Background: 30 year old female competitive long course triathlete. First tore that meniscus in April 2022. Returned to racing September 2022. Pain onset this time June 2023. Stopped running October 2023. I've had pain ever since June. The scan I attached was from November 2023 - I had one in April 2024 which says much the same but adds large areas of full thickness articular cartilage loss. My knee pretty ok to walk and cycle, but never really feels "normal", and the moment I hop or try to run, or go up stairs, I have instant pain anterior medially. Tried a hyaluronic acid which did nothing for me... I'm a nurse for work, so on my feet a decent amount.
Do you think I'll ever be pain free? Do you think my knee can get better? Do you think I'll ever run again? Or compete again? Or now that the meniscus has torn, the cartilage has worn down, the bone is therefore exposed to higher loads and I'm doomed to be on the one-way road of irreversible knee degeneration and pain?
I've pushed my body hard over the years, and expected to have to retire from sport at some point, just not this soon. Or I thought there would be cures for this stuff by the time I started having problems...
Yes I have seen a sports physician, ortho, and currently see a physiotherapist. Sports Dr and physio say it should improve. Physio says I should 100% get better and will be able to return to competing. While I appreciate his belief and optimism, and I need that, it's just weighing on my mind that after almost a year it's not gotten better :( I'm wondering if I need to adjust my expectations/goals...
What do you guys make of all this? I realise it's near impossible to make accurate diagnosis/predictions based on the information I've given you, and I will be taking responses with a grain of salt. But I'm getting desperate and am keen to hear anyone's opinion nowadays (especially if it can give me some hope).
Thanks for reading

background: 22F, ive been a psych care tech at this hospital for a little over a year. but the thing is i take the school year off and last summer i worked at a camp but still had this job and would come on my days off. so i’ve been an employee for a year, but haven’t worked consecutively.
lately i’ve been feeling like i want another job, mainly because i feel out of place. like everybody else gets along so well and hangs out & stuff. then there’s just me like this 🧍🏾‍♀️LOL. also, this is a high end hospital. & by high end, i mean in a suburban area. i’m a black girl, and 1 out of 4 black girls in the whole unit, and not from this area at all. matter of fact im from kind of the opposite, the hood if you will.
is it fair for me to want to leave? or should i just wait it out? my main goal was to get my foot in the door here, so that i can maybe move up or for when i go to nursing school. but now i have the experience to go elsewhere. idk. i dont feel like i belong, and i feel out of place. i dont feel like i can fully be myself, i have 2 coworkers im cool with but the nurses and stuff idk, and even w those 2 coworkers it’s still the same feeling.
asking for advice but would also like to vent. thanks in advance

Man, this is complicated. It's also very, very long.
A little piece out of a lot of background: I've been sick for about 10 years old. For the first six of those years, it was mainly a physical illness. I had chronic pains that the doctors just couldn't figure out and it derailed my entire life. Then in 2020, I ended up in a rehab facility for about 18 months. The first year there was really slow since I was still in pain, but after about 10 months I finally got the meds I needed and my aches went poof.
Amazing!
However, once they did, I discovered that I had a lot of latent psychological trauma etc. that popped its head up as soon as I didn't have the physical pains to distract me. I asked the nurses and doctors there for help with getting in touch with someone who could help me with that, but that didn't happen and instead the remaining 8 months was hell because somehow they decided that instead of offering help, they'd gaslight and abuse me. I've never felt so disconnected from reality because it didn't matter what I did or how hard I worked to accomplish a goal, I always did something wrong and never worked hard enough. It was a wild time, in the worst way possible.
Then I was kicked out of that facility and into my own one-room apartment. I was hesitant about the benefits of living alone right in ground zero for my previous trauma, but then again, staying at the place I had just been at wasn't really an option either.
Well, as it turns out, it was as horrible of an idea as I had feared. I quickly spiraled mentally since I was just alone with myself all day every day, and my own head is a pretty toxic conversational partner.
However, one upside to moving out of that facility is that it opened up another avenue of care for me. I'm not sure how to translate the Swedish health care system into English but basically, if you don't need to go to the hospital for something more urgent, your first go-to health care place is a vårdcentral. I'll just call it a "VC" from now on. You go there for all of the usual smaller things that doesn't require a surgeon or something. There are doctors and nurses there and they'll help you if they can or refer you to a hospital or other health care facilities if they offer the help you need.
When I came home from the rehab place in August of 2021, I got into contact with my local VC and explained that I needed some psychological help, and they let me talk to a counselor. She eventually sent me to another counselor of sorts who was supposed to evaluate me and then send me to the actual psychiatrist who could help me. After talking with her for a while, she sent me on my way and I met the psychiatrist in December of 2022.
We met up and had one conversation, but he basically said that there was nothing he could do for me. There were some reasons why but I don't think those matter now. The point is, my psych help kind of ended there. For various reasons, it wasn't picked up until six months later when I went on a boycott of all of my medicines in order to force my VC to actually do something. They had stayed radio silent up until then despite my pleas to find me some kind of help.
I ended up meeting with another one of their counselors in May last year and we've been talking ever since then. However, I wasn't getting anywhere. I said to her that the only way I saw myself getting better was by going to another of those rehab facilities since I wasn't able to get better on my own. On a fundamental level, I just don't function while alone. I shut down completely and just go on auto-pilot. It doesn't matter what we come up with while talking because as soon as I'm alone again, the auto-pilot engages and I remember almost nothing that isn't a hardwired biological need until I start interacting with another person again and the auto-pilot disengages again.
I had a three-way phone call with my counselor and the woman in charge of granting stays as such rehab facilities, and I said that one thing that I needed as a necessary guarantee was some sort of additional psychological help so that I wasn't simply helped physically and then thrown back once those needs were met. I've been there and done that, and I've seen how destructive that can be.
On the first session with my counselor after that call, she said that she could refer me to another counselor since I had pretty much said that only her support wouldn't be enough during my stay at that rehab facility (if I get a spot). I wasn't sure if that was the best way to go but since we hadn't really gotten anywhere in the last year, it didn't seem like the worst idea.
And this finally brings me to what this post is really about.
I had an initial conversation with this new counselor and then sent her a letter where I outlined my feelings better than I managed in the conversation. She asked if she could show the letter to her boss but didn't say why. I said sure, and after that we settled on a new session that was last Thursday.
During that session, she explained both why she'd taken my letter to her boss and why she'd be stepping down as my counselor after just a couple of sessions.
The reason she took the letter to her boss is because I outlined how I'd been ping-ponged around different counselors and psychiatrists for almost 3 years. That just wasn't right.
The reason she stepped down as my counselor was because of what the psychiatrist I'd met briefly in December 2022 had said about me. I was only aware of what he said directly to me: "I can't help you." However, what I was completely unaware of was that he told my VC a whole different thing: "This guy needs a whole team of (more suitable) psychiatrists."
They seemingly completely ignored this. As I mentioned before, for the first 6 months after my meeting with that psychiatrist, they did nothing. I had to resort to fairly desperate measures to get them to act, but when they did act, they just handed me to one of the counselors who were woefully underqualified to help me through my issues. This is why nothing happened during the year I was speaking to her. She then passed me on to the most recent counselor, and she realized that my issues were far above her paygrade. This wasn't the reason she stepped down, though. Rather, she felt that as long as I had a counselor, everyone around me would just assume that I was getting qualified help when the reality was far from that. As such, she thought that her staying on would do more harm than good to me.
She advised me to talk to my doctor about it and I just so happened to have an unrelated appointment booked with him for later this week so at least I can talk to him without having to wait a month or so. She also suggesting reporting all of this crap to the governing body for health care issues.
I don't know what to feel. I'm angry and confused. It feels like I've lived on a diet consisting of nothing but knuckle sandwiches for the longest time, with these recent revelations being a huge one-dish buffet.
I just needed to get this off my chest.

Posted on his Facebook page that he is moving to a Communications job at SSU. Thanks for everything Dustin!
On Sept. 11, 2001, a series of terrorist attacks set me on a path to do three things: to correct misinformation as a life goal, to enter a field that in some way improves people’s understanding of their world, and to earn bipartisan respect in how I do it.
I’ve written an untold number of stories across 23 years and been taken to places new and old, familiar and fresh. I've interviewed rock legends, presidential candidates (well... one), and along the way met unforgettable sources ranging from a baby battling neuroblastoma to an elderly Lawrence woman growing a potato in her apartment and naming it like a son.
Of course, this path has had its drawbacks. I was told early on that “being a reporter doesn’t pay well,” and that I was entering a “dead industry” fresh from its collapse in 2008. But, after my first time talking to a doggie daycare that made the Today Show and becoming friends with a cat, I realized the career also paid in memories... amply... and there’s really no place I’ve worked that has created more memories for me than Salem. It’s the beat I’ve worked the longest as a reporter; the most recent Halloween marked my 10th in the city.
It also marked my last.
On Oct. 24, seven days before Halloween, I turned 40. I did so without having yet saved any money for retirement, and while working at least 70 hours per week at two to three jobs for the last several years. The combined paychecks still put me a good bit below median household income for the area — something that comes to mind every time I see a comment online that talks about how people should try living where they can afford to.
There's also a dark side to journalism that has emerged in the last half-decade, one that I’d argue doesn’t get enough attention. It’s one of the few industries that is entirely private while also being fully public-facing — journalists are effectively public officials, without the protections and benefits of being public officials. We take a lot of shots from readers, some of whom would delight in us being out of the job and financially destroyed, and we just chuckle and move on with our day.
For the dark side, there’s also the light. In some parts of the real world, journalists are thanked for their service as if we’re active military. I’ve been compared to nurses working the pandemic, held up as a leader stabilizing a maligned society, and invited to share my perspective and experiences with high school classrooms, podcasts, even Boy Scout troops.
Being a reporter pays well in the memories you collect along the way (thankfully they aren't subject to a tax). To that end, I’ve at times felt wealthy for having the privilege of covering a city like Salem — even with its dark underbelly actively arguing that I shouldn’t have a job or be allowed to exist.
With this double-edged sword equipped for so long, I knew I’d put it down at some point. When thinking about the kind of job it would take to leave the news industry, I found there was really only one that kept coming up in my mind: an opening in Communications at my Alma Mater, UNH. That would honestly be a dream... a position like that opening at a college campus I knew so well. To my fortune, that exact position opened in my backyard toward the end of 2023, on a college campus I know just as well as UNH — if not better.
In early June, I’ll be switching careers as I assume the role of Associate Director of External Communications at Salem State University.
I loved my college experience and always joked that if I won the lottery, I'd go back to school and get a degree in physics, do something nutty with string theory. But really, there’s something about the college environment where I’m most comfortable: everybody is there to learn and grow, and, from each graduate, society receives an opportunity for transformation. The feeling you get walking through a space like that can't really be replicated anywhere else... At least that's the fuzzy feeling I get when walking onto a college campus.
It’s hard to imagine leaving the only world I’ve known professionally and no longer covering the city I love, but I’m not going that far. I’m still working in the same beautiful city and would love for you to say “hey” when you see me out doing whatever. You may also see my byline from time to time, and I think I'd even like to continue doing “the spreadsheet” each night polls are open.
But, for now, this bro is going off the record to go back to school.

So, in May 2023, my friend (Em f23) and I (f28) had a conversation that started off friendly. Just chit-chat and funny anecdotes from the day. She brought up a situation with her coworker she enjoyed. It involved tourettes and one of her coworkers' specific tics.
I made a comment that I genuinely didn't think much of at the time. It was just some trivia I knew of and thought was interesting. Specifically that people with tourettes can 'catch' or involuntarily copy tics from other people with tourettes. It's something I learned from watching content made by people with tourettes. She made a comment like, "Maybe it's not like that, in this specific situation with my coworker."
Here's where I should have realised she was not interested in my trivia. What I definitely didn't realise was that it in fact made her mad, but I kept pushing anyways because I felt I was correct, that the coworker had picked up the tic from a well know streamer because it was literally identical. Em then stopped answering, after a couple hours of silence I asked her if she was actually mad about what I said and she responded with "Its fucking fine." Cue her not talking to me at all for 3 days. On the third day, she said we needed to have a sit-down conversation about boundaries because she "is having big feelings." her words, not mine.
I was so confused about what would have triggered her wanting to talk about boundaries when the conversation we had was a mild disagreement at worst. I would understand if I said something offensive, but I literally just said a fact and my opinion on her coworker, I didn't try to force her to agree, and there's proof of the streamer with that specific tic so it wasn't like I was lying to be able to one up her or something? I don't know, this whole part of the situation is incredibly confusing to me because she never talked about why that conversation triggered her to give me the silent treatment in the first place or how it led her to wanting to talk about boundaries. In the end, the boundaries she talked about much much later had nothing to do with this conversation even though it seemed to be what caused her to want boundaries. Idk, I'm still very confused about what actually caused her to want to have the discussion after the three days of silence and a minor disagreement.
At this point, still May 2023, I was in severe pain, but I did not know it was cancer yet. I was barely making it through each day with how much I was in pain. The tumor is in my leg, growing out of the top portion of my tibia in a way that has made the tibial platue hollow, or essentially a whisper thin shell of bone filled with slime, sorry but that's the best way to describe it. At any moment, my surgeon told me this later, I could have broken that thin bone and had a collapsed knee joint. I say this so you you know when I talk about pain here, I'm talking excruciating levels of pain.
So walking specifically and everything else was extremely painful, and that was taking a lot of energy and brain space. I told her I was in a ton of pain. I was exhausted and barely scraping by just to keep working while waiting for my doctors visits to hopefully figure out what was wrong. I said I would try to find a day to have "the talk," but things just kept getting worse. By the end of July I had seen four different doctors, three of which thought I was just trying to get drugs, the last one was an orthopedic doctor and she took two minutes of looking at an xray and another minute of looking at my leg to say I most likely had a tumor.
The official on paper diagnosis came in September because of the waiting time to meet with the surgeon, but we knew it was a tumor in August. I was put on essentially bed rest from august to the day I had surgery September 27th. I told Em about the tumor the day I got the MRI results which I had in mid August to prepare for the appointment with the surgeon. Her response was extremely upsetting to me.
Em: "That's a lot to deal with. The possibility of having a malignant tumor is scary and can make you really question life. When you're put into a situation like that, it forces you to look back on your life and reevaluate. You find out what you really want out of life and what you waisted too much time dealing with. That's really tough. I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me about your pain. Being more supportive of each other was something I wanted to talk about. Hopefully, you have a sweet and easy recovery."
That response hurt, it felt like she was saying I had a lot to regret in life and like I didn't have much time left to live to fix my regrets. But I thanked her for the empathy she tried to give and moved on. After that she never checked in on me, never asked how I was or what the plan of treatment was. My surgery was scheduled for the end of Spetember, the day after her birthday. I wished her a happy birthday. Then I let her know after the surgery that everything went well and that I was going to be in the hopsital for a few days. I was loopy on strong pain meds so i also told her that my nurse drew me a cute doodle on my white board, she said ".That's great! Hopefully you heal fast so you can go on a date with her. 😉" which was totally out of the blue. I havent dated anyone in the time Ive know or been friends with Em. Im asexual, and an extreme introvert, dating is not really my thing and she knows this. So that comment was very weird to me. After that she never even texted to check in on me or tried to visit me in the 5 days I stayed in the hospital after the surgery. Keep in mind, we are supposedly best friends.
I almost considered our friendship over by then, but I reached out to her when I was pretty much back on my feet to see what was going on and asked her what the conversation about boundaries was about. I apologized for being too chicken shit to ask about it earlier because I don't do well emotionally with getting criticism even when it's valid and I know I need to hear it. On top of that I was (and still am) dealing with fucking cancer. Not an excuse, it is an explanation though. So I apologized.
Her responses here, copy and pasted from our messages:
Em:
"First off I want so say that it's very respectable that you are willing to admit what you did wrong. Thank you for the apology.
Secondly, I don't know if the the conversation is still worth having. I'd be lying if I said I was devastated that we dropped off and didn't communicate for months. To be brutally honest, my life has drastically improved in our time apart. I'm so much more effective and positive. I'm very proud of how far I've come.
That's not to say I believed that you were the soul cause of all of my misfortune. In fact one of the boundaries I wanted to set was actual planned dates instead of spontaneous ones. Because I realized that I was using you like a form of procrastination. I couldn't do the things I needed to do because I chose to hang out with you instead. With my main distraction gone I've been able to thoroughly work through my shit, mental and physical.
When we last hung out I remembered feeling dark and heavy afterwards because it was nothing special. It was just a normal outing for us. I remember feeling angry that what we should have talked about wasn't addressed. Annoyed that it seemed like nothing had changed and that I had not changed. And scared that opening up communication could lead to me falling back into the pit again.
I don't know if we should have the original talk because so much has changed for both of us. We both equally walked over our own thresholds of hell. What I had to say months ago, I believe was true then, but I don't think it will be true now. I think it's quite possible for us to start anew and correct and develop as we go. But I think it would be just as easy to admit our friendship was a great experience. We were there when we needed each other. But it might be time to go our separate ways.
I will say, if we collectively choose to merge back together. I WON'T let it be the same. I don't want you to tell me every tiny dark secret. But I do want you to tell me that you want to stop at game stop and ask me to take you somewhere. Without fear of gas. I want you to tell me if it pisses you off that I take you to only crystal shops or that I talk about spiritually. Because I want to improve. I have no intention of continuing a relationship that doesn't inspire growth or bring me positivity."
So she stopped talking to me, because she had no self-control. She abandoned me during the worst medical crisis of my fucking life, because she doesn't know how to manage her time or her motivation. She punished me, for her problems. To be very specific the spontaneous hanging out was nearly 100% on her. I would ask to hang out rarely, because I never had the chance to because she would be asking to see me multiple times a week.
I'm not a social person, so other than work I don't have much going on and she was my best friend. I wasn't going to say no if I didn't have any other plans. She never brought up that she was procrastinating anything by hanging out with me. Never a peep. Never a hint. Nothing. I had no idea any of that was going on. If I did know I would have been 150,000% there to support her by asking how her goals were going, how her chores were going. Hell I would have helped her do chores as our hang out if she had asked. I did help her with some stuff. Painting her head board, rearranging and cleaning her room, working on crafts when she needed motivation to finish a piece for a friend, being a study buddy when she needed to focus on her mental health books, things like that.
Also in what world is learning to be accountable for your own actions and vacuuming regularly the same as going through cancer? I don't like comparing pain or life struggles usually, but this was a crossed line for me. For her to say her dealing with procrastination was an "equal threshold of hell" as my bone eating tumor and excruciating pain and the fear of it spreading to other parts of my body, it infuriates me still to think about that.
So I am now hurt and angry as hell, that she stopped talking to me over seemingly nothing that I did. I had no idea what was going on with the tourettes coworker conversation that ended in "its fucking fine" from her and then her next message was about her needing to set boundaries. And then she says her life is better without me in it.
Friendship effectively over. Or it should have been.
Here's where I'm a bit of an asshole.
I took her back. I said we could try again. That we both needed to improve but that we could do it better this time. At the time I genuinely believed it. For a couple weeks.
Then the more I thought about laying in that hospital bed, alone, wishing I had someone to distract me from the pain and fear, the more I started to realise her reasons for cutting contact was bullshit. Her wanting to have this big talk about boundaries and the boundaries she wanted were literally nothing I could do they were all her issues with her own decisions and there's was nothing I could change about myself to fix the problem she was putting 50/50 on my shoulders. Her saying her life was better without me when that whole time I was crying over missing her and trying to figure out what I did wrong where I fucked up, what I could do or say to fix it. It all just added up too much and so I sent her one last message.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking and going through my emotions and I think I'm going to step back from whatever this friendship has turned into. I'll be honest I feel betrayed that you didn't even try to support me going through cancer. I understand things were rocky when I got my diagnosis, however if our friendship was important to you on any level I can't understand why you didn't even text me to see how I was doing for months at a time when you knew I was going through one of, if not the most, difficult medical diagnosis humans can get. I felt completely abandoned, especially since the reason we even stopped talking and hanging out was because of your own procrastination issues which I had nothing to do with. If you had even just told me that you needed to get things done before we could hang out I would have supported you unconditionally. Instead you gave a vague "we need to talk about boundaries and being more supportive of each other." And then never supported me in the darkest time of my life so far. It's taken me a while to get to the root of why I feel the way I do, but I don't think I can just let this go like I wanted to. I loved being your friend and it always felt like you valued my friendship too, until you were cutting me off because of your poor time management. I know that will sound harsh, I'm sorry, but it's true. I have my own issues that hurt you, I know that and I really am sorry. I am sorry I could never reciprocate financially, I'm sorry you were the one always picking me up and driving. I'm sorry that I never gave you the birthday or Christmas gifts you wanted. Thank you for all the amazing times. Goodbye."
To clarify the gift thing, I have been very poor for a long time. I am neurodivergent and I struggle to hold down a job. But I hand made her gifts, or cooked for her. The last thing I made for her was a crochet mandala blanket, please look up Radiance Mandala Blanket to see how much effort I went to, she picked the colors and I made her a lap blanket version for christmas 2022. It took her less than a month to complain that she wished she could have picked the colors. SHE DID. I told her to pick a pallet of colors specifically for her blanket and did my best to match the colors she picked with yarn I already owned. It wasn't perfect but I got it as close as I could. I don't like to make a big deal out of things I do for people because giving to the ones I love is literally the easiest thing in the world for me. But to have her act like I didnt try to make it as perfect for her as I could hurt so much.
Anyways, back to me telling her I was done. Her reply back pissed me off, maybe because I was already angry. It felt so patronizing and dismissive. But that might just be because of all the emotions I was already feeling at the time I read it.
Em: "Your feelings are valid. I'm sorry I made you feel abandoned in the hardest time. I wish you the best of luck on your way through life. Fall in love, have your farm, raise your kids, craft wonderful creations, enjoy the many YouTube videos to come, and don't forget to live your best self. I'll take this harsh lesson and apply it to friendships in the future. Live long and prosper, my friend, and have many pleasant wanderings."
Harsh lesson my ass. If it was harsh for anyone it was harsh for me to learn my best friend gave absolutely no shits about me and couldnt be bothered to try and support me through this medical crisis. We haven't spoken since. I have her blocked on everything. So, aita for cutting off Em? Even though I'm angry, I'm conflicted because I still love her, she was my best friend for 6 years.

Short context, Im a bisexual (femme) woman, 22, and graduating palang ako this July. I met a girl (femme rin) (27) in bumb and we we're talking for weeks na when we decided to meet. It's not a date but we both know we're intimate. So ayon, we had lunch, nagktv, nagdinner and nagwalk around sa mall. The next day gusto niya na agad ng 2nd meet but mag Tagaytay daw kami. Balikan naman. Nagulat ako bec 2nd meet and out of town agad. She's working already and ako obv not yet, and if im going to spend money, lahat yon from my parents. Even the car na Im planning to offer na gamitin namin is sa parents ko, tho inoffer nya na manghiram kami sa ate nya. And honestly, I dont think papayagan ako. Im feeling quite self conscious kasi problema ko pa if papayagan ako, na naguiguilty ako over these things. Also natatakot ako sa pacing namin kasi ambilis nya (she initiated holding hands sa first meet and talks about kissing na). I have goals pa talaga (graduate + pass the nursing licensure) before entering a relationship. Di ko naman inexpect na mapupunta to sa serious haha. I was after fun lang talaga sa bumb. But she's so diff from everyone else talaga e, kinda fell for her na rin. 😭
How should I communicate these matters sakanya? I feel like we should've met later when Im more settled na in life. Should I stop na habang early pa, focus on my goals muna and try again when im financially independent? Bec i think ayon talaga dapat kong gawin need ko lang ng pep talk and I dont know how to tell her rin >.<

I am so confused and a little overwhelmed. I just took my first shot Saturday. My doctor didnt give me a lot of advice on how to eat. Some of the nurses that specialized in Diabetes recommended Keto, but I didnt want to try that again. A lot of my research suggests Protein focus is the way to go, i just dont know how much. When i try and ise the different match problems it asks you to add or divide with your weight. Os the weight I ise my CURRENT weight or my GOAL weight.
For example, on post said to multiply your weight times .36 to get your protein. Would that be my current weight x .36 or my goal weight x .36
Sorry if this is confusing, its just so strange
Thanks!

Three months ago, Terra went missing for a week , we later found out she fell off the balcony. When we found her she can't walk and was in very very bad shape, we took her to the vet and she went there daily for checkup for a week straight. Shortly after her brother Luna has a blockage and I know nothing about it I thought he was straining to poop so I didn't take him for check up immediately which lead to acute kidney disease, long story short after mulitiple reblocked and another month of nursing he is now feeling much better. But then Terra still can't quite poop right, after the 3rd time taking her to the vet to treat constipation she got an Xray and turn out she got hernia and has to get abdominal surgery. That is one month ago.
Recently Terra has to revisit the vet because she is vomiting and can’t pass down feces, again. After every incident like this it just makes me seriously question my self worth as her owner how could I let things go off the trail so badly. That if I have been more of a decisive, capable and just, a know better human, these would never have happened. She would have gotten to live another happy year instead of having this disability. And my life would also have been better, more productive, I could have more time to draw, to apply for jobs and to go to school and said job with less of a worry.
I feel so much shame for the things that have happened and for the person I fail to be, for all the plans I wrecked, all the budget goals left unattended over uncountable vet bills, for missing deadlines, missing the gym. And at the same time feeling so restless and lonely having to do everything on my own, having to deal with my parents’ annoyance when I ask for assistance, for my friends encouraging words without any actual act of care.
I don’t know how long I can go on doing this, I have so many big projects that will screw me over if I can’t meet the deadlines this year. But I don’t feel like myself. And I don’t see my cat getting any better.
Edit: Terra and Luna are my two cats, they are littermate and I adopted them when they were babies.

I'm sure I'm not the first person who's asked this question but: should I consider switching to nursing?
Some background-- was a HS graduate of 2020 (yay COVID). OG I was gonna go to Colorado for an art degree, but COVID made it clear i needed something more stable. I went to an in-state college for Software Engineering originally, but decided i HATED coding and switched to Child Learning and Development (CLDP). Mid-bachelors, I fell in love with SLP and decided that after I got my BS, i'd go for SLP. Fast forward to me graduating this year and my GPA is shot. Like 2.6-something shot. I feel like I'm going to amount to nothing. I went for a 3.68 GPA in HS (and with an A.A due to a dual credit program) to a 2.6 in College. Life was a bitch these past four years. but I've grown and changed.
I wanted to be an SLP but going to grad school sounds impossible with my GPA and the loans i'd have to take out sounds miserable (I'm already ~17k in debt but I am paying that off). I have three partners (yes, three, this is not a joke.) who are lovely and I know will support me and they're doing/going to do amazing things. And I feel like I'm not gonna measure up. I considered doing an SLP-A program but a lot of those require a 3.0 minimum GPA and taking the GRE is expensive. Options aren't looking up and I do not want to hold my partners back (and I want to move out from my parents ASAP).
Cue me doing some research and realizing that I can become an RN in only two years with an A.A.S at my local community college. And from there, become a BSN. But even with an RN I'd take the pay. I'm a licensed RBT (and I'm considering going back to being one because the pay was decent but ABA is VERY controversial and I'd have to look into programs that aren't abusive to their clients), I have a BS in CLDP, and I'm about to start an internship doing Developmental Screening in my neighborhood for children.
I'm also scared. Nursing is a hard career (and i respect everyone who does it)-- my mom is a nurse. She works long ass hours. I remember being a kid and she had to rent an apartment in Waco because she'd work at a hospital for two days straight out of the week. It also has stability and would pay the bills. I know that you get a lot of abuse, co-workers/management can make work a living hell, and it's not a glamorous job.
But I also do care about people-- I'm passionate about care and I've even been a babysitter for 10 years, so I have the patience from working with kids. I don't want to seem like money is the main goal but in this economy and with the plans/lifestyle I want, nursing seems like the quickest return on investment. And who knows-- after going through the RN path, it may help boost my application for a MS in SLP-- if I decide to go back.
What do?
TL;DR: fucked up undergrad. trying to decide if pursuing nursing as a CLDP major or if it's too late and to eat shit lol

Tl;dr: Feeling a huge amount of doubt over my relationship and a strong desire to break up but I'm not sure of how valid my feelings are
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He's truly such a wonderful person and I feel so happy and comfortable whenever we're together. At the same time, I've been plagued by doubts about the relationship from the very start.
All the good things I appreciate about him;
He's intelligent, he's sensitive, nerdy and open-minded, loves to travel, loves to read and write, he's super attractive to me and the sex is great, he's super committed in our relationship and I've had never had to doubt whether that's true. He's sees a future with me and hopes that our relationship will lead to marriage and kids (building a family is a major goal of mine as well). I have so much fun talking with him and exploring the world with him. He's humble. He has lots of ambition to pursue his interests, but those interests aren't to gain money or status
All the bad (or grey-zone) things;
He often zones out when I talk about my life or my interests and he doesn't ask me many questions about my interests. He might ask me about my day but not ask any followup questions. When I bring up things that are stressing me out, he doesn't get invested in learning about what happened. I've talked to him about these communication issues a few times in the past and he has always clearly been upset to see me upset and has promised to work on improving our communication. I have seen a little bit of improvement but it's inconsistent. It makes me feel small and like all of our conversations are meant to serve him. I feel like I don't get enough airtime. I know that he's not doing this intentionally.
I don't love his family. I don't feel connected to his parents or siblings, one of his siblings I actively dislike because they're simply not a nice person. I had issues in my family growing up and I always dreamed that I would one day end up with someone who had a family I could become close to. I'm not sure I'll get that if I stay in this relationship.
He's in a very different career path than me and this has been (I would say in a minor but noticeable way) driving us apart. He primarily works night shifts as a nurse. I'm a software engineer and I work a 9-5 (it's more like a 10-8, I'm in a very intense job). This means that on the days that he's working it can be difficult to find overlap in our schedules. A positive of his career is that he gets a lot more time off than I do, allowing him to travel as much as he wants and I can just tag along whenever I have enough PTO. I still find myself resenting his career all the time and wishing he was in a field that was more similar to mine. I feel like I can't talk about my work with him because he doesn't understand and doesn't try understand (it's understandable, from the outside software engineering is complicated).
I want to continue to climb the ladder at my company, but for his career path the ladder doesn't really exist (you can get promoted, but it's not as high of a ladder as in tech companies).
Now I 100% realize that this will contradict the last point in my 'things I appreciate about him' section. This feels horrible and shameful to write, but I resent that I make more money than him. I had anxiety over my family's financial situation as a child and to this day I still have anxiety about being financially stable even though I make plenty of money. I always imagined I would end up marrying someone who makes at least the same amount as me so that I would feel more secure for retirement or buying a house.
I recently went on a trip by myself for 2 weeks and I found myself not missing my boyfriend.
I don't know if I'm being an idiot for wanting to break up with him. I should probably break up with him so that he can find someone who will appreciate him more.

Took my NCLEX for the first time last Friday, got my quick results 2 days later, and I found out I passed! This will be a long post but I hope it’ll be helpful to anyone who needs it.
TLDR: i used uworld and mark k. the actual exam itself was easier than expected. my advice is to have faith in yourself and focus on learning and understanding!
For some background: I graduated in May 2023 (and became an RN in May 2024!). I’m an international graduate so it took a while for my papers to get certified, fly back to the states, and for the BON to give me my ATT. So by the time I get my ATT, it’s been almost a year since I’ve been out of school and I’ve done no studying whatsoever lol. Honestly, I had no motivation. I was tired after 4 years of school and I just wanted to rest. So I was very thankful for that long break. Then I got my ATT and I knew I had to start studying at some point. My school prepared us for that country’s board exam (which I wasn’t taking), not the NCLEX. I felt that I really had to put in some elbow grease in my review. But I’m kind of at a loss for where to start and I felt so overwhelmed by all the different resources and advice people were telling me.
RESOURCES
I ended up only using two main resources: UWorld and Mark K. However, I also did watch BeautifulNursing’s Comprehensive Review on youtube (which was a nice, summed up version of what Mark K talked about).
Mark K was great, especially if you’re someone like me who needed a content refresher. I’m pretty sure none of the topics he went over showed up on my exam lol. Nonetheless, his lectures were incredibly helpful because it set up a good foundation for me in my review. I had forgotten so many of the topics in my year-long break and if I started my practice exams without watching his lectures first, I would’ve been completely lost. He also gave good memory tricks, shortcuts, and test-taking strategies. However, the bulk of my learning and content review came from doing my UWorld qbank. Mark K doesn’t teach you everything and there’s a lot of lacking/outdated/incorrect information. So that’s just something to be aware of. Overall, I would still recommend his lectures.
For UWorld, I had initially planned to watch the lecture videos they had for content review before starting any practice exams. And I did that for a good while before I realized how useless and what a waste of time it was because I was not retaining any information or learning anything. Eventually, I only studied by strictly doing the question bank and learning from the rationales there. I read every single rationale and made sure I understood why the correct answer was the right one and why the wrong answers weren't. But I didn't write down everything. I only wrote down what I felt I needed to. My notes are literally just bullet points on flashcards. Their rationales are very detailed and informative, but no way was I gonna write all that down lol. This exam is not about memorization, anyway. It’s about understanding and application.
I feel like UWorld prepared me quite well. The topics that showed up on the exam were familiar to me because I had done so many questions on them before. This is also where I was able to develop my critical thinking skills and learned how to break down each question.
Just an observation, UWorld questions are written pretty wordy and I found that the NCLEX is much more straightforward and concise. I don't think it really made that much of a difference for me in the end.
As for scores (which I really, really recommend you shouldn't be stressing too much about), I started off scoring in the high 50s. I steadily improved to the low 70s by the time it was the week of the exam. But I didn't even use half of the question bank. I also had 4 Self-Assessments and I took them every few days in the last 2 weeks leading up to my exam. In order, the results were: Low, High, High, Borderline.
STUDY SCHEDULE
I was pretty inconsistent with my studying. It was difficult to get motivated and studying just gave me anxiety. But I studied for about a month in total. I really only got my ass in gear the last 2.5 weeks where I studied everyday anywhere from 5-12 hours, with breaks throughout the day. I did 50-200 questions a day, the most being like 220 questions that one time. I really hammered in those rationales so it took a while to get through them. Within a week, my scores improved drastically and I started to feel more confident in taking exams because I was actually understanding each question and how to break them down. It took a lot of discipline and focus for a lazy student like me to do something like that. That last week, I realized I was burning myself out and some nice people on here told me I had to relax hahah. They were right because I was so exhausted that I wasn't learning effectively anymore. I still did my qbank (for the sake of calming my restlessness), but not as intensely as before and only for maybe 1-2 hours a day. On the day before my exam, I read through my flashcards and took my last Self-Assessment (without reviewing it) and that was it.
Btw, I’m not saying to cram your studying or to study to the point of exhaustion. I’m saying that you know yourself the best. You know your limits and you know what you need to study effectively. Anyway, that was my last time studying like that, since this was the last major exam I ever have to take haha.
DAY OF THE EXAM
My nerves didn't let me sleep at all the night before my exam so I was up hours before my alarm. I had some breakfast, said my prayers, and went to the site. When I was walking into the testing center, a lady who already finished her test was wishing us luck as she was walking out and right before she left, she said "allow yourself to succeed". It was like something clicked for me and the anxious voice in my head that’s been yapping all review season, finally shut up. That stranger was like a guardian angel telling me exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. I prayed one last time and went in to take my exam.
In all honesty, the NCLEX was easier than expected. Not to say it wasn’t difficult, it just wasn’t what I was expecting. From reading all these reddit posts about how people felt like they weren’t confident on a single question, I walked in there ready to fight for my life. But surprisingly, it went a lot smoother than I thought it would. It was very doable and was not the impossible obstacle many people made it out to be. The most time I spent on a question was probably 5 minutes (but then again, I’ve always been a fast test taker). I straight up guessed on maybe <10 questions. On the ones I had a harder time on, I could narrow my choices down to the top 2. If you haven’t chosen a reviewer yet, I really do highly recommend UWorld. The questions can be hard, but they fully prepare you for the NCLEX (if you properly digest those rationales). I promise! I felt like I was taking just another UWorld practice exam. I probably looked crazy to the exam proctors because I was fully immersed in my exam. I was quietly thinking out loud and talking to the computer, walking through my thought process for each question (just like how I would do it at home with UWorld)
When it shut off at 85, I didn’t know what to feel. I was prepared to go the full 150 and at first, I wished the test gave me more questions to let me prove myself. But then again, I was feeling semi-confident with my answers. So I had a feeling I would be alright.
I refused to do the PVT trick (just in case I might be given false hope) and waited the 48 hours. I felt the heavy burden finally lifted off my shoulders when I saw that PASS on my screen :)
TIPS/ADVICE

• Have a support system: I wouldn’t have gotten here without God and my loved ones. I only told my family and a few close friends I was taking my exam. I didn’t want to feel pressured with having tons of people know. But I also knew I couldn’t go through this journey alone. I confided in God and my best friends (who became RNs before me, so they completely understood what I went through). They were there to believe in me when I was filled with self-doubt. My family was 110% confident in me from the get-go and constantly told me they knew I would pass my exam. I turned to prayer whenever I could. My point is, make sure you have a way to keep the faith. Whether that’s God, manifestations, affirmations, the people you love, or anything. Whatever it is you need to remind yourself that you are absolutely capable of passing this exam. A large part of this journey is your mindset and emotional/mental health.
• Don't compare other people's experience to your own: I had a bad habit of scrolling through people’s posts on here and watching “How I Passed My NCLEX” videos and found myself comparing my experience to theirs. During my multiple instances, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Wasn’t studying enough. I felt like maybe I should’ve used another reviewer. Maybe I should’ve studied like this. Maybe I should’ve been getting higher scores. Maybe I should’ve done this, done that. That toxic mindset completely drained me and hindered my reviewing. While it’s good to be inspired by other people’s stories, the important thing is to focus on yourself and your own journey. No one’s is going to be the same. Our readiness, study styles, and circumstances are all different. The point is to learn. Remember what your focus is and don’t be distracted by what others are doing. We all have one goal, but we arrive there in different ways.
• Don't focus too much on scores, focus on your learning instead: To a certain extent, you should be getting somewhat decent scores or at least show improvement. But it doesn’t necessarily reflect all the learning you’ve done. I have a friend who used Archer and was scoring high 80s on practice exams, but ended up going to 150 on the actual exam. Another classmate was getting 70s-80s and passed at 86. There are people on here who’ve said they’ve had low/below average UWorld scores their entire review and still passed on their first try. My point is, you can get any type of score on your practice exams and still pass. AS LONG AS YOU READ AND UNDERSTAND YOUR RATIONALE (I can’t emphasize this enough. Please direct your energy towards actually learning). Again, the scores can be used as an indicator on what you need to work on. But don’t rely on them as a way to tell you whether you’re going to pass or not. You’re just gonna give yourself unnecessary anxiety (like I did lol) and drive yourself crazy.
• Practice makes perfect: Repetition is key. Put the work in and do those practice questions!! That’s where you get your exposure to different topics and situations the NCLEX might throw at you. Practice how to deal with it! Learn from your mistakes. Do it over and over again until you become confident enough in your critical thinking and application.
• Know the principle: When Mark K said “don’t memorize a list, know the principle”, he was absolutely right. Our fundamentals are the most important thing we need for this exam. I was able to answer questions with topics I had never seen before, just because I knew basic information. They are the foundation of our knowledge. They can be applied to so many different diseases and situations. If you don’t know anything, make sure you know your nursing fundamentals; they will not betray you.
• Be confident in the work that you have put in: As long as you give all that you can into your review and you come out of it with more knowledge and skills, you will be perfectly fine. As that stranger told me, allow yourself to succeed. Don’t let your anxiety or doubts tell you what is what. You know what you are capable of. Be proud of the time and effort you’ve dedicated towards this exam and know that is enough to pass.

Remember, my experience is not yours. Take whatever resonates with you or whatever’s helpful, and leave everything else :)
Thank you for reading! To God be the Glory.

Me: 41/F. I've been going to the gym 3-4 days a week for about 6 weeks, so I'm definitely in the habit which is great. It's a small apartment gym but we do have dumbbells and kettlebells. Here is my "normal" routine:
Warmup: 9 minutes treadmill (walk 1 minute, run 7 minutes, walk 1 minute) 10 squats with dumbbells 10 bent over rows each arm with dumbbells 5 pushups 10 lunges with dumbbells 10 chest press with dumbbells 30 mountain climbers Repeat the above list twice Cooldown: 13 minutes treadmill (walk 1 minute, run 11 minutes, walk 1 minute. I enjoy this part the most so I usually end up increasing the run to 13 or 14 minutes.)
If you could recommend ONE change to the above, what would you recommend? Could be adding something or swapping something out. I can't do pullups yet so none of those.
I can only change one thing at a time because I have knee issues - if I change 3 things, and my knee hurts the next day, I won't know what caused it. My goal is the long view: I would like to stay out of the nursing home when I'm 80. Not needing to get "ripped" or have washboard abs or anything.
Thanks for any advice for ONE thing to change!! I'll be back on here in another few weeks for another thing to change!

Guys be honest tell me what you like about the uk and what you don’t like.
I just came here and I honestly don’t know much about the country.
Also I’m 16 years old but turning 17 and I’m currently trying to figure my way into education since public schools wouldn’t take me in because of my age. Im not able to go to sixth form since my certification from the country where I came from is not equivalent to the gcse’s. My main goal is to get into uni with nursing. Would there be any opportunities for me?

Guys be honest tell me what you like about the uk and what you don’t like.
I just came here and I honestly don’t know much about the country.
Also I’m 16 years old but turning 17 and I’m currently trying to figure my way into education since public schools wouldn’t take me in because of my age. Im not able to go to sixth form since my certification from the country where I came from is not equivalent to the gcse’s. My main goal is to get into uni with nursing. Would there be any opportunities for me?

So I had surgery (bypass) on March 28, 2023. Started at 312 and am currently at 200lb. I've been 200 since January. I get all my protein and watch my portions, but I will have a piece of pizza or a tiny meal of chinese a couple times a month. Don't really count calories or carbs. I definitely dont get enough water, drink way too much coffee with sugar free creamer (that for sure adds up.)
Today I "started over." Counting my protein, but also keeping track of pts (I'm a weight watchers gal, my nurse ok'd it as long as I get my protein.) Im up to 50oz of water so far today. At least 30oz more to go. I had one cup of hot coffee with 2 tbs of creamer and a cold brew made with chocolate protein powder.
I am determined to lose at least 20lb more, but want to feel good over all. I've gone from a 3x to a L/Xl. I'd like to be a M/L.
Goals for this week: 80+ oz h2o daily 2 cups or less coffee 90+ protein 30min exercise x5 days
Posting for accountability 😊❤️ xposted

So I had surgery on March 28, 2023. Started at 312 and am currently at 200lb. I've been 200 since January. I get all my protein and watch my portions, but I will have a piece of pizza or a tiny meal of chinese a couple times a month. Don't really count calories or carbs. I definitely dont get enough water, drink way too much coffee with sugar free creamer (that for sure adds up.)
Today I "started over." Counting my protein, but also keeping track of pts (I'm a weight watchers gal, my nurse ok'd it as long as I get my protein.) Im up to 50oz of water so far today. At least 30oz more to go. I had one cup of hot coffee with 2 tbs of creamer and a cold brew made with chocolate protein powder.
I am determined to lose at least 20lb more, but want to feel good over all. I've gone from a 3x to a L/Xl. I'd like to be a M/L.
Goals for this week: 80+ oz h2o daily 2 cups or less coffee 90+ protein 30min exercise x5 days
Posting for accountability 😊❤️

Hey Reddit,
I've been seeing posts for months and months of people applying to dozens, even hundreds of jobs without hearing back or landing any interviews.
I'm hear to tell you that unless you're networking, you can expect a difficult job search (simply because of the number of job seekers on the market - an average job easily gets over 100 apps these days).
I know "networking" gets tossed around in the comments of a lot of posts, but its importance really can't be overstated. For many folks, it can seem scary or even unnecessary, but understanding what it is and how to do it effectively can make all the difference.
So what is networking?
It's the process of building and maintaining professional relationships that can provide mutual benefits. It's not just about meeting people; it's about connecting with others in your industry or field of interest, sharing knowledge, and offering support.
Why it's important
In my experience, it's one of the most effective ways to find a job. A good percentage of job vacancies are filled through networking rather than traditional job applications. That's because a lot of positions are never advertised; they're filled through word of mouth and personal connections.
Most people believe that networking is only for extroverts or that it's about using people to get what you want. I disagree. Networking is for everyone and is built on genuine, reciprocal relationships. It's not just about what others can do for you, but also about how you can help others.
Interesting stats on networking

• According to Nielsen's 2021 global study on consumer confidence in advertising, 88% of respondents preferred recommendations from people they know over other forms of marketing interactions.
• Invesp's survey found that sales for brands that use word-of-mouth marketing successfully often rise by 5-10% a year.
• 74% of customers agree that recommendations from their social environment affect their decisions to buy.
• 83% of marketers use word-of-mouth marketing because it increases brand awareness.

Benefits of Networking Beyond Job Searching
While finding a job might be your immediate goal, investing some time in building relationships with other professionals offers benefits that extend far beyond the job search process. Example:

• It helps you stay updated with industry trends, learn about new skills, and discover opportunities for professional development.
• Through networking, you can find mentors who can offer guidance, advice, and support as you navigate your career.
• Networking allows you to gain valuable insights into your industry, which can help you make informed career decisions and stay ahead of the curve.

Example of how networking might play out:

Jane, a marketing professional, was struggling to find a new job after relocating to Boston. She decided to attend a local industry meetup where she met several people in the marketing space. One of these connections led to an informational interview, which eventually turned into a job offer. This is an example of networking at work!

There's more than one way to network - find the one that works for you

• Events: Attending events like conferences, job fairs, and industry meetups is a great way to meet new people and expand your network. These events provide an opportunity to connect with industry leaders, potential employers, peers, and others that might share your professional interests.
• Informational interviews: These are casual conversations with people in your field of interest. They allow you to learn more about their career paths, gain insights into the industry, and receive advice on how to advance your own career. It's a low-pressure way to build relationships and gather valuable information.
• LinkedIn: Imo, a really great tool for professional networking. It allows you to connect with colleagues, join industry groups, and follow companies that interest you.
• Forums: There are a ton of online forums and groups for discussing industry trends, share job opportunities, and provide support (this subreddit is one such example).
• Social Media: Platforms like Twitter also offer networking opportunities.

With all of these methods, the goal is the same: to meet people and build your network. Find the one that best suits your personality and goals, and stick to it.
Okay, so where do I start?
Before you start, it's good practice to set a goal - what is it that you want to achieve?

• Do you want to find a job yesterday?
• Are you looking for a mentor?
• Do you want to build your network now so you can lean into it later?

Once you have that down, figure out the best way to achieve it. If you want to find a mentor for example, you probably wouldn't start with random strangers online. Instead, you'd opt for professionals you already know/have worked with (maybe a former boss or colleague?).
I find it best to start with your close circle and then move out from there. So:

1. Family (your dad probably can't hook you up with a job, but maybe he knows someone that works at Lockheed Martin – now you've got you're referral!)
2. Friends (Same as family)
3. Past colleagues and bosses
4. School alumni (having something in common can drive people to want to help)
5. Online acquaintances (LinkedIn, Twitter etc.)

If you run dry, you may also want to check out professional orgs in your field, such as:

• Marketing: American Marketing Association (AMA)
• Technology: Association for Computing Machinery (ACM), Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE)
• Finance: Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) Institute, Financial Planning Association (FPA)
• Human Resources: Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)
• Healthcare: American Medical Association (AMA), American Nurses Association (ANA)
• Engineering: American Society of Civil Engineers (ASCE), National Society of Professional Engineers (NSPE)
• Education: National Education Association (NEA), Association for Supervision and Curriculum Development (ASCD)
• Law: American Bar Association (ABA), National Lawyers Guild (NLG)
• Project Management: Project Management Institute (PMI)

If you plan on contacting people you don't know, it helps to know something about them and try to be as genuine as possible. The more transactional you come across, the less likely they are to help you. Maybe mention that mutual connections you have, shared interests, and explain why you're reaching out. For example, you might say, "I noticed that we both attended Yale University, and I'm interested in learning more about how you got into finance. Would you be open to a quick chat?"
It's not enough to make connections and build a network – you need to maintain it
Networking is not a one-and-done deal. It takes effort to maintain relationships. But, as you build connections, you'll undoubtedly run into the issue of balancing the time you have versus the time you invest in your network.
I'm personally a fan of Steve Dalton's method for tackling this. In his book "The 2-Hour Job Search," he talks about the idea of categorizing people you know into tiers based on their value and the effort required to maintain relationships with them. For example:

• Tier 1: These are high-value connections who can significantly impact your job search or career progression. You're prepared to invest more time in nurturing these types relationships. For example, you might schedule regular check-ins, ask for their advice on important career decisions, and offer your help whenever possible.
• Tier 2: These connections are valuable but not as much as tier 1, and they might not have a direct an impact on your immediate job search. They could be peers in your industry, former colleagues, or people with valuable insights. While you should still maintain these relationships, the frequency and intensity of your interactions might be lower compared to Tier 1.
• Tier 3: These are people who are less directly relevant to your current career goals but can still provide value through broader industry knowledge or by expanding your professional circle. Regular, light-touch interactions such as commenting on their LinkedIn posts, sharing industry news, or attending common events can keep these connections alive without requiring a significant time investment.

Common issues people have with networking
A lot of people squirm at the thought of having to network. After talking to a lot of them, I've found the most common issues to revolve around 4 pain points:

• Afraid of being rejected
• You're a shy or introverted person and talking to people drains you
• You don't get results fast
• You don't have time

To this, I say, start with small, manageable steps. If you're shy for example, maybe you try online networking instead of going to live events. If you don't want to do it because you don't have time, maybe dedicate 1 or 2 hours a week to investing in high value (aka Tier 1) contacts.
And finally, before you get out there...
Practice your elevator pitch! This is a 60-second snapshot of your career (especially if you're networking in person). Your pitch should answer these questions:

• Who you are
• What your professional background is
• What your planned trajectory is

I know I haven't covered all there is to it, but this quick intro should hopefully give you some useful tidbits to get you started. Happy job hunting!

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Hello,
Here’s a quick snapshot of my current financial situation:
Age: 32M, Total CTC for 2024 is ₹52 Lakhs (including ₹15 Lakhs in RSUs), and for 2025, it will be ₹65 Lakhs (including ₹28 Lakhs in RSUs). Monthly Take-home Salary: ₹2.42 Lakhs
Liabilities: 1. Educational Loan: ₹13 Lakhs remaining, monthly payment ₹30k (opting slow repayment for tax benefits). 2. Credit Card Debt: ₹1 Lakh remaining, monthly payment ₹10k. 3. Personal Loan: ₹3 Lakhs remaining, monthly payment ₹17k. 4. Rent: ₹40k per month. 5. Domestic Help: ₹6k per month. 6. Groceries: ₹10k per month. 7. Utilities: ₹5k per month (Wi-Fi, electricity, gas, newspapers). 8. OTT Subscriptions: ₹2k per month. 9. Miscellaneous Expenses: ₹10k per month. 10. Rental Scooty: ₹4.5k per month.
Investments:

1. EPF: 12% employee contribution + 12% employer contribution, totaling ₹35k per month (expected 10% annual increase).
2. ULIP: ₹25k per month.
3. Cryptocurrency: ₹5 Lakhs invested in 2021, now considered a sunk cost.

Family Background:
Father: Retired government official, pension ₹42k per month, savings ₹30 Lakhs. Mother: Nurse, income ₹30k per month, retiring in 2028 with approximately ₹28 Lakhs in retirement benefits and ₹15 Lakhs in savings. Sister: Earning ₹25k per month in a remote role.
Coming to my question’s 1. My parents have sacrificed their entire life on me and my sister’s education, we own a quite a lot of land in my home city (1L+ square feet) but there is no one to look after it as I am in a different city and planning to move to US next year. My parents are currently staying in a company quarter but after my mom retires they will have to move back to my ancestral village which is only 15kms away from where they are currently staying. We currently own a house but it was made in early 2000s. It lacks modern infrastructure and designs. My goal is to make a new house for my parents by the time my mother retires in the next 4-5 years. As per today’s estimate it will cost around 50L+. I was thinking of keeping aside my entire fund generated by ULIP which will be north of 30L by that time and then transfer 70-80k per month for couple of years till the house is done. Is this a good strategy?

1. I am getting RSUs this year which I can use to pay off my edu loan and try to become debt free but because I am also getting tax rebate on the loan should I rather invest my RSUs amount in Index funds/ MF etc to maximise returns?
   
2. I am moving to the US next year as I am marrying my partner who is from the US. In the future should I choose to become a US citizen but also apply for OCI card, given the growth trajectory for India for the next three decades how I can keep investing in India for the best ROI? the goal is to open up a hostel chain in India.
   
3. Currently my partner and I are focusing on our health but we also tends to travel a lot both internationally and in India due to which I am not able to save a lot like most of folks targeting FIRE. I don’t feel the pressure of retiring early nor am I feeling jealous. I am worried that I am loosing motivation to make more money and retire early like others. In my head I feel too content because 10 years ago my CTC was 1/18th as of today. I want to start hustling again but not feeling the urge to. Some advice would be really helpful.
   
4. No plans for buying a house for myself, I don’t own any vehicle nor planning to for the next 3-4 years.
   

Thank you in Advance!!