Hi! I was recently waitlisted to Tulane University (I'm a business major) and am writing my letter of continued interest. I really do like Cornell and want to make sure I have the best possible chances of getting into this university. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on writing a LoCI for Tulane that would help me stand out or give me a better chance of being admitted. Thanks ahead of time!

Bit of a lurker here and sorry for any typos, I am on my phone writing this. I have to be a bit vague on my job description for privacy reasons but I will give you a hint that I work in the housing industry. I am a 30 year old woman. About two years ago, I had to go meet up with a homeowner and inspect the house. I was polite, made light small talk, and got out if there. A few weeks later, I got a friend request from Facebook from the homeowner (he was/is married and he is about 60 or so). I thought it odd and deleted it, as I have no interest. Fast forward two years later, I get a message on my Telegram account with him claiming that he "found" my number in his phone and he mentioned it was saved and thought it was a good idea to talk. He asked how I was, and I gave a vague "I'm ok" response and wished him well. I'm still puzzled as to why he was talking to me and he straight up asked if I was single and if I dated older men. I remembered he was was married and he confirmed that he is but he and the missus are having marriage issues. I tell him that I am sorry he is having issues with his marriage but I am going to decline because trying to get a person to cheat with you is wrong and I will not be a homewrecker. I told him take marriage therapy and wished him and encouraged him to remain faithful to his wife. All the while, he is apologizing for "offending" me. I am angry that this boob thinks I am an easy target to whore around with and that he thinks my character is so bankrupt that I would agree to that. What a dick. And to have the nerve to cheat on your spouse! Is he insane? How morally bankrupt are you that you have to try and cheat on your spouse to try to cheat on her (wife) with someone as old as your daughter (or anyone for that matter)? What a jerk! What did he think he was going to accomplish?

Hi all! First off, so glad this sub reddit exists because it was a life saver when I was making decisions on my own ACLr and knowing what to expect from surgery. I'm a 2x cancer surviver, Paramedic, Rugby player, and now have been a caregiver to my partner who just celebrated 3 months from her own ACLr. I collected a bunch of advice and tips and tricks that I have used both during cancer treatment, my own experience with ACLr, and now through care taking my partner through hers. I know there have been guides before, but mine is a bit different and aimed at caregivers so I thought I'd post it here since ya'll helped me so much instead of it just circulating the rugby community every time a teammate or friend has to have ACLr or some other reconstruction. Hope it's allowed and helps!
A Cancer Patients Guide To Knee Reconstruction Recovery
A Comprehensive Guide To Surviving and Thriving In the Pre and Post-op Period Built From The Perspective of Caretaker and Patient.
Before The Date
__/__/____

Preparation

It is important to adequately prepare for surgery in the weeks and days leading up to the procedure. A significant period of immobility and reliance on support can be expected immediately post-op and will vary by procedure and personal experience. Physical modification of living space and thorough preparation allows for the immediate post-op period to be free of emergency store runs and the small inconveniences that can add up to big frustration. Not having food and drink nearby as well as other essentials may be a small deal now, but can turn into a big deal when you can no longer get those things for yourself. While physical preparation (home modifications, adaptive tools, meal prepping, etc.) are important, mental preparation is crucial to the long term success of the repair. Making small, achievable goals in the immediate post-op period and maintaining a long sighted view of recovery will make the pain and immobility that is initially experienced more bearable. Additionally, social support through a partner, family members, or friends is an essential part of recovery, as is maintaining contact with sports teams or other social groups during rehabilitation.

General PEARLs

• Pre-surgical rehab is an essential part of recovery and can improve immediate outcome so if it is a resource available to you- use it!
• Learn the basics of your procedure such as reconstruction technique, graft type, surgeons recovery timeline, where you will do your rehab, and what you should expect going into and coming out of surgery. Knowledge is power and can give a sense of control and set reasonable expectations in a situation that is otherwise out of your control.
• Seek out positive experiences and recovery stories from other people who have had your procedure and gather as much advice as possible from resources such as ACL. Know that some people will have negative experiences, everyone is an individual, and that much of your long term recovery is in your control.
• Expect and learn to advocate for yourself or the person you are taking care of. Be vocal and honest with any needs you may have and understand that issues may come up in the immediate post-operative time that you as a patient or caregiver may have to contact your surgeon to resolve. Familiarize yourself with who to call and when *before* you leave after surgery, as well as being quick to call with any questions or problems that arise. It is better to be told that what you are experiencing is normal than to sit with the anxiety of the unknown.
• Create a folder with all relevant information: Surgeons name, procedure information, follow-up appointment dates and times, phone numbers, emergency contacts, facility of choice in an emergency situation, and any other important information. Maintain this folder throughout your recovery and add paperwork as it comes.

Days Leading Up To Surgery

• Contact support people and confirm any arrangements that have been made including but not limited to: Who is taking you to/from surgery, child or pet care, transportation to first PT appointments, meals, etc.
• Recommended Items we found essential:
  • Ice Machine (Polarcube, etc) if at all possible
    • Recommend checking facebook marketplace or other second hand options, as they cost hundreds new but can be found for $40 or so used.
    • Studies have shown these do actually reduce pain and lend to earlier mobilisation and our experience has shown this to be essential not just immediately post-op but in the weeks and months afterwards so if you *can* obtain one you absolutely should.
  • Large sweatshirt and oversized shorts for surgery day, especially if you wear a bra, as putting clothes on after surgery can be a struggle and it’s easiest to just throw on a sweatshirt and shorts that fit over your post-op bandages and brace.
    • In particular, we found a blanket hoodie to be very useful both for going home and the first few days as it could stay on when moving around/when napping.
  • Neck Pillow
    • Helps with reading or other activities during long hours spent in bed or on the couch and really helped in the first two days to prevent neck strain and provide head positioning during napping.
  • Large pillows for body positioning and elevation of the leg
    • We found cheap, giant, dog beds from places like TJ Max or Marshalls to be more affordable than specialty products
    • A large, thin, dog bed (or blanket) rolled into a tube and secured with stretch bandage or tape around the surgical leg and brace helped significantly with comfort during sleep so that the leg was padded, comfortable, and the other leg didn’t get roughed up from the brace.
  • A shower chair
    • Can be found used at second hand stores like Goodwill, or cheap online
    • Easy substitute is a chair covered in a trash bag
    • Allowed showering the second day post-op which was a huge mental boost and relieved physical discomfort and achy muscles
  • Extra large leg cast cover
    • Can be found cheap online
    • Placed around outside of brace covering the entire leg initially, we then found it easier to place on the leg and place the brace outside of the cover for the remaining healing period for the incisions: We did this after the first PT appointment when it was safe to take off the brace for short periods while laying down. We acquired a second post op brace from a friend (you can find on eBay for cheap) and it was amazing to have, as we could let it dry after showering and immediately put her post op brace back on.
  • Foldable stool
    • Great for elevating the leg during transfers, while on the toilet, etc.
  • Lap Desk
    • Great for eating on the couch or in bed, but we also found it useful as a side table for holding drinks/meds/remotes/books that could be taken to whatever room they landed in at the time
    • A small table works as well, really just anything that can be used to set things on within arms reach
  • Assortment of sodas, water, seltzers, snacks, etc.
    • There is no way to know what you will want and when, but when you want it it’s nice to *have* it available
    • Appetite often decreases after surgery so make sure to have favourites on hand so that when you *are* hungry you have it immediately before your body changes its mind
  • A big bucket
    • We used a soft plastic beach type bucket from the dollar store, it was extremely useful to have to put small items in, a small towel, a spare water bottle, extra meds, baby wipes, etc.
    • Also doubled as an emergency puke bucket, as you never know when a sudden bout of nausea might hit in the first day or two after surgery
  • Extra reusable ice packs and bags of ice
    • Your home ice maker will not be able to keep up with the demands of constant icing the first week or so
    • Reusable ones are great for ‘hot spots’ and short trips where you can’t take the ice machine
  • Extra steri-strips and assortment of bandages
    • Sometimes there’s extra leakage, sometimes your steri-strips come off and you need to slap a new one on, sometimes you’re allergic to the ones they put on you at the hospital. Always consult a medical professional, but it’s handy to have these on hand just in case.
    • We also used a bulky padded bandaid to keep the brace off the healing incisions once the large post-op dressing was taken off which helped immensely.
  • Compression sleeves
    • Aside from helping with swelling these also provided a layer of protection under the post-op brace
    • We found cheap ones at Wal-Mart (copper brand) but also just bought a cheap pair of leggings a size down and cut off one of the legs to use before getting a more expensive one once swelling had fully subsided after a few weeks. Your leg will change so cheap works great at first, then you can get something a bit more substantial when you know what you’ll need long term. Now she wears high compression socks to sleep 3 months out.
  • Slide on shoes
    • Self explanatory, bending down to put on shoes becomes a chore after surgery. Avoid flip flops or other styles that can become a trip hazard.
  • Baby Wipes/Dude Wipes/etc.
    • Wiping down after you get home from surgery can help prevent that icky feeling and restore some sense of normalcy, then can be used over the next few days before you can shower more normally
  • Lotion and chapstick
    • Hospitals dry out your skin big time, and lips are often cracked post surgery from intubation/LMA placement
  • Small, easily labelled tupperware containers
    • Regular pill containers are too small to hold pain meds, OTC pain meds, anticoagulants such as aspirin, supplements, and edibles or other small things you take with your medication. We got small tupperware boxes with lids from the dollar store.
    • We found it very convenient to have six sets of meds set up and labelled with times which meant we never missed doses and could leave the next dose of meds at bedside, take them with us when going to appointments, and keep up with what had been given and when.
  • Small notebook to record med times and other important information
  • Two extra changes of clothes already setup and ready to go
  • Compression device
    • We are athletes so we already had leg compression sleeves but these days off brand versions can be bought online cheap. Studies have shown these lead to reduced pain, increased mobilisation, reduced the chance of blood clots, and there is even some evidence they help with bone healing.
    • We used it 3 days post op and beyond and her range of motion was significantly improved after the first time.
  • A yoga strap
    • Excellent for strapping to the brace and moving the surgical leg
• If possible, pick up post-op medications prior to surgery to prevent any unexpected delay in obtaining them. If this is not possible, verify that the prescription can be filled the day of the surgery by your selected pharmacy and that it has been filled prior to leaving after your surgery. Controlled substances cannot be transferred to another pharmacy without a new prescription sent directly from the provider. You do not want to be trying to get in contact with a physician in the hours after surgery, unable to manage pain, before the pharmacies close for the night.
• Do a thorough clean of your living area, it will make the time after surgery when you cannot independently do normal activities more bearable and a neat organised space is easier to function in when your body is not cooperating. Take special attention to removing tripping hazards and clearing a wide path from wherever you plan to spend your recovery and the bathroom.
• Plan to spend the first couple of days in one spot and on one floor and set up that area the day before surgery. If you have a downstairs bathroom a floor mattress or well setup couch can be your landing pad until you are more mobile and is the easiest during the immediate post-op period. That being said, if you don’t, it’s easier to get upstairs by sliding up on your bum immediately post-op when your pain is still well controlled than realise that you have no bathroom downstairs a few hours later when the pain has started to set in. Wherever you intend to land, plan on staying there at least a couple of days and bring all your supplies to that area. Plan to lay with your surgical leg on the outside of what you are laying on, this makes transferring easier.
• Have your recovery bed setup the day before surgery and prepared for when you return before you leave the day of, including blankets and your supply table setup.
• Meal prep, whether that means cooking or getting easy to make microwave meals is up to you. You won’t feel like cooking and neither will your caretaker the first few days. High protein, easy to eat meals are key! We had chicken and broccoli casserole, egg and sausage frittata, and lots of applesauce the first few days and it was a lifesaver not to have to think about meals.
• Spend some time mentally preparing for the long haul of recovery and make long term plans that fit within your timeline. For example, we planned to attend a rugby game five days after surgery *but* planned nothing else for that day and the next day. We also planned hiking trips the next fall, and other events appropriate for her timeline along the way that could be looked forward to and keep up morale. Remember that this is temporary and that it is okay to be recovering and resting, expect hard moments and days but keep things planned so you don’t get stuck in those down places.
• Eat your favourite meal and eat well the day before surgery. Your body needs fuel to recover and fasting the day of surgery sucks. As weird as it sounds, after multiple surgeries, the pre-surgery night meal of whatever I want is one shiny thing in a crappy situation to hold on to.
• Plan for what you want your first meal to be and consider making a playlist for the ride to and from surgery. Small things, again, help maintain a sense of control and comfort in a situation where you are largely out of control and these things can be done with friends or support people in the days leading up to reduce anxiety and pass time.
• Hit the gym, take a walk, do a hike, visit places or do things you enjoy but won’t be able to do in immediate recovery! We took my partners knee to one last tournament before her surgery, it helped pass time and kept spirits high.

Day Of And Immediate Post-Surgery Phase

• Maintain fasting starting at whatever hour you are told. Some people can drink clear liquids up to a certain point, others are completely nothing by mouth. Your instructions will guide you on this.
• Before leaving home double check that everything is set up how you need it and place a blanket, pillow, drink, and snack of choice in the car. You may or may not need it but if you do it is important to have. Make sure your ice packs are in the freezer ready to go!
• Bring your own post-op snack if you are picky or have food allergies, otherwise you’re stuck with whatever graham cracker and applesauce combo the facility gives you.
• Go with the flow, or as I always say “surrender”. Feel what you feel, have a cry in the car before you go in, listen to your playlist, bring your blanket or other comfort items into pre-op, tell your support person what’s going through your mind, tell your pre-op staff how you’re doing, ask all the questions, and most importantly just do what you have to do. For some people surgery can be overwhelming and the loss of control frightening, but fighting only makes it worse, so whatever you are just be it. I’m pre-op pacer myself, but some people just snuggle up under some warm blankets and wait. Either way, just let the waves take you where they go and know you’re along for the ride. Remember that future you with a healthy joint thanks you for what you’re doing today.
• Speak frankly with your anesthesiologist and utilise any pain control or anxiety control options given to you. There is no award for least meds taken or toughest patient of the day. If a nerve block is available, know that you can request sedation for its placement, and utilise that option if at all possible.
• Caregivers should bring something to keep them entertained and be prepared for a long period without update once surgery has started. Honour your feelings as well, it can be tough to watch someone you care about go through this! Consider having someone to act as a support person for you as well through text or phone, that way you can divert your own worries or struggles to them and away from the person having surgery while still making sure you are also taken care of.
• Make sure that pain is well controlled before leaving after surgery. You have more options there than you will at home and getting things under control once pain has become unbearable can be very difficult.
• Make sure you note when the next dose of medication is due, what medication they should be taking, and write it down.
• Double check contacts from your surgeons office and add any post op paperwork to your folder in case you need the information later.
• If your post-op meal requires picking up, or your prescription, try and do that immediately after leaving surgery even if you are not hungry yet. This is the most comfortable you will be for a while and your support person will be unable to leave for at least that day and night. I have been known to peruse the big gas station after surgery in search of snacks, my partner however simply waved to the nice people at the drive through and napped the rest of the way home before eating some hours later.
• Once you get home crash wherever you plan on spending the rest of the time. Don’t have friends or family over that first day. Just go ahead and sleep through the rest of the anaesthesia and get comfortable.
• Try and keep your home cool, and consider keeping the room dim for the first few hours if not days. Sleep is precious and pain meds can make you hot, and getting hot can lead to nausea. It is better to have the home cool and the person snuggled under blankets and comfortable than be trying to cool someone down who just had surgery and got too hot and is now dizzy, nauseous, and miserable. The least stimulation for the first little while the better, and naps will happen throughout the rest of the day and over the next few days. A cool, dim place lets this happen much easier than a bright, warm place where they might be overstimulated or awakened by noise or activity.
• If allowed, try and activate the quad muscle immediately after returning home and once every few hours by having them squeeze it and feeling for contraction while in the brace. Some people will be able to begin range of motion exercises immediately and if so, make sure to do them as soon as allowed even if that means just helping them by doing gentle manual range of motion movements in the brace.
• If it’s not already on, begin continuous icing as soon as you come out of surgery either by meticulously timing the replacement of ice packs or with the ice machine. Make sure to check the ice machine, replace ice as often as needed, and keep it on *continuously* for the next few days. For us this meant I checked it at every medication dose throughout the night and added ice during that time as well. We went through frozen mini water bottles and bags of ice like crazy the first week.
• Elevate the surgical leg as high as possible, placing support under the heel and calf but not directly under the knee to promote extension and prevent more headaches with gaining range of motion later on.
  • We found that icepacks directly under the knee helped tremendously with the discomfort associated with this.
• Anticipate that bathroom trips will not be fun or easy and take them extremely slow. As a caregiver allow the person to guide you on what they need and don’t need your help with and avoid grabbing or moving someone unexpectedly. Standing, acclimating to being upright, and then proceeding to the bathroom is the best way to do things and rushing will only result in frustration for both of you. A rolling chair or wheelchair can be helpful, but for some people standing up and sitting down is harder than just moving on to the bathroom. Pay attention as a caregiver and know that it is possible they may need your help getting off the toilet or back from the bathroom so be close by and available should that happen. For the first few days do not lock the bathroom door in case of an emergency.
• Place chairs or things to sit on around your path to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. And consider a small backpack or using a rolling chair to carry items around the house.
• Once you know when your next dose is, set alarms for each time your doses are due. If using the med boxes this makes doing meds and keeping track very easy, as they are each labelled with a time and all we had to do was open the box and take the meds instead of finding each bottle and dosing each med individually each time. As the days went on we were able to re-label and time the boxes as needed and remove meds as needed or adapt to what was needed when sleeping or up during the day.
  • For example day 1 would look like:
    • First post-op doses at 4pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 8pm box: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, 10mg edible, 12.5mg diphenhydramine (itching and sleep), stool softener, and regular night time meds.
    • Midnight box: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 5mg edible.
    • 4AM: 250mg tylenol, 5mg oxycodone, 800mg ibuprofen, edible (if nauseas or restless).
    • 8AM box (preparing to get up): 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, aspirin, stool softener, normal morning meds.
    • 12pm: 250mg tylenol, 10mg oxycodone, 5mg edible, 800mg ibuprofen.
    • Repeated on time, reducing pain med dose as tolerable, and refilling boxes 1x a day.
• If possible do scheduled tylenol (paracetamol) and ibuprofen (or another NSAID), alternating them on the dosing schedule, and take them religiously even through the night. This also goes for additional pain medications, which you will also need to wake to take through the night if you are prescribed for at least the first night.
• Staying on schedule might mean waking up in the night, but it’s better to be awoken to take meds than to wake up in pain and spend several hours trying to get it under control. You may find you seldom need them if your nerve block is in place, or you may just not need very much at all during your recovery. It is easier to trial run this after the first day by stretching out the time between doses from 4 to 6 to 8 and then potentially off entirely, but everyone will have their preferences.
• Eat a small snack with every med dose and keep emergency meds (extra pain med doses, nausea meds, etc.) at bedside as well as the next set of meds due so they can be taken when it is time.
• We found that edibles were a great addition to pain and nausea control after surgery. There are medication options available and having at least one option for nausea is advisable for the first few days after surgery when anaesthesia and medication can really make you want to puke.
• Expect absolutely nothing in the first few days post-op. Some people will feel well enough to move around, others will not be able to do anything but get up to use the bathroom. Expecting nothing is better than expecting more and being disappointed or frustrated. I would highly suggest not making plans until your first follow up 7 or so days after surgery.
• Be obsessive about icing, meds, any PT you have been given, and keeping track of appointments. Give yourself the best start to your recovery that you can and you will thank yourself later!

I am an owner-occupant in a two-family. I live in one unit and rent out the other.
Based on my knowledge of the FHA, it does not apply to me because I live in one unit, and the building has four or fewer units. (side note: I don't use this in any way to discriminate, quite the opposite and am very accepting. I just don't pay much detailed attention to the FHA.) Also, my state has no greater restrictions or law than the Federal FHA.
That said, a situation has come up with current tenants. They are almost 10 months into a 12 month lease. They have two pets, a cat and a dog. As part of the lease agreement, they "paid" a pet security deposit and a very small pet fee. It should be noted that I am aware of damage that one of the animals has already done. As of today, I received a text with an image of a letter from an APRN stating the need for an ESA(s). The letter was not very detailed or thorough (about two sentences long, and I was under the impression that these sorts of letters need to be very detailed, from a doctor only, and be specific to the need as well as a separate letter for each ESA if there is more than one).
I have never been requested to accommodate an ESA or service animal so I am not familiar with the full legal requirements. If the FHA does not apply to me, do I need to accommodate this (i.e. give the pet security deposit back/stop charging a pet fee)? Or, are accommodations required (with no deposit, etc.) even if the FHA does not otherwise apply?
Then, if I do need to accommodate, is a single, non-descript letter from an APRN enough? Or am I allowed to request two separate, detailed letters from a doctor?
Lots of questions, I know. Just trying to get some clarity on the matter to make sure I handle it appropriately. Direct answers would be great, but even suggestions on who I might contact or where to get further info would help. I have already tried to call HUD, but not getting through.
Thanks in advance, and I will try to be responsive to questions if anyone has any.

Hi,
My name is Thasnim Begum (F). I'm twenty-eight and I live in England, near London. I love arts and crafts, days out, nature and the great outdoors. I'm a big bookworm, and absolutely love tea, rain and chocolate! I'm self-confessed shopaholic (shop till I drop, that's me!) and I love a good bargain and meeting new people! I love writing letters, with a wax seal of course with lots of goodies.
I'm an undergrad at The Open University and I graduate this year! I study an Open Degree where you can study a mix and match of subjects to make yourself a customised degree. Class of 2024, that's me! I'm beyond excited, cap and gown, here I come!
I'm also a proud Muslim and I am very accepting of people of other faiths and backgrounds and love to learn about different faiths and cultures. We can talk about life, love, death and everything in between, I love a good natter!
All are welcome here :)
A stranger is a friend you haven't made yet, that's what I always say.
Message/comment if you're interested!
Can't wait to hear from all of you.

I recently received some feedback from an agent, who said my first few pages lacked a strong voice. I’m aware that Query Letters need to have a strong voice to snag the agent’s attention, but until now, I didn’t think my MC’s personality had to ‘bleed’ into the manuscript as well. It doesn’t help that I’m a very subdued and serious person in real life (this isn’t a brag, it’s honestly very problematic), and I suppose that has reflected in my writing so far. I think I’m starting to realize a MC with my kind of “voice” won’t appeal to literary agents and readers at all, however interesting my plots are. Am I correct in arriving at this position?
I suppose my other question is this: if I’m writing a YA novel (I am), am I supposed to infuse the narrative to make a teenager bleed through the pages? Is this different from, say, writing the story while mimicking a teenager’s writing style? Hope this question isn’t stupid but I’m genuinely stumped regarding this issue and have never read books consciously thinking about their “voice.” For me, the plot has always been the only thing that mattered in a story (at least consciously).
Also, any resources on how to naturally develop a “voice” would be much appreciated.
Thank you.

Over the weekend, I went to my friend's new place. He's my best friend and we were neighbours for over 15 years. So I am already not too thrilled about it but I get it. It's completely fine.
The new place is a mess of boxes and all. My mate, let's call him Nate, knows that I'm not very handy in working with my hands. Pun intended. I can't bolt a screw or hammer a nail or drill a wall. I actually dislike all of that. A childhood thing. So he never asked me for my help. I'm more of a letters guy. I help him out with buearucratic stuff, permits, emails, computer stuff. That is my area and he gets it. We're totally cool about that.
A couple of our friends show up who are exactly what you need to hang the posters and assemble a shelf. Handy guys. One of them, Moe, as soon as he walks in and I haven't seen him in a long time. (Though, I recently helped him with some writing stuff up and such and he was very happy with the results) and starts berating me. "You've gotten fat, you're getting dumb" that kind of banter. I never appreciated it but sometimes I laugh it off if it is done in good spirit.
Now, I visited my friend early morning after I finished my graveyard shift so I'm pretty knackered and Nate knows that I can fall asleep on his couch at any given moment. That's completely fine.
So while Moe is cranking up the measuring tape and pencils and such, I'm falling asleep. I figure it is time to get back home. But he keeps piling on. "You're a useless bum, you can't even drill a hole in the wall" and other stuff like that.
It felt different from previous times. It felt disrespectful. Nate and the other guy are just laughing it away. I grabbed my keys and headed to the door. Moe rushes to me arguing that I shouldn't go, he was joking. It was just banter.
But I didn't want to engage him anymore. I told him it's fine. I just need to get home and sleep it off. He grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving. Nate came out and asked me to stay a bit. But I wasn't having any of it. I really dislike this childish locker room crap. I never engage in it. I ended relationships and friendships before over such things.
I asked Nate to lock the door behind me and I left. Nate and I have nothing between us. We're best mates. We talk everyday. But Moe didn't get back to me even though he showed a bit of remorse towards the end. Maybe his ego won't let him. But as far as I'm concerned, let bygones be bygones but I don't want to hear that crap again. Our friendship depends on it. It also made me relectunt to visit Nate in the coming future. It felt like such a negative environment to be in. It felt emasculating if I'm frank. Oh, and we are all in our late thirties. So I figured I didn't need to hear that crap in my age. I didn't have the patience for it.
Was I the asshole in this?

I’m in the market for a new job. Due to the shortage where I live, it’s very easy to find a job. I applied for 4 jobs I was interested in. Job 1: This place called me back to let me know they were “on hold” for the posted position but had another, much less desirable, position available. If I took that job then I’d be promoted to the job I actually applied for within “a few months”. Hard pass. They still haven’t pulled the job posting for the job that doesn’t exist. Job 2: Job was posted for adult care. Interviewer called and told me it switched to pediatric and was now 10k less. Job 3: I applied for 4x10 full time days because that’s what the job posting described. They offered 4x8 part time instead. Job 4: I received a request for an interview but it’s a 1 sided video interview where I don’t get to ask questions. Hard pass. How do I even know this is a real job?
What is going on with employers out there? Have we just resorted to blatant lying to attract applicants?

Hello, I'm submitting my application for ILR SET(M) in a few days and I'm really stressed I've missed something crucial. I would really appreciate if someone could check through my document list.
Application documents

• Passport
• Passport Pages
• Expired Passport
• Expired Passport Pages
• Signed Family Consent Part 1 & 2
• Signed Spouse Declaration

Indentification/Travel History

• Partner's British Passport
• My Biometric Residency Card
• My Previous BRP
• Email copies of all flight itinerary over past 5 years

Other

• Marriage Certificate (UK)
• Life in the UK Test Pass Confirmation
• Statements of Support

Finances

• My employment contract
• My letter from my employer
• My payslips (12 months)
• My stamped bank statements (6 months)
• My digital bank statements (12 months)
• My most recent P60s
• My promotion letter and pay award letter
• Partner's employment contract
• Partner's letter from my employer
• Partner's payslips (12 months)
• Partner's stamped bank statements (12 months)
• Partner's most recent P60s
• Partner's promotion letter

Accomodation

• Mortgage Agreement
• Mortgage Statement
• Land Registry Title
• Latest Council Tax Bills
• RICS Home Survey (Level 3)

Cohabitation (2.5 years from Dec 2021 to June 2024, is the spacing okay?)

• Council 1 Tax Bill (Previous Address - April 2022)
• Joint Bank Statement (Previous Address - August 2022)
• Council 2 Tax Bill (Current Address - January 2023)
• Joint Bank Statement (Current Address - June 2023)
• Water Utility Bill (Current Address - November 2023)
• Water Utility Bill (Current Address - February 2024)
• Miscellaneous Correspondence (in case more evidence is needed)

Any help or advice is appreciated. I'm mostly worried about the accomodation requirement, there's nothing in my mortgage documents that details what kind of house it is which is why I included the survey, but that survey document is more than a year old now.

Hey! I’m a 21-year-old female from Germany. I applied in March for a change of status from J1 to F1. I completed the entire process with my DSO. I already had my biometrics appointment but am still waiting for my decision. I've been feeling very anxious because I’m scared of being denied. I’ve read that many people also write a statement letter in addition to the application, which I didn't know about because my DSO did not tell me. Should I add it, or should I just leave my application as it is and wait? I just want to make sure that I won’t have any issues because I did not add any additional evidence. I only submitted the documents that were required from me

Hello! I know that we are allowed to edit sources or request wikipedia changes, but i recently got into art & writing & whenever I look up my character with my title, the AI generates something else from another artist with a completely different genre, artstyle, etc., from me & puts her personality based off if a character with a similar name. Before AI, this never happened & i was always able to see my work on the front page and now i feel like AI is shadowing people. I want to be able to request a change

It might be a bit of a strange request, but I am wondering what peoples genuine opinion/impression of me is. Maybe my introvertedness/shyness is not the problem afterall with my lack of finding people that want anything to do with me?
I know there is a lot of kind souls on here that are far more harsh on themselves than they are with others, but you have my permission to tell me your honest opinion without having to feel bad about that. I am willing to return the favor for anyone that might wish that as well.
If you DM me, please introduce yourself a little! It would be helpful if you could write your age/gender etc and/or more relevant things. Also If you are attracted to men (dont have to be), and comfortable to share, briefly mention what your "type" is. It would potetially be helpful in context with your opinion of me. Thank you.

Recently I had someone send me a contract.no prior messages or anything.They then wanted a video chat and I explained that I like to go over what they actually need and want then outline all expectations. They act like this is just an interview. I then get an email saying they are going to send me an offer letter. Two weeks go by with no contact. I've requested access to QBs so that I can at least figure out what they need on my own. Nothing.
They have mentioned they have full time jobs, this will be flexible and no certain times that I needed to be available. I've made it clear that I have a full time job and do this on the side multiple times.
Friday afternoon they send an offer letter to my email then I don't get access until around 11pm Sunday night. This entire time they know I have a regular full time job. Monday they want a video chat while I'm physically at work. I explained this was never mentioned and that its not OK because this is not flexible when you have a regular job. My regular job is not OK paying me to video chat with this guy. I am pretty annoyed. I finally tell him look I'm not leaving my 6 figure a year job and made that clear from the start. I am not able to video chat with you while I am supposed to be working another job. Their response is work where you want when you want.
Then today all day long the same thing. Veey clear that this is not flexible.
I've sent emails they say they don't receive but they did because they have read requests. I'm about to say look I don't want to do this anymore because you aren't listening to me. He says it's not a good fit because he didn't get my emails. OK good, I agree. Tell the next person exactly what you want please. He then starts sending ignorant text messages. At this point there's been an Upwork contract since May 1st either no work completed.
I told them that I was not going to be able to continue this contract because it's very clearly not going to work. My best guess is that their regular full time jobs are completely remote so they are able to do multiple jobs at once?
Just all around bad communication and extremely unclear. I had no desire to put up with the ignorant remarks this guy started texting me.
So now do I end the contract? Do I leave true feedback? Do I just do nothing?
There is a second guy involved, do I need to email him and explain why I am ending the contract? I'm only 6 months into this and I don't want to ruin anything but ice had such amazing clients that I can't for the life of me understand how this even happened.
What's my best move here ? I have proof with all of the first guys messages and having to block him but I have wonderful clients and don't want anything bad on my account for literally trying to accommodate someone who changed what rhey wanted without saying anything. Including that yesterday was my start date? Again, not worth the maybe 10 hours a week no matter how high the rate.

I own a few shares in a US-based company (TRNS) that gained significantly after a recent earnings report run-up. I was thinking about writing covered calls on it to protect those gains, but was surprised that there don't seem to be any options available for it. Why would this be? The stock is certainly more than high enough in market cap ($1.25B), there are almost 9 million shares in the float (so plenty of liquidity), and < 3% of the shares are held by insiders (so not question of insufficient public ownership).
Could it be the company itself is not allowing there to be options available, or is it just a question of market interest? If the latter, where does an investor go to request or at least express desire for options to be made available on a particular ticker?

I'm reaching out for some advice/guidance regarding my job search situation after a challenging last year or so. I guess I start by saying that this will be a long post.

1. I finished a contract job early last year. After spending a significant amount of time on the resume (first time i did so largely on my own, took a better part of a few months trying to figure that out). I started applying online around the summer and I was getting interviews, but it didn't go anywhere (got close twice, getting to the third round, but still nothing).

Long story short, It got to the point where this year, i needed to move back in with family because i didnt want to go into debt. Now, there telling me to apply to the CRA and do the situational judgement test, and then everything will be fine and you could apply to any job.
Ignoring how incredibly competitive those roles must be, there's likely a high probability that I don’t have the years of experience for that (have basically around 2 years in several roles) that I dont see, with my employment gap and despite me doing volunteer work right now how even if i do the situational judgement test, that it could be remotely worth the effort.... Is this in any way realistic? Anyone familiar with what the process is actually like applying for jobs at the CRA?

1. My interviewing skills are weak. I've made careless mistakes as I look back on some interviews i've done. I've thought about going to the university i graduated from and asking for help, however, I always felt that interview prep was more suitable after getting the request for the interview from the employer, meaning you have a few day notice at best.

Each job description/job your applying for is different so your preparation will be different each time. Is there a place any of you went to in order to get help with interviews? Has general interview preparation worked for you?
I've practiced with family/friends before many times, but it hasnt really helped because the issue is and its hard to explain, but its hard to simulate an actual job interview with people your familiar with because the nerves aren't there for me.

1. At this point, I view advice like "apply online", "keep applying" given my unemployment gap is longer then a year, that advice feels like a wasted effort right now, I've tailored and altered my resume slightly, changing job titles, the beginning profile summary so it aligns better with jobs i've applied for so many times, I have so many different versions of my resume saved on my computer.

I had finally decided last month, to change my strategy and given that I had to move back in with family, I looked more toward volunteer work, as an easier way to cover up an employment gap, and an easier way to gain work experience right now. I started a non-paid volunteer role last month (thankfully, no interview required, just orientation process). This felt like a realistic option, but its a non-paid volunteer role. That very obviously wont work long term, and thats why I'm looking for general advice here on what to do next.

1. I've contacted agencies. Robert Half, Recruiting in Motion, Altis Technology are the ones where I have actually get responses back. However, i guess it comes back to the interviewing skills issue where maybe I'm just not showing enough energy during those calls. Which is why, going back to #2, If anyone has tips or resources that helped them improve their interview skills beyond practicing with family and friends, I'd greatly appreciate any advice you can offer.
   
2. I'm also signed up with YMCA's Employment Services through Employment Ontario. I recently did that, so its to early for me to say whether they'll be any benefit from it.
   
3. In terms of networking, I went through a significant amount of mental and physical health issues during my time in university. One of my regrets during that time was not being able to do, what your supposed to during that time which was network/build connections. I was in no shape to remotely think about working and doing school work at the same time. I tried that once during the summer time one year and I was really struggling , and I was only doing 2 courses during that semester. I’m far better now compared to before, but its more that, now that I’m out of school. I’m not sure where to start with that. ________________________
   

Thank you to anyone that might have took the time to actually read all of that. For some reason, I feel better after writing it.

I had to move across the state for a job last year, and therefore had to early terminate a lease at my townhouse. The termination fee was around $2,700.
I tried to log on and pay this on the property management portal, and it said I could no longer pay online. I emailed the leasing office and asked them how I could pay, and they told me that I had a $0.0 balance. That was the last email I’ve received from them.
I recently received a debt collection notice almost a full year after the email and my move. I disputed the notice and called the leasing office and they’ve told me that they don’t know what happened on their end when the email was sent, but I owe the money and I should’ve known about it.
I’m getting married in a couple months and any money that I had for move out costs (including the assistance from my employer to help me move) is gone.
Does the email in this instance help my argument, regardless of what they are now trying to tell me? Am I supposed to get notices from the apartment prior to receiving a debt collection letter? The last correspondence before the letter was that I owed $0. I’m not sure how to proceed. The leasing office said that they would talk to the debt collection agency about it because “it was out of their hands”. That seems wrong because it’s them that filed the claim.
Thanks in advance.

Hi, I have diagnosed severe anxiety. I take meds for it and I have a doctor I see monthly to monitor me. I have also gotten two poodles to help with the anxiety of living on my own. Can my doctor write and Esa letter for both of them or can I just have one Esa? I’m located in Oklahoma

Context, last year I was head over heels for a girl who put little to no effort into the relationship in return, I was conflicted by her actions and our experiences all the while i was reading 1984 by George Orwell. I wrote this at a desk in a school hallway in isolation.
Genre: General essay?
14.5.24
To my love,
I’m stuck sitting in isolation with absolutely nothing to do. I’ve crammed so much of 1984 into my head that I’ll need to push some of it out. 1984 is a lot to read. Maybe it’s the way I read it or maybe it’s the pacing but sometimes I'll be reading it and find myself relating to it in a way. A quote stuck with me;”He pulled her round so that they were breast to breast; her body seemed to melt into his.” It reminded me of way back in the abandoned Asda stairwell when I melted into her- semi-conflicted between love and lust. After the stairwell got closed off; I felt as though I had lost a part of me too. I even found another stairwell but I knew it wouldn't be the same. It would feel forced, like how I turned her into me so that we could face each other. Sure it wasn’t with the intention of making out but it wasn't thought through first- almost impulsively. In1984, a couple pages later, it speaks about the kisses turning hard; unlike the smooth, butter-like melt they were before. I can feel that. It’s almost vivid. I feel as though after the thing with Austin, everything kinda crashed. When [NAME] had red hair, it was almost like she was infatuated with me. When she dyed it back to normal, I felt as if I had lost that. I could be delusional but when she said she hated who she was with the red hair, it kinda stuck with me. Overall, It’s very on-off. One moment I find myself fantasizing about marriage; the next, I see myself breaking up with her on the horizon. But after that first DM on insta, I promised myself it wouldn’t be a repeat of everyone else, she wouldn’t be a lesson or a test, she would be the practical, the real fucking thing. The one who kept me up at night simply with the thought of her. Is it bad if I relate to WInston? Lost and conflicted within society and using writing and reading as a means of escape. It isn’t necessarily illegal but the stuff I write feels like it could be critiqued in a way that makes it resistant- pushing against the normal methods of writing. Actually, I despise Winston. He let temptation overcome him. Sure, his environment may have dictated him into fantasizing rape but I still think that shit’s inexcusable. He still thinks fondly of it afterwards when having sex as well. Orwell is so fucking good at writing though. How can someone write so vividly that I have to stop, think and reflect upon my life and experiences. I think I’ll show [NAME]this paper. I’m not 100% sure she’ll read it; my feelings tend to be insignificant to her. But if someone wrote something about me, I’d be ever-so-curious to find out their perspectives. I also find it quite funny how Winston blabbers on to Julia about death but she abruptly shuts him up. Maybe that’s why she wanted me to read it (I need to stop yapping about death in situations where it’s uncalled for). When I write this, it’s like I’m texting her but she isn’t texting back. Or it’s like when I say something drunk with the drowsiness of fatigue and she reads it in the morning and that shit doesn’t hit the same AT ALL. I still remember when she was in Nottingham and we called the entire night. A part of me hopes that next time she calls (if she even does) we will get back into the swing of things and we can rebuild that bond. But for it to happen, I need to take a step back and stop being so fucking high maintenance. I’m constantly writing. My head has an endless flowing dialogue of words waiting to be scribed but not all of them do. Sometimes it feels like i feel too much; I feel so much; so much so that it numbs me to feeling. I’m not sure if you can relate but it’s like bubble wrap almost. Pumped up with feeling, any other emotion bounces right off. Or like a mental paracetamol, that kind of numbness. When [NAME] said that paracetamol burns holes in your stomach; I guess that's why when I feel numb, the words pour right out. Mental paracetamol should be a coined term. I feel like Shakespeare when I say that. Actually, right now, I feel like I’m in a void, a medium almost. A confined corner; trapped by the constant sounds of expensive dress shoes slamming against the hallway floors. I hope she reads this. I hope anyone reads this. I am seeking attention even in solitary confinement. I guess it’s inevitable for “just another kid with ADHD''. I think I’d like to write a book for her. Not in a puppy love-esque way; instead to make something she can enjoy. I’d have to binge a fuck -tonne of feminist literature to make it work. I’d have to live, breathe and regurgitate Sylvia Plath just to make something enjoyable for her (I’m kidding of course). (Not really). I’ve written so much- this could probably count as a fucking book. I’m not sure where she would even find the time to read this. She’ll probably lump it alongside the Smint container (filled with poems for her) to read when we break up. I think perspective changes a lot about a book. It’s not entirely how a book is written; instead, it’s about how you approach it or how you are introduced to it. I’ve been very pessimistic and pushy-away-ey recently. Regardless, I won’t cross anything out unless it’s a typo. I think it indirectly shows progression of a character especially when it’s in the form of hypophora almost. I want to write the best book ever and then die and have no-one read it. I think that's more significant than writing a shitty book and campaigning and promoting and all this consumerist bullshit. If you were proud of your work, you wouldn’t promote it, you would let it find its reader. For me, I’d put it in those tiny bird box community libraries that no one uses. Therefore, if someone craved my work, they could find it in a place they wouldn't look for it. Not for my book to gather dust on a tall decorative bookshelf. This is a bit of a rant i know. SOmetimes I’ll yap and let the words flow instead of actively writing them. Writing words is the worst way to write. You need to apply emotion and let the words unravel themselves. At least, that’s how I write, critique it however the fuck you want. I was once told that my writing is like a conversation- you know the ones where the other person keeps blabbering and you can’t get a word in. I don’t read enough to know if it’s unique or not but I know why I do it. It’s like I’m conversing with myself. I might throw a name in there or add some direct address. This might be breaking the fourth wall a bit but i guess the entire nature of this essay is. I need to read over my writing one day- I hate to do it but I think I’d learn a lot about myself if i did so. My writing feels a little bit lost at sea. It’s very jumpy from one topic to the next- like scrolling on tiktok. Also, I think there's a mix of me searching for empathy via slight victimization and undertones of slight narcissism. I’m probably over analyzing but I like my writing. Me personally, i get lost in the labyrinth of the lines and curvature of the letters. Will i regret writing so much? I mean sure, I guess a part of me will live on forever in my writing. But, then again, it’s wasting my life. I’d like to live- living is not writing. Living is not reading. To live is to experience with every sense possible. If I see, I am not living. If i smell, I am not living. But, to hear, to smell, to feel, to see and to taste simultaneously is to live. When living isn’t enough, I can understand why people resort to reading and writing. It’s ever-so-simple. I wish I can see [NAME] soon though. I’ll wish for it at 22:22 if i have to. Or on a shooting star. Or maybe even on a stray eyelash. I miss you[NAME]. I was going to say “I crave you” but that’s too sexual and comes with a million connotations. Saying “I require you” is too formal and needy. I think I should stick to the usual. What if i didnt say “I miss you” but instead I said “I miss your warm and enveloping embrace.” Maybe then she would text back.
This is fucking delusion,
From yours truly,
Raffy

Hi,
I have an upcoming interview in July at the Swedish embassy in Washington D.C. for my application for a residence permit (to move to someone in Sweden). My partner and I have been married for 2.5 years and sambo for 10 years before that (in the UK). We have been living in the US together for the last 20 months as she received an EU grant to be here for 2 years and then in Finland from October. Because of this I think I'm fine for the cohabitation/marriage certificate documents they are requesting. I am not too sure about the intent to settle in Sweden requirements for the interview and was wondering if anyone has any experience of this.
My partner and I are both post-doctoral academic researchers. I am currently employed at a university in the US with the intention to continue in this employment remotely (the US university will either employ me through Sweden or I will become a self-employed contractor), until I find a position in Sweden (I've applied for a grant with some Swedish colleagues, but won't hear back for a while and was advised by a migration lawyer not to include this in the application). My partner is in the process of getting approval from the Finnish institution to work remotely in Sweden, if this is not possible for some reason she will look to move the grant to a Swedish institution. She is also beginning discussions with a Swedish institution to apply for the next career stage research grant based at their institution.
So what sort of level of commitment are they looking for? They've requested acceptance for studies, employment contract, plans for accommodation or other obligations in Sweden. I have no need for further study in Sweden, employment contract also doesn't seem possible. I could maybe get a letter from my Swedish collaborators stating that they will look to apply for grants with me when I arrive in Sweden. I can maybe share some of my partners email conversations with the Swedish institution to demonstrate that she is beginning to establish a more permanent presence in Sweden. It also seems a bit difficult to arrange an apartment in Sweden while we are living in the US, I was advised that a contract of < 1 year would not be that helpful but not knowing when the approvals would come through I think it's difficult to commit to paying rent in both the US and Sweden.
Finally we've not been asked about our financial situation at all in the process so far. When we left the UK we moved our assets to Sweden and so can demonstrate that we can support ourselves financially for the 2 year period they require. Would this be sufficient to demonstrate intent (i.e., we've put all our money in Sweden)?

Hello,
Maybe that question will sound absolutely stupid for some people but it really means much to me and since I don’t want to fall into innovations (bid'a) I would like to have a clear answer.
I have this habit to talk to Allah when I’m in sujood or just in whatever I do but I also write letters to Him, sometimes I just can’t put what’s inside my hearts with my voice so I write, but I wanted to know if it’s haram.
Jazak Allahu khayran