Italian sayings for my boyfriend

i’m looking for this in the perspective of a newly 21 year old man, and how someone would actually want me to respond to a message like this. i just sometimes feel like my boyfriend is emotionally immature, and sometimes he says things that catch me off guard and sometimes even hurt my feelings. for example, literally last night: for context, i was showing him one of my finished sketches, because he told me he likes seeing what i draw, but this one just so happened to be erotic, followed by this emoji “🤓.” i of course didn’t mean anything by it, but he took it the wrong way and instead reacted this way:
him: “if i’m not passionate enough for you tell me or make a decision for yourself haha don’t be self entitled while also being silent ight girl? i’m just checking you cause i don’t want you building unhealthy habits.”
me: “i’m a little confused. what do you mean by that?”
him: “you know what it means i hate when you play dumb and don’t even think i’m not mad or anything but please just say okay or something”
this is what caught me so off guard initially, i still feel weird reading it. but i would love your guy’s input.

Hello, so I’ve moved in with my boyfriend we’ve never had issues with sleep but in the UK it’s starting to get hot at night which affects my sleep patterns, My (19m) bf (23m) have argued recently and this is due to their housemates.
For context, they’ve moved in a house mate but they’ve struggled to vocalise a couple things to him due to them not wanting to lose a tenant, as they rely on this income. However the tenant has caused several issues such as accusing me of stealing to which he’s found the items he’s lost and not apologised and also being really blunt when I’m around which I don’t mind but makes it a little tense and has at the beginning made me have really bad anxiety which I’ve never suffered from.
The tenant has had his kid around for the weekends, i have a driving exam coming up on the weekdays which several driving lessons as I’m quite behind, however the kid has always woken up at extremely early mornings and late nights and screamed and the tenant tells him to be quiet but he carries on the problem is that the tenant could easily just take the kid out, as the kid sometimes complains about being bored in the house. The only frustrating thing is my bf won’t address this and is saying that if it’s so difficult to stay here then move back home but why would I have to make that change if they could address the issue?
I’ve even offered to pay for the tenants share, as it’s getting out of hand. For background, the tenant is also their friend but they never confront him I’m unsure if they’re scared or uncomfortable. But the tenant always gets away even when he accused me of stealing.
So Am I wrong for asking my bf to address the issue of the tenant and the kid or am I being over dramatic?

I (31M) have been working in restaurants since I was 14, bartending since 20. I love bartending. I’m great at it, fast, personable with the guests, creative at making drinks and menus. I studied hard for years so I could be the best bartender I could be. I worked at upscale restaurants, breweries, distilleries, craft mixology bars, etc. Unfortunately, 2 years ago I was in an accident and nearly lost my leg. I had reconstructive surgery and was out for 6 months. I went back to bartending because it’s what I know best and I needed the money, even though I felt it was too soon to return to work.
It was tough and painful but I did it. I ran the bar program completely alone at an upscale Italian restaurant.
2 months ago I slipped and fell and broke my ankle, same leg, in 3 places and needed more plates and screws. Now I’m recovering and realizing that bartending is just no longer possible for me. I’m permanently walking with a cane and I can’t stay on my feet for more than a half hour without it becoming uncomfortable and painful.
I’m completely devastated because I loved bartending so much and I feel as if it was taken from me. Now I have to figure out a new way to pay bills after years of hard work trying to perfect my trade.
Luckily, I work as a financial consultant for a Bank so I still have a small salary plus my benefits, but it’s not enough to cover my bills.
So I’d like to say goodbye and good luck to all you bartenders, bar backs, mixologists, etc. You people are the most hardworking motherfuckers in the world and I’ll miss working with all of you. Keep those legs safe everybody! They’re pretty important.
TLDR Was great bartender, broke leg, broke leg again, no more bartender. Sad.

I’m honestly out of ideas to do to better my situation. My mom hasn’t worked since 2016 and she’s gone broke, racked up credit card bills etc. I’m 23 and ready to start my life. The problem is I have to pay most of the bills sharing a 1 bedroom apartment and it’s still not enough. ($1200 plus my bills) I’ve been sleeping on a couch for over 2 years. I’m trying to go to school but it’s hard when I work full time in management, without a car and the school in the medical field I’m trying to specialize in is 30 minutes away. (I doubt she could get me to class on time.) I don’t have a car because it would put me into debt and she won’t let me drive hers. I hate being home because shes bitter about her poor decisions and she doesn’t take proper care of herself. (She has bad back pain, depression and anxiety) she’s on pills but she either stops them or it’s not helping. She doesn’t work and complains when I don’t do “enough” housework. I work full time and try to stay healthy so when I get home I’m often so tired I don’t do it. I’ve tried talking to her about how I feel but because of some mistakes I made years ago, she holds resentment towards me and anytime I try to say how I feel, she says I’m being “disrespectful” or “talking back” or she compares me to how my friends are or how she was with her parents. I’m constantly in a state of failure because she makes me feel that way. I don’t drink anymore, don’t smoke, don’t go out clubbing I just go to the gym and spend time with my boyfriend a few days a week. Even she complains about that. I’m getting to where I’m purposely staying out late or working late because I’m living in an environment that I feel disrespected, uncomfortable and taken for granted. I feel like she blames me for her poor decisions in life and it’s eating me alive. It’s so hard not to turn to substances to numb the pain/emotions I’ve held in for years. The lease is up for our apartment at the end of next year. I’m ready and praying that I can get the hell out. I feel like she’s dragging me down and idk how to get away without feeling guilty about her lack of life choices. Advice?

Once, the girl I love (she has moved on) was in a horrible time in her life, where she was actually thinking about suicide for some time... One day, after receiving an email saying that she had not overcome the test to enter the film academy she hoped to attend, she was desperate and saw no way out of that terrible situation. I made the biggest mistake in cases like these: I started looking for pragmatic solutions to her problem when the only thing I should have done was take the first available flight and go to Spain to see her (we had been in a long-distance relationship for almost 2 years). I too was in a difficult moment, having just moved to another city, alone, dissatisfied with my life and my choices... I was the only person with whom she felt she could open up and someone with whom she could share her weight... but I gave in, and to yet another negative response to my proposals I replied with this message: "so what do you want to do? just kill yourself?!" we argued and argued for a long time that day. needless to say that a couple of months later, after many discussions and almost total distancing on her part, we break up. she asked me to leave her. Now she's fine, she has new friends, a new boyfriend,I can't find out more, but I know she's fine, and I hope with all of myself that she's happy. I can only imagine what it felt like reading that message, that the person you need most, on whom you rely, one of the few things that gives away a glimmer of hope to stay alive: he disappoints you by breaking and praising you by giving that sentence, how much pain could she have tried? how can someone say they love another person and write that message, on such a difficult and disappointing day... how could they then even just want to hear the name of the boy who disappointed and hurt her so deeply and seriously? it happened two years ago now, since then I have never had a restful night's sleep, a day in which I didn't think about what I had done, a time in which I didn't feel like gagging when I looked at myself in the mirror. I'm sick, I've been sick for two years and my life goes on by inertia, and now it's too late to talk about it to my friends, rightly bother to hear me talk about my ex... and then, knowing this about me, what would they think? ? I disappointed and failed the woman to whom I had promised eternal protection and care, to whom I had assured support and security, I can't stand it anymore but I can't do anything other than continue to live with that moment, that message, stuck in the my eyes, feeling it burn like a brand on my back. I tried to contact her again but she made it clear that she didn't want to have anything to do with me, I don't blame her, but I miss her like crazy and maybe I've become a little crazy because of it.
she will probably never read these words, and it's better this way, it wouldn't change anything anyway, I tried to make up for it in every way, except going there in person, things she asked me not to do, and so I obeyed. there is no ending to this message, rambling and badly written... it's just an outburst from a person who can no longer live every day in the same head as the boy he hates, in the same body as the one he hates. he destroyed the most precious and important relationship I have ever had, I understood all this too late, as usual, I always arrive too late.

While my friend was in a relationship I heard all kinds of nice things from her like how pretty I am or good looking. But she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years and she went back to how she was exactly 2 years ago.
I was at a shop buying press on nails when a random girl hugged me,until I've realized that was an old classmate and her twin. They complimented me saying I lost a lot of weight and one said I got prettier. When I came back to my friend she just looked at me confused "did she just say you got prettier??" In a weird,shocked tone. I've also started to make some self deprecated jokes,not cuz I'm insecure,I just thought they were funny,like how I can't do a slicked back bun because my head is round and I'd look like an egg and she said that I would look like that. When I told another girl how we both have the same weight but she is distributed evenly,she said it's mostly because of the gym(I workout at home) and she got into the convo just to say it's the truth. She also is texting a guy who saw her a couple of times and liked her,and now she sees me as lame and annoying because well,no one ever approaches me
Even while buying those press on nails,she said that none of them fit me because I have weird hands,and that she has normal feminine hands unlike mine(I am literally big boned,I have broad shoulders,big hands and feet and a wide ribcage) and that surgery for hands exist
I know I'm no catch,I don't have a body,but I honestly hate how I fucking look even more. You know you look fine,so why come at me when someone gives me a compliment or if I joke about myself

My boyfriend (M20) and I (M20) have been dating for five years. We met in high school and have always been involved in each other’s family events. When I first met his parents, they seemed like the ideal mother and father: affectionate, caring, and not overly restrictive. I was 16 at the time and didn’t notice any issues beneath the surface.
In February 2023, my boyfriend's mother, Emma (F47), started sleeping outside her bedroom. His father, John (M48), told me she was just tired and needed comfort. I was confused and noticed she sounded like she was crying. A week later, John left the country on business, and Emma sat my boyfriend and me down to explain what was happening. She discovered that John had been cheating overseas. He had been a serial cheater, and his mistress was his business partner, whom Emma had known about for years. On a recent trip overseas, John had separated from Emma to meet his mistress for another holiday. Emma was so devastated that she cheated back but didn’t reveal with whom. I was shocked and offered her emotional support, even though I didn’t have any advice to give.
Since then, I haven’t been able to see John the same way.
Fast forward to April 2024, another family intervention took place. Emma said she considers me part of the family and wanted me to know she is now dating someone and plans to divorce John. To my shock, she revealed she is dating Paul (M25), my boyfriend’s friend. My boyfriend and Paul met through a sports club, and Paul had been to our home for dinner a few times. Paul had pursued Emma multiple times during his friendship with my boyfriend. While the age gap (22 years) doesn’t bother me, Emma dating my boyfriend’s friend feels selfish. Emma and Paul started dating in November 2023 and kept it a secret for six months. During this time, Emma’s parents passed away, and she had to travel back and forth to her home country to be with her family. I understand Emma is struggling with confidence and support right now, but her actions have severe repercussions. My boyfriend is visibly affected—he’s losing interest in his favorite sport, started smoking, and even mentioned breaking up with me because he feels unable to be mentally present in our relationship. I realize this might be selfish of me to highlight, but I prioritize my boyfriend's emotions throughout all of this. John is a good father but a terrible husband. He cheats, is physically and emotionally abusive, and has promised Emma for eight years that he would settle down with her. Emma isn’t seeking any divorce money; she just wants to move on. The problem is, Emma and my boyfriend still live together, and Paul is constantly there when John is not. Paul uses John’s house slippers, pretends to be my boyfriend to use his healthcare card, and uses the apartment gym. It feels wrong for me to witness all of this. Emma confides in me like I’m her daughter, but I’ve told her I can’t condone her actions. It doesn’t align with my values, and I can’t keep lying to my boyfriend’s parents. I empathize with Emma, but her coping methods are wrong. My boyfriend tries to be a good son and says it doesn’t bother him because his mother is her own person. However, his reaction to the situation is clearly affecting him negatively.
I love my boyfriend and hate that he’s going through this. What can I do to support him emotionally?
**TL;DR**: My boyfriend (M20) of five years is stuck keeping his parents' infidelity secrets. His father (M48) cheated with a coworker, and his mother (M47) is now dating his friend (M25). How can I support my boyfriend emotionally?

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have been together for about 3 years. I love him a lot, and our relationship is the best relationship I’ve ever been in, hands down. But while I still feel like there are things to sort out, he has expressed many times that he knows he wants to marry me and have kids with me, etc. For some reason, that is making me feel crazy—how can he be so sure while I am not?
Background on long distance: Currently, I live in Los Angeles and he lives in Miami. I just moved to L.A. in December, because I have always wanted to live there, I have a good amount of friends there from school and summer camp, and I feel like right now I’m not tied down with home owning or kids or taking care of my parents, etc. so now is a good time to try a new city, try new adventures. (my two bests girl friends also agreed to move to L.A. with me, so even more reason!). He doesn’t really understand that mindset and hasn’t have the urge to try a new city, so while I would’ve been happy if he came with me, I was very transparent that I didn’t want him to come JUST for me, I wanted him to want to come a little for himself—and since no part of him wanted to come, he stayed. I have loved it so far, and although he obviously wishes we were together, he is mostly supportive. I’ve done long distance before, so I wasn’t worried about it going into it. Actually, at first, he said he didn’t want to do long distance at all, and we were planning to break up, but he changed his mind and honestly it hasn’t been bad. I’ve been busy with work and he’s writing a book, so it’s given us both time to focus on our other duties in life. Sometimes he will make comments like, “well we could do that together…if you were here” but I understand he’s just trying to cope. I have a lot of friends and at times he does seem to get jealous of me spending time with them or if I mention I met a new acquaintance that is a man, but I would NEVER cheat on him as he has a history of being cheated on, and that’s simply just not something I have an urge to do. I love him very much.
Family background: He has a pretty nuclear family; mom, dad, two brothers and a sister. They all get a long and while his whole family is pretty loud, and they sometimes fight, it’s never really been a question on if his parents would stay together or not. The one thing that does bother me is that his mother does take on the stereotypical “nagging” wife/mom role, the butt of a lot of jokes…which is kind of my nightmare. On the other hand, my parents divorced when I was 3 because my mom cheated, and my mom moved away to Montana. I don’t have a great relationship with my mom, but I have done a lot of therapy and worked through a lot of the trauma that came with their separation/ her abandonment. Proud to be doing well, and proud of how much work I’ve put in to get here. I think because of this, I’m obviously more risk averse when it comes to marriage—though I do know that I want to be married and I do want kids, I obviously think it’s a big decision and for my future kids (and myself! And my partner!) it’s not something I take lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from cynical about marriage. I just want it to be a thoughtful decision. I naturally worry about losing my independence but think with the right person, it can be a beautiful partnership.
He wants to be married soon, and wants kids sooner rather than later. He’s kind of expressed that he feels like his current life is on hold until he is married and has kids—that life before that is not “real” life. And he says he knows that I’m 100% the person he wants to do it with. I think he COULD be that person, but I feel like there are some deep talks we still need to have. Anytime I ask him what he thinks our life would look like in 5 years, location-wise or financially or even just how we spend our free time, he just says “I don’t know, we will figure it out.” It feels like he thinks everything will just spell itself out for us once we get married…but I would like to know at least some of the direction of the path that I am signing up for. He is not an overly ambitious person career wise, and I’m more of an overall planner and more career oriented, so I feel like I will end of making a lot of the big decisions on my own and will will be the bigger breadwinner, which is fine…but it doesn’t feel like the equal partnership I’ve always dreamed of. I know not every bucket of life (finances, childcare, housework, etc.) can be split 50/50, but I think the splits should be distributed enough that one person doesn’t carry too much. Which IMO, which is what led to my parents divorce. And with a single father raising me, I had to be very independent and take care of a lot of things myself. And I’m good at it. But after 2.5 decades of it, I am tired. I want a partner who I can fall back on and who can take care of me sometimes. My BF is great at doing this in the short term, but I fear his rose colored glasses about marriage are clouding his ability to be able to really understand the practicalities/realities/challenges of building a life together. I’m worried it’s been a good fit for where we were in our lives in our mid twenties, with the same circle of friends, but maybe incompatible for the long run. Also, our politics are kind of different, so that’s fun. But something I think I can work with.
But I love him so much :( he is funny and loving and I enjoy the little bubble of life we’ve created thus far. I think he would be a great dad. He makes me feel beautiful, and of course it is nice to hear that someone is so sure about you. But the imbalance in our “sureness” is making me feel like a total asshole. Maybe it would be dumb to throw away this great person…maybe I am letting my childhood get in the way.
As I’ve said, I’ve done a lot of therapy so I am usually pretty good about processing my emotions…but this really has me spiraling lol. And I have talked to my therapist about this too, don’t worry. Just curious about Reddit opinions!!! Should I stick it out—and if so, what could I do, to try to get clarity and be more (or less…) sure.
TL;DR - My boyfriend (27M) says he’s 100% sure about marrying me (27F) and I don’t understand how he could be so sure and it’s making me less sure, I feel like there is still a lot to figure out. What can I do to get clarity?

I have been using my boyfriend’s old iPad for a work thing - with his permission - and downloaded a file but at the same time saw several downloaded pictures of him and his ex-wife of 4 years doing various sexual acts. Normally he would have the benefit of the doubt, he’s not used the iPad for a while but the timestamps of the images were of last month. They are clearly old pictures (she looks a lot different now).
I asked him if we need to talk about some images I found in his files and of course he at first tried to play them off with “they are old pictures” and the classic “I have no idea how they got there” until I mentioned the timestamps.
He broke down and said he’s been looking at pictures of her on his phone (and his iCloud must have synced to the iPad) and it’s a purely sexual ‘fantasy’ about his past with no emotions or attachment. He said he feels so guilty but he just hasn’t been able to bring himself to delete them or stop masturbating to them.
He’s made very clear that he isn’t attracted to his ex in the present at all (she’s gained lots of weight and acts like a completely different person) but says it’s like his wife died and there is a stranger in her place now and it’s his wife that he has felt sexually attracted to.
I just feel really disrespected right now. I just can’t unsee those images. Am I being unreasonable? I feel like the fact that he can’t bring himself to delete these pictures does show an emotional attachment and brings me to wondering if he is even ready for a long term relationship despite his break up being 2+ years ago and my relationship with him for almost a year now.
Tldr; boyfriend faps to images of him and his ex together and I feel angry - how do I approach?

Let me start with saying that English isn’t my first language so please excuse any error in grammar and so on.
Me (22 F) and my ex boyfriend (22 M) broke up a couple of months ago. When we broke up we were on the same page with it. We both recognized that we weren’t on the same path in life right now and wanted to break things off before things got too far and couldn’t be friends anymore.
Some context of our relationship is that we knew each other from school and then a couple of years later started to talk regularly. That turned into 5-8 hour phone calls almost everyday. We started dating and shortly after we moved in together. The reason behind that was that he works away 2-3 weeks every month and I couldn’t afford my apartment so we both thought it was a good idea. Under our whole relationship we never fought once. We’re really similar and different at the same time so we really did have a great relationship, that’s why we still wanted to be friends after the breakup.
We send each other TikTok’s and snapchats everyday still and sometimes he helps me with feeding my cats. I also need to add that we have had sex a couple of times after the breakup. But this last Friday we talked on the phone and asked him if he could come over (bootycall) and he said that he was going to another city around 1 1/2-2 hours away to another girl we met on tinder and we’re going to send the night. I really didn’t know how to feel about that since we didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other anymore. But we didn’t set up any rules that we weren’t allowed to see other people. I wanted to wright to him and say that I didn’t what him to go but I didn’t want to ruin the night for him.
So we talked the other day and I explained everything to him. I basically said that it hurt more than I thought it would and I either had to take a step back and not have daily contact with him or asked if we could start dating again. He said that he would have to think about it but he also said that he still loves me.
But now I wonder if I could get past that he slept with another girl. I want to sleep with someone to even it out but that would basically be cheating if we start dating again, but I really don’t know if I could let it go if I don’t sleep with someone else too. We haven’t talked about this and I don’t really want to either because I’m afraid that he will say that dating is out of the question than, and I am really dependent on having him in my life since I don’t have any family and barely any fiends.
I really need some advise… please help!

I don’t know what to do. I have tried absolutely everything.
So I’m a woman in my 30s who has a degree, a good enough job and all I do is work, come home, eat alone and loneliness is eating me up.
I have felt this way since I was 23 years old.
I don’t have a community of friends. I have around 3 fairly close people who were from different parts of my life (one an old job, one from high school, one from college) who I see now and then but there’s no intense, talk constantly, I can tell them anything kind of friendship, they are just people I can grab lunch with now and then months apart.
My dating life has been horrendous. I can’t even explain how bad. It makes me feel like I’m this disgusting rat. All 3 friends and family members plus random people I’ve known throughout my jobs and things have all commented on how strange it is that I don’t have a partner and how badly things go for me.
The people I have dated in my past have all treated me very similarly. As in, I’ve never had an amicable breakup that ended nicely. They’ve all left me feeling awful. Everyone has always been extremely blunt in telling me I’m basically not good enough. Some phrases I’ve heard were: “you make me feel like I want to get myself back” “I didn’t ever see a future with you and didn’t know why I didn’t tell you this before” “you’re boring” “I understand why your friends and family don’t bother with you” “I just don’t care about you” “
I don’t drink alcohol and all these people told me at the start it wasn’t a problem for them. But sooner or later they would comment on how nice it would be if I joined them for a wine out on the porch after work or be able to go to a cocktail bar. And they would pressure me into doing it despite my strong stance on just not enjoying it. It almost seemed like everyone I dated was a disguised alcoholic even though they weren’t because that was the topic of a lot of our arguments … even though I know they weren’t in their “normal life” but just with me alcohol seemed so important that I didn’t do it.
I always came away feeling awful. I have an array of hobbies and find myself interesting - care for animals, reading, hiking, nature, skiing, cycling, I draw, and also write stories - nobody was ever interested in reading any or caring.
Whenever I go out with friends their partners… care. It’s something I noticed a lot. They’d text or call and ask for updates. Even when I was in relationships this didn’t happen. I’ve never, EVER had a partner or boyfriend who cared about me. This is not normal and I’ve never felt loved.
Both of my parents aren’t here either and I have a weird relationship with my brother. He’s married with kids and we aren’t close. I’ve tried and again I feel “not enough”. He tells me he doesn’t WANT to go on vacations with me because I don’t drink and he likes to go to bars and sip wine at nice places and I’d just not be compatible with him on holiday. He therefore doesn’t ever ask to hang out with me in our own country.
I was only ever close with my mother and miss her so much it hurts. I don’t feel connected with anyone and feel my personality must be so awful that nobody wants me around.
I’ve travelled a lot and even lived in other countries and feel deflated. If I do something pretty cool or a nice achievement I can’t tell anyone. Sure, a couple of my friends might send a nice text but I have nobody to hug, kiss or hype me up. I come home to my empty apartment and just have my own thoughts.
Every date I go on recently is a reflection of my past. People just seem to be super interested in the start, as in.. I have no issues getting matches and getting a good conversation flowing, sometimes even up to three moths of dating but then it ends. The same patterns occur where they suddenly don’t want a serious thing and are gone.
I’m broken making these constant deep connections with strangers only to then feel like I never knew them at all.
Friends have told me in the past I am too nice and fall too hard and people can see this but I don’t get it.
I pour my heart and soul into connections I do make, am sweet and caring and it’s never enough for people. I’ve never ever felt anything was ever reciprocated.
Everyone around me has a marriage - a stable, grown adult marriage with house problems and real life stuff, kids or engagements, stuff like that. I want that so much. I want a person to share my life with. I am so tired of being alone and being on this age on apps and going through the same things feeling so unloved and unwanted.
I look around - and this is going to sound judgmental and I don’t mean to be. But I look around at others I knew from school and friends and things and even people who are either not very attractive or even people with horrific personalities (mean, screechy, drama central kind of people) have good loyal husbands and a fairly decent enough life.
I feel like I’ve witnessed multiple situations where people cheat, so awful things and still someone is FIGHTING for someone to stay, fighting for love, somebody is a staple in their life worth it.
For me that’s just exactly what I feel I don’t have. Nobody has ever fought for me. Never cared enough to even go into a serious, let’s live together, maybe get married situations. Nobody has ever made effort the way I do. I’m good looking enough, not the most sexy person in the room but get told I’m natural beauty, cute and stuff like that. I try and take care of myself. I have that “sweet shy gentle” type personality and everyone I meet tells me I have such a good heart and soul. I really do everything for people. So I don’t understand.
I’m terrified of this continuing and I’m exhausted. I don’t feel like I belong anywhere. I’m absolutely broken with feeling like my whole life has been loss around me, in terms of death of my loved ones and also loss of people I’ve cared for and wanted something with, loss of friendships that were once more solid and now are casual, just loss of everything.
Like I said I’ve tried travelling, lived in other countries, joined so many hobby groups and clubs, the amount of nights I’ve sat at a random meet up of a social night with a soft drink and chatted and gave it my all for nothing to come of it is hard to remember, I’ve even reached out on social media to old friends from random hobbies and school and nothing comes of anything.
I don’t know what else to do. I enjoy my own company but I’m now at a point where it’s depressing me so much. I don’t want this to be my life. I want to go to theme parks with someone and feel alive. I want to book holidays with someone and get excited. I want to pack together and prepare their bags. I want to ask someone about their day. I want to share plans. I don’t want to just come home anymore and stare at a wall. Constantly see people thriving on social media. Have no family at important holidays. Nobody to celebrate things, I feel so empty and not even a part of society when I see the beach packed with people, gifts for sale in stores, etc. it’s not for me because I have no one.
I don’t know what else to do. If something cool happens in my day it didn’t really happen because I am literally by myself and have nobody who cares. I feel like other single people still have close friends or a mother or father who is interested, even a community of some sort. But I am literally alone.
Even when I do stuff with friends it’s only for an hour or two and I’ll get a taste of what a nice happy life is like, maybe an hour walking along a nice beach or a nice dinner somewhere with people around us then I’m back to being alone when they go back home to their husbands and have a cute night.
I cry everyday and don’t understand this. I’m so envious of people who have tons of people in their life. I never will have that even if I find a partner. But it just kills that even that part doesn’t exist. I can’t even explain how empty I feel. My birthday went by with one text message from one of my close friends and the other two sent one days later saying they forgot and had been busy. It’s like I don’t exist. And I’m terrified and don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend made a girl friend while me and him were on a break (for 3-4 days). He told me about the fact that she has cheated on his boyfriend, that she's a cheater. I expressed that i feel really uncomfortable about her, given that reason. I met her twice and my gut feeling was telling me that there's something off about her. I expressed that to him multiple times and told me that he doesn't want to cut her off but that he will distance himself. He still replies to her messages but apparently just out of politeness (keep in mind he doesn't know her half as much as he knows me, he told me that they are "barely friends"). Me and him didn't speak for 3-4 days after a fight and we were "friends" (not really because he was in my messages begging me to take him back) and they somehow found a way to each other again, he came to her with emotional things, telling her about me and what happened between us/the fight. I asked him if he could show me the chat because i have had doubts about this person for a long time now and this would clear it up and make me trust him 100% when it comes to this. I physically can't have a relationship if i can't trust the person 100%.
He instantly, without a second, said "no, i don't want to". I asked him why, trust is incredibly important and i have enough reasons to have this doubt and all it would take is just to show me the chat and i would move on from it. He told me that he doesn't want to show me because he knows i will have a negative reaction and that he can predict that i would probably breakup with him, trying to pretty much blame me/put it on me. Logically, that made me 10x more suspicious when he said those two things. I would have 0 issues showing him any chat if it meant that he would feel more at peace and able to trust me when it came to that person, especially if he had a reason for it. He told me that when he came to her when we had a fight and opened up to her about me etc. she was telling him that i was toxic and basically trash talking me. I asked him if he said anything to her when she was speaking about me in such a way and he said no, he just ignored it. He also told me that she's dating someone and that she sent him (my boyfriend) a couple of pictures of some outfits for the date she was going to the next day, asking him what he thought etc.
In another conversation she also made or rather, replied with a sexual joke and instead of him rejecting it or saying "nah, i'm not comfortable with jokes like that" (since he was literally trying to mend things with me and told me things like "i want to fight for us" while all of this was happening) he said "hahah, i like your humor, there's not a lot of people with our humor". Obviously i was pissed after hearing all of this and he kept flip flopping between, - "sure, i will show you the chat if it's so important to you, just to show you that we were not flirting. but who cares about my feelings right?" and one second later, changing his mind to, - "actually no, i'm not going to change my answer for you so no, i will not show you".
I don't know what to do at this point because how can i go on without trust? How can i go on and "act like everything is fine" when there's a huge question mark, when he's fighting against this so hard when he told me that he has nothing to hide at all? If someone has nothing to hide, why be so against it and get pissed off at me? Any advice and support is appreciated, my heart and mind have been feeling extremely heavy for the past couple of days. Thank you.
EDIT; he met her online and haven't met because she's from a completely different country.

Me (20 F) and my boyfriend (21M) have been dating for 3 months now but before we were talking for 5 months. He’s a sweet man who hardly makes me cry and always tries to do right by me. However there’s been a persistent issue regarding his hypersexuality.
At first I had an issue with how would try to touch me and turn me on if I wasn’t in the mood because he’d always have a boner in the morning. Or if he hadn’t masturbated that day he’d be super horny around me just keep nudging for me to have sex. It’s not like we don’t have sex but I don’t want to have it every time I go and see him. He knows how I feel about it and I’ve talked with him about the nudging. Then he started touching me while I was asleep in the morning and I’d wake up feeling so weird. I’d keep moving his hand away and turning over so I could sleep several times. I talked to him about it and he stopped but sometimes he forgets I guess.
When we talk he always has something sexual to say and it first I’d laugh and continue the conversation but overtime it’s started to drain my energy in talking with him. Yesterday I was talking about the forest in my backyard and the plethora of animals in it (I’m very passionate about nature and love it) I was getting excited while naming the animals and said that there are wood peckers. Instantly he says “you can have my wood pecker”. I literally felt all my excitement die in that moment and I just sat silent staring at the trees. I didn’t say anything for a moment and lost the motivation to keep speaking about my interests. I just wrapped up what I was saying but my tone wasn’t the same and he didn’t seem to notice. I’d compare it to a bird flying freely in the sky and then being shot down honestly.
I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I want to talk to him about it but that’s his personality I guess and I don’t want to make him feel bad. He genuinely cares for me and always makes sure I’m fed when I come over and whatnot.
I know hypersexuality is seen as a mental health issue so I did ask him if he ever experienced any trauma that could have cause it and he told me he has 0 sexual trauma and he’s always been this way. I’ve met his family and he’s opened up to me about a lot so that is true, he lives a very safeguarded cookie cutter life and his family is the sweetest.

38m with 34f wife of 4 years, together 10.
The last year or so, I’ve noticed my wife casually getting more and more distant and her addiction to her phone being more prevalent. She’s been very guarded with it and has kept notifications off. I had a feeling something was going on, but I did not want to invade her privacy. Long story short, dealt with this in my first marriage as well and was trying to be trusting I had no reason to distrust her.
Friday night, in the middle of the night, I got a message from a girl with screenshots between her and her boyfriend, and it appeared that her boyfriend turned down some advance from my wife via Instagram message.
I confronted my wife in the middle of the night, she lied multiple times, but ended up coming out with what she says is the whole story. She started talking to the guy that she used to work with and she ended up basically inviting him to “get drinks and see what happens”. I do believe that this is the whole story and that it was a one time thing.
I am willing to forgive to try to repair the marriage through whatever means necessary. For me, marriage is a vow that is not to be broken, and we should be able to work through this. I have made many mistakes, not this, and don’t expect anyone to be perfect.
She has said that she doesn’t know if she still wants to be together. She’s not attracted to me right now and says that if we are together, we might just both be settling.
Right now, things are very tense. I am obviously hurt and upset and need comforting from her and she is unwilling to give that because she said she is messed up right now as well. She wants space. That scares the hell out of me.
I am really looking for any and all advice right here and I’m willing to answer any questions. I’m devastated at the thought of losing yet another marriage and truly want to work things out with my wife.
I do think that I have let things get stale in the marriage. I probably haven’t been as exciting and romantic aes I should’ve been and am willing to work hard to improve that.
TO;DR My wife flirted with another man on Instagram and now doesn’t know if she still wants to be with me.

okay so i’ve posted on here once ranting about my then boyfriend and what he normally does. we broke up in march but we have still been in communication until the end of april when we had a huge fight (it got physical and he made me take responsibility for that even though it started because of him). now a lot of things that happened in the relationship are coming to light… for me, he never made me feel like his girlfriend, it always seemed like he was always on the look out for somebody else. he would tell me he finds this girl attractive and then he would go hang out with her and i couldn’t say anything because he would say i’m making him feel like a bad boyfriend everytime i did. once he told me that he has sexual feelings for his friend and went into detail telling me what he wants to do with her and to her. that broke me completely and i felt so disrespected and betrayed. mentally, i completely clocked out of the relationship, i no longer felt like he was someone i wanted to be with mostly because he didn’t respect me so i was out “seeking revenge” (i say this in quotes because it was just me looking for attention from him). i would allow guys to flirt with me and occasionally flirt back. i wanted him to see that other people want me and can take me away. he came to find this out recently and he says he is really hurt and that i was projecting because i once told him i don’t want to look stupid in front of others for being with him but that was way before i started allowing these things to happen. i don’t want to start overly defending myself and my actions because at the end of the day he won’t understand even though he has done the same stuff to me. everything i did to hurt him was just things he has done to me over and over again. we can’t seem to see each other and end this cycle. i recently met up with him and we spoke and he had told me that i was abusive and manipulative towards him and most of those times it would be when i have some kind of mental breakdown (i have bpd) and i would completely snap and do things that i normally wouldn’t do like self harm… i told him continuously times in the relationship please don’t do this and that because it really does trigger me but he didn’t care enough to stop until he saw me and my scars but now i’m all these things and i don’t know. i’m aware that i should’ve worked on myself and all that but i was so not in the mental space to see that there was something clearly wrong with me until i went for therapy and my therapist told me hurting yourself, drinking yourself silly, indulging in impulsive behaviors is some kind of manic episode and it should stop and i was put back on medication in the middle of march. i just feel severely misunderstood but i’m taking this as a lesson to not get even with people who hurt you because in the end, no one will care why you did what you did and now you’re both just hurt. he says he wants to see me again so he can get his closure but i don’t know if i want to see him. i want provide him with that but i know it will be more of me apologizing for the hurt i caused him and less of him understanding why i got to where i did… this truly does suck :)

Hello Reddit! Please be nice with my writing style, I have autism. I (F25) and my boyfriend (M25) have been together for 2 years, living together for 1.5 years. He came to my city originally for a girl he was with, but clearly, that did not work out. He then met me and moved in together after half a year (his ex never lived with him, and we moved into a new place from his old one). Everything between us has been great! He even told me he wants to propose to me this year! He pays the shared bills and rent (his choice), and I do all the housework (cooking, cleaning, laundry, making his favourite muffins every Sunday, etc).
I am in university, and I have 1 year left. Technically, my last semester can be fully online, so I only need to stay in this province for 3.5 extra months once our lease is up on September 1st. I work as a bartender in a small town. He LOVES his blue-collar job, and he is able to work anywhere he wants in Canada. He really likes his boss and co-workers as well!
Here's the issue: my boyfriend wants to move to the opposite side of my country (Canada) once our lease is up. We are able to live month to month until the end of December. He is very headstrong about going without me and having me move back in with my parents (which he knows is a VERY TOXIC environment). I cannot afford to stay moved out because all of my money is going to tuition and personal bills. He wants to move there without me and have me join in December.
His points (to keep this fair): 1) $2000 a month goes to utilities and rent, therefore he cannot save money (he makes a minimum of $55K per year), 2) He hates the province we live in because it is overpopulated, 3) although he has loads of friends and family here, he has some in the new province. He would be living with his dad until he finds a place in the new province. 4) he can go and find us a HOUSE before I get there, so I do not have to live with his dad (contradicts his wants to save money), 5) It's only 3.5 months of separation.
My points on why I hate this: 1) why would you leave your partner alone in a place they also hate? 2) Do I not have a say in this matter because I do not pay rent? If he paid me as if I were a housekeeper, I would be making more than half the rent in 1 month, so I think I do my fair share. 3) If he really thinks of me as his future wife, why is he making plans without me? 4) he has said countless times how much he loves our place, living with me, visiting his buddies all the time, and how much he loves his job and work environment. Why leave so quickly if he loves his life at the moment? Won't it be easier to move together in one go? 5) it's 3.5 months of separation...
He doesn't want to talk to me about it AT ALL and almost laughs at my emotions about the situation. He wants to make his final choice at the END OF AUGUST, which makes me worry that I won't have any time to plan. I doubt he is breaking up with me because everything between us is amazing besides this issue. He has no signs of cheating, and I have access to his phone whenever (I play a frog game on his phone sometimes; that's as far as I typically go into his phone). I do not understand why he can't wait 3.5 months to move WITH me. I know his dad likes me and loves my cooking, so I do not think it's his dad not wanting me there (whenever I see his dad, he goes on a rant about how lucky my bf is for finding a homemaker; if I lived there I would cook and clean for everyone as I know his dad won't want us to pay rent).
AITA for being upset about this? Are his points reasonable for leaving me behind? Please help!

Alright, I just want peoples opinion on this. My boyfriend of 2 years got kicked out of his mom's and is currently homeless. He's staying at a family's at the moment but he asked me if I was okay with him staying with one of his female co workers from his old job. Am I in the wrong for being against it and uncomfortable with it? He says she's a lesbain and bla bla bla. But I just I don't feel comfortable with that. Our relationship isn't in the best spot to and the girl lives over 2 hours away.
I feel like that's not fair for me to have to go through and something I don't really wanna stick around to see or to "wait it out". Am I in the wrong? Any opnions?

hey all. like the title says i've been on lamictal for 2+ years. (almost exactly 2.5 years). i've only experienced anxiety a few times since starting the medication. however, it's been becoming more regular the past two weeks. the feeling has been the same as the anxiety i had before beginning the medication.
although, i am going through some pretty huge life changes - - my boyfriend and i became long distance last week - before my boyfriend got together (we've only been together ~4 months) i already had the plan to quit my job and move abroad to teach english for a year - i'm quitting my job in two weeks and im currently getting all my documents ready for me appointment with the country's embassy to get approved for my visa - in the meantime of quitting my job & moving abroad, im going home to spend two months in a household where my mom (definitely) has undiagnosed bipolar, and my step dad shows clear and strong signs he is a narcassist. i'm not diagnosing them, but they both have pretty clear signs. my step dad is also a raging alcoholic
so perhaps the anxiety makes sense at this time. but has anyone else experienced it coming back after over two years on the medication?

TLDR: My boyfriend denied remembering asking me to move in with him but says he still wants to. I don't like how he chose to approach this and I don't know how to go forward. How do I navigate this?
PSA English isn't my first language
Setting the scene: I (24F) had a bad fight with my mother (F59) yesterday afternoon and my boyfriend (M22) came over to my apartment to console me. A little background on my mother - she has suffered narcissistic abuse and sometimes uses damaging tactics to win small argument. She gets defensive and says things she doesn't mean and always apologises (she is getting help) but yesterday she had a particularly nasty episode that really hurt me and left me crying once I got home. I called my boyfriend to vent and he came over to console me. I had stopped crying by the time he got there and we went back to his place where I curled up in his bed, scrolled through social media to distract myself while he worked on his laptop at his desk.
We didn't really talk about anything other than his work, his day, his plans for the week and my fight with my mother until we fell asleep. Just after I fell asleep he woke me up to tell me that I shouldn't be upset if we don't end up moving in together at the end of the year like we had discussed. I asked what he meant thinking that the place we wanted might not be available anymore or he was having financial issues, but he told me no he just hadn't made up his mind about moving in together yet. I said something along the lines of "Why did you ask me to move in with you if you hadn't made up your mind yet?" to which he responded that he doesn't remember ever asking me and that according to him we had only ever discussed it as a possibility.
Background: We hadn't talked about moving in before he had asked me casually over dinner two months ago if I would move in with him when his roommate moved back to his home county come end 2024. This is all many months away and I said yes thinking it gave us lots of time to adjust to the idea making the whole transition easier.
At this point I was tired, drained from my argument with my mother, suddenly felt like I was being rejected and like this just came out of nowhere so couldn't stop myself from letting a tear or two slip (not real crying though) while talking. He said I was being overly emotional, that the only reason he said anything was so that I wouldn't get upset and he didn't want to discuss it further. I told him I was just caught off guard and wanted to understand where he was coming from. We talked it through and he said that while he still wanted to move in with me he wasn't sure he would be ready at the end of the year. I said I understood and I never wanted him to feel pressured and would never want to move in with a partner who didn't want to be there. We just went to sleep after that.
Last night I told myself I'd just let it go and wait for him to decide what he wanted but now I'm confused, sad and thinking I should probably take this more seriously. It felt like he had a late-night spiral and spoke without really considering the state I was in, the effect it would have on me or what he really wanted out of the conversation as he has since gone back to saying that he definitely wants to live with me he's just intimidated by taking such a big step in a relationship.
Basically I want to navigate this so that he's not pressured into anything, but he still understands that I don't have as much confidence in our future as I had before. How do I bring this up with him without pushing him too hard?
Relevant information:
I'm his first serious adult relationship
we have been officially dating for more than a year
we both have very good relationships with each other's friends and families
his parents have just recently had a messy divorce
he mentioned his mother doesn't seem keen on us moving in together though they haven't directly discussed it
neither of us are particularly religious
we have only had two serious disagreements and both times were caused by him drinking too much and subsequently getting hurt but we quickly moved past all that

And I feel like absolute shit about it. I'm dot doing anything, just feeling sad when I'm out with both of them. My best friend keeps saying it's not fair to her that I keep hanging out with them, but I really like her and I can't just say no every time she asks if her bf can come cause that would be weird since we have been out as a group a few times and that was never a problem before.
The worst part is she's from another country and planning on moving to where me and her boyfriend live, and I've offered to look for a place together since I also wanna move, this was before I realized I have this crush tho. But now I'm having words with my best friend over this and it sucks cause I can't help what my body does and what thoughts randomly pop up in my head.

Hi everyone, Excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile. So, I (20F) recently entered a conflict with my boyfriend (21M) about finances. For context, we are both in university, pursuing advanced degrees. I have worked for the last two years, most especially last year in order to save for college and accommodation (very expensive and hard to find in my city). I saved enough to pay for a year of accommodation, plus expenses. On the other hand, my boyfriend has never worked, and instead receives a payment from the government, for a condition he doesn't have (I won't share too much, but he gets around 1000 euro for this). In addition, he gets a grant of 800 euro per month, while I only get 200 euro (my family income was higher, due to my working, despite me being financially independent). This caused a little bit of tension between us, but I moved past, citing the fact that it would be unfair to attack him simply due to his fortune. The main conflict comes from this service he uses online, which pays people 20/hour to do basic judgement tasks. Despite being more than qualified, I didn't get this job, while he did. So this adds even more money to his account per month. He did however offer to let me use it. As I'm strapped for cash, and working two jobs, I asked him to let me use it. He refused, saying he didn't want to lose this source of income, when I "make an error". This honestly infuriated me, as he does NOT need that income, and he backed out of a promise. It's even more annoying as he spends a lot of time (not all to be fair), at my place, despite the agreement being for one tenant. With me paying the full rent and 50/50 on groceries, and no help with bills. I'm genuinely just flabbergasted as to why he would back out of the promise now, and is happy to let me work my ass off for the summer. So, AITA for getting mad at him?

Looking for advice.
I (22M) have been in a relationship with my bf (23M) of almost 3 years. One year out of college and still together - it's truly been great, but of course, not perfect.
Important context - I am slim, Asian, and my bf is athletic, muscular, and white. Before me, he was very active on Grindr and is more sexually experienced than me. He would only h/u with guys who looked like him or had a very athletic build. This part of our relationship always made me feel a little self-conscious, since I am most definitely not that at all, but he's reassured me many times he loves me for all of me. I've also struggled my whole life with body image and self-esteem, which he knows. Took me a while to get over it, but I ended up believing him. Until I found out that he watches porn. A lot.
It's not the fact that he watches porn, but that it's interfering with our intimacy. He watches it while I'm at work, so by the time I get home and I want to have sex, he's not in the mood since he already got off earlier, which has happened multiple times. I've brought this up with him, and he reassured me that he will make more of an effort of placing more attention on me and only me. We talked about this last week. I felt better about us!
Then, a week later, as he was in the shower before our 3-year anniversary dinner, I found out that he has been using AI on his phone to generate naked images of men that don't look at all like me to get off. "25 year old hairy blond man with muscular build" is one of the images, and the others are very similar. I didn't say anything, nor have I yet about the AI images, but I feel very bad about myself. My boyfriend would rather look at AI images of men who don't look like me at all, than have sex or even watch some of the videos we've made together. He also still has not stopped watching regular porn - and you guessed it, the men look nothing like me.
I'm tired, I'm depressed, and I don't know what to do without seeming like I'm asking too much as a boyfriend.
Any advice?