I hope nobody else is doing this. And I hope you enjoy it because this is not going to be a regular occurrence. This season of German football was just too good to not write up. So let’s go over some storylines.
Bayer Leverkusen: 50. Fucking. Matches. Unbeaten. Do you realize how impressive that is? The fact that it was Never-kusen to do it is insane. Mostly down to Xavi Alonso being the next elite manager. He completely changed the Bayer team. Grimaldo, Frimpong, Wirtz, Boniface, Stanisic, Schick, Tapsoba. The building blocks of a title winning team. Congrats, boys, you saved German football. If you win this treble, it will be one of the greatest stories in football history. You ended the Bayern monopoly after years of stagnation. The goal now will be to keep the gang together. Alonso has already thwarted attempts for Bayern, Liverpool, and Madrid to sign him. The squad remains the big question. It’s not about whether key players will be sold, it’s about which ones.
Stuttgart: The amount of times I’ve double taked on 2nd place is comical. This team was fighting relegation last season. They only survived because they won the pro-rel playoff. Now they’re playing Champions League football next campaign. Guirassy surely was the story of the season. Deniz Undav regained his spot with Streets Won't Forget FC after his redemption campaign. Jee Woo-Yeong was a rock in midfield. Alex Nubel kept the ball out of the next making him a prime candidate as the next great German goalkeeper. More credit is due to their manager, Sebastian Hoeneß. Yes I Googled his name and copy and pasted it. The man got this team into the Champions League, a massive achievement for this club. A brilliant mind like that surely warrants a payday. Please don't let him get poached by Bayern.
Bayern Munich: An absolutely appalling season by the standards set in previous regimes. You have to understand, though. This Bayern was COOKED from the start. Thomas Tuchel bitched and moaned about Joshua Kimmich and Leon Goretzka's uselessness in a double pivot. He wanted a new No. 6. In the end, the Bayern board decided to use all their transfer funds on Harry Kane. The ROI on that move has been as advertised, with Kane only posting his best statistical season ever. The downside: Bayern went trophyless. You are reading that correctly. Not only that, they finished 3rd. Tuchel beefed with key players like Matthjs de Ligt and Kim Minjae. Injuries to guys like Gnabry and Coman also crippled the depth. Leroy Sane proved to be good strictly in the Champions League. Alphonso Davies was great but non-committal on his future in Munich. Eric Dier was brought in on loan and became a critical player in the second half of the season. Yes, that Eric Dier. It's now Kingsley Coman's first season without a league title since 2014. The Champions League could've been great, had it not been been for some fishy calls made in Real Madrid's favor in the semis, but it was not an elite team. Now they must truly rebuild, and first step is finding Tuchel's replacement. Which...nobody seems too keen on taking this job. The expectations are too high, and the rebuild is just too massive. You feel stupid for sacking Julian Nagelsmann now?
RB Leipzig: It was a growing year for the Red Bulls after bringing in so many new faces. Xavi Simons, Lois Openda, and Benjamin Sesko certainly excite but they are highly inconsistent. Openda still posted 24 goals across the season, with Sesko adding 14. Simons with 11 asissts was massive. Defensively, they were much more sound. Willy Orban managed to lock down the backline, finally. Mohamed Siamakan took large strides forward. Benjamin Heinrichs cemented himself as one of the lowkey ballers in Europe. The problem still remains doing it for longer. They were constantly hovering between 5th and 4th this season, and luckily results picked up at the back-end of the season to cement another season of European football. Marco Rose bought himself another season, where hopefully he will be able to shape the team to his liking. Stalwarts like Dani Olmo and Youssef Poulson might be moved on to generate funds. Leipzig clearly has ambitions now that the Bayern monopoly is on life support.
Dortmund: This team is a goddam headache. What the hell do you mean they made the Champions League Final and beat PSG convincingly to get there? Dortmund did that indeed. Their league form has been absolutely mid. They can string together some results but clearly lack the guile necessary to mount a title challenge. Or even a Pokal contention. But this is the current holder of the Vibes FC badge. Julian Brandt was the driving force of this team. He only had 15 goal involvements all season, but his passing was critical to set up the play. Niklas Fullkrug capitalized on his newfound status as the leader at the top. Gregor Kobel backstopped an otherwise leaky defense made up of aging Mats Hummels and the fat version of Niklas Sule. Jadon Sancho got exiled from Manchester United and came home. He wasn't the 20 and 20 player but he showed glimpses. Karim Adeyemi also took massive strides forward. Other standouts include Jamie Bynoe-Gittens becoming the next English player to develop abroad. Even if you don't win the UCL final, you managed to get Germany the 5th UCL qualifying spot.
Eintracht Frankfurt: Frankfurt's problems can boil down to a very simple reason: no real replacements. They lost Kolo Muani, Lindstrom, N'Dicka, and Kamada all in one summer window. The biggest loss was Oliver Glasner stepping down last year. Yet, they managed to get back into Europa League. Omar Marmoush only potted 12 goals across the season. The rest of it came down to collective effort. Ansgar Knauff showed some potential but is still too raw. Mario Gotze is still here and was already slowing down last year. This campaign all but confirmed it. Robin Koch fled the relegation of Leeds United to return to the German national team as their lead defender and a national team call-up. Kevin Trapp is still managing to keep himself under the radar but was still important for Frankfurt's fortunes. Dino Toppmöller deserves praise for this coaching job. Now the question will be is can he do it again?
Hoffenheim: Congrats, boys, you're going back to Europe. The Conference League should be an ample test of your mettle and growth as a club. But who are we kidding? For those who don't know, Hoffeheim are one of the few German clubs that benefit from a wealthy owner. 50+1 always has loopholes, and Deitmar Hopp has been willing to spend to get his club back into the big time. It hasn't worked to the extent some might hope, but it is indeed progress. A 32-year-old Andrej Kramaric was one of their standout players, and a mentor for young striker Max Beier. Both posted 14-goal seasons, enough to carry Hoffenheim up the table. USMNT fans got to watch the John Brooks redemption story. There were times where this team was outclassed by lesser opponents, though. Doesn't spell good for the next season.
Heidenheim: Bayer Leverkusen were the feel-good story of the season, but honorable mention goes to Heidenheim. Winning both the 3rd and 2nd division title is nice and all, but the Bundesliga is not the lower tiers. It's all good, though. A solid mix of German vets and young players created a hungry squad with a point to prove. Most would say a 2. Bundesliga club should focus solely on survival. Heidenheim said fuck that, let's shoot for a European spot. They just barely missed out but this is a massive step forward. Please for the love of all that is holy capitalize on the moment.
Werder Bremen: The club image restoration campaign continues. Werder is a former Bundesliga champion that has dropped to such a low they were in the 2. Liga just a few seasons ago. Since then they had relied on Niklas Fullkrug to carry them to survival. This latest finish is a massive improvement. Now without Fullkrug, they are carried by a rag tag group of German, Danish, Belgian, and American players. Ninth place will at least be a building block to getting back to cultural and football relevance. I wouldn't expect them to suddenly be a contender, though.
Freiburg: Christian Streich is usually applauded for the work he has done to keep Freiburg afloat in the top flight. This was another fruitful season, even if it seems anti-climatic. They had multiple players put 7 goals or more. Vincenzo Grifo was the top scorer, a midfielder, but added 8 helpers in addition. What more is there to say? The club is still fighting for its return to European competition after a pretty brutal time in the Europa gulag. Congrats, boys, you are now the West Ham of Germany.
Augsburg: Sorry you had to be Leverkusen's whipping boys on the final matchday, but someone had to be sacrificed for the Invincible run. Augsburg should feel lucky they finished 11th. 15 losses usually spells trouble, but they were rescued by clutch scoring from Ermedin Demirovic. It's better than previous seasons but don't you feel just a little bad about getting rid of Ricardo Pepi now? He won the Dutch league title with PSV. I don't know, you could've used him.
Wolfsburg: You know how Tree says "Detroit channeled a rear-ended Pinto?" Wolfsburg channeled a rear-ended Golf. It was an incredibly hot-and-cold season, which I guess should be expected when you employ Ralph Hassenhuttl as your manager. Yes, that Ralph Hassenhuttl, the man singlehandedly responsible for Southampton's relegation. Nico Kovacs was steering the ship into the abyss, and was promptly canned at the right moment. Replacing him with Ralph didn't improve anything. One day Wolfsburg would do something cool like beat Leipzig. The next they would lose to Union Berlin. Last season, Wolfsburg was just a few points outside a European spot. Now you've entered hell: mid-table.
Mainz: Bo Henriksen is at least trying to build something at Mainz. It was clearly not going to be easy. When you lose 4-1 to Union Berlin on the second matchday, that spells trouble. They did managed to get some decent results, but they were Bayern's punching ball one March day. 8-1...fucking hell (stoppppp! he's already dead!!). You managed to avoid the drop so I guess that's progress. You have an exciting young forward in Jonathan Berkhardt, and decent defensive stability with Sepp van de Berg and Philip Mwene. Don't get too excited, you have a long way to go before you're back at the big kids table.
Gladbach: There was a time when Gladbach were punching into European football. It's not this season, because this was a dumpster fire. Had Mainz not collected one more draw, Gladbach would've finished higher on goal difference. Which is -11...woof. The team lacked any defensive cohesion, and could barely string together a good run of form. Most times they had to keep rescuing themselves in squeaky bum time. USMNT fans won't want to hear it but Jordan Pefok and Joe Scally are not beating the mid allegations. Pefok only scored 5 goals. Scally still doesn't look like a legitimate starting right back. The legend of Julian Wiegl continues as he amassed ten yellow cards in a single season. They're a pretty young team so there is time to improve, but this is a real mess.
Union Berlin: The curse of the Champions League struck Union Berlin with a fiery vengeance. It is not unfair to say they were incredibly underprepared for the gauntlet that is elite European football. Almost all of the moves they made backfired. Bringing in Leonardo Bonucci for UCL experience only to find he was washed. He got exiled to the Turkish league for his fraudulent crimes. Brenden Aaronson was loaned in after he too fled relegation of Leeds United. He put up 4 goal involvements in one season...Medford Messi my ass. Roben Gosens was somehow the top scorer. He's a fullback. The honeymoon is over. It really took them until the final matchday to survive. That late penalty against Freiburg saved them for the drop. Good, you survived. Now don't fall off like that again. Your fans can be incredibly proud of you, considering you look way better than Hertha.
Bochum: Yea about what you expect with this club. They're a German yo-yo club. Yes, they do indeed exist. Sure, they still have a chance to stay up with pro-rel playoff coming up, but I don't expect much ever. Take your annual triumph over Bayern and get the fuck out. Getting absolutely bodied by Leverkusen to cement their title was a courtesy to you. Don't lose that playoff.
FC Koln: You guys fucking suck. I thought for sure Koln would at least put up more of a fight after getting promoted last season. Only collecting five wins?? FIVE? This is a goddam travesty playing out in real time. Yo-yo club status cemented. Given what I saw you'd be lucky to get back in to the top flight after this season.
Darmstadt: Darmstadt had two major problems that hindered their season. They couldn't defend, and they couldn't score. Double whammy if you ask me. Somehow you make teams look like Real Madrid. You got some wins over your relegation rivals. Take what you can, I guess. I think the 2. Liga is probably more your speed, though.

"Our perfect Father does not expect us to be perfect children yet. He had only one such Child. Meanwhile, therefore, sometimes with smudges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we present God with a dandelion – as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the altar. It is good to remember how young we are spiritually." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell, That Ye May Believe, 1992, p.10
I just wanted to share a touching story from mission when I felt Heavenly Father turn my dandelion into a rose: (taken from my journal)
Today was a really rough day. We were working really hard but it was just one of those days when you gain a testimony that the adversary is real and he hates you. However, on such days, you also gain a testimony that God is real and he loves you.
We were on the #88 bus coming back from ________ towards the center of the city. As we got on the bus, we immediately saw it was full of school children (about 6th-8th grade) coming back from the 2nd shift of school. I was standing, talking to a woman sitting down who had helped us know which bus to get on, when I noticed an 8th grade girl, crying, right behind her. She was in hysterics, and several of her friends were trying to comfort her. But one by one, they gave up and sat down across the aisle, leaving only the girl and one of her friends sitting next to her. I watched as the girl, through tears and short breaths, explained to her friend whichever devastating event had happened that day (whether it was a family issue, a personal issue, a school issue, I don't know). The friend tried to comfort her, but the girl would burst into tears as she told then story, then would try to regain her composure, and then would burst into tears again.
It was during this time that I had the thought (and I am certain it was from the Holy Ghost): "You should draw her a picture to make her smile." My immediate response was, "No, that's a silly idea! A picture? Of what? A rose?!" Then, the words of our beloved former prophet Thomas S. Monson came into my mind: "Why... That would be a kind thing to do" ("A Legacy of Love and Service", Ann M. Dibb)
I excused myself from the conversation with the woman, and sat down in an empty seat across the aisle from the crying girl. I pulled a pen out of my jacket, and searched for a piece of scratch paper in my pockets. I didn't remember have a scratch piece of paper, but as I put my hand into my right jacket pocket, my fingers touched paper. I pulled it out, and recalled that earlier that day, I had had a specific prompting to grab that piece of paper (which had an investigator's Skype written on it) with plans to contact the investigator through Skype (that never ended up happening that day). I thanked Heavenly Father and tore off a small square. On the square, I drew a rose: not a very good one, but for someone with little artistic talent skill on a bumpy bus with a cheap black pen, it did the job. Then, I wrote the following: (in the country's language)
Here is a rose
To make you happy
And not to cry
Everything will be okay.
God loves you.
I tapped the young girl on the shoulder, and she turned around, surprised and with tears in her eyes. I handed her the note, and then stood up and returned to my companion's side in the middle of the bus. Behind my back, I heard the girl's friend let out a gasp of joy! I turned slightly, to see, and I saw that the girl was no longer crying. She had a smile on her face, and was trying not to hold back giggling (not the "a cute boy just handed me a note" kind of giggling, but the kind of giggling that happens when you were just inconsolable and something shocks you into happiness). She was showing her friend the note and soon all of her friends gathered around her to see what had brought such a smile to their friend's face. Pretty soon, others on the bus who sat around her began to ask what was on the note. An older woman who sat in front of them asked to see it. Before you knew it, almost half the bus had seen the note (or at least it felt that way).
Immediately after seeing her smile, I thanked Heavenly Father: "Thank you for doing such a wonderful thing for that girl, Father." A little while later, I glanced back at the girl and saw her looking down at the note, holding it in her hands, not taking her eyes off of it, with a smile on her face. I saw her friends look at me, and she smiled at me, and in her eyes were the words "Thank you". I thanked Heavenly Father again.
The rest of the ride into center was different. The girl joined the rest of her friends, and they laughed together as they talked about whatever 8th grade girls talk about. I tried to talk to a few people by us, but they weren't in a talking mood. As we got off the bus, I turned back once more and waved to the girl and her friend. They waved back. No tears. Just a smile.
Thank you, Heavenly Father. I felt more like an observer than a participant in the whole event. Thank you for what you did for her. She knows you love her. She felt your love. You were right. It was a kind thing to do.
At the end of such a difficult day, it felt like that was the only thing I had to offer, my "dandelion" which Heavenly Father had turned into a rose.

• At 4yo (No joke) I would throw kisses/kiss/hug people I got infatuated with. No matter if known, or just met in public and generally guys. One day, however, my Ma & I were walking through a public park as we passed a group of teens/young adults - including a "beautiful dark-skinned young woman with long black hair". According to my mother, the second I saw this woman, I immediately let go of her hand: Running after the young woman and grabbing HER hand instead. According to my mother I had an "intense smile and stare about me" like she never saw and, ofc threw kisses after her, once dragged away
• At 8yo, I'd read my mother's "big books" (I always forget the name, sorry). They included folklore, legends etc. along with beautiful A3-prints of paintings accompanying the stories. I. Was. So obsessed with the drawing of serene women. Big, small, thick, thin, mortal, nymphs...till this day, I wish I could kiss one.
• At 10yo, I played an online MMORPG. The MMORPG included a "dating" function, but all the male players seemingly acted like assholes. In true Ouran Hostclub Fashion, I decided "I bet I could be a better boyfriend than all of these men!" and created a male character. My online "relationship" lasted 1-2 years
• 11yo: Had a small petty meltdown over Kim Possible ending up with Ron Stoppable. "But Shego is way prettier!" :(
• At 13-14yo, my Pa dragged me to an art-convention. One of his mates drew very realistic pin-up drawings of women -gifting me a postcard as a joke. I kept that Postcard till I moved out at 19yo.
• 14yo: First "gay panic" cause of how attracted I was to a classmate. Imagine a 14yo Marilyn Monroe, incl. the absolute photogenic qualities. Which I am simply highlighting, cause this girl could also draw and I stared at her perfect portrait every time I passed the art-wing of my school.

Anyway, these are just a few examples. Obv. there are more 14+, but obv. most assholes that spout this "oh no LGBTQ+ are groomers" rhetoric, believe that kids below 10yo+ are straight white slates till "tainted". A thing which...as you can see...is pretty bullshit.

Methuselah
To make Methuselah, the ancient monster from the MonsterVerse, strong enough to beat Godzilla, we'll need to provide him with significant power-ups that fit within the context of the MonsterVerse. Here are some realistic enhancements:

1. Size and Strength Enhancement

• Growth Spurt: Methuselah could undergo a rapid growth spurt, increasing his size and mass to match or even exceed Godzilla’s. This would give him greater physical strength and durability.
• Enhanced Musculature: By augmenting his muscle density, Methuselah's physical strength can be significantly increased, allowing him to deliver more powerful blows.

2. Armor and Durability

• Thickened Hide: Methuselah's rocky exterior can become even tougher, providing increased resistance to Godzilla's atomic breath and physical attacks.
• Regenerative Abilities: Similar to Godzilla’s regenerative powers, Methuselah could develop advanced healing abilities, allowing him to recover quickly from injuries during battle.

3. Elemental Powers

• Earth Manipulation: Methuselah could gain the ability to manipulate earth and stone, allowing him to create barriers, launch projectiles, or trap Godzilla in massive rock formations.
• Seismic Stomps: By amplifying his connection to the earth, Methuselah could generate powerful seismic waves with each stomp, destabilizing the ground and disorienting Godzilla.

4. Energy Absorption and Projection

• Absorbing Radiation: Methuselah could develop the ability to absorb and store radiation, similar to how Godzilla powers up. This would allow him to increase his energy reserves and potentially enhance his attacks.
• Energy Projection: Methuselah could channel absorbed energy into devastating energy blasts, providing him with a ranged attack option to counter Godzilla’s atomic breath.

5. Combat Abilities

• Improved Agility: By enhancing his limb articulation and muscle coordination, Methuselah could become more agile and capable of quicker movements, giving him an edge in close combat.
• Strategic Intelligence: Developing greater cognitive abilities would enable Methuselah to strategize more effectively during battles, using his environment and powers to outmaneuver Godzilla.

6. Allies and Symbiosis

• Symbiotic Relationship: Methuselah could form a symbiotic relationship with other Titans or creatures in the MonsterVerse, gaining additional abilities or support during combat. For instance, an alliance with Rodan could provide aerial support.

7. Ancient Mysticism

• Mystical Enhancements: Drawing on ancient, forgotten powers of the Earth, Methuselah could gain mystical abilities that defy conventional science, such as temporary invulnerability or summoning natural disasters like earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.

By combining these power-ups, Methuselah would become a formidable opponent capable of challenging Godzilla's dominance in the MonsterVerse. The enhancements should be balanced to maintain a realistic portrayal within the established lore of the MonsterVerse.

https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/cg1p8marcoxnt93s_igs_rep_page/
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Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
9 Years of Shadows
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
A Musical Story
Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
Craft Keep VR
Crazy Belts
Creeping Terror
Creepy Tale
Crewsaders
Crown Champion: Legends of the Arena
Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
Dead Age 2
Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
Detached: Non-VR Edition
Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
Devil's Hunt
Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
Eternity: The Last Unicorn
Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
Fury Unleashed
Gamedec
GameGuru
Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
Spooky Bonus
Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

7 Wonders: Magical Mystery Tour
7 Wonders: Treasures of Seven
12 is Better Than 6
911 Operator
A Blind Legend
Aarklash: Legacy
Acorn Assault: Rodent Revolution
Achtung! Cthulhu Tactics
Afterimage
Agatha Christie - The ABC Murders
Agent in Depth
age of wonders 3
Agents of Mayhem
Alien Spidy
AI War 2
A Juggler's Tale
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Almost There: The Platformer
ALLTYNEX Second"
Alter Army"
Akka Arrh
American Fugitive
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Ancestors Legacy
Ancient Enemy
An Elder Scrolls Legend: Battlespire
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Aragami 2
Arboria
Arcade Spirits
Arena Renovation
Armada 2526 Gold Edition
Arma X
Arx Fatalis
Ary and the Secret of Seasons
Ascension to the Throne
Ashina: The Red Witch
Astronarch
Atari Vault
Attack of the Earthlings
Attractio
Automachef
Axiom Verge
Backbone
Back 4 Blood - Only for good offers
Band of Defenders"
Banners of Ruin
Batman: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman: Arkham Origins
Battle Academy 2: Eastern Front
Battle vs Chess
BEAUTIFUL DESOLATION
Belladonna
Beyond the Long Night
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
BioShock Infinite
Biped
Bizango Blast
Backfirewall
BLACKHOLE: Complete Edition
BLADE ASSAULT
Blacksad: Under the Skin
Blitzkrieg Anthology
Blood Bowl 2
Borderlands Game of the Year Enhanced
Borderlands handsome collection
Bosorka
Bots Are Stupid
Bot Vice
Breakout: Recharged
Breathedge
Brunch Club
Broken Age
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons
Bunker Punks
Calico
Call of Cthulhu®: Dark Corners of the Earth
Call of Juarez
Caravan
Carmageddon max damage
Cats and the Other Lives
Caveblazers
Caverns of Mars: Recharged
Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga
Centipede: Recharged
Chambers of Devious Design
Chess Ultra
Chicken Assassin: Reloaded
Children of Morta
CHAOS CODE -NEW SIGN OF CATASTROPHE-
Chaos on Deponia
Chariot
Circuit Breakers
City Siege: Faction Island
Close to the Sun
Clunky Hero
Colt Canyon
Constructor Classic 1997
Convoy
Conglomerate 451
Cookie Cutter
Cook Serve Delicious
Cook Serve Delicious! 3?!
Corridor Z
Cosmic Express
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Crumble
CryoFall
CTU: Counter Terrorism Unit
Cubicle Quest
Cursed Sight
Cybarian: The Time Travelling Warrior
Darkest Dungeon
DARK FUTURE: BLOOD RED STATES
Dark Strokes The Legend of the Snow Kingdom Collectors Edition
Darkness Within 2: The Dark Lineage
Danger Scavenger
Day of Infamy
Dead Age
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Dead by daylight
Dead End Job
Deadlight: Director's Cut
Dead Island Definitive Edition
Dead Space 3 Origin key
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
DESERT CHILD
DEATHRUN TV
Death Squared
Death to Spies: Moment of Truth
Degrees of Separation
Demon Pit
DESOLATE
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Deus Ex: Invisible War
Devil Daggers
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Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition
DIG - Deep In Galaxies
Dimension Drifter
Dirt Rally 2.0 - Only for good offers
DIRT SHOWDOWN
dirt 5 - Only for good offers
Distrust
Divide By Sheep
DmC Devil May Cry
Doodle Derby
DOOM (1993)
DOOM II
DOOM 64
Dorke and Ymp
Doorways: Holy Mountains of Flesh
Double
Double Dragon IV
Doughlings Arcade
Doughlings Invasion
Draw Slasher
Dreamscaper
DreamWorks Dragons: Legends of the Nine Realms
Driftland: The Magic Revival
Drink More Glurp
Dub Dash
Duke Nukem Forever
Dungeons 3
Dust to the End
DV: Rings of Saturn
Eagle Island
Elderand
Elven Legacy Collection
Endless Fables 3: Dark Moor
Epistory - Typing Chronicles
Escape Dead Island
Escape Game Fort Boyard
Escape from Naraka
Eternal Edge +
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Etherlords I & II
Eventide 3: Legacy of Legends
Evergarden
Everhood
Exorder
eXperience 112
Explodemon
Extinction
Evoland
F1 2012 - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
f1 2019 Anniversary - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
Family Mysteries 3: Criminal Mindset
Family Mysteries: Poisonous Promises
Fantasy Blacksmith
Farabel
Farming World
Farm Frenzy: Refreshed
Figment
Final Doom
Fire
Firegirl
FIRST CLASS TROUBLE
Flashing Lights Police Fire EMS
Filthy Animals Heist Simulator
Flying Tigers: Shadows Over China - Deluxe Edition
Fractured Minds
FRAMED COLLECTION
Freaking Meatbags
Frog Detective 2: The Case of the Invisible Wizard
FRONTIERS
Frick, Inc.
For the People
Formula Carr Racing
Funk of Titans
Furious Angels
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Gamedec
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Game Dev Studio
Garbage
Gas Station Simulator
Generation Zero
GetsuFumaDen: Undying Moon
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Ghost Files 2: Memory of a Crime
Ghost Files: The Face of Guilt
Gigantosaurus: Dino Kart
Gigapocalypse
GOAT OF DUTY
God’s Trigger
Goetia
Go Home Dinosaurs
Godstrike
Going Under
Golden Light
Golfie
Golf Gang
Goodbye Deponia
Grand Mountain Adventure: Wonderlands
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grotto
Grid Ultimate Edition
Grim Legends 2: Song of the Dark Swan
Grim Legends: The Forsaken Bride
GRIP: Combat Racing
GRIP: Combat Racing - Cygon Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Nyvoss Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Terra Garage Kit
GRIP: Combat Racing - Vintek Garage Kit
Groundhog Day: Like Father Like Son
GTA VICE CITY - only for very good offers
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Gunscape
Guns & Fishes
Guns of Icarus Alliance
Hacknet
Hack 'n' Slash
Haegemonia: The Solon Heritage
Hauma - A Detective Noir Story
Headsnatchers
Hero of the Kingdom
Hero of the Kingdom III
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 1
Hero of the Kingdom: The Lost Tales 2
Heroes of the Monkey Tavern
Heroes of Hellas 3: Athens
Heroes of Hellas Origins: Part One
HEAVEN'S VAULT
Hexologic
Hidden Memory - Neko's Life
Hidden Object 6in1 bundle
Hidden Object Bundle 5 in 1
Hidden Shapes - Trick or Cats
HIVESWAP: Act 1
Hiveswap Friendsim
Hitman Absolution
Holiday Bonus GOLD
Holy Potatoes! A Weapon Shop?!
Homebrew - Patent Unknown
Homefront
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home EP2
Horizon Shift
Hospital Tycoon
How 2 Escape
Hyperdrive Massacre
Hyperspace Invaders II: Pixel Edition
I am not a Monster: First Contact
ICBM
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition
Impulsion
In Between
Innerspace
Inside My Radio
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interrogation: You will be deceived
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Into the Pit
Insurgency
In Other Waters
Iratus
Ironcast
Iron Commando - Koutetsu no Senshi
Iron Danger
Iron Lung
Iron Marines
Island Tribe
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Jalopy
Jane Angel: Templar Mystery
Jewel Match Atlantis Solitaire - Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire 2 Collector's Edition
Jewel Match Solitaire L'Amour
Jewel Match Solitaire Winterscapes
Joggernauts
Just Cause 3
Just Die Already
Just Ignore Them
Kaichu - The Kaiju Dating Sim
Kao the Kangaroo (2000 re-release)
KarmaZoo
Kerbal Space Program
Killing Floor 2
Killer is Dead - Nightmare Edition
Kitaria Fables
Kingdom Rush
King Oddball
Knight's Retreat
Knightin'+
Koala Kids
Konung 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Landlord's Super
Lamentum
Laser Disco Defenders
Last Oasis
Last Word
Lead and Gold: Gangs of the Wild West
Legend of Keepers: Career of a Dungeon Manager
Lego Marvel 2 Deluxe
LEVELHEAD
Lila’s Sky Ark
Livelock
Looking for Aliens
Looterkings
Lost Words: Beyond the Page
Lovecraft's Untold Stories + OST + Artbook
Lords and Villeins
Ludus
Lumberhill
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond - M Edition
Luxor 3
Machinika Museum
Mad Experiments: Escape Room
Mad Max
Mad Tracks
MageQuit
Magenta Horizon
Magrunner: Dark Pulse
MAIN ASSEMBLY
Mahjong
MARSUPILAMI - HOOBADVENTURE
Mask of the Rose
Mass Effect 2
Mechs & Mercs: Black Talons
Medieval Kingdom Wars
Men of War: Assault Squad - Game of the Year Edition
Men of War: Red Tide
Meow Express
Metal Unit
Metro last light redux
Metro Redux Bundle
Micro Machines World Series
Middle-earth : Shadow of Mordor Goty
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Midnight Mysteries 3: Devil on the Mississippi
Midnight Protocol
Mini Ninjas
Mini Thief
Minute of Islands
MirrorMoon EP
Mob Rule Classic
Modern Tales: Age of Invention
Moon Hunters
Monaco
Moss Destruction
MotoGP 15
MORKREDD
Mortal Kombat XL
Mortal Kombat 11 Ultimate
Mount & blade
Mr. Run and Jump
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
My Big Sister
Nadia Was Here
NEON ABYSS
Nigate Tale
Nihilumbra
Nippon Marathon
NecroWorm
Neon Chrome
Neurodeck : Psychological Deckbuilder
Neverout
NEXT JUMP: Shmup Tactics
Ninjin: Clash of Carrots
Nobodies: Murder Cleaner
Noir Chronicles: City of Crime
Noitu Love 2: Devolution
Nongunz: Doppelganger Edition
Northern Tale
Non-Stop Raiders
Now You See - A Hand Painted Horror Adventure
Old School Musical
Omen Exitio: Plague
Orbital Bullet
Orbital Racer
Oriental Empires
Orn the tiny forest sprite
Orwell: Ignorance is Strength
Outcast - Second Contact
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Out of Space
OUT OF THE BOX
Overcooked
Overloop
Overlord
Overlord: Ultimate Evil Collection
Overture
Pang Adventures
Painkiller Hell & Damnation
Paperbark
Paper Beast - Folded Edition
Paper Fire Rookie
Paper Planet
Pathfinder: Kingmaker
Paradigm
Persian Nights 2: The Moonlight Veil
Pathfinder Wrath
Pathway
Paw Patrol: On A Roll!
Paw Paw Paw
PAYDAY 2
Peachleaf Pirates
Persian Nights: Sands of Wonders
Pickers
pillars of eternity
Pill Baby
Pirate Pop Plus
Pizza Express
Pixel Heroes: Byte & Magic
PixelJunk™ Monsters Ultimate + Shooter Bundle
Pixplode
Pixross
Planet TD
Plebby Quest: The Crusades
Planet Zoo
Police Stories
Post Master
Porcunipine
portal knights
Post Void
Prehistoric Tales
Primal Carnage: Extinction
pro cycling manager 2019
Project Chemistry
Professor Lupo: Ocean
Prophecy I - The Viking Child
Pushover
qomp
Quantum Replica
Quake 2
Rage in Peace
RAIDEN V: DIRECTOR'S CUT
Raining Blobs
Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan
Railway Empire
Radio Commander
Rebel Galaxy
Rebel Galaxy Outlaw
Rebel Inc
Recon Control
Red Faction
Red Faction®: Armageddon™
Red Faction Guerrilla Re-Mars-tered
Red Line
Regency Solitaire
Regular Human Basketball
Regions of Ruin
Re-Legion
Retimed
Remnants of Naezith
Rencounter
Renfield: Bring Your Own Blood
Replica
Resident Evil 0 HD REMASTER
Resident Evil Revelations 2 Deluxe Edition
Resort Boss: Golf
Return to Mysterious Island
Reventure
REZ PLZ
Richard & Alice
Rise of Insanity
Risen
Rising Dusk
River City Girls
River City Melee Mach
ROAD 96
Road to Guangdong
Roads of Rome 3
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
Rogue Heroes: Ruins of Tasos
RRRR
RUNOUT
Rym 9000
S.W.I.N.E. HD Remaster
Safety First!
Sanitarium
Satellite Reign
Satellite Rush
Savage Lands
Save Jesus
Say No! More
Scheming Through The Zombie Apocalypse: The Beginning
ScourgeBringer
Sea Horizon
Serial Cleaner
Sentience: The Android's Tale
SEARCH PARTY: Director's Cut
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Severed Steel
Shadowrun Returns
Shadows: Awakening
Shantae: Risky's Revenge - Director's Cut
SHENMUE III
Shing!
Shooting Stars!
Shoppe Keep
SHOPPE KEEP 2
Shutter 2
Shred! 2 - ft Sam Pilgrim
Sid Meier Civilization V
Sid Meier Civilization VI
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
sim city 4
Sir Whoopass™: Immortal Death
Sky Break
SKULLY
Slain: Back from Hell
Slinger VR
Smart Factory Tycoon
Sniper Elite 4 Deluxe Edition
Songbird Symphony
SONG OF HORROR COMPLETE EDITION
sonic all stars transformed collection
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Forces
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode I
Sonic the Hedgehog 4 - Episode II
Sorry, James
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Soulflow
SPACECOM
Space Robinson: Hardcore Roguelike Actio
Sparkle 2
SpeedRunners
Spidersaurs
Spiritual Warfare & Wisdom Tree Collection
Spirit of the Isand
Splasher
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Spring Bonus
Stacking
Stalingrad
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Star Wars Knights of the old Republic 2
Star Wars The Force Unleashed
Star Wolves
star trek bridge crew
State of Decay 2: Juggernaut Edition - only for good offers
Stealth 2: A Game of Clones
Steamburg
Steel Rats
Stick it to The Man!
Stick Fight: The Game
Stikir
Stirring Abyss
Strikey Sisters
Stronghold Crusader 2
Slime-san
Strategic Mind: The Pacific
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
Styx: Master of Shadows
SWAG AND SORCERY
Sudden Strike 4
Suffer The Night
Sunlight
Summer in Mara
Superhot VR
Super 3-D Noah's Ark
Super Mutant Alien Assault
Super Panda Adventures
Super Rude Bear Resurrection
Super Star Path
SurrounDead
Survivalist: Invisible Strain
Switchball HD
Sword of the Necromancer
Syberia 3
Symmetry
Syberia 3
System Shock Enhanced Edition
Talk to Strangers
tannenberg
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
Team Sonic Racing
tekken 7
Telefrag VR
TERRACOTTA
Tesla Force
Teslagrad Remastered
Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Tharsis
The Adventure Pals
The Amazing American Circus
The Assembly
The Big Con
The Black Heart
The Coma 2: Vicious Sisters
The Crow's Eye
The Darkside Detective
The Deed
The Deed II
The Deed: Dynasty
The Dungeon Beneath
The Emerald Maiden: Symphony of Dream
The Escapists
The Fan
The Final Station
The Flame in the Flood
The Free Ones - ONLY FOR VERY GOOD OFFERS
The Horror Of Salazar House
The Inner World
The Invisible Hand
The Last Crown: Midnight Horror
The Last Tinker: City of Colors
The Long Dark: Survival Edition
The Lost Crown
The Long Reach
The Knight Witch
The Magister
The Metronomicon - The Deluxe Edition
The Myth Seekers 2: The Sunken City
The Myth Seekers: The Legacy of Vulcan
The Next Penelope
The Oil Blue: Steam Legacy Edition
The Secret Order 5: The Buried Kingdom
The Secret Order 6: Bloodline
The Secret Order 7: Shadow Breach
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf
The Spectrum Retreat
THE SWORDS OF DITTO: MORMO'S CURSEa
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia
The Town of Light
The Walking Dead: A New Frontier
The Walking Dead – Season 1
The Walking Dead: 400 Days DLC
The Walking Dead: Season Two
The Walking Dead: The Final Season
The Wild Eight
The Whispered World Special Edition
They Always Run
They Bleed Pixels
Think of the Children
This War of Mine
Through the Woods
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
Ticket to Ride
Tilt Brush
TIN CAN
Time on Frog Island
Time Loader
Time Mysteries 3: The Final Enigma
Tiny Tales: Heart of the Forest
tiny & Tall: Gleipnir
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Toejam & Earl: Back in the Groove
Toki
Tomb Raider GOTY Edition
Tom Clancy's The Division Uplay + Survival dlc
Total War: MEDIEVAL II Definitive Edition
Totally Reliable Delivery Service
Tower of Time
Total War: ROME II - Caesar in Gaul
TRUBERBROOK
Toybox Turbos
Toy Tinker Simulator
Tracks - The Train Set Game
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trine 2: Complete Story
Trine 3
Trine 4
Tropico 4
Tunche
Tumblestone
Turmoil
Tyrant's Blessing
UFO: Afterlight
Ultimate Zombie Defense
Undead Horde
UNDETECTED
Unloved
Unexplored 2: The Wayfarer's Legacy
Unhack
Unloved
Unmemory
Unto The End
Valfaris
Vambrace: Cold Soul
Vampire of the Sands
Vampire: The Masquerade – Swansong
Vampire Survivors
VANE
Vanishing Realms
Velocity Ultra
Viking Saga New World
Viking Saga The Cursed Ring
Voidship: The Long Journey
walking dead the new frontier
WARBORN
WARHAMMER 40,000: GLADIUS - RELICS OF WAR
Warpips
War Solution - Casual Math Game
Wandersong
Wargroove
war tech fighters
Wasteland 2: Director s Cut - Classic Edition
Wayout
Wayout 2: Hex
Wayward Souls
We Are Alright
When In Rome
WHERE THE WATER TASTES LIKE WINE
White Night
White Noise 2
Witch it
Without Within 3
WizardChess
World Keepers Last Resort
World Ship Simulator
Worms Blast
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Worms Revolution
Worms Rumble
Wounded - The Beginning
Verdant Skies
XBlaze Code: Embryo
X-Com 2
XEL
XLarn
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack
Xpand Rally
Yakuza Kiwami 2
Yakuza 3 Remastered
Yesterday Origins"
Yet Another Zombie Defense HD
Yoku's Island Express
Yono and the Celestial Elephants
Yooka-Laylee
Zarya-1: Mystery on the Moon
Zombie Derby 2
Zombie Night Terror

Demographics Gender: Female Race/Ethnicity: Asian-American Residence: Midwest, suburb Income Bracket: 40k Type of School: Average public school (850 students) Hooks (Recruited Athlete, URM, First-Gen, Geographic, Legacy, etc.): First-Gen Intended Major(s): Computer Science and Math Double Major
Academics GPA (UW/W): 3.0/4.5
Rank (or percentile): School Doesn't Rank But was in the 30s out of 850
APs: 10 APs (World History, CS Principles, US History, CS A, Micro, Gov, Stats, Seminar, Research, Calc BC)
Senior Year Course Load: AP Calc BC, 2 PLTW Engineering Classes (Honors Weighted), AP Research, Drawing 3, and Software Development Capstone (Honors Weighted)
Standardized Testing ACT: 34 Sat: AP Scores: World-5, Principles-5, US-4, CSA-5, Stats-3, Seminar-5, Lang-2
Extracurriculars/Activities Robotics Club/Team Captain: Officer(9-10) Captain(11-12), Falcon BEST 3rd Place and Exhibition Team Leader. In house competition 4 year winner for multiple events
Math Team: Officer(10-12), planned meetings, competitions, and promoted the club for new members. Led team to win Franklin University Number Crunchers, Rose-Hulman Runner-Up, and University of Indianapolis 1st place team
Internship/Mentorship: Interned at local tech lab after sophomore year when I created an amateur Python cybersecurity library. Was a part of a mentorship program after my junior year when I worked alongside multiple tech companies (SEP, High Alpha, etc.)
Personal Blog/Portfolio: Created an interactive website using React and Three.js. Was mentioned in a high school science magazine for it. Used it to show off my accomplishments and make blog posts about dumb stuff.
Varsity Esports Team: 10th grade, semifinalists in Halo Infinite. Gold Rank in Halo and Apex, run a Stardew Valley farm where I created a shared a template for crop and resource tracking. I also have a better Animal Crossing Island than you :)
Co-authored a research paper or the comparative times of multiple encryption algorithms alongside my CS teacher whose Purdue Alumni. In academic revision and in the process of being published to JEI
Science Olympiad: Manager (10-12) didn't really do anything because the president and his friends hated me >:( Did however get $20,000 in sponsorship money from multiple companies
Taekwondo: Captain (8-12) got my ass kicked every other day by kids half my age. But I got my black belt
Speech and Debate: (11-12) Joined because guys/girls in suits. Did OO, IX, and Policy. Wasn't good enough to go to nationals but did clutch multiples firsts in other competitions.
Meme Page: Made a Meme Page... pls follow(vroomvroom.zip)
Awards/Honors
Letters of Recommendation
English Teacher (10/10): Known her since Junior year, and she LOVED me. She also has a large vocabulary and knows how to make me seem better. She wrote multiple for other scholarships, and I read those over. Absolute masterpieces.
CS Teacher (7/10): Known him since sophomore year, and he also loves me. Yet, his vocab is a lot smaller. Still love him tho
Engineering Teacher (8/10): He hates me now, but he pretty much carried me.
Counselor Rec (idk): it's a counselor rec.
Interviews UPenn: Bro, the interviewer was so hot... didn't remember anything else.
Essays
Common App: By far the best essay I wrote. It was a timeline/analysis of my thoughts on religion
Supplements: Struggled to write the scholarship essays... Everything else was fine
Decisions Acceptances:
Indiana Univeristy - Accepted, Honors College
Purdue - Accepted, COMMITTED, Full-Ride
Caltech - Rejected
Carniege - Rejected :(
Cornell - Rejected
Dartmouth - Rejected
Duke - Waitlisted -> Accepted
Harvard - Rejected
Princeton - Rejected
Rice - Rejected
Stanford - Rejected
UPenn - Rejected
USC - Deffered -> Accepted
Vanderbilt - Accepeted
WashU - Rejected
Yale - Rejected
UIUC - Rejected
UChicago - Rejected

I sit alone in my room on the seventh floor, writing what will surely be my last will and testament. The heroin which allowed me to forget and to sleep for the last couple of years has lost its power to keep the screaming terrors away. The drug destroyed my body and mind, gradually eating away at them like a corrosive acid. Now I have become a slave to it. And yet, without it, I do not sleep for weeks, but instead continuously see the scenes from that terrible night running through my head on repeat as worsening waves of madness crash on the shores of my consciousness.
In the caverns under the town of Frost Hollow, I found the meaning of true madness. Ever since I escaped that den of horrors, it is difficult to tell what is real and what is only the feverish delirium of an unhinged mind.
Even now, they wait behind the door to this cheap, bare rented room. They drag their claws over the wood. I hear them hissing in that strange, ancient tongue, the one I first heard in the tombs of rock that had been undisturbed for countless millennia.
***
I had first heard rumors of an unexplored cavern from my friend, an experienced caver named Sonia who had explored caverns all over the world. I had been looking for some excitement in my life, some break from the constant monotony and boredom of simply working and sleeping. I had gone caving quite a few times over the year leading up to the trip, but I was not nearly as experienced and had never explored a supposedly virgin passageway of cavern before.
“How do you know no one’s gone down there?” I asked, curious. We sat across from each other at a local diner, getting some early breakfast before our planned descent. The sunrise was still another half-hour away, the sky flat and dark. We would be joined by Sonia’s husband, Phil, who would meet us there shortly after sunrise. I repressed an urge to yawn, chugging half of the steaming hot coffee in one long swallow. Sonia leaned close to me, her nearly colorless blue eyes reminding me of chunks of ice floating down a muddy stream.
“Phil’s friend just found it randomly,” she whispered before glancing around conspiratorially, as if she feared someone would care enough to eavesdrop on a conversation about a cave. “Well, it’s in the middle of a farm, and Phil’s friend, Jack Graysole, owns the entire property and surrounding woods. Jack says he noticed the cows kept going over to a certain spot in the field when it got really hot during the summertime. They would all gather around this little indentation in the grass. After seeing it a few times, Jack got curious and went to investigate what the cows were doing.
“He found a small hole in the ground, almost entirely covered by weeds and grass. He said he felt a cool breeze constantly blowing out of the hole, a breeze that smelled like burning matches and charred metal. After bringing out some shovels and digging down a couple feet, Jack realized that the hole wasn’t a hole at all, but the beginning of a steep passageway leading deep into the bowels of the earth.”
***
The owner of the land decided to unofficially call the newly-discovered cavern Graysole Caverns. Out of respect for him, this is also the name we all used. This is the story of how I found myself in the bowels of a strange subterranean tunnel, a tunnel where creatures beyond my comprehension slunk and hunted, skittering monstrosities who would be more at home in a nightmare.
After grabbing a couple coffees to take with us, Sonia drove over to Graysole Farms. Cows stood out in the grassy fields, huddled in tight circles as they repetitively chewed. The thin silhouette of Jack Graysole waited for us next to the herd. He had a face like a raisin, I thought to myself. I watched his thin, shaking body standing in the middle of an overgrown grassy field. Jack stared down blankly at something only he could see. Sonia and I started unloading some equipment from the car while we waited for Phil.
Once we had the backpacks loaded with some simple supplies, such as water, food, headlamps, rope, a couple extra batteries, some buck knives, and radios, we headed over to accompany Jack. We weren’t taking much, as we didn’t really expect to be down there for more than six or seven hours at the most.
Jack Graysole’s withered old face was as slack and expressionless as that of a corpse. He stared down at the ground as if he were in a trance, waving back and forth slowly on his feet like a plant in a light breeze.
“Jack?” Sonia called out as we approached. I could hear the man’s teeth chattering as we got nearer.
“Hey, what are you doing over here this early? You interested in accompanying us down there?” Sonia joked. But Jack might as well have been totally deaf for all the reaction he gave. Sonia glanced over at me with an anxious expression. I wondered if the old man was having a stroke.
I quickly walked over to where he stood, staring down at a black circular hole about three feet across directly in front of his feet. The entrance to Graysole Caverns stared up at us like a sightless pupil. As I drew within a few feet of Jack and looked straight into his blank eyes, I noticed something alarming.
His pupils were quickly dilating and constricting before my eyes. They would shrink to tiny pinpoints, then, a couple seconds later, rapidly expand until they became dark and serious. I could see his thready, rapid heartbeat pulsating in a vein on the side of his temple. Alarmed, I reached forward and put my hand on his shoulder.
Instantly, he came to life, like a man waking up from a nightmare. Shrieking, he looked at me with fully dilated pupils, reminding me of a panicked deer surrounded by wolves. His quavering old man’s voice shook with ineffable existential horror and mortal fear.
He took a step back away from us, seeming to realize where he was and what he was doing. He looked around, confused, then straight at me and Sonia. His eyes focused with anger and fear, as if we were demons here to drag him down to Hell. His eyes flicked back and forth between us constantly. Jack raised a trembling hand and pointed it straight at my heart.
“It’s you,” he said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. His teeth chattered despite the warm spring air. His skin looked deathly pale. “You’re the one who will bring an end to humanity, who will release the ruler of nightmares upon us.” He continued to point accusingly for a long moment at me, his face turning chalk-white. Then his eyes rolled up in his head. Slowly, he stumbled and fell backwards onto the soft grass of the field.
“Jack!” Sonia cried, running over to the old man. Jack’s breaths had started to come in slow, drawn-out gurgles, like a man with a slit throat trying to breathe. Frothy blood bubbled from his lips as they turned blue. Staring up at the endless expanse of cloudless sky, he exhaled one last shuddering breath and died.
***
Phil showed up only a couple minutes later. He found me and Sonia in a state of utter panic, both of us bent double over the still body of Jack. Sonia was on the phone with 911, and I was trying to give Jack chest compressions. The way his fingernails and lips shone with that cyanotic blue cast made me feel sick and weak. I knew it was futile, that I was simply playing with a corpse at this point, but I didn’t know what else to do. I felt if I didn’t do something, I might explode.
I heard the faint wailing of sirens approaching as Sonia’s panicked voice continued babbling to the 911 operator. Phil stood by her side, his tall, dark features searching and lost.
“Oh God, I think he’s dead!” Sonia cried over and over to the operator, as if she thought the operator could do anything about it. I didn’t hear what the operator said in response. As the ambulance pulled in, I gave up on chest compressions. I stood up and took a step back, looking sadly down on the kindly old man’s dead body.
The paramedics ran over. Phil, Sonia and I stood back while they worked on the corpse, trying to shock the heart back into life. But Jack’s open eyes stayed glazed as they stared sightlessly up into eternity.
***
The paramedics left. A couple police officers stayed behind to ask us a few routine questions. Eventually, after an hour or so, they left, too.
“What a fucked-up day,” Phil said, shaking his head grimly. “Do you guys still want to do this? Maybe it’s an omen from God telling us to go home.” Sonia and I exchanged a glance, then we both nodded at the same time.
“Definitely,” she said. “It’s sad what happened to Jack, but realistically, we don’t know what’s going to happen to this property now that he’s passed away. It might get sold or taken by the bank for all we know. This could be our one and only chance to explore this cave.”
“I don’t believe in omens. I’m still down,” I said, feeling slightly sick from the experience. I still remembered how Jack’s body had cracked under the weight of my chest compressions, how his ribs had snapped like bones shattering in greedy hands. “We’ll do it in memory of Jack. I plan to put this up on YouTube.” I pulled my GoPro out of my bag, turning it on. Phil groaned at that.
“Do we have any idea how far down this cave goes?” Phil asked. I felt a sense of relief now that the topic had changed from the death of the old man.
“I sent a little camera down on a rope, but it only went about a hundred feet,” Sonia responded. “It’s pretty steep at first, then it levels out. I couldn’t really see much after it leveled out, but it looks like it should be easy to climb down. There’s plenty of handholds, lots of jutting rocks.”
Phil put on his headlamp and small pack. As he crawled down into the hole, his tanned face looked up at us and gave us one last devilish grin. Once he had gone down a few dozen feet, Sonia started descending. She looked excited and happy. I noticed how she couldn’t stop smiling as she disappeared from view.
I watched their lights grow smaller and dimmer in the circular tunnel. I marveled at how perfectly circular the entrance was. It almost didn’t even look natural.
Taking a deep breath in, I followed my friends down into the dark.
***
“This isn’t too bad,” I said as I climbed down. The jutting rocks gave plenty of handholds and footholds for us. It wasn’t so tight that it felt like a coffin, either.
“It only gets easier from here!” Sonia called up.
“How do you know?” I asked. “You said you’ve never been here before.” She laughed.
“I know. Probably just wishful thinking,” she said. Far below us, Jack’s voice drifted up, faint and weak. He had already reached the bottom.
“The tunnel really opens up down here, guys,” he called. “It’s somewhat… bizarre, though.”
“What do you mean by that?” Sonia asked. I looked down, seeing Sonia and I would reach the bottom in seconds. “Forget it, I’ll let it be a surprise.” I heard her drop down. Slowly and carefully, I lowered myself down the last few feet. There was a short fall onto a smooth granite floor. I looked up, seeing what Phil and Sonia were so mesmerized by.
“Oh, wow,” I said, speechless. I blinked rapidly, wondering if the image would clear like a mirage. The tunnel was cut into a perfectly triangular shape, each side about seven feet long. The ceiling met in a point above our heads.
All along the smooth walls of gray rock, I saw thousands of black orbs peeking out. They looked similar to obsidian, but they were perfectly smooth and circular, each about the size of an orange. They were formed into interlocking diagonal patterns and followed the tunnel straight down as far as the eye could see.
“What is this place?” Sonia asked, taking a tentative step forward. I looked up, seeing the distant pinpoint of sunlight far above our heads. Our voices continued to echo off down the massive tunnels, disappearing in eerie waves into the thick curtain of shadows.
“Are you recording all this?” Phil asked me. I laughed, giddy.
“Of course! This is internet gold right here,” I said. “No one’s going to believe that this isn’t man-made, however. I can’t even believe it. Do you think Jack was playing a joke on us or something?”
“Jack had the sense of humor of a wet paper towel,” Phil whispered, shaking his head. “No, he wouldn’t do something like this.”
“Well, let’s go check it out,” Sonia said, taking a step forward. Her headlamp bobbed up and down rapidly, throwing dancing shadows through the triangular tunnel. It continued straight ahead, without the slightest deviation or curve, disappearing off into a dark point in the distance.
***
We walked as fast as we could, excited to see where, if anywhere, the strange tunnel led. Phil, always the conspiracy theorist, babbled excitedly.
“This has to be aliens, man,” he said, running his fingers through his dark hair. “I bet that scientists will find out this shit is millions of years old when we get back up and tell everyone. Maybe aliens came to earth in ancient times and made a bunch of stuff underground.” Gradually, as we walked, I noticed the tunnel opening up. The pointed triangular ceiling rose up higher above our heads and the walls moved outwards, as we were walking up a triangular funnel. At first, it was so subtle that I didn’t believe it when Sonia pointed it out.
“No, look,” she said, raising her hand above her head. “When we first started down this weird tunnel, my fingers were only maybe a foot away from the top. Now it’s a couple feet.” I was about to respond when our headlamps illuminated something standing in the middle of the tunnel.
“What the fuck is that?” I whispered, stopping cold in my tracks. Phil and Sonia looked up at the abomination at the same time. Its back was to us. It stood nearly as tall as the tunnel, which was now about twenty feet high.
The bottom half looked black and spidery with dozens of long, jointed legs. A bloody, white spine rose out of the mass of legs. Inhumanly long, skeletal arms stretched out in front of it. Its face was pointed away from us, but the back of its head resembled an enormous pointed skull with deep fissures like the cracks of an earthquake running through the bone. The abomination stayed as still as a statue, and for a long moment, I wondered if we were looking at some macabre work of art.
Then, suddenly, one of its insectile legs twitched. A moment later, the other legs started jerking and twisting. There was a sound like bones shattering as it rose up to its full height, turning around to face us.
Its face was like something from a nightmare, melting and reforming constantly like dripping candle wax. I would see a black eye appear on its forehead, then a grinning mouth on its chin, then the features would get sucked back into the folds of melting flesh. After a few moments, two enormous eyes appeared on its face, dark and cold like craters on the surface of the Moon. The mouths and noses disappeared back into the dripping skin, and only the two lidless eyes remained, emanating a cold, reptilian consciousness beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend. I felt terror radiating from its body like freezing waves.
“Free me,” it cried in a gurgling voice that seethed with insanity. It had a shrieking, metallic ringing behind every word that gave it an alien quality. “Free me, and I will give you the waters of eternal life. Within me, I contain the seeds of immortality. Within the nightmares, we live forever, always together, never alone.”
“Who are you?” I asked, terrified. The black reptilian skin of the enormous beast glistened as it knelt down, its massive face drawing near to mine. A sideways mouth burst out of the liquified flesh, showing hundreds of fangs growing like tumors from its white, bloodless gums. The fangs varied in size from only a couple inches to long, sword-like projections that stabbed into the creature’s flesh, causing white blood glittering with rainbows to fall like raindrops all around me.
“I have many names,” it hissed, its thousand voices rising and falling in crashing waves of sound. “I was present at the beginning, when this planet was no more than dead cliffs and endless freezing oceans. Those holy ones who search for us, the ancient ones, call me Niralahoth.”
“How do we free you?” Phil asked, looking terrified. He held Sonia’s hand tightly.
“By letting me into your mind and body,” Niralahoth cried, shaking the cavern. “I was thrown down here, cursed and forgotten. I cannot leave this place of shadows within this body. But in the body of another, my consciousness can be free, and the seeds of new life can spread beyond this prison.”
“There’s no way anyone’s going to do that,” I said, my eyes widening as Niralahoth’s reptilian skull turned towards me in fury. “I mean, you’re asking one of us to give up our individuality, our lives, right?”
“I am asking you to become one with me and gain power undreamt of by mortals,” it cried. “I have within me the fountain of life, the waters that send death away screaming.” I glanced anxiously at Phil and Sonia, wondering if we would have to run.
“The answer is no,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we can’t do that,” Phil said, backing me up. “But, anyways, I think our trip has ended. It’s time to turn around…”
“You will never return,” Niralahoth cried, skittering away from us. “If you will not accept salvation, then you must accept death.” Within seconds, it slunk away from us, backpedaling on its many skittering legs into the shadows.
***
All around us, a rumbling started.
There was a pounding that crashed through the rock tunnel, as if an insane blacksmith were hammering on a massive anvil. The ringing of crashing rock started off slowly, with a few stones smashing down around us with heavy blasts of sound. Within seconds, the cacophony sped up, rising into a constant stream of destruction. The black orbs were spinning in place all up and down the tunnel, their glossy obsidian surfaces flashing with sparks of blue light.
“It’s collapsing!” Phil cried, running back in the direction we came, holding Sonia’s hand as she tried to keep up with him. I could only stare for a long moment, not sure what to do. It seemed that the direction Phil was heading stood closer to total collapse.
“Wait!” I cried, but my voice was drowned out in the destruction all around us. I felt a rock smash into my shoulder, sending me down to my feet. I heard Phil give a scream of pain, then another stone came down and smashed into my forehead. I remember seeing everything spinning around me as the world went black.
***
I awoke to find my headlamp still shining straight up in the dusty tunnel. Large chunks of the tunnel had slid out of place and crashed to the stone floor. The granite chunks that had fallen looked unnaturally smooth, most of them in the shapes of cylinders or cubes and varying in size from that of an egg to that of a small car.
My head throbbed. It felt as if a tight belt of fire were wrapped around my temples. Groaning, I put my fingers up to my forehead. They came away slick with blood.
Slowly, I started pushing myself up on my feet. I was relieved that nothing seemed broken. I had a deep gash running from the center of my scalp down to my left temple and some shallower cuts on my shoulders and back, but I knew none of that was life-threatening.
“Sonia?” I whispered, my voice coming out weak and strained. I reached into my pack and found a bottle of water. I chugged it quickly in one long swallow.
“Phil?” I cried again, this time stronger. I heard a soft weeping nearby. Staggering, I followed the sound.
Sonia was bloody and covered in cuts and scrapes, sitting next to Phil’s prone form. I saw Phil’s right arm pinned under a massive slab of granite. His arm disappeared from the elbow down in a spreading puddle of thick, dark blood.
“Oh God, Max, I think he’s hurt really bad,” she wept. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly in his head, his face pale and bloodless. I looked down the way we had come, seeing the entire tunnel blocked by large slabs of stone, many with strange, black orbs peeking out like the lenses of cameras.
***
I don’t know how much time passed. My phone died after a day, and then we were counting the endless darkness in breaths and tears.
Phil swam in and out of consciousness as his arm putrefied and blackened around the crush site. After a couple days, Sonia and I agreed that something had to be done. We told Phil we would need to amputate his arm. He was half-delirious, but he came back long enough to understand us and nod weakly.
We made a fire with Phil’s pack, trying to find fuel to throw in it to get it roaring. As it grew, I saw one of the black orbs near the flames abruptly ignite, as if it had been covered in gasoline. Blue, almost colorless flames rose from its surface. We started throwing the small black orbs on the fire until it rose high in the air. I sanitized the buck knife with the flames and pulled a rope tourniquet tight around Phil’s arm. He was conscious but seemingly insane, talking to himself more than anyone else.
“How are we going to get the car started without a key?” he gurgled to someone only he could see. “We need to look around. It has to be here somewhere.”
“Phil, can you hear me, bud? We need to fix your arm. We need to get you out of this mess. OK?” I said as comfortingly as I could. Phil’s eyes rolled wildly, but they didn’t meet my own. I sighed and looked over at Sonia.
“Let’s do it,” I said, giving a grim nod.
I pulled the buck knife out, slicing quickly down through the flesh next to the tourniquet. His veins throbbed like fat worms as the blackened, necrotic skin split easily under the blade, releasing a rancid-smelling gas that hissed out of the wound.
I couldn’t believe how hard it was to slice all the way through the arm. It felt like I was stuck in that hellish task forever. Phil’s eyes rolled in his head as his skin turned the color of clotted milk.
“God, Jesus, make it stop,” Phil whispered over and over, exhaling ragged, pain-filled breaths. The blood spurted from the blackened, dying tissue all over the dust-covered cavern floor, covering my hands in its warm, slick embrace.
After what was probably only three or four minutes, but felt like hours, I had sliced all the way down to the bone. The infected tissue of his arm spurted great gouts of orange pus mixed with rivulets of blood. The hard part was over.
Standing up, I took my steel-toe sneaker and stomped down on his arm as hard as I could. Phil cried out in a powerful voice, as if all the agony and suffering in the world was contained in that one shriek. The bone snapped under my weight with a sound like a tree branch cracking. A moment later, Phil rolled away from the rock that had pinned me in place for so long. Something alien and spongy was shoved into my face, a mass of destroyed red tissue pulsating in time with a runaway heartbeat. At first, shell-shocked and revolted, my mind couldn’t comprehend that I was looking at the stump of Phil’s mutilated arm. I hardened my heart and forced the giddiness and madness to the back of my mind. The time had come to cauterize the wound.
“Sonia, give it to me,” I said with a tremor in my voice. I reached out a hand towards her, a hand stained with Phil’s blood. It looked as if I were wearing a wet, crimson glove. Sonia only stared blankly at me for a long moment, however. A surge of anger ran up my chest.
“Sonia, toughen the fuck up! He’s going to die if you just sit there!” I swore at her, hearing my deep, angry voice bounce around the caverns. Sonia pulled back, as if she were struck. Inwardly, I cursed having a woman as my only able-bodied companion in this situation. She was a competent enough caver, but what would happen if violence and blood came over us? What would happen if, or more realistically when, we needed to fight?
Grimly, Sonia leaned forward and yanked the burning black orb out of the roaring fire, handing it to me on the end of a buck knife that had just barely pierced its hard, strange exterior. The handle of the knife felt coarse and splintery under my filthy skin. I put it to the spongy stump of Phil’s arm. The stump twitched violently. Phil tried to pull away as black smoke rose from the burning flesh.
There was a smell like bacon sizzling. The searing meat of Phil’s arm blackened and crisped under the heat of the orb, which had become no more than a cylinder of glowing blue embers by this point. I felt simultaneously sick and giddy. I didn’t know if I wanted to laugh or vomit. I felt like I was on the verge of some kind of madness, that the stress and insanity of the experience had started to shatter my mind.
His eyes rolled back in his head and he appeared to go into a seizure for a few seconds. With a long exhalation of breath, he finally, mercifully, lost consciousness. It’s hard to admit it, even this close to the end, but a small, sick piece of me was jealous of Phil. Most likely, he would be dead soon, maybe within hours, while Sonia and I would slowly starve and dehydrate like animals over a period of weeks. I looked at her lithe body and soft skin, seeing the feminine curves of her hips and chest. She was a beautiful woman. I knew Phil to be a lucky man. At least, before this trip, he was.
I watched her body, wondering if I had what it took to eat her or Phil if I had to. Did I have an iron heart that would allow me to slice into my friends and consume their raw, cold flesh? Perhaps, by that point, it would be hunger and madness driving me forward, and I wouldn’t even hesitate. I shuddered at the very thought.
***
I fell asleep that night, having strange dreams of massive gods with melting faces sitting in judgment in a circle around me. We had very little food or water left. No one knew we were down here. Rescue was not coming.
When I awoke, I found myself alone. Phil had died from his injuries while I slept, the black streaks of septic shock spreading up his arm towards his heart. His eyes stared sightlessly up at the rock ceiling.
“Sonia?” I called out, my heart racing as I sat up. “Where are you?” My headlamp was growing dim. I looked in my pack, realizing I was on the last of my batteries. I saw a silhouette walking out of the darkness, the thin, pale form of Sonia. She was trembling badly.
“I saw them,” she said. “Niralahoth and its priests. The priests aren’t human. They look reptilian with sideways mouths and too many eyes.” She shuddered.
“Why would you do that?” I asked. Her eyes grew distant.
“You know we’re not getting out of here alive,” she said. “Not on our own. I wanted to see what it offered. It says that if we take a piece of its nightmare into us, we will gain the power to leave this place, that it simply wants to see the surface and spread its nightmares there.” I shook my head.
“Insanity,” I muttered. “We’d be better off dead.” Sonia nodded.
“My thoughts exactly,” she responded grimly. I didn’t realize what she meant until the next day, when I woke up and found her hanging next to Phil’s body, her tongue swollen and blue as it poked out of her cyanotic lips. And then I was truly alone.
***
Soon after Sonia committed suicide, the last of the batteries for the headlamp died. I had run out of food and had only a small sip of water left. I don’t know how much time passed in the darkness, starving and raving, following the tunnel by running my hands over the walls. I heard many things skittering in the darkness, and a few times, I heard the demonic voice of Niralahoth as it split and distorted.
“You are on death’s door,” it hissed. “Will you not drink from the fountain of life?” I couldn’t tell where the voice came from in the maddening blackness. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. I had lost nearly all of my sanity in that pit of shadows by this point. I tried laughing constantly to keep my spirits up, and when that failed, I simply cried.
“I’ll do it,” I wailed. “I’ll do it. Just let me see the sky again. Get me out of here, Niralahoth.” Everything went deathly silent all around me, then a laugh rang out like the grinding of glass.
In front of me, I saw a tornado of fire descending from the ceiling, surrounding the massive, spidery form of Niralahoth. It rose its skeletal arms upwards, as if it were Zeus calling down lightning. In the sudden brightness, I saw the fiery form of snakes slithering and centipedes skittering forwards in that tornado, each massive creature sculpted from flames in the spinning cyclone of energy. Niralahoth reached into the tornado of fire with its sharp points of fingers and plucked something small from it. The fire instantly dissipated. In its hand, I saw a tiny, swirling orb that looked like it contained a firestorm within it.
“The nightmare seed,” Niralahoth gurgled as it skittered forward towards me. I could only stare, open-mouthed and starving. I hadn’t slept for days, it felt like, and everything seemed slow and unreal.
In a blur, its skeletal arm shot out and forced the orb into my mouth. Despite the fire raging within it, it felt freezing cold. As it touched my tongue, it gave off a sensation like frostbite all throughout my mouth. I screamed and tried spitting it out, but it seemed to have a mind of its own. It started liquifying, dripping down my throat.
I felt something cancerous and sick spreading throughout my body, radiating out from my heart and stomach to every inch of it. I tried to scream, but it caught behind my teeth. I fell to my knees, clawing at my face as that insane, alien laugh continued resounding all down the tunnel. I fell unconscious and woke up under a beautiful sky in the fields of Graysole Farms.
***
Soon after, I realized that my life would never be the same. Everywhere I went, I could hear the wailing voice of Niralahoth. Behind the trees, I always saw skittering shadows, creatures with long, spidery legs that stalked me every day and night. I slept with every light in the house turned on, yet when I woke up, they would all be shut off, and I would find myself in darkness, next to something in the bed with far too many legs and a face that dripped like burning wax.
I sold everything I owned and tried to move far away, to give as much distance between myself and those cursed caverns as I could, but the nightmares followed me like a shadow. I realize what a fool I was in those ephemeral moments of madness. Sonia was much wiser than myself; I should have killed myself or died rather than allowing that thing inside of me.
Even now, I can feel it creeping through my heart, spreading through my blood. I feel it trying to crawl its way out of my throat, the thin, black legs peeking out at the back of my esophagus.
I only hope that, when I finally jump and feel my bones shatter against the concrete far below, I will kill whatever is inside of me. For I fear the consequences for the world if it were to escape.

[Part 1]
Day 3
I woke the next morning from the sunshine in my eyes. My head was resting ever so slightly on Eli's arm as we had both fallen asleep on my bed after I begged him to stay. I blanched in horror at the drool stain I had left on the arm of his white t-shirt.
I began to slowly move myself and retreat downstairs as the memories of the night before came flooding back. How I had broken, screaming in terror, and how Eli had saved me, not knowing the true reason he found me curled up on the floor crying.
As I stepped off the bed, my leg got snagged in the frilly bed cover, and I went crashing to the ground, making quite the noise as I landed. With a yawn, Eli's eyes opened, and I felt myself blushing as he turned to look at me.
We both kind of stared at each other for a moment, not speaking. Eli opened his mouth, then closed it again as if unsure of what to say.
"Coffee?" I asked quickly, filling the awkwardness of our situation.
"Please," Eli said, smiling.
In minutes, I had a pot brewing as I leaned against the kitchen counter. Eli was picking up the scattered photographs from the floor and looking at them quizzically.
"Why do you have pictures of the Harmons?" Eli asked, showing me the photos of the yellow-haired man and his family.
"Is that their names? I found them out in the barn under a blanket," I answered as I rooted around the cupboards for two mugs.
"In the barn? I cleaned it out just last week. No way I would have missed this trunk," Eli said while examining the wooden trunk with its simple rustic hinges. It was plain and unadorned with any embellishments. Basic as basic could be.
"Well, you must have missed it because it was there," I said, putting emphasis on the "was" in a way that reminded me of my mother chastising my father.
"That's so weird," he said, shifting through the photos while sitting at the table. I brought him a cup of coffee and sugar, and he began absentmindedly adding a lot of sugar to his coffee. About six scoops later, he began stirring and sipping it.
"Well, anyways, thanks for coming last night. I wasn't myself, I hope you know that I'm not some damsel in distress," I said quickly, like word vomit, and I even chuckled at the end, feeling like a total weirdo.
"What happened anyway? You didn't say last night," he said, putting the photos down in a jumble on the table.
I paused for a moment, considering how to answer. As I sipped my coffee, I stared out into the yard beside the barn where the scarecrow stood, glancing around the edge of the barn, hanging limply in his hole. His appearance once again sad and dejected instead of murderous and terrifying.
"I was just scared, I had a nightmare, and it just scared me," I said dumbly, trying not to turn crimson again under his intense gaze.
His eyes seemed to cut right through my lie, as if he were staring directly into my being before he simply glanced away out the window. We fell silent again, and I filled some moments by sipping my drink. It seemed to revitalize me; the sun and the company made me feel secure.
"Why were you here anyways?" I asked after a moment.
"I heard screaming, so I came running. I live just on the other side of the grass there, behind the barn," Eli said, pointing to the barn out the window.
"Must be really close, I didn't see any houses on the way in," I said, prying deeper into the situation.
"It's actually a trailer, maybe like two hundred yards from here. I was outside getting some air when I heard you scream. So, I came running," Eli said, finishing his cup of coffee and placing it in between us like a barrier, as if he was hiding something.
"Could you, uh, not do that?" Eli asked, with an uncertain grin on his face.
"What am I doing exactly?" I asked, startled for a moment, my stomach doing a sort of flip.
"It's just that you like stare at people. You've been staring at me for like my whole cup of coffee, I don't think you blinked the whole time," Eli said, averting his eyes shyly.
"No, I don't," I said until I realized he was right. I never noticed that about myself.
"Right, well, I've got to go. I am probably going to start painting today, so you might see me in a bit," Eli said, rising and heading to the door.
"Wait," I said, grabbing his arm for only a moment before releasing it like it was scalding hot.
Eli glanced at my hand for a moment, then at his arm, before he, too, blushed crimson.
"I just wanted to say thank you again. For last night, I mean. Well, what I mean is I appreciate it," I said, my eyes downcast in, for some reason, shame. Like he had seen me at my weakest and it weighed on my gaze appropriately.
"It was nothing, besides I didn't get much sleep with your constant snoring," Eli said, laughing at me.
"I so don't snore," I said, swatting at him but unable to control a smile creeping up onto my face.
After Eli left, I felt instantly colder, my eyes kept returning to the scarecrow. I grabbed my camera from upstairs and went out to the yard. I scanned the dirt for anything out of the ordinary. There was no blood, or anything on the dirt where the scarecrow stood just last night. I slowly made my way to the scarecrow, but nothing happened. I snapped a photo of the inanimate object, and it didn't even flinch. I poked it, but all I felt was straw underneath its clothes. I removed its mask, expecting a severed head, but it was just straw. Nothing was here but straw. I dropped the mask on the ground and took another photo proving it was just straw and nothing else.
An idea struck me as I regarded the source of my torment. If I planned to stay even one more night here, I needed to do something about this scarecrow. I rooted around in the barn, a series of tools hung from nails in the wall. On one hung what I was searching for. An old rusted shovel with a dirty wooden handle that was worn smooth from use.
I returned to the side of the barn beside the scarecrow, knowing for whatever reason this thing only came when night fell and didn't react at all when I moved or touched it during the day.
Before my morning coffee had even settled, I began to dig at the dusty earth, loose and easy to dig, it came away in shovelfuls. Within an hour, I had a fair-sized hole in front of me. Sweat dripped from my brow, and when I wiped under my eyes, they came away black from last night's makeup. Glancing at the field of grass and knowing Eli could appear at any time, I decided to head inside and shower. The hot water was a godsend, and I lingered for longer, letting the water drain down my head and back, my eyes closed, trying to forget the images from the last two nights. I should just pack up my car and leave right this minute. But how could I explain this to my family? I decided to go through with my plan and bury the scarecrow. I could last one more night if I prepared for it.
I left the shower and dressed modestly, in another one of my old rock t-shirts and a pair of shorts. I returned to the yard and with a satisfying push, I dropped the scarecrow into the pit. It fell with a nice thud, and I smiled at my power over it in the day; it's just at night when I should fear it.
As I threw the first shovel of dirt back on top, I heard a noise in the grass, and it parted, revealing Eli wearing the same pair of jeans and work boots, but he had changed his shirt to a plain black one. In each hand, he held cans of paint and a brush.
"Should I even ask why you are burying that old scarecrow?" He asked as he came to stand beside me.
"Probably best if you didn't," I admitted, leaning on the shovel.
"Well, I'm going to anyway. Polly, why are you burying that old scarecrow?" He asked, a rare smile coming to his face.
"Because it's been haunting me at night," I said bluntly.
"Mhm, yeah, okay. Fine, don't tell me. I've been meaning to get rid of it anyway, but normal people take things to the landfill," Eli said with a smirk as he turned to the house and began setting up for his painting.
I finished burying the scarecrow and stomped the dirt down flat. I finished my job by moving my car and parking it directly over top of the spot where I buried it.
Eli watched me curiously but didn't remark. I returned the shovel to the barn and went out into the yard. I decided to go for a hike around the property. I needed some time alone to think and unwind.
As I made my way through the grass, it began to confuse me. This had obviously been a large farmland, but how had the wild plants grown in such a thick, endless maze of greenery?
It gave me an eerie feeling, like I was being watched as the grass covered three-quarters of my body, like there would be something lurking out in the grass, crouched low, waiting for me.
After a half-hour or so, I came upon a clear lake, only big enough to be considered an old swimming hole, I thought as I dipped my hand into the cool water.
I took off my outer clothes and decided to go for a swim. I lowered myself in slowly and reveled at the cool water. The pond wasn't deep, but the water was clean. A small rope swing had been hung from a large oak tree that bordered the pond. It also provided a nice layer of shade that made it the ideal spot to spend the day. I floated on my back in the water for what seemed like hours. The day seemed to slip away from me. A small beach of sand sat at one side of the pond, so I lay out in the sun and closed my eyes. The warm day warmed my soul, and soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep.
I awoke to the sound of crickets and darkness. I couldn't believe it. I had slept through the day; the long nights had finally caught up to me, and now I was stuck far away from the farmhouse. I didn't know if my plan with the scarecrow had worked, and this wasn't the place to test my theory.
A full moon lay overhead, casting a silvery glow on the world before me. A sea of grass swayed gently in the wind, sending shivers down it in shuddering waves. I looked around, but I was thankfully alone, just the crickets chirping along melodically as my only companions.
I had to make it back to the house, so I started on my way, my hands trailing along the tall grass. The pale light played easily on the deep green grass. Step by step, I made my way back towards the farmhouse and the barn, throwing caution to the wind, and I started to jog along, anything to get back faster. I would have to find Eli; maybe if we were together, he could stop it like before.
If I thought the field was creepy during the day, by night, it was a whole new world. Every sound made my heart stop for a beat before restarting in protest. When all of a sudden, the crickets stopped chirping. I dropped to my knees, letting the long grass cover me from sight. Through the strands, I could make out a shape moving slowly through the tall grass, the swish of the plants as it made its passage through them. My heart dropped. Was this Eli looking for me, or was it the scarecrow come for me?
That's when I heard a voice, a voice cutting through the silence. It started off quiet and raspy as it sang an eerie children's song.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
I was frozen to the spot. It hadn't found me, but it knew I was in the grass somewhere. Now, with each word, chewed up and spat out like it was unhappy with it, now it was accompanied by the whistle of something in the air and a slicing sound as it cut through the grass around me.
It finished another round of its song, but now it stood within feet of me, its blade whistling as it cut. I took a moment to ready myself, and as it raised its blade to cut through the grass I hid in, I dashed out of my hiding spot and slammed into it. But nothing resisted me; I fell through it like it was a ghost.
In a tangle of limbs, I landed hard on the ground and tried quickly rolling to my feet. The blade of its weapon pierced the earth beside me. Now I could see it was a two-handed scythe the scarecrow carried, but something was off, its hands were human. Pale milky skin like a newborn baby. I had little time to examine the creature except for the canvas bag over its head. Two large black eyes came out of the slits that leaked a dark red blood like tears.
It screeched loudly and swung its scythe, but it was slow, and I took off through the grass in the direction of what I hoped was the farmhouse.
I completely gave up all pretense of hiding and sprinted as fast as I could without looking back. The grass seemed to part for me as I ran in terror. I was just glad that in high school, I had taken track as it was paying off now.
I could hear the noise of footsteps behind me, but I never turned. I ran and ran until my lungs felt like they were going to burst Something silver flashed to my left, and I tripped over something hard and unexpected. The wind was driven from my lungs as my chin slammed hard into the earth. I scrambled back, trying to escape, but the scarecrow was on me, its blade flashing angrily in the pale moonlight.
I wanted to move, I wanted to fight, but my body was weak and unable to catch its breath, and I lay there helpless as it swung its scythe towards me. I closed my eyes in fear, but I only heard the thud of dirt before I opened my eyes. The scythe was discarded, and the scarecrow stood staring at me.
It seemed to be struggling with something, one hand reached out towards me only to be snapped back to its side. A roar of rage pierced the canvas sack over its head as it struggled against its invisible bonds. For a moment, I thought I saw something behind it, three sets of hands holding it back. One feminine in nature, and the other two must have belonged to children. In a flash, I saw a beautiful woman who looked vaguely familiar with her long brown hair and plain dress.
"Run," she moaned as the scarecrow swung around wildly.
I didn't hesitate and fled, my breath had returned, and while my body still ached from my fall, I powered on, knowing this was the only respite I would receive tonight.
In the distance, I could see a small sheet metal shape; Eli's trailer was slowly coming closer as I ran, and I beelined it for the trailer. I could hear the footsteps behind me again as the scarecrow resumed its chase after me.
I reached the old trailer and banged on the door as loud as I could; I rattled the handle, but it was locked.
"Eli, it's me. It's Polly, please let me in. Please," I begged as I banged over and over again on the door of his trailer.
Nothing responded to me, and the trailer was dark. The single window in the back held no life inside the trailer. From the trailer, I couldn't tell which direction the farmhouse was in the dark, so I fled into the tall grass and crouched low, watching the clearing around the trailer.
While I caught my breath, I watched the scarecrow enter the clearing, its scythe back in its hand as it circled the trailer. When its raspy voice began singing again low and quiet, only loud enough for me to hear.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek
The world it claims that I be not clean
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The song made me shiver uncontrollably at the lyrics and the voice; it sounded demented like a crazy person letting their demons out into a nursery rhyme.
I lay perfectly still; for some reason, it couldn't find me. This creature I assumed was all-knowing seemed to have some very human weaknesses. It moved and talked like a human, even had certain body parts that were from a human; it even felt human the way it chased and reacted.
The scarecrow moved on through the tall grass, and I let out a sigh of relief as it lost my trail. How terrifying that beast was. In my pocket was the keys to my car. Eli had told me that the farmhouse was fairly close to his trailer. I had to navigate to the car, then drive as fast as I can away from this place. The fact that I hadn't left already because I was worried about money was insane. Who cares, I could drive to Barb's and demand my money back. Go home and just tell my parents the truth. The whole reason for actually leaving home this summer, why I was actually here in this field shivering uncontrollably in fear. But I couldn't think about that now, not now, there will be time to deal with that later. Now I needed to focus on staying alive, getting to the car, and getting out of here.
I went in the direction the scarecrow had; he knew the land better than I did, and every noise I made in the silence of the night made my heart drop. It took all my courage there and then to take one step forward, then another. I felt like I was going to be sick; my stomach was in knots to where it felt like even if I was sick, the only thing to come out would be only bile and stomach acid.
With each careful step, I made my way closer to the farmhouse and the scarecrow. Through the darkness, I could see my goal, the farmhouse, and the barn. Within minutes, I had made it securely to the farmhouse yard.
My car still sat in the same spot overtop of the hole where I buried the scarecrow. In the moonlight, I could see that the dirt had not been disturbed.
The scarecrow was nowhere to be seen, and I cautiously made my way to my car, my keys in my hand as I approached the driver's door. I hadn't locked the car, and it opened on the first try. I turned on my car as quietly as I could, but nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Something landed heavily on top of the roof of my car, making it dent inwards slightly. With horror, I saw the scarecrow swing its scythe into the back window of my car. With a crash, the glass shattered inwards; I put my car into gear and roared away down the lane. In my rearview mirror, I couldn't see anything, so I swerved back and forth, trying to shake the creature from the roof of my car when the scythe crashed in through the front window, making a hole just large enough for it.
The glass spidered, and I couldn't see out the window very well. I swerved down the road, but the scythe remained in the car, allowing the creature purchase. In a panic, I spun my wheel wildly, trying to dislodge it, but I lost control, and soon felt something crash into the front of my car. The airbag went off in my face, and I hadn't been wearing my seatbelt. I slammed hard into something else, and my vision went dark. I was in a daze; I must have passed out because I don't remember a lot of what happened next. I felt the car door open with a crunching tear, and it landed loudly as it was torn off. My body being grabbed and tossed on the ground. I felt no pain, just a gentle numbness. I felt blood on my head as I raised my arm to touch my face.
Then just blackness, complete, and empty just feelings, fear, unease, sadness. My eyes opened, and the scarecrow was overtop of me. Pain on my chest and my vision went dark again. Coughing as something poured down my throat. I couldn't breathe, why couldn't I breathe?
My eyes opened one last time, and I saw the scarecrow pouring a dark liquid from its mouth directly into my mouth and eyes. My vision was red and bloody before I closed them one last time.
The words of its song echoed into the emptiness of my thoughts.
"Did you, did you, did you come for me?
Run and hide, don't you know that I seek?
The world it claims that I be not clean.
When I come, you'll see how filthy I can be.
Tonight, it is happening, tonight you'll see,
Beneath the moon, my shadows they do creep.
In this world, at night, I shall be free.
Tonight it's happening, tonight you'll see.
When I come, you had better flee, or else I'll come and give my filth to thee."
The darkness enveloped me, and I felt myself slipping away, the sounds of the night fading into oblivion.
Day 4
When I awoke, it was morning, and I found myself lying in a hospital bed. My head throbbed with pain, and my body ached all over. The memories of the terrifying night flooded back to me, and I shuddered involuntarily.
A nurse entered the room, her kind eyes filled with concern. "You're awake," she said softly, her voice gentle like a soothing balm. "You're lucky to be alive. You were found unconscious by the side of the road next to your car. Do you remember what happened?"
I tried to speak, but my throat felt raw and dry. I croaked out a few words, barely audible. "The scarecrow... it attacked me..."
The nurse frowned, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Scarecrow? What scarecrow?"
My heart raced with panic as I realized the truth. Had it all been a nightmare? But the pain in my body felt too real, the memories too vivid to be mere hallucinations.
I tried to explain, to tell her about the terrifying creature that had pursued me through the night, but she only looked at me with concern, as if I were delusional.
"I'll get the doctor, and there is a young man who brought you in. He has been here all morning," the nurse said with a sly wink.
After a few minutes, she came back with Eli and a doctor, both of whom smiled gently at me through the window. The doctor came in first and went over my health with me. I had a concussion and bruises all over my body. A generous-sized cut from some glass on my scalp had been stitched and bandaged. My mind flashed back to the night before. How the scarecrow had filled me with its gooey red blood.
"Did you find anything else?" I asked cautiously, trying to avoid another scandal like with the nurse.
"No, as long as you have someone to pick you up and take you home, you are free to go. That nice young man out there said he would take you back home," the doctor said, pointing to Eli as he rose with a slight grunt.
I glanced at Eli, and he waved uncertainly at me. The doctor went out and began talking to Eli for a few minutes.
While I waited, my mind began to have strange thoughts. Something was wrong; I felt weird. My vision turned red, and I began to see images before my eyes.
The Harmons. They flashed before my eyes in real-time—the husband hugging his wife, then swinging his kids around, chopping wood outback next to the barn while his wife cooked in the kitchen.
As Eli entered the room, the visions stopped suddenly. Like my saving angel for the third time now, I was extremely grateful to Eli.
"Heyyyyy," Eli said, elongating the word in a sort of familiar yet awkward way.
"Hi," I said, closing my eyes and letting my embarrassment pass in only a few seconds.
"Why is it that fifty percent of the times we meet, you're in serious trouble?" Eli asked, coming to sit on the edge of my bed.
"Oh, you know me, bad luck, I guess," I said simply, becoming aware that under my blankets, I was in a backless hospital gown, and he was inches away from me.
I pulled the blanket up to my chin as a sort of cover for my appearance, but Eli didn't seem to notice. He continued talking to me. It was actually really sweet the way he seemed to care for me.
"Anyways, the doctor said I could take you back to the farmhouse to rest," Eli said.
"No," I said suddenly, becoming serious.
"What? Why not?" Eli asked.
"I just, I just can't right now. I'll tell you later. Just, we can't spend the night anywhere near the farm," I said, grabbing him by the arm, hoping to sway him.
"Well, I mean, if you want, we can grab your stuff, and my house can literally go anywhere," Eli said in an offhand manner, as if he had expected this.
"Promise?" I asked, trying not to seem too afraid.
Within the hour, we had returned to the farmhouse. The hole I dug was still covered over, and I stared at it as we parked in Eli's black pickup truck.
I ran inside and quickly got changed into my only clean clothes, grabbing everything I had from the farmhouse. I paused at the dinner table, looking down at the photographs of the Harmons and thinking back to that weird moment in the hospital with that odd vision.
The day was getting longer, and I hurried back to Eli, waiting in the pickup truck. I threw my bag in the back and climbed in beside him. He smiled and backtracked down the lane. We turned to the left and went down a side road where we came upon my poor old car. It had crashed directly into a tree, and the whole front part of the car had been destroyed. Fluid leaked all over the road, and I almost shed a tear for my departed friend. We had traveled far together. I grabbed a few things from the car, but something was off about the car. The front door had been knocked off and was discarded on the far side of the road. It looked impossible; the door hadn't even hit the tree.
Eli hooked his truck up to his trailer, and we sped off, leaving the property behind us. We headed into town and found a pullout on the side of the road with a set of bathrooms to camp at for the night. Eli's trailer was messy but cozy. He had laundry strewn over most surfaces, but it didn't smell bad.
The room consisted of a small kitchen with a bed in one corner. There were also a lot of posters and artwork on the walls. I examined one of a pretty girl with long raven-black hair. It was a realist painting, obviously taken from real life.
"Who is this?" I asked as Eli made us some food.
"That is just a friend," Eli said, glancing at the painting he had done.
"Well, she is a pretty friend," I said, enjoying watching the back of his ears turn bright red.
"Dinner's ready," he said, pouring the mixture of food he had made onto a pair of plates.
Eli served me and handed me a can of Coke to drink. I thanked him and sat on his bed. It was the only serviceable piece of furniture in the whole trailer. We both sat in silence for a moment while we ate. I could tell something was bothering Eli as he kept making glances toward me.
"What? What is it, Eli? Just say it," I said between bites.
"Tell me what happened, Polly. Tell me why you were burying the scarecrow, why you were passed out in the road with straw in your hair. Tell me why you were muttering about the Harmons and a scarecrow when I found you," Eli said suddenly, as if he were unloading a machine gun.
I looked Eli square in the face and relented. I told him about the last couple of nights at the farmhouse, about how the scarecrow had been tormenting me every night. About how he had saved me and how last night I had fled through the fields to his trailer and then to my car. I told him about the vision I had about the Harmons in the hospital. By the end of it, I was in tears. I felt so foolish and childish.
Eli took it in stride. He asked a few questions during my retelling, but by the end of it, he was silent. Tears fell down my face and landed in my lap. We had both put our plates on the counter, and Eli hugged me. He put his arms around me, and I nuzzled into his shoulder, feeling comforted again in him at the lowest points of my life.
With a gentle hand, he wiped away my tears, and I smiled, letting a nervous laugh escape my lips. I looked up into his face and felt his stare before I saw it. His pale blue eyes shone with comfort, and then his lips were on mine as he kissed me quickly before pulling away slightly.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. That was insensitive of me. You're sad, and I took advantage of that," Eli said, moving back slightly.
"Shut up," I said, and grabbed his shirt, bringing him back in.

Hi everyone, Im a 1,73 cm around 80kg, 31 year old male with around 30% bodyfat. I started around 3 years ago with around 90 kg. All weights are roughly since I mostly go by waist size, not so much weight. You probably can already tell that it wasnt straight forward for me since 10 kg in 3 years is not alot. This was mostly due to me overdoing it with running, injuring myself in the process and then jojo-ing back a bit.
Since around 4 months I switched to zone 2 cardio mostly. Still running but with more training over time and lower intensity I now feel on the right track here. I ran in the last 4 months on at least 20 days per month, always around 5 km and always around 300 kcal according to my treadmill, most of it in zone 2. I also work in additional weight training every now and then, just so my muscles don vanish completly. I dont count calorie burns on that, but just know that this shouldnt be a major area of concern either.
My diet (pretty much unchanged since day one) is strict and open at the same time. I dont have breakfast and eat a protein porridge for lunch (100gram oats, 50 gram casein protein powder, 10 gram nuts + 50-100ml almond milk + water) which is in sum pretty much excactly 500 kcal. Im pretty strict about that. Then an apple or banana in the afternoon around 100 kcal and then my most open and last meal of the day, dinner. Always homecooked, with often a salad or at least plenty of vegetables. There wouldn't be any fast food or anything else of the usual suspects. While I dont track calories here, I would be suprised if it surpassed 1000 kcal (my estimated allowance for this meal) regularly.
There are days where I dont follow my diet, but thats mostly birthdays and such so, maybe 1-2 days a month where I once again would be suprised if I surpassed (as an absolut maximum 3000 kcal a day, 2500 probably being a more realistic upper sealing. We are talking going out for dinner or having a cake, not an all you can eat buffet.)
I dont drink much alcohol anymore, we are talking somewhere in the 1-2 times a month 3-4 glasses of wine. While still to much, it also shouldnt be a major calorie contributor.
Other then that I`m unfortunately not very active, programing as a job and gaming as a hobby doesnt mix well.
Using Online calculators I should be around 2000 kcal burn (NEAT) per day + 300 from Sport on most days. While eating around 1600 kcal per day. So a good day would give me a deficit of 700 kcal (round about).
On my worst days I should gain around 500 kcal. Even going by the 10 bad days in a month, 20 good days estimate. This would give me an overall burn of (...calculating...) 5000-14000 = -9000 kcal per month. So around 300 kcal on an average day. With this calculation being pretty pessimistic I would say.
Even if we round down again and say its only a 7000 kcal deficit per month... I should loose a kg per month, which would still be a rather slow diet (while feeling quite strict if Im honest). And this being an absolute low estimate.
My simple problem is: I havent lost that much, not by a long shot, we are talking 1-2 kg in the last 4 months.
HOW? what am I missing? It feels like I got everything under control. Im fairly "experienced" with diets and even loosing weight. I know what it feels like and generally how to do it. Im honest with myself and never complained online before, since always saw my own shortcomings eventually (poor diet, to little NEAT, overtraining etc. all being problems before, that I solved for me). But this time Im drawing a complet blank, I feel like I should be loosing weight, faster or honestly most of the time at all with what Im doing. Do you guys have any ideas or pointers, Im really out of my wits this time?

I have recently been accepted to free-choice engineering at McMaster and management engineering (co-op) at Waterloo. I am in a dillemna between which to choose and would like your help. On the one hand, free-choice at mac (probably software eng) is a better sounding program than management engineering (basically half industrial half computer science) at Waterloo, but on the other hand, Waterloo's co-op program is a serious draw as 6 whole work experiences before you graduate and going straight to the U.S. after grad is something that I'm not sure McMaster has, at least to the same extent, although I am not sure. In conclusion, I want to know from the ECE, Software, Tron, and CS people at Mac, which option would you choose? Is the potentially lower earning potential offset by the campus/environment at Mac? How realistic is it to get 4 or more co-ops at Mac as someone in the software industry? Do you guys have any regrets? Do most Mac eng grads find work in the U.S./is it realistic? How is the social life at mac at least for engineering? I really appreciate your input, thank you. What would you pick and why?
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I've been trying to find a book that I loved as a child. It was an illustrated children book about a family (your stereotypical family with the mother, father, daughter and son) in different areas of the house. The daughter was probably blonde, straight hair.
The book was thin, but the illustrations were big, double page, and elaborated. They weren't cartoony at all, the style was kinda realistic. Each illustration showed a different area of the house, and some text annotations made remarks of some specific details. For example, an illustration maybe showed the children preparing in the bathroom, washing their teeth or something. Another the family in the kitchen, with notes about the appliances, food, etc.
The illustration I remember more vividly (kind of) is about the garden at night. One of the kids was watching or trapping an insect, maybe a firefly, while the other was using a flashlight. I think I remember the garden was lit by moonlight, and there were some notes about flowers and maybe some nocturnal animals in the garden.
For reference, I read this in Spain in the 90s, but I'm pretty sure it was a translation. The book probably was either German, British or American, but not sure at all.
I vaguely remember another book showing the same children in different areas and activities of the school, but not sure about this at all
I think this drawing by illustrator Kathryn Hewitt (kathrynhewitt.com) looks pretty close to how the family members were drawn in this book, as I recall.
https://imgur.com/eNWxfC6
(Kathryn Hewitt is not the illustrator of this book I'm trying to find, just a visual reference!)

Now that the sun has set on another season it’s time to reflect on our performance throughout and look forward to how next season could go.
TLDR; Much improved season but game management has cost us throughout. Continued strong recruitment for next season especially at Manager position.
Let’s begin with the raw stats.
We finished 10th for the second successive season but amassed our highest points total of 18 in the WSL alongside our best goal scoring season with 26 goals for and our best defensive season conceding 45 goals against. An improvement of 11 more goals scored and 3 fewer goals conceded than last season.
We finished third in our Continental Cup group losing only one game to Manchester United which ultimately cost us progression to the knockouts.
Furthermore, we reached the FA Cup semi final for the first time in our history, dominating lower league teams along the way.
Our top 5 goal scorers (in all competitions):
Rantala - 10
Cayman - 7
Petermann - 6
Tierney - 4
O’Brien/Whelan/Rose - 3
Top 5 assist providers (in all competitions):
Rantala - 7
Momiki - 5
Petermann - 4
Tierney - 4
Takarada - 3
End of season awards winners:
Player of the Season - Rantala
Players player - Rantala
Goal of the Season - Goodwin vs Liverpool
Academy Player of the Season - Kiera Bell
Congratulations to all. Now on to the review proper.
We start with the positives. Recruitment has been great this year. The additions of Petermann, Rantala and Cayman have increased our goal scoring output and the acquisitions of Lietzig, Kop, Thibaud, Rose, Momiki and Takarada has added greater depth and quality to our squad and made us a more competitive team throughout the season.
We very rarely sat in against teams, aimed to play out from the back and press opposition back lines which served us well and earned plaudits from around the league especially early on in the campaign.
Additionally we have a very solid tandem of goalkeepers in Leitzig and Kop that have shown they can be rotated in for each other and not effect the confidence of the team in front of them which is a great bonus.
Finally, we continue to see success in our youth academy with them winning the double of the PGA Plate and County Cup as well as academy players continuing to get minutes in the senior team.
Now, unfortunately, the negatives.
Elephant in the room is the managerial situation. After Kirk’s dismissal for unprofessional conduct and Foster stepping down as interim manager with the conclusion of the season we are now searching for our fourth manager in three seasons in the WSL.
Something is very clearly not right behind the scenes when our last 2 male managers have crossed professional boundaries with players and our last permanent female manager was unceremoniously dismissed hours after a giving a pre match press conference. Questions have to be asked about how our next manager is going to be recruited, monitored and assessed by the higher ups. This inconsistency has been reflected in our on pitch performances and the players must be commended for how they have handled the off pitch turmoil.
To be optimistic, whomever the next manager shall be they need to keep pushing the progressive, attacking football we have developed under Kirk whilst making us a less porous side defensively and able to manage games better and see them out especially when we have the lead.
Which very neatly leads me to our biggest downside this campaign, our game management.
All of our 4 league victories this season came against two teams (Bristol City and Everton) half of those came in the opening two games of the season (where we were briefly top of the league 🙌🏻) and the other 2 came in three games at the end of January/beginning of February. That is a long time to go without success without it effecting not only our league standing but the morale of the team.
It has been a reverse of our previous seasons where instead of seeing us floundering at the bottom to pop up at the end of the season we have watched us have an electric start only to slowly but surely watch our league position erode away.
The story of our season was giving up leads and losing points from winning positions happening 7 times in the league. The most defining examples is being 2-0 up at halftime at home to Arsenal, being the better side only to be decimated in the second half and lose 6-2. Drawing 1-1 in stoppage time to a 10 player West Ham and both games against Brighton. First surrendering a two goal advantage in the final 10 minutes of the away fixture to draw the game and then taking the lead at home to only go 2-1 down, fight back to level the tie but lose to another goal conceded in the last 5 minutes.
Of those 7 leads and potential 21 points lost, if we win against West Ham and Brighton, that’s 9 points in our favour and we would be celebrating a much stronger finish to our season.
With regards to looking forward to next season I do feel we have very strong foundations to build upon and become even more competitive not only in the league but have strong cup runs as proven by our results in a tough Conti Cup group and our semi final appearance in the FA Cup.
As for personnel we have a squad full of internationals with at least half a season of chemistry with each other, excellent training facilities and the privilege of playing at the King Power for home league games.
Obviously we need a quality manager to lead us. I would have jumped at the chance to take on Carla Ward but she is taking time out to spend time with her family. Aside from her I am not so well versed in the women’s managerial landscape to make an educated suggestion. Maybe Melissa Phillips, formerly of Brighton who seemed to have good respect from her players and a decent track record with London City Lionesses and Brighton.
For players I would like to see another striker brought in. When Petermann isn’t available we lack a focal point up top and Siemsen hasn’t been relied upon much when fit.
Cover at full back would be a priority as well. Bott is outstanding and we can always rely on the experience of Cayman but depth is definitely an issue. Ale did a decent job towards the tail end of the season but is only on loan and Nevin has seemingly dropped down the pecking order.
Further depth in the middle with the departure of Whelan and a younger, more modern centre half (think Plumptre) to complement the guile and physicality that we have in place.
A third experienced keeper wouldn’t go amiss to cover for injury to Kop or Leitzig.
I’m genuinely excited to see how he play with a fully fit complement of wingers next year as that is where we are stacked with promise: Rantala, Rose, Cain, Goodwin, O’Brien and Momiki (on occasion) offer a truly dangerous outlet for us and pose any defender a headache.
One final note. Thank you to Whelan for her services as our club Captain for the last two seasons. She has lead by example, never kicked up a fuss not being a starter this season and always given 100% on the pitch. May she enjoy her retirement from football.
Feel free to add your own thoughts and opinions and we look forward to improving further in the off season.
COYF 🦊

I’ve hit a brick wall with my 3rd great grandparents and would really appreciate any help!! This is a very long post as I wanted to include as much info as I thought could be helpful, apologies if it’s much more than necessary. I also have a family photo of my 3rd great grandparents James and Anna Rada and most of their children from around the early 1900s, if that could be of any help.
I’ve so far been unable to find either set of my 4th great grandparents. James Vaclav Rada (or possibly Vaclav James Rada?) and Anna Rada (maiden name possibly Schultz) were born around 1852, I think in the Austrian Empire but I’m not very knowledgeable about the history of that area so I could be totally off. On the 1910 census record he wrote Bohemia as the birth place for both him and Anna but that was crossed out and Austria was written, however on the 1920 and 1930 census just Bohemia was written. I’ve also seen people list them as being from Prague.
James was also listed as Jim on one of his daughters death certificates, and on a census he was listed as James Rada Jr so his father could have possibly had the same name. I’ve also seen on others family trees that his mothers maiden name might have been Rosenberger but I have no idea how true that is. In that same vein, he may have possibly had a sister or half sister named Antonia who I also have a photo of if that could be of any help, and I’ve heard through word of mouth he may have had a brother named Frank who also came to the US.
I am quite confident Anna had a younger sister named Marie Schultz who married a Josef Sidak, they both came to the U.S. in 1887 and her father was a Joseph Schultz, so that could be Anna’s father but I can’t find any information about him.
Anna and James got married before immigrating, I think around 1876 but that’s based off the age it’s listed he was first married at, as I have no record of anything from before they came to the US. James and Anna had 9 children together to my knowledge; Joseph, Josephine (Josie), Charles, Anna, Rose, James, Mae, Henry, and William (Bill). After Anna passed on July 3rd 1915 in Perkins South Dakota, James married Katherine Kanka (born 1877, also in the same area of Europe) and had one child with her, a son named Edward. James died on September 28th 1938 in Beadle, South Dakota. I don’t have either James or Anna’s death certificates and did look into how to get them but ultimately couldn’t figure it out, so if anyone knows how that would be fantastic!
It seems they moved around quite a bit after coming to the US, I think they originally came to either Chicago or South Dakota, but lived in Minnesota at one point and possibly Nebraska?
I have spoken with some distant cousins and my grand aunt about this side of the family. The older relatives mostly said the same thing word for word, that they were “gypsies in the old country”, not quite sure what that means. Much of the other stuff I’ve heard from family is random and seems insignificant, not sure how true any of it is.
I’d really love to find their birth certificates or any record of them or their parents from before immigrating, although I have no clue how realistic that is. Really anything anyone else could tell me about them would be highly highly appreciated!!
If there’s any information I should have included that would help just let me know.

So I will start this by saying I'm pretty sure I don't have aphantasia. I've always considered myself to have a very vivid imagination. When asked to picture an apple, I can picture a pretty realistic apple. Vivid daydreaming got me through a lot as a kid.
The issue is....my vivid imagination also isn't entirely accurate or in my control. Back to the apple thing, I can picture an apple, but parts of it aren't quite right. The best way I can describe it is like seeing one of those early deep dream/ai art generator programs as they're in the process of generating the image of an apple, and the parts you're focusing on are a pretty good red apple, but outside of that there's weird vaguely round apple like shakes and the colors are wrong and there's randomly a giant cartoon stem and leaf.
Faces are the biggest problem for me. I've been with my partner for over ten years. Of course I know what he looks like, of course I could describe him to you. But the more I try and picture him in my mind's eye, the more the image distorts out of my control. Where his beard is becomes a black void, his nose loses all detail, the shape of his face elongates. He's literally sitting right next to me right now and if I close my eyes and look away for just a moment I get a different face in my head. A detailed face, but the wrong one.
I'm an artist who likes drawing comics. This has been one of my biggest struggles in learning art. I constantly use references, but I find myself having to trace directly off these references over and over rather than being able to just look at the reference and draw, because literally in the time it takes me to glance back at my page my mind's eye fucks with what I thought I saw.
Importantly, I don't tend to use traced refs in my final pieces, certainly not of others works. I use them to practice the "feel" of what I'm drawing over and over until my muscle memory kicks in. I also take my own pictures a lot for direct traced references, particularly for landscapes and facial expressions. Again though, most of it is training my muscle memory.
I just feel like this isn't what people mean when they say they have perfect imagination, but it isn't a complete lack of mental imagery either. I can't find anything about this anywhere though, all the literature on aphantasia and hyperphantasia is exactly that, those two extremes and how people fall between them.
Same thing happens with people's voices. It honestly makes me feel sad that I find it hard to picture a comforting word in a friend's actual voice. It also used to drive me nuts that I couldn't actually sing a song in my head without it getting messed up in some way, and I needed to sing it out loud for it to be right.
I do wonder if this is why I like drawing comics and cartoony characters. I can remember exaggerated and simplified details pretty well.
Anyway, does this sound at all like anything others go through?

Post to Media Website
Url: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm
Title: ‘Social Media and Mental Health - Are you addicted to Social Media?’
Author: Lawrence Robinson and Melinda Smith M.A.
Evidently, social media has become predominant within society, and it exists as a means of communication, news broadcast, entertainment, etc. and it is necessary to navigate it’s variety with caution, awareness, and balance so as to not become overly consumed by it’s pull. This article reviews statistics and the effects of social media on the mental health of the individual, weighing both the pros and cons of media usage, and it draws upon research studies and findings. In light of the 7 media keys identified in Infinite Bandwidth by Eugene Gan, I was able to attribute them to this article.
First Media Key: Balance
Balance is vital in setting the base of our attitude toward the media, as expressed in Infinite Bandwidth (29) which is practiced in the virtue of temperance. Temperance is a key virtue to strive toward when using media so as to not become too invested or addicted. Both this article and Infinite Bandwidth discuss the tendency of addiction to social media and it’s link to greater health issues, “these researchers found that 80 percent suggest a close link between too much “screen time” and multiple behavioral and health problems with tobacco use, sexual promiscuity, obesity, academic performance…” (Infinite Bandwidth, Gan 30). The article states that “social media can create psychological cravings” (Social Media and Mental Health) therefore navigating internet and media usage with a balance is crucial for the overall well-being of the human person. The article also encourages self-reflection to maintain healthy management and use of media. An example in this article of how to achieve balance with media usage is to identify your personal motive behind usage since social media is designed to keep your attention; therefore it's important to be conscious of it.
Second Media Key: Attitude Awareness
The second media key attitude awareness focuses on the importance of being aware of the messages being conveyed in specific media, and what they are trying to communicate. Human beings learn through the senses as interpreted in Infinite Bandwidth (38) when Gan discusess the power of the senses, for through them we come to know the world. Naturally, human beings are drawn to visible things, and the media makes things quite appealing. Media also affects thoughts, opinions, views, and ideas in ways that we are not always conscious of so it is important to be aware of the effects. The article encourages individuals to be mindful of the various attitudes and messages being expressed within media while also being aware of how social media can affect personal mood and mental state. Ultimately, before getting sucked into the sensual pull of social media, both the article and Gan Eugene’s book express the significance of maintaining attitude awareness when using media. Social Media and Mental Health prompts the idea for parents to set limits and moderation for their children with media usage which can encourage the habit of temperance and balance.
The Third Media Key: Dignity of the Human Person
The third media key in Infinite Bandwidth highlights the value of the inherent and indestructible dignity of every human person; and humanity created in the image and likeness of God, “These are the truths by which man is to live. In life, we’re supposed to nurture our spirits, care for our bodies, give ourselves in love, and defend the dignity of others. And nothing changes, or at least nothing should change, in the realm of media.” (Infinite Bandwidth, Gan 53). The dignity of the human person should be upheld in the media. The article identifies various aspects of media that undermine the dignity of the human person, largely in the realm of comparison and lowering standards of self-worth to social media portrayals; it guards against falling into these and losing a healthy mindset about worth. “Sharing endless selfies and all your innermost thoughts on social media can create an unhealthy self-centeredness and distance you from real-life connections” (Social Media and Mental Health). Here the article identifies an aspect of media that detracts from individual value and self-worth. Therefore it is vital to uphold balance, attitude awareness, and mindfulness when using social media specifically, to avoid losing truth, especially regarding human dignity.
The Fourth Media Key: Truth-Filled
The fourth media key holds the significance of mainting truth in media, and delivering accurate and realistic material, words, expressions, images that are truthful in accordance with your life and experience. Quoted in Infinite Bandwidth from Communio et Progresso is, “Modern man cannot do without information that is full, consistent, accurate, and true. Without it he cannot understand the perpetually changing world in which he lives, nor be able to adapt himself to the real situation” (Infinite Bandwidth, 70). In sum, man needs truth in order to live to the fullest and inorder to be grounded in reality. Therefore, truth should be held in the media, but of course it is not because of our fallen human nature, but it is nonetheless important to seek it out in media, and to not give into falsehood. Social Media and Mental Health explains some artifcial and unrealistic images and expression that are apparent in social media which are harmful in that they lead people away from reality and realistic expectations and create unhealthy comparison which negatively impacts mental health, here the article encourages individuals to steer away from these appealing yet unrealistic sights to remain grounded in reality. “People only post what they want others to see. Images are manipulated or carefully posed and selected. And having fewer friends on social media doesn’t make your child less popular or less worthy” (Social Media and Mental Health). Movies, tv shows, news broadcasts can all convey falsities which detract from truth and create confusion, so it is crucial to consciously navigate and not be misled.
The Fifth Media Key: Inspiring
This media key emphasizes the beauty in using media as an outlet to lead people to truth, beauty, and goodness, and ultimately to God. Media can be used to express and proclaim truths, not only by words, but through example through images that are made up of natural beauty or artwork, which naturally move the human soul to higher truths. Infinite Bandwidth mentions the many signs in the created universe that point toward a higher being and purpose of life. The media can be used as a space to share knowledge, truth, and beauty to positively impact the minds of those who come across it. The article Social Media and Mental Health lists many pros of media usage including it’s space to bring creativity and expression, and another pro is the ability to address and shed light on important pressing issues and matters. These are areas that can inspire people to learn, find truth, and contribute positively toward human flourishing.
The Sixth Media Key: Skillfully Developed
The sixth media key expresses “the Church’s urge for us to take advantage of the opportunity to ‘be active in using all the aids to communication that lie within the media,’ but to speak that language with knowledge” (Infinite Bandwidth, 102). It encourages us to contribute to the media in a skillful way that is in line with the current communication of the culture so as to effectively and efficiently be expressed and understood by others and to be done so with quality. The article Social Media and Mental Health advocates for this necessity as well and encourages this type of use, especially concerning grounding it in reality. A skillfully developed platform of media influences individual growth and contemplation, it leaves a mark.
The Seventh Media Key: Motivated by Relevant to Experience
This final media key demonstrates the effective way in which truth can be communicated through relatable, common, and shared human experiences that people identify with and can understand on a deeper level. In Infinite Bandwidth Gan explains how Christ used parables and stories that were drawn to relevant and relatable experiences of the Jews at the time. These stories were so effectively grasped because those who listened to them could understand and identify with them. “He captured their attention with ideas and images that were familiar, and He used those ideas and images to make His point” (Infinite Bandwidth, 118). Stories, examples, and characters can express very relatable experiences of human life that people can learn from, be inspired by, and be moved by. Even through fiction, this can be done if it is drawn upon realistic human experiences, it can provide insight into truths about life. The article expands on this concept in its exploration of positive aspects of media when people truthfully share common human experiences or express fundamental truths and ideas through various media platforms.