I am sick and tired of not progressing. I turned 25 last week. For the last 2-3 years I’ve been trying (very inconsistently) to achieve financial freedom.
I want to be able to quit my day job, that’d mean having an income of around 1300€/month on my own. (Right now my extra income is of around 200€/month)
Most of the time I loose time scrolling, just to finish the day with a 100 tasks sitting on my mind (and notebooks) that I know could help me progress or develop my health.
The truth is that I currently suck big time at being responsible for myself. I am EXHAUSTED.
However every day I show up at work, and at every job I’ve had I’ve been really good at.
I feel like I need: a) a super clear to do / path b) something to own it to to be responsible and do the work.
I am also so good at helping people plan, organize, brainstorm and at seeing the bigger picture for a project. So here again comes my question.
Can we help each other progress?
• I am looking for someone to partner with, & act as personal managers for each other.
Something like: • Weekly call to do our schedules and assess progress. • Helping each other creating clear to do lists. • Keeping each other on top of what’s real, what’s happening, and how much we can do the work each week.
Not only with business development but overall goals. I have interest in learning Swedish & Breathing theory, and just recently started going to the gym (this month I’ve slip so much).
If you think we can help each other out, comment here to connect :) also general advice on how to start or whatever you want to say here is welcomed. This is my first time posting ahhh.
For some context: I’m a certified/trauma informed breathwork coach and tarot reader. I have experience instructing and guiding since almost 6 years now, but in the outdoor industry. Anywho. I decided to focus on this because it changed my life: I haven’t had asthma in 3 years, cured my acne, can now run without dying, sleep great, lost weight, experience presence more often than not, and got out of sleeping 18h / day to avoid being here. I have now guided more than 200 people, I practice every day, people around me are interested in what I do, I teach at a very nice and unique studio in the city.
I work 35h a week as a barista, half of my pay goes to renting a room in Barcelona. I don’t want to end the year this way. I’m Venezuelan, I want to have the freedom to help my parents & friends progress. Can we help each other progress?

I grew up in a small town in Florida. I remember close to nothing about my childhood and honestly, I feel like my brain started producing memories near the 10th grade (I'm 19 and graduated now). I've been in a handful of relationships (2 long distance, 1 not) and each time I feel like I've pressured myself into saying "I love you" in pursuit of chasing some Disney channel love story fantasy. I don't really know what it means to truly love someone if I'm being honest. We usually say those words to our parents to show endearment, but I don't, or at least haven't for as long as I can remember. I don't know what it means to love someone. My family is very small (Mother, Grandmother, Sister) All of my other family members either passed or just really aren't in the picture. My grandmother isn't all there mentally anymore and my sister lives across the country and she's high 98% of the time. So its really just me and my mother here. My mother isn't a person you talk to about things. The typical responses are "suck it up" "be a man" "boo hoo" or any other way to belittle what I feel or what I say. She's been like that since I was a kid. So I don't really have any connections or people to talk to since I've graduated last year. I've been stuck in this house for upwards of 5 months now, I've been filling out job applications like crazy and luckily I have a job orientation later this week. At my previous job, I met this girl. Long story short, she ended up confessing to me on her way out after her shift. When I was younger, I grew up "ugly" it wasn't until 11-12 grade when I got my growth spurt and became who I am now and it took until the end of my senior year to learn how to dress, so at school I wasn't getting any play, only after highschool was I talking to women. That was the first time a woman had confessed to me like that. I knew I was able to be found attractive and to be liked, but never loved. Eventually down the line she had said she loved me, and of course I said it back, but I didn't mean it. After she had said that, the only thing I could think is "why me?" "Why some kid from nowhere Florida". I don't even have a license, my mother was driving me to work, and this woman says she loves me? Really? I had became absorbed in thoughts of not being enough, of not being worth it. Love is one of the strongest words we hold as people, and she used it on me. Doesn't loving someone mean they're at the center of your world? They're the reason you get up every day? The reason you go to work, or take a shower, or get dressed? I can't comprehend that. I shouldn't have that amount of power over a person. I shouldn't mean that much to a person. It was all I could think. I'd ask her why she loves me and she'd say "I don't know, I just feel it" and sometimes I'd say "I don't know why you love me so much" and she'd say "You dont need to know" which in retrospect, maybe she actually did love me, but why? Eventually I started telling myself that she was just lying to me for some external reason, and combined with the shitty dating world we live in-in 2024 it was very easy to convince myself of that. Eventually I ended things. Explaining to her that I don't know what it means to love someone and that I have to work on myself. I just. I don't know. I'm tired.

Hi, I'm Greg 28, I'm here to tell you that I graduated from High School (or well the version of that in my country, Spain) I stopped studying after what in the US is middle school I believe.
Had to go trough a fair bit as a child and teen, mental and physical abuse from my elder narcissistic dad who only had me and used me as an emotional outlet in all sort of fucked ways, somehow I ended up trauma bonded and looking after him, I should have left my house years ago, everybody told me, but I never listsened.
To this you can add an alcoholic depressive mother who left the picture when I was 5, isolation, I always felt like an outsider, total lack of healthy emotional connection growing up and social anxiety during my teens because of a fair bit of bullying reason why I left my studies...
Basically a bit too much for a kid, I did what I could but everything seamed to be in flames and hurt. In my twenties I went on and off trough a series of dead end jobs, struggling with a lot of repressed emotional wounds, not really knowing what was I doing, with a shitty ass self esteem and letting life push me around without opposing.
At some point I met a girl tho, I fell in love BAD, she helped me a bunch, I grew emotionally a lot, she showed me what love was supposed to look like, academically she encouraged me to restart studying, she empowered me to try when I thought I was but a fuck up, and so I did.
Long story short I graduated a few days ago.
Thing is she left me in february and I fell deep and hard into a bad bad pit. I realized I had been neglecting my own emotional wounds for too long, while in the relathionship I thought I was doing better but I mostly was just feeling better wich is not quite the same. I'm seeing a therapist and she thinks I might have chronic depression, basically a persistent and mild form of depression as well as anxiety issues.
Honeslty it adds up quite a fair bit with me.
Sadly I also neglected her feelings, I had a big problem being verbally loving, all other forms of showing love (acts, touch, gifts, time, effort etc) YES as much as I could but verbally? God, I was awful... I'm not forgiving my self for this one soon.
Anyways, what I'm trynna say is that as bittersweet as it may be, and it sure is without her around , I finished and I did it despite being in what was posibly the darkest period of time of my life. I'm happy I didn't do anything crazy to my self, it sure was close. Wish I could have felt anything when I finally did it tho, I always thought it was going to be one of those core happy memories but instead I felt nothing.
I've got some plans now, I might pursue what in the US is an associate's degree in programming, I'm going to try an turn my life around for good. I'm also in a quest for emotional growth and trying to learn from my mistakes, I REALLY want to stop the generational trauma that goes down my family.
I think that is all, thanks a lot to those who read this and to anyone answering me :)

The Context:

/Barcelona is the main sub for the second largest city in Spain and the capital of Catalonia. Long a tourist hotspot, much of the local economy is driven by tourism.
OOP posts a picture of graffiti in a park with the message: “Tourist: your luxury trip my daily misery.” [sic]
Users begin debating if this is a fair take, the effect of tourism on the city, and vomiting memes.
For ease of readability to a majority English-speaking audience, I’ve translated some comments from Catalan, poorly.

The Drama:

Is the graffiti expressing a selfish sentiment?

What a selfish, shitty thing to say to someone trying to live their best lives and share a bit of the magic you enjoy everyday.

Love this comment! Not all tourists are bad.

Tourism is unsustainable.

So we should all just stick to the respective cities we’re born in? What a lovely, thriving, multi-cultural society that’ll end up in /s

Not all the cities have the same problems. Responsible tourism is a thing

[Continued:]

Then why don't you vote for politicians that want to improve the situation?
Tourism tax, restrictions on how many people can visit a park/attraction per day, etc pp.
Instead you get nonstop whining on reddit. Or shared bicycles that can only be rented by Barcelona residents. Wow, good job! The tourism tax is at only 4-5€ per night in Barcelona. Compare that to Berlin where it's a whopping 7% soon (which is usually way higher than 5€).

Who did tell you who I vote for or what I do? [If you want we can talk face to face when you want clown]

Oh no, we got a badass over here. [I didn't say anything like that, of course you tourists are the problem if your head lacks intelligence...]

[It's very good to learn Catalan (good luck with what you have left to reach a decent level, I'm really telling you this with love) but don't put words in other people's mouths without knowing. There are many of us here who are fed up with the borderline situation that the city is living in and if you are a privileged person who doesn't get the slightest bit, I would at least ask you to have the decency to keep quiet when it's time to keep quiet]

[…]

No. We should stop travelling at the expense of the plane, the cities and the people's suffering. And locals should resist what makes their lives more difficult. In this case, a tourist model that hikes rents, contaminates and destroys the social fabric of the community displacing people and creating precarious jobs that provide no stability or value. Barcelona can be a great and fun place if you are staying here for a week, or if you are a remote worker that gets paid by a large firm with headquarters in Amsterdam. But that fun can be, and is, disastrous for other people. That search for sun and beach, of parties and stories uploaded to social media causes many problems for others. That's a fact. Non-sustainable tourism is what it is. Tourists and expats (high earning migrants) can be, individually, very nice and conscious folks. But the dynamics they are participating in are the cause of many problems for the city and its inhabitants.
[It's the market, friend.]

[…]

The problem isn't the singular tourist. The problem is suffocating hordes of tourists that treat your home like an amusement park or museum.
Tourism can be a real economic win for a city, but it also has externalities that can kill the very thing that made it special if not kept in check. Barcelona is a great example of this.
I say this both as someone who loves to travel and who lives in a tourist hotspot.

I mean, there is not too much you can do about it besides a ridiculous tax, and that would be a little hypocritical if you love to travel, because traveling should be accessible to the majority of people.
It makes sense to me if you defend the free market, and you put the price on your city or whatever you want to do like a libertarian, but again,it is hypocritical when we see that the political party that won the elections do not like the free market or libertarian politics.
You can't have all.

Woooosh!
That's the sound of everything going over your head

Lmao, it is the definition of being a logical thinker and not being a hypocrite.

Oh sorry, it went so over your head, that you didn't even hear the whoosh.
You're talking politics when I was talking social and economic. So, not much of a logical thinker.
But it doesn't surprise me that Barcelona would vote that way. It's called the resource curse, and by now tourism will have all but killed all other industries. So yeah, they have no choice now. Which is exactly what I was talking about in my second paragraph.

Who are the users of the sub anyway?

Because 90% of the people answering are expats. They don't fucking care about locals, they mostly despise or ignore them. Most of them live in their own English ghettos, not even bothering about anything else that themselves.

Biggest load of horseshit I’ve read all day.
You live in fantasy land and it’s really, really sad to see. I hope you open your eyes one day.

[How is your Catalan?]

[my Catalan is good. not that it matters]
Nobody “despises” Catalans. Every single person I know that has moved here is desperate to get involved with local culture, history and activities. They try their hardest to learn the language. They try their hardest to make more catalan friends.
Classic Reddit perpetual victim.

Is Barcelona dying?

Barcelona is dying. Soon it will be an empty city, a shiny shell of what had once been alive and authentic. The locals can't face the rent prices, the gentrified shops and bars, we are forced to leave our neighborhoods and give up decent housing.

Looking at rent availability and prices - it is very far from dying.

Are you looking at the prices as a foreigner or as a local? Because wages in Spain for most of us are quite poor, so yes, it's really difficult to find decent housing with those prices

And yet people don't do anything like moving away meaning situation is still not that bad.
When things like that happened in my country - a lot of people emigrated for better work and things normalised at home too.
Economy has a way of fixing itself. No workers to serve tourists - higher wages or fewer tourists.

It will only be expats and tourists here and the 10% rich Catalans in the end. Look at the most common local salary from locals in the city.

You're so close to understanding the root of the issue. Yet so far...

Yeah, it's all the fault of the 10% of evil Catalans. OK. Nobody else is responsable or can do anything.

[Continued:]

Think a little bit harder. You can do it.

[You're enlightening, kid.]

I give you the answer because you're obviously struggling. It's the wages. Your salary is shit, and there's no excuse for that because you live in a rich region, of a rich country, part of a rich continent.
And once again, one of the greatest success of those profiteering is to turn people like you into the useful idiots by pointing the finger to people from your own social class: in this case, the Ryanair flying middle to low income tourists (yeah, far from luxury holidays), who are the majority of the people visiting this city. And with whom you have much more in common than you realize.
While prices have increased, as it did everywhere around the globe, Barcelona remains a cheap city. And that's exactly the reason why it is such a popular destination across the spectrum of tourists, and especially with low income ones.
So, if you really want to change something, start asking yourself why wages are so low in such a rich region. And at an individual level, negotiate (like I did) an income worth your efforts. And if it's still not enough, keep in mind that 80% of the properties are owned by locals.

You don't know shit about how I fight, or any people like me for a more fair society. Probably way more than you. But this post is about overtourism and touristification. I can care about multiple things and fight multiple fights.

Then this conversation is over, you don't have the intellectual bandwidth to understand something as simple as how low wages are linked to the problem you blame "the tourists" for. Also, if me, an immigrant from a poor Caribbean country, is able to live significantly better than you in a place where I arrived few years ago without speaking the language, ask yourself the right questions about your fighting abilities, and probably your life choices.

[Continued:]

Lol you know shit about who I am, my life choices, or the money I earn. Your comment is funny.
I'm a socialist. I care about my family and friends, about people who had less oportunities than me. I despise people who only think about themselves, or fight only for themselves. The last part of your comment says a lot about you. Bye.

Sure, keep telling yourself that you're a socialist while defending a xenophobic agenda benefiting the ruling class. Like I said, useful idiots like you are what's keeping the system on its feet. Great work 👍

A user is crowned king:

When your own city becomes overcrowded all the time and you can’t afford to live in the center because it’s so expensive due to tourist/expats money inflating the market, it doesn’t matter how much money “the city” makes from tourism, your individual life is affected very negatively and you live worst off than with less tourism. I’m not even a local, but this is not hard to understand.

can’t really blame tourists for systemic issues

Erm, says who, you, the king?
If local wages are lower than abroad (not ideal but would be ok in its own, it’s still better than my own country) but due to how attractive the weather and culture is, people from other countries with much higher wages flock here and destroy the market, either by paying much higher (making it impossible for locals) or buying properties to rent (know many who do this, buy something, live in it 3 months of the year, and rent to other expats the rest of the year) - who’s fault is? The locals? lol

then fight for wages, not tourists.

This is why the locals hate you lol

[Continued:]

This is why I don't care bro.
[Photo of a beach]

What are you trying to prove? I’m not even a local, I just have more than a brain cell and understand why the locals blame the tourists, which is what was being discussed.

Nothing mate, I just really don't care who hates me. That is my day everyday at 11 am.

You care enough to have made now 3 comments that are totally irrelevant to what was being discussed.
“I don’t care. I swear. I promise! Let me show you that I don’t care. I really don’t care I swear”.

[…]

People working in tourism related jobs mostly work part-time, have no indefinido contracts and earn minimum wage. You can google that.
Some people are getting rich by tourism, most people are just surviving in it.
But of course 'expats' and tourists who represent most of the sub members and not local or immigrant workers are going to upvote your out of touch comment.

Some of these people need it to survive though

Not the Airbnb owners obviously

I have an Airbnb and I need it to survive.

Get a job.

What is misery?

Misery is that your old neighborhood is full of souvenir shops and none of your friends even live there anymore.

Shut the fuck up, Spain has one of the highest living standards in the world. You’re mad because other people want to visit and have a bit of it in their shitty lives? Spain has it so damn good, the thing youre complaining about is literally a problem around the entire developed world and isn’t necessarily any worse or unique to Barcelona. Stop being so damn dramatic and accept that your ‘misery’ is just you disliking seeing foreigners happy.

If you can afford spending hundreds of euros in partying and Airbnbs, why is their life so shitty? Leave your jobs and come work here as a server, try to rent anything with the minimum salary. Barcelona can be a paradise, but the tourist model is making it a hell for the majority.
Yeah, the market is being a problem for everyone everywhere. Now, people in Barcelona have to fight against the effects of the market in the city. As everybody should do in their home cities. A Barcelona for those who build their lives there, not for those who wish to consume and toss it.

Something tells me, me, a guiri, leaving my job and working in Barcelona makes Catalans even more mad than if I were just visiting.

And that something is in the room, here with us?
in fact if you live and work in Catalonia you are a Catalan. so this comment makes 0 sense at all.

Who’s to blame anyway?

Classic losers playing the victim card. Without tourism beautiful Barcelona's economy would be destroyed. But please keep blaming your shortcomings on others.

Barcelona was beautiful before tourism.

If you live in Barcelona, enjoy it. It is and will always be beautiful, and if you truly believe otherwise you are wasting the time you have in one of the world’s greatest cities. Times are tough, yes, but remember that people are also having tough times in the middle of nowhere, without any cultural outlets or ability to find likeminded people. Real estate greed is running rampant the world over, and hopefully it will not last.
Be a part of the solution, never travel again please. Just spend the rest of your life in Barcelona like a hermit. Otherwise you're a fucking hypocrite.

Hypocrite is thinking that tourism is good for the locals.

Ok great. Then be a part of the solution and never travel again. It hurts the locals. Been to London? Been to Berlin? Been to Italy? Greece? Cairo? Are you going to stop travelling and seeing the world? Everyone here knows perfectly well that you won't. It's just childish whining

The Flairs:

• “But I don't eat and vomit memes like you…”
  
• “Stop getting your news from memes”
  
• “You don't know shit about how I fight”
  

Yesterday on FB memories, a picture of my ex husband and I came up. We were young in the picture, and as someone who doesn’t look good in pictures I was admiring how good I looked in this one. I took a screenshot and sent to my daughter.
I asked her if it was weird seeing her dad and I together. He and I have been divorced for 8 years, and I’ve been remarried to 2nd husband for 4 years. Anyway, she said yes.. it is weird.
I then said “your dad was once very handsome, which is why I fell for him”.. which is true. I literally prayed for a hot husband at the time, not knowing there’s much much more to marriage and love than the superficial. I then mentioned myself, and how different I look in the picture.
We went on to talk about him for a little bit. I started asking questions about how he looks now. This was fueled by recently watching TikTok’s about alcohol cirrhosis, and how people’s stomachs swell up when they have it. My ex is/was an alcoholic.. so my questions about his current physique were trying to see if he has cirrhosis or not. If he was still drinking heavily or not. I asked about his swollen belly, etc.
My daughter gave me long answers. Told me more than whether his belly is swollen or not. I replied with 1 word answers. I just wanted to know if he has a swollen belly.
Anyway, the conversation ended. Went to bed.
But then my current husband somehow saw our text conversation. I don’t know if my daughter showed him or he looked thru her phone or mine. But he saw the texts, came to bed, and said a snarky comment like “he was so handsome” in a mocking way. I tried to explain but he cut me off, put in ear plugs and went to sleep.
This morning he wakes me up early by shouting into the bedroom “I want a divorce”. Then called me a lying ass slut.
I can see how the conversation w my daughter looks like I’m reminiscing and maybe even missing my ex but that’s not the case at all. He won’t listen to my explanation.. and I definitely didn’t deserve to be called a lying slut.
AITA for having that conversation with my daughter?

I was feeling secure about this at first but im a bit worried now please tell me im safe🤞 …
So I talked about how conflict forces both into guilt with kamikaze for failure of duty and in prelude its for moral wrongdoing and linked both to the concept of purgatory showing how physical conflict forces him to the border between life and death in kamikaze and internal conflict forces him in prelude to the boundary of hell with the personification of nature looming (as if the consequence of his actions) and being another conflicting force.
I also compared the use of darkness in both linking to the fear conflict instills in them for different reasons. The endings of the poems I talked about and im worried i didn’t directly link them at that point but I briefly talked about how tone is similar around the beginning (hope) and how in prelude the ending “dreams” is linked the idea of people using religion and idealism as a defense mechanism of hope against conflict in prelude as he paints an ideal picture of the world before the volta denying his internal battle of guilt
Edit: Just scared because remains would have been the most sensible choice will i still be equally credited if i linked well enough?

Flying home as I write this.
First don’t sweat the weather in May. We had what looked like 5 days of rain but we didn’t get a drop of rain until the last day. Got cloudy and looked like it might rain here and there but for the most part it was very pleasant weather. Don’t sweat it but pack some options.
Cash/credit. Almost didn’t need a euro. Paid with Apple Pay everywhere - taxis, metro, sites, restaurants, etc. one exception was the artists near sacre couer only took cash. Never needed or asked for a PIN.
Sites. Did all the major sites. Each and everyone now has heavy duty security, metal detectors and even body scanners. This makes it a very slow process to get in. Plan for that.
Arc de triumph was particularly painful when we were there. Eiffel Tower is also very painful due to the queueing at the elevators. Took us 2 hours minimum to get to top and back down. Louvre did a mad dash for the Mona Lisa at 9am and that worked out well with pretty small crowds. Then got to relax and enjoy the rest of the museum.
Funny - by the Eiffel tour you can go see the Olympic countdown clock. Ironically it was showing 101 days to the games when it was only supposed to be 67. Got a picture. It even made the news. Dummies. Makes me question how prepared they are for the Olympics. Hopefully they don’t think they have an extra month of prep time :)
Olympics prep - didn’t impact us in the least. Nothing we wanted to do was blocked by it.
Safety - no issues. Felt perfectly safe late at night, on the metro, Ubers, etc. only saw one clipboard lady at the Eiffel Tower and just walked away.
Trip highlight - Le Calife dinner cruise was amazing. I’ve been to Paris several times before but never did this due to seeming like a tourist trap - which I think most are. This one gets it right. It’s high end food and service on a boat. It was awesome - not cheap though. We were very happy with our front of boat seats. Great way to end the trip. Was from 8pm to almost 11pm.
St. Chapelle was an amazing first for me. Pretty incredible and worth the body scan to get in.
Ubemetro - took the metro to/from sacre couer just to let my son have the experience - it’s very easy to buy tickets and use. Otherwise mostly walked or did Ubers which were quick and plentiful. Official taxi from Cdg to Paris was easy to find - the trip into the city however was very painful and took close to 1.5 hours with the morning traffic.
Food - too much to report. We didn’t have a bad meal anywhere and refreshing to have good service regardless of price.
Recommend an after dinner stroll to a gelato shop every night.
CDG - I was really sweating coming home today with some kind of strike going on which mostly impacted the trains but also some airport staff. Showed up 3+ hours early to CDG but breezed thru security and passport check in under 30mins. Give yourself time but the horror stories seem overblown.
Edit:
Language - almost everyone we came across spoke English to a good degree. We tried our best with French but usually switched to English when they heard our attempts :). I do think a merci here and there is appreciated. We did have one taxi driver with very limited English but we made it work.
Holidays - many French holidays in May. We were there for Pentecost and whit Monday - both seems to be a non event for us and nothing we came across was closed due to this. So hard to tell which holidays are impactful or not for tourists, but this wasn’t one of them.

I've lived very spoiled because I have always been a good kid and straight A student until adulthood. My parents would grant me my every wish. I am 30F. But only problem is they are so critical of everyone I date. They expect me to marry a good man. but they have also scared so many of the men I've truly liked. Those men who want to marry me only want me because I am a "good girl". It's creepy and it makes me feel weird.
I don't believe in relationships or love anymore. I just want to date someone they wouldn't approve of.
My background: my family is involved in politics in Mexico and I have to represent them. If I post a risqué picture they say no that's not classy take it off- even if just showing a bikini. I don't ever post bikini pictures. Once I liked a guy with tattoos and my grandmother through a fit. She screamed at me. I cried that whole day. She said I shouldn't date any men with tattoos. I am traumatized of trying to impress them. If a guy comments on my pictures someone would say, "take that comment off, he looks like a low life." My mom never allowed me to date the guy who I truly felt something for and felt the same way, she said it would "devastate my family and he wouldn't be allowed in the house. That he would only break my heart. " I've cried so much. There is so much pain in my heart.
When I went to my dream club in Mexico my uncle told my cousin and his best friend to keep a close eye on me. They hired bodyguards. We had a VIP front table and I met some actor and asked of a picture but every guy who would ask me to dance would have to ask my cousin for permission but they would leave to do c0ke in the restroom and I had my chance. but It went to the extent that if I wanted to go to the bathroom, the security said no you cant go alone. Until I told them this is enough this is too much. Let me be!. Then my cousin got into an alteration with a guy who was giving me a rose. And once his best friend asked me on a date, my cousin went behind my back and told him to "stay the fuck away from her." My cousin simply said, "he's into drugs, he is no good for you." It was an amazing night except them getting in the way of who I date! Why can't I have that crazy moment and wild moment with a guy. I met someone I truly connected with that night but my family scared him away.
all the best kisses I've ever received were there in Mexico in clubs. but then I would get paranoid and look around and thinkg what if someone knows me or my family and they talk. I am still so innocent I haven't even seen a guy naked or French kissed anyone. that is why I go for the "bad boys," because my whole life they kept trying to arrange me to date and marry men they approve of but some of them have been the worst men I've ever met in my whole life!!! I want to have an adventure with someone not have sex but just learn how to kiss and learn about men's body. But everytime I date someone I keep thinking "will my family approve of them." I care so much about what they think. But they will run their mouth anyway. And what if my type is guys with tattoos who smoke. I am tired of pretending. I want to learn how to French kiss with one of those guys. Why is is to bad
I usually cry every other night to sleep when I remember who I used to like who they didn't approve of. He's moved on but you cant help but think the what ifs. and I don't drink but I have been drinking more to numb this feeling

For the context, I am from India. And in India, in-laws/parents have a major role to play in the affairs of a married couple. Thankfully, I am not having to live my in-laws. But I do remember how when I was pregnant, they never bothered to call or ask me how I was doing. They have also never been very approving of me because their son went against their wishes and married an intercaste person.
Anyway, I had my elective Caeserean Section a month ago. As soon as I was out and back to my hospital room, I remember my mother-in-law holding the baby. The baby was never brought or shown to me in the hours following the delivery. I remember asking her to show me the baby's face and then she reprimanded me saying, "You just keep quiet and rest!" She kept the baby to her and even my own mother came and whispered into my ears, "I wanted to hold the baby but never got a chance". And then out of nowhere, my mother-in-law alongwith her own sister came and started putting the baby to my breast pressing hard on my CS scar. I screamed in pain but they didn't stop. They kept squeezing my breasts and not a single drop of milk was to be seen. Then they dismissed me off as someone who was too unhealthy to produce milk (according to them, thanks to my older food habits) and immediately put my newborn to bottle feed. They repeated this for the next 5 days and then I was discharged. The in-laws and their family would spend the entire day at the hospital and be with my baby. I had to ask someone to take a video of the baby and show me because he was never brought to me. The husband was also negligent towards me. Once discharged, I was asked to travel immediately to their hometown which is ten hours away and the condition of road is extremely bad. There were potholes and bumps and I had to cry my way. Neither my husband nor my parents showed any compassion or tried to stop this travel. I was still not able to produce much milk during my stay at my in-laws. They kept judging and commenting on me, thereby ruining the first month of my recovery as well. I was expected to be prim and proper to entertain their deluge of guests and was called "disrespectful and selfish" for staying in bed all day. My husband also totally supports his parents and it irks me to no end. This disguised patriarchy and domination has literally ruined my bonding experience with my baby and I'm still not able to breastfeed him or produce enough milk.
I would see videos and pictures of mommas holding their newborns right after delivery. Some on their chest, some to their cheek. And videos of husbands holding and helping their wives walk after surgery. When I asked my husband to help my out of bed, his mother commented that I was too fat for her son to help and it would take 4 persons to pull me out of bed. I was so hurt by this comment that I ended up getting out of bed, unassisted, took bath unassisted and had my first walk post surgery unassisted. But I regret how everytime I tried to hold my baby, I was either told I'm too weak and should rest or that I don't know how to do it. So I could never snatch my baby and exert my right. My husband even called me "failure of a mother" when I was unable to breastfeed in the hospital.
All of these incidents keep playing in my mind and I am just not able to be the mother that I could be or wanted to be. I feel like it is too late to teach my baby how to latch and that he would be on formula milk forever. I feel like it is too late to produce enough milk for my baby and that my breastfeeding journey has truly been a failure.

Hey Redditors,
I’m diving into writing a research paper and thought I’d share some tips that have helped me along the way. Whether you’re a newbie or looking to refine your skills, these pointers can guide you through the process.

1. Choose a Clear, Focused Topic: Start with a broad area of interest, then narrow it down to a specific question or hypothesis. A well-defined topic helps you stay on track and makes your research more manageable.
2. Conduct Thorough Research: Use a variety of sources—books, academic journals, reputable websites. Take detailed notes and organize them by theme or argument. Don’t forget to keep track of your sources for citations!
3. Develop a Strong Thesis Statement: Your thesis is the backbone of your paper. It should be clear, concise, and reflect the main argument or finding of your research. Everything in your paper should support or relate to this statement.
4. Create an Outline: Organize your thoughts and structure your paper before you start writing. An outline helps you see the big picture and ensures a logical flow of ideas.
5. Write a Compelling Introduction: Grab your reader’s attention with a strong opening. Provide background information and clearly state your thesis. Your introduction should set the stage for the rest of the paper.
6. Craft Clear, Coherent Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Start with a topic sentence, provide evidence or examples, and explain how it relates to your argument. Use transitions to maintain flow.
7. Use Credible Sources: Back up your arguments with evidence from credible sources. Peer-reviewed journals, books by experts, and official statistics are generally reliable. Avoid questionable websites and outdated materials.
8. Analyze, Don’t Just Describe: Go beyond summarizing your sources. Critically analyze the information, compare different viewpoints, and explain the significance of your findings. Show how your research contributes to the field.
9. Write a Strong Conclusion: Summarize your main points and restate your thesis (in a new way). Discuss the implications of your findings and suggest areas for future research. Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression.
10. Revise and Edit: Don’t submit your first draft. Take time to revise for clarity, coherence, and consistency. Check for grammar, punctuation, and formatting errors. Consider getting feedback from peers or mentors.
11. Properly Cite Your Sources: Avoid plagiarism by correctly citing all sources. Follow the required citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.) consistently. Proper citations add credibility to your paper and acknowledge the work of other researchers.
12. Stay Organized and Manage Your Time: Break down the writing process into manageable steps and set deadlines for each. Use tools like reference managers (Zotero, Mendeley) to keep your sources organized. Staying on schedule reduces stress and improves the quality of your work.

Remember, writing a research paper is a process. Don’t rush it, and give yourself time to think, write, and revise. Good luck, and happy writing!

I’m not sure what to do. Me and my boyfriend are long distance and we’ve been doing good. But… if I show him some outfits I like or some pictures I wanna post on my socials.. he says it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t want me to wear or post what I show him. And the things aren’t bad, like I was wearing a strapless dress to a wedding, he didn’t like it and said it made him uncomfortable because it’s strapless and he knows im gonna look nice. The pictures I wanted to post, some showed a little cleavage and he said has uncomfortable with those ones, so I said okay, what about the ones with just my face, and he said “ I don’t know… “ when I asked why he said bc he knows that other people are gonna see the pictures and he knows I’m pretty so he’s jealous.
I ordered a dress today and the back of the dress was open and he told me that he doesn’t think it would look good on me. So I canceled the order and then felt very poorly of myself.. he realized I felt self conscious now so he said he only said that bc the back was open and it made him uncomfortable but didn’t wanna make me angry.
I’ve talked to him about all of this and that we need to work on it and he said okay but I have to keep an open mind about how he feels.. idk.. I just feel like it’s a little much at this point..

When Moody shows Harry the picture of the original OOTP, it leaves me with so many questions. I need to hear people’s thoughts and headcanons!
The picture must have been taken around July 1981, as we know Marlene McKinnon was killed two weeks later; and Lily mentions the death as a recent event, as she’s writing to Sirius about Harry’s first birthday.
But that means that many of the original order were killed in an incredibly short time frame. Also Caradoc Dearborn must have vanished after the fall of Voldemort (as he vanished 6 months after the photo was taken). This isn’t impossible, there were still Death Eaters on the loose and Alice and Frank were attacked after the fall of Voldemort. But you do get the impression that Alice and Frank’s attack sent ripples through the community precisely because people were starting to feel safe.
We know Remus says they were outnumbered 20:1, so the Order just being plucked off one by one over a short timespan isn’t that unlikely. However, that still leaves a number of possible narratives: 1) the Order was just established - hence the photo. The photo does have a bit of that coming together to create a movement energy. However, we know this doesn’t fully work because Lily and James and the others had already been fighting Voldemort for years 2) the Order was relatively unknown to Voldemort / not a high priority until around July 1981 (maybe he wanted to really go after them once he needed to find Harry). So that until that moment most of the OG Order remained alive 3) there were possibly quite a few more members in the Order prior to c July 1981, but they have already been killed
Also, if Lily and James were in hiding at this point, which we know because James was getting restless, then what are they doing in that picture??? (and is Bathilda looking after Harry??! Are they not worried about him?!?)
The timing of the photo feels like a mistake. It feels like JKR forgot she’d said Marlene was killed two weeks after.

Sorry guys, this is going to be a long one. I've been considering homeschooling my children for quite a while. I have a few reasons why the thought continually crosses my mind.
The first is the education aspect. From Kindergarten to now, my oldest seems to struggle in class. More socialization and less concentration. I will say that did tone down quite a bit during this past school year. But beyond that, each progress report sent home says that she is behind in this area or that. They don't assign homework, so I rarely know there is an issue until the reports come home. Despite my asking several times, I never receive anything that shows what they are working on, so I use the report to see the struggle areas and sit one on one with her, and she does wonderful! I know all parents feel that way about their children and boast, but she really seems to do well. I have no problem getting her to focus and learn. I've also noticed that some of the areas they claim she's struggling in, she's not as behind as the reports say. There's been several times where I've found she knows the material quite well and when I bring it up with the teacher, I'm brushed off and told that the testing system they use is never wrong. Even when I've showed the extra work she has done at home that shows she knows the material, I get "well you probably gave away the answers without realizing it".
The second is the bullying. She was bullied half the year this year by a kid in her class twice her size. Nothing was ever done about it until the day he went too far and she stomped him. Not figuratively either. Principal said after he kicked her, she literally only used her feet to get this boy to the ground and proceeded to kick him until the teacher pulled her away. Until that incident, she would come home in tears saying she was told she was ugly and stupid. She would beg me not to make her go to school. She used to be so self-confident and now it's gone. He stopped bothering her after that incident, but she still says that she feels that she's ugly and stupid despite us telling her that is not true.
The third reason is an incident that took place near Christmas time. We are not a Christian household. We follow a different faith. But one day both children came home and started saying we were celebrating winter holidays wrong. I asked my oldest what she meant, and she told me that they had watched a video in class and learned that we are supposed to only celebrate the birth of Jesus. She said it was in music class and that they were also learning songs for the winter concert and when I asked what songs, they both started to sing church hymns. That night my husband and I explained that there are different religions in the world and that Christianity is only one of them. The next day I brought my concerns up with this particular teacher and I didn't like that her response was "Oh we learned a Jewish song too so it's not all Christian based." I have no problem with my kids learning about other religions. The way I see it, the more they learn about other religions and cultures, the more understanding they'll be as adults and not judgmental just because it's not theirs. But this is a public school. Unless they're learning about all other religions and cultures, I don't see the need for anything religious based to be brought up at all.
With all this I thought I might give homeschool a sort of trial run over summer break. I figured that if it went well, I would homeschool starting next year. My husband is on the same page as me, but when I've mentioned this to other people/family though, they all tell me I'm making a mistake and I'm being selfish/overreacting. I've been told that I would be robbing my kids of special moments/memories like school dances, picture days, end of the year award ceremonies, and graduation. I've also been told that I'm setting them up failure because homeschooled kids don't get real diplomas and I'm ruining any chances they have of getting into a good college or a good career later in life. I've been told that their after-school activities won't be enough socialization and they'll be socially stunted as adults. So many people have said these things to me that it makes me question if I'm doing the right thing. So, I came here for advice. Do I follow my instincts, and continue on with my plan or am I really overreacting as everyone says?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year, from Dec 2022 to Dec 2023. During that year things didn't go very smooth, we had a lot of fights, which were mainly caused by constant miscommunication of our needs and expectations. Our big fights occured approximately every 2 months. Inbetween those events, we had plenty of very good and happy times, with travelling, holidays together etc.
Eventually, the repeating negativity and issues that couldn't be resolved through talking anymore outweighed the little positive that was left, and she broke up in December 2023. After a month of being separated, where we both had time to reflect on what led to our breakup, I contacted her and we met. A month later we got back together (February 2024). Our new relationship made a 180 degree turn and things couldn't be better right now. Our relationship is healthier than ever, we communicate well, there's no fighting at all. (In our 1st RS we barely had sex more than once every 2 weeks, now it was daily)
During our "first" relationship, we didn't post any pictures together, we never talked about moving in together or introduced each other to the family. Now in our "second" try, we met each others families, we post pictures together and we plan for long term goals. The only thing that never left my mind, was the question if she met someone else, maybe slept with someone else during our time apart. I asked her openly and she said no she didn't.
Last night, she fell asleep in my bed, I was still working on my PC. I don't know her pin code, nor did I ever try checking her phone or asked her to show me anything, I had full trust in her at any given time. She fell asleep listening a Youtube Podcast, which meant her phone stayed unlocked. I took it away from the bed to bring it to the nightstand for charging. While holding it, this sudden urge of checking her phone in order to convince myself that nothing ever happened overcame me. So I checked her whatsapp conversation with her best friend, as I knew that they exchange about everything. I scrolled up to the days where she left me in December 2023 and read til the day we got back together.
I found out that she started texting and meeting this new guy, shortly before she officially broke up. They had a few dates and slept together. After we met again and talked about our past relationship, she broke everything off with him. This reassured me, because this meant that our relationship was more important to her in the end, but it also shocked me because she lied. This made my insecurity skyreocket, so I started digging deeper and looked at other chats...
I found out that shortly after we got together and we started having issues (around march 2023) here and there, she began hooking up with different men, sexting and exchanging pictures. These hookups and texts occured frequently every month or two, from february 2023 until she broke up with me. This included a married man that secretely had an affair with her, a DJ and some other profiles that were now blocked. None of these conversations or any new ones extended beyond 2023. Since we got back together she didn't text any guy, and told her best friend how happy she was with me, now that our relationship is on the right tracks. The married man seemed to be a long time friend of hers, that she occasionally hooked up with during the last few years while being single. She talked to him about our issues, showed him screenshots of our fights and was looking for comfort. She told him multiple times how she can't continue like that but doesn't have the strenght to break up. Many of the things that she complained to him about were actually things I did and they were indeed mostly my fault.
I am totally devastated, I know I shouldn't have done it and I'm ashamed of what I've done. It completely shattered anything that I believed was true about her. I didn't tell her anything or show any anger this morning as she left for work. I don't know what to do. I love her so much and everything is finally perfect since we "redirected" our relationship onto the right path. I'm not trying to defend or justify anything that she did, but I feel like her actions were linked to the things that didn't go well during that entire year.
Either I tell her that I checked her phone, which will lead to a breakup or I figure out a way to see the "old" and the "new" relationship as two separate events, since I couldn't find anything indicating that she's still seeing other people and being dishonest. On one hand, I don't know how to pretend as if I didn't know it, on the other hand I don't want to end this for something that is linked to a past relationship. This year we are invited to several weddings together, we booked our vacations, etc.
Please help me..

Not sure if I’m doing this right but here we go. So I M21 have been talking to this girl F20 for a few months now, nothing really serious but we do vibe and get along pretty well. She has a lotta friends but the focus here are 2 guy friends. One of them she slept with about 4 months before we started talking, and he admitted he had feelings for her but she shut it down and as far as I know he lost feelings. The other one is guy #1’s best friend, and her and him actually did have feelings for each other and went on some dates, but he ended up telling her he didn’t want to continue dating. Recently I went to a party and meet guy #2, I had been to a couple before that with no issue. But at the party with guy 2 after he saw me with her his mood went from vibing to just sitting out side staring off into space. The next time they had a party her guy friends throwing it texted her “come alone” or “don’t bring the guy you’re talking to.” She said she’ll talk to them, but so far shows no sign of even bringing it up. They’ve had 4 get togethers like this and I found out guy 1 took a picture of them sitting by each other and wanted to tag me in it. I don’t want to force her to do anything or push her to confront them but this is really starting to bother me to the point I stay up and can’t sleep. I’ve been cheated on before, my ex made friends with some dudes didn’t like me and she ended up having an emotional affair with one of them and this is making me feel the same way I felt before. I don’t want her to think I’m trying to come between her and her friends, but it feels like they’re disrespecting me. Is there a way I can approach this or just abandon ship? Thank y’all in advance.
TLDR: talking stages friends don’t like me and tell her to not invite me out with her, it’s starting to bother me and I’m not really sure what to do.

Okay so some back story, we met at work6 years ago, she was shy and quiet and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
She already had a kid I knew that and also thought it was absolutely worth it. She did tell me not to worry about the kid which I did think was weird and I told her I was serious so I would not be doing that.
Anyway 3 years we decide that I had a new very well paying job and we both wanted a baby. It took a while but it worked out eventually and I have a beautiful daughter now. My relationship with her son was constantly strained as she just never allowed me to be a role model or a dad to him just constantly blocking activities of just me or him or if I had to do any sort of parenting she would immediately undermine me and coddle him all the time.
Anyway this is where the problems start. The moment she was pregnant she got aggressive and mean. Now I know that can be part of it, women have it rough. But I mean really mean. This is in the UK she was on benefits (this is not to be rude it was her best choice) so her income was real low and I had to do most of the buying etc.
I did everything for her. Took her out bought her things. Showed her affection took her and her son on things that she could never afford and I did treat her really well. I got a bit distant when the abuse was constant, everyday it was something else. Like literally insulting me for how I looked or dressed or a wet towel literally in the hamper, you get the picture it was not nice.
We even got a house which was a joint effort through a housing scheme. I dropped all my savings into that house even levelled the garden (we didn’t even have a finished bathroom) cos she told me she wanted it. I did a lot of it myself. Laid the floors pulled waste (like almost 2t of concrete) out of the garden ground and levelled it almost completely alone.
This is all to say that I did so much for her I truly loved her and to me it didn’t matter she was yelling and shouting everyday cos we were going to make it work. Anyway a year and a 1/2 in the house and it’s almost daily. Shouting screaming. Not all one sided anymore but I had been chipped away that much.
I left. This is my biggest mistake of my life, as she got to do what she wanted. She truly didn’t want me there.
She swears she begged for me to come back or said we should go counselling. I can tell you she did not even message me. Only responding to me or messaging if she wanted something.
I never should of left I loved those 2 kids (I still try to see the son as much as possible - she still tries to interfere) and I see my daughter less than 50% against my will.
I gave her everything, things she never would have had in her life. The house now would still be unfinished if it wasn’t for what I put in.
This is what I need help with. She is almost 31 and she’s got with a 21 year old at work. This is kind of grim to me. I have been asking to come back try for the kids and I love her so much etc etc.
She’s got with someone a decade younger who doesn’t drive has dropped out of college and she says he’s mature but I have met him and he goes out drinking and partying. To me this is a selfish choice as this is not someone who benefits or even cares for the kids.
She’s allowed to be with whoever she wants I get that. And even though I tried my best together and after and I should feel I tried my best but I just feel defeated
A 21 year old she works with. No drive no ambition, (these are facts not attacks on him, I used to work there too. He’s happy to stay minimum wage and does not care to even learn to drive) over me who gave both those kids everything I could and I really did treat her so well truly sucks
She said it’s cos we didn’t have a good connection??? We had a kid together moved in together and then she begged to get a dog with me for the kids even though she hates dogs? To me that makes no sense
The advice now for me is what am I suppose to do? How do I get over her new partner? Again she can do what she wants and yea she says it’s serious and so does he. And what do I do about the son I care a lot but I get a lot of mixed messages about how it should be handled.
Full clarification i unfortunately do still love her. She was the only person I have ever been with emotionally and physically so maybe there’s strong emotions I don’t understand on my end that she doesn’t have? She truly just tossed me away
Sorry final bit I don’t know where to fit it in
We (just me) tried again this year (05 Jan - 6th March) I spent loads of money treating her and the time I got back with the kids. I played with the kids and gave her breaks from them (which is something I did not do well before) but she did not do anything in return emotionally or even try messaging me I had to do everything. Turned out she was messaging this 21 year old for at least a week before that ended.
Thank you for any input
EDIT: I feel like I just need to be clear about the partner cos I know it’s not all about what you offer and what you can do. I just feel like why not someone your age? Or someone who can at least provide experience to those kids? She has said she never wants kids again and apparently he says he doesn’t want one? To me this is just weird I don’t think a 21 year old would truthfully be able to answer that question? Yeh probably doesn’t want kids now but maybe in future when he’s got more figured out. And like I said he’s got no motivation and no drive. It is truly a hold up point for me.
I loved her and I did so much I don’t get how it can be just thrown away. She won’t even meet in person to talk it out. She just says ‘I’m with someone’ I have given up contacting now cos it seems that is truly what she wants. It’s been very depressing but there’s not much I can do about it

I have already made short post that I finished series finale. I stiil feel sad, depressed and that feeling when tv show ended.... unbelievable how "The Shield" is stuck with me. Can't believe this journey is over.
I wanted to say so many things. Firstly, how can I miss this? I was too young when it came out, but I hear about "The Wire" everywhere even now. "The shield" feels like out of the radar all the time. WE MUST DO SOMETHING WITH IT! Please, just watch "The Shield"!
My friend told me to watch it and he stumbled upon this Tv show in one cool review that was left by some user (girl , actually) on my native language site about movies/tvshows.
When I look at some photos and pictures of "The Shield" I have thoughts that it is like CSI or some other typical cop show with nothing more. How wrong was I with such first impression.
What I really like that "The shield" has blu-ray release. So cool tv show is reinnovate for high quality format and has a lot of bonus features on blu-ray.
My friend also told me that I need to watch especially until Season 5 where it will be so high level quality writing that I gonna really appreaciate "The Shield".
As for myself, I fond of cinema. I just not go easy on any movies/tvshows. I am very nit-picking because I like to learn about cinematography, screenwriting, directing and so on. For me movies like the greatest art and I study movies as an art. That's why I feel bored about modern movies and TV shows. Screenplays are not bold, not so complex, characters feel flat and creators afraid to insult other races, woman right and so on. Many movies and TV shows of modern era feel convinient. I am tired of that. And I started to watch "The Shield" six months ago.
"The Shield" was aired in the right time! Year 2002 like "The Wire". From the pilot episode "The Shield" don't try to be convinient, it shows you what Vic and his team doing, what "The barn" doing everyday. Everything around characters feels not-convinient: drug-addicted, child trafficking, other awful staff around. Characters not just saint and clean, they do what they have to do like it or not as a viewer. That's what I wished for a long time. "The Shield" just clicked with me. I can't even imagine TVshow about cops can be on such level with great cast, great characters, really good screenwriting, directing and editing.
Before "The Shield" I can't tolerate semi-documentary cinematography and "hand-held" effect of camera in movies. In "The Shield" I fall in love with such camerawork and editing. That's really what I can't imagine I would love in cinemas. In this Tv show every take is so close, editiing beetwen close-mid plan camera panning and it feels so great in terms of "The Shield" storytellling. You are always near characters, you like breathing just around their shoulders and see every bad side of Farmington so close that you feel how disgusting this district is. Incredible work from cinematographers and editors.
Dynamic feeling of everything that happens on the screen. The greatest part of "The Shield" it is never trying to dragging some melodrama to extend seasons or try to be sentimental in the scenes. Modern TVshows really like that and i don't. Don't need to play with the viewer. In "The Shield" everything happenes so fast, so realistic that sometimes you can't even catch a breath. Not a single dull episode. In every episode something cool will definetely happens and it keeps you attached to the screen. And I don't mean that "The Shield" hasn't some melancholic or not-fast pacing moment. On the opposite, "The Shield" has everything what makes cinema alive and fascinating.
Let me explain what I really like about "The Shield" and I have never experience such different emotions just in one piece of the cinema:
In "The Shield" you can feel like a kid again and rooting for cool-masculine guys who breaks door and shout: "Police! On the ground!". After some episodes I really wanna just play in cops and criminals on my yard with friends. That's how action feels in this Tv show. I wanna buy merch with "Strike Team" on it and snake eating rat logo. Incredible.
In "The Shield" as an adult you can feel totally devastated by events that just happened on the screen. You can feel pure emotions from character actions. And what most important you don't want to judge character right away you want to put yourself in his shoes because what character did feels so realistic. Characters here not some fancy cards, you can feel them like real human beings.
In "The Shield" you can laugh as an adult. Humor in some scenes and from some characters really spot on and not stupid. It is full drama but some episodes has great humor parts. And again it feels so real and natural like human beings in real life would joke about something. Bilings sutuations and lines from later seasons are just pure gold.
In "The Shield" you want to discuss some parts of the story. It feels like after reading a good complex books with interesting characters you start to think about their actions and how you can think about your actions in the real life. What it is like to be a coward? To be hypocrite? What about loayalty and friendship? Trust me not so many movies/TVshows can be so full-thinking. It's a miracle that such depth can be in cop TV show. I stiil can't imagine how believable characters are and situations in "The Shield". Script and story of all seasons and how characters arcs redeemed is golden!
So I trying to say "The Shield" can feel like popcorn-blockbuster cop show in some parts with overacting but sometimes it's pure complex drama with silence scenes and great acting and very realistic characters. It's the best mixture of movie formula that I have seen in my life! I stiil can't imagine that I saying such words in terms of cop TV show.
"The Shield" was ahead of its time. It is a real piece of art. In modern days I want to see Tv show with overacting (when it need to be done), cool action and the same time it can provide me with great drama sequences and believable characters.
[SPOILER] section below. Please read only if you watched the series.
What I also like about "The Shield" it has great leading character. Michael Chiklis was born for this role. Maybe in first seasons you can think he overacting sometimes and can't be so dramatic but in the late seasons Michael have shown one of the best acting scenes in cinema. Pure mastery. This 42 second silence in front of Olivia was something unique and incredible. Then final eyes scene with Cloudette and finale running eyes scene in the ending of season 7 when he sits alone.
Vic is so well written in every season. He is the anchor of the show. So charismatic, strategy wise, musculine and cool and what I like the most this character feels real. When Vic came alone in gang territory and didn't fear anything you believe in that. You understand as a viewer that not anybody in "the barn" have balls for things that Mackey can do. He uses "shortcuts" in police work that only he can manage. He has really metal backbone. Even when he mentally broke at the end of the 1st season he needs just a couple of minutes to grab his shit together and go further. Character has a great amount of willpower and dedication to do anything that he wanted to.
Vic is the greatest anti hero in cinema history. Many side characters hate him but when there is a problem that no one can resolve Mackey step up. Farmington is so dirty that it needs people dirty as Vic to clean it.
I actually always rooted for Vic as a viewer because nobody in "The Shield" is black and white. Even Claudette free Kleavon from death penalty to keep her warm place. And I like that "The Shield" shows every character is corrupt somehow.
But I can't believe that Vic betrayed Ronnie. It hits hard. After that I as a viewer understood Cloudette words: "Vic is trying to be someone he wants you to see him". We viewers see Vic true nature in the final episode and it hits hard too. He always was like that and we didn't want to accept. And some part of me like him but other part can't forgive him for what he did to others. Such a great character downfall through all seasons. And this shot when he smiled to his gun and go somewhere. Where did he go? He can't sit tight he always need to be "living on the edge" this his type of character.
I wanna write about other characters. Shane for sure. But Post is too big. I leave it for later.
10/10. I am empty and depressed that "The Shield" journey ended for me. Can't believe that many people don't know about this masterpiece. I am glad I stumbled upon it. It touched my strings for cinema love that not any movie or tv show touching in years.
So many emotions and thoughts. Thanks to Shawn Ryan, Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins and every other member of "The Shield" crew and FX. I wish I had a chance to tell it to them personally. I am grown man but I feel emotions like a kid again. Pure emotions from "The Shield" story.
To sum up my words. I like this ending montage of Season 2. It has great editing and you feel emotions. I literally cried when I rewatched it after the final. Clodette touches Dutch and thanked him. Aceveda moving forward. Coriine in thoughts. Dutch investigate a murder again. And Pile of money scene... Vic the only one who is laughing but others feel mix emotions. Gives shivers to my spine.
The Shield - Overcome Season 2 Ending (youtube.com)

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year, from Dec 2022 to Dec 2023. During that year things didn't go very smooth, we had a lot of fights, which were mainly caused by constant miscommunication of our needs and expectations. Our big fights occured approximately every 2 months. Inbetween those events, we had plenty of very good and happy times, with travelling, holidays together etc.
Eventually, the repeating negativity and issues that couldn't be resolved through talking anymore outweighed the little positive that was left, and she broke up in December 2023. After a month of being separated, where we both had time to reflect on what led to our breakup, I contacted her and we met. A month later we got back together (February 2024). Our new relationship made a 180 degree turn and things couldn't be better right now. Our relationship is healthier than ever, we communicate well, there's no fighting at all. (In our 1st RS we barely had sex more than once every 2 weeks, now it was daily)
During our "first" relationship, we didn't post any pictures together, we never talked about moving in together or introduced each other to the family. Now in our "second" try, we met each others families, we post pictures together and we plan for long term goals. The only thing that never left my mind, was the question if she met someone else, maybe slept with someone else during our time apart. I asked her openly and she said no she didn't.
Last night, she fell asleep in my bed, I was still working on my PC. I don't know her pin code, nor did I ever try checking her phone or asked her to show me anything, I had full trust in her at any given time. She fell asleep listening a Youtube Podcast, which meant her phone stayed unlocked. I took it away from the bed to bring it to the nightstand for charging. While holding it, this sudden urge of checking her phone in order to convince myself that nothing ever happened overcame me. So I checked her whatsapp conversation with her best friend, as I knew that they exchange about everything. I scrolled up to the days where she left me in December 2023 and read til the day we got back together.
I found out that she started texting and meeting this new guy, shortly before she officially broke up. They had a few dates and slept together. After we met again and talked about our past relationship, she broke everything off with him. This reassured me, because this meant that our relationship was more important to her in the end, but it also shocked me because she lied. This made my insecurity skyreocket, so I started digging deeper and looked at other chats...
I found out that shortly after we got together and we started having issues (around march 2023) here and there, she began hooking up with different men, sexting and exchanging pictures. These hookups and texts occured frequently every month or two, from february 2023 until she broke up with me. This included a married man that secretely had an affair with her, a DJ and some other profiles that were now blocked. None of these conversations or any new ones extended beyond 2023. Since we got back together she didn't text any guy, and told her best friend how happy she was with me, now that our relationship is on the right tracks. The married man seemed to be a long time friend of hers, that she occasionally hooked up with during the last few years while being single. She talked to him about our issues, showed him screenshots of our fights and was looking for comfort. She told him multiple times how she can't continue like that but doesn't have the strenght to break up. Many of the things that she complained to him about were actually things I did and they were indeed mostly my fault.
I am totally devastated, I know I shouldn't have done it and I'm ashamed of what I've done. It completely shattered anything that I believed was true about her. I didn't tell her anything or show any anger this morning as she left for work. I don't know what to do. I love her so much and everything is finally perfect since we "redirected" our relationship onto the right path. I'm not trying to defend or justify anything that she did, but I feel like her actions were linked to the things that didn't go well during that entire year.
Either I tell her that I checked her phone, which will lead to a breakup or I figure out a way to see the "old" and the "new" relationship as two separate events, since I couldn't find anything indicating that she's still seeing other people and being dishonest. On one hand, I don't know how to pretend as if I didn't know it, on the other hand I don't want to end this for something that is linked to a past relationship. This year we are invited to several weddings together, we booked our vacations, etc.
Please help me..

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

I am looking for a lady between 25 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner, training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with an avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or at a football game and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I'm looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus, emotional and intimate compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals and ideally, you do too.
Apparently in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well.
Second, intimate compatibility. I am rather insatiable and love to experiment when it comes to the bedroom, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, this kind of fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. I found the term 'filthy best friends and partners' to be a perfect description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
I’d prefer to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself.
Caveats

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I don't want children and had a vasectomy
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (: