Nice things to say to your mom

So today I visited a local Starbucks in store here in Texas.
I’m a boomer and proud of it.
Waiting for my Frappuccino, young white woman of about 18 comes in with a bright red tshirt white Huge white letters on the back saying, “Zero F*CKS GIVEN” But the f word was spelled out and the zero was the actual 0 digit printed on the length of the tshirt.
On the front of her shirt in big white letters was the word “Heathen”.
I walked up to her as she was playing with her phone and said “Hey there, we’ve got some things in common. See, I also don’t give a flying F. But that’s where the similarities end. ‘Cause I ain’t stupid enough to go walking around in a tshirt looking like a fool with the f word written all over it, thinking you look cool or hip. Oh, and did you notice the two little girls over there with their mother who were staring at you?”
She just smiled and said “Yeah, I didn’t make the tshirt.” And turned back to playing with her phone.
Have a nice day, and remember to be kind a good to each other.

Hi I wasn't quite sure who to speak to about this so I decided to use a burner account.
So I 18F have known this guy, 18M (let's call him Connor) since we were kids. Like we have known each other since birth. Now Connor and I live about an hour away from each other and our families used to meet up a bit when we were younger. However, about 5 years ago or so our mums fell out and so we didn't see each other for 5 years. Yet a few months ago, my grandma died and as Connor's mum and my grandma were quite close. We actualy ended up meeting up because we went to visit my grandpa on the same day thatConnor went to the same area to see a play (of a GCSE text that he studies). When our families met up I was actualy taken by surprise, I remembered Connor a bit form when I was younger but of course he was all grown up now and so different than my memory. Not that I'd admit it in my teenage embarrassment but I found Connor really quite cute and after dinner, we went on a small walk round the village to just talk because we were around the same age and our parents went off to get ice cream. We talked about our schools (him going to an all boys school and ke just a public one) and how different they were. I really enjoyed talking to Connor and so when he asked if I had snapchat I of course said yes. Before this I didn't use it like at all. I didn't have any snapstreaks and only had it installed. But after this we kept on talking every day and it was really quite nice to have a friends a friends I spoke to every day.
However at some point my friend, Braleigh (17F but 18 in 2 days) found out about Connors existence because I think my friends spoke about him because ethey kept on teasing him about me (they asked what I did at the weekend and when I said I met a family friend they all made innuendos). Now Braleigh and I hadn't been friends very long but she enjoyed teasing me about Connor but after begging for weeks, I finally showed a photo of him to her and her friends (My first mistake). She said he was ugly and I couldn't really defend him because at this point I hadn't even accepted the crush myself. So time progressed and at some point around Christmas, Connor asked me to give her snaochat to me because he enjoyed teasing her when on my phone. I didn't want to but he said something like "come on don't be boring" and I stupidly accepted.
Now one thing you need to know about Braleigh is she is very good at trying to message guys. No offence to her but she isn't the most attractive but she gives attention to many guys (even in lower years) and is very well experienced. Up until this point she had been in a relationship for about a month with her first boyfriend (now ex) in the year above.
Now I wa strally worried when driving home and when he began to give slower response times than usual I began to get really worried that he was messaging her back and not me (ehich he's fine to fo its his life) but I was in denial about my feelings at this point. Now my family ended up visiting his a few weeks later just after Christmas and ge said he blocked her and we even got into an argument about him not long before. She aid I was acting "stroppy" and ignoring her (she was talking about a time I felt really sick and wanst speaking to anyone just sat with my head in my hands). She said "fine I'll block him" and I thought that was that. She playfully joked about sharing his snapchat to the people in my school because they were all interested about this "Mystery Connor, [my] boyfriend." No matter how often I told them we weren't dating, they didn't drop it (mainly because I'm not really attractive and am not really expected to find love)
Time skip to a few weeks ago. Braleigh and I fell out because some of her friends were gossiping about her behind her back. One of her friends said that it was awkward in lesson when I gave her ex-boyfriemd (This is Braighleigh's second and they had been going out for a month and a half give or take). I said yeah but wanted wanted to drop it because she'd already said the same thing in the lesson and I didn't think it wa say of our business. Now some people started calling her a slag and I think unintentionally U said something that supported that (which I would never want it to be my intention) but two days later she ended up sending me loads of accusatory texts. Now I said to her that I didn't say anything like that and it's mone of my business about her relationships. But a day later she said "why did you lie" and I just didn't want want get involved and said well I'm confused now but I'm sorry. I don't think it's best if we hang out for a bit etc. (Which is fine because she isn't even in my main group of friends she was just a good friend I had outside of that). She said good and a thought that was it. However, the next day at school, she started standing really close to me and my friends where we were stood, talking (like half a meter, it was concerning) and I could see her constantly turning to look at me in teh corner of my eye. I just ignored ignored because I'm sure it would blow over. Yet next week, a friend if mine said oh at Braighlrigh was gossiping about you behind your back. And I said well that's annoying yet she's being hippocritcial is that's what she claimed I did but oh well, it didn't affect me directly, she can do what she wants. I continued to ignore her because eif she wanted to talk then she can approach me but U have other, better friends so uts fine. I haven't spoken about her once (not yo her friends or anyone else) and it really was a thing of out of sight, out of mind situation.
Cut to today where Connor snaps me saying, somethings happening. I said in what way? He said Braghleigh added me... I said OK... and he said that she told him all of what happened and he wasn't picking sides yet. Which kind of annoyed me because me falling out with Braigheigh has nothing to do with him and now she's dragging in out. So I told him, you're great but it has nothing to to with you. And he agreed. But I can't say that I went into a shop with my family and just started stressing (to the point where tears started started fall unwillingly). And I began to feel sick. This only happened once before when Braighleigh said Connor looked fit in a photo and whilst I felt sick for the rest of the day I also pushed it to the back of my mind because she was in a relationship.
Now I know that I can't control either of their actions, they're both poeple in their own right because U really know what I want to do. I want to move on from this guy that I'm left crying over but can't seem to do it. Like I don't know what to do and haven't even been in a situation where I've liked a guy like this or this much. It genuinely make some feel ill and don't know what to do. Could someone give advice. Please and thank you :)

Aaaand here I am again.
My last update was on the Monday after the last market, and there had been no communication from anyone involved. Now in the meantime, Rob texted with Henry about how sad he was about the situation and that he'd had an argument with Sheryl because of it. He still didn't ask about our side in all of that, and he said something to the effect of me and Sheryl being equally to blame, which really rubbed me the wrong way. Huh, wonder why?
Last weekend was the first market the group attended without us, and as promised, my little spy made her report. Special thanks to you, love, I know you're reading this. So, I'm adding a new character to the cast: Lucy, Henry's oldest daughter.
So, Lucy came up to the camp and was hugged by Kathy and Amy first. Then Rob noticed her and hugged her too. Sheryl got that pinched look again and didn't say anything. Later on, Lucy was talking to Rob privately and he told her that he was sad we weren't there and that everything was kinda shitty right now. Lucy told him to talk to us again and he got a little teary-eyed. Still hasn't called either of us though.
It started raining again and Lucy spent some time talking to the girls when Sheryl came back and was pissed because she'd gotten wet on guard duty. Fun fact: many organizers ask people from the camps to help out with the markets, in this case, with “guard duty” (which usually means standing around and talking shit, mostly). Which had absolutely been Henry's thing, he loves interacting with people. Now, since we didn't attend on very short notice and duties had already been assigned, I guess Sheryl thought she'd try to fill Henry's role. Seems like it didn't go to plan. Schadenfreude is a beautiful thing.
Anyway, Lucy had left her cloak in Rob's tent and went to get it. Sheryl came after her and told her that the girls had told her who Lucy was, and how nice it was to see her. Then she told her when the next markets are, and that it would be great to see Lucy there too. Lucy said it came across as slimy.
Funny thing is: remember how I mentioned our wedding in the last post? Our very small wedding, that Sheryl attended? Yeah, of course Lucy was there too, she was my flower girl ffs. And she wore the same (unique) dress to the wedding and to the market. But Sheryl needed the girls to tell her who Lucy is. Hm.
Rob and the girls asked Lucy to relay their greetings to us. And that's the end of it. No one from the group reached out to us. We aren't going to, ball's in Rob's court now, and he can be sad all he wants, I'm not gonna dry his tears for him.
So, unless a miracle or something happens and Rob gets his head out of Sheryl's whatever long enough to call us or something, this story is over. They'll either sink or swim and we'll do the same. I don't care if that makes me a bad person, but I hope they'll sink.

Hello! Jokes aside from my title, I can tell a server if my order isn't correct on my own and I like pickles. However, I hope that paints a good picture to start with on what type of person I'm looking for. Also sorry, but not sorry for this being a book.
What/Who I'm looking for:

• Generally more assertive and independent because I'm more the opposite from the former and the same on the latter.
• Someone who will mostly have my back when I'm going through a difficult time, because I will sure as hell do the same in return.
• Someone who actually wants to make decisions as equals.
• Someone that is good at conveying what they're thinking/how they're feeling.
• I value kindness/compassion, honesty, rationality, and curiosity above all else.
• I'm just gonna put an arbitrary age range of like 22-33 as a guideline, but it's just that, a guideline.

What I bring to the table in return:

• Very carefree in things like decor, room arrangements, etc.
• I think I'm thoughtful and tend to do little stuff like make sure I ask if someone wants something on my way home.
• I also do my best to be observant, but realistically also sometimes miss really obvious things.
• I like making sure people I care about are taken care and use the previous traits to do that.
• As above, I'm independent and that's is also true in the financial department.
• Open to relocation, as I'm not really tied down by anything.

Possible deal-breakers:

• I'm somewhere around average-looking and currently chubby or fat, though that is improving and something that I have made and am continuing to make progress on.
• I'm like 99% certain that I never want any kids. Pets are a go, and I currently have some. I offer pictures
• I'm generally pretty left-leaning politically, but I'm pretty moderate.
• Probably the most important one is that I don't really have all my shit together. I'd say it's probably about 75% of the way together and I'm always working to improve that number.

Personality-wise(I wrote these last couple sections as paragraphs, sorry):
I'm fairly rational and honest. I talk way too much sometimes, especially when I'm passionate about something or excited. I do like alone time, or just sitting in silence together. I try to keep things lighthearted most of the time and I laugh at a giant amount of stupid things that probably aren't that funny. My humor is pretty cursed because I find some dark humor funny and just internet humor in general. I'm pretty whimsical and often like to try new things. I get really focused on things for a little while, then I kind of move onto whatever takes my attention away. Because of that, my hobbies are kind of a revolving door a lot of the time. I think my worst trait is that I sometimes genuinely have a hard time understanding people and their decisions.
Hobbies:
For my hobbies, it's all just kind of nerd hobbies for the most part. Most of my free time is spent playing video games with the occasional watching or reading something in between. I actually like and follow sports when I feel like it. Said sports being baseball and football. Despite being ingrained in internet culture, I do touch grass regularly. Some things that I'd like to do, but refuse to do alone are things like hiking and traveling. I also don't know if I'd really consider it a hobby, but I exercise.
Physical appearance:
I'm about 5'7 or 67 inches. I've got the old man balding genes, so I keep my hair rather short. I also keep my facial hair around as short. Both of which are brown, though my face has some other colors mixed in. I'm pretty broad. I'm overweight and working on it, as stated above. I have hazel eyes, but they usually like 90% brown and 10% green.
Finally I'm just adding a thank you for the presumably low amount of people that actually stuck around until the end. If you've somehow made it this far and decide to not reach out, good luck on your search!

I did a bit of searching on Reddit, but I don’t see a whole lot of feedback on either!
If you’re using Bioboost / Bioboost+, glutathione or any of the amino acid boosters (GAC, GACLIV) can you provide some insight on what your experience has been with them?
I use Bioboost+ a few times per week (I’ve heard mixed things about using anywhere from once per week to 3 times!) and I can’t say I notice a difference.
I’m curious about trying other “boosters” but would love to hear your feedback.
Thank you!

So, been with my guy for 17 months , myself (44F) him , (50M) goes on social media and post occasionally,
I’m listed as his GF, I post to his page at the very least once every few days , mostly of photos of the things we do saying how much we had fun etc.
And of course, I love him,
The issue is… and has anyone experienced this?!?
I’ve had people , friends at first , asking why he never responds to my messages I post, after I explained to them he isn’t on very often etc. they insist he should at least comment when he is on , I’d say it’s at least once briefly every few days to a week . , but left it at that, And Rando’s some at first trying to persuade me to go out with them, they would be more attentive ?! Others just saying things like , your not dating anyone so stop lying… so I get frustrated, I mentioned quiet a few times mostly when people start messaging me again telling me he is “stepping out “ if he can’t respond to a little display of love . Etc.
He says he doesn’t feel the need to display his life to the world , he doesn’t have to prove our love to anyone etc.
I think it just be nice for him to be like , Babe, I got you, and just post something lovingly.
But nope, so today was the last straw, I told him again(yesterday ) someone was saying something in regards to a sweet picture with lack of his comment again.
And today I posted a few pictures of him with messy hair . Which irks him,
He went on and said something funny about hiding in a closet, no response to the sweetest picture of us . So I deactivated the account.
I’m just tired of whomever is being an asshole , and I have no patience or interest in hunting whom ever it is down, tried before and got know where.
My account used to be public, I restricted it to friends of friends : Am I overreacting wanting him to just comment occasionally, just to have my back to stop the asshole comments ?

I know a lot of people have posted about it before, but something that REALLY strikes me, specifically because I have had to deal with it for years in my own family, is how they say she's like a "supermom" and they don't understand how she even has the time to sleep. My family are almost all diagnosed or should-be-diagnosed bipolars with heavy alcoholism. I'm not bipolar myself, but I talked to one of my cousins who is and she literally also described herself as feeling like she was a "supermom" and even told her son that "mommy has special superpowers where she doesn't need to sleep sometimes."
Today, she's doing a lot better and is medicated. But a lot of other members of my family who either have a diagnosis for bipolar and refuse to take medications or who just flat out refuse to see a professional at all cover it up with alcohol. I think the family all knows for sure but downplayed it a bunch because that's exactly what I see in my own family (except, as far as I know, nobody has ever had such severe consequences from it).
The most telling point came in that elevator scene where daniel and jay are obviously very tense in each other's presence and she goes out and smokes cigarettes that she's been keeping a secret from the family, which Jay isn't even the perfectionist that Diane supposedly was and she's working hard to cover her vices as well.
I believe everyone knew she drank. I'm sure even the children knew, just didn't understand the gravity. So taking hours to get back probably didn't set alarm bells, especially if, like a lot of people have hypothesized, her and Daniel had a big fight and he left early.
The big thing concerning the family is that when you are close to an alcoholic you're aware that there's different ways of being an alcoholic. What most likely happened was a binge drinking episode combined with smoking weed. People are saying maybe she never combined the two and didn't know the effects, but honestly I think it's possible that the weed and alcohol, combined with a manic state (which can also induce delusions and hallucinations by the way, especially if you have psychosis, totally possible in combination with bipolar).
The thing about bipolar psychosis is that, even if you're predisposed to it you may never actually go through it unless an extremely stressful event occurs (such as Daniel might have threatened divorce, destroying the image of perfection she's worked so hard to attain as well as leave her a single mom). Something like that could induce psychosis, possibly something she underwent for the very first time leading to a binge drinking episode and choosing to combine weed with the alcohol.
So, in a way, yes that isn't like her at all. They may have all been aware that she had bipolar qualities, but they may not have been educated enough to understand that something like psychosis could be triggered in someone with bipolar and possibly lead to such a tragic consequence. Daniel seems to be in denial, most likely because he did something that sent her off and he could've at least driven off with some kids but saddled them all with her (like that's a lot of kids all in one car, even for a minivan, when there's another adult!!)
There are so many crime shows and documentaries that I watch that I just think "wow, if they had been treated by a mental health professional this wouldn't even exist" and this is one of them.

I was asleep one night with my boyfriend, and I woke up to him trying to make advances to which I told him no, I was too tired and wanted to sleep. He stopped for a while and the next thing I remember he was inside of me. It did not feel comfortable for me at all and at this point he says “I know when someone doesnt want to f***.”, pulls out and rolls over. My boyfriend is aware of previous sexual assault Ive experienced in the past, so we’ve had discussions about consent and any other time I decline he does not proceed. I dont know what was different this time.. but anyway I felt really confused about it as someone who has gone through sexual abuse in my previous relationship and as a child from a family member, and I stopped having sex with my partner to try to work through it on my own- and also because I just could not get myself to feel aroused after the incident. It gave me flashbacks. I opened up to my therapist about my experience, and she said “let me first say hes not wrong. well, he probably shouldnt have done that but thats what people in relationships do. his behavior isnt odd and he isnt wrong. in relationships people have sex.” to which i said “even when i expressed i didnt want to and didnt give consent?” she said “yes. what he did wasnt wrong, because he’s your boyfriend.” She even laughed at some ppints trying to make jokes, telling me not to ruin my relationship just because “of my past trauma.” Then she says we will move on to another topic of my trauma next week. Basically, youre overreacting, dont ruin the relationship, and next subject. I almost self harmed today because of the cold things she said to me. i dont know how i feel right now.

This is going to be more of a vent so I'm sorry if you're here reading until the end...
M25 - I've always felt like sex is something you'd do with someone you feel comfortable with. Not necessarily limited to marriage but at least for there to be some kind of bond/connection between one and their partner. This is something I've always firmly believed it.
I would say a less than a handful of times have I had someone close want to sext with me and honestly, I felt the closest I've ever been with them (one online relationship and one online close friend). I've never when on a date, never held a girl's hand, kissed, etc. Even now, the closest I'd say would be wrapping my arms around family and friends for a hug so you can imagine how much the sexting with them meant to me. To actually feel wanted and desired in some way, even though things ended badly in both cases. One of the side effects had left me insecure with my body. I've never been the type of guy women would find physically attractive, mainly because I'm extremely short at 5'2. But adding more parts of myself to be insecure about has left my confidence almost non existent.
Lately, the loneliness has been hitting me hard to the point where I'm trying to seek validation by posting nudes and hoping for some positive feedback which is nice at first but it eventually fades away. The other would be seeing if I can sext with strangers to feel some level of desire but after the post nut clarity, I feel deeply like shit... Getting caught in the moment only to come to my senses of how pathetic I really am. If I ever crossed paths with them in person, they wouldn't even consider me as a man or give me the time of day. And I just get buried in my thoughts of how I'll never be what women would want and if I just so happen to get lucky and meet someone, that it wouldn't last because I wouldn't be able to meet their sexual needs or desires.
The combination of everything makes me wish I could abandon my morals and go out and see if I could find someone who'd be interested in sleeping with me. To be able to at least give it a go and learn as much as I can in being able to give someone pleasure. I want to learn how to how to give someone pleasure, get as good as I can and then I feel it'd be a bit more confident in what I can and can't do. That way if I ever do meet someone, I at least would be able to give them the pleasure they deserve. But then it all spirals down with what if this or what if that. Sigh... I just wished that things were different.

We are staying in an Airbnb for a week while we prepare to move across country. It’s our first time ever using this type of thing. It’s a 3 bedroom 2 bath home. Upon arriving everything seemed to be good. The house is clean and kept. We arrived 05/17. Yesterday while washing some dishes the kitchen sink began leaking a lot and quickly created a puddle on the floor in front of the cabinet under the sink. I turned the water off and put a towel down. I then texted my husband to ask what I should do. (Coincidentally my husband is a plumber)He said to keep everything off and he will check it when he gets home from work. When he checked it, turns out the disposal was leaking and needed to be replaced before the sink could be used again. The broken disposal was put in 2016. We immediately contacted the host and asked if they would like to have my husband fix it or if they would wanted to call a plumbing company themselves. We gave our contact number and asked them to contact us. They did. After calling my husband they decided to have my husband fix it. They also asked for a couple photos. My husband had to put in a new disposal. He took before and after pics and a pic of the new disposal box. He then contacted the host again and gave them the pics and update. The hosts response was thanks and we’ll leave you a good review. That was the end of the exchange. Am I wrong to be upset that they mentioned nothing of payment/reimbursement. Are we as guests of the Airbnb obligated to pay for this repair and the new part out of our pockets? My husband says he doesn’t want to cause any issues and to just let it go. Please give me your opinions.

As I said in the title- when my boyfriend gets a headache (his are very, very, very painful and long lasting) he becomes very irritated with everything I do and gets really mean- he isn't like that when he isn't in pain so I'm 99% sure it's linked to the headaches- I thankfully don't get the same headaches like him but when I do they're still pretty bad- however, I've never had it so bad that I act mean to anyone but I don't know if that's normal of someone with frequent migraines.
I also would like to know, what are things that you would be appreciative of your partner doing when you get migraines and serious headaches? I ask him but he just tells me to stop talking or says that I should already know by now- all I want to do is make his pain more bearable because I love him, but because I don't suffer the same pain as him I don't know what could help him-
Any advice would be appreciated (also I'm sorry if this is off topic, I'm not sure where else to post this if it is) thank you in advance 🩷

I did a bit of searching on Reddit, but I don’t see a whole lot of feedback on either!
If you’re using Bioboost / Bioboost+, glutathione or any of the amino acid boosters (GAC, GACLIV) can you provide some insight on what your experience has been on them and your frequency of use?
I use Bioboost+ a few times per week (I’ve heard mixed things about using anywhere from once per week to 3 times!) and I can’t say I notice a difference.
I’m curious about trying other “boosters” but would love to hear your feedback.
Thank you!

I'll try to keep this short and concise. I used to struggle heavily with social anxiety and shyness, with the worst of it happening during my adolescence. Fast forward to my 20s of exposure, work experience, communication studies and therapy in my late twenties, I find myself trying to put myself in the shoes of others much, much more before I say what I'd like to say, given things like situation, context, and relational history; especially in terms of how they might feel with what I might say to them.
The key point is I've been asking myself more, "Would this sound like a normal message/thing to say in this situation and context? Regardless of the fact that I mean well?"
I feel like I ask myself this question a lot more due to a decade's worth of not being as sociable until the past few years. I'm hoping this sets me on a better direction for my interpersonal skills. Does anyone else do the same thing? How have these sorts of questions served you in your social life? Thanks!!

Finished my latest build, still tweaking here and there but mostly happy with it. It's on the plot NW of Brighthaven, and currently has about 725 tiles. Might have gone a bit overboard there....
I'm running my own private server so various limits have been increased; total tiles, height, etc.
You can see a ton of pics HERE.
Used admin commands to clip stuff into stuff. You can do some cool things like:
Place a fountain where it normally wouldn't go, and put a tree inside it
Put furniture under the pergola's, as it should
Put a pergola where it doesn't want to be, and connect a garden fence to it
Make a nice lighted centerpiece for your tables
Finally connect those damn hedges as they should
Put a working garden fence in the hedge 'door' where it belongs
This one is subtle but put a brazier inside the waypoint gargoyles to make 'em creepier
Park statues inside lights, or lights inside statues, for cool effects
Put stuff on tables, combine items, have gargoyles peek out of walls, etc
Combine a pillar, 4 fireplaces, and 4 gargoyles to make a neat furnace for your boiler room
Have the smoke stacks outside of the walls
Put a bigass fountain in the walls of your dining room to make it even more ostentatiouser
Any many more...
How to do that in case people are interested:

1. You need to be able to use the 'adminauth' command in the console to give yourself the admin rights. If you're running your own server you probably already know how to do this. I don't know how this works in the private game options.
2. Enable observer mode by typing 'toggleObserver 2'. This lets your character clip into objects if needed. You can disable it by typing 'toggleObserver 0'.
3. Place the item you want to move somewhere nearby, in the orientation/rotation you want it.
4. Move your char to the exact center of the spot where you want to move the item.
5. Place your cursor over the item you want to move and type 'teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self'. This will move the item closest to your mouse cursor to your exact location, clipping into whatever is there.

Getting things in the exact spot can be a bit tricky but there's a few tricks you can use to make it easier by binding the commands to keys:

console.bind c teleport ClosestUnitToCursor Self console.bind i toggleObserver 0 console.bind o toggleObserver 2 

This will bind the c key to the teleport command. The i key to normal no-clipping mode, and the o key to clipping mode. Use whichever keys you find handy. Hit o to go stand in the spot, hover over the item that needs moving, hit c. If the location is off enable build mode and move the item back, move your char a bit, and teleport it again. It can take a couple of tries.
Be careful because the teleport command will happily move whatever it thinks you selected. It'll yoink a growing plot out from under a flower, or grab a wall-fixed light from 3 floors over.
Note that you can move a lot of stuff, but not everything. Walls, windows, doorways, stairs, carpets cannot be moved. Neither can anything that goes flush on a wall, like vegetation.
Note that you can't disassemble objects, nor shapeshift, while you're in the clipping mode.
Have fun clipping stuff into other stuff!

I'm naturally quite curious and generally do ask questions to learn more about things.
Asking questions on Reddit, seems to get fully misinterpreted with people answering in rude unsolicited life advice, that was never to do with my question.
People irl say " ask questions if you're stuck" so I ask. I'm very careful to amend my tone and I've found no matter what, people assume I've taken something personally or that I'm being judgemental. When really, I just would like more information.
A casual example is recently I asked a tutor why so many people drink energy drinks and eat sweets in morning class. She responded by telling me it's rude to be so judgemental. But for me, I am genuinely interested in why certain behaviours are normalised with groups of people. Also I cannot eat sweets or tolerate energy drinks so I'm quite curious about those who can.
It is deeply irritating to be so misinterpreted and misunderstood over and over again.
I currently work in the MH & social care sector and asked a colleague why a service user was behaving in an aggressive way. I asked what had triggered it. And was met with " don't take it personally"- when I wasn't taking it personally to begin with and genuinely was intrigued what the triggers were.
Am I just asking questions wrong or is there a negative culture to asking questions?
As an audhd person, Its not my first rodeo with being misunderstood but the question thing, just confuses me.

A few years ago I researched this religion, I was 16 and I didn't look to much into it but I recently fell down an information pipe line to try and learn more. I bought a Qur'an and a Hijab after doing a bit of research.
I'm definitely no expert with the information, I want to learn more and I'm looking more into the aspects of the things that are okay or things that aren't.
I'm mostly worried about my identity/marrying into the religion/finding somewhere near I live where I can talk to more Muslims about it.
About me, I'm 18, almost 19. I am queer, genderfluid and afab. I'm white, raised in a half religious household surrounded by Christianity. I'm not sure if this is allowed or okay, I've heard multiple sides of people saying that the Muslim religion doesn't necessarily say anything against it, but I've also heard that if you are queer and you revert you just can't act on those urges or thoughts, that when you follow Allah, they are the only thing that can judge you. I've heard people say everyone's Journey and Relationship with Allah is their own and their connection to the God is not for others to judge.
I have no problem with falling into the woman's role with work and staying home, things like that. As long as I can keep my prefered name and have my identity at least be acknowledged and not erased, I would be fine.
I also don't want to end up being a bad 'representation' of the religion because I wasn't born into it, my parents were Christians who didn't practice fully.
I wanted to look into Islam because I like the values of the community, helping people and caring for your friends, I like the treating of animals and others even outside the religion. I like how accepting everything shows to be, I would consider myself a kind person, I try to compliment people when I think it will help them be happy, I try to donate if I can or help homeless people with food, I'm not sure if this is for me or if I could talk to anyone practicing the religion.
My roommates told me a little bit about it because they've studied religion. They told me how strict Islam was, how I might not be accepted into the religion because of how I identify. That women rarely have a voice and talk much about things that happen to them, like if assaulted, that she couldn't speak up in fear if getting called unclean. Also about how a lot of relationships can turn abusive if you get taken advantage of.
They were also bringing up to me that my health might not be able to handle the I tense fasting, I have an iron deficiency and some vitamin deficiencies that I need to eat and drink for.
I live smack dab in the middle of the us, I'm not sure where to go or what resources I could go to.

I'm going to greatly take advantage of the anonymity of the internet here and have chosen this sub because I don't want to be tempted to gossip slander or entertain the feelings if bitterness. There's alot of history between my friend and I we go back to child hood and now we're well unto adulthood. Our lives have always been drastically different. She's the one who prayed and prayed and stayed and stayed by me until I came to saving faith on Jesus. This is a debt of love I'll hardly ever be able to repay. I'd like to think we were like David and Johnathan. As I matured in my beliefs and walk I know we have come to differ on certain freedoms but I feel unity is still possible it says so in the Bible that "each is to be convinced in his own heart". My marriage is unequally yolked and things got pretty rough for a little while and I gave into the temptation to gossip about my husband and have admitted to such and sought forgiveness. In this repentance I'd made repeated attempt to curb any and all venting in our friendship and things kinda almost died off and I was ready to let it go since we had nothing in common. (Different points in life. Attend Different churches ect) we made effort to continue and things got a little better. She met a man who shares the same convictions and I'm happy for her. I'd been praying for this. However she's completely shut me out and has since started treating me and my marriage as less than. And it really hurts. I want to keep her as a friend but I'm not really sure how. I've tried addressing my beef per say and she just Shruggs it off. I'm hoping one day she will understand. I think it's totally possible to have friends that you can live life with and still be edifying and respectful to your other relationships and priorities. would it be better to walk away and love her from a far? And if I'm supposed to walk away should I rip this off like a bandaid before this shotgun wedding they have or wait until afterwards?

Hello fellow foot soldiers. I just wanted to make an informational post about snus cause it seems like its the new craze over in the US.
Some background about me: I was born and raised in Sweden where snus is literally more common than cigs. And yes I use it too and have for years.
I just wanted to come out and say that the use of snus is not 100% safe, that is a misconception ive heard a few times. Apart from the fact that they contain nicotine which affects your cardiovascular system, the additives in most snus will wear down your gums. Im talking literal chemical burns.
If you then also swallow that, which ive heard Zach do, you can only imagine what that would do. You are NOT supposed to swallow them or your saliva when you use them. Neither should you eat or drink with them in.
Also do NOT put 4 goddamn portions at once. Nicotine poisoning is a thing. This post is not a jab at Zach but man you gotta chill with those things.
Also the strength of them is on the backside. It usually says like 12mg/g or 14mg/portion. The dots arent reliable to see how strong they really are.
In summary, you can use it, I do too. Its way better than smoking, but use it "lagom" as we say :)

"Heya guys I am Brandon Sanderson pleased to meet you"
This line has been appearing without end in my dreams as of late. On the walls, glowing red on the insides of my eyelids, scrawled in coagulating blood on mirrors... I just can't seem to stop it. Well, you know how writing is, tee hee! The ol' voices only stop when you put pen to paper (not literally. I use a keyboard most of the time? Though I've heard most still use paper and quill from a trusted source.).
So, in order to appease them, I've decided that I should put Brandon Sanderson in my novel and have him say this. However, I'm not sure how to go about it. Do I literally put the guy, as if this were some isekai, coming to my fantasy world post-die, straight as he is, not batting an eye? Or do I just slap his name onto one of my characters and call it a day? (I'm worried the latter could be considered inauthentic. I've never read any of his stuff, but I've heard that if you do, you have to take him on as your patron saint, and as I mention below, I'm not the type to want to be affixed to a cross! Let alone by nerdy book-reading zealots...)
Also, I'm a little concerned about copyright. Is Brandon Sanderson a copyrighted character? Do you think they'd make the exception for me? I really wanna be published, so this is important, but I also don't wanna be crucified by the voices for going against them (they've been dragging it closer to the foot of my bed every 7 days to remind me who's in charge) so I need to find some compromise.
And just one last thing, all my characters tend to be really racist. It just happens. Write what you know, if you get my gist. I think it makes them more nuanced and really shows that not all racists mean any harm! But I get that the masses don't get this and someone from the legal team might be forced to issue a cease and desist because of all those angry fans who don't know what's best, or, worse, the houses would refuse to publish my special novel (this would be bad because I wouldn't get published). Assuming we get the earlier paragraph sorted out, how racist do you think I could make him? Maybe just some implications here and there? Or maybe it's okay if I do show don't tell and make him express his feelings through actions instead of walking up to the camera (I write so it'll be adapted into a movie someday, for context) and stating everything that composes him as the rest of my characters do?
Thanks for the help. Gee, writing can be tough, huh? Luckily we have each other.

I think my height is also something that helped as an advantage since ive heard taller people drop weight more rapidly and are more affected by calorie deficit
So i (24f) am 5'11 (yes i know 5'11 and f together sounds weird but whatever lol) and i dropped from 190 lbs to just 135 lbs in just 9 months. In metric for anyone who asks thats 180 cm 86 kg down to 61 kg. I basically just did it in the most simple and straightforward way i could think of,just straight up keep cutting and cutting calories every few days until you notice the weight dropping rapidly enough,ofc one of the main things was wanting to get rid of a less than aesthetic protruding gut (caused by binge eating during quarantine lol) and in general i felt all that weight didnt look proportionate to my naturally lighter,narrower frame (before quarantine i was skinny too,im not underweight or anorexic thats just how my frame always was naturally pre-lockdown) so i wanted to go back to pre-2020 me
Now im finally at 61 kg or 135 lbs,actually a few pounds under my usual weight pre covid of around 140 (63 - 64 kg),I'm happy to say theres basically no trace of the gut or excess weight left and i look straight as a line now lol. Anyways,felt sharing my progress would be nice,if anyone has any additional tips or questions go ahead,thanks.

It is sometimes possible for two narcissists to be together taking turns at which one has the upper hand or the power. It is possible for two narcissists to abuse eachother and claim and actually even believe that they love eachother more than most. This is probably one of the most dangerous, passionate, and broken relationships. These relationships take things to another level of trauma bond. One that you may never actually recover from because even after years and years of therapy that desire and love that you did feel for this person will continue to creep back in regardless of how many women or men you bring into your life and new experiences, surrounding yourself with family and friends and normalcy there will be an aching in your bones for this other person, and who is to say that person isnt or wasnt your soul mate the person that was made for you.
Hell just like that you both will be throwing out phrases of how perfectly imperfect you are for eachother, but no one else will ever take that place in your heart, and typically these people always end up back together. Maybe they went to jail and things were toxic and maybe they changed, or maybe they never changed at all, but usually in life things come in full circle. Especially these types of relationships. I think that people need to realize instead of crying about how if this person loved me they would never have hurt me, thats the farthest thing from the truth. We love people.
Sometimes we love someone that everyone else says is so wrong for us or they hurt us but we deep down believe they are your person. If you believe this in truth you are only hurting yourself more by not working at it to not hurt eachother any further. I wont say that all things are ok in terms of hurt some abuses will never be okay especially if they keep repeating themselves, however in many cases there is a steady flow of give and take in each relationship. Everyone craves attention from their person. Every person treats someone messed up at some point if they in their mind feel they havent been treated right.
I know we can all be a victim and all be a person who goes why me or i cant believe it took me this long to figure it out, however in life what will be will usually be regardless of how many times you break it off or get back together in the end what is supposed to be will always be regardless of the underlying names we wanna break down that person. (Abusive, Narcissisic, Avoidant Attachment, Anxious Attachment, Normal...lol what the fuck even is normal. there is nothing normal about us as people. Push us in to a corner we all have the capability of things that we wouldnt even think of ourselves.