I'm sitting for a new client for 2 weeks. Their requirements are insane. Cuddles all day while sitting on the floor, lifting him up every hour to pee, and give him enough "calming" treats so he doesn't get anxious.
This poor dog is a 16.5 year old Giant Schnauzer and can't even walk. I know he's in a lot pain and I don't know how to address this with them. They are so anxious and are fighting over the stress of caring for him, but are obsessed with him.
He really should be sent to the rainbow bridge and it breaks my heart to think they will let him die at home and in pain.
Is there anything I can say to them without shaming them???

Brooklyn was a shih tzu/bichon mix and had the most beautiful face. I got her at 3 months old in September 2011. She was right by my side through so many things in life and was literally my best friend. She brought my husband and I so much joy and was THE most amazing dog.
At the end of March, we noticed a mass on her face between her eye and jaw. We immediately took her into our normal vet however, they referred us to a specialist. We had to wait until 04/19 to get the biopsy done. On 05/01, I was given the horrible news that she had osteosarcoma. There’s no cure and it’s very aggressive. They told me 4-6 months. I was heartbroken to the say the least. On 05/11 or 05/12 she began acting lethargic and it got progressively worse in the following days. We made the heartbreaking decision and she crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday. She was 12.5 years old.
I am numb and I can’t stop crying. I cant even explain what is going through my head and how empty the house feels without her. I can’t stop thinking about her taking her last breath on my lap and how painful it was to let her go. I don’t know where to go from here and I am absolutely devastated. How can I continue my life without her? I feel completely lost. I love her so much and a piece of me is truly gone now.

I went to this ceremony this morning at OSU and was surprised at the turnout. There was an email that gave directions and parking info and mentioned that 90 families had RSVP'd, but it seemed like a lot more were there.
It was a little chaotic at first, so many people were crowded around the tables in front of the auditorium. There were pamphlets on pet loss and support and some cookies and ice water. There was a crowd around the table with the rocks for the memorial garden, so you had to wait your turn and then find a place to write your pet's name on the rock to either take home or place in the memorial garden.
The auditorium was packed, with people standing at the sides. They had a few support dogs that were very friendly. I was truly impressed with the service. It wasn't overly long and neither speaker mentioned the syrupy Rainbow Bridge. For that alone, I was grateful. It just seems to put pet loss in a category reserved for children and downplays the true loss.
Both speakers were great, with the first one having me, and several around me in tears over the loss of her two collies within months of each other. I felt bad for the second speaker who also was in tears and had to go on. She even joked about it. She talked about the significance of the connection we make with our pets without ever sounding like she was pandering. Following the speakers was a slide show with pictures of pets with some hilarious comments from their owners.
Bottom line, it was worth it. I was thinking hardly anyone would be there, but was pleasantly surprised to see so many others willing to take time to attend. Honestly, it seems to have outgrown the space and may need to consider something bigger in the future.

“Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks, even on the house he's never visited.
You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona—but not nearly so arid.
Don't wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes. Your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them.
You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.
Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion with a knife and five cranberries.
Don't lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid.
You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.”
from “Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell” by poet Marty McConnell
I came across this powerful poem and it deeply resonated with me. I wanted to share it here because I believe it encapsulates the journey many of us are on, navigating the complex dynamics of relationships with ex-partners who have BPD.
"Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks, even on the house he's never visited."
These lines are a clear reminder that stepping away from a damaging relationship is only the first step. The real challenge lies in staying away and protecting your heart from being pulled back into a cycle that might be harmful. It talks about creating a safe space, even if it means metaphorically changing the locks in your life.
"You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona—but not nearly so arid."
This passage celebrates the new life you've crafted for yourself. It's a testament to the strength and resilience you possess. Despite the vastness of the love you can give, it's crucial to ensure that this love is directed towards mending and enriching yourself.
"Don't wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes. Your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them."
This calls for acceptance of your past and imperfections. When people regret their choices, I like to say that no one wakes up and makes a list of ways they're going to fuck up their life. What became problems today were like impulsive purchases we made back then.
"You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic."
It acknowledges the irresistible pull we felt towards our pwBPD but advocates for setting and enforcing boundaries. It highlights how essential it is to be with someone who truly values you.
The poem concludes with a reminder to cherish your existence and not let grief or revenge overshadow your worth. It encourages us to transform our scars into symbols of resilience.
I hope these words bring some comfort and inspiration to everyone here ❤️

Sionia
Chapter 13
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It was an overcast day with a bit of fog as I exited the carriage for my morning constitutional. At the gate to our enclosure, the owner of the inn wanted to provide the morning meal. I agreed to bacon, eggs, toasted sliced bread, cheese and apple cider. The inn owner was over joyed given the fact that my party was an imposing fifty two counting the apprentice doctors.
I ate with Freya who was still looking after Charlie and making sure he ate enough. It did not escape my notice the look Freya gave me with the “I want a child” expression and attitude. I set that aside as it was obvious that Freya's and my relationship would accelerate soon but I wanted to pursue her without the trials and issues of hard travel with a large group.
Upon seeing Robert, I sought him out as he was talking with Hazel. I stopped short when I noticed their copper rings and general appearance. I then motioned to Robert as I stepped forward.
“I will send Gus and Lorna to get clothes for you two and Charlie. You also need to remove your rings and put them on a cord to hang around your neck so you can access it quickly but hide it too. Stay hidden in the carts until you change into your new clothing. If you are being sought, those searching will eventually take notice our group if not actually closely inspect our party for rings as well as any child of similar age. Just be cautious and go out of your way to stay hidden for about eight to ten days. Then you can relax. Just act like you belong to my house! Be a servant that does not have much to do. However, do pitch in here and there as travel is a strain on everyone.” I stated my wise counsel and order.
“We will do as you say Lord Wyatt. Where will Charlie stay and wear?” Asked Robert with concern.
“His new clothing will be non nondescript of a commoner and he will become just another one of my wards. He will wear his ring on a cord around his neck as well. Since he is my ward, he will travel with them and be under the same restrictions and protection all my wards have. Your duty right now is to support me as guardian for the young lad as I am in charge. Make no mistake on this matter! Challenge it and suffer greatly.” I stated with authority how things would be followed by a strong warning.
“We understand.” Robert answered with a salute and bow which Hazel also copied.
I sought out Gus and gave him five koper to go get commoner clothing that was a dark color and a second that was lite tannish brown. I made sure Gus understood the clothing would be bought from a shop that is not frequented by nobility for our newest trio and also to find slippers that would closely fit but not custom made. Lastly, Gus was to get basic grooming supplies for Charlie. With that finished, Gus and Lorna went to judge the clothing and shoe sizes they were to get.
Finally, I caught up with Freya again where we shared a quick hug and kiss that I hoped no one saw or at least only one or two persons. I asked Freya to continue looking after Charlie as he is the newest of my wards. I asked her to keep Charlie out of sight as I did not want any spy to get an easy look at him and to get a cord for Charlie's ring and hang it around his neck out of sight. Back at my carriage, I took out several copper rings from the strongbox which I took to Luke my blacksmith to have him fit all my people with rings denoting their service to my house as it needed to be done. I thought this would have the added benefit to further hide the trio from assassins.
With things set into motion, I asked Razor and Meowth to accompany me to the adventurer's guild office leaving the wolf kin brothers to look after the girls and Charlie.
Walking about a quarter mile from the inn, Razor stopped and put his big paw on my chest and pushed me behind him a bit. Meowth growled with a hiss which Razor also gave a very low grumbling growl.
“What is it?” I asked as I put my hand on my sword hilt.
“Meow Lord Wyatt. That tom in the black cloak a bad human fur sure. He kills for coin and does highway robbery.” Meowth stated with another growl and a Q sounding hiss.
“I have fought him before when I guarded a merchant through lands of Mag Mell. It was a hard fight against his mercenary friends. We won eventually but many of ours were wounded and killed. I want to rip his belly apart!” Growled Razor with his desire for revenge.
“He is a walking cat-tastrophy! I want to claw his eyes out!” Meowth growled again her own desire of violence.
“Watch him close. If he does anything threatening or tries to follow me, you have permission to deal with him however your wish. If he does nothing, just watch him on the sly without being obvious and do absolutely nothing! I do not need to be in a fight against possible dozens in the middle of a town I do not know!” I ordered with a slice of my hand through the air.
“Agreed.” Answered Razor and motioned for Meowth to move behind me to protect my back.
The mercenary did nothing and actually sat down to eat his morning meal as we past. The adventurer's guild office was just a small two story building about thirty feet by thirty feet. Inside was an open spaced room about twenty by twenty feet with four tables evenly spaced. At the back, was a counter that separated a staircase, a store room and an office from the front area where a fifty something man with gray hair stood.
“Welcome to Trino Adventurer's Guild office, I am Ronga. How can I be of assistance.” Stated Ronga with a salute and head bow.
“I wish to hire Zack Tally's party from Avalon for a guard, scouting and guide job.” I requested crossing my arms and made what I understood was the standard merchant's business pose.
“Zack Tally. Yes, I can send a floxis request but it will be at least a week before I get a reply.” Stated Ronga as he scratched the back of his head.
“I want Zack's party to met me about three to five millo this side of Avalon on the main road as I will not be waiting here.” I further explained what I wanted.
“That will require an upfront fee for those kinds of arrangement. May I ask who is making the request?” Ronga asked as he was writing the job request down.
“I am Count Ryan Wyatt.” I stated with a look that I hoped was incredulous.
“Count Ryan Wyatt. Wait. You are all everyone talks about these days.” Ronga stated as he looked up in surprise.
“Whatever, not interested in gossip of others.” I stated with a heavy frown.
“Yes, I understand. But tell me, did you really kill a war orc in single combat all by yourself while not once taking a blow that had injured many dark elves before you joined the fight to rescue them?” Ronga asked with undisguised excitement.
I sighed and said, “Yes, I suppose that is true. I am certain it is not as you imagine it.” I stated as I tried to keep my answer short and sweet.
“Yes, I understand. However, defeating a war orc in single combat is amazing!” Ronga stated as he could not stop his excitement as if he had met a legendary idol celebrity.
“Please, Zack Tally's party!” I stated again with my index finger thumping the counter.
“Yes, yes. I will send the filoxis right away. I will require one sceats upfront. How long do you wish to hire Zack and his party?” Ronga asked still beaming with his excitement.
“You know, I am not sure. I am traveling to Camelot. I have never been there before and do not know the dangers, roads or places to rest. Thus, the guide part. I am lacking in guards and fighting strength to deal with raiders and rogue mercenaries. I have already fought battles short handed. I just want to make sure I have more protection. So, ten days to two weeks at a minimum. Two to six months at the most. However, that could change once I reach Camelot.” I stated as I really was not sure.
“Yes, I have heard about you wiping out a nasty dishonorable mercenary unit that abandoned the army as cowards to runaway and join pirates.” Ronga stated with even more excitement.
“That is way over exaggerated and not accurate. I had Knights of the Sixth Order with me.” I stated the truth.
“Yes, yes. I heard they were drunk and you had to save them from being slaughtered.” Ronga continued his excitement that was now just getting too much to deal with.
I sighed and shook my head. I then hit the counter with my fist to get Ronga's attention.
“Just figure ten days to two weeks for now. Leave the contract open ended as I have travel to do after I leave Camelot.” I stated with exasperation.
“Yes, yes. That will be two hundred fifty denari for ten days. Should there be an attack by monsters then the pay is increased by half. Do you wish to pay here or in the city of Avalon?” Ronga asked as he was finally calming down from his excitement.
“Avalon. Circumstances always change and future is never certain.” I stated after thinking for a minute.
“Good. I will need fifty denari for the up front plus fracto twenty five for the job posting fee with the guild.” Ronga stating the bill's total.
With that, I handed over one scates and one peleno. I quickly realized that “Fracto” meaning fraction of a whole was an ancient Roman term on earth for decimal place with money or numbers. I then remembered I needed some mites where I handed over a koper for one hundred mites as that was all that Ronga would exchange.
“It was my pleasure to assist you Lord Wyatt. You are very welcome here anytime.” Ronga stated with a salute and a very deep exaggerated bow.
“Alright.” I stated and motioned for Razor and Meowth to follow me out.
Looking across the way and down the road back toward the inn, I saw a small merchant storefront with the same sign as the Green Trading Company of the tradesman's guild I previously had been to. Heading over, I inquired for another fully fitted out cart and desire to hire a stable boy servant who could drive a cart. About forty minutes later, I was introduced to an eighteen year old boy named Raulo Zukas. I learned he was previously the stable boy for the tradesman's guild and was recently trained to drive a supply cart. I also purchased a water cask, extra tin cups and two cart replacement wheels as I saw a cart with a broken wheel being repaired. I ordered the cart with spare wheels tied to the side delivered immediately to the Resting Unicorn Inn.
About an hour later, I had our group loaded up and heading out. The newest cart was solely for my people ride in. The carts for the Order of Knights was cramped given the sheer number of people now numbering fifty six in total with the newest additions to our group. However, the main reason for the new cart was for Robert, Hazel and Charlie. They would need a cart to travel through the city of Avalon as the original carts were already full of passengers, baggage and supplies.
The travel on the road south was steady and unsurprisingly boring. Pamba just stretched on her back to sleep where she actually snored which made me and Gus laugh. We continued on until little after mid day where we stopped for lunch. I was informed by Lars that Ivor had spotted three riders that apparently was following us as our pace was slow and florse riders should have overtaken us easily. Ivor also reported that they looked like soldiers or mercenaries. With that news, I informed Robert and Hazel. I then spoke with Freya to insure that Charlie hid himself as much as possible. I also gave two of my extra swords to Freya's remaining girls from Asgardia for their reputation as fighters was well known.
When Big Jake and Jason was announcing meal ready to be served, the Mercenary riders came up quickly and camped on the opposite side of the road where they began to eat cold rations. It was obvious that they were looking our party over closely. I had to stop Razor whose fur stood up as I recognized the mercenary from Trino.
“Razor, do nothing unless they cross the road.” I ordered for I wanted them to get a look.
“I do not like it but as you command.” Razor said as I realized he was actually considering on acting against my orders.
I had Lars post an extra guard to face the mercenaries to send a message of strength that even their little party would be noticed and opposed with serious force. When our party began packing up and loading back into the carts, the mercenaries also mounted up where they galloped quickly back toward the city of Trino. I sighed with relief as I suspected that they were looking for Charlie and had assumed he was not with our group.
Two days later, we entered into Monmu where we stopped at a very large inn called the Red Apple Tavern. It was similar to the one in Trino where it had wooden walled enclosures for large traveling parties to camp. Again, I forbid any in our party from going to the tavern as I did not want any drunken problems. I allowed the Tavern owner to bring out two casks of ale and one of beer. The meal was boar steaks, potatoes with gravy and green peas with diced carrots. The inn also had a filoxis message for me from the adventurer's guild letting me know that Zack Tally's party would meet me five millos from Avalon's north main bridge gate.
About two hours after our party had gone to sleep, I was awakened by noise and call to arms.
I heard Razor roar as and the carriage shook when he leaped off from where he was sleeping.
“Alarm! Alarm! Arm yourselves!” Called one of the guards on watch.
“Reeeearrr!” Screamed Meowth with hissing as it sounded as if she was in a cat fight back on earth.
Grabbing and putting on my weapons belt where I pulled the sig and readied myself for battle. I pulled back the window curtain to see what was happening as I could hear fighting all around. I first saw Meowth slashing at a cloaked person and then in a flash of incredible agility she jumped up onto attacker's shoulders taking him to the ground. A split second later, Meowth had ripped out the throat of this intruder. I then saw Razor off to the left had easily dispatched his man and standing tall over his foe was screaming his victory roar.
Looking around further, I saw one of my guards on his knee seemingly dazed with another holding a person at sword point who had been wounded.
“Men of House Wyatt!” I called out my predetermined code phrase which would alert me if fighting was still ongoing or if all was secure.
“Rah!” Called out my guards in unison acknowledging the fight was over and our group was victorious.
Stepping out of the carriage, I walk over to Lars who was checking on Greg who had blood streaming down the side of his head.
“Thieves, Lord Wyatt. Greg took a blow from a slinger's stone. Good thing he wore his padded head mail as all should. He is alright just stunned a bit. More of the mail cutting him than anything else.” Lars stated with a salute and double chest bump.
“Have Old Maude look at him just to be sure. Build up the fire over there and bring the intruder.” I stated and holstered my sig.
Before the roaring fire that brightly lit the enclosure, I began my interrogation.
“You will answer my questions quickly and without lies. If you do not answer or lie, I will let Razor slowly rip you to pieces after he removes your tongue so you can not scream.” I threatened the thief and pointing to Razor's blood soaked claws.
The thief's eyes bugged out to the point that you would think they would pop out and roll around on the ground. Razor to his credit reached out his right paw with claws extended slowly toward the thief's eyes then quickly ripped the thief's shirt demonstrating the how sharp his claws were.
“I will talk!” The thief said as Lars had also put his thumb on the wound in the thief's right shoulder that was cut deep enough that the right arm was useless.
“Who are you and why come after us?” I asked as I drew my dagger using it to seemingly clean under my fingernails as a threatening gesture.
“My name is Andros. We are or were an adventurer party hired to recover a ventu volpis that was spotted with your group by its owner. We though we could slip in and get out without getting caught. Beast people are harder to sneak past than we thought.” Andros stated as he looked at the ground unable to face me.
“The ventu volpis is my companion and has never been someone else's property! Who hired you?” I stated then asked threateningly with my dagger pointed at Andros.
“The guild office has that information. We were told it was a noble of significant authority who wanted to keep their name secret. The pay was very good at three gold.” Andros stated shaking his head.
“We will go to Avalon and see if your story is true. I am sure the guild has harsh penalties for rogue adventurers who do crimes under the guise of a legit job.” I stated as I sheathed my dagger.
“I know. Ten years hard labor often in a dwarven mine. If you are lucky, working on stone walls or laying brick on roads.” Andros stated as he shook his head realizing what his fate would be.
“Have Maude look after his wound so he does not die before we reach Avalon. Once done, tie his hands and feet. He will ride with the baggage with a guard. We will deliver him to the adventurer's guild in Avalon tomorrow. Now, lets get back to sleep. Well done, men of House of Wyatt!” I stated my orders and praise of my guards.
“Rah!” Shouted the guards in unison.
Just as the first sun was peaking out, I had everyone woken up and having the morning meal. The owner of the inn made breakfast of bacon and eggs with bread toasted over an open fire, fresh churned butter, apple sauce and apple cider. The sheriff of Monmu came to collected the dead bodies and he took my statement as to what happened. The sheriff wanted to take Andros into custody but I refused stating I was taking him to Avalon to know the truth. The sheriff just shrugged and left.
A little over an hour later, our party was back on the road and heading mostly southwest and down to the river Paradise. It was about nine hours travel from Monmu to the city of Avalon. We made good time and stopped for lunch about six hours later as the suns were reaching their zenith of mid day. I had Big Jake and Jason make sandwiches for everyone as I did not want to spend two to three hours for lunch. We were back on the road over an hour later.
It was late afternoon early evening when I was informed by Ivor that there was heavily armed and well kitted out adventurer group sitting on the side of the road ahead. I asked Lars to have Nick, a scout and point man for our party, inquire if this armed group was Zack Talley's party. Once Nick gave the affirmative sign, I had our little train pull well off the road.
Exiting the carriage I was flanked by Razor, Meowth, Lars and Ivor as I approached Zack Talley's party. Nick and Moe then bracketed the ten adventurers.
“I am Count Ryan Wyatt.” I announced as I approached the group.
A golden haired well muscled man in his late twenties stepped forward.
“I am Zack Talley and leader of this group called the Keepers of the Blood Oath.” Zack stated with a salute and bow followed by a sweeping arm toward his party.
“It is good to meet you, Zack. I find that I have need of your services.” I replied with a slight nod of my head.
“It is an honor to work for one with your reputation. Let me introduce my party. Here is Mi a dog kin from Argosa. She is my right hand and our tracker. Fang is a jackal kin from the Far Islands and our scout, Leonardo a lion kin from Amazonia is a melee fighter, Brent is a shield man from the Blue Mountains, Dagmar is from Shambala who is our negotiator and in charge of procuring supplies. She is excellent with the bow. Kia, Ollie and Ozzy are brothers from Yis so they are expert florse riders. They are very skilled with lance and good with a bow and sword. Lastly is Todd a master swordsman who served in the army as a vanguard attacker. Todd like me is from Avalon. I am master of the sword and bow and was a sergeant in Duke Boasag's levied army. I am the fifth son of a baron and do not have any title or lands. So, I became an adventurer.” Zack introduced and explained everyone's skills and background.
“Very good. I am traveling to Camelot to meet with the king. I have many wards under my protection from up north that I am escorting south. I hired you because one of my wards needs guards to protect them as they have a very dangerous enemy in Avalon. I do not want to risk their lives as it would stain my honor. They will be riding in a cart through Avalon that you will be guarding. Find a good camping spot a good days journey from Avalon that is away from any towns, taverns or inns. I will catch up two days later after I finish my business. After that, you will guide me to Camelot and provide extra security. That is basically what I need from your party.” I explained.
“That is not a problem and seems a fairly simple job. However, the enemy you speak of must be very dangerous for you to hire us given your prowess and reputation. Worry not for we have never failed a job.” Zack stated with confidence and a short laugh.
“You will be guarding a cart with my stable boy Raulo the driver and house servants Rob and Hazel who are assigned to care for my ward and Jason one of my cooks. I ask that you do not speak with them unless it is absolutely necessary. I do not want them spooked nor have any bad stories that the king might find displeasing. Understand that I have quiet a few wards which the king will speak with. I will hold you responsible if the king is displeased.” I bluffed a threat to help hide Charlie's identity.
“Will you require us to hunt game?” Zack asked as you could see his mind hard at work.
“Yes. Just enough for your group and the five you will be guarding. I ask that you wait here a full span before you head out. I do not want this cart associated with our group in Avalon. I want people to think they are with you or you are helping them out of kindness. That should be everything.” I replied with a a quick half salute.
“Very well. We will do as you have asked. When you go to the guild, ask to speak with Marine. Tell her this is a level one escort. Marine will then collect the payment..” Zack explained with a salute and bow of his head.
“Good enough. I will see you in two days before nightfall. If we have not caught up to you by then, head to Camelot and leave a message with the guild where I can find you.” I stated my final instructions.
“Very well. Have safe travel and we will be waiting.” Zack stated with a salute and a bow.
After separating Robert, Hazel, Charlie, Raulo and Jason and their cart, Pamba suddenly refused to leave Charlie. I was shocked when she actually growled at me when I reached for her.
“OK, you win. You want to ride with Charlie then so bit it!” I acquiesced with a sigh.
Pamba then barked where she rubbed up against my leg before she leaped into Charlie's arms catching him off guard.
“I will care for her. So, do not worry.” Said Charlie with a smile as he was happy to have Pamba's companionship.
“See that you do care for her well. Remember what I told you and be a good boy.” I said with a nod of my head.
We headed back onto the road which was before a slight rise that gave an excellent view of Avalon in the river valley below. Avalon was both a city and a rather sizable island that sat where the Paradise River broadened out into a flood plain. This broad area appeared as a large lake with the city of Avalon filling up most of the island save an orchard section that obviously was kept as a food source should the city be besieged.
The ride down to river was nerve racking at times as the winding switchback road was built up with very steep drop offs to provide easy travel over the steep terrain of the river valley. I chose to read the book of animals I had purchased to keep my mind well occupied off the possible perils of crashing down hill into the river below.

My beloved dog died a few weeks ago and I can't still recover from it. This night I've had nightmatres probably because of overall stressful situations I've encountered for the last two days and I was waking up a few times. But my last short dream at the morning was different. I was sitting at the couch with my mom and watching tv. In the same time my dog jumped in as usually at the couch to sit at his favourite spot. But he didn't sat there - he came to me, sat close and was looking at me while wagging his tail and wanting my attention to pet him. He looked so happy and I felt stunned but I started petting him. The feeling was so real. Then my shocked mom asked me - is he alive? And I responded that no, he is sadly no longer with us, that this is a dream and in a moment I will wake up. But at the same time I've had a thought that what I'm seeing is real him and he visited me to show that he is still with us, happy and want to assure us that he is in a good health ( he died because of serious MVD) And then I woke up. It all felt so strange, but I wanted to share my story with you because I've seen a lot of posts here wondering if there is the other side of the rainbow bridge for real. Whether it was true or not I've decided today to believe and trust this dream. I'm feeling relieved and better now.

I lost my 9yr chihuahua mix yesterday, it happened so fast. Barry was diagnosed a couple months ago with heart diease by his primary vet and was put on a medication plan. He was over all doing pretty well until this week. Three days ago it was a normal day but he had blood in his stool, he went to the er and they told us the blood in his stool was not a huge issue his stomach just was having some inflammation. Although we were there for his tummy the vet was concerned with his breathing and heard crackling in his lungs and urged us to go to their cardiologist and make an appointment with them to have him reevaluated and put on another plan for his heart and possible lung issues. The ER vet was concerned that his current medication plan given by his primary was crazy, as far as she thought he was being overly medicated and was confused as to why his primary would treat his heart condition like that. We booked the soonest appointment with their cardiologist for June 6th and took Barry home with some meds for his for his tummy. The next day his stool was normal, we spent the day together napping and being little couch potatoes, although his stomach was better I could tell he wasn’t feeling well, his breathing was worse than the day before… I was just praying that he would get better and that on June 6th we’d make it to the cardiologist and he’d be put on a new plan and things would be ok. That night he was so restless we didn’t sleep, I spent the whole night with him laying down on the floor, he was surrounded by his favorite toys and even got some treats. As soon as the pet er opened I rushed him there and they did some tests. The medication that his primary care vet (not sure I mentioned but his primary vet is at a different location so the ER he had been going to is a different establishment) had been giving him medication that was counteracting, and one of the medications had a crazy dosage and led to him having fluid in his lungs. When we first got there he was rushed and put into an oxygen chamber to help regulate his breathing. With all the findings I was told Barry wouldn’t survive my 5 minute drive home being out of the chamber… It was time for him to cross the rainbow bridge. I got to say bye, he was calm and cradled his little body on my lap and arms as he had the catheter in..
As me and my boyfriend walked home sobbing, my boyfriend began to tell me, “ when people die sometimes they say they send signs to their loved ones to tell them they love them or their ok, what do you think will be your sign with Barry? What’s something that you’ll see that you’ll know is Barry saying hello.” I told him I couldn’t even think of it and I didn’t know, so the subject changed.. 10 minutes later a car had a ad for a home cleaning service called berry clean with a dark colored and white dog pictured… his name tag on his red collar read, BARRY. That was my sign! Unfortunately I can’t attach the pics I took of the ad because it says the community doesn’t allow attachments, but if you seem my posts on my profile for other communities I posted the pictures to a chihuahua subreddit. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it so I had to take a picture, I will forever remember that moment
Everything around me feels fake, I can’t explain or express how much I miss my baby, but I thought I should share…
Rest in love Barry 05-05-2016 - 05-16-2024

I walked a senior dog for a client three times a week for a year and a quarter. I got close personally with the client as we both had people with alzheimers in our lives. I really cared about her dog as he was a sweet old boy. When I learned she was alone at an emergency veterinary clinic (as her dog had stopped eating) I rushed to be there with them so she wouldn't have to be alone to get bad news about his wellbeing. It turned out that he had an aggressively growing, quite large, cancerous tumor in his peritonneum. She was advised by two vets that she should consider euthanizing her pup. She wasn't ready until two days later when her dog's back legs wouldn't hold him up anymore and she was back at the emergency veterinary clinic with him. Myself, a family member of hers, and the veterinarian all advised her to euthanize him at that time, before things got worse (he was a 13 year old large breed mix). She finally agreed and we all surrounded him (crying heavily) as he crossed the rainbow bridge. About a week later I received a card with a check from her for a significant amount of money. I've not cashed it as I feel conflicted. I was with her and her pup out of caring for them both, not seeking a payday. I still haven't cashed the check. Should I return the check to her, or accept it as the gift she intended it to be (she stated that it was a gift in her card)? She is an upper middle class retired individual so has means but is not super rich.
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I’ve been NC with my uBPD Mom since August 2019 and have since gone LC/NC with my eDad since February 2023. They have been divorced since spring 2020.
I haven’t been speaking to my eDad since February 2023 because I finally realized how crappy he’s been as the enabling father my entire life and needed some space. I’m working on a letter to vent all my feelings to him but given it’s a lot to process it’s taken me a long time (I’ve got a demanding job and have been in between shitty therapists recently).
I found out after getting a text from my brother this morning that my eDad put down my childhood dog yesterday (we’ll call him Arthur). We got Arthur back when I was in high school (I’m in my thirties now) and he was the goodest, most sweetest boy you could ever hope for. Honestly when people talk about how their dog is the best boy I can say without a doubt that Arthur was, out of all the good boys, the best boy. He had a heart of gold and not a mean bone in his body. He was very old and apparently his body just started to give out recently/he was in a lot of pain - so it was definitely was his time to go.
That being said I’m a total wreck. I haven’t had any updates on how he was doing since I stopped speaking to my eDad for over a year now (he was the one to give me updates after I went Nc with my uBPD Mom). And ever since my parents divorce in 2020, my Mom moved out and liked to take Arthur on the days I would visit home so I couldn’t see him (not a shock knowing her). So I realized that between the pandemic, my going NC/LC, and just being an adult that lives in a totally different state and can only visit sporadically, I’ve only seen him once or twice in four years.
I’m sick with guilt. I can’t tell you how much I loved that dog - I used to absolutely hate going home but the only reason I would still go was so I could see him and give him love. I’m so upset that I didn’t get to see him one last time before he crossed the rainbow bridge and didn’t even know how he was doing until now. I know without a doubt that the best thing for me is not to be speaking with my eDad right now but I feel so shitty. Arthur deserved all of the love and I can’t help but feel like I let my issues with my eDad get in the way of seeing him before he passed. I know he’s just a dog but I grew up with him and I loved him so much.
I’m sure that this is just sort of one of the trade offs you get when you go NC/LC. You get peace finally without their toxicity but you also lose contact with some things you don’t actually want to let go of too. But I still just feel so shitty and I miss my boy. I will say as shitty as my uBPD Mom and eDad are, they did love Arthur and spoiled him to pieces. He was well loved and I just hope he knew I loved him too even if I wasn’t there.

Stats:
-Destructive power:
-Range:
-Defense:
-Speed:
-Precision:
-Potential:
1,Mass Hysteria: Hive mind tattoo.
2, Burnin’ God's Light: Makes user invincible by burning down anything that tries to hurt him
3,Never Gonna Give You Up: Handcuffs between the user and a target.
4,Skillet Scream of Butterflies: Bio-armor.
5,Karma Chameleon: Chameleon tattoo as a pet, who makes your skin color change.
6,Lonely Boy: Pajama with a pocket dimension.
7, Deadwood The Mantel: A forest grows from the user and she can freely control it.
8,Pumped Up Kicks: Infinite amount of guns with whistle controlled bullets.
9,Break Stuff: Bullies people and uploads videos about them.
10,Space Ritual: GODDES OF THE UNIVERSE
11,Californication: The cooler California
12,Shot in the Dark: Controls anything as a projectile and can make them to ignore gravity for a second.
13,Black Hole Sun: Reverse sun, makes people insane.
14,STFU: Makes people suicidal by bullying.
15,Sad Machine Emo Girl Ex Machina: A shareable stand bound to a glove, makes holograms which can interact with the real world.
16,Panic Room Unearth: By attaching to people, it shows them their greatest fears and horrors until they die or learn to live with their fear.
17,Monster Dunkelheit: The angrier the user, the stronger it gets, untill the stand takes over the users body.
18,Dare: Makes dares and tests the grammar knowledge of people.
19,Royals: Takes over stands.
20,Girl on Fire Sleeping Sun: A lighter which summons a female humanoid fire.
21,Balls in Yur Jaw Athoth a GO GO: Beatle stand which uses spin.
22,Oh Green World: A crow made out of wines sharing nutrients from the user to anything around it.
23,PSYCHONAUT: Swimming in air by compressing oxygen.
24,Breaking Bad Baby Blue: Re-writes chemical component of (almost) anything.
25,One: Death as a sniper and puts people into vegetative state, vie a rifle.
26,Fortunate Son: Napalm helicopter (wow so creative).
27,Sucker of Pain Cursed in Eternity: Can make the user invincible at the cost of someone taking the pain of it.
28,Gloomy Sunday: Either heals all your mental health problems or stops your happy hormone making processes.
29,House of Ill Repute Scatter and Napalm Brain: A twin pair with motorbike helmets which gives them psychic powers and it gets stronger the closer they are to each other
30,Freak Show Atrocity Exhibition: 3 headed cassowary.
31,Sylvester the Snowman: An imposter made out of snow.
32,Thunderstruck: Flies that take over your nerve system.
33,I am Rich: It makes everyone to believe that the user is the most important, richest and influential person in the world.
34,Nelly the Elephant: A black elephant, which if makes any injury, it will become un-healable.
35,The Nightmare Came Back: Makes a traumatic person to come back as the stand.
36,Little Pig: Makes senses either too sensitive or too numb.
37,Death to Liver: Emits pure ethanol to the air.
38,We Don’t Sleep at Night Sex Murder Party: Makes the user to control lights and her voice.
39,Black Dog: An extremely powerful hound which can only be summoned in dark (4 YEAR OLD SPOTTED PITBULL GO!)
40,Stressed Out Eventually: Converts peoples mind into childish. (Jesus Christ I had an extremely bad taste in music)
41,Who Shot Ya? Ready to Die: A backpack with a little humanoid inside it dual wielding Glocks.
42,Broken Empire of Ants: Breaks down (almost) anything to living ants.
43,BIGGEST MAN Quintessence: An eldritch god chained to the user.
44,Keep Holdin’ On: Aim bot on a sword. (Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side! autistic screech)
45,Purple Hat: A cheetah which makes people to dance till end.
46,My Mind Space Fold: Lead Poisoning: Takes over people after gambling with the user.
47,Casin0 Space Fold: Distortion Makes people to loose their sense of time, space and their short term memory. (I swear I only referenced this because the cool name)
48,B.O.B.: Carpet bombing with homemade bombs.
49,Hentai Scum With Boundaries: Octopus bro, who gives the user heat vision.
50,I Like Your Hat: Comedic death.
51,Be Gone THOT Merciless Onlsaught:Destroys anything that would make the user to learn about the existence of stands.
52,Quay: YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE THE BODIES IN THE WATER
53,Bad: Spits up flies made out of a liquid which makes your blood into acid.
54,Anarchist Rumble: Delete rules and make things glitchy.
55,Takyon: Using tachyons as a weapon. (Veronica my beloved)
56,Electric Avenue: Makes people to achieve their goals by brute force.
57,Holiday: Makes people to see not real wars.
58,Ten Little Reindeer: Ten users who will die because the users before them come back to kill them.
59,Dr. Frankenstein Dr. Octagon: Makes chimeras.
60,You Are An Idiot: A pen drive which infects people to see the You Are an Idiot “music video".
61,Guillotine: An almost indestructible stand with high power, but it can accidentally rip out things (including itself and the user) from the dimension it is inside.
62,Eh: Punches stuff and makes poles.
63,Red Bone: Put people into dreams were they are living their best life, doesn’t last forever though.
64,Death Grips: Tortures people without actually hurting them physically.
65,Gotye: Painting set which affects the things it is used on.
66,Right Behind You: Spy TF2 with Deathringer.
67,Rollin’: Makes things to hover around the user like planets around stars.
68,ULTIMATE: The ideal form.
69,Unknown Brain: The more people know it, the stronger it gets.
70,This is America: Makes guns to appear from nowhere and can make gunpowder explode.
71,Year of the Snitch: For a year it reveals everything about something.
72,The Fever: An extra chromosome which when activates instantly kills the cell it is in.
73,Teen Spirit: A low power punch ghost, but if it gets damage it releases a gas which kills your frontal lobe for a time period.
74, To Be This Way: An arm replacement for the user and 11 more fists.
75, Brand New Pillbox Hat: Vibration amplifier.
76, I've Seen Footage: Remakes shock/gore videos.
77, Money Store: The user can instantly switch places with her 10 meter tall semi dog humanoid stand.
78, No Love: Makes effect of drugs longer and be more effective.
79, Deep Web: Makes hallucinations manifest in a physical form.
80, No Love Deep Web: Can only be summoned if both No Love and Deep Web effects someone, has abilities that depend on the type of drug the target used.
81, Hustle Bones: Shark teeth that can work as crack cocaine.
82, The Carpathian Black Flag: A battle cruiser ship with a small crew.
83, Punk Weight: A giant jellyfish filled with nerve and muscle poison.
84, Birds: Making prophecies, but water can break them.
85, Hacker: Rewrites the source code of everything.
86, Vamos a La Playa!: Summons extreme winds.
87, Bottomless Pit: Tar which took over the user’s body.
88,Spread Eagle Cross the Block: Spread objects cross a large area without changing their volume.
89 and 90, Artificial Death & West East: One finds the one who should be dead, the other kills them.
91, Fashion Week: Teleporting catwalk with explosive grand finale.
92, Runaway: Super Mario 64 TAS.
93, Restraining Orders: Cool hat mixed with seizures.
94, Whatever I Want: Colony of hands that steal whatever the user wants.
95, Blood Creapin' Pagan Terrorism Tactics: Targets bleed uncontrollably, but they can't die from blood loss.
96, Pearly Haired Lady: Goddess giving away stands.
97, Powers That B: Multi dimensional DID with infinite amount of random abilities.
98, Up My Sleeves: A last resort under the user's sleeve.
99, Billy? Not Really: Makes targets to see others as an old friend called Billy.
100, Black Quarterback: The dynamic duo of 2 braindead American football players.
101, Say Hey Kid: Random people are the slaves of the user for no reason.
102, Have a Sad Cum BB: Harasses people when they do anything that grants them joy.
103, Voila: Living shadow making a shadow army.
104, Big Dipper: Bear making gravity weaker and makes pagan religious or superstitious objects work like they are said.
105, Break Mirrors: Shadow monster living in the mirror, and it can be released.
106, Inanimate Sensations: Weirdmageddon.
107, Turned Off: Brain ignores the user and the stand but the subconsciousness is scared from it.
108, Why Lie?: Sociopath makes you his bitch if you lie to him.
109, Beyond Alive: Old lady steals life force and reanimates dead matter in an area.
110, Centuries of Damn: Controlled weather mixed with depressing look.
111, On GP: Universal null point, which can be only accessed if you know the user personally.
112, Black Paint: Parasitic stand which fuses the soul of the user with the target.
113, Death Grips 2.0.: Death Grips but world wide range, can only "attack" stand users.
114, King Kunta: Steals your legs if you get out of its area.
115, Trash: Digs holes that leave into literal nowhere and objects get braked down to atoms if get inside.
116, Steroids: 22 meter long dragon hiding in dead animals, waiting to strike down enemies.
117, Rainbow Bridge: A stand that resurrects the dead and doesn't let the user die.
118, Big House: House maquette shrinks people but lets inside spiders without changing them.
119, C418: Minecraft blocks.

Hi, I know the title is ambiguous but I promise to tell you everything. This is my first post and it’s like 4am, so please bear with me as I get through this. I worked at a kennel that doubled as a security company training ground with a pretty large k9 security guard company where I live. There are multiple different levels of dogs that would stay ranging from the scaredy cats to the mean machines. These mean machines were off in an area by themselves in a kennel type room where it’s no touch. We can help the dog but didn’t have to enter its space to do so. There was one in this section, he lived at the kennel because he was a “failed” k9 dog. I asked what happened. Apparently he doesn’t like crates and he shredded his handlers arm. I would be pretty angry if my life was comprised of 70% crate time to 30% outside time. Then you have handlers who have never even spent any real time around a dog until training, so add the green human to a powerful working dog, it’s not really the best ingredients for success…
Sure the dog gave me crazy eyes for the first 3 weeks but with the help of treats, my puppy voice and being brave enough to pet him with my finger through the crack, I won him over. Treats, sitting on the floor with him giving him lovies and looking him in the eye. I needed him to know I was never going to hurt him. I was able to get to a point where I could leash him and walk him. Sure maybe others could too but no one trusted him enough to do so. At some point the boss started saying things like “want him?” “I’ll give you $XXX if you adopt him”. “If you don’t take him he’s going to the rainbow bridge”. Now at this point I was upset and told the general manager and he came back saying that it was just a joke and he’s asked the person who made that comment to knock it off. So I believed him. Not too long after that I truly think he was mad I spoke to someone so they said I was no longer allowed inside his room as he cannot be trusted. These men who train dogs and humans to handle these dogs- for a living. They couldn’t be bothered to even work on his issues to adopt him out. So rather than do their job as trainers- they put him down. I was actually thinking of adopting him and was at the point I wanted to see how he’d react to my dog. I don’t use a kennel and my dogs go anywhere they please except the counter and tables so I thought hey, if he likes my guy, then maybe this might work. Well I never got the chance to even try because they advised me of the “new rules” despite hounding me to adopt said dog. How am I supposed to do that if I can’t work on him and acclimate my personal dog in a safe neutral zone. I was unfortunately fired because I stood up for people when they asked for things like pay stubs and to be paid on time. And because I questioned things that he did and spoke up when asking for things we needed to do our jobs right. He doesn’t like confrontation and will bend over for the people he deems are above him. It’s fine. I believe in karma. I found out later they told the employees that he was adopted out. Nope, they killed him. Because they couldn’t care less and he would just keep bringing new dogs when he had 11 living at the kennel already not working. Yes he took 11 rooms from paying customers because he’s too lazy to work with the current dogs he has or adopt them out. I understand the dog had a bite record. I specialize in aggressive dogs. I don’t fear them. I look them in the eyes till they submit. Now this is partially due to the fact I respect their space, but I love winning a dog over. Now for legal reasons and just in case they ever see this post and try to take me to court for telling my story, I won’t be telling you where I’m from or any details of the companies. I’m too poor to be sued right now lol. I had this dream that I would open my own kennel and put him out of business. The property I want is currently for sale and the kennel is already built. I have ideas for additions to add to profit but I don’t have 3 million dollars lol. I didn’t really have anyone else to tell this to and it mortifies me that I ever supported them so I truly did need to get this out of my system. It makes me so angry what they’ve done. Bunch of lazy cowards. If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. Also, thumper rules apply to comments: if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. And by that I mean please don’t be rude or judge me. You still only have a piece of the story and there are many more stories and details I’d like to give however I fear giving away too much will unearth who they are. Thanks again for the read.

Additions:

• January 2023
  • Back 4 Blood (PS4/PS5)
  • Devil May Cry 5: Special Edition (PS5)
  • Dragon Ball FighterZ (PS4)
  • Erica (PS4)
  • Hot Shots Golf 2 (PS1)
  • Jett: The Far Shore (PS4/PS5)
  • Just Cause 4: Reloaded (PS4)
  • Life is Strange (PS4)
  • Life is Strange: Before the Storm (PS4)
  • Omno (PS4)
  • Star Wars Demotion (PS1)
  • Syphon Filter 3 (PS1)
• February 2023
  • Ace Combat 7: Skies Unknown (PS4)
  • Borderlands 3 (PS4/PS5)
  • Destroy All Humans! (PS4)
  • Earth Defense Force 5 (PS4)
  • Harvest Moon: Back to Nature (PS1)
  • Horizon Forbidden West (PS4/PS5)
  • I Am Setsuna (PS4)
  • Lost Sphear (PS4)
  • Oninaki (PS4)
  • Outriders (PS4/PS5)
  • Resident Evil 7 Biohazard (PS4)
  • Scarlet Nexus (PS4/PS5)
  • Tekken 7 (PS4)
  • The Forgotten City (PS4/PS5)
  • The Legend of Dragoon (PS1)
  • The Quarry (PS4/PS5)
  • Wild Arms 2 (PS1)
• March 2023
  • Ape Academy 2 (PSP)
  • Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot
  • Final Fantasy Type-0 HD
  • Ghostwire Tokyo
  • Haven
  • Immortals Fenyx Rising
  • Life is Strange: True Colors
  • Life is Strange 2
  • Neo: The World Ends with You
  • Rage 2
  • Ridge Racer Type 4 (PS1)
  • Street Fighter V Champion Edition
  • Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror (PSP)
  • Tchia
  • Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Extraction
  • Uncharted Legacy of Thieves Collection
  • Untitled Goose Game
• April 2023
  • Bassmaster Fishing (PS4/PS5)
  • Dishonored: Definitive Edition (PS4)
  • Doom (PS4)
  • Doom II (PS4)
  • Doom 64 (PS4)
  • Doom 3 (PS4)
  • Doom Eternal (PS4/PS5)
  • Kena: Bridge of Spirits (PS4/PS5)
  • Monster Boy and the Cursed Kingdom (PS4/PS5)
  • Paradise Killer (PS4/PS5)
  • Riders Republic (PS4/PS5)
  • Sackboy: A Big Adventure (PS4/PS5)
  • Slay the Spire (PS4)
  • The Evil Within (PS4)
  • Wolfenstein: The Old Blood (PS4)
  • Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus (PS4)
• May 2023
  • Blade Dancer: Lineage of Light (PS4/PS5)
  • Bus Simulator 21: Next Stop (PS4/PS5)
  • Conan Exiles (PS4)
  • Dishonored: Death of the Outside (PS4)
  • Dishonored 2 (PS4)
  • Ghostbusters: The Video Game Remastered (PS4)
  • Humanity (PS4/PS5)
  • Lake (PS4/PS5)
  • Pursuit Force (PS4/PS5)
  • Rain World (PS4)
  • Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart (PS5)
  • Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration (PS4)
  • Rune Factory 4 Specials (PS4)
  • Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin (PS4)
  • Shadow of the Tomb Raider (PS4)
  • Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town (PS4)
  • Story of Seasons: Pioneers of Olives Town (PS4)
  • Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow (PS4/PS5)
  • The Evil Within 2 (PS4)
  • Thymesia (PS5)
  • Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition (PS4)
  • Watch Dogs: Legion (PS4/PS5)
  • Wolfenstein: Youngblood (PS4)
• June 2023
  • A Hat in Time (PS4)
  • Carto (PS4)
  • Conan Exiles (PS4/PS5)
  • DC League of Super-Pets: The Adventures of Krypto and Ace (PS4/PS5)
  • Deus Ex: Mankind Divided (PS4)
  • Dodgeball Academia (PS4)
  • ELEX 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • Far Cry 6 (PS4/PS5)
  • Forager (PS4)
  • Herc's Adventures (PS4/PS5)
  • Hundred Days: Winemaking Simulator (PS4/PS5)
  • Insryption (PS4/PS5)
  • Killing Floor 2 (PS4)
  • Killzone: Liberation (PS4/PS5)
  • Lonely Mountain: Downhill (PS4)
  • MX vs ATV Legends (PS4/PS5)
  • My Friend Peppa Pig (PS4/PS5)
  • PAW Patrol Mighty Pups: Save Adventure Bay! (PS4/PS5)
  • Redout 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • Rogue Legacy 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • Soulstice (PS5)
  • Tacoa (PS4)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge (PS4/PS5)
  • The Talos Principle: Deluxe Edition (PS4/PS5)
  • The Wild at Heart (PS4)
  • Thief (PS4)
  • Vampire: The Masquerade - Coteries of New York (PS4)
  • Worms (PS4/PS5)
• July 2023
  • Circus Electrique (PS4)
  • Dynasty Warriors 9 (PS4)
  • Dysmantle (PS4/PS5)
  • Fast & Furious: Spy Racers Rise of SH1FT3R (PS4/PS5)
  • Gravity Crash Portable (PS4/PS5)
  • It Takes Two (PS4/PS5)
  • Melty Blood: Type Lumina (PS4)
  • Monster Jam Steel Titans (PS4)
  • My Little Pony: A Maretime Bay Adventure (PS4/PS5)
  • Samurai Warriors 5 (PS4)
  • Sniper Elite 5 (PS4/PS5)
  • SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom - Rehydrated (PS4)
  • Snowrunner (PS4/PS5)
  • The Ascent (PS4/PS5)
  • Twisted Metal (PS4/PS5)
  • Twisted Metal 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • Undertale (PS4)
  • World War Z (PS4/PS5)
• August 2023
  • Ape Escape: On the Loose (PS4/PS5)
  • Cursed to Golf (PS4/PS5)
  • Destroy All Humans 2 Reprobed (PS4/PS5)
  • Dreams (PS4)
  • Hotel Transylvania: Scary-Tale Adventures (PS4/PS5)
  • Lawn Mowing Simulator: Landmark Edition (PS4/PS5)
  • Lost Judgment (PS4/PS5)
  • MediEvil: Resurrection (PS4/PS5)
  • Midnight Fight Express (PS4)
  • Moving Out 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • PJ Masks: Heroes of the Night (PS4/PS5)
  • Pursuit Force: Extreme Justice (PS4/PS5)
  • Sea of Stars (PS4/PS5)
  • Source of Madness (PS4/PS5)
  • Spellforce III Reforced (PS4)
  • Two Point Hospital: Jumbo Edition (PS4)
• September 2023
  • 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim (PS4)
  • Call of the Sea (PS4/PS5)
  • Cloudpunk (PS4)
  • Contra: Rogue Corps (PS4)
  • Dragon's Crown Pro (PS4)
  • NieR Replicant ver.1.22474487139... (PS4)
  • Odin Sphere Lefthrasir (PS4)
  • PAW Patrol The Movie: Adventure City Calls (PS4/PS5)
  • Planet Coaster: Console Edition (PS4/PS5)
  • Sid Meier's Civilization VI (PS4)
  • Sniper Ghost Warrior Contracts 2 (PS4/PS5)
  • Star Ocean First Depature R (PS4)
  • Star Ocean Integrity and Faithlessness (PS4)
  • Star Ocean The Divine Force (PS4/PS5)
  • Star Ocean: The Last Hope - 4K & FHD Remaster (PS4)
  • Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (PS4)
  • Tails Noir (PS4/PS5)
  • This War of Mine: Final Cut (PS5)
  • Unpacking (PS4/PS5)
  • West of Dead (PS4)
• October 2023
  • Alien Isolation (PS4)
  • Ape Escape Academy (PS4/PS5)
  • Dead Island Definitive Edition (PS4)
  • Disco Elysium - The Final Cut (PS4/PS5)
  • Eldest Souls (PS4/PS5)
  • Elite Dangerous (PS4)
  • FAR: Changing Tides (PS4/PS5)
  • Gotham Knights (PS5)
  • Gungrave G.O.R.E.
  • IQ Final (PS4/PS5)
  • Outlast 2 (PS4)
  • Roki (PS4/PS5)
  • Soulcaliber: Broken Destiny (PS4/PS5)
  • Tekken 6 (PS4/PS5)
  • The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes (PS4/PS5)
• November 2023
  • Dead Island: Riptide Definitive Edition (PS4)
  • Dragon's Dogma: Dark Arisen (PS4)
  • Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising (PS4/PS5)
  • Grandia (PS4/PS5)
  • Jet Moto (PS4/PS5)
  • Klonoa Phantasy Reverie Series (PS4/PS5)
  • Mobile Suit Gundam: Extreme vs Maxi Boost On (PS4)
  • Nobunaga's Abition: Taishi (PS4)
  • PaRappa the Rapper 2 (PS4)
  • Superliminal (PS4/PS5)
  • Teardown (PS5)
  • Up (PS4/PS5)
• December 2023
  • Buzz Lightyear of Star Command (PS4/PS5)
  • Gigabash (PS4/PS5)
  • Grand Theft Auto V (PS4/PS5)
  • Grime (PS4/PS5)
  • Mega Man 11 (PS4)
  • Mega Man Legacy Collection (PS4)
  • Mega Man Legacy Collection 2 (PS4)
  • Metal: Hellsinger (PS4/PS5)
  • Moonscars (PS4/PS5)
  • Moto GP23 (PS4/PS5)
  • Prodeus (PS4/PS5)
  • Salt and Sacrifice (PS4/PS5)
  • Shadowrun Dragonfall - Director's Cut (PS4/PS5)
  • Shadowrun Hong Kong - Extended Edition (PS4/PS5)
  • Shadowrun Returns (PS4/PS5)
  • Stranger of Paradise: Final Fantasy Origin (PS4/PS5)
  • Thrillville (PS4/PS5)
  • Thrillville: Off the Rails (PS4/PS5)
  • Tinykin (PS4/PS5)

​
Blog Posts:

• January 2023
• February 2023
• March 2023
• April 2023
• May 2023
• June 2023
• July 2023
• August 2023
• September 2023
• October 2023
• November 2023
• December 2023

​
For reference only. Titles may have since been removed from the library. Games approaching twelve months since added to the library may be at highest risk of leaving soon.

Hi, I'm looking for a great tattoo shop that can do a portrait of my beloved dog that passed over the rainbow 🌈 Bridge yesterday. I miss him so much

 0 0 Fallout4.esm 1 1 DLCRobot.esm 2 2 DLCworkshop01.esm 3 3 DLCCoast.esm 4 4 DLCworkshop02.esm 5 5 DLCworkshop03.esm 6 6 DLCNukaWorld.esm 254 FE 0 ccBGSFO4044-HellfirePowerArmor.esl 254 FE 1 ccBGSFO4115-X02.esl 254 FE 2 ccBGSFO4116-HeavyFlamer.esl 254 FE 3 ccBGSFO4110-WS_Enclave.esl 254 FE 4 ccBGSFO4096-AS_Enclave.esl 254 FE 5 ccFSVFO4007-Halloween.esl 254 FE 6 ccBGSFO4046-TesCan.esl 254 FE 7 ccSBJFO4003-Grenade.esl 254 FE 8 ccOTMFO4001-Remnants.esl 7 7 Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch.esp 8 8 HUDFramework.esm 254 FE 9 BakaFramework.esm 9 9 WorkshopFramework.esm 254 FE a PPF.esm PPF-HeavyFlamer-CR.esm 10 a MutantMenagerie.esm 11 b SouthOfTheSea.esm MutantMenagerie_BackwaterBeasts.esm 12 c AnnexTheCommonwealth.esm 13 d GoodneighborExpanded.esp 14 e SS2.esm PPF-NeonFlats-CR.esm 15 f TrueStormsFO4.esm 16 10 SS2_XPAC_Chapter2.esm 17 11 SS2_XPAC_Chapter3.esm 254 FE b Ownership Fixes.esp 18 12 AmericaRising2.esm 254 FE c CityAmbience.esl 254 FE d RadioactiveSignsAIO.esl 254 FE e NPSShopping.esl 254 FE f Kingsport Lighthouse - KingsVil.esl 254 FE 10 SS2WorkshopHUDOverride.esl 254 FE 11 BirdKiller.esl 254 FE 12 EssentialDrinkingBuddy.esl 254 FE 13 Fireflies.esl 254 FE 14 REFramework.esm 254 FE 15 Indubitable Ivy.esl 254 FE 16 CanarySaveFileMonitor.esl 254 FE 17 Eli_Display Shelves.esl 254 FE 18 NewPADisplay.esl 19 13 Homemaker.esm 254 FE 19 Bighorner.esl 20 14 AAF.esm 254 FE 1a Dogs can grab player.esl 254 FE 1b ChickensLayEggs.esl 254 FE 1c Fixed Gobo Effects.esp 254 FE 1d SavrenXCreaturesPackDlcREDONE.esp 254 FE 1e SavrenXLandscapeInteriorBuildingDLC.esp 254 FE 1f Wetness Shader Fix.esp 254 FE 20 FOLIP - New LODs.esp 21 15 PiperCaitCurieDialogueOverhaul.esp 22 16 A Forest.esp 23 17 Galaxy News Radio.esp 254 FE 21 A Forest-Base Mod Patch.esp 24 18 SS2Extended.esp 25 19 MODaquatic.esp 26 1a Stm_DiamondCityExpansion.esp 27 1b FogOut - Interiors - All DLC.esp 28 1c PreWarAtomCatsGarage.esp 254 FE 22 DiamondCityExpansion-eXoPatch.esp 29 1d BetterBostonAirport.esp 30 1e FLORA - The Fungal Forest.esp 31 1f SSTFungalForest.esp 32 20 MojaveImports.esp 33 21 SuperMutantRedux.esp 254 FE 23 BetterCoastalWaves.esp 34 22 The Train.esp 35 23 FaceMaxson.esp 36 24 TrainBar.esp 37 25 moreXplore.esp 38 26 Some Assembly Required.esp 254 FE 24 WhoIsTheGeneral.esp 39 27 CrimeTown.esp 40 28 gnEdits.esp 254 FE 25 GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-Crimetown].esp 41 29 DeadAirplane.esp 42 2a Immersive_Lexington.esp 43 2b AlleyEncampmentSettlement.esp 44 2c NoteRacks.esp 45 2d random stuff.esp 46 2e Believable Drumlin Diner (turret).esp 47 2f BetterFarHarbor_Open.esp 48 30 DeadlierDeathclaws.esp 49 31 Raider Gang Extended NPC (Fixed & Cleaned).esp 254 FE 26 4estGimp Edit - Raider Gangs Extended.esp 50 32 IcebreakerCDO-Piper.esp 51 33 WRVR.esp 52 34 ImmersiveBeantown.esp 53 35 W.A.T.Minutemen.esp 254 FE 27 SOTS - The Fungal Forest.esp 54 36 NukaRDC.esp 55 37 Radical.esp 254 FE 28 CRP Radio Towers 2.5.esp 254 FE 29 UniqueRaiderPatrols1.esp 56 38 DT_GunnerOutfitPack.esp 57 39 DTG_LeveledListIntegration.esp 58 3a CroupSettlerRescue.esp 59 3b LongFellowCabin-FarHarbor_Bridge.esp 60 3c PlaneWreck.esp 61 3d --abernathy--.esp CSEPLoadedBases.esp 254 FE 2a IntGrievingRaider.esp 62 3e Standalone Nuka Cola Manufacturing Workstation.esp 63 3f Forced Evolution.esp 254 FE 2b RansackedRelay.esp 64 40 Vertibird Faction Paint Schemes.esp 65 41 Eli_Armour_Compendium.esp 66 42 Nuka World Bottle Fix.esp 67 43 Cinematic Lensflares.esp 68 44 InGameCollectibleMaps.esp 69 45 SSTRagsPirates.esp 70 46 SSTTomsBruisers.esp 71 47 Toxic Raider Armour.esp 254 FE 2c Ack-Ack'sHarlequins.esp 72 48 ImprovedInstitute.esp 73 49 CourserCrusher.esp 74 4a City of Quincy.esp 75 4b UFOCrashSite.esp 76 4c Mirelurks Nest.esp CSEPTheExperiment.esp 254 FE 2d A Forest-AlleyEncampmentSettlement.esp PRP-SS2-Fixes-Ch2.esp 77 4d Atom Cats Power Armor Traders 10 hours V 1.6.esp 78 4e StopBangingOnMyHouse2.esp 79 4f ellen.esp 80 50 AtomsGloryThreads.esp JOTCPatch SS2 UFO4P.esp 81 51 SS2WastelandVenturers.esp 82 52 KingsportLighthouseLit.esp JOTCPatch AForest UFO4P.esp 83 53 Clean Water - Clear - Rads.esp 84 54 [SS2 Addon] SimSettlements SuperStructures.esp 85 55 Sanctuary Raider & Dog Removed.esp 86 56 FO4 NPCs Travel.esp JOTCPatch AForest AmericaRising2.esp 254 FE 2e Wastelanders.esp PRP-SS2-Fixes-Ch1.esp 254 FE 2f CoAPowerArmor.esp 254 FE 30 PATCH_SAR_ATOMPA.esp 87 57 FIXEDGoodfeels_no_DLC_needed.esp 88 58 More Smarter Companions Mod.esp 89 59 Ketaros_World.esp 90 5a EveryonesBestFriend.esp 91 5b SKKFastMinutemen.esp 92 5c TrueGrass.esp 254 FE 31 AForest-TrueGrass.esp 93 5d TrueStormsFO4-FarHarbor.esp 94 5e TrueStormsFO4-NukaWorld-FH-Compat.esp 95 5f ImprovedBoS.esp 254 FE 32 ImprovedBoSBoss.esp 96 60 ImprovedBoSEncounters.esp 97 61 TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsets.esp 98 62 TrueStormsFO4-EarlierSunsetsFH.esp 99 63 TrueStormsFO4-FarHarborExtraRads.esp 100 64 TrueStormsFO4-GlowingSeaExtraRads.esp 101 65 CF_AtomicWarlord.esp 254 FE 33 4estGimp - SotS Atoms Storm Atoms Glory Threads CoA.esp 102 66 CoASettlers.esp 103 67 MojaveImports - Combat Addon.esp 104 68 ImmersiveCovenantCompound.esp 254 FE 34 DLC04PackArmorFix.esp 254 FE 35 4estGimp - GOP NPC LL Integration Update.esp 105 69 _PAHelmetAlways.esp 254 FE 36 Crafting-GunnerOutfitPack-Standard.esp JOTCPatch TrueStorms FarHarbor NukaWorld.esp JOTCPatch DanseDilemma UFO4P.esp 254 FE 37 CityAmbience.esp JOTCPatch CityAmbience TrueStorms.esp JOTCPatch BetterGoodneighbor UFO4P.esp 254 FE 38 REPatch_AmericaRising2LegacyOfTheEnclave.esp JOTCPatch AmericaRising2 DLC.esp 254 FE 39 DiversePotC.esp 254 FE 3a UniqueAmoralCombatChallengers.esp 254 FE 3b UniqueIvey.esp 254 FE 3c FaceFixesNucleusCoA.esp 106 6a BetterSettlers.esp 107 6b BetterSettlersCleanFacePack.esp 254 FE 3d DiverseSettlersFarHarbor.esp 254 FE 3e FaceFixesCaravanGuards.esp 254 FE 3f BugFixSettlers.esp 254 FE 40 FaceFixesVisitorCenterSettlers.esp 254 FE 41 BugFixFarHarborSettlers.esp 254 FE 42 FaceFixesPackCaptives.esp 254 FE 43 FaceFixesVault81.esp 254 FE 44 DiverseCoursers.esp 254 FE 45 FaceFixesInstituteScientists.esp 254 FE 46 FaceFixesWastelandTravelers.esp 254 FE 47 Lost Soul No Hostility.esp 254 FE 48 LostSoulExpanded.esp 254 FE 49 Lost Soul No Hostility Expanded.esp 254 FE 4a DiverseScavengers.esp 254 FE 4b DiverseEnclaveAR2.esp 254 FE 4c RL_Recruit_Framework.esp 254 FE 4d Rescue Scruffy and Tink.esp 254 FE 4e Rescue Emmett and Toro.esp 254 FE 4f Rescue_Luna_Katana.esp 254 FE 50 HastyLetter.esp 254 FE 51 DiverseTriggermen.esp 254 FE 52 DiverseTrappers.esp 254 FE 53 DiverseRaiders.esp 254 FE 54 DiverseBoS.esp 108 6c JSChildrenoftheAtom.esp 254 FE 55 DiverseCoA.esp 109 6d ImprovedRR.esp 254 FE 56 DiverseRailroad.esp 110 6e NorwegianGhoul.esp 254 FE 57 DiverseGunners.esp 254 FE 58 DiverseMinutemen.esp 254 FE 59 Cait's Bandolier.esp 254 FE 5a UniqueL&LGang.esp 254 FE 5b DiverseRustDevils.esp 254 FE 5c DiversePack.esp 254 FE 5d DiverseDisciples.esp 254 FE 5e DiverseOperators.esp 111 6f MoveWorkshopItems-Capsafe.esp SuperMutantRedux_ArmorSmithExtended.esp 112 70 ExpandedSettlementBuildings.esp 113 71 BetterShackBridges.esp 114 72 ImprovedHostileFactions.esp 254 FE 5f DiverseForged.esp 254 FE 60 ImprovedHostileForged.esp 115 73 SS2_ruined_simsettlement_addonpack.esp 116 74 LongerPowerLines3x.esp 117 75 SS2_XDI Patch.esp 254 FE 61 Sim Settlers 2 Go Shopping.esp 254 FE 62 SS2Extended_OutfitInjectionPatch.esp 254 FE 63 SS2_DLCSettlerPatch.esp 118 76 IcebreakerCDO-Settlements.esp 119 77 Docile Radstags.esp 120 78 PreWarSafes.esp 121 79 Insignificant Object Remover.esp 122 7a DD_TrulyGhoulish.esp Mechanist's Lair without robobrain in chair.esp 123 7b Automatron Decals.esp 124 7c AutomatronDialogueFix.esp 125 7d SweetTooth.esp 126 7e 3dscopes.esp 254 FE 64 SRO - Syringer Overhaul.esp 127 7f ScrappableLegendaries.esp 128 80 AS_CraftableInstituteStations.esp 129 81 Pet - Call -Feed Dogmeat.esp 130 82 spacefiddle_Follower-Stealth-Distance-Fixes.esp 131 83 ResetHome.esp 254 FE 65 PetAnyDog.esp 132 84 LongRangeBulletHoles.esp 133 85 PlayerMarriage.esp 134 86 Move (Get Out the Way).esp 135 87 Killable Children.esp 136 88 Molerat_Disease_Immunity_PA_Hazmat.esp 254 FE 66 jdmCouchSleep.esp 137 89 NoTwigs.esp 138 8a Automatron Protectrons Expanded.esp 139 8b Nuka World Bot Fixes.esp 140 8c JunkCrafting.esp 141 8d More Cooking 1_1.esp 142 8e HumanMeat.esp 143 8f VaultPlus.esp 144 90 Eli_PlantPots.esp 145 91 DD_Spiral_staircases.esp 146 92 This is MY Bed (Extended).esp 147 93 EvilViking13_MinutemenMorale.esp 148 94 Lore Friendly Posters.esp 149 95 BrighterSettlementLights_LessHarsh.esp 150 96 BetterJunkFences.esp 254 FE 67 eXoMagazineShelf.esp 151 97 Interview.esp 254 FE 68 DynamicGlowingBeveragePack.esp 152 98 PoolRackFix.esp 153 99 BradbertonInteriors.esp 154 9a CriticalFX.esp 155 9b OWR_NWR.esp 156 9c ImprovedCaravanGuards.esp 254 FE 69 ImprovedGuardEncounters.esp 254 FE 6a ImprovedGuards.esp 157 9d RestorePAFrames.esp 158 9e ImprovedHostileFactionsEncounters.esp 254 FE 6b ImprovedHostileFactionsEncountersFast.esp 254 FE 6c ImprovedHostileNPCTravelPatch.esp 254 FE 6d ImprovedHostileSuperMutants.esp 254 FE 6e ImprovedHostileSuperMutantsSMRPatch.esp 159 9f Realistic_conversations.esp 254 FE 6f ImprovedRRBoss.esp 160 a0 ImprovedRREncounters.esp 254 FE 70 ImprovedRREncountersPatch.esp 254 FE 71 ImprovedRRStatAgents.esp 254 FE 72 ImprovedInstituteBoss.esp 161 a1 ImprovedInstituteEncounters.esp 254 FE 73 ImprovedInstituteNPCTravelPatch.esp 162 a2 ImprovedNukaRaiders.esp 254 FE 74 ImprovedNukaRaidersBeast.esp 254 FE 75 ImprovedNukaRaidersBoss.esp 163 a3 ImprovedNukaRaidersEncounters.esp 254 FE 76 ImprovedNukaRaidersNPCTravelPatch.esp 254 FE 77 FEVRatNoGrab.esp 164 a4 Ambient Wasteland.esp 165 a5 LooksMenu.esp 254 FE 78 Simple Dog Bed.esp 166 a6 OCDecorator.esp 167 a7 OCDecoratorDLC.esp 168 a8 OCDispenser.esp 169 a9 Taxidermy_Expanded.esp 170 aa [ARRETH] FGEP-DE.esp 171 ab NukaVimRack.esp 172 ac Eli_Display Shelves.esp 254 FE 79 BAM-BetterArmoryMod.esp 254 FE 7a TTP_MoneyBed.esp 254 FE 7b Female DC Security.esp 173 ad SettlementMenuManager.esp 174 ae Better_Notes.esp 254 FE 7c Publick Occurrences Expanded.esp 254 FE 7d DiamondCityExpansion-RedSeat.esp 175 af PlantedPlantable.esp 176 b0 Glowing Animals Emit Light.esp 177 b1 FatManRadiation.esp 178 b2 ImmersiveVendors.esp 179 b3 OWR2_TCM.esp 180 b4 DynamicInteriorFogRemoval.esp 181 b5 Realistic Death Physics - ALL DLC.esp 182 b6 AtomCatsRadio.esp 183 b7 AzarPonytailHairstyles.esp 184 b8 BetterSettlersCCAPack2.0.esp 185 b9 BetterSettlersMortalPack.esp 186 ba BetterSettlersNoLollygagging.esp 187 bb dD-Enhanced Blood Basic.esp 188 bc CBBE.esp 189 bd EvilViking13_WastelandWalls.esp 190 be Wall Oil Lamps.esp 191 bf WoodenPrefabsExtended.esp 192 c0 Frothy Weapons.esp 254 FE 7e WAVE.esp 193 c1 MinutemenPropaganda.esp 254 FE 7f DiverseDCSecurity.esp 254 FE 80 DiverseCovenantSecurity.esp 194 c2 Mojave Imports Add-On.esp 195 c3 NukaColaDisplayStand-MojaveImports.esp 254 FE 81 ImTalkingToYou.esp PRP.esp PRP-Compat-PointLookout.esp SouthOfTheSea[Previs].esp 254 FE 82 DiamondCity-PreVis.esp JOTCPatch SouthOfTheSea DLC.esp GoodneighborExpanded[Patch-PRP].esp PRP-SS2.esp 196 c4 EnhancedLightsandFX.esp 254 FE 83 EnhancedLightsandFX - Automatron.esp JOTCPatch ELFX UFO4P.esp JOTCPatch ELFX SS2.esp Bashed Patch, 0.esp