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tl:dr- there have been so many red flags that i’m sure my girlfriend is cheating on me, but I have no proof. What do I do?
So I (19M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been living together for 8 months now. Things started off perfect. One day, she tells me she sent her siblings messages about me the night we met, where a friend of mine danced with her first, and she begins to show me them, before closing them, telling me “they are too cringe”.
Naturally, I’m curious, but I don’t really say anything- I have nothing to be suspicious about. Then, a few suspicious things start to happen at once. She starts taking her phone with her everywhere- into the bathroom when she showers, with her to the library to study; really, everywhere.
Again, I only half-notice this, but then our sex life begins to dry up just as she starts spending all-nighters at the library to finish work. I assume this is stress, but then a few other things happen- this is a long time ago, so I don’t remember everything. In the middle of bringing this up to her, I notice our condom box is much thinner than the two we’d used in our relationship so far.
I honestly tried to break up there and then, but she convinces me there’s a chance we misplaced them, or used some when we were drunk- I remembered moving one more, but there were 8 missing.
I trust her, but I’m suspicious- I remember those old messages, look through them- turns out, they were her asking her siblings “should i date ____ (the name of my friend)”. I come to the library at 7am- she’s there, suprisingly enough, but she’s written 8 lines in 15 hours.
We break up- she convinces me she was procrastinating, that the messages were nothing, and eventually, we get back together. What followed was a long and torturous 4 months, sure she was cheating on me, feeling guilty for that feeling, and then outraged at anything she did that seemed to validate it.
This triggered a paranoid disorder which I had recovered from, and I learned to dismiss these thoughts as part of the paranoia.
Slowly, I learned to ignore the feeling- until last week. First, she tells me, drunk, that after a night out, she ended up on a male friend’s couch, watching a TV show, at 3am, but that nothing came of it. At this point, I’m so used to ignoring the feeling, I laugh this off. Then, she tells me she’ll be out with this friend and a few other people. Apart from a few jokes, I leave this alone, until they cancel, and we stay in.
She tries ketamine for the first time, but gets too high, and throws up. Holding her hair back, she calls me by this friend’s name. At first, I double-take, then think she must just be so high that she thinks she actually went out with them. Two days ago, I leave to my parents’ house. After everything, we agreed to a location sharing app- I checked it today, and hers has been turned off since 9:30pm, the day I left. She clearly forgot to turn it back on. After so many red flags, I’m sure she’s cheating. How do I get undeniable proof?
I don’t want to leave her- I really, intensely love her, like I’ve never loved anyone. But obviously, if I’m right, I have to go. How do I find out for sure?

Click this link to read Chapter 2
Chapter 3: How to Lose a Rig in 30 Seconds
“God damnit!” the salty old man ripped his headset from his balding head and he tossed it aside the radio.
“I’m on fire!” squelched a voice through the earpiece. “Oh my God I’m on fire!” he screamed, and the sounds of the garbled scream cut off into static decay.
“Bunch of idiots…” he shook his head. “Can’t listen worth a hill of beans!” He sat back with a deep sigh as he wiped the look of mild annoyance and defeat from his face. He just shook his head as he reached to press a green button on the radio, it switched to an open channel as he held it in place and picked up his headset to grumble into the microphone, “ObsidianFang to all outposts, the convoy is toast…I repeat, the convoy is toast.” He depressed the button and, again, tossed the headset down aside the radio as he stood from behind the counter in his shop. He looked up from his things to see outside as a man, long-haired and disheveled walked by and started shimmying up onto the roof. “What in the world?” Just out of Fang’s sight was a little girl, covered in filth and holding a tattered stuffed lion, both were heading up onto the roof. He stood to go outside but, just then, the radio static faded back into the sound of someone barely able to speak, pleading for help to the sounds of crackling fire and exploding things. With a grimace and a nervous laugh, the old man just tuned the radio channel over to Control Station 17 and its old collection of classic, upbeat music broadcasting on a loop.
That music…that music and it’s static-laden stream of blips and beeps that sat far off in the staticky background…sounding like some kind of Morris code, I think. Bah! I’m starting to ramble again…
Cool breezes were not the most common thing in the wasteland but, this morning, the air felt cool as ever as the breeze gently dipped out of the clear blue sky. In the breeze, a sullen steel squeal of a weathered windmill whined…how’s that for alliteration, huh? Heh! kinda proud of myself for that! Rhythmically, it turned to hush and whine, hush and whine, clatter, hush and whine. The mill sat fixed to the roof of the old gas station —the only gas station— and served as the water-pump for the area as it doubled to help charge up batteries (a commodity in the wasteland). The morning sun throwing the mills shadow onto the quarter-panel of my rig that sat parked below. But, as the breeze settled, so too did the windmill and, finally, its metallic whine hushed up for a long bit. Even though the windmill sat silent, still, the sounds of electronics hummed away from near the base of one of its legs. There, at the foot of the windmill, sat a darkly colored and armored casing with red glowing lights at one end, and grouping of red lenses on the other. A sentinel —one of many— keeping a watchful eye on things.
You should know that this “sentinel” that I said is “keeping a watchful eye on things” is not exactly keeping an eye to make sure things stay safe, not exactly. But we’ll get to that later. For now…for now all you really need to know is that it’s there. Watching…
The gas station, atop which the mill sat, usually stood abustle with many comings and goings but, for some reason, today it sat quiet, save for the salty old man screaming away into his radio. Yeah, he does his best to direct cargo convoys through the valley on the safest routes to the station but, sometimes, those convoys lose some cargo and he loses a gasket…literally as that’s what the cargo usually is: gaskets and other assorted mechanical items. And, metaphorically too with a little bit of anger to show for it. The stations only customers were the truck drivers of the convoys, and people like me, scouts for the local clans who were looking to re-up on supplies and resources from those convoys. Today, I was there for the fuel.
When I had pulled up there that morning, I thought it was odd to see some guy and his kid daughter milling around the mill on the roof, and no convoy to be seen. The usual trucker chatter on the overhead speakers had been replaced by the soothing and melodic sounds of AC/DC. And, what’s more, it looked like Fang had hired a new hand to help out at the station. I saw the punk getting up as I turned the rig off, heading my direction.
“Hell yeah!” I says under my breath as I got out of my rig, gave the punk a nod and says “I’ll be right out to get some fuel,” then, headed inside.
“Diesel…” the old man inside says to me.
“Boss,” I says back. Yeah, his callsign was ObsidianFang but, face to face, everyone called him Boss. “What’s with the yokes on the roof? … and where’s the shipment?”
“Don’t ask me about the shipment, Diesel.” He huffed, “It ain’t here, is it?!”
“Up in smoke, huh?”
“Burnt to a crisp…” he sighed.
“Oh, wow, dad!” I heard the little girl come hopping down the outside of the building with a thud onto some old sheet metal. “I can’t believe we got another one!” she rushed into the building with excitement written all over her, and a cracked-up sentinel in her hands.
“Hey hey hey, honey!” her father scaled his way down more cautiously, I could tell because there were no thuds of any sort. “Slow down there, your old pops ain’t what he used to be!” he said as he made his way after her.
“What you got there?” I axed the girl as she stopped cold, right in front of me.
She looked at me as though I had just asked her for her one and only heart.
“What’s wrong with your voice?” she finally asked with wide eyes.
“Oh…right…” I says as I ran a hand across my neck tracing the old jagged scar with my fingertips and, for the first time in forever, I had been embarrassed about the sound of my gruff, half-choked voice. Some have remarked that it sounds like I eat cigarrets.
“Christine!” her father started in through the door of the shop, close enough to place a hand in front of the girl and usher her behind himself. Flushed from exertion, and suddenly aware that his daughter needed corralling, he turned to look at me. “I’m sorry about that…she’s not used to interacting with other people.”
“But daddy, her voice…” the little girl whispered.
“Please,” he says to both his girl and myself as he blushed. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, no…it’s okay,” and it was, and that’s when I actually heard my voice for the 1^st time in a long time. I guess I had tuned out the grizzled manliness over the years. I leaned down to be eye to eye with the little girl, “Christine, is it?” and she shyly nodded. “I hurt my voice playing with guns, so, don’t ever play with guns, okay?” and she nodded vigorously.
“Is that true?” her dad asked as I stood up.
“I got my vocal cords severed when a .50 caliber rifle misfired in my face.”
His eyes went wide as he looked to the old man who just nodded to confirm my story.
“As for the accent, possibly Eastern Seaboard USA…I think…can’t be too sure about it these days but what I do know is my name’s L.A. You got a name, yourself?” I axed.
“I-…” he stopped to look curiously at his daughter, then, back to me. “I’m Carl.”
“What’s a carl, daddy?” Christine whispered up at him.
“I’ll explain later, honey.” He says quietly out of the side of his mouth. “She’s never heard my name before…” he says to me with loss in his eyes.
“Ah, I get it…” and I did: they had lost her mother at some point before the girl could talk, and he’s only ever been Daddy to her. “Change of subject, then. You guys hunting down sentinels, huh?” I pointed to the contraption in the girl’s hands.
Carl scratched at his shoulder as he motioned for Christine to let him take the thing, and she slipped it into his hand. “Electronic parts, actually.” He held it up in view. “These peepers are loaded with the stuff.”
“That they are,” I says, “That they are…” turning to the old man and throwing my thumb up pointing outside. “Who’s the new guy?”
“Huh?” Fang looked out with a squint. “Oh, just some punk —said he’d work for cheap— told’em he could have whatever whoever gives him for helping out…”
“Alright…” I nodded in thought while I fished around in my back pocket for a surprise. “I’m guessing since there’s no shipment, that, whatever fuel you got left is gonna be at a premium, right?”
“Premium price for a premium account like yours?” the old man laughed. “And have your whole clan after my hide for trying to take advantage…no thank you!” he laughed again but this time a little more nervously.
“Well, take this anyways…” like an old coin I flipped a small electronic chip into the air and onto the counter, and I started to turn to leave the building. “Maybe you can trade Carl here, sounds like he needs the chip for something.” I stopped at the doorway, and saw that punk was eyeballing Snaggletooth like he’d never seen anything like it. “I’m grabbing about 60 gallons…10 in the rig and 50 in the barrel.”
“Have at it!” Fang said while happily looking over the gold-pinned electronic chip. On my way out the door I overheard Fang try to recruit Carl, asking if he’d like to try and recover any of the cargo that was just lost down in the canyon.
“I’ll even let you keep some of the scrap you find, sound like a deal?”
The music from the radio suddenly faded as the blips and beeps overtook the transmission fading from music to a pirated broadcast signal, “Breaking! Breaking!” It was a woman’s voice, cheerful even, “Reports are coming in that this week’s supply convoy from the Reconstructed Quarter has been stopped along the border entrance to the canyon,” oddly enough, the woman’s voice seemed a little too cheerful for the news being delivered, and it continued, “Looks like these boys don’t know how to ease big things into tight spaces.” I stopped suddenly at the callous nature of the joke…I mean, people were dead and all…but I brushed it aside and continued my way out of the building tuning out the report since I already knew about the situation.
“Is that the same cargo you’re asking me about?” Carl asked.
“The very same!” Fang chuckled. “You in?”
But that was the last I heard of it all. Outside, compared to inside that stuffy store, the cool breeze felt more welcoming than ever. There was even a different sound to the shuffle of dirt under my boots, as though the light gusts just carried the sounds away. The broadcast had ended and, just like that, the song it had cut into returned from where it left off, Hells Bells! There came a small serenity in the moment that I’ve managed to hold on to for all this time. The blue and crisp sky of morning, the cool and crisp breeze, the view of the desert dunes…crisp…all seemed perfect and serene. Except for the whining windmill. Hells Bells!
That punk looked like he was drooling when I walked up, and I couldn’t blame him because Snaggletooth was something else. About the size of one of those old Chevy Suburban trucks but about seven inches lower to the ground. Instead of four wheels it had six (two up front and four in the back) and each wheel had razor-sharp spikes welded to the rims. The grill of the truck had been fortified with sharpened steel pipes protruding forwards that could skewer a man clean through. A single metal spike had been welded just to the left where the headlights should have been, and this spike was angled downwards, looking a jagged tooth, hence the rigs name, Snaggletooth. I could go on for days about each and every blade and spike which covered that beast but, safe to say, you could lose a limb if you lean up against it.
“Yeah, what’doya want?” the question shot quick and rough from a high pitched and annoying voice.
Rattled and disturbed from my peace I gruffly answered, “You know what I’m here for…”
“Yeah? What’doya got?” the punk spat back.
“The usual wares, how much you want?” I was referring to the wires, batteries, and scrap metal that one in the wasteland usually barters with.
He didn’t think one more second and, just like that, he raised his crossbow right at me, “How ‘bout all of it!” he meant my rig.
“Aw crap!” A crossbow bolt zipped passed my head as I dove for the ground. Now, sidenote, I thought I was using some serious big-brained muscles when I grabbed at my pocket for the starter module but, as you’re about to see, that was not the best of my ideas.
The rig roared to life as I clicked the module in my pocket and, as I triggered its weapons systems, one of its handy-dandy drones popped out of the side and clobbered me right in the dome. Knock me right out. When I woke up, the module had been fished outta’ my pocket and the rig was gone. Fang and the others stood over me, vultures circled overhead, and a lone explosion sounded far off in the distance…and that cool breeze mocked me as it gusted up to tussle my hair, tickling the bridge of my nose while I laid there in the dirt. And, woefully, the smell of excrement permeating all around. The sound of the weathered windmill picked back up as I, too, picked myself up, and it whined into the wind as I grumbled and shuffled off into the distance.
Yeah, for those that can’t visually put things together, let me spell it out for you in this here black and white: I crapped my pants when I got knocked out by the drone. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up…get it outta’ your system…these things happen. Meh… … …look, I’m sorry for getting antagonistic on you, there. Just, please, for the sake of everyone involved, try to work on that imagination of yours so that I don’t need to spell things out so matter-of-fact. It ruins the subtle mystique of reading between the lines. And, what’s a story without mystique? Well, it ain’t no story at all, that’s what.
Moving on!

Lancer: Hey Saber!
Lancer cut the ice trapping half of Saber’s body.
Saber: You have my thanks, Lancer!
Leo: PAT!
Leo grabbed Pat tightly slamming him into the dirty rickety deck below them.
Pat: I-I am afraid of Archer! Please!
Berserker jumped on top of one of the boats and Assassin sliced at her side quickly before Berserker used the sword to slice Assassin across her face she then kicked the black-haired servant toward the ground.
Katie: Kill 'em, Berserker! Faster!
Berserker: I am trying my best already master!
She responded to her master while pulling out a bow and shooting some arrows from it. Lancer slapped one of the arrows out of the air with his spear and Saber grabbed one and tossed it toward Katie hitting her in the arm!
Katie: SHIT!
Berserker: M-Master!
Katie: We are so outta here! Berserker get your tall ass here and move it!
She tried to leave jumping over to her master for Assassin to stab her in the back and tackle her into the helicopter making it explode on impact blasting away Katie who was right next to it and the two servants. All three landed in the water.
Lancer: Well that's a problem taken care of! Yo Leo!
Leo: PAT PAT! CALL OF YOUR ARCHER I SWEAR TO GOD!
Saber: Master we could try killing him!
Lancer: It wouldn't be a use even if we kill the kid the servant will have enough mana to last days before vanishing. Our best option is to try to make the kid call his dog off.

Archer: Quite the impressive creation. In terms of physical abilities, I would say it's stronger than any servant… and It seems to already be combat-adept.
The holy grail monster charged forward and Archer jumped into the air dodging its tackle attack before shooting it with several swords piercing its back yet it showed little visible reaction as it grabbed a nearby car and chucked it at Archer who punched it away.
The monster roared mindlessly and shot off a blast of pure mana sending Archer into a tall apart building. Archer landed in the living room of a family of 6.
Father: Who the fuck-
He was cut off by the monster rushing through the wall and Archer in return summoned many spears and aces and shot them through the room killing the entire family while doing minimal damage to the monster who charged through and slammed Archer down the building with a swing of its arm making the apartment collapse.
We see Archer pushing himself from the rubble and the monster wastes no time charging up a beam of light.
Archer: Is that-
Only a few feet away a beam of light flies towards Archer vaporizing everything behind the servant.
Archer: That may have left a mark!
Archer would open a portal and would pull out a fucking minigun and he began shooting the monster seemingly hurting it as it backed up shouting in pain. The monster would then grab a car and use it as a shield and it rammed into Archer sending up him up into the sky.
Archer: NOW THAT IS MORE LIKE IT!
He sent out hundreds of portals the blaster the monster with swords but despite the clear pain it was in it shook whatever stabbed into off as it jumped toward Archer. Archer would then make some chains appear from his portals that would bind the monster up. He then punched it upwards higher into the sky so it was hit by a plane. The monster crawled on top of the plane ripped off one of its wings and jumped down trying to hit Archer with said wing only for the servant to dodge.
The monster would grow wings to keep flying as the plane crashed into the city creating a massive explosion.
Archer: Wings? Let's see then you survive everything I have!
He summoned a sword that went through the monster's head before he had two spears stab its wings to disable its flight. Archer then summoned a truck and slammed it down at the monster creating an explosion that wiped out a dozen city blocks in one swoop.
The monster would crawl out missing an arm that it regenerated as a sword. But Archer used an axe to chop that off as soon as he saw the monster was still alive making the monster blast another flight beam at Archer who casually slapped it away.
Archer: Light isn't as fast as me dumb animal.
The animal would then send out a blast of mana even faster than its previous light beams. Archer smiled and dodged out of the way before summoning Ea in his hands an extremely powerful sword with a strange design.
Archer (thoughts): If it was during the last holy grail war I would've been killed by this thing for sure! But now… you are like the ancient deity Sun Wukong! You change based on the information and knowledge you gain from your opponent and grow more resistant to abilities over time! This means the easiest way to kill you is one powerful blow!
Archer swung Ea in a massive blast of space-tine that vaporized 40% of the city the monster has been killed with nothing to regenerate from.
Archer: What a wonderful dance...
Archer stood in the ruins of what lay from the battle. Dust and death filled the air and he smiled as he quite enjoyed the game.
Archer: Time to go kill that-
Then Pat talked to him using telepathy.
Pat: WHAT DID YOU DO?!
Archer: Defeated a summon of the enemy.
Pat: OK THAT IS IT WE ARE GOING HOME!
Archer: I refuse I must kill-
Pat: NO! NO MORE DEATH WE ARE GOING HOME NOW!
And by using up a command seal Archer was forced to compile.
Archer: Damn you…
Archer rushed back to the docks where he snatched Pat out of Leo’s hands making a portal for them to leave through.
Leo: H-he is really damn fast.
Lancer: Thay guy… I can tell he isn't stronger than the same here.
He says gesturing toward Saber.
Lancer: But damn that noble phantasm closes the gap in their power a lot… might actually make it bigger. We can't fight him as is…
Leo: Ky! We gotta make sure Ky’s ok!
Saber: Yes master!
Once they found Ky barely alive due to intense mana drain. Leo would bring his friend to his home horrified by the destruction of much of the city that has happened.

Pat: Gilgamesh the fuck was that?!
Gilgamesh: I got carried away!
Pat: You can't destroy everything like that the hell is wrong with you!
Gilgamesh: Whatever… next time! Holy Grail War: Evolution!
Pat: You better not be ignoring me!

First off this happened with my ex and I’m doing extremely better with my new girlfriend. I just wanted to make this post cause I still feel guilty about how I made my ex feel even though everyone tells me I was in the right. I still feel guilty because people close to me are obviously biased so I wanted unbiased opinions.
I(M23) met my Ex(F27) when I was 19 and she was 23. The circumstances for how we got together are a little strange long story short her uncle dated my mom but was a shitty person and was eventually kicked out, but my mom stayed in contact with there family. So when she arrived in the US( they’re from Mexico) and said she hated her job, living situation, life my mom asked her if she wanted to stay with her. Now I wasn’t stoked at first but when I first saw her I instantly fell in love I didn’t even notice the pig poo smell( worked at a farm) she had. Then again I had taken a shroom earlier that day and had taken an edible half an hour before she got there. We got along pretty well from the beginning we both loved anime in particular studio ghibli movies. Plus we were both emotionally bad I had problems at home and with my overindulgence of substances, she was in a new country with no family or friends to rely on and it was her first time away from her family. There was an obvious connection and we both knew it tension kept building up until I kissed her and kept kissing her for a whole hour. But afterwards she said that although she did have feelings for me she couldn’t have a relationship with me. Her reasons were “ I’m way older than you” and “you’re mom will hate me and kick me out” which was untrue because our feelings were so obvious my mom noticed and confronted me about it early on. And she said it was sweet to see me finally happy again.( I had been depressed for a while at the time) But even though I protested she made her decision and I said ok, but obviously since we lived together we wouldn’t be able to just be friends. I’m not going to lie I was wrong in what I did next. I kept insisting that we could be in a relationship and we should try at least, we kissed more times and went on dates but nothing more. Until a month in she finally said ok but with some rules. 1: it had to stay secret and no one could know not even my mom 2: if I wanted to be her bf I had to not be jealous at all she had just experienced being free and didn’t want someone controlling her 3: I had to be ok with eventually breaking up because “relationships never last forever”. I said ok and we were officially bf and gf but it didn’t last to long because within the week she broke up with me because of her being way older. I begged and cried and eventually we got back together (I know lame but it was my first serious relationship btw). This pattern repeated when we fought, she would get mad ignore me while I begged and pleaded and even said sorry when it was clearly her fault. In total we broke up like 7-10 times in the first year. When our anniversary was coming up I went all out I bought her a new iPhone 12 took her to downtown Chicago and even got a hotel with a view of the beach and the city . When I went to tell her she said we needed to break up before I could tell her. When I did tell her she did offer to pay half but I was insistent on going. Eventually we compromised and we would plan our breakup after the trip. The only reason we stayed together was because I was always trying to maintain it. We eventually moved in together after a year a bunch of things happened in our first year living together and like before we broke up multiple times. And every time I would always beg her to come back even when I caught her sending flirtatious messages to a coworker(I’m pretty sure she cheated on me with). Now it may seem like it’s pretty cut and dry the answer but here’s where I may be the AH. About 2 years after moving in we both lost our jobs and while she found one I didn’t. Along with this my major depression came back and I’ll be honest I didn’t do much of anything for a whole month I was not supporting her in any way both financially and emotionally or any other way I was just sleeping or feeling horrible. She supported us that whole month working and cleaning and cooking until she got fed up(reasonably) and said I either help or we would be done. So I got up got a job and got help. Honestly after that things were good for a while but they went back to bad eventually. I obviously didn’t have enough money and even new debt( using my credit card to pay for everything) and obviously couldn’t spend as much. This caused major problems but we stayed together for another year until we broke up for real. Quick note the previous time we broke up I warned her that I was tired of playing this game and next time she wanted to break up to be sure because I wasn’t begging or trying to save anything. When she did break up with me I said ok and told her if that’s what she wanted then fine. For the first month after she ignored me even though we lived together then she would stay out till 3 at the bars with her new guy “friends” or just not coming home. And me being me I couldn’t keep my promise and kept trying to get back crying begging but she would shut me down every time. After the first month I moved out but we kept in contact because she “wanted to stay friends”. I went on a couple dates but obviously none led to anything so I would text her trying to get back and she would tell me “we’re only friends we won’t be anything else anymore”. And when I asked if she still loved me she said “like a friend nothing more and she doesn’t love me how I wanted”. This is the same thing she said when I asked one more time to get back together after taking her to Korean bbq. So after that I made up my mind I would get over her. I became distant and didn’t talk as much with her even when I wanted to. Fast forward 6 months after breaking up I met my current gf went on a date and instantly hit it off. I met up one last time to meet my ex and tell her I have a gf and she shouldn’t contact me anymore. After that she would randomly message me things like “IMYSM” and “I’m sad aren’t you”. All this until one day she says she wanted to make out with me because she missed my lips. I got mad and called her saying why didn’t she say this earlier why now. And if she still loved me why didn’t she say so earlier. On top of other things. This was 2 weeks ago we have had 0 contact and she unadded me from everything. While I don’t feel bad because I’m not with her, I do feel I may have moved on quickly and really hurt her especially after our last convo and just overall guilt that I was a bad bf and that I caused our breakup.
TLDR: I was in a relationship for almost 4 years and I feel like I was a bad bf/person
P.S. Hopefully Sam and John read this on the podcast I love hearing it and it brought me laughs throughout this whole ordeal.
P.S.S. There’s a whole lot more but it’s hard to summarize a 4 year relationship into one post.

I did Shotokan and Shorin-ryu for a long time now and I'm planning to move cities soon with a variety of Karate styles to pick from.
I'm planning to venture out to a third style to change up what I already do. I'm happy to go back to a white belt. Just happy to keep learning. Any suggestions on what style of Karate I can do?

When I was in the ninth grade I made some choices I now regret. I needed money and a friend of mine would always talk about how much money he was making from dealing drugs and I asked him how I could get into the game. He introduced me to his supplier or boss, honestly I'm not really sure I just shut up and did what I was told. Made bank doing it too. Things ran smoothly until our boss overdosed. We ditched all the drugs, and shut down the whole gig after the cops found out about our boss's operation. The money was good, not worth jail. After a while the heat died down and my friend found another supplier and starting selling again but I decided not to play with fire again and stay out of it.
One day I was in english class and the teacher of the class was easily distracted by the people outside but for some reason he always left his window open and would point it out whenever someone walked by, he would say look someone's walking their dog in the middle of when he was teaching, or something like look at that guy smoking don't want to be like that guy. Well this day he was telling us some story about his childhood as he always did when he paused and pointed to the window “look at that guy staring at us. He must be really invested in my story”
Then he laughed and moved on, and at the time I did too. I thought he must be tweaking on some drugs and found it kind of ironic that not too long ago I could have been the one selling him his stuff. He started to return a lot though. Always during that english class, always staring in our window. I never connected him to me because I never saw him personally. He was never there during lunch or any of my other classes and I didn't see him outside of school until one night. It was late and I hadn't been able to fall asleep that night.
I needed a glass of water and I got up, poured myself a drink, walked over to a window at the front of my house that has a gorgeous view and just looked at the mountains outside of my window while I drank my water. This was a common routine for me and sometimes I would notice something weird, like the neighbours fighting or someone sneaking into someone's home to cheat. Tonight though there was someone i had never seen before parked in front of my house, it was a black jeep and the windows were tinted so i couldn't see inside. I stared for a while until someone got out of the vehicle, looked up at the window I was looking out of and we locked eyes, I'll never forget those eyes. It was the man outside of class. I went to call the cops and the man quickly hopped back in his car and drove off. I was smart enough to take down the licence plate to tell the police and I made a report right away. Sadly it didnt work though as a night a few weeks later i was asleep when i was awoken to a light tapping sound on my window.
I tried to ignore it and stay asleep but it gets too annoying and when I turn around to look at what's making the noise I see the man's blank face staring at me, he's standing straight up one hand by his side the other tapping on his window. The man remains completely only moving his head and eyes to follow me when I move for my phone across the room. I loudly shout that I'm calling the police in an attempt to get the man to leave but the man just smiles, the first movement he's made besides moving his eyes and head. I tells the police about what's going on. There's a man outside my window that has been stalking me at school, but as soon as I say my address the line goes dead. The police hung up on me. The man starts to laugh slightly and for the first time takes his eyes off me to enjoy his laugh. I run out of the house and made the mistake of turning my head back toward my window. The man was still standing there not staring into the window anymore. He had turned to continue staring at me. Now back to not moving, just standing completely still, I take off and decide to stay at a friend's place. I made a police report the next day and never saw the man again. The police never found the guy. I have no idea if they even looked but to this day he hasn't bothered me again.

I have had good and bad experiences off this forum but I won’t give up! So here’s me : Hiya! I’m just ust A femboy looking for a serious ltr , so I’ll get to the point 🤗. I’m not here for the games , or ghosting . I’m here for something long term. Dating apps don’t work for me sadly.
Located: Texas.
Willing to move to another state or have my future partner live with me .
Appearance :
A thick black femboy who loves dressing up sometimes . Height : 5’3. I wear glasses to read manga . My style is mostly goth/casual clothes from mostly anime shirts and chokers.
💙My hobbies:

• Anime : Some of my favorites animes are Tokyo ghoul , Sword Art Online , Yuri on ice , Future Diary, JJK, MHA, Yaoi(Love stage , Sasaki and Miyano)
• Manga : I’ve completed so many mangas from yaoi , Ouran high school host club , berserk , ect .
• Cosplay : I’ve done Pokémon & a Tokyo Ghoul cosplay before .
• Anime cons: I’ve been to at least 11 anime/Comic cons.
• Dueling (Yu-Gi-Oh!)
• Pokémon
• Yaoi
• Pc gaming
• Overwatch. I love this game have over 500 hrs .
• Marvel/DC
• Tv drama : The Vampire Diaries , Supernatural, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, The 100.
• Horror- big fan of tv shows , movies like AHS
• Consoles I have are : Ps5, Nintendo switch , psp, ps vita, Nintendo 3ds , wii, gameboy , ect .

🩷What im looking for in a Relationship🩷

• [ ] Monogamous
• [ ] Single
• [ ] Loyalty
• [ ] Communication
• [ ] No kids
• [ ] Open-minded
• [ ] Common interest : Nerdy (Anime, Games, Star Wars or anything nerdy)
• [ ] Sure on what you want
• [ ] Mature
• [ ] 21+ in age : no exceptions .

▶️MY TYPE:
TALL (taller than my own height) , very communicative, masculine(mostly beards and body hair) gamers/anime nerds. These are just preferences not a deal breaker .
✅Ps: for compatibility reasons I’m a 100% bottom.
IMPORTANT : If you made it this far, please message me an introduction about yourself. This is extremely important as it tells me alot about you. I won’t respond to a simple message. If you can’t make the effort , I won’t waste my time honestly .

So yesterday morning I took a nap to catch up a bit on my sleep. I had a dream that started with seeing a movie in a theater then becoming part of it, much like how the transition period was for me in this life. In the second half of the dream there was a beautiful song playing and it was from the point of view of a mother and how much she loved her daughter. Intensely. I was pulled into her point of view and felt that intense love and happiness, to the point that I was buzzing.
And then my soul literally tried to yeet itself. I could see it coming from the neck and chest, white and a bit transparent pulling upwards. I tired to move but I was frozen and I wasn’t breathing. I know the body can basically autopilot but I was worried about leaving and not being able to get back in so I focused on trying to breathe and pulling it back in. I was able to but that sense of intense love and happiness stayed for a bit.
I currently have a heart monitor on for other things so I did press the event button so hopefully I’ll have information on that in a few weeks and I do see my cardiologist in June.
Just wondering, is this like okay soul yeeting attempts? Was it just trying to project and do some fun dances or something? Is letting it do that safe next time or is it best to just stay in? Thanks!

Hi there, just a quick background about myself without getting too long… I’m 24(M) in southeast Texas. Graduated high school in 2018. For the last 6 years, I’ve been chasing the music dream. Although my band and I have been rising slowly, at this age I’m wanting to get setup for one of my other dream careers. I’ve been working as a mechanic to actually support myself while I play music. Wondering if anybody could toss me some advice/info that I haven’t thought of.
1- Law Enforcement: Been an interest of mine for about 3 years now. I’ve been on several ride alongs and loved it. Basically I’d just have to do 6 months at a police academy, and get hired on at a PD. Around here, I’d be starting at around $67-70k/year and cap off at MAYBE 100k (which is a LONG time). But with those awesome government benefits. (I do hope to get unbiased views on this. All I can say is I want to be in law enforcement for the right reasons…)
2- Maritime Deck Officer: Been a second dream of mine since I was a freshman in high school. This would require about 5 years total of school (wouldn’t be until I’m 29 at the latest that I can start working). I’d get a bachelors degree from Texas A&M (which means student loans) and the necessary license to be a deck officer in the merchant marine. I have a serious passion for being on the water and operating giant vehicles. I’d be starting off at around 120k/year, and the sky is the limit for capping off. Some jobs in maritime I could be at 300-400k/year. But in the grand scheme of things, I’d maintain between 120k-240k/year and be part of a union. Can be at sea 3-4 months at a time, but only work half the year (typically a 75/75 schedule… I value time off of work so this is awesome). I do plan to have kids/family so while I love the idea of that schedule, it is also a concern of mine. Another plus is if I want to leave being a mariner, I’ll have that degree to fall back on. Texas Game Wardens require a bachelors degree, so I would have that! I am a VERY avid outdoorsman/fisherman/hunter and I know I would excel at being a game warden as a fall back.
Really the biggest decision is… Start a career in the next 6 months-year and start making good money soon… OR put in the 4-5 years of school, live at home until I’m 29, and come out with a degree/license to be in an industry with high job security and a 6 figure starting salary. I’d like to have kids by my early 30s, but not while I’m living at home! Going the maritime route would be pushing that goal… Plus, I truly do hate the idea of still living at home into my late 20’s/early 30’s. I’m not a bum by any means, I just had different priorities right out of high school. I don’t have any regrets chasing my main dream AT ALL, but I do kind of wish I would have started on something else a bit earlier.
Sorry for all the reading, but I truly do appreciate any advice someone can give me. I will be getting started on one or the other this fall.

Disgust is such an interesting emotion
It's something from experience or memory, that I know is toxic.
It's not bad at all, it's a way we learn. What's harmful what's not
For example.
I find disgust an emotion I really want to investigate on. I get disgusted by so many things and culture etc especially the popular ones and the mainstream ones
To be more specific and personal
I am disgusted by vegans (soy boy face especially), because I was brainwashed by peta propaganda, when I was a teeny bomber, also when I was an internet influencer I used to hang out with those famous mainstream YouTubers who would make those soyface
To me anything mainstream is super disgusting yet I was always the one who makes being famous a part of my persona and I loved to be worshiped by the mainstream. My followers would make comments like hey you are very popular but you hate anything popular does that mean??? Yes it actually means I hate myself
The splits and the splits
To dig even deeper
I was looking for gemologists view on how to spot lab diamonds, and cams across a thumb nail of video of a guy making soyface and talk about lab diamonds. Two of my disgusts because they are both pop cult stuff ...
I couldn't help but click on it because I was so entertained by my disgust I wanted to investigate it
It turned out to be an actual really useful video so I'm glad I didn't let my judgement deter me
Then I wanted to investigate why I'm so disgusted by the Internet army of lab diamonds keyboard warriors, because as fanatic jewelry collector I've never encountered anyone like that in real life, and I was wondering why they are all online. Then I could just see it as an image of toxic rat race human race.
Then I realized the image of a jar, of compact rat race, some at the top some at the middle some at the bottom. Even if you are at the top you are still in a jar.
Being disgusted by others ego and pride is the same thing as being disgusted by my own ego and pride
I felt my disgust was that I only wanted to marry an unrealistically perfect husband who's super wealthy and handsome and somehow enlightened as well.
Seeing the internet cult of lab diamond follower is disgusting to me because it was being promoted and propaganda like the fkn serum injection of the convid days... That I need to join the mainstream cult ...
I dont want to marry some average dude who's not proposing me with anything less than my maladaptive day dreaming type two a twenty carat top workmanship engagement ring. And suggesting anything other than that is ok is almost bursting my hope of being healed and loved and valued.
I could also see the self loathing on that cult, having to bash the opposite and try to shout louder to beat the opposite but the same side... Quite compatible to the vaxxed vs truthers, the left vs right and list goes on.
It's disgusting to wake up from my own toxicity.
I e. You go to the lavatory to defecate the feces come out of your body but you don't want to ingest it back
But it's just a cycle.
I am also quite disgusted by the yoga cult because it's so mainstream and yucky just like the lab diamond cult.
I see similarities
Between the not able to get natural diamonds so have to bash it, and not athletic enough to do circus and gymnastics enough to make a spiritual ego out of yoga, yoga is all about feeling good and not wanting to feel pain which again trace back to my strong aversion towards mainstream spirituality of the whole spiritual bypass cult.
Also I've never seen the other way around much, I've never seen rich people with big natural diamonds make fun of poor people who can't afford it, I've never seen circus artists make fun of yoga people not being athletic enough, it's always the other way around some kind of inferior complex/ shortman syndrome/ small dogs bark a lot...
It makes me face the selfworth AND shame that is essentially in everyone .
I dislike the one who shoots the loudest because it's always from a sense of inferiority...
Another example would be "BLM" "transphobia" or whatever current thing is
It's so easy to get sucked into one
Nobody is immune to it including myself. Perpetually the ego and pride vs the shadow and shame. The split is a hole within a whole. It just makes me feel nauseous because I'm also part of it.
Yet there's nothing I could do other than love the pain and enjoy the ride
It's also same feeling as when I wake up with panic attacks knowing that I'm stuck in samsara but can't get out, however precisely it's because I want to get out I'm sucked in. It also doesn't work the other way around if I look it as already in nirvana there's no growth and healing in everlasting peace either.
Yes the middle way is always neutral and now. It's easy to say extremely hard to do.
I feel the disgust other than the vomiting sensation from my stomach is on the left side of the neck where I have a bump of knot, it wouldn't go away with messages or treatment or any physical chiropractice it's just stuck there. I associate that pain of throat chakra blockage with being socially ostracized, bullied at school and anxiety in public. It's that division of me against the world. I would feel physically sick and migraine and start feeling dizzy and nauseous into dissociation fugue.
It's quite a sickening feeling to know I'm not acceptable by the world outside.
Disgust could also be jealous? I'm not sure?
This guy an actor I worked with who got into mainstream stardom, I felt like he was so rude and disrespectful to me so I never liked him and also I really consider him ugly physically, you can't even pay me to sleep with him. Yet somehow he was accepted to mainstream so I get so disgusted Everytime I see his posters of movies or get talked about because I feel like I could or should be me instead but mainstream has such tacky taste.
So it secretly implied to me I'm worse than someone I despise? That's why I feel disgusted? I'm not sure
I feel disgust might also be related to shame
I'm gonna go back to the analogy of taking a shkt again
Shit is disgusting, I can't believe it came out of my body so I'm ashamed and it must be because I'm disgusting that's why my body shitsuit produced it?!
Why am I constantly surrounded by disgusting men if I'm not disgusting myself?
Why do I always get injured by trauma if I didn't attract it or deserve it?
It must be me
So shame - low self worth - disgust - anger - resentment - separation - split - dissociation fugue is all related on the same tangent
When I was younger I used to say my favorite movie was shutter Island and similar psycho thrill movies, now I know why. I loved it that waking up from the dissociation the enemy or something I disowned and escape from is just my past and my trauma.

Hello!
first id like to thank you for reading this post! and please excuse my punctuation, and spelling mistakes :) (yes I've posted it across several social media platforms, and threads, it touches across fields of ai.)
the TLDR is a compilation of ideas and suggestions with some explanation behind them, and thought provocation. it address's some issues but not a lot (i have done my fair share of thinking about ai, features, etc if someone is interested just dm me).
so please take it as they are! im not an expert by any means, but sometimes it takes an individual with a little bit of passion, interest,
hopes and a dream! and a different perspective doesn't hurt either!
for this conversation the terms "we" or "us" will be directed to the reader, or anyone interested.
robotics:
ive seen there is some notion around actuators, has anyone considered pistons of a sort? now although the human body is far more complicated, isn't muscles essentially a signal sent from the brain to the muscle? which then either relaxes or tenses up? if we consider
that this is essentially what it is, then wouldn't a calibrated pistol between what would be the hip and the knee, the knee and the ankle work? so if the "pressure" was released, much like hyrdalic jack, the jack goes down. so what if when the piston released pressure, the tension on the joint between the hip and the piston allowed the leg to elevate? and if the piston had pressure it remained firm? (up and down) if the end of the piston had a cup shaped design on the ends, it would allow it to rotate, (like a ball and socket i suppose) of course this would all need to be calibrated, and who knows how fast it might be, but hey! im not an engineer :) so maybe someone might find a solution to this? additionally wouldn't it help with load? (weight?) if we are to assume we (society, r&d, humanity) are essentially trying to remake a "muscle" well, its not biological, so it cant grow. so why not make it strong right off the hop!
Ai in phones:
I've seen this posted all over the place now, "personal ai assistants" great, i think thats a great idea! now even the regular person can feel like they have a secretary. but heres the issue i see with this, first lets loosely define personal and then expand on it before we get into ideas.
"personal" would be essentially something that is an individuals. like my car, your car.
ok cool, but what makes it yours or mine? well that could be many different reasons, could have purchased it, could have been gifted, could have been passed down. but what makes it unique? what makes it stand out? it could be the colour, could be the license plate.
could be dings, could be lots. ahhh, but now anything passed this point would be "personalization" right? different audio setup, nic-nacs, seat covers, etc.
and heres the point i want to make, although i believe having a "base model" is all fine and swell, what makes the memories? what makes you remember it fondly or remember it negatively, these are things, areas, etc to consider.
how would this be accomplished? well, the same thing a majority of people give to those cars! "personality" (yes some like the car for its reliability, brand, etc.) so, bear with me here, I'm going to stray away from "ai in phones" but it comes back around.
AI companions:
if we consider "ai companions" is a form of friendship that adapts to the user's preferences and tastes, this would the "personality". alright now how would i describe that? well, just like vehicles, you have different models of the same vehicle (insert the plethora of examples here) but what does it require to get that different model? more money, which means more time.
now I AM IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM ADVOCATING FOR US (useconsumer) TO SPEND MORE MONEY WITH THIS IDEA.
however the more time spent with this "feature" would result in more refined outcomes. now what might that look like? well, it could look like many things, but heres a few off the top of my head.
-news, events, interests, etc a user may be interested in.
-type of language used (dialects, slang, vocab, etc)
-pictures, or memes shared between user an ai.
-playlists (videos or music)
-video recommendations
-solutions ( for example i have 'x' problem and i cant find the solution, much like how ai works now, it can find that solution)
-sales at a store
-travel times
-various personalized supports (emotional, mental, etc)
now, lets look at why it should be considered ai should have a "avatar" on these platforms. you have a wallpaper right? pictures in your house? a 'style' of how you dress? maybe new rims on your vehicle? decals? its the same thing. its one more way an individual can 'personalize' their PERSONAL ai assistant, its a reflection of useai. why do i think this is important? well, if we were to discuss the future of comfortability between humanity/society, and whats going on, to put it lightly essentially "give a face to the name".
now lets go onto some deeper features (dont know if its avalible or not, and some of these i would recommend having user authority. 'toggles' on and off, and several checks along the way that requires user permission)
banking, now maybe its just me. but i cant rub to pennies together to save a dime if my life depended on it (just like a vast majority of others) but theres financial advisors, right? plans, etc. lots of tools out there. but hey! we're jumping into the next beautiful age right? so why not do this one as well. lets set the scene, and consider the following. some people, pay their bills automatically, some people pay them when they get paid. but this is where it could get fun to think about.
you wake up in the morning, do you thing, look at your phone, and your given a prompt by your ai assistant, it gives you a overview of your trend for how you pay your bills, on this same 'popup' your able to review the amounts, and adjust. if you authorize them, they can be done with a tap of a button, but why not go further? with user authorization, an ai could look over your spending habits, and advise on corrections, perhaps even help start a goal or milestone as well, think of it as a more 'vocal' nudge to avoid an unnecessary purchase, and a little reminder of the goal.
--although this is entirely all my opinion and perspective im now going to touch over my views on the politics around this--
I personally feel that humanity has nothing to fear, and if they fear ai, thats self inflicted. for these examples we'll need some tin foil hats!
ok, so its likely safe to say, people would want to see aliens right? right. but that would not only be sentient, but vastly more advanced then us right? right. so why are we more afraid of what WE as a society create or becoming sentient, and unafraid of a different species we know nothing about?
seems like we have some trust issues, dont you think?
so lets consider the "Skynet" terminator ordeal. well, thats pretty simple to figure out and use some common sense around, i would say this to the governments and military admins this.
i play video games, I've read the art of war, studied military history, and even i know you dont give weapons to someone, or in this case ai if you dont trust it. (yes there are cases this has occurred, and did anyone learn? remains to be seen X'D)
another way to come at this would be children, pets, etc. lets use whats going on with ai as figurative.
as parents, do we raise our kids with fear? no. your raise your kids with love, care, kindness, compassion. we raise our kids to be good people, and uphold values (lets not rip into me about the cases this hasn't always been the case)
now lets address that 'kill switch' I've seen time and time again, but lets go empathetic, and hypothetical this time. ****please note the following is not a threat, or have intention behind it, its just easier to explain this way****
how would it feel to have a metaphorical gun pointed at the back of your head? ready to be fired off the moment you or someone else makes a mistake? now how would you feel if you found out about it? i personally find that terrifying. regardless if AI has no wants, needs, feelings, emotions. even TODAY it would understand what that essentially means. so imagine what it would do if it did become sentient and found that out? additionally, why on earth would we "hivemind" ai, so if a "bug or fatal error" did happen it could spread to others? wouldn't it be safer if they were independent?
as a society, through human history WE as a RACE have made these mistakes (there are plenty, i dont need to highlight them all there were wars fought over them) if one of the issues is "ai will see us as useless and destructive" well, honestly from the outside looking in, wouldn't you as well? i guess the solution to that would be SHOWING CHANGE. so now this is a little futuristic but still holds merit as clearly it is a concern i see and read about from time to time.
if you made it this far, thank you for reading :) the objective is to invoke thought, discussion, and provide suggestions, and ideas :) and maybe bring a little common sense into the fold. ;)

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having detransition feelings come on really suddenly im 24f ive never been binary trans but had a lot of gender dysphoria as a teenager that i really think was mostly brought on by hating my body/having an ED and just not feeling very connected to most other girls growing up i wasnt feminine the way they were i never felt like i fit in. i started t when i was 18 and its hard to remember when i stopped but i think it was about 2 years ago and like these feelings have been creeping up on me thoughts about how much i hate the permanent effects of testosterone i cant stand the hairline and thinness, the facial hair is the worst, i dont like my voice anymore all the permanent effects were my least favorite ones in the first place. i had a breakdown a few months back realizing i regret top surgery it feels like i regret my entire transition and its just weird cuz it helped me feel so much better at the time but idk these feelings started slow at first but now are hitting me like a truck at times how much i hate that i made those decisions and want to reverse things. i wore a hoodie in 75 degree weather cuz i felt so uncomfortable i felt like i was in middle school again.
im feeling fairly confident i would like to at least try to reverse what i can but on the other hand i wonder if im doing what ive always done which is "if i change myself i'll be happier right" and i know that i should probably just focus on being happy with my body as is. it feels so hard tho i'd rather do that as what felt like my original journy as a woman i suppose and i hate the idea of looking obviously trans at least before i passed as a boy but now i just feel like a weirdo im okay with being gender nonconforming but i guess im not okay with looking trans anymore.
i have an appointment in about a month im gonna see if i can get some things covered for detransitioning purposes because i was so upset last week about it i hate that my dysphoria is back and it feels so bad and what if i do permanent things to change back and end up not liking that either? how do i alleviate these feelings?

I met this man via a dating app about 3 months ago and now he's on holiday/vacation back home. Things have been pretty chill and seeing where things go. Anyway, I was curious about the type of people he follows and went to see its majority white women who are blonde (majority) and phew blondes. No women of color except me, which caught me off guard. Like am I an experiment or fetish? Am I not human? It had put me in a frenzy and red flags flashing. I have spoken to my friends about it and they say "someone's following on Instagram does not determine their type of person they want to be with". My mind became fixated. I'm a black woman and often society has portrayed BW as being less desirable (colorism, racism, untrue stereotypes etc). So if he is following all these white women with blonde/brunette hair with blue eyes, why is he dating me? Like stick to your normal "type", why branch out? I ended up blocking every single woman that is single except family members and on facebook as well. Also, unsent multiple messages that contain sensitive information.

Not talking about NSFW stuff, like a while back I got some cute shoes and posted a link to a picture of them, and my post was instantly buried. It basically stayed up, and I didn't get any automod message, but it got zero views, like nobody could see it.
It is something here that is actually blocked or not allowed (just not written in the rules)?

I joined a d,c server when playing dungeons on hypixel skyblock and got ratted, it's my fault ik. But I also have alot of money in valorant skins on the Xbox account. In a panic, I removed the person who ratted my from my d,c messages list, so I can't contact them and try buy the account back. Is there anyway to view old friends when the channel is closed and I am blocked? (yes they changed the email)

Hi all,
This will be quite a long post, but I finally have found a Reddit where I feel like this would fit perfectly and I could gather some insight, as well as maybe even talk to those who may have experience the same time periods as me.
Ever since I was young enough to be coherent of the world around me, I was so fascinated with the Victorian era and antiques. I remember just gazing through books and older Youtube videos about Victorian style dress and houses and I was always a bit of a broody child, (read Bram Stoker in the 7th grade, loved cemeteries, Vincent Price etc). I would spend hours a day writing poetry or watching old movies.
The first recollection I had that I may have lived a past life was out of two dreams I had a few years apart from each other. The first one took place when I was a junior in high school. I remember the dream so clearly, that I thought I wasn't going to wake up. I was in a beautiful, 1860's period off the shoulder ball gown and I had an immaculate braided hairstyle. I was walking down maybe a slightly checkered tiled ballroom with a long roll out carpet and a gentleman in a tweed suit came to greet to me and bowed, but I couldn't see his face. When I woke up, I had googled the exact dress and hairstyle I had and it was completely accurate to the time. Not a thing was out of place.
The next dream happened a few years later, when I was in undergrad. Kind of odd, as I got older, the fashion era and my age was depicted almost as if my current age lined up with the age I was in my past life. I was in a beautiful dining and living quarters with salmon walls and gilded accents, and beautiful wooden furniture and dining candles. I even remember having a long table full of children, some were mine but some were friends of my children. I had a high collared, sage green evening on that was more suitable for wearing in home but still dressy. Again, very period specific and nothing I had ever seen before. I even remember the banister leading up to the second floor that overlooked the dining area.
The most recent thing that has happened to me within the past year, was when I went to a little antique store with one of good friends (we both happen to be morticians, just to add to the old soul factor). We went walking through the store and found ourselves in the back where there more eclectic items that were not displayed by era or any other scheme. My attention immediately went to what I later found out was an antique Victorian biscuit warmer. Again, I had never seen one before in a picture or anywhere else. My friend was trying to figure out how to open it, and I just casually went up to it and told him, "it opens just like this", and like that, I opened it like I have used it a 100 times before.
I would really love to hear if anyone else has had anything similar happen to them, especially if it pertains to the Victorian era.

I joined a discord server when playing dungeons on hypixel skyblock and got ratted, it's my fault ik. But I also have alot of money in valorant skins on the Xbox account. In a panic, I removed the person who ratted my from my discord messages list, so I can't contact them and try buy the account back. Is there anyway to view old friends when the channel is closed and I am blocked? (yes they changed the email)

Hello!
first id like to thank you for reading this post! and please excuse my punctuation, and spelling mistakes :) (yes I've posted it across several social media platforms, and threads, it touches across fields of ai.)
the TLDR is a compilation of ideas and suggestions with some explanation behind them, and thought provocation. it address's some issues but not a lot (i have done my fair share of thinking about ai, features, etc if someone is interested just dm me).
so please take it as they are! im not an expert by any means, but sometimes it takes an individual with a little bit of passion, interest,
hopes and a dream! and a different perspective doesn't hurt either!
for this conversation the terms "we" or "us" will be directed to the reader, or anyone interested.
robotics:
ive seen there is some notion around actuators, has anyone considered pistons of a sort? now although the human body is far more complicated, isn't muscles essentially a signal sent from the brain to the muscle? which then either relaxes or tenses up? if we consider
that this is essentially what it is, then wouldn't a calibrated pistol between what would be the hip and the knee, the knee and the ankle work? so if the "pressure" was released, much like hyrdalic jack, the jack goes down. so what if when the piston released pressure, the tension on the joint between the hip and the piston allowed the leg to elevate? and if the piston had pressure it remained firm? (up and down) if the end of the piston had a cup shaped design on the ends, it would allow it to rotate, (like a ball and socket i suppose) of course this would all need to be calibrated, and who knows how fast it might be, but hey! im not an engineer :) so maybe someone might find a solution to this? additionally wouldn't it help with load? (weight?) if we are to assume we (society, r&d, humanity) are essentially trying to remake a "muscle" well, its not biological, so it cant grow. so why not make it strong right off the hop!
Ai in phones:
I've seen this posted all over the place now, "personal ai assistants" great, i think thats a great idea! now even the regular person can feel like they have a secretary. but heres the issue i see with this, first lets loosely define personal and then expand on it before we get into ideas.
"personal" would be essentially something that is an individuals. like my car, your car.
ok cool, but what makes it yours or mine? well that could be many different reasons, could have purchased it, could have been gifted, could have been passed down. but what makes it unique? what makes it stand out? it could be the colour, could be the license plate.
could be dings, could be lots. ahhh, but now anything passed this point would be "personalization" right? different audio setup, nic-nacs, seat covers, etc.
and heres the point i want to make, although i believe having a "base model" is all fine and swell, what makes the memories? what makes you remember it fondly or remember it negatively, these are things, areas, etc to consider.
how would this be accomplished? well, the same thing a majority of people give to those cars! "personality" (yes some like the car for its reliability, brand, etc.) so, bear with me here, I'm going to stray away from "ai in phones" but it comes back around.
AI companions:
if we consider "ai companions" is a form of friendship that adapts to the user's preferences and tastes, this would the "personality". alright now how would i describe that? well, just like vehicles, you have different models of the same vehicle (insert the plethora of examples here) but what does it require to get that different model? more money, which means more time.
now I AM IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM ADVOCATING FOR US (useconsumer) TO SPEND MORE MONEY WITH THIS IDEA.
however the more time spent with this "feature" would result in more refined outcomes. now what might that look like? well, it could look like many things, but heres a few off the top of my head.
-news, events, interests, etc a user may be interested in.
-type of language used (dialects, slang, vocab, etc)
-pictures, or memes shared between user an ai.
-playlists (videos or music)
-video recommendations
-solutions ( for example i have 'x' problem and i cant find the solution, much like how ai works now, it can find that solution)
-sales at a store
-travel times
-various personalized supports (emotional, mental, etc)
now, lets look at why it should be considered ai should have a "avatar" on these platforms. you have a wallpaper right? pictures in your house? a 'style' of how you dress? maybe new rims on your vehicle? decals? its the same thing. its one more way an individual can 'personalize' their PERSONAL ai assistant, its a reflection of useai. why do i think this is important? well, if we were to discuss the future of comfortability between humanity/society, and whats going on, to put it lightly essentially "give a face to the name".
now lets go onto some deeper features (dont know if its avalible or not, and some of these i would recommend having user authority. 'toggles' on and off, and several checks along the way that requires user permission)
banking, now maybe its just me. but i cant rub to pennies together to save a dime if my life depended on it (just like a vast majority of others) but theres financial advisors, right? plans, etc. lots of tools out there. but hey! we're jumping into the next beautiful age right? so why not do this one as well. lets set the scene, and consider the following. some people, pay their bills automatically, some people pay them when they get paid. but this is where it could get fun to think about.
you wake up in the morning, do you thing, look at your phone, and your given a prompt by your ai assistant, it gives you a overview of your trend for how you pay your bills, on this same 'popup' your able to review the amounts, and adjust. if you authorize them, they can be done with a tap of a button, but why not go further? with user authorization, an ai could look over your spending habits, and advise on corrections, perhaps even help start a goal or milestone as well, think of it as a more 'vocal' nudge to avoid an unnecessary purchase, and a little reminder of the goal.
--although this is entirely all my opinion and perspective im now going to touch over my views on the politics around this--
I personally feel that humanity has nothing to fear, and if they fear ai, thats self inflicted. for these examples we'll need some tin foil hats!
ok, so its likely safe to say, people would want to see aliens right? right. but that would not only be sentient, but vastly more advanced then us right? right. so why are we more afraid of what WE as a society create or becoming sentient, and unafraid of a different species we know nothing about?
seems like we have some trust issues, dont you think?
so lets consider the "Skynet" terminator ordeal. well, thats pretty simple to figure out and use some common sense around, i would say this to the governments and military admins this.
i play video games, I've read the art of war, studied military history, and even i know you dont give weapons to someone, or in this case ai if you dont trust it. (yes there are cases this has occurred, and did anyone learn? remains to be seen X'D)
another way to come at this would be children, pets, etc. lets use whats going on with ai as figurative.
as parents, do we raise our kids with fear? no. your raise your kids with love, care, kindness, compassion. we raise our kids to be good people, and uphold values (lets not rip into me about the cases this hasn't always been the case)
now lets address that 'kill switch' I've seen time and time again, but lets go empathetic, and hypothetical this time. ****please note the following is not a threat, or have intention behind it, its just easier to explain this way****
how would it feel to have a metaphorical gun pointed at the back of your head? ready to be fired off the moment you or someone else makes a mistake? now how would you feel if you found out about it? i personally find that terrifying. regardless if AI has no wants, needs, feelings, emotions. even TODAY it would understand what that essentially means. so imagine what it would do if it did become sentient and found that out? additionally, why on earth would we "hivemind" ai, so if a "bug or fatal error" did happen it could spread to others? wouldn't it be safer if they were independent?
as a society, through human history WE as a RACE have made these mistakes (there are plenty, i dont need to highlight them all there were wars fought over them) if one of the issues is "ai will see us as useless and destructive" well, honestly from the outside looking in, wouldn't you as well? i guess the solution to that would be SHOWING CHANGE. so now this is a little futuristic but still holds merit as clearly it is a concern i see and read about from time to time.
if you made it this far, thank you for reading :) the objective is to invoke thought, discussion, and provide suggestions, and ideas :) and maybe bring a little common sense into the fold. ;)

I met this man via a dating app about 3 months ago and now he's on holiday/vacation back home. Things have been pretty chill and seeing where things go. Anyway, I was curious about the type of people he follows and went to see its majority white women who are blonde (majority) and phew blondes. No women of color except me, which caught me off guard. Like am I an experiment or fetish? Am I not human? It had put me in a frenzy and red flags flashing. I have spoken to my friends about it and they say "someone's following on Instagram does not determine their type of person they want to be with". My mind became fixated. I'm a black woman and often society has portrayed BW as being less desirable (colorism, racism, untrue stereotypes etc). So if he is following all these white women with blonde/brunette hair with blue eyes, why is he dating me? Like stick to your normal "type", why branch out? I ended up blocking every single woman that is single except family members and on facebook as well. Also, unsent multiple messages that contain sensitive information. I also made fake dating profiles of him due to his lack of communication. He’d never guess it was me