I swallow the last of my pills
As the night sky starts to marble
I cry to God why?
Why did I have to turn out this way?
I sold out my penance, my self endured pain
Just for a piece of understanding
Never knowing that it would be misapprehened
These choices are a question of right mind
Yet I scream this to a man I've never seen
But i talk to him and have full belief he's there
So psychotic is what I must be
Rehashing worst case scenarios over and over
Questioning if I'm human to the point
I believe I'm a machine
Ones and zeroes over and over
Till I break down under the extreme stress
So neurotic is what I must be
How can I be both but slip between them like cracks in the stones
My face is raw from coughing blood and tar
Just the remnants of a life I left behind
Again were my choices made of right mind?
A little ledge between neurotic and psychotic
I highly doubt a world like that exists
I dont see a middle ground between
I'm always on the borderline of each
Till something pushes me one way or the other
I constantly question how I can keep living
Knowing I'm always falling between
Knowing there is no understsnding for people like me
So why bother to keep trying
Why bother to change at all
When you are a walking dichotomy
Of your mother's love and your father's hate
All bundled into person with 3 souls
Like siblings fighting for attention
You just want silence
So silence is what I've given myself
The sky's looking like someone ran their hand through it
Stars streaking down like tears on my face
And the moon broken in three
Like the person I was conditioned to be
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/s/sEqZq9zFX1
https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/s/64AQNcb2tu

Hello all. Looking to offload a bunch of my manga. There’s both some OOP sets as well as some common series.
PLEASE NOTE…..
I AM NOT CURRENTLY LOOKING TO SPLIT SETS PLEASE DONT ASK FOR SPLITS.
ONLY US SHIPPING.
I AM OPEN TO OFFERS.
Full DISCLAIMER that I have not read any of these series. They have been bought either new or used and have been sitting on my bookcases this whole time. There is varying degrees of yellowing from series to series and volume to volume. Most have some degree of normal shelf wear. There may be ripped/marked pages or even missing pages (although I doubt it as most of the volumes as you’ll see in the pictures are in overall good to great condition).
They have been kept away from sunlight (blackout curtains on the bookcases) and my apartment is a non-smoking apartment.
All series have pictures of the series as a whole as well as what I can visually inspect and find anything on the outside of the volumes. PLEASE LOOK AT THE PICTURES TO SEE THE FULL CONDITION OF THE SERIES. If you need any clarification or more pictures of a series or a volume please let me know and I can get more pictures or clarify the extent of the damage if there is any.
All packages are shipped using Media Mail or whichever method is cheaper unless otherwise discussed for a different option. Any Package over $200 will have a signature required
I will ship these out as promptly as possible.
UPDATED TIMESTAMP https://imgur.com/a/6kmVDqF
MANGA FULL/PARTIAL SETS
GTO 14 Days in Shonan 1-9 $199: https://imgur.com/a/BDAxPLk
Tokyo ESP 1-8 $75.8: https://imgur.com/a/HLYaKIv
Jack the Ripper 1-5 $64: https://imgur.com/a/dAnXyNu
Doubt 1-2 (G3) $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/eCGFXh7
As Miss Beelzebub Likes 1-8 $77.3: https://imgur.com/a/d4SxSvF
Helvatica Standard Italic and Bold $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/0yVvc5a
Sickness Death 1-2: $22.5: https://imgur.com/a/DC5aY8C
Moteki 1-2: $31: https://imgur.com/a/owHeRFd
7th Garden 1-8: $55: https://imgur.com/a/vMDFKOS
Lament of the Lamb 1-5 $38.5: https://imgur.com/a/uJL4TWi
A Centaurs Life 1-16 $110.5: https://imgur.com/a/kEjlS3I
Not Lives 1-10 $54.8: https://imgur.com/a/9xHc3s3
Ultra man 1-3 $25.5: https://imgur.com/a/IxhKha3
Steins Gate 1-3 with volume 1 Loot Crate Ed: $73.9: https://imgur.com/a/ozbXByP
Cat Paradise 1-5 $48.8: https://imgur.com/a/C0NHRcS
Afterschool Charisma 1-12 $104.5: https://imgur.com/a/dqgSepT
Franken Fran Omnibus 1-4 $105: https://imgur.com/a/HUuzIyf
Croquis Pop 1-6 $59.3: https://imgur.com/a/9AAqQdd
Blue Dragon: Ral Grad 1-4 $40: https://imgur.com/a/OgXOTRi
Nora: The Last Chronicle 1-9 $65: https://imgur.com/a/z1gKt6K
Holy Corpse Rising 1-7 $68: https://imgur.com/a/0zMAmVL
Evergreen 1-4 $30.5: https://imgur.com/a/X4kHQJl
Tomodachi x Monster 1-3 $20.5: https://imgur.com/a/vgtS0OI
Clay Lord 1-3 $20.5: https://imgur.com/a/Iiglf8K
Die Wergelder 1-2 $30.5: https://imgur.com/a/j845ceF
Handa-Kun 1-7 $73: https://imgur.com/a/OzHnY01
Clockwork Planet manga 1-10 $99.9: https://imgur.com/a/RhTZ7UI
Himouto Umaru-Chan 1-10 $102: https://imgur.com/a/vxctepq
Immortal Hound 1-6 $57: https://imgur.com/a/mchdje7
Drifting Classroom singles 1-11 $235: https://imgur.com/a/ocIEFQj
To the Abandoned Sacred Beast 1-9 $68.4: https://imgur.com/a/drRKrM5
Zero Familiar Omnibus 1-3 $79.6: https://imgur.com/a/h8ZbSPk
Zero Familiar Chronicles 1-4 $30: https://imgur.com/a/VoJpHEY
Genshiken 1-9 $55: https://imgur.com/a/FYgcBNP
Nirvana 1-2 $14: https://imgur.com/a/iZM0Ykl
Arpeggio of Blue Steel 1-15 $210: https://imgur.com/a/jrZpjQa (ON HOLD)
Dragon Drive 1-14 $140: https://imgur.com/a/1vOAIAk
War World Blue 1-7 $39: https://imgur.com/a/S1EvMxf
Ancient Magus Bride 1-12 including special booklet $89.4: https://imgur.com/a/MZYOyrm
Grand Blue Dreaming 1-9 $81: https://imgur.com/a/ThkB6uR
Servamp 1-13 $143.3: https://imgur.com/a/eUmYvOr
Urusei Yatsura 1-7 $105: https://imgur.com/a/X1oFmkV
Devils and Realist 1-15 $192: https://imgur.com/a/HPygdtC
D-Frag 1-13 $195: https://imgur.com/a/LRu7jWN
Ajin Demi-Humans 1-14 $132: https://imgur.com/a/CWqqu76
Haganai 1-18 plus 50% more fails and Club Minutes $490: https://imgur.com/a/pe9miPe
Shield Hero Manga 1-4 $36: https://imgur.com/a/ngj3RO7
Delinquent Housewife 1-4 $38.4: https://imgur.com/a/JIX0eHj
H.P. Lovecraft At Mountains Madness 1-2 $28: https://imgur.com/a/otM8XMY
Kuma Miko 1-8 $72.6: https://imgur.com/a/gKwpXob
Yokai Rental Shop 1-4 $35: https://imgur.com/a/nV0ogZe
Ghost Diary 1-3 $26: https://imgur.com/a/LV4v7Hp
Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average 1-3 $37: https://imgur.com/a/SGkl3be
Land of the Lustrous 1-9 $88.5: https://imgur.com/a/7XyfHzS
Emannon 1-3 $33: https://imgur.com/a/6Z1jkKp
LIGHT NOVELS FULL AND PARTIAL SETS
No Game No Life 1-10 97.3: https://imgur.com/a/6OIObXb
Goblin Slayer 1-9 $83.2: https://imgur.com/a/wLT1Yk6
Spice and Wolf LN 1-21 $231: https://imgur.com/a/h30MTQm
Wolf and Parchment 1-3 $33.5: https://imgur.com/a/6fhsX0P
Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash 1-13 $126.9: https://imgur.com/a/5ltzcKQ
Haruhi Suzumiya Hardcover Light Novel 1-11 $393: https://imgur.com/a/42QCvgn
Another Hardcover LN $21.7: https://imgur.com/a/UIiTYMu
Another Episode S/O HC LN $19.8: https://imgur.com/a/GX4YAg9
Pretty boy Detective Club LN 1-3 $31: https://imgur.com/a/xIE9M4p
Ancient Magus Bride Silver Yarn $9: https://imgur.com/a/DpBEsOB
Ancient Magus Bride Golden Yarn $9: https://imgur.com/a/Z56HdfE
SINGLE VOLUMES
The Mysterious Underground Men $95: https://imgur.com/a/xff7GkK
Haruhi Manga Anthology $16: https://imgur.com/a/B0xCET1
Another Omnibus Volume $20: https://imgur.com/a/GBOhHVF
Summer Wars $18: https://imgur.com/a/Fz3CWvq
Gantz (32,33, 35, 36 sold) 10, 12, (10 & 12 are ex library copies) 34 still available, SOLD INDIVIDUALLY NOT AS A SET. $45 for v34, 10 and 12 for $14 each: https://imgur.com/a/0ETgC1t
Dream Fossil $17.8: https://imgur.com/a/M4d07mD
She and Her Cat $10.5: https://imgur.com/a/ugTlUci
Venus in the Blind $19: https://imgur.com/a/hLuIyFJ
Scumbag Loser $16.5: https://imgur.com/a/FZuhHni
Ancient Magus Bride Supplement 1 $9: https://imgur.com/a/pqYAxti
Ancient Magus Bride Supplement 2 $9: https://imgur.com/a/aXYOknU
Ancient Magus Bride Merkmal Official Guide book $9: https://imgur.com/a/t26T7G3
Gigi Monster with slipcover $30: https://imgur.com/a/WpiNfNu
Maiden Railway $8: https://imgur.com/a/GzDKh4O
An Invitation from a Crab $10: https://imgur.com/a/t3UGJiE
A Girl on the Shore $11.5: https://imgur.com/a/EKbvRQY
PEZ $8: https://imgur.com/a/uUxTgZN
ARTBOOKS/ILLUSTRATIONS
Tokyo Ghoul are: Zakki $15: https://imgur.com/a/CoNXxX4
D.Gray Man Illustrations NOCHE $25: https://imgur.com/a/zot5KUc
The Art of My Neighbor Totoro $30: https://imgur.com/a/ECaDNkx
Otomo: $19: https://imgur.com/a/P5gPysl4

A day ago I nearly lost it, it was late and getting ready for bed when one of his cats fell of cat tree, got scared and jump on their food bowls/water, it was a mess everywhere. Instead of cleaning it first my bf decides to go check on her and finds her hiding in the litter box, as he’s halfway cleaning she comes out her all body covered in litter walking across the living room, I’ve never been so grossed out in my life and he ran to go grab paper towels she freaks out again, jump on tv stand , cough and up then upstairs. I froze, didn’t want to touch anything nor take another step, stood there the all time as she cleaned everything, and I said tomorrow they gotta go. He didn’t say a word then later agreed he couldn’t do this anymore and wants them gone as well. He called a no kill shelter they placed us on a waiting list.
I’ve posted a few times about his cats, about 4 months ago he finally agreed on rehoming.I gave him till end of June to figure something or he goes with them .He posted them on facebook groups, was met with his mom guilt tripping him and me being the bag guy. Only 2 people showed interest the week they were posted , 1st was a crazy cat lady with like 15 of them who never came through, then the second one stopped communicating. Since then they’ve been a little worse with the throwing up everywhere. Last month I decided to take on some home remodeling (we stopped everything because “cats”) and I’ve had to redo the same thing 4 times because they keep destroying it and as for paint , it won’t dry because we can’t leave doors open for good airflow. We posted on a private website and paid to be featured still nothing. Any suggestions?

Welcome to the daily /Coffee question thread!
There are no stupid questions here, ask a question and get an answer! We all have to start somewhere and sometimes it is hard to figure out just what you are doing right or doing wrong. Luckily, the /Coffee community loves to help out.
Do you have a question about how to use a specific piece of gear or what gear you should be buying? Want to know how much coffee you should use or how you should grind it? Not sure about how much water you should use or how hot it should be? Wondering about your coffee's shelf life?
Don't forget to use the resources in our wiki! We have some great starter guides on our wiki "Guides" page and here is the wiki "Gear By Price" page if you'd like to see coffee gear that /Coffee members recommend.
As always, be nice!

Bit of an odd question here, but I got injured recently playing basketball, (M25) and was hoping to see if anyone had recommendations for sports-focused PT’s in Scottsdale. I am asking here because
A). I don’t have a primary care physician here. I just moved here this year from the Midwest and I honestly have not had to go see the doctor yet once. I probably should find one, but I am also dreading the headache it will be to make sure my insurance until 2025 accepts everything as mine is still currently based out of state and I can’t get it switched over to AZ until next year.
B). I have been told AZ is one of a few states where you don’t need the referral from a primary care doctor to get in right away. This is different from what I have lived with my entire life until now.
Does Mayo Clinic have outpatient PT? I’m just using them as an example because they are obviously a world class name brand in medicine and it’s 5 minutes from my place. If anyone else has reccomendationss for PT’s in the area that will help me get back to high level sports as efficiently as possible, I would appreciate any advice.

So I finished matric in 2020 and did very badly. Didn't even go to school after covid hit and only went like twice a week after schools reopened in June. I rewrote twice and got okay marks.

• Pure Maths - 88%
• Home Language - 84%
• English First Additional Language - 92%
• Business Studies - 82%
• Computer Applications Technology - 94%
• Information Technology - 86%
• LO - 68%. Idk what happened here.

As you can see I don't have Physical Sciences and Life Sciences which are needed for medicine and I have been told I can add subjects with the amended senior certificate.
Some of my friends got into medicine with lesser marks, but they had life and physical science since grade 10. Would I be able to apply to medicine with amended senior certificate if I write it next year?

So I finished matric in 2020 and did very badly. Didn't even go to school after covid hit and only went like twice a week after schools reopened in June. I rewrote twice and got okay marks.

• Pure Maths - 88%
• Home Language - 84%
• English First Additional Language - 92%
• Business Studies - 82%
• Computer Applications Technology - 94%
• Information Technology - 86%
• LO - 68%. Idk what happened here.

As you can see I don't have Physical Sciences and Life Sciences which are needed for medicine and I have been told I can add subjects with the amended senior certificate.
Some of my friends got into medicine with lesser marks, but they had life and physical science since grade 10. Would I be able to apply to medicine with amended senior certificate if I write it next year?

I'll try to keep this simultaneously concise and thorough:
-10 month-old boy
-Been crawling and pulling himself up for a little less than a month now. Not walking yet.
-Babbling, no real words yet.
-bedtime routine: bath, lotions, lullaby, bottle, brush teeth, burp, rock, put down between 8:30-9 (same routine for most of his life)
-We typically rock him fully asleep, then put him down.
-We've tried in earnest to re-ferber him, but it's more challenging this time because he can roll, sit up, and even pull himself up standing when we leave home alone.
-physically healthy (no cough, sneezing, fever, etc)
-2 naps a day, each one 1-2 hours long

• 7-8 hours of sleep at night + 1-2 hour nap + 1-2 hour nap = 9-12 hours of sleep in a 24-hour cycle. Typically 10mo babies should be getting 13-15 hours.

-He could be teething (but then why is he only waking up once, and why the same timeframe every morning?)
Please help. My wife and I are exhausted from waking up at 4-5am every morning, spending an hour+ trying to put him back down, and FAILING every. single. morning.
Thank you.

Traveling is often about discovering new landscapes, cuisines, and cultures. But what if your journey also included exploring ancient wisdom and healing traditions? In the heart of Himachal Pradesh, homestays offer more than just a place to stay; they provide a gateway to the rich heritage of local medicinal plants and traditional healing practices. Whether you're at the best homestay in Shimla or one of the luxury homestays in Himachal you're in for an enlightening experience that connects you with nature's pharmacy and the time-honored wisdom of the locals.

The Best Homestay in Shimla: A Gateway to Nature's Pharmacy

Shimla, known for its serene beauty and colonial charm, is also a treasure trove of medicinal plants. Staying at the best homestay in Shimla, such as Apple Blossom Retreat, offers a unique opportunity to delve into the world of traditional healing. The hosts, who have deep-rooted knowledge of the local flora, often take guests on guided walks through nearby forests and meadows, pointing out various medicinal plants and explaining their uses.
During one such walk, I was introduced to the “Himalayan Yew,” known for its anti-cancer properties, and “Rhododendron,” whose flowers are used to make a soothing tea that helps alleviate headaches and cold symptoms. The hosts shared fascinating stories about how these plants have been used for centuries in local remedies, providing a deeper appreciation of the region's natural resources.

Luxury Homestays in Himachal: Blending Comfort with Traditional Healing

For those seeking a more opulent experience, luxury homestays in Himachal, like the Royal Pine Palace in Manali, offer both comfort and a connection to traditional healing practices. These homestays often have beautifully maintained gardens where medicinal plants are grown. Guests can learn about the cultivation and uses of these plants, and even participate in workshops on making herbal infusions, balms, and other natural remedies.
At Royal Pine Palace, the hosts organize regular sessions with local healers and Ayurveda practitioners who share their knowledge of traditional medicine. One evening, I attended a session on Ayurveda, learning about the principles of this ancient healing system and how it integrates with the local traditions of using medicinal plants. The experience was both relaxing and educational, providing insights into how these practices promote holistic well-being.

Discovering Traditional Healing Practices

Himachal Pradesh is rich in traditional healing practices that are passed down through generations. At the best homestay in Shimla, I had the opportunity to meet a local healer who demonstrated the use of “Nagkesar,” a plant used to treat digestive issues and joint pain. He explained how the plant's bark is made into a paste and applied to the affected areas, a practice that has been effective for centuries.
In the luxury homestays in Himachal, such as Royal Pine Palace, the integration of traditional healing with modern comforts is seamless. The homestay offers spa treatments that incorporate locally sourced medicinal plants. A massage with oils infused with “Kuth” (Saussurea lappa) and “Ashwagandha” not only relaxes the body but also rejuvenates the mind, showcasing the powerful benefits of these ancient remedies.

Immersive Experiences

The beauty of staying at these homestays lies in the immersive experiences they offer. At Apple Blossom Retreat in Shimla, evenings were spent learning to prepare herbal teas and concoctions using plants like “Tulsi” (Holy Basil) and “Giloy” (Tinospora cordifolia). The hosts explained how these plants boost immunity and detoxify the body, emphasizing the importance of using fresh, locally sourced ingredients.
Similarly, at Royal Pine Palace, I joined a cooking class that incorporated medicinal herbs into traditional Himachali cuisine. Dishes like “Siddu,” a steamed bread stuffed with a mixture of poppy seeds and ground nuts, were enhanced with herbs like “Ajwain” (Carom seeds) known for their digestive benefits. These classes highlighted how traditional knowledge is seamlessly woven into everyday life, making the experience both delicious and enlightening.

Conclusion

Staying at the best homestay in Shimla or one of the luxury homestays in Himachal offers a unique opportunity to connect with the region’s rich heritage of medicinal plants and traditional healing practices. These homestays provide more than just a luxurious stay; they open the doors to a world of ancient wisdom and natural remedies. Whether through guided nature walks, hands-on workshops, or immersive cooking classes, guests leave with a deeper appreciation of how traditional knowledge can enhance modern living. Embrace the chance to learn and heal, and let the beauty and wisdom of Himachal Pradesh transform your travel experience.

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, slapping each other on the back and saying , "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a local school, not speaking Hebrew, being lumped together with Russian kids who also didn't speak Hebrew, and getting beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊

I was speaking to brenda about one of ours who’d inexplicably died of heart failure during a PFT run one year, and that made me think of another in that same unit who was also very liked: Joseph Shannahan. But to those of us who knew and loved him, he was simply “Shaky.”
He had a neurological condition of some sort, I suppose, though in the field of medicine I am not versed beyond the wetting in the pond of knowledge the mere tip of one large toe and its attendant raptor claw of a discolored toenail that resists all efforts at trimming with anything less than a pair of tinsnips. If name it had, or I ever heard, that knowledge is now lost to the sands of time, and overindulgence in that time of certain things.
Shannahan, you see, his hands they did tremble, all of their own volition. They were not his to control. They shook, they shuddered, and they rarely ever stopped.
Sitting across from my friend at a table in the mess hall, I would watch in wonder as he would struggle in vain to raise a cup of coffee to his lips without splashing a good quarter or more of it over the rim of the cup and into the table. It really was that bad sometimes.
Fighting the urge to reach over with a steadying hand of mine in order to assist. This was not done. Word would surely spread that we had been seen holding hands in public, and, no disrespect at all to LCpl Trevanian, that simply would not do. We each and all must walk our own path through life.
I would, upon occasion, light his cigarette for him, if he was continuing to miss the mark. It was the botherly thing to do.
There were two instances, however, or set of circumstances, in which the magic happened. He shot a consistent high expert at the rifle range. It was preternatural. In that his element, the shaking of his hands would still, and he would become as cold as ice, and as deadly as potato salad left out in the sun too long on a hot summer’s day.
I’d seen an effect similar to that once before. A Platoon Sergeant was with us for a while at my chest posting had stuttered badly. Except when he became angry. Then it would magically drop away. He was angry quite often. We were who we were.
The other - the man could run the table in a game of pool. As steady as an experienced prevaricator perjuring his way seamlessly through a cross examination or running for President. He was a phenomenon.
We made folding money off of Shaky for a good while by betting on him in games with fellows from other units at the Enlisted Club on Base. As did he by betting on himself.
We also surrendered to him 10% of our gross earnings, and were happy to do so. A finder’s fee, so to speak. It was all found money to us, and he was, after all, the founder of the feast.
They were always easy marks, at first, delightfully observing the turbulence of his tremblers, and weren’t hesitant at all when prompted to increase an original bet. Which they would inevitably shortly regret.
It became more difficult, of course, as time weren’t by and were got around: “Do Not play that spastic bastard! He’s a ringer! It’s all a fake!”
The beauty of it, of course, was that it wasn’t.
The answer to the mystery was a simple one, of course. Anything that required intense concentration and focus would calm and still his mind, and his hands would follow suit.
But why did Shaky shake in the first place? We were simple and direct young men, and the answer to us was obvious: he surely had been an EOD tech in a previous lifetime, and had carried the accumulated stress of his former vocation into this his new reincarnation. It all made perfect sense.
He was Catholic (I’d seen his dog tags), but a small detail, and unimportant. I was Buddhist that year myself, for a change of pace. I think I might still have those dog tags forgotten in a box in the garage somewhere. If I’d been killed, wouldn’t a certain bald, laughing fat man have been surprised to see who’d come to dinner?
So here’s to you, Shaky. I hope you trembled your way to greatness.

I'm not from the nordics, but I plan to move there (iceland, specifically).
My name is Lyf - supposed to be derived from líf, for life, but when I tried looking it up, the results said it means medicine...
So, people from nordic countries, does my name sound stupid to you? Should I change the spelling to Lif? Would that be better, somehow??

Hello. I’m a current human doctor working in the NHS. Very seriously considering returning to study vet medicine. Looking for any insight really. Would people recommend. Is there anyone on here that has done it - and if so how was it?
I’ve a lifelong passion for anatomy in particular comparative anatomy which I appreciate I could do without returning to study vet med, but I really want to.
Any insights / advice into life as a vet welcomed!

Hi all. CVST survivor here. I was diagnosed in October 2021 after a I went to the ER for a headache on the right side of my head and some neck pain. Thankfully no other neurological symptoms. My doc had me on Coumadin for 12 months and when I stopped taking it my clot worsened so I’m now on Eliquis for life. Fast-forward to now and my most recent results show that my clot is still there. Impression from my most recent MRV is below:
IMPRESSION: Redemonstration of partial/nonocclusive chronic venous sinus thrombosis of RIGHT internal jugular vein, RIGHT sigmoid sinus and distal transverse sinus, not significantly changed compared to prior study.
Has anyone experienced chronic CVST? My neurologist recently referred me to vascular medicine and I have an upcoming appointment to explore my options at this point.

Hello,
My cat got diagnosed with asthma about a month ago, the first two weeks she was on prednison only and then she started using the inhaler. Around a week ago I had to quit with the prednison, because of course it's not the most ideal solution and now I'm only using the inhaler two times a day. She takes the inhaler well but since quitting the oral medicine her breathing is starting to get louder and more 'raspy' again. She also had two coughs in this week. I guess my question is if her breathing will eventually get better with just the inhaler or is there anything else I can do to make her breathing less raspy again without having to use prednison?
I already switched her litter from a clumping one to wood pellets, they seem to be less dusty. I also have a HEPA air filter in the room where she's mostly sleeping.

Hi all,
It's been about 2 months of tapering -> stopping abilify and it was a messed up experience. I have never felt worse in my life.
I started abilify / aripiprazole in addition to my SSRI for depression and anxiety back in 2018 and I chose to stop it this year after discussing it with my psychiatrist. I was on 10 mg abilify -> 5 mg (for 2 weeks) -> 2.5 mg (2 weeks) -> 0 (3 weeks ago).
week 1 off abilify was good, everything is normal, nothing changed. Week 2 I started feeling like I had a bad case of flu (without lung/throat/sneezing/coughing) and it kept going downhill since then up until today(I hope it stays like this, today is the only day since week 2 I actually feel normal)
Throughout those weeks I experienced body aches, sweating, chills, exhaustion, fatigue that only got worse and worse and I could only sleep it off. I felt like depression and anxiety rebounded for a few days but it wasn't my biggest concern given how awful my body felt.
I have no idea if I this was a massive mistake, I feel alright now after being a zombie for the past 3-5 weeks but I still feel on the verge of starting to shiver.
I would not like to start taking this drug again but I just want to know how long this should last.. I'm booking an appointment with my psychiatrist in the morning to figure this out but my god this has been the worst i've ever felt in my life.
I am currently on venlafaxine XR 150 mg and vyvanse 40mg, and I noticed taking the vyvanse just made me feel worse (It was never like this before)
Until I could see my doc, I would like to hear your experiences with withdrawal/tapering. I genuinely hope today isn't a one-off day of feeling okay and it gets better and that I am not messing up anything. Like did I taper it off too quickly? my doc told me some people stop taking it at 5 mg but told me to taper down to 2.5 mg, which I did but I think I missed the last 2 days of that period. I honestly can't believe someone would stop taking it cold turkey given my experience
Side note:
I've had terrible stomach issues that happened after I started abilify and I feel like my digestive health improved immensely. I don't know if it's related to antipsychotics' effects on gut bacteria but I don't feel completely dead after meals like I used to. I still have GERD but I feel like the symptoms kinda improved but I can't tell for sure if it's related to quitting it

Hey! Incoming freshman for SBS this year, was wondering what would be some tips that seniors would have for their juniors, especially in this major. Earlier at some tea sesh the professors mentioned something about laboratory medicine and needing to complete this module called BS2029 in Y2s1 or Y3s1. As of now am considering clinical science as part of my way to give back to my mom who despite doing med couldn’t end up practicing it cos of my bro’s accident, as well as for like some sense of warmth I get in doing something that benefits the right community.
But to at least not just survive, but thrive also academically and have at least a decent social life(maybe meet my partner or so as well 🤭) what’s some tips y’all would have?
Thanks in advance!!

Why being transgender is not a sin, by MARK WINGFIELD NOVEMBER 9, 2018

Link to original post: https://baptistnews.com/article/why-being-transgender-is-not-a-sin/#.YYk6tE7MK72
I recently met a lovely young family in the northern suburbs of Dallas. They told me they previously attended a large Baptist church there – until their high school son became their daughter.
The mother was committed to her volunteer work in the church, and when she told the pastor who supervised that ministry area that her child was transgender, the pastor said: “That’s fine. We love everybody here. But it’s still a sin.”
“Blah, blah, blah, but….” Whatever comes after the “but” always negates whatever nice things were said in the first part of the sentence. Beware of the “but.”
Some would look kindly on the suburban pastor’s response because, after all, the pastor didn’t kick the family out of the church or condemn the teenager straight to hell. But.
Even among Christians who appear kind or progressive, too often the existence of someone who identifies as transgender gets chalked up to “sin.” No doubt that’s the root reason so many Christians happily pile on against transgender persons and their family members about bathrooms and schools, because in their heart of hearts, they don’t understand transgender identity and simply default to thinking it is a sinful lifestyle choice.

I think we all can agree that a “sin” is something we do that we shouldn’t do, something we have a choice about. If I eat an entire half-gallon of ice cream, I am likely guilty of the sin of gluttony. I didn’t have to eat the ice cream. If I fixate on why other people are more athletic and agile than me in my mid-life body, I probably am guilty of the sin of envy. There is a way for me to redirect my thoughts to avoid envy.
The same is not true of transgender identity. Emphatically and conclusively, this is not a choice. It is who a person is. Did you choose to have red hair? Did you choose to be tall or short? Did you choose to have the genetic markers you have? Of course not. Transgender persons are simply acknowledging that the gender identity assigned to them at birth because of physical anatomy does not match the brain, biochemical and genetic gender identity they know inside.
Since writing a column two years ago about understanding transgender identity – an opinion article that has been read more than 1 million times and led to giving a TED Talk on the same subject – I have conversed with hundreds of transgender persons and family members of transgender persons. That’s not just ministerially speaking. It really has been hundreds. Every one of those transgender persons has told me that they knew from their earliest awareness – from the time they were 4, 5 or 6 years old – that the gender anatomy they showed on the outside did not match who they knew they were on the inside.
There is an increasing body of scientific evidence to back up this assertion. For example, a 2008 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that female fetuses with increased prenatal exposure to androgens are more likely to have gender nonconforming behaviors. Researchers – including some theologically conservative ones – point to environmental factors that may be responsible for what appears to be an increase in transgender identity through endocrine disruption beginning in the 20th century. This is linked to industrialization, development of new chemicals and medicines.
But these environmental factors only explain an increase, not the presence of transgender identity, which has been documented for centuries. The American Academy of Pediatrics (not to be confused with a small association of conservative pediatricians often cited by critics of transgender rights) recently released a new policy statement explaining that variation in gender identity is a normal part of human diversity. For an excellent, lay-friendly description of the emerging science of transgender identity, look to this report from Harvard University.

I could quote chapter and verse for study after study, and that would not change the minds of some people who are determined to label as sinful anything they do not understand, usually because “the Bible says so.” In these cases, I ask people to tell me where in the Bible being transgender is condemned as sinful. The only answer usually offered is Deuteronomy 22:5, which says: “A woman shall not wear a man’s apparel, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment; for whoever does such things is abhorrent to the Lord your God.”
Here’s the problem with even a literal reading of that passage: Transgender persons will tell you they are not “men” putting on “women’s” clothing or “women” putting on “men’s” clothing. Instead, they are declaring an identity much deeper than clothing; they are saying that they are dressing outwardly to match who they know they are on the inside. This is not cross-dressing, which is not the subject of this column. Cross-dressing is about finding pleasure in wearing certain clothes. Being transgender is about finding mental and spiritual peace by aligning outward presentation with inner being.
Occasionally, people will point to Genesis 1:27 as a condemnation of transgender identity: “male and female he created them.” Most transgender persons will tell you they believe God has, in fact, created them as either male or female; the problem is how they have been labeled by others who are not God.
Some people today identify as “gender fluid,” meaning they find in themselves bits of both male and female identity and cannot definitely say they are one or the other. While this may sound unsettling to some of us on first hearing, a return to Genesis might help. There we also learn that God created both “night” and “day” and that God separated “land” from “sea.” Yet we have no problem understanding the existence of dawn and dusk or marshes and everglades. Also, the point of Genesis 1 is inclusion, not exclusion. The ancient text tells us that God created everything: “and,” not “or.”
The other lesson we need to keep learning from Genesis is that all humanity is created “in the image of God.” Everybody. Without exception. When we look at others who are different than us and try to see in them the image of God, we gain new understanding and empathy.
Sometimes well-meaning Christians get this part but still can’t get over the “sin” label. So they will say things like, “All of us are sinners in God’s eyes, and it’s just that my sin is different than your sin.” That’s another way of saying, “I love you, but….”
There’s an easy way to remember why this is wrong: Transgender identity is about who a person is. It is about their fundamental being as humans created by God in God’s image – an image that God has declared to be good.