Cool ways to say happy birthday on facebook

Just writing this for the girls who haven't finished laser yet- I've noticed recently during my in btwn periods of laser, which are about 6 weeks apart, I start to struggle with self perception and seeing my changes and have even had panic attacks over backsliding progress, remasculinization, etc when I know my progress is going in the right direction.
The tiny pixels of hair and the patterns they create on our faces play a huge role in whether we are recognizable to others as female and in my case (and i'd wager many others), whether we see ourselves that way, too. So I wanted to provide some advice and a makeup tip to get through those rough spots:
-DO LASER. Do not delay on this. If you haven't started transitioning but know you're going to, get that head start. Don't save it for your transition. It sucks and will make u look more masc the entire way thru till its done. If you haven't started and you're already on HRT, get it going girl. Groupon if you can, it's very cheap on there.
-Skin care: make sure to treat your skin kindly if you're shaving a lot, make sure you are moisturizing and doing whatever your skin needs to stay happy while subject to repeated shavings. We tend to shave more than cis guys and have much more delicate skin. Rough skin has a similar effect to beard shadow, it looks tense and unfeminine.
-Makeup tip: A lot of makeup tutorials will tell u to use a color corrector under foundation. That's cool if you want to wear a full face of makeup but if you rather go for a natural look and just spot correct, u can use some red or orange color corrector (depends on your complexion) and just put a little bit of it on the shadowed area in small dots, with dots of the concealer right next to them. Blend the two together while applying and you will get a more natural skin-like color than your concealer *over* corrector would look like. Red pigment can overwhelm concealers at times so if it's super pink after doing this, just dot in a little more concealer and blend it together. Work in minimal amounts and don't put anything on too thick.
For me, this little trick has allowed me to walk around outside with essentially no makeup besides little spot corrections, which is really helpful if you're just trying to get out and go about your day rather than worry about tons of makeup stuff.
P.s. if you wanna keep your shadow or don't care at all, that's cool too! Everyone's transition looks different. I just know that when it comes to my own perceptions and dysphoria, when my shadow is coming in it scrambles my brain and it sucks.

This isn't necessarily what I think they will do, or what I hope they might do, just a little interesting scenario I cooked up in my head that I thought was cool and wanted to share with yall.
So this story would take place about a year or maybe two after the events of Valhalla (spoilers incoming by the way).
Kratos has been working to establish himself as a god of war who fights for peace, like Týr. One night, he gets a vision of someone from a far off land, begging for his help. He tells Freya he's off to a land called Egypt, and she decides to stay behind as she's got her hands full with the council. Atreus is either still searching for the giants, or is off on some other adventure. Mimir goes with him because, well, what else is he gonna do?
When he gets to Egypt, he's caught up in a fight with generic ancient Egyptian monster (sorry I'm not very familiar with Egyptian mythology; I just know the basics) and he's in a tight spot when he's saved by a large falcon that swoops down on his enemies and transforms into a young man, about Atreus' age. Afterwards, he introduces himself as Horus the Younger, and says he's the one who summoned Kratos.
Horus' father, Osiris, has been killed by his uncle, Set. Osiris was the Pharoah, or king of the gods, and Set wants to usurp him. Horus needs Kratos' help to get his father back from the Duat, the Egyptian afterlife, so Osiris can defeat Set.
Horus then becomes Kratos' new companion, filling the role previously taken by Atreus and Freya. In turn, Kratos takes a liking to the young god, seeing a lot of his son in Horus, and begins mentoring him in much the same way.
When they finally get to the Duat, they find that Osiris has now been made ruler of the dead, and as such, is incapable of leaving. Osiris tells his son that he must defeat Set himself, and become the new Pharoah.
From here, I'm not really sure where it would go, other than Kratos and Horus teaming up to defeat Set. Kratos would kill Set, but the consequences would be dire. In Egyptian mythology, balance must be upheld, and killing Set would create an imbalance, which would allow Apophis, the serpent prophesied to swallow the sun and destroy the world, to return. This would set up the next game, and give Kratos room to grow as he atones for his mistake in killing Set.
Again, I'd like to say that this was just a fun lil theory I cooked up and wanted to share. Personally, I'd prefer to have Atreus and Freya along for the ride, but unfortunately I don't think that's in the cards. Let me know if you liked this and feel free to add on to the story. I toyed with the idea of Thrud accompanying Kratos to Egypt and him mentoring her, but ultimately I liked the Horus angle more.

i just turned 15 years old, my birthday was just basic nothing cool. but besides the point, the last month~ i’ve had 0 motivation and excitement for anything. yesterday i was hanging out with some of my friends and i was completely drained after less than an hour. i just couldn’t be bothered to do anything, i went home shortly after and i felt empty. i couldn’t bring myself to do anything not even school today, i was so unmotivated to do anything i told my mom i was sick to get out. in school too i can’t be motivated to do anything more than the bare minimum, idk if this is because it’s almost the end of the year or something else. but my grades are still fine, with mostly low B’s. after school, i jusy get home, lay in bed, and just lie there until i have to do it again. everyday jusy a single race to the fucking weekend. also, idk if i should’ve said this earlier, but in my “friend group” i’m kinda the odd one out almost always, if a hangout isn’t at my house, i probably wasn’t invited. i don’t know why, because i’m not rude to them, or treat them differently as each other. it’s just like im never there, i often feel ignored such as during lunch i’m talking and someone just fully talks over me not caring at all and i’m jusy there sitting. i don’t have any “true loyal” friends, and sometimes it does bother me, i wish i could have some people i can call real friends that i trust. but i just don’t. my parents always are pushing me to do things that i don’t want to do at all. like going to the gym and having friends over. i don’t like having friends over at all, the only time it ever happens is when i’m sort of forced to and then i still feel like the one lefy out. besides the friend part, i’ve felt really just hollow inside of that makes sense. nothing really seems to bother me much, nor do i care enough to do somethijg about it. it’s like i’m just there, no big role or anything important but jusy there. it’s caused me to lash out sometimes, yesterday my mom was just asking me what i wanted for dinner, (i love her she’s the nicest) and i just didn’t care at all to answer and kept on my way up the stairs. i didnt realize what just happened until a few hours later. but back to my hangout with my freidns yesterday, i was fine and just chilling until around 45 mibures we were watching a baseball game and i just kept putting my head down, partially because i was tired, but i was just drained inside to do the minimum. it was like i was on a timer for socializing and the. it just ended within an instant, i’ve kinda have felt like an otwice for the last 2 years ish ever since i stopped getting invited to things, i don’t know why, in the last peobably 9 months i’ve been out to a friends house 4 times, and 3 of those times was because i lied and said i couldn’t host. when i definitely could my parents LwYs have been pushing me to have people over especially for the last 2 months ish, i’m not currently in a sport and she thinks i’m jusy rotting my life away. that’s really it. apologies for grammar and spelling errors. i just had to tell this to someone, i don’t have anyone i trust enough to admit this too. any reply is appreciated.

The day is as hot as any other, but now that my body has come to expect it, I slip on a shirt, plus my beaded necklace, head out to the commons, sprawl in the grass, make like a solar panel and feel inspired. The heat is like a warm round of applause, and I begin reading Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice about mindfulness, happiness and impermanence, its adjacency to the lived experience of heaven on earth, which is more than enough incentive to cause an average summer reading program to really take off. Mindfulness is easily achieved on a day like today – really? challenge the clouds – the clouds are having dreams of being clouds, like each cloud has an aura, which is also made of cloud but wispier, resulting in a sky that dreams of being sky. Maybe the sky is the illustrious career of whoever painted the clouds onto it. They urge the mind to take a breather.
So I try to keep my eyes on the page, and for a few minutes that goes great, but then something tickles my neck, and a minute later, something tickles my wrist, a minute after that, something prompts me to imagine the feminine spirit of nature gently grazing my scalp with a fingertip, as though moving concepts around in my head by force of will, and my experience of time does change – I can feel it – and that present-tense notion of time seems to corroborate the story that vacant commons areas on a sunny spring afternoon aren’t really vacant at all. In point of fact, if the whole place were crowded with people, it wouldn’t much budge an expert’s estimate of the total life already there – average natural abundance is so awe-inspiring to begin with. There are half a billion blades of grass, for instance – I did the math. Who knows how many million ants.
Something tickles my shoulder – I mindfully stop what I’m doing, brush myself off, check out a tiny beetle bug with an orange spot on its back that landed in my lap. A black ant longer than my thumbnail charges down my pant leg. A plant-hopper stops on my knee, and it is a shade of green impossible to believe, a brightness that glows. It adjusts its direction ceremoniously, like it’s consulted some interior atlas of becoming, then leaps away. In the grass on a day like today, the mindfulness tends to find you, and I know the longer I sit there, the more likely I will be to never get up – to get lost in the crowd of life, which at this time of year is surging upward and outward and downward, even as its making trillions of babies to sail through the air. I watch a seed-dreaming-of-seeds levitate above the grass, climb over the treetops, vanish in the clouds.
If humanity has a brilliance unobserved, I nominate our ability to turn the life of potential into the lived existence of the actual – we do it all the time, compulsively even, a term of agreement practically, with occurrence in all its forms. With every breath and wheeze, every eye blink and heartbeat, every ideation of color, form, and sequence – we are self-conscious standard bearers of the present. Or so we would like to believe – the clouds above are panoramic to a degree that gives the stuff of the earth, just being the stuff of the earth, the starring role no matter who we get to stand in front of them, how many skylines we erect. The clouds seem nude in a way, like their striking dramatic poses for the students to sketch with sticks of charcoal. These aren’t the sort of clouds that make it rain, at least not on us. They seem intent on foreseeing the future.
Can clouds do that? If the mind is a kind of cloud, then of course they can, though what follows is soon followed by a desire to shape the future, at which point the clouds check the time, gaze off into the distance, then hurry on, all of which is plenty true of the human mind. Hey, what’s for dinner? I make red beans and rice for the umpteenth time in my life, set the pot to boil, then forget about it, which is an instance of learned incompetence in that, when I finally remember to set the timer, I always end up leaving the pot on the stove ten-minutes too long, and that causes the bottom layer of rb-and-r to caramelize, which deglazes itself when the food cools, and the resulting dish is so substantial – so actualized of its potential – that being mindful of my eating is a pleasure – the rice’n’beans, the parts like hash browns – they rise to my lips like book pages.
This compassionate attention to the value of the actual is not evenly distribute in my life – not even close – such that my living space is more like the sort of hollow that wild mammals tend to prize, the ones they were hole up in all winter long, which was only a couple of month ago, remember – the squirrels still remember that week in January when life in the outdoors passed through a sub-zero death zone. I see three yearling squirrels dancing around the most westward of the sycamores out front. I stop in my tracks, give them time to see me with their fresh social constructs – two hang on either side of the tree, looking at me directly, curiously, and the third is poised at the base of the power box. Power? Don’t do it, I project telepathically – whatever it is, just don’t do it. Your existential task is to unearth vintage nuts, not disrupt global authority.
Or proceed as you please – it’s up to you. How much trouble can the three cutest mammals on the block get into on a day like today? I make a clicking sound by pulling the tip of my tongue off the roof of my mouth, an aural expression I equate with speaking squirrel – I come in peace, I want it to mean. If I had something in my pocket to feed them, the whole interaction would be complete, but I’m empty handed then, so we end up inching toward each other for a minute, get in some good meet-and-greet get-to-know-you time. This probably happens every spring, urges me to carry baggies of popcorn on my person when I’m outside, fantasize about squirrels sitting at the picnic table with me, rubbing their fuzzy ears against my chin, buttoning my shirt for me.
We’re in it together – this is what nature told me today and what I think about later in my peace church loft, which sounds like a brand of sustainability, when someday they sell such a thing to the average consumer. Peace Church Loft – what everyone will be into one day, like an incense fragrance, an aural sensation, more or less guaranteed to produce a life sustained. Faith finds its resurgence when new congregations manifest in the environment in order to erect churches that brim with lofts. Thich Nhat Hanh advises: As soon as we understand the causes and nature of our feelings, they begin to transform themselves. Themselves – they transform themselves when we understand. The nature of the universe is to grow reality by comprehending it, a little better tomorrow than today. A ghostly finger grazes fine hairs on my neck, draws a line to my earlobe.

I could be just worrying over nothing (I'm an anxious person) so I want some opinions. Also we're both trans.
I have been seeing my girlfriend since January and we made things official about two weeks ago. The thing is, our relationship is pretty damn great. We call mostly everyday for 2-5 hours on average (unless either of us is busy with friends), and we message a lot. She has depression and has been going through a bad bout lately, but even through that she tells me she loves me and misses me randomly throughout the day, compliments me and says sweet things like "you're the light of my life". We have very open and honest communication, we never fight/argue and she's meeting my parents soon.
I have a LOT of issues myself (autism, depression, anxiety, OCD, CPTSD), and I'm also recovering from codependency. Therefore, even though I know she's there for me, I try not to burden her too much and tend to attempt to self-soothe instead of going to her when I'm struggling. She always asks how she can help and tries to distract me if I get in my head while on a call, but outside of that I make sure I never get in the way of her having her own life.
Recently, it's been bothering me how chill she is about making plans. We only live 200 miles apart, but neither of us drive. It's about a 3 hour train or 6 hour coach journey. We saw each other two weeks ago, and there is a very vague idea of when we'll next see each other. It'll be either mid-June or early July. I'm autistic, so the uncertainty of that drives me a little crazy. She's really not that far, so I get a little sad about how even though I want to spend a lot of time together (I'd happily travel down every week or two), she seems completely happy and content with this inconsistent once a month kind of thing. She also doesn't tend to like longer stays as someone who needs her alone time.
I will say, she gets excited when we do have a plan in place, the day before and as I'm on the way. And whilst I'm there, it's PERFECT. We're great together. It's so lovely, but as it goes I always get sad and wish I could stay a bit longer whilst she's okay with me leaving at the end.
I'm not sure how much my codependecy and attachment style (fearful leaning anxious) are tainting my view of things and making me want to spend so much time with hearound her (she has a secure attachment style). I guess I'm also concerned because I'm moving to where she is for uni in September. Will she still want to hang out at this frequency when I'm nearby? She just seems SO MUCH MORE okay with the distance than I am. Is there a positive way of looking at this? Once she did say it's because she trusts that we're seeing each other again at some point soon, but idk.
Any outside opinions welcome and feel free to ask anything.

Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

My husband (M34) is an alcoholic. He goes through these cycles of being dry for a few months, then deciding to only drink on “special occasions” or “holidays”, which then escalates to a drink or two with dinner, to buying several six packs and getting drunk while being the sole caretaker of our toddler, to lying and insulting me and screaming when being confronted. This has happened 5-6 times now. Last time, I had a doctors appointment to go to so he took off of work to watch our son. In the span bb of 1.5 hrs he drank 4 tall ones and then drove to come get me with our child in the car. I know I shouldn’t have confronted him during but I was so damn angry that he put our son at risk I kept asking what he had to drink. He kept lying and arguing and insulting and finally I’d had enough and said we were leaving for a day or two. He then grabbed me by the neck. He didn’t choke me but later claimed it was because I wouldn’t listen to what he was trying to say. I left anyways and came back several days later after talking. He’s agreed to go fully dry forever. It’s been about 2.5 months since then. I have so much anxiety now. Around drinking. Around being around other people drinking. Sometimes I forget and then I’ll look at him in a loving way and suddenly I’ll remember the way his face looked and the words he said to me. I’d be lying if I said I fully trust him with our son. My 21st birthday is coming up and i can’t even have one drink. How can I trust him again? He won’t go to AA bc he works 60hrs a week and barely has time for us or himself. Idk. I just want my husband back.

this is a long ass read but i’d appreciate any advice or understanding.
hey there, so it’s been a pretty fucking rough week for me. been the most confusing time of my entire life to be honest. my (18)gf just broke up with (19m) me on sunday, we had been together 2 years and friends for 3 years. we are long distance i’m in UK she’s in US, we have always been perfect and the way we met had such a slim chance we have always considered it to be some sort of fate. so about almost 2 weeks ago now she helps out with this theatre project going on doing the sound production, we didn’t get much time to hang out during it as it was in the evening times and the time difference was too much with my work too. i had noticed over the days she was getting very distant, so i tried to get into it a bit. she made it clear she was struggling with the distance and if things were to get really bad (mental health wise for me) she wouldn’t be sure if she could do it again because it took a lot out of her last time (i cannot blame her i did not go about my issues healthily). i assured her i understood and that it wouldn’t happen again, i did panic a bit because she has never once questioned our relationship and has always been so in love and happy to wait for us! then couple more days go on and she’s talking about the guy she’s stuck in the small room with for this sound production, he’s lovely and she’s making that clear. first couple seconds i was like he’s just a nice guy, but then i had this feeling of it sounds like you’re crushing on him. then couple days later she opens up about the fact she has developed a crush on him, and she’s feeling very conflicted because she loves me so much and cares for me and wants me there but also has never felt this way because she’s never had anything physical before. this guy obviously likes her too, we go back and forth over it for a couple days. she assures me many times she wants to work on us for a while and if she still feels the same down the line then we will have a conversation. then on the sunday, she’s out with him all evening, i have a funny feeling and ask to talk about it. she agrees to talk, then she breaks up with me. after a bit of kind of back and forth asking, after she was about to leave the car he asked her out on a date she said not sure because well she’s still with me and she promises me nothing happened between them physically. she said that she hasn’t lost feelings for me, loves me so much and that she always will and wants me to be close to her in her life. yet she broke us up in the span of a week of meeting this guy. i know that she genuinely does love and and she’s telling me the truth. i am just so lost at why it came out of the blue like this? i asked if i was to come to the US would she give us another go? her exact words are “of course i would” and i ask what can i do to make her want this again and she told me to just give her some time to figure things out and to just never leave her side. i am so confused at this, like if you want us why break up? is it the physicality? like she made it absolutely clear it’s nothing to do with me and that she is feeling so conflicted in her head, that it wasn’t fair on me if she wasn’t 100%. if you asked me 2 weeks ago this would happen i would’ve thought you’re having a laugh! she also repetitively told me that she doesn’t want this to happen, that she’s so sorry and that she would always come back to me.. i’m so confused. i know some people will just say she doesnt like you thats it but why make it clear you’re still atrracted to me, that you love + care for me so much, that you want me around you forever, that if i was in the US you would give it another go. like why drop this when we were so close to meeting! less than a year! like idk it’s still fresh so ofc i’ll be a bit delusional but i feel so sure that it’s the right person wrong time, the love we have for each other, the things we have in common, our outlook on lives. she said to me she still feels a future with me, i just don’t know what to do. i know i need to do my own thing for a while so i did say i need some space, but like i just wish i knew her exact thought process. it’s just the fact she’s making it so clear she wants me around and wants to try us again someday. like why drop if you want it? we were so happy a month ago planning me visiting, we are both so in love! (i say are because she’s made it so clear she will always love me) there is no bad blood, just so lost. also like if i eventually become friends with her, isn’t this guy going to find that so awkward and not like it bc he knows how much we love each other? i’m worried he’d try get rid of me
does anyone know how to explain? sorry for the long read, thank you.

I'm 27 and am having an increasingly difficult time fighting these thoughts off. They have always been there in some shape or form since adolescence, but they are getting worse.
I feel like I'm watching the prime years of my life go by now with nothing to show for it. I currently am in a dead end job that pays less than 40k a year for skilled work. No OT allowed so that is a hard 40k. I lost my second income at the beginning of the year which would have gotten me to about 47k/year. Not great but better than now.
I've learned 4 distinct skills so far in life so that I would never be shoehorned into one career, but I have no clue what I'm doing with them all now. I throughly enjoyed one of them, but every job I've ever found that needs that skill expects you to be at their beck and call for your career. No such thing as a schedule in that field. I never found a use for one, and the other one is just OK feeling. I enjoy what I do now but it doesn't pay enough where I live to be independent. Looking around it seems the same story most places as well.
To compound on those, I don't feel I have in person friends anymore. I have people I do chat with, but they are all spread far and wide now. I think I might have scared off those who are still close by. I had a very bad breakup from a significant LTR a few years back and haven't fully recovered. They said they understand and I want to believe them but I don't hear from them anymore.
I Can't find a new relationship and don't know what to do about it now. Rejection hurts enough on its own. I haven't tried to initiate anything in about a year. No is in fact not the worst thing that someone can say. Having someone label you as a predator after politely asking them to a dinner date and giving them my number did a toll on that end of things that I haven't been able to shake. I don't want to hurt anyone and it really hurts when people assume that's my purpose.
Finally, it just seems like life is aging out and watching people leave or die. Obviously I have no control over that, but when it feels like I'm now floating alone in a pool that used to have a medley of people (for lack of a better term), it sucks.
I'm not at immediate risk of any harm but I can feel myself falling deeper, even with meds and trying to see the bright side of things. I have a 5th skill I'm now learning but half of me thinks there's no point to it because I still won't come out satisfied at the end.
If this is too long, TLDR is I don't get how people want to keep living and trying. Life seems like pain with only small moments of happiness and enjoyment. If only one or two things felt erronious at the moment I don't think I'd feel this way, but my entire life seems to be falling upside down with time.

Long post but please help!
I was very close with my in-laws for 8 years, until I got accepted into grad school and got engaged to her son in 2021. My fiancé and I had to move 4 hours away from home, and he’s financially supporting us while Im in my doctoral program. I’m paying for school and things for the apartment but he’s paying for everything else. He’s known about me going to grad school for our entire relationship and been aware of costs that would come with us living together before I graduate. He makes enough to support us both and says he’s happy to help support me so we can finally be together and so I won’t have to take out loans just to live.
When the moving process begun, shit hit the fan. In his family group text, we mentioned we’re planning a trip to Mexico next spring so we can decide if that’s where we want to married. My MIL stated it’s ridiculous to spend extra $ by going twice, and just use the internet to decide. She proceeded to remind me that trips are not cheap & called me a BrideZilla (you guessed it, with a “Just kidding” at the end of it). I ignored the statement and reminded her that my fiancé, me, and my parents aren’t dropping 30k on event where we’ve never seen. This $ was arbitrary, as we’re not sure how much it will actually be. She and my fiancé began a separate text between each other, where my fiancé called her out for calling me a BrideZilla. She then said I am actually exhibiting BrideZilla behavior, have no clue how much things cost, Im entitled and always wanting to go on vaca’s, and force him to spend $ that he earns on me. This was the only time I’ve ever talked about wedding to his family, I’ve waited tables for past 8 years through undergrad, and 2/3 of our vaca’s that year were paid for by other family members. His mom proceeded to tell her sisters (a separate family group chat that I was not in) about the destination wedding decision and stated “oh wait, it’s his money not hers lol”. He called her out on how rude she was and left the group chat.
I was shocked at the texts she sent to him, as it was if she never really go to know who I am as a person or noticed how hard I’ve worked through school. She asked me if I was upset about the group chat BrideZilla comment, and I told her I was actually upset about the separate convo between my fiancé and her. She then proceeded to talk shit about my fiancé, her own son, saying that he started drama by showing me the texts and saying that those were supposed to be private. She said sorry my feelings were hurt but she’s financially concerned because I’m not earning any money while in school and I’ve never had a “big girl job”.
We eventually got over her untrue comments and we moved. Fast forward one year later, and we decided it was just too much to come down for Father's Day. I wasn't feeling well and my fiancé said he didn't want to waste his weekend driving roundtrip for 12 hours. My fiancé calls his mother and tells her that its just too much and although he committed to going, he decided he was going to stay here and take care of me. MIL blew up and hung up on him (keep in mind we've been here for almost 2 years now and not once has anyone in the immediate family attempted to come see us). About a week later, his MIL commented on my Facebook posts with nasty comments thinking my posts were directed towards her (they were just general quotes, I didn't even realize she had an issue with me at the time). I delete her comment and my fiancé texts her to keep her problems off social media. She eventually blows up my fiancé's phone for hours talking about how we are selfish, about how I have no life experience that "it's laughable", nobody in the family likes me, apparently “everyone in this family thinks the same of me” and that “at this point nobody is going to your f*cking wedding”. That night, she deleted both me and him off of Facebook, but the next day she told my fiancé that I went on his fb and deleted her (why would I do this after 8 years? lol)
I was so hurt after all the memories we made together over the past 8 years, that I deleted all of the pics we had together on my social media. I finally knew what she truly thought of me. Was it immature to delete all the pics? Probably. But I also knew I could never have the same relationship with them again after all the things they said about me. Note: deleting the pics were not to intentionally hurt her, but more of something I felt like I needed to do for me to be emotionally “done”. It felt like all the previous times together were just fake. Over text, FMIL and I got into it. She stated to my fiancé “I want all the money you owe me NOW” (she gets like this when she doesn’t get her way to manipulate others- constantly using things she has paid for in the past to make us feel bad) and I straight up told her “there you go again using money against your own son”. Well that set her off and she threatened to talk with my parents and let them know they won’t be at the wedding due to my “nasty words” towards her. Not once have I ever cussed at her or attacked her character (like she has to me). Once she did this over FB messenger, My parents ignored her and said they weren’t getting involved. We went no contact for about 4 months until she realized we weren't backing down. During that time, she had the audacity to cut off my fiancé’s phone service in the middle of a work day (he paid his own but stayed on family plan to save them money).
She eventually apologized to me over text, telling me how she was just upset that she didn't feel important to us and took it out on me. She claims she recently gone through menopause during all of this. But, she still insists on telling my fiancé that I am not as innocent as I seem and keeps bringing up the deleting on FB because she wont admit she did it (she was probably drinking). I told her that I forgive her but it would take a long time for me feel comfortable and move on.
A few months later, they came down to visit us. We took them downtown and showed them where I went to school, our favorite restaurant, and then our apartment. FMIL threw a fit about us being out too long and started crying, saying that “this was my opportunity to relax from work and I wanted to go to the beach… I didn’t even want to go to lunch but I did for yall!” Just drama and drinking the entire time. No fun for my fiancé or me. Of course his step dad tells my fiancé “just go apologize to her, so we can all move on”. Fiancé stood his ground and said no, I did nothing wrong. I was civil the entire time and was actually the only one to console her upstairs when her and my fiance got into it about no time at the beach.
A couple of weeks later, I posted some recent pics of the past few months as a life update on FB. I didn’t post any photos of the trip except for one of us doing a cheers with our drinks (no faces involved). Keep in mind she had been posting pics of all of us all weekend, so some pics I was tagged in were already on my page. Of course FMIL got pissed and texted a bunch of screenshots of my fb page saying that I’m “holding a grudge” and “obviously have no intention of moving forward”. I told my fiance to tell her that I simply made a post and did not have a lot of time to go searching for the pics way up in the family group chat, so that it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s feelings. The truth is, I didn’t feel comfortable posting photos of her on my page after the things she has said about me. I thought she would understand this considering I told her it would take time to heal (just didn’t want to start drama especially when dealing with school at the time). FMIL did not buy the excuse and we ended up saying “it shouldn’t matter if I don’t post a picture of yall, it’s not a huge deal”. Why would I post pics of a trip that was mainly drama? Fiancé understands where I was coming from and respected that. FMIL texted fiancé saying “I’ll go ahead and take back the $ I offered to pay for your rehearsal dinner”. She then got to digging and eventually realized I had removed all of our pics (what I did months before this). Fiancé’s step dad got involved and to look at my FB page. She told him that I deleted all of the pics of them on my FB and was holding a grudge. He saw that and texted my fiancé saying he’s convinced I’m the problem and that “although your mom has said some things that she has apologized for, I’m convinced your fiance is the problem here and doesn’t want to forgive”. (If I didn’t forgive, I wouldn’t have spent time with them when they came to visit us…)
He then stated that “if we are not going to be in any photos or posted in any pics, you can go ahead and uninvite us from the wedding and we’ll relay to our side of the family that we don’t plan to attend”. Fiancé gave them exactly what they asked for and said “at this point I don’t want you there so you got it”. Fiancé has been no contact since last July. Did not come to Thanksgiving, Christmas, and did not wish his parents happy birthday. I have not received a happy birthday from the entire side of the family. They are also avoiding us on social media. Fiancé recently received a text from his grandma saying “you are evil for treating your own mother this way and none of us will be at your wedding if your own mother is not invited”. Basically, he found out that she had told everyone that we uninvited them all on our own. She’s saying that we “misunderstood them” when we clearly have the text with their request, and that they “of course want to be there for his special day”. Now our guest list is cut in half and he will have no family at the wedding~ not even his 22 y/o brother.
We are at a loss. It’s 6 months until wedding and nothing has happened besides her sending flying monkeys and my fiancé having to block even more of his family. She even texted his birth dad (they never speak) recently saying “I just want to share my side of the story”. He didn’t reply.
I understand I may have done some things out of pettiness (none as bad as the things she has said to us) but we believe them using OUR event against us/threatening to not be at the wedding because they may not be posted on my FB is terrible and extremely hurtful.

I just had one of the most humiliating experiences in my life. Today is my birthday and I turned 36. it’s been a rough day for a variety of reasons and mainly just getting older stinks! My friend group wanted to take me to dinner and cheer me up. So all of us go to a Mexican restaurant in Hendersonville with our spouses and kiddos, in total there were 15 of us. It was just what I needed and totally lifted my spirits!
Towards the end of the night the servers come out to sing me happy birthday, I assume they are going to do the sombrero and bring cake/ice cream or whatever. Much to my surprise and completely unprompted I have a hand full of pie come from behind me and pie me in the face, and not just a little, an entire napkin full of pie cream stuffed in my face. The guy who did it apparently ran away right after doing this. I sat there in complete shock feeling violated and mortified of what just happened, not to mention the entire restaurant is looking at me.
One of the female servers asks me if I’m okay because she can see that there is pie in my literal eye lashes!! I sat there in complete silence and shock. After about 5 minutes another woman came out and tried to apologize to me saying that she thought it would be okay to do this because it is apart of THEIR customs (mind you my complexion is practically Snow White). I lost it, started crying and told her I could not believe they had the audacity to assume that would be okay in any sense.
So now I’m left feeling ridiculous for crying and fuming that I was violated in such a way. Is this a normal practice for Mexican restaurants? I have never seen anything like this before. Am I overreacting or should there be recourse for this? I don’t know know who to talk to or what to do and am left feeling shattered from this whole ordeal.

So every summer my (22M) family takes a week long trip to Yosemite. I love this tradition and it’s my favorite time of year to go cuz i love camping. This past year I did self harm and went way overboard leaving a bunch of visible scars on my forearms. (I am fine now and do not have any intention of relapsing so don’r worry). I’m faced with the regret every time i look down at my arms and have since gone through many measures to try and hide them as well as fade them as fast as i can before summer.
It’s too late for that as my scars are still very much visible so i made the decision to not go to Yosemite this year. Im not ready for the rest of my family to see. Before I announced it a few of my cousins have also decided to not go so I felt a little better about making the decision. My immediate family are the only few members of my larger family that are aware of my self harming and this includes my brother (20M) and his girlfriend (20F).
The dates for the trip this year so happen to fall on my brother’s girlfriend’s birthday and on a whim my mom made a comment about how we can do a little something to celebrate. I made the decision to not go to the trip months ago and when I broke it to my brother and his gf she immediately took offense that i was gonna miss her birthday. It’s her 21st so i figured that there’s no way we’re gonna celebrate that milestone as an after thought in a place where we couldn’t really go all out and assumed we’d have a bigger celebration after or before the trip.
Her takeaway was “wow so the cousins are not coming and now you’re not coming. Does anyone in this family even notice me? Should i even go to Yosemite this year? Should i bother even celebrating my 21st? I guess my birthday isn’t that important to you guys”. I kept bickering and adding that we should celebrate her birthday when everyone is available and besides that we should have a bigger celebration that isn’t impeded by a family vacation and that there would be less to do for her birthday on a camping trip. Basically that no one is missing yosemite to intentionally miss out on her birthday and that I and everyone else would be more than happy to still celebrate her birthday at a different date. she pointed to me asking what was my reason for not going. I didn’t say anything at first but she kept pressing and i finally admitted it was because my scars are still visible and i wasn’t comfortable with revealing them.
She said to just wear a long sleeve and to not care what everyone thinks. It’s freaking hot in yosemite during the summer. My decision is final but my sister in law is taking it very personally. Am i in the wrong here? Should i find a way to be comfortable with my scars so i can still attend the trip?

Hi guys. Last November, I was hired by a UK client on Upwork with doing outreach tasks including: Sending connection requests on Linkedin & Facebook, sending and managing cold email campaigns, and responding to DMs. This was for 3 dollars per hour. I was new to freelancing and I thought na this was a great deal kasi I would get paid more than PH minimum wage while just sending out friend requests. It was also my first time hunting jobs on Upwork and I had a hundred connects kaya apply lang ako nang apply during this time.
Nung job interview, she asked me whether I was looking for a full time or a part time job, and I said I was looking for a full time. She also brought up na she saw on my Upwork profile na I do graphics design and video editing kaya I might do these tasks din for her. I thought it would be great kasi I could skip doing pro-bono and build my portfolio while working for her. I got the job.
Nag-start ako. Madali lang naman yung mga tasks. Since I was a fast learner and really efficient with my time (hourly ang bayad kaya medyo lugi) Mapa-administrative tasks, video edit, graphics design, outreach tasks, and technical tasks. I was doing her website on GoHighLevel. I also helped her with her webinars. Naging honest ako sa kaniya na I don’t think replying to DMs are for me kasi nag-ooverthink ako madalas sa irereply sa clients niya. Yung iba ginagawa ko parin naman. Magrreach out ako sa warm leads and hot leads, pero yung pag-build na ng rapport siya na gumagawa. She said she understood, kaya I felt bad and just did the other things the best that I could. I loved the job because I was gaining a lot - knowledge, skills, and experience. She was happy with the work I do at lagi niyang sinasabi na naaappreciate niya ako. I was satisfied.
After 3 months, dun na ako nakasali sa reddit at nakapagbasa tungkol sa job compensations. May mga nagpo-post ng job description dito tapos sasabihin na lowball ang client - hello, they’re getting paid a lot more than I am and low ball parin sila? That’s when I started feeling bad about myself and thought kung eto lang ba yung worth ng lahat ng ginagawa ko.
I brought it up to her na I believe I could be paid more sa amount and scope ng tasks na hawak ko. First week ng march ‘to, and she said na she agrees kasi initially 2 hrs lang naman talaga dapat work ko. (Yung outreach) But nung sinabi ko raw sa job interview na full time hanap ko, nag-isip at nag-hanap pa daw siya ng ibang tasks for me para gawing full-time. Kaya naisip ko neto, “ah, kasalanan ko.” Sabi niya pag-usapan raw ulit namin ng end of March.
That March ginanahan ako ng sobra mag-trabaho - she also did webinars, so overtime ako madalas. 10 hours per day? Sure, at least mas maraming pera dumadating sakin. I worked 192 hours during this month sa sobrang saya ko. Kaso dumating yung end of March, hindi na niya brining up yung increase ko.
So ayun. Nawalhan ako ng gana sa work. I was still doing them, pero not with the same will. I was having intense episodes of impostor syndrome. I was blaming myself for taking such a low compensation (according to reddit) job. I was starting to doubt kung eto lang ba worth ng skills at time ko. Every time she tells me she appreciates me, I was disgusted. Yung ginagawa ko ba yung appreciate niya or the fact na I was doing it for mere 3 dollars per hour? By the second week of April, I told her I’m quitting. I made all sorts of SOP para lang maging mas smooth yung transition sa bagong VA.
I felt bad for suddenly quitting kaya I told her I’m willing to work with her until she finds someone else to replace me. That’s my mistake. Ngayon, I’m not even sure if she’s trying to find someone else. Every time tinatry ko i-follow up sakaniya kung may nahanap na siya, she just says na she agrees she needs more help then proceeds to give me more tasks. I was doing the same tasks for less time kasi naging part time nalang ako when I told her I was quitting.
Most recently, she started to make me do reels. I initially told her na I didn’t think I was fit for the job. Sabi niya “didn’t you love video editing?” Sabi ko nalang na iba kasi yung long-form video editing sa short-form. Kailangan mas mapukaw ‘yung atensyon ng viewer blabla. I was practicing kako pero hindi ko gusto yung output and I would feel bad to get paid for it. My mistake again. Sabi niya go lang try mo lang. So what I did is just add subtitles kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na once na simulan ko na mag-effort mag-ssnowball na siya. Nag-suggest siya na mag-add ako ng emoji para lang makuha atensyon ng viewer. And eto na kinaaayawan ko. Nag-simula na ako mag-edit in Alex Hormozi’s style. With b-rolls, animations, and film burns - all for 3 dollars per hour. I only edited 3 kasi naisipan ko na i-dagdag nalang sa portfolio ko. Ngayon, she wants me to do more. Sabi niya gusto niya raw ng bank of reels. Pero ayoko na talaga gawin siya for only 3 dollars.
Ngayon I want to send her a follow up sa salary increase ko. If she gave me an increase, I will stay. But if she doesn’t, I will quit for good na talaga. I don’t want to burn bridges kasi natatakot ako na mag-leave siya ng bad review sa Upwork profile ko. The thing is hindi ko alam kung magkano dapat ang compensation ng all around na virtual assistant. I think she doesn’t earn much kaya ayoko siya pilitin kasi isang client niya 1k usd per month lang bayad sakaniya. Tapos yung dalawa, 2k for 26 weeks. Is 5 dollars ok kung ganun? Hindi ko rin alam sasabihin kasi baka maging masyadong mean if sasabihin ko na “My role has extended beyond the job description to include graphics design, administrative work, video editing, and technical tasks, while maintaining the same compensation. I honestly believe that my contributions are worth more than $3 dollars for hour.” Lalo na kung ako naman nag-dala neto sa sarili ko?
Anyway, please be nice. I know I brought this upon myself pero hindi ko alam na I would be doing more than the job description while keeping the same salary compensation. Wag niyo na idiin sakin na kasalanan ko kasi tumanggap ako ng lowball client. Again, it was my first time and I thought I was only sending out friend requests. Please and thank you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSx7IyveErw
I am fed up with the concept of human perfectability; and I think probably the single main reason why I am so tired of it, is because of how egregious the behaviour of its' advocates are. My exposure to both sides of the online culture war over the last 20 years, is honestly the single main reason why my faith in humanity is currently almost completely non-existent.
The main reason why I'm tired of Utopianism, is because I also no longer want the inquisition; and it's the inquisition which really demonstrates what I am saying. I don't want the anger from people who think they are more enlightened than I am, and demand to know why I am such a supposedly evil bigot; and in doing so, demonstrate that they really aren't anywhere near as morally superior to me as they think they are. Again, I know the responses I will get to this thread, will most likely only prove my point, here.
We need to stop pretending. Stop claiming that we want universal inclusivity on the one hand, but then look for ways to rationalise "intolerance towards the intolerant," ageism, hatred of men, and prejudice towards anyone who makes us feel intellectually insecure. We need to stop wishing people a happy Zombie Jesus Day every Easter, and then weeping crocodile tears about the supposed "genocide" of Palestinian or Uighur Muslims on the other.
None of us are morally any better than each other, in reality. We're not; and ironically, the acceptance of that, is what would actually lead to real peace. Most of the conflict we engage in, is because of us looking down at each other; and yes, I include myself in that.
I'm not asking for anyone here to do better. I'm not making any grand appeal to Utopia, or the establishment of some Golden Age, because I genuinely don't believe that we are capable of that any more. I just wish we could drop the act. Stop the pretense. Take the masks off. Stop pretending to be high minded towards "protected groups" on the one hand, while still displaying as much prejudice as we like, towards people who we think that we are socially permitted to hate, and therefore won't receive retribution for.

I was reading the post on her about divy having kids and her saying that there’s other ways to have kids (adoption/ surrogacy) does she not realize she needs to meet qualifications for both? she has no income, lives with her parents, can barely support herself, etc. Surrogacy and adoption arent cheap (plus whatever it costs yearly to raise a kid) it will cost her at least 75k and this is the same woman who won’t cough up the extra 30-50 dollars to get her hair blow dried and styled at the salon and won’t spend 50-150 dollars on a nice travel bag and she will instead keep buying cheap stuff from amazon that won’t hold up (WHICH IS WHY SHE IS BUYING A NEW BAG EVERY TRIP) like is she serious? her parents will never pay for that or even entertain the idea of her doing that without a husband. i’m sure they already know divy probably won’t accomplish those things in life and that’s why they have dylan. i am sure her parents are discussing ing what’s going to happen to divy when they pass away they are not worried about her having kids. also if she wants this life so bad why is she not doing anything to better her chances? why is she on bumble and facebook dating and she can’t even hold a conversation on tik tok live, through comments, or even through text messages and she wants a man who’s in finance? she has no real social life and leaves the house looking any kind of way. the least she can do it put herself together more and go out places and do stuff out the house. does she think these 6’5 blue guys trust fund guys are sitting on FACEBOOK dating looking for a divy to knock up and marry? her standards are way to high for herself especially if she has never ever dated before. what will she bring to these men? she cant even take care of herself imagine her trying to take care of a house and a baby. if she was serious about having a baby she would also get her health under control too. she takes birth control for her PCOS which only masks the symptoms but she needs to change her diet and lifestyle. she eats sugar, carbs, chipotle, and sodas all day. she needs to get SERIOUS

My older brother married some years back. His first was semi arranged so when he had a love marriage and we saw how happy and compatible they were of course we were overjoyed. I had very bad experience with my in laws and my husbands sister so the short time they were to live with our parents I wanted to make sure I could support her easing into the family. The short time they stayed however I noticed there was always some drama and when we’d get to the root of it it would always be my sil who had concocted some story. When my brother would become furious and throw accusations we would be genuinely confused and clarify things. When he’d go to his wife she would act clueless or on one occasion even claimed he’d misheard her.
It felt like every week there was something new made up and soon enough we were all walking on egg shells . We never confronted her because we didn’t want them to have issues but when my brother was faced with her lies he’d dismiss us after having just insulted us all. Claiming it was a misunderstanding. Somehow my sil and I remained close. She leaned on me when she wanted help and I was happy to be there for her. Only when they moved out and she went radio silent on me did I realise we weren’t actually friends. I was hurt but I moved on. I married and had my own life going on but issues arises again when she started targeting me. Specifically she’d instigate when it came to events. My birthday. My kids birthday.
I started to resent them both. After one last incident I’d had enough. It was my child’s birthday party in a week. She decided that was the time to complain to my brother about something ridiculous. What was even worse was that I had just talked to her a few days back where we’d talked in the subject and she came across happy. Nothing was said to me.insults and cussing followed from my brother and after he was done and I told him how unacceptable his behaviour was he apologised and told me he has to say all this because he needed to tell his wife that he’s taken action or she’d be upset . I think that was the day I lost all respect for them both. I suspect she wanted to sabotage the party. She did struggle and pout when there was an event she wasn’t the centre of. I suppose she expected me to be a normal person with self respect and take away their invite and ruin the party. I didn’t have that in me at the time.Every member of our Family has been targeted by her but everyone stayed quiet to keep the peace.
That should have been the day I cut them both off . I know in Islam you can’t break ties but I truly haven’t come across a more toxic couple who feed off each other. I’ve long suspected they’re both narcissists but very few would believe me because outer image is the most important thing to them and they keep it intact around others.
My brother is no saint he’s always had a bit of a chip on his shoulder but after marriage he thinks we’re all peasants and hes special. She’s exactly the same. I’ve accepted that we’re very different people and that’s why I’ve distanced from both. My mother has expressed he’s hurt by this . I feel my sil finally got what she wanted but they pushed me so far I reached a point where I didn’t care anymore. I want them to be happy but just not at the expense of hurting me. Am I wrong for walking away?

so theres this one game i played while i was a little kid that i absolutely adored. i kept playing it over and over but i just cannot remember what it was called. thankfully there was one scene that stuck out to me, so i hope that can help !!! thank you for the help :- )
Platform(s): I played this on the playstation two, i remember the controller
Genre: Action / Beat em up? It was similar to crash bandicoot or like classic sonic in sonic generations. you could play several different characters
Estimated year of release: i honestly have zero idea, im so sorry.
Graphics/art style: i want to say this game was apart of a franchise, because im pretty sure i remember there being a television show ? though that could very well be a mismemory. it had decent graphics for the ps2, very cartoony. it had that 2000s edge going for it.
Notable characters: first and foremost i remember there very vividly being a giant worm of sorts attacking the building the family was stuck in. i think it was a hot air balloon that they lived in? i want to say there was five characters. one was a teenage boy, and another was some sort of furry creature? i also believe there was a mother and father. regardless, they all had orange and black jumpsuits on. each character had their own set of skills
Notable gameplay mechanics: you had to run from left to right through the place while spotting the worm from outside the windows. there were some mini enemies, but it was mostly platforming. you made your way onto the roof to fight the worm and you had to avoid being eaten. i dont remember what happened if you won or lost which blows, but i remember very vividly how cool it was to watch the worm slither past you outside the windows while you jumped over a pit
Other details: im not entirely sure, but it could have been a cartoon network game.

Hey guys, I’m a 22 year old college graduate. About a year ago or so, I was more regular on this sub, but due to school and some struggles with depression/despair, staying consistent with restoring was an issue.
I’m happy to say my mental health has since greatly improved, and I’m back to try this again. I’ve moved into a new apartment and still have my old materials for T-taping. At first, I would’ve said I was a CI1.5, and I’m pretty confidently a CI2 now (I can pull skin over my corona when flaccid). This means devices are probably still a ways off.
I was wondering if there’s more up-to-date information/videos regarding restoration in general? Or any other big discoveries/news since I’ve been gone.
Also, are there any good apps to track progress? Or how do you guys stay consistent with timers, etc?
I’m well aware that starting restoration when I’m young is the best for skin growth. As it stands, for life in general, I’m currently trying to establish healthy routines with exercise, diet, my mental health, and restoration.
Thank you, and KOT.

Hi! I'm looking for friends and potentially someone to love! I mostly present as femme but I do look a little masc because I go to the gym and often wear gym clothes as part of my everyday attire (it's just what looks the best imo).
I go by she/her, I'm a lesbian, 18. I'd love to get to know someone and maybe have it become something more <3 I'm totally up to chatting with people of any age really (just have to be 18 or over) since there's so many cool people out there that are older than me!
I live in Northern California (not the bad southern part haha), and I'm really open to meeting people from anywhere in the world. I like to adventure in my van so I'm totally up to driving long-distances if I find the right girl! My family originally raised me to be heavily religious which being a lesbian definitely gave me trauma in a lot more ways than one. I recently decided to no longer be religious though so a lot of the stuff I've been doing recently has been pretty new to me!
I have a lot of hobbies actually, including stuff like Drone Photography, Hiking, Scenic Drives, Working out, and a few others. I'd like it if you have a hobby as well but not a requirement!
I'm super super up for NSFW chats. I'm medically diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance (also caused late puberty) and it makes me have a extremely high sexual desire. If you decide to DM me please be aware of this because some people think that sex is like my main personality lol. My hormonal imbalance also affects my alcohol consumption. My doctor says that my higher amounts of estrogen impacts the brains "reward center" which means I naturally have an intense craving for alcohol and the effects it puts on me. This is also something I'm working to fix but just be aware I might be tipsy or even drunk at times. I can legally drink in California because my parents supply it. I put this in bold because I forget to disclose this sometimes and have unfortunately drawn people away.
That's all I can think of for now.. feel free to send me a DM!!

(i don't know if i should add a flare for one small thing mentioned here, but it's brief and in passing. i am sorry, i don't use reddit much, please let me know if i need to add one. i also apologize for any grammar weirdness, english is not my first language.)
its 11pm. my birthday, the 22nd, is only in an hour here. i'll be 23.
none of my friends really live near me, they've all since moved. for family, they either hate me for being gay, hate me for being trans, hate me for some other reason, or live far away. i'm stuck living with my father and stepmother, who both hate my guts. they're probably not going to get me anything, except for maybe candy they think i like (that i actually don't) and make fat jokes about me when i open it. at least it wouldn't be a 5$ rape whistle like last time.
everyone else in my family gets a whole lot of prep time, everyone else asks them what they want for their birthdays, and have a couple weeks to figure out things like what they want, if they want to do anything, etc. i get a half-assed "do you want to do anything" 2 hours before midnight. and honestly? i would like to do something, but we're pretty rural and there's nothing going on, and the city (the only place in the province that ever has anything going on) is 2 hours away.
earlier today my stepmother asked me what cake i wanted. i said that if possible i'd like my favourite, which is key lime cheesecake, but if she couldn't find that it is okay, and that i'd be okay with pretty much anything as long as it's not too rich. she got upset with me about it. she does with everything.
i know my birthday hasn't even happened yet, so i know everything might be okay and i'll have a perfectly fine day. but i can't shake this feeling of sadness and dread i have about it. i don't even want much. i just want to be able to see a few people i actually care about, and who care about me, maybe get a cool tshirt or something. but i can tell that i'll be miserable and disappointed tomorrow.
i know my boyfriend will try his best tomorrow. and i'll appreciate it, and i know he'll probably take a little bit of the edge off. he's been trying to help me figure out some plans for tomorrow for a little while now. but as much as i adore him, and as happy as he makes me, we both know that he alone can't fix a lifetime's worth of being the least favourite child.
i can't even really get myself anything. money is really tight, my job burned down at the end of january (and yes, that is literal) and i haven't been able to get one since. and since i'm getting surgery in july, there's not even a point in searching anymore. i'm a freelancer, but it really only covers pet care and some of my medication. the only thing i truly, honestly, sincerely want is far too expensive for me to ever justify asking for. (...or, if i can be a little lighthearted, for silksong to finally come out.)
i don't really know where i'm going with this, to be honest, or how to end it. i guess i'm just dreading the lonely, sad, disappointing birthday i'll be having again this year. it never gets easier. i'm trying to be optimistic but the feelings just keep sinking back in. im not really tired, and it'll take me hours to fall asleep like it always does, but i might try to go to bed soon or something. i dont know what else to do.

Ok so this is gonna be word vomit and I know other Catholics are gonna downvote me but I’m so tired you guys. I’m so tired.
I fell away from Christianity at 13. Raised Catholic. Baptized. Communion. I just never got confirmed. I didn’t like the hypocrisy and that’s why I left. I was bullied so horribly I self harmed. Was hospitalized multiple times in from 14-15. Was sent to a “troubled teen program” in the wilderness and was forced to go to a boarding school for “Troubled kids” and by troubled I was suicidal and self harming from the bullying and then ended up getting R*aped multiple times and never told anyone.
And then it turns out on top of all this depression and bullying I was diagnosed with autism so no wonder I didn’t know how to cope with any of this and my brain is just wired different not to mention all the trauma from being touched when I was 8 by a family member and to this day I still never told anyone and so much more trauma I can’t even say it all and the point of this damn post is due to my mental health issues…anxiety disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, depression, autism, adhd, as well as two autoimmune diseases I don’t want kids. I don’t want to be pregnant.
I would end up with PPD or worse. I’ve been pregnant. I was so crazy I would be crying for hours one minute and then catatonic in the shower staring at the ceiling until the water turned cold. I miscarried in the end anyways.
And I’m so tired of being told I can’t be a fucking Catholic because I don’t want to grow a human being in my body. I’m so tired of being told I can’t ever get married because I don’t want kids. I’m ok with adoption but I make like no money I can’t afford that. I’d even do surrogacy with my own damn eggs if I could afford it but pretty sure that is anti Catholic too idk where we stand on that currently and again no money for that.
But y’all im so over it. I had been feeling a calling back to Christianity for a couple years and finally a couple months ago in January actually, I decided to go to church for the first time in over 20 years and I was so happy and I felt so good , and I felt so welcomed? I loved going to mass I even went to my first confession I even started going to adoration. I’d never even heard of adoration before believe it or not but then again I did stop going to church at age 13.
I even bought a veil because the idea of veiling during adoration just seemed beautiful to me And I started going once a week m. I joined 24 seven adoration chapel. I joined a bunch of Facebook groups for Catholics and started following Catholic subs. I threw away everything occult I owned. I started saying the rosary every day or at least a couple times a week. I really for the first time in a long time. Thought I fucking found some peace.
But instead, I started to realize that while I love Catholicism, I just can’t stand so many Catholics . So many people judging and that’s all they do in these groups is fucking judge. My best friend in the entire world her wife is trans. My aunt is married to a woman because she fell in love with her best friend friend. People make jokes about the LGBTQ community and it’s fine to believe that something is sinful, but that doesn’t mean you have to continuously insult the sinner. And it’s like that’s all they do in these groups. They only ever talk about abortion and how everyone should be a mother and how gay people are basically destroying the world so essentially all I get bombarded with all day is that the people I love are terrible people and I’m a shit human being for not wanting to have children because of all the shit that’s happened to me.
I have been crying off and on and have almost really regretted reverting , and I hate to even say that it makes my heart sick to say that, but my pagan friends, my atheist friends have never been as cruel and cold as the people in these Christian groups. All they ever do is hate on each other and hate on other people had to leave because it was just destroying my mental health. Now I remember why I left all those years ago it hasn’t changed if anything it seems like it’s got even worse.
I’m probably gonna end up deleting this and I’m sure no one’s gonna read this but I just don’t know who to turn to, but I’m really scared. I’m going to make the wrong choice and end up going back to paganism because I’m tired of being hurt every day because of things that I can’t help .

I’ve been looking into what it means to truly astral project (after I believe it happened once in an MRI which led me searching for answers). The descriptions I’ve found sound remarkably like when I’ve over consumed drugs, not OD’d or even close to that, but just past the point of it being fun. This can happen to me with weed and with cocaine, separately, not in combination.
Basically, I become hyper-aware and no longer high. I either smoke or snort myself sober.
But it’s a more real reality than when I’m sober during the day. My senses tingle at every sound. I can even hear silence. That’s when I realize I’m no longer in my body. Everyone else has passed out long ago but the TV is still on some infomercial that glows surrounded by crackling ether. I’m the only one at the party still awake. But I’m not awake, I’m just floating through the space.
And then I go outside, and it’s always a cool, clear night. Even if it’s summer or winter on our plane, it’s a gentler version of that heat or cold. The skies sparkle with stars.
Sometimes I meet people. Other times I don’t. Sometimes we talk, most time we just nod and go about our way.
So now, when I reflect I wonder. Was this AP? If so, was it facilitated by the drugs? Did the drugs open my mind, or open a portal to the astral plane inadvertently? Or, was it just that I was hallucinating on drugs and it was all me just tripping in my head? I really couldn’t say for sure either way and wondering if anyone has an experience or understanding of the possibilities of this.
Disclaimer: I want to be clear that drugs are bad. I am in no way condoning or attempting to glamorize the abuse of drugs. These experiences happened to me during a dark part of my life that I am thankfully past. I will not attempt to use drugs to aid in AP and I would hope nobody does.