Catchy rehearsal dinner invites

Background: my boyfriend and I live togethehave been together for 4 years. My 90 year old grandad is writing a manuscript for a medical speech he gave recently.
My grandad invited us both over for dinnehelp cleaning up the manuscript format etc. my partner hadn’t felt the best, and I had given two opportunities to not go. He insisted he would go due to the fact he previously has bailed (without good reason) for several family get togethers. I told him I wouldn’t mind if he didn’t go since he really didn’t feel great. We end up arriving around 6pm, I worked on the manuscript, we ate dinner and I continued on. My partner meanwhile is trying to give me shortcuts and is complaining that it was getting close to 8 and he wanted to go to bed since it’s a work night. I ended up putting everything on a flash drive and told my grandad I would work on it and we would get back together next week and we would review. I feel a huge amount of guilt as he’s the only grandad I’ve ever had and I greatly cherish our time together and am always a bit nervous when I leave. I don’t want him to feel like I’ve just rushed after eating.
Needless to say now my partner is saying I’m selfish for taking up his evening after working all day (I worked a full day too). Meanwhile we had just spent an entire week with his family. Just feels like my family isn’t held to the same importance. AITA?

This is a bit of a rant...hold on
2 weeks ago my father died. I drove 10 hours to see his last few hours.
I didn't get along with him well due to his extreme mental illness (he was a narcissist with major delusions), but I kept up a somewhat regular relationship (visited a couple of times a year).
I get along less with my siblings. My brother won't forgive me for reporting him for child porn 30 years ago and my sister got upset that I didn't give her a year's notice before getting remarried so she has worked with my ex to complicate my life.
When I was with my father they barely talked to me and barely acknowledged my wife. That had a family dinner and didn't invite us.
My brother insisted on handling all the arrangements for the memorial. He discussed with my sister (not me) when would be the best time. They chose a time without consulting me.
And it doesn't really work. It's a time that three days later I have another trip booked and paid for that I can't change. I have projects at work due then. If I drive I'll pay another $700 fir an hours memorial, if I take a flight it will cost me about $500 with hotel and Uber (because they won't pick me up or let me stay with them.)
Should I care what these people think?
If I went it would be to support my mom. But i find it hard to gather the enthusiasm to spend all that money when my mom tells me it's okay if I can't make it.

We had a big falling out to the point of almost officially breaking up due to compatibility reasons, that and the fights that we’ve had because of it.
I’ve expressed through text what my thoughts are, and how I am uncertain at this moment. That taking this time apart for two of us to think on things is a good idea.
Two days later he’s trying to invite me out to dinner, I say that I’m a little busy at the moment.
Then later that day he texts again how he’s been horny all afternoon and wants me to fuck him.
Am I reasonable to feel upset? I don’t understand why he’d think this is a good idea, it seems a tat bit disrespectful considering what happened between us.
edit

I (22F) feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this bc no one in my family seems to gaf that my sister (18F) is distancing herself from the family. So imma just rant and hope someone can relate.
Anyway, I hardly talk to my younger sister even though we live in the same house because when I do try to talk to her, she seems annoyed and only answers in a monotone voice like she wants the conversation to be over asap. We used to be close when we were younger, but after I came back from college, she’s gotten rude, snappy, and disrespectful. I ask one simple request I.e take out your wet clothes from the washer and she gets all snappy and is like “I don’t have time” and then walks away.
She’s planning this graduation dinner party for her and her friends but hardly gives a fuck whether her family comes or not. When I confronted her and expressed that I felt hurt for not getting an invite to her dinner party, she said “you can come if you want” and didn’t really say much more than that. I’m not the only one she treats this way, but I seem to be the one most affected by it. My brother and mother are writing it off as her being a teenager and that I just need to wait it out, but idk, I really can’t deal with anymore of this.
I don’t understand what happened or why she’s acting like this towards me. I feel like I’m a terrible sister

My ex wife (28F) and I (30M) have been divorced for a few months now because of my her infidelity. Last week, I invited my best friend (30M) and my sister (28F) over for dinner and to burn the memory box of my ex wife. For context, my ex wife gifted me a decorative box which she filled with keep sakes from the experiences we shared in our relationship. Things like flowers, personal notes, concert tickets stubs, photographs, and a host of other things.
My best friend, my sister, and I took turns taking things out of the memory box, and then putting them in the fire. We were all pretty drunk, laughing, and having a good time. My sister was also recording it on her phone and putting it on her Instagram stories.
Last night, my sister texted me a screenshot of the message my ex wife had sent her. My ex wife had seen my sister’s stories, and she said it was callous and heartless what we did, and it really hurt her seeing those stories. I just laughed after seeing that message, and my sister found it hilarious too.
AITAH?

The stress of the last six months has nearly killed me. Besides the general cratering of the outside world—political strife, climate change, inflated rents, corporate greed, and the baffling resurgence of crew socks—my internal life was falling apart, too. I'm at the point where I can't see a way out of the darkness, and that feeling has only grown in the last few days.
My struggles ramped up exponentially in the last two weeks. It started when my long-term girlfriend and I called it quits after five years. There was no definitive relationship-altering fight or infidelity. It was simply the boring banality of the "roommate-ification" of our lives together. We both felt the shift but never talked about it. Turns out communication is important.
Truthfully, we'd stayed together for so long because we couldn't afford to live apart. Our rent had nearly doubled the last time we re-upped our lease but even that was a bargain compared to what was out there currently. We were trapped by our need to have a roof over our heads.
My job had stagnated, and I couldn't find anything better. I was stuck. Like me, she'd been job hunting as well. Unlike me, she had a master's, and her prospects should've been higher. They weren't. For five months, she applied to hundreds of jobs and couldn't break through. If she got a rejection email, it was a win. Most of the time, the companies never responded.
Finally, she found a great opportunity at a Fortune 500 company. It was an involved process. She nailed the five interviews, and her "test project" was well received. She was offered the position, and it came with a massive pay increase—double her current salary. I was proud of her—she needed a win. We celebrated with pizza and beer that night.
Two days later, she dropped the bomb that she was breaking things off. The relationship ending wasn't a surprise. The timing was. The discussion was brief, and there was zero chance of reconciliation. She declined when I asked if she could stay until the lease ended. Mentally, it would've been too much for her. Two days after that, she moved out, taking half the rent with her. I was stuck in a lease I couldn't afford on my salary for the next six months.
My free time evaporated as I took on two extra gigs to help make ends meet. In addition to my office nine to five, I drove for a delivery app on the weekends and took a part-time night job stocking shelves at a local grocery store. When I wasn't hustling for housing, I slept or ate. I did nothing beyond that. Nothing brings me joy. There is no spark.
This drudgery has become my daily routine, and it's killing me.
To help cover some cost gaps, I've started selling off some of my stuff online. It was just me here, and I decided that the Spartan lifestyle would have to work for now. Anything I could fetch a decent amount for went up for sale. My apartment is so empty now every noise causes an echo.
Before my shift at the grocery store, I agreed to meet someone who wanted to take a look at my kitchen table. It was a lovely table – my ex had obsessed over it – but I didn't see a need at the moment. Now that I was a bachelor, my TV trays became my default kitchen tables anyway. I wasn't planning on any dinner parties in the future anyway.
A couple showed up later than they said they would. It was a bored-looking guy and a fastidious young woman. She made friendly small talk as she looked over the table. Her boyfriend (I think) stayed quiet and played bodyguard. I gave him a friendly nod at one point, and he just looked away. She said they'd take it without trying to talk me down. I took the small win.
She asked if I could help carry it down to their truck. I was running late, but feeling helpful, even for a fleeting few seconds, was worth it. Her silent boyfriend and I hauled the table through the hallway and even managed to avoid hitting the walls the entire way down.
I placed it in their truck, got my money, and turned to leave. The girl said thanks, and the boyfriend finally returned the nod. I gave a weird half-wave to them both and started to walk away when I heard the passenger window being rolled down.
"Hey man," the boyfriend said, his voice higher pitched than I thought it would. "What was up with your brother giving us the evil eye in the lobby when we got here?"
I turned around, "Huh? I don't have a brother."
"A cousin then?"
"My family lives about a thousand miles away. What happened in the lobby?"
"A dude that looked just like you was hiding in a dark hallway in the lobby and staring at my girl's ass."
"Jacob, really," she said.
"I'm sorry that happened, but I had nothing to do with it. We do have the occasional homeless guy meander in. Maybe you saw one of them," I said. "Did he say or do anything bad?"
"Jacob, I asked you to not say something," the girl said, burying her head in her hands.
Jacob's frosty attitude to me made sense now. "He said something about running up that ass. I dunno, he was mumbling. I told him I'd beat his ass if he didn't stop staring. Seemed to shut him up."
"Oh. Well, congrats," I said. "I'll tell the manager. Thanks for letting me know."
"You should do a better job keeping jokers like that out of the building."
"Jacob, he's not a security guard."
"He should still be a man and protect his home."
"Have a good night," I said, ending the conversation and heading back up to my apartment. I had about five minutes to change and head out before I'd be late. Last thing my ego needed was to be fired from my backup job.
Thankfully, I was able to slip into work and not get spotted by my boss. That was the last of the good news, though. We had a massive weekly order come in, which meant I'd be there late, plus someone had called out. Worse, our hand truck had a flat tire, and I spent the next few hours torturing my muscles, schlepping heavy boxes around the store. I soldiered on, counting down the minutes until I left and fantasizing about going to bed for the night.
If wishing for sleep wasn't a sad statement to my mental well-being, nothing was.
I came home after my shift at the grocery store and plopped down on the couch. I had contemplated selling it, but it was an older Ikea number, and I didn't think the value would replace my desire to sit. I could feel my body sink into the cushions, and the day's tension seep out. I was beat and tired to the point that turning on the TV was a chore.
I picked up my phone and thought I'd doomscroll until sleep overtook me. I didn't expect it to be a long scroll, as even the methadone that is my phone has failed me lately. As I lowered myself from a slumped position to a supine one, I heard footsteps outside my apartment door. This was not unusual, but the noise I heard sounded like kid footsteps. That was unusual, as nobody on our floor had kids, and it was almost midnight.
Despite my body screaming at me to not move, my brain suggested I check it out. I rolled myself off the couch and eventually stood up. I listened again and heard the kid running down the hallway. I walked over to my door and looked out the peephole. I didn't see anyone.
"Maybe I'm dreaming," I said to myself. "Maybe I'm not staring out a peephole, expecting to see a kid running down the hall at midnight, but instead, I'm cuddled up in my bed, snoozing." I pinched my arm and felt the pain. I was definitely in the waking world.
I turned to head back to the couch when I heard the running again, this time louder. I opened my door and peeked out into the hallway. Nobody was there. The door from the apartment across me opened up, too. Gloria, a young at heart grandma who was friendly/constantly buzzed in a wine mom kind of way, gave me a once over.
"You heard that, too?" she asked.
"Kids?"
"No rugrats around. I assumed it was some drunk assholes stumbling home from the bar."
I laughed. Gloria was, as always, blunt. "I didn't see any assholes," I said.
"Then you're not watching the right kind of internet videos," she said with a wink and a hoarse cackle.
I blushed. How do you respond to that? I just kind of nodded in agreement and shrugged.
"Gotta get your jollies while you can," she said before adding, "You need some rest, dear. You look like hammered shit." She shut her door and went back inside.
She was right. I felt like hammered shit. Since I wasn't going to solve the case of the mysterious runner and was sure it wasn't some lost kid, I decided to call it a night. I went back inside, shut down the apartment, and crawled into bed.
I thought about watching one of the "right kind of internet videos" but fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.
***
"Your problem is you think the world owes you something."
John, my elderly coworker at the grocery store, was standing by while I unloaded a pallet of cereal. I liked John, and when I first started, we instantly clicked. He's quick with a joke and fun to talk to. He's also about thirty years older than me and speaks with the Boomer combination of accumulated wisdom, backhanded compliments, and fringe conspiracy nonsense. Still, regardless of how couched the kindness is in gobbledygook, he's usually coming from a good place.
"What?" I said, putting a box of Captain Crunch on the shelf.
"You're complaining about your situation, right? Saying it ain't fair. The world took a paddle to your hind quarters? Hey brother, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Gotta just pick yourself up and start over. You're smart enough – figured this job out right quick – you can do it."
The job was wheeling pallets around the store and stocking shelves. It wasn't much to figure out, but I understood his meaning. The other stuff wasn't necessary, though. "I'm just in a funk. I don't see a way forward."
"Hey, so you've bottomed out. No shame in that. Happens to us all. Silver lining, you can only go up," he said before adding, "Unless some other bad shit happens to you like your car dies or your apartment building burns down. But after that, it's only up."
"The apartment building burning down would be a blessing," I said, hoisting another little Captain on the shelf. "The rent is killing me."
"Have you tried negotiating a lower rent? They used to do that when I was your age."
"I think they'd evict me if I even asked."
"Hell, then you'd have at least thirty days, maybe forty, before they'd kick you out. Plenty of time to turn things around."
"Uh-huh," I said, "Any chance you could give me a hand here?"
"My back is screaming like a pretty young thing after prom," he said, holding his back for emphasis.
I didn't push. "Hey, I meant to tell you about some weird shit that happened the other night."
"Lay it on me. I love the strange."
"So, after my shift the other day, I got home around midnight and was flopped on the couch. I heard someone running down the hallway outside my apartment. I wasn't the only one. A few other neighbors heard it, too. When we checked, though, nobody was there."
"That ain't strange," John said, waving his hand, "that's a man who's plowing another man's wife running for his life."
I laughed. "That's not the weird part. So, for the next two nights, it's the same thing. Around midnight, someone runs down the hallway. Only this time, they're trying the door handles as they pass. So, I asked the front desk to check the security cameras, and they do."
"They see a man running away holding his clothes?"
"There wasn't anyone running down the hall," I said, "But the weird thing was, you could see the door handles turning on the video."
"Damn, that's a good one," John said, "You sure it wasn't just a camera glitch. These new ones from overseas aren't as reliable as they want you to think. Chinese probably using them to spy on you, too."
He continued as my brain tried to reconcile John's two opposing comments. "Weird shit happens at night, man. Before working here, I only worked the day shift. Even when they offered me more money to work nights, I turned it down. Even when they promised me a promotion, I turned them down."
In a previous life, John had worked as a paramedic. He came by it after serving in a medical unit in the army. He'd told me he loved the rush of the job, but after a while, the death and hurt in people's eyes got to be too much to handle. But he worked there for almost twenty years. So, the man had a tolerance for shenanigans and odd occurrences.
"Why'd you agree to work nights here?"
"Shit, we're home before the witching hour. This is like late afternoons, at best. But if it was overnights, hell no. Captain Crunch can anchor his own ship to the shelves. I'd take my ass to 7-11 for a day shift before agreeing to work an overnight."
"Something happen to you during the army?”
“I got the clap,” he offered.
I sighed. “What turned you off nights?"
"Oh. I heard enough stories from coworkers to know I didn't want to experience any of that hoo-doo shit," he said, "trying to save someone's life is hard enough without adding in demon kids and ghosts."
"Did your coworkers see demon kids?" I asked, moving on from the good Captain to the Trix rabbit.
He nodded, "They saw too much. I find it odd, even with all the surveillance we have now and all the science we know about these days, that the night still scares us. You ever know someone who worked a night shift?"
I had. My ex. During college, she worked the overnight desk at a hotel for a while. She quit because the job gave her bad vibes. I told John as much.
He pointed and laughed, "See! Don't you find it odd that every person who works at night always has a story of something eerie happening to them? Every person, buster. That's what they call an irrefutable fact."
"Maybe the ghost running down the hallway is an old employee still doing his rounds."
"In that case, keep that door double locked. I'd even wedge a towel under the door just in case."
"Maybe they're friendly? Casper-like in that way."
"You ever heard someone tell you about a friendly ghost outside the funny papers?"
"I'm sure it happens," I said, "The scary ghosts are more popular though."
“We think we know everything there is to know but we are just babes in the woods when it comes to night things.” John shook his head. "Imma tell you one or three things that happened to a guy I worked with back when I first got hired on to chase after corpses in the ambo. Guy's name was Gil. Quiet man, kept to himself. Didn't rock the boat or demand a bigger paddle. Just rowed with us. Good cat to learn under," John said, finally handing me a cereal box.
I took it, and he kept going, "Now, Gil, ya see, he had a little wifey that would pester him about working days. She was a cop and worked evenings at that time, so they never saw each other. When married people can't align their genitals every now and then, it spells doom."
"A little too much information but sure," I said, shelving another box of Trix.
"Probably part of what happened with you and yours," he said. He wasn't wrong, but that didn't mean I wanted to hear it.
John kept on, "Gil finally got approved to move to nights. Little pay boost and a happy, 'fulfilled' wife should've made that man happy. But it didn't. I saw him a few months later, and he had changed. He might've been quiet when he was working with me, but he'd talk to you if you engaged. When I saw him that time, though, oh boy. He looked sick."
"Wasn't a fan of working nights?"
"Wasn't a fan of living anymore is the feeling I got," John said, "After some prodding, he got to talking with me some. Told me he missed days because the nights were messing with him. I thought it had to do with the schedule change, but that wasn't the case. He said he saw things in the dark he couldn't explain. Things that would turn James Brown into James White, ya dig?"
"I...dig," I said.
"Told me they got a call to an abandoned apartment building one night, around three in the morning. Wasn't unusual. Old buildings in the city are where hop-heads congregate and share drugs. Sometimes, the drugs are too much. Sometimes, they find a person passed out or, worse, dead. When you work in the ambo, you aren't scared of death like a civilian. You've been around it. Probably seen a few folks take their last breaths. It doesn't bother you the way Mother Nature intended it should."
He handed me another box, continuing his assist streak, and kept going, "Ambo pulled up, Gil stepped out and looked for someone to talk to. Nobody there, though. Not uncommon. Some people want to help but not be involved. There's not a soul around. He calls out, but nothing comes back. Tells me he turns to get back in the ambulance when he hears a scream from inside the run-down building. They're calling for help. He's gotta go in the abandoned building in the dark."
"No thanks," I said.
"But it don't bother a medic like that. Gil's done a million of these calls. No big deal. He runs into that building but doesn't come back out until twenty minutes later. Just goes missing. After five, the crew heads in to back him up but can't find him. Gil tells me his crew called the cops. It was like he had vanished."
"What happened?"
"I asked him and he got real quiet. Said he fell into some place that looked like here but wasn't here. Said he felt their eyes on him. Judging him. Told me they followed him home and wouldn't leave him be."
"Who?"
John shrugged, "He didn't say. Shut down after that and left. Just walked past me like I was shit on the sidewalk. He quit about a week later. Heard he had a stroke a year later and was a tombstone owner three months after that. Good guy, though."
"Your aversion to overnights makes a little more sense."
"Never in a million years. You don't want something like that coming after you."
"In my case, could it get much worse?" I said with a half-smile.
"Man, I wouldn't even joke about that," he said, making the sign of the cross, "You don't want that shit attachin' itself to you. With your luck, you'd bring him in here, and it'd hop over to me. I can't have a ghost crimping my style."
After a bit, he got called away to sign off on a delivery. I finished out my shift and headed out to the parking lot. When I exited the building and spotted my car, I froze. My doors were all open, and the interior lights were on. Someone had broken in.
I glanced around the lot to see if the thief was still around, but there wasn't another person near me. I walked over to the car and peered inside. My glovebox had been ripped open, and my registration was pulled out, but nothing else was missing.
I found little hand prints in the dirt all along the body and the windows. I held mine up for comparison, and they were about half the size. It must've been some tweens or teens who did this. Maybe they were going to steal some things and got cold feet. I contemplated calling the cops, but since nothing had happened and they wouldn't do anything anyway, there was no reason to delay sleep any longer than I had to. I closed all the doors and climbed inside.
I started the car and heard something rattling in the AC vents. I pulled out my phone and shined the light at the vent. There was a small piece of paper inside. I looked around my car for some tool to pull it out and only found an ink pen and a bent-up paperclip. After McGuyvering the vent for a bit, the paper finally came out.
I held it up and unfolded it. There was a handwritten note. It simply read, "I know you're here. I know you're hiding him. I will find you both, and then it'll be your turn to run the race. We all have to run at some point."
I had no idea what that meant, but my body still provided goosebumps. Who was trying to find me? Who was the second person? Why leave a note in my AC vent? What the hell did run the race mean? I hadn't run a race since elementary school and wasn't planning to do so any time soon. Did they mean the rat race? Because I was basically marathoning that motherfucker already.
"Jesus Christ," I said, shaking my head. "What else, universe?"
As if it were a well-practiced comedy routine, the universe responded. My back passenger door swung open, and I heard footsteps running away from my car. I sprung up and scrambled to get out. There wasn't anyone else in the lot that I could see, but very clearly, someone had been hiding in my backseat.
My nerves were shot already, and this was not something I wanted to deal with at the moment. My brain decided that to avoid a breakdown, I needed to shift into automatic mode and just get back to the safety of my apartment. I'd be more prepared to deal with this – whatever it was – in the morning.
Either that or I'd jump in front of a bus. Both sounded satisfying, albeit in different ways.
***
"There he is," Gloria said as soon as I turned down the hallway. I looked up and noticed a small cabal of my neighbors standing in a semi-circle, waiting for me. They all look displeased.
"Hey guys," I said, confused. "I miss an invite for a block party?"
"What do you have to say for yourself?"
"About?"
"Don't play dumb," another neighbor said, jabbing their finger in my direction.
"I'm not playing," I said, realizing the self-burn only after the words escaped my lips.
Gloria showed me the screen on her phone. It was a static shot of her door from across the hall. She pressed play, and nothing happened for a beat until something darted across the screen. That was the whole thing. I looked up at her, my face twisted up in confusion.
"Well," she said, "What do you have to say?"
"What was that?" I asked.
"That was you!" the pointing neighbor said, pointing harder than I thought possible.
"What?" I said, laughing. "Are you all serious?" They didn't laugh, and I realized they weren't joking. "How can you even tell it's me? It's a blur. Never mind the fact I've been at work for the last five hours. Plus, this blur is half my size. I get we're all weirded out about the Phantom Runner, but it's not me. I swear to God. I don't even have the energy to think about running, let alone the physical desire to."
"Then explain this," Gloria said, slightly swaying from the half bottle of Pinot Noir coursing through her blood. She rewound the video and froze it on a specific frame. I couldn't believe my eyes, but I was looking at...me. Or, rather, something pretending to be me.
"What the fuck?" I said, my jaw dropping.
"Still think we're lying?" the pointer said smugly.
"No, but, guys, this isn't me. I... I've been at work. Wanna see my schedule?"
I reached into my phone and pulled it out. There was an email with my work schedule that confirmed what I was saying. They relaxed, and, for the first time, anger gave way to fear. Their very plausible explanation was suddenly invalid. It left two implausible answers floating in the ether: either I had a pint-sized doppelganger terrorizing the hallways of my apartment, or a ghost was haunting the building.
"I'm...gonna go inside," the pointer said, walking back to their home. Everyone else drifted away until it was just Gloria and I standing alone in the hallway.
She looked at me and sighed, "I feel like an asshole," she said. "Sorry I accused you of causing the racket."
"If I had seen the video, I would've thought the same thing," I said. "We're good."
"What do you think it is?" she asked.
I shrugged and let out an exhausted sigh. "Honestly, Gloria, I've had a screwed-up night already, and this is the cherry on top of the shit sundae; forgive my language. I don't have the mental bandwidth to even comprehend what's on the video at the moment."
"Think it's after you?" she asked, though I suspected the wine had forced her to put that idea out into the universe. As I had already seen, the universe seemed to take requests on my behalf.
"Maybe it's after you?" I said, coming off a little meaner than I intended, but I didn't care. I left her there to contemplate that scenario and went into my apartment.
As soon as the door shut behind me, I felt on edge. Just because I didn't have the mental bandwidth to discuss the doppelganger didn't mean it wasn't dominating my thoughts. I saw the frame of the video. The damn ghost looked exactly like me. What could that possibly mean? I know I had wished for death, but I was very still alive. I had rent due to prove that.
Did I happen to live in a place haunted by a ghost that looked strikingly like me? Was it some kid with a passing resemblance just causing chaos? Was it something else I couldn't even comprehend – an alien? A clone? A secret government project?
There was a thumping coming from the hallway. The mini Usain Bolt was at it again. I knew the neighbors would ignore it. Since they had all thought it was me, which was proven to be untrue, they would avoid the running man from now on. While curious and confused by the creature, they'd never put themselves in harm's way to discover what it was. They were not a brave lot.
Neither was I, but maybe my life crumbling around me had forced my hand. I walked over to my door and swung it open. I hit record on my phone, stuck it out like a periscope, and glanced around the hallway. Nobody was there. No neighbors were looking. No person was running.
"You gotta stop, man. I need to go to sleep," I said to the empty space. No response, not that I was expecting one.
I turned to walk back in, and I caught something out of the corner of my eye. A face at the end of the hallway peeked around the corner. For a quick second, we locked eyes, and it was like I was looking into a mirror. This thing was me. But...how?
I tried to get it on video, but it ducked back into the shadows. I took that as a cue to shut and lock my door. My heart was racing, and I didn't want to think about this anymore, but I couldn't help it. There was a me in the hallway who enjoyed pestering my neighbors. Worse, they liked to run for some ungodly reason.
I put my phone on the counter, the video still rolling, when there was a knock at my door. It echoed in my near-empty apartment. I tried to ignore it and convince myself it was something else, but it wasn't. The ghost was knocking on my door. Even with my brain paralyzed, I couldn't help but think that it was awfully polite to knock.
Another knock, this one more forceful. I wondered if the neighbors thought I was making this up?
"I know you're in there," a voice said. It sounded just like me. "This is about the race. We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I froze. My legs went wobbly like a boxer on the brink of a blackout, but I stayed tall. I opened my mouth to speak and found the words dying in my throat. I grabbed a nearby bottle of water and took a chug.
"We all have to run the race."
"What race?" I choked out, "What are you talking about?"
"Open up. They're in there already, and I need to get them."
I glanced all around my empty apartment. I didn't see anyone else in here. I didn't hear anything. Whatever this thing was, it was lying. I grabbed my phone and held it in my hand. I wanted to document this to prove that I wasn't crazy.
“Did you leave the note?”
“I know they’re in there with you,” it repeated.
"There's no one in here," I said.
"They're hiding. I think I know where. I can hear them."
"You've gotta get out of here," I said. "There's nothing here, and you're scaring people."
"I'm scared, and you should be! You have to run the race, man! Open up, and I can show you."
The handle started to shake. I peered through the keyhole and only saw the top of the other me's head. They began to shoulder the door, and it crunched against my nose. I screamed out in pain and stumbled back. I tripped over my feet and landed hard on my ass.
The thing slammed into the door two more times, shaking the walls. The strength seemed unnatural. On the third hit, the door burst open. I finally got a view of the thing. It was me. Scaled down by half, but it was me. We both seemed shocked.
"You're so much taller up close," the other me said.
"Who the fuck are you?"
I felt a buzzing in my feet that seemed to climb up my body until it reached my brain. There was an intense pain that rippled through the folds of my mind. Through the pain, I could hear a disembodied voice whisper, "We all must run the race. We all have to run. Chase it. Chase yourself." It felt like my skull was going to split in two. I clutched the sides of my head and let out a primal scream that hurt my own ears.
Then it was gone. But I could still feel the echoes in my mind. "We all have to run the race. We all have to run." The thought would waver between making no sense and making complete sense. One second, I was questioning what was happening to my mind, and the next, all I felt was the desire to continue the race.
"There he is!" the other me yelled, pointing at the hallway.
I glanced over and saw another version of me standing in the hallway. It was half the size of the other me that had broken into my place. When tiny me locked eyes with my intruder, he ran for the open hallway closet.
The other me followed, screaming that it would catch the little bastard if it was the last thing he'd do. I pushed myself up to my feet and felt queasy. I watched as the other me ran head-first into the closet without slowing. I expected to hear a loud thump as it hit the back wall but none came.
"We all have to run the race," the voice in my head said, soothing my nerves. "It's your time to run the race."
I moved down the hallway, each footfall echoing loudly in the empty apartment, each step bringing me closer to the closet door. Something was drawing me there. The voice's words echoed in my mind as well: "We all have to run the race. It's your turn now."
I grabbed the door and stopped. Something was compelling me to move forward. To go into the closet. To chase myself. To run the race.
"No," I whispered and yanked my hand from the door. I pulled out my still recording phone, and stared into the camera. My face was devoid of color, and you could see the fear etched into me. "I'm freaking out because...because…"
I stopped. I felt an invisible hand grab my body and tug. "Because...because if I don't run the race, something bad will happen. I have to chase it. I...I have to."
My phone dropped from my hand, and I didn’t care. The force pulling me forward stopped but my body kept going. I could feel the last strands of my rational mind splintering. My thoughts became focused on one thing: I had to catch myself, find out what was happening, and run the race. If I ran, maybe I'd win.
I needed a win.
I walked into the back of the closet and felt a door handle sticking out of the wall. I'd been in that closet a million times before and never had seen this. But a sense of calm washed over me. This….this was supposed to be here. This was perfectly fine.
I turned the handle and pulled open the invisible door. In front of me was a hallway that looked strikingly like the one outside my apartment. At the end of the hallway, I saw Gloria step out of their home to leave for the night. She was huge. Twice my size, easy.
Another door opened, and I saw...me—a giant version of me. The Hulk version of me was getting ready to go to the grocery store for work. I watched as the giant Gloria and giant me joked and laughed. I was stunned.
I stared, and a new thought came to me. I have to find the smaller me and talk to it. I needed to find out if there's a way out of this...this….
"It's your turn to run," the voice said.
Calm embraced me. "It's my turn to run," I repeated. As the giant me took off and the giant Gloria re-entered her apartment, the hallway beckoned.
"We all have to run the race," I said softly, "It's my turn now."
I started running.

I’ve been living with these two Ms for a year now and they are pretty much best friends (let’s call the Carlos and Joe). We all work in the same part of town in the same industry so know a lot of the same people. Lately, the vibes have changed. I feel like there’s this weird competition going on with them and it’s not like it’s at all obvious it’s so small that it make me go ‘huh that was strange’, and a number of times for me to start questioning it. I’m pretty sure (Carlos) has liked me for a while now but I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to date anyone in our field. Anyway the context. Examples: - The other day I was talking about dying my hair a certain colour and (Joes) was saying I could definitely pull it off and said ‘you should dye it (the) colour’ and (Carlos) is like ‘why do you want her to dye it that colour, what’s the reason you want her to look that way” and (joes) like wtf. It was awkward.. - Joe got invited to a dinner party by our mutual friend and Carlos would usually always be there but Joe said to me that I was invited too but he hadn’t told Carlos - Carlos and Joe have recently stopped hanging out together where as like last month they were inseparable - Last month Joe was really pissy with me and now he’s suddenly really nice, now Carlos is being a bit pissy but the also they’ve both been randomly awkward too - Carlos has started walking around the place shirtless all the time and upping his gym trips - the other night after a night of drinking Joe bit my finger when we were joking around with another friend
Am I delusional or is there something going on?? Our contracts ending soon so maybe that’s it.
TLDR: Is my gut instinct right about my roommates being into me and if so how do I keep thinks calm?
Thanks yall
**

So I finally graduated and my boyfriend left immediately after the graduation was over(I’m not sure if he left after I walked for after everyone walked). He knew my dad and aunt were coming to the city for the first time I’ve known him. He was invited to a dinner which he arrived really late and didn’t even end up ordering anything but was cordial with everyone. Granted he did have a few deliveries for work which he had to do at certain times (I did warn my family of this).
Before the dinner, I texted him and asked why he left. He said he didn’t want to discuss it now as it was my big day but I insisted and he said “made me feel like a failure” and then told me to save the sympathy.
Later on after the dinner when I was crying about my family going back home, he told me that he cried this morning when he felt like a failure.
I’m just not sure how to feel about this? He didn’t really do anything for me for my graduation and he went and revealed this.

hi! so i’m just wondering what everyone thinks of this situation- if he could be looking for a relationship or just trying to get some. 23M 21 F
I met a boy on tinder (lol ik) but he’s from the same small college as me so we connected a bit from that and it helps he feel more comfortable. we actually had a bunch of plans made for the week because we ever had a date and eventually started with a early morning coffee date before he had to go into work at night. it went great he is super sweet and mentioned almost everything i told him im interested in while on the date. he has told me that he is looking for a relationship but im just hesitant with boys because of past experiences. before he dropped me off i asked if we were still on for going out to dinner the next day and he said he’d love to and genuinely seemed excited. later on he texted me asking if i would like to watch a movie after at his or mine apartment(he offered mine if it worked better because i do have to go to sleep early for work) we both have roommates so there’s not any safety issue i am concerned about.
im interested in what others think of this. i wouldn’t necessarily be opposed but i need to make sure im not just getting played. i did casually mention that it would be in my living room if he came over. haven’t gave an answer yet lol.

There was a wedding this weekend. But it was a couple in college and their idea of a wedding primarily centered around being newly 21 so lots of toasts and alcohol, also, religious, with homilies and hymns. Such an event is not a great place for someone with a debilitating, poorly controlled depressive mood disorder, characterized by terrible general and social anxiety.
When I first started dating my s/o, they had a story they would tell me on repeat about going to a family wedding some years ago and losing it, crying, big crying, during the ceremony, and their plus one at the time was embarrassed to have gone with them. The rest of the wedding involved getting drunk to bury emotions. The story would come up out of the blue like a trauma flashback. ...It probably WAS a trauma flashback. Having a mental health meltdown so publicly, in a nearly silent event hall, where everyone knew who they were was one of their great terrors, and they lived it.
Life post-ketamine has been very different. Still, my s/o was freaked out that there was a wedding to go to but felt obligated to say yes. The rehearsal dinner the day before involved everyone being instructed to give a toast, and there were a LOT of guests.
Instead of being overwhelmed and getting hammered, then more emotionally unstable due to alcohol, then freaking out at giving toast, my s/o took some air and decided it was better to leave the rehearsal dinner early, skip the bar, and call it good. They made it through the dinner and introductions and a hoard of college students with slumped shoulders and circles under their eyes fidgeting with their first ever suit or gown, not knowing how to walk around in nice clothing. It was an anxiety inducing event for sure, to be surrounded by self-esteem impaired kids who were all going for the booze but without the benefit of self control from experience at fine dining parties, with what looked like over 100 people, and everyone asking for public sharing of personal details, also a pro photographer yelling to smile! They held up well, discussed current work projects and some new construction, introduced me to people I had never met, and put out some effort to show pride in me and make me look good socially. I was pretty stunned.
But that night they panicked a little that they would fall apart again at the actual wedding, and everyone would think they were some kind of weak fool. The story went back on repeat after being gone for over a year.
For about an hour, they were trying to negotiate with me to support using drugs or alcohol to dull the experience, some lashing blame, general disarray of thinking and planning. But they assumed it would be the same as last time, they couldn't live through that embarassment again, falling apart in front of 100 people and being obligated not to leave. The
The next morning they had calmed down, apologized for being so strung out, and we strategized and bought a wine bottle shaped jug of grape juice for the table, so the glasses would be full of something wine-ish and no one would try to force alcohol into their empty glass, and demand they toast and drink, which would definitely put them into a downward spiral.
The wedding later that day was worse in terms of anxiety induction. The hymns, and religious speeches, and a nearly hour long preacher lecture to the couple was a prelude to the too loud background music and people all around yelling to be heard while everyone in fine clothing tried to eat the catered tacos and liquid cheese pour over nachos, with their hands, while avoiding necktties and lace.
And it was fine. No emotional upheaval, no panic due to the crowd, no horror at meeting people.
After four hours, they had congratulated the happy couple, dinner with relatives, family photos, signed the Bible, written note to the couple for the memory scrap book, caught up with relatives, and had real conversations for about two hours of the event. When it was clear there was no emerging timeline for cake cutting, they asked to take a quick walk outside where we could hear each other and we made an exit plan. They had enough bandwidth to compliment the mother of the bride and father of the bride and congratulate them, beg off early due to being a little overwhelmed and blamed their social anxiety diagnosis, and stopped to say goodbye to close relatives.
Since we missed the cake, we pulled in at the nearest gas station and they pounded down a nasty Hostess type pastry cake as a stress relief/token of achievement and we had a good laugh.
They felt depressed for a couple hours afterward, talking about how gross it felt to be surrounded by people who were parading polite personas and be expected to wear the same mask. That the religious content had been much more than they'd been expecting, e.g. required singing about how we are all God's weapons against devils (an interesting choice for a wedding.) Church was never a safe place for them, it was social group where you "can pray away mental illness," and remaining mentally ill was a sign of further personal failure. So feeling low and blue wasn't so much a symptom as a very normal response to being sat down through prayers and hymns and recitations, etc.
And then they played with their kitten to have the kitten run around chasing toys until exhausted and happy sleepy, gave it dinner and asked if I wanted to snuggle and catch up on the news on TV.
And things were fine. They reflected that they didn't fall apart, that they never expected to be able to handle an event like that. That leaving a little early was not much of a sin and they'd been talkative, likeable, well-dressed, and nice company.
The next day there was no recovery or fall out. They did a big favor (1.5 hours driving) for an acquaintance who was rushing in from out of town for an elderly family member who broke their leg. This favor did not stop them from getting some work done, kitten care, and schedule planning.
What a change. From a mental health melt down and subsequent years of relived trauma, improving to the point where the big follow up was them giving me an eyeroll in the car and saying "next time, I'm asking about how many hymns and homilies there will be before I RSVP."

My parents would always pick me to be alienated for an event. I was chosen numerous times to "sit out" Easter egg colorings, xmas unwrapping gifts, xmas dinners , nephews graduation, barbecues, sisters wedding -as was told wrong date, was also told wrong location of family photos then screamed at for not paying for "my share of photos" that I was never properly invited to, to name a few. I knew there would be a chance my mom would have me "sit out" a family barbecue or special holiday event and then redicule, berate me, and yell at me for not showing up. I eventually stopped asking about xmas dinners, Easter, ect, and chose to make my own holiday memories. I wonder if anyone knows why narc parents do that, and what did you do about it? As of today, I have cut ties with my parents and am living the best version of myself, without them. But this runs in my mind occasionally and I find myself wondering if anyone else was treated like that too?

Okay, so for this post there are a lot of people involved (this has been going on for a while) so I'll list up here who's who. This is my wife's family. I'll be using code names when appropriate:
Father-in-law - FIL
Mother-in-law - MIL
Wife(oldest daughter) - Wife
Second daughter - Sarah
Third daughter - Lana
Fourth daughter - Ruth
Second daughter's husband - BIL
Third daughter's fiancee - Karl
My daughter - daughter
Second daughter's older son - Danny
Second daughter's younger son - Aaron
And me as me
I know this is long but bear with me TL;DR Brother-in-law has snapped the last straw for the family and we are all starting to cut ties with him

 BIL's family has their own side of the story that I'm barely familiar with, so it won't be brought up here. We first met BIL way before they got together; Sarah bought a house as a group of friends with her boyfriend at the time, and BIL and his second wife at the time. We didn't interact with him much. We just heard a few stories about him from their friend group. Eventually this situation broke down and BIL and his second wife left and vandalized Sarah's home on the way out. They let their dogs poop all over the floor, stole some miscellaneous items, poured water in their lawn mower gas tank, etc. He did this to Sarah, his future third wife. We thought this guy was out of our lives forever. Sarah eventually came to stay on my couch after she sold the house. She lived with me and my wife for roughly 3 months. Then she went and rented an apartment a few miles away. No sooner than a few weeks did we find out she was dating future BIL, and a few weeks after that we found she was pregnant. He met the family and stated that he wanted to be a part of it. He blamed all his past transgressions on his second wife. We questioned him at the time if he was still with his second wife. He said no, and that he was officially divorced. My wife looked up the public court records and found out that he didn't file divorce papers until 11 days after we asked that question. A small lie but considering our history of knowing him it was concerning. BIL is a big gun enthusiast. About 1 months after they told us Sarah was pregnant, while cleaning a gun at home he shot himself in the hand. Again, we were concerned but Sarah assured us he was a changed man and this was just an unfortunate accident. His hand healed but he didn't do his physical therapy that seriously so his hand is still kind of jacked up. I feel this is important because he kind of has a history of not following through on what he says. During Sarah's pregnancy we found out that BIL seriously beat one of their dogs back when they bought the house together. We also figured out he diagnosed himself with bipolar, but refused to go to a doctor to get an actual diagnosis. The whole family at the time was distracted by all of this because during Sarah's pregnancy my wife went through a major medical struggle that resulted in multiple surgeries and a months-long stay in the hospital. We were so focused on that the BIL details just kind of came and went at that moment. Sarah gave birth to Danny during COVID lockdown. We were so excited and we all were very active in Danny's life. Time would pass and we just kind of got used to BIL being despite the fact that he often would miss family events. BIL and Sarah would move into a house on my in-laws property just down the road from in-laws house. MIL became their primary caregiver as she could work it around her job and still make decent money. As 4 years have passed my MIL, FIL, Lana, my Wife and I all take shifts of watching their now 2 kids for them, for free. MIL also watches my daughter but significantly less that their son's. 2 years would pass after Danny was born and everything seemed OK. There would just be hints in they way he talked about who he really was. He would say something in casual conversation like "man, there seems like there are too many black people in commercials these days" or "I don't know why we are forcing women's sports to be a thing." Bigoted stuff like that, but veiled enough so there was plausible deniability. I would often call him out on it, so he really grew to not like me. This all changed at his 30th bday. He had a big party with a lot of alcohol and weed with dozens of friends. My wife and I didn't go because we are not party people. Lana and Ruth went to the party. Sarah was also there. During this party BIL went outside and decided to "mud" his jeep through the creek beside their house. This was possibly with Karl but I'm not sure of that to this day. Karl has recently come into the picture prior to this event and was previously friends with BIL for a long time. The jeep got stuck and flooded for obvious reasons. After trying to get it out of the creek by multiple means, they gave up and left it there. I believe it took almost 2 days to get it out. He went back to the party and as everyone got progressively drunk and high, my 2 sister-in-laws Lana and Ruth (I believe) criticized BIL for getting his car stuck in a creek while playing. BIL verbally assaulted them and demanded they get out of his house. They left in tears. They drove separately, and Lana had gotten buzzed so they both got in Ruth's car and drove to my house. They sat and vented to my wife and I for a while, and eventually I offered that we should go do something fun to take their minds off of it. My wife and I drove them to Taco Bell and we got some food and drove around town for a while and made jokes in the car. After they cooled off and were in a better mood they said that Lana needed to go get her car from the party. In a flurry she accidentally left her keys inside her sister's and BIL's house. We drove them over just in case anything sketchy happened but Lana and Ruth didn't want us to go inside, so we waited out in the car. She didn't think it would be a big deal to walk in, but as her and Ruth did BIL immediately got in her face and demanding she gets out or else. Ruth went to talk to someone else at the party and didn't notice this at first. BIL shoved Lana against a wall and held her there. Everyone apparently stood in stunned silence as this happened. He then shoved her to the ground, grabbed her around the ankles and started pulling her across the floor. As he was threatening to do even worse, Ruth ran up and jumped on his back and gave him a head lock. She screamed at him to stop but before BIL could anything about this everyone finally woke up and pulled them apart. Ruth helped Lana up and they ran out of the house onto the front porch sobbing. My wife saw this and got out of the car and yelled at them to get back in our car. We drove up to the in-laws house. By then it was past midnight. MIL was about an hour away working her job and FIL was up in his room asleep. The sisters went and woke him up and explained the situation through tears. They also called MIL to inform her of the situation. He got ready and ask me to go with him down to the house to get some answers. The sisters stayed up at the house. We drove down in his car and when we got out the entire party was ready for us and greeted us at the car. Literally over a dozen people, most of whom I did not recognize started screaming what happened at both of us simultaneously. Everyone was clearly very drunk. FIL looked overwhelmed, so I raised my hands and tried asking everyone to stop for a second and go one by one telling their bit of the story. BIL stopped me mid sentence and pointed his finger in my face. I noticed he had his other hand on a holstered hand gun. He yelled out "You don't have a say here! You're barely even part of this family." For context, I had been with my wife for over 11 years at that time and he hadn't even married Sarah yet and had been there about 2 1/2 years. FIL backed up and told me that I need to stop talking and that I was being a problem. I backed off and went over the yard to Sarah and Karl. I asked Sarah what happened and she told me that she didn't see what happened and that she wasn't very aware of what was going on now. Karl would barely answer the same question. I walked back over to FIL but he told me to back off and that I really wasn't needed there. Admittedly I felt pretty insulted and just decided to walk back to his house and get my car and go home with my wife. We eventually left after FIL came back to the house. We found out later that BIL had pulled his gun out and threatened to kill himself if FIL didn't leave. Out of fear of what he would do, my in-laws were pretty afraid to take action at this point. A lot of the situation was his word against someone else's and Sarah went on a tour around to the friends and convinced them not to take any of this to the police. She then tried to smooth things over with the family and offered that BIL would apologize to everyone. He then refused, stating that Ruth was the real aggressor and that she assaulted him. He eventually agreed to apologize to just FIL for causing a problem and I think some half-hearted apologies to Lana and Ruth. The whole situation was swept under the rug but an unease has existed over the family since then. He stopped coming to family events pretty much altogether. About 4 months after this situation, prior to my daughter being born, he told MIL he was going to bring Danny up to their house so she could watch him for a few hours while he took a nap. His job works long hours so this wasn't out of the ordinary. However, he didn't show up for a while and my MIL started questioning what going on. She called but there was no answer. She drove down to his house and knocked but there wasn't an answer, only Danny crying in the background. She let herself in and found BIL asleep on the couch with Danny actively trying to wake him up. MIL tried to wake him up but nothing for a few minutes. She gave up and wrote a note to let him know where Danny was. BIL didn't notice Danny was gone for 2 hours. He finally woke up, drove up to in-laws house, and yelled at my MIL for just taking Danny without informing him. He took Danny and then left. A few months after that, after my daughter was born, He fell asleep while watching Danny again. This time we found out because when he woke up the front door was open and Danny was gone. He called in-laws for help finding him. My in-laws have a large property (about 200 acres) with a ton of it forested. Danny wandered 1/4 of a mile into the woods and I believe it took roughly a little over an hour to find him. Family questioned him hard this time but he just recoiled back into their house and didn't talk to us much. Sarah continued to defend him and said it was just an accident. Again the police were not notified about any of this. There was always this idea that if we went to authorities about any of this they would just run for it. They would then surprise everyone with the news that they were pregnant again, despite the fact that Sarah had used the morning after pill. This whole time they hadn't married yet. They announced that they were getting married but Sarah told Lana that it was mostly just to help BIL not have to go through bankruptcy a second time. I wasn't sure if this would do anything to help that situation, but that's what Sarah said at one point leading up to the wedding. About a month before the wedding, however, he threatened Sarah that if she insisted on inviting my wife to the wedding he would demand to invite a friend of his that Sarah hated. This friend also used to date BIL I believe. This was his ploy to force Sarah to not invite my Wife or me. The 2 other sisters and MIL all stood in solidarity with us and said that they would also not go if we weren't invited. He eventually relented and they got married a little before Aaron was born. As more kids were added, MIL's childcare duties got much harder. Eventually my wife and I started paying her (not much but something at least. $150 a month) to watch our daughter, but we also did chores for her, bought her food often, and eventually my Wife started taking a few shifts to watch all 3 children. To date, BIL and Sarah have never compensated any of us for our work. It's a little frustrating but we've tried to understand because Sarah and BIL seem to be bad with money. They objectively make more than us yet can't afford to pay MIL anything. Last Thanksgiving, in the middle of dinner, Sarah and BIL decided to have an "intervention" and talk about how we were not treating BIL fairly. They addressed everybody but really honed in on me specifically. This seemed to be because the rest of the family kind of dance in eggshells around them, while to be frank I'm pretty honest about how I feel about them. They seemed to think I was causing the family to turn against him and questioned why I would do that. I told him he lacked humility. He said he didn't understand. I told him that if he admitted to his mistakes and actually apologized about any of the stuff I previously wrote, instead of blaming everyone and everything else then the whole family would feel a bit different about him. A lot of talk was about the 30th b-day and other times when I just ignored him and how he had already apologized about the party. I reminded him that he didn't apologize to most of the family and he blamed Ruth. He then stated that Ruth was the cause of a lot of the problems at that party. He also made a big deal about how the family doesn't trust him with my daughter and kept emphasizing how he has never held her. We finally tried to come to an agreement. I told him I would try to talk to him more and try to understand him better and he said he would try to come to family events more. He also wanted more of a relationship with my daughter. We left and my wife and I were skeptical but we said that if this is who Sarah really wanted to be with, as long as BIL wasn't perceived as a threat he could have more contact with our daughter. We have had way more of a relationship with his kids than he has had with our daughter so I tried to sympathize with that imbalance. Karl also stated later that having known BIL for a long time, he thought he was very sincere. To date, BIL has not asked or tried at any family events to spend any time with my daughter, despite having numerous opportunities. Now to the current situation. About a month ago Lana and Karl announced that Lana was pregnant. This was a revelation due to Lana having a medical condition that made it harder to get pregnant. A lot of excitement was brewing in the family because of this. Karl has been seeming like a good partner to Lana, and proposed to her a little before the pregnancy happened. This is especially pertinent because Lana and Karl moved into a house together right beside BIL and Sarah. A few days ago they were over at Sarah and BIL's house when an argument broke out between Sarah and BIL. BIL demanded that Sarah wasn't an "obedient enough wife" and that if she wanted there marriage to work then she was going to have to get better at serving him. She was upset and they weren't coming to an agreement so he was going to leave, but apparently he was very high so Sarah refused to give him the keys to his car. He got extremely mad and then got a gun, held it to his head, and threatened to kill himself if she didn't hand over the keys. Fortunately, Danny and Aaron were taking a nap during all of this. Sarah called the police during this whole exchange and the operator heard a lot of what BIL said over the phone so based on that they arrived at the house. He apparently drove away and it took the police a bit to find him but once they did he turned himself over. They admitted him to a mandatory 72-hour stay at a psychiatric ward for a mental health assessment. Sarah then came up to the rest of the family (not me or my Wife) and gave them Danny and Aaron. She then went and confided with Lana and Karl about how abusive BIL had been and how life was just miserable right now. A lot of us, especially Karl and my in-laws, were telling her that she needs to leave BIL and file for emergency custody of her children. She seemed to be listening to us and turning a corner, but inexplicably the psychiatric ward allowed BIL to have a phone call with Sarah and they had a long conversation. Suddenly, Sarah shut us all out and completely changed her story. She started defending BIL again. BIL was then let out of the psychiatric ward a day early. Since Karl was working at the time, Lana came to stay with us and then over at her in-laws. We are especially concerned about her safety around BIL due to her being pregnant. They have since cut nearly all contact with us for 4 days now. They have only told Karl that they were getting a new TV because the old one mysteriously broke somehow. They have continued to post on social media like nothing has happened. They have spent 2 days with BIL's family so we aren't sure what their opinion of this is, though we do know a sibling of his has also told Sarah to leave him prior to this latest situation. We don't know what their plans for childcare is because they are wholly reliant upon us. Lana is very reluctant to ever be home alone. Ruth is as well. There are so many other details I haven't mentioned. There have been holes in walls they've had to fix. There is some evidence that BIL is cheating on Sarah, but that evidence is somewhat inconclusive. The bigoted comments for a while now have gotten increasingly misogynistic. It's a lot of 'we need to respect proper gender roles' kind of stuff. There's just too much and I've already written a book on here. I don't really know what to do at this point. Because a lot of this stuff has been swept under the rug it's hard to tell how seriously CPS or police would take our claims. FIL has threatened to kick them out of their very cheap rental they're in now. Who knows what they would do in that scenario. I know this post is detailed and because of that BIL or Sarah might see it, but at this point I wonder if I even give a shit. They've already eluded to keeping their sons from us in the past and the vibes we are getting now is that they are already doing it. And from the bottom of my heart, fuck BIL. 

Omg. I made a post about running into her at a film screening about a month ago. Well, she invited me and my boyfriend over for a dinner party that includes other people who were at the event.
She’s in her mid to late 50’s and I’m in my late 20’s. she’s old money and has really good manners and is know as being very prim and proper.
I asked her what I should bring, and she said it was casual and a bottle of wine would be perfect. I don’t know what she would consider classy enough for her. I don’t even know what to wear. I drink Barefoot most of the time.
Why did she do this?! What does she see in me.
She also asked me not to tell anyone in the office.

Bridal Ball: Vow Renewal Ceremony & Celebration 2024
Join us at the Kissimmee Civic Center for a magical evening of love and celebration! Experience your cherished day once more by renewing your wedding vows in the company of other couples. After the group vow renewal ceremony, we invite you to join us for a wedding reception with a champagne toast, live entertainment, dinner, prizes, and a beautiful wedding cake.
This fundraiser event supports Wedding Wish, a nonprofit organization in Central Florida dedicated to providing wedding and mental health services to couples facing life-altering health challenges.
201 East Dakin Avenue Kissimmee, FL 34741
Saturday, June 8 · 5 - 10pm EDT
VISIT wellnesshap.com/bridal-ball-vow-renewal-ceremony-celebration-2024/ FOR MORE INFO
DON'T FORGET TO SAY WELLNESSHAP.COM SENT YOU!

I initially had planned on coming June 30th so got hotel reservations starting from then, but plane tickets wound up being way cheaper if I came a day early so I got a random hotel reservation, before anyone asks. I'm going with my best friend who invited me to go with him to Vegas for his 50th birthday last year.
June 29: Arrive at 4 pm, Four Queens for one night. I don't have a whole lot planned for this day except dinner which is undecided. I do want to try and hit Neon Museum that night though. Also plan to visit the Art's District.
June 30: Comp 2 night stay at Aria. Criss Angel in the evening.
July 1: Hoover Dam VIP Tour in the morning. Piff the Magic Dragon in the evening.
July 2 (my birthday): Got myself a room at Signature of MGM balcony suite which is 900 square feet. It'll be the nicest room I've ever stayed in (except maybe Aria the previous 2 nights). Thing only cost me $100 when I looked 6 months ago; it's $600 now. Vegas Speedway in the morning. Rouge in the evening.
July 3-6: The D downtown. Red Rock tour on the 3rd. No big shows planned this day but I'm still looking into it. We plan on going to Chinatown on this day also.
July 4th is currently wide open. We plan on finding a good spot to watch fireworks and that's it.
July 5th: Horseshoe Bend and Antelope Canyon day tour
July 6th: Home
I haven't figured out where I wanna eat but I do know I want to eat at the major buffets like Wicked Spoon and Bacchanal. Also want to hit Herbs & Rye for their half off happy hour.
What does everyone think?

I have been friends with someone for a few years and have always liked them a bit, but it was always platonic on their end or so it seems to me.
I have noticed when someone is interested they will want to talk more, but this person doesn’t like texting or using their phone all day and is a bit old school. They always enjoy having me over and have now asked to live with me in several months and it’s messing with my self confidence. I always thought maybe they did not find me attractive or something, but they have recently let me know they thought I was attractive which I initiated that by fishing for compliments(sad I know) so now I feel like I must not be good enough for them to notice or they are just not emotionally available.
It gets weird when they buy me gifts and we go on one on one dates and I go home feeling like I’m making a fool out of myself since they don’t flirt or try to initiate anything physical. I’m guessing they just aren’t looking for anything or I just don’t understand woman? We are in our 30s so I feel like I just may be too far gone when it comes to sex/dating or maybe this person just does not see compatability with me. It feels like she is playing family with me since she always wants to cook me dinners and stuff.
I am a bit scared to try to initiate anything since they remain distant.(Text conversations that don’t last long, not wanting to hang out longer than a few hours, strictly platonic conversations when together like…ect.) I feel general lack of interest and when I talk to guy friends at work they told me I am inconsiderate since I do not compliment her looks or bother her everyday, but with her body language it seems like she wants to be left alone. I give her hugs and try to be sweet when I can, but it’s not in me to be clingy with people who don’t invite me to do so. I have been just working on creating a safe distance as friends so we living together won’t get weird. I’m honestly having trouble with the idea of living together due to this and am tempted to make an excuse to get out a potentially weird situation, but at the end of the day even as a friend I care about this person and we both probably would benefit in this economy helping each other pay bills and it would be a lot less lonely than being stuck here alone. Still the ups and downs I feel lately make me reconsider. They seem really happy to live with me and I don’t want to bail on them:/
Any help would be cool because I haven’t texted them in two days since I don’t like bugging her every day and last time we texted she seemed bothered lol

What do I say to my family I haven’t seen in a long time after my graduation ceremony?
Do I hug them, tell them I love them and miss them? Do I take a photo with them?
My family’s don’t really get along, will it be awkward after the ceremony when we all say hi and bye?
Was I supposed to invite them to dinner or something after?😭😭😭

So weird and I’m not sure why although I can speculate. So I came here for a destination wedding and planned to stay for an extra week after to coincide with my bestie and mutual friend being here too. My bestie’s family lives here while our mutual friend has her mother here at the same time.
The wedding weekend was wonderful and we had an amazing time. Prior to the holiday, my bsf was gushing about how much time we are gonna spend together, all the things we are gonna do etc. for the past two days (almost running on the third) I have not seen her at all.
She will message to say let’s make plans to meet but when I follow up, she doesn’t come through. She will take hours upon hours to respond and in that time I am literally waiting to see if she is coming or not (I still do my own things anyway). So I’m just left hanging for ages and then she will say a last minute thing like ‘oh I’m going dinner with my family now, join us’ knowing that I’m not ready and had no clue what the plan was. Almost as if to invite me on a plan where she knows my hands are tied when it comes to preparing for it because it’s so last minute. And I’m not a spontaneous person. It takes me ages to get ready. Now I’ve asked a bunch of times what the plan is for the next day and she comes with an unrelated response without answering my question. I’ve been asking for the past few days that I want to go to the beach and this is the only day to go since there is an event happening that we all spoke about going to. Yet, no response. Nothing.
My mutual friend is with her mother so I get that but even she was enthusiastic about the beach the other day but now is not responding to me either.
So I guess I’ll spend another day alone but it really wasn’t what I expected. Had my friend simply told me she had to spend time with family and wouldn’t have time to meet up then I would understand and not have extended my trip for this long. I just feel incredibly sad and lonely and will probably cry some more tonight.
TL:dr I think my friends are avoiding me and not wanting to spend time with me while we are all here on this holiday even though they said we would spend the whole time together. Feeling like a burden and incredibly lonely. How should I communicate with them about this?

Hi ITSJ’s - female ENFJ here.
Regarding the story below:

1. how do you interpret his text and intentions, what his fears and goals may be? Would you rule me out as a prospective partner as an ISTJ or would you want to just wait?
   
2. any advice on how to fix this?
   

I like an ISTJ. I could tell he liked me a lot because he kept showing up to things and physically kept leaning into me, would act like a gentleman and send me memes. We became friends by attending church together.
Here’s where it gets complicated: We met while I was dating someone, but I could tell he’d grown to like me over time as we hung out innocently as friends.
Friday, I asked a couple of friends if they’d like to join me for dinner with another couple, and he was the only one to say yes. Then the couple left after dinner and we went to a bar to hang. After talking and making intense eye contact, he leaned in and held my hands and kissed me (while I was still dating someone). Then he apologized a ton. He said he felt terrible because my bf is a really good guy, and this made him “such an asshole”. I told him I liked him, and he immediately said “I like you too”. I said I couldn’t tell fully if that was true, and he said “I love your personality and you’re attractive, of course I like you. But I can’t pursue someone in a relationship”. I felt like there was pain in his eyes, and assumed it was because he’d liked me for awhile and felt he messed up (mostly because he kept saying sorry and touching me). Then he kept holding my hand and rubbing his fingers across me out of nervousness. I told him it was okay, not to feel guilty, I was the one in the relationship and that I was going to break up with my bf soon (which was true). He said that did make him feel better that I was ending things with him. But also proceeded to grill me on why I chose to live with him if I wasn’t sure. I told him I was 22 when it happened (we dated for 6 years).
Then I kissed him back and we went to another bar and kept kissing.
Then Sunday, a friend invited us both to brunch, many of whom knew my bf. he didn’t sit near me and seemed distant, but I did catch him looking at me (tho I could be overanalyzing).
I broke up with my bf that night Sunday, and told him the next day: “Hey, I wanted to let you know that I broke up with [name here] last night. He doesn’t want to make it very public and out of respect for him, not many folks know but I wanted to be fair to you. I’d been planning to do it within the next month and didn’t want you to feel guilty. We’re all invited to this MDW party but if I’m not there, didn’t want you to worry that it was you.”
He responded 6 hours later with: “Hey thanks for letting me know and definitely not going to mention this to anyone. Don’t worry about being fair to me, you don’t owe me anything. Sorry about all of this, I know it has got to be a really hard time for you and I probably contributed to that, so I am sorry. I would totally get it if you didn’t want to run into me (I’m out of town Memorial Day anyway). Happy to catch up if you want to sometime, but please don’t feel obligated at all.”
I do feel terrible and am focusing on caring for my ex through the transition of us parting. That being said, I still like this guy. I’m afraid how he acted at brunch was an indication he doesn’t like me anymore. His vague text feels bad. I value honesty and trust and this is the first time I’ve let something like this happen. I’m afraid we messed things up, but hoping to reconcile. Wondering if i should try to be friends first and still pursue something. I can’t tell if his text means he’s being cautious or that he’s polite and we’re done for.

So weird and I’m not sure why although I can speculate. So I came here for a destination wedding and planned to stay for an extra week after to coincide with my bestie and mutual friend being here too. My bestie’s family lives here while our mutual friend has her mother here at the same time.
The wedding weekend was wonderful and we had an amazing time. Prior to the holiday, my bsf was gushing about how much time we are gonna spend together, all the things we are gonna do etc. for the past two days (almost running on the third) I have not seen her at all.
She will message to say let’s make plans to meet but when I follow up, she doesn’t come through. She will take hours upon hours to respond and in that time I am literally waiting to see if she is coming or not (I still do my own things anyway). So I’m just left hanging for ages and then she will say a last minute thing like ‘oh I’m going dinner with my family now, join us’ knowing that I’m not ready and had no clue what the plan was. Almost as if to invite me on a plan where she knows my hands are tied when it comes to preparing for it because it’s so last minute. And I’m not a spontaneous person. It takes me ages to get ready. Now I’ve asked a bunch of times what the plan is for the next day and she comes with an unrelated response without answering my question. I’ve been asking for the past few days that I want to go to the beach and this is the only day to go since there is an event happening that we all spoke about going to. Yet, no response. Nothing.
My mutual friend is with her mother so I get that but even she was enthusiastic about the beach the other day but now is not responding to me either.
So I guess I’ll spend another day alone but it really wasn’t what I expected. Had my friend simply told me she had to spend time with family and wouldn’t have time to meet up then I would understand and not have extended my trip for this long. I just feel incredibly sad and lonely and will probably cry some more tonight. Am I overthinking this?

So my wife (38F) and I (39M) have been going through some hard times conceiving the past couple years which was always a huge part or why we wanted to be together. I feel we both would be great parents together but ever since finding out that my wife was unable to conceive it seems like everything has been going down hill. About 3 years ago my wife's father passed away(she was extremely close to him and worked at the family company). During this time we also found out she was unable to conceive and she she also found out she was diabetic. For the past 3 years it seems like that every day when I got home from work (2hr total commute) she would be constantly angry or complaining about her dad, work, the family, business, her mom and her new boyfriend, or her health. I finally broke down about 3 months ago and told her I couldn't stand listening to this anymore and that she should look into therapy.
This led to one of the biggest arguments we have ever had and she said many terrible things that I am having trouble getting over. She said that she didn't think we were ever a good match and that I wasted the last 13 years of her life. She also said that she regretted the day she ever met me. In addition we have barely communicated much since she has stated she doesn't want to be with someone that she cant share things with.
She also feels that we aren't a good match and that I am constantly leaving her by herself as we don't have many common interests and she is a homebody. One of my big things is I like being active especially since I have had recent health issues and lost over 45lbs. (242-198), When I stay home and sit around the house I constantly eat and snack out of boredom. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week after work and usually try to stay active on the weekends which she doesn't really want to participate in, I have invited her to things like dinner and the movies on the weekend but it always ends in a fight.
As of right now I'm extremely unhappy and can feel myself growing further apart from her. I am also starting to believe that we weren't a good match from the beginning like she said and it was purely us wanting to be parents each sharing similar values that brought us together. Every time it seems like our conversations end in an argument or one of just saying I'm done. With us not having kids it making me think of divorce more and more. Is couples counseling worth it or should we just end it. I know its not entirely her to blame and part of this might be me have bad communication skills. This is a really hard decision as I feel we are both great people and care about each other but seem like we are 2 separate people at this point.