I am so stressed out. I dont know what to do anymore. My puppy is 10 weeks old and I have had her since she was 8 weeks old. She was doing pretty good potty training the 1st week. Because i live in apartments, I didnt want to take her outside before i got her shots. Anyways, I have slowly been taking her outside and she has been doing pretty good with the pee pads. But this past week she has been pooping and peeing in her cage in her bed. She wont even whine to be let out. She just goes. Also when i do have her out, sometime she goes to the pee pad herself and other times she is just going wherever. Its so fustrating and exhausting.
I have been researching it and seen that maybe her cage might be too big to where she feels comfortable enough to go in there. But i dont know what else to do. My last puppy was not this hard. But also he was a bit bigger and his cage was a perfect size.
Any tips?? Please help! Im trying to work through this puppy phase but i am stressed. Im up all night constantly checking to see if she went.

My visit with psychiatrist yesterday has helped me reach comfort in my mind with a constant anxiety of something I’m sure many are worried about and it is not right (if you can relate to this): the anxiety of your doc cutting, not changing dose and pharmacy rejecting and giving problems with controlled meds.
Both pharmacy and psychiatrist reassured me: allowed me to use 75 + 90 tabs about 1 week after 75 Valium 5mg to dose an extra tab if needed: explained I was on Valium 10mg x3 daily. So I let him know if I can try going daily with Valium 10mg twice daily I think it would be a good start with years of therapy, tapered down, and 4 years in Army as medic now out for about 1 year with fully honorable for medical retirement - I’m happy my discharge is the same as finishing my 4 year contract and did 4 years retired a few days shy of ETS (last day) date.
He gave me Valium 5mg x4 a day and said I can take it as I see fit in my day but not recommended to take all 4 at once like I’m at the dentist or something lol. Can take 3 in morning if I want, 1 at night; 2 and 2, etc.
Started me on Prazosin 1mg and stopped clonidine ER 0.1mg twice daily and took first dose at bed having the morning clonidine in me… ouch lol side effects of weakness had me miss worth and head to urgent care, but got better with time. I felt like I had an ear ache but got better on Zyrtec. So far side effects there, but the daytime effects I can see my trigger response isn’t as overdriven, so med good for daytime symptoms with PTSD too not only good for nightmares which I’ve been lacking a lot regardless. Did not wake up same time of 2:50 - 3:00am as I do like 5/7 nights in a week - great sign for me on its benefit of sleeping being me! I’m on Zoloft 50mg and plan to taper down off of because last VA psych. was only focusing on tapering me off of Valium.
Doctors who taper long term daily benzo’s with compliance AND especially patients who already tapered like myself twice with horrible quality of life: you aren’t even following WHO guidelines if that’s even a concern
Sorry to patients being hassled being on benzos long term. There’s no Suboxone of benzos as they have for opioid users choosing to quit and switch. Klonopin maybe is a similar concept with long duration; maybe Valium too with long half life understood by doctors.
Lastly, the switch from Adderall XR and IR to Zenzedi (dextroamphetamine sulfate) it’s a brand name similar to Dexedrine tablets, more dose options similar to Adderall IR. I am seeing a better amount of benefits with this: no rush sensation, no cold extremities regardless of fluid intake and running 20 - 40 miles/week. Sleeping is easier because the med wears off without the Levoamphetamine continuing to produce nasty PNS (peripheral nervous system) effects.
The pharmacy telling me the doctor choosing whatever he wants to send in, he will fill it. Even mentioning Desoxyn the pharmacist was okay with this.
I’m not used to having a doctor and pharmacy there to be there for me and do their job title. I was always in fear and seeing this 10-11 years later: it’s all fear surrounded around the system that the doctor (now influx of NP/PA especially) follow and limitations unspoken on stop them from helping; seemingly they believe the anti-med information and push stuff like gabapentin - now not so much in several states with controlled status or reporting to PDMP. System nonsense right there.
My post is long but I want anyone to know chat/message for help/support: I’ve played the game and fought for myself been on benzo/stimulant since 13-14 no problems with meds until new docs began taper-happy, extended release happy anti-fast tablet mindset: pressure lead to abuse thinking I was f-worded, but better docs helped my mind slow down abuse knowing stability with each good doc.
I’m here to help if needed: 3 year medic army clinic time helped too.

My very first custom blythe! 🖤 I chose Wednesday Addams for obvious reasons and even hand stitched her a coffin bed with pillow to rest in! I am not a professional but i'm so happy with the results! This is not an official blythe because there is no way, as a beginner, I felt comfortable customising such art. Nonetheless, I am happy with the result but feedback is always welcome! This is a craft that I really want to learn!

[Chapter 1] ; [Previous Chapter] ; [Discord + Wiki] ; [Patreon]
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Chapter 168 – The moment to live and the moment to die
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„Jumping!“ an Ensign announced loudly as the Sun's view-windows very briefly flickered into a dark black only to go back to a full view of the ongoing battle basically instantly, having barely shifted the ship's position at incomprehensible speed. „Shot clear of allied ships.“
Vice-Admiral Kazadi tapped his finger on one of the armrests of the Commander's seat that still felt anything but comfortable for him to sit in as the tight grid of flashing lights reflected in his eyes within the twilight of the bridge.
“Fire,” he then ordered. Not even a blink later, a burst of colorful light broke into his view from the side of his very own ship, lighting up the entirety of the bridge even through the automatically tinting windows that absorbed a lot of the harmful light so the crew wouldn't flashbang themselves with each shot.
The relativity canon fire tore through the enemy ship at an almost literal instant with any travel time barely being conceivable to a mortal mind. In a large unload of energy that left almost the entire stern-side of the zodiatos ship as a molten mass of dispersing slag, the main propulsion was taken out. Simultaneously, the two accompanying cruisers had also taken their shots; with the 'Civil' taking out the engine of one more enemy vessel while the 'of the roses' had instead used its shot to disperse one of the enemy projectiles in order to buy their own hunter ships more freedom of movement. Those huge ones didn't go down easy from one of the hunters' smaller shots, so using one of the large canons to dispatch it took some of the heat off them.
Meanwhile, smaller targets on the enemy vessels, such as their own canons, were gradually taken out by said hunters, whose own fire – while able to be quite destructive if intended no doubt – could be used in a far more precise manner. With more and more of their canons failing, the protective volleys the coreworld terrorists could fire to hide themselves away also became less and less effective.
“Send the fallback-beacon,” Kazadi then ordered, since close quarter attacks became less and less necessary.
It seemed that the zodiatos had a hard time adjusting to the combat style of the human unkindnesses, however that didn't mean they should take any unnecessary risks. Even if a pilot could've been able to avoid all enemy attacks in a perfect world, he knew that his pilots were only human.
Casualties of their own had been comparatively minimal so far, however as if to prove him right about his thoughts, he could see on his surveillance screen how, just in that moment, one of their ships was taken out by an enemy craft.
He grimaced to himself and let out a mild sigh. One more family who would never see one of their own again...
It took a moment before all the ships were reached by the beacon. Due to the nature of their own combat strategies, as well as the particular nature of hyperspace, it was entirely impossible to effectively contact any of their ships directly while they were out in the battle. Therefore, the order to fall back had to be broadcast as a general signal, that each of the pilots could individually pick up as soon as they would keep still for long enough so that it could reach them.
By now, the battle was already won. None of the zodiatos' weapons were able to match the relativity canons in effective range and without the larger ships to back them up, their small hunters wouldn't be able to launch an offensive – shields or not. They could just stay back and fire until surrender now. As the signal was picked up, one of their ships after another disappeared in one last flash of hyperspace as they joined back up with the larger vessels in an enclosing formation.
“Prepare for the retrieval of some of those projectiles,” the Vice-Admiral then ordered as he hoped they would be able to track some of those spent shots their enemies had fired. They would have to figure out what kind of tech that was.
In such a small-scale conflict, it was more than manageable to face it. However, it could offer some difficulties in larger fleets – especially since they didn't know how far this kind of tech could possible be expanded and refined. It was quite possible this was just some form of prototype.
While that order was followed, one of his Lieutenants suddenly spoke up.
“Sir, we have an incoming transmission from the planet. Civilian. Not encrypted, but they seemingly had an access code,” they related quickly.
“Is the earlier interference cleared up?” he immediately asked back, to which the answer was positive. “Put it through then,” he immediately ordered as soon as he heard that.
He rubbed one of his tight braids between his fingers as he waited for contact to be established. Once the line was clear, things remained quiet for a moment.
“What are we best at?” he then asked the silent line, his chest tightening ever so slightly, even if he didn't have to wait long for a reply.
“Topping from the bottom,” a very familiar voice replied from the other end, sounding incredibly strained but most certainly alive.
The code phrase was an old in-joke about something that had been said back during humanity's first contact with the tonamstrosites due to a slightly choppy translation. However, it more than sufficed here to tell Kazadi that the person on the other side of the line was not only genuine, but also not in any immediate distress – at least none that was brought onto her by someone else.
“Good to hear your voice Ma'am,” he greeted the Admiral after taking a brief moment to allow his heart to settle.
“The pleasure is all mine, Celestin,” Admiral Krieger replied in between heavy breaths that sounded like a combination between being ready to collapse and absolutely willing to tear anyone's throat out at a moment's notice. “Excuse me for the unorthodox contact, my own means of communication have all been destroyed. Update me.”
A brief smile played on the Vice-Admiral's lips.
“No problem, Ma'am. Things are under control up here, but multiple allied coluyvoree ships were destroyed and we suffered some casualties of our own which I will take full responsibility for,” he quickly complied. “By now, the enemy crafts have been largely disabled and our fighters are falling back. What's the situation on your end?”
There was a bit of a grunt from the other side of the line that seemed unrelated to the ongoing conversation.
“I'm sure you did everything by the books,” Krieger then replied a moment later. “Down here the situation is precarious but momentarily under control. We have an unconfirmed number of casualties after an attack with an unknown weapon. All squads are either KIA or unresponsive. We took down six enemy combatants but can't confirm if there's more. I'm going to need clean up, rescue teams, as well as pickup for me and two large offworlders asap.”
Celestin nodded.
“We're in a stable position, so we'll jump teams down right away. Hold out just a minute more,” he assured her while already signing in the necessary order to the troops they had on standby. “How bad are your injuries?”
There was another groan of pain from Krieger's side.
“Crushed cranberries,” she replied after a long moment that sounded like she needed to catch her breath.
“Copy that,” Kazadi replied with a grimace. “Sending muti-team with the evac.”
“Copy that,” Krieger confirmed. “Krieger out.”
With that, the call was hung up. On his screen, Celestin could see how the preparations for dispatch of the requested teams was already well underway. Jumping towards a planet at FTL was generally discouraged by the Galactic Community. However, this was an emergency. They couldn't wait for normal re-entry.
After watching the reported progress for just a moment, his eyes returned to the ongoing battle. He watched the enemy ships as they hovered dead in space, unable to maneuver.
They seemed to have recalled their own fighters back in order to form some sort of protective wall around the 'mother ships' with their own small shields. Obviously it wouldn't be very effective, so it seemed like needless cruelty to make their own soldiers get in the way of the incoming fire. Something within Kazadi told the Vice-Admiral they weren't going to stand down.
“Sir, we're getting some strange hyperspace-readings,” his Lieutenant suddenly announced, making him look up.
“Weapon-grade?” he immediately asked, knowing they had less than a moment to react if it was. However, he also figured there would've been more urgency to their voice had it been so.
“No, Sir. Travel-grade,” the Lieutenant quickly replied. “However the readings are unusual. It seems like they are creating a stretch solely around themselves.”
Kazadi's lips shifted a bit as he took that in and he briefly ran a hand over his mouth in thought. “Prepare to collapse,” he ordered. “Maybe they will attempt some sort of running start. We can't let them get away.”
Right then, the light of what was happening had not yet caught up to the spacial distortion that their sensors were detecting, meaning the ships still looked perfectly normal – if damaged – when he looked at them. However, they were planning something. And that made them appear all the more ominous.
His mind quickly went through their own protocols. The U.H.S.D.F. employed hyperspace in nearly all its possible facets in their tactics. If it was even close to sensible, they would have something that was akin to the maneuver their foes were attempting to execute right now.
A bubble of hyperspace solely around their ships...a dodge? Hardly, there was nothing to dodge like that. An attempt to hide away? No, they knew human ships could collapse hyperspace from the outside easily.
Before him, the windows of the ship once again automatically dimmed, protecting the crew's eyes as the colorful light of the created hyperspace-bubble finally reached them.
“Hyperspace collapsed!” the Lieutenant then suddenly announced, causing Kazadi to blink in surprise as his eyes shot up to his screen. He hadn't given any order to collapse it yet. But indeed, it was gone. For a moment, he thought that the stress had caused his officer to use the wrong term in haste, however no, they had been completely right. It had not been dispersed in a controlled manner. It had collapsed.
In a mild 'thud', the Vice-Admiral's fist descended on the armrest, hand firmly clenched into a fist.
“Those cowardly ba-” he began to growl but then bit his tongue and released a low, almost grunting exhale while his fist quivered from momentarily clenching tighter. “Prepare to search for survivors,” he instead said in a much more controlled manner a moment later. “Preserve lives.”
“Yessir,” multiple of his officers echoed back as he looked out of the window, where he could still see the ghostly afterimage of the hyperspace bubble linger for a bit longer. It was always a strange feeling, seeing someone in the distance who was already dead...
–
With her view darkened and her goggles momentarily pulled off her eyes, Shida stared at the glowing bubble of impossible colors. Her sensors had already told her what was about to happen at any moment now, however her eyes still heavily constricted as they finally witnessed what unfolded themselves.
In what could be described as nothing else than a 'snap' , the light of the hyperspace-stretch instantly condensed down into its original size as the universe all at once remembered that the laws of physics were a thing that existed and brutally forced space to conform to them once again – no matter what may have been in between it and its original form.
Anything within the strange, round stretch was mercilessly ripped along with the convulsion, forcing all the injected warships and fighters into the single, small point that the stretch had been generated from. Though not even a faction of a second later, it all exploded outwards again as the megatons of mass realized that they could not all exist in the same place at once, since the energy of the event was not quite potent enough to press it all into a neutron star or singularity.
No longer recognizable blotches of undefined, white-hot matter were instantly scattered in all directions like some sort of micro-supernova that accentuated the sometimes still burning nano-stars that the earlier battle had created from the opposing fighters.
It was almost pretty...but still, Shida couldn't help but let her ears hang as she wondered how many of the enemy combatants had known about the decision to end things this way. Had any of them even been asked?
Even if it was the far more disturbing answer in a way, Shida almost hoped that this had actually been one mutual suicide-pact instead of the decision of one single commander to choose death over dishonor. Especially while sitting in a ship that was technically under the command of someone else herself, that was certainly the less immediately petrifying option – even if it would probably spell far worse things in the long run.
As she said there, the 'shockwave' of the collapsing hyperspace suddenly hit her, spreading out through space even without any medium to carry it and rocking her ship gently while also penetrating all throughout her body. Of course the earlier relativity fire had already caused similar ripples and she was therefore quite used to the feeling, however these ones sure felt a bit more severe than those of the U.H.S.D.F.'s own canons. It was like she felt her own body distort while also remaining perfectly in palace – almost like she was a stiff container full of water that someone had given a heavy smack from the side, riling up the liquid without it actually having any place to plash to.
According to everything they knew, this phenomenon felt incredibly odd but was entirely harmless to living beings – which was instinctively very hard to believe when one felt it on their own body.
However, her dwelling thoughts were, perhaps luckily, interrupted as she – or more precisely one of her scanners - picked up on a peculiar signature that one of the scattered debris pieces was sending out.
Well, it was 'peculiar' to her that there was a signal at all at first, however then she quickly realized what it actually was. This particular signal was hammered into any pilot's head six ways to Sunday, and so she reacted relatively quickly when she glanced at the grid and realized that she was the closest ship to it. Firing up her engines, she turned her ship on the spot in a slight drift before activating her generator and making a jump right behind the flying object.
Once there, she allowed her computer to take aim for a second before firing out a harpoon that quickly struck the flying debris and latched her ship onto it through a long cable, allowing her to pull the thing along with her after slowly using her backwards thrusters to disperse its speed little by little. Pressing the indicator of her communication, she then spoke up.
“Scratches to Sun,” she announced. “I just recovered a black box. Permission to return for inspection?”
The black boxes of modern ships truly were among the most ridiculous pieces of tech out there, in Shida's humble opinion. Built to withstand almost everything that would likely take a ship out through a combination of brilliant engineering and extremely flexible material that only worked in its indented manner on very small scales. Well, very small compared to the ships they were built into. The things were about half the size of Shida in the end. For many years, armies of scientists had attempted their very best to make this same sort of defense useful in ways that could maybe be used to protect actual people from catastrophic events – but to no avail so far. For now, the only thing those little marvels could allow to survive even something as ludicrous as hyperspace collapsing was information.
“Permission granted, Lieutenant-Commander,” the answer came almost immediately. “Return to hangar three.”
“Copy,” Shida replied. “Scratches out.”
With that, she moved her ship around and prepared for her jump back to the Sun. Hopefully this thing would give them some answers on what exactly this whole thing was meant to accomplish...
–
Far away in another part of the galaxy, a pair of mildly glowing red eyes was laser-focused on a large screen that was just one of many that had merged all over Nedstaniot-Station to broadcast the breaking news to anyone willing to lift their eyes at a slight angle to look at them.
An attack on a coreworld. And not just any coreworld. Gewelitten itself. Something like this hadn't happened in...well, Curi didn't even know how long.
Details seemed to still be incredibly fuzzy as the battle so close to the coluyvoree homeworld had either just happened or was still happening at the moment of the broadcast, however what few details were known were already repeated on end in an endless scroll of text that was meant to catch as many people up to speed as was at all possible through the medium of television. Obviously the same emerging details could already be looked up on the net as well to find them in a more digestible format than the endlessly moving text next to the not exactly top quality footage of the occurring conflict.
However, despite the speed with which it went by, Curi had no problem following the scroll as they stared at the screen intensely.
“Attack was unannounced. Multiple Gewelitten fleet ships destroyed. Official sources confirm: Humanity NOT the aggressor. Attacking ships presumed to be of zodiatos origin. Unknown weapon technology deployed during the attack. U.H.S.D.F. ships engaged in combat after aggression. Myiat delegation ship confirmed unharmed. Attack on government facility on planet simultaneous to spacial attack. Councilman-Candidate Aldwin confirmed unharmed. Status of U.H.S.D.F. General Krieger unknown. Status of Gewelitten Governor H. Cierrophai unknown. Status of Acting-Councilman Afuéhner unknown. Allied coreworld defense fleets activated and inbound. General alert level raised to 8. Hyperspace-travel shut down around the system.”
“Mother, oh no...” Mueen said with absolute shock in his eyes, both of his hands clasped over this mouth as his wide pupils quivered in fear from what they witnessed.
Curi could understand his worry. Though Moar had supposedly been with James, so she would probably be fine. The cyborg was certainly more than just a little relieved that James was already confirmed to be safe. Though the idea that Admiral Krieger's situation was unknown was more than just a little disconcerting.
Though despite the supposed lack of their commanding officer, it seemed like the humans had decisively won out in the battle outside of the coreworld's atmosphere; unknown technology or not.
Given the sub-par footage that some drone was likely recording from quite far away from the actual conflict, it was very hard to tell just what sort of weapon the unknown but presumed to be zodiatos attackers had unleashed there. It looked like some sort of emanating energy that destroyed what it came into contact with but also interacted with it as if it had a physical presence.
Curi had never seen anything remotely like it before – not even in their wildest theories – and their mind immediately wanted to go wild with speculations and ideas about how such a thing might work now that they knew for a fact that it was possible from seeing it with their own eyes.
However, the cyborg pulled themselves together and successfully forced the briefly almost overwhelming desire to focus on nothing else down as they shifted their gaze slightly away from the screen to look over at their other currently nearby company.
Then again, as much as they knew they couldn't let their guard down around him, Reprig's eyes were just as immovably attached to the large screen as Mueen's were as he witnessed the unfolding battle with quivering horror.
His trunk was wiggling wildly in his face and one of his hands nervously scratched over the plate of the table they were all sitting and standing at and on, right next to a piece of paper with a hastily drawn sketch of a spring-like mechanical leg that was inspired by what humans called 'running blades'. The Warrant Officer's weapon also laid on the table, pushed a but further away from his hand so he wouldn't be able to easily reach it.
Though despite his focus, Curi couldn't quite help but speak up after a moment of watching him. “A coreworld attacking another coreworld,” they said to the man, who they knew either had to know far more than they did about this – or would be far more invested in it unfolding. “This is unprecedented.”
Reprig seemed to notice that they were talking to him, however he still remained silent and stared a good few moments longer before finally pulling his gaze away from the screen.
As his eyes met theirs, he looked a bit sick. It almost reminded the cyborg of one of the first interactions they had with the man, back when they nudged him slightly to hand his spy-device back to him after he tried to hide it in James' cabin. Though this time, the cyborg was quite sure that they were not the reason why the man seemed like most of his blood was currently rushing into his stomach.
Could he actually be shocked about what was happening? Was this not part of the plan?
“Unprecedented doesn't even come close to describing it...” he mumbled and couldn't hold the cyborg's gaze for long, looking down to the table's plate instead. “And these aren't just any coreworlds. Osontjar and Gewelitten have been allied for an unimaginably long time. The thought that they would even think of attacking each other...what sort of madness could've caused something like this?”
Curi was the first to admit to themselves that they were far from the best at reading people. If someone with even a modicum of skill in acting wanted to make them believe something untrue about the person they were talking to, they would never deny that there was a good chance of that person succeeding.
Still, Reprig's reaction felt...genuine to them. As if he had actually never expected something like this to happen. Not in a million years.
Maybe it was just skillful acting. And Curi knew that they should have been suspicious like that. However, despite everything he had done, they couldn't quite bring themselves to suspect that he was lying at that moment.
“I know it is unlikely you will give me an honest answer, but-” Curi began to say, however Reprig was more than able to anticipate what they were going to ask and replied long before they were finished.
“No. No. Never,” the sipusserleng said, shaking his head heavily and standing his trunk up while making a denying gesture with his hand that was so brash that he actually knocked his crutch off the small outcrop in the table it had been laid down on. “This must be some absolutely deranged people, no two ways about it. To attack a coreword...”
Curi noticed Reprig's gaze briefly twitching down, his eyes jumping onto the personal assistant strapped to his lower arm as if he suddenly got the urge to use it for something.
Curi suspected he likely wanted to call someone; question them to make extra sure that they had, in fact, nothing to do with this. Though the sipusserleng suppressed the urge and pulled his eyes away, bringing them back up to the screen.
Just at that moment, the implosion of collapsing hyperspace suddenly lit up the footage moments before the glowing remnants of what once had been the zodiatos ships were scattered across the star-system.
Mueen mumbled something in his home's language as his eyes remained affixed to the screen. Curi couldn't even begin to guess what he was saying. However, his voice sounded pleading.
“Suicide instead of surrender?” Reprig meanwhile mouthed breathlessly as his nervous tick of excessively licking his trunk began to show.
Although he had often been otherwise employed in recent times, Curi could see it in the man's eyes that he was still, in a way, military at heart. He knew the general values and doctrines that were conveyed to the soldiers of the Communal Military, both inside and out. And the idea of someone choosing death like this...it seemed to rock him to his very core.
Slowly, he turned his gaze over to Curi. His eyes were almost pleading with the cyborg, even if they seemed to already know that his next question would be asked in vain.
“Could it maybe have been the humans and their-” he began, but this time, it was Curi's term to cut him off after anticipating what was coming.
“While humans very much employ the collapsing of hyperspace as a tactic in war, the process is not invisible – or even subtle. Had the human ships caused that collapse, it would've been noticeable,” they explained succinctly. “It could've still been a mere unexpected failure of the hyperspace generation, of course. However, with the rarity of such events, the timing seems...unlikely.”
“They weren't even trying to generate a real stretch...” Reprig concurred dejectedly and left his head hanging, his trunk also sinking down limply. “I can't even imagine- Well...I hope they will at least find peace now, away from the madness.”
Curi paused for a long moment, staring at the Warrant Officer some more. Admittedly, the cyborg was a bit confounded at something. They knew for a fact the man had put his own life on the line for his orders, with a very real chance that they would lead to his death, more than just once. And yet the idea of being ordered to die seemed to disturb him. They couldn't quite figure out the difference that led to the results in reaction being so incredibly different, however it was still very clear that there was one.
And it seemed to hit the man hard.
Self-admittedly, Curi didn't exactly pity the man. They didn't quite have the capacity to. They knew about so many horrible things he had done that simply seeing him distressed was far from enough to stir such deep empathy for him within them.
Yet still, they weren't left entirely cold by it either – and if it was only because he seemed to be affected by these events in the ways a, for a lack of a better term, 'normal person' would be. He was shocked at the sudden, seemingly senseless violence, and concerned about the people involved.
Granted, it was likely only because they were people he considered worth being concerned about, yet still, the reaction was so...'normal', in a way they didn't quite expect from someone with such a capability for unceremonious acts of cruelty and violence. Even this person who had tried to kill them, or at least had been entirely comfortable with them getting killed, was capable of such a reaction.
And Curi...wasn't sure if that made things better or worse, if they were being honest.
It felt better because there was the capability for empathy there, however...it felt worse because they felt how they had been and likely still were willingly denied said empathy.
He could have cared...he just didn't want to.
Curi shook their body heavily, causing mild sounds from the engines running their legs' movements from the sudden force as they tried to shoo away emotions that they really didn't want to be feeling at that exact moment.
The thing that mostly kept them from following up on some of their uncomfortably aggressive thoughts at that moment was the fact that Mueen was still with them, the worry for his mother written across his features like a deep engraving in a metal plaque. He did not need anything like that around him right now, that much was clear.
Slowly, they moved over to him and reached up one of their long legs to run it along his arm while he still covered parts of his large face with both hands.
“She will be alright,” Curi then assured the dark-furred rafulite, switching from their usual voice box to their more “melodic” one to put on a gentle, calming tone. “She is stronger than she seems.”
Inhaling deeply as his nostrils flared, Mueen closed his dark eyes and swallowed heavily, taking his gaze off the large screen for the first time in many minutes while slowly hanging his head down.
“Yeah,” he said, seeming to force hopefulness into his tone. “Yes, she'll be fine. She made it his far. This won't get to her.”
Curi nodded with their entire body and continued to run the tip of their leg along his arm.
“She will be,” they repeated, both to the man and themselves as their own eyes moved upwards, their gaze falling back on the battlefield riddled with burning remnants of matter. “I'm sure of it.”
–
Never in his life had James felt so drunk and so sober at the same time. His mind was entirely clear, running a light-year a minute as it desperately tried to simultaneously process all the admittedly little information that he had in his current situation AND to not absolutely freak out while doing so somehow – a task he was ludicrously failing at. And it did NOT help that his body could barely keep itself on his own two feet.
He had avoided completely fainting by a hair earlier after reminding himself that, instead of being terrified for Shida's life, it would be much more fair towards her to simply focus on trusting in her skills to carry her through. However, that was barely a little patch on an enormous crack in his facade as he couldn't help but go over and over and over the fact of how much worse the situation that she needed to jump into here had been for her simply because it was his damn birthday and they wanted to indulge over it. He should've stopped that, but noooo, he just had to go and let himself be swayed so damn easily, as if he was still that little boy following Koko around whenever she visited the compound to try and get some attention.
Of course, a quiet voice in the back of his head tried to politely remind him that Shida had, in fact, not only taken part in the festivities as well but also encouraged him to do so, however it was easily overpowered by the screaming rest of his mind.
He briefly glanced over at the only somewhat conscious Commander. When she said that they should match each other's drinks, that should've been the moment he stopped. She was like half his weight, what the hell was he thinking?
His mechanical hand shot up, heavily gripping a fist full of hair as he tried to force himself to focus. What's done is done. There's no changing it. He should focus on anything else right now.
Though as he painfully pulled on his hair like that, his eyes suddenly went wide as he noticed something. Or, more precisely, didn't notice something.
When had the alarm stopped? Just now? Or had it been out and he just hadn't noticed?
Letting go of his hair, he lifted his face and looked around. If the alarm was over, then that meant...
The uncoordinated movement of soldiers reaching for their phones and radios with different speeds went through the room, and after brief confirmation, the uniformed forces began to move, having seemingly gotten new orders other than guarding the safe-rooms. Apparently, the threat was over.
James quickly fumbled for his own phone, his barely coordinated hands struggling extremely with the simple task of trying to call one of his contacts – much to the frustration of his already cleared mind. His finger trembled as he swiped it across the screen, trying to get it to the right damn place to make a simple god-damn call.
However, he froze in the motion at a quiet sound that was immediately followed by a sudden stir behind him as multiple people seemed to move quickly. And after just a second, James was among them as well.
Nearly tripping over his feet, he damn near threw himself onto the sickbed that didn't stand too far away from him, his phone momentarily forgotten and eyes wide open as they stared over at an endlessly familiar dark face, that however had life in it for the first time in what felt like an eternity at that moment.
Slowly and twitchy, Nia's eyes fluttered open as she let out quiet groans while mildly stirring in place while her doctors and nurses hurried around her and quickly began to take her vitals.
After flinching heavily as a flashlight was quite suddenly shone into her eyes to test her photopupillary reflex, she began to move even more. Meanwhile, James and Tuya were basically pressed shoulder to shoulder close to the foot of her bed, the only thing keeping them from dashing right up to her face being just enough awareness to not get in the doctor's way.
Still, although her movements were very slow, stiff, and groggy, Nia eventually lifted up her head, looking around with still somewhat hazy and half-closed eyes. But that didn't stop her from smiling when her gaze fell onto the two who so nervously stood at her bedside there.
“Hey,” she said in a quiet, croaky, but still very much cheerful voice as her unkempt hair fell down both sides of her face.
Though James didn't see much more than that, because just about at that moment, his vision was entirely taking away by welling-up waters sweeping him along.

Goal: Create a heartfelt animated music video Song: TheFatRat - Still Here With You Tone: Happy, Sad, Sweet, Touching, Moving, Inspiring, Beautiful, Spiritual Style: 2D cute cartoon/anime Length: About two and a half minutes to fit the song (more is fine, adding a short intro/outro to fit the story is welcome) Deadline: 2 Months (flexible) Budget: $3,000 (flexible)
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Sorry if the deadline/budget seems unreasonable. I am very flexible on both and am more than willing to work with someone on a fair price.
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I would like to have a music video created for my fiancée, Emily, starring her and one of our cats, Fawkes, who we helped cross the rainbow bridge in February 2023. We always get the feeling he's still here with us, watching over us, spreading his love and joy. I want to imagine what that would look like if it were indeed true. On a spiritual level, they were/are truly soulmates, and I want to create something really special for her to remember him by. These last few years have been really tough for her, and we have been abandoned/betrayed by some friends and family mainly due to drama around our caring for Fawkes.
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I am looking for someone passionate who truly wants to help me make this a reality. I will do everything in my power to get whatever you need to make this work. This is probably way too much info, but I'm trying to get my thoughts out if it can help the creative process for anyone. If you're interested, please send me a message.
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Factoids:

• Me: 33M
• Emily: 34F
• Emily and Fawkes slept on the couch together during his sickness (he would always lay on her, face to face)
• Emily likes to paint as a hobby (shapes, flowers, birds, owls)
• Emily likes to play PC games (Overwatch, World of Warcraft)
• Emily is usually up at night while I'm asleep
• Emily has been free of work since before he got sick
• I work during the day, Emily is at home alone (she does not drive)
• We still randomly find his fur on our clothes that have been washed multiple times since he passed. It makes us smile and think of it as a gift from him.
• Fawkes and Freyja didn't get along unsupervised, so we kept them separated when we slept or had to go somewhere
• Freyja sometimes acts like Fawkes did (belly rubs and lots of snuggles). We feel as though it's Fawkes visiting us through her.

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Thoughts, ideas, notes:

• Possibly starting from when we are at/leaving the vet when we said goodbye
• Fawkes depicted as an angel/spirit cat
• Centered around Fawkes and Emily
• Emily doing day-to-day things like watching TV, painting, playing games, chores
• Emily looking at pictures and feeling sad
• Emily feeling hopeless and alone
• Freyja and I can be part of making her feel better sometimes
• I go to work and she's all alone
• Fawkes finding ways to cheer up/help Emily, somehow interacting with things around her
• I want it to express feelings of sadness at points but also happiness and joy
• Locations closely based on actual places we went/live (I can provide pictures of where we live or addresses of locations for Google Maps for satellite views)
• Ending: I would like to show Fawkes with her family dog (who passed away in September 2021) and her grandmother (who passed away in January 2024), all happy together and watching over Emily

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backstory below
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Beginning:
Fawkes came into our lives in July 2017 from the streets after his previous owners were taken away from him a few weeks prior. We immediately brought him to the vet to get checked and tested for anything. The vet found that he was chipped and five years old. As a result, they couldn't really do much besides try to contact the previous owners. We took him home and kept him separated from our other cat, Freyja, since we did not know if he could spread anything to her. He was pretty lethargic, hardly eating, and couldn't really keep much down. We honestly thought we would wake up the next morning and he wouldn't be with us anymore. Luckily, that was not the case.
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He wasn't doing so well the next day, so we called the vet and they had us come in again. Since the previous day, he went from over seven pounds down to about six and a half pounds. Our vet decided it was necessary to medically intervene or he was likely going to die. They hospitalized him on the spot and started giving him subcutaneous (SQ) fluids and other medications to help with his nausea and stimulate his appetite. We left him under the care of the vet and all we could do was wait to hear back. He pulled through like a champ. He was eating, moving, jumping, playing, snuggling, and loving life. It was as if he was reborn, like a phoenix from the ashes, so we named him "Fawkes" after the phoenix from Harry Potter.
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Over the following years, Fawkes and Emily became pretty much inseparable. He was such a lovebug and radiated that classic "orange cat energy" wherever he went. If he wanted to get into something, he'd either find a way or keep trying until we could stop him. He absolutely LOVED belly rubs, and not once was it ever a trap (unless you felt "trapped" rubbing his belly for hours). In all the time we had him, he never hissed at, scratched, or bit (non-playfully) anyone. He just wanted to love everything and everyone he met. He didn't have any enemies in his eyes, just others who may not have cared for the level of love and joy he wanted to share.
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Later:
Fawkes was diagnosed with stage 1 chronic kidney disease (CKD) in October 2021, which quickly progressed to stage 3 by early 2022. We were giving him medicine a few times a day, SQ fluids every couple of days, and going to the vet every other week to have his levels checked. He became a regular at the vet and even a few employees confessed to taking breaks just to go snuggle him because they loved him so much. We almost said goodbye to him in May 2022, as his symptoms were worsening and he no longer wanted to eat. He was a fighter, though, and told us he wasn't done fighting yet by finally eating on his own just as we were trying to make that difficult decision. We took him to the Animal Emergency and Referral Center (AERC) that night.
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The vet told us that he had developed anemia and our only options were either to take him home and start end-of-life care or do a blood transfusion (which might not even work) and keep him hospitalized for a few days to be monitored. We opted for the blood transfusion. The procedure went well and we were able to come and visit him a day later, though they still had to keep him for another day or two just to be safe. We were also able to have his case looked at by a specialist, and they adjusted his meds to better suit his needs. They were estimating he maybe had a few weeks to a month or so before we ended up back where we were before the transfusion. We were now giving him less medicine a few times a day, SQ fluids every night, and going on walks through our apartment building every night before bed.
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A few weeks became a few months, and he seemed to be doing even better than he was all of 2022 before his transfusion. We would take him on trips to Petco every week or so, so he could walk around and meet new friends. We would bring him to the park while we played Pokémon GO, even if we ended up just sitting in the car. Starting around September 2022, my boss even let me bring him to work with me on days he wanted me in the office. Vet appointments were few and far between, sometimes a couple of months apart. This pretty much continued all the way into February 2023 until we started to notice more significant symptoms again, and his CKD values were getting much worse. He didn't want to eat, he was hiding more, and he would often seek comfort by laying in his litterbox. We could tell our little warrior was ready to be done fighting.
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Goodbye:
On the night of Tuesday, February 14th, 2023, Valentine's Day, we decided we couldn't make him fight for us any longer. We called our vet and made an appointment for Thursday, February 16th, 2023. We spent the whole day together on Wednesday, February 15th, 2023, snuggling on the couch and finished with our nightly routine of SQ fluids and a walk. We all spent the night together on the couch, staying awake as long as we could. On Thursday, February 16th, 2023, we brought Fawkes to the vet, and he was excited to walk around and explore the new space for a short while before needing a rest. It was nice to see him perk up and act like how we remembered him to be. The doctors took him away to be prepped and brought him back after a short while. We were petting him, kissing him, and told him he was a good boy and how much we loved him as he peacefully passed. We left there with the heaviest pet carrier ever. An empty one.

I’m planning a trip for my family in January. We’ll be 2 adults and 2 teens. My kids are of different genders and really don’t want to share a bed with each other or us. I don’t blame them, esp as my husband is a big guy, and my son is even taller.
Last year at the same time we stayed at the Polynesian. It was 2 Queen beds and a petite sofa. We also begged for an air mattress, which they obliged, but we were told this isn’t always going to be possible.
For this trip I’d like to make sure everyone can sleep comfortably. This means a bed for mom and dad and some kind of sleeping space (cot, couch, air mattress) for each kid. Does such a unicorn exist?

I’m planning a trip for my family in January. We’ll be 2 adults and 2 teens. My kids are of different genders and really don’t want to share a bed with each other or us. I don’t blame them, esp as my husband is a big guy, and my son is even taller.
Last year at the same time we stayed at the Polynesian. It was 2 Queen beds and a petite sofa. We also begged for an air mattress, which they obliged, but we were told this isn’t always going to be possible.
For this trip I’d like to make sure everyone can sleep comfortably. This means a bed for mom and dad and some kind of sleeping space (cot, couch, air mattress) for each kid. Does such a unicorn exist?

I’m planning a trip for my family in January. We’ll be 2 adults and 2 teens. My kids are of different genders and really don’t want to share a bed with each other or us. I don’t blame them, esp as my son is bigger than my husband. Last year at the same time we stayed at the Polynesian. It was 2 Queen beds and a petite sofa. We also begged for an air mattress, which they obliged, but we were told this isn’t always going to be possible. For this trip I’d like to make sure everyone can sleep comfortably. This means a bed for mom and dad and some kind of sleeping space (cot, couch, air mattress) for each kid. Does this unicorn exist?

Hi everyone - I'm hoping for some quick recommendations of where to start my search for a family camper. We are young, active family, with three kids aged 6 and under. We live in the mountain west and camp one to three times per year in off-grid sites (1-3 nights each trip), and another two to three times per year in maintained National Park or State Park type sites (2-4 nights each trip). All in all, about 10-15 nights of camping annually.
While my wife and I previously tent camped frequently, as we are getting older, we appreciate more luxuries, a true bed, and honestly, the safety of a hard sided trailer. We have never owned one before - but have spent one trip in a rented trailer.
Our goal is not to have the most luxurious, largest camper. Our preferences / wish list for a camper are here: - Sleeps 2 adults AND 3 kids in some fashion (fine with 3 kids piled onto a queen bed) - Ease of use - simple, but nice. Don't need tons of bells and whistles. Basically, to us a trailer is a glorified, comfy tent. Protection from elements, comfortable beds, usable living space on rainy days, sound insulation from neighbors, protection from bears/wildlife. - Quality - not having to fix or worry about tinkering with complex, high-maintenance systems, while being nice for the money - good value. - Solar capacity would be nice - I prefer as much as possible vs. fuel powered appliances, etc. - Minimal bathroom is fine. - A full, luxury kitchen is not necessary either. Generally make due with cold, camp stove based and/or fire based meals. - Dirt road capable - but not doing anything overland/expedition-ey.
Looking for scour the used market to find something in the $16k-$25k range - could stretch to $30k. Don't necessarily need new - but needs to be in great condition (likely 2018 or newer).
Tow rating of my vehicle is 6500lbs... but would love if this was <4500lbs, even <4000lbs.
Looked at: ALiner Evolution 15, but seems kind of expensive for what it is. Rockwood Geo Pro G19BH or G20BHS, seem like a reasonable choices - might be overkill. NoBo NB19.8 - again, overkill and significantly heavier than GeoPro.
Thanks in advance! I appreciate your help!

Edited some details so hopefully she doesn’t recognise this post. Also this long post, so I’ve put tldr at the end.
So we broke up a few months ago and barely talked since then. I saw her a few days ago and we just said hi to each other in passing. That night she rang me and we started speaking like for hours (4/5hrs) till she eventually ended up falling asleep on call. The next day I ring her and we speak for a couple hours again till I ended up going round to hers later that night for basically the whole night.
She said sex is definitely off the table which i was totally fine with, talking to her is again is more important to me anyway. We end up doing the cute relationship stuff (cook a meal, watch a movie, etc) and ended up kissing before she tried to fall asleep with me.
I was watching a tv show on my phone so I could leave after she fell asleep but we kept talking and she just couldn’t fall asleep. She persuaded me to have sex but she stopped half way through and just sat at the end of the bed. Before we did anything I kept telling her I would rather just speak and sex isn’t that important but she kept hinting at it and very obviously wanted to.
So I try to comfort her and she tells me to just go away so I lead back down and went on my phone till she was in a better mood and we watched tiktoks, laughing and talking, till she asked if I could leave so she could sleep, saying she won’t be able to with me there.
So I left and today I realised she’s blocked me on everything. I’m rlly just confused about it all and have no idea if I should try to reach out or just leave her alone.
I think she might’ve been manic the past few days that’s why we spoke so much but I’m not sure since she only got properly diagnosed with bipolar after we broke up. Any advice on what I should do or an explanation of what happened would be very much appreciated.
TLDR: ex reached out and we spoke for hours then had sex and she’s blocked me. Not sure if this a bipolar thing n not sure what I should do.

Okay I already know I’m gonna get a few strong reactions off this topic but i want to clarify that me (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have agreed to an open relationship but we never really ever thought to discuss boundaries besides a few basic ones which is why I don’t see how I could be in the wrong. Anyways last night me and my boyfriend were in bed together and I was showing him a few photos in my camera roll and he swiped out of them into the main roll accidentally and saw a photo of me holding my close friends dick and immediately started freaking out at me without having time to react saying that I was a whore and how I clearly don’t care about him or his dick if I was taking photos with other guys which I just don’t see how is my problem? And said that I shouldn’t be doing that with my friends because that’s weird and shit which I don’t see why he’s more comfortable with me and strangers than me and those I’m comfortable with and getting into an open relationship these were the little things that excited me to be able to do while still having someone I care about on another level. AITAH here?

Okay I already know I’m gonna get a few strong reactions off this topic but i want to clarify that me (24F) and my boyfriend (26M) have agreed to an open relationship but we never really ever thought to discuss boundaries besides a few basic ones which is why I don’t see how I could be in the wrong. Anyways last night me and my boyfriend were in bed together and I was showing him a few photos in my camera roll and he swiped out of them into the main roll accidentally and saw a photo of me holding my close friends dick and immediately started freaking out at me without having time to react saying that I was a whore and how I clearly don’t care about him or his dick if I was taking photos with other guys which I just don’t see how is my problem? And said that I shouldn’t be doing that with my friends because that’s weird and shit which I don’t see why he’s more comfortable with me and strangers than me and those I’m comfortable with and getting into an open relationship these were the little things that excited me to be able to do while still having someone I care about on another level. AITAH here?

I’m on week 5 of taking Wellbutrin and I feel like I’ve never felt worse in my life. I feel like my depression is worse than it was before starting it. I can’t control it at all now, it’s miserable. All I want to do is stay in bed and sleep all day and not get any work done but that also stresses me out. I have zero motivation but not getting things done gives me insane anxiety. My doctor prescribed Zoloft with the Wellbutrin and I started that 3 weeks ago and only lasted 3 days with that because it was making me feel this same way. I’m so tempted to just stop taking it because I can’t handle this feeling. I want these feelings to stop. I am also so much more irritated. I get mad at my fiancé for literally no reason when he’s just trying to help me and comfort me and it makes me feel even worse because he’s trying to help me and I’m so mean sometimes but he always forgives me. It makes me feel so bad. Ugh. Idk what to do.

I have a 4 year old female cat (spayed) who in the last few months has started marking everywhere in the house and has totally changed personality after I got a new kitten last summer. (male, castrated)I did the reccomended slow introduction for a couple of weeks in separate floors of the house, room swap etc..
The kitten got comfortable immediatly and was very excited about the other cat, seemingly not bothered by her constant rejection. Eventually after about a month the female warmed up enough that I felt comfortable with them sharing the house unsupervised. She has definatley never been friends with the kitten, but grudgingly accepted its presence. They both ate togheter, stayed in the same rooms and slept in my bed throughout the winter season and everything seemed okay for a while.
On a few occasions the older female peed outside the litter box, but usually in the same two places. This was often if the litter boxe(s) was messy, or one time when I had to buy a different type of litter which she didnt like
As the weather got warmer she started going outside again more, and now she mostly spends time at my neighbor house (my ex inlaws 🤣). Initially I was okay with it as she had a place to go "relax", but they eventually they started letting her sleep there as well, which Im not sure how to feel about... According to them her behavior is perfectly normal and relaxed at their house.
Her behavior has gotten a lot worse after this and she usually only comes home a few times a day for food, then she is gone again. Almost everyday I find pee on new walls or items around the house, and she basically peed directly at me once. I have watched her use the litter box, so Im pretty sure its due to terrotorial behavior and not a medical issue. She is clearly more agitated when the kitten is nearby.
If I approach her she often hisses or growls at me. She seems to relax a bit if I force her to stay inside for like a day, then she eventually can seek me for snuggles or sleep next to me, but the next day its the same all over again.
What I have tried: Pheromone spray and diffusers Regularly cleaning litter boxes (I only have 2, but they mostly go outside during the warmer months) Cleaning the places she has marked, but she usually find new places
Any suggestions on what to do here? Should I get her checked at the vet for medical issues? Force her to stay inside and try to do a reintroduction? It will be a bit difficult to do I think as the cats are very used to go outside as they please

Over the past weekend a close female friend of mine told me her and her boyfriend had broken up. They had been on shaky ground for a while so it wasn’t too much of a surprise, but she was heartbroken all the same. Myself and another friend of ours went to her place to comfort her and we all began drinking. She drank a lot more than us, which was fine given the circumstances. Eventually, our other friend had to leave and that just left the two of us.
We’ve known each other for years, initially meeting through a dating app. But after a few dates she decided it wasn’t right and we left it alone. But a year later or so we reconnected but strictly as friends. Whenever she had met her now ex-boyfriend she made sure I was the first person to meet him so we could explain our brief romantic history and he had no issues. Her and I have never shared any intimate moments or anything since when we first met, and neither of us ever tried anything.
But on this particular night, when it was just the two of us she began coming onto me. At first I didn’t much pay attention to how close she sat to me on the couch. Whenever I got up to get something and she grabbed a blanket I came back and sat farther away and she patted the couch for me to sit beside her, but I didn’t move. On the tv, we had a movie playing and there just happened to be a sex scene on and she kept commenting about how that looked fun. I just chuckled and didn’t respond. She then asked if I was turned on by watching them have sex, and that the real thing was so much better. I threw out a joke about old people having sex didn’t spark the same feeling and she tried to compare us to them. After a few more exchanges she crawled towards me on the couch and told me to lean back while she slid her hand across my thigh. At this point I jump up and go to the kitchen, telling her I was going to grab us some water. She kept calling my name and telling me to hurry up and I took my time on purpose. When I came back she was sitting with her shirt off, revealing her bra. I told her to put her shirt back on and she just laughed. I sat on the far end of the couch, and after throwing some more hints she finally just flat out asked if I we were going to do it or not. I didn’t respond and before I knew it she was passed out.
I stayed there for a little bit until her son got home from work. I carried her to her bed and left, letting him know to check on her. The next day, we texted here and there, mainly just talking about how she felt. We told me she would call later and I was a bit nervous about if the night’s events would come up. Once we got on the phone, she told me that she had no idea that our other friend had left. I was puzzled, reminding her that we all shared a moment of comforting her while she was crying right before our friend left but she didn’t remember. So, I began reviewing our night, seeing if she recalled anything and she didn’t. Initially I thought maybe she was just seeing if I would tell her but it didn’t seem like the case. She said she didn’t remember me carrying her to her room, or how she ended up in just a bra. At that point I thought she would for sure think that something had happened. I simply told her that she said it was hot, and she just responded with “well at least I had a bra on”.
I decided not to tell her about her actions. I have known her for about 6 years now, and we are very close. We know each other’s kids and family and other friends. Her ex-boyfriend and I even became good friends. We’d go to NBA games and such all the time without her, and he’d even come to me at times when things weren’t going well. But I’ve never really looked at her romantically like that, until now. When I was home the next day I thought about it a lot. I figured maybe it was just the sexual desires, and how maybe if she hasn’t been so drunk I would have gone for it. I’ve thought about what that might have done to friendship, good or bad, and if it was worth the risk. One of my friends that knows her has expressed that she thinks she has a thing for me, but I blew her off. My sister said the same thing, and this was after meeting my friend and her now ex-boyfriend, so I called get crazy. I’ve been wrestling with if I should tell eventually and see what she says. There’s like a dozen different thoughts running through my mind and I for once am not sure if this is a one time thing or if that was something related to some much deeper feelings she has for me.

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
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Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

I track my sleep with a garmin so in addition to my feeling I have data to show that I am getting worse sleep when camping. I am wondering why this could be the case.
Some data points: -sleep In a very comfortable sleeping bag and on a very comfortable mattress on cot. - I sleep under the stars. No tent. - I sleep next to my kids. - no alcohol. -bed shortly after sundown. - no screentime.
However: -I typically get very low REM if any. Contributing to very low sleep scores: say around 50-75. Never that low when I sleep at home.
Perhaps I sleep in “low grade awareness” since we are outside so my body is always on alert for wild animals?
Any ideas?