"I don't make them stand in front of the miniguns." Me, responding to a 199X email asking how I keep my NPCs from being shredded by miniguns.
“Did I dream myself to death again? Don’t we have a guy for that?” - Electric Warrior [T/M], behind the scenes at his marathon 3 week dreamstream.
“All I remember is I was watching AR porn when I rammed into the biggest cock I’d ever seen.” Cyrus Pessoa [M/D], testifying at his manslaughter trial for rear ending a city bus with a Citymaster, killing 27.
“At any point in your life did you consider moving on from the fat crayons?” Sativola [F/D], rated 5th most influential art critic, reviewing a work by Oihenarte Janosek [M/D]. The value of all of his works dropped by 95% after the comment.
“Did you see him hit the ground and die? No? Cuz, I don’t care how far he fell out of that helicopter, he’s your arch enemy. They simply don’t go out like that.” Matriarch [F/H], Author of “Chromed Memoirs: Yet Another Goddamn Runner Story”.
“Discretion isn’t all that necessary if your enemy isn’t paying any attention.” Silentstar [F/H], from her book “Woah, There: Logical Run Planning”, p. 2071
“Don’t pick at it.” - Simple advice that a recent New England Of Medicine study showed would prevent 15% of post-op cyber and bio infections if followed.
“For every bed of roses, there will be a bed of thorns. Which will you lie on?” - Riku [H/M], Leader Of The “Front 50/50” Policlub, one of the new breed of ‘Economist Policlubs' to crop up in recent years.
“He who laughs last often doesn’t realize how severe his injuries are yet.” Tiffany Gawronski [F/O], former DocWagon employee and host of “The Shadow’s Stupidest Samurai”.
“I am happy to report that the two sides have agreed to cease hostilities at midnight. Until then, and I quote, ‘The game is motherfucking on.’” - Kiley Correra [F/E], arbiter for the Babakku and Konton-Shi gangs, ending (eventually) weeks of bloodshed.
“I did show an astonishingly high aptitude towards surviving falls from very high distances, but they don’t really give bonuses for that.” - Celese [F/H], from her autobio “I Was A Runner Wannabe", p. 2073
“I gave up crime so I could go about stealing shit the legal way.” Alexa Mossadegh (Shadowstalker) [F/H] in her autobio "Lawyers, Corps And Cops: A Former Runner’s Life On The Top Ten Floors", p. 2071
“I looked down, and it was GONE! I wasn’t even sure which orifice I lost it in!” Ezekiel Lodge [M/E], in a graphic vlog post after a drug fueled encounter with a malfunctioning sexbot.
“I still want the record to show that I beat the living shit out of that donkey.” Dill Wart [O/M], In a rambling police statement after a drunken miscommunication at The Screaming Asses’ 'Donkey Punch' night.
“I take everything a woman has, lock her in a room for a week with nothing but a razor blade, and if she’s still alive after seven days: I give it all back.” Unnamed Evo exec, quoted in “Games Trillionaires Play” (p. 2075), by Felipa Sabo [F/H], (d. 2075).
“I won Body Mod Bod of the year, and all I had to do was get hit by a truck.” Azurepyre [F/E], In a post award ceremony interview with ‘Metal Meat' magazine.
“I’m sorry, but we recently refinished the floors. Your commandos will just have to invade on the lawn.” President Lành Phan [M/H] of Nong Khai after an Udon Thani incursion. The micronations have invaded each other over 60 times in the past decade.
“I’ve been in the midst of an implant assisted orgasm since 2062. Just easier to nev..oh…never shut it off.” - Jenny Gleem [F/H], simporn actress.
“If somebody described a trip to the bathroom as ‘life changing’, you think negatively because, regardless if the experience was good or bad, there’s still a bathroom involved.” Bingo [F/T] from her book “The Worst: Surviving The Z Zone”, p. 2069
“If we lock a man in a room, and return to find the man standing next to a pile of shit, we can no longer even prove that it’s his shit.” Attorney Daniel Brown [M/H] from ‘Magic Mayhem: The New Legal Order’, p. 2031
“Laziness Is Fatal” Loose translation of the motto of Fujitimaha Motors, an automotive sweatshop recently shut down on Japan's Yakushima Island. It is one of over a dozen ‘counterfeit car" operations shut down in recent months.
“Never let another person tie your knots. Even your mom has a tiny part of her that thinks you should die.” Seraphic [F/H], Host of ‘Don’t Fuck Up: Survival In The Sprawl', daily senseburst.
“Operation Dog Fart” The code name casually given by the U.K. to their 2063 Falkland raid, not realizing it would go on to be one of the most successful military actions of the decade, destined to be taught in military academies for years.
“Thankfully, I’m too stupid to grasp the concept of embarrassment.” Big Bubba Bartholomew [M/D], after winning the Butt Network’s ‘Public Pooping’ contest, coming from behind and pinching the lead after destroying his opponent in both mass and precision.
“You can tell a lot about a person by how they laugh. I, for instance, laugh like an asshole, which is 100% on the mark.” Razor, Radio Phree Philadelphia, available on FM receivers everywhere.
“You think I’m disappointed; I think I heard God shoot herself.” - Dawnhunter [F/D], deconstructing the new hopefuls on the hit stream ‘Dumped In The Shadows: From Rejects To Runners In 30 Days.’
“We’ve made a pretty good business out of other runners fucking up royal.” Resolution [M/T], Owner Of ‘Pinch Hitters Runner Support Services'.
“Facts, when combined with an assault cannon, constitute the greatest force in the world.” Anvil [M/O] ‘KnowNow’ Policlub And Militia Leader
“We just put a lot of effort into getting our enemies to exhaust all but one option, and then pounce on that option.” White Pony [F/O], DeeCee Area Runner.
“A fertile mind needs a lot of shit dumped onto it to grow to its full potential. It’s either that or they drown in the shit.” Lam An [M/H], Commander, Bogota Bravo Faction, During Sentencing For The Murder Of 278 Child Recruits
“I’ve found that changing my mind at the last minute only results in two fuckups instead of one.” Province [F/H], Boston Area Runner
“If knowledge is dangerous, I feel pretty safe around here.” Random Patron, “Dumbs Bar And Grill”, After Passing The Location’s ‘Lack Of Intelligence’ Test.
“It wasn’t until I made all this fucking money that I realized how many friends I have.” - Biggie Bang [D/M], DJ And Recording Artist.
“I got so many Colt M23s crammed into my bathroom alone that I have to shit in the yard. The neighbors don’t complain, probably because of all the Colt M23s I got crammed into my bathroom.” - Finnick, Fence
“Running on fumes is still running.” – Blackjack [M/H], From The Autobio “Grade D, But Edible: 25 Years In The Sprawl”, 2051 SimonEl Press
“Running is like adding too much garlic to a salad; Rude if you’re feeding vampire…...I’m not sure where I was going with that.“ - Chris, The Cracked Cranium Comedian [O/M].
“Another 50k run? I still owe ten grand from the last one!” - Stoobie [D/M], 17th Worst Sammy In The Sprawl.
“All these conceded masses who think they matter because of their differing opinions disgust me! I’m better than you! Just accept that and watch!” - Erika Grey [F/H], Commentator, XF Zero NewsEve.
“Apathy is pulling the trigger and not giving a shit whether or not it fires. True apathy is not bothering to pull the trigger at all.” KillJoy [H/M] [DECEASED], Samurai , From The Bio “Dented Chrome: Streets, Sewers And Suicide”, 2065 SimonEl Press.
“Pull your head into your shell, little turtle. I’ll be ready with the guillotine when you poke it back out.” Dzuljeta Ji-Hye [F/H], Former CIA Sniper, From The Bio “One Chance”, 2071 Simon El Press.
“Facts only make it harder to form a pure ethos. I despise you. I don’t need to know why.” - Ho Bustillo [M/H], Humanis Policlub Initiate.
“A lie will rumble through the sprawl for days before the truth even gets its shit together.” Joeann Dimario [F/E], Investigative Reporter, InDeep News.
“It isn’t the lights and cameras that frighten a true performer. It’s what happens when the lights and cameras are turned off that gives us nightmares.” Dyna [F/E], Former Megastar, From The Autobiosim “It’s Not A Star, It’s A Flare”, 2068 SimonEl Press.
“The only thing a fuckup can learn is how to be a better fuckup, regardless of the tech involved.” – Sif Simon [F/H], Synaptic Enhancement Surgeon.
-bjk

The Short Version can be found here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here.

The Beekeeper. Bzzt:

Ah, I'm so fucked. 💀

Challenges...

This part is going to be an interesting challenge. I would say I’m walking a tightrope here, but that metaphor implies that there’s some slim chance where one can write a section like this and not get banned, um, again (and again?). The original plan was something a bit more comprehensive, where alongside another matter, I would make the case that there have been a number of pro-Palestine users that have correctly addressed misinformation on this sub, where they do a decent job of breaking circlejerks, adding some sordid nuance to threads that otherwise would have devolved into the ones laid out in Part 1 and Part 2. These users will, inevitably, have an “interaction” with 4THOT at some point; they will subsequently be banned on justifications that I obviously believe are nonsensical, where said justifications are also exhibited by 4THOT, whether in that exchange itself or in other threads; and these users are not interested in returning to the sub.
I abandoned this plan for a long litany of reasons; there’s two in particular I’ll highlight here: (1) I don't believe I can achieve the effects I desire; and (2) I'm keen to avoid any accusations of this section being some “hit-piece” or “hate-post.”
I do not intend to present arguments against any other aspect of moderation that I might find to be problematic; I do not intend to make comments on character. I am simply razor-focused on one aspect of moderation here, and one aspect of the unbanning process.

...and Goals

This part will attempt to try and have my other goal — which is shared by many other users in this sub — come into fruition: I believe users should be able to participate in this sub without needing to take into consideration what 4THOT’s personal views are on a matter.
The only things a user should be cognizant of is what are Reddit's site wide rules, including those specific to this sub; what are the subreddit rules; and what are Destiny's desires in terms of what comments and submissions are allowed here. I also believe subreddit rule 6 (rule 5 on new reddit) needs to be amended to remove the arbitrariness.
If a user comes away with a different interpretation of events than 4THOT does, and said user doesn't exhibit any other behaviour in their comment or submission that violates those stated parameters, then that user ought not to be banned.
If 4THOT’s personal opinion is something that we need to be mindful of — and Destiny approves of this notion, agreeing that opinions 4THOT alone finds to be beyond the pale warrants an immediate ban — then, unironically, that stipulation should be added to the subreddit rules.
Furthermore, as mentioned in the TL;DR, I am requesting clarification on if there’s any procedure by which you can get unbanned when 4THOT sets a condition on the unban — and whether or not he should be setting conditions on the ban. 4THOT has mentioned that "Ninou has orders to not unban certain [regards.]"
As it stands, it’s not clear if Destiny approves of this behaviour. I say this because I have not seen him comment on this aspect of moderation when it comes to the subreddit. If he already disapproves of this behaviour, then I would request that this sentiment be conveyed to 4THOT, which should hopefully reduce the likelihood this reoccurs in the future.
I'm asking that Destiny clarify here because then it's something that can be clipped, and moderators here can use that clip when, well, moderating.
One final point before I critique the bans. There’s a noticeable difference between this section on 4THOT, and his um, passionate challenge to Kelly Jean: she’s easy to avoid. Just close the stream mate! Whereas 4THOT has control over who can participate in this subreddit, Kelly Jean can't dictate who can and can't appear on stream. Mashallah. 🙏 Thus, I feel this submission has justification.

The Bullet: A Forlorn Attempt for Consistency

The second ban is infinitely more interesting, but I’ll briefly address the first 30-day ban. I am not here to relitigate this discourse. The post in question that led to the infraction was removed, but it's still available if you’re a moderator, and I won't be reposting it here. The gist of the post was a question on whether or not we should be banning people for misinformation, referencing a user who received a 90-day ban from 4THOT for posting a misquote from a mainstream Israeli news outlet, during a live translation of a speech Netanyahu was giving. I’m pretty sure 4THOT knows who i24News are, so I couldn't quite follow his thought process here.
Moreover, if you’ve gone through the examples above, then you can easily imagine my bafflement here as well, particularly because a couple days earlier a Twitter clip was posted of an individual clearly misspeaking.
The user who submitted this post was only banned for 10 days — despite doubling down on this not being a misspeak — and I was bemused by the inconsistency being applied here. Being completely consistent in terms of my own principles, I mentioned in my post that I don’t think either of them should be banned, but if this is the standard that is going to be maintained, then it would only be reasonable that some level of leniency is given if you happen to inadvertently post misinformation from a reputable news outlet.
Regarding the Netanyahu misquote, I am in full agreement with 4THOT that it is a misquote, but it is regrettable that, well, some chose to challenge him on this front, arguing that the corrected quote is functionally the same, or worse. Take note of how civil his interlocutor here is up until the point 4THOT used an insult; unwisely, his interlocutor chose to match tone. I’m only mentioning this because, despite the insults 4THOT might use against me, I have no interest in engaging in a similar style of rhetoric as I don't find it to be conducive to a productive conversation, and I’m hoping I don't have to deal with a level of vitriol here that users are sometimes not allowed to match — not that I have any interest in doing so. There’s a couple tame jokes in this post, but hopefully I don’t get a response like this:

Thank fucking God that guy died because he'd absolutely kill himself by biting off his own tongue to choke on his own blood if he ever read the obese shithead redditors backseating one of the most extreme acts of political protest any human being can ever do.
HE INTENDED TO DIE NIGHTMARISHLY YOU IDIOT THAT WAS THE POINT

Frisco, you got cooked mate 😭.

A Guardian Angel?

Now, after I was banned, another user made a post about the ban upon myself, which generated a fair amount of interest, you fucking drama frogs. Here, I simply wish to make four remarks:

• I'm sure you can see how different in tone, rhetoric, and substance OP’s post is compared to my original post (for those of you that remember reading it), and compared to this post. There are a number of insults that are frequently used against 4THOT which I don’t use as I’m looking for good-faith engagement from him. That being said, I appreciate the fact that OP wasn’t looking for a meaningful, productive exchange with 4THOT here, and thus they didn’t feel the need to temper their rhetoric.
• In the pinned comment, 4THOT uses a fair amount of hyperbole. The original post was very benign, and didn’t come anywhere close to conveying a sentiment that “this Reddit is ruined” or “4THOT is literally the IDF.” I don’t see how you can come away with this reading considering how mild the post was.
• Once more, I am not here to relitigate this, but I would have loved to address some of the criticism levelled against myself in the comments under OP’s post; I certainly wasn’t going to re-open those conversations a month later. That being said, I appreciate users like Wannabe_Sadboi for making the arguments that I, more or less, would have made had I had the opportunity to immediately respond. Just to quote one of their comments: “People shouldn’t be banned for being partisan, they should be banned only for breaking rules, and Splemndid didn’t break any rules.” But, apparently, there are rules being broken here, and it is not clear what these rules are, and whether or not Destiny approves of them.
• If the original post was problematic because it was too indirect, then hopefully this post which is significantly more direct — but kept well under the threshold of something that could be constituted as a “hate-post” — should not be a problem.

Chilling Effect. Brrr 🥶

When I was hit with the 30 day ban, I sent a direct appeal hoping the length of the ban would at least be reduced, which didn't receive a response, and neither did sending an unban request via the unban request form. No biggie. At least with a temporary ban I know when to expect to be unbanned.
After the 30 day ban, I decided to give up doing two things: (1) making attempts to get other users unbanned when I felt the justifications were not cogent or fair; and (2) participating in I-P threads that 4THOT himself had already made comments within — in particular, those where he was actively arguing with other users on the subreddit. This is a bad chilling effect; even if I see a comment they have made where they’ve made a false claim, or I disagree with their analysis or moral claims, I’m choosing not to engage because I'd rather not go through yet another cycle of bans. I value shitposting in the subreddit more than having arguments with 4THOT.
Moreover, I’m also not interested in getting caught in the crossfire when, upon finishing his Reddit debate, he bans his interlocutor from the subreddit, and also those who have made similar comments to the one his interlocutor has espoused elsewhere in the thread. He does not always do this, and I would literally never make the claim that he just “ban everyone that disagrees with [him]”. I won’t call this hyperbole as I’m sure someone has levelled this incorrect accusation against him. 4THOT is capable — and has demonstrated on myriad occasions — of being able to have dispassionate disagreements. The issue is that I’m not interested in rolling the dice here with another ban.
Thus, I decided to avoid 4THOT entirely while participating in the sub as normal, making the usual shitposts. (Y’all are welcome for the template, btw. I went frame by frame, looking for the shot of Destiny at his most euphoric.) Alas, woe is me, I made a fatal error: I can’t avoid 4THOT if I choose to comment in a thread first. Browsing new, the bane of my existence, Hobbitfollower you dastardly devil.

The Nuke: A Muddled Statement and Different Interpretations

In the trenches of new, I came across a submission which posted this version of a Jerusalem Post article. If you've read The Six Points, then you can see what I'm attempting to do in my comment, that was apparently egregious enough to warrant banning me “until Israel/Palestine is over.” Before I go over this, I’m going to once again link the comment I made on this subreddit defending Israel from the accusation that they have been siding with ISIS for years.

Consistency

I apply the exact same methodology when dispelling conspiracy theories on Israel as I do for the UN official whose comments are the subject of the post. I’m digging up the relevant primary sources; I’m searching for archived versions of articles posted on inactive websites; I’m reading multiple articles from different Israeli outlets reporting on the same speech; and I’m reading the entire transcript of the nearly hour-long speech by the head of the Israeli Military Intelligence at the time, Herzi Halevi, just so I can make an informed comment here. At no point am I ever concerned that I could be banned for this comment. I can freely talk about anti-Israel propaganda, and I know no moderator is going to bat an eye at that.
I recently watched a Hasan video because dgg taught me the art of hate-watching, and now I hate-watch dgg while they hate-watch Hasan. Early on in the video, an article headline by the Intercept is shown: “Leaked Cables Show White House Opposes Palestinian Statehood.” Ken Klippenstein appears in the byline, which immediately sets off a red flag for me because I’ve found reporting by him in the past to be absolutely dreadful, including the time when he used to work for the Grayzone, where he gave Seymour Hersh a softball interview, and allowed him to spread risible conspiracy theories. The Intercept article shown in Hasan’s video doesn't provide the cables they are reporting on, but they are available on Ken’s substack. Without going on a tangent, unsurprisingly, the Intercept’s piece on these cables misrepresents them (IMO).
Similarly, when I had a discussion with a tankie on another subreddit on whether or not the 2010 Australian Labor Party leadership spill was “a US-backed coup”, I once again seeked out all the relevant and many Wikileaks cables, read them all, and made my own assessment.

Dolls

Enough examples! You get the idea! I have a consistent principle that I am applying here. Upon opening up the JP article OP submitted, I see Danielle Greyman-Kennard in the byline. This is a person who previously wrote an article claiming that a dead Palestinian baby was a doll (which is not the first or last time this has happened in general; Pallywood amirite?). When it was brought to her attention that this is a body going through rigor mortis, she doubled-down in a patronising tweet.
Eventually, someone at the JP realized the fuck-up, and the article was retracted. There are a number of journalists and writers for Israeli outlets that seek to publish or tweet out any information that casts pro-Palestine organisations or individuals in a bad light — and that’s fine. If you’re pro-Palestine, and you’re saying or doing some dumb shit, that’s on you, not the individual that wants to report on it. However, there are biases at play here, where one must be cognizant of how these biases can filter down into how information is presented.

Direct Appeal

The following is the direct appeal I sent when I was banned which will serve as a clarification on the comment:
What up, I initially disagreed with your assessment, but upon re-reading it, now I'm unsure what our disagreement is, and what you think I was trying to address in my comment. Hopefully, the following will serve as clarification.
When I opened up the submission, I read the headline, I read the article, I watched the clip contained within, and then I sought out any additional footage from the interview that was readily available. The safe assumption I make when it comes to article submissions on reddit is that folk are generally not going to read the article, and will likely only comment based on the headline. If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed. The headline of the Jerusalem Post article is:

UN Special Rapporteur 'unaware' of rocket attacks on Israel

If you asked the average person what they thought this headline meant, they would think the UNSR thought there had been no rocket attacks launched against Israel ever or since the start of the war. As evidence that some came away with this conclusion, you can read [redacted link] here posted on [redacted subreddit] (emphasis mine):

This can't be real right? This is a fake article right? Or a satire piece? Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks, then they have no right having anything to do with the global politics or whatever it is the UN does. That's just insane.

In other words, this individual is in disbelief, and they're astonished that Reem Alsalem, the UNSR, is completely unaware of any rocket/missile attacks that have been fired against Israel ever. Here I hope we can acknowledge two things: (1) Alsalem does believe there have been missile attacks against Israel at various points in time; and (2) most pro-Hamas sycophants aren't going to deny these missile attacks have taken place -- they want these attacks to take place. Alternatively, they might seek to diminish the destructive capability of these attacks, or assert that it is Israel's fault these attacks are occurring. It's pretty rare to come across someone claiming they've never happened, period.
My comment was made to highlight that she was really caught up in the frequency of the attacks and how she was possibly misinterpreting the question. Reem Alsalem has a wide litany of dumb beliefs that you can criticize her on; in this case, I thought the criticism would be better directed for being unaware of the frequency of attacks. The JP itself does include a line that would have better served as a headline:

[UN Special Rapporteur] unaware of the frequent rocket attacks made by Hamas and Hezbollah against Israel.

As mentioned, I was trying to ensure that commenters didn't make comments like the one I linked. Re-reading my own comment, it could have been phrased better to make sure that those who read it understood my intentions.

Further comments

The rest of the direct appeal consisted of me clearing up any misconceptions that I might be pro-Hamas, providing various links of comments that demonstrate what my beliefs are. This my attempt to "pass the litmus test" as I don't believe I'm being engaged on the merits of my argument.
Once again, as I’ve hopefully established by now, we know there can be a widespread reluctance here to sometimes read past the headline and open the article, and even the article itself might not have sufficient context to truly parse what is being said. At the time, the only additional footage available from the interview was the five minute, heavily edited clip compilation available on the interviewer’s Twitter. It is just… irritating to watch. Partly because, as I said, I have to suffer through listening to Alsalem’s asinine beliefs, but also because it’s so chopped up that I can't quite tell what’s been cut out, what statements are directly following from which questions, and so on.
Other users also had interpretations of their own to give, taking note of the fact that there may be an edit after she says "but". I actually don’t think there was anything additional said, and it’s just awkwardly edited. However, unlike with Herzi Halevi’s speech, I and everyone else watching these clips are working with scraps here, and the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same. There is ambiguity here; an amorphous, nebulous, incoherent jumble of statements where one can make a range of interpretations — but one of those interpretations was not permissible on the subreddit. My own of course.
I’m still baffled as to what 4THOT’s contention here is. He comments:

!cleanse nvm you're an idiot. She says she has seen "attacks" but does not specify from where or whom or when. When he specifically asks if she's seen rocket attacks that have been reported from the north from Hezbollah and South from Hamas without "every single day" and is asked about rocket attacks from those areas says she hasn't seen it.

I presume the position he holds here is that Alsalem is being sly: when she says that she has seen attacks, she is actually referring to Israeli attacks, not Hamas or Hezbollah. For further clarity, I would have asked 4THOT:

• Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?
• If no, do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel since the initial barrage of rocket attacks on Oct. 7th?

In his first reply to my comment, he armed me and said I was his “strongest soldier.” 😳 Must have noticed these guns 💪😎. It seems like he originally agreed with me, and I don't know what impact, if any, this had on the ultimate decision.
I remember staring at this section of the unban request form thinking, "Err, I don't know." Like you all, when I've been banned by Destiny in the past, I know what to write here. He doesn't like snark; if you're being a condescending prick, get that ass banned. I have a general understanding of what sort of comments Destiny hates in this subreddit, and thus I know how to participate in the subreddit without being on the receiving end of a ban.
Taking the recommendation of another user, I cobbled together something for the unban form, and figured I'd just try again in a month. Alas, both the form and my last exchange with 4THOT was unsuccessful, and I would not have even attempted to send an unban request form to Ninou had I known that she had "orders to not unban" certain users. While I can understand that there may be certain users whose offenses are so egregious that a ban conditional on a lengthy period of time having been passed first is warranted, I don't believe I fall in this camp.
It's often stated by both Destiny and other moderators that the "process to get unbanned is pretty easy." Conditional bans tarnish the smoothness of this process, where good-faith unban requests are rejected due to the condition set, and I don't believe this should be the case.
If Destiny could offer further clarity here, that would be appreciated by both myself and others who have had this conditional ban placed upon them.

The Litmus Test:

Scroll up all the way to the top of Part 1, and what do you notice I've done in the preamble? I’m keen to avoid guilt by association; I believe Destiny just calls this being “webbed.” In the TL;DR I specifically mention the "pro-Israel crowd"; I know what this will invoke in the minds of people reading this, the associations people will draw to other people who have made criticism against the pro-Israel crowd. Thus, I feel the need to ensure that I dissociate myself from those people. That’s why you see the statement about Hasbara and brigading; it’s me raising a giant flag screeching, “Hey, I’m not like the others, this post is different!”
Let me give a couple examples here (suffer through some more examples…you must suffer…).

Example I - An Odd Title and an Audacious Inquiry

In this submission, OP posts a Twitter video with the submission title: “Reuters video shows militants armed with assault rifles atop aid convoy trucks and shooting at palstinians [sic] approaching the trucks.” Now, no one mentioned this in the comments, so to add some clarification here: this is not Reuters reporting, this is a clip from a Reuters live stream showing a view from a tent camp in Rafah. (Specific timestamp here.) Anyone watching this stream can clip whatever noteworthy event they see and add their own statements on what has transpired. As far as I can tell, that seems to be what the original clip here from N12 news has done, and it was also posted on their website, with no additional details.
This individual (henceforth called Doc) asked some fair questions. They made mistakes, of course, such as watching the clip on mute (you silly goose); but I would agree that “shooting at palstinians [sic]” invokes an image of, well, Palestinians being riddled with bullets, and instead we get what seems to be shots fired into the air. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that the title reflect this distinction. What’s unfortunate here is that merely attempting to get an accurate summary is enough for OP to assume the worst about them, and thus we get the rebuke: “Keep dicksucking the terrorists stealing the aid.” I’ve seen Doc’s comments before, when they say they’re an “Israel stan”, they are. But for OP, they immediately engaged in “the web”, guilt by association, etc., and that was enough to result in this petty infighting. I thought leftists were the only ones that did that?

Example II - No Steelmans Allowed

In the second example, it’s me that’s on the receiving end of the purity test. Personally, as someone who is not a leftist (see what I’ve done there?), I do think a considerable number of y’all miss the mark when it comes to criticising leftists, and I attempt to steelman their positions as I find that to be more conducive for better discourse. Feel free to disagree with the steelman, the point is that merely providing that steelman is enough for OP to assume that these are my own positions — despite clearly stating multiple times that I’m not pro-Palestine, that I support Operation Prosperity Guardian, etc. Once again I bring up that I have defended Israel from silly conspiracy theories when they mentioned “your tribe”, as that’s my attempt to pass the litmus test, demonstrating my impartiality here.

Example III - ???

I'm not sure if 4THOT engaged in a similar type of purity testing both for the initial comment I was banned for, and also in my last exchange with them on another subreddit. The exchange was pretty bizarre: I asked if they checked Reddit DMs; they replied that they do, and “our agreement stands.” In their next reply, they mentioned that they confused me with another person, and said that, “Yes, once I/P is over I will let your people go.” That phrase “your people”, is quite similar to how the OP in the previous example said “your tribe” and “your side.” This seems to be the guilt by association I spoke on: I’m being lumped in with a group whose views generally don’t align with my own. That’s why part 1 begins with an introduction on myself. I need to pass the litmus test first before I can get good engagement — and it’s unfortunate that I feel compelled to do that.

Engage in good-faith

The conclusion here is a simple one: don't assume what positions your interlocutor holds merely because they're skeptical about that framing of certain stories, or because they attempt to provide a steelman for the opposing side.

Finito for Real

What I’m looking for here is clarity. UN officials will continue to say and do stupid things; that applies to pro-Palestine people, that applies to leftists. But every now and then, upon seeing one of these submissions, I might think, “Eh, this is pretty stupid, but I think it’s stupid for slightly different reasons to everyone else.” Can I express those opinions here? Must I add a preamble to every comment so that people don’t assume the worst? Do I need to be thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what 4THOT thinks about this story?”

Free me OOOO 🐟

Thanks to everyone that offered feedback. :)
Edit: o7
Responding via edits is silly. Standard hyperbolic response, as I mentioned below. But I gotta address two things just so y'all aware that I can offer a rebuttal if need be. 4THOT says:

Here's the full interview with the UN Rapporteur on Violence against Women claiming she isn't aware of the rocket attacks - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/bar-shemur-8b1bb23b_the-un-rapporteur-on-violence-against-women-activity-7171212859895459841-gq6B

I don't know why he's attempting to "find" the "full interview". The linkedin video he has given here is literally the exact same video I gave in my comment. Click the hyperlink saying "the lengthier clip." They're both posted by the interviewer, Bar Shem-Ur. Mate, did you even read my original comment? If you scroll down this page (part 3), you can see I say "the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same." I searched for where the footage originally aired and found no additional material. 4THOT, mate, the "clip-chimp" is this 30s clip the Jerusalem Post originally posted. When I say "lengthier" clip, I am talking about the 5min segment that you had to "find" despite the fact that I already found it.

nvm this dipshit didn't find the actual interview, this is a cut from twitter

Once again, the video from Twitter I provided is the exact same video as the linkedin one. There is no entire, unedited full interview anywhere without the tiktok rapid cuts. There might be more footage out there, who knows, I've literally never claimed to have found the "full" interview. I called it a clip compilation because I don't know if more footage exits. Another baffling response. Anyways, I'll leave the rest, this is not the way to have a back-and-forth. Toodles! XD
Edit 2: Just to clarify what I was attempting to do in my comment, 4THOT still has not directly answered this question from part 3, the main post:

Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?

I honestly don't remember the last time I saw someone claim that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel; this would be an astronomically fringe position. If you read the headline of the JP alone, and maybe even the article, you can still come away with the conclusion that Alsalem believes that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel. I gave evidence of the fact that some people came away with this conclusion in the redacted comment:

Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks,

I don't believe that to be true; Alsalem has not lived her entire life unaware of the rocket attacks. We need more evidence to establish that then this interview.
Notice how I have actually quoted 4THOT verbatim down below? But for some reason, I need to provide a "direct link" to it, even though you can see it if you just scroll down the page? Baffling, like I said. "Isn't that interesting?" You're quoted verbatim mate! What do you think is "interesting" here?
4THOT you are killing me:

Here's the actual thread where you were banned.

I've literally linked the thread I was banned twice. A third time as well if you want to include the moment where I linked someone else's comment in that thread.
I never said the headline is "incorrect" these are the actual words I used in my direct appeal:

If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed.

I believe that the headline could lead to a misinterpretation. I was later proven to be correct. I provided evidence of that misinterpretation in the direct appeal. And 4THOT refuses to engage with any of it. Again, these edits reply are so silly. I have no idea why he's so reluctant to have an actual exchange. Finito once more. I gotta go get some cheese balls...

I have a corny long-winded rant to share on why I feel this way:
Not Like Us has the potential to become the greatest diss track ever. It has the bop of California love, the hard-hitting lyrical mindset of a No Vaseline or Hit Em Up, while having quotables that fans catch on to using like Ether. F.A.N. is now becoming a pejorative just like how Nas made Stan popular after Eminem first used it. He flipped the 69 God thing on Certified Pedophile.
And it is going against not some random Compton jerkoff, not MGK, but one of the five defining hip hop artists of the 21st century who has tens of millions of listeners and fans and supporters. This is massively difficult and could have proven to be unpopular. And holy shit, he actually pulled it off.
He made Pusha T's assault on Aubrey look like a limp wristed punch. And Pusha T is an all time great MC with a decorated career and diss on Drake of his own. This month has been humiliating Drake in the process, to the point his career may have jumped the shark while doing even just damage control. God forbid even half the stuff Kendrick said is true regarding the Canadian.
The crazy part? Kendrick MIGHT HAVE MORE TO UNLOAD. This feels like we saw Michael Jordan win his sixth ring at 30 years old. What if he films a Not Like Us video with the 11 year old neglected Daughter of Drake in it? Probably unlikely but I'm not betting against Kendrick on anything at this point. It's probably overkill too, like Kratos punching Hercules' face off in God of War 3 kind of overkill.
Now let's take a step back: Kendrick has dissed Drake in five different ways in a month. Like That is a bravadacious, boastful Muhammad Ali-esque reaffirming message that he's Big Me. 6:16 is a mellower, still critical blasting of Drake, kinda Section 80ish. Not Like Us is a disrespectful as fuck club banger that's about to take over the Internet and even sports stadiums. Euphoria is a methodical bop that compels you to listen and then you make fuck face kinda reactions as you listen to it. Meet the Grahams is pure evil, so sinister you can't help but repeat the last verse ripping Drake fraudulent image apart.
Kendrick has never made an album that sounded the same as a previous release, yet still keeps tremendous quality. Albums that initially polarize even the harshest critics age well and most of the time he is universally praised anyways. His worst formally released album in his catalog might be Damn, and it won a fucking Pulitzer Prize. LMAO.
But I think the one thing Kendrick was missing was an iconic showdown in front of the world, online or in real life, against a major musical competitor, and a lot of people thought that would be J Cole or Drake as time went on but it never happened. It would've been easier for him to outrap either of these two, but Drake is supposedly way more popular, having double to triple the online reach and has a global presence that few rival. Taking that on could've been intimidating or career damaging with the amount of networking Drake has. He's a huge presence, period. Like it or not, Drake has massively influenced American, and global, pop culture. We still subconsciously quote him even in jest at times.
And Kendrick has poured kerosene on that presence and spit fire on the gas trail. He has objectively, utterly humiliated Drake, and whether he is lying or not (and he appears to be mostly truthful) it no longer matters. He won and has the entire rap community on his side right now. It's near universal outside of Drake's diehards, a few notable contrarians like 50 and Game, and major record labels with conflict of interest financially speaking on Drake's side.
Canada, even in major cities, is turning on Drake. The record sales and streaming back this up. God forbid Mr. Degrassi 69 walks into California in public without being catcalled a chomo going forward.
There's literal children and girls that don't even like hip hop making Tik Tok dances to A-MINORRRRRRRRRRR and OV HOOOEEEEE which is extending the Drake bashing indefinitely. It's mid-Spring entering Summer. This song is going to be blasted from Compton to Newfoundland and big bouncy titties, thick assed girls in swimsuits and guys in baggy pants and skinny jeans and dudes on the basketball courts all over the walks of life are going to be C-Walking all over Drake's corpse.
Kendrick Lamar, in the past few weeks, has embodied the phrase "Win the War, then Fight the War" from Sun Tzu. He went in with a plan to utterly destroy Drake and it worked, even when it appeared Drake would at least have half the community side with him by default. J Cole wisely fucked off from engaging Kendrick or otherwise he would've been destroyed too. Nobody is making fun of him anymore for apologizing, for being the Switzerland in this rap WWII conflict.
And this beef, and how it went down systematically, has separated him from everyone else. Even with Ether and Hit Em Up, Nas and Tupac didn't destroy their enemies irreparably. Biggie, Jay-Z and Mobb Deep ultimately have respected legacies. Ice Cube thoroughly dismantled NWA with No Vaseline, but Eazy-E even after being outed as a corrupt business partner has an OG legacy and Dr. Dre is a billionaire producer and businessman.
Kendrick did to Drake what Anderson Silva did to Forrest Griffin in 2009. All his hits hit and Griffin just missed everything before the third knockdown (Not Like Us). It's Germany vs. Brazil in the World Cup winning 7-1 kinda embarrassing at this point.
Maybe Drake re-emerges somehow. Maybe he does enough PR damage control to have a decent career after this. But nothing will be the same as he might put it on one of his older albums.
I don't think it's hyperbole to think about the magnitude of what Kendrick just accomplished. The most he has hitting his image currently, is that Drake and his posse are reminding casual fans and independent neutral viewers that Kendrick cheated on/hit his mother of two kids that he hadn't seen in a while, and that Kendrick is soapbox preachy. I hope he didn't actually hit Whitney or neglect his babies, doubtful as that claim is. Even if that's true, that's not anywhere near as bad as being a fucking child molester or creepy groomer. Hell Tupac went to jail for a year for alleged sexual assault and nobody even brings it up anymore.
That's how bad Drake got destroyed. Rap and R&B fans generally overlook shit (see R Kelly) and there will be a decent plenty that do even in Drake's case. But he has lost his grip over the universe fawning over him. And Kendrick is majorly responsible for that happening. That is quite simply a tremendous accomplishment, one that in my judgement puts Kendrick above the inner circle of rap greats, making him the greatest ever.
And by the way, even if that recent overreaction from some paranoid opinion havers takes place, that "Kendrick could get himself killed for this beef" ever happens, God Forbid, that would only double down the people's love for Kendrick being the 🐐 because we just saw it with MJ, Prince, Tupac, Proof and XXXTentacion. When beloved artists die we push them even higher in legacy. It's a lot like Avon vs Marlo in The Wire. Marlo is Drake, and people like Kendrick, that won the streets in the game, they're Avon.
We are watching history and it's fucking delightful. Kendrick is gonna be more than Alright. He's going to be legendary for this alone, in a long list of legendary accomplishments in his wonderful career.
Above all else, thank you for at least taking on this sissy, fake culture vulture piece of shit, because a lot of us were wanting to see it as the rumors and videos and degenerate stories about Drake, Diddy, etc were emerging the past few years. For someone who is supposed to be boring, Kendrick, you sure made a watershed event in modern music history.

Hello Charlotte! I’m a recent subscriber of your YouTube channel. I’ve been binge watching your videos, particularly the ones about weddings and bridezillas ever since January of this year. They have been truly entertaining to listen to. Though I found them a great watch, I never thought any of those things would actually happen to me. This is going to be a long story. Let me give you a little background. My husband and I met 2 years ago due to his dad’s persistent pestering of us. He had tried getting us to meet sooner but we had different people in our lives and it wasn’t the right time. Well, fast forward, we introduced ourselves to each other through facebook messenger and automatically clicked. Turns out that we were both equally yoked in personality and on the same page of what we wanted in life. I couldn’t ask for anyone better. On last Christmas Eve, he proposed. It was a pleasant surprise. He had put a lot of thought into the proposal and a couple of family members were there to see it happen. Everything was great! We are simple people and didn’t want to drag out the time planning for an extravagant wedding. We wanted to focus more on the reception party and honeymoon, so we decided to have a small courthouse wedding. The plans were to have the courthouse wedding in spring with a few close friends and family members, go to some restaurant to eat, and have our official wedding reception party with more of our extended family and friends at a later time in the summer. But as you would have it, our plans had to be readjusted. For some reason, our city’s courthouse no longer does courthouse wedding ceremonies. You can only purchase your license through them. Not sure why. To say the least, I was a little bummed but I knew of some alternative methods.

1 Go to a different town to get married (thinking back, I probably should have)

2 Ask a friend or family member to get quick ordained minister license

3 Get married at the church you grew up at

We chose #3
In the early days of our engagement people had been encouraging us to seek spiritual counseling before exchanging our vows. It’s a tradition in both sides of our family and in our religion. We both saw nothing wrong with it and thought it might even be a great starting point. Of course we would be seeking this counseling from my pastor. My husband was not a member of any church yet, though he does share the same religious beliefs as me.
After the failed courthouse wedding idea, we ultimately decided to have a church wedding. The pastor of the church I attended was a friend of my late father, even going as far to telling everyone since my father’s passing, for years, that my dad was his best friend. So needless to say, it wasn’t too difficult a decision to ask him if he could both counsel and marry us. It made sense and would feel more intimate.
I was a bit on the Fritz about him marrying us, because ever since Covid, I had not been as active in church as I had been before. Though I do attend, just not as regularly as I did before. Also, many of the people that attend there are very judgmental and nosy and I would just rather stay away from all of that. Despite all of this, we asked the pastor and he agreed and told us the thing he required to marry us was him providing marriage counseling. We already knew this and agreed.
We told him that we were planning our small wedding for March. He said it was fine and because of his work schedule outside of the church and me and my husband’s work hours, we made adjustments according to what would work best for all of us. He scheduled for us to meet 4 sessions, though he said he usually required 8. He said it was because of the closeness of our wedding. To my husband and I, because our wedding ceremony was going to be very small and non- traditional, either 4 or 8 sessions, would of been fine. We told him this. We would have just pushed back the ceremony date. No biggie. He said it was okay and that 4 sessions would be more than enough. We understood and started our counseling in early January. Before starting, he told us that as a member of the church, I am entitled to use the church sanctuary without paying. However, we would have to pay to use the multi-purpose room if we had a reception there. Red flag number 1. It didn’t sound right to me considering the entire church building was practically donated by non church members and that it should be a given that a sanctuary should be free for any believer to use. But I stayed quiet because nothing he said would have negatively impacted us anyway. We were not planning our reception there, but at another facility at a later date.
I went into the sessions excited to learn but was underwhelmed and disappointed. The sessions were not very helpful. I am not one to knit-pick or who loves complaining but we did not get anything new, helpful, or useful out of those meetings. The counseling consisted of us doing most of the talking. No inputs or critiques from him or anything. When we first met with him he asked us if we had any questions even though we had yet to cover anything. I thought maybe it was an icebreaker to loosen the nerves of talking about our relationship with someone other than ourselves. However, it was 1 of literally a few things he ever really said to us. There was nothing new or really helpful we learned during our times there. Other than him praying and saying to “keep God first”, “follow your husband “, “protect your wife”, handing us a marriage book with no particular instructions on what chapter or lessons to read, and him telling us to watch Fireproof (a Christian-related marriage movie), there was nothing constructive. Some may think it was because our session amounts were only 4. I would be inclined to agree if those sessions in themselves had not been shortened and rushed by him. Let me break it down. We had 4 sessions. The first session lasted 45 minutes, the second session lasted 10 minutes, the third session lasted an hour, the last session lasted 5 minutes (in which he 30 minutes late). The sessions that lasted the longest were the ones in which we did all or most of the talking and telling him about what chapters and lessons WE chose to read from the book. There was not much discussion or feedback, just us telling him everything.
We didn’t expect him to have the same quality as someone with a PHD, but before getting started with the “counseling” this man emphasized how he had the qualifications and as a man who has been married for 40 plus years, we were in the right direction. We got more insight from listening to our own relatives than we got from our sessions from him.
Well anyways let me give you some insight on why I had chosen the title for this post. Beyond the awful counseling, I should have seen the other signs as they were there. I sometimes just try and brush things off and give people the benefit of the doubt. Not overthink all the time.
After our last session (the 5 minute one), my mom, who was with us and waiting in the lobby, told him that even though it’s going to be small she would still like to decorate a little. He said that it was okay but then tried to encourage us to use an old crusty metal arch and candelabra for the price of $100 total. Red flag number 2. My mom, having had been a former member there years ago, remembered how it was donated by some people years ago. He reintegrated that not only did he buy it, but owns it but charges people to use it. Using the Lord’s house to make a profit doesn’t exactly sit well with us so we declined. She told him that there was no need because we had our own items.
The day before the wedding, when my mom and I went to decorate the sanctuary we were met with the pastor’s wife and the pianist, who were talking in the sanctuary. The pastor had texted me earlier and said the church would be open for us to decorate. As we entered, the two of them looked at us like we had grown 3 heads. It’s not like they hadn’t seen me around before and I assumed the pastor had told his wife that we had come to decorate. She acted like she had no idea why we were even there. To eliminate the confusion, we told her. With her not being a very friendly person to begin with, she acted icily towards us and continued her conversation with the pianist. We ignored her coldness and did what we came there to do. We were not going to use the pianist for the wedding. We were just going to use my husband’s Bluetooth speaker, pick a pretty intro song, and call it a day.
The day of the wedding was on a Friday. It was the best and most anxious time of my life. My appearance was everything I had ever wanted! Simple yet elegant! My husband was so handsome. Everything was great until the pastor started talking. I don’t consider myself a bridezilla but I do expect the officiant to know what they are going to say beforehand or at least have something written up to read or marked. The pastor completely rushed the ceremony. He left out important parts of what you traditionally say to the bride and groom during the ceremony, such as the reciting and repeating of the ring vow and the speak now or forever hold your peace part. He had my husband say his ring vow but forgot to have me say mine. He kept losing his spots and frantically flipping through pages all over his bible. He stuttered through almost the entire ceremony. FYI, I am someone who also grew up stuttering and had to take classes from the age of 3 to 15. His stuttering came from rushing, not nervousness. There were no more than 10 people in that room. He has preached to hundreds. By the grace of God, we had the foresight to write our own vows. Thank goodness. That at least was something.
After the ceremony was over, we were headed to a nearby area to take pictures. Everyone was in their cars, except for my husband who was far off on the other end of the parking lot, giving his best man directions on where to go (he had came from out of state). I was getting ready to get in the car when the pastor bursted out of the church, yelled my name frantically, and ran towards me. I was confused and thought something had happened. I thought maybe I had forgotten our marriage license. But nothing could have prepared me for what he would say next. I asked him what was the problem. He said “are you gonna give me a little something, something “. I was confused and said “a little something, something?” He said “Are you going to bless me?” I told him, we had a gift coming for him in the mail and that we would bless him with that and make a donation to the church. He yelled at me and said “No! You don’t give money to the church, you give that money to ME! I LABOREDI set aside a lot of time! You owe me! That’s my money!” I was so taken back. This man, who always tells everyone that he’s my deceased father’s best friend couldn’t wait until, at the very least, another day to say that to me. I was already emotional not having my dad there and this man, who makes probably 5 times more than me and my husband combined AND has a daughter our age, had his hand out demanding money. He did not tell us that we had to pay him. Never even hinted at it. There was no contract or talk about his fee. I assumed his pastor fee was covered in my membership tithes and offerings. He told us that it was an honor to marry his best friend’s daughter. He only said we’d have to pay if we used the multi-purpose room and that rusted arch and candelabra. Even though that in itself sounded strange. Without going into great detail about what this pastor’s job is outside of church, he works in a very profitable profession that allows him to purchase things and go places that we cannot afford.
Back to the story, I tried to stay calm even though I was shaking with hurt and rage and told him that I could give him the gift and a financial “blessing” but he would first have to wait because #1 the item had not come in the mail yet #2 he had to wait until I got paid again in another week because due to unforeseen circumstances my husband had gotten laid off of his job the week prior. My husband works fast and had gotten hired by another job 5 days after, but wouldn’t start the job till the next week after the wedding and not receive a paycheck for another 2 to 3 weeks. The pastor didn’t care and kept repeating the same thing. I lost it and yelled, “well I already told you what I could do!” He grumbled and stormed back to the church, slamming, and locking the front door. My husband rushed to me to see what was wrong and I told him. My mom and wedding party were confused as to why we hadn’t left yet and what was all the yelling about. I told them. My mom was pissed to say the least. I searched in my regular purse, that I had chosen to bring alongside my wedding purse, just in case, for any kind of money I might have to give to this greedy man. Luckily I found $40. My last $40 and I went to my mom and told her that I was going to give him this and wash my hands of this situation. Like I said before, she was pissed! Probably more pissed than me. She said, “let me do it for you” and grabbed the money and went to the entrance. The door was locked so she went to the back of the building, where there was another entrance door, leading to his office. I wasn’t there but she told me that she had told him how disappointed she was with him and asked how he could do that on such an important day (literally 20 minutes after the ceremony). He showed no empathy or remorse so she told him that he obviously needs this money more than us and threw the money at him and left. Needless to say, his actions put a damper on the day. I cried so much after we went home. I was so let down. I had him in such a high regard. Had my dad been alive he wouldn’t have done that.
To make it all worst, I found out the next day that he was indeed trying to take advantage charge us for things he was not supposed to. A long story short, due to the confusion and stress of the wedding day, we had misplaced some items and thought we had left them at the church. I contacted my uncle’s ex wife who is a prominent worker in the church and asked her if she could meet us at the church to retrieve the items. She agreed and I told her what had happened. The irony is, she was actually the church event planner. She had taken on that role for the last 6 months. She had no idea that we were even getting married the day we were. She said the pastor had not discussed anything with her. After going into detail about what happened she said that I should not have been told that I’d be charged for anything because literally everything was donated, including multi-purpose room, the arch, and candlabra. She said she didn’t understand why the pastor didn’t send us to her from the start. She even went as far as to say that we didn’t even have to use the pastor to marry us in the church. We could have used someone, anyone else. The church is for anyone to use and not confined to only one minister. We had been under the assumption that the pastor and the church were a package deal. She said no. She said that he should have been upfront from the beginning, especially if he was expecting a “blessing”. Also, she said that the word “blessing” should have been worded differently, because a blessing is special and not just specific to money. He should have said “this is my fee”, I charge this for my services. That way, people will know their expectations. She apologized for his behavior and said that he was as wrong as “2 left shoes.” She and people from the wedding party, that I later told about this, said if we are judging his fee or “blessing” based on his quality of service $40 was way too generous.
That Sunday I was over to my mom’s house when she called the church to set up an appointment to talk to him herself again. This time with his deacons present to address his behavior. I told her not to worry about it but she insisted that it was not going to be a conversation primarily on our behalf but also the wedding party’s. They were impacted and drained by the incident too. My husband and I, however, were going to talk to him ourselves once we were emotionally ready at a later time. Well anyways, once she got him on the phone she was civil with him and asked if he would be willing to meet and talk about what happened. She took it as personal as I did, considering he was always boasting about how he was her husband’s (my father’s) best friend. She added that he needed to apologize to my husband and I, the wedding party, and to his congregation for his recent behavior. He got defensive and said that he didn’t owe us anything and that we owed him. After my mom asked him what exactly we owed him, considering we gave him our last $40. He went silent for second and countered, “your daughter doesn’t even attend church regularly”. My mom being the person that she is remarked to him “I could say the same about yours. Your own daughter doesn’t even attend your church and she lives in the same town as you”. He went silent again. She said “Pastor, you sure have changed”. He replied “Damn right I have!” And hung up the phone.
I was dumbstruck. The entire conversation was on speaker phone and with that I did something rather petty. I have no regrets. The church goes live every Sunday on Facebook for people to watch the service. I have attended quite a few online during the times I couldn’t go in person. While he was preaching about helping people, being kind to others, and how he lives by the book, I flooded the comment section in Bible quotes and scriptures about greed and love of money. There were A LOT! The person managing the live feed, commented dryly, to only leave comments related to the sermon, ending with a “thank you”. I mean, they actually were related to the sermon, more so than anyone realized.
Well, on the following Monday guess who texted me an apology. The pastor did. It was very short, so you could tell he was probably made to do it, but at least it was something. One thing that did bother me though was the spelling of my husband’s name in the message. At first I thought it was a grammatical cellphone typo, but I just had to be sure. That day we were taking our marriage licenses to the courthouse. I looked at our license, where he wrote our names and lo and behold he spelled my husband’s name wrong. His name is one of the most simple names out there. I had to go in with a pen and fix his name on the document before we turned it in. It’s by the grace of God he sent me that text, because I would not of not even had the mindset to look. Luckily I managed to fix it and we turned it in that day.
This is only one story out of two wedding dramas that happened to me but I’ll share the second one another time. Thank you for reading. Still healing from the trauma of it.

What to do? Company A comes out when we are at work but no biggie. They give us a reasonable quote to fix about a dozen slipped tiles and reseal the flashing. Company B comes out and also says reseal the flashing but no mention of any slipped tiles. We were home for this one and when I asked if he saw any slipped tiles he said no. I mentioned another company said we had slipped tiles and he said maybe they were talking about some tiles with chipped corners that were missing but we can get by without replacing them - it’s normal wear and tear. They have pixs of the flashing needing repair and their quote is reasonable as well. So would you go with Company A or B? Roof is 23 years old - no signs of leaks and is located in cold desert of SW US. Thanks.

Source Link: indianexpress.com
Currently the spotlight is on exorbitant entourage costs of actors and outrageous demands -- having a burger delivered in the middle of a jungle or a star demanding his entire family travels on international schedules, be housed in palatial villas.
After surpassing every possible movie making obstacle, a Bollywood producer gears up for the final leg of his film release– the promotions. Their star has agreed for a day-long media marathon. The maker has agreed, as per the contract, to pay for the staff of the said star. A lot of money is riding on the film. But at the end of the day, the stylist of the star hands over their bill of Rs 2 lakhs, twice the amount that was agreed upon, to the producer. What went wrong? A simple dress change by the star.
“Because the star changed two outfits, the charge went from Rs 1 lakh a day! Sometimes all that is a producer is praying for, is to keep these additional costs in check,” revealed an industry source as Indianexpress.com tried finding out what is currently ailing the Hindi film industry.
There is an increased demand of an urgent re-look at the functioning of the industry, where blame lies across all departments of movie making. Producers have been called out for setting a dangerous trend of offering buy-one-get-one ticket schemes to the audience and also for breeding and empowering paid trade influencers, which have cast a massive credibility cloud on the industry.
But there is also something else that is plaguing Bollywood for a long time– star fees and the ever-increasing overhead costs. With the recent big scale failures of Ajay Devgn’s Maidaan and Akshay Kumar and Tiger Shroff’s Bade Miyan Chote Miyan, there is a sharper focus to set things right, as films in production battle staggering increase in costs, while those announced are either getting shelved or are being sent back to stage one to revise their budgets.
How overhead costs of stars run into crores
Indianexpress.com spoke to multiple industry sources to find out what exactly is happening behind the scenes, and how they are affecting the way movies are made and released. “It is absolute chaos, and one that everyone is silently talking about. Every producer is calling his trusted people and venting. There is trouble in paradise,” a source shared.
The case for star fees, and the need to keep them in check, has been an ongoing battle that has been widely reported. In a 2022 report, Indianexpress.com did a deep dive of star fees structure going through a reshuffle post pandemic. As things got back on track, so did the old ways. When a star is signed for a film, they come on board for a quoted price, that is exclusive of the fees of their staff, which amounts to the overhead cost, borne entirely by the producer. The entourage includes hair and makeup, stylists, spot boy, manager, sometimes even bouncers.
How star management agencies add to the cost
Earlier, a producer and director would approach an actor for a script they feel the star would be perfect for. The star would then quote a figure, which would be agreed upon after negotiations. While the trajectory remains mostly the same, there is a slight addition: the inclusion of the star’s management agency.
“Even if the star has an equation with the makers, often they involve the agency for the commercials. They negotiate the financials at a rate higher than the market value, because they need to take their cut. So, if an actor’s market value is Rs 25 cr, they will quote Rs 30 cr from the producer. So, the overhead cost begins right from the signing stage, even before a single frame has been shot,” explained a source, adding that a management agency taking their share is fair only when they get the said project to the star, not the other way around.
In the good old times of making films, the entourage cost was taken care by the stars themselves. So, whatever their fees, a percentage of that they would themselves pay to their talent and staff. Now, if a star quotes Rs 25 cr, that amount is exclusively for them, with additional cost of staff different.
Rs 25,000 per day for a spot boy, multiple vanity vans and food trucks
The price breakup for the entourage of a star varies, but on average, a spot boy would charge Rs 25,000 per day, personal security would charge Rs 15,000 per head per day, a stylist can charge up to Rs 1 lakhs. Add to it the external expenses– demanding multiple vanity vans, food trucks and personal chefs.
“Producers give one vanity van to actors, but some have started to demand multiple vanity vans. The excuse is, Salman Khan and Ajay Devgn also have two vanity vans. The comparison is directly with those who have been here for decades and have in fact proven their might at the box office over decades,” shared a source.
The vanity van menace is not a domain only the male stars are flexing their muscles in, but also an upcoming female star, with no box office hits to her credit, who stumped a producer by demanding two vans for herself. The demand can be made, an industry source shared, but the math doesn’t add.
Overhead cost of a star can be Rs 20-22 lakh per day
“The vanity has a cost of Rs 50,000 per day. Now a vanity comes with a generator, a driver, so that cost is also there. Nowadays actors also demand food trucks, where a designated chef will cook for them. So that cost is again bourn by the producers. The overhead cost of a star amounts to Rs 20-22 lakhs per day. If a film is shot for 70 days, the overhead cost only for the male and female star would be around Rs 15-20 cr, which doesn’t even reflect anywhere on the screen,” the source shared.
A producer shared that the math doesn’t add when one examines the returns. If a star is signed at Rs 25 cr, then the makers spend an additional Rs 15 cr on the entourage cost, the total adds to Rs 40 cr just for this. To recover the additional Rs 15 cr, the film then needs to haven an opening of more than Rs 25 cr at the box office and then multiply its profits as the weekend kicks in.
The rising star fees
The rising costs coupled with the already high star fees is the “major reason” why films are getting shelved, revealed an industry insider. In an earlier interview with Indianexpress.com, trade analyst Komal Nahta had revealed that Akshay Kumar had charged over Rs 100 cr for Bade Miyan Chote Miyan while Tiger Shroff had charged Rs 35-40 cr. The film has wrapped its business around Rs 60 cr.
“Akshay Kumar charges Rs100 cr plus, and the entire business of Bade Miyan Chote Miyan will stop at Rs 60 cr. So, what is he charging Rs 100 cr for? Tiger Shroff charged some Rs 35-40 cr for this film. For what?!” thundered Komal Nahta.
Indianexpress.com corroborated the figure with multiple sources, who backed the quoted star fees. While Akshay Kumar has reportedly lowered his fees further, it has been learnt that two films of Tiger–both actioners–have now been put on the back burner post the debacle of Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. Sources revealed that projects of Ranveer Singh have also suffered budgeting setbacks as he has been having a low run at the box office.
While several young stars have been internally under fire for their entourage costs, industry sources have revealed that the A-list stars don’t fall in the bracket. If they are in a profit-sharing model, the understanding is that the production takes care of the entourage cost directly, and they act for free. “It is the guys below this ranking, who are causing a headache to the producers, some of their demands are simply outrageous,” claimed a source.
‘Get me the moon, please’
There is no end to stories of actors putting forth their demands while working on a project. It can range from insisting on having a burger delivered in the middle of a jungle, to, as apparently has been the case with a star, asking his driver in advance to drive to the city he is flying to, because he prefers to travel only in his car in the country. But not all of this on production always, so they remain a cheeky footnote in the pages of gossip.
What jumps out as a crisis, however, is when the fun is at the expense of the producer’s money. A producer shared on the condition of anonymity how a star went to shoot a film’s schedule in the UK and demanded that his entire family be there throughout. The producer reluctantly agreed after calculating the additional cost that wasn’t factored in previously and booked them an entire villa for the start to finish schedule. Everything was in place, every little thing done up as per their taste and requirements. When the family arrived to stay at the villa, the production received an angry call. The big mansion was fine, but there was no tea pot. All hell broke loose.
The same star then demanded that he would only fly via a chartered plane, and nothing less than that would do. The producer agreed for the demand and did the costing cutting where he shouldn’t have: The film’s budget, affecting its quality.
“See, one can do whatever they want with their money, but these demands burden a project primarily,” explained a source. “For example, some actors have started to demand security on sets. The producers keep a basic security on set but there are few actors who call their own security. There is a star who called for his personal security, five bouncers at Rs 15,000 each, per day.
“The security by the producer was Rs 1,200 per head. The makers said they can increase guards from their end and give additional manpower. But the star insisted that only his men would guard him. Now imagine the cost of that for the entire duration of the shoot?”
Another source shared how during outdoors, there are certain stars who ask for multiple hotel suites– one for them, second for their staff, third where they would get ready. The insider joked that there have been times when producers have booked themselves a “normal” room to cut cost, while the entourage of stars have enjoyed a luxurious stay.
“There are stars, who do meetings in hotel suites while filming outdoors for another project. The cost of the food and drinks of the guests will then also be borne by the producer of the current film!”
What’s next?
Multiple industry heads Indianexpress.com spoke to confirmed that some “concrete” steps are being taken to keep the overhead costs in check, devising ways to ensure it is a smooth ride for everyone involved. While a section blames the rise of management agencies as the “root cause”, others say they only follow what the stars ultimately demand.
“The role of agencies can’t be ruled out. It has become a monopoly of sorts where they also have their own hair and makeup guys. Because if there is a crisis with regards to, say hair and makeup, and the actor doesn’t like it, the manager will say it’s not on them as they didn’t arrange it. So, the actors have to take this route, depend on them completely for everything. How wise is it though? It is time the industry takes a firm stand,” the insider concluded.

https://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/star-fees-over-rs-100-cr-demands-for-multiple-vanity-vans-entourage-cost-of-rs-20-lakh-per-day-as-bollywood-biggies-bomb-focus-on-actors-overhead-costs-9303108/

Star fees over Rs 100 cr, demands for multiple vanity vans, entourage cost of Rs 20 lakh per day: As Bollywood biggies bomb, focus on actors’ overhead costs

Justin Joseph Rao10–13 minutes
After surpassing every possible movie making obstacle, a Bollywood producer gears up for the final leg of his film release– the promotions. Their star has agreed for a day-long media marathon. The maker has agreed, as per the contract, to pay for the staff of the said star. A lot of money is riding on the film. But at the end of the day, the stylist of the star hands over their bill of Rs 2 lakhs, twice the amount that was agreed upon, to the producer. What went wrong? A simple dress change by the star.
“Because the star changed two outfits, the charge went from Rs 1 lakh a day! Sometimes all that is a producer is praying for, is to keep these additional costs in check,” revealed an industry source as Indianexpress.com tried finding out what is currently ailing the Hindi film industry.
There is an increased demand of an urgent re-look at the functioning of the industry, where blame lies across all departments of movie making. Producers have been called out for setting a dangerous trend of offering buy-one-get-one ticket schemes to the audience and also for breeding and empowering paid trade influencers, which have cast a massive credibility cloud on the industry.
But there is also something else that is plaguing Bollywood for a long time– star fees and the ever-increasing overhead costs. With the recent big scale failures of Ajay Devgn’s Maidaan and Akshay Kumar and Tiger Shroff’s Bade Miyan Chote Miyan, there is a sharper focus to set things right, as films in production battle staggering increase in costs, while those announced are either getting shelved or are being sent back to stage one to revise their budgets.

How overhead costs of stars run into crores

Indianexpress.com spoke to multiple industry sources to find out what exactly is happening behind the scenes, and how they are affecting the way movies are made and released. “It is absolute chaos, and one that everyone is silently talking about. Every producer is calling his trusted people and venting. There is trouble in paradise,” a source shared.
The case for star fees, and the need to keep them in check, has been an ongoing battle that has been widely reported. In a 2022 report, Indianexpress.com did a deep dive of star fees structure going through a reshuffle post pandemic. As things got back on track, so did the old ways. When a star is signed for a film, they come on board for a quoted price, that is exclusive of the fees of their staff, which amounts to the overhead cost, borne entirely by the producer. The entourage includes hair and makeup, stylists, spot boy, manager, sometimes even bouncers.
Akshay Kumar, Tiger Shroff in Bade Miyan Chote Miyan.

How star management agencies add to the cost

Earlier, a producer and director would approach an actor for a script they feel the star would be perfect for. The star would then quote a figure, which would be agreed upon after negotiations. While the trajectory remains mostly the same, there is a slight addition: the inclusion of the star’s management agency.
“Even if the star has an equation with the makers, often they involve the agency for the commercials. They negotiate the financials at a rate higher than the market value, because they need to take their cut. So, if an actor’s market value is Rs 25 cr, they will quote Rs 30 cr from the producer. So, the overhead cost begins right from the signing stage, even before a single frame has been shot,” explained a source, adding that a management agency taking their share is fair only when they get the said project to the star, not the other way around.
In the good old times of making films, the entourage cost was taken care by the stars themselves. So, whatever their fees, a percentage of that they would themselves pay to their talent and staff. Now, if a star quotes Rs 25 cr, that amount is exclusively for them, with additional cost of staff different.

Rs 25,000 per day for a spot boy, multiple vanity vans and food trucks

The price breakup for the entourage of a star varies, but on average, a spot boy would charge Rs 25,000 per day, personal security would charge Rs 15,000 per head per day, a stylist can charge up to Rs 1 lakhs. Add to it the external expenses– demanding multiple vanity vans, food trucks and personal chefs.
“Producers give one vanity van to actors, but some have started to demand multiple vanity vans. The excuse is, Salman Khan and Ajay Devgn also have two vanity vans. The comparison is directly with those who have been here for decades and have in fact proven their might at the box office over decades,” shared a source.
The vanity van menace is not a domain only the male stars are flexing their muscles in, but also an upcoming female star, with no box office hits to her credit, who stumped a producer by demanding two vans for herself. The demand can be made, an industry source shared, but the math doesn’t add.

Overhead cost of a star can be Rs 20-22 lakh per day

“The vanity has a cost of Rs 50,000 per day. Now a vanity comes with a generator, a driver, so that cost is also there. Nowadays actors also demand food trucks, where a designated chef will cook for them. So that cost is again bourn by the producers. The overhead cost of a star amounts to Rs 20-22 lakhs per day. If a film is shot for 70 days, the overhead cost only for the male and female star would be around Rs 15-20 cr, which doesn’t even reflect anywhere on the screen,” the source shared.
A producer shared that the math doesn’t add when one examines the returns. If a star is signed at Rs 25 cr, then the makers spend an additional Rs 15 cr on the entourage cost, the total adds to Rs 40 cr just for this. To recover the additional Rs 15 cr, the film then needs to haven an opening of more than Rs 25 cr at the box office and then multiply its profits as the weekend kicks in.

The rising star fees

The rising costs coupled with the already high star fees is the “major reason” why films are getting shelved, revealed an industry insider. In an earlier interview with Indianexpress.com, trade analyst Komal Nahta had revealed that Akshay Kumar had charged over Rs 100 cr for Bade Miyan Chote Miyan while Tiger Shroff had charged Rs 35-40 cr. The film has wrapped its business around Rs 60 cr.
“Akshay Kumar charges Rs100 cr plus, and the entire business of Bade Miyan Chote Miyan will stop at Rs 60 cr. So, what is he charging Rs 100 cr for? Tiger Shroff charged some Rs 35-40 cr for this film. For what?!” thundered Komal Nahta.
Indianexpress.com corroborated the figure with multiple sources, who backed the quoted star fees. While Akshay Kumar has reportedly lowered his fees further, it has been learnt that two films of Tiger–both actioners–have now been put on the back burner post the debacle of Bade Miyan Chote Miyan. Sources revealed that projects of Ranveer Singh have also suffered budgeting setbacks as he has been having a low run at the box office.
While several young stars have been internally under fire for their entourage costs, industry sources have revealed that the A-list stars don’t fall in the bracket. If they are in a profit-sharing model, the understanding is that the production takes care of the entourage cost directly, and they act for free. “It is the guys below this ranking, who are causing a headache to the producers, some of their demands are simply outrageous,” claimed a source.

‘Get me the moon, please’

There is no end to stories of actors putting forth their demands while working on a project. It can range from insisting on having a burger delivered in the middle of a jungle, to, as apparently has been the case with a star, asking his driver in advance to drive to the city he is flying to, because he prefers to travel only in his car in the country. But not all of this on production always, so they remain a cheeky footnote in the pages of gossip.
What jumps out as a crisis, however, is when the fun is at the expense of the producer’s money. A producer shared on the condition of anonymity how a star went to shoot a film’s schedule in the UK and demanded that his entire family be there throughout. The producer reluctantly agreed after calculating the additional cost that wasn’t factored in previously and booked them an entire villa for the start to finish schedule. Everything was in place, every little thing done up as per their taste and requirements. When the family arrived to stay at the villa, the production received an angry call. The big mansion was fine, but there was no tea pot. All hell broke loose.
The same star then demanded that he would only fly via a chartered plane, and nothing less than that would do. The producer agreed for the demand and did the costing cutting where he shouldn’t have: The film’s budget, affecting its quality.
“See, one can do whatever they want with their money, but these demands burden a project primarily,” explained a source. “For example, some actors have started to demand security on sets. The producers keep a basic security on set but there are few actors who call their own security. There is a star who called for his personal security, five bouncers at Rs 15,000 each, per day.
“The security by the producer was Rs 1,200 per head. The makers said they can increase guards from their end and give additional manpower. But the star insisted that only his men would guard him. Now imagine the cost of that for the entire duration of the shoot?”
Another source shared how during outdoors, there are certain stars who ask for multiple hotel suites– one for them, second for their staff, third where they would get ready. The insider joked that there have been times when producers have booked themselves a “normal” room to cut cost, while the entourage of stars have enjoyed a luxurious stay.
“There are stars, who do meetings in hotel suites while filming outdoors for another project. The cost of the food and drinks of the guests will then also be borne by the producer of the current film!”

What’s next?

Multiple industry heads Indianexpress.com spoke to confirmed that some “concrete” steps are being taken to keep the overhead costs in check, devising ways to ensure it is a smooth ride for everyone involved. While a section blames the rise of management agencies as the “root cause”, others say they only follow what the stars ultimately demand.
“The role of agencies can’t be ruled out. It has become a monopoly of sorts where they also have their own hair and makeup guys. Because if there is a crisis with regards to, say hair and makeup, and the actor doesn’t like it, the manager will say it’s not on them as they didn’t arrange it. So, the actors have to take this route, depend on them completely for everything. How wise is it though? It is time the industry takes a firm stand,” the insider concluded.

CONTEXT: Me, F 19. Him, M 19 turning 20.
My boyfriend and I recently broke up and we decided to try to be friends. Because of our past, which was successful in being friends, I wanted him to be my date for my sorority formal. Just as friends, not alternative motives. I bought his suit, dressed him, and we went to a pregame one of my sisters was hosting. Very quickly, he was approached by a drunk girl, one of my sister's dates, and they began talking. No biggie... I thought. Very quickly, I realized she was HEAVILY flirting with him and he, in my interpretation, was heavily flirting back. I, being extremely uncomfortable and honestly kinda pissed, walked away cause I felt icky.
Although not my boyfriend anymore, I still expect him to respect my presence and to know not to flirt with other girls when I'm present, especially at my sorority formal. The flirting became so bad that my sister, who brought the drunk girl, came up to me and asked if she should stop it, I said yes. NOT out of jealousy but rather, I was simply very uncomfortable.
Following the formal, which was quite fun and filled with dancing, I saw he was TEXTING HIS MOTHER about the situation on the bus ride back... right in front of me. He is turning twenty and was texting his mother about how crazy I was acting. Which again, makes me SO uncomfortable with the fact that his MOTHER knows my business. Also, they exchanged phone numbers and snapchats.
After, I waited in his dorm lobby for uber. It said my uber arrived and expected him to walk me to the car, as he normally does even when we were just friends. Instead, he high-fived me and walked away. Turns out, the uber was NOT there and I waited in the dark at 2 am for twenty minutes. I was at my breaking point and started to break down. After getting back to my house, I sent him texts about how I felt and that his actions were NOT okay.
THIS MORNING, I received a LONG text from him defending himself.
Key Points (This is VIA text):
-"You didn't introduce me to anyone at the party"
-That is true and that does fall on me. He didn't know anyone at the party so that is 100000% my fault.
-"Did you expect me to follow you like a puppy dog"
-No. BUT I expect you to stick by me and to mingle with my sisters and the dates. NOT flirt with girls at MY FORMAL and not IN FRONT OF ME.
-"I thought your uber was here. It's not my fault it wasn't there"
-TBH, it's not his fault BUT I am a very petite girl who can't protect myself if someone were to attack me. I was alone. Before, he would wait with me to make sure I got home safe. In fact, almost ALL of my guy friends wait for me because that's the gentleman-like thing to do.
There are a ton more quotes I can pull but I genuinely feel like I'm crazy. I'm positive in the things I see, even though I was intoxicated but how he speaks to me makes me feel like I'm always in the wrong. I just need to know if my feelings and reactions were justified.
PS: We broke up because I cried to him about feeling insecure in comparison to other girls at my college (they all look like the stereotypical "soft look". I have very strong features and look older than most my age). He then lost feelings.
Mind you, we have broken up twice. The first time, we went completely back to normal and stayed friends. Now, most likely due to the fact we become intimate, he has taken a full 180. I to have things I need to work on, but I have distanced myself in order to work on it.
Was it the best idea to bring my ex to my formal? No. But all of my other guy friends have girlfriends and that would be weird for me to take them. However, although my ex and us not being together, I still expected him to have respect for me in MY space (a sorority function). And sadly, I can't cut him out of my life because we are all in the same friend group and that's not fair for everyone else fo me to completely leave.
PLEASE someone tell me if I am rational in my actions.

[Thumbnail🪞]
Welcome back to this write-up about a complicated artist's complicated book.
Don't be absurd, of course you have time!
Part 1 Part 2
Now that we've established what the book is about, let's take a look at The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls' rich publication and re-publication history. I promise, it's more scandalous than it sounds.

“HER SPEECH IS NOTHING, YET THE UNSHAPÈD USE OF IT DOTH MOVE THE HEARERS TO COLLECTION” (HORATIO, ACT IV SCENE 5)

As I've mentioned in the last installment, TAFWVG has been released multiple times, in multiple editions – four of them, to be precise. And I wish I was exaggerating when I say that three of those four releases have been veritable masterclasses in testing your audience's loyalty. In case you're wondering: the secret is to alter your source material in strange and unpredictable ways, while also constantly messing up on the customer service front.
Most of this installment condenses and combines these two excellent write-ups, which contain most of the receipts: TAFWVG: A History / The Bloody Crumpets: An Inconsistent History. 🔍 Anything that isn't sourced with links is in there. While there were only minor differences between the first and second pressings, the third and fourth editions came with significant alterations to the structure of the book and the story itself, notably the cast of fictional Asylum inmates... a handful of which had, in fact, been obvious avatars of EA's IRL friends and collaborators.
It turns out there are good reasons why most fiction authors don't do real-life inserts so overtly – but in EA's case, it did make sense, and was warmly embraced by fans upon release. When the book first came out, some of these people had been familiar to the fanbase for years, frequently appearing in candid pictures on EA's blog and leaving comments on the forum; some were also involved in her music and show. Recognizing that one character's name was a pun on So-and-So's username was a nice Easter egg for veteran fans, and newcomers got to learn about fandom lore; it brought the story to life and the community closer.
One side character, for instance, was named after EA's best friend from Chicago, whom many fans had had direct interactions with: she co-ran EA's online stores during the Enchant years, and acted as admin, main moderator and EA-liaison of the forum throughout its near-decade of existence.
One crazy girl who thinks she's a pirate is 100% OC... but her description and illustrations 🪞 were explicitly modeled after pictures of Bloody Crumpet Vecona (one of EA's back-up performers), who became the first stand-in pirate character 📺 in the live show. Captain Vecona was also celebrated as the “Asylum Seamstress” 🪞🔍: most of the iconic early Opheliac costumes were her design. She had a following of her own, even prior to touring with EA, for her professional costuming work and her collaborations with German photographer Angst-im-Wald. (Shitty archive link, sorry - most of those badass photoshoots seem to have been lost to time. But if you were a European goth in the mid-2000s, search your old hard drives: I promise you, you've downloaded some of those pictures.)
Inmate “Veronica”, a cabaret girl diagnosed as a nymphomaniac, was a doppelgänger of her namesake, burlesque dancer Veronica Varlow 🪞 – the ride-or-die Crumpet, whom EA often lovingly called her “husband”, saying they had been lovers in a previous lifetime. Veronica was part of every single tour post-Opheliac release and developed a solid fanbase of her own, which she maintains to this day.
Even the brave and well-mannered talking rats (oh yeah, there's talking rats in the Asylum story) were named after EA's real-life pet rodents, who had featured in glamorous photoshoots. (Slight NSFW for sideboob.)
You get the general gimmick by now: EA turns her personal life into art, which she turns into a fictional world, which she then prompts the audience to inhabit with her. The whole Asylum concept was essentially an open invitation to self-insert parasocial fanfic: “Here's this very personal world that I've created, in which I, the artist, exist as a fictional persona, alongside all these quirky inmate characters that you've seen in my stage show, and who are avatars my real-life friends. Come on in, make it your home, and populate it with your own zany Victorian alter egos.”
And it worked, to an extent: like I've said, most fans were on board before they'd even read the book, and the Asylum became “real” in that sense.
But it can get a bit disorienting to find your place in a fantasy world, when said world keeps changing based on the author's shifting feelings about her story, her target audience, and her friends... plus, you'd love to read the book, but the darn thing still hasn't shipped.

ROUNDS 1 & 2: THE HARDCOVERS

\A MINOR ADJUSTMENT\
TAFWVG was first teased in spoken-word bonus tracks 🎤 on a 2007 EP. In spring 2008, EA started reading excerpts from her upcoming book at live shows. Early excerpts from the Asylum narrative featured a character named “Jo Hee” 📺; in the story, she is a cellist from “the Orient” (love that Victorian geography) and Emily's childhood confidante.
In real life, Lady Jo Hee, Center of Happiness, was the OG Bloody Crumpet. 📺 She had been there since from the very first Opheliac show in Chicago in 2006, accompanying EA on the electric cello – the only instrumentalist ever featured in the line-up besides EA herself.
In August 2008, Alternative Magazine ran a feature about the upcoming book.🔍, teasing some of its pages. Fans were quick to spot a very sisterly picture of EA and Jo Hee 🪞, borrowed from a fan-favorite photoshoot of the two. (An aside: this specific picture also became famous in the fandom for another reason. At some point, someone made an edit replacing Jo Hee with Amy Lee from Evanescence; for a while, it kept making the rounds in alt/goth internet circuits, casual onlookers kept getting excited about it, and Plague Rats kept having to step in and disappoint them.)
Anyway. For reasons undisclosed by either party, Jo Hee quietly left the Crumpets after that tour, never to be mentioned again.
By the time the book came out in late 2009, the character of “Jo Hee” had been renamed “Sachiko”. (I guess it didn't matter whether the one non-white character in the story was meant to be Korean or Japanese.) Jo Hee's face had been edited out of the (still clearly recognizable) photograph, and eerily replaced with Nondescript_Asian_Woman_023.jpg from Shutterstock.🪞
You'd think that the switcheroo would have raised more eyebrows, or at least some awkward chuckles, among fans of an artist whose better-known lyrics include “If I Photoshop you out of every picture, I could / Go quietly, quiet - but would that do any good?”. Yet to my knowledge, it did not. Possibly because, by the time people got around to reading the book, some fans had been waiting for their copy longer than Jo Hee had been a Crumpet.
A ROCKY RELEASE
Although the book seemed just about ready for publication at the time of those 2008 readings, the initial release was delayed by technical difficulties (some data had been lost during the editing process). And then delayed some more when, a year later, EA cancelled the US leg of a tour and slammed the door on Trisol, accusing the label owner of exploitation and embezzlement (he was allegedly selling fake tickets to her shows on a phony website). In August 2009, she signed over to The End Records, and we were back in business, baby!
Not only was The Book on its way to the presses, but the long-awaited release would coincide with a “Deluxe” re-issue of Opheliac, with new cover art and bonus tracks. For $100, you could pre-order the “Ultimate Book/Album Collection”, which included the revamped album, the book, a t-shirt, a tote bag, a recipe booklet and some bonus digital downloads, to be shipped in October. Or, for a more up-close-and-personal experience, you could purchase a VIP bundle for her upcoming shows in the fall: $50 plus ticket price would get you the book, a swag bag, and a meet-and-greet. (VIP tickets were capped at 20 slots per show; from what I gather, informal interactions with fans at the merch table were becoming overwhelming on previous tours. Again: fast-growing audience.)
Alas, due to printing issues this time, the making and shipping were soon pushed back to December. VIP ticket-holders were assured, at the start of the tour, that their copies would be shipped first as soon as the books were printed, with handwritten dedications from EA. Purchasers of the “Book/Album” bundle would receive theirs shortly thereafter. This seemed like a reasonable trade-off for a minor delay, and no one was too upset. (Well, some might have been, but at that juncture in Asylum history – for reasons that will become apparent in a later installment, when we get to EA's altercations with her fans – I guess they knew better than to get mouthy about it.)
The bundles came first... and in many cases, “bundle” was a generous term, because they arrived incomplete. When the t-shirt or tote bag weren't missing, they were printed the wrong colors. Many digital download codes had to be requested via email. The book itself was beautiful, but poorly bound, typo-ridden, and missing entire pages. (This was largely fixed in the second hardcover release.)
As far as I know, everyone who complained to the distributor got their money back – and I imagine it was a nice surprise when some items showed up, inexplicably, months after they had already been refunded. But it was still a bit of a “sad trombone” moment for many loyal fans, who had to request a refund on the Ultimate Super-Cool Preorder Exclusive Bundle to purchase the book and album separately.
As for the VIP package books, those didn't start shipping until late 2010 – a whole year after the official book release, months after less invested fans had already received their non-preordered copies. Worse: none of the books were signed, much less lovingly adorned with a personalized handwritten note as EA had promised. (And had tweeted about doing during the year-long shipping delay!) After enough fans meekly expressed their intense disappointment, EA's BFF-forum-admin mailed out signed bookplates that people could stick in their book in lieu of a personalized autograph. No real explanation was given. As far as I know, this particular let-down didn't cause a mass exodus of disappointed fans – but, in the midst of other goings-on, it certainly contributed to eroding many fans' trust in EA's word.
EA TAKES ON HOLLYWOOD
The 2011 release of the largely-identical second edition was better planned and overall uneventful, which gives me time to catch you up on contemporaneous events – like the reason EA ditched the Opheliac red and went platinum blonde. 🪞
Around that time, EA got herself a supporting role and a solo number 🎵📺 in The Devil's Carnival, Darren Lynn Bousman's psychocircus-themed movie musical. (If you're scrambling to place the name: depending on what kind of deviant you are, DLB is either the guy who directed half of the Saw movies or the guy who directed Repo! The Genetic Opera.)
If you've clicked the last link: see the bad boy greaser she's dancing with at the end of the song? That's the titular “Scorpion”, played by Marc Senter, and they were totally hitting on each other while shooting this. 📝🪞 They've been an item for twelve years now, in what appears to be a loving and mutually supportive relationship, and they seem besotted with each other. That's only marginally relevant to the story, but it's nice to know that at least one nice thing worked out in all this mess.
Back to 2011. Through her friendship with DLB and the Devil's Carnival cast (a motley crew of top-shelf B-listers 🔍 that included Bill Moseley, Paul Sorvino, the chick from Spy Kids, and the clown from Slipknot), EA also made a bunch of new industry connexions. That's how she came to decide that TAFWVG was meant to be more than a book, more than a live show: it had to become... a musical. Full company, full orchestra, big names, the works. Her 2012 album, Fight Like a Girl, was written and recorded with this project in mind, with most songs narrating events from the book and EA singing as various characters – which turns love duets into finger food for Dr. Freud. 🎵
Shortly before the album release, EA announced on Twitter that the Asylum Musical was scheduled to debut in the London West End, under the direction of Bousman, in 2014. "Casting calls to be announced soon!" (They were not.)

ROUND 3: THE AUDIOBOOK

2014 came, and brought... another TAFWG re-release announcement.
But wait – this time, it was going to be an audiobook! EA had been teasing one since before the original release, so people were quite excited. (It also sounded like a more achievable goal for the calendar year than a West End debut.) In early 2014, recording was well on its way, and the 6-CD boxset was due to ship in May.
PLEASE STAND BY, YOUR ASYLUM WILL BE PROCESSED SHORTLY
First, EA discovered “a new microphone ... that, upon testing, produced a recording of far greater beauty and expressive quality”, which naturally meant the whole thing had to be re-recorded. Two month's delay. No biggie. Our girl is a perfectionist.
But our girl also had to write, coordinate and rehearse her upcoming “Asylum Experience” – an afternoon-long interactive theater event, directed by Darren Lynn Bousman, which would be performed at five dates of the Vans Warped Tour in August. (It's not exactly the West End, but it's a start! 🔍) And then she had to prepare for the filming of the Devil's Carnival sequel in the fall. So, obviously, the July deadline was not met. When she finally gave an update in late 2014, the ETA was basically “we are ever so close, but the audiobook gets there when it gets there; feel free to ask for a refund if you're not along for the ride”.
And then she signed with a literary agent. TAFWVG was going to be made into a “real” book, that readers could purchase in stores for a normal price and request from their local library – big event! (More for EA, I think, than for her fans. By that point, the second edition could be purchased as a PDF, and I believe most people who pre-ordered the audiobook had already read the story.) But this involved tailoring the narrative to a more general audience, which meant portions of the book had to be re-written... which meant further delays.

...Besides, and let’s have a teacup of “honesty time” here, if the new Asylum becomes an internationally best-selling novel, not only can we enact more change for good, but the Asylum Musical takes over Broadway faster, the Asylum Movie takes over theatres faster, and YOU are all dressed up as rats/inmates in said movie, you guessed it, faster (“Asylum Audiobook Announcement from EA”📝)

Well, you know what they say in show business: if you can't make it in London, there's always New York.
As EA assured her fans, their patience would be rewarded with a brand new, professionally polished version of the story – and in due time, I guess, a role in the movie. (“Let's hope she doesn't find another new microphone!” 🐀)
From that point on, there seems to have been an ever-widening gap between EA's enthusiasm and fan expectations. When audiobook snippets 🎤.mp3) were released, many fans were unimpressed by the oddly flat, overproduced recording (turns out a microphone can be so good it's a problem! 🐀), which highlighted EA's stilted, uncanny diction and not-quite-transatlantic accent. That caught everyone off guard, because she didn't use to read like... that. Even die-hard apologists had to concede through gritted teeth that, tragically, it was giving William Shatner. (If you're curious, you can find more previews here 🎤📝, along with EA's captions.)
Fans weren't just getting irritated with the various delays and excuses: they were baffled, angry, and embarrassed. When EA clapped back “U know U can just get a refund, right? That is totally within your power to do” on social media, and it came out that requests for refunds had been getting ignored for weeks or months 🐀, seasoned fans were like “Yeah, that tracks.” The whole never-ending ordeal was just starting to feel silly.
All told, the audiobook took two years to complete, with little to no new music in the interim. Two years is a long time for a young-leaning audience! Fans who had preordered at the end of their sophomore year were graduating high school by the time it came out. Others who had been in the middle of undergrad were now looking for full-time jobs. People had gotten pregnant, given birth and potty trained, or had houses built from the ground up. Genuine ultra-fans of the book had had time to... presumably, read other books. (“I wonder how many people passed away waiting for this shitty audiobook to be finished?”)
When the audiobook came out, many long-time Plague Rats had defected, either lamenting the misguided decisions of their favorite artist, or just calling EA a money-grabbing fraud and a lying liar. And a number of patient and unbothered fans had, quite simply, grown out of their EA phase.
Your humble servant, for one, ordered the audiobook the week it went on sale, and stuck with that preorder through five address changes and two graduation ceremonies. Now, bear in mind: through all the ups and downs, even as the charm dispelled, my taste in music evolved, and my perception of EA herself changed, I never formally stopped considering myself a fan. (Mama didn't raise no quitter.) To this day, and to my profound embarrassment, I give enough of a shit that I'm taking the time to write this story at all, and that I was able to draft most of itfrom memory.(Mama didn't teach me how to prioritize.) Well, get this: I have never once listened to the audiobook. I remember unwrapping the signed boxset (minimal artwork, flimsy cardboard, no liner notes), thinking “this could have been an email”, telling myself I'd get around to it for old time's sake... and then I never did, because it was ten hours long, and I just couldn't force myself to care about that story anymore. I was not an isolated case.
In light of this, I apologize in advance for any potential errors in the following paragraphs; others listened so posers like me wouldn't have to 🔍, and I'm going off of their word. The new and improved edition was, indeed, a different book – in that a bunch of things that felt meaningful to fans had been either reworked or excised.
THE AUDIOBOOK EDITS
The hospital narrative had been shortened in favor of the asylum story, and the controversial “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries had been scrapped. Part of the fanbase applauded this decision, but others were disappointed 🐀, as they had found the diaries to be the most (some said only) personal, authentic, and insightful chapters in the book.
Curse words, some abuse, and all mentions of abortion had also been purged. It made the book tamer, but not by much... because Emilie's age had been changed from 27 to 17. Apparently, the literary agent had suggested this to make the book more marketable to a Young Adult audience. No other biographical detail had been altered, so the main narrator was now a 17 year old girl with no parents but an established music career, who checks in by herself into a high-security adult ward, no questions asked. (I'm still perplexed by this one. Did they not expect YA readers to know how hospitals work...?)
The pirate captain, formally known by her “mass of tangled black hair”, was now... a blonde. According to EA, this was a purely aesthetic change: it made the three main Asylum girls a redhead, a blonde and a brunette, which would look better in the stage adaptation. Between the lines, it also distanced the character from its original dark-haired muse: Vecona, who had left the Crumpets in 2008 after a rumored falling-out with EA over unpaid costume work.
The minor characters based on EA's old Chicago friends had been discarded entirely. Which likely made sense for EA – she hadn't lived there in years, the friend group had drifted apart as friend groups do, and by that point, there no longer was an EA forum to administrate or comment on – but not so much for her readers. Some fans had grown fond of these fictional inmates (wasn't that the point?), and weren't too happy to see EA symbolically treat them as disposable. Others were saddened that EA would just scrap these remnants of her old life, and of what felt like simpler, happier times in the fandom. Either way, children, this is why you shouldn't get a neck tattoo of your first boyfriend's name, OR openly base the “good guys” in your career-defining book on friends you made in your early twenties.
To compensate for the loss of... most named inmate characters, Veronica was given a much more prominent role in the plot. Namely, instead of being best friends, Veronica and Emily were now... in love! Lovers! Lesbian lovers! Which naturally meant that Veronica had to die. 🔍 Besides, fans famously love it when you pull a gay ship out of thin air between your two main characters, and then kill one of them off so that the other suffers more.
One last one, because I find it especially goofy: a scrappy teddy bear named Suffer, given to Emily by the talking rats, was replaced with...a Very Large Spoon, which gets its very own number in the musical. 🎵 The rationale was that Emily could use the spoon as a weapon in the climactic uprising against the Asylum doctors. Which, fair enough... except that, prior to being a cute and anachronistic 🔍 MacGuffin in the fictional Asylum story, Suffer the Bear had been a beloved mascot🪞 from the early Opheliac live shows. Some still remembered when EA had raised HELL, even starting a #FREESUFFER campaign on Twitter, because she thought someone had stolen Suffer from the stage (it later turned out that he had been misplaced in a flight case). All that noise back in the day... and now Suffer didn't matter anymore? The nerve. “She made shirts and everything!” 🐀
All this to say, reception was lukewarm. EA hadn't performed live since 2014 and the Devil's Carnival sequel had failed to make a splash (despite decent reviews, the franchise and main collaboration fell apart before the end of the promotional tour 🔍). People were checking out. There was only one way to correct this. A true paradigm shift. A fresh start – a new theme?
Hell no. It's another edition of The Asylum for Revisionist Tortureporn Friendfictions!

ROUND 4: THE E-BOOK & THE QUEST FOR THE SPOON OF ROYALS

In 2017, about a year after the audiobook release, EA self-published a digital version of TAFWVG through Amazon. The literary agent hadn't worked out in the end: publishers were put off by how dark the book was, even after the audiobook edits. EA explained that she hadn't been comfortable with some of the alterations in the first place; she respected the agent's input and had tried to give it an honest shot, but in the end, she wanted to do it the way she wanted to do it, solo... and this was it.
EA had reverted a number of the audiobook cuts (including swear words, mentions of abortion, and the narrator's age), but kept most of the changes to the Asylum narrative – namely, the omission of Former Friends Characters, and the romance between Emily and Veronica. In the newsletter announcement, she mentions being in the process of “re-recording the few little bits of the audiobook to reflect the current text version”. Not sure where we're at on that front; it's never been brought up again, and I don't think anyone's checked. (I assume most fans had war flashbacks when they read the word “re-record”, and instantly repressed that part of the communiqué.)
The “Drug / Suicide / Cutting” diaries were still omitted in the first release of the e-book, but re-included as a coda soon after, by popular demand, under the title “Evidence of Insanity” – with fantastical “doctor's annotations” like“W14A seems to have disassociated her own identity, episodic, each lasting for a longer period of time. We suspect she will continue further in this – stronger medication is needed, schedule electroconvulsive therapy.”
A physical paperback edition was released a few months later; in anticipation of this, the e-book was a stripped-down, text-centric version of the story. (Honestly not a bad call, because the digital version from 2012 was a scanned, non-searchable, 1.3GB PDF behemoth – not super Kindle-friendly!) No elaborate backgrounds and color photographs in this edition, but the pages were still illustrated with inserts of rats, keys, teacups, and... hold on... ciphers??🪞
As always in the Asylum, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. In a throwback to the prelapsarian days of the Enchant Puzzle (remember? the one that no one ever managed to solve?), the e-book illustrations contained puzzles, which formed the master-key to... a scavenger hunt! And in keeping with tradition, the grand prize was an extravagant adornment hand-crafted by EA: the “Spoon of Royals”.🪞📝 Oh my!
Some of the puzzles are simple anagrams that can be solved for keywords. A clickable word within the adjacent text takes you to a password-protected link, which takes you through to an audio file – a song or an atmospheric instrumental that goes with that moment of the story. There are also more complex ciphers that decode into riddles. Each key depicted in the book has a number or letter engraved on it. The total number of rats in the book is apparently significant. One link takes you through to a blank page whose source code contains a list of coordinates from various bridges around the world.
Oh, it was a whole thing. When the book came out, you could send a picture of you doing EA's signature “rat claw” hand sign🪞 to request admission to a private Facebook group (the “Striped Stocking Society”) where people could help each other solve the clues and EA would occasionally pop in for a chat. There was also a series of mysterious newsletters in early 2018, culminating in a Los Angeles event where EA showed up in person to pass on extra puzzle-solving material to a handful of lucky fans (although said material raised more questions that it answered 📝).
Overall, it was a great idea! Although the fanbase was generally smaller and less active after four years without a new tour or album (and a fair amount of other drama, which we have yet to get into), the e-book puzzle did pique people's interest in purchasing yet another version of the same story.
Unfortunately, once again, EA overestimated either how intuitive her fans were, or how invested they would remain. After months of collaborative efforts across multiple platforms, a number of puzzles had been cracked 🔍, but it was still unclear how the individual anagrams and numbers and riddle-solutions all fit together as scavenger hunt clues.
EA kept up the hype for a while, but the few hints that she gave on social media only revealed yet more encryption factors without really helping fans connect the dots. One cipher remained unsolved on Instagram for days and days before EA caved in and hinted at which key to use. She did helpfully specify that if you didn't know how to read music, you'd better start learning. (...Was this a fun puzzle, or a prep school admission test?) The in-person LA event had also sown some confusion as to the rules and constraints of the game: would winning involve traveling to a physical location? That didn't seem very fair. EA had mentioned physically burying some items – but could you solve the puzzle from a distance? Is the Spoon of Royals literally just buried under the Shakespeare Bridge in Los Angeles, California?? 🐀
I'm just saying: if this had come up in 2008? People in corsets and platform boots would have been out there digging.
But this was 2018. As we've mentioned, the core of EA's active fanbase (a lot of whom had been teens and young adults when she was touring Opheliac) was fast aging out of the years when most folks have the spare time, dedication, or desire to essentially do super-involved homework out of love for their favorite singer. Uncovering new songs was a fun perk the first year – but after the new album came out in 2018, none of the passwords led to exclusive material anymore. It felt a bit lacklustre for something so labor-intensive.
(The new music itself wasn't a rallying point either. Behind the Musical was, quite literally, an intended vocal guide for the Asylum musical – so, basically a collection of demos. The sound was VERY Broadway Revival, somewhat Phantomish 🎵, in a way that's either good or bad depending on who's saying it. The violins, to fans' chagrin, sounded all-MIDI; no sign of actual instrumental recordings. EA sang all the parts herself, as she had on her previous album. I'm not saying there's no merit in a one-woman Andrew Lloyd Weber tribute. Many old fans enjoyed the new material well enough, some even really liked it – but most agreed that it just didn't hit like her earlier stuff used to, and that it felt rather unfinished.)
Unlike with the Enchant Puzzle, the prize itself was not much of an intrinsic motivation. While the Faerie Queen's Wings were a straightforward concept that evoked EA's own signature stage costumes, the Spoon of Royals was... a large spoon attached to a necklace, community-college-art-teacher style. It looked impractical both as a spoon and as a necklace, and more importantly, I'm not sure how many readers felt a deep emotional connection to the spoon in the story. The spoon that had usurped Suffer the Bear, no less!
In short: people gave up on the game because it was too hard, it came too late, and they had other things to do.
Thus, the Spoon of Royals remains unclaimed to this day, and I doubt I'll see anyone crack the puzzle in this lifetime. The Striped Stocking Society FB group was terminated in 2020, around the same time a bunch of fansites folded and EA closed her Instagram comments for the first time. By that point, both EA and her fans had bigger rats to skewer – but we have a ways to go before we reach that part of the story.
I would encourage you to give the puzzle a shot for the hell of it (in case you're a cryptography nerd and currently under house arrest or in a full-body cast) but... I just tried a bunch of the links, and the passwords don't work anymore. So I guess that's that. To quote old Bill by way of conclusion: “Much ado about nothing”.

ROUND TOO-MANY: I'LL SEE YOU ON BROADWAY OR I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL

So, what now? Well, not much.
By the late 2010s, what kept many fans semi-invested – if nothing else, because it clearly meant so much to EA herself – was the prospect of an upcoming stage musical adaptation. The way EA talked about it 📺, it was very much a “when”, not an “if”. Sure, ten years on, we were still collectively stuck in the Asylum, but it would at least be a new format – and a return to EA's main field of expertise, ie songwriting and performing. Not only did the core fanbase long for new music and new shows, but Fight Like a Girl and Behind the Musical had brought in small influxes of new fans who were very eager for any chance to see her live. So whether it was out of genuine enthusiasm for the project, or out of “let EA have her musical so we can maybe finally move on”, the fanbase was overall supportive.
Even though people still joked about the 2012 announcement of a “2014 West End debut” (seriously, what was she thinking?), EA had really buckled down in the intervening years, and it looked like the project was plausibly well underway. As in, we had more than just EA's word to go on: the involvement of other people, who did not reside in the Asylum, seemed to confirm that the musical was a thing.

[CONTINUED IN COMMENTS because Reddit is being ridiculous about the character count. I swear I was under 40,000!]

Ill try my best to make this quick and ill start by addressing the people involved. Myself (26F) my bf (27) together on and off for 11 years this upcoming May, my Female bestie (fbf for short, 24) of 18 years and my Male bestie (mbf for short, 27) of 6 years. Ill start by saying he has always had a more open ended opinion of relationships although we partice monogamy and neither of us sought other partners while dating, when we broke up i met MBF whom i found out far too late was an extreme alcholic and long story short we dated for a month but he allegedly had no recollection of that month i completely went no contact with him for about 6 months, in which time i did alot of growing on my pwn with no romance in my life at all, and then my my bf and i slowly started seeing eachother again, MBF came back into the picture and i made it very clear that to be friends i couldn't deal with that sort of drama/trauma again, so ill be fast forwarding time a bit to 2 years ago. Unfortunately i had a miscarriage and among traumas ive ever experienced, (SA, emotional and physical abuse ect.) Losing my baby was the wosrt time in my life, i had a lot of support from my bf, and my family but i didnt really have much support from my best friends, which doesnt affect me much because i prefer to deal with trauma on my own. That said i do even still have some body dismorphia issues and problems of that nature that i still struggle with to this day. Fast forward to last year, now this is where the drama kicks in and it gets very confusing very fast, so i apologize for any confusion, so my FMB had a boyfriend ill call him brad, so i ended up introducing my FM, brad, and my MBF because we all had a hobby that we enjoyed and this hobbie trueely is a more the merrier situation, so during this friendship with the 4 of us i obviously spent time with fmb and mbf seperately but when i was with my fbf she and brad ended up telling me wild stories about how convinced they were that MBF was inlove with me and he is in such pain everytime i talk about my bf, and looking back now it feels a little brainwashy but i really started believing them so i stopped talkimg about my wonderful bf because i was scared to hurt my homie, one day he and i were chilling playing our fav videogame (as we are both extremely big fans and honestly pretty good) and he asked about my bf and i what our relationship was why he has met all my friends and family but not my bf, and i said well my bf doesnt really like socializing with the same types of people i like and i never really thought it was a big deal, but since he was adamant i said sure we could meet up the next opportunity, that opportunity didnt happen for a long while, he also asked what the general deal with our relationship was and i kinda blanked cause we did break up at one point but we never really saod what kinda relationship we had after the fact so i said i dunno thinking this is my friend i can trust him fast forward a few weeks and my buddy and i were guests at a mutuals wedding, now idk why but i didnt get a seperate invite i was MBF's plus 1, he was single and my bf wouldnt have gone anyway so we thought nothing of it, i also mention i brought up three out of the 5 groomsmen including MBF and was up around 5am preparing for this black tie wedding, the wedding was a blast and idk how i managed but i safely returned us home after a 2 hr drive the next morning at 6am, no sleep, my bfs place is 45min away and i just couldnt move anymore and expressed that to mbf as i passed out on his floor, i woke up groggy and very hazy but i new i was now in a bed and conscious enough to drive atleast so i got up and left to my bfs where i passout again, i work up when he got home from work at around 1230am and thats when i felt it, i felt like i had had sex, but theres no way, bf was working and obviously i didnt do anything with mbf so i just assumed i was crazy horny and shoved it aside, fast forward again a few weeks and MBF and i are hanging out just us and he went to pass my the blunt and instead he leaned in and kissed me, then put the blunt in my mouth as i was about to breathe, i asked him why he kissed me and he said "just cause" and he implied we diid more recently and i just looked real kissable that moment, i said "what are you talking about?" And he said "what do you mean? We fucked a few weeks ago" and i said friggin when did we do that?! He passed it off as a joke and i really didnt understand what happened, so naturally i turned to my FBF for guidance, she said its no biggie since you and bf dont really have rules so i shouldnt worry anbout it and then went to swoon about how she was right all along, i did tell my bf and he i pleaded with him to forgive me i didnt understand what happened and he said i dont care just come home to me in one peice basically but i felt and feel awful and it was so upsetting cause MBF totally thinks i knew what i was doing but i had no recollection at all, fast forward a few months its early January of this year, FMB ended up breaking up with her bf and aborting their child, she found out he cheated on her with several different women and while i begged her not to she said she couldnt raise another child with no father and did the deed i was absolutely crushed, but her body her choice so i shut up about my opinion, after the abortion she called my crying everyday wishing to hold her baby in her arms and how terrible brad was for ruining her life and everytime that phone call ended id bust into tears for the loss of my own child and how cruel it felt to know she had a choice and i didnt, but i wont ever atop answering that call because she needs support, i know that very well, so i stuck it out, for hee bday it was her me and MBF they said they wanted to relax and do shrooms, i had never done it before so i figured i would just be watching them to ensure they stay safe, alas no that asked me to do it too saying it very uptight and they wasnted me to relax with them and while i didnt hate the idea i was a bit overwhelmed but i decided they are my besties, what safer way to try something like this once in my life than with them? So i did. The night was crazy felt like a lifetime and a second all at once i was soooo inlove (like in a family way) with my friends i gave them massages (actual massages, my mom went to school for it so i know the real deal) all night was singing to them, the worksssss lol The night was progessing well but eventually the mood shifted and i turned my head and i noticed them wigglying around and it took a sec to realize what i was seeing, they were grinding and making out with me beside them, so naturally i left, being absolutely high i sat in my car and cried for idk how long i felt shame and disgust, and i called my bf who didnt have his car so he couldnt come get me so i was stuck, fast forward afew days i told them i felt betrayed and disrespected that literally any other way they wanted to hook up would have been better than that, they apologized but i really didnt know if i wanted to keep people in my life that would treat me in sucha weird way, so i went no contact with them, 2 weeks later FBF called me and i answered, we chatted and laughed for a couple minutes and she went right on to say how shes been waiting for me to forgive her and started gettinf nervous that i wouldnt come back and with her abandonment issues she just couldnt wait anymore, and then immediately started telling me how they went of a valentine's day date and their sex life and i said hoooold the fuck up back up like thats not okay dont tell me all that and she said but if i dont it feels like lying and i saod your romance with my ex isnt my business so id like it to stay not my business, she and i began rebuoilding our friendship, which i didnt realize then but i do now that she made snarky remarks to me. Fast foward to last week, this was the first time i saw MBF since the January incident and had a conversation with him, he said hed like to catch movie with me so we can catch up. I, reluctantly agreed, i knew deep down he did this because he wanted to be friends again. The big day Wensday i get a call its FBF and she starts off with some chitchat but immediately starts talking about MBF and how he neglects her but and i quote "has time to take his side hoe on a dinner movie date, at least bring me she is our side hoe" and while i know that was a joke she soent the next 2 hour ranting to me about how shes convinced that if he makes a move on me ill just go with it because i just wont say no and how i better not spend anytime with him alone because i "just cant control myself" i was hurt and the fact that she even knew that i wasnt even conscious the one time we did do things was insane, i confronted her via text because i waa bawling my eyes out after comfoding in her these traumas that i experienced in my life and while i wont call what MBF S/A i did feel violated because of that incident and she knew that, i told her and she responded not with im sorry that i was out of line and hurt you, she responded with large texts sumed up to be saying "i was having a mental break down so whatever things i say to you im not accountable for" i have been very broken up about this and while im currently taking space from her rn to sort my feelings out i do feel a little insane and didnt know what else to do so heres my story, thanks for getting down here, sorry theres so much though.

based off u/jensyao https://www.reddit.com/nas/comments/ireec3/list_of_nas_nonjayz_disses_incomplete/
Illmatic:

• Halftime: responded to Da Youngsta's "Pass The Mic" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCEi4ZBiqe8

IWW:

• The Message: shot at Jay: "TV sets the minimum"/shot at 2Pac before they met at the MTV awards: "fake thug/no love"/shot at Biggie: "one king"

I Am:

• we will survive: shot at Jay trying to replace biggie so soon after death: "replace the crown to be new yorks' king? it ain't about that"
• Hate Me Now: indirectly going at cormega's first album: "y'all thinking y'all the realest? but who the illest?"
• Big Things: going at cormega after the firm fallout: whole 3rd verse

Nastradamus:

• come and get me: whole song saying Jay and his team should come and get him
• Nastradamus: going at memphis bleek repeating his lyrics with a threat because he's jay's right hand man: "ball til you fall, i can help you with that, slug melt in your hat"

QB Finest:

• Da Bridge 2001 - Nas respond to Memphis Bleek's "Mind Right": "Oh you didn't, wanna know whose life is written?...Your hoe, your man, lieutenant, your boss get found"

Stillmatic: https://www.youtube.com/live/CFBXytyTiJU&t=2308

• all 15 songs display concepts that Nas can do that Jay couldn't, from storytelling to telling a story backwards, to talking about bigger concepts like conspiracy theories, hood unification, and world peace, to going at them directly or mockingly
• ether: goes at jay directly
• destroy and rebuild: goes at prodigy, cormega, nature's song "no, we ain't friends", mocks jay in slick rick's voice
• Got Urself A Gun: goes Kid Rock and limp bizkit for rock rap: "This is real hardcore, Kid Rock and Limp Bizkit soft"

God's Son:

• Book of Rhymes: Goes at Ras Kass's first album on an alchemist beat defending alchemist for double selling beats: "Soul on ice, death threats given by clowns/I guess livin' is prison when you live around clowns"
• Zone out: goes at Cam'ron: "You have a house in virginia"
• Get Down: goes at jay: basically uses biggie's flows to tell a story that Jay can never do, jay tried it on "meet the parents" but failed because you lost the plot and the point at the end
• last real nigga alive: goes at the industry saying they aren't real and made a song about I Can talking about you don't have to be gangstas and hoes that these other artists portray

Lost Tapes:

• on 3 songs, he's talking about rappers using their celebrity and money to go back in the hood to defloweimpregnate young underage women/13 year olds without protection, basically insinuating the whole industry is like that without name dropping, from prodigy to afrika bambaataa to r kelly who he sever ties with after trading features in 1998 from the street dreams remix. it wasn't in prodigy's book but it was quoted that it was the thing to do, didn't mention jay had relations with foxy brown when she was 16 ghostwriting for her, that she later admitted in 2010 https://www.xxlmag.com/foxy-brown-targets-lil-kim-jay-z-on-new-diss-track/
• everybody's crazy: goes at jay: "the jig is up"
• no idea's original: goes at jay's money cash hoes that he stole from DMX and made the remix with rocafella overshadowing the original: "What you base your happiness around? Material, women, and large papeThat means you inferior, not major"....and the "major" lyric is also Nas dissing Jay indirectly on Kanye's song "we major" that happened to be Jay's favorite song on kanye's album as a sigh of relief not knowing Nas was still indirectly going at him

Illmatic 10th anniversary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80v9tWuN9nw

• star wars: goes at 50 signing with eminem: "Y'all niggas roll with any click that's winnin' any crew/Doin' whatever's trendy, even they envy me too"

Street's Disciple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80v9tWuN9nw

• Disciple: goes at eminem dissing moby: "rappers battling after non rappers, saying nas is Farrakhan preaching blackness"
• These are our heroes: goes at kobe bryant/goes at eminem talking about picketing on mosh pit: "These pickaninnies get with anything to sell records"
• Nazareth Savage: goes at eminem's whiteness: "In the history of the game, you have no placement/Liquor and weed just massacred their mind, or thee celebrity...Casualty you don't wanna be, don't want it with me"

Hip Hop Is Dead: basically an industry diss about how hip hop sold out and reteaches the essence of how rap is formulated while paying homage to elders

• Carry on Tradition: goes at new rappers with left field gang affiliates from wayne to jeezy to jim jones that is detached from west coast culture: "Now some of these new rappers got their caps flipped backwards/With their fingers intertwined in some gang-sign madness"...nas dissed wayne on a mixtape track with quan called QB to VA mocking the cash money helicopter
• Money Over Bullshit: Going against Jim Jones, Young Jeezy's radio interview, weak rappers: "Put a barrel in a capo mouth, 'til his scalp come out/You a kid, you don't live what you rap about"..."y'all niggas is fifth grade...Each one of ya guys that claim Hip-Hop is still alive/Like y'all ain't in agreement with Nas"

Untitled:

• Queens get the money: goes at 50: "hiding behind 8 mile and the chronic, get rich but dies rhyming"
• Hero: goes at record executives for the double standard for black artists not being able to flex their artistic creativity and have to fit into this stereotype box before releasing an album (which is why Kanye was a big deal back then going against all the gangsta rap of 50 cent with backpack rap), the uncensored version namedrops LA Reid and Douglass Morris: "Try tellin' Bob Dylan, Bruce or Billy Joel/They can't sing what's in their soul"

Distant Relatives:

• Strong will continue: goes against divorce/cheating allegations and Kelis on the 4th verse

Life Is Good: https://www.reddit.com/nas/comments/1brbjbthe_diss_tracks_between_nas_and_50_and_how_thei

• Bye Baby: goes at 50 and Tony Yayo initially dissing Kelis: Under their breath, saying, "Why did Nas trust her?...You live with your baby moms/And scared to make an honest woman out of heAnd make her your bride, fake pimps, you ain't even alive

Nasir:

• Simple Things: Responds to Vlad TV for interviewing people around Nas for his beat selection and Carmen, and why Vlad will never get a Nas interview: "Never sold a record for the beat, it's my verses they purchase"

Lost Tapes 2:

• Beautiful Life: Going against Kelis, left off life is good: "All women should bid/For keeping real fathers away from their kids/..How many been married, divorced, their ex lady wildin'/Hires a lawyer, judge awards 'em monthly eighty thousand"

King's Disease:

• Titles goes against Jay-Z about how insecure he is despite him having it all and then elaborates why there needs to be a cure to why people who are successful should not begrudge others, with minor covid references
• Nas basically got a battery put in his back after the breakfast club told him that Jay has been dropping projects every time Nas had an album out on the same day to compete with him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJBqAL20X6I, so he dropped more albums seeing if Jay would do that, without Jay even contesting those later release dates with surprise albums, like when the book of hov's exhibit was around the time KD3 released...Magic 1, Magic 2, and Magic 3 were basically surprise releases with barely a week in advance when announced so Jay doesn't work on his project in the meantime

Magic:

• Meet Joe Black: randomly samples soulja boy of Nas predicting hip hop was going to die but it did and is unrecognizable from what it was if it wasn't for people still showing how the artform is really done, such as this album, which is ranked highly among the other albums Nas did with Hit, saying he's telling more truth than these fake rappers with gimmicks and fraud advice to success on "Truth"

KD2:

• death row east: to dispel the rumors of what happened between 2Pac and him once and for all, and to respond to an old diss record leaking on the 25th anniversary of 2pac's death, given that fake thug line https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m4smahXj1PQ
• Nas is Good: goes against all haters: "Death to the pessimistic mind state/Lack of hope, low-spirit motherfuckers/Life to king's getting a king's ransom, living handsome, ha"
• Store run: goes against the new generation going against him, telling them they need to pay dues and go on a store run because Nas owns the store

Magic 2:

• Abracadabra: addresses hate working with Hit-Boy: "I'ma say what it is, I'm the one takin' the risk/Y'all creatin' the hate, but I be creatin' with Hit"
• Office Hours was hit being petty not splitting 50's adlibs and putting them towards the back after the chorus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2goGfACkGFM

KD3:

• TSK: goes against reddit, podcasts, and armchair commenters, lmao https://www.reddit.com/nas/comments/1c0sm0k/all_i_see_is_blurbs_all_i_see_is_wordsnerds/ "All I see is blurbs, all I see is words/Nerds talkin' 'bout what they did, see or heard"
• Thun: Nas jabbing Jay: In a Range Rover, dissectin' bars from "Takeover"/Sometimes I text Hova like "Nigga, this ain't over", laughin'

Magic 3:

• the 6 albums in 3 years with 2 trilogies was basically a jab a Jay for his In my Lifetime and Blueprint series, of releasing a compilations of songs on a vague title but can generically fit on any of them, and how Nas was faster at releasing his trilogies faster than when Jay was dropping every year with Nas dropping 2 albums per year with less managerial A&R oversight, and Jay hasn't dropped a solo album since 2017
• basically addresses the hate that he's gotten when working with Hit-Boy with a summary on 1800Nas&Hit. Nas rapped on beats with awkward BPMs and with all vocal samples so wannabe rappers don't rip the instrumental and try to rap on them with the latest technology, just to realize how hard actually is to make concepts on the spot and rap on a distracting beat that isn't already carrying the song and they can just mumble on it...Hit was being more petty showing there's levels to this artform

Hey everyone not trying to pile on here but wanting to see if I can find help on this. I have two drones in for repair at DJI. I figured with the possibility even very rare chance of the drone ban I'd get some of my other drones fixed. An Air 2 and an Air 2S. The Air 2S I got back from support after a repair and the ESC threw errors again, and it said gimbal couldn't communicate. No damage on anything, even noted by tech on the repair. Now this part is on me, I put in a repair request and had the drone boxed up and then I got some bad news and started cancer treatments and ended up in hospital so I didn't get the drone shipped for awhile. He said they might be able to do something there since logs would show when it was last used and flown and request date was in warranty period, but then told me it's a closed ticket and he can't do anything. I got the quote it was $250 for repair. I paid that as its on me for not shipping it fast and being in and out of hospital months went by. Was a bit frustrated that a drone that had been in for repair comes back gets a couple flights and under a month time has the same issue and now I'm buying a camera with zero damage on the camera. Not here nor there.
Now the Air 2, it has a broken camera arm as I 100% crashed it after catching it in a tree. I get the quote and there is propellers on there for $22. I have a bunch of propellers and figured I can use those and save the $22. I'm talking to the tech on the phone who after some talking said he could give me a 15% discount. I said that is great, and he said he could remove the propellers. That put the bill a little under $100, awesome. I said I'd get that paid. I go to the portal to pay and it still has the propellers and no discount. No biggie, I wait and think maybe it's a end of day sort of thing. Check again and the price is still with propellers and no discount. So I reach back out via phone and I'm told that they can't give the discount and the propellers is so I have a fully complete drone when it comes back. Even though I have propellers. I wish I could get in touch with the first tech again as he did call me back that day and was great on the phone, just seems like maybe something happened in the system and calling back has been a trial of patience.
Sorry for the long post, I was hoping the DJI account on here I could get a hold of. Maybe get it ironed out.
For the DJI support:
Air 2s Case No: CAS-13330704-G2P1V2 Air 2 Case No: CAS-16118726-M9X0G2
Love my DJI drones. I have a Phantom 3, Phantom 4, Mini, Air 2, Air 2s, Mini 3 Pro, and Air 3. I've had to use support a few times previously and always had amazing support. This has just been a weird one!

throwaway account, duh, long story short: i found out during my early 20s (im almost on my mid 30s now) that my family weren't my biological family. I've always wanted to adopt a child so it wasn't a big deal.. but that's when i found out the country i lived in didn't allow adoption, only "fostering" is allowed to not mess up the family names/bloodlines n who the money goes to when family pass away (dont ask me.. until this day i DON'T get it). Apparently, majority of those with connections were able to add their family names to as last names.
Anyway, that's not really the point but i needed to give a backstory. I always found it a bit weird bc my name didn't match theirs, they used to tell me it was because "they messed it up" n my dumbass belived it (this was when i was a teenager n i didn't think twice about it bc with the sh!t that went on here..yeh i believed it, ppl have such long names i actually believed they ran out of space or whatever)
During uni, funnily enough during my worst subject biology, that's when i had the first suspicion something was wrong. The professor was talking about genetics and how certain diseases would b hereditary based on the genes or whatever (i cant remember ok it's been years) n i remember drawing that little square on my paper n was confused why I didn't have it (my "sisters" both had it n my "brother" died years before i was born bc of it). I didn't think much of it since i assumed , hey i sucked at bio anyway!
Fast forward to when i was about to get married n my mother finally came clean saying i wasnt biologically theirs n i was like ? Ok no biggie! Im adopted, n she tells me no adoption isn't legal in this country .. that's when i broke. Who tf was i? I was never close to my family, i went thru so much b.s. emotional abuse, physical....had a fuckin metal weight thrown at my head from my eldest "sister", thankfully i ducked in time (i was 14)
A bit more backstory before i get into the rest:
My eldest sister, she had SO much mental issues, bipolar bein the main one, i was the one at 12 telling my parents that she probably had this n needed to get some help. I got yelled at. She caused so much issues and abuse towards me and my family. I used to pray n wish i had the power to make her disappear. I didn't leave my room from 12-23 (yes, iived in one of those countries most of u would roll ur eyes at) bc of her, i was scared. Even the rare times they called the police and hospital on her, it didn't help.
My 2nd eldest sister, she was nice n i loved her but she was .. sheltered, she did everything that eas asked from them.
I was never close to any of them.. .my mother is europeon but i feel shes been so brainwashed she's even more close minded than the locals here, we never ever got a long, i get anxiety whenever she speaks to me to the point i sometimes need to throw up or hide or just get in my car n disappear. I don't remember any good times with her..i still have a fkin bruise where she pinched me so hard during 8th grade bc i talked to a male classmate.
I don't even know how to continue this, there's so much i want to say n mention but ill just get to the point.
2019 my 2nd oldest sister was diagnosed with leukemia so my parents forced me n my husband to go with her to the UK bc my dad was barely able to walk n sometimes had to use a wheelchair, n they had the other eldest "sister" to take care of (quotes gor numerous of reasons, she was physically abusive towards me...no one in my family cared about that tho!!! And we found out such disgusting things that she had done later on)
I had no idea what i was doing. I don't know what to say, i was angry at everything and everyone, livin on a household like that i dont know how to explain it. I was always scared n felt like wtf am i doin here. (I still lived at the house with my husband)
Fast forward almost a year later she passed away.
1 year later the eldest one died.
Another year later, my father died.
My lovely fur babies got me through it. They helped so much, kept me grounded and stable enough to get through the days.
I don't even know anymore. I'm pretty numb to that tbh right now. But honestly i just want to start my own family, have a good life with my husband n kids........but wait no he doesn't want any n it's been such a shock to the system i feel like my nerves r being pulled in every direction. I'll have no one. Im alone. I just want a family but he doesn't want that. I find myself crying and staring at my scarred wrists (i haven't done anything thankfully in 5 years) but i just want to leave? The thoughts of what am i even living for... here... In this country where I can't even choodr to have kids by myself. I can't leave. My fur babies need me, I can't take my parrot with me. We don't even have fuckin vets for birds in this fkin place.
Right now im just alive bc of my pets, im doing and taking things at a rate a normal person shouldn't be doing, hoping i leave when they do.
im just breathing n hoping it ends when it's time for them.

I have my mortgage through Simplii Financial and I have enough equity built up at this point that I would qualify for a HELOC. The online banking website has a link for the "Secured Line of Credit" where you can fill out a form to begin the application process, however (my first point of confusion) that brought me to a page for a mortgage application.
I did end up e-mailing Simplii customer service to point out what seems like an error on their website (which they did not address) but I did get back an email from a mortgage specialist, and I requested a rate quote for the HELOC. I was told they would offer me prime rate and no set-up fees.
Anyway, it took a week or two to discuss it with my SO and get my ducks in a row but when I called back I was told that the "no set-up fees" was a promo only which had expired. No biggie I guess because he said is was only $150. During the conversation however, the Simplii agent more than once referred to it as a second mortgage (my second point of confusion). I asked him about that and he stated they were the same thing and I can see where they would be similar as both would be secured by the house but I was a little hesitant to go ahead with the application considering I asked for one thing and was being offered something slightly different so I told the agent I would call back.
It seems from my research a HELOC and second mortgage are actually two different things (ie., second mortgage is a set amount received as a lump sum whereas HELOC you can draw from whenever needed). So am I just talking to the wrong person/department at Simplii or do they really only offer second mortgages and refer to it using confusing terminology on their website?

Link to Part 1
Row 4
Book Club or Readalong Book: Orconomics by J. Zachary Pike
SPFBO Standing: Winner, SPFBO 4, also my re-read for this competition
Professional heroes kill and loot deadly monsters every day, but Gorm Ingerson's latest quest will be anything but business as usual.
Making a Killing in Professional Heroics
The adventuring industry drives the economy of Arth, a world much like our own but with more magic and fewer vowels. Monsters’ hoards are claimed, bought by corporate interests, and sold off to plunder funds long before the beasts are slain. Once the contracts and paperwork are settled, the Heroes’ Guild issues a quest to kill the monster and bring back its treasure for disbursement to shareholders.
Of course, while professional heroics has been a great boon for Humans, Elves, Dwarves, and all the other peoples of light, it's a terrible arrangement for the Shadowkin. Orcs, Goblins, Kobolds, and their ilk must apply for to become Noncombatant Paper Carriers (or NPCs) to avoid being killed and looted by guild heroes. Even after getting their papers, NPCs are treated as second class citizens, driven into the margins of society.
Gorm Ingerson, a Dwarven ex-hero with a checkered past, has no idea what he's getting himself into when he stands up for an undocumented Goblin. His act of kindness starts a series of events that ends with Gorm recruited by a prophet of the mad goddess Al'Matra to fulfill a prophecy so crazy that even the Al'Matran temple doesn't believe it.
But there’s more to Gorm’s new job than an insane prophecy: powerful corporations and governments, usually indifferent to the affairs of the derelict Al’Matran temple, have shown an unusual interest in the quest. If his party of eccentric misfits can stop fighting each other long enough to recover the Elven Marbles, Gorm might be able to turn a bad deal into a golden opportunity and win back the fame and fortune he lost so long ago.
This is an outstanding, original, twisty book that fully deserves its win in SPFBO 4 and has stood the test of time.
So what works?
Original takes on classic ‘D&D’ races, both NPC and PC.
Uncomfortably realistic parody of the real world financial system in particular but the world in general, from elves with purse kobolds to forlorn love.
Hidden, but not so hidden enemies.
Interparty conflict that makes ‘sense’.
Lots of twists and turns.
If I were point to an SPFBO winner to read and outline on “how to win SPFBO” this would be the one, probably with updates from “Small Miracles”.
9/10
Novella: Tainted by Krystle Matar
SPFBO Status: Takes place concurrently with SPFBO7 Runner-Up Legacy of the Brightwash, and covers some of the same scenes from the viewpoint of a ‘minor’ character.
Glaen must choose: the woman he loves, or freedom. Does he comply with the law of the Authority, or does he continue to see Gianna, the only light of his life? The consequences of his choice will ripple through more than he realizes. Revolution can start with a single shot.
Full disclosure, Legacy of the Brightwash was my favorite read of 2022, so I’m inclined to rate this highly. This follows Glaen a tainted who has Tashue Blackwood, one of the MCs of Brightwash, as his regulation officer. Tainted means magically talented, which means your life is monitered, you are given a job suited to your talents, and your rights, particularly who love is restricted to non-tainted, and if you’re non-compliant, there a special prison just for you.
Yeah, the City of Yaelsmuir is a steampunk dystopia, and Glaen is in love with the wrong woman, who loves him back.
This follows one of the saddest parts of Brightwash, that we’ve read from Tashue’s PoV, from Glaen’s perspective, and it is even more of a tear-jerker here than in Brightwash. But it doesn’t end there, and Glaen gets a degree of cumuppance that ends in an upbeat note, but not a triumphant one, yet.
The best comparison for this series, with its limited power, corrupt yet distinct setting, is the Green Bone Saga by Fonda Lee. Reading this is like reading the Jade Setter of Janloon or any of the other short stories set in that world. It is best after you’ve read the main books. I don’t think this hangs quite as well on its own, but that still means this is damn good.
8/10
Mythical Beasts: A Touch of Light by Thiago Abdalla
SPFBO Status: SPFBO 8 Finalist
Lynn, a rogue griffin rider, has uncovered a deadly madness that threatens to destroy the Domain. She can’t escape this enemy, but to fight it, Lynn must risk being found and branded a traitor by her old order.
Prince Adrian has never been pious or on good terms with his father. After losing those closest to him, however, he must either work with the king or convince the Church to deem his loved ones worthy if they are to have a chance at resurrection.
In the clanlands, where death is considered a necessity, Nasha fights to prove she belongs. A cursed hunter and a lifelong outcast, she has always struggled. But when the land itself begins to wither away, Nasha might be the only answer.
I read this almost nine months ago and feel like I should have taken notes and I suspect I might like more on a re-read. It’s on my TBR for re-read, but it’s down the list a ways.
That said, this book is heroic fantasy which I’m starting to realize is not my jam. However, there are a lot of distinct bits throughout like relations with Griffins and a strange but cool religion and characters who were all very distinct.
For me, it is a 6.5/10
Special Note: This was Champion of Covers by Cassidy’s alternative SPFBO 8 where she gathered judges and ran an alternative finals that was very interesting and had very different results. My tastes doesn’t tend to align with Cassidy. Please don’t read this as a slight. What the judges do is hard work and deserves respect.
But, if you’re reading my reviews and thinking I’m an idiot with no taste, this might be the best book for you.
Elemental Magic: Reign and Ruin by J.D. Evans
SPFBO Status: SPFBO 7 Winner
“All magic is beautiful...and terrible. Do you not see the beauty in yours, or the terror in mine? You can stop a heart, and I can stop your breath.”
She is heir to a Sultanate that once ruled the world. He is an unwanted prince with the power to destroy.
She is order and intellect, a woman fit to rule in a man's place. He is chaos and violence and will stop at nothing to protect his people.
His magic answers hers with shadow for light. They need each other, but the cost of balance may be too high a price. Magic is dying and the only way to save it is to enlist mages who wield the forbidden power of death, mages cast out centuries ago in a brutal and bloody war.
Now, a new war is coming. Science and machines to replace magic and old religion.
They must find a way to save their people from annihilation and balance the sacred Wheel—but first, they will have to balance their own forbidden passion. His peace for her tempest, his restlessness for her calm…
Night and day, dusk and dawn, the end, and the beginning.
When I was reading one round reviews, the only argument I saw was an author who believed they had written a historical Norse fantasy be told by a judge that they had written a historical novel and the ‘fantasy’ elements were the type of thing that happens in real life. Norse Shamanism/mysticism were part of real life said the judge, an Asatru practitioner. Nothing fantasy happened in the novel.
Regardless of the which side you come down on, the novel hit a sore spot with the judge and I felt like if the book had found any other judge the book would not have faced that particular criticism.
Reign and Ruin hit a similar ‘sore spot’ for me and if I encountered it in the first round it would be rejected. I think this is an example of the degree of ‘luck’ involved in judging process.
I picked up because it won SPFBO7. I started it, hated it, put it aside at about 40ish%.
But it had won SPFBO 7, and I struggled to understand it, especially since the runner-up was one of my favorite reads of the last few years. Then bingo dropped, and my reaction to the elemental magic square was ‘this is the type of magic authors with no originality use because they can’t think of anything better.’
Might as well get it over with.
Yeah, so I came into this process ready to hate this novel. But I wanted to understand why I hated this novel and to what would anyone see in it.
So, it is well written and the couple in this romantasy have definite chemistry, the setting is a cool Middle Eastern setting, if you’re not a period Nazi like I am. The gazes and descriptions of the two leads are very detailed. It has twists and turns that make sense. I read this SPFBO review and I found I agreed with every point.
The biggie that killed author creditbility for me is that I accept that young characters in modern fantasy are a little older than I would like for the age that they doing their ‘first’ adventures. To me, between fourteen and sixteen is the ideal combination of agency and inmaturity in a preindustrial society to start getting in ‘interesting’ situations. But I accept that this is younger than most readers/authors go with nowadays. I start to get annoyed when characters are over eighteen for no other reason than to offend modern sensibilities, especially if I feel their position, say cabin boy, would be filled by a younger character. But I can accept it and if everything else is well written/plotted, get over it.
But when a female MC character is being declared an adult at twenty-four and declared ready for marriage, my inner critic is seething. Especially because the setting is presented as very sexist. I’m literally remember screaming at the speaker in my car that a girl wouldn’t be given until twenty-four before either being married off or pushed into rebelling like a proper plucky princess with magical powers.
I felt like the evil vizier is just an evil vizier stock character from central casting. I’m not usually a fan of elemental magic, especially if they come with built in personality traits. I found the degree of physical description of the two hot leads in this romantasy annoying but fully accept others will embrace this.
Basically this book, in addition to a big thing, hit little thing after little thing that just happen to annoy me. But literally everything was a matter of MY, taste, preferences and prejudices etc.
But I have read books that are simply awful. This was not one of them.
So I finished the book. I see why others enjoy it. I do not love it. But I respect it for how it forced me to look at examine my own taste.
7/10
Myths and Retellings Fionn: Defence of Ráth Bládhma: The Fionn mac Cumhaill by Brian O’ Sullivan
SPFBO Status: SPFBO 2 Finalist
IRELAND: 192 A.D. A time of strife and treachery. Political ambition and inter-tribal conflict has set the country on edge, testing the strength of long-established alliances. Following the success of their ambush at Cnucha, the Clann Morna tribe are hungry for power. Meanwhile, mysterious war parties roam the forests and a ruthless 'Tainted One' is intent on murder.
In the secluded valley of Glenn Ceoch, a disgraced druid and a woman warrior have successfully avoided the bloodshed for many years. Now, the arrival of a pregnant refugee threatens the peace they've created together. Run or fight, the odds against them are overwhelming.And death stalks on every side.
This is about the babyhood Fionn mac Cumhaill, legendary Irish Hero, or rather his foster parents, Bodhmhall the druidess, and her lover and female warrior Liath Luachra as their settlement is threatened.
Characters were distinct and felt like they were people of their time. Historical setting worked. The book was generally likable, plot was good, but overall this book didn’t grip or stay with my once I had finished.
This very much felt like someone else’s favorite read and I hope this review helps them find this.
6.5/10
Row 5
Queernorm Setting: A Rival Most Vial by R.K. Ashwick
SPFBO Status: Finalist in SPFBO 9. Special Note, I considered holding my review of this because it is a current SPFBO finalist. I chose not to because it was low enough in the rankings and those rankings have been relatively consistent i.e. no wild swings between a 5.0 and a 9.0, for the same book, that I find its position unlikely to change much I didn’t think would change much until today’s review by Queen’s Book Asylum.
Two potion shops, one heated rivalry…until hate bubbles over into something else.
Any adventurer worth their sword knows about Ambrose Beake. The proud, quiet half-elf sells the best, and only, potions in the city—until a handsome new shopkeeper named Eli opens another potion shop across the street, throwing Ambrose’s peace and ledgers far off balance.
Within weeks, they’re locked in a war of price tags and products—Ambrose’s expertise against Eli’s effortless charm. Toil leads to trouble, the safety gloves come off, and right as their rivalry reaches a boiling point…
The mayor commissions them to brew a potion together.
The task is as complex as it is lucrative, pushing both men to the limits of their abilities and patience. Yet as the fires burn and cauldrons bubble…they find a different sort of chemistry brewing.
This book as a Queer Romance is an 8/10. As a sitcom setting about a group of friends it’s an 8/10. I can see why a lot of people like this book. But the main characters are potioneers and that is a job, albeit one that Ambrose loves.
But this story is that they could be about perfume makers in Paris or special effects types in Hollywood and only the window dressing and details of the story would change. Setting is a rather generic city in a D&D style world.
For me this book doesn’t work in a worldbuilding sense, and I’ve come up with a special term for it; the Flintstones/Jetsons line.
The magic is used to mimic the modern in a mundane, surface way. There is insurance and magical phone equivalents to call family back home. This is very much like the SF elements of The Jetsons and unlike, say, Orconomics where the adventuring economy says A LOT about the larger world.
Therefore, rating it highly as a fantasy or even a speculative work, feels a lot like giving The Jetsons a Nebula or Hugo award.
6/10
Coastal Setting: Burning Bright by Melissa McShane
SPFBO Status: Semi-Finalist for Fantasy Faction, SPFBO 8
In 1812, Elinor Pembroke wakes to find her bedchamber in flames--and extinguishes them with a thought.
At 21, she is old to manifest magical talent, but the evidence is unmistakable: she not only has the ability to start fires, but the far more powerful ability to control and extinguish them. She is an Extraordinary, and the only one in England capable of wielding fire in over one hundred years.
As an Extraordinary, she is respected and feared, but to her father, she represents power and prestige for himself. Mr. Pembroke, having spent his life studying magic, is determined to control Elinor and her talent by forcing her to marry where he chooses, a marriage that will produce even more powerful offspring. Trapped between the choices of a loveless marriage or living penniless and dependent on her parents, Elinor takes a third path: she defies tradition and society to join the Royal Navy.
Assigned to serve under Captain Miles Ramsay aboard the frigate Athena, she turns her fiery talent on England's enemies, French privateers and vicious pirates preying on English ships in the Caribbean. At first feared by her shipmates, a growing number of victories make her truly part of Athena's crew and bring her joy in her fire. But as her power grows and changes in unexpected ways, Elinor's ability to control it is challenged.
She may have the power to destroy her enemies utterly--but could it be at the cost of her own life**?**
I liked this book. Elinor does a wonderful job balancing being a woman, raised for marriage in upper class England, yet also coming to a place where she can rebel against that upbringing, and join the Royal Navy. Here, the ability to set enemy ships on fire at a distance will cause the admiralty to put aside any concerns about gender.
And the rest of the book is similarly pays attention to detail and does a good job of keeping the reader invested.
The romance with her Captain is not rushed and is very much a slow burn. This is an enjoyable read, not a SPFBO winner but solid.
7.5/10
Druid: Becoming a Druid by Mike Mollman
SPFBO Status: Entry for SPFBO 9, reviewed by Fantasy-Faction
Grahme has wanted to be a druid for as long as he can remember. Talented but headstrong, he runs afoul of a despotic, mind-controlling mage during his initiation quest. The price of failure is death. Intrigue and distrust has turns his order against him. Haggard, hunted and without his magic, Grahme must make impossible sacrifices or lose everything.
This follows Grahme, apprentice druid who has alientated two masters and is on his third. He is therefore given an incredibly tough initiantion test, as in instead say deliver a message, his is confront essentially a Dark Lord who his master feels his fellow Druids are ignoring.
I enjoyed the setting which was modeled on Iron Age Britian. Grahme to me was an enjoyable protagonist, though I suspect a lot of readers will find him annoying. I was less enthralled with the magic, which is very D&D, to the point I felt I could quote a Players Handbook, though the underlying philosophy of this world’s Druidism felt very non mechanical in the best soft magic sort of way.
I don’t think this is everyone’s type of book, but I have put the sequel on my TBR.
7.5/10
Features Robots: Angel From the Rust by Jason Link
SPFBO Status: Entry for SPFBO 9, Reviewed by Becky M and an ‘almost’ Semi.
They say Earth was a place of wonders, where towers pierced the clouds, cities lit up the night, and flying machines streaked across the sky. It was magic. But the magic conjured the End War. Fire fell from the sky, and metal beasts leveled the cities.
That was six hundred years ago. Now the ruins of the Ancient world are buried or overgrown. And the technology of the past is feared as forbidden magic.
Corvala, a young musician on the run from the law, never intended on getting mixed up with history. But when a murderer falls from the heavens and sets himself up as a god, she’s driven into the wilderness and discovers the secret of her bloodline: a code of immense power embedded in her DNA. The code could save thousands—or plunge her into madness.
To defeat the tyrannical false god, Corvala must do something more terrifying than confront the demons of Earth’s history. She must confront her own.
This book does a lot right. There are stakes, Corvala’s mother went insane and this is likely to happen to her. She is a musician and wants to do well with the time she has. This defiance makes me like her immediately.
There are small details, like the book taking place in the Pacific Northwest, though this is not explicitly stated. There is a great arc with the MC’s father, who is a cop who believes technology is evil, like most people in the setting do. There is a guardian robot named Serapha, who resembles an angel.
There is a space station in orbit of our Earth, and a murderer exiled from the station with mind control powers and an understanding of ancient technology which is the main antagonist aside from the creeping insanity which is a wonderful thing to inflict on your SF heroine.
There are some quibbles. Corvala reads a bit too much like a modern for my taste and the world is a little too YA for my taste.
This is an enjoyable entry, but it is DQ’d on account of being SF, with no genuine fantasy elements in sight.
7.5/10
Special Note: There was one SF book that qualified as a SPFBO semi-finalist for being so damn badass that I believe the judge said “fuck the rules, this has badassery”. I agree with that assessment. That book is The Nothing Within By Andy Giesler. Best Amish post-apocalyptic novel you will find anywhere.
Sequel: Miss Percy’s Travel Guide to Welsh Moors and Feral Dragons by Quenby Olsen
SPFBO Status: Sequel to SPFBO 8 finalist Miss Percy’s Pocket Guide to British Dragons
First, there was a trunk. Inside the trunk was an egg, and inside the egg was…
Well, it certainly was not a chicken.
Miss Mildred Percy, former wallflower and current adventurer, is now in charge of a dragon. Along with Mr. Wiggan and Mrs. Babbinton — our stalwart companions from the first volume of Miss Percy’s adventures — she embarks on a journey across Wales, in search of the mysterious Nyth y Ddraig, or Nest of Dragons.
But traveling with a young dragon in an unfamiliar land proves more difficult than anticipated. Between angry mobs, midnight rescues, and recalcitrant sheep, they battle (figuratively) their way across the countryside, defend themselves against enemies old and new, and discover something remarkable hidden in the mountains of Wales.
I enjoyed this book though not nearly as much as the first book in this series. That was because the first book was about Ms. Percy rethinking and changing her life as dragons become a part of her life.
This is less that, and more of a travel log rather than ‘my life is changing’ book and because of that, things like the writing style are more intrusive. I liked, just not as much.
9/10 for the 1st book, 7.5/10 for this one.
Thoughts
I read these and am very glad I did this and am a fan of SPFBO. I also have a job that keeps me in the car 30+ hours a week. So 21 of 25 books were audio books. I sometimes picked books in part because there was an audio version available.
I think if I were to do this again I would try to branch and and fit more physical/kindle books. I think I would switch out some books.
Do I think the quality of books increased/decreased from entries to semi-finalist to finalists, but it was uneven, and there were entries that I liked more than some semi-finalists and some semi-finalists I liked more than finalists. I was surprised to find that my favorite read (Gunmetal Gods) was ‘merely’ a semi finalist.
Among the finalists, they came out as close but ‘not quite’ in order. I chose two finalists from the bottom and the middle permanent rankings (Out of Nowhere and A Touch of Light respectively) and they were near the bottom of my rankings that had four 8+ scores and three SPFBO winners. The seven 7+ scorers were the true wild cards with me disliking one, respecting but not liking another, and the final two being decent but not world shaking.
Finally, congratulations to every entry in SPFO. You’ve done something I’m struggling to do, which is finishing and publishing a novel. That is an achievement.
Book Guide:
Finding Books You Like, General Guidaince:

1. Find judges your taste aligns with, know which judges you learn your tastes does not align with.
2. Know your special interests. I love it when characters don’t feel like moderns in setting dress, I love life or death stakes, I love heroes in difficult circumstances. But there are smaller things I like; things such as children being put into cross-cultural settings, people who are living a normal life, complexity.

In the finals books and teams made up of multiple judges, books seem to fall into one of three categories for me. They are:
Consistent:
Typical Scores Are-
8 (The judge that nominated them), 7, 7, 7.5, 8, 8.5, 8.5, 9, 8, 7.5
This could mostly 8’s or all 7s, but maybe with one or two outliers, all scores are 1-2 points apart and this is the category that has every winner, and if you read an something where all scores are between 8-9.5, it’s probably great. If you read books that averaged between 6.5-8, and a final score of 7.2, maybe, maybe not. Consult your own taste for advice.
The other two categories are more interesting.
One Judge Wonders:
Typical scores are-
8.5 (the judge that nominated them), 7, 7, 6, 6, 5.5, 6, 7, 6.5, 6.5.
There were a lot more 4s thrown out in the early contests. I don’t know if the judges have gotten better at choosing or more circumspect when they think the other judge’s choice is not up to snuff.
Score where one judge likes a book and doesn’t quite align with the other judges. You should look at these if your taste tends to match with the judge in question or you have another reason.
For example, you’ve read something by the author or the subject matter aligns with your interests or some other reason.
For example, I love when fictional children are kidnapped (Uthred forever!) and so I’m still planning on reading Daughter of the Beast. I may read Tethered Spirits (final score 6.60) from SPFBO 8 because I trust Becky M’s taste and I’ve read TA Hernadez’s SPFBO 6 Semi-Finalist Calico Thunder Rides Again. That’s two upvotes.
Still, these seem to be near the bottom of finalist board every year.
Split Decisions:
Typical Scores-
9 (the judge that nominated them), 9.5, 9.5, 6, 5, 5.5, 7, 8, 8, 8.5
These books, arguably, are the books that end up in 2-4th place, but in many cases a lot of people are still talking about them 2-3 years later. There is a good reason for this. The judges that gave them a 5 have gone away, while the judges that gave the books 9’s are giving glowing reviews to the sequels for the next 2-4 years and have gotten other book tubers/reviewers/redditors to talk about them.
I feel this is the largest growing group of books because of judge turnover. There is simply less consensus about what is’ good’ then there was a few years ago. It is also the most promising.
If you find a book that scores a 9.0 for you, you’ve found the book that makes you weak in the knees in utter book lust, so much they tell their significant other “leave me alone, I’m reading”. They seduce, keeping them up until 4 AM, entranced.
Some examples from the last few years: Legacy of The Brightwash by Krystle Matar, Miss Percy’s Guide by Quenby Olsen, Scales and Sensibility by Stephanine Burgis, Hills of Heather and Bone by KE Andrews in SPFBO9 looks like a likely candidate at time of writing.
There are a lot of smart and distinct ideas, characters of types we don’t see often enough that may match up with your special interests or fill a specific niche.
Why You Should Look For Books Among The Starting Entries:
About forty percent of the books are simply not ready, needing an another or a few passes past a beta reader or otherwise could professional help to their book better. The reviews for the books make it clear.
But lets look at a couple books that got good reviews.
There are lots of books among these 300 where, in an alternate universe, the author is finalist and basking in publicity and sales as an SPFBO finalist.
Rada lost out to an eventual finalist, The Last Ranger and reading the review it is clear it was close. I probably would have chosen Rada. It has a six-year-old protagonist for god’s sake.
Gods of the Deep by Drew Montgomery is an ecological fantasy. It got a good review which I remember but couldn’t find because my google-fu is weak.
Either of these might the thing that interests you.
Here are a list of other books the piqued my interest, and may pique yours. I haven’t read them, but they may be your one judge wonder or ‘almost’ Semi Finalist. A couple I have heard about post contest with reviewers I trust. But they are:
Starlight Jewel by E.L. Lyons
A Thing Immortal by Barry K. Gregory
Lady of Ravensmere by Mary Mckenna
Rada by Tracy M. Joyce
The Vow that Twisted Fate by Katherine D. Graham
Beneath the Lanterns by C. Litka
Gods of the Deep by Drew Montgomery
Night Demon by Stehen Wolberius
Picking Books From Among the Semi-Finalists and why you shouldn’t limit your searches to finalists:
First of all, Zack Argyle gives you a good website to look at them.
Secondly, the finals are the survivors of ten different elimination competitions. And in spite of there being Senlin safety net option that judges should probably use more often (Yes judges, if you're sending a finalist and your book doesn't score an 8.5, consider it you saying you don’t believe it has a shot, because 8.65 is what it took five times to win and victory under 8 has happened once). These books are winners of ten contests of thirty, not one contest of 300. Like any sports tournament where there are freak results, one ‘bracket’ which is full of lots of weaker options and other brackets with a lot of strong options.
Going through my Semi-finalist reads, five of six books could easily be finalists and I think my semi-finalist winner has an 8+ score in an alternate universe.
There are six times and many books, which is six times the chance to match your taste.

Heyo.
Pre-Problem: Continuing from the title... I have a used PC I purchased from a second-hand store (think Goodwill). Being a prebuilt, stock Dell desktop, I searched the desktop model online when I came across it in the store. To my surprise, it seemed like an absolute steal for the price. Assuming it worked, I bought it.
At home, I hooked up a monitor, keyboard & mouse, and the power cable it came with. Pressed the power button and it boots right up. In no time at all I was at the Windows 11 user login screen. I figured it would be password locked and it was. No biggie. I just needed to clear all files and reinstall before I flipped it.
I went to the Windows Advanced Troubleshooting menu (I think that's what it's called, but don't quote me on it) by clicking restart while holding the shift (don't quote me on that, either) key. I navigated through the menus choosing to remove all files, don't keep any old files and reinstall windows. I did not choose the option to write 0's over everything, just remove the files.
After that, the PC started doing it's thing and it seemed fine for a little while as I watched the progress. I started playing a game for a bit then checked on it to see where it was at. Here is the problem: It seems to be stuck in a boot loop.
​
Problem: First the PC will power on to a black, Dell splash screen with a circular rotating icon. After maybe 20-30 seconds, that screen will disappear and then a light blue screen with a progress bar appears that states something like "please wait... this may take some time and this PC may restart several times." This screen only stays up for like 1-2 seconds before the PC restarts and it repeats this cycle over and over again as the progress bar stays stuck at like 64%.
At first I didn't do anything just to be sure it was really stuck in this loop and then I pressed the power button. PC shuts off. I power it back on and its the same exact loop. While troubleshooting, I read to try to power cycle the PC 3 times for a recovery menu or something to appear but that didn't happen.
​
So yeah. After all of the reading I've done trying to troubleshoot, I'm pretty sure there's only one thing I can do at this point to get it running again. But just to be sure, I wanted to come here and ask if anyone has any insight they can offer.
​
TL;DR: Used PC is stuck in loop after trying to remove files and reinstall windows. Boot>Dell Splash>Windows Setup/Installing screen>PC restart>Repeat x infinity. What do? Need Help. Thank

I've been working with CPAs and other bookkeeping professionals who subcontract work to me, and I have no clue what they charge the clients hourly. I have a few of my own clients that I got through Upwork and referrals, but we agreed on hourly pricing and I accepted lower prices than what I'd like in order to get experience and a portfolio of clients. I'm now working more seriously on taking on new clients and I'd like to charge flat rate fees. This is what I've come up with for my first potential new client who only has 1 bank account with under 100 transactions. I quoted them per service requested. Does this pricing seem fair? Client is a small S-Corp based on the east coast, US with themself being the only employee to run payroll for as of now.

• $200 per month for expense/income tracking and account reconciliation up to 100 transactions per month (average - if you go over 100 transactions a month here or there, no biggie. If business transactions exceed an average of 100 for 6 months, pricing will be revisited)
• $25 per month for preparation of income statement, balance sheet, and other reports upon request
• $50 per month for payroll up to 3 employees (Gusto monthly service fees are paid by you)
• $50 per year for 1099 prep and filing up to 25 vendors/contractors, billed annually in February
• $25 per quarter for estimated tax filing & payment, billed in April, July, October, and January

Any advice and input is much appreciated. Thanks!

Me (17m) and My best friend of Anne (16F) were playing lethal company, until I proposed that we should invite Jason (16m),my male best friend for 11 years. She agreed so I asked him if He would like to play with us, he also agreed, while we were playing, Julia (16F), my friend and Anne’s, who is also Jason’s classmate joined, (We were talking on discord) She didn’t have the game so I streamed it to her, Jason and Anne were really hitting it of, and I mean REALLY, Which made me paranoid, Thinking they would just “leave me”.
The next day we were playing again, I bought julia the game since it was on sale and we all played together that day, Jason and Anne suddenly had Inside jokes, ignored me more etc, until I just simply left, it Hurt me seeing them well happy and me just being on the side. Later on they messaged if everything was fine, which I lied and said the power was out.
Anne figured out the real reason I left earlier, and said she understood, which made me sent her a voice recording saying that she doesn’t, I raised my voice for 10 seconds or so accidentally not even noticing it at first, until she pointed it out. It made her feel guilty and like a bitch. I apologised and still feel guilty that she felt and probably is still feeling guilty.
Anne said I should’ve taken my anger out on Jason, not her. After I calmed down, I massaged Jason explaining the situation, he apologised.
2 days go by, I didn’t talk to Jason and to Anne, same way around. Until Julia asked on the Gc if someone wants to play tonight, both Jason and Anne said That they are available, I hesitated to respond at first, so I asked if I also can, when Julia said of course and that Quote “no one wants to replace me.” I messaged Anne if she was fine with me playing tonight, she responded that she would probably not talk as much and that’s it, I asked if we could talk about this whole situation, which she refused since she didn’t feel good today. Also asked Julia if it’s better to sit this out which she said that it is better to sit it out. But I had to text Jason, since I trusted him the most, he said that if I play tonight, Maybe Anne will feel better etc. Which I thought he was right.
It’s 8pm. I texted Julia that I would be a little late, Which she responded with that they rescheduled to tomorrow, no biggie. Until I saw that they are all suddenly offline at the same time on steam, I ignored it 2 hours go by, I checked they latest activity since I felt paranoid, and there it was, they suddenly had 2 hours more than last time (did the math) and it said last played march20.
I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back with a knife essentially, I never felt like that in my life. It may sound extreme, but I have major trust issues, so to be lied like that from the only people I trust, was a big blow.
Jason texted me a little bit after I found out, I said that they should go “fuck themselves”, at this point I had no words for them.
Later Anne massaged me, said they had no choice, any 3 of you could have said the truth to me, instead of lying. She said that they did it because Anne was still feeling guilty about all of this and didn’t know if she could talk with me without getting emotional. I understood that but it doesn’t justify the fact that they lied to me. She kept insisting that I should join the vc and Talk it out ( I would’ve probably joined but since she didn’t want to earlier, it looked like she was scared of loosing me) So I cut off contact with them.
It may seem harsh to just cut contact, but I would’ve probably never trusted them again, especially since I trusted them the most.
So am I in the wrong? (Feel free to ask about details in the comments)

For note: I”ll be calling My friends by their first letter of the name, so nobody gets confused.
To start things off, Me (17M) and my Female Best friend H (16F) Were planning to play Phasmo on Monday, Which I invited my Male best friend of 11 years to play named E (16M) (He sometimes played with us before) and we were playing as usual, until I noticed that they were really starting to talk a lot to each other, which no biggie, until they kinda were ignoring me? Be I just Ignored it and it thought it was my paranoia getting the best of me.
the next day where we played Lethal company, My friend and H’s friend Names J(17F) was on call with us (J goes to the same class as E, but they didn’t really talk) she basically just watched my stream and talked with us. And again they were talking more with each other, and ignored me more which got me really worried this time. After we parted our ways I asked J directly if I’m just paranoid or overthinking it, which she reassured me that I’m just seeing things.
The next day we were supposed to play at 8pm or so, this time also with J (I bought her the game since it was on sale), While we were playing I was Really paranoid that they would just completely forget about me. When E and H were singing and already having some inside jokes etc, I just left the game, left discord and went to sleep. (You might say that I was way to paronoid, which true, but also E kinda already stole my previous friends “accidentally” and I was scared it would happen again, but then why did I even Get them to meet? I was naive and thought it was going to be different)
The next day I get A message from All 3 of them, I just lied and told them the power went out. H Knew Why I left, and she said that she understands, at which point I kinda snapped and sent her a voice message where I said How I felt and Raised my voice accidentally for less than 10 seconds (I wasn’t even aware until she told me.) She felt like a bi#ch and was also Mad why I took it out on her and not on E. so after I calmed down, I messaged E calmly and he apologised etc. I thought everything was fine.
2 days go by, none of them talked to me, or I to them. Until in the group chat J asked if we want to play today, which I hesitated and asked if I can as well (I didn’t know if they wanted to play with me since maybe they were still feeling guilty.) J assured me that I can and that nobody wants to quote “Reject me”, remember that. I took her words to heart. I messaged H and she told me that she won’t talk to me much and that I understood. Also asked J if I should play, she told me it’s better not to since it may be awkward, while E told me to Play with them because That awkwardness has to go away somehow.
So when It came to the designated time, I told E I will be late, 20 minutes or so. I asked J if they are already playing, because I saw her active on steam and discord, which she responds that She can’t today, so They rescheduled it for tomorrow. All of a sudden I see all 3 of them Be offline at discord and steam at pretty much the same time, which I ignored because Like I said I took her words to heart that they don’t wanna reject me.
2 hours go by and I look at their profile to See If E finally Completed alien isolation (wanted to check his trophies) when I see that last time activity; “lethal company, last played march 20th. Total play time; 8.9 hours” I looked at J’s profile, also 20th march Etc. Which I thought maybe they just turned it on and then they rescheduled, so I did the math and E should have 2 hours less than me, and J an hour more than she had.
I felt betrayed, especially since I trusted them. I did the screenshots, and while texting J I Asked her “you know what’s weird?” Her responds being “?” And send her the screenshots and Said Why the hell do they have more hours? No response for a good hour, checked their game status again to see if I was right, turns out they turned their Activity to private. I snapped and said in the gc they deserve each other etc. I left the group.
10 minutes go by or more, E messages me if I can join the Vc to talk it out, which I obviously responded that they should go fuck themselves, at this point I never felt so betrayed in my life, And I was having a panic attack, then H messages me that “they had no choice”, How about telling me the truth? She explained that she just couldn’t handle facing me and talking to me today because she still fell bad, so they played behind my back, which I understood, but it doesn’t change the fact they Lied, and couldn’t tell me the truth, all 3 of them. So I broke off all contact with them.
That may sound extreme, but I’m someone that has major trust issues, So for someone to just lie to me like that, even tho I understood why, doesn’t change the fact I would probably doubt everything they say to me, if they’re also just not lying.
I felt so bad and still did for a while for H, I didn’t even want to imagine how she felt and still feels.
That happened a week ago, and I just found Out that E and H are New besties so called. Which I feared from the start and knew would happen after breaking contact off. E messaged me before writing this that I’m a Two faced Snake, apparently H told Him that I was talking behind his back and making him look like A quote “psychopath”, which wasn’t true at all, the only time I talked about him to H when He got mad at me for something stupid but never said anything bad.
Which leads to now, me writing this, sorry for this being so long and stupid.

Please jump ahead if you would like the straightforward review and not the Tea and back story:)
Author Expertise:
I am new to the Rep world, really new... about a month in but I do love trying new tech gadgets in fact from my mom/family groups I am the go to should I try "X gadget" person because I probably have tried it... How I stumbled into the rep world it's an interesting story that I will tell in my last review of this 3 part saga haha... I have tried 4 sellers (for rep science of course) and I will do the other 2 sellers' reviews later (if you are interested in reading them, I will link them here)
When I found out about reps, my mind went straight to the one brand I would not spend crazy money for but think its stuff is nice... After looking at a couple of auth, I landed a Birkin 35 (I am a 31-year-old millennial who looks young and I have to go the my corporate office 2 times a week for my banking industry job... so I figured this would be a great time to migrate from a backpack to a purse and just maybe I can look a little more mature)
After reading this subreddit and a few others, I landed on
A. DDmodes and Steven; are of similar quality but Steven is "slightly better"? for the high-quality seller
B. Alice and UB; are great quality but are more expensive, I was able to find the prices for UB so I did not contact them because after reading and seeing photos, it did not seem like the quality was worth the price jump (in my opinion). However, I was not able to find Alice's prices so I contacted her intrigue by multiple people saying "I have a bag from Alice and I love it" but no reviews or photos for some reason.
-Contacted DDmodes she was very responsive and will talk about our conversation in the timeline, along with her I contacted Steven who was very fast to respond. Communication with him was one-word answers that did not make him seem as interested in my money as DD was haha. He also mentioned they were out until the end of the month and they needed 20+ days to make the bag once they came back (at that time this meant at least 40 days) so at that time I took him out of the running. (Did get stuff later from him:))
Then I contacted Alice and she answered quickly but
A. Her quote was over 4 times more than DD & Steven
B. Her IG has 1 follower?
I still really wanted to check her out so later in a 2nd attempt I contacted her again for a mini Kelly quote, the quote was 5 times more than DD so at that point I gave up. hahaha (She will remain a mystery for me haha)
Disclosure:
The seller does not know I am writing a review
Seller Contact:
WeChat: DDmode
Whatsapp: +8618802004029
Website: http://ddmode.top
DDmode factory
Price Paid for Item:
Birkin 35 5500 CNY
Mini Kelly 3500 CNY
Shipping 800 CNY (Asked if she could ship both items together to save on shipping, she said yes... but that she will only send one Hermes box)
Paid via PayPal Friends and family $50 in fees
Shipping Tracking info:
I was sent a waybill and was able to track the first leg of the shipping, never received a FedEx tracking
15 Days from shipping to reception
Timeline
2/18
Contacted DDmodes and asked for Black B35 PHW
she notified me that PHW would take 20 days to make but GHW was in stock. She gave me her quote and told me the price of the shipping and at this point, the girl math kicked in and I thought I should get something else to take advantage of the shipping (of course I could save the money of the second item if I don't get it but that would make too much sense)... Anyway I ask for her mini Kelly inventory and price
2/19
-DD showed me her mini Kelly inventory
-I chose the ones I liked, asked for pics
-I got the pics and chose the one I wanted
-I ask what happens after I pay
-She said "Payment, can tomorrow send PSP and ship"
so I was like... heck yeah! this is going to be so fast!!
2/20
-I asked for the final quote and how to pay
-DD gave me a quote and asked for me to pay PayPal FF (that seems to be the norm)
(at this point I have not seen any pictures of the B35 and only 1 not great pic of the Kelly)
-I said great I will pay right away but before I did that if she could send me PSP for the b35 since it is in stock.
-Within a minute she sent PSP... I put the PSP in a couple of subreddits and after a few hours I paid, also asked about charms
-DD mentioned that I did not pay the right amount and that she would add 1 charm per bag to my shipment (yay!!)
-I apologized, sent the remaining balance, and asked about the PSP for the Kelly
-She asked what color I wanted, I forwarded the picture she had sent me and said "This one" (I had agreed before so I guess she forgot, no biggie)
2/21
I checked back at her end-of-day (the next couple of days, I was just confused about why she did not have this PSPs handy since it was an In-stock item)
-"Any luck with the PSP for the Kelly?"
-"Today send pic"
2/22
-"?" (me at the end of what would be her day)
-"please wait on pics"
-"When do you think you would be able to ship?"
-"Today send PSP and ship"
2/23
-DD sent me the PSP for the Kelly
-I took about an hour to look and respond saying it looks great and my shipping info also the charms I would like for the bags
2/24
-I ask about tracking again
-"Today send tracking number"
2/25 (Sunday)
a Sunday, DD doesn't even rest on Sundays?! haha
-she sends me the Waybill
-I say thank you and how excited I am
Out of curiosity, I used the waybill number to track via DHL and it showed that the package was shipped on the 23(when I approved the PSP) not sure why she did not say she shipped it when she did but who knows.
3/6
Received package
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Overall the timing from contact to ship was very fast, I just wish she would have been more honest on this time frame... Like "X would take 3 days" rather than her saying she would get it done the same day and just keep failing at the delivery. same thing with the shipping I asked for the FedEx tracking and never got it... I would have been okay with a "sorry, I can't find it" or something like that rather than every day saying I'll send it today, then again the next day... It is all about setting expectations, now I know what to expect and hopefully, you do as well.
Quality of your rep from your factory:
-I am so happy with both of my bags, they came both in 1 Hermes box together with individual dust bags the dust bags were inside out and the Hermes logo was covered which I thought was funny but I get it... no FUFU smell but it did smell like perfume. I would guess is some type of Hermes store perfume.
-Stitching: both looked at an angle so maybe they are actually hand-stitched? they did not have the "second line" so maybe that's a telling sign if someone looks at it closely
-Inside: looks great, feels very lux and durable
-Leather: felt strong it smelled like real leather I inspected it and did not find any flaws.
-Hermes stamp: looked straight and not too deep on both
-The hardware: looked the same as the auth, the only issue I had was peeling one of the protection stickers the clue stayed and it took me a while to clean it but this only happened to the Kelly.
PSP
My Photos
Rep Satisfaction
LOVE my two bags, I tried to take the mini to a Hermes store (to see if I could feel any difference) but then I realized the store wasn't there anymore so now the closes store is 3 hours away, maybe I will take a look next time I pass by on vacation or something like that... I made the mistake of showing my sister-in-law and she alluded to wanting one so I will possibly get her one for her birthday...
Seller Satisfaction
DD was great, she is very sweet. very responsive, I want to think she is overextended so when she said (multiple times) I will do X today and in reality, she did not do it for multiple days, it was more a matter of her 'not getting to it' because she is so busy rather than her just telling the client what they want to hear (or at least I would hope haha)
She will be my go-to for Hermes bags:)
WIMB
In my B35 I have
-13inch laptop
-Full-size hardcover book
-Notebook
-40oz Hydrojug
-Sony over-the-head headphones
-Bunch of little things in the pockets
YES, this bag is super heavy but luckily I just carry it for short periods.
Photo
In the Mini Kelly
-Phone Galaxy fold
-Keys
-License and Credit Card
-Lipstick (pushing it)
You can not fit anything else
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Thank you for reading, please let me know if this was helpful:)