60th birthday poems mom

I (21f) decided to never see my best friend (20f) again after a series of events. Yes it is painful but I have my own reasons 1. She was always unhappy with my birthday presents for her( stuffed animals,ceramic stuff).She never bought me anything for mine (I am not complaining I know relationships are not solely meant to be based on materialistic things)She always wanted me to buy her more

1. She has zero manners (made my mom wash her blood soaked underwear, bossed my parents around in my home etc)
   
2. I was the one always paying for everything.
   
3. She blamed my illness for her not being able to have fun in life( I never asked her any help when I was sick. The only time I asked her was to fetch me a glass of water which she refused)
   
4. She lied about me and gaslighted me in front of other friends
   
5. She and her fam( her fam came to visit when we were roommates )took my stuff and used in without asking my permission, dried her underwears in my bed after stripping it off covers, went through my stuff, found her mom staring at me sleeping during midnight, finished my food without my permission, made me pay for everything etc:-
   

7.When we were roommates I was the one doing 75% of chores while she slept.
8.She would get what she wants at others expense
9.Copies everything I do hair , makeup, clothes etc
So I kicked her out of my life completely because clearly she is a golddigger and I am not interested to be her sugar mommy. Besides she is entitled,rude , unhygienic and has zero manners. My other friend said I am a major AH for kicking her out of my life. I don't think I am an AH. AITA?

My bf (22m) and I (20f) have been LC/NC with MIL since last July. I blocked her on Facebook in may after sending her a nasty her for missing her son’s 21st birthday party. She had 2 months notice to the party and made excuse after excuse about why shouldn’t come, ultimately it ended up being because we didn’t want her alcoholic husband to be there and she refused to go with out him. She never even sent him a birthday card.
My bfs birthday is at the beginning of may and this year MILs husband sent him a message asking what he wanted for his bday during the second week of April. My bf does not like him, wants nothing to do with him and has explained this to his mom. So the message was never read because he has his notifications blocked, I saw it about a week and half after while looking on his phone and told my bf. He was annoyed but just txted MILs husband back, we didn’t hear anything for over a week and then she invited us up to dinner at her house. They live about and hour away so we said sure whenever is fine, we just want to be home before 10 pm, they wanted to wait until we all had a day off so we agreed. They were waiting to getting Sundays off so we could come up but my schedule just changed and now I have to work Sundays so I told my bf to let his mom know. She said that she is trying to find a new job because they cut her hours at work, MIL and her husband always work at the same place and her hours always get cut…
I just want to vent because this is not how my family is, birthdays are special and to be celebrated with all of your favorites because you need to enjoy life. I wish this women would even take a second of her own time to spend with her son, even on the phone without her husband talking too. She didn’t send him a card or anything this year either. We live and hour away and she commuted to a job an hour and 15 mins away for over a year!!!! I want to believe she cares about her son but everything she’s ever done to him and treats him tells me she doesn’t.

I’m a Millennial woman. And to be honest, umay na talaga ako sa paguugali ng ibang millennial at boomers kong kamaganak and kapamilya na buong buhay nila nakalathala sa mga social media apps na akala mo content creator. Pag birthdays, anniversaries, death anniversaries, achievements, mother’s day, father’s day, valentines day, lahat nalang ng holidays. Kailangan magbatian? Kailangan mag post or comment na binabati mo sila kung ano man sine-celebrate nila?
Especially sa side ng mom ko. Lalo pa ang mom ko. Nagtatampo kapag wala ka pang post pag sapit ng 12am at di ko siya nabati sa soc med. Kailangan makita lahat ng tao, kailangan ilike ang mga posts at magcomment.
I’ve tried not doing this and shutting up sa soc med, ang tanong ba naman sakin “Bakit di mo pa ako binabati sa fb?”, “Bakit di mo nilalalike mga posts ko?”, “Batiin mo naman sila baka magtampo”. Like whaaaaat?
I’ve always wanted to uninstall these socmed apps and have detox kung nasan sila talamak. Kaso para akong nakakulong sa kabalbalang tradition na binuo nila. Parang every month may need batiin. 😣
ABYG kung mas gusto ko na piliin ang katahimikan sa social media o gago na ako dahil pamilya naman sila?

Okay, so I need help because I've been driving myself insane. I (17 F) have been with my boyfriend (17M) for 1 year now, and everything has been fine up until this past February. I have noticed how he hides his feelings from me. For instance, I was at a party and he acted weird, and I asked him about it, but he shrugged it off. He left, and I genuinely thought maybe I was just imagining it, but then, after about 5 hours, he told me that he didn't want me drinking or partying because he doesn't do it. Long story short, we argued, but we never really got into an agreement.
Fast forward to March, when I found out I am going to Spain for vacation in July, but he insisted that I ask my parents to leave me so I could be with him. We got into an argument, but as before, we never got into an agreement. This happens a lot - he starts something, and it always circles back to me, and all of a sudden, it's my fault.
What really ticked me off was when I was planning what to do on my birthday, and I told him I'll go eating with my mom, but he started all, "Oh, but I wanted to be with you, but never mind..." and I told him about how it made me feel like he wanted me to cancel the dinner date with my mom, but then he started to get so defensive, saying that I'm always starting an argument when I just expressed my feelings.
Lately, I feel like when he expresses his feelings, they are 100% valid (which they are), but when I do the same, I'm starting an argument. And he really started questioning me, like, "I already said sorry, why are we still talking about this?" and this argument, as you guessed it, never got to an agreement.
I feel very frustrated, and my love for him is starting to end, but I don't know if it's okay for me to break up with him. Please help!

Currently it is 6:26am in about 3 hours i have to get up to start my 16 hour shift. 11am-:330am 5 days a week until august. My moms birthday was just February and we are now in may soon to be june. So i feel like 120 days isnt so bad and should go pretty fast if i just stay busy at work it will make time fly. Hope anyone reading this has some motivation after seeing this post to pick up some extra hours as well so we can start getting what we had back as fast as possible instead of sitting in our miserable ways asking for forgiveness but not gaining any progress. We have to start now!

So one of my best friend’s (let’s call her A) brother’s is getting married. My best friend (A), our other best friend, and I (24F) are all a long time trio. We have been a close group of friends for more than 10 years.
We are all from Southeast Asia. However, A has been living in the US since 2017. She moved there for college and has been working there ever since. She visits from time to time, usually during Christmas, and we all hang out. I’d say we video call more frequently, but since the pandemic, we only see each other in person twice a year.
A has been telling us about her older brother’s wedding for a long time. Her older brother is marrying a woman who comes from a pretty well-known family. Majority of his fiancée’s relatives are popular actors and actresses or married to them, to the point where one of her non-celeb uncles married a popular actress and ran for a high political position using that, and won.
Because A’s older brother’s wedding is in July, she is flying home to attend it as a bridesmaid. She discusses the wedding with us from time to time.
I am not actually sure if A will invite us or not, and I don’t want to voice anything because I don’t want to invite myself. Plus, the bride and groom (her brother) might want a small wedding. However, I made the mistake of telling my mom—“It’s fine if she doesn’t invite us, though I would really like to see X.” X is a popular and handsome actor; he’s the bride’s cousin, and he got pretty famous due to a Netflix show. Now, he even has an international fanbase.
My mom is now insisting that I have to jokingly tell A— “Hey, if you have extra seats, we’re willing to go! We want to catch a glimpse of X.” She says that it’s culturally acceptable in our region to voice these things out (she’s kinda right, this is an Asian wedding), and everyone in my region invites their close friends to their siblings’ weddings. My mom also said that cost won’t be an issue (A’s dad is a billionaire).
Although my friend and I do want to go, the fact that A hasn’t really said anything about inviting us probably means she’s not in charge of the invite list. Besides, July is right around the corner.
My mom keeps saying that if I don’t voice it now I’ll regret it, and that A probably wanted to invite us anyway but forgot due to her scatterbrained nature (she is pretty forgetful, one time she almost forgot to invite us to her own birthday party when we were the only non-relative guests on her list). I’m putting my foot down and told my mom I won’t be asking for an invite just out of common courtesy, and now my mom is mad.
WIBTA if I jokingly ask A for invites to her brother’s wedding? (ADDENDUM: A once said we were all invited to her brother’s wedding, but this was in 2018–she mistakenly thought he was proposing that year).

Relationship struggles: Should I break up with him?
Okay, so I need help because I've been driving myself insane. I (17 F) have been with my boyfriend (17M) for 1 year now, and everything has been fine up until this past February. I have noticed how he hides his feelings from me. For instance, I was at a party and he acted weird, and I asked him about it, but he shrugged it off. He left, and I genuinely thought maybe I was just imagining it, but then, after about 5 hours, he told me that he didn't want me drinking or partying because he doesn't do it. Long story short, we argued, but we never really got into an agreement.
Fast forward to March, when I found out I am going to Spain for vacation in July, but he insisted that I ask my parents to leave me so I could be with him. We got into an argument, but as before, we never got into an agreement. This happens a lot - he starts something, and it always circles back to me, and all of a sudden, it's my fault.
What really ticked me off was when I was planning what to do on my birthday, and I told him I'll go eating with my mom, but he started all, "Oh, but I wanted to be with you, but never mind..." and I told him about how it made me feel like he wanted me to cancel the dinner date with my mom, but then he started to get so defensive, saying that I'm always starting an argument when I just expressed my feelings.
Lately, I feel like when he expresses his feelings, they are 100% valid (which they are), but when I do the same, I'm starting an argument. And he really started questioning me, like, "I already said sorry, why are we still talking about this?" and this argument, as you guessed it, never got to an agreement.
I feel very frustrated, and my love for him is starting to end, but I don't know if it's okay for me to break up with him. Please help!

TF2 used to be my life
I originally created a steam account back in 2016 because my best friend wanted to play TF2 with me. I had barely touched FPS games, much less any PC game to begin with because I grew up a sheltered kid from a poor family. My mom subscribed to the whole "FPS causes violence" philosophy and would get mad at me for playing phatom forces on Roblox when I was 13-14 years old. Needless to say, I wasn't supposed to be able to play TF2 or much of anything violent for that matter, but nonetheless I continued.
My dad had a shitty old macbook pro that he had as a work laptop for years and years. The thing finally gave out and was decommissioned and he "disposed of it" and brought it home to use as a family computer. This thing could barely run flash games, but I downloaded tf2 anyway and struggeled through the 10 minute load times and the 20-30 fps on a good day to play. The allure of the game and the characters helped me push through the buggy laggy mess.
When I got to high school I got another shitty laptop, this time for school. This one could TF2 albiet not much better than the first and I spent hours of my life watching tf2 youtube videos and playing the game. I was so into it my sophomore year that I almost failed multiple classes in school because I engaged with the game so frequently. It was one of the few games I could play (I used to watch let's plays of games I couldn't run so I could still experience them) and I loved tf2 to death. I played sitting criss cross on the couch because I didn't own a desk, and used the cushion space next to me as a mousepad. None of my friends played it but it was my personal escape from the world.
Right as covid started I scored my very own gaming laptop. Lenovo had a discount on laptops for school, my parents were more well off than they had ever been, and I managed to sweet talk my dad into getting me something nice for my 18th birthday. The FIRST game I put on that thing was TF2 and I practically cried because after years I finally had something that could run it. By this point I was better at the FPS genre and the bump in computer specs made it even easier to excell. My mother wasn't ecstatic that I was playing FPS games but she let it slide because I was getting older. About that same time my friends got me into Apex Legends and because of years of trial and error with TF2 I was actually not too bad at the game. I even competed in some minor tournaments and won a hat from an Apex competition, proving my mom wrong and showing that what I enjoyed wasn't a complete waste of time, and I credit TF2 with both my teacher for FPS and my passion for the genre. Several years later I even saved the money from my first job to build my own PC.
I was there for Rick May's death, I was there for the begining of the botting of casual servers, and when I say it wrenched me to my core, I mean my teenage high school self cried as I deleted and redownloaded my favorite game mutliple times over several months. I never really did experience the hype of new updates as I only truely got into the game post jungle inferno. But I've been here for the slow rot and decay that has taken place over the past seven years as the game has faded from an old glory, to a rotten corpse.
The game in it's current state is barely playable, there are workarounds for it, but it's insulting to watch the thing that really started my passion for PC gaming and really gaming in genral get repeatedly kicked to the side. I realize that "Valve as a company works differently" is an excuse that gets thrown around a lot but I know I'm not alone in saying that this is not the end TF2 deserves. Its been SEVEN FUCKING YEARS since we got any kind of real attention from Valve and while it probably doesn't men shit I love this game and I don't want to watch negligence to consume the thing that has given me so much joy.
I love TF2 and I don't want to watch it die, not like this...

So this time last year (May ‘23) I went to see HR regarding a hiring committee I was a part of and the favoritism they showed a candidate. The Director of HR, granted she was the only HR employee at the time, is this beautiful African American woman with big, bright eyes and a gorgeous smile. We talked about my committee and then we just talked about life. She was going through hard times. We ended up becoming fast friends. I would go and check up on her.
Fast forward to August, I went to go see her again. Just dropped in as a quick hello and was reminded how beautiful she was. The next week I saw her. She stopped by where I was standing in line for food and touched my shoulder, finger to skin, and I literally felt a spark go through me. She just stopped to say hi. I think that was the moment I couldn’t stop thinking about her. From that moment forward I started to go to her office once a week. We had great conversation. I was learning more about her. We had astrology in common. We learned about each other’s families. We both were having problems as she was on the edge of divorce. My love life at the time was nonexistent with my wife and crumbling. However I started to enjoy her company way more than expected.
Because of our interest in astrology I knew her birthday was coming up in October. I decided to buy her a birthday card with a gift card for a restaurant. Before I got out of the car I said to myself ‘I think I’m in love with her’. That’s when I knew I was in trouble. I had began to write poems about her (which seem to be therapeutic) and having non stop thoughts of her. Mind you I’m still going to her office once a week. I gave her the card. We are still talking. She’s still going through shit with her husband. I’m talking about her to select coworkers. I offered to buy her lunch, another way to spend time with her. Well turns out she had a meeting with our CEO and we would have had less than 10 minutes. I was devastated. Like seriously heartbroken. Thus began my limerence. I still went to see her every chance I got. Probably too much. She never told me to not come and see her. In fact it became ‘You should come by more often’. I did.
A conference that both of us and several other employees attended happened in late November to December. We were very connected at the hip. She flashed me her room number without saying a word. I chose not to go. Literally the week before during Thanksgiving two things happened. 1) I ran into a psychic who gave me a reading and told me not to sleep with her. 2) My wife and I had a devastating argument about the state of our marriage. It had went to shit when we started therapy. Skipping the fact that I didn’t go up that night we had a great time together. We spent an incredible amount of time together. It was fun. I felt incredibly refreshed having spent time with her. The one downside to the entire trip was that she told me she was reconciling with her husband.
I asked her out twice for a meal in December. She never gave a direct no, but created excuses. January came and she got sick. I texted her a lot checking in on her. When she came back I asked her if I texted her too much. She said yes. I completely stopped. I think my poetry ramped up more because of that. She also reminded me she was trying to reconcile with her husband. In the same breath she asked me how I was doing as I was newly separated. It became emotional.
The next event per se happened in February. After Valentine’s Day I went to see her. I asked how things were going with her and her husband. She said they went well. I had started talking with people on dating apps. I mentioned this to her and she seemed a bit bothered. I was surprised. Somehow my wife came into conversation and I told her that I talk to her more than my wife. She blushed! Despite having good moments with her I was heartbroken that her and her husband were doing well.
I didn’t go see her for two weeks. There was a function midday. She waved at me and I was excited to see her. When I started to walk towards her she turned around and ignored me. This hurt me severely as I have trauma from people ignoring me. I stopped going to see her again. She texts me for my birthday, granted it was a week late, but I was excited. This was the first time we had a text conversation in over two months. She mentioned that she had to take medical leave. Needless to say I was devastated. I went to see her and she was very sad. She started telling me about her family life as a child, but we were interrupted.
While she was out, a coworker started a meal train account for her so she wouldn’t have to cook. There was an area where you could buy DoorDash gift cards. I bought $200 worth and also sent $300 in visa gift cards via a coworker who would see her.
When she comes back to work she tries to give one of the gift cards back. I told her I wouldn’t accept it back.
I’m very in love (or limerence/infatuated) with her. I’ve tried dating other people, but that doesn’t help as I end up talking about her when asked is there someone else.
I want to ask her what her thoughts are about me, but I’m horrified that she thinks I’m a creep.

Okay, so I need help because I've been driving myself insane. I (17 F) have been with my boyfriend (17M) for 1 year now, and everything has been fine up until this past February. I have noticed how he hides his feelings from me. For instance, I was at a party and he acted weird, and I asked him about it, but he shrugged it off. He left, and I genuinely thought maybe I was just imagining it, but then, after about 5 hours, he told me that he didn't want me drinking or partying because he doesn't do it. Long story short, we argued, but we never really got into an agreement.
Fast forward to March, when I found out I am going to Spain for vacation in July, but he insisted that I ask my parents to leave me so I could be with him. We got into an argument, but as before, we never got into an agreement. This happens a lot - he starts something, and it always circles back to me, and all of a sudden, it's my fault.
What really ticked me off was when I was planning what to do on my birthday, and I told him I'll go eating with my mom, but he started all, "Oh, but I wanted to be with you, but never mind..." and I told him about how it made me feel like he wanted me to cancel the dinner date with my mom, but then he started to get so defensive, saying that I'm always starting an argument when I just expressed my feelings.
Lately, I feel like when he expresses his feelings, they are 100% valid (which they are), but when I do the same, I'm starting an argument. And he really started questioning me, like, "I already said sorry, why are we still talking about this?" and this argument, as you guessed it, never got to an agreement.
I feel very frustrated, and my love for him is starting to end, but I don't know if it's okay for me to break up with him. Please help!

Okay, so I need help because I've been driving myself insane. I (17 F) have been with my boyfriend (17M) for 1 year now, and everything has been fine up until this past February. I have noticed how he hides his feelings from me. For instance, I was at a party and he acted weird, and I asked him about it, but he shrugged it off. He left, and I genuinely thought maybe I was just imagining it, but then, after about 5 hours, he told me that he didn't want me drinking or partying because he doesn't do it. Long story short, we argued, but we never really got into an agreement.
Fast forward to March, when I found out I am going to Spain for vacation in July, but he insisted that I ask my parents to leave me so I could be with him. We got into an argument, but as before, we never got into an agreement. This happens a lot - he starts something, and it always circles back to me, and all of a sudden, it's my fault.
What really ticked me off was when I was planning what to do on my birthday, and I told him I'll go eating with my mom, but he started all, "Oh, but I wanted to be with you, but never mind..." and I told him about how it made me feel like he wanted me to cancel the dinner date with my mom, but then he started to get so defensive, saying that I'm always starting an argument when I just expressed my feelings.
Lately, I feel like when he expresses his feelings, they are 100% valid (which they are), but when I do the same, I'm starting an argument. And he really started questioning me, like, "I already said sorry, why are we still talking about this?" and this argument, as you guessed it, never got to an agreement.
I feel very frustrated, and my love for him is starting to end, but I don't know if it's okay for me to break up with him. Please help!

TW for mention of critical illness, hospitals, parental strife
This story spans over a few years so I'm sure I'll have to edit this to clarify.
When I was 17 years old I got diagnosed with a thing in my brain* through an MRI.
^\The shorthand is "AVM" for arteriovenous malformation, a tangle of blood vessels that irregularly connects arteries and veins. In the brain, it can cause brain bleeds which affect cognitive and motor function and can also result in death. The way i explain it is that you've got the blood pressure and flood of an artery going into a deformed clump of capillaires and veins with thin walls, deforming them further. The risk of rupture increases every year. Idk if it sounds scary enough like that, but it's like a ticking time bomb.)
I got gamma radiation shortly after, which is only relevant because they use a metal frame with metal spikes they drill against your skull so you can’t move your head during radiation. I chose this method of treatment because it was supposed to be quick and painless with no general anaesthesia but it turned out that the treatment experience was completely traumatising and I’m still living with a clinical PTSD diagnosis following that.
This mode of treatment aims at calcifying the inside of the veins in a specific zone and the gradual closing of vulnerable veins can take from 6 m to 3y.
I have siblings and we’ve all always been afraid of our dad. He was always extremely authoritative and we were very well behaved because of that. He got angry very easily, and the smallest thing would send him storming off screaming and breaking things, preceded by silent treatment (which was somehow the scariest all). He’d punish us extremely strictly, and would often drive up to 40km/h over the speed limit to scare or punish us, the reasoning was something like « if we all die it’s your fault because we made me angry).
All this to say my relationship with my father has always been extremely vertical and our relationship never grew into something like equal footing and I always got extremely nervous and scared whenever I was about to meet with him.
This being said, there is no amount of words I can use to describe the depth of my love for him. He drove us around without a protest for hours and hours and hours, gave us a beautiful luxurious life and never missed any of our important dates. Birthdays and chistmases were an avalanches of gifts and we were completely spoiled. He was extremely involved and I know he loves me so much. I’ve stopped speaking to him a few years ago but it truly breaks my heart because I love him so much and I miss the smell of his aftershave and I know he misses me very much too.
When the MRI result came back, my dad was there. He was the one who walked up to me and said « everything is fine, there is just a *little* thing.
I’m sure this was hard for him because his mom died of cancer when he was 28, but he never mentioned it in relation to my illness.
Pretty quickly, my dad stopped me whenever I mentioned illness and made sure I amended any mention of the experience by adding a sweetened positive twist at the end like « I’m glad I learned so much » or « but I grew so much from the experience ».
Gradually and too seamlessly for me to really notice, he decided I was « cured » and would no longer tolerate any mention of illness. He’s get impatient, tell me off, and even genuinely angry when I did. He’d say « you’re cured now » and « idk why you keep talking about this, it’s in the past now, you need to move on and live life ». Important note here : he is not a doctor, just a regular dad in the world with zero medical knowledge.
I don’t know if it was his own version of « manifesting » healing for me or a symptom of his fear. I wonder if he misunderstood the neurologist saying it could take up to three years to see if the treatment was effective. Before the 3 year mark, with no tests and MRIS to back it, he’s managed to completely convince himself and the rest of the family that I was cured and only still talking about it for attention. He even invented a pseudo-psychological term he dubbed the « syndrome of the sick child » to belittle my fear and worry and terror and loneliness, which if I understand his concept correctly meant I was clinging to an expired diagnosis in order to be babied and gat my parents attention. IDK maybe this can give you insight into his personality, how convincing he could be.
And it was just a really lonely experience for me. All of the « why are you still talking about this you ‘re cured and you need to move on now », while still trying to cope with so much fear of dying at all times, without having anywhere to talk about it. I wonder if the lack of parental support I experienced thought such a traumatising experience as a teenager and then as a young adult was what contributed to transform the trauma into clinical PTSD (diagnosed).
Eventually, I got my 3-year mark MRI. The radiologist was my dad’s BIL and he called my dad and gave him the result directly instead of contacting me directly. I was a legal adult and ab. 22 by then. My dad then called me on the phone, I remember the conversation so clearly, he said I was cured and I proceeded to call my mom and grandparents and best friend to share the news.
yay now you can move on. When he got home he popped a bottle of champagne open in celebration.
This was so tough because something didn’t quite sit right with me. Because of growing up hypervigilent I’m usually good at telling when someone is lying and twisitng the truth.
He seemed off on the phone, and in person, and I couldn’t tell if it wasn’t just that I couldn’t imagine life ebbing cured.
A few days later the BIL called me and said there was a lil persisting on the MRI. I wonder if I’d been brainwashed by my dad already by the time BIL called because when I asked dad if there was anything he didn’t tell me, he said « well you can’t expect to be 100% cured with things like this », and « 99% cured is the same as 100% » and other things of the sort. It was like he’d twisted the results in favour of his opinion.
By that time, I was stuck and really confused, and everyone was already convinced I was cured. And it got really hard for me to know what to do and where to turn because I was till so young and the hospital system was so confusing.
It took two years for me to decide to get a second opinion. Someone else looked at the MRI and said there was still something left, but since I’d heard my dad assure me it meant I was cured, it took considerable effort for me to reach out to my service in the hospital again for an appointment with the specialist I’d seen back when I was 17. This alone was extremely challenging because no one took be seriously, and I had to call the secretary office on a daily basis for a couple weeks to ask what I should do to get a confirmation I was cured. I’m quite headstrong and I wanted to hear from the specialist directly that I was cured do as to have no doubts at all. Throughout this, dad tried to discourage me and then eventually accepted it might be the only way for me to move on.
The MRI happened and I sat in the neurosurgeons office at the hospital of my nightmares asking if my results were conducive with full recovery. He confirmed there was something left, and then that the aim of treatment is to be completely cured. That the malformation should not be visible on an MRI once it was cured. He added that the risk of rupture increased each year. I soon had another more intrusive san done and it confirmed there was a little left, which meant I needed to get another round of Gamma radiation.
This hit me like a ton of bricks.
The second round of treatment was just as traumatising as I’d remembered the first round to be.
I don’t know what to do with how angry I am with my dad. He lied to me and invited all of us to live in a fiction of his making, thus endangering me. Every insistence I’d been cured and needed to move on when I wasn’t, and in fact the risk of me having an aneyrism was growing with every day.
The worst is that he never apologised. He instantly switched up his story and started pretending he’d never said I was cured. He created a whole new fiction where « he’d always insisted I’d get a more thorough MRI checkup ». It’s so unfair. How he can’t embrace a world where he’s wronged me, and not because it destroyed me but because he can’t be wrong. He has to be perfect. How unfair.
I most likely wouldn’t have mede it past the age of fifty if I’d believed of indeed obeyed him.
I used to check my memories again to make sure I hadn’t made it up, and eventually I accepted I’d never get an apology. And that I was wronged and I didn’t deserve that. And that I should’ve gotten the support I needed.
I’m cured now, I sat in another doctors office a year ago and he said my MRI came back normal and the AVM was no longer on the scan. I’m really proud I was so headstrong.
And eventually I decided to take distance from my dad, and life improved when I stopped talking to him. I know it hurts him, and that he’s extremely angry. He expresses this to my siblings, and I know they get punished in my stead and I feel so guilty. But I can’t be around my dad, I’m too angry. I’m trying to live with the love I have for him in my heart, with my childhood memories and the guilt and missing him and then more guilt for being happier now that I don’t have to talk to him and listen to his tirades. And I worry for my siblings who still talk to him, because he doesn’t treat them kindly and they deserve so much love and admiration and support, which he’d never give them.
I used to want to press charges and I wonder if he shouldn’t be in prison for what he did but he’s a vicious man and he’s go to much money and friends in high places that I couldn’t take him on. And things would get ugly, I know. I just wish he could pay for what he did.
I’ll update later for typos and clarifications :)

[ lengthy post ahead ]
Hello Be*, idk if you’ll ever see this but I’ll send it anyway. We met once at his birthday celebration. When we were still together. With the cheater I know he is, I knew he was eyeing for you since you are attractive. Without a doubt, I was mesmerized by your beauty as well, and I saw that as a chance to finally end that relationship. I joked with you pa nga "Gusto mo sa’yo na lang (ex ko)? Toxic naman yan e." That was true, yet I wasn’t wrong though. You ended up dating and even having a baby.
Fast forward to now, I came across your tiktok account, and there were no posts from you, just reposts from other accounts explaining the situation you were having—Cheating, living with a narcissist-pathological liar, and being emotionally, verbally, and mentally abused. I feel so sorry for you since I have experienced all you are going through. Don't get me wrong, I don't pity you; it's just that I wish you knew that I went through everything he made you feel while we were together. He was disrespectful to my parents and his mom, always came to our house at the middle of the night, intoxicated, and I was always afraid of what he would do if I did not accompany him because he had anger issues. The reason why I experienced trauma bonding with him. Idk, if he shared this with you, but we also had a baby.
That was our difference. You chose motherhood, I didn't. When I found out I was pregnant with him, we weren’t talking for a while (our whole rs was like that, on & off). Still informed him about it, and when he found out? he told me, "Mag-PT ka ulit, baka niloloko mo lang ako para bumalik ako." (ew) but I was afraid back then, so I did in front of him kasi akala ko gusto niya. I thought having a baby with him would change him, but it didn't. He still cheated on me despite knowing the fact that I was pregnant, so I decided not to continue my pregnancy because I had so many ambitions and couldn't risk them for someone who is incapable of loving. That includes both of us. I wasn't ready, and I couldn't imagine him being a good father to my child, nor could I because I didn't know how to love myself. Before that decision was made, a lot of “fixing” happened, I begged him several times, cried, and was still called insane while going through pregnancy just bc I was asking for assurance..
When I finally decided that there were no hopes for us, I finally blocked him everywhere and he was calling me thru his mom’s phone number— It was chaotic, and the only thing on my mind at the moment was that I needed to get rid of 'this' because my kid did not deserve what he was about to see, if he made it. I went to the OB alone and was terrified. I took three f*king PTs, and they were all as clear as water, indicating "positive". However, when they were checking up on me, the physicians informed me that they had trouble finding the baby's heartbeat. Yes, it was ectopic.
Am I a bad person if I felt relieved? Because I did. I was in anguish, too. I felt compelled to blame someone, and so I blamed it all on him. Ofc, he branded me "crazy" and had the audacity to say, "Kung di ka lang sana nag-isip nang nag-isip. Kasalanan mo yan!” After losing my kid, I never went back, but I still sobbed every fking day, wondering how in the world I could have met someone with no heart. I never even got an apology. Until December 202 (we were in no contact for 2 months, after losing my baby) he was following one of my best friends and saw me on her story, he sent my best friend a DM to introduce me to him again ‘para makabawi’ he said, I didn’t really understood what he meant by that, makabawi para sa nagawa niya? O para lokohin ulit ako? that’s when he began booty calling me again. I met with him while I was still in the process of moving on from everything and the trauma bond remained strong bc he told me he was sorry, that’s what I thought. I had no idea you were already with him at that moment, till the morning when he and I were still together, and saw that you were bomboarding his phone with messages and calls at 6 a.m. That’s when I knew. I saw myself in you. I went home feeling ashamed and disgusted with myself. Cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know anything, he fooled me once again. Worse, he made me his sidechick, something I wouldn’t even dream of becoming.
I’m sorry. I was about to confront you, but shame consumed me. I never intended to hurt another woman. But believe me, I never met him again despite of him sending me messages every now and then, despite the fact that I already blocked him everywhere & even changed my phone number, but still he asked where I was, if I was available, and anything else you can think of while you and him were together. The only thing I want from him is my money, which he owed me. Damn, I was so stupid.
But, anyhow, all I wanted to say was that while this may sound cliché, you did not deserve it, all the pain and self loathing. Scrolling over your reposts, I see you're also in pain because of your baby daddy. I am very sorry that you and your kid had to meet a monster. If you and him are still together and came across this, and the patterns remain the same. Do me a favor: get you your baby out of that boy's life because HE WILL NEVER MAN UP. I hope your find the strength to walk away because you don’t need someone who makes you feel unworthy of the right kind of love. You deserve a love you ought to give, and nothing less.
I assumed he told you about how I was the toxic one? Heck, I was. It's because he cheated on me several times, lied straight to my face after crying and running to me to come back over and over again, and still managed to hit up on girls while knowing I was pregnant. That’s what a narcissist does, I’ve had trust issues and anxiety as a result of him. In my perception, your existence was a blessing to me, it freed me from that situation. It was never easy, it really felt like I was going insane, bc how in the hell could someone do that to me— who had full of love in my heart, but shattered into pieces after offering a love that’s genuine. But I did, I was able to walk away and I hope you will too.
Girl, I sincerely hope that things will work out for you in the long run. Losing my angel, opened my eyes, and I pray it will do the same for you and your little one. I apologize if I also caused you pain. You deserve a love that is safe, calm, and at peace. Most of all, your baby do not deserve a father like that, you’ll both do fine on your own.
Please save yourself; no one will. I dodged a bullet, unaware that you would be the one to catch it. Please, just live even if it feels like dying; I promise you, it will be over shortly. Above all, prioritize your own well-being. We never deserved it; no one ever does. From woman to a woman, I am rooting for your healing, Mama. ❤️‍🩹

Greetings from Germany!
next year - we're going to fulfill our moms livelong dream of going to New York for 1-2 weeks. Besides everything else there is to do in New York, we're also big fans of testing restaurants, eating locally etc. We will primarily stay in the Manhattan or maybe Brooklyn region.
For her upcoming birthday I thought it would be fun to create a collection of different possible foodspots that would be nice to visit (and this sub has definitely helped me out so far). And to top things of, I wanted to include a gift-card for one of the restaurants. However among the restaurants that I looked up, I wasn't able to find any restaurant that a) offered gift cards internationally or b) offered gift cards alltogether.
Do you by any chance know of a good restaurant that also sells gift-cards? Is this even a popular thing in the US? Because here in Germany, restaurants offer these very often.
Thank you for your help!

On December 30, 2023 I took my mom to the hospital because she kept falling and hit her head, after hours of waiting for results we found out she had a brain tumor. After many doctor appointments, my mom decided she didn’t want to do treatment because of where the tumor was and because her nephew passed years back from the same thing. She didn’t want to put us through that. On January 26, 2024 at 8:45a God called her home. I’ve never been so heartbroken in my life. I feel so lost without her. I’m trying to be strong for my daughter but it’s hard. I just want my mom. She’s already missed so much in such a short amount of time. My daughter’s 1st birthday, getting teeth, and her first steps. My heart breaks knowing my daughter won’t know her Gammie besides stories I tell her. She was an amazing mom, Gammie, and aunt. No one could ever compare. I start to call her and break down when I realize she’s not here to answer or I send her pictures/videos when my baby does something cute or silly. It’s just hard…💔

My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year, we are long distance. I most recently saw him about a month ago when he came to visit me, this was following our breakup last year that was initiated by me after he failed to follow through with his plans to visit at the time, among some other issues we were having. I’m sensitive about what someone says they’ll do and even more so when words are all I have to go off of like in our situation. It was hurtful at the time and it left me very confused, wondering why his actions didn’t match his words and if he meant what he said.
FF to now — he did a 180 and carefully planned his trip to see me, making sure all of it was done in advance. It was a lot of fun and it was really hard to say goodbye. About a week or so after he left, he told me how he had been thinking constantly about my upcoming birthday and that he would like to be with me for it. He said he wanted to come back and had planned to initially surprise me by planning someone with my mom, but then decided to just tell me. I was excited that he wanted to as I really want to be with him and didn’t know he was thinking the same.
Other than that night and one other time, he has not brought up my birthday. His plans of coming to see me have not been brought up and it’s starting to bring up those feelings from last year. My birthday is in a week, if it was further out I wouldn’t be feeling this way, but it’s a bit close for comfort.
I don’t want to have to ask him about HIS idea for my birthday, if he can’t come anymore why hasn’t he already said it? What should I do?
TL;DR bf is being flaky about trip for my birthday

Hi I have a boyfriend whos mom doesnt like me. I havent seen his mom in person yet but we had talked once on the phone. I thought everything was fine cause in the relationship its always 50/50 in everything. We take this fair. I got my own job, business and studies at the same time while my boyfriend had already pursued his career. I never asked for money or anything. When we go on dates I made sure that I will have my part of share. Now, his mom doesnt like the idea of me and him going on a date and idk why. Everytime there is an incidents she would sort of blame me that it happened. On my part, I really would get hurt cause I did not even do anything to upset her. I understand that she doesnt like me but what I dont understand is her reason of getting upset to me. There was this one timee that my boyfriends wallet was been snatch on his bag while we are walking and I heard his mom on the call blaming me for it. She even said that is it fine and she would understand if I was not there but I was there thats why shes angry. I told my boyfriend that its gaves an impact on my being that his mom is acting like that to me. He as a guy close to his momy and is confused since he doesnt want to choose. I was not referring on to whom he choose but I hope he would make his mom understand that I am not the type of woman she might be thinking of. In my side of family we really had this culture of family gathering. That even the boyfriends and girlfriends are always there invited. This last occasion I have was giving me mental breakdown cause it was a very big deal on his mom. That even on a family gathering that is not tagged as my birthday or graduation or any other occasion, he was there. His mom was upset that he went there and asked if it is my way of making sure that I can just see him if I want. Idk it is confusing me. Am I the bad guy here.

I didn't go to my 4 hour long math test. I couldn't concentrate at all for the last three days. My room was and still is disgusting. I spent two days very slowly cleaning and at least cleared my desk, which was almost impossible to use before. I couldn't study at all yesterday even with my desk cleared up and finally took a shower after three weeks and brushed my teeth again. I'm severely depressed and burned out.
I'm in high school, and my mom in particular is very worried about my future. We've had this conversation multiple times about work and my future, but I didn't see myself living past the age of 12 before and still feel like I'm that age even though I'm almost 17 now. She keeps saying that she and my dad won't always be there to provide for me in the future. I can't see a bright future ahead of me when I finish my education and get a degree, I find the idea itself impossible. I don't want to work. I don't have a passion to pursue. I'm in a science-oriented high school, yet I hate most of our subjects and they don't interest me. I only chose it so I could pursue an education in the medical field just for the money. The only thing I'm interested in is is art and literature, but I'm too burned out to actually write anything when we have an assignment. The only thing I can bother to do is read classic literature, philosophy, and history books. I can't bring myself to read anything chemistry or physics related, sometimes biotech when it's related to animals or nature, but the biology of the human body? No thanks. I used to draw a lot, but now the idea of art just infuriates me. I hate it so much, yet I still find myself scribbling something or forcing myself to draw or paint something for my friend's birthday.
I don't know what I want to do with my life and feel like a burden to my family.

link to original post here: https://www.reddit.com/Catholicism/s/ZfZH0IXzR9
TLDR; I’ve been happily married 8 years, 2 kids, and found out I was pregnant with our third days after being informed I’d be laid off (and I’m the breadwinner). I asked this community for stories of babies that God surprised you with (and boy did you guys deliver!)
Anyway, that was about 6 months ago!
After I posted here, I interviewed at a ton of places including an absolute dream job (doing what I’ve wanted to do for 10+ years, ideal title, lifechanging salary, fully remote). Every night I’d let God know that I trust him and especially his timing, which was hard because I knew what I wanted (a job, this job specifically). I took a few weeks to freelance to reserve my unemployment bank for maternity leave.
About 2 weeks ago, while I was still in interviews with the dream job, agonizing around how to disclose the pregnancy, our third daughter was born. She is premature and had to do some NICU time for weight gain and because of her age (no other health issues).
A few days after that I got rejected from the dream job. That was hard. Then my grandmother had a heart attack a few days later and they determined that she probably wouldnt make it out of the hospital. That was much harder. While my daughter was stuck in the NICU, my grandmother who I desperately wanted her to meet began hospice and passed. Even though she was 90, it felt very sudden. it happened within about 3 days of the heart attack. the day after her passing was my grandfather (her husband’s) birthday. It does give me some comfort that they were reunited for his birthday. I still feel like I didnt get enough time with her, but I guess we always feel that to some extent.
The funeral was really tough. My cousins and our parents were all really close with her for our entire lives. She built a beautiful family and by the end of her life, was praying a rosary every day (she prayed intensely for my daughter when I went into premature labor). She got last rites three times in those final days. I feel very confident that she died a saint.
So this all put things into perspective for me. I am not someone who loves being a stay at home mom, but it really feels like God is trying to show me I have the gift of time right now with my girls (and my husband). I love my job, but at the end of a life well lived, the job doesnt matter.
I also realized since my last post that I will legally qualify for paid family and medical leave through my state based on my previous salary. I can freelance a bit on top of that to make a full salary, and I might be entitled to a full 6 months leave (waiting now for this to be confirmed). That would take me almost to the end of the year. I’ve never had this much mat leave before, I’m always rushing to get back to work.
Anyway, lots of things are still up in the air, but I thought I would update you all. I am bummed about the job, but my daughter is home with me now (finally!) and I feel a lot of gratitude. I am still praying that God’s will be revealed to me in his time. I feel at least a bit more clarity now around what He wants of me in this moment.
If you have a moment today, please say a prayer for the repose of my grandmother’s soul. thanks all 💜

This is mostly a rant about the grief I feel about losing a couple of my friends. In general I’m a fierce friend, very loyal and very supportive to the circle of people I call my own. It just so happened that over the past year I realized how I was putting in way more effort into a couple of friendships than I was getting happiness out of it, but I was doing it because I wanted to be a good friend. Over time I started putting myself first and enforcing boundaries about what I can and cannot do and that has eventually resulted in me losing touch with those friends. Which confirms my initial instinct that they were my friends because of all the effort I was putting in!
Friend A (30F), B (28F) and C(27F) have all been good friends of mine for years, one of them since school and one since college. I have gone above and beyond for them whenever they needed me, or they were in trouble. A went through a breakup and I’ve helped her through it, listening to her rants and breakdowns for almost a year. B was depressed for a while so I flew down to stay with her for a bit, cleaned her apartment, got her groceries, took her out to cheer her up. C was struggling a lot in her personal life, she would call me any time of the day/night crying when she was drunk or high and vent to me about how lonely she felt in a new city. so I surprised her with a visit too. I believe I have always been there for them and I’ve been a good friend. I send all of the gifts or a cake for their birthdays, I love making other people feel special on their birthdays.
Recently I had a personal tragedy, and none of them showed up for me. None of them even called me, they only replied to my texts saying no when I asked. C also gossiped about me, which spread, leading to my mom finding out about things she didn’t need to know. It felt like she broke my trust when I confided in her. B never reaches out on her own anyway, she only responds. A and C will only call me when they’re in need of help and crying.
It felt like a slap in the face honestly and now I can’t look at any of them the same way. I stopped initiating anything and none of them reached out. A was calling me while I was dealing with my personal tragedy asking for help with her issues. So I started enforcing boundaries and saying no when I didn’t have the mental space to deal with them. I had a conversation about this with A and how I felt and basically she said she didn’t feel welcome enough because if I wanted her to be there for me I would have arranged for her stay but I didn’t. This felt like a further reason for me to put myself first because clearly even when I was in need, A expected me to think of her first. B just didn’t reach out at all and when I asked she said she didn’t have enough PTOs. C texted me because she was mad that she heard it from someone else first and said she would have come if I had called her and told her personally. At this point I got really mad because I was dealing with my own issues and she was expecting me to put her first, so I told her what I expected from her and the rest was up to her, but she’s not going to get some personalized invite before everyone else because this is not about her and to not make it about her. She also got mad and said a lot of things, ultimately saying she wouldn’t come even if she could. In the end my mom called her separately, without me knowing, and asked her to come to be with me so she came. But she didn’t speak to me the entire time. I tried to talk to her and she only talked about herself and what she was doing but she didn’t ask me anything about myself and she said she was only there because my mom asked her.
All of this really opened my eyes about which of my friends genuinely care about me and are there for me, and I have actively started thinking of myself first and drawing boundaries with these friends.
But it also makes me think if I’m being selfish? Like was I good friends with them because I expected something in return, for them to be there for me? And because they weren’t now I’m not able to move past it and see them as friends. I just feel hurt and I’m not sure how to get over this. I don’t think I will ever go back to how I was with them, because I don’t feel that kinda love for them anymore. So does that mean my love for them was fickle? Am I a terrible person? Because I’m sure in their eyes I seem like someone who has just reduced contact with them because ONCE they weren’t there for me. And now I’ve basically lost them as friends. Why can I not get over this?
TL;DR: Enforced boundaries with friends who were taking me for granted and now I feel guilty

guys, how many of yall have stories of winning against someone and they start sending messages bc they lost. heres my quick story:
i just had a kid tell me off and talk to me about my fam and my mom dying and started saying that i suck 😂, keep in mind that i left the game bc i had to leave , the score was 5-3 around 60th min, i was up 5-2 and when he scored the third i left about 2 mins after. why are people so toxic in the messages?

• i wanna hear stories any of yall have , im interested in reading them!