over 18 so he'd stop. But he didn't. He put his hand on my chin.. I got flashbacks to Bill.. He used to do that. So I slapped him. I didn't mean to.
Gerry grabbed my arm and pulled me away, apologizing profusely to his boss. He asked me to go. So I left.. Gerry came home a few hours. He seemed distant. I asked and he got really mad.. He didn't yell. But he was definitely angry. He said that he was in deep trouble, and that he understood that what his boss did was disgusting, but he struggled so hard to get a job due to the prejudice and racism. He held my hands and said that he NEEDED this job for me and the baby. He was crying by the end of it. He wiped his tears and gave me a half hearted apology. He slept on the couch and we haven't talked since..
Didn't do something wrong? I think maybe I should go back and apologize to his boss.. Gerry works so hard.. And even though it doesn't seek like it.. He's so genuine. He brings me home flowers every day that he sees on his trail home. He's so excited to meet our baby girl. (He's certain it's a girl)
Thoughts.?
2024.05.22 01:06 ThrowRabcwhy My [18F]fiance [18M] yelled at me for defending myself against his bosses sexual harassment. should I apologize?
Hey.. I'm recently 18 and my fiance is also 18. I honestly can't share a whole lot of the details around this story. I'm terrified of being caught. I'll probably delete this post later.
My family, we'll they're apart of this.. Cult. I never understood it. I just thought we were normal Christians, but when I was 8 my sister who was only 16 was married off to this guy Chris, and when I was 9 the same thing happened to my other sister when she was 16. This happened again when I was 11. I knew I was next.
When I was 15 my marriage was arranged with this.. Guy. His name was Bill, he was 32. He was an church gower and was suggested by our pastor. I got to meet him a couple times and he was nice. I didn't want to marry him but I had no choice.
I married him the day after my 16th birthday. When I went home with him... I hated it. He wasnt nice anymore. He was married previously to a girl at our church, but he divorced her for "being broken" apparently she was Infertile and after 7 ish months of trying he gave up. But she got remarried immediately with this other guy and she's pregnant..
He immediately tried to Impregnate me. But after a few months he was getting impatient. I think he was realizing that maybe he was the problem.
Bill had a step brother, Gerry. Gerry was an angel... Bill and Gerry were estranged. Their mother had an affair with a darker man, and Gerry was born, it was obvious this was an affair baby. He was dark. I don't want to reveal any details about my location but..dark people are treated badly here. I barely see any..and when I do.. They're on the streets.
Gerry was a saint despite all the hardship growing up.. He was disgusted with his brother and I'd always hear him insulting and ridiculing him.. Anytime he came over he'd take me aside and make sure I was okay.. He was so sweet.. One time when Bill was working late.. Me and Gerry slept together. He was slow.. Careful. I loved it.
That's when I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was Gerry's,but Bill was happy. Gerry knew, I knew. Bill didn't.
It was Gerry's birthday a month ago. He was 18.
Gerry took me aside and asked if I wanted to leave and have a family with him. I didn't even think, I just said yes. I packed my stuff and snuck out two weeks later.
It took a while but we moved far and got an apartment. It was all of Gerry's savings. We were safe for now. It's scary because I was still a minor for one more month. We just need to be quiet and lay low. We were running out of funds so Gerry got a job. It was VERY hard due to the racism and horrible stereotypes Gerry was suffering with.. But he got a job! I was so proud.
I found out Gerry left to go to work in a hurry and forgot his lunch. He'd usually take just a sandwich. He works so hard so I spent 30 minutes making him a way better and nutritional lunch, then brought it to him, I hadn't been out in a while.
I arrived during lunch and Gerry greeted me with a kiss. We were chatting when I gave him his lunch. His work partners were saying how lucky he was, then his boss came over. I introduced myself and he put his hand on my arm and said Gerry was a lucky guy.
Gerry put his arm around me and laughed it off, he said that we were planning my 18th birthday. I think he said this to let the boss know I wasn't over 18 so he'd stop. But he didn't. He put his hand on my chin.. I got flashbacks to Bill.. He used to do that. So I slapped him. I didn't mean to.
Gerry grabbed my arm and pulled me away, apologizing profusely to his boss. He asked me to go. So I left.. Gerry came home a few hours. He seemed distant. I asked and he got really mad.. He didn't yell. But he was definitely angry. He said that he was in deep trouble, and that he understood that what his boss did was disgusting, but he struggled so hard to get a job due to the prejudice and racism. He held my hands and said that he NEEDED this job for me and the baby. He was crying by the end of it. He wiped his tears and gave me a half hearted apology. He slept on the couch and we haven't talked since..
Didn't do something wrong? I think maybe I should go back and apologize to his boss.. Gerry works so hard.. And even though it doesn't seek like it.. He's so genuine. He brings me home flowers every day that he sees on his trail home. He's so excited to meet our baby girl. (He's certain it's a girl)
Thoughts.?
submitted by ThrowRabcwhy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
My family, we'll they're apart of this.. Cult. I never understood it. I just thought we were normal Christians, but when I was 8 my sister who was only 16 was married off to this guy Chris, and when I was 9 the same thing happened to my other sister when she was 16. This happened again when I was 11. I knew I was next.
When I was 15 my marriage was arranged with this.. Guy. His name was Bill, he was 32. He was an church gower and was suggested by our pastor. I got to meet him a couple times and he was nice. I didn't want to marry him but I had no choice.
I married him the day after my 16th birthday. When I went home with him... I hated it. He wasnt nice anymore. He was married previously to a girl at our church, but he divorced her for "being broken" apparently she was Infertile and after 7 ish months of trying he gave up. But she got remarried immediately with this other guy and she's pregnant..
He immediately tried to Impregnate me. But after a few months he was getting impatient. I think he was realizing that maybe he was the problem.
Bill had a step brother, Gerry. Gerry was an angel... Bill and Gerry were estranged. Their mother had an affair with a darker man, and Gerry was born, it was obvious this was an affair baby. He was dark. I don't want to reveal any details about my location but..dark people are treated badly here. I barely see any..and when I do.. They're on the streets.
Gerry was a saint despite all the hardship growing up.. He was disgusted with his brother and I'd always hear him insulting and ridiculing him.. Anytime he came over he'd take me aside and make sure I was okay.. He was so sweet.. One time when Bill was working late.. Me and Gerry slept together. He was slow.. Careful. I loved it.
That's when I found out I was pregnant. I knew it was Gerry's,but Bill was happy. Gerry knew, I knew. Bill didn't.
It was Gerry's birthday a month ago. He was 18.
Gerry took me aside and asked if I wanted to leave and have a family with him. I didn't even think, I just said yes. I packed my stuff and snuck out two weeks later.
It took a while but we moved far and got an apartment. It was all of Gerry's savings. We were safe for now. It's scary because I was still a minor for one more month. We just need to be quiet and lay low. We were running out of funds so Gerry got a job. It was VERY hard due to the racism and horrible stereotypes Gerry was suffering with.. But he got a job! I was so proud.
I found out Gerry left to go to work in a hurry and forgot his lunch. He'd usually take just a sandwich. He works so hard so I spent 30 minutes making him a way better and nutritional lunch, then brought it to him, I hadn't been out in a while.
I arrived during lunch and Gerry greeted me with a kiss. We were chatting when I gave him his lunch. His work partners were saying how lucky he was, then his boss came over. I introduced myself and he put his hand on my arm and said Gerry was a lucky guy.
Gerry put his arm around me and laughed it off, he said that we were planning my 18th birthday. I think he said this to let the boss know I wasn't over 18 so he'd stop. But he didn't. He put his hand on my chin.. I got flashbacks to Bill.. He used to do that. So I slapped him. I didn't mean to.
Gerry grabbed my arm and pulled me away, apologizing profusely to his boss. He asked me to go. So I left.. Gerry came home a few hours. He seemed distant. I asked and he got really mad.. He didn't yell. But he was definitely angry. He said that he was in deep trouble, and that he understood that what his boss did was disgusting, but he struggled so hard to get a job due to the prejudice and racism. He held my hands and said that he NEEDED this job for me and the baby. He was crying by the end of it. He wiped his tears and gave me a half hearted apology. He slept on the couch and we haven't talked since..
Didn't do something wrong? I think maybe I should go back and apologize to his boss.. Gerry works so hard.. And even though it doesn't seek like it.. He's so genuine. He brings me home flowers every day that he sees on his trail home. He's so excited to meet our baby girl. (He's certain it's a girl)
Thoughts.?
2024.05.22 01:03 JimCripe Giuliani SHUT DOWN by Law Enforcement DURING HIS OWN PARTY to Guests’ SCREAMS
 | After taunting law enforcement about his EVADING SERVICE of his Arizona fake elector criminal indictment, twice indicted Rudy Giuliani was SERVED BY ARIZONA LAW ENFORCEMENT AT HIS 80th BIRTHDAY PARTY in advance of next week’s contempt hearing against him, to SCREAMS from party guests. Michael Popok discusses what happened and what exactly happened to Rudy’s Amazon gift registry of presents! submitted by JimCripe to MeidasTouch [link] [comments] |
2024.05.22 01:02 AcceptableAd3231 Miquella will be the new Marika and the last boss at the end of the DLC.
 | The title is really meant to draw attention, and I didn't exaggerate it. submitted by AcceptableAd3231 to EldenRingLoreTalk [link] [comments] I'm going to list off the top of my head everything I remember about the characters and with your help we're going to discuss how crazy I am, based on the current items in the game plus the trailer that came out today. I will be using the descriptions of the game's current items and the 2 DLC trailers as a basis for hypothesis. First of all, Miquella's character is summed up in the obsession with finding a cure for the scarlet rot that afflicts Malenia, where the sister cites him with all possible honors, in addition his obsession with the gold he has is not common, a time he produced the Unalloyed Gold Needle that we restored in Millicent's quest. "My brother will keep his promise. He possesses the wisdom, the allure, of a god - he is the most fearsome Empyrean of all." - Malenia "Metal greatshield depicting the Haligtree with unalloyed gold. Carried by knights who have vowed to serve Miquella's Haligtree." - HALIGTREE CREST GREATSHIELD He studied the "laws" of the Golden Order, saw that his mother's Golden Order was not giving results and abandoned everything, creating his own tree in the giants' forbidden lands. "A gift from the young Miquella to his father, Radagon." - Discus of Light However, it wasn't fruitful as he expected and the tree, like him, didn't grow to become an adult, ironic as hell since he also doesn't grow because of the Curse he has. We now know that, much like Ranni, he gave the "middle finger" to his own mother's ambitions: -He abandoned his own body. -He abandoned his rightful lineage. -He abandoned his own Shard from the Elden Ring he got. -He abandoned his own fate as St. Trina. However, Miquella went much further, Ranni at the end of her story still had the Black Moon as a reference and Outer God, she was still tied to the fate of the stars like her mother, that's why we need to defeat General Raddahn to unlock her questline. And there would be the most plot of all, Miquella giving up everything and following in her mother's footsteps on how to become a new Vessel of a new Elden Ring, to finally get the Gold needed to seal the presence of the Scarlet Rot that afflicts Malenia. The cause of Malenia's suffering being the very presence of an Outer God, there is no other way for him to resolve this, if Miquella had access to Farem Azula to be able to use the needle with the help of the stone scales of the ancient dragons, however it was never was acess. In this case, the only one who has access to that place is Marika's Shadow. In short, the only alternative for him to fulfill his promise to his sister and take away her suffering is for him to become something with the same status as Marika, to change the laws of the world as she did, banishing the death of her for example, he could banish the presence or kill the Outer God of Rot. Him having access to this parallel "world"/"space" that Marika tried to hide is very plausible, as he has free access to the missbegotten. If he himself tells this story at the "beginning", "betrayal" and that the result of all this was "Gold", there is no way he won't be the final boss, it will be a shot in the foot, all the materials released are to exalt and show how pure he is, It's going to be THE PLOT when this plan backfires, Miyazaki style. https://preview.redd.it/er09b4f81v1d1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=de11ad3aa4c6719d77943d1682869006a9baeb9f |
2024.05.22 01:01 Confident_Peach2634 AITA for being done with my selfish family
I (34 f) am feeling so incredibly done with my entire family especially my father and occasionally my sister (30 f). So a little back story, my father cheated on my mother when we were very young 6 and 2 and left the family. My father was an angry person and before and after abusive to my mother in general. Eventually, I stopped seeing my father for a bit and CPS got involved because he was abusive towards me (not my sister). I did my best to hide my sister when he was being abusive and at various times cops were called etc.
Then the worst happened, my mom died from a medical mistake (they let her out of the hospital early without recognizing that she had a severe infection) and I was home alone with her (and my sister who I hid in the kitchen so she could not see it). It was horrible. I was 13, sister 9. We moved in with my father (he had got counselling and was allowed to see us again before this) things were hellish for me and my teenage years were rife with abuse. I moved out when I was 18. My sister is the golden child and he was better to her, but I still feel bad for leaving her alone. I just couldn't do it anymore. I worked on my relationships with them and tried to forgive but they still bully me when together. My sister has little to no idea of the true horrors of our early childhood, but I'm sure it effects her subconsciously but I think she blames me. For example I got married to my wonderful husband who I met in a different country while doing my PhD there (we still live here). We got married in my home country and made a huge deal out of her being my MOH because I thought we had healed. Meanwhile when she got married, she did not make me her MOH and completely destroyed my feelings.
The two of them also ruined the night of my bridal shower by picking petty fights with me and making me sob. (Believe me, I am well aware this is a toxic trait). The two of them act like I am not a real person a lot of the time, and that I am a burden/mess/stupid etc. I send Christmas gifts and visit often, nothing is reciprocated. They have not visited me in 5 years (I understand Covid happened and I did not want my dad getting on a plane at the time). But after vaccines and such he hasn't even tried to come. My husband and I have spent over 12 grand on covid tests and plane tickets to go see him. Well, he promised he would come this year, and he just got a job (out of work for two years because his job shut down). I totally get that, but once again he can't come. I understand the job thing but it feels like the boy who cried wolf. I'm sorry I just needed a vent and feel totally defeated. I'm constantly gaslighted and suffer so much anxiety and self doubt. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
submitted by Confident_Peach2634 to MarkNarrations [link] [comments]
Then the worst happened, my mom died from a medical mistake (they let her out of the hospital early without recognizing that she had a severe infection) and I was home alone with her (and my sister who I hid in the kitchen so she could not see it). It was horrible. I was 13, sister 9. We moved in with my father (he had got counselling and was allowed to see us again before this) things were hellish for me and my teenage years were rife with abuse. I moved out when I was 18. My sister is the golden child and he was better to her, but I still feel bad for leaving her alone. I just couldn't do it anymore. I worked on my relationships with them and tried to forgive but they still bully me when together. My sister has little to no idea of the true horrors of our early childhood, but I'm sure it effects her subconsciously but I think she blames me. For example I got married to my wonderful husband who I met in a different country while doing my PhD there (we still live here). We got married in my home country and made a huge deal out of her being my MOH because I thought we had healed. Meanwhile when she got married, she did not make me her MOH and completely destroyed my feelings.
The two of them also ruined the night of my bridal shower by picking petty fights with me and making me sob. (Believe me, I am well aware this is a toxic trait). The two of them act like I am not a real person a lot of the time, and that I am a burden/mess/stupid etc. I send Christmas gifts and visit often, nothing is reciprocated. They have not visited me in 5 years (I understand Covid happened and I did not want my dad getting on a plane at the time). But after vaccines and such he hasn't even tried to come. My husband and I have spent over 12 grand on covid tests and plane tickets to go see him. Well, he promised he would come this year, and he just got a job (out of work for two years because his job shut down). I totally get that, but once again he can't come. I understand the job thing but it feels like the boy who cried wolf. I'm sorry I just needed a vent and feel totally defeated. I'm constantly gaslighted and suffer so much anxiety and self doubt. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
2024.05.22 00:49 Not_Funny_Luigi How Can Mexicans Even Begin To Side With Trump?
I myself am a Mexican immigrant, I have an ITIN, Mexican passport, and the mark they give us on our right arm. When I was in highschool I was big into watching No Bullshit and Louder with Crowder mainly because it was around the time dunking on SJWs was big and I didn't even know what a conservative or republican was. Then came the Trump times where he was running for president, that's when I started seeing Trump say things about immigrants, how he doesn't want them here, how they are rapist and murders, and being an immigrant myself I felt horrible seeing these things said to massive crowds of people cheering him on, to rub salt in the wound even further DACA and DREAMERS was shut down making it so I couldn't gain residency, and the night trump was elected was my birthday. Ever since then I stopped watching No BS and Louder and started seeing Destiny content, the first was the John Tron debate, then Ritten House, and now to this day I still watch Destiny.
Now in current year I have recently found out during a birthday party both my Mexican uncle and Mexican American little brother are hardcore Trump supporters, when I was curious to why they were, the ONLY reason they stated was "the economy was good" and that's it. Thankfully my Based Dad stopped me from pressing further because its never fun to bring up politics with family so I dropped it. But now I just still do not understand how those two can blindly support Trump no matter what has happened, and still go out of their way to vote for him. After everything he has done and said about my people its insane he still gets support by my family. Is this an example of Trump Derangement Syndrome?
submitted by Not_Funny_Luigi to Destiny [link] [comments]
Now in current year I have recently found out during a birthday party both my Mexican uncle and Mexican American little brother are hardcore Trump supporters, when I was curious to why they were, the ONLY reason they stated was "the economy was good" and that's it. Thankfully my Based Dad stopped me from pressing further because its never fun to bring up politics with family so I dropped it. But now I just still do not understand how those two can blindly support Trump no matter what has happened, and still go out of their way to vote for him. After everything he has done and said about my people its insane he still gets support by my family. Is this an example of Trump Derangement Syndrome?
2024.05.22 00:47 PancakeLover1000 Did anyone else not get birthday gifts as a kid?
Receiving gifts is such a foreign feeling to me. Growing up I remember I rarely got birthday gifts. I remember the excuses I heard when I asked about gifts.
My parents are divorced. My mom's excuses were that she bought me shoes/clothes/some random toy a couple of months ago and that "could be used as a birthday gift". I also remember her telling me "go ask your dad to buy you a gift" implying he doesn't pay that much care to me.
Then my dad would always say "well I'm paying child support, I don't have money for gifts, use those money to buy yourself something nice" and hang up the phone, implying that that he is too busy and out of money to think of a gift for me
And that's how it usually went. It was very dismissive and neglectful.
Today I'm not even sure how to react when someone gets me something as a gift. It's such a foreign feeling.
submitted by PancakeLover1000 to CPTSD [link] [comments]
My parents are divorced. My mom's excuses were that she bought me shoes/clothes/some random toy a couple of months ago and that "could be used as a birthday gift". I also remember her telling me "go ask your dad to buy you a gift" implying he doesn't pay that much care to me.
Then my dad would always say "well I'm paying child support, I don't have money for gifts, use those money to buy yourself something nice" and hang up the phone, implying that that he is too busy and out of money to think of a gift for me
And that's how it usually went. It was very dismissive and neglectful.
Today I'm not even sure how to react when someone gets me something as a gift. It's such a foreign feeling.
2024.05.22 00:46 metdear Looking for beautiful, quality books for my personal library
I am building out a home library, and I have a large collection of books to begin with, but I'd like to also get some really pretty special-edition type books that I'll both love to read and will look great on a shelf. It was just my birthday, and my mom got me a $100 gift card to Amazon. I've found many sites online catering to the types of books I'm looking for (LitJoy, Folio Society among others), but I am limited to Amazon for this particular exercise. I'm not terribly picky about genre, I just love to read. Dear suggestmeabook, what would you suggest?
ETA: Both fiction and non-fiction suggestions are welcome!
submitted by metdear to suggestmeabook [link] [comments]
ETA: Both fiction and non-fiction suggestions are welcome!
2024.05.22 00:43 lumine2669 What birthday presents would the pathologic characters give imo
Today’s my brothers birthday so here’s my hcs on what the pathologic characters would gift ppl
Daniil: a really decorative/expensive pen
Clara: pretty rocks she found
Artemy: raw steaks that he will grill at the party
Lara ravel: something handmade with a heartfelt note (maybe pinteresty)
Bad grief : cocaina
Stakh Rubin: money in an envelope
Peter stamatin: half finished bottle of twyrine (he forgor sorry)
Andrey: full bottle of twyrine (he didn’t forget but he gave u the really cheap ones)
Georgiy kain: highbrow literature
Victor kain: he bought something hurriedly cuz he forgot so it can be anything
Maria kaina: small statue of a raven
Vlad sr: money or free meat but he doesn’t cook it.
Vlad jr: something he found in the steppes
Capella: again very pinteresty but it’s probably a fail (sorry)
Katerina saburova: morphine or a pretty rare book about clairvoyance
Alexander: “a tourists guide to the town on gorkhon”
Anna angel: hand sanitizer (this one’s a little on the nose)
Yulia: a book. Any book.
Eva yan: very obscure decoration
Aspity : root vegetables
Sticky: medical equipment he found
Aglaya : money or smth really rushed
Block: gun shaped lighter
Feel free to add more characters in the replies
submitted by lumine2669 to pathologic [link] [comments]
Daniil: a really decorative/expensive pen
Clara: pretty rocks she found
Artemy: raw steaks that he will grill at the party
Lara ravel: something handmade with a heartfelt note (maybe pinteresty)
Bad grief : cocaina
Stakh Rubin: money in an envelope
Peter stamatin: half finished bottle of twyrine (he forgor sorry)
Andrey: full bottle of twyrine (he didn’t forget but he gave u the really cheap ones)
Georgiy kain: highbrow literature
Victor kain: he bought something hurriedly cuz he forgot so it can be anything
Maria kaina: small statue of a raven
Vlad sr: money or free meat but he doesn’t cook it.
Vlad jr: something he found in the steppes
Capella: again very pinteresty but it’s probably a fail (sorry)
Katerina saburova: morphine or a pretty rare book about clairvoyance
Alexander: “a tourists guide to the town on gorkhon”
Anna angel: hand sanitizer (this one’s a little on the nose)
Yulia: a book. Any book.
Eva yan: very obscure decoration
Aspity : root vegetables
Sticky: medical equipment he found
Aglaya : money or smth really rushed
Block: gun shaped lighter
Feel free to add more characters in the replies
2024.05.22 00:36 thatmanwill Birthday “gift” for my sister
 | My sister’s birthday is coming up and I’d like to be able to send her a clear version of this picture. It’s the only picture I know of that we have together from our childhood! I’d be really grateful for anyone that could help out. submitted by thatmanwill to PhotoshopRequest [link] [comments] |