Things you can text to your boyfriend while he is at work

So long story short I started working for the start up company about a month and a half ago. Everything was going good the first two weeks, until I noticed that my ex boss now was demanding me to learn all these new things when I told him before, I was hired that I had no experience with IT.. but he hired me as operations manager, when I had originally applied for office manager. I was flattered that he offered me something else, but like I said, I told him before he hired me that I had no experience, and he said he would teach me.
He did not… The last week has been very difficult, because I have been working overtime but not on the clock, so I’m working with the company laptop when I’m at home so I can finish checking on some things. I asked him and everyone else in the office, if that was OK for me to do, and they all told me the same thing. “ why would you want to work while at home? It’s up to you, just make sure that your tracker is off.” Which is fine. I just wanted to study more of my Job role and wanted to go through all the documents.
Well, we hired 10 new “employees”.
It was my job to train them after 24 hours, and if they did not understand I needed to fire them and find someone else.
I did not feel comfortable with this, and I told him that, so he gave the responsibility to the office manager. All the HR stuff that I was supposed to do, he was giving to the office manager. I felt a little uncomfortable, but the same time I’m like OK that’s fine. I’ll just try and spend more time learning my role so I can help with other things.
Now my ex boss was throwing all these responsibility things for me to do, and it was nearly impossible to do that while also training 10 new hires over slack -online answering all their questions every single minute of the day. Also trying to meet my quota.. it became very stressful, and it got to the point where I started to have headaches. And I know that this could be a remote thing, but when I was hired, (I’m saying this, because it needs to be said) I was never told that I could not work from home. That the position that I was applying for wasn’t in position. And that was fine. I had no problem with that, however, I had things come up, and since every time I’m at the office, nobody would say a word to me nobody said anything or ask me questions Unless it was over slack.
Every time I try to talk to my boss about something, he would tell me “just dm me” when he was literally in front of me at my desk. So it just made no sense. I was really hoping that he would respect this, and I did tell him last night everything that was going on because I asked him yesterday if we could talk, I said this at 8:56am. He said “sure later this afternoon”. I asked what time, and he never said anything. Throughout the day, I noticed that he was laughing and joking, with all the other employees, having their own little mini conferences… meetings idk. I was a little bummed out, because I was so in the zone zone, helping the new hires, that nobody was talking to me. And I was hoping to at least squeeze five minutes and with him. But it wasn’t until 5 PM came when I’m like “ OK, he had all this time to actually talk to me. But every time I try to ask, he said he was busy.” When he wasn’t.
I have done everything that I can for this company when I first started. I would stay up all night studying, making sure that I understood… clearly that’s not what he wanted. He would call me out and be very disrespectful in a public channel thru slack..
I get a message from him this morning, and he pretty much just let me go go. What bothers me, is that it took him less than 10 minutes to completely delete all of my (professional email - no access on Slack or the dashboard) which I understand, but how am I going to return all this stuff? When the building is very high cyber security…
There was a lot of red flags going on at this place. I just feel completely used and taken advantage of. This has happened a lot throughout the years, but I had a feeling this was happening when he was stripping my duties after hiring me. And he expected me to be an expert at IT after the first week… I literally have a friend who does programming and coding for a living, and he’s teaching me, and he told me straight up that it is nearly impossible to teach someone to become an expert after a couple of days….
I just have a lot on my mind, I don’t know how to return this stuff if I can’t even get a hold of them. The fact that it took him less than 10 minutes like I said to wipe all my stuff, but he couldn’t even take the five minutes to talk to me in person yesterday.
Part of me wants to apply for unemployment and explain what happened. I know part of me feels like I would be denied, but at least I tried. Because everyone around me that has seen me come home working 10 hours Part of me wants to apply for unemployment and explain what happened. I know part of me feels like I would be denied, but at least I tried. Because everyone around me that has seen me come home working 10 hours a day five days a week.. I would come home and pass out for like 18 hours…
I told him about my disabilities, I was trying to be honest and update him with everything. But it’s like people don’t even care anymore.. it’s really shitty because I’m such a hard worker..
(After getting that message from him, I just went out and mowed my entire yard front and back. Took me about four hours… wore myself out but I really need to just vent and get this off my chest)

New Flash everyone: the guy who hangs out with Daniel Greene(a pro-fairy rights socialist), is loved by redditors, and got a Hugo award is… woke. Who would have ever seen that coming? But, thanks to Jon Del Arroz making a video about it on May 18th, I am here to repeat the news back to you so there is an easily accessible source as to HOW he’s woke. Everything was revealed back in January 2023, but I want people to understand the implications and narrative that he’s presenting when he says his concerns about fairy rights. By the end of this, you will realize that people calling themselves Christian does not cause them to be immune to wokeness.
In fact, with how Christianity has influenced wokeness into existence, it’s likely a lot of "Christians" are what we can call “first wave wokeness”.
For context, Brandon Sanderson is a Mormon, part of the Latter-Day Saints (LDS). Mormonism is almost exclusively a US issue, and I’ve also noticed that there are a lot of youtubers who tend to be Mormon women(probably because they have other women in the house to do the chores). These people are great with money, big in business, and their church is anti-fairy. A lot of problems the fairy-rights activists have are with Mormon churches, which is strange for Europeans to witness with how open a lot of their churches are, outside of the US. Protestant, evangelical, unitarian, the national church of Denmark, it’s a big list.
But in 2008, Brandon wrote an essay about his Mormon beliefs on how Dumbledore from Harry Potter liked to have wands stirred around in his brown cauldron. His quote:

How does this relate to Dumbledore? I'm not trying to present him as an antagonist or a villain. All I'm saying is that if you believe in the truth of your message, then you shouldn't care if someone decent, respected, and intelligent is depicted as believing differently from yourself. Decent, respected, and intelligent people can be wrong--and you can still respect them. It's okay. That doesn't threaten our points, since we (theoretically) believe that they are eternal and stronger than any argument we could make.

Back in this time, Brandon had only been an author for 3 years, but he won an award for his first published book, Elantris. He was being careful with his words, and his take is considered liberal. He was trying to defend the backlash JK Rowling received for her (poor) choice of virtue signaling and tried to mend this defense with his own religion. Mentioning his religious views is what got him canceled back then, which he later apologized for in 2011:

I cannot be deaf to the pleas of \[fairy\] couples who want important things, such as hospital visitation rights, shared insurance, and custody rights. At the same time, I accept and sustain the leaders of the LDS church. I believe that a prophet of God has said that widespread legislation to approve \[fairy\] marriage will bring pain and suffering to all involved.

He was not backing down from his religion yet. His goal post moved to the legal ramifications of the US, which are separate from his church(remember, church and state, supposed to be separate in the US), but he was still saying his religion wanted him to oppose people calling it a marriage and having it in churches. This was a second “cancellation” that didn’t go very far, mostly because he was able to use religion as an excuse for his take, with the Christian Cake Packed With Fudge Scandal not happening yet(2018).
Fast forward to 2023, after he hangs out with a bunch of woke youtubers, and we get a new quote from Brandon:

The church’s first prophet, Joseph Smith, famously taught, “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” My current beliefs are where I’ve arrived on my journey, as I attempt to show the love that Jesus Christ taught. I look forward to seeing further changes in the church, and I work to make sure I am helping from within it to create a place that is welcoming of \[fairy\] people and ideas. I would love, for example, to see the church recognize \[fairy\] marriage among its members. Both temporally and eternally. I would support ordaining \[tinkerbell\] men to the priesthood. (And would support the ordination of women, though that is another issue.)

That’s interesting. It seems like he made a complete 180 on his stance, claims that he’s always believed this new stance, blames Jesus for this new stance, and then doubles down on this new stance by adding female ordination(becoming a priest and higher) and even Tinkerbells. As time went on, he decided that his religion was totally wrong about fairies, and this 13 year difference means way more than the nearly 200 years Mormonism has been around. I believe a fellow Mormon, Shadversity, would love to have a discussion about how any of this makes sense, but I’m starting to feel that he’s the same way. Who knows if Ethan Van Sciver understands Mormonism as well as Brandon Sanderson does, with how easy it is to manipulate prophecies and reinterpret scripture.
But that’s been the point for a while, right?
Wokeness is here to restructure both historical evidence and even religions, in order to shift cultures and social institutions to obey this progressive change. Words are changed in the dictionary, social “norms” are changed to be updated for a “modern audience”, and postmodernists like Foucault were able to trick college kids into thinking the Greeks were all pixie fairies. Once a critical theorist gets their hands on something with power, their goal is not to keep it as it is. It is to keep it for themselves. This is why you will hear these people say everything is subjective, which is secret code for “Look at me: I’m the captain of reality now.”
But wait, it gets better! Brandon Sanderson continued with:

Back in 2007, I was mostly known only in my community, not to the world at large. The essay, then, was directed at my local community, and was more controversial among them (for being too liberal) than it was controversial to the world at large for being \[fairy\]phobic. That might surprise you, if you’ve read the excerpts that often float around the internet. This was mostly me trying to encourage other members of the church to be more open and welcoming of \[fairy\] characters and ideas.
That said, the essay does display the casual bigotry common to people who (like myself) have lived lives where we haven’t had to deal with some of the issues common to the lives of people suffering discrimination. Many of the assertions (such as my view on \[fairy\] marriage) do not reflect my current stance. After writing it, and interacting with those who found it objectionable–even painful–I came to understand them and their experiences better. Though they did not owe me that honor, they gave it freely.

You see, he's honored to hear about the life of a bug chaser.
Brandon cares deeply about the pain he caused to his wallet… I mean the fairies who saw his essay. He was an award winning author back then, he didn’t know it would be a global thing. It was supposed to be only seen by people in Utah, that’s it. This is what we call: bullshit. The woke rely heavily on gaslighting and pretending they’re ignorant of everything, while telling others that they need to learn and understand EVERYTHING about a subject before they are even able to mention it.
He was already big on reddit, he knew all about his fandom, and he knew about his publisher, Tor. The only thing that really changed is that now he is unable to stick to being liberal and he has to present himself as progressive. Why? Well, the new Amazon deal happened recently, and he’s the writer of the series The Wheel of Time. As if Rings of Power wasn’t evidence enough of how Amazon mistreats their properties, Brandon was forced to erase his own past, like Agent J in Men in Black, burning his own hands in the process.
I’m not surprised that he’s woke or even that Christians are falling to this woke inquisition. When I said first wave wokeness, I would like to clarify why it’s the catalyst for all of this stupidity. Wokeness is not of Christian values, but instead a parasite upon Christianity, in the same way Gnosticism and Satanism would be. When Christianity started to allow new sects, and a lot of these were considered valid, the crazy sex cults of the 60s opened the floodgates for a bunch of crazy reinterpretations. It’s the same way as how there are still circles of Christianity that go for flat earth theory or say that dinosaurs don’t exist, with these people usually at the forefront of the home-schooling movement.
It’s not that home-schooling is bad by itself, it’s that bad people use it to then have the good people using it be wrongfully grouped into the same area, in the same way gun-ownership does. This type of bastardization has always been a problem in the US, due to the lack of authority over what makes something categorized as such a thing, thanks to liberalism allowing the freedom to constantly change things. As time went on, this liberalism changed into progressivism, with the key difference being that liberalism is an allowance of change while progressivism is an enforced change. The liberalism of the 1800s allowed the Confederates to claim Christianity approved of their enslavement of black people, by blaming the story of Ham and using scripture to claim it was okay to enslave certain people for generations. We always see this strange cherry-picking of scripture from fake Christians, and this problem has expanded into the Vatican itself with the current and following generations of Popes.
A lot of times, we’ll hear news about how Christians are under attack, a bakery is targeted to expose discrimination, or even where people claim they were banned from twitch for being Christian. But what they get wrong is that they are in the same circle as liberal and progressive Christianity, their openness created this weakness to tourism, and most Christian circles have been taken over in the US since before the 60s. The south has a culture of being liberal, Mormons have a culture of being liberal, protestants are very liberal, all because the US began as a liberal culture in the form of classical liberalism. The libertarian argument is always used by these liberal groups, that changes into the progressive enforcement, and over the years these liberal people get infected by the virus.
Add money to the mix, and we have ourselves an endless chain of liberal minded people falling to wokeness. The “redemption” narrative, along with original sin, from Christianity is currently its main weakness. The appeal to ignorance is another weakness, with people playing skeptic as a snake slithers through the grass. Christianity isn’t the problem by itself, it’s the naivety that comes from blind faith, which then expands into a contradictory blind faith that people are good inside, only to later wonder why everything is changing for the worse when evil people are put in charge. Fantasy stories have been under attack by the woke for quite a while, long before they tried to appropriate Tolkien with Rings of Power.
The fantasy that is controlled by the woke is an extension to their attack on religion, because to them a fantasy story is no different than a bible. Mythological presentation, symbolic themes, a dream-like world to present morals to follow; the entire thing has been used by Brandon to then have him later claim that he’s always had fairy characters since the beginning. Sure, his religion says fairies are bad, but then he virtue signals by claiming he’s always made fiction about how they’re good. He would never say this if the publishing world made sense and if publishers were the way they were in the 1950s. That is because he would never have to choose between religion and money back then, with money always mattering more to the typical materialist.
I’m sure people will say that I’m being hard on Christians, or that I’m evil for saying this, or even that I am a satanist for noticing. These people would only be angry at the truth being said, which is the opposite of what Christianity teaches. Fantasy writers, like Brandon, have a lot of supporters, with this support merging between the woke and Mormons. So many feel that they need to make sense of their fandom, so they claim their religion is wokeness, converting it into blind Satanism. This is far from the truth and we need to condemn those who focus solely on radical subjectivity.
Especially if they blame God for their stupid takes, like how Brandon does now.

Three years after the COVID-19 pandemic, it's clear that work can sometimes be done without an office. Many people work from home or have chosen the hybrid methods of work. But along with this change comes a new issue: more people are taking on extra work outside their primary job.
What is Employee Moonlighting?
Moonlighting refers to having a second job or doing a side job along with a full-time job. However, it can benefit employees; it can pose challenges for employers.
This blog post will examine moonlighting, why people do it, and how it affects businesses. We will discuss its positives and negatives and advise companies on managing it using remote employee monitoring tools. The aim is to help businesses better understand moonlighting and effectively address it in their workplaces.
Reasons for Increasing Employee Moonlighting
Moonlighting, or having a side job, is becoming more common for a few critical reasons. These reasons are the main things pushing this trend and include:

• Needing More Money

Many people want extra cash to cover their bills as life gets pricier. Moonlighting helps them earn more and feel financially safer.

• Using Talents

Moonlighting often means doing something you're good at or love that you don't do in your primary job. People might have hobbies or skills they want to explore outside of work.

• Remote Working

Working from home makes having side gigs alongside your main job easier. Fitting other jobs around your main schedule is simpler when you can work from anywhere.

• Following Passions

Many people have creative or business dreams they want to pursue outside of their regular jobs. Moonlighting lets them explore these passions without risking their primary income.

• Flexibility

Side gigs often offer more flexibility in schedule and workload than regular jobs. This flexibility appeals to people who like having control over their time.

• Multiple Income Sources

Several income sources can make you feel more secure in an uncertain economy. Moonlighting lets you earn from different places, not just one.

• Paying Off Debt

With more and more people dealing with student loans and other debts, having a side gig can help pay off loans faster and get out of debt sooner.

• Career Growth

Some people use side jobs to learn new things or meet new people who can help them advance in their careers. Whether freelancing or taking on part-time work in a different field, moonlighting can be a smart career move.

• Testing Business Ideas

For people who dream of starting their own business, having a side job allows them to test their ideas and see if they will grow without quitting their job. It's a way to measure interest and attract customers while still earning from their regular jobs.
While employee moonlighting offers various benefits, it also challenges employers, including potential conflicts of interest, productivity concerns, and compliance issues. However, remote employee management software can effectively manage these challenges.
Effective Strategies for Managing Moonlighting
Dealing with moonlighting in remote or hybrid work setups can take time and effort. Remote work tracking software like Talygen ensures employees remain focused and engaged in their primary roles. Here are some ways companies can handle it:

• Set Clear Rules

Make sure everyone knows the rules about moonlighting. Policies should say when it's okay and when it's not. For example, moonlighting might be allowed if it doesn't interfere with someone's main job.

• Talk Openly

Encourage people to talk to their bosses about their side jobs and help employers and leaders sort out any problems early on.

• Keep an Eye Out

Regular check-ins can help managers identify employees struggling to manage their jobs.

• Be Flexible

Offer flexible schedules so people can balance their time better.

• Learn and Grow

Encourage people to grow within their primary job, making them less likely to seek other work.

• Teach Everyone

Help everyone understand the rules and why they matter, which can stop problems before they start.

• Use Tech Tools

Tools that track what people are doing can help spot any issues early on.

• Offer Support

Give people support if they are finding it hard to manage their jobs. It could be counseling or flexible hours.

• Be a Role Model

Show that it's okay to have a life outside of work, setting an excellent example for everyone.

• Stay Ethical

Ensure everyone knows what's okay and what's not regarding side jobs, and keep things fair and honest for everyone.
Conclusion
Moonlighting is a growing trend in the workplace today, presenting both opportunities and challenges for companies. Integrating remote work tracking software with live webcam screenshots is crucial to address this phenomenon. This technology offers invaluable benefits, such as boosting productivity. However, organizations must adopt these tools to be better positioned to manage moonlighting effectively and foster a productive and harmonious work environment.

Fuck music, retire
Drake has accomplished everything he could’ve possibly set out to accomplish and more. He won’t ever get the credit he deserves, so why keep putting your effort and hard labor into creating for people that will bash you at any opportunity?
Write 1 final album, then retire
Drake has spoken in the recent past about making a “graceful exit”. And he hinted several times over the past year that he was done with music (he tried to make it seem like it was a “break” but at other times would say “retire” and “quit” which leads me to believe it was a lot more than a break). Perhaps he makes one “final” album and wipes his hands of the music industry.
Long hiatus
After 15 years of consistent album releases, features, and singles, perhaps Drake could benefit from being “missed”. I’m skeptical that this would work for Drake specifically because of how much hate he gets if people would just use his hiatus as a way to spin a narrative that K**drick forced him away.
Fuck rap, go pop/country/other genre
If rap rejects his place within the rap culture, perhaps genre shifting (a la Post Malone) would be beneficial for him. He did this in 2016 after the Meek Mill beef and it was one of the most successful years of his career. Perhaps a Morgan Wallen collab, since they’re already acquainted.
Increase/decrease output
Continue to make music but either make and release more of it or less of it.
Change the content of the music
Change the content of his music. Not go full 4:44 but maybe a more introspective album like Scorpion (which wasn’t well received but I believe is an amazing album). Not sure how much his content can change considering his lifestyle, though.
Also curious on how he will handle discussing things going on. Does he continue to sneak diss? Does he avoid talking about the whole industry trying to collapse on top of him?
Stop all collaborations
No friends in the industry. No more stimulus checks, just focus on solo music.
Focus on hits
Focus on making smash radio hits going forward. Drake hasn’t even attempted to do this since 2018. Barely sends his songs to radio and doesn’t make a lot of radio friendly music anymore. Similar to 2018 and 2016, Drake wrote some of his biggest hits immediately after his “beefs” (in my feelings, nonstop, hotline bling, one dance)
Focus on writing for other artists
Despite popular belief, Drake is a generational writer. The man can make unbelievable records for other artists. I think that him writing for other artists opens him up a little bit more because he’s writing from someone else’s perspective. So you get a great sound without the same Drake content.
Business as usual
Drake doesn’t change anything at all, just operates the way he always has.

Right below this post on my overview page, you'll see a serious, sober reply I gave to somebody's perhaps not altogether serious question about galaxies named "Snickers," bringing up a mildly interesting tidbit from the History of Astronomy. Read it there, because you'll never be able to see it anywhere else. It was deleted, almost instantly, with no reason given, a perfect example of what can happen on a site adults use to discuss serious matters, when the adolescents are so often in charge.
If you are new to Reddit, no, that was not a snarky joke. So-called "power mods" have, in the past, turned out to be minors, well under the age of 18, nothing more than dull-witted children with far too much time on their hands, and an overpowering desire to be in control. When governmental policy was being set in keeping with the consenses set by the social media mobs, a few years ago, these are the people who effectively had the power to decide who would be free to speak about what, and about how full grown adults would be forced to conduct their affairs - the sort of adolescents that, in the days before the Internet was invented, would have been shunned by their peers, and with good reason.
I went to mention this most recent moderator power flex on RedditCensors, and discovered that it had been banned by Reddit, which I understand has created a rule that prohibits public complaints about a moderator's abuse of power - literally, an anti-transparency rule. Those are inherently corrupt and on a platform where freedom of speech is effectively put to a vote through the downvoting process, corrupting.
If it ever was anything else, Reddit has become a place where neurotic teens and tweens have gone to live out their dreams of power, as they've been allowed to control the public consensus by being given the ability to quietly silence the voices of dissent with their mad reign of error. Some tried to excuse this inexcusable reality, a few years ago, by mentioning the stress so many people were under due to the "Pandemic," and arguing that free and open discussion of serious issues would be more than people could cope with during the drama, and perhaps they would again, but let us be serious. That was a nonsensical defense even then, and 2024 is not 2020. Sanity might not have returned, but the panic has passed, and at this point there can be no serious question about Reddit's role in that time of panic. The admins and mods eagerly got down and dirty to encourage that panic and haven't reformed, since.
Strictly speaking, this has cost Reddit its safe harbor protection, since it is in no way running a neutral platform, but we already know how much the law matters when a large Internet firm breaks it - not at all. By now, we all know that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and those hearings of his are a joke. They are there to defuse anger, not to start any real sort of move toward justice.
One could respond to this ugly reality by jumping over to a supposedly uncensored platform - like Gab, to cite the best known example. But when one goes to that supposed alternative to the censorious lunacy of Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, et al., what does one find? Literal neo-Nazis, flat earth conspiracy theories and endless death threats and targeted harassment, while the staff looks the other way and refuses to enforce its own rules, because the founder is, himself, not so far from being a Nazi, himself. To attempt to have a serious discussion there would be like breaking into a gathering of the Ku Klux Klan, and trying to have a town hall meeting during it.
At some point, one has to be willing to see that something has been tried and proven to be such a trainwreck, so consistently, that to put much more time and effort into it would seem like madness. That is how I've come to see the social web, and perhaps even the Internet in general. You can see the links to my other sites and you're welcome to follow me on them, but I'm not sure that I'm ever going to bother to post to them, because I'm at a loss when I try to think of a good reason for doing so. Certainly, I incur a massive opportunity cost by getting down in the trenches with the losers - compare what I was getting paid to answer student's questions about Mathematics in the real world ($120/ hour as an independent tutor before Covid) with what I get here, where I get repaid only in aggravation. In person, at an art fair, I can be (and have been) approached by the editor of a literary journal and asked to submit. Online, if I'm lucky, I'll see a fraction of the audience I'd get at an open mic night, run into censorship because somebody with well developed psychiatric problems though he sensed a hidden agenda behind my words, and then get to deal with scrapers afterwards.
The Internet has, for the most part, neither proved a pleasant, nor a profitable, nor a productive experience, so why get deeply invested in it, at all? I'll be shutting down my groups on this and other sites, as I reduce the role of the Internet in my life to being what it should always have been: a place for posting announcements, along maybe with a tiny amount of free content as a loss leader, in order to get other people to link to the page with my event announcements and other notices. I'm going to turn off the computer and get back outside, more, as I really should have back in 2020. As everybody should have, really.
The Internet, properly used, is a bulletin board, not a community. Life was better when people remembered it, and for me, it's going to be better, again. If other people want to go on being immersed in a miserable, futile effort to succeed where all others have failed before for structural reasons, they're free to do so, but I think they'll find that other serious people will be making the same choice I have, and for the same reasons. The power mods will still be there, and so will the trolls, but when they're nearly all that remains, when the Internet is firmly linked to the craziest members of society in the minds of the general public, just how much influence will it go on having?
Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. Over and out, for now, and probably permanently. There's a nice, sunny day waiting for me, just outside my window and I'm going to go enjoy it.

Before I get into it, I don’t want a divorce so please don’t suggest it. Also, please don’t judge too harshly. I’m imperfect and so is my husband. Because of that we have an imperfect relationship, but we love and appreciate each other deeply.
Me (23f) and my husband (30m) have been married for just over a year. We got married when I was 22 and dated for 2 years, so our relationship began when I was 20. I grew up in a devoutly religious family, and for most of my life I was just as devout. This meant no drinking, smoking weed, or premarital sex. That is, until I met my now husband. My husband never pressured me into doing any of these things, but he started to invite me and I started to join. This lead me to feeling a lot of religious guilt, but it also started to make me challenge what I had been taught for years.
While navigating our relationship I had to also keep up with college and work, deal with my mental health issues (I have bipolar II), and try to manage this faith crisis I had suddenly found myself in. It didn’t help that I had told my family we had premarital sex (yes, I told them. No, I probably shouldn’t have). So on top of everything else, I felt a lot of pressure from my family to get married so I wasn’t “living in sin”. Additionally, my husband and I were attending a religious school and could be kicked out if we were caught having sex (we could have gone to a different school, but this one was cheap and he was 1 semester away from graduating. I chose to go to this school when I was still a devout member. Many of the religion classes I was required to take would not transfer to other schools. This is why we chose to stay there).
We ended up getting married, and I love my husband. I have finally graduated from that college, and now feel regret about getting married so young. I dated only a few boys before my husband, who was my first boyfriend. I’m also bisexual and never really got to experience that side of myself. I’ve expressed these feelings of regret to my husband and he’s sympathetic, but he doesn’t completely understand. He’s had multiple long term relationships and a handful of sexual partners. I’m not jealous of his past partners, just that he got to have those experiences.
He has told me that he wouldn’t mind experimenting with ENM, and I did have one experience with a girl with his explicit consent. It was fun, but I don’t think I’m in the right place to continue experimenting with that (I am in therapy and I take medications to help manage my symptoms, but I still have a lot to work through).
I apologize for the long backstory, I guess I’m just wondering if you guys can relate or have any advice on how to deal with these emotions? I feel sort of stunted in that area of my life, but it might be because I’m stuck in the mindset of the grass is always greener…

I’ve been in this relationship for six years now. it was going great right before we had our child and we’ve hit a rough patch, which is a story in itself. That has been rough very rough for me. It’s gotten to a point where there’s isn’t any available daycare for our son so I can actually work. I had a job that I got at a daycare, but it ended up falling through because of sit situations out of my hand. And that was the only option that I opened myself up to being. I never wanted to be a daycare teacher. So we haven’t had any daycare I’ve called around I’m on waiting lists. Some places aren’t even bothering to answer the phone or reply back to me. my partner works a seasonal job that’s whether depending. And he hasn’t been making all that much a year with this job. Initially he wanted me to stay home and take care of our son which I did for the first year but he didn’t cover all of my bills. He just paid for my car bills. Everything else I took care of with the exception of rent which is extremely low. We were only paying 800 for rent at that time and for this last year we’ve been paying 1000. And the electricity which isn’t that much either we have to pay for this year but prior we didn’t have the $800 rent. this is the first time he’s ever lived on his own and it’s also a surprise child we did not plan for. I get he’s having some sort of issues. But I feel like I should be the one working and I’ve mentioned this to him multiple times and it doesn’t seem to be something he’s on board with even though I would bring in more money. The job I had give me 41,000 a year minimum and I always had overtime which that does not include. Currently the last two years that he’s been working for this company he’s only brought in $25,000 on the books and maybe an additional 5000 from other side jobs and another guy he works with off the books. For the last year I’ve been covering all my bills and since losing my job in February I went through my savings, my very small tax return and now I don’t have anything. I was forced to use my credit cards in order to pay some of my bills and yes I’m sure you all cringed hearing that I’ve ruined my credit paying my bills and I’m trying to work on consolidating them. It’s manageable for me to get out of this I am working. I’ve mentioned to him, and he seems reluctant. And I’ve also mentioned that that I could screw him over and make it so he couldn’t leave for work. Since my job requires me to be at work by 3 o’clock in the morning to start baking I would be leaving three hours prior to him even getting up to get ready for work. He doesn’t seem to care that I am financially dependent on him right now, because our son doesn’t have daycare available and no one to watch him. Would I be an asshole to do this to him? I could be making more money paying the bills and not be struggling. I don’t see the problem in that. he has a drinking issue he’s definitely an alcoholic and he wouldn’t be able to do that while taking care of our son. Would it be a rude thing to do to your partner when they are financially screwing you over while you’re taking care of the child? Maybe I’m out of line some outside perspective might be nice. We’ve had a rough time the last two years together. He’s been absent for most of the time, and when he is here, he’s glued to his phone and still drunk or drinking. Would leaving for work and just leaving him screwed with his job make me an asshole? he is screwing me over financially?

I replaced the ball bearings in my bicycle's freehub recently and decided to take a spontaneous ride through the eastern German countryside to see if my repair had been worth the time. As I set out, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the flowers were blooming. It was a Sunday, so everyone and their grandmother was out cruising on their cumbersome E-bikes, their knees jutting out to both sides due to saddle heights optimized for pulling on the throttle instead of pedaling. This had the added benefit of taking up as much space as possible on the roadway. After self-righteously overtaking a group of beer-gutted mountain bikers, I was humbled by the sound of a wrench falling out of my saddlebag onto the cobbles that had shaken it loose. The group passed me by as I paced, head hung low, looking for the wrench. Another E-biker traveling in the other direction kindly stopped to help. After a short while, my wrench now found and firmly fastened, we went our separate ways.
Villages are often compact in Germany - you will breeze through wide-open fields and sparsely-developed forests before jarringly entering a 9ft-wide gauntlet with nothing but gapless concrete-colored house walls and wooden entrance gates on either side of you until you have made it through. That, and light-blue AfD (Alternative for Germany) election posters hung about 6-10ft up on lightposts. Going through these villages, you get the impression that the AfD is the established party and the others are the newcomers. I saw a single Die Linke (The Left) poster ("Those who must flee should find refuge!") on the ride; 70% were from the AfD and most of the rest were single-issue parties (animal rights, antisenescence research) or the glowie WerteUnion (Values Union). The AfD's slogans seemed to stick to a three-concept guideline: "Make construction easier!", "Agriculture instead of solar parks!". Another stuck out to me: "Re-imagine Europe!". I am a voteless immigrant along for the ride.
I did some reimagining of my route as my legs began to cramp, and I headed for the nearest city with a train station. I got on the Deutsche Bahn going home with two minutes to spare. By chance, a friend returning from a camping trip was also on the train, so I sat with him. I used to take the same train multiple times per month to visit my girlfriend years ago. Some things had changed: now an autistic German man will mutter something about coffee as he walks by - if you are quick, you can buy some. His son, sitting beside of the mobile coffee stand across from us, gave excited commentary to my friend's camping stories between playing something on his phone and secretly downing packets of sugar from the stand. A burly German woman checked our tickets - now, an even burlier, Central Asian bearded man with a security vest stood close behind her and watched for sudden moves. The Indian students and leopard-printed Eastern European women we shared the car with didn't make any trouble.
After another connection, I made it to my stop, got some American-style fried chicken from a Syrian restaurant and got a beer from a kiosk. The friendly tattooed German guy who used to work here has been replaced part-time by a disinterested Arab who can't be arsed to tell me the price out loud. Finally, I sat down to eat at home, but my enjoyment was interrupted by the angry buzzing of a Japanese hornet flying into the kitchen.

So I’m gonna try to keep this as short as possible cause if I go into too much detail this is gonna take everyone half an hour to read.
So my (26f) dad left my mom in September 2022. They had been married for 27 years by that time. It was a very rocky relationship to say the least and by the end of it they both pretty much hated each other. They had a business together which made things super complicated and the way my dad left wasn’t awesome either (Basically left while she was on vacation, which she had planned with a friend of hers that my dad was supposed to join as well but never really wanted to). Anyways so that was almost a year and a half ago. My mom took being left (understandably) hard and basically spent almost a year just lying on the couch crying and being miserable. It didn’t help that she was out of a job and they couldn’t figure out a way to communicate at all. I tried to help in every way that I could, both financially as well as trying to help them communicate. My mom kept the house they bought and my dad left to stay at the place he inherited from his dad which they had been busy renovating. I was still living with my mom up until recently cause I am studying/doing an apprenticeship (just the way the degree works here) atm which costs a shit ton of money and doesn’t pay very well yet so I couldn’t really afford to move out and it was convenient. So I saw all of the drama first hand and as I said helped out as much as I could. During the time my mom lashed out at me a lot which wasn’t great but I understand her being upset. However, everytime I went to visit my dad and she noticed it went from “If you do then I might not be here when you come back” kind of suicide threats to her not talking to me for days/weeks, depending on the time and definitely a lot of guilt tripping and name calling. Ive seen my dad max once every one to two months for the past year and a half. Lately I’ve just started lying to my mom about where I’m going but since most of my friends live close by and we don’t usually go on overnight trips I had to tell her the truth about the last trip. She naturally freaked out, told me to go F**k myself, that I’m a traitor, disloyal, don’t have any empathy for her, am completely on my dads’ side and so on. Eventually she told me to move out, which I have now done thanks to my grandma (my moms purely evil mother-in-law /s) who has offered me her appartment for almost nothing until I can afford something of my own. So anyways, my question is, am I the asshole for still seeing my dad and “betraying” my mom? She says he ruined her life and if I was at all loyal, I’d support her by not seeing him (and the evil mother-in-law) at all anymore. Well or convince him (no matter how) to come back. There is A LOT more to their relationship and their separation but since that’s not 100% relevant I didn’t go into too much detail but will answer any questions if needed.

I (41F) live in Montana and a few years ago I was forced to relocate after my landlord decided to rent to her son. The community I had lived in for 11.5 years has become incredibly expensive ($787,000 median home price). Unfortunately, I was forced to relocate to another city and because of the unexpected move and associated costs, I moved in with a roommate. My roommate left to pursue better job prospects about three months after I moved in. Our unit was a triplex, so there were two gentlemen that inhabited the other units. I was never added to the lease as the property manager required a full deposit and I was not in a financially healthy spot at the time. I remained in the unit for 1.5 years on my own paying the rent and utilities.
I became very good friends with the man in the unit closest to mine. We will call the man Devin (52M). Devin was a disabled veteran in recovery. I also am a veteran, so he held a soft spot in my heart. We shared meals, hung out and discussed all of life’s mysteries, and would look out for one another. Devin had gone to treatment for 6-weeks, and I had watched his cat while he was gone. Our friendship developed over the course of 1.5 years. Devin had expressed romantic interest; however, right from the beginning I clearly informed Devin that I did not share those feelings and we would never be more than good friends.
Devin seemed to be lonely, which made sense; however, I am a person who requires alone time to recharge my batteries. I set strict boundaries for Devin as he wanted to hang out all of the time. I would catch him walking through the front yard multiple times a day to “get the mail,” which I believed was to see if I was outside so he could stop to chat. When I would leave in the morning to go to work, Devin was always outside to tell me I looked nice and to have a good day. I told him that made me feel uncomfortable and he should just send a text letting me know if he wanted to hang out and wait for a response. There were a couple of times I yelled at him for overstepping my boundaries. The first, I had just got home and pulled into my garage. I was on a phone call and had stayed in the car, Devin looked through the garage window to see if I was home. I was annoyed but didn’t really think much of it. The second, I was getting dressed in my room in the Summer, so the window was cracked. I felt this was safe as the window was not in a place that anyone should be walking by as it was on my patio at the back of the home. I caught Devin peeking through. I lost it. I let Devin know under no uncertain terms his behavior was inappropriate and that if he didn’t respect my boundaries, we would no longer be friends.
Last year, while I was still in the home, I had asked Devin to watch my dog for a couple of days so I could go to a family event out of state. Devin was happy to help, and I was very appreciative. Not long after I returned, I started to notice strange things in my home, but I really just thought it was me. For instance, I would be fairly certain I had locked my door in the morning when I left for work, but when I returned it would be unlocked. I would be sure I had shut off all the lights, but when I got home in the evening, one would be on. I really just thought it was absentmindedness.
Fast forward a couple of months, and my mom became sick with cancer. My sister watched my dog while I went to tend to my mom. My sister reached out to me and asked if anyone else had a key to my apartment. I let her know she had the only spare key but asked why. Similarly, she had experienced the same issues with lights and locks. I had not shared my concerns with my sister prior to her communicating hers with me as I really just doubted my own sanity. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Devin asking if I had a potato he could borrow. I let him know I was out of state with my mom who was sick. Devin did not reply, which was out of character, but I had noticed a change in Devin’s affect – he was more reserved and less friendly towards me. I thought it probably had to do with my firm adherence to my boundaries, which was okay. He didn’t have to like them, just respect them.
When I got back to town, one night I stayed over at my sister's house after helping her move. As mentioned above, I was struggling financially, so I would carefully budget and plan my weekly meals. The morning before my sister’s move, I had placed three pieces of bacon into a Ziploc bag to be used later for a BLT. When I returned the following morning, much to my disbelief, there were only two pieces of bacon. I held the bag in my hands KNOWING that there had been three. No longer did I doubt myself. I called my sister and let her know that someone had been getting into my house (I ALWAYS) keep the place locked. The only logical thing that could have happened is Devin made a copy of my key when he had watched my dog in the Fall. My sister reminded me about the potato text – THE POTATO IN THE COUNTER BASKET WAS GONE!
I had enough information to be certain my neighbor had violated my trust and was no friend; however, I still wasn’t afraid of him. As I mentioned, he is a disabled vet and was somewhat feeble and sickly. I was not scared of a confrontation. I immediately went to the hardware store and purchased a camera that steams to your phone once the motion detector has been activated. I placed it facing the side door where Devin would enter. It also had two-way audio capability so my plan was that when Devin decided to enter my home again, I would see it and say over the camera something to the effect of, “get the fuck out of my house, put the key you copied on the counter, and never try to speak with me again or I will contact law enforcement.” As I wrote above, I was not on the lease, and did not want to be homeless, so I could not turn to the property manager for help and Devin knew it.
In the evenings, I started placing a jug of cat litter and a kitchen chair in front of the door that I knew Devin was accessing the apartment from, but I NEVER expected he would attempt to come in while I was at home and really, he had only taken a piece of uncooked bacon and a potato. Laying on the couch one night, watching TV, I thought that I had heard something sliding on the floor in the laundry room where the door was; but I knew there was no way he would come in while I was home. My cat was running around playing, so I decided it was probably just her and I was being paranoid because of all that had happened.
The next morning, while changing my laundry, I noticed the litter and chair had been pushed 3-4 inches. I checked the sensitivity of the camera and found that I was able to replicate by slowly opening the door. DEVIN TRIED TO COME IN WHILE I WAS HOME! WHY?! That morning, I took bear spray into the shower with me while my knees knocked. I was terrified. I felt vulnerable and violated. Devin knew that I knew now also. He knew that I had placed a barrier in front of the door. After that morning, he was never outside in the morning, nor did he walk through the yard to get his mail. I obtained a firearm for protection and did make a police report. The police officer was annoyed with me as I did not want him to approach Devin as all Devin would need to do is report me to the property manager and I would be homeless.
I am grateful that whatever he was up to was apparently thwarted. The fact that he tried to come in while he knew I was home gives me the heebie-jeebies. I wonder if he went through my underwear, watched me while I slept, etc. Since, my situation has greatly improved. I ended up moving out shortly after to take care of my mom. I got my own place again a few months ago. I will never put my trust in another neighbor for pet/house sitting again. It still blows my mind that I had some douche bag stealing from and likely stalking me. This story just solidifies one should always trust their gut. There were so many times that a red flag was screaming, and I just thought I was being crazy.

We've been together for around 2 years and moved in together 6 months ago. Like all relationships, there have been some ups and downs, but generally, everything has been okay so far. (I will touch on this later in my post.)
Backstory relevant to the issue: About 1.5 years ago, my girlfriend and a female friend went on a 2-week vacation. They met a group of 3 brothers there, who were all their age and from the same country, so they got along well and exchanged contacts. One of the guys, let's call him Tim, was my girlfriend’s age, and they seemed to get along.
Since then, they met as a group a couple of times, nothing too crazy, just hanging out and catching up. Fast forward to yesterday, a festival took place in our city, and the group of guys was there. My girlfriend and our friend group went to the festival and met up with the guys.
They sat, chatted, and spent some time together. At one point, Tim started chatting with my girlfriend. She expressed to him that a female friend of hers (who was there that day) always takes all the attention, which makes her feel insecure. Tim assured her that she didn’t need to think that way and that she’s beautiful as she is. They then went silent for a bit, and he asked her if everything was alright. She proceeded to tell him that she felt some sort of connection and was “attracted to him in that moment.” After a bit of silence, she regretted what she said, told him it was the wrong thing to say, and maybe alcohol played a role. He assured her it was okay and that she might have felt this way because of what happened that day.
I should mention that I’ve been working a lot for the past 5 months on a project and have had very little time to spend with anyone, let alone my girlfriend. She later mentioned that she has been missing me and that might have played a role in her confusion of feelings that day.
Fast forward to today, he messaged her asking about the photos she took that day and engaged in small chat. She then told him that it would be better if they restricted contact because she loves me and if they happen to encounter each other, she wouldn’t mind saying hi but other than that, he shouldn’t expect anything. He said he understands, and that’s how the conversation ended.
I’ve been holding the opinion that she should block everything that has to do with him and the male group they met. She believes that what she has done is enough and there is no need to block him since he didn’t do anything wrong, and she already told him she doesn’t want further contact.
Furthermore, we’ve been having our fair share of discussions and differences. One major issue is that we have significantly different sex drives, which we've been trying to work on for a very long time. Another issue is her physical health; she has always preferred staying at home over engaging in physical activities, which has affected her weight, confidence, and self-esteem. Personally, I don’t care if she’s a bit overweight, but for her, it’s been a huge source of stress and insecurity. I’ve never forced her to do anything, but I always invite her to go to the gym with me or participate in outdoor sports if she’s interested.
I am not sure how to feel about the whole situation. She’s been very clear in telling me how much she loves me and that this was a huge mistake on her part. She wants to work to fix it and work on all the points I’ve mentioned. On the other hand, I feel like with regard to this situation, it’s been difficult to process. Regarding the other differences, I feel like we might’ve reached a dead end since she’s been saying she wants to work on these things but with no significant improvement yet. Recently, she went to the gym a couple of times with her female friend, but that’s about it. She’s asking for one last chance to work on everything.
Unfortunately, I have no one to talk to about this topic. This is why I need your help and feedback. I appreciate all the feedback I can get. Thank you all very much in advance.
TL;DR: My girlfriend confessed she felt an attraction to a friend at a festival due to feeling insecure and missing me. She restricted contact with him but didn't block him. We've had ongoing issues with different sex drives and her physical health. She wants to work on our relationship, but I'm unsure if we can overcome these problems.

Sorry for the word vomit that is about to follow. It’s a wall of text and I apologize. <••••••••>
I’m having this dilemma rn 🫠 I’m def trans-masc, but I was leaning more to masc-nonbinary bc I think I might be repping a bit and not allowing myself to think abt identifying more as a guy. I’ve had demiboy whispering (and now screaming) in my head for a few years, and I feel like that’s what I would want to be. I have voice and top dysphoria, I don’t like my name or being identified with female/fem identifications so much it makes me nauseous (minus being referred to as “mom” to my pets). I look very fem and ppl just assume, i get it, but at least a good handful of my coworkers and all my friends have really started using they/them for me since the new year started but none of my family does. I’ve already (not legally) changed my name 2 years ago (a shorter version of my deadname that’s more gender neutral) and my family and friends all call me by it…. but… okay this’ll sound crazy, lmk if I’m crazy… I’ve had this other person in my head since elementary school … and he is me and I am him and he goes by a different name and uses he/they and he’s everything I want to be. (Damn writing that has me in tears, was not expecting that). He’s changed a bit over the ears with me as my interests and goal of what piercings or tats I want change but overall he’s been the same. He’s me but better. And a guy. Or well a demiboy technically.
I’m too scared to look into medically transitioning right now, and I tried binding but since I’m a bigger person it didn’t work out very well. I’ve started my weight loss journey a week ago so I’m hoping this will help in my binding attempts. I’ve been coping by using meladaptive daydreaming as my escape, so I can be the guy in my head w/o feeling too.. like.. like I’m contaminating him? I worry that if I try to medically transition, I wont be exactly the guy in my head and my attempt would be a mockery of him. Again he’s still me just.. I might’ve idolized him after all these years 😅.
(not scared of my family- they are accepting, if not a little confused and I genuinely just don’t have the patience or the right words to explain it. Plus i feel like my dad would think it’s a bad idea to be trans/identify as trans bc it’ll turn me into a target. He would probably think its not logical and i would be taking unnecessary risk. He says stuff like I shouldn’t put pride stickers or my Baphomet sticker on my caanywhere where the public eye can see bc it’ll make me a target, but I already am one by existing, even if I was cis-het I would still be one so.. idk. My dad is kind and means well, but he’s very efficient and see’s most things as inefficient and will always discourage it)
Not to mention, I have a new coworker WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE GUY IN MY HEAD AND EVEN GOES BY THE SAME NAME!!! It scared me so much and idk how to talk to him sometimes. Saying his name makes my stomach churn.
I’m sorry to anyone who reads this, it’s just a huge repper’s rant by now. I’m a bit self aware but also too anxious to try. There’s a lot HRT would fix for me (voice, muscle mass, eventual top surgery), but theres some (like skin health, smell, and hair loss/hair growth) that I don’t really want.. are there any gels or pills for the hair loss part? I already have a massive forehead, I don’t want it any bigger.
Again I’m sorry. I’ve heard of others complaining abt the same thing and this community being absolutely done with it lol. If you’ve made it this far, I hope you have a good day 💕

I really love the new update for the game, and it's got me excited for what's to come next. I'm at NG+ 12 (lost count honestly), with a lot of hours logged, and I've got a lot of feedback for what would make the game a lot better. I know some of this has been said on this subreddit already, but I think it's worth saying again in the hopes that Bethesda is reading this while they start working on the next big update.
First, I would love a more difficult hunger and thirst mechanic, similar to Fallout 4 and New Vegas. In the current update, you either gain a static buff or debuff, depending on whether your character is satisfied or hungry/thirsty. However, Fallout 4 and NV had systems where the debuff got worse if you went longer and longer without food/water, up until player death. IMO this added much more depth to the game, and Starfield would be far more interesting if it had this as an option. This could be implemented as just another option on the sustenance difficulty settings, perhaps an "extreme" mode. A harsher sustenance system would also incentivize players to use outposts to generate crafting ingredients for food.
Second, we need the ability to scrap weapons and spacesuits for parts and materials. Currently, there is little incentive to pick up 99% of weapons and spacesuits that you find. An ability to scrap equipment at relevant workbenches would give the player an incentive to actually pick these up, because they can be a source of valuable parts that can be used to craft other things, just like how it works in Fallout 4. Additionally, it would be great if we could also upgrade lower-tier weapons/spacesuits ('refined', etc.) into higher-tier (advanced, etc.).
Third, I would love the ability to craft spaceship parts/modules/habs at outpost ship builders. It's great that we can purchase parts at spaceports, but the game is missing a great opportunity for a crafting system. I want the ability to spend (large) quantities of raw materials and rare parts to craft new modules for my ship. For balancing purposes, these ship modules should cost a lot of resources. For further balancing, and to encourage outpost usage, I also think that the ship module crafting should be limited to outpost shipbuilder landing pads only. I think this could also pair nicely with scrapable weapons and spacesuits, since you could scrap guns for rare parts that can be used for crafting a better ship cannon, for example. Also, I want the ability to scrap spaceship parts/modules/habs for materials and parts as well. I want to be able to take a ship that I salvaged/hijacked and scrap it for parts that I can use to craft habs for my other ships.
Finally, and I know this has been said here before, but I really think this game needs to add in the ship fuel mechanic that we all know they were working on but removed. This could also be an optional difficulty setting. FTL travel from system to system should spend some portion of your fuel reserves. How much fuel is spent should depend on how far the destination is, but also your ship build. For example, more expensive grav drives could improve fuel efficiency, but increasing your ship's mass too much could reduce fuel efficiency. Of course, adding more fuel tanks could increase fuel capacity. This could be as simple as adding a panel to the cockpit that functions as a container that only accepts He-3, and allows the player to deposit or withdraw He-3.
There are probably other features that could improve the game that I'm not thinking of, but these are the ones that I personally feel would make the game way better. I know Bethesda's team reads this subreddit so I am writing this post specifically for their eyes. Thanks for reading!
TL;DR: Would be nice to have Fallout 4-like survival difficulty options, scrappable weapons/spacesuits, craftable ship habs/modules, and limited ship fuel survival difficulty.

We recently just spent the weekend on a little getaway with another couple who we are pretty close with. They’re 2 years younger than us, we are late twenties.
I regret to say I came home from the vacation feeling bitter and angry about our relationship. I know that I should not compare, and I know that what people display on the outside is not always the truth behind closed doors. But all these platitudes don’t help me when I get stuck in this negative cycle of thinking.
The wife of the other couple we were with has been diagnosed with depression for the same amount of time as my wife. A few years. Medicated similarly as well. When she shared this with us I swear my mouth could have hit the floor.
This? This is what depression can also look like? I thought to myself.
This woman is working while getting her phd, runs marathons, contributes to volunteer organizations, and regularly props her husband up as the supportive and caring guy that he is.
On the flip side, if I don’t cut the crust off my wife’s sandwich for her work lunch she’ll just leave it in the bag whole and have me throw the whole thing away when she gets home. She will sit on the couch for 7 hours after work. She blames me for a lot of the things she doesn’t like about herself despite my unwavering commitment to support her through it all.
After spending a weekend with these people I was just stunned at what depression can look like. I know that the majority of depressed people aren’t out here getting their doctorates and running marathons, and I know I shouldn’t be comparing my partner to anyone as her struggles are hers and hers alone, but you know what I couldn’t help it. For once I allowed myself to think “what if your life could have looked like that” and all I could do was cry, then get over it because I had a house to take care of while she watches her third movie of the day.
I’m feeling angry, resentful and just plain bitter right now. I just needed to air this out somewhere so I can go continue to be the same supportive husband I’ve always been.

Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read about my situation.
For the Spring 2024 semester, I was accepted into a research program at my university. The way the application process works is you are given several different research topics/teams to express your level of interest in. They use this information to help better decide which team to place you in (assuming you are accepted into the program). The structure of each team consists of: 3-4 undergraduate students; a graduate student that mentors and guides the team; and a professor who is faculty who supervises the project.
Throughout the duration of this semester, my team and I have gotten quite familiar with the work we were doing. The professor was rarely a part of our weekly discussion meetings, so it was really the graduate mentor and the undergraduate students working together. While still maintaining the professionalism of conducting research, there was also casual and light-hearted banter that we felt comfortable with.
The research project is primarily focused on mathematics research, but it does require computer programming experience as well. My girlfriend is a computer science major and would sometimes sit in during our weekly meetings to see the research we were doing. I thought that maybe she would enjoy seeing what the work is like. It would also help her decide if this is something she sees herself doing next semester. My graduate mentor took note of her possible interest in doing research in the future.
Additional context: my graduate mentor and his girlfriend both study mathematics, and they both spend a lot of time together in the mathematics department. It seems like they feel comfortable mixing in their personal/professional lives together.
At the end of the Spring semester, research applications for the Fall semester opened up. My partner decided she wanted to give it a shot and decided to apply for the research program. I also decided to reapply to continue my research for next semester. Since we get to choose which topics we felt most interested in, my girlfriend chose a topic she felt most interested (pattern formation), and I chose the topic pertaining to my original research interest (AI). I think both of us had different ideas of which one we felt most interested in doing.
My research team decided to have an end-of-semester dinner to celebrate our research project and achievements for this semester (my girlfriend was not there). My graduate mentor told me over dinner that he decided to put her on the same team as me for next semester. I don't really know how I felt hearing that information, I didn't even know he was a part of the decision-making process. I'm sure he thought he was doing a kind gesture by pairing two partners together on the same research team. But I wish he would have asked me if that was something I was okay with. I don't know why, but as much as I liked having her around, I also felt like some boundaries were being mixed? I want to see my partner as a girlfriend, not as a coworker. Additionally, two of the original research members were graduating and wouldn't be there for next semester and another research member is deciding to not continue. So next semester it would just be an entirely new team (and not the one I bonded with this semester).
In the middle of dinner, I texted my girlfriend about the early information I had just received from my graduate mentor. She said, "How does he know? They already decided? Oh brother. *sends an anxious cat GIF rolling around in bed*". I texted her saying how I remembered she wanted to be a part of the other research team, to which she acknowledged and said she was happy to be a part of my research team.
I do care about my partner a lot, and I also wish to have my work life and personal relationship life separate. My partner and I already have our own lives so enmeshed together on campus as it already is. This past semester, I was working part-time as an assistant in the math department. Sometimes my partner would come by and lounge around the same area I am working in. We would also study together on campus, or try to see each other in between classes or go out for lunch together. When we are not on campus, we would drive each other home and spend our nights together. Admittedly, I do feel like my academic performance decreased ever since I started dating her. My studies are something I care about deeply, and I just need my own time and space to focus on that too. If we are on the same research team together, I won't be able to focus on the quality of my work. I would prefer to have time alone to where I can focus on my work. Outside of that, my time is all of hers! We are both very affectionate and spend a lot of quality time together outside of the academic environment.
I don't know what the dynamic would be like between us if we were on the same research team together. Doing research can be kind of stressful sometimes, and I don't want that dynamic to enter our relationship either. At this point, I'm leaning towards not continuing the research project next semester. I don't want the additional stress, I won't have the same team, and I don't want to mix my relationship dynamics with my professional/work life dynamics. Does this make me an asshole, or is this just me setting boundaries for myself? I don't want my girlfriend to feel hurt or that I am abandoning her (she has a fear of abandonment).
I haven't communicated this information to my partner yet, nor have I told my graduate research mentor about how I feel about the situation. I have until the end of the week to make a decision as to whether I want to pursue this research project. What should I do, how should I deliver this and communicate this? If it helps, we met one year ago and have been together for nearly 9 months (6 months of an incredibly long situationship where I wanted us to be official and she wasn't ready, and now 3 months of exclusive relationship/official couple).
TL;DR: Graduate mentor put my GF and I on same research team next semester without asking me beforehand if that was okay. I would prefer to keep my professional work life and my love/relationship life separate.

TL;DR would you tell your supervisor about a very rude voicemail you got from a volunteer at a different department? The content of the call was unprofessional and confrontational. He called me on my personal cell phone and left a voicemail when he was clearly mad at me.
I’m volunteering for a very large organization that requires me to have access to a certain database before I can move along in my training process.
I had problems logging into this account for nearly 2 weeks and I was getting nowhere with my supervisor so I chatted with IT to figure out what was going on. They told me to simply request access to the database for myself.
The next day I get a call from the guy who is responsible for activating the accounts and said that it was “very unusual” for a volunteer to request access for themselves. He blamed the problem on the fact that there’s another volunteer with my name in another state. Even though my email has a 2 at the end of it. 🙄
I hadn’t heard anything about it again for over a week so I contacted IT again. Through some of my training I found out I was supposed to contact a team lead at his department (which I didn’t know at the time since he never told me his title).
This morning I get a voicemail from him with so much attitude!!!! With each statement he gets more riled up. He said he “knows I wanted to escalate it above him and that’s fine” (sarcasm) Then, referring to giving people an answer about when it’s going to happen… “what am I supposed to tell people except “I don’t know””. And the last thing was “well, I was hoping to get ahold of you but I guess that’s not happening”. (sarcasm) Just because I didn’t answer his phone call! I was sleeping!
While I understand he is upset, I don’t find it appropriate for him to leave this sort of message for me. I’m not sure what to do about it, if anything. I’m hoping you can help me bc I’m not thinking straight.

I switched countries this year and this guy who liked me confessed to me after I left how much he liked me in school and how I was his first crush. The funny thing is I liked bro back as well and knew about it, but my friend who I told about this said that he already liked someone else so I gave up and moved on. Now it's like I can't miss a day without talking to him and how much I appreciate his presence.
I regret not asking him out sooner and he does it too, I can't recommend enough how much you should confess to your crush but at the end there is nothing to lose. Yes they might gossip about it with their friend group for a while but if they aren't terrible people they would let it go eventually but don't let it stop you from confessing. Either you can confess now or live with those feelings of regret for the rest of high school.

Hello everyone, thanks for taking the time to read this post. I am looking for some sort of advice in this situation. To broadly frame the situation, I'm in a distant relationship with my boyfriend, we're from the EU but live in different countries. We know each other for about 5 years and it recently got really serious between us, talking about moving and living together, we're both 30. Things between us were honestly better than they've ever been. My BF was diagnosed about a year ago with Bipolarism and is taking medication.
And even though it weighs heavily on his mind, he was excited about moving in together and spending our lives together. As am I. We usually spend a lot of time together online in calls, playing video games, so we could do something together even though we live in different countries. Recently there was a situation where he asked me if there was anything going on with me, if I was moody or feeling down. We had the situation before, where I wouldn't be honest with my feelings in the moment how I am doing, so I am trying to work on that and better myself.
I told him nothing was wrong, that I might sound off because I was feeling a bit tired but he insisted that something was going on.
I told him that I was doing fine, which was the case, and he concluded that either I was lying or that he was being delusional, and would need to go to the hospital immediately. I reassured him that I wasn't lying and that I was doing well. Following that statement, he mailed his Doctor and got a call right after that. I couldn't understand what they were saying but I have no reason to believe that he would ever lie to me. So he told me that his Doctor told him that it sounded like his health was deteriorating faster than expected.
He told me that he would see his Doctor in 2 days, and that he might need to stay at the hospital for 2-6 weeks, after their talk. He told me that he had a very chaotic mind, that he was thankful that I told him what was going on and that things would probably change now, that his health is worse than he or the Doctor assumed beforehand.
So here's me panicking about my BF, worrying about his health, feeling guilty that me maybe not sounding enthusiastic enough on our call, caused him to think he was being delusional. The only thing I said was that I was doing well and that I wasn't lying to him, his conclusion that he must be delusional scared me a lot. I asked him what he meant by how things changed between us, mind you all this happened in a span of maybe 30 minutes, but he didn't want to talk about it. He said that if I would feel bad, imagine how he would feel.
I read a lot about life expectancy of Bipolar people and know that it is lower, I know this, we both do. It feels to me that he thinks this whole situation is almost like a death sentence to him. I'm scared about the whole situation and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. What can I do to be a better partner? How can I act going forward to make things better? He said that I couldn't do anything, that it just is the way it is. This situation just happened so we haven't talked it out or anything yet. Can you guys give me any pointers of what I can do? I love him so much and don't want to mess anything up.
Thanks again for reading the story.

Cold and avoiding at work, best advice?
To start off, I have a girlfriend that I’ve been dating for 3 years and she (22F) has a boyfriend of 1.5 year long relationship. Her and I met at this 4 week long in person training where we stay there Monday - Friday. We got really close during this time and people at the training thought we were inseparable and some of them even flat out saying we would make a great couple.
When her and I were in the car going to get ice cream, we joked about it saying we are already in a relationship and that we have too many similarities (her words)
Then the training period ended and we got the exact same schedule for another 3 weeks, so she suggested I park my car at hers and we car pool. We did that every day for 3 weeks and during this time, I got to meet her parents a few times but almost felt like her and I got so comfortable with each other that we would say things that we don’t mean like me telling her she talks too much or she telling me I say the dumbest stuff.
Problem starts here, at work it didn’t start like this but after 2 months, it seemed like she started avoiding my eye contact or acknowledge my existence. We don’t even say hi when we walk pass each other in the office or even smile. So I returned the silent treatment back and acted cold like that for a month and out of nowhere, she texted me to see if I wanna grab lunch. I went over to her house, hung out with the dog, got coffee and lunch and came back and talked to her dad for a bit at their place.
Then boom, I see her at work the next week and she’s cold again. So I became cold too, not making any eye contact or anything, I tried to be warm but she wouldn’t even look at me sometimes. Like she despises being in the same room.
And Last night, we got sent to the hospital for our client and had a little argument about how she’s negative at work sometimes and need to brighten up a little (she told me I need to remind her that a few months back during training period) but she still laughed at my jokes that I made with our clients. All night, we never really talked to each other directly, we would only talk to our third separately but not together.
Then we got back to the office and our boss asked this girl “do you have a boyfriend” and she goes “yeah I do” and the boss asked “are you gonna keep him around?” Jokingly, which she didn’t say yes or no. Just prior to this, while on our ride back to the office, my coworker and I were talking about my relationship and how my gf and I are too different sometimes while she was sitting in the back.
At the end our shift, we walked passed each other in the hallway but avoided eye contact and didn’t say good night or smiled. Just looked each other, looked away, carried on.
So my question is, why do you think she’s being so cold at work? Or what started all this and What’s the best advice here?
I want us to be good friends and be able to make jokes like we used to during training but something along the line went wrong.
TL:DR - I’m (26M) in a committed relationship and so does she (22F). We were inseparable when we attended training and work for 2 months spending every day and now at work, we are hot and cold. During our cold time, she did ask to get coffee and it was good time. Now back to cold again not even making eye contact or say hi when we walk pass each other.

Some background. We had a massive fight a while ago because she put up a story and a bunch of guys flirted with her, she then texted me the next day telling me she felt guilty because she said she was receptive to the flirting.
I asked for screenshots and sure enough this guy was heavily flirting and instead of dropping the conversation or telling him she has a boyfriend she kept the conversation going and was in her own words "receptive to his advances" she didn't flirt back per se, but she laughed and joked with him while he was telling her how cute and hot she was, how he wanted to hug her.. I showed my friend the texts and he said he would consider breaking up with her over it. I lost a lot of trust that day.
Since then she seems to be getting close with a male co-worker. She has started walking home with him. They live in the same direction, but she used to take the bus. Walking with him adds 20 minutes at the end of her commute. She works insane shifts sometimes 10, 12 hour days and sometimes 7 days in a row and is often exhausted after work, so she must really enjoy their walks if she would rather walk 20 extra minutes instead of getting the bus home.
She tells me how funny he is and he is really nice. Every time she drops his name I feel a sting of jealousy and insecurity. Up until now I ignored it as paranoia, but now she asked if she can go to his house, the two of them to practice guitar for a party they will be playing at. Its not an official band thing, its a very casual party and they both just want to play some music for everyone.
When me and her were flirting before we got together we used to spend time after work like those two seem to do now, she loved me for my sense of humour, she thinks he is funny, and we discussed me coming over to her house for her to teach me guitar as a date. I see so many parallels between us getting together and her relationship with him. We also met at her work, I have since quit.
She also volunteered to do extra shifts at a festival with him because she is "curious about the festival." It would be just the two of them working together at the festival, there may be alchohol available too I don't know.
Again if she is so tired all the time is her curiosity about a festival enough to make her take on more work? Or is she curious about something else. Like her co worker..
She also told me before that one of her exes "stole her" from her previous ex.. She justified it be explaining how that ex was really not there for her in a lot of ways blah blah blah.
Well she was complaining that I'm not around enough and she feels as though I'm not there for her enough because I'm so busy with my masters. We had a huge fight about it because I was seeing her maybe 3 or 2 times a week and saw my friends once in 3 months because I was so busy but she felt I was not making her a priority..
I'm going over to hers today and I think I'm going to tell her I'm not comfortable with it but I'm not sure.
Should I express this to her? Or let her go to his house ?
Tl;dr - Gf seems to be getting close with male co-worker and asked me if she can go to his house to play guitar together 1 on 1, I'm feeling very insecure about it and don't know what to do.

Im 8dpo (31F lap turned abdominal. Kept ovaries and cervix) and i think im past the worst of it. While im still pretty much couch ridden, I figured I would put this out there to maybe help someone else preparing for their surgery! Obviously we all know these experiences are highly personal and will not be exactly like anyone elses experience, but I personally found it helpful gathering peoples experiences and reflecting based on what I know about myself so I thought id write the kind of post Id want to read! I tried to make easy to skim but also included plenty of details!
Heres some things Im glad I did beforehand

• washed and changed my bed sheets -cleaned my bathroom well
• moved things i knew i would need to a hight where I don’t have to bend down to get them. I moved my toilet paper to easy accessible places, my pj shirts and underwear on top of my dresser. Set up a bed stand for water and meds. Also moved my fridge around.
• as for buying stuff, i mostly had everything i needed but was glad to have comfy sweat pants, backless slippers and highwasted underwear. Also those rechargeable battery bricks were handy for charging my phone in the hospital or sitting somewhere not near an outlet. -exercised. Dont stress about this one, i know chronic pain is often the reason for this surgery. I had to stop my routine months before surgery for this reason. But I was glad to be familiar with proper squat form and have strong arms and legs to help get myself up and down without using my core. I also did yoga therapy that helped me understand how to transfer my weight to different parts of my body which helped too!

Heres some things i was extremely stressed about but ended up not being a problem
-Food. My mom came and cooked me some large portion of meals. I ended up throwing most of it away. The idea was to freeze some of it but it was too much of a hassle. I didn’t have much of an appetite and definitely gravitated towards things in the BRAT diet especially bread. I spent the first few days eating like i had the flu and was really sensitive to grease. My mom made wedding soup and it was too greasy. I think i could have survived this week just on a package of bagels and different spreads.
-cleaning and chores. Im pretty sure I have OCD.. this experience has confirmed it. I looked out at my thriving garden yesterday and said to my partner absent mindedly “wow. Things really thrive when im not out there being over involved “ and like wow that is a lesson i did not expect to learn. My partner has been clearing the dishes each day and did some more involved chores once this week. So if you live alone I would advise paper plates and maybe some to help ya once a week for the first week at least.
-in terms of my surgery i was really scared of having a catheter which i did end up needing to have for a day. It was weird but not at all painful. Honestly it was kind of the worst part of my recovery so far just because i felt i had to pee so bad while it was in. Idk if thats typical. Taking it out was not at all painful but also weird. They used the catheter to put sterile water back in my bladder. As soon as i felt a twinge of uncomfortable full feeling i told my nurse. She removed the catheter and i peed it back out no problem.
-being bored. This week has felt like one day. Since it takes me 10x as long to do anything, the days are flying by. I got myself plenty of low key things to do (crafts, activity books, ect) and haven’t even had time to do any of them yet! I still have a feeling this will change in the coming weeks though..
-having enough help. I secretly wished one of my friends or family members would stay with me for a while just so I could be the solo focus of their attention. I live with my partner and two dogs and he has been totally enough support. I needed help getting up and down up until about day 5. He also makes my meals and cleans them up for me and would bring me my meds and water the first few days. I think it makes sense if you live alone to have someone stay a week with you, but ive been fine and honestly anytime someone has come to “help” its just felt draining. I didn’t know how much of a hermit I would wana be.
-my dogs. I piled myself in pillows if i was sitting on the couch with them. I also had a no chew spray near by that we used when they were pups but only had to use it one time. My partner helped to coral them the first few days too. I have not yet been puppy stomped
-the stairs. Its been fine I just have to go slow.
Heres some things I found out along the way that were helpful

• keep cough drops in your pocket. Coughing aint fun and my throat was irritated from being intubated for about 4 days after surgery. Also keep the paper so you can spit em out when they’ve done the job if you want. I started getting a tummy ache from having too many.

-keep lil pillows by your toilet. The hospital gave me one that was plasticy and easy to wipe off (like an outdoor pillow insert). Or even a balled up towel would work. I couldn’t wear a binder because of all my incisions but this helped take the pressure off my stomach/incisions when i needed to have a bowel movement.
-if you stack pillows on either side of you, they can act as “arms” that are handy to push down on when you get up.
-sip your water and take your stool softeners as soon as they say you can! It took me until day 4 to poop but it was no problem when it happened.
-lots of deep slow breaths to calm your nerves and pain.

• those squeezable applesauce packs. Great for when you take your pain pills.

Heres some challenges I encountered that surprised me.
-my throat was so sore! For the first 4 days my throat was irritating, it felt like I had a flap of skin sticking down. The first day it hurt but the rest was just so annoying.

• breathing was a challenge. The first few days i was in bed, it was hard to breathe. I couldn’t take a Deep belly breath because of my incisions. I tried to regularly take a big breath filling my lungs though. Once i started being able to get up and walk around it became less of a problem. I think they have a tool for this at the hospital too but i was not offered it and forgot to ask.

-always laying on my back is getting old. I haven’t quite figured it out yet but im getting there.
-not really a challenge but my lower belly is numb. Apparently that can just happen (even long term). Which has actually been helpful since I can’t feel my lower abdominal incision at all
Lastly!! The pain/symptom scale: Day 0: honestly don’t remember much except feeling i need to pee and my throat being sore. Day 1: was still in the hospital. Pain like cramps and burning pain near certain incisions. I was able to walk the hall but very tired after. Sore throat. Day 2: burning pain near bellybutton incisions. Heavy lung feeling. Left the hospital. Day 3: heavy lung feeling. Pinching pain in incisions whenever I stood or sat. Had some moderate discharge that was yellowish with red and brown. Otherwise no pain Day 4: more like a sharp ache when i stood/sat. Discharge again but a very light amount. Day 5: felt strides..any pain was mild cramping. Tried to shower myself and make myself breakfast which led me to be very tired for the rest of the day. Day 6: most tired yet. Pain the same Day 7: felt like turning a page. Pain very little and energy very good.