Letters to long lost friends

Hey Reddit, sorry in advance for the long post.
I don’t know if I want advice or someone to tell me to get my shit together. I (24F) had a crush on my friend, “Sarah” (24F). We’re both bi/queer, and everyone kept telling me they thought she was flirting with me. I did too, because she’d do and say things like “you’re so distracting” and borderline flirty stuff like that.
We also went out alone twice on what felt like dates. It’s 1000% my fault for not clarifying if we were just hanging out, so I know this whole thing is on me.
Well, it turns out she thought it was friendly (if you’re wlw you’ll understand my pain lol) and let me down very kindly and gently. I totally respected it, and got over it. I read signals wrong, and she has a hard time with social cues and always being perceived as flirty.
Long story short, I got back into it and let myself daydream about it. I know it’s a bad idea, especially since I was turned down, but I had no intention of acting on it and I could t help it.
Well last week after not seeing her for almost a month (she’s in school for a PhD) she came in telling me about this hookup with a girl from her class. She went into light detail all about how hot and pretty the girl is, how hot and fun the hookup was, and how they’re going on a date. Made me wanna die.
It’s not her fault, and I feel like a jerk for being upset. We never had any mutual romantic feelings or encounters, and I 1000% respect her wanting to be friends. It just stings to hear about this other girl and selfishly and u fairly wonder what she has that I don’t.
It’s not her fault she doesn’t like me that way. And how would she know I still like her? I’m not going to tell her because it’ll ruin our friendship. But I’m not sure I can be around d her right now hearing about this perfect girl.
I don’t know, I guess advice from people who’ve been through this? How do I support her and get over my own feelings? I hate feeling so selfish and wondering what I could have done different even though I know that’s not how attraction works.
TLDR: liked a friend, got rejected. Like her again, all she can talk about is her most recent hookup and how they’re going to start going on dates. Feelings go ouch.

TLDR: Irrationally texted my ex parents after a breakup saying mean shit about her no threats just emotional dumb shit. Regret how childish I came off and feel like part of my healing even to move on fully is apologizing to grow. But I don’t want to bother as other redditors have exclaimed I should be lucky no restraining orders have been put out or I’m not in jail. I admit I said ugly shit but nothing that comes to threats or harm. Lmk please
Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Trust me when I tell you I felt more than guilty. I balled my eyes out with her and not even for getting caught for the reaction she had and how fragile she always was to me. I mention what she had does because stupidly I should have left when I had the chance. Even other instances where she had initiated things, I knew it might have not been the healthiest but she showed other signs of real true love. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is nasty etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker by burning bridges, he told me to leave them alone I’m being childish. I understand I fucked up and fully agree. She’s done things and I know I shouldn’t have let be, but staying and getting revenge wasn’t the way. I’m realizing that as the hours even go by everyday I think about it. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had because I never ONCE disrespected them in their house, to their face. I called them Mr and Mrs always and always asked if they needed anything. I talked to a close female friend who said this stuff needs time and I can apologize if I’d like and if it makes me feel better, or write a letter and burn it. My parents said that’s not my character and said apologize if you feel necessary as I wasn’t raised like that. I feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text? I just want this weight off my chest of being the shitty person at the end at least to her parents who didn’t need any of that.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. I know I was emotional for no reason as I had done hurt to her in the past too. Seeing her move on so fast is what bothered me but I see she wanted me to feel what she felt. I just feel bad sitting on the thought that I left her parents with such a bad image of myself even thought it doesn’t matter anymore just doesn’t sit with me. Help?

Today is my 30th birthday. Maybe it's cool that I've lived so long despite my disability (SMA type 2). But all I feel is a consuming emptiness and sadness. I don't know why, but I've always seen birthdays as very important days, on which you rewind your year with people close to you, draw conclusions and so on. I haven't celebrated my birthday for a few years, but now I feel worse than before. I haven't gained any people around me, I haven't met anyone who has become an important part of my life during 30 years of existence. Realizing that makes me really angry. I mean, I have parents. A couple I have to live with, a couple that won't let me go out with anyone because they're afraid something bad will happen to me and they don't trust me. A couple who didn't manage to create a really comfortable condition and now we live in an apartment with only one room and a kitchen. A couple who didn't support me and didn't take the opportunity to leave our country when it started a war with its neighbor... I have other relatives who don't take me seriously and infantilize me.
I understand that I probably won't be able to change much in the rest of my life and that my condition will get worse with each passing year. I understand that I have not gained anything by my 30s. I have some long distance friends, I love and appreciate them, but they all have their own problems, families and so on. And that's not enough for me.
I don't see the value of my life. And I can't physically stop it myself. I just keep seeing myself as a failure, a pathetic guy trying to find some reassuring words online that won't change anything.

I have a Briard who got his "old man haircut" a month or two ago after a bout with septic pneumonia that left him with both sides shaved for chest tubes.
I've kept him in full coat his entire life and he's fantastic about being groomed. He'll stand like a statue or lay on his side and take a nap, whatever you ask him to.
We didn't want him totally nakey 🥺 so a friend who has poodles hand scissored him down to about 4" all over. Minus both sides of his ribs, which were shaved with a 40 at the vet hospital.
He's probably about 6" now and needs another trim... my poodle friend is going to be out of town for 10 weeks so we're going to have to go to a groomer.
First - is it reasonable for me, to reduce costs, tell the groomer I can bathe him and blow him out pin straight and fluffy right before he sees the groomer so all they have to do is scissor?
Is there anything I could say/do to reassure the groomer I am very capable of prepping him in an appropriate way?
I use Chris Christensen Miracle Repair shampoo and conditioner, and used CC After U Bathe Final Rinse Solution before he was scissored last time. Dry bone dry and pin straight with an HV dryer and an Ice on Ice pin brush.
Second - I live in northeast Ohio and am trying to brace myself for what the cost might look like to have him scissored to 3-4". I'd prefer a mobile groomer but can take him to a salon if need be.
The dog is really great about grooming... because of his age (almost 11) we tried to give him breaks throughout the initial scissoring process but he just kept getting back up on the table. He's still super fit, has no arthritis anywhere, and is as full of life as ever so that was a little surprising but not shocking. 🤷‍♀️ Point being - I think someone would be able to do the scissoring straight through without stopping.
His sides are only about an inch long due to the ER shave job (yes he looks silly LOL) so if it matters the trim excludes the bulk of his trunk and about half the underside of his neck.
Thoughts on how to discuss these things with a groomer? I feel like y'all probably hear a bunch of BS like this from pet owners, but I really feel like I have a good handle on my abilities and his behavior.

I know I sound like a massive stalker in the title, but I promise I am not. I can prove I actually know, and am on good terms with, this woman if I have to.
Backstory;
About 10 years ago I(28f) made a penpall, named Paula. There was this meme on 9GAG about penpalls, and this idiot (I wanna say James?) posted his address in the comments (somewhere in Yorkshire), saying he was open for penpalls. Back then I was studying to become an English teacher (in the Netherlands, where I'm from/still living), and was compelled to write a letter.
So I wrote one, and on the back of the envelope, I wrote something along the lines of: 'if you're not James, some idiot put your address in a 9GAG comment.'
Well, turns out James was away for the weekend and his housemates were freaking out about the pile of clearly handwritten letters showing up (I've always imagined a Harry Potter situation with the hogwarts letters in my mind). Apparently I was the only one to have said something on the envelope, so they opened mine. I got a message from one of his housemates, Paula, explaining the situation. She mentioned James had gotten a bunch of letters and would have penpalls for the rest of his lifetime, and if I'd like to be penpalls with her instead.
We exchanged letters for a while, mental health got in my way and we lost touch.
I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and I would love to surprise her with a letter. I hardly use Facebook, but apparently we're still friends and she seems quite active. So I could totally ask her for her address, as I assume she no longer lives in the same house as 8 years ago. But I'd really love to surprise her instead.
While i don't want to put out too much information about her out here on Reddit, I think her fiance is called Jake, and they're somewhere in Yorkshire, somewhere near Leeds.
I'm just wondering if i could find her address with her name (first and last) and the area? Her last name is uncommon, as she's not originally from the UK.
Again, I can prove (Facebook messenger screenshots) that I know her, that I am not bothering her, and that we were friends
Apologies if I'm in the wrong subreddit for this and I'd totally understand if this would get removed.

Strap up. This is a doozy and I’d love opinions.
I am 2 months out of a 14 year relationship with my ex husband. He’s left the home and currently has the kids. He lives with his girlfriend. I’m learning how to be alone and it’s not fun but I’m learning..
I’ve been dating around mostly on bumble. Last month a guy complimented my profile and said I look like I’d be worth a long term relationship and would put time into me. So he’s came over 3-4 times and I really vibed with him. Great personality. I genuinely liked him. The downside is he isn’t a great replier and prefers to play apex instead of talking to me or hanging out. Then he mentioned not wanting a girlfriend so I was confused.. He also mentioned he doesn’t share so didn’t want me sleeping around and he wouldn’t either. I asked for him to come over more because I genuinely enjoy his company and he’d always flake for the game and just not give me a heads up. I realized I deserve better than that. I do like having someone’s attention and time but I could go a week without seeing him and I’d definitely want to see him. So before Mother’s Day I mentioned not sleeping together anymore and just being friends since he didn’t want a girlfriend and I liked him. I was trying to protect my own heart. The next day he snapped me like is the real reason you don’t want to sleep with me anymore because you really like me too much or I don’t fxxx you enough? Honestly it was I liked him and wanted to see him more but it seemed he wasn’t as interested in me. Well he ended up coming over and hanging out before Mother’s Day. Took me to dinner and mentioned he may want to date me in 6 weeks we just have to get to know each other. That was the last time I’ve seen him and I’ve asked him to come over multiple times and he flaked out. Then he went 3 days without a snap and finally was like “I sat on apex for 3 days straight” and I was like wow, am I not even deserving of anything? It felt he ghosted me and he was like it wasn’t deliberate but it still felt that way. I told him look, I’ll just leave you alone and let you do your own thing. So I took my snooze off bumble. Today he snaps me and shows me my bumble profile and was like look I told you I don’t share so I’m done pursuing anything with you.
My feelings got hurt. I tried multiple times to communicate with him that I liked him and was interested in something and obviously more than he was interested in me. I even get the video game thing because I love video games myself.
But he said basically I can’t go 10 days without validation or foaming at the mouth for sex. Which that hurt too because I feel like seeing someone even once a week isn’t too much to ask. I’d prefer to see him multiple times.
I laid it all out. I explained I liked him and was trying to protect my heart. I can be alone but I do like for someone to text me even a few times a day so I know I’m on their mind. I’m not saying we have to go jump into a relationship but I felt like if he wanted to see me more, he would but his video game is more important. Which he’s a single fatherless man and can do that. I even told him I only wish the best for him and if he wants to stream and be good I hope he can be.
But my feelings are hurt and it sucks and I just wanted to vent here. I’m so sad. I obviously know I liked him more than he liked me and it just sucks.

England
Apologies, may be long but I’ll try to summarise mostly at the top, and then provide full excerpts of emails for detail if needed.
I own a leasehold flat and our management company is in the process of replacing our door entry system for buzzing people into the building. No consultation with flat owners was done on what the replacement system should be. The cost is being covered by insurers as the current system has been damaged by someone.
Currently the system works by the person/visitor punching in a flat number on the outside panel, this rings a phone in our flat (and also has a video screen) and we can let them in with a button. The system they’re planning to replace it with removes the phone unit in our flat and requires a phone number to be called by the system, and then we buzz the person in through an app on our phone.
Personally I think this is an unacceptable replacement due to the requirement of having a phone number for the system to call to simply be able to answer our doors.
When I asked what if someone doesn’t have a phone/doesn’t want to give their number to a company for the purpose of opening their door to guests, I was essentially told the advice is to just “buy one”. They also completely misunderstood my question of “What if I lose my phone?” - just telling me to let them know and they can remove my phone number from the system. Clearly not understanding that then I’d be without the ability to answer the door for visitors/post workers and such.
Maybe I’m being unreasonable (if you think I am please do say), but I don’t think this is a tenable solution for a replacement system.
I’m wondering if there is any legal basis to resist the new system on? It’s materially different (in my opinion at least. And I appreciate that from an outside perspective maybe it is not) from what was/currently is in place when I purchased my flat, and has potential issues that simply shouldn’t exist for a building entry system.
Happy to provide any more detail, and mildly resigned to also be told that I can’t do anything and just have to accept it.
Initial email from the management company
“Whilst this system is being bespokely fabricated we now need some details from each resident in each flat. This will be the mobile phone number that you wish to receive door entry calls from to allow access. This number will normally be the owner or tenants living there. You can have more than one mobile attached to the system. The system will call the primary number and if not answered it will then call the secondary number. You do not have to use more than one number.
When you answer the door as you would any call you will be able to see the person asking for access and speak to them on your phone. If you wish to allow access you press the hash key on your phone and this releases the door. We will give much more detail nearer the time but this is a summery for now.
All those using the system will need to download the app on the device/s they will have registered to the system to give access.”
My questions to them and their responses
“As there is to be no unit in the flats:

• What is the case for people with no phones? – Unfortunately there will be no access to the system, The system can be used by a landline or mobile if a person has neither we have previously advised to get a cheap pay as you go mobile and leave in the flat. This has worked on previous blocks.
  
• What is the case for people that simply do not wish to provide their personal number to an unknown company to be able to answer their door? - It is very unusual for someone not to provide a number to be attached to the system, it doesn’t have to be there personal number it could be again a sim card just for the door entry/intercom system.
  
• For people that do agree to have their number shared, what happens if their phone is lost? – if someone’s phone is lost we ask them to get in contact with us so the number can be deleted from the system”
  

So this one time, my buddy Tapani was out there in NYC enjoying his day like any other citizen, going for a walk, talking to people, buying a cup of coffee, etc.
But what's this?! While waiting for the train st the metro, he finds out that all the trains got delayed for some unknown reason. Annoyed, Tapani decides to just wait for his bus to finally arrive at the train station.
Not much later, noises can be heard from the tunnels, but not just any kind of noise, it was a noise created by thousands of raccoons coming out of the tunnels!
They start besting down teenagers with kung fu, throwing old ladies into the train rails, putting babies inside left behind pizza boxes, using adult males as table to enjoy their crunchy ass fish that the raccoons brought along side with them.
Tapani me boy, now scared in the situation that he finds himself in, looks around for something to use as a self defense and oh boy, oh boy.
He manages to find a homeless guy sleeping on the ground while having a SPAS-12 sitting next to him. He makes a run for a gun and pulls out a mcfucking katana out of it. I shit you not, my boy Tapani out here never used something like this before.
So, what is he going to do?! Surrendered by some long ass raccoons that look like they straight up came from Mars. Was this it, was it over?
Hell naw!! Guess what! The Albanian super hero, Slayer of Goats, came right at time to save the day! He uses his Tentacle-jitju to wipe out the entire raccoons army with one slash from the long ass tentacle that was somehow formed from his right arm. Before leaving the scene, the hero tell Tapani: "Never get near a raccoon, my friend. They can shove themselves up where the Sun's bright light will not shine."
Confused, Tapani looks around all the bloody mess the hero had left behind. The thing is, Tapani was given all the credit for defesting the raccoons at that time cuz there couldn't be any survivor found, expect for him. While wanting to come out clear, the people of NYC were offering him a LEGO SUPRA for his "heroic acts".
I mean can you blame him? Having a LEGO SUPRA offered while not being the one that stopped the raccoons invasion?

Double standards. Jill and Ramona actually hate each other more than they get a long. Everyone in the group makes snarky comments about each other but this season they decide to hang bethenny at the stake?
Bro Alex had every right in human history to air every single one of these women out for speaking about her children the way they have🫠 but no Jill Luann and Kelly love to drag shit out, shit that does not matter.
Also the amount of delusion exhibited by Kelly needs to be studied. This lady is actually more frightening than they say bethenny is.
DUDE RAMONA LITERALLY TOLD BETHENNY TO HER FACE SHE HAS NO FRIENDS AND SHES GOING TO RUIN HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER BOYFRIEND. BUT BETHENNY IS THE SCARY BULLY?!??
I don’t trust Jill. Which sucks because season one I liked everyone ☹️☹️☹️☹️ why does every house wife become so insufferable after their divorce(s). Luann season 3👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

My friend and I were talking about her son who goes to a pretty elite university here. She made a comment about a how a cohort that came in test (SAT) optional was struggling to keep up and said school was going to reinstate testing and she said she thought this was a good idea to ensure that kids are prepared for the rigor of said university. SD of course got defensive and said I got a 1000 and I’m “wicked smart”. I said that may be true but there is certain “breed” of kids meant for Ivy leagues and this is how they screen them. We sort of had a back and forth and meanwhile she just got quiet. Long story short - she is giving me cold shoulder for defending my friend.
I hear her all the time complain about how dumb everyone is at her school and I try to defend these kids and provide context for why they may not perform as well. The second the scenario is reversed on her (she provides context to justify her poor performance), she gets pissy.
Should I apologize? I have to go to her honors night at her school tomorrow so she is going to make that miserable if I don’t - I think.

Hi !
I am a 19F, and I am too sensitive and come across as childish, because of my personality. I cannot argue with someone close, like my family, without crying.
Long contextualisation here, sorry in advance. This is more of a vent post looking for advice.
I was the cliché weird girl, ugly, curly hair and glasses, with no friends and who didn’t understood what was going on half of the time. I got bullied in preschool and sometimes over the years. I am ashamed, but I got violent when people were mocking me, and when we argued, because I was sad and didn’t knew what to do. Still am today to some extent. I was very unhappy when in public and in school, borderline embarrassed of existing, hating myself, but it got way better as a teen.
I grew up, I am social, I have very good friends, I am funny, I am way better, and sometimes I can’t believe how far I’ve got from the old me. I am very proud of myself on that. But I don’t have a lot of "life experience", with how I was so isolated before. I would say that I have three years of real "life experience". It felt like coming out of the fog or something.
Now, I am not someone that takes things at heart, or too personally. I like to think that I am pretty level headed. I never cried in front of my friends, except for something very serious or because we were watching a sad movie.
However, when I am alone or with my family, it is different. I just can’t help it, and I immediately cry when :
-I am embarrassed about myself - when I don’t have any great comeback when arguing - I am angry and the person I am arguing with doesn’t care and use it to make fun of me - when I think about something sad or someone going through intense emotional pain
But I never cry in public.
My close family is very different from me on this aspect, my parents are loving and supportive but they are not as sensitive.
The other day I argued with my father over lunch. It wasn’t because of something I did, he just got angry by himself and was being unfair and quite frankly ruining the meal, so I intervened. When he started jabbing at me, I left the table, because it was the end of the meal and my siblings already left. I was pissed, but didn’t want to cry. My father said "yeah right, go cry".
It’s not much. Worse things happens in life
(like when I had Cushing disease and nobody believed me until I went to the doctors alone lol)
But I got so angry. Because my little sister says the same thing when we argue. Because she never cry and I cry, well, often.
She doesn’t likes me. When I come home she never talks to me, seeing me makes her angry. She is the kind of pretty, very opinionated girl who would have bullied the hell out of me if we were in the same grade. We joked about this before. She is also f ing rude and probably hasn’t cried in years.
There have been instances of my dad and sister telling my that I act and behave childishly, my mother too. It’s true that I can be sometimes, but I am not childish about serious things, not about how I treat people, or live my life, or with my studies.
And besides why can’t I be childish with my FAMILY, in my own home, with my parents when I am literally their CHILD ? Like, I am the child that is "wise beyond its years" when I talk about serious things with my parents, when we talk about life and philosophy.
There is a big difference with how I act day-to-day with close family members, joyful and frankly dumb, and with how I am when it comes to serious subjects. And they get to see both of these sides of me, often. Which is why it hurts even more when they call me childish and they all agree with it.
I feel they don’t take me seriously, because I am the sensitive, cry easily artsy former-victim child. And I hate this. Because I can’t argue without crying, and when I don’t cry I don’t know how to respond and my arguments are weak. And I look pathetic. Even if we love each other very much and have healthy relationships.
I am sorry for the extensive rent, but i feel like it was needed so that you could give me some advice on how to be less sensitive, cry less and appear less childish, I guess, based on this context.
Sorry for over sharing, and for my English, it is not my first language
thanks you :D

TLDR: Irrationally texted my ex parents after a breakup saying mean shit about her no threats just emotional dumb shit. Regret how childish I came off and feel like part of my healing even to move on fully is apologizing to grow. But I don’t want to bother as other redditors have exclaimed I should be lucky no restraining orders have been put out or I’m not in jail. I admit I said ugly shit but nothing that comes to threats or harm. Lmk please
Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Trust me when I tell you I felt more than guilty. I balled my eyes out with her and not even for getting caught for the reaction she had and how fragile she always was to me. I mention what she had does because stupidly I should have left when I had the chance. Even other instances where she had initiated things, I knew it might have not been the healthiest but she showed other signs of real true love. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is nasty etc. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker by burning bridges, he told me to leave them alone I’m being childish. I understand I fucked up and fully agree. She’s done things and I know I shouldn’t have let be, but staying and getting revenge wasn’t the way. I’m realizing that as the hours even go by everyday I think about it. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had because I never ONCE disrespected them in their house, to their face. I called them Mr and Mrs always and always asked if they needed anything. I talked to a close female friend who said this stuff needs time and I can apologize if I’d like and if it makes me feel better, or write a letter and burn it. My parents said that’s not my character and said apologize if you feel necessary as I wasn’t raised like that. I feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text? I just want this weight off my chest of being the shitty person at the end at least to her parents who didn’t need any of that.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. I just felt hurt cause she said she wouldn’t seek revenge but the moment we had stopped talking she acted like I meant nothing. I understand now I have done the same to her in the past and maybe this is her way of moving on but still not ok with the way my character was at the end.

Hello Everyone,
I am a long time lurker, first time poster. My husband and I are considering moving to the Middle East for me to teach for the 25-26 school year. We are located in a North African country- I am American and my husband is North African. I am teaching in an international school now and will have my masters in ELL and I am also adding secondary English Lit to my certification (I have a Pk-12 ELL cert and Literacy Specialist) while my husband has his bachelors in Computer Science and a masters in Business and Artificial Intelligence. My husband has worked as a software Engineer and currently works in business intelligence and data analytics, he speaks Arabic (both classical and local dialect), French, and fluent in English. We are both chill, lowkey folks who like a little luxury here and there, but essentially are both homebodies and looking for a place that will pay well but also a great place to start a family.
Our major worry is that he may not be able to find a job. We would love to move to a place where he would have the best shot of getting a job. We would love for him to stay in the tech field but he isn't oppose to teaching computer science at a school if that is possible for him. Can anyone offer any advice where would be a good location for us? We were thinking Oman as we heard that it is chill, family friendly, and the pay is good, but what are the odds of him getting a job? We also thought about Abu Dhabi or one of the chiller Emirates. We are not looking to get super rich lol, but want some saving potential so we can send some money home (we will eventually return back to North Africa to really settle down). Can anyone offer any advice about being a mixed nationality teaching couple in the ME, or insights to job market for the tech field in the ME AND/ or what I may need to look for when accepting a package with starting a family in mind? Or just general advice about starting a family as expats in the ME? He and I both come from humble backgrounds and the concept of having a nanny is strange to us, but we know we won't have a choice unless one of us stays home, plus we know that our kids childhoods will be drastically different from ours growing up (which still blows both our minds since we both come from small towns from our respective countries lol).
Thanks!
P.S. Saudi Arabia is not an option.

I (19M) have looking at p0rnography for about 10 years, and addicted for 5.
I was initially introduced to p0rnographic content was I just 10 years old. I have had computer and internet access since I was 9, so I just naturally discovered p0rn through gateway websites/ads. At this time, it was just pictures of naked women, or women on cam-sites. But believe it or not, 10 year old me felt guilty within a few months of visiting these sites and eventually admitted to my parents I was looking at this type of content. Since admitting what I had done to my parents, I would only frequently look at p0rnographic content.
Fast forward a few years when I am about 13 years old and beginning puberty. Like a lot of other boys during puberty, I started to look at p0rn a lot. The only difference between me and other 13 year old's, was that I had been visiting these sights long before.
Long story short, I eventually became addicted, and undoubtedly still am. For the past 6 years, I have probably only gone 1 week max without looking at some sort of p0rnographic material. This has obviously destroyed my perception of woman, dating, sex, etc. and has led me down some pretty bad rabbit holes.
As I mature more and learn more about myself, I realize just how much p0rn has taken over my life. It feels like it is nearly impossible to quit, given how long it has been borderline hijacking my life. I feel lost because this isn't exactly something I can speak about with a friend, let alone a family member.
Where do I start with my journey of quitting?

So this afternoon I got an email informing me that someone in my year had a high similarity to my work. A few days ago my friend asked for my help with their work. Let’s call them Jarrod. Jarrod at first wanted me to help guide them, then Jared just asked for my work to see the layout. I didn’t think anything of this because one, Jarrod was supposedly my friend, but mainly because I had already submitted my work and Jarrod had an extension due to issues or whatever. So in my head I’m like there’s no way Jarrod will copy my work, he’s the only person in the class who hasn’t finished their work and I submitted my work way back in March-April.
So it would be very obvious if he copied me. I also sent my teacher a draft of my work earlier into it so again more proof that it is my original work. But Jarrod was stupid and copied my work. I’m not sure how much he copied but I have been informed that it was a ‘stark amount’. I am furious and so disappointed. I have helped Jarrod out many times not with work but with other issues, helped with personal problems. So I think it’s horrible for him to put me in this position.
I have a lot of evidence that this is my work with a draft, bits of work I have been putting together, messages between me and Jarrod, the email where Jarrod had my work and I have all my references time stamped thanks to Edge. I know what I did was stupid but at the time I really didn’t see the harm. The person who emailed me said I have nothing to worry about which tells me that they do believe it is my work but I am so upset and worried. I hope I will not have to redo the work since it took me so long and I put a lot of effort into it.
Does anyone have any advice or suggestions, do you think I will be punished for this? My messages to Jarrod prove that I did not give my permission for them to copy my work and I did not let them see my work for them to copy. This is also a first time for me I have never ever shared work with anyone, only parents. Any help is greatly appreciated I have a meeting this week

My first paperback rebind with gold foil HTV cover. This was my first foray into Inkscape, now I want to design and cut covers for all my tired looking paperbacks!
I did have problems with the tiny letters and I’m impressed I only lost an i, and Hugh Laurie’s name is a bit on the wonky side…

So, Unfortunately my dad had a stroke. I moved out of the city to deal with everything while he's in the hospital and I'm living at home now and will be living with him full time. He's finishing up acute physical therapy and is being moved to a subacute facility within a day or two to continue his rehab.
Unfortunately, he's still quite weak on his left side so his house isn't workable. He wanted to sell it before the stroke as it has become too much for him but now it's become a necessity.
I've never purchased a home before and I, frankly, don't have downpayment money as I lived in NYC and buying just wasn't on my radar. So, we'd have to use the money we get from his house to make a down payment on the new house.
Details: Remaining mortgages: ~185k Assessed Home value: 400-430k Max home budget: 500k My gross income:101,400 My dad's income: ~50k a year, 2700 a month for the mortgage that will be wiped out once he sells. Aunt: Not sure about her income but she has a good retirement and will be contributing to bills.
I got pre-approved for a home loan and am looking at houses in the 500 range to accommodate the 4 adults that will be living in the home (Me, my spouse, my dad and his sister who is in bad health as well).
How the hell do I do this? I spoke with a real estate attorney and he said I could take out a home equity loan to use as a down payment. But how the fuck do I do that?
Honestly, I'm terrified and lost and I just want a stable place for my dad so he can be comfortable. Please, can someone walk me through what I need to do? I feel like I'm running out of time as I don't know how long he'll be in acute rehab and It's just me figuring this out.

I feel broken at this point. I remember having a strong interest in friends and romantic connections when I was young, but casual rejection after casual rejection from everybody has left me as a 25 year old adult with so much shame it isn’t even possible to form genuine connections anymore. I have a couple friends from college that have managed to stick around, and that’s about it. I see them every few months when we visit each other out of state but even then I know I’m not connecting with them in the way other people do with their friends. I hear people laugh so easily from the smallest things and I don’t know why I never really find much funny, I never find much to be that happy about, everything’s always been a baseline meh. I almost feel like I laugh out loud just to prove to myself that I can do it, that I can find things funny enough to laugh at and not just laugh because other people are laughing.
Before I was diagnosed with autism I was very convinced I had avoidant personality disorder but now I feel like it’s morphed into full on schizoid. There’s no desire to even try anymore. I feel casually rejected from everyone, even my parents. I go to therapy but I know it’s not possible to undo what 25 years of having no real friends and no emotional connection with my parents has done to me.
It just devastates me in a way that words can’t explain. To know that we only get one single life, and this is what mine has become after trying so hard for so long. I’ve always found the world and everyone in it to be the most beautiful thing, I am in awe of humanity of everything we’ve accomplished, and I just wish I could feel apart of it. I wish I could have a do over so badly sometimes

I'm a department head in my store. Currently pregnant, but nowhere near ready to go on leave. We had a manager meeting to attend today. As we were concluding, another manager (who is known for making snarky remarks, but is friends with everyone. Super cliquey vibe in my store) said "oh! Since this is happening next week, does that mean I can take over [my department]?" And gave me a dirty look. Everyone laughed like it was an inside joke they've been waiting to unleash. Store manager included. Only one other manager gave everyone a "wtf" face with me. Totally came out of left field.
I'm not into the cliques and gossip. I have my friends at work like everyone else and I try to be nice to everyone. I'm laid back, don't really mind if people leave early as long as their work is done, and they all seem to team up when I'm not there to complete tasks. It's a healthy dynamic that I work hard to maintain, and it has paid off since I began running this department. I have not heard any complaints, but have made sure all of my people know they can come to me if anything could be improved. This job sucks enough. I don't want to be the reason people are miserable to be there.
Managers see me as an easy target to give an attitude to when they're having a bad day because I'm not intimidating. The past couple of weeks, they've been especially terrible. They're blaming it on inventory, but I don't see them treating anyone else this way.
Today, as I was heading down to start working, I heard two managers muttering to each other about me before I even left the room. This happened after one of the managers just dumped a million things on me that have literally nothing to do with me.
My problem is, suddenly everyone seems so hostile toward me without ANY explanation, without ANY constructive criticism, without ANY discussion of any kind. They'll smile and say hi, then snicker as soon as I walk away. If I'm doing something wrong, I'd like to know so I can do better instead of hearing embarrassing comments in front of everyone about how another manager could do my job better than me, and doesn't even know anything about it. I've always done what was asked of me, and I had a great trainer, so I know what I'm doing. I'm truly clueless as to what's going on. How do I not take this personally? Am I crazy? I took all of my personal items out of my office today, and I'm fully prepared to just not go back since they seem so much better off without me.

Andrea Cromwell has battled for five years to achieve her dreams. Now, when she’s on the cusp of a high-end deal, the man who destroyed her is back in her life after five long years. He is none other than Zion Concorde, her brother’s best friend! This time with their paths intertwined, how will Andrea deal with the reckless billionaire? He hasn’t changed at all. He is still distrustful, arrogant, and ruthless, just like before! How did she ever fall for his mysterious aura? Little did she know then that the only man she loved and trusted would leave her broken and pregnant! Now, after five years, Andrea finally can get her revenge! She can strike back and make him suffer the way she has! But when secrets are unearthed, what will Andrea do? After five years, Zion Concorde is back on a mission! He needs her, but not for love! Can he succeed in his wicked plan to have her back in his life? Read more

To all my explorers reading this, I just want to say a heartfelt ✨Thank you✨ for making this sub come alive with your beautiful submissions from all across the world, whether from your own city, a country or place that you have traveled to, or someplace you currently call home for as long as you might need to.
When I started this subreddit almost 10 months ago, I never thought it would manifest into something so rich, colorful and vibrant. I have no one but all of you to thank for this shared experience. Each time I come here, these stunning images and scenic views make my heart so full. It’s amazing to see how something that did not exist before, can gradually mold and blossom into something so visceral over a short period of time.
I can never fully express how happy and excited I get each time someone shares a brief moment of their travels, their time and their life with ExplorersFromPakistan.
However, I would really, really appreciate it even more if you could add a very brief context, background or even a one liner description with your submissions just to give it more of a deeper feel. It could be as simple as a caption (in the body as text) —
✨Getting coffee in Florence, Italy
🔥 having dinner with the boys in Skardu, Pakistan.
I promise it’s the smallest things that make it more meaningful, not to mention it becomes a great conversation starter, and we might even make some fantastic friends on here. Please consider this a request at most. I would still cherish your participation regardless of whether you choose to caption it or not.
I can’t wait for us to manifest our first trip together with ExplorersFromPakistan with whoever is able to join us (more details on that in the coming future in Shaa Allah)
I hope you never stop growing, never stop being curious for new sights, sounds and experiences. I hope you never ever stop exploring.
Sending love to each and everyone reading 🤍
Talk soon.
Yours always,
u/ExplorerFromPak
💌

I (20f) have been, what I understand to be, maladaptive daydreaming for most of my life. It wasn’t until recently, about a year ago, that I learned about maladaptive daydreaming and that other people also experience it. This came as a huge shock to me, as I have always been embarrassed and secretive with my form of “daydreaming.” I thought I was the only one who would find solace in my head, playing out different scenarios and scenes with characters from movies, books, tv shows, and even some of my own creation. All with their own back stories and subplots. They were always changing and conforming to whatever hyper-fixation I had at the time. Usually backed with songs blasting in my ears at full volume, allowing me to truly break away from reality.
As I mentioned above, I have been doing this for a very long time, even now. It acts as a form of stress-relief for me, and a moment to get away from life’s problems. The only people who know about my “daydreaming” are my immediate family members and one close best friend, to an extent. I am still deeply embarrassed by this and it makes me uncomfortable to explain to other people. It’s hard for me to put in words how my daydreaming has helped me through extremely difficult times. It’s almost worrying the level of connection I feel and dependence I have on it. I can and have gone many months without doing it, but I always seem to get easily irritated and stressed if I don’t.
This is where my question comes in, I am nervous about the future with this habit. Should I stop this habit altogether and find a new way of stress-relief, or should I continue and just wait for the reliance to wean itself off as time goes on? I should mention that this isn’t the most silent activity of mine (that sounds way worse than it is). I have gathered that others who daydream either pace a room or walk around their home. However, I sit on a spinning stool as I daydream. I found that spinning really fast in one place really helps with the imagination part of the daydream. Thus, why I am so embarrassed by my behavior and am rarely open about it.
As I have read through different stories on this subreddit, I also have had other anxieties pop up about maladaptive daydreaming. Mainly that this may be a form of severe mental illness and an unhealthy detachment from reality. Not that I am entirely concerned about being “normal”(hate that word), moreso if I should be seeking actual medical/therapeutic help for this. I want to add that in no way do I apply these fantasies and dreams to real life. I completely understand that they are in my head and not actual people or events that have taken place.
Overall, I just want to get some feedback from other people who have experienced this and can possibly understand what I am talking about. If anyone has any tips or experience that they could lend me, it would be greatly appreciated. I want to say that this subreddit has really opened my eyes. It has made me feel more comfortable with talking about and acknowledging my daydreaming, for that I am grateful.