Funny school lunch poemsm

I’ve been at this job for four years; office environment. This coworker, she started on our team of 6 about a year and a half ago and has had some sort of issue with me since arriving - constant passive aggression and snark that I figured was just a character flaw. But it’s very pointed even when I try initiating conversation or being friendly- we’re the only two women on this team after all.
Mentioned a Halloween party I went to? “do you use ouija boards or just give off that energy?”
Was eating a salad one day. “You look like you’d have a gluten allergy. Do you have a gluten allergy?”
I mis-remembered the name of a place and laughed off my mistake, she says to our team “that must be what Florida public schools do to your brain” (we’re in the Midwest, I’m from FL)
To name a few. Then about a year ago I started dating a guy at our work. My boss calls me in the other day to say that said antagonizer made a complaint about ME; That apparently my relationship bothers her… My SO hardly ever comes by and if so, it’s to bring me lunch or ask about plans later. I was genuinely confused. My boss was telling me that he doesn’t expect me to do anything different but just wanted me to be aware. I’ve never had a work complaint, but a baseless one from someone regularly after me was incredibly frustrating.
It’s such a small team. I just try to make it through the day. I don’t know if this is even considered “bullying” but what’s to gain from bringing it up? It’s every damn time I join in on a group conversation, and it’s always snarky remarks to me alone- never the men we work with. And the money sucks too, hard to find a reason to stay at this place but job searching is terrible. I’ve played nice, but she can go step on a Lego at this point.

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!

I came across this sub by accident - through what was clearly a fake post - some cringelord dreaming up a vigilante fantasy - but a lot of people ate it up! I scrolled through the sub and found a bunch of other fake posts, mixed with some actually really good content.
Hearing about people sticking it to some old blowheart is one of the true remaining joys in life - control your sub people - don't be duped and downvote the clearly fake shit!
I got one from Memorial Day a few years ago - I think about it every year - it's not a whopper but at least it actually happened.
My HOA board is 100% boomers - driving around in golf carts, taking pictures - complain about noise past 8pm, etc. Dumb as shit when it comes to technology and choosing vendors. They have been the victim of some idiotic scams. Political season - their tiny lawns are covered with republican candidate signs for everything from President all the way down to School Board.
A letter was sent out a week before stating "for the duration of the holiday weekend, the only flags that can be affixed to the exterior of the residential condo units are American flags, including ALL historical American Flags." God only knows what they were intending with this.
The only flags in the neighborhood at the time were a few errant Trump flags, and our condo - with a Gadsen flag and a pride flag - original Gilbert Baker design. I knew it was going to be a problem (because it was when we first moved in) and I was willing to pay some small fines for this new rule. Talking to the Trump flag neighbors - they also planned to keep theirs up. But my wife didn't want to make more waves and convinced me to take them down in the afternoon - the Friday before.
But it didn't sit right - I thought about it for the rest of the day and went to put them back up on Saturday afternoon - but my wife didn't let me. We got a letter in our mailbox that morning from the HOA, reminding us about the flags, and that the Holiday Weekend is Friday through Sunday.
It came with a $50 fine (for Friday morning) and a warning that they would issue additional fines and "other administrative actions" if we didn't keep them down. I checked with the Trump flag guys and they didn't get a notice - I was pissed.
I told my wife that the flags are going back up and I will pay a fee each year and demand that the rules be enforced for everyone or no one. But, since we had reserved the clubhouse on Sunday for a party, she didn't want them yanking our reservation... and I didn't put them back up.
...But then it occurred to me. The notice clearly stated that the American flag rule applied to flags hung from the condo units... and we had site control over the entire clubhouse and pool area. I checked the CC&R's and the reservation - there was no expressed limititation on decorations.
My wife gave me the approval to go to war since we weren't technically breaking any rules. I texted everyone who was coming "bring a pride flag with you to the party... in fact bring every flag you have."
This wasn't a pride party, it was a Memorial Day BBQ, but the pride flags and flags from around the world outnumbered the American flags 10 to 1. We had hundreds of flags and you can see the clubhouse and pool from almost all of the units in the neighborhood - it looked like a storage yard at the UN.
The board was livid. Many of them came down to the clubhouse and took pictures, they threatened to call the police - one of them said they were going to levy a separate fine for each flag. But we cleaned the place up and were out by 8pm.
I know the board met the next day (on the holiday) but I never received a single letter about it. I paid the $50 fee and know that I am forever under their microscope. They quietly amended the club rules regarding "excessive decorations" but did not issue the flag rule for July 4th or any subsequent years. I figure there are too many places to rightfully put a flag in this neighborhood and they don't want to look like fools again.
My relationship with the HOA board has improved since this interaction. I don't think I'd go as far as to say they are scared of me, but they certainly know I might create a giant headache for them in the most ridiculous way possible.
I'll caveat all this to say that not all boomers are bad - remember some of them were hippies in the '60's and '70's. One of the ladies on the board - her brain is so fried from acid decades ago that she became love incarnate.
She bought a pride flag just to bring to my party and stayed all day. Come to find out she knows the names of all the dogs in the neighborhood and she knocked on my door the other day to tell me a joke she made up about my German Shepherd - not funny at all but it was so sweet I fucking cried.
Boomers amiright?

I’m sort of freaking out right now. Tomorrow I’ll be going to the school cafeteria to grab food in a container and eat some place else.
I don’t really have any school friends so I’ll be totally alone in a cafeteria with like 300 students around me. I’m terrified that I’ll be judged, or that something terrible will happen. Not to mention that the school lunch feels unsafe since it isn’t made by me.
I wish that I could go with someone, it would make everything so much easier but I can’t. I desperately need some kind words.

As requested, I am going to share a list of things I did that helped me pass my exam yesterday. Just a heads up, this list is going to be more focused on changes that I made in my personal life I strongly attribute to passing both the SIE and Series 7 on my first try while I only had 2 months to do so. I also did not have a group to study with and I did this on my own. I really wanted to prove to my boss that I deserve to work with him and I’m so glad I succeeded. Let’s get into it…

1. Eating healthy: sounds stupid but it’s necessary. You have to feed your body good food in order to help better prepare.
   
2. Getting off social media: I deleted Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok when I started studying for these exams. I found that I was able to pay attention to my studies for longer periods of time, and I actually don’t miss these apps at all. Life overall is better without them but I think they’re necessary to delete while studying for these exams. I only kept Snapchat, YouTube and Reddit because I didn’t want to be completely cut off from society and friends lol.
   
3. Taking breaks: don’t be afraid to take breaks while studying. There’s no point in trying to wrap your head around a concept if you’re pushing yourself too hard. I would study for about 20 minutes and then I would take a few minutes to chill. I think this technique is great for memorization.
   
4. Study when you feel the best: again, there is no point in pushing yourself too much. You will not be able to memorize concepts if you aren’t feeling your best. Somedays I just was not feeling well and I wouldn’t study for as long as usual. Sleep is also super important.
   
5. Study everyday: I studied everyday for at least 3 hours, most days it was about 5 or 6 hours. I do have the time to be able to do this but my boss gave me 4 weeks to study for this exam so I really had to push it. I increased it to 7 hours everyday during the last week of studying. You have to keep up with memorization. I quit my restaurant job and took a quarter off from school so that I would be able to pursue this, and it was important that I studied as much as possible.
   
6. Really try to nail concepts from the SIE: this applies to people who are getting ready to start studying for the 7, but I noticed that a lot of concepts from the SIE directly applied to what we learn on the 7. It’s important to have a basic understanding of that exam since they go hand in hand.
   
7. Believe in yourself: I’m a strong believer that you are your biggest supporter! This sounds stupid but I know a lot of people struggle with self worth, including myself. You have to be your biggest hype man!
   
8. Relaxing before the exam: this is arguably the most important thing to do. I took my exam on Monday, and last Saturday, I studied for 7 hours and then went to hangout with friends and we had some drinks. I am not promoting alcohol use, but I am promoting finding a way to relax, and that’s how I felt I needed to do it. There is no way in hell you’ll be able to pass this exam if you’re too stressed. I basically cut out alcohol and hanging out with friends while studying for this exam, so it was nice to be able to see them and be with them. It really helped with my nerves. Some people might scold at this idea, but I have no regrets.
   
9. Going with your gut: I can’t lie, I think I guessed on about 30% of the questions on the exam. This exam is EXTREMELY detail oriented, I was shocked. I honestly did not think I was going to pass while taking it. I marked about 10-12 questions for review, and then decided to not change any of my answers and to just go with my gut.
   
10. FINRA has ridiculous protocols: this sounds crazy, but sometimes, the most wild choice is the right choice. When I was taking practice exams, I would always choose answers that seemed like they would be the right answer, and the answer almost always ended up being out of pocket in some way. I cannot exactly describe what I’m talking about, but if you know, you know. Sometimes I would laugh and think to myself, “that answer is silly, but ok”. I kind of applied the same idea when I was taking the actual exam. There are some really crazy questions that will have the weirdest of answers. It’s funny in a way.
    
11. Things to study: OPTIONS!! Everything about options! Nail it down! Regulations and rules as well. Taxes are important too. Realized/unrealized gain/loss and the different strategies to sell stocks (FIFO, LIFO, etc) are important as well.
    

Good luck to everyone out there! You got this! Keep at it! It’s pointless to take the exam if you’re too stressed and if you don’t feel confident. That’s what’s most important! Cheers!

Howdy,
Thanks for clicking on this post, I hope you find a dollar in the pocket of an old jacket you haven't worn in a while. I'm back on the hunt for a competent roleplay partner who I can connect with. I think the process of building lasting and successful writing projects starts with two people who like each other, so here I am 🎉
A little about me:
32F with around 20+ years roleplay experience.
First or third person, Discord/live chat, CST, minimum one small paragraph (3-5 sentences) responses, and my characters are female or female presenting (some exceptions may apply). Generally funny with a dark/inappropriate/stupid sense of humor, easy to talk to, kind of a grammaspelling Nazi but I won't call the cops on you, no judgements, not easily offended, very passionate about creative writing and serious about finding a long term roleplay partner, will send memes and dog photos unprompted or upon request. I work a lot and have a busy life, so I may not always be available, but I am always reachable within a reasonable time frame and am happy to make arrangements for time slots for chatting or RP discussion. If you prefer someone at your beckoned call, I likely will not be a good fit for you.
Preferred genres are (examples provided upon request):
Fantasy: High, Low, Dark, Modern/Urban.
Sci-Fi: Sci-fan, Dystopian, CybeSteampunk, Space Westerns, Horror
Horror: Post-Apocalyptic, Psychological, Paranormal/Supernatural
Other: Drama, Romance, Slice of life, Sports (Hockey), Crime/Mystery, Fandoms
Multiple RPs at once, world building, character design/development, slow burn, face claims where applicable, moderate OOC chat.
A little about you:
At least 25 years old with several years RP experience.
Preferably a man, or a woman who prefers playing men/male presenting for romantic plots. Any other genre is open season. Strong command of English, a deep passion for creative writing, able to convey complex ideas, not easily offended or upset, can receive and deliver constructive criticism, creative, interesting, involved, responsive, funny, and will reciprocate memes and dog photos unprompted or upon request.
A little we both don't like:
Ghosting.
Gary-Stu or Mary-Sue characters.
High school, teen, or underage RPs.
Self-inserts.
Assigned "roles".
Asking fobeing asked for personal photos of any description.
Political/current event conversations.
If you're interested in hearing some of my ideas, like the way this post sounds, or are in need of a new meme dealer, please DM me your favorite fruit, your astrological sign, and your biggest pet peeve. Thanks for reading.

I just started this new job 2 weeks ago and was super excited because it looks good on my resume, and it was a fresh start after leaving a not so great job. I’m also a student taking online classes so my availability is limited and I gave my availability to my boss at orientation. However, she scheduled me every single day that first week and I finally snapped and said something the second week when I saw she was about to do it again. She asked me to call her and expressed she wanted to schedule everyone respectfully. We went through the entire month of May and I felt she responded well. The rest of last week followed my availability. However, I’m realizing she changed my schedule again for this week adding on a day I said no to and an extra hour on a day where I said I could only do mornings. That extra hour will make it so I have no time for lunch before I go to volunteer at the local children’s hospital, and it may even make me late. I’ve built a very strong rapport with the hospital over the last four months and do not want to damage that because my boss is inhibiting my ability to go there. Thankfully, volunteering is super flexible, but showing up late or calling in every single week would not look good. I don’t get paid to volunteer but I want to work there one day, so this connection is super important to me. I also fear this will effect my schoolwork which is a big no no. I just made the dean’s list and don’t want to lose that. I do think she is just struggling to juggle everyone, but I’m also like is she messing with me?? We JUST talked about this! She’s very nice to talk to and such, but she’s not respecting my time. I am hesitant to quit because I really do enjoy the job and it’s good for my overall career. But it’s only been two weeks and it’s already a persistent issue. My career will disappear altogether if I can’t do well in school or damage my best connection. One of the main reasons I applied for this job besides building my resume was the flexibility it advertised. Idk what to do or how to address this again without sounding as peeved as I am. Is this really something I’ll have to remind her of every week? I know if I just don’t show up it’s an immediate fire, so there has to be a better way. I’ve never been fired from a job and would like to keep it that way. Do I go over her head? Do I leave? Help!

TW: Mention of SA, nothing graphic.
My (20F) parents love my brother (21M) so much more then they love me and I truly don't get why. He's a high school dropout with no ambition other than gaming and causing problems in my family. He is autistic (pretty high functioning tho) and he has bipolar, epilepsy and social anxiety. He has slight brain damage so I think thats the cause of most of his problems, but I'm not sure.
I know his mental issues aren't his fault but they've been made my problem for my whole life. My parents neglected me throughout my whole childhood to such an extent that I was sexually assulted by a neighbor for 3 years, starting from when I was 4, before another neighbor walked in on it and told my parents about it. Even after that I went to about 2 therapy sessions before they forgot about it and went back to ignoring me. I still get nightmares and flashbacks about what happened. I also needed their support and love back then.
When my brother and I was in school my mother only packed lunch for him because I was expected to sort myself out. When I wanted to go to college my parents said they wouldn't be able to pay because it would be unfair towards my brother. I had to do everything myself. I stayed home during college so I could save money on housing and I recently started a full time internship in software development but I still work part time to support myself.
My father is an alcoholic and he is very mentally abusive. He borrowed more than half of my pay check this month and I still have not received anything back. I struggle to survive with what I have, nevermind half of it. My father also wants to charge me rent, which I get, but how is it fair to ask me for rent but my brothers lifestyle gets fully funded by my parents.
They say they don't favor him, but when he shoves me against the wall or slaps me in a fit of rage I have to go apologize for "provoking him". I had to give up so many of my extracurriculars as a kid because my parents couldn't afford it, or I couldn't go do stuff with my friends because he would feel left out. I had to give up my childhood to make his better. I am tired of this blatant favoritism and I am genuinely losing my mind in this house.

Hi all,
I'm a parent of an autistic pre-teen who is really struggling with their mental health. They are in a therapeutic school setting, the staff is amazing, loving, very supportive and genuinely care about my child. However, the peer group is very often none of these. All the children in this setting have been placed there because they struggle with the same issues, although most of them are not autistic.
My child is very bright, kind, and funny but of course struggles to connect with their peers. They are aware they don't quite fit in but don't know/understand why. I know some autistic people are fine with few close friends but in this case they desperately want to fit in and have friends so it's especially painful. The classmates are often verbally abusive, and frequently get in actual physical altercations. Thankfully my child does not physically fight but can absolutely say horrible things to others and even more often about themselves.
The negative self-talk and near lack of any self-esteem is a huge struggle. A bad med reaction really set off the ideation and school requested we take them in for a psych eval which did nothing. We have switched meds but it's only been a few weeks. We kept them home for a bit but sent them back to school yesterday. My child is continually thinking/talking about the negative things they've been told by classmates. It's not possible to keep them home or homeschool as we both work and don't feel safe leaving the child home alone with all that's been said by them to us, school staff and the counselor.
So long question short, what can we do or say to help our child feel better about themselves? I have never personally struggled with depression although my spouse has and is likely also autistic. We are very positive in our interactions, supportive of whatever interests and hyper fixations our child has. I'm terrified they are struggling so much and life has barely started. Any suggestions or advice for my child will be welcome. You all could even write to them personally and I will share it. We love them so much and sincerely believe they will be successful in life.
Thank you if you've read this far!

Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for the NOP Universe.
Hey, I hope everyone's doing well!
Today we return to the namesake of this fic, an actual lesson about animals. This one focuses on Koalas! One of Australia's most recognisable critters. I hope you enjoy.
It's hardly worth mentioning, seeing as I'm an infrequent poster at the best of times, but I'll not have another chapter out for a few weeks due to limited free time and devoting most of my writing time to an upcoming ficnapping. Be sure to look out for that!
[First] [Previous] [Next]
Memory transcription subject: Rysel, Venlil Environmental Researcher
Date [Standardised human time]: 8th September 2136
“Koalas!”
Bernard’s energised voice boomed through the air as the classroom's monitor flickered into life, images of this paws lecture topic popping up one after the other until the entire screen was filled with a collage of furry quadrupeds.
Squee! I’ll never get tired of this, it’s all so cool!
As usual the sight of something new stirred immediate discussion, hushed murmurs swelling into vibrant discourse in little more than a heartbeat. Most of the class swiftly huddled together into small herds to bounce ideas around while the rest opted to stick to the solace of their own thoughts as they took in the display.
I’d be quite happy in either situation, though seeing as Sandi had already sunk into deep concentration and Kailo had peeled off to talk with Ennerif and Solenk, it seemed the decision had been made for me on this occasion. Wasting no more time on idle inspection of the people around me, I focused my full attention forward, eager to form first impressions before the lesson began in earnest.
Now then, time to make some educated guesses. What traits does this animal have? I wonder if I’ll get any right this paw?
Professional assumptions went paw-in-paw with the lectures, examining and coming up with hypotheses about the specimens was only natural. Recently however, I’d started to make a little game of it to make things even more interesting than usual. A veritable bonfire of ideas had been set ablaze within me, fueled by my newfound knowledge of Earthen wildlife. Every flash and spark of the flame was a fresh theory I could try to apply to the lectures. It was an invigorating exercise that further stoked my unceasing wonderment.
So far I’d only done this once during the previous class and, to my disappointment, I’d not done too well.
I was right when I guessed that chickens were omnivores, but wrong in my assumption that they could fly. And that red thing on their head, the um… what was it called? The comb! Yes, the comb. I thought that was to attract mates, but it regulates body heat instead. It’s fascinating. Oh! Stars damn it I’m rambling!
I bapped my tail against my leg, the soft thud being just enough to snap me back from my runaway thoughts before I went completely wall-eyed. I was becoming more and more accustomed to getting lost in my own head while remaining conscious of the fact; it was happening so frequently now that it was pretty much impossible not to. Now I was able to pull myself back to the world around me without having to rely on someone else shaking me out of it. Most of the time anyway.
Sandi still keeps an eye on me, and Kailo even decided to help out once without being too snide about it. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah, Koalas.
Glancing at the furred animals, two things immediately stood out. Firstly, their eyes were in a more central position on their face. And second, all the images showed them being on or close to trees. There were other noteworthy observations of course, such as the Koala’s prominent nose and rounded features, but they fell to the wayside as I honed in on these points first.
Hmmm… ok. I already know to discount the idea that they’re predators just from eye position, so let’s get that thought out of here. Maybe omnivorous? Herbivore? Agh no, I can’t just guess that for the sake of guessing, that’s the same problem! Hrm, it’s tough making these assumptions now that everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
Nevermind, I’ll focus on the other thing. All the trees make me think they’re arboreal, that seems to be a reasonable assumption. I wonder what else they-
Clearing his throat, Bernard broke my concentration, his call for attention silencing the murmuring conversation and redirecting everyone's focus to the lecturer's podium.
His gaze panned across the room as he waited for everyone to settle, a beaming smile lighting up his face, “As ever I’m delighted to see you all get so into the subject matter from the get go. I’m looking forward to hearing what you were discussing should you wish to share. For now though, how about we get started, hm?”
A chorus of merry bleats rang out from across the audience, ears and tails flicking happily in agreement. Bernard's grin grew in tandem with the class's fervour, clasping his hands together enthusiastically as he launched into the lesson, “Excellent! Then let’s get started.”
The pictures on screen dissolved away until only one remained, enlarging to cover the entire monitor with the fluffy grey face of a Koala peacefully reclining in the crook of a tree.
“Ah, there we are,” Bernard’s baritone timbre drifted through the room as he looked up at the image, his own tone reflecting the relaxed attitude of the animal on screen, “He looks so comfortable doesn’t he? Perfectly at peace with the world, not too surprising considering they sleep almost 20 hours a day. A full paw!”
A wave of beeps and gasps rippled through the herd, punctuated by a single yawn-dressed comment from Rova, “A full paw? Hwuuu… jealous.”
Her drowsy remark elicited several whistling giggles from the herd, Bernard's own jovial chortle joining them as he turned to face her, “Late evening Rova?”
I twisted a little in my seat, panning an eye in Rova’s direction just in time to see her bleary eyes bulge open and her ears shoot up, now intensely aware of the fact she hadn’t been as quiet as she thought she had.
Sitting up abruptly, she hastily tapped down errant tufts of wool that’d flared in surprise as she composed herself, though her nervousness at becoming the centre of the class's attention was still plain for all to hear, “Uh- I um… achem, a little bit yes, um- …sorry. Lokki dragged me out to a movie viewing in the rec centre. It went on pretty late.”
A melodramatic bray from the other side of the room drew everyone's ears away from Rova to the now aghast Lokki, paw splayed across his chest in faux indignation, “Dragged you? Well excuse me for trying to broaden your horizons with human movies. That’ll be the list time I- …Ahaaaa…”
Lokki’s theatrics were cut short by a heavy yawn of his own, a swell of whistling laughter rolling through the herd as vibrant bloom lit up his snout, a sight that elicited a particularly amused bleat from Rova.
Turning away from the duo I looked back at Bernard, pleased to see that he was chuckling along with us. Behaviour like Lokki’s would never have been tolerated in my school and university days but, in stark contrast, Bernard revelled in it, the liveliness of his students fueling his own bombastic style of teaching. It was a pleasant change of pace having a teacher who let us all be ourselves in class; provided we weren’t too disruptive to the lesson plan.
Speaking of which.
His laughter still rumbling through the air, Bernard clapped his hands to pull everyone's focus back to him, “Ok, ok, let’s get back to it then shall we? Rova. Lokki. Hopefully the two of you can stay awake long enough until you can grab yourselves a coffee.”
As the class settled down and the last few giggling beeps petered out, Benard pointed a hand to the screen, “So, the Koala. Let’s start simple shall we? They are herbivorous marsupials native to the eastern and southern coasts of Australia. Easily recognised the world over, they are a well known and beloved symbol of their homeland, along with other animals such as the Kangaroo and the Emu. The former of which you might remember from one of our earlier lectures.”
Indeed I did remember, along with how angry Bernard had gotten after some speh-head had derided the Yotul after he explained how he held specific disdain for such attitudes.
Uuuggghh… I never want to see him angry again. So chilling.
I shook my ears in an effort to dismiss the unpleasant memory, panning my eyes back to the monitor to try and distract myself by inspecting the Koala’s physical appearance once more. Thankfully, by some Star's blessed intervention, Bernard had the exact same idea.
“Koala’s are rather squat in stature, ranging around sixty to eighty-five centimetres in length and weighing little more than fifteen to sixteen kilograms at their full size. As you can see, the fur of this fellow before you is a lovely silvery grey, but their fur can also sport a chocolaty brown hue as well. Arguably the most distinctive part of their appearance is their head, being rather large for their body size and having rounded ears, a large nose, and a pair of small eyes. These are often brown but variations do occur.”
It didn’t slip past my notice that Bernard didn’t bother to point out that the Koala’s eyes were forward facing. I didn’t think he’d simply forgotten, so perhaps he just felt it wasn’t necessary given that he’d already stated it was herbivorous. Either way, no one stuck up a paw or tail to question him.
“Now this will hardly be surprising considering how long they sleep, but Koala’s are largely sedentary and it’s rather easy to see why when you have a look into the contents of their diet.”
With the press of a button the Koala on screen was replaced by images of vibrant green vegetation. Soaring trees and flowering shrubbery weaved together across landscape framed pictures pulled admiring trills from the herd, the diversity of the plant life being shown standing as a reminder that it wasn’t only animal life that flourished on Earth.
After giving everyone the chance to take in the picturesque scenes, Bernard casually hammered that point home, “This is eucalyptus or, more accurately, a choice selection of more than 700 plants belonging to the eucalyptus genus, though the Koala itself favours 30 of them in particular.”
700!? Stars…
Realising that my ears had drooped in my momentary awe, I twisted them back to tune into the lesson, only for them to splay out in shock at the next words to come out of Bernard's mouth.
“The leaves of these plants are the primary food source of the Koala and there are a couple things worth mentioning when talking about these plants. For starters they do not have much nutritional or caloric value, leading to the Koala’s low-energy lifestyle. Additionally, they contain toxic compounds.”
A shiver instantly ran through the herd, ears flicking rapidly in confusion and alarm followed by a few quizzical whispers. It didn’t take long for someone to decide to give a proper voice to the murmuring.
“Excuse me Doctor. Did we hear that right? Their diet is made up of toxic flora?” Vlek’s grumbling incredulity cut through the herd's mutterings with ease. Until Kailo’s recent change of heart, the fifty something rotation old blonde Venlil had been a close second in terms of scepticism. Mercifully his rebuttals had always been relevant questions as opposed to ranting diatribes, so he at least remained on topic if nothing else.
Bernard nodded in confirmation, smiling back at Vlek while absentmindedly twirling the end of his moustache, “You heard me right, they do indeed consume plants that are toxic. Just not to them.”
Any worry or uncertainty still clinging to the herd was swept away by the provision of the glaringly obvious answer, leaving me chuckling inwardly at the oversight.
Ah of course! The plant might be poisonous but they’ll have evolved to deal with that. Stars… I’m so used to expecting the unexpected with Earth that I didn’t even consider the simplest solution.
“I see, thank you Doctor,” Vlek replied, a tinge of interest still audible in his tone, “I assume they’ve developed some adaptation to become immune to the harmful effects?”
The question immediately evoked a smirk from our teacher, but he hurriedly suppressed it while bobbing his head, “They have indeed. There are several factors that aid in their digestion of eucalyptus leaves without succumbing to the plant's baleful properties. The first is a part of the intestinal tract called the cecum. It contains a microbiome that allows the Koala to digest the eucalyptus. Coupled with this is an enzyme in the Koala’s liver that helps them break down the toxins. They are also capable of sniffing out the plants with the least amount of toxins, ensuring that they ingest as little as possible.”
Pausing for a breath Bernard looked back at the screen before turning to face us, another grin curling at the edges of his mouth as he continued with his explanation, “This is mostly for adult Koala’s, because while their young also possess these same adaptations, they don’t just go straight to munching through foliage right after being born. No, they need a little help making that jump and getting a stomach full of all that good gut bacteria. It’s nothing bad, but those of a sensitive stomach may wish to prepare themselves for this next part.”
Bernard’s assurances did little to assuage the concern that his warning had foisted upon us. Having been exposed to so much of the weirdness Earth had to offer everyone always ended up on edge whenever Bernard gave advice like this, even if he did say it in jest.
What strange nonsense thing do Koala pups do then? Judging by the way he’s acting it probably isn’t something as simple as drinking milk from the mother. Hmmm…
“So,” Bernard began, snapping us from our pensive stupor, “Young Koala’s, known as joeys, have a gestation period of thirty-five days on average, which is approximately forty-two paws. Once born they travel from the birth canal to a pouch in their mother so that they can continue to develop and grow. In the pouch the joey finds and latches onto one of two teats and these provide the newborn with a steady stream of nourishing milk. It spends the next six to seven months growing in the pouch, its eyes, ears, and fur all developing as time goes on.”
Okay, interesting. But this is exactly how I thought it’d go. What’s different?
The unexpected normalcy of the Koala’s birth and growth cycle had calmed everyone's nerves, only to be replaced with an air of suspicion as we waited with rapt attention for Bernard to drop the other claw and upend our expectations like he always did.
Not wanting to keep us in further suspense he forged ahead, the tempo of his voice picking up as the smile started to crease his face once more, “Now to make the switch from milk to eucalyptus, the mother also feeds the joey a substance called pap. It comes from the cecum I mentioned earlier, and contains all the gut bacteria required to help the young Koala in making the switch to eucalyptus.”
He stopped and looked around, searching us for a reaction to what I felt was a rather bland statement of fact. What was it he was saying without actually saying? Koala pups drink milk to mature and then include this pap substance so that they can start eating plants. I don’t see what-
The cecum is part of the intestine.
I blinked.
I blinked again, the intrusive interruption scouring my brain clean of any other thought bar the one it’d just implanted itself in the forefront of my mind.
Oh stars. They-
“They eat their own poop!?”
The shocked bleat shattered the peace of the room to reveal that most if not all of us had come to the same tail curling conclusion. As the hall filled with unrestrained vocalisations of disgust, an ‘Ugh’ over here and a ‘Blegh’ over there, Bernard’s own bellowing laughter joined the throng of voices.
“Ha! Everytime! Each and every time. Clearly it doesn’t matter if my students are Human or Venlil. Whenever someone learns about the Koala’s dietary development the reaction is the same!”
Pleased with himself beyond reason, Bernard chuckled away while the rest of us grappled with this ghastly reality. While there were plenty of animals that feasted on things that ranged from simply unappealing all the way to the stomach churningly grotesque, I’d never heard of an animal that actively consumed the excrement of its own species. Benefits aside, the prospect of having to do that to survive to adulthood sent a shiver of revulsion down my spine.
Ewww… Stars, I hope I forget this feeling by 2nd meal. They’re serving sturen and magamroot stew later. I was really looking forward to it.
With the herds mood beginning to temper Bernard tapped the podiums controls, removing the verdant collage of eucalyptus to display several similar yet distinct environments, still chortling merrily to himself in the process, “Ok then, with that little foray into their diet complete, why don’t we look at their habitat in more detail? As you might imagine given their diet and arboreal nature, Koala’s live in forested regions, and can be found in tropical and temperate zones. About a century ago they were classed as a vulnerable species, however efforts were made to turn this around and increase their numbers. Sadly the largest factor in their decline was human activity, as the fertile lands that gave rise to their bountiful forests were coveted farm land for our settlements.”
It was strange to hear Bernard so matter of factly admit to humanity's negative impacts on other species. He’d alluded to such things in the past but always with an air of caution, carefully pawing the line between honestly answering a question while not painting humanity as uncaring and destructive. AKA, the ‘predators’ we’d all initially expected them to be.
Perhaps his comfort in making such admissions was a reflection of the class's comfort with him, for no one so much as batted an ear. Even Kailo, who I would’ve expected to jump at the chance to use this as a prime example of predatory danger, only flicked an ear in stern yet silent concern.
A cough from Bernard drew my attention back, a new picture on screen that showed a forest from a bird's-eye view. Drawn across the image were around a dozen ringed areas, some bordering one another while others overlapped to some degree. It took me a moment, but I soon recognised that what I was looking at was a map, the rings representing what I assumed to be territories. And it didn’t take much effort to guess who each one belonged to.
“From habitats we move onto behaviours, so let’s start with territories. Koala’s are solitary animals. Yes, despite being herbivores. Considering they’re only awake for roughly four hours of the day I can hardly blame them. Lots to do and not a lot of time to do it. Jokes aside, once they mature they are quite independent, carving out a little slice of land for themselves, as displayed in this example, called a Home Range. That is not to say they go it alone and leave everything else behind however. Rather, as shown in the map behind me, they live in their own space while still being part of a larger social group.”
With another press of his pad the picture was updated to show one of two symbols in each segment, along with a key to the side of the map displayed in helpful Venlang. A quick glance told me that the symbols were representing whether the territory belonged to a male or female of the species.
“As you can see there is quite a bit of overlap between different Koala’s territories. It is in these areas that most of the socialising takes place between neighbours. The trees in these locations represent the few areas where intrusion across territories is acceptable for the sake of social interaction. Outside of that the Koala’s stick to their own territories for the most part, with the exceptions of Koala’s who are passing through, attempting to become part of the social group themselves, or dominant males who sometimes go off into another Koala’s range. But how do they know where one range begins and another range ends you might ask? Well, this brings us onto the next part of the lecture. How do Koala’s communicate?”
Wiping away the map from the monitor, Bernard loaded up a video of a Koala sitting in a tree and pressed play. Head held high, the Koala’s body shook as it belted out a reverberating call into the wilderness that could only be described as a garbled combination of a car engine failing to turn over mixed with the hiccups of someone with a particularly sore throat.
That’s how they sound? Oof that must be rough on the lungs.
I clearly wasn’t the only one to share such a thought, because I clocked Sandi tracing a paw along her neck as the noise went on, ears fluttering in discomfort at the noise.
Bernard himself cleared his own throat as the video came to an end, minimising it and replacing it with another image of a tree with a Koala rubbing up against the bark, “I think they’ve got me beat on who’s got the deeper voice!”
His joke garnered several amused beeps, a rare reaction that caused a beaming smile to shine across his face at lighting speed, “Oh you’re too kind. I’ll be here all week. Now where were we? Oh yes! Communication. As you’ve just heard, Koala’s are capable of loud low pitched bellows that can carry over vast distances. These express everything from ‘Hello I’m over here’ to ‘This is my turf, stay away’. Bellowing is more common in the males than the females, opting for shouting matches as opposed to outright fights when it comes to asserting dominance. Other vocal expressions include grunts, wails, and snarls if they’re acting particularly angsty. Mother and joey pairs also communicate through gentle clicking, squeaking, and murmuring sounds. And there’s one more thing worth mentioning. Something they have in common with Humans and Venlil when it comes to emoting.”
Really? They do something we do?
Curious, I pressed myself against the desk, straining as close as I could to once more scrutinise the Koala’s features. Not a lot stood out to me at first, the grey marsupial not sharing many similarities with a Venlil that I could identify.
Ok think. We show emotion with our ears, tails, and our wool on occasion. They don’t have tails so it’s obviously not that. Wool standing on end is more a reaction than a conscious expression. So it must be the ears then.
To my quiet satisfaction, my hunch was soon validated by Bernard, “As well as their vocalisations, Koala’s are very emotive through their facial features. Just like humans, they use their mouths and lips to show how they feel, but these tend more towards the aggressive side of the scale than what you might see on a human. Regarding yourselves however, Koala’s utilise their ears in tandem with their mouth movements when showing strong emotion.”
I was delighted to hear that my assumption was correct, a little happy flick twisting out through my tail and bapping against my chair with a muted thump against the plastic.
Hehe yes! Got one right!
“Now then, we are getting close to lunchtime so I’ll finish this segment off with something I think you’ll find particularly interesting. Diplomacy.”
Perplexed mutterings followed in the wake of the bizarre inclusion to the lecture, my own thoughts being dominated by bewilderment as I tried and failed to make sense of how the two could possibly be related.
Why would Koala’s, or any animal for that matter, be linked to diplomacy? Hmmm...
I could understand dispatching exterminators to deal with a predator issue as a show of goodwill, that at least includes animals, but Humans aren’t like that so I think I can safely scratch that off the list.
Maybe the humans who live in that region benefited from Koala’s in some way. Could they have gotten something from them? But what?
Hopefully not what the pups get from their mothers.
Agh no! Begone awful intrusive thoughts. Blegh! I don’t need that in my head.
As I wrestled with the short-lived revulsion inflicted upon me by my Star's damned subconscious, Bernard placed a new image on screen, one that was decidedly different from all that had preceded it.
On screen were more than a couple dozen pictures of humans. Some were pictured alone while others congregated in large groups while cameras surrounded them from all angles. Across all the images, I noted two common themes. First of all, a solid majority of the humans were wearing formal wear similar to what I’d seen worn by UN representatives on TV. If the gaggle of journalists in the background of the photos didn’t already confirm my suspicions, then it was this similarity which made me conclude they were all people of some importance. Likely politicians judging from context clues.
Secondly, each of the individuals was interacting with a Koala in some form. Some cradled one against their chests while others were feeding it eucalyptus leaves or pellets of some kind. One of the assumed politicians had become an impromptu bed for a snoozing bundle of fur, a gleeful smile spread across their face as they lovingly gazed down at the sleeping Koala in their lap.
As I continued to stare at the assorted photos something clicked into place, a sudden spark flickering into life. A burgeoning light of comprehension that flared and swelled with every wide-eyed breath I took. Some things still escaped me, things I hoped would soon be explained, but in staring at all of the humans happy smiling faces, I was struck with an instant of pure understanding.
If someone, say a Nevok for instance, offered to gift me a creature that was common to them but which might exotic and breathtaking to a Venlil, how could my feelings not be swayed? How could I walk away from that encounter and not have grown closer to them as a result?
“Koala diplomacy,” Bernard waved his hand up at the monitor, a slight reverence in his tone, “My favourite kind of soft power diplomacy. Where political leaders take photo ops with Koala’s and, on occasion, the Australian government loans Koala’s to other nations for a time to bolster positive relations. It certainly helps that Koala’s are a beloved animal worldwide, drawing large crowds and revenue for countries fortunate enough to host the adorable critters.”
The truly alien concept predictably sparked instant discussion in the herd, two polar opposite schools of thought swiftly cementing themselves as the most popular opinions. Simultaneously, I heard one voice trill excitedly while another scoffed at what they clearly saw as a ridiculous and offensive notion.
“Squee! That’d be so cool! I’d love to get the chance to see a Liri from Coila. Remember the Rainbow Boa? Think of that shimmering effect and colour but put it on a bird! Ah! I’ve only heard their song on video. It’d be a treat to hear it in person!”
Ooo! I’ve read about them! I’d love to get up close to one.
“Loaning. As if animals are property to be hoarded and traded? Pugh! Another predatory trait the humans don’t want to acknowledge for what it is.”
Ugh, typical. Jump right to the worst possible option.
However, despite my dismissal of their disparaging fumings, an uncomfortable thought pressed upon my mind. While it was plain to see how much humans cared for the Koala, it didn’t change the fact that humans did keep animals as property just as the scornful herd member had said.
This begged a rather important, disquieting question. Aside from keeping some animals as cattle, a stomach tightening minefield I had no desire to step a claw onto right now, how else did humans keep other creatures. And how did they treat them?
Before I was fully conscious of doing it my paw was in the air, the question primed on my tongue.
Noticing my elevated paw Bernard pointed at me, smiling warmly, “Yes Rysel? What’s on your mind?”
Sorry Bernard. I hope this one’s not too awkward for you to answer.
Flicking my ear in appreciation, and waiting for everyone to settle enough so that I could be heard, I voiced my concerns as neutrally as possible, “Thank you Doctor. I uh, just had a thought. We know that humans keep certain animals for… particular reasons, and we know why. From how you’ve spoken about Koala’s I think it's fair to say that the same cannot be said for them. However, this makes me wonder, what other reasons do humans have for keeping animals and how do you treat them?”
A flash of surprise blinked across Bernard's eyes but vanished so quickly that it felt like I’d imagined it. Had he not expected such a question? Maybe he was just shocked that it’d been me who’d ended up asking it?
Stars, am I so predictable that no one expects me to ask difficult questions?
Unfortunately, a quick glance at my deskmates seemed to prove that to be the case, as both Sandi and Kailo were looking at me with differing degrees of astonishment flapping in their ears.
Well speh.
“A very good point Rysel, certainly one that’s worth raising. Yet another example of you all anticipating what I have to say before I can bring it up myself.” Bernard tapped the podium, switching off the monitor before returning his focus to me, “We won’t be needing that. I’ve nothing prepared that I can show you and we’re heading to lunch in a few minutes anyway. Still, that’s plenty of time to give you a bit of an answer.”
A bit? What does he mean just a bit?
Made even more curious by Bernard's preempted admission that he wasn’t going to fully answer my query, I dialled both my ears on him, fixing him with an inquisitive stare as he started to explain with a tone that was noticeably more nonchalant than any of his previous explanations.
“So, animals in captivity for reasons other than what you already know. Honestly I would love to delve into other reasons regarding why we keep animals. However, I have a lesson plan in the works that I hope to share with you all in the not too distant future. Some of it touches upon this very topic and I’d quite like to bundle it all together. That said, I can tell you how animals in captivity are treated. In short, the answer is very well. There are a mountain of laws both on private and public interests that govern the standards and ethical treatment of animals, and breaches of these laws are quite severe even for relatively minor infractions.”
While I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed by the vague answer to what was really the bulk of my question, I was at least satisfied by Bernard’s assurances that animals in captivity, such as the Koala, were well looked after. Considering the barely subdued grumbling coming from some corners of the audience it was clear that several of the herd didn’t believe Bernard outright, but I trusted him to be honest. Additionally, the mention of an upcoming lecture focused on humans keeping animals caused quite the buzz.
I felt a mix of excitement and trepidation at exploring the topic further. He’d pretty much confirmed we wouldn’t be talking about cattle farms, for which I was relieved, but that still left a huge amount of uncertainty in what was to come.
Humans keeping animals as cattle was a forgone conclusion. As horrifying as that reality was, it was one I could understand from a detached and strictly clinical point of view. Being predators they ate meat and therefore they kept cattle. But the concept of keeping animals for any other reason baffled me.
What could be the purpose? The diplomacy thing makes sense now that I have context, but what other reasons could they have.
The class's discussions were interrupted by the recognisable ring of the break bell, the shift in attention eliciting a change in conversation from confused hypotheses to peppy conversation on how everyone was planning to spend their break and what they had in mind for 2nd meal.
“Well I can see everyone’s excited for lunch, and who am I to disappoint,” chuckling Bernard waved us all up from our seats, pocketing his pad from the podium and heading to open the classroom door for us, “Enjoy your break, get a good rest along with a hearty meal, and I’ll see you all back here at the usual time.”
As everyone else filed out I stayed behind, waving at Sandi and Kailo as they left, and pawing over to Bernard once he and I were the only ones left in the room.
Ears folded down and with an apologetic tinge in my voice I greeted him as I sidled up to him, “Hey Bernard, I uh… sorry if that last question was unexpected.”
Chortling in reply, Bernard waved a hand through the air in a sign I’d come to understand meant ‘not a problem’.
“No need to apologise Rysel. It was a good question and most certainly not a problem.”
Heh, called it.
I sighed, allowing tension I didn’t realise I’d been holding to relax itself from my shoulders, “Phew, that’s a relief. I’m glad. I’m curious to hear what this new lesson is you’ve got in store for us by the way.”
Bernard wagged a finger at me, throwing up his eyebrows in mock amazement, “Oh are you now? Well I’m afraid you’ll have to remain curious for the time being. It’s going to be quite the surprise if all goes to plan. But…”
He trailed off, glancing at me before looking to the door like he was making sure no one else was around.
Wait, is he going to tell me? Oh please yes let me know now!
Stopping myself from jumping on the spot in excited anticipation, and trying my damndest to stop my tail from wagging in equal measure, I stared up at Bernard as he stewed in his thoughts before turning back to face me.
“I can’t tell you the specifics, but I’m working with Alejandro and Tolim to get something together. A trip that’s not a trip as it were. And when it happens, I’m going to need a few of the more accepting members of the class to lend me a hand. I’m hoping you and a couple others will be able to help with that?”
A trip that’s not a trip? What does that mean? Agh who cares about that right now! Bernard’s relying on me to help out!
Still trying not to keep myself from bouncing around with pup like glee I swished my tail and nodded my head in joint agreement, happy to help with whatever Bernard had in store for us, “Of course! Anything you need I’ll be there to lend a paw. You can count on me!”
A broad warm smile lit up Bernard's face, a hand patting me on the shoulder in appreciation, “Thank you Rysel. I knew I could rely on you but it still warms my heart to hear it. And, as thanks for this and for the many times you’ve shown your support, the surprise includes a little something special I think you’d appreciate the most.”
If my earlier enthusiasm had been at a nine, then the implication of a supposed gift sent it rocketing all the way to a hundred in a heartbeat.
“Wait… WHAT!? What do you mean? What are you doing?”
As impossible as it seemed, Bernard's grin grew even wider as I almost lost myself in wool shaking exhilaration, “Call it my own form of Koala diplomacy. But I’m afraid that’s all I can say for now. Wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise even for you!”
“Oh you ass!” Whistling jovially I bapped my tail against Bernard’s leg in fake indignation, evoking a barking bellowing laugh from the man himself.
Still laughing, the two of us departed the class and made for the canteen, my rumbling stomach leading me on while my mind spun with fantastical thoughts as to what Bernard had prepared for us.
And what specifically he had in store for me.

I’m sort of freaking out right now. Tomorrow I’ll be going to the school cafeteria to grab food in a container and eat some place else.
I don’t really have any school friends so I’ll be totally alone in a cafeteria with like 300 students around me. I’m terrified that I’ll be judged, or that something terrible will happen. Not to mention that the school lunch feels unsafe since it isn’t made by me.
I wish that I could go with someone, it would make everything so much easier but I can’t. I desperately need some kind words.

I think it’s so funny. The whole comment section of crusty TikTok is saying she’s glowing and that she’s matured and then there’s always that one person that is so funny and has to bring out what she’s doing wrong and then that whole comment section under that one comment says” can nobody give her a compliment without your miserable attitude”, but I think it’s funny because that same person is in Rachel‘s comments tearing her down, and is tearing down everybody else in that comment section that doesn’t agree with what crusty does and all the people that give Rachel a compliment they tear them down, anybody else noticed that crispies and big back no ass fans are just so toxic and so hypocritical And crispy if you’re listening or reading this get a life and stop hurting your unborn baby because some people would gladly take that baby out of your care. If you don’t want it and for big back no ass your music nobody wants to hear it It literally sounds like a Disney Channel movie gone wrong also, Jacob put a pin in your girlfriend‘s ass because she’s starting to look obsessed with Rachel. We all know she loves kissing girls so maybe she’s in love with Rachel but let’s be real It’s getting weird also get a damn job and support your kids for once pay something for G health insurance or when he goes to school pay for that it’s not that hard to pay for something that you created and for the new baby Well clearly you didn’t even want him so my advice for that would be put a condom on it Let’s not have the next baby mama for another year Give it a break and break up with crispy panties because we all know it’s coming and settle down find a cool job and start paying for your babies and not relying on girls to pay your way. And for Tyler man the hell up and break up with her man she’s cheating on you like grow up and leave Find someone that actually wants you because she doesn’t and everybody sees it except your blind ass self and if Rachel reading this get G before crispy panties and Jacob have that new baby because clearly crispy can’t respect your boundaries as a mother and constantly tearing you down and also sending her friends and minions after you, you have enough proof to get G out of a toxic and homophobic, racist crappy household also can we just mention that there is literally nothing healthy in crispies house for your household Ellie has fruit and vegetables and then balancing off with a couple treats here and there crispies is just junk food.

I was going to make a throwaway but no one IRL knows my reddit so I guess it'll go here, I never saw myself making a post like this but I feel like there's no one I can talk to about this because a lot of people around me have a "grow up and get over it" type attitude about it.
For some context my mental health has never been amazing but I've generally always been a very ambitious and enthusiastic person. When I was a kid I was desperate to be an actress and I went through all the necessary training to do this through high school and college but due to a disability affecting my legs, along with burnout, unrelated trauma and being short and a little chubby (which is basically a death sentence for most actors unless you're exceptional or very lucky) now that I am 24 and have been out of training for so long it's obvious that it's just not the path for me, I'm not willing to ruin my mental or physical health for it and moving away from my mother who's acting as my carer would be a bit risk since last time I attempted drama school I ended up dropping out three months in after a breakdown that sent me to a psych ward temporarily where I was diagnosed with Autism .
I've been anxious and worried about my future since. I like my job but it's not exactly my dream to work in retail my whole life and I want to do something better with myself, and I was mostly working through these issues until a couple of months ago when my on and off boyfriend of six years decided to cheat on me during my birthday party and then dumped me over text a couple of days later. It now seems he's dating the girl he cheated on me with and he's now decided his favourite place to go two or three times a week is my favourite bar that I used to work at, know everyone and feel safe, even though he told me he hated it when we were together. He was abusive and I'm happy to be out of the situation but he's isolated me from somewhere that felt safe for me and although it's by far the worst relationship I've had, I've never actually had a relationship that was good, which leads me to think I'm just not worth being treated with any kind of respect.
Because of the looming dread of how my future is going to play out since currently I'm always broke, I'm unfulfilled, I'm single, I have friends but not many really close friends (the closest of which lives in another country and I only see them twice a year if I'm lucky) I just have such an overwhelming desire to change every single little aspect of myself to the point where even looking in the mirror is physically painful because I can't believe that my face and my body and everything else looks so weird and lumpy and not as good as other peoples. My room is a mess because I was homeless a couple of years back so I have no furniture and being disabled prevents me from dong anything too that's going to tire me out too much unless I want to be in bed for days which I really can't since I have a job and a life that I need to tend to.
I started briefly dating someone, and he was really nice and we had a good time together but we agreed after our third date there was so romantic chemistry so we called it off, and even though I know we wouldn't have worked out and it's better to have him as a friend it also feels like an added name to the list of people who don't want me, which left me feeling like if I was thinner, or more funny or less TMI or taller or more interesting etc etc etc he would have stayed even though I didn't even want him to.
I'm also really overthinking things I've said, like to the point where it's physically all I can think about for days if I say something slightly rude or embarrassing to someone, I don't even know if Identity Crisis or existential crisis is the right term for what I'm going through so if anyone else knows different please tell me what's happening to me. I think I might have an undiagnosed condition or disorder that's flaring up because I keep being told how I feel is normal but I don't think it's normal to feel like my brain is constantly fighting itself and it's manifesting in physical symptoms like tiredness or hot flashes. I want to make these feelings stop and I don't care what it takes but I feel like I doctor won't listen to me at all because they didn't last time, they just gave me a week off work and said there was nothing else "worth doing."
I just really want to be happy and I just feel like the world around me won't let me. I've been getting into writing recently and I'm ok at it so it's a possible career option but I know it's not a likely one so I'll just settle for feeling ok for a while.

Hello, I am 19 years old and i have a sister that is 10 years younger than me (9 years old). I've been worried about what she watches for a while and the impact it has on her. I can't remember when exactly it was but maybe like a year ago my dad gave my sister her own phone (before she could only borrow his phone). Since that happened she got addicted to yt shorts. I can see the negative impact it has on her, an example: I've tried watching some anime with her, specially to try and make her watch some show with a story and not the brainless yt stuff and it gets some intrest from her. When we started doing it we could watch even 10 episodes of it in a row and she would be fairly invested, since then she can now only watch 2-3 episodes before she claims that she is bored and runs off and she fidgets a lot when watching. She has been getting more and more rude towards me and my father as well as any family we may visit. She also watches stuff on a computer, she has been doing it for a long time, unfortunetly she was the watcher of that brain dead elsa spiderman garbage and my dad just played it because he found it funny. nowadays she doesn't watch that stuff anymore but she just watches diffrent types of brain rot with shitty influancer types. She seems to be very behind in school stuff, she still can't read much, she can only do it very slowly and with errors, not enough to watch something with subtitles for example. At her age i was able to read full books already, she is also behind in other subjects and has a dismissive attitude towards learning claiming that she doesn't need it. She also claims that she doesn't like books. My dad hasn't been pushing her to do any reading or anything.
Recently when my family gathered for easter, me and some other family talked to him about why short type content like yt shorts is harmful and I think that he kinda got it? He said that he will look into it and block it but he keeps delaying it. He generally spoils my sister a lot buying her often unhealthy food.
I want to try and do something about my sister's brain rot. The problem is that my dad keeps putting off blocking youtube on her phone over and over again. Like any time that I try to tell him to do it he claims that he is busy and puts it off. The part that annoys me is that the things that he is busy with are often much less in priority like taking care of the garden behind the house which I completely don't care about. Shouldn't taking care of your child and family be more important than some stupid garden work?
I also tried to tell him to block youtube or at least set some time limit for youtube on the computer. I started searching around on that computer about the methods to do that and testing out some browser extensions but when i started doing that he started telling me to go off and telling me to not block normal youtube for her because "she likes it" and claiming that she doesn't just watch brain rot (I've looked at the stuff she watched and I never saw her watching anything decent and I am pretty sure that my dad just doesn't pay attention to what she watches more than giving it a 1 second glance). He pretty much said without saying it that I can't block it because when she watches it, she shuts up and he doesn't have to deal with her.
Here's the thing, do you have any ideas on what I should do to convince him to do those things? I am pretty sure that he just doesn't know how and why that stuff is harmful. because he is of an older generation. Here are two problems: my dad has a tunnel attention span. Basically if he does one thing, he can't focus at all on another one and barely listens to anything and tells you to go off until he finishes it. The other one is that he almost always claims to be busy and it's hard to make him do something. That's why I can't see being able to have him sit down to watch some video explaining the whole thing. Do you have any ideas?

Hi so my bf (18M) and I (18F) have been dating for around 3 months and recently I can feel my bf pulling away from me. Initially I thought it was the stress of his car window getting broken by a landscaping company 2 weeks ago, and he’s pissed that the guy who promised to hire people to fix it for him keeps pushing it back. Recently he is messaging me much less, often doesn’t open my messages even though he’s open. Also he’s much less affectionate with kisses and stuff like that. Normally we go home together after school every day and hang out for around an hour but recently more and more he’s been asking to hang with his friends after school while I wait and eventually he takes me straight home.
I want to give him his space and not be too clingy but at the same time I’ve been extremely anxious and crying myself to sleep over this. I know many men tend to withdraw when they’re going through things in their life but idk if giving him more space is gonna help or only make us more distant. Another part of me is starting to think maybe I’m not interesting enough for relationships. I see the way he laughs and plays with his friends and maybe being with them helps him take his mind off things. I wrack my brain for funny things to say to him but we’ve talked about basically everything there is and I’ve always been a more reserved person. What am I supposed to do?

In short the idea is akin to the Idiocracy "Not Sure" type thing, where the character is given a weird wrong name in some official sense and then throughout the story he's almost always referred to by that name by the other characters.
It's only for some college writing class but it is a world I'd want to expand on in the future because I like the potential the story could give me. It's a kind of space-opera, I'm trying to add funny things like tropes and references from classic books and older movies - but in space!
GRIPE: So I usually ask my little brother for advice cause he'll give it to me straight and a view from a reader rather than writer (he doesn't write at all, he's just a varsity athlete still in high school and reads sci-fi mostly from Preston & Child) And he warned me that doing this may be tiring to the reader.
Like one idea was a guy submitted a form without filling out the majority of it so his name would be First Last. And my brother said a reader might get annoyed when they "think" of my MC they're saying a word in their head that isn't a real name. (Not locked on First Last, that was just an example I gave him.)
I kinda get it, but what do you think.

My entire life has been shit.
In school, I was used as an emotional punchbag, with everyone in my friend group always picking on me.
I feel pathetic, ugly, stupid and weak. I feel like my life is worthless, and that if I were to carry on living life I will never become successful, and never have a relationship. All I will be is a failure, pathetic.
I want to kill myself so bad, and I can’t bring myself to tell people, and my friends would think I am joking, or say “You’re not suicidal lil bro”.
Also, everyone I know makes this joke about me, which pisses me off but they think it’s funny.
I don’t know what to do, because even if I don’t end it I know I will lead an uneventful life.

I bake as a hobby, and every once in a while I bring stuff in to work to share with my coworkers. I've gotten a reputation for my "fancy" desserts. Every month we have a staff meeting during lunch, and sometimes it's a potluck. The first couple I brought dessert, but there wouldn't be a main I could eat and then I'd be stuck working the last half of a 10-hour shift(of a physically active job) running off raw veggies, chips or crackers, and dessert. So the last few potlucks, I've brought a main so I actually have something I can eat. I've tossed around(not to anyone, just in my head) the idea of bringing both a main and a dessert, but I go to school full-time and work part-time on top of that, so making multiple things just isn't feasible.
Anyway, we had a potluck today, and afterward one of my coworkers got mad at me for not bringing dessert??? She said I'm disappointing people, and therefore I'm being rude by not bringing dessert. I told her my reasoning and she called me selfish. She even said no one likes my non-dessert food and that it's not good (and, I mean, when I bring in spicy stuff it barely gets touched, but that's just a matter of taste and spice tolerance). I'm just absolutely bewildered
I ended up laughing in her face (not even intentionally, it just escaped due to sheer bafflement) and she got pissed. I just dipped after that because, thankfully, I'm off this afternoon since I have class.
I'm just,,, so confused. Like, that's not normal. That's not normal to say to someone or to think about someone. It's not my responsibility to bring in desserts just because I have a reputation for it. No one should be expecting me to bring desserts in, anyway, since there's literally a sign-up sheet for mains, sides, desserts, etc. Plus it's coming out of my free time and my own money.
I probably should be offended or mad or something, but instead I'm just bewildered. Like wtf

This oves truckstop is mostly stocked, they also have a few Disney the Disney and some on the end capp by the ice cream are on sale
Please adopt them if you can
We are doing a reset ,leave tomorrow, walked in got lunch,went to get snacks,we always check we have a lot of the adorable small ones
I was going to get a small one,while deciding my partner ,went all right,don't look at me with puppy dog eyes and grabbed her,I think he loves are ever-growing squish army more than I do
My partner says squish are like pringles,you can't just have one
The seahorse was the last one ,she was hiding,I saw and was like who is that ,so my partner grabbed her. Put her on the end cap so I could see,he than said ,ok,come on...he doesn't want to admit it yet but I really do think he loves them more than me
Other truckers look at us like we are werid,I use a cane now so I couldn't carry the squish
It's also funny ,hre just grabs a squish and doesn't care what the other truckers think,the staff always think he's adorable ,he says it's for my wife/partner

Context, last year I was head over heels for a girl who put little to no effort into the relationship in return, I was conflicted by her actions and our experiences all the while i was reading 1984 by George Orwell. I wrote this at a desk in a school hallway in isolation.
Genre: General essay?
14.5.24
To my love,
I’m stuck sitting in isolation with absolutely nothing to do. I’ve crammed so much of 1984 into my head that I’ll need to push some of it out. 1984 is a lot to read. Maybe it’s the way I read it or maybe it’s the pacing but sometimes I'll be reading it and find myself relating to it in a way. A quote stuck with me;”He pulled her round so that they were breast to breast; her body seemed to melt into his.” It reminded me of way back in the abandoned Asda stairwell when I melted into her- semi-conflicted between love and lust. After the stairwell got closed off; I felt as though I had lost a part of me too. I even found another stairwell but I knew it wouldn't be the same. It would feel forced, like how I turned her into me so that we could face each other. Sure it wasn’t with the intention of making out but it wasn't thought through first- almost impulsively. In1984, a couple pages later, it speaks about the kisses turning hard; unlike the smooth, butter-like melt they were before. I can feel that. It’s almost vivid. I feel as though after the thing with Austin, everything kinda crashed. When [NAME] had red hair, it was almost like she was infatuated with me. When she dyed it back to normal, I felt as if I had lost that. I could be delusional but when she said she hated who she was with the red hair, it kinda stuck with me. Overall, It’s very on-off. One moment I find myself fantasizing about marriage; the next, I see myself breaking up with her on the horizon. But after that first DM on insta, I promised myself it wouldn’t be a repeat of everyone else, she wouldn’t be a lesson or a test, she would be the practical, the real fucking thing. The one who kept me up at night simply with the thought of her. Is it bad if I relate to WInston? Lost and conflicted within society and using writing and reading as a means of escape. It isn’t necessarily illegal but the stuff I write feels like it could be critiqued in a way that makes it resistant- pushing against the normal methods of writing. Actually, I despise Winston. He let temptation overcome him. Sure, his environment may have dictated him into fantasizing rape but I still think that shit’s inexcusable. He still thinks fondly of it afterwards when having sex as well. Orwell is so fucking good at writing though. How can someone write so vividly that I have to stop, think and reflect upon my life and experiences. I think I’ll show [NAME]this paper. I’m not 100% sure she’ll read it; my feelings tend to be insignificant to her. But if someone wrote something about me, I’d be ever-so-curious to find out their perspectives. I also find it quite funny how Winston blabbers on to Julia about death but she abruptly shuts him up. Maybe that’s why she wanted me to read it (I need to stop yapping about death in situations where it’s uncalled for). When I write this, it’s like I’m texting her but she isn’t texting back. Or it’s like when I say something drunk with the drowsiness of fatigue and she reads it in the morning and that shit doesn’t hit the same AT ALL. I still remember when she was in Nottingham and we called the entire night. A part of me hopes that next time she calls (if she even does) we will get back into the swing of things and we can rebuild that bond. But for it to happen, I need to take a step back and stop being so fucking high maintenance. I’m constantly writing. My head has an endless flowing dialogue of words waiting to be scribed but not all of them do. Sometimes it feels like i feel too much; I feel so much; so much so that it numbs me to feeling. I’m not sure if you can relate but it’s like bubble wrap almost. Pumped up with feeling, any other emotion bounces right off. Or like a mental paracetamol, that kind of numbness. When [NAME] said that paracetamol burns holes in your stomach; I guess that's why when I feel numb, the words pour right out. Mental paracetamol should be a coined term. I feel like Shakespeare when I say that. Actually, right now, I feel like I’m in a void, a medium almost. A confined corner; trapped by the constant sounds of expensive dress shoes slamming against the hallway floors. I hope she reads this. I hope anyone reads this. I am seeking attention even in solitary confinement. I guess it’s inevitable for “just another kid with ADHD''. I think I’d like to write a book for her. Not in a puppy love-esque way; instead to make something she can enjoy. I’d have to binge a fuck -tonne of feminist literature to make it work. I’d have to live, breathe and regurgitate Sylvia Plath just to make something enjoyable for her (I’m kidding of course). (Not really). I’ve written so much- this could probably count as a fucking book. I’m not sure where she would even find the time to read this. She’ll probably lump it alongside the Smint container (filled with poems for her) to read when we break up. I think perspective changes a lot about a book. It’s not entirely how a book is written; instead, it’s about how you approach it or how you are introduced to it. I’ve been very pessimistic and pushy-away-ey recently. Regardless, I won’t cross anything out unless it’s a typo. I think it indirectly shows progression of a character especially when it’s in the form of hypophora almost. I want to write the best book ever and then die and have no-one read it. I think that's more significant than writing a shitty book and campaigning and promoting and all this consumerist bullshit. If you were proud of your work, you wouldn’t promote it, you would let it find its reader. For me, I’d put it in those tiny bird box community libraries that no one uses. Therefore, if someone craved my work, they could find it in a place they wouldn't look for it. Not for my book to gather dust on a tall decorative bookshelf. This is a bit of a rant i know. SOmetimes I’ll yap and let the words flow instead of actively writing them. Writing words is the worst way to write. You need to apply emotion and let the words unravel themselves. At least, that’s how I write, critique it however the fuck you want. I was once told that my writing is like a conversation- you know the ones where the other person keeps blabbering and you can’t get a word in. I don’t read enough to know if it’s unique or not but I know why I do it. It’s like I’m conversing with myself. I might throw a name in there or add some direct address. This might be breaking the fourth wall a bit but i guess the entire nature of this essay is. I need to read over my writing one day- I hate to do it but I think I’d learn a lot about myself if i did so. My writing feels a little bit lost at sea. It’s very jumpy from one topic to the next- like scrolling on tiktok. Also, I think there's a mix of me searching for empathy via slight victimization and undertones of slight narcissism. I’m probably over analyzing but I like my writing. Me personally, i get lost in the labyrinth of the lines and curvature of the letters. Will i regret writing so much? I mean sure, I guess a part of me will live on forever in my writing. But, then again, it’s wasting my life. I’d like to live- living is not writing. Living is not reading. To live is to experience with every sense possible. If I see, I am not living. If i smell, I am not living. But, to hear, to smell, to feel, to see and to taste simultaneously is to live. When living isn’t enough, I can understand why people resort to reading and writing. It’s ever-so-simple. I wish I can see [NAME] soon though. I’ll wish for it at 22:22 if i have to. Or on a shooting star. Or maybe even on a stray eyelash. I miss you[NAME]. I was going to say “I crave you” but that’s too sexual and comes with a million connotations. Saying “I require you” is too formal and needy. I think I should stick to the usual. What if i didnt say “I miss you” but instead I said “I miss your warm and enveloping embrace.” Maybe then she would text back.
This is fucking delusion,
From yours truly,
Raffy

I'm rewatching the show for the umpteenth time, this time with my 13 yo son for whom it's the first. We're not English native speakers, but he's developed a pretty solid understanding for it in school and on the internet. He's digging the show and wants to watch an episode every day that he's at my place, but he also says he doesn't understand too much of the developments.
I was older than he was when I first saw the show (I turned 17 the year it started in Finland) and looking back, I must've missed out on a LOT. But of course, being a high school kid I probably understood a lot more than my son does. Looking back on a LOT of movies that I saw at his age, I don't think I understood much beyond "fun, explosions, hot!" And even in high school, I didn't really understand characters beyond "that guy's evil", "that Lt. Cmdr is funny and hot", "I wanna punch that guy in the face".
So, I grew interested: if you saw the show when you were young, how old were you and what was the experience like for you? And if you rewatched it later, what was that like?