Hi! This is going to be a long one/rant and story because I really don’t know who to talk to about this in real life because I’m not in therapy and I’m so embarrassed to be feeling this way knowing I made all the choices to be here and people are already flying in from out of state to come to our wedding. Also I’m diagnosed adhd incase any of yall are wondering what’s wrong with me once I tell you all the decisions I made to get here. I am getting married in three months and have a son who is 15 months old. My now fiance 28m and I 27f met whenever we were thirteen years old in middle school and started a tumultuous up and down / on and off again relationship. We were together all the way up until junior year in high school and we broke up. I come from a broken home and he does not. Looking back I realize how much of me staying with him and trying to keep his attention stemmed from my abandonment issues that I must have had from my own parents. After we broke up he joined a gang in my local hometown and I was still in love with him so I decided to still be involved with him even though I was not in a relationship with him. I ended up losing my virginity to him while we were not together just because I wanted to be with him and we said we were friends with benefits but really I was just in love with him and thought by doing that maybe he would want to be with me again but he didn’t and continued to sleep with other girls and do drugs. I also started doing drugs like Xanax and smoking to fit in with him and be cool. I ended up getting a horrible tattoo because one of the other girls he was also seeing had a bunch of tattoos. I dropped out of my high school college courses and ended up going to jail for marijuana in high school and got kicked out of cheer and softball. I ended up on probation and having to be drug tested for a year. Within that year after being heart broken and realizing nothing I did would make him change into who he was before he got involved in our local gang or make him want to be with me… I ended up enrolling in college and getting accepted to a university where I would move about two hours away from our home town to live on campus and study to be a nurse. While on probation, so I couldn’t really party or anything in college which was good (even though I was never really addicted to anything and it wouldn’t be that hard for me) I wanted to save money for a car so I ended up getting a job at the hooters next to my college and was in college full time and working at hooters. My sister happened to go to that same college before I did and live in that town with her ex bf and they would give me rides to and from work back to campus. Low and behold after about two semesters of me being in college and finally feeling like I was moving on from him, he came back messaging me and telling me he missed me and wanted to be with me again. I was stupid and so excited that I agreed and asked him to come see me at college where he would stay for the weekend and we would have an amazing time. I felt so good about myself doing what I was doing and being able to show my growth. Despite all that he was still able to convince me to leave school and come back to be with him and live with him and go to the college near our hometown and work at the hooters near our hometown. I had already felt like I didn’t want to be a nurse at the time because my sister who was a nurse told me you could never leave the state as a nurse if you get your license there (which she didn’t know at the time that you could) and I knew I didn’t want to stay where I was from and wanted to eventually travel. So I decided to leave and move back with him in his bedroom at his parents house where I would work at the hooters close to our home town and never enroll in the college. He would eventually break up with me while I was at work one day even though I was living with him and since I didn’t have a car he continued to take me back in forth from work and I continued to live with him and continued to be in love with him while he committed to the fact that he didn’t want to be in a relationship but wanted to marry me one day and just wasn’t ready for anything right now and still wanted to have sex with me which I did. From working at hooters I had auditioned for the calendar and ended up being really liked by the photographer and started doing some modeling from that which was super exciting for me because I always was interested in that and the pictures we took would blow up and I started getting well known in my area for modeling even though they were just pictures and I wasn’t making any money off of it. Eventually a guy came into hooters telling me about working as an exotic dancer and how much they could make and I still needed a car really badly and was desperate to get out of my ex’s (now fiance) house. So I told him I would be waitressing and that I heard the waitresses make good money there and asked him to give me a ride there one day and so he started giving me a ride everyday. The money was so good to me and the most money I had ever seen. I ended up staying in a hotel closer to the club I worked at and sometimes he would come stay with me and I would just uber to work. Eventually I had gotten a car which I was so happy about. A couple of weeks after I got a car I ended up getting sucked into human trafficking with a friend where I would live in a house with multiple girls for 6 months and go to work at the club every day of the week except Saturday and Sundays. I wasn’t doing anything extra just dancing but the money was going to some random guy. It’s crazy I know. I was stupid and young and my family were not concerned for me at all or involved in my life. unfortunately my friend is just now leaving that situation. I got out without anything no car or nothing and had nowhere to go so back to my exes I went where I decided I was going to buy a cash car again and I worked everyday like I was used to saved money and got a car. Moved to my sisters and stayed with her for a little where i decided I didn’t want to dance anymore and I got a job as a bottle service girl and then waitressing at another waitress. I continued modeling because it made me happy and I never told anyone the truth about the deep things that were happening in my life except for my now fiance. So nobody had no idea about me dancing or the human trafficking or anything. Everyone just knew I modeled. I ended up getting an apartment with some friends and One day I got the urge to go to California randomly and at my waitressing job I was handed $800 and I took it as a sign and booked a flight the next day. Where I went by myself my first time ever on a flight with no plans at all. The day I got there I got asked to be in a commercial two days later. My roommate and her friends flew out there to get me and she ended up being able to be in the commercial with me which ended up on tbs but I had to go back home to my apartment and responsibilities and couldn’t leave my roommate stranded. Even though months later we would end up getting in an argument and I’d move out and move back with my ex (now fiance) where I would continue to work and model (for free) and went back to the club to dance and then my sister ended up going to California for a travel nursing assignment and her and her bf broke up and she asked me to move with her. I had nothing else here, my ex was still saying he didn’t want to be in a relationship, he was consistently sleeping with other girls while we lived together and expected relationship things from me. I was paying for everything for him. I paid for him while he was in school for audio engineer, his gas, lunch, school clothes, shopping, I helped him open his own studio and bought his equipment and Mac for it, even though his parents were very involved in his life. I got all his family bday gifts and Christmas gifts every year. He was honestly just using me but I was so in love and blind. He encouraged me to go to California too so I had nothing else there for me, if he had told me to stay and he wanted to be with me I would’ve. I flew out on my 21st birthday and met my sister and Vegas where we would have such a great time and my ex spent that day hanging out with a girl that tried to fight me and didn’t even tell me happy birthday, I was crying in the bathroom in Vegas until my sister shook me and told me to get it together we’re in Vegas. I was so heart broken to be leaving him but he didn’t care. I got to LA and I instantly started modeling on day one I booked a photo shoot where I met a guy that reminded me of my ex (I know) but we instantly clicked and he was 7 years older than me. We ended up talking for a little bit and pursuing something even though I wasn’t ready emotionally but he didn’t really care and I was kind of star struck a little because he was a music producer for a very famous musician and he was very persistent but that’s another story. I ended up booking a music video as a main girl for my ex’s (now fiance) favorite artist. When it came out it was crazy because I felt like the universe and God was just blessing me for leaving that situation and I knew he would see it because he was so obsessed with that artist and it shook up the whole small town I was from. After that I booked a lot of cool jobs like Sephora and worked with a lot of companies, and did some music videos for other super famous artists, and walked in fashion shows and modeled for clothing brands etc. I was working all the time as an extra to pay my bills and I was meeting cool people. I was always getting invited to celebrities parties and just having such a fun time. I decided to start getting into acting instead and started going to acting school where a lot of well known celebrities also went to and I started having meetings with very popular directors and I was being mentored by famous directors and another person that created an tv entertainment channel that I won’t say here also mentored me a lot and got me a lot of meetings with these people and would go to dinners and stuff etc with a list celebrities. I truly was living the life. And coming from where I can it was almost a dream. I had gotten in a relationship my first year there with that other guy I mentioned who ended up being super possessive of me but he treated me like a queen in the sense of paying for everything, giving me a safe space to tell my feelings, open up, the sex was amazing, he would take me on trips, took me out of the country for the first time. We ended up not working out due to lifestyle differences and just being at two different places and wanting different things. He wanted to move out of the country and have a farm and I wasn’t ready to do that as I wanted to focus on my career. (But I would die to move out of the country on a farm now ironically and he is doing just that now like he said he would haha) anyway, I ended up having my own studio apartment by myself that I loved so much and was so proud of. My sister had moved to Montana and it took a lot for me to get my apartment like staying in a house with other girls for a little to sleeping in my car and at a spa for a couple days. When I would fly home or drive home to see my family I would always see my ex, everytime. We kept a friendship and sometimes I would still help him out if needed, he was interning at a church through his school for audio engineering and recording people at his studio in our hometown. By this time I was going to New York and Miami also sometimes and doing work there. I wasn’t as stressed about bills anymore. I was seeing guys every now and then but not at all interested in a relationship, my heart was still healing from the past and both my exes but mainly my first (now fiance). I was super focused on my career and optimistic, I was used to the grind and in no way ever thinking of quitting. It just wasn’t an option because I knew I would make it wherever that would be because to me that is all I had for me and all I ever knew I wanted and the only thing that saved me. Skip to around October 2019 I had found out about a girl my ex was seeing and it crushed me. He was doing with her just like he was with me though. Just “friends with benefits” I was living in my apartment in LA still and my uncle that helped raise me was getting really sick back home and put on hospice so I decided to take a trip back to see him. I would go to restaurants in my state and near my home town and people would ask to take pictures with me, and at the little ceasars drive through someone asked if I was me and stuff it was crazy because I hadn’t been home in awhile and I felt like what I was doing was finally paying off and people were recognizing me. It was surreal. I ended up going to see my ex. I had such a fear of losing him to this other girl for some reason. I was so scared he would get her pregnant or get in a serious relationship since I was gone so far away and I would never be with him, I would end up sleeping with him again and the girl found out and drove by his house mad and cussing me out and throwing stuff at me. We ended up getting in a fight which is so embarrassing and beneath me. I ended up crying to him that I wanted to be with him and don’t know why he never wanted to be with me which at this time he honestly was not even in my playing field anymore. He told me if I wanted to be with him I had to move back to my hometown.. my heart dropped to my stomach and I knew it wasn’t what I was supposed to do but I said okay… all because this is what I had wanted all those years. I decided to stay where the next two years all I would think about everyday was I was making the wrong decision and needed to go back to my life. My hometown had nothing for me.. COVID hit a couple months after me being there and we were terrified. We ended up getting everything out of my apartment and moving into a house around the corner from his parents. I had to tell him how I liked to communicate now without yelling and stuff which I learned from the boyfriend I had in LA and that I wasn’t going to put up with that disrespect but he never listened. Eventually everything went back to normal. I ended up going back to the club again dancing because I didn’t want to go backward and model here. He never wanted me to go back to LA even for a little bit even though that’s where my career and heart was so I had no idea what to do with my life. I started waitressing as well and getting back on my adhd meds. People started pressuring us to get pregnant and we tried for a year and 6 months. The month I found out I was pregnant before I knew, I quit my job and decided I was going to move back and get my life back. Two days later I found out I was pregnant…. Finally after trying for over a year. Our relationship was toxic just like the past he always yelled, I could never talk to him about my feelings without him saying I was trying to fight, he spit in my face once, threatened me, put his hands on me, he would tell me he was going to take my baby away from me as soon as I had it. I started asking him about getting married while I was pregnant and the proposal wasn’t even that. He got mad at me for asking one day and walked in the room and handed me the ring. It didn’t fit because I was pregnant & it was $27 (not that that matters but the proposal sucked).. he drained both my bank accounts and they closed it, charged my credit card up and put me in debt, he has not let me do anything I want to do like school or anything. He is so bad with money. He has an action figure addiction and at one point was spending 3k on action figures every month and turned one of the rooms in our house into a collection room so I had to take everything out of my closet and put my sons crib in there for the first year of his life. we have good times and I feel comfortable with him. He knows everything about me but he doesn’t respect me and sometimes I feel like he is intimidated by me. The sex isn’t good at all we always just ask “do you want to have sex” he never gives oral or foreplay, I never get pleasure. He’s an amazing dad though and loves his son. We have the most sweet and beautiful little boy now who I love so much and he loves him also. He’s very attentive to his son. But I still feel unheard. I can’t talk about my feelings. If I do it doesn’t matter, it doesn’t change anything. He is so defensive and we never communicate for a solution it’s always just pointing fingers. I have started yelling again because I’m so used to it now and I hate it because I grew up like that and I finally grew out of it until I got back with him and recently started again and now he throws it in my face and knows I begged him not to do it forever but he never stopped and now I am too. I’ve asked him to take me to the movies and he hasn’t still. I just ask for more romance and stuff but it just feels like I have a roommate. I have nothing now. I had my car and we traded it in for a new car that he wanted. I always dreamed of the next car I’d get once I paid it off but he got it & it’s in his name now so I paid it off for nothing. I’m driving around his dream car. I’ve been planning our wedding since I birthed our son and everything is going good. Money is tight. He works at the church now full time and makes about 45k a year or so, my son has been waiting to start daycare for awhile so I have been home with him. I’ve tried starting jobs multiple times but he is against it unless it’s super fast money like going to the club which I am so repulsed by and absolutely hate it now. I tried going back to college but my old college won’t release my transcripts for fasfa because I owe them money. I started cosmetology school a few months ago which he was all for but two months in freaked out and him and his mom guilt tripped me that we can’t handle this right now and he was having a hard time doing the night time routine for the baby while I was at school so I had to leave and now owe that’s school for my kit unless I enroll again in 128 days. I also miss modeling so much and sometimes think I can start again but it’s been five years. My body is so different too after a baby. Everything I want is a no go. Especially moving out of our hometown. He says he wants to but I don’t think he does. We are constantly at his moms and dads and they tell us all the time we aren’t moving anywhere which is really hard for me as this place is super toxic for my soul. Anytime I get money he spends it. Anytime I save money he spends it. Even if it does go towards our bills. His action figure habit is almost nonexistent now and he has grown a lot in the past few months from that since I demanded my son have his own bedroom after his first bday and all his figures are in boxes now and told him he could turn the shed into his man cave. He says we can’t save because we have nothing to save after bills but I believe in saving anything even $5 a paycheck. It’s doable. I grew up poor so this is nothing to me but after living the lifestyle I lived in LA and going out with guys that respected me and cherished me it’s hard. I know nobody is perfect but we are about to get married and I’m scared… I have nothing though anymore. I’ve threatened to leave a couple times and he says he will take me to court and take my baby. I’m scared he might. I don’t want my son to be angry like him or not respect women how he does. In public he’s a saint. He also has a very supportive family that it’s almost toxic. They all blame me for his anger issues and say I make him that way. But he’s been punching walls since I met him in 8th grade. I know it’s not because of me. But I have nobody else and nowhere else to go. No money. No car. I’m at the bottom again where I was before. Only difference is now I have a son. And we are getting married in three months and I can’t call it off. I am older now and looking back on my life I realize he maybe truly never loved me and I was just so desperate for love. I got myself here nobody else. I accepted everything, even when my gut told me not to. ( he is not just horrible, he’s a great person just with some bad qualities like everyone but I’m tired of feeling stuck with someone that never truly wanted me and doesn’t care to grow in some ways or show me )
Please help.. what do I do?

Hey everyone
Have been struggling for a long time now and decided to come on here for some ideas and suggestions in achieving financial independence from my parents so i can leave home, in a situation where its probably heathier for everyone for me to leave or at least have the option to ASAP but my safety isn't in immediate jeopardy.
Currently 22 and working at a bottle shop for 2 years after working in trades for 4 and not getting anywhere, was on ok money for the work (around Avg 700AUD, around 50k per year with a big tax back) but although hours are now severely reduced due to a unexplained shoulder injury thats made things hard at work and that I'm still trying to figure out after a year, most of my money is going into maintaining my 10,000 dollar car and 6,000 dollar motorbike and getting food with the odd treat. i do feel very pressured into keeping all these things by my parents mainly even though i have worked for them and are 100% mine. im starting to get resentful of all the things i have worked hard for now, almost like they are trapping me at home. on a avg week i only earn 300AUD now on limited hours
I have been trying to skeem a low cost way for me to become more independent and live on my own. I feel like maybe i should get a new job that pays better if my shoulder doesn't get better whats likely, something i can upscale the hours a bit more with my injuries (im also going to get exploratory keyhole surgery in a few days whats going to slow me down, a bit worried about it affecting my goal of independence)
I have thought of maybe selling my car and getting a van to basically convert my car costs into my living costs and keeping my bike at my parents and letting the rego lapse until i can afford it again (ideally want to keep my motorbike) but a part of me feels like thats not a very long term plan
I have also thought about stashing both the vehicles for a better time and living bare bones in a sharehouse but i still worry i probably won't earn enough to keep afloat. could sell the vehicles but i feel like i won't get another point i will be able to save up for things like that
really just want to minimize my life as things are getting way to expensive
any ideas and help would be appreciated! =)

My wife and I are moving to Langley from the US at the start of next year, and I'd love to get an idea of what you think we should know before we get there!
For context if useful, I moved to the states from the UK and my wife is American, I like a lot about the states but it isn't somewhere I'd feel particularly safe or comfortable forever, especially when looking to start a family, mostly due to the way the country approaches healthcare and firearms (if you have the choice to raise kids somewhere other than the school-shooting and maternal-mortality capital of the developed world, why wouldn't you? Is our main thinking).
We initially landed on VancouveSurrey/Surrounding areas as it's close enough to easily see US friends and family, while also being a tech hub/big city, making work hopefully accessible to us. After a few trips looking around a few areas (Guildford, White Pines, Coquitlam, Langley, Abbotsford) and talking to people in the different areas we think Langley is the best fit so we're planning our move and aiming for the start of the year! (Exciting!)
All of this is to say, as the people who'd best know, what would you recommend knowing or keeping in mind for a couple aiming to move there to start a family/lay down some roots! No feedback to harsh or honest!
Thanks all!

I've worked with animals for a while but this is my first time having a large aquarium at home (55 Gallons). I've only had it for a couple of weeks and have about a dozen tetras and 4 pictus cats. A little bit ago the power went out and after that algae growth and white spot disease were my main concerns. Now that's taken care of, but suddenly my pictus have started dying. One died yesterday with no external signs of distress other than cut whiskers. All of the pictus now have limp or injured whiskers and one of them is repeatedly swimming to the surface before sinking back down. Water parameters are all good, except for a high pH around 7.6 or so (tap water here is pretty alkaline but I treat it before it goes in the tank). I asked the pet store I got the catfish from about their water parameters and they said they just used tap water too. I've placed the distressed catfish in a shallow bucket so it can reach the surface easily and also added some aquarium salts. Please let me know if you all have any ideas.

Hi just wondering going to give this a shot and try to detail cars for some extra cash on the side. Any tips and or ideas on how to execute this professionally and or smart I am open to critique. Been mainly curious on when I should detail the cars sense I live in FL where it is very hot throughout most of the day I wonder when I should look to detail the clients if I get any. Please feel free to state anything about this topic I am willing to learn and talk. (:

Hello! I'm available for free tarot readings. You can send me a message if you're interested.
I'm willing to read on most any topics and situations that may arise for you, to help you find solutions to your concerns about them. I use creative thinking along with knowledge of tarot correspondences, symbolism and metaphors to provide you with ideas and insights on your queries.
You have the option of having your reading live on call or in the form of photo + text; let me know which you prefer.
The main exceptions are queries on health/medical, legal/illegal, and supernatural topics. I won't be taking queries focused on third parties either (other people's mind, feelings, doing etc.).
You can message me with your request, and I'll respond to you as soon as I can. Please allow up to a few hours for a response. If I'm not able to take any request for any reason, I'll let you know. But otherwise, feel free to ask about anything!
This is for creative and entertainment purposes only. I won't read for anyone under 18 years of age.

Currently, I'm trying to write the plot of an original fiction story that is my passion project. The OCs have been bouncing around in my head for way longer, but only about a year and a half ago did I decide to put all my ideas together into a story. Then I got stuck, because I could not come up with a plot, took a several month break, and came back to it. I've been working on it for several more months, and I've got a pretty good idea of what I want to do with the character arcs and a few scattered ideas for plot points, but very little idea of what I want to do with the main plot, and the ideas I do have don't give me enough material, inspiration or starting place for me to truly spin a plot out of it. It's just this that I'm stuck on -when I try to come up with character backstory stuff, one-shot plot ideas or world lore, I can come up with ideas just fine. It's when I try to come up with a main plot that my brain refuses to create ideas. (I must specify that it isn't that I'm rejecting ideas, it's that I'm failing to come up with any ideas at all -I know perfectionism is a major reason why people get stuck, which is why I wanted to rule that out.)
I HAVE managed to work out how the first part of this roughly 4-5 part series would be structured -main character intro chapters and the initial quest hook, then a bunch of one-shot plots and shenanigans that also serve to build characterization and introduce important information, then a major tone shift near the end of it where I make the tone darker and get the plot fully rolling. (Not looking for criticism on the structure, just wanted to share what I have so far.) The issue is, I can't really go further ahead than that because there's a blank space where the plot is supposed to be, and I can't just start writing because the plot hook is supposed to tie to the main plot and there's a blank space where that is as well.
Now, I'm not asking for advice on what the specific plot of my story should be, because I don't want someone else's ideas for a plot, I want to figure out how to come up with my own ideas for a plot that I feel inspired and compelled to write, and I'm failing to do that. I want to emphasize that I've heard all the usual writer's block advice and tried it, as I've been stuck on this for a while and none of the usual writer's block advice worked -because I think this issue is a different, more difficult to identify problem than writer's block. I have an entire list of all the things I've tried doing, including some increasingly ridiculous ideas that I've tried as I've gotten more and more desperate. Every time one of my attempts to get ideas for a plot does turn up ideas, it's never ideas for a plot -it's always ideas for more character stuff, or world lore, or themes, or insight on the current situation, or literally anything other than the one thing I'm trying to get ideas for. I eventually managed to figure out that part of the issue is that my core concept for the story is fundamentally incomplete and that the original idea never actually specified a plot, just a premise, setting, mix of genres and a bunch of characters, but that doesn't explain why I'm continuing to fail to fill the blank. I also managed to figure out that the characters (and putting them in situations) has always been the most interesting part of this concept, but that doesn't mean my story doesn't need a main plot -the character arcs were designed to go with a main plot, as that's the kind of story I want to write.
Please help me figure out what I'm doing wrong, because by now I have to be doing something wrong or I wouldn't still be stuck. I've already tried stepping away and coming back (which helped in every area except this), I've already tried all the usual writer's block advice, I've already tried googling it, I've already tried overhauling the concept in novel ways -more than once- and I've already tried asking for help in various places -also more than once. This story just refuses to be written, and because I refuse to give up on it because it's my passion project and I actually love drawing and writing these OCs (I wanted to make that very clear because otherwise I know someone's gonna suggest that I give up), I have to find a way to move forward. Feel free to ask me questions -I'd be more than happy to answer.

We’ve been in the house for 3 years but I’ve never put much thought into this little guy since he came with the house. It has never flowered until now! (1 lonely bloom lol)

1. Any ideas on why half of the tree is looking wimpy?
2. I see online these trees are able to grow very large, so if there’s a way to correct its shape I want to do what I can! Is the Y shape going to stunt/weaken the tree?

Some details: -Unsure on age. -Water for the last 3 years has been lawn sprinklers and precipitation only. Unsure on previous owners care but the home & lawn was in bad shape when we got it. -Zone is 7a. -Soil is rocky/poor. I’ve sprinkled miracle grow/fertilizer into the mulch twice over the last couple months or so.

I’ve been pretty intrested in some diffrent types of music then my norm, and I’ve got no idea how to find unique songs. Ussualy I just make a place list of 10-15, then listen to the Spotify recomended then if I like the song go check out the artist. But I usually get stuck at about 30-40 songs. I want to grow my playlist but I’ve got now idea how, I also have no idea how to find songs that are similar to other songs. For example songs like safari song- Greta van fleet, and the ain’t now sunshine cover -Shawn James, are so vocally reliant to me and that’s what I’m looking for. I’m looking for songs that are mainly the artist vocals, I don’t know if I’m describing that right so here’s some songs for examples. The problem I have with finding songs, is that I swap back and forth between genres that I don’t know how to search for the style of song I’m looking for. If anyone wants to suggest I’m open to every genre, and the age of the song doesn’t matter to me at all. I’ve attached my Spotify account, if anyone wants to look at my playlist or share some. Through the valley- Shawn James https://open.spotify.com/track/6YowAxI2HIbhAwumOqpldE?si=WF98XHULQuauZ2GSSszXmg Slow sipper- the dip https://open.spotify.com/track/3GQbKZxmRv1mbrKBMCe8sK?si=Tcsi8sxlSruu4ltvncqDKQ This too shall last- Anderson East https://open.spotify.com/track/0CuXzMEgFzuQhLEYQHYas4?si=1pNXdErRT9qLRz6e7PksrA Ghost of Mississippi- The Steeldrivers https://open.spotify.com/track/0H7ROR8cZTsh6YUgnlqjM2?si=bdD-c-6_TiiBbxu-bPNybA Death don’t have no mercy-Rev Gary Davis https://open.spotify.com/track/2uoOm55gLvLMALwXmKrwXc?si=GXLJErMoTlaxco4-R6r-HQ&context=spotify%3Aplaylist%3A4SKh1c2p9V47W5iCj52tEM Devil always made me think twice- Chis Stapleton That don’t need a link

So I’m trying to update my library organization, adding books to collections by author, and when I tap on the majority of book “Title Details” the only info that shows up, is for TED Talks. The thing is, I don’t have any TED Talks in my library now nor have I ever in the past. This just started happening a few days ago. Before coming here for assistance, I checked their website FAQs with no luck. Restarted my iPhone (14 Pro Max running the iOS 17.5 beta; I’ve been running the beta for a long time now and have been able to organize without this “fluke”) And finally, I deleted the app entirely. Not the “remove from Home Screen” option.
Does anyone have any input, ideas, assistance or has anyone had a similar issue when trying to organize their library?
Thanks in advance.

A Simple Yet Thought-Provoking Doorway

Interviewer: Howl's Moving Castle was a huge success as well, with box office revenue reaching 19.6 billion yen. This places it second only to Spirited Away among Studio Ghibli films. The original story is by Diana Wynne Jones, and the screenplay was written by Mr. Miyazaki.
Mamoru Oshii: Howl's Moving Castle is excellent, my favorite among Ghibli's works. The story isn't entirely clear, the logic doesn't always hold up – these aspects haven't changed much from Miyazaki's past films. But, at this point, there's nothing more to say about those points. So, what do I appreciate about this film? In a word, it's the mechanism of that doorway. Miyazaki's changing mindset as he gets older is clearly expressed through that door's workings.
Interviewer: The door of Howl's castle leads to different worlds, and its mechanism is divided into four parts.
Mamoru Oshii: That truly impressed me. Every time the mechanism shifts, the door opens to a different world. The black passage leads to the battlefield, flames are raging, Howl transforms into a monstrous bird and flies off, then returns completely exhausted. Seeing Howl like that, Calcifer says, "He might not come back." What kind of meaning do you think that holds?
Interviewer: Does it represent Mr. Miyazaki's heart being divided into four parts?
Mamoru Oshii: It's not about the number. Women might not understand easily, but men get it right away. Especially older men, they understand at a glance. Because they are also constantly turning that doorway unconsciously. In other words, whether consciously or unconsciously, they always play multiple roles. An older man working at a company switches modes when he comes home; when playing with a young woman somewhere else, he switches again; when interacting with his son and daughter, he switches yet another time. Simply put, humans are creatures that live separately in different worlds. There may also be a dark side that leads one to become a monster. People definitely possess a side that turns into a monster and runs rampant on the battlefield, and are destined to coexist with this darkness.
I've never seen a film that depicts the multiplicity of an older man's inner world in such a persuasive way. I love it. The doorway mechanism turns, and the world changes instantly. It's fantastic.
Interviewer: That's high praise indeed.
Mamoru Oshii: It is. But it's dangerous, you know? Sometimes you slip up and reveal a side you shouldn't in front of your wife and children. Wives are probably aware of this to a certain extent, but they don't bring it up. If you ask me, that's what living with a man is all about. You might not notice it when you're dating, but after getting married and having children, women realize that older men use different faces in different situations.
Being able to create this kind of expression means that Miyazaki himself must have struggled with switching between different faces. By now, he's probably become quite adept at it. I'm the same way. After all, film directors have to be geniuses at switching gears – the face shown to staff, the face shown to producers, the face when alone, the face shown to family – you really have to separate them all.
Interviewer: That sounds truly exhausting.
Mamoru Oshii: It is, it is. A person like Miyazaki must have a remarkable monster dwelling within him, right? For Howl, that represents the moment when he throws aside all humanity and becomes a monster. Although it's incredibly difficult, even requiring him to fight till he's covered in blood, he can't escape it. Why? Because he couldn't survive without that side of himself.
He must have referenced other archetypes as well, but no one else could have expressed it so brilliantly. Miyazaki truly is one of a kind. That doorway in the film is so good that it overshadows everything that comes after. The war ending abruptly, for instance.
Interviewer: In the first place, it's unclear why the war even started. To be honest, there are too many things that don't make sense. Sophie's original goal was to break the Witch's curse, but somewhere along the way, this goal disappears, and she ends up living with the Witch.
Mamoru Oshii: That's why it's pointless to try to apply logic. This is Miyazaki's world of imagination, where the laws of cause and effect don't apply. This world itself is Miyazaki's fantasy.
Interviewer: But there is a source material.
Mamoru Oshii: Half of it has probably vanished without a trace, wouldn't you say? All that's left is the basic setting. The castle's design is amazing, it even has a torpedo launcher, doesn't it? It makes you wonder what that torpedo launcher is for and what it's supposed to fire at. It feels like Miyazaki just crammed in everything he likes.

Miyazaki and My "View of Family"

Interviewer: I love the design, though.
Mamoru Oshii: It can accommodate anything, and this time he put "family" in it.
Producer Toshio Suzuki said something interesting. He was also the producer for my film, Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence. He said: "It's fascinating how both Miyazaki and you are making the same kind of film. In short, the theme is "home". Both are stories about family. Miyazaki's film expresses the idea that whether it's an old witch or an orphan, it's fine to welcome anyone into the family, because we're all family. And in your film, whether it's a dog or a doll, it doesn't matter if they're not human. It's a very interesting approach to considering a new kind of family."
Interviewer: Mr. Suzuki is insightful.
Mamoru Oshii: He's the kind of person who observes from such unique angles. That's his strength, thinking from perspectives no one else would consider.
Of course, I wasn't conscious of it either. I had no intention of making a story about family. The "unconscious genius" Miyazaki must have been the same. But when Suzuki pointed it out, I felt "that's exactly right". When people establish a sense of shared existence, the most basic form of it is family. Of course, there are male-female relationships within it, but when viewed from the perspective of social relationships, there's nothing other than family. Even blood ties aren't necessarily essential within it. Originally, the starting point of family is strangers, no blood relation needed. A married couple is essentially a pair of complete strangers with no initial blood ties. They start from a marital relationship and then begin to build kinship ties. It's not like in Shuji Terayama's Throw Away Your Books, Rally in the Streets where people separate first and then spend time exploring family forms in various ways. That's probably how it is.
Thinking about it this way, even the house they live in in Howl's Moving Castle walks on two legs, doesn't it? What does that mean? It means that it's no longer even connected to the concept of "settling down", which represents the idea of family. The characteristics of a house being rooted in the land are irrelevant. On the other hand, in Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence, it doesn't matter whether you're human or not, but you need to be with others to live as a human being.
Looking at both films from the perspective of family makes many things easier to understand, that's for sure. If you don't think about it this way, the content of Howl's Moving Castle will become more and more perplexing as you watch it.

Hayao Miyazaki is David Lynch?

Interviewer: Speaking of family, Sophie's family is nowhere to be found. It's as if she's just a beloved and beautiful younger sister that everyone adores.
Mamoru Oshii: After watching Howl's Moving Castle, no one can recall the details of the story clearly. I watched it twice, which is rare for me, but I still can't remember the story. The protagonist Howl appears suddenly, and Sophie is introduced already sewing hats, but why is it a hat shop?
Interviewer: It's a hat shop in the original story.
Mamoru Oshii: But it must be because Miyazaki wanted to draw scenes of hat making, right? Miyazaki loves artisans, loves depicting scenes of crafting things. Up until now, he's always had this tendency - even if it sacrifices consistency to some extent, he'll find a way to realize the scenes and fantasies he envisions. But with Howl's Moving Castle, he completely let go and took a straight path to fantasy. Howl's Moving Castle is exactly that kind of film. Whether or not there's source material is irrelevant. The story of Master Howl is a prime example.
Interviewer: Voiced by Akihiro Miwa, the character of the Witch of the Waste, right?
Mamoru Oshii: Scenes like the shooting stars are undeniably beautiful, but do they have anything to do with the story? Miyazaki's impression of magic must be these beautiful visuals, so he simply wanted to create them.
Interviewer: It's not just that, the character of the Master is completely incomprehensible.
Mamoru Oshii: I've said this so many times, you can't seek consistency in Miyazaki's films because they're all fantasies. It's best to view them through the lens of David Lynch's Twin Peaks.
Interviewer: Lynch's films don't prioritize consistency either. Nobody expects a logically sound story from his work.
Mamoru Oshii: Then why have such expectations for Miyazaki's films? They're both transforming their own fantasies into films, whether it's Lynch or Miyazaki.
Interviewer: "Hayao Miyazaki is David Lynch", that's quite a bold statement.
Mamoru Oshii: There's one crucial difference between Lynch and Miyazaki: Lynch sees humans as frightening creatures. Lynch's theme is singular – the terror of humanity. As a Lynch fan, I've finally reached this conclusion recently. Humans are terrifying beings; they create terrifying events. This is the theme of Lynch's works. The very existence of humans is eerie, so his works are unconcerned with good and evil, angels and demons. That's why Lynch's films are unique.
So, what about Miyazaki? Miyazaki genuinely wants to view humans as benevolent creatures and the world as something beautiful. This fundamentally differs from Lynch, who is obsessed with a world of horror. However, they share the commonality of realizing their fantasies through film. Another difference is that Lynch consciously depicts horror, while Miyazaki does so unconsciously.
Interviewer: In the latter half of the film, Sophie suddenly shifts between being young, middle-aged, and elderly. Is there any meaning behind this?
Mamoru Oshii: No, it's just to make her appearance fit the scene. They simply decided, "It's better for her to be young here", and that's about it. There's probably no deeper reason. So even if you try to overanalyze it, you won't find anything.
Interviewer: It's fine if you don't fully understand Lynch's films, but you still want to try and understand Miyazaki's.
Mamoru Oshii: Because at first glance, they appear to be orthodox narrative films.
No matter how many bursts of fantasy there are, he still wants to reach a conclusion and summarize the meaning in the end, right? In that sense, he's still clearly more timid than Lynch.
Interviewer: But you said that Howl's Moving Castle is your favorite work, didn't you?
Mamoru Oshii: Yes. Even though it doesn't fully let go in the end, it's quite transparent before reaching the conclusion. It doesn't force itself into a narrative structure, so in that sense, I really appreciate it. The doorway mechanism and the scene where the Witch of the Waste makes shooting stars fall from the sky are both incredibly beautiful and impressive. Although the depiction of the royal palace feels somewhat generic, the scene where they're panting and climbing the palace stairs is quite interesting. There are truly many excellent scenes.

Howl is Miyazaki Himself

Interviewer: In that stair-climbing scene, there's a dog named Heen. Don't you think he resembles you a bit?
Mamoru Oshii: That dog... (laughs) The staff kept telling me about him when the film was released, and I could definitely sense some malice directed at me. Because Heen is a useless dog, isn't he? His personality seems quite bad as well.
Interviewer: So he's like you. When I saw it, I couldn't help but think, "It's Oshii!"
Mamoru Oshii: Because I've also poked fun at them many times in my own works. I named the old man who runs Shanghai Tei in Patlabor "Hayao Saki". Mr. Takahata appears as "Inspector Takahata", although he's a villain (laughs). Needless to say, Toshio Suzuki has made multiple appearances as well.
But if that dog is me, then Howl must be Miyazaki. He projected himself onto the protagonist in Porco Rosso, didn't he?
Interviewer: Wait a minute, that handsome Howl? Really?
Mamoru Oshii: Absolutely. The works where Miyazaki projected himself onto the protagonist are Porco Rosso, Howl's Moving Castle, and The Wind Rises. What aspects of Howl resemble Miyazaki? This statement will surely shock many fans.
Mamoru Oshii: He wants to be that kind of man. A wizard, the head of a household - there's no doubt that Howl is his projection.
Interviewer: But Howl said, "I can't live without being beautiful."
Mamoru Oshii: That's right, he transformed from a pig and uttered those words. Voiced by Takuya Kimura, no less. In reality, Miyazaki loves to be cool, but he understands that it doesn't suit him, so he intentionally makes himself appear plain. I forget when it was, but he even imitated Ryotaro Shiba's style by wearing a black coat. Miyazaki respects Ryotaro Shiba a lot, although I dislike him.
What strikes me as the biggest similarity between Howl and Miyazaki is the scene where Howl returns to the castle as a monster and sluggishly climbs to the second floor.
That scene embodies Miyazaki's true feelings - even if he's making a big fuss outside, he still has to crawl back to his room. When Sophie scolds him saying, "You did it again! It can't be helped", didn't you feel like he must have been scolded by his wife this way too? He finally returns, but as a monster. From this perspective, he's really quite transparent (laughs).
As long as you understand Miyazaki, you can pick up on these amusing nuances. But even if you don't know him personally, the film is full of interesting scenes and beautiful visuals. However, there's really nothing to say about the plot. So, they should just tell the world that, but instead, people love to praise "how great the stories are" in Miyazaki's films.

Hi there, just a quick background about myself without getting too long… I’m 24(M) in southeast Texas. Graduated high school in 2018. For the last 6 years, I’ve been chasing the music dream. Although my band and I have been rising slowly, at this age I’m wanting to get setup for one of my other dream careers. I’ve been working as a mechanic to actually support myself while I play music. Wondering if anybody could toss me some advice/info that I haven’t thought of.
1- Law Enforcement: Been an interest of mine for about 3 years now. I’ve been on several ride alongs and loved it. Basically I’d just have to do 6 months at a police academy, and get hired on at a PD. Around here, I’d be starting at around $67-70k/year and cap off at MAYBE 100k (which is a LONG time). But with those awesome government benefits. (I do hope to get unbiased views on this. All I can say is I want to be in law enforcement for the right reasons…)
2- Maritime Deck Officer: Been a second dream of mine since I was a freshman in high school. This would require about 5 years total of school (wouldn’t be until I’m 29 at the latest that I can start working). I’d get a bachelors degree from Texas A&M (which means student loans) and the necessary license to be a deck officer in the merchant marine. I have a serious passion for being on the water and operating giant vehicles. I’d be starting off at around 120k/year, and the sky is the limit for capping off. Some jobs in maritime I could be at 300-400k/year. But in the grand scheme of things, I’d maintain between 120k-240k/year and be part of a union. Can be at sea 3-4 months at a time, but only work half the year (typically a 75/75 schedule… I value time off of work so this is awesome). I do plan to have kids/family so while I love the idea of that schedule, it is also a concern of mine. Another plus is if I want to leave being a mariner, I’ll have that degree to fall back on. Texas Game Wardens require a bachelors degree, so I would have that! I am a VERY avid outdoorsman/fisherman/hunter and I know I would excel at being a game warden as a fall back.
Really the biggest decision is… Start a career in the next 6 months-year and start making good money soon… OR put in the 4-5 years of school, live at home until I’m 29, and come out with a degree/license to be in an industry with high job security and a 6 figure starting salary. I’d like to have kids by my early 30s, but not while I’m living at home! Going the maritime route would be pushing that goal… Plus, I truly do hate the idea of still living at home into my late 20’s/early 30’s. I’m not a bum by any means, I just had different priorities right out of high school. I don’t have any regrets chasing my main dream AT ALL, but I do kind of wish I would have started on something else a bit earlier.
Sorry for all the reading, but I truly do appreciate any advice someone can give me. I will be getting started on one or the other this fall.

Hello! This is a throwaway account because my boyfriend follows on my main, and I’m on mobile, apologies for the format.
My boyfriend and I have been together 9 months. He is the only one of the two of us working right now. I currently cannot get a job because I am disabled and trying to sort out some health stuff before I start working again. He isn’t very good with money, often times opting to order food instead of making it, and buying things that he doesn’t really need because they’re on sale or “not that much” which adds up pretty fast. We’re lucky to not have to pay rent right now, but I’m scared for what the future might hold if we don’t change some things early on. He was taught about money and such, but it never really absorbed, and he’s convinced that saving money doesn’t really do anything good because of inflation. He isn’t investing or anything if that is a concern that you guys might have.
I want to bring up the idea of a budget that will work things out for the both of us. So that we can get the things we need before the things that we want. I just don’t want to come off as pushy or as if I’m trying to take his money away from him. I just want the life that we’re building to be more stable as it goes into the future. Any advice is appreciated on how to go about this conversation!
TLDR: My boyfriend isn’t great with money, but he’s the only one out of the two of us who can currently work, how can I convince him to build and stick to a budget with me?

Hello! One of the bajillion alts that I'm leveling is a Fire Forcewave Commando, using Mutant Bludgeon / Shambler's Heart / Bane'Gargoth's Shard for a low-cooldown awesome-looking Forcewave. I'm sure that 2h spamwave is better, but I want to play this guy.
Anyway, I'm currently getting towards the end of the main campaign, and was looking for some suggestions on what to do for skills / devotions. Everything is a bit all over the place at the moment, I truly have no idea what I was thinking early on with this. I'm thinking that the best bet is probably just to entirely focus on maxing the Forcewave nodes and not worry about having Fire Strike for attacking at the moment, especially since my weapon is pretty weak until I get through to Ultimate and can get higher level Bludgeons.
The biggest thing I'm not really sure what to do with is Devotions. I rushed to Dryad for some healing, but now that I've got Juggernaut I don't think that'll be nearly as useful, plus in Elite / Ultimate I'm going to try to farm a Shambler's Heart of the Grove to help with that, so I'm thinking it may be best to switch over to some offensive fire devotions?
Any thoughts / suggestions? Does that amended gameplan seem better? Is there something for leveling this kind of character that I'm absolutely just not seeing?
Edit: I copied the link and everything but forgot to post it. - https://www.grimtools.com/calc/lV781paZ

Hello there! I'm looking for people who want to write in the Stranger Things fandom who are 18+ as I am 18+ myself. I would also like to mention that all characters must be 18+ as well. My writing style fluctuates depending on the scene and what I am given by my partner but I like to keep a minimum of 350 words with all of my posts. Most of my posts really averaging to about 500-600 words. I also prefer to write in the third person, past tense and I prefer to write on discord. I also enjoy making mood boards, character boards, playlists, and love to gush about the roleplay!
As for plot, I'm really open for anything at the moment! We can do something in an AU, follow the aftermath of Season 4(again, characters must be at least 18), I even have a plot idea myself! Although, I would like to state that I don't want us to stray too far away from the series canon and by that I mainly mean the setting. Genres for the plot should kind of be similar to the genres present in the show: Action, Drama, Romance, Angst, Comfort, etc.
Currently, I'm looking to write against an Eleven. She is actually my favorite character from all media! I love her story so incredibly much, finding her own identity, trying to learn who she is as a person with her powers and childhood, finding people who care about her and give her a normal life, trying to shine the darkness away like, I can go on and on and on!
I want to keep this short and sweet so if you are interested or if you have any questions, feel free to dm me! Hope you have an awesome day!

Hello there! I'm looking for people who want to write in the Stranger Things fandom who are 18+ as I am 18+ myself. I would also like to mention that all characters must be 18+ as well. My writing style fluctuates depending on the scene and what I am given by my partner but I like to keep a minimum of 350 words with all of my posts. Most of my posts really averaging to about 500-600 words. I also prefer to write in the third person, past tense and I prefer to write on discord. I also enjoy making mood boards, character boards, playlists, and love to gush about the roleplay!
As for plot, I'm really open for anything at the moment! We can do something in an AU, follow the aftermath of Season 4(again, characters must be at least 18), I even have a plot idea myself! Although, I would like to state that I don't want us to stray too far away from the series canon and by that I mainly mean the setting. Genres for the plot should kind of be similar to the genres present in the show: Action, Drama, Romance, Angst, Comfort, etc.
Currently, I'm looking to write against an Eleven. She is actually my favorite character from all media! I love her story so incredibly much, finding her own identity, trying to learn who she is as a person with her powers and childhood, finding people who care about her and give her a normal life, trying to shine the darkness away like, I can go on and on and on!
I want to keep this short and sweet so if you are interested or if you have any questions, feel free to dm me! Hope you have an awesome day!

I'm curious what you all think about this dilemma I'm having.
Basically, the main character in my feature film starts as non-conformist, which is making his life become more difficult to the point where his ability to survive is in question.
The first act break of the screenplay is him finally conforming in order to make he and his family's lives easier. Initially, for the first half of the second act, this move works out to his benefit and he enjoys the new life. However, it all comes crashing down and he begins to lose the life he cared for before. He then spends the rest of the film trying to undo what he's done to his life.
By the end, he is mostly able to restore his old life after an intense climax, and the news of his tribulations prompt the rest of society to begin a shift.
I'm hung up about this ending as it doesn't really mean my main character changes at all. His beliefs are basically confirmed by the events of the story and he essentially goes back to his old life, but in the setting of a new world, now coming back closer to his values. Yes, his situation has now improved, but I don't really think he's changed much as a character from the beginning of the first act to the final image. He went from being a non-conformist to being a non-conformist.
Is this "full-circle" character arc a faux pas? Or is it fine, as long as it is done well? I know there are some films that have static main characters, but I cannot think of any films that have a full-circle arc.
I've toyed with the idea of making the screenplay a tragedy. He wants to return to his old life, but is unable and gets swallowed up by the new world he conformed to. I'm just not sure if that's the way I want to go. Particularly because there is another film involving a similar subject matter that ends in a similar way.
I would love to know what you all think and if you've ever come across a similar story issue. Thank you!

Challenge

I wanna see some DE ideas for any character that doesn't yet have a DE or is unable to get one as they have died or for some other reason. I decided to make two DEs, one for Nanami [which I'll post later] and one Angel [which is the DE below].

Domain Expansion: Exorcism Of Sin

When this DE is opened, the user and anyone unlucky enough to be in the vicinity of the user will be brought into an expanse that looks like you are walking on top of clouds. The user will be brought into the DE floating in front of golden gates, with two golden apparitions that look identical to the user only with the added detail that they are made of pure golden holy light. The user is then able to blow a horn, similar to the one of Jacob's Ladder, while the two apparitions do the same. This has a similar effect to the maximum technique, Jacob's Ladder, just at a higher potency and with the added benefits of temporarily wiping away the opponents CE, CT, and burning them. If a Cursed Spirit is inhabiting a mortal's body, when the horns are blown the Cursed Spirit will be forced to leave the body or else face disintegration. This does harm the body of the mortal, but at a much smaller scale. The purification process of this leaves opponents immobilized and unable to process things on a complex scale, this can vary from math to simple tactics. The “cherubic” like figures that come from Jacob's Ladder will also reside in this DE and will attack any opponents, regardless of if the horn is rung.

I was just thinking today about how I was looking forward to middle school as a kid. Elementary school was so awfully boring, but I also didn't really have any real friends so that didn't help. Still though, the thing is that I spent a lot of time by myself and that involved watching a lot of TV. And I'm not from the US, I live in Europe, but the TV shows were all from the US. And they kinda gave me a really cool fantasy of what school was gonna be like after elementary school. And yeah I'm sure anyone reading this is gonna think that, well, of course it's not actually like on TV, TV is fiction. But trust me, this is gonna be way more disappointing than you think. But I mean, at least I wasn't bullied, most people just sorta left me alone instead, so I don't wanna act as if school must definitely be better in other places. It's just that, it was so boring.
Hmm where do I begin. Two things constantly said in these TV shows that left me confused, kids often talked about classes they take, consider taking and don't take. And kids often talked about "this person from my x class". This gave me the idea that, unlike in elementary school, I'd get to at least somewhat choose what classes I might wanna take. Not at all how it worked, at least not at the schools that were options for me at the time I went to middle school in the early 2000s, as far as I can tell. I say as far as I can tell cause it was never explained to me either, it was explained to my parents, so that they could maybe talk to me and figure what to do with me. Anyway, you either went to trade school, which was seen as a huge embarrassment to your parents cause you are an idiot that's probably not gonna do college, or for 7th and 8th grade you decide on one of two options; latin or modern languages. Both of those come with a certain set of classes, you can't not take any of them and you can't take any that don't come with it. My parents didn't put much thought in it, they were just told that since I did so well in elementary school I should go for latin, as that's what smart kids do. It doesn't come with many interesting classes to me, but to be honest neither did the other option. I would have much rather gone to trade school, which has a technical studies option too that would come in handy for college, but many people just didn't like having to say that their kid goes to the trade school. In fact, I had a few people in my group failing on purpose cause they told their parents they wanna go to trade school but were just not allowed, so they protested by failing. Anyway, the other thing that had me confused about that, all classes are taken with the same group. You're in a group of about 20 people, they all have the same classes cause you don't get to pick and choose, why not have them do every class together. I'm not sure if that's supposed to get the group to know each other better or something, but really the result is just that you really don't get to know so many people. If you don't like any in this group so much, well tough luck, everybody only hangs out with people of their own group. You weren't even allowed to sit with people from another group for lunch, they assigned you a seat at a table for your group. And you know, many of them are kinda the same. This school was just for those two options I mentioned anyway, which are for preparing kids to continue to college in the future, anybody wanting to do any trade or anything technical would be at a different school that focuses on those. Oh and also, not a single girl in our group, I didn't really care at the time but thinking back about it it does seem kinda weird to have years of middle school where all classes were boys only. Alright on to the next topic to pick. Hmm how about the whole thing with the activities at school they always have on TV. You know, clubs, sports, arts, dances, science fairs, even elections for something? Yeah I did totally wonder what my future school was gonna have. Which was nothing, in fact I went to three different schools from 7th to 12th grade and they all had nothing. It's just not a thing here I guess? There is not a single thing to do other than go to your set of classes that day and go back home. No special events of any kind either, just an occasional educational school trip. But certainly nothing that would make you meet any people with similar interests, or anything social at all really. Here's sorta how it works instead. You wanna do any of this, you sign up for it somewhere else and go there after school. Like my city did have a music school and a drawing school for example, so if you wanna go to a 2nd school on some days after going to your 1st school that day then you're free to do that. Of course it'll be with completely different people that you probably don't ever see anywhere else. I was in an unrelated sports team for example, we played a game on saturdays that is only attended by parents and practiced 2 hours after school one day in the week. And I never saw anyone on the team ever outside of those couple of hours per week. That's also one kinda problem with that isn't it, the kids learning music or drawing at those specific schools after their main schools probably got to show off the things they learned at times, but only fellow kids at those specific schools and their parents would ever know about it. They never get to show off the stuff they learned to kids at their main schools.
Here's a little short one for in between that is kinda odd, personal lockers. Nobody ever got their own locker, not at any of the three schools I went to. We just stuff all our crap in our backpack and bring it home. Then in the morning figure out what we need that day, and carry it all back to school in our backpack. In elementary school we had a desk at school with a little space for books, but from middle school you're not always in the same classroom so you get no desk with storage. Every classroom you go to you bring your heavy backpack with everything for that day in it.
This is getting really long already so here's my last one, the whole social groups and cliques thing full of stereotypes. Well, just having anything like that at all really. Because of the stuff I wrote earlier, but also some of the rules. Like I already said, you take every class with your group and sit at an assigned place with your group for lunch, you can't go find someone who likes the same stuff as you from outside your group. Except during one of the three breaks, two of those are 10 minutes and one is 30 minutes. During those, you can walk around outside and go talk to anyone you want. Of course they are all total strangers to you though as you have never seen them do anything anywhere, since there are no activities at school other than your classes. But here are some of the rules we had. No electronic devices, so you can't listen to or show anyone any music or play any videogames with anyone. I mean no phones either but almost all of those couldn't really do anything other than call and text at the time anyway. No 'distracting' hair, whether that is a weird style or having any part of it any color that does not appear natural in humans. No 'distracting' clothing either, but at least no uniforms. No tattoos or piercings of any kind, except earrings but one time an acceptable looking punk came in with a safety pin earring he did at home and that did not count as an allowed earring. Actually come to think of it, the punks were the only group. Everybody else just looked the same as everybody else. And these punks were just 4 people. We knew they were punks cause of their outfit, they pushed the boundaries of distracting. And sometimes too far, like with the safety pin. But they usually wore a flat cap, a denim jacket with a few punk patches and leather boots. Probably the coolest looking people at the school, mostly because I couldn't tell you what anyone else looked like now, I totally forgot everything except their face. Though I was also a bit of an exception. I was the guy with long hair. Not that anybody knew anything about me cause I didn't talk, but they did know me as the one guy in school with long hair. They couldn't really ban that as I don't think they could ban things for only one gender. But yeah, you only have the opportunity to talk to people not in your group during the short breaks, but how would you decide who to go talk to? You never talked to any of these kids, all you got is how they look, and they're barely allowed to change their look from anything default.
Alright I'm gonna end it here. I guess the conclusion is that if you make school as absolutely boring as possible then there is not gonna be as much trouble, I think that might have been the goal at least? Just come in, get your education that day, go home, no drama. Is that better? I wouldn't know, I haven't been to other schools of course. But I sure couldn't help but wish it had a little more going on like they did on TV.

I'm at a complete loss at where to go from here, I have plenty of ideas, but to me they do not work.
Background- I'm 23F, graduated highschool in 2019 and right after that I had my son, so have been out of school since.
I had a horrible GPA when I graduated,, and I'm pretty sure I barely made it through my SATS. Yet, I gaduated with 'college credits'? (No clue what that really means)....
I have been in the workforce since 17 so going on a couple years. Worked mainly fast food, waitresses for a bit, office jobs like B2B representative. Worked for an Event planner for a while too, loooveed that soo freaking much. The irony is when I was a kid, all I wanted to be was the woman in 27 dresses. I wanted to be an Event planner so bad for weddings and other settings.
So up to today. Well, not even five days ago suddenly I decided I want to attend college. Submitted FAFSA stuff already, that's done.
Well, here comes the career part. I have two kids and a fiance that I'm supporting.
I know (whatever career I finish out with) I want to be making annually 70k-100k (is that even realistic??!)
I know Im okay with attending school up to four years, maybe a little more?
Great, okay.... I have somewhat of an idea moving forward.
Except, I have absolutely no clue what Career major that I want going from there, or really what even to expect from an online college setting. Are there specific things I should be looking for?
I have looked and researched tons of jobs and completed plenty of those career aptitude tests. Nothing that I'm finding is clicking for me. I know I'm good at communications, hospitality, and office areas. Nothing math related, or fiance, but more administrative assistant areas?
I'm extremely empathetic and caring as a person, I feel that I'd do probably alright in a child development role?
I know what I enjoy hobby wise; writing my novels I'm addicted to writing, I enjoy sitting behind my computer and typing and zoning out. My only other major enjoyment hobby is baking. I stopped practicing after school, and I used to attend these competitions in highschool, called FCCLA. Cake decorating contest type thing and so much more, but I never went anywhere with it. I wanted to open my own bakery one day, but then I looked into running a business and it turned me off completely.
Basically I just don't know where to go from here to figure out what I want to do. If anyone has any advice or major ideas that would help so much.