Convenience sampling explained

[MEXICAN BOOT REVIEW] Russet Horsehide captoe service boots from John Doe Shoes, 1 month review

2024.05.22 02:05 derroc [MEXICAN BOOT REVIEW] Russet Horsehide captoe service boots from John Doe Shoes, 1 month review

Album first: https://imgur.com/a/ZnEVrHz
Yet another review! I'm almost done with my collection, just 2 or 3 more and I'm done. When I'm finished, you'll have a very comprehensive guide of Mexican boot/shoemakers in my profile.
Why Mexican shoes? Because I live in Mexico, and they are more affordable and easy to find than other options. Besides, I get to support local business, and that is a big plus for me. Obviously, English is not my first language, so bear with me.
Disclaimer: This review has been completely sponsored by my compulsive shopping. I have not received any free boots or discounts, but if someone wants to give a free pair of boots, my feet are ready.

Brand: John Doe Shoes

John Doe Shoes is a Mexican boot/shoe manufacturer with a peculiar business model. You get to choose the leather first, then the boot or shoe style. When I was starting to get into boots I was really confused by their website, so I'll do my best to explain it:
Sample sale: https://www.johndoeshoes.com/sample-sale
These are shoes that in stock. You can buy those at a lower price, and you don't have to wait for them to make your boots. The downside is there's not really a lot of options, but it's worth it. I actually bought this boots from the sample sale. Pretty forward buying process. Prices are in USD, and they ship outside of Mexico.
Made to order: https://www.johndoeshoes.com/mto/
Style guide: https://www.johndoeshoes.com/style-guide/
Here you start choosing the leather. The pictures are just examples but when you click on "Brown SB Foot Tanning Co" you get to choose the exact model and sole you want. You can see their different models in the style guide. They have 2 lasts: milo last (like mine) and their normal last (more rounded in the front). If you see few photos of their work, you'll recognize them easily.
For example: Choosing "Brown SB Foot Tanning Co" > 420 Cap Toe (Milo Last) + D width + Studded sole + Goodyear welt > You'll get a similar boot as mine, but made with Brown SB Foot Tanning Co leather.
They have a running 3x2 sale. Just add 3 made to order shoes or boots to your cart, and you'll get the discount.
You can see some ideas of what to order in their social media, but they are not very active: https://www.instagram.com/johndoeshoes/

The boots:

Russet Horsehide leather is not usually found in boots. It's no the fancy leather from a horse butt. It is more of a heavy-duty leather: thick, stiff and more visible grain. I think this particular leather is from Horween Tannery. I bought it in natural color, and it is veg tan, so it should develop a nice patina. These are my first natural veg tan leather boots.
I paid $190 USD for them. Their normal price would be $292 but I got them from the sample sale.
About sizing, I'm a 9D brannock and I ordered that size. Another redditor recommended sizing down half a size for their Milo last, I kind of agree. I like my boots on the tighter side, so 8.5 would have been ideal. Anyway, I'll just add a leather insert or wear thicker socks.
I've got nothing bad to say about the build quality. I'm very pleased with what I got. I thought they would be stiffer at first, but after the ones from Urban Wolf Club, everything else seems lightweight.

Could be better:

Would I buy from them again:

Yep, that 3x2 sale seems like a really good deal. Besides, if I want a pair of longwings made with tan horsehide chromexcel, John Doe Shoes is THE PLACE to go. Just look at these beauties: Tan Horsehide CX Connor Longwings. There are some mixed reviews on this sub, but my experience has been mostly positive. I'm sure I'll order again someday.
submitted by derroc to goodyearwelt [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 02:00 CobaltAzurean The World, the Flesh, and the Devil Pt1, Ch3.0: And The Devil Sends Cooks

The World, the Flesh, and the Devil Pt1, Ch3.0: And The Devil Sends Cooks
Uranus - Secret Underwater Lab, formerly of Tyl Regor
It was a strange homecoming for the Grineer tubeman Kahl-175 after they left Cetus and departed Earth. The two of them had barely managed to exit the atmosphere when the RailJack expertly maneuvered in the zero-G environment to lock umbilicus and essentially tow the Skaut along, Cephalon Cy’s voice broadcasting over the comm-link.
“Locked and loaded. Uranus course plotted. Reliquary Drive online.”
“Belay. Utilize the solar rail network instead.” Wukong said quickly.
“Affirmative. Update: riding the rails will be two hours with current traffic volume.”
Wukong waved a taloned hand dismissively, “Acknowledged. Let’s get under-way.”
Kahl-175’s deep-set features were furrowed and perplexed, his voice rumbling out from under his camo helmet. “This longer. You said Blue-Girl saved with plan.”
“That’s correct, Kahl. But I don’t like being under anyone’s thumb, so to speak, thus we’re using the solar rails instead.” the space simian said over his shoulder as his tail wrapped around the ceremonial urn and walked with it towards the umbilicus. “I’ll be aboard the RailJack, stay here and monitor the link between the ships as they’re non-standard connections.”
Kahl-175 made a meaty fist in his ballistics glove with his thumb extended, gazing at it curiously, “Under whose thumb?” he mused aloud but when he looked up, he was alone.
The solar rail network was a series of space stations at nearly every major planet which provided relatively safe and efficient travel to and from each other for vessels that weren’t inherently capable of the velocity required for interplanetary travel. For a modest transit fee, and another less-than-modest bribe, you could ride the light-rails inspection free with the other jockeys from one end of the Origin system to the other in less than a day. As previously stated, it was relatively safe but there are always reports from time to time of space pirates and the like, interrupting the flow of orbital and extra-orbital traffic with their brutal raids and swift pilferings. Such is life in the Origin system.
Thankfully that was not the case when the Railjack reached Mars’ solar rail junction with the Skaut in tow, which appeared to be light with transiting craft. The singular but sizable fee was paid, as it was not standard procedure to have two separate craft buddy-jump together as it was likely an attempt to avoid paying a second transit fee, but Cy cited to the junction cephalon an obscure and entirely likely out-of-date policy about military vessels that was entirely too long and too complicated for it to argue with.
Once their tethered ships were aligned and they were given a healthy push to the next rail transit at Ceres, Cy gave a short laugh with Wukong standing at the Navigation display.
“Ignorant specter. Solar rail junctions have a one minute window to launch. Cephalon interactions, after the fee paid, are manually overridden after sixty seconds. I call it the Ordis Clause. Ha ha.”
“Clever. Ceres to Jupiter, to Saturn, to Uranus then?”
“Correct.”
“Highest degree of probability of attack from undesirables?” the space simian inquired, tilting his head back and looking up at the ceiling from their mapped path after noting the region that Cy marked while he asked.
“Ceres to Jupiter. Sixty-four point six percent chance of incident this solar cycle.”
“Noted. Considering we’re towing another ship, we’re two for the price of one. They’ll probably make a run at us. Link comms to the Skaut. Kahl-175?”
After a brief pause, “Kahl here. Ship still secure.”
“There is a chance we’ll be attacked during the next transit jump at Ceres, so immediately after the push, I’m going to seal the two ships and detach the umbilicus. If we do get attacked, we won’t be connected and can maneuver independently. Are you able to pilot that vehicle in a fight?”
“Kahl came out tube able.” he rumbled quite proudly. “Kahl need someone to shoot tail gun.”
“I’ll handle that. Thank you, Kahl.” and as he spoke, another Wukong came down out of the dorsal turret and headed over to the Skaut while they were still connected.
“Welcome.”
The remaining transit to Ceres was uneventful with Wukong leaving the piloting and forward artillery to Cephalon Cy after he took position in the dorsal turret, which would allow him three hundred and sixty degrees of upper hemisphere coverage. And yet another Wukong was waiting patiently towards the rear of the vessel near what had been deemed the Slingshot. Similar to a coil- or rail-gun, it magnetically propelled whatever object inside it to incredible velocities, and depending on the object, the ability to gain forcible entry to large space-faring ships. This Wukong had also taken the time to don an Itzal-model Archwing chassis and weapon harness allowing him to maneuver in zero-g along with providing more-agile fire support. He wouldn’t be as well protected outside the RailJack’s impressively dense hull but the Itzal was specifically designed for stealth engagement with sensor bafflers and visual distortion, which cumulatively would render him effectively invisible against the black backdrop of stellar space.
Kahl-175 was familiar with the concept of vehicular space combat but he was a foot-slogger by design, so he had spent the intervening time memorizing the various switches and modes he would have to operate in a combat scenario.
“Autocannons online? Check. Engine boost charged? Check. Shields? Hull integrity? Check.”
The Ceres rail junction inquired electronically, re-confirmed their transit and payment, then pushed them along without any audio interaction. Once the tethered craft were outside of the junction’s sensor range, Wukong and Kahl went ahead and locked down their respective vessels, sealing off and retracting the umbilicus to coast together towards the scattered remains of a former asteroid belt that drifted between Ceres and Jupiter. The iron and rubido composition of asteroids had a scattering effect on ship’s sensors, which made it an effective area for ambushes.
Radio silence.
Space pirates, as a whole, aren’t particularly intelligent except for their captains and maybe their enterprising first mates, but even they were more cunning than brilliant. Smarter raiders would have chosen to attack commercial vessels, but perhaps the allure of capturing military vessels and adding them to their armada was too good to ignore.
Once the RailJack and Skaut were fully within the scan-disruptive effects of the surrounding debris, the pirates struck, swarming out from their hiding holes, mostly naturally occurring crevasses, and approached the pair from several attack vectors, radio comms exploding with unshielded demands to surrender and prepare to be boarded.
Cy broadcast in a flattened tone, “Raiders, your short lives are about to become crap dipped in misery. Crew, if you would.”
The Grineer military-grade autocannons on the nose and tail cut loose at that moment as well the Railjack’s Vekti model Laith shrapnel blasters unloaded their barrages from the forward artillery points and dorsal turret while simultaneously executing a split-Y maneuver to distance their vessels away and broaden the enemy’s field of fire from being concentrated on them together.
Wukong stepped onto the chambering sconce, powering up the Archwing chassis, which dutifully fed him into the Slingshot’s barrel.
“Cy, if you’ve got eyes on the lead vessel.” the celestial chimp prompted.
“Prepare to ring their doorbell.”
The RailJack performed a short engine boost, abruptly thrusting forward to gain some distance from the pursuing raiders, quickly spun port-side before fully stopping to briefly divert engine power to the Slingshot, and with a crackle of discharged electricity briefly along the skin of the ship, Wukong was fired out towards a large Corpus crewship. Cy continued his turning maneuver and plowed forward back into the teeth of the now-incoming pirates, guns blazing.
Wukong smashed explosively through the reinforced hull of the crewship, a brilliant shower of sparks flying as he ruptured conduits and circuitry in the skin of the vessel, pulling the emergency release valve on the Archwing unit right before impact, leaving it in standby mode outside the ship with its stealth systems engaged.
Klaxons blared deafeningly with flashing lights at the explosive decompression in the area of the ship he erupted into, which appeared to be an upper bay. The space simian reached out and found the comforting weight of his staff in his hand, raptor-beak blades no longer hinged down but outward like sickles ready to thresh wheat.
He stalked forward at a quickened pace, eyes fixed forward to the corridor outside the bay. Motion ahead.
Uranus - Secret Underwater Lab, formerly of Tyl Regor
The Grineer cloning facility on Uranus, once considered hidden beneath its vast ocean, had been operated under the sole discretion of the renowned biologic experimenter Tyl Regor seeking a reliable means to either treat or ultimately cure the clone rot which plagued the Grineer forces. It provided all the necessary infrastructure that Wukong required for this part of his plan and as it was relatively difficult to reach without detection, they would hopefully remain undisturbed for the duration.
The Skaut craft slowly surfaced into the dock section of the facility, grapples launched, reeled-in, and locked. Wukong regarded their impressive haul of raw Tower material while speaking into the comm to Cy as the exit ramp descended to the loading dock.
“Return to Earth and get those repairs taken care of as soon as possible. You’re free to resume Reliquary Drive use at this time.”
“Inquiry: why is it now permissible to use the-” Cy began.
“That’ll be all. Over and out.” Wukong interjected before muting the comm and turning to regard Kahl-175 with his impassive countenance, the high-pitched screams of the dying space pirates still ringing in his ears. “Do you know this place, Kahl?”
The Grineer tubeman had indeed been looking about fervently, eye, both natural and cybernetic, darting around like he was attempting to spot incoming sniper fire. “Yes. Born here.”
“Is that going to be a problem?”
“No problem. Familiar ground.” he replied with a small shake of his head.
“Excellent. Then I shouldn’t have to show you around.” Wukong said with a curt toss of his own head towards the chamber exit. “Let’s get this loaded onto the lift to sub-level 13-40 with the large centrifurnace. We’ve got a significant amount of work ahead of us.”
Wukong firmly closed the lid atop the thermal centrifuge, spinning the wheel tight after flipping the latches until the seal indicator flashed green. The space simian stepped off the top of the two story tall machine and drifted downward to the floor next to Kahl-175.
“Big tubeman.” the former Grineer rumbled.
“Not exactly.” Wukong replied laconically while giving a thorough final check over the machine as he walked around it. It was essentially a large, transparent sphere, now full to the brim with the Unum’s Tower flesh, that would use a low, simmering heat and centrifugal force to separate the varying densities of organic material, which would either be siphoned off to the seven surrounding smaller, vertical tubes for storage or reintroduced to the suspension for further rendering.
“And by that, I mean this machine will be doing the exact opposite of growing flesh. It will break down the material to its most basic parts, or specifically to the one part I require, which is called ‘amino’. The basic building blocks of life, Kahl.” the mercurial monkey explained as he approached the control panel, striking several keys in quick succession. A slow but insistent hum started beneath their feet, drawing Kahl’s attention downward. “There. I’ve initiated the process by activating the heater cores beneath the centrifuge. It will take some time to bring the mass up to proper temperature, so you have time at your leisure to either eat, rest, whatever it is that you do when you aren’t involving yourself in guerilla tactics with the Narmer.”
Kahl-175 opened his mouth to reply as he brought his attention up from the vibrating floor only to find himself alone with his thoughts in the very place he was created.
A full day passed before Wukong would find Kahl-175 in the centrifuge chamber, which had significantly grown in temperature and noise in the interim. The tubeman was watching the machine with an intense expression, almost a rapt fascination that Wukong wasn’t sure the former Grineer had noticed his approach.
He simply said, “Wukong.” to which the space simian inclined his head in acknowledgement before taking a lap around the machine, noticing that the lateral tubes were indeed beginning to collect liquid. Wukong gestured to the tubeman over to the control panel as he read over the various gauges and indicators on the large holographic display. The vast majority of this field of science wasn’t within Wukong’s realm of esoteric knowledge, but thankfully the computer knew what to do as it had been originally designed to perform a very similar function to Tyl Regor’s tubemen that failed his various experiments.
“Kahl, this reading here is the important one.” Wukong said, pointing a glinting talon at the display before gesturing to one vertical tube over his shoulder nearest the control panel. “That tube is collecting the first render of amino. It’s unfortunately also the material that takes the longest to process, however as we are now operating at full temperature and speed, it’ll go quicker moving forward. Once that tube is full, which means the gauge will be read one hundred percent, we’ll make our trip to Deimos and talk to Kaelli.”
Kahl went to speak, just opening his mouth before Wukong interjected with a raised hand, “Yes, I know you’re eager to move forward but I require a bit more patience and there is still work to be done here, work you and I can accomplish together which should take your mind off things. How does that sound?”
“How long?” Kahl inquired finally.
“Three days.”
“When can we start?”
Kahl-175 and Wukong worked tirelessly over the next few days, disconnecting equipment from one of the various entrances to the facility and then reinstalling around the amino collection tubes as to prevent any type of viral or bacterial contamination, breaking only for Kahl-175 to get food and grab maybe a few hours of sleep before getting back to it. The amino, in its purest state, was extremely susceptible to biological influence and it was of the utmost importance to keep it free from contagion. The devices were powerful entropic field generators that any organic substance would be disintegrated passing through them and their calibrations were very delicate and their alignment with respect to each other very specific as not to inadvertently destroy the sample that they were meant to protect. After the final series of calibrations were complete, Wukong stepped away from the console and turned to Kahl-175.
“It’s time. Let’s go.”
submitted by CobaltAzurean to Warframe [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 01:50 MathIsArtNotScience Review of Program from a Graduate - C Track

I saw someone else did something like this recently and thought that I might have something to add to the discussion to help people figure out whether they think this program is right for them, or for people currently in the program to help them plan out classes.
My background is very heavy in statistics and finance (I'm an actuary), so my grounding in calculus, statistics, linear algebra, and business topics was considerably better than most of the other people I interacted with in this program. Conversely, I'm sure my programming skills were probably about average or maybe a little bit below compared to someone with a more targeted background towards those skills.
I started in Fall of 2020 and just finished up this month, Spring 2024. I started out just taking one class a semester and never changed up that plan, would highly recommend doing the same if you're working full time alongside; there's no reason to rush this program. I got a 4.0 GPA overall, although I never really stressed that much about it and definitely did not shy away from "harder" classes in order to bolster GPA. I did this to learn, not to get good grades. The classes I took, in order (my memory of some of the earlier ones might be a bit jumbled as so much time has passed):
  1. CSE 6040 - I mentioned how my programming background was weaker relative to my mathematical background. However, reflecting on my experience in this class, it was probably still pretty strong. This class is focused on generalized programming skills, you don't really get into the analytics and modeling that much; it's more of a primer on things like functions, recursion, computer memory management, etc. It's been a few years, but I don't remember struggling with this class at all, and most of the concepts covered (object oriented programming, things like byte encoding, hexadecimal forms, recursion, etc.) were things I was already familiar with in another programming language (this class was in Python) or was relatively easy to pick up. From what I remember, the assignments were auto-graded and you had unlimited attempts, not to mention the fact that most of the prompts were to produce some predetermined result... and, as long as you were able to verify that your code produced that result, you got full points. I didn't miss a single point in this entire class. I believe there were "final exams" which were really just timed window coding assignments much like the homework, and you could do the assignments at any point during a 4-day window or something like that.
  2. ISYE 6501 - This class was R-based and focused on basic analytics models. The material was much more applied than 6040. Similarly, the material was not difficult, and I was familiar with a lot of the basic models already (such as GLMs) from having worked with them in my job. The grading was done on a peer-grading framework; based on who anonymously is assigned your homework to grade, you can get someone who's a stickler for every point on the guide, or people who are a bit more lenient. I never really worried much about how things were graded in this class; yeah, I did miss some points arbitrarily, but nothing that made that much of a difference. If you generally put in the work and understand the material, your peers will recognize that. I found this a bit more interesting than 6040 because, rather than a deterministic "right answer", there was some more creativity implied here to solve each problem. There was a final project for this class where you walked through a hypothetical analytics problem and explained how you would go about solving it. I found this an interesting thought exercise and enjoyed this class. The pacing felt a little fast, as you basically had an assignment due each week, but the assignments were small. Like 6040 I found this class to be quite easy but I didn't 100% it due to the peer grading thing.
  3. MGT 8803 - I almost applied to be exempt from this class, as my background intersects a lot with the material. The accounting and finance modules for this class literally did not teach me anything new. Supply chain was new for me and I found it interesting. I'm trying to remember what the other module was. I think it was marketing? I didn't like it. Overall I found this class quite easy for the aforementioned reasons, however I've heard from a lot of the other folks without business backgrounds that this class was pretty tough so take my opinions with a grain of salt. Taking this in the summer cut out one of the modules, normally there are 5 but in Summer there are 4. I figured this made sense to take during the truncated semester because I was unlikely to cover that much new material, and it turns out I was right about that. Each module lasted 2 weeks (I think in a normal semester it lasts 3) and has a timed multiple-choice test at the end. A lot of people didn't like this format compared to ISYE 6501 and CSE 6040; I'm not really sure how else this material could've been covered. This class was OK, the material is not really that deep but it's a pretty good primer on a large number of business topics.
  4. ISYE 6740 - The first class I took that was actually pretty challenging, which makes sense considering the first 3 courses were just the basic core. This is pretty much an intro to machine learning as a discipline, and the first time I remember digging into academic papers that discuss some machine learning topic and attempting to recreate the results (this is something we did a lot in the more advanced classes going forward and incidentally now that I have graduated is probably one of the best ways to go about learning a new topic). I remember this class as having a format similar to ISYE 6501/CSE6040 in that you had large programming assignments to do, as well as open-book "exams" which were really just timed programming assignments. Assignments are not auto-graded; TA's review each one and thus the assignments have much more of a focus on explaining your findings than producing the exact expected output (unlike 6040). Some of the theory questions have you applying complicated matrix algebra rules that I'm not surprised a lot of people struggled with. The TA responsiveness in this class was pretty good from what I remember, but your mileage may vary. I remember getting 3 weeks to do each assignment but I also remember not thinking that was a lot of time, these assignments are very extensive, have many parts, and take a long time to get through. Like with 6040 I ended up not missing a single point in this class but I did find it difficult and spent significantly more time working on it than in prior classes, probably 10-15 hrs a week, give or take.
  5. ISYE 6644 - I was familiar with maybe 50% of the material we covered due to my extensive statistics background, however I was not aware of the exact mechanics of random number generation or the concept of a batched mean, for example. I remember this class having several "check your understanding" quizzes that focused on the mathematical foundations. Didn't struggle with this much in terms of difficulty and found the material very useful. Setting up custom simulation environments is very useful and arena is pretty cool even if it's unlikely you'll ever use it. Some assignments feature similar tools in Python (simpy). There might have been some coverage of R in this as well, or at least the accommodation for people that wanted to use it. There was a project for this class, but you didn't have to come up with the topic on your own, you could pick from a list, and you could do your project on your own if you wanted (which, given the option, was always the choice I made, due to the inherent randomness in picking the right members of a group). However you can do a group project if you want.
  6. MGT 6203 - The first of the classes I took that required a group project. I recommend you are proactive in putting together groups in situations like these, posting threads on Ed/whatever the forum is as soon as the class begins. My group was alright; not everyone in it was great, but we had enough going overall to make up for the weaker group members. The project has some arbitrary guidelines from what I remember - you need to put together a midterm report and video presentation that is no more than ~2 minutes long or something like that (if it's 2:01 you get penalized) and the final report is 5 minutes or less, and everyone in the group needs to speak. I honestly don't remember much else about this class, it was pretty forgettable, but not horrible. Not overall that difficult, another business class so a lot of topics I was already familiar with, but there was more new here than in 8803.
  7. CSE 6242 - Another class with a group project. Again, I was proactive, and again, overall, my group was... okay. Some people who were really good, some who were... not. This class is characterized by a lot of assignments that are autograded, like 6040, but the assignments are a bit more difficult. Overall not that difficult with the exception of the D3 assignment, but that's more due to the fact that I'm not really sure how the autograder works for that; it tries to determine based on some internal structure of your html code whether or not you're fulfilling the requirements. I got a perfect score on all of the assignments, and they give you the chance to score over 100% on I believe either assignment 1 or assignment 2. A lot of people bombed the D3 assignment (I think it's assignment 2) but still did well in the class because it's not that hard to do well on everything else, so keep that in mind. This class does a great job of exposing you to a lot of new technologies, but there isn't that much depth to it. That's not really the point of this kind of class though, it equips you with the tools to explore things deeper if you so choose.
  8. ISYE 8803 - I was a big fan of this class. It's taught in MATLAB but you can use Python if you so choose, you'll see in reviews of this class that you should really just use MATLAB since a lot of the sample code etc. is not in other languages, so that's what I did. However, they must've recently added Python and R code for sample solutions, so feel free to use what you want. MATLAB was interesting, there were parts of one assignment I also used R for (grouped lasso in R is a lot more straightforward). This class is all about high dimensional data and representing it in a more simplified and comprehensive way, think about something like sonar which might have datapoints separated by milliseconds and thus a very dense representation of a signal captured over a short period of time. After ISYE 6740, I found this to be the class that taught me the most up to this point.
  9. CS 7642 - Taking this class in summer is kind of rough. There's 6 homework assignments that are autograded, similar format to CSE 6040. There are 3 projects which are much larger programming assignments for which you'll write papers explaining methodology, results, etc. These projects take a while, particularly project 3. I did well on projects 1 and 2 and decently on 3, although I spent the most time on 3 by far; it involves reinforcement learning to simulate a soccer environment and train agents how to play against an AI developed externally. The AI baselines are hard to beat, and I didn't manage to beat them, but I wrote a decent paper explaining what I did. The final exam for this class should be dropped as it doesn't add value to the class, people regularly score extremely low on it, the average score in the class was something like a 45%. I scored a bit lower than average but still got an A in the class because it was heavily curved. Reinforcement learning is a very interesting topic, though, and I would highly recommend this class as a primer on the material. It's probably a good idea not to take it in the summer, though.
  10. CS 7643 - This class was pretty difficult but I still think 6740 was tougher. The material is extremely dense. There are parts of programming assignments that are autograded, but also short answer portions that are reviewed by TAs. Grading on those were pretty subjective. This is the only class I can remember really needing to discuss things with TAs to understand what was being asked a little better. Unfortunately, the TAs in the semester I took this weren't the best. They seemed more concerned with unintentionally giving away a bit too much information in any of their responses. I can understand this, but it came off as intentionally opaque most of the time. There was a group project for this course as well, and my group was excellent, probably the best experience I had with a group in this program. I can imagine how much this course would've sucked if I would've had a mediocre/bad group. Based on discussions with my group, some of the grading seemed highly arbitrary, with some TAs grading similar responses to the same question differently. Like I said above, though, I never really worried about this. I never once in this program ever disputed a grade, and I continued with that in this class as well.
  11. CSE 6748 - Practicum and final class. For this class you get to choose between a number of pre-determined Georgia Tech sponsors, or form your own project for your own employesome external entity. It was a lot more work to do this, so I just went with one of the pre-determined GTech ones. I really enjoyed this one, I had constant communication with the sponsor as I developed my project and came up with something that I was quite proud of. I wanted to explore a natural language processing task, so I picked a project that I thought would allow me to do this, and was very satisfied with the result. There's a number of videos you have to watch that explain some overarching aspect of analytics that were pretty interesting as well, you can watch all of these in a single day and then focus on the project if you like. It's possible to finish the entire semester's work in just a few weeks, I was able to do the entire project and write the final paper in about a month's time, at which point I coordinated with the sponsor to tailor the work I did to a format that they would be able to implement for their business problem if they wanted to.
I can't comment on the job placement prospects of this program, as I just finished it and was actively employed the entire time I was in it. As an actuary there's not much this program does that my exam certification process didn't in terms of career prospects. However, it did position me much better within the context of the expanding role of data and analytics in insurance going forward, and also opens me up to similarly mathematical roles with a firmer grounding in big data and also some business elements (quantitative finance/data science roles). There were also things I learned in this program that I was able to apply directly to my day-to-day work. If you're considering this program, I would recommend you think about a few things:
  1. I'm pretty shocked at how many people I saw during my program who didn't really think that much about why they're doing this. I get that the barrier to entry is low, but it's a serious commitment if you're actually trying to graduate. Most of the people who start this program don't finish, so consider whether you're ready to spend almost 4 years going to school part-time, or if you're able to double up on classes for some of the semesters. Most of the people I know in the program doubled up at least once, I never did but I was never in a hurry. If you must double up, don't make it your first semester. Dip your toe in the water, see how it is, and then reassess. But, above all else, think about why you want to do this, and use that as your guiding goal to bring you through to the end.
  2. Something I tended to see pretty much without fail in most of my classes - a lot of the graduate students in this program spend way too much time worrying about minute, particular details that don't really matter. Maybe it was just my philosophy that I would probably never dispute a grade, or that I was never really that concerned with getting a perfect GPA, etc. but I was always marveling at what I saw asked in Ed posts. People would ask whether they could use a certain programming language for an assignment, what packages they were allowed to use, would post screenshots of bugs and ask for TA's to help walk them through it, etc. Generally, without fail, the TAs would respond along the lines of: use whatever programming language you want, as long as you can display your output/submit it in a way that we can verify by running ourselves, we'll make the effort; use the debugger to step through your code to find the problem; etc. Generally, in most cases, the assignments and questions are designed in a way to teach you something, to get you to realize/understand some pattern or data concept that has some underlying logic that makes sense. For example, the idea of saliency maps on image processing takes the 3-channel RGB color pixel shading representation of an image and condenses it into a single channel, and, as a result of that, loses some resolution in suggesting parts of the image driving a model result that might be different depending on the channel; i.e., an image with a very heavily blue-shaded part that detracts from a certain result, but with a red-shaded part somewhere else that increases the probability of the modeled result. This was part of a conceptual question on how saliency maps differed from other pixel influence attribution methods in Deep Learning, and is part of what you should logically understand since it reduces the channels of the image representation from 3 (R, G, B) to 1 (usually grayscale). I think people tend to run to the TA the second they have difficulty with something and don't stop for a second to think it through, one exercise I might recommend is to consider: if you ran into this problem out in the world and you didn't have a TA/managesome other authority figure to explain the answer to you, what do you think it might be? Does the answer even matter? If it still matters and you have no idea how to solve it, maybe then you can go to the TA.
  3. In every single group project I worked on, we had an initial planning session where we determined the scope of what we wanted to do. For most of the projects, this was an essential deliverable in addition to the final paper. However, in almost every case, someone in the group was always playing some game of runaway scope where they kept on wanting to add methods/questions to exploration beyond what was initially planned in ways that I intuitively knew would be impossible to manage in just one semester. I often had to say something along the lines of "if we have time we'll do that" or "when we write up our paper, we can put that in the avenues for future exploration section" or something similar. It turns out that we never had time to look into these things, and our initial scope was usually well-defined considering the time we had. I'm not sure why this was always so front-and-center in my focus, maybe since I used to work in consulting and project budgeting/scoping is so unbelievably important in that context. Whatever the case may be, understand that you won't be able to change the world every time you do a project. Make some incremental improvement, reflect on the results, and then include some notes in a "potential avenues for future exploration" section. I was pretty surprised at how many people had so much trouble putting the pencils down at the end. I can practically guarantee that, for the classes where I did a project on my own, I probably did substantially less work than other individual groups for precisely this reason. In general, you probably don't have to do as much work as you think you do.
So, would I recommend the program overall? Absolutely. It's not perfect, I found some of the formats annoying - CS 7642 has no business having that final exam, it adds nothing to the class at all, is arbitrarily extremely difficult and the class is good enough and complete enough with the removal of that exam that its inclusion to me appears to be the result of some arbitrary quota somewhere. I also don't really like the group project format and profoundly disagree with the reasoning that GTech and most other academic institutions give as to why group projects are even good or necessary, however I do acknowledge that from a logistics and resource standpoint it's unmanageable to grade individual projects for every single person in a given class and group projects do decrease the number of papers that TAs will have to read. Considering the scale of what GTech has managed to do, and how many students enroll each year, I'm surprised the program is as well-managed as it is. Yes, it does require a lot of self-teaching, but in most cases you can actively engage with TAs multiple times a week if you're struggling with topics and from what I've seen they were very responsive.
Anyways just wanted to give my perspective as someone who just finished this program and still thinks it's worthwhile despite its flaws.
submitted by MathIsArtNotScience to OMSA [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 01:49 Mrmander20 [Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms] 4 C7.1: The Elephant in the Room

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Should I be worried?”
Why would you be worried?” Kim said. “Dean Lichman loves us.”
Dean Lichman had asked the two of them to stop by his office, though his brief message had not said what for. That left Vell to concoct nightmare scenarios in his head.
“He doesn’t love all of us.”
“Alex doesn’t count as ‘us’,” Kim said. She was a looper in purely a technical sense, mostly due to her own refusal to be a team player. “Besides, she’s been behaving lately. She’s only been an asshole, not an active liability.”
“That we know of.”
“If we don’t know about it, Dean probably doesn’t either,” Kim said. “It’s fine, Vell, he probably just wants to ask us for advice or deal with some problem he has.”
“That’s not much better,” Vell said. “How weird would things have to be that the Dean is asking us for help personally?”
“Only one way to find out,” Kim said. She gestured to the door to the Dean’s office.
Kim entered first, and found it in much the same state as it always was. The desk piled high with paperwork, a small bowl of assorted candies shoved into the corner of the desk, and Dean Lichman behind it, frantically tapping away on a laptop. Vell had not been in this office for several years, and it was vastly different than the last time he’d been here.
“Ah, there you are, come in, have a seat,” Dean Lichman said. “Unless you’d rather we have our conversation elsewhere, Vell.”
“Why would I want that?”
“Well, it’s my understanding you haven’t been in this office since my, uh, predecessor,” Dean Lichman said.
“Oh, right, the kidnapping,” Vell said. “No, I’m good, I don’t really get traumatized by things anymore.”
Vell had been killed too many different ways in too many different places to have a functional trauma response. A few days ago he’d gotten his legs chewed off by a vending machine, and still stopped by it to pick up a soda on his way to the office.
“That’s a very concerning response, Mr. Harlan.”
“Yeah. Anyway, what did you need?”
Dean Lichman gestured for the duo to take a seat, and both did so. He folded desiccated hands in front of himself before beginning to speak.
“I would like to ask you two to take a look at an experiment that will be occurring later this week,” Dean Lichman said. “I don’t have any reason to believe it poses a threat, but I would like to be assured it is a safe and ethical environment, and, well, you two have a knack for identifying trouble spots.”
“You could say that,” Kim said. It was more accurate to say that trouble had a way of identifying them -and then leaping at them and ripping their heads off.
“I’d appreciate it if the two of you could simply examine the laboratory and give it your approval, or disapproval, as the case may be,” Dean Lichman said. “Though if you’re too busy, I fully understand.”
“If you don’t think this is dangerous, why are you asking for our help anyway?”
“Simply for my own peace of mind, frankly,” Dean Lichman said. “The school’s policies on animal experimentation are...satisfactory, I suppose, but I do want to take extra precautions when the subject is a creature as smart as an elephant.”
“An elephant?”
“Yes, a resident of a reserve in Thailand,” Dean Lichman said. “An older elephant by the name of Mae Noi. She has cancer, apparently, and she is submitting to experimental treatment in the hopes it will be useful for younger elephants.”
Kim’s digital face briefly flashed with a facial expression of concerned skepticism.
“‘She’ is submitting to treatment? As in the elephant?”
“Yes. Apparently the elephant can talk,” Dean Lichman said. “No, I don’t know how it works, they said it was ‘more impressive in person’.”
“Well now I kind of want to go just to see the talking elephant,” Vell said.
“Same.”
“Well, do try to take a few glances at the experiment’s safety while you’re there,” Dean Lichman said.
“Sounds like a plan,” Vell said. “Thanks for the heads up.”
“I’ll be there too,” Kim said.
“Excellent. Thank you both, and I’ll try not to take up too much of your time,” the Dean said. He then bid them both a polite goodbye and returned to his mountains of paperwork. Vell took a step out of the office and then took a sip from the soda he’d recently retrieved from the evil vending machine.
“So, what do you think?”
“I think I really do want to see the talking elephant,” Kim said.
“Obviously, yeah, we all want to see the talking elephant,” Vell said. “I mean the whole situation. You think the elephant thing is going to be the daily apocalypse for that day?”
“Well, on the one hand, an elephant seems like the kind of thing that would kill us,” Kim said. “But on the other, I feel like the fact we have advance warning means it’s not going to happen.”
“True. The universe probably wouldn’t make it that easy for us.”
“Yeah, but the elephant thing still feels pretty threatening,” Kim said. “Only way to find out is to wait a few days, I guess.”
A FEW DAYS LATER
“Hello you two,” Dean Lichman said. “And Hawke.”
“Hey,” Hawke said.
“He also wanted to see the talking elephant,” Kim explained.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it was an open invitation,” Dean Lichman said.
“Thanks. Still, sorry for not saying I was going to show up in advance,” Hawke said. “It took me a long time to make up my mind whether I was more interested in or afraid of a talking elephant.”
“They are rather large, aren’t they? I suppose that could be intimidating.”
“I’m okay with elephants on their own, it’s the talking part that doesn’t sit right with me,” Hawke said. “What if the elephant doesn’t like me? What if I’m the first person to ever get insulted by an elephant?”
“You’re less afraid of getting trampled by an elephant than insulted by one?”
“I’m a little afraid of trampling, but elephants are chill,” Hawke explained. “They wouldn’t attack unless provoked. I kind of feel like one might call me a dipshit unprovoked, though.”
“You have oddly specifics fears, Mr. Hughes,” Dean Lichman said.
“Yeah.”
In spite of those fears, Hawke happily stepped through the door to the zoology lab. It did not take a long time to locate the elephant in the room, as it was a literal elephant. The towering pachyderm was in a makeshift pen in the center of the lab, with an ample supply of food and a strange pedestal in front of her.
“Dr. Chanthara,” Dean Lichman said, with a polite wave to one of the researchers in the room. “Good to see you. These are the students I told you about.”
“Hm. Nice to meet you,” Dr. Chanthara said. He was, perhaps not unreasonably, skeptical of why three seemingly random students were in charge of a safety inspection. The fact that one of the three was a robot made him even more skeptical.
“Hi, nice to meet you too, and, uh, don’t mind us,” Vell said. “We just have an eye for weird things other people might miss.”
“Sure. I- wait. Aren’t you that kid who got chosen by a god?”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Vell said. “And her too, technically.”
Kim shrugged. She didn’t care for any extra attention on that point.
“Right,” Chanthara said. He was beginning to see why these students might know their stuff. “I suppose we should start by introducing you to Mae Noi. Say hello, Mae.”
The elephant shifted on her feet and poked her trunk at the wide pedestal in front of her twice.
“Hello. Friends,” a synthesized voice droned. Vell stepped a little closer to the pedestal, just enough to see that there were an array of buttons on the side facing Mae Noi.
“Oh, it’s kind of like a keyboard,” Vell said. He’d seen similar things used with dogs, though usually in a much simpler fashion. Mae Noi seemed to have a few dozen buttons at her disposal.
“Smart,” Mae Noi said, with another prod of her trunk.
“We initially put it into our sanctuary as a bit of a novelty, something elephants could choose to interact with,” Dr. Chanthara explained. “Mae Noi took to it a bit better than most. Especially once she found out she could use it to ask for food.”
“Food. Pumpkin. Pumpkin. Pumpkin.”
“No, Mae, no food until after experiment,” Dr. Chanthara scolded.
“Experiment,” Mae Niko said with a prod. “Pumpkin.”
“Yes, experiment then pumpkin,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“That’s not really a talking elephant, is it?” Hawke said.
“It’s more talking than most elephants,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“Elephant. Smart,” Mae Niko said. “Smart.”
“Yes, uh, right, elephant smart,” Hawke said. He took a step back, to avoid any further offense and any further risk of being insulted by Mae Noi.
“You’re very impressive, Mae, don’t mind him,” Kim said. “How many words does she know?”
“Our platform back home has around three hundred words, though she’s still learning some of them,” Dr. Chanthara said. “The ‘travel’ version we put together only has a hundred, just enough to make sure she can get her basic needs met and communicate about the experiment.”
“Right, speaking of, I do believe we should put some time into our reason for being here,” Dean Lichman interjected. “You’re welcome to stick around afterwards, at Dr. Chanthara and Mae Noi’s discretion, of course, but we should get underway.”
“We probably should get to business, yeah,” Kim said. She tapped the side of her metal head. “I’m going to scan the lab. Vell, you talk to the elephant and make sure everything’s above-board.”
“Abov- oh, right,” Vell said. “Sorry, not exactly used to being able to ask animals if they agree to animal experimentation.”
“Experiment,” Mae said.
“Yeah, experiment,” Vell said, as he turned to Mae. “So, Mae Noi, this experiment might hurt, do you know that?”
“Experiment. Hurt. Elephant,” Mae Noi prodded. “Experiment. Help. Elephant. Help. Baby.”
“Help baby?”
“Baby. Baby. Elephant. Sick. Baby. Sick.”
“We’ve explained the nature of her condition to Mae Noi as best we can,” Dr. Chanthara said. “She has several children, and is concerned they might be similarly affected.”
“Help. Baby,” Mae Noi said. “Experiment. Help.”
The way Mae Noi frantically tapped the buttons tugged at Vell’s heartstrings, but he choked those emotions down.
“So you want to do this experiment to help baby, got it,” Vell said. “Even if it hurts you?”
“Elephant. Old,” Mae Noi said. “Hurt. Okay. Help. Baby.”
“Huh. Well, that does sound like informed consent to me,” Vell said. “Passes ethical muster, at least.”
The campus rules allowed students to be experimented on, with their consent, so Vell saw no reason not to apply the same standard to an elephant.
“You speak up if you change your mind about the experiment, okay?”
“Stop. Stop. Stop,” Mae said, mashing the same button a few times. “Yes.”
“You got it. I’m going to go help my friends check things out,” Vell said. “Good talking to you, Mae.”
“Good. Talk. Friend,” Mae said. She waved goodbye with her trunk, and Vell waved back. He wandered away from Mae Noi’s pedestal and found Kim and Hawke carefully examining rows of beakers and various other supplies.
“Nothing sus yet, boss,” Hawke said.
“Nothing caustic, mutagenic, or explosive?”
“Well, something mutagenic, but it’s supposed to be,” Kim said. She had scanners built into her body much like those that had once been in Vell’s glasses, allowing her to analyze the complex chemical formulas at a glance. “They’re going for some gene editing similar to what we’ve tried to do on human cancer patients. Low success rate, but not harmful. Some adaptations to work on elephants, of course.”
“Run it by any of our chemistry and biology student friends yet?”
“A few,” Kim said. “Haven’t gotten anything back yet, though.”
“Maybe run it by Skye, too,” Vell said. “She’d recognize anything that’d mutate an animal.”
“She does love to mutate things,” Kim said.
“Benevolently,” Vell insisted. “Just show her. I’m going to check for any stray equipment.”
The presence of an unusually large test subject had resulted in the lab being rearranged and reshuffled, so Vell did a quick scan for any misplaced equipment that might pose a threat. He found, to his surprise, a tidy and well-organized environment, with any and all extraneous materials securely locked away. There wasn’t so much as a shrink ray out of place. Vell did another loop just to be sure, but returned to his friends empty-handed.
“This place has less safety hazards than my lab,” Vell said. Hawke stared at him for a while.
“Why does your lab have safety hazards?’
“I do runecarving, there’s like, hammers and chisels,” Vell said. “Those can hurt people.”
“Mm, true,” Hawke said. “So you really didn’t find anything?”
“Nothing,” Vell said. “This place is secure as I’ve ever seen a lab be.”
“It’s like I said,” Kim began. “We got an actual warning about it, so obviously nothing’s going to go wrong. That’d be too easy.”
“Maybe,” Vell said. “Things can get teleported in, or someone could cast a spell, or something.”
“Yeah, but that applies to anywhere, at any time,” Kim said.
“Kim’s right,” Hawke said. “I say we go business as usual.”
“I guess,” Vell said. “We have to branch out a little, at least. Can’t keep an eye on one room all day.”
The trio stopped sulking around the outskirts of the lab and returned to Dean Lichman and Dr. Chanthara.
“Everything looks good,” Kim said. “Probably the safest lab I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment,” Dr. Chanthara said.
“We have very high safety standards here at the Einstein-Odinson,” Dean Lichman said, defensively. “Relatively speaking. Innovation requires some risk.”
“I understand perfectly. So does Mae.”
“Hurt. Okay,” Mae said.
“Not that okay,” Vell said. “Nice meeting you, Dr. Chanthara. You too, Mae.”
“Wait.”
Mae prodded one of the buttons on her pedestal and then pointed her trunk at the three of them. Hawke looked deeply concerned, but stepped forward alongside Vell and Kim. Mae Noi appraised them with massive brown eyes, and then moved her trunk back towards the pedestal. Vell noticed a distinctive scar on the bridge of her long nose just as Mae Noi pressed another button.
“Joke.”
“...Joke?”
Dr. Chanthara sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Just go along with it,” he said. “She likes to tell her joke.”
“Uh, okay,” Vell said. “Let’s hear it.”
“What. Elephant. Favorite. Part. Tree.”
“Umm...I don’t know, Mae,” Vell lied. He’d heard this joke from a kid, once. “What part?”
“Trunk,” Mae said. She gave a loud bray of amusement and then slammed her trunk down a few more times to emphasize the punchline. “Trunk. Trunk.”
“Oh, ha, I get it,” Kim said, hoping her feigned laugh was convincing. She’d never tried to lie to an elephant before. “Good one, Mae.”
Mae Noi shifted from side to side, looking pleased with herself, while the trio took a step back and stopped their feigned laughter.
“Did you give her buttons just to tell that joke with?”
“She gets upset,” Dr. Chanthara said. “I’m not even sure she understands the pun, she just likes people’s reactions.”
“As long as she’s having fun,” Hawke said.
“We’ll get out of your hair now,” Vell said. “Good luck with the experiment, feel free to let us know if you need a hand with anything.”
“I’ll keep it in mind,” Dr. Chanthara said. Some of his earlier skepticism seemed to have softened, but he did not seem entirely onboard with three strangers mucking about with his experiment. Vell and his friends left before they stretched what little goodwill they had any further. Mae Noi waved her trunk goodbye as the three left the lab and stepped back onto the quad.
“I’m going to try and sneak some classes in,” Hawke said. “Later.”
“I’ll check some of our usual hot spots,” Kim said, before she too left. Once again alone, Vell headed to one of his own classes, and called up Samson.
“Hey, Samson,” Vell began. “See anything interesting while we were playing with the elephant?”
“Well, I thought I clocked someone acting suspicious, but it turns out he was only sneaking around to go see his boyfriend,” Samson said. “Nothing apocalyptic, but I did get called a homophobe, which is pretty emotionally devastating.”
“I’m sure you’ll recover someday,” Vell said. “Keep an eye out. Usually the safer things look, the more dangerous things end up being.”
“Will do,” Samson said, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
***
Vell got increasingly nervous the longer the day went without its daily disaster. He thought about checking in on Mae Noi again, but then recalled Kim’s warning about it being too obvious, but then remembered that nobody had seen anything suspicious anywhere else, but then remember that Mae Noi’s lab had looked perfectly safe-
“Vell.”
“Huh?”
“You’re spiraling,” Kim said.
“I’m not spiraling, I’m just,” Vell said, with a pause for contemplation. “Considering multiple options.”
“In a spiral fashion,” Kim said. “Eat the damn french fries. Honestly, what’s the point of ordering so many if you’re just going to let them get cold?”
“It’s not like they’re going to go to waste,” Vell said. The same time loop that allowed him to eat massive amounts of french fries without fear of gaining weight also allowed him to avoid food waste. One of the upsides of life in a time loop.
“Just eat, Vell,” Kim said. “You worry too much about all this shit.”
“I’m in charge, it’s my job to worry about it,” Vell said.
“It’s your job to handle it,” Kim said. “There’s no point thinking about this shit before it happens, you spend all day thinking about an elephant and then the universe drops, like, a bat with tentacles on your head. Just deal with as it comes, Vell.”
Vell leaned on the table and managed to chomp down on a french fry or two.
“You know, next year, when I’m not running the show anymore, I’m going to call and see if you still think it’s that easy.”
“I sure hope so,” Kim said. “I’m saying all this shit trying to make myself believe it too.”
“Oh good, you’re lying to both of us,” Vell said. “That’s cool.”
“Fake it ‘til you make it, Vell, that’s how it goes,” Kim said. “Eat your damn french fries.”
Vell rolled his eyes and returned to his fries, which were now starting to cool. Thankfully he would not have to worry about finishing them. A loud crash from across campus interrupted him mid-bite and nearly made Vell choke on his fries. He painfully swallowed the half-chewed food and then looked over his shoulder.
“Son of a bitch, finally,” Vell said. A few years ago he’d found it weird whenever he was relieved about a disaster, but now he was just genuinely glad to get it over with. The waiting was as killer as the apocalypse. He tossed his fries in the trash and headed toward the sound of chaos, with Kim right behind him.
“Already told everybody?”
“Well, I may or may not have left Alex and Helena out of the loop…”
“Kim.”
“They’d find out anyway,” Kim said. “I got to use my brain parts to get in touch with them, even over wi-fi that shit feels dirty.”
“Just get in- stop.”
Vell held out his hand. Kim froze in place and did not move. Not intentionally, at least. There was a small amount of unintentional movement. The ground was vibrating.
“Always love a good earthquake,” Kim said.
“That’s not a quake,” Vell said. “That’s...footsteps!”
Vell grabbed Kim and dove out of the way just in time for something to barrel through the walls of the dining hall and stampede across the room. Tables, chairs, and more than a few students were crushed under the feet of a hulking, brown-furred behemoth as it charged. Kim picked herself and Vell up off the floor and tried to trail its progress.
“That’s a- oh fuck me,” Kim said. “Please don’t say you told me so.”
Vell got his bearings and looked across the room at the titanic form of a woolly mammoth. Though it was definitely recognizable as an archaic mammoth, the ancient creature was also heavily mutated, unnaturally large even by mammoth standards, and with multiple curled, jagged tusks protruding from a slobbering maw.
“Well that could be unrelated,” Vell said. “Mammoths can come from a lot of places, cloning accidents, time machines…”
The mammoth reached a wall, and rather than barreling through, turned around, facing directly towards Vell. A prominent scar covered the bridge of its broad trunk.
“Oh, nope, that’s definitely Mae,” Vell said. The scar was in the same place and at the same angle. Even a clone wouldn’t have an identical scar.
Once the revelation had struck, Mae took her turn. Vell found himself staring straight down the barrel of a very angry mammoth coming right at him at Vell-squishing velocity. Luckily he’d been charged at by a lot of creatures over four years of looping.
Vell jumped up and to the side, and latched on to one of the curled tusks, which made for very convenient handlebars. Kim did the same on the opposite side of Mae, and punched her in the head.
“Wait, wait, hold off on the violence for a second,” Vell shouted. He tried to wave at Kim to stop, but Mae was thrashing so violently he had to grip the tusks with both hands.
“Good plan,” Kim shouted. “Can you get Mae on board?”
Another set of tables got crushed underfoot. Thankfully the other students were out of trampling range by now, but Mae Noi’s feet were still coated in the blood of earlier victims.
“Mae’s smart, maybe we can calm her down,” Vell said. He then ducked to dodge a swat from Mae’s mutated trunk.
“Call me crazy, Vell, but I think this is more than just a bad mood,” Kim said, as she climbed up Mae’s seven jagged tusks like a ladder.
“We have to try,” Vell said. The loopers rule against hurting other intelligent life forms had some flexibility for blood-crazed mutants on violent rampages, but they had to at least try to reason first. Vell climbed up on of Mae’s tusks and looked into one of her bloodshot eyes for any sign of recognition. “Mae! It’s Vell, do you remember?”
The only response Vell got was an enraged trumpet, which he didn’t think was a “yes”.
“Come on, bud,” Vell said. “What’s an elephant’s favorite part of a tree, right? The trunk?”
The massive brown eye staring at Vell blinked, and he felt a brief glimmer of hope. He then felt a brief glimmer of his lungs being crushed as Mae swung her head and slammed her tusks into the wall, and Vell along with them. Kim punched Mae in the throat and then jumped across the tusks to grab Vell and carry him to safety.
“You okay, Vell?”
He opened his mouth to respond, and a pint or two of blood came out instead.
“Apparently not,” he mumbled. “I might be down a few ribs. And a lung. Or two.”
Kim carried Vell a safe distance from the fight and set him down on the ground, where he promptly spat out another mouthful of blood.
“Okay, uh, you just lie there and try to die peacefully, I guess,” Kim said.
“Way ahead of you.”
***
“Was that last bit as funny as I thought it was?” Vell asked. “I think the blood loss was affecting my sense of humor.”
“It was kind of hard to appreciate in the moment,” Kim said. “But as far as dying jokes go, it was pretty good.”
Vell and Kim walked into the lair for their morning meeting and joined the loopers that had already gathered.
“Okay, what’d I miss while I was dead?”
“Well, after Alex was done getting herself killed,” Samson began.
“You’re saying that as if it’s something to be ashamed of,” Alex said. “Vell also died.”
“Yeah, but he got killed trying to do something good. You got killed trying to do something stupid.”
“Trying to eliminate a threat is not stupid,” Alex said.
“We don’t kill intelligent creatures,” Hawke said. “Sometimes we punch them into a coma, but we don’t kill them.”
“When a dog bites, you put it down, I don’t see why the same principle doesn’t apply to a mammoth that’s crushed seventy people.”
“That wasn’t Mae’s fault,” Vell said. “She got mutated, or something. On that note: did you guys figure out what happened to Mae Noi?”
“Nothing,” Hawke said. “Looked like Mae smashed up the entire lab, trampled everyone involved in the experiment too. Nothing left to investigate, and nobody left alive to interrogate.”
“Typical,” Vell sighed. “At least we have an easy out. Dean Lichman was really concerned about the ethics of that whole experiment. We raise some kind of complaint, we could probably get the whole thing shut down.”
“The problem is getting the complaint,” Hawke said. “That lab was airtight, Vell.”
“Apparently not completely airtight,” Kim said. “I can camp out in the lab and raise an entirely justifiable stink whenever something capable of making a murder-mammoth shows up.”
“And what if it happens so suddenly you can’t complain about it?” Samson asked. “For all we know that could’ve been some kind of dimensional rift, or time anomaly, or something. It might not be as simple as somebody just putting in the wrong syringe at the wrong time.”
“He’s got a point,” Vell said. “We might want to shut this down before it gets there.”
“Seems like our best option is to plant evidence, then,” Alex said.
Everyone else at the table spent a few seconds brainstorming ways to prove her wrong, and much to their frustration, could not.
“Okay, fine,” Vell said. “But it needs to be something incidental, not something anyone would get blamed for. We want to cancel the experiment, not get anyone in trouble.”
“I could have a seizure on some sensitive equipment,” Helena offered. “It’ll break something and nobody would dare get mad at me.”
“Can you fake a seizure?”
“No, but I’m allergic to elephants, so I’d probably have one anyway the moment I stepped in the lab,” Helena said.
“I don’t feel entirely comfortable sending you into anaphylactic shock for a bit,” Vell said.
“Offer’s on the table,” Helena said. “I’ll live. Wouldn’t have made it through that trip to the zoo otherwise.”
“Anybody have any non-medical emergency suggestions?”
“Seagull in the air vents,” Kim said.
“Will that work?”
“It happens now and then,” Kim said. “Seagull gets in, and Dean has to close down the whole lab for potential material damage and biohazard risks if they shit in the vents.”
“Really? We’ve never had to deal with anything like that,” Hawke said.
“It may shock you to learn that sometimes minor, tedious bullshit happens that we have nothing to do with,” Kim said.
“That is kind of surprising, actually.”
“Enough. Kim, can you grab a seagull?” Vell asked. He shouldered his bookbag, and stuck a hand into the extradimensional pocket that existed within it. “I can probably smuggle it in with my bag.”
“Yeah, I can get you a seagull,” Kim said. Since she did not need to sleep, she had to find ways to keep herself entertained at night, seagull-grabbing being among them.
“Alright, we’ll go grab one and put it in the bag,” Vell said. “The rest of you, be ready to meet us when I call.”
***
Roughly three minutes later, Vell put out the call and they reconvened in front of the biology lab.
“Yeah, that was much faster than I thought it would be,” Vell said.
“I’m great at grabbin’ birds,” Kim said. Seagulls were among the easier birds to snatch, even. They were suckers for food, and many of them were attracted to her shiny metallic body anyway.
“Let’s just get this over with,” Vell said. “I want this thing out of my bag ASAP.”
Even though the seagull was safely within a pocket dimension, Vell would swear he could still feel the bird thrashing and squawking inside his bag. He tightened his grip on the shoulder strap and led the way towards the zoology lab entrance. He grabbed the handle and held it as he froze for a second.
“Vell, what’s up? Is this bird escaping?”
“No, the handle’s vibrating,” Vell said. It was shaking the same way a wall near an incredibly loud speaker might. He pressed his ear to the door and listened closely. He opened the door immediately, and let all his friends hear the frantic trumpeting of a panicked elephant.
Inside the lab, Mae Noi was stomping her feet and trumpeting as loud as he long trunk would allow. She swayed from side to side in her pen, bumping against the walls not quite hard enough to damage them, but hard enough that it was clear she was doing it on purpose.
“What the heck is happening here?”
“Ah, Vell,” Dean Lichman said. He hustled over to Vell’s side and gestured to the entire room. “Maybe you can figure out what’s going on.”
Mae Noi stopped braying long enough to start mashing her trunk against her pedestal, mashing out the word “Bad” over and over again.
“Our test subject, Mae Noi, has been throwing an absolute fit ever since she got here,” Dean Lichman said. “Dr. Chanthara, these are the students I was telling you about earlier.”
While Vell reintroduced himself to Dr. Chanthara, Kim and Hawke stepped up to examine Mae Noi and her enclosure. It was a far cry from the peaceful, orderly scene they had examined on the first loop. They were half an hour earlier this time than before, but Kim found it unlikely that they had been able to calm Mae Noi down, clean everything up, and get back to work in such a short amount of time. They hadn’t mentioned any of this panic on the first loop either. They were soon joined in their confusion by Chanthara and Vell.
“We’ve tried everything; food, water, her favorite toys, even videos of her children,” Dr. Chanthara said. “We’ve even offered to call off the experiment, but she won’t listen.”
“She is an animal,” Alex said. “Sometimes they do things arbitrarily.”
“Not Mae,” Dr. Chanthara said. “Some of our sanctuaries residents from traumatic backgrounds can have outbursts, but Mae was injured in the wild. She’s never been like this.”
“Maybe some experiment on the island is upsetting her,” Vell said. “A sonic experiment only she can hear, or something…”
Vell stopped and thought about it. If there had been such an irritant, it would’ve been there on the first loop too. Everything always repeated exactly the same, except for-
“Could you, uh, take a step back for a second?” Vell mumbled. “I want to try talking to her.”
“Don’t get close,” Chanthara warned him.
“I’m not, I’m not,” Vell said. He didn’t need to get very close to tell a joke.
The massive brown eyes of Mae Noi stayed locked on Vell as he approached, and she continued to mash the “Bad” button on her pedestal.
“I know, I know, bad,” Vell said. “But, uh, do you want to hear a joke?”
Mae Noi stopped. She locked eyes with Vell for a few seconds, and then cautiously tapped a button on her pedestal.
“Joke.”
“Right, joke,” Vell said. He tried to recall the exact sequence of words Mae had used on the first loop. “What elephant favorite part tree?”
Mae didn’t blink.
“Trunk,” Vell said.
After a moment of contemplation, Mae Noi let out one final, fervent, trumpet, and then started mashing buttons on her pedestal again.
“Bad. Help. Help. Experiment. Bad. Help. Bad. Help.”
“Yeah, bad help, one second,” Vell said. He turned away from Mae Noi to look at Dean Lichman. “Hey, uh, excuse me, Dean? Hey, uh, if I remember correctly there are some pretty complicated rules on having intelligent animals on campus, yes?”
“Well, yes,” Dean Lichman said. After hearing of some questionable ethical practices involving an octopus back in first year, he had instituted a few clauses into the school’s ethical code of conduct regarding intelligent animals like elephants, octopuses, and dolphins. “Mae’s presence here is a bit of an outlier, but there were workaround, given her apparent consent to the experiment.”
“Yeah, about that, is she, uh,” Vell began. “Is she registered as a student?”
“Yes.”
Vell pursed his lips. It took a few seconds for his friends to catch on.
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Samson snapped. He turned his back on the crowd and leaned against a wall while Hawke put his head in his hands.
“The first rule of looping,” Alex said quietly. “Loopers are randomly selected-”
She looked up and locked eyes with Mae Noi.
“From all registered students.”
submitted by Mrmander20 to redditserials [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 01:26 Excellent-Bus2455 It happened to me follow up

I kept my appointment with my doc. I had my hubby go with me for support and I was willing to go in and let them have it! I got the worst migraine but I communicated my feelings. They were t firing me but said they won’t prescribe opioids. I told them I was firing them because I no longer felt safe or heard from them. I also explained how since both tests showed wildly different things they should do another because neither sample was tested in both their office and an outside. I explained I was raped at 4 and some of my family (not parents or bro but aunts and uncles) did not believe me and so being called a liar takes me back. She begged me to stay on and pushed more injections on me. I was ready to quit all prescription meds and be done! Other things were said on my part including telling her as someone that has chronic pain I pray it never happens to her but if it does to think of me and all the other patients that she put through this. After a decently long discussion my hubby who never talks bad about anyone told her to tell her boss he’s a COWARD! If he’s discontinuing on someone that he has multiple X-rays and tests showing significant problems he should at least have the balls to tell them himself instead of putting it on her! You could see that click and she started to get it. She said she would have a talk with him and that she hopes I’ll take time to reconsider quitting them. I also got the money they owed me for overpayment when I had surgery. I’m not sure if I will go back but at least I said my piece. So for those of y’all that thought I was lying I still maintain I have no idea how this could happen. I don’t know my next steps but a kind person that lives close by gave me some names of other doctors. Although I didn’t read all the replies from the other post I appreciate everyone that gave advice and support. Gentle hugs to you all!
submitted by Excellent-Bus2455 to ChronicPain [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:43 DistanceExternal8374 Why do georgians from Svaneti have much more CHG?

Ik that illustrative neolthic modelling isnt that accurate and is missing many important proxies but even then it doesnt explain why Georgians from this particular area having around 10-15% more CHG than the other georgian samples.
submitted by DistanceExternal8374 to illustrativeDNA [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:08 Far-War-3804 C03 JAG ARRESTS THIRD CRIMINAL COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. The UNITED STATES NAVY JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL'S CORPS, NOW has CUSTODY OF THREE of THE FOUR COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICES who TRIED STRIKING PRESIDENT TRUMP'S NAME FROM the STATE'S PRIMARY BALLOT, a JAG SOURCE SAID. February 28, 2024

C03 JAG ARRESTS THIRD CRIMINAL COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. The UNITED STATES NAVY JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL'S CORPS, NOW has CUSTODY OF THREE of THE FOUR COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICES who TRIED STRIKING PRESIDENT TRUMP'S NAME FROM the STATE'S PRIMARY BALLOT, a JAG SOURCE SAID. February 28, 2024
https://preview.redd.it/k4uzd8btru1d1.png?width=1329&format=png&auto=webp&s=06f240893a29d95fe13b1d4dec0af0d1051a205b
C03
JAG ARRESTS THIRD CRIMINAL COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICE. The UNITED STATES NAVY JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL'S CORPS, NOW has CUSTODY OF THREE of THE FOUR COLORADO SUPREME COURT JUSTICES who TRIED STRIKING PRESIDENT TRUMP'S NAME FROM the STATE'S PRIMARY BALLOT, a JAG SOURCE SAID. February 28, 2024.
The United States Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps now has custody of three of the four Colorado Supreme Court justices who tried striking President Trump’s name from the state’s primary ballot, a JAG source told Real Raw News.
As reported previously, White Hats arrested Justices Monica Marquez and William Hood in December and January, respectively, saying in a criminal affidavit that their irrational, seething hatred for President Trump engendered an atmosphere of radicalism and constitutional hatred within the state’s courts. Charged with treason and insurrection, they were sent to Guantanamo Bay to await a military tribunal, as White Hats continued chasing their still-at-large co-conspirators, Justices Melissa Heart and Richard Gabriel, the latter of whom White Hats apprehended on February 23.
According to our source and a JAG memorandum, which RRN reviewed, Gabriel had fled the United States for Belgium in January following Hood’s arrest, to which he had apparently been tipped off. White Hats opted against following him abroad because they had predicted he’d return to the roost, as do many homesick Deep Staters, and in mid-February, learned Gabriel would reenter the U.S. at the end of the month.
Although dozens of Deep Staters were caught after reentering the U.S. to see loved ones—or lascivious liaisons with consorts—Gabriel’s love of jazz (he fancies himself a musician; a “trumpeter,” amusingly)—played a part in his capture. On February 13, he wrote an email to who he thought was a longtime friend and member of the amateur jazz band to which they belonged. But the recipient reading and responding to Gabriel’s winded prose was an I.T. specialist at U.S. Army Cyber Command, replying with a combination of human ingenuity and predictive artificial intelligence.
“We’d been doing digital surveillance on his known contacts and can redirect electronic correspondence. Richard Gabriel wrote to his pal that he missed playing music with the boys and was worried the band might replace him with someone else. Cyber Command cautiously reassured him that the band missed him too and tried persuading him to come back home, posing as his friend. They did a few rounds of back and forth, and Gabriel hinted he was ready to come home, but he still hesitated. He didn’t mention anything about Trump or the court to his bandmate, but he did to the next person he contacted,” our source said.
That person was—or so he thought—Denver Second Judicial Circuit Chief Judge Christopher Baumann, a longtime non-musically inclined friend of his and a raging activist with a propensity for advocating gender-affirming care (chemical castration) for minors. Without explaining the technology, our source said ARCYBER rerouted Gabriel’s calls to Baumann to ARCYBER’s Fort Gordon headquarters and answered Gabriel’s inquiries using Baumann’s voice and vernacular, and even produced a facsimile of Baumann when Gabriel requested a FaceTime call.
“We’ve learned to adopt the Deep State’s less ethical tactics,” our source said. “Eventually the conversation got around to Gabriel asking about Hood and Marquez, if they’d really been arrested. ARCYBER conned him into believing that it was fake news, that they really went hiding to avoid Trump’s people and were now back on the bench, wondering about him. ARCYBER told him it was safe to come back because Trump was in deep shit and could no longer afford to chase down his enemies, and Gabriel bought the ruse.”
On February 23, Gabriel returned to Denver International Airport, where JAG criminal investigators awaited him. They allowed him to leave the airport and rent a car before pursuing him along Pena Blvd toward downtown Denver. They’d been prepared to sideswipe him, to send his car careening off the road, but Gabriel simplified their mission by stopping at a convenience store a mile from the airport, in the northeast suburb of Montbello. He spent five minutes in the store and returned to his rental, only to find himself staring into an open window, behind which sat, in the driver’s seat, a JAG investigator pointing a pistol at Gabriel’s forehead. As he turned to flee on foot, three more investigators advanced on him from behind and placed him in handcuffs.
Our source said Gabriel will soon join Hood and Marquez at Guantanamo Bay.
We asked our source why JAG hasn’t yet held tribunals for the other two.
“Because Admiral Crandall will try them jointly. And that means we need all four, and we’ll have Melissa Heart soon enough,” he said.
submitted by Far-War-3804 to CourtofAges [link] [comments]


2024.05.22 00:01 WrongStep6501 I (20M) can't cope with the breakup even after 1 Year

So I(20M) was in a relationship for 1 year with a girl(19F) since the 1st Year of our college. This was both of our first relationship and we both never really tried before and both are very ambitious about our careers. I approached her and I was very straightforward about it and we got in a relationship after 2 months of knowing each other but we spent quite a lot of time together. Everything went well for 1 year , we had a great time , she would at many times show her gratitude for me being in her life and I would feel the same. However, she had some issues adjusting to the college life as she was an introvert and didn't had any friends in college, she also didn't like to hang out much and mostly focused on her studies, I was the only one she would spend time in college and even I had to convenience her to go out and do things because she never made any plans, but I can say for sure that she really liked going out every time with me.
There were many times that she would get upset over little things or rude over things that wasn't even my fault , like weather, exam stress etc. I never really made a big issue out of it and thought that she is just having trouble adjusting in college. I ALWAYS apologised when she would get upset because I considered here to be really emotional person , and even though her reasons for being upset were not very logical many times I thought she must be feeling a lot of things emotionally and if I apologise she'll feel heard and she'll feel better. This turned out to be big mistake , because after this apology she would mostly be upset for around a day and after that everything used to get normal and she would act normal again, because I was so in love with her, seeing her smile after the argument and hugging her after the separation of 1 day used to make my heart melt and I would she things like "Thank you for being so understanding" , I never really cared about ego or anything, to me she was very special , she was really Innocent and unique. Like I understood that this is her first relationship and she obviously doesn't understand how to react to these situations and acts out of emotions and since I can understand that it's just emotions I should be the understanding one. You can say this was the only issue in our relationship, we had no major issues and really was quite a fit for each other.
Now in our 3rd semester almost 1 year of being in a relationship, there was an argument between us, not even an argument, it was just me ranting for 1.5-2 Minutes, according to her this was the first time someone treated her this way, this is the start of all the troubles of my life, all I did was - I was waiting for 2.5 hours for her to complete a meet that she said would end in 15 minutes when it ended she was going forgetting that I was waiting for her, in the heat of the moment I said "it was a stupid meet and these people (the college club that held the meet) just keeps wasting our time" obviously in a very mocking tone and with anger, however, I controlled my anger and cracked a joke, and just still mocked the club with one two more lines. I promise I remember that day exactly that I even said this to her that I know it's not your fault even though you didn't know that it would take that long and I said nothing after that, NOT EVEN A SINGLE THING TO HER, according to her this was the first time I was angry on her and talked to her in this tone. She went completely silent as I was talking ( and this is a pattern , everytime she gets angry she would do this) and the thing is before this time , every time she went silent I would shut up and let her be , and she used to create this stressful and toxic environment where she would just don't talk to me at all and if she talks she'll be really rude and this time too I PREDICTED this but what was different this time was I WAS ALREADY FRUSTRATED, I was sick that day, I was not doing well adjusting to the new Semester and college myself , one of my biggest personal projects had Just Failed ( I dropped a year because of this project) and so I just didn't had the energy to let her go to hostel angry like this , so that it doesn't waste my 2 more days, I had no space for more stress in my life at that time. So I requested her to speak and she stayed silent, and I requested more and it just got really bad I kept asking her to speak and requesting her to speak and she was just silent like always, I knew I was angry it felt really wrong but I was frustrated with that behaviour , but she went back to hostel like that. After few hours I texted her apologising and explaining that I was really frustrated and stressed.
Next Morning I sent more messages In a lighter tone, cracked a joke but she replied very rudely, I called her and she didn't pick and I got really anxious and she didn't pick any call. I waited , apologised, cracked few jokes and said that this won't happen again because I won't really be that low in my life again , I would like always understand and can you understand too and she just replied "I am done being so understanding" I was shocked, and she started saying things like "I don't have feelings for you anymore" , She used things from my rant of last night "You don't even like the people I work with" and so many things , I just kept panicking and I went to her hostel and texted her that I am really sorry but we need to talk in person, that she is just really angry and that I would listen to anything she has to say, but she didn't say anything and didn't came down.
Then she wrote a day after that She would talk to me in a few days, meanwhile, we continued to see each other in class and she would just act so distant like she didn't even know me. This hurt me a lot (In retrospect I think I was also very naive to be so hurt and emotional) but I tried to talk to her again and she didn't even look at me, a few days later she invited me to talk to her in front of her hostel. She just said that She needs a one-month NO CONTACT break and that she needs some space, I reluctantly agreed because I wanted to talk to her first but she didn't want me to. I said that it would be really difficult since we see each other every day and we need to resolve things first but she was adamant. She said doesn't even want a single text from me. I agreed but I was really angry, this was very Irrational in my opinion and I just knew things ended at that point. I didn't text her or call her, though in the next seven days, I made the mistake of looking at her in class two or three times, to which she texted me that I should stop staring at her and that made her uncomfortable, this made me even angrier, this was the first time I stopped apologising after the fight and said that this isn't practical that we act as complete stranger and that I also really hurting from all this.
In a matter of one week she changed a lot , started giving all the details to her male best friend and also started acting very extrovert, she started joining events, late night walk with friends ( she never did this while we were in relationship , she used to get a call from her mother at 10 PM and she would always go back to hostel) , she started going out a lot and so much more , all in a matter of a week. All of this made me lose my patience and through a common friend I tried to find out what was going in her mind, after 8 days since she announced BREAK , she told that friend that she is going to breakup with me at the end of one month, that really made me angry because 8 days had been really tough on me and I just couldn't take anymore, I was fearful of going that if I see her and stare her for too long then she will get another point to breakup with me, this was breaking me. 4 days after this I went in front of her when she was returning from a party with her friends that Included our common friend and I stopped her and asked her to just talk to me and say what she wants to, she argued , she blamed me , and then she started crying and I just couldn't she her cry like that , and I just didn't want to be the bad guy in her life , I didn't want to be reason she is so sad, and I agreed to her breaking up with me. We walked for hours after that and I explained in every possible way that there must be some misunderstanding but she was so adamant, she said a lot of hurtful things in a calm way, but I just kept it all together because I didn't want to hurt her and made her feel like she was right.
we decided to keep talking and I was as nice as I could be , but she was rude at times, and she started talking about our breaking , saying that she is "Single" now to her friends, and she was never even so outgoing or extrovert to reveal things so fast. She would at times be really rude to me that I should be grateful that she is still talking to me, so one day I just released it all, all the pain and anger, told her that she was wrong in breaking up and the way she did it was cruel. we stopped talking.
Later on she agreed that she should not have asked for break, that her actions and behavior hurt me and so on but still she would act really rude just a day after saying these things and surprisingly the innocent and kind person that I thought her to be said to me that it's her choice who she dates, and "You can't stop me from moving on" that's my choice and she said to me because I was shocked that "You don't understand these things , there are many things like moving-on & REBOUNDS" , ( this is 2 weeks after the breakup), this is the day I lost all trust in her and to be honest all my respect for her, from this day on all my arguments with her was to get some closure I just wanted to understand, why would she do it, she never gave me closure.
there were many times after that when she was very nice and apologized for everything, said that I am someone really important in her life but she can't be in a relationship because she is not ready now but soon after that she would argue with me and act rude, I was not very nice too, after I lost all trust I was always really anxious, I used to feel very good when she would understand me and understand my situation so I would forget everything but soon after that she would just act really rude and distant, the text messages all of it was just a nightmare, waiting for her to reply.
I never felt this broken in my life, I used to be really ambitious and confident, and during all these traumatic events I considered ending it all many times because with the relationship everything else went downhill too, my acads, career, health. I even started smoking (which feels so stupid, people thing it was because of her but it was just at this point I lost all hope from life because I messed up so much).
It's been a year almost (8-9 months ) since our breakup but I still can't get over what happened, I still can't look at her in class, all I want to know is that Did I really deserve this? Was I really wrong for bothering her after the breakup for closure, in my opinion, I did "bother" her many times after the breakup for some closure, everytime she would either agree to everything I said or present something like we can keep talking or something like that, or sometimes just say she doesn't have the answer but never really gave me any closure.
She said that I am old fashioned and not "modern" to be still hung up on her and not moving on , I don't know if she is right or not because I have always been insecure about this, because I grew up in a small town in very backward state so maybe she is right I am too orthodox, and maybe she is right that that day I didn't treat her well and that's why breaking up was right but I don't know anymore. Am I even right in hating her for doing this or I am one of those guys who just curses their ex after a breakup, I am really just toxic and narcissistic, I just need validation of either of my theory just tell me what I should believe because I don't know anymore, I have been overthinking this for many nights, I have read so many Psychological blogs and seen many videos, what am I ? A toxic , narcissistic Red flag and she was right in just leaving me one day.
To all the modern people her, it's just normal for a girl to just leave you one day because you had a heated argument? They can end everything and hence you lose all "right" to be around them ? to ask them to talk to you ? or to resolve issues. isn't this a torture? I felt it to be torturous and I felt the urge to end it all because it came from someone who I admired a lot, who I adored, cared about her more than anything.
I don't know what to do anymore, I can't see her with anyone else in campus because I still feel that it's unresolved, I don't want to hate her but I don't know what I can do
submitted by WrongStep6501 to RelationshipIndia [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:50 kanepedekikedi My flatmate is accusing me of giving a key to my boyfriend behind his back

I've (23,F) been dating my bf(35,M) for almost a year and friends with the flatmate (21,M) for almost four. Living together for 2 years.
My boyfriend used to stay 2-3 nights but would drop by almost every night for 10-20 mins to hug me, kiss me and then leave. My flatmate and boyfriend got to know each other during this past year and they normally get along well. We even went on a vacation as a trio, just a month ago.
So around 3 months ago my flatmate voiced some issues about my boyfriend staying so often. I said it's okay, i can do 2 nights instead. Mind you, those nights start after 11 as we both work and end before 4-5 p.m. the next day. I didn't create any problems, i even told him it's good he said this, maybe it would become the reason he takes me out on more dates as he wouldn't be seeing me as often. So the flatmate then said, "i also don't like him dropping by. Even if it's for five minutes, i feel like i see him everyday and i feel like this isn't my house when i see a third person so often."
I said okay. No more hugs at the doorstep. I was honestly disappointed but i knew i had to comply in order to keep my peace at home.
Still the situation affected my own peace. I no longer had a home where i could just casually call my boyfriend to, even if it's for ten minutes. We had a strict schedule. One day, he couldn't come so we postponed to next day without letting the apartment manager ahem sorry, the flatmate know. But it was still 2 days within the same week, not three. Not at all to my surprise, the flatmate again told me how bothered he was that he wasn't informed. All i did was say sorry and promise I'll inform him next time there's a change.
Fast forward to last week, boyfriend and i were out of town for some important stuff but then we realized our day trip was going to take longer he had to go back home as he had work. Before he left, he had parked his motorcycle in front of my apartment building (he lives too far away and it was way more convenient to do so, for retrieving it later). Then he knocked on my door to ask whoever was at home to hand him his helmet, which we had left in my bedroom. The person (whoever opened the door) ended up telling him they don't know where it is, so he went to my room to get it. While he was there, he noticed that the cats were hungry and their litterbox was stinky, so he took care of that too and left immediately after. In summary, i was having a very hard time out of town and he was retrieving his helmet and helping me out however he could, as he should.
And tonight we came back home extremely tired. We both have not slept a decent night's sleep for the past 5 days. He has pulled 3 all-nighters and i, 2. I told him to come rest a bit in the kitchen and then he could leave. We spent half an hour in the kitchen, chatted to my flatmate and our friend who has been staying with us. And then bf left. I was then immediately asked this question: "How did your boyfriend enter the apartment that day?"
I was confused because i remember him mentioning that one of those two had opened the door for him. I said "I'm not sure". The flatmate said "well i did not open the door. Then the other friend said "neither did i.. actually, i just don't remember opening the door".
I called bf to confirm. He said it was the other friend who opened the door. I hung up the phone and told them that. The friend just replied "i... Don't remember. I'm not sure".
I was still confused by this question. My boyfriend doesn't have a key. So it must be one of those two who opened the door for him. And what kind of a question is that? Why would you even ask that? All i knew was that the room was becoming very tense.
I asked "what's wrong?" To which the flatmate replied, "We both did not open the door. He came inside somehow. Did he have your keys?"
I explained over and over that i had given my keys to the friend before leaving, and i have never given the bf any keys. We only have two, one is always on the flatmate and other one is mine. I genuinely thought they were joking so i attempted to break the ice by saying "well looks like bf is secretly a ghost!". The attempt did not work, they were both dead serious.
Then i asked "are you implying that my boyfriend got another key made behind my back?" They said "why not". I mean respectfully sir, you shouldn't be going on vacations with the people who you believe have the potential to break into your home and commit a literal crime. What i mean is, these people both know my boyfriend very well, and they know he's not that kind of person.
Well after this they both looked at me like i was hiding things. They said "well we don't know who opened the door" to which i replied "well that is a you problem, you probably should know whether you've opened a door or not".
The flatmate also added that he was again bothered that noone let him know the boyfriend was coming. And the fact that he was here when i wasn't. I mean... He was just taking back his helmet and cleaning cat litter for heaven's sake. Not like he sat in front of tv with a beer. And it was early morning, he had not slept for two days straight, just come back from a 7 hour trip, and just wanted to take his helmet so that he could go to work. He couldn't let me know because i was sleeping, 7 hours away from him.
I've lived with actually toxic situations before, but for this one i don't know what to think. Am i even slightly right? Or am i fucked? Should i move? How can i approach this situation? Someone please give me some advice, right now I'm very much sleep deprived and can't think but i feel like this kind of accusation should probably make me angry.
TL&DR: i was out of town, my flatmate and another friend were home. My boyfriend stopped by for something and the other friend opened the door. Now that friend says she doesn't remember whether she opened the door or not, and they accuse me of giving my boyfriend a spare key (or him making another key for himself)
submitted by kanepedekikedi to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:37 ryanmark234 [Hire me] Pay someone to take my nursing homework online reddit Take my nursing exam Reddit Take my nursing Class Reddit Nursing Course Takers for Hire Reddit Hire me to take your nursing course homework assignment exam test quiz lab Reddit Online helper for nursing course help reddit

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submitted by ryanmark234 to nursinghelp2024 [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:22 John_Smith_4724 Pay someone to take my nursing assignment online Reddit

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submitted by John_Smith_4724 to nursinghelp2024 [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:16 diabeticweird0 Hiatal hernia questions

48f 5'7" 120 pounds
T1D
Meds: buspirone, zoloft, adderall, dexilant, insulin, rosuvastatin
Been having ruq pain, constipation, and diarrhea. Serious cramping at times. Biggest complaint it's that pain in the right side, i have been constantly adjusting my posture and sleep position so my back is now always hurting too. Happening since March
Fecal Elastase was <50
Gall bladder removed last year
Today was my endoscopy
Before the procedure? The doctor was like : oh your a1c is too high, that's probably causing all your symptoms"
My last A1C was 6.6 and it has been between 6.3 and 6.8 for the last 15 years, which is when i was diagnosed
After the procedure they said i had a hiatal hernia and fluid in my stomach, likely pointing to gastroparesis
They will likely schedule a gastric emptying if insurance will cover it but that will likely take several months
They took some samples to biopsy
I was told to eat small low fiber meals and see you in September for a follow up
My sister has had a hernia strangulation and almost lost part of her bowel so i am a little concerned they seem to be doing nothing about this. Is this something they're going to be watching? Do hernias get bigger? Constipation and hernia is no good right? I get backed up pretty easily, always have, and low fiber seems like that'll make that worse?
(Older colonoscopy showed a sharp right turn in a part of my lower colon, and yes that is where it often hurts when things aren't moving bc it doesn't get around the corner as well i guess)
He also didn't like that i was on Dexilant and wants to move me to otc famotidine after a month, which doesn't touch the GERD at all. Says Dexilant has too many side effects
I have tried famotidine, omeprazole, pantaprozale
Dexilant is the only one that works. Believe me, this shit is expensive, if otc pepcid worked Id be ALL over it
I understand being hesitant for hernia surgery, surgery is a big deal and if it can be managed medically, great
But i would like to know what, if anything, is going to happen going forward. Do i get an egd every year or something to watch it? Does this explain the upper right quadrant pain? I asked about the enzymes from the Fecal test and he just said"take them if you want"??
And if anyone could clarify what problems Dexilant could cause that'd be very helpful too Thank you.
submitted by diabeticweird0 to AskDocs [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 23:08 rickrockster Roger Bacon - Prologue

Olá! It's me! I'm Rickle Pick! Hello everyone!
So, I’ve been listening to some stories about Neckbeards and Kevins, as well as some Legbeards and Kevinas (Is that the correct term??). Well, most of the times I listen to those stories, I am reminded of some people I used to deal with in school. Specifically, this time, the tale of a guy, who I’ll name Roger Bacon for reasons soon to be explained. Sorry for any grammar errors, eu falo português! I also don't really know the posting rules here, so I'll just post it and see how it goes lol
This prologue is more of a compilation of stories that I think is needed before we get to the main shenanigans and awkward situations this guy put himself AND me into. If this generates any interest, I will post more specific tales of this weirdo! Long time lurker, first time poster, english is definitely not my first language and the whole shebang. I also never wrote a text this large, so go easy on me!
THE LIST:
Well, I guess it’s usual to make a list of people that appear in those stories, so I’ll make one just for you!
Me: Your basic musician-type nerdy theater kid white guy! Tall, thin with medium-light brown hair. At the time, I usually wore a leather jacket and sometimes a hat (not a fedora, a Chaplin hat. Also, where I live, hats are an acceptable attire choice lol). I kinda looked like the Once-ler from Lorax. At this time, I had just failed my second year of high school because of… honestly just lack of effort, mixed with undiagnosed ADHD and a bit of lacking in the ol’ confidence and self-respect department. At the time, I also was physically incapable of saying no and had a crippling fear of disappointing people.
Roger Bacon: 168 centimeters (or 5,5ft for the uncivilized) of pure muscle! Or at least he thought it was that way. In reality, he did have some muscles but was kinda chubby and flaccid. Not FAT fat, but athletic fat (???). He was mixed, light skinned, had shaved short curly hair, no beard (except for the inside beard) and his face was a special kind of oval, besides having a, "chiseled jaw". He always smelled like he had just gotten out of a day-long brawl with a french cologne wearing burrito. He wasn't an usual neckbeard, but he was a huge attention whore. Thought too much of himself, as we say here in Brazil: “Promised too much, delivered nothing at all.” His moto was: “Dude, I think she’s into me!”
For now, these are the characters, as the focus is to introduce you all to Roger Bacon as a person.
With the list over, let us get to the story.
FEBUARY 2018:
The year of 2018 started pretty badly for me. I had just been held back from 10th grade, had no friends and didn’t really know anyone. As most people know, high school in Brazil is quite different from America, as we start school in febuary and we share the same class with the same people all day, excluding language classes and extra-curriculum activities. This meant that, for the foreseeable future, I was alone. On the first day of school, I shyly sat on the last desk on the far right corner of the room, as I scanned my classroom to see what I was dealing with. A few groups of people sitting together, talking and greeting their friends, some loners reading or playing on their phones. The artsy girl drawing a beauriful woman on the white board. Some guy drawing a penis right beside her. Perfect balance. A normal classroom.
Another difference between our school systems is that we don’t really have clicks based on like Jocks or Nerds or Pretty Girls, it’s mostly people who connected in childhood or matched personalities, instead of connecting through roles and interests within the school. Not saying either one is better, just different. And yeah, the bullying situation is just as bad. I was bullied for my whole middle school and through first year of high school, and made a very specific group of low profile friends. So when I failed sophomore year I thought to myself “Screw it, if I’m going to be held back, that’s at least a second chance for me to grow an acceptable social life.”
All this elucidates how intimidating it could be for someone to join a new classroom full of mostly new faces. If you were unable to make a friend, you’d pretty much be on your own for the whole year unless an already formed group “adopted” you. So my mindset was to at least try and meet new people.
Well, have you ever said “I’m gonna do this thing I’ve never done before!” And got the worst possible circunstance you could get at the very first attempt? Welp, that’s just what happened. My strategy was to start small, and go talk to only one person at first, and then try to interact with a few of the groups as that was a bit intimidating (fun fact: we call “clicks “panelinhas”, spelled “pah-neh-lin-ias”, wich means “little pans”, because, you know, they’re closed groups, like a closed… pan. Idk, anyway), so I went up to this guy in front of me, and that guy was Roger Bacon.
He was almost lying on his chair, on a cool guy pose while messing around on his phone. He was also wearing a black sports tank top with a grey opened sweatshirt and the standard uniform wine-red shorts that were mandatory in our school, which made him look like a short and jelly version of Rocky balboa mixed with Kick Buttowski.
In real life, my name and his started with sequential letters, and because of this, we would sit near each other for the whole year, so I guessed he’d be the best person to interact with. I also KINDA knew him because we had basketball training after class in like 2015 and I went to the same church as him, in which I befriended his brother, Kevin, slightly, but didn’t have much contact with him because he had already graduated (I have some stories about basketball and church so tell me if yall wanna read them lol). I approached and gestured for him to take of his headphones (They were extremely loud, so I could recognize he was listening to the song In The End by Linkin Park).
Me: Hey! Aren’t you Roger? You’re Kevin’s brother, right?
RB, trying to sound stoic: “Oh, hey Rick. Yeah, it’s me… fortunately for you.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
RB explained: “Well, I’m the cool brother! Kevin was lame, and also had no friends.”
Me: “Isn’t he in a band with [insert band members]? They seem to be his friends…
RB: “They might look nice, but they’re all assholes. Don’t let them fool you! I’m the nice brother, Kevin is a dipshit.
To elucidate you: that band he said was made of assholes was the Worship band of the church we went to. It was also the worship band that I occasionally played the piano with.
I said, jokingly: “Guess I’m an asshole then! Because, ya know, I play with them more often than not”
RB: “No man, it’s just them. They’re just so infuriating! They never let me participate!”
Me: “Wow, that’s weird… I mean, I didn’t know you were a musician too! What instrument do you play?”
RB: “I play the drums, piano, guitar, bass and I also sing. But Kevin keeps me out because he wants to be the 'star brother'!”
I could tell he got a little heated, and went silent for a little while. I decided not to mention the band or his brother in his presence, 'cause ya know, that was pretty awkward lol.
I remember thinking to myself “This guy’s kinda weird”, because his brother was one of the nicest people I had ever known, and he also didn’t have the say on who played on the band, the worship leader did. I thought about confronting Roger with this, but I didn’t want to abandon my quest of finding a friend. And also, he seemed chill at first, if not a little insecure.
I was a little uncomfortable with this line of conversation, so I opted to change the subject. We talked a bit more about me having been held back, and he went on about how he was really good at math and chemistry, and how he could help me with my school stuff.
I was glad to have someone to help me, and even more, someone who apparently liked the stuff I liked. I remembered what he was listening to, so I commented on it and asked which song was his favorite, and we talked about Linkin Park for a bit. He said “In The End” was his favorite song, and then I mentioned I was a huge Linkin Park fan. He told me he was a big fan as well, but as we talked about it, it became a bit fishy. He never specifically said anything and just kinda repeated what I said. It became clear after a while that “In The End” was, in fact, virtually the only song he knew from that band.
That was the first time I noticed something strange, but only in hindsight, as at the time I just thought he really wanted to make a human connection. I remember thinking he was just excited to know someone who was open to talking to him, so I didn’t think anything of it.
Also, not everyone memorizes this stuff, and maybe he did only remember one song, for whatever reason, so I let that pass. I only felt necessary to include this information because it was, at least in some way, the first lie that Roger told me, a little sample, if you will, of what’s to come.
After we talked for a while, mostly catching up on our lives, the bell rung and our first actual class had begun, and I had the first-hand experience of this guy’s sense of humor. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as the new Geography teacher, and started a power point presentation about some of the subjects we’d be covering that year, saying “Please pay attention to this class, as you’ll need to know how our schedule will work”. Roger looked back and said “Huh, I guess this class is useless for you then, being held back and all, hahah”, which made everyone look at me and just kinda stare like I should say something, and he kept repeating the joke to anyone that showed any reaction besides just staring, adding “Amirite? Huh? Amirite?”.
I was kinda salty about this, but my people pleasing peapod brain couldn’t handle letting it show, so I just laughed and said nothing. I guessed it was a poorly thought out joke at first, but then Roger proceeded to make the same comment on every single one of the opening classes we had for both of the introductory days. There were 12 of them. He did it every time. Every. Single. Time. Sometimes he repeated it even louder, as if he didn’t think people heard it, because no-one was laughing.
“Ok”, I said to myself, “He didn’t mean to make fun of me, he’s just a little overexcited and probably is trying to make a connection and help me get acquainted to our classmates.”
Either way, I was very uncomfortable and annoyed.
Thankfully, this came to a halt when he was practically thrown out of the Literature class for interrupting the teacher mid-sentence while she talked about how important the first month of class would be for our comprehension of the whole subject. He made the joke four times. FOUR TIMES. I was beginning to think that I made a mistake, but well, the mistake was already made, at least I can try and understand him a bit, before judging.
The rest of the week went by and he didn’t get any better, but I got kinda used to it. In fact, I actually enjoyed having conversations with him at recess, when we could talk a bit more freely. And, as all things in life tend to do, it got weirder. Weirder in the sense that as we spoke more and more, I noticed a bit of a concerning pattern: every time I shared an experience I had, he’d share a cooler and more awesome almost equal experience back.
Some light examples:
I told him I went hiking for 2-3 kilometers on a trail by the beach. Then he smirked and said he went hiking for “at least 7 kilometers on a deserted beach that only his father’s company’s employees had access to and he saw a Gorilla. There are no gorillas in Brazil. Maybe in zoos, I guess, but definitely no gorillas.
I told him I was kinda sad because I had just ended a “thing” with a girl from my old grade. He “proudly” said he’s been dumped by his ex, Laura, after they dated for 11 months and made out aaaallll the time after school, and he even saw her “lady parts” once!”.
And then he went on to describe that shit for like 3 straight classes, adding more and more to the story every chance he had to speak, providing me with my daily dose of cringe in tiny bits of uncomfortable information at a time! Like a sporadic cringe snack! Sninge! Crack? Probably Crack.
ANYWAYS
There was also the time I told him the story of how I became best friends with a guy because we got into a fight in P.E.. We were arguing about some nonsense and he wanted to fight, so after he socked me on my stomach, I cheaply kicked him in the face so hard I almost sprained my ankle and then we started laughing (because I guess sometimes that’s all it takes). Phillip is my best friend for almost 10 years now.
Roger puffed up his soap dish chest went on for at least 2 classes worth of time about how he “beat up his last bully and broke both of his arms, and almost went to prison, but his dad is a lawyer and bailed him out”. Dude was 16, and I don’t think he’d need to be bailed out, but okay… He was, in fact, very badass.
Those are all approximations of actual stories he told me, because my ADHD memory is shit, but you get the gist of it.
My days were filled with endless stories filled with absolute bullshit, like a Gary Stu from a dying rpg campaign. (I have a story about a DnD game he participated in, but that’s for another time!)
Roger, not content with lying to me about anecdotal facts about his past that could be true but were almost certainly mostly bullshit (if not entirely), had a tendency to just negate reality when presented with facts in certain situations.
And example of this situation is the time we were doing a group assignment and a girl at least 3 meters in front of him dropped her pencil and he just kinda threw himself on the ground, picked it up and said “Here you go, Lana!”. She said “Thanks Roger!”, barely turning around and carried on with the assignment. Roger, then, turned to me with a sleek shit feasting smirk on his face and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me??”
I contained a ridiculing laughter just in time to realize he was dead serious.
I said “I don’t know man… Doesn’t seem like it to me, but sure I guess.”
RB then straight up asked ME to go talk to her and get HIM her number. When I asked why shouldn’t he do it, he said it was “the wingman’s job to get the number of the girl” so that he wouldn’t “look weak for asking”
I said I’d do it, cause I genuinely wanted to see if he was right about her liking him (I hadn’t really understood the dynamics of the classroom, so I actually had no idea if he was actually right, just a gut feeling that yeah, he probably wasn’t).
I went up to her and asked for her number, explaining it was Roger who was interested in her and, as I pulled out my raging 2014’s Sony XPeria, I was swiftly interrupted by her delicately saying “Sorry! I have a boyfriend.” (She said the boyfriend part out loud, and stared at Roger)
I said “Oh, ok, sorry to bother ya!” and, as I was starting to walk back, I noticed that she turned back and glared at Roger. Later that day her boyfriend texted him, telling him that “He’s got to stop asking her out, and next time, if he wants to get rejected, he should come do it himself” He called him a moron. And then they both blocked him.
Well, that was embarrassing.
Despite having been turned down (for the 6th time now, I’d come to find out), Roger still maintained that she was “totally into him”, and it wasn’t just Lana. Any time he had even the smallest interaction with any girl, he’d say that they’re “probably into him”, or that “they made out at a party, but she was drunk and probably won’t remember”, or that they “sent him nudes last year but he’s already deleted them because he’s a good person, with morals”.
This went on for a while and, after about a month, Roger begun to dial down the crazy stories about how he’s a “badass and he gets all the girls but he’s single because he’s too good for them”. Until I started seeing a girl from another church I started going to. I met Janice () at the churches youth group, and we talked the whole time afterwards about lots of stuff. This name’s given because of her insanely similar laughter and demeanor of Janice from Friends. We clicked well and I was very interested in her, but my ADHD ass forgot to get her number, and remembered it only when she had already left.
When I told Roger, he laughed and said “I had just cockblocked myself” and that I’d “probably missed my only chance of banging a girl ever”. I was bummed, but clarified I didn’t really want to have sex before marriage or at least before making an emotional connection (I had just then begun to go to church, so I didn’t really get the rules, so it was more of a personal choice I always had in mind when thinking about dating. Also I met her at church so wtf).
He said “that was dumb” and, “even though he was a virgin, he’d dance the Devil’s Tango with the first chick he had the chance to”
“What about Laura?”, I asked. His face went from a confident smirk to an almost sad expression, and he blankly replied: “She didn’t want to, but I tried anyway at times. I even got a blowie once!” I let it go because I was very tired, as Mondays are hell on earth.
A few classes later, I went up to him and reminded him of our conversation and asked:
I said “Ooookay, but what about all those girls you told me were all over you? Didn’t they want to have some bum bum times with you??”
He was taken by surprise by this, and was visibly trying so hard to think of an answer for at least 15 seconds. He mumbled “Well…”, and like just left. Like he got up in the middle of the class, and walked away. Well that was weird!
He got back and I didn’t pry, thinking he had some kind of trauma, and I tried to change the subject.
I say “tried” because instead we were suddenly interrupted by a girl asking me if I was Rick. I didn’t know her or how she had materialized beside our desks, but later I found out that that girl’s name was Mary. She had blue eyes and was smiling mischievously, and I answered “Yup, that’s me”. She then giggled and said that “Anna wanted to make out with me after class”. Me and Roger were both very much taken aback by this, and I immediately thought to myself that this could only be some type of dare or prank (which it probably was), and was about to try and respond with the first witty joke that popped up in my monkey brain when, without missing a beat, Roger said “Rick’s already seeing someone!”. Mary was visibly surprised and said “Oh, you have a girlfriend??” with a look of disbelief on her face. Ouch. I explained that I wouldn’t say I do, I just liked a girl from church and we’re going to see a movie with some friends on Saturday, and that either way it was a pass on the making out sesh! Mary said “Oh, okay!” and started to walk back to her desk. I was about to make a joke and say that Anna could probably do better than me, when Roger interjected:
RB: “I’d like a making out sesh if she’s interested!”
Mary looked back with a visible “Lol, ew no” expression and just said: “I’m sure you would, Roger!”, turned away and sat down, laughing with her friends when she got to her desk.
Roger turned to me and said:
RB: “Dude, do you think she’s into me?”
This cycle repeated once in a while, so I’m not gonna tell you all of the situations that I felt like shaking him and trying to wake him up like Woody does to Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story. Exhausting, right?
Another thing Roger tended to brag about was that he did Martial Arts. Specifically, Kung Fu (Wushu). I would come to find out that, in the year before, he made a big scene to tell everyone in class that he’d just started Kung-Fu classes and, when no-one payed attention, he started a habit of punching the wall beside his desk, audibly making “hmpft” noises. When anyone asked why, he’d say he was training, and that his Sensei (Not shifu, he actually said sensei) had asked him to do that to strengthen his fists so he could harness all the strength he had, so one day he could put a hole through a wall with his fists.
He would also punch the school’s fireproof doors because, if you didn’t know, they dent pretty easily, and he would show me and tell me to bask at his strength and ability. That until I said I’d give it a try. He told me not to, because “I wasn’t trained” and “it could really hurt my hand”. I punched the door. It made a dent.
Roger said it was beginners luck and that he’s just a good teacher. I told him I really didn’t even make an effort to pay attention, the metal was just bendy and soft. Roger never talked about it again, and started only punching walls. For that, he would feel superior because, yeah I ain’t doing that. There were consequences for his wall punching habits, but I’ll address that some other time.
The last thing I’ll say about him for now is how clueless Roger was, how much he thought of himself and how he treated everyone else like they should (and would) respecting for what he told them, and not for what he showed them.
(I plan on doing another part eventually, with the story of how his disconnection with reality, lies, schemes and generally narcissist behavior eventually exploded back into his face.)
As a last bit of exposition of our circumstances, there’s an important part of our school life that fueled Roger’s social life’s demise.
Pranking was a big part of my class’ culture. There were also some people in my classroom who were bullied. The thing is: the bullies actually made fun of literally everyone else, which made it very hard to figure out if you were considered a target or just a colleague. They’d mess with people’s stuff, tie backpacks to the windows and hide pencil cases, but they would also do it to their own group.
Essentially, the only way to differentiate those who they considered normal schoolmates from those who were bullied was the frequency of the pranks and their demeanor in general towards those people. They would apologize for the pranks, ask to make up for it, buy you lunch, make jokes, try to laugh with you. I swear some of those guys were politicians in the making. Luckily, was very good friends with one of the guys in that group, I’ll call him Turkey, who was also held back a few years before me, and he liked my sister, so I was mostly safe.
Roger, on the other hand, THOUGHT he was one of the pranksters. Every time someone pranked him or anyone else, he would laugh knowingly, like he was in on the joke the whole time, and try to make jokes, only to further humiliate himself. And they would capitalize on that as hard as they could.
You see, Roger liked to portray himself as the “Mysterious-Badass-Quiet-Protagonist-Take-No-Shit-From-Anyone-Mr.-Steal-Yo-Girl” guy. This combo of personality substitutes was the recipe for the downfall of his popularity, and the start of the longest lasting pranks I’ve ever seen in my life, which will come if yall want another post. That prank is also the reason I named him Roger Bacon.
Because he was so into Math and Science (and into himself too lol) he also always wanted to look like the smartest guy in the room. The problem is that, as our first semester went by, it became clear that he wasn’t as good as he hyped himself up to be. Shocker, right? This was proven to be true when we were doing a chemistry group test, and I was paired with him and Anna, and we needed to calculate some entropies or whatever. He made a point of telling us to do all of the “easy ones”, and he would take on the more complicated questions.
The thing is, he was trying really hard to look like a genius, to maybe impress Anna, so every time he made a calculation, he would roll his eyes up and kinda vibrate a little. I guess he wanted to look like a genius mathematics robot, but instead he looked like he was trying to imitate an autistic person having a small stroke. I didn’t mind the Good Doctor amateur impersonation, because at least it looked like he knew what he was doing. Unfortunately, it really just looked like he knew what he was doing.
Each easy question of the test was worth 1 point, and there were 4 of them, and there were 3 hard questions worth 2 points each. We got a 4/10 on that test, and lo and behold, the only questions we got right were the ones me and Anna worked on. We were a bit pissed, not gonna lie.
Until the last time we spoke, Roger still blames Anna for his complete failure at this test for, in his words, distracting him because she was obviously into him.
But that’s just Roger, I guess!
I've got A LOT of stories about Roger and other neckbeards I've encountered, and I can't wait to tell them!
Until then, thanks for reading, and have a good one yall!
submitted by rickrockster to ReddXReads [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 22:53 nosnevenaes PLEASE CRITIQUE MY WOO WOO BIGFOOT THEORY

Title: The Telepathic Primate Ghost Theory: A New Perspective on Bigfoot

I've been pondering the Bigfoot phenomenon and have developed a theory that I believe could explain some of the longstanding mysteries associated with these sightings. I'd like to share it with you all for feedback and discussion.
The Theory:
Bigfoot sightings could be the result of encounters with the ghosts, or spectral presences, of primates that once roamed the Earth. These primates may have possessed acute non-verbal communication abilities, similar to what some primitive human tribes are documented to have, which border on the telepathic. This theory posits that Bigfoot isn't a physical creature but a ghost from our evolutionary past.
Why No Physical Evidence?
The lack of definitive physical evidence of Bigfoot, such as bodies or consistent DNA samples, supports the idea that we're dealing with something other than than purely biological. This aligns with how we understand other paranormal phenomena, where physical evidence is elusive.
Connecting to Our Ancestral Past:
If humans are believed to have spectral remnants like ghosts and poltergeists, why couldn't our biological ancestors, who have been on Earth far longer than modern humans, also manifest in this way? This could be a missing piece in understanding our deep and complex relationship with these mysterious sightings.
I propose that what we're experiencing with Bigfoot is a window into our past, a glimpse of what might have been a common form of existence and interaction among earlier primates that we, in our modern civilization, have largely forgotten or dismissed.
Cultural Significance:
This theory also aligns with various indigenous folklore around the world, where creatures akin to Bigfoot are often seen as more than mere animals—they are sometimes revered as spiritual beings or ancestors.
Psychic Abilities and Nonverbal Communication:
The experiences reported by people encountering Bigfoot often include a strong psychic or emotional component, suggesting a form of communication that transcends spoken language.
This perspective is mirrored in how certain tribes, such as those documented in Amazon Beaming, use psychic communication effectively, suggesting a deeper, more spiritual connection with the world.
There's substantial documentation that humans can communicate nonverbally, including through psychic means, especially in heightened states of consciousness like those induced by psychedelics. Such abilities are not just the domain of humans; they could have been present in other primates.
What are your thoughts? Could this theory help explain some of the enigmatic aspects of the Bigfoot legend?
I'm looking forward to your insights and discussions.
Thank you!
submitted by nosnevenaes to HighStrangeness [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 22:44 Ok-Log297 Is Severance the retelling of the story of Joshua???

I think a lot of Severance is really explained by how episode 2 opens. I've noticed this before, but kept forgetting to dive into it. But last night I put on episode 2 to fall asleep to, heard it again, and decided to look into it today.
So iMark shows up for work at the beginning of Ep 2 on his first full day as MDR supervisor. He's looking at the list of his new duties, he's doing all the office prep stuff, and the whole time they're playing "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" as the music.
I truly believe there are no mistakes in this show. Everything has a reason.
So as I'm falling asleep last night, all I'm hearing is the music, I'm singing along in my head and thinking about being in second grade and performing this song with my class for one of the pagents, and then thinking, once again, "why this song?"
Some background: the Battle of Jericho itself, is where they marched around the city once a day for six days, blowing their ram horns (goat reference), and on the 7th day they marched around seven times, blowing their horns until the walls crumbled and they took the city. All fine and well. But... then I started thinking, "ok, but of all the songs they could use as Mark is setting up the office, WHY that song?"
More background: Joshua was the right hand/second behind Moses. He was with Moses when God gave Moses the commandments, but not when Moses wrote them down. Then Joshua was one of the 12 spies Moses sent into Canaan to see if they could settle there, and they were all asked to keep a good tone to the reports. The job of the spies was to map the land, see what the other settlements were doing, figure out if they could be taken over, and report back on the general state of what they had (agriculture, forestry, other resources, etc). When the spies returned, 10 gave mixed or negative reports, with only Joshua and Caleb giving glowing one. Because of this, only Joshua and Caleb were promised spots in the Promised Land. After Moses died, God appointed Joshua as his successor. Joshua then started leading them into Canaan to find places to settle, and the first battle that happened was the Battle of Jericho.
So... what if Petey is our Moses, and Mark is our Joshua? And Because Mark would have been with Petey as they wandered around, they learned what the floor was like, but then Petey wrote and left the "commandments" (aka the Map) when Mark wasn't there.
So now Mark is in charge. And though Petey/Moses is alive on the outside, and giving oMark some direction before he dies (about spying!), iMark is now his full successor inside. He was appointed by the Board/Cobel (the "god" in Severance, who, by the way, iMark never heard the voice of). At this point in time, for the innies, Petey is as good as dead. And, as an aside, there ARE 12 spies, because once they decide to join with O&D, there are 12 of them! (4 in MDR + 8 total in O&D) I double checked in the scene and have a picture.
So, the questions...
  1. What is the battle of Jericho?
  2. The next is the first battle of Ai, which they lose. What is it?
  3. The first battle of Ai is lost because one of them looted JerJericho for their own personal gain, which they weren't supposed to do, and beyraybetrayed the group. So who is the betrayer here? Who gets "paid off" by the company?
  4. What will be the successful battle for Ai? (Season 2 or 3?)
I just think with all the religious stuff with Kier, Cobel, etc., and the song, "mapping the land" and the innies trying to figure out what's going on and them spying... it's too similar.
To answer some of the questions:
  1. I believe the Battle of Jericho is the innies breaching the MDR locked wall that gets installed. By the time it's installed, Petey is truly dead, so both oMark and iMark are his successor in the Moses/Joshua parallel. It's only at this point the battle could happen.
The MDE takes place, and Helly picks defiant jazz. That can symbolize the horns being played around the city walls. IIRC, the way iMark is dancing is even like a little marching step move. After Milchick leaves, the innie gang leaves MDR with Graner's keycard. The walls of Jericho have, indeed, come tumbling down! They then go and make a tentative deal to join forces with O&D, creating the full 12 spies.
  1. The battle at Ai, that they lose the first time, could be them waking up in the final episode and it being thwarted. It's not clear (yet) what/how much they accomplished. TBD
  2. The reason the first battle at Ai is unsuccessful is because someone betrayed the group at Jericho by looting. So, if this analogy holds, did someone decide to take a payoff of some sort after the first overtime contingency test in episode 9? Maybe to stay out of the breakroom? I'm not pointing fingers, but Milchick was offering a lot of new incentives to Dylan, so I guess we'll have to see?
  3. If the 1st battle of Ai was the OTC in ep 9, then the second would have to be some sort of repeat. But in Joshua's story, the second time he goes with a small contingency and confronts the leaders, I believe (who think it'll be easy to take them down). Meanwhile, the city is lost and 12,000 perish. So... are they going to wake again but have a much better plan this time???
Some additional thoughts:
• I can see iIrv, when he puts the egg in the Kier book, being one of the spies being fed up with "the word of God" and broken promises.
• When iMark takes Helly on her "mental health walk" she eventually agrees to help clean up the map. And when they're with the big O&D group, they talk about trying to find out what else is going on down there, exploring, and mapping. This was the job of the 12 spies that Moses sent into Canaan.
• Even if you think about Petey, he looks old. Like older than he should, given what we could guess his age is. And he's wandering alone, lost in his own desert (the greenhouses) for awhile.
Also, he loves the robe. After Mark takes him in, we basically only see Petey in that robe from that point forward. It just reminds me of how many different biblical stories we re-enacted in various school plays, and the boys were always in their dads' bathrobes when they played any biblical characters.
We don't know a lot about Petey's real backstory, but when he leaves Mark's house after Cobel breaks in, he goes into one of his fugue states where he can't tell the difference between reality and being on the severed floor. He's holding the map he drew, and thinks he's following that as he walks across the bridge and into town. As though he is wandering, again, in his own mind desert. And Moses wandered, alone, then died on a mountain while looking over the Promised Land. Petey, after wandering alone, walks out of the convenience store, sees Mark in the distance, and collapses. So does Mark represent, in some way, the idea of the promised land (uncovering what Lumen is really up to on the severed floor) to Petey?
(My whole point there is that Petey really does fit the idea of being the Moses in this dissection of the story, lol)
TL;DR: could Petey be Moses, Mark be Joshua, and the whole show ultimately be about trying to lead the innies and their outies to their promised land (aka the truth of what's really happening on the severed floor)?
Anyway... it seems to fit. And I can't think of another reason to choose that song, out of any song they could have picked, to play during that scene. It was the real transfer of power, when iMark truly became the new leader, taking over even the mundane tasks of leadership in this culture that signaled, to them, that iPetey was gone.
Sure, it could be a stretch. But I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts, especially anyone who might be able to dissect the biblical stories better! 😊
submitted by Ok-Log297 to SeveranceAppleTVPlus [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:42 theconstellinguist Motivations of Envy Found in the Creation of an Enemy as the Experience of Relentless Bias In Congruence with findings in "Envy and Extreme Violence"

Motivations of Envy Found in the Creation of an Enemy as the Experience of Relentless Bias In Congruence with findings in "Envy and Extreme Violence"
Crossposting audience: The bad news is there does not seem to be a cure for envy. This is congruent with the recidivism statistics of maladapted/antisocial behavior in narcissists, without which narcissism and those with NPD would not be so socially undesirable. However, there are clear signs that the circuitry of envy is noticeably different than the circuitry of admiration, and that jealousy pathways are similar to addiction and expectation of reward pathways. A neuroeconomic analysis of "I won't win this one without illegal/unethical leveling" may be occurring in the envious, showing there may be insight that could resolve what has been until this point and unresolvable emotion full of frustration and pain at the perceived inferiority these individuals suffer. It is important to study and resolve this to help protect their victims from violence, psychological, and economic abuse, theft, hostage-taking of what is critical to the envied person, and unreasonable dislike that turns into hate crime on a whim. Victims deserve protection (the envious say the opposite) and so we research. Follow this subreddit for the first research-backed subreddit on envy.
In studying the relentless bias of the sense of an enemy, a correlation to envy was found. Here, an aggressive awareness of the advantage of another fueled the sense of envy that caused them to rigidly identify more with their group to regain the advantage, hoping that in the aggressive rigidity, superiority could be reestablished through violence. Therefore, the sense of losing one’s advantage can be behind a lot of violent attack, suggesting the creation of relentless bias in the sense of an enemy is about envy and narcissism. This can explain extremely nonsensical extreme shifts in position that are simply “not being” the “enemy”; this is a maneuver to establish advantage, and explains what otherwise looks like truly insane and illogical behavior. At root is deep, deep threatenedness about losing an advantage as a group, growing rigid as that group, and then doing whatever it takes to achieve the advantage back. It has nothing to do with principle but everything to do with more lower brain processes such as ethnicism and racism.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/331983822_Deprivation_Identification_and_Extreme_Pro-Group_Behaviors_The_Political_Environment_in_Turkey
Demographic variables were controlled at the first steps. In the
sample of RPP supporters, when respondents identified more strongly
with their political party and had greater group-based deprivation
because of comparisons with other Republic of Turkey citizens, they
endorsed extreme behaviors in the interest of RPP members. But
when the respondents felt stronger group-based deprivation because
of comparisons with JDP members and stronger identification with
the Republic of Turkey citizens, they indicated greater extreme be-
havior tendency in the interest of Republic of Turkey citizen
submitted by theconstellinguist to envystudies [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:30 A_Time_Space_Person Is my understanding of the difference between frequentist and Bayesian machine learning correct?

As the question above states, I want to see if I understood the difference between frequentist and Bayesian approaches in machine learning correctly. I will use simple terms to explain my current understanding and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong somewhere.
Frequentist approach:
We are given some data with certain features. Then we use an optimization procedure to find the best hyperparameters for a particular machine learning model. Once we do find the best hyperparameters, we use them to "run inference" on other, previously unseen data samples. We can search for the best hyperparameters for different machine learning models (let's say SVM, CNN etc.), but ultimately we settle for one (I'm counting ensembles as one model as well). What I mean by this is that we essentially only have one hypothesis with one set of parameters which was learned from the data.
Bayesian approach:
Here, we "entertain" multiple hypotheses at the same time. This is different from the frequentist approach where we had one machine learning model (one hypothesis) which had only one set of the best hyperparameters - here we can have hypotheses at the same time, where each of them are assigned a certain probability. "Inference" is not run as in the frequentist case, i.e. I plug in my inputs and get some output, but rather we have to sample from whatever probability distributions we currently "have in the system" (which usually entails combining different probability distributions and the probability we assign to them of being true). So basically we "run the process" and get some output.
As I'm writing this, I have become aware of my unclarity in the sense of machine learning models, hypotheses and hyperparameters. From my understanding, a hypothesis entails both the selection of the machine learning model and the hyperparameters for that machine learning model. So when I say "one hypothesis" I mean one particular machine learning model and one particular set of hyperparameters for that particular machine learning model. When I say "multiple hypotheses", that means multiple machine learning models and also within them multiple possible set of hyperparameters, each with their own probability assigned to them (in the Bayesian case).
Is my understanding correct? If not, what is wrong?
P.S. I cross-posted this on /LearnMachineLearning
submitted by A_Time_Space_Person to MLQuestions [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 21:18 Yani-Madara List of clues that Dottore could be morally grey

-Disclaimer: This is an examination of Dottore being a complex morally grey villain that wasn't just born 100% evil, it's NOT a case that he's a good boy.-
I'll assume Zandik is Dottore since it's very likely (plus, someone tried to name their Wanderer that but it didn't work.)
Let's start with the oldest piece of lore:
-- Doctor's Pinion reveals a tragic past with unknown reasons for persecution --
When Pierro first tried to recruit Zandik / Dottore, he responded:
"Will you treat me like the Akademiya did? Will you call me a monster, a madman?" "Or will you treat me as my hometown did, and chase me away with pitchforks and clubs...?"
Some people assume the persecution was because of his experiments but it's important to note that the fact is we don't know what happened so there's a chance it wasn't something evil. That he could be chased away by "pitchforks and clubs" indicates he was weak at that point and couldn't do anything to stop it.
He also expresses a desire to merge humans with machines.
"With or without a Vision, and irrespective of their physique or combat skills,"Enhanced humans" would surely display strength far beyond the average."
This shows a desire to give power to the weak (likely including himself), even if they lack visions. Which isn't inherently a bad thing, it's just against the Akademiya's teachings. This applies even to Scaramouche, whose power had been locked by Raiden and he unlocked it.
-- Mysterious moral convictions --
Although a lot of the fandom accuses him of having no ethics or morals at all, there are several hints that this isn't the case.
He got mad at Scaramouche when told: "you only care about your crazy experiments" and told Nahida he has "his own convictions, we just don't share them" which were both conveniently not further explained. There is also the Jeht quest incident but i'll discuss it later on.
-- Eleazar hospital notes --
To briefly summarize the notes, he cured a patient using another dead patient's remains. His treatment was harsh but successful. These notes read like a Dr. House script, Dottore not giving a crap about the patient's religious beliefs included.
Abbas had a terrible ending because he had developed insanity and ran away. Zandik/ Dottore left a note warning not to let him go but it seems the staff didn't listen.
These notes align with how plague doctors were misunderstood and feared in real life. This motif was incorporated into his video game iteration, replacing the joker / clown persona.
Some people interpreted these notes as "Dottore murders and mutilates people that are alive for experiments" but there's no indication of that.
-- Aranara experiment notes --
These are the worst by far. It's unclear if the "subjects" were people with Eleazar or healthy people exposed to the withering for tests. It has to be pointed out that it seems the actions were done by his subordinates since it's likely Dottore reprimanding them at the end:
"This is a waste of resources. It is advisable to watch over the subjects' mental state in the next experiment and avoid exposing them to extreme environments... Lab Lead on duty: ████"
Yes, this sounds bad but it's proof he isn't a sadist that enjoys watching pain.
It also means he is higher in a moral standpoint than characters like Jack Horner. These type of characters don't care or enjoy deaths with the pretext of "we can always get more lackeys."
-- During the Jeht quest --
Froderock (a subordinate of Dottore) wants to capture an eremite. It is stated he is acting on his own and that Dottore gave an order not to kidnap eremites.
A note by another Fatui member states that Froderock is going to get killed for going against the order. We can theorize that the Harbinger himself would kill him. There's also a line about "following military regulations" which means his subordinates operate under a code and can't just kidnap people for experiments for the lols.
Fatui Negotiator: Professor Froderock was looking for live specimens in the desert — he always defied The Doctor's orders... That's just pure jealousy, if you ask me
...I urge you to consider, Captain Zoya, that if we are able to complete this research work in the desert, perhaps our entire expeditionary force may receive the favor of our great Harbinger... (This line has been crossed out using a red pen, and a line in red has been added: "How about you consider military regulations? Or perhaps you would like to consider how long you have left to live?")
A similar thing happened with Arlecchino in the Fortune Slip quest in Inazuma. Subordinates of her were acting on their own by following the previous Knave's teachings to make some orphans for the House.
-- *Time of Insight Artifact * --
It mentions a "mad scientist expelled by the akademia" and the text under it seems to be Dottore speaking.
The last part says:
"Those sellswords (Eremites) once did much for me. I trust they will not disappoint this time, either."
Combining Jeht quest with this makes it seem that eremites helped Dottore in some way and he is fond enough of them to slaughter a subordinate that brings them harm.
The following text seems to be Dottore's reason to want to capture Aranaras:
"The dream had to be captured — along with the inhabitants of the forest who could control dreams, To remind that friend once again of one's own form and the memories that were shared.
If the organ that governs memory has taken too much damage and cannot be healed, Then bring another old friend and dwell in dreams of the past together, Play in a small tree house, and explore the limitless depth of the jungle. Yes, that would be nice as well. For in dreams, everyone has a chance to start over."
I couldn't find more info about this "friend". It seems to be someone who suffered the effects of erosion or death, or an aranara that lost their memory.
-- Al Haitham's SQ --
Alhaitham: (To Siraj / the villain, after praising his intelligence)
"You would never let a test subject escape. Mistakes like that are beneath you, and you also won't leave any mistake without a resolution."
This is relevant because we know Dottore is canonically smarter than Siraj yet he didn't hunt down Collei (Barnabas is the one that traumatized and wanted to kill her), Abbas or Scara. It's a known thing there's a Fatui code that traitors and deserters are executed to avoid spilling secrets. Dottore leaves even Scara alone, you may argue that he was lazy but suspiciously Childe, who during Labyrinth Warriors was chasing Scara, soon appeared in Inazuma in a photo taking event, leaving for Snezhnaya, after Scara lost his gnosis.
It was never explained why Childe was chasing him to take away the Gnosis yet suddenly Scara appeared with Dottore without Childe. This is suspicious because Childe loves to fight, to the point he wanted to fight Arle while recovering on her SQ. He didn't even show up to finish off Scaramouche at the end.
To play Devil's advocate, it could also be Scaramouche is a part of some unknown plan too and nothing to do with mercy.
-- Dottore's speech to Niwa --
Taking into account Nahida's story that says: "the monster found solace in the kitten", the black bird referring to himself as "a monstrosity yet they are too foolish to see it" and Dottore's lines to Pierro:
"Will you call me a monster, a madman?"
Dottore sees himself as an inhuman monster. It puts into question if the following line wasn't just about Scaramouche and is actually a metaphor of Dottore speaking about his past:
"Escher: Even without you, that pure, innocent puppet would only end up being used by someone else instead. What other reason would a human have for befriending one who is not of our kind?"
Although Dottore refers to himself as "human", the two lines I quoted previously contradict this. Mentally he sees himself as not human (to the point of finding solace in a living puppet), even though his words say otherwise. There is also a chance this Dottore was no longer human at all, the Nahida story shows the monster bird had tiny floating birds around, even though he hadn't studied Scaramouche to create the segments.
There is also a stark contrast between Dottore joining the Fatui expresing concern over been rejected again yet he is embracing his monster persona in the Niwa scene.
"Escher: Think of me as a monster or a demon, if you wish... "
It could be a sign of a person with trauma who steered into an evil path. Kept getting called a monster until he accepted it.
There could be many reasons for the change, besides being used, -incoming pure speculation- he could have experimented on himself to have less emotions or taking this quote into account: "everyone has a chance to start over in dreams" he believes he can commit atrocities and it won't matter because he plans to do a reset somehow.
" The Doctor: Jester, I have completed the task you gave me. Creating a gap and infiltrating Inazuma's inner workings... Heh, what fun it was. The Doctor: I'd like to introduce a puppet to you. If he proves useful, let's make him our newest comrade. And if not... let's turn him to dust."
The bold part is more clues of either future Scara related scheming or Dottore's words are an act, mercy was shown when he became useless. It also seems that Pierro stirred him into a darker path.
I wouldn't say it's confirmation that Pierro is pure evil because we barely know anything about him, there's a chance it was for some greater good since that's a trend with the Harbingers.
-- Possible Sohreh murder --
At first glance, it seems way too obvious that Zandik did it, it's like watching a murder mystery movie and the first suspect is a red herring.
Since people frequently incorrectly state: "Dottore murdered a girl while they were having a picnic" like a fact, I'm going to make a deep dive into these notes:
First there is no clear motive for him killing Sohreh. (Niwa had a purpose.)
attack of Rishboland Tigers. In need of first aid..."
The bold part implies she was still alive while Zandik was dealing with the Ruin Guard. The broken bone didn't happen during the picnic while he was alone with her. She was declared dead and buried after the attack, she could have been killed during it while everyone was distracted.
-Does the Akademiya think that Zandik is responsible?-
There is a message board that says he was investigated over her murder.
The lack of motive combined with Zandik only receiving negative consequences from saving the team makes me think he was framed and acted on impulse / emotion when saving them or he turned it on to spook the tigers and it accidentally killed her.
Why? He could have just ran away and let everyone die to not reveal he was hiding ruin guard knowledge. Which he expressed on the notes that he didn't want the rest to know:
"I am going to take them (Ruin guards) apart, and record the size and shape one by one...
...But first of all, this secret must not be revealed to the other team members..."
...Thank goodness, Zandik reacted quickly. Otherwise, the whole team would be in serious trouble..."
-Some people argue that "running away and letting everyone die would have been too suspicious so he saved them."
It's more likely he was just a weak regular human at that point in his life so it wouldn't have been too suspicious to run away / he actually risked his life to shut it down.-
The 2 burned notes both state: "Someone seems to have burnt the contents in a hurry" it could have been the person trying to frame him. One of them is a note about the Ruin Guards and has Zandik's signature, they may have wanted to steal credit of his research.
-Regarding who framed Dottore, u/Sandflow_23 commented an excellent theory
lt seems Zandik didn't care much about Sohreh's death since he proceeded to ask the team to take back the Ruinguard while she was bleeding but the Eleazar hospital notes come after this incident. Was this his first instance of curing people?
Did being unable to save someone influence him in some way? It may just be coincidental but it's worth taking note. I'm trying to look at all possibilities.
People usually see Sohreh's note as "she learned Dottore's secret so he murdered her" But something I haven't seen discussed is how there is also a chance he trusted her and decided to open up to people more. Previously he said studying Ruinguards could get him kicked out but after the following note by Sohreh, he decided to try to convince his team to take back the ruin guard:
"...Zandik was attracted by the ancient machines left behind by some civilization here...
We had a great time and decided to go on a picnic tonight..."
Finally, to play Devil's Advocate: it seems he also had another secret mission that was never explained.
"...It's a shame that documents regarding its (the giant golem's) energy supply systems have been lost, and I have far too important a mission to accomplish to afford to start from scratch. If not..."
He could have killed her because she learned that secret but it's still weird that he'd go and choke her with people focused on him speaking about Ruinguard studies.
-- Arle SQ --
Lyney said "he proposed the direction of the research " for the bottled flames. That he wants to give people "a chance to start over" was also hinted in Time of Insight artifact. I won't be surprised if it turns out most of the injured kids he took from Crucabena are actually fine. The Eremites, which he didn't want his subordinates to kidnap, were also healthy, so this is another instance of him seeking to work with weak people to give them power. I'm NOT denying there's a chance he wants to use it for some other plan like burning the tree like other Redditors have proposed
Finally, there remains the question of which Dottore would be playable. I predict the original or Omega. (Knocking off the angelic new segment theory)
We don't know if the original is alive, since Raiden destroyed her physical body (and the segments were based on Scaramouche) he could be dead BUT giving a kill switch to Omega may have a deeper meaning. Like those fragments of his mind from dead segments will re-materialize in an empty segment or object his soul is bound to or go back to Omega and change his personality, the former sounds like FullMetal Alchemist but a Remuria quest confirms this is a thing in Genshin.
Finally done, sorry if this is ridiculously long but I wanted to provide quotes to sustain the arguments, especially since some people hate him so much based on mostly misinformation.
submitted by Yani-Madara to FatuiHQ [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:59 ThrowRA_Sodi Soon , I will have my blood tested but I'm terrified of needles. Any tips to not have a panic attack ? I'd also like if someone could explain me how the sampling will go

Is the needle big ? How deep does it needs to go ? How long does it last ?
submitted by ThrowRA_Sodi to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:46 A_Time_Space_Person Have I understood the difference between frequentist and Bayesian approaches in machine learning correctly?

As the question above states, I want to see if I understood the difference between frequentist and Bayesian approaches in machine learning correctly. I will use simple terms to explain my current understanding and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong somewhere.
Frequentist approach:
We are given some data with certain features. Then we use an optimization procedure to find the best hyperparameters for a particular machine learning model. Once we do find the best hyperparameters, we use them to "run inference" on other, previously unseen data samples. We can search for the best hyperparameters for different machine learning models (let's say SVM, CNN etc.), but ultimately we settle for one (I'm counting ensembles as one model as well). What I mean by this is that we essentially only have one hypothesis with one set of parameters which was learned from the data.
Bayesian approach:
Here, we "entertain" multiple hypotheses at the same time. This is different from the frequentist approach where we had one machine learning model (one hypothesis) which had only one set of the best hyperparameters - here we can have hypotheses at the same time, where each of them are assigned a certain probability. "Inference" is not run as in the frequentist case, i.e. I plug in my inputs and get some output, but rather we have to sample from whatever probability distributions we currently "have in the system" (which usually entails combining different probability distributions and the probability we assign to them of being true). So basically we "run the process" and get some output.
As I'm writing this, I have become aware of my unclarity in the sense of machine learning models, hypotheses and hyperparameters. From my understanding, a hypothesis entails both the selection of the machine learning model and the hyperparameters for that machine learning model. So when I say "one hypothesis" I mean one particular machine learning model and one particular set of hyperparameters for that particular machine learning model. When I say "multiple hypotheses", that means multiple machine learning models and also within them multiple possible set of hyperparameters, each with their own probability assigned to them (in the Bayesian case).
Is my understanding correct? If not, what is wrong?
P.S. I cross-posted this on /MLQuestions
submitted by A_Time_Space_Person to learnmachinelearning [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 20:43 CDown01 J.'s Journals: The Lieutenant

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
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2024.05.21 20:42 CDown01 J.'s Journals: The Lieutenant

Previous Entry
Writing these things has made me realize how different I sound these days. Back when all this started I’m not sure I even spoke English and I certainly didn’t speak like I do now but to be honest, I don’t remember. Trying to recall things to write has made me realize exactly how many little things I’ve forgotten over the years. The sights, the sounds, all those fade into the background of most events.
Even something as visceral as Archer’s basement still takes me a while to recall clearly. I wonder if it’s more than just my long life, we do age after all. I mentioned before that sunlight is not deadly to vampires like myself but very unpleasant, that and it makes us more normal. In the sun I won’t be as strong as I would be in the dark and by my assessment I age in the sun as well. Not any faster than a normal person but I do age, its why I don’t still look like that little boy stuck in Paris anymore.
I did spend quite some time in Paris before I left or rather, escaped. I’m not sure I ever would have left if not for the war. I didn’t have many friends there save for other… I’m not sure what to call them… entities? Whatever you want to cal it I had some friends in the more supernatural parts of the city. A vampire named Belle had become a sort of mother figure to me over the years spent there.
I met her by chance one night as I sated myself in an alley. I was ready to fight but she just laughed and flashed her own fangs at me, ridiculing me for being so careless. It was under her wing where I learned everything I know now about vampires. It’s where I realized not all vampires endure sunlight as well as I do, if anything that one trait is what’s most unique about me according to her. But thats not the story I want to tell on these pages tonight. I want to tell the story of lieutenant Marsh and the real beginnings of the organization that would become Chimera.
When war came to Paris that summer I was unprepared. I never expected the war to spiral out of hand so quickly or for it to force me out of my home. I was with Belle and a few more of her friends whose names escape me waiting out the worst of it and hoping things would blow over in the city soon. Obviously we were completely misguided, it was that sense of invulnerability again just the same as when I was a boy. The world was our playground and nothing could hurt us. It didn’t help that in some ways I really was invulnerable and it went straight to my head.
Only flashes of my memory from that day remain. I remember the nazi soldier kicking in the door and firing at Belle’s friends. I remember the screaming that abruptly ended in a single gunshot. I remember the trail of blood leading to her friends body where it lay staked to the ground in the sun. We heal fast, not instantly but much faster than a human. Put us in sunlight though, and we’re just as fragile as a normal person. It was the first time I’d seen someone with abilities like ours die and it made me feel mortal again for the first time in decades.
The rest of the day is a disjointed blur. Belle and I fled the city, I blank out on the specifics of it but we made it out with some difficulty. After that we hunkered down for the night in a rickety old shack. I remember wanting to push on through the day but Belle protested, she didn’t deal with the sun as well as I did. When night finally fell we fled to the coast and managed to catch a ship heading towards the United States.
The trip was unpleasant to say the least, neither of us made good stowaways. We weren’t living life in the lap of luxury before by any means but we lived comfortably. This was a far cry from what we were used to in Paris and the welcome we received was even worse. Apparently fleeing for your own survival is a crime, both of us were separated and sent to prison on our arrival to the states for stowing away on the ship.
That was the last time I ever saw Belle, I get letters from her every now and then but I haven’t seen her in person since. She does well for herself, works in D.C. as a sort of handler for the supernatural. Regrettably she does work with Chimera, says they have the best interests at heart for the supernatural but she doesn’t see what I see out here. She doesn’t know the part I played in its creation, what it really stood for in the beginning. Chimera tends to kill first these days rather than actually try to help or give the supernatural some kind of place in the world. I think thats why I haven’t been to visit her, I just don’t want to argue with a friend as old as her. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone knows she’s a vampire. I doubt they’d take that very well, she’d probably lose her position. They must have suspicions though because theres no way she’d be able to get letters to me without Baelen knowing about it. Every few months they keep showing up though and I always make sure to write her back.
Anyways I’m getting off topic, back to my story. I was in prison for months until an offer came my way, serve the rest of my sentence or enlist in the army and be a free man when I came back, if I came back. Of course I took the offer, I didn’t realize how suspicious that deal sounded at the time but it actually played out exactly as they said. I also didn’t have much of a choice in the matter either. It was hard to get my hands on any blood when I was almost constantly under watch and I could feel the effects it was having on me. I figured it would be best to get a change of scenery.
The next week I was off to training then not long after, we shipped out to the trenches and met the commander of the platoon I’d been assigned to. That’s the first time I met Lieutenant Johnson Marsh and what a man he was. That first day I was convinced I’d never see a smile ever again, the trenches were a horrible depressing place. But there Marsh was, laughing and smiling and just generally enjoying life with the rest of the platoon. He was either crazy or stupid, thats what my first thoughts about him were. I remember those clearly even today but I couldn’t have been more wrong. If anything he may have turned out to be one of the smartest men I ever knew.
The first few weeks were spent holding our position from the germans. It was brutal but I found I was a decent shot with the rifle I was given. Marsh on the other hand spent those weeks barking orders at us and keeping us in line. He never used a rifle like most of the soldiers used. Instead he kept a Beretta m9 with him at all times. That weapon was the only one I ever saw him use. I remember the name only because he was so found of explaining everything there was to know about the gun to me whenever I questioned him about it. You could immediately recognize the pistol as his by its strange grip. One side of it had a picture of an idyllic scene of a manor house in the middle of a sprawling field. The other had a painting of a woman, his wife I’d guess but he never actually told me if that was there case. He seemed to spend the nights staring with longing at each side of the artistic grip.
I’d never really had a family, even with Belle I’d always felt like I was a bit of an outsider. There was so much I didn’t know about how normal people lived. Even though I’d had friends in Paris we were always kind of hidden away in our own personal corner. There was this separation between us and normal life, even between the other supernaturals in the area.
Here I felt like I was part of something though. Sure I was still lost but so was everyone else, we could be lost together and Marsh would always set us straight in the end. There was something about the man, some piece of him that just understood what we were all going through. He expected a lot from us but he was never unreasonable and several times even argued with command on our behalf when ridiculous orders came our way. I actually wanted to serve with him. The rest of the platoon wasn’t bad but they’d all been given the same deal as me. They were all just there to get out of prison. I’m still not sure what Marsh’s story was, he always kept that to himself but any of us would’ve taken a bullet for that man.
Our first real assignment came maybe three months into my period of indentured service. Our platoon was tasked with rescuing a captured American scientist and capturing a German scientist. The scientists in question were Frank Smith and Stein Hoffman and no, the irony of those names is not lost on me, fits the two of them though. I’m sure doctor Frankenstein wishes he was successful as those two. But before those orders could be acted on we had to overtake a German trench surrounding the compound they were staying in.
That fight was bloody and we lost several good men in the chaos. At one point a trench gun was shoved into my arms and I launched myself into the German trench. I wouldn’t be surprised if ghost stories are still passed around of what I did that day. After I made my way over and into the German trench I lashed out with all I had. Moving with superhuman speed and lashing out with both the bayonet affixed to my gun and my fangs, I fell upon the Germans. They stood little chance as I tore into them and all by my lonesome I ensured we’d face no more resistance.
Marsh was the first over into the now silent trench, I’m glad it was him because I’m not sure anyone else would’ve understood like him. I was holding the German officer to the trench wall, fangs buried in his neck as I fed when I heard footsteps behind me. I dropped him and turned to see Marsh staring questioningly at me. I must’ve been a sight to see, blood dripping from my mouth and covering my bullet torn uniform. Marsh steadied himself for a moment and shouted back to the rest of the platoon,
“Boys hold up a second! Just get down and stay up there a minute won’tcha!”
All of a sudden he took a step forward and a well mannered grin took its usual place on his lips.
“Though You didn’t care for sauerkraut J.?”
The joke stunned me, I fully expected him to shoot me then and there, put me down like the abomination I must’ve looked like to him.
“Lieutenant I…”
But Marsh raised his hands to cut me off.
“Command’d probably want me to shoot’cha, hell maybe I aught’a but I don’t think it’d be right. You seem decent, little odd sure but you’ve got heart, I see it in the way you look out for the boys. Plus I always figured there was some’n off about you. The way you stay out’a the light always seem a little faster and stronger than anyone got the right to be just didn’t figure it’d be…. That.”
Marsh told me pointing to the punctures in the officers neck.
“Thank you lieutenant, Could we keep this between us though sir?”
“Drop the formalities J. Jesus! We’re all friends here.”
“I just don’t want the others to know, they may not be as understanding as you.”
“No can do, but you can tell em’ yourself. Alright men, get on down here!”
In all my years I’d never had to explain myself to anyone up until that point. I guess that day my number was up but I never knew just how understanding people, normal people could be. I’d always lived around the supernatural in Paris, didn’t interact much with the normal people I saw in the streets every day, I didn’t have to. I’d always assumed there was a reason for that but in the moment I realized there wasn’t, not really. I’d just avoided normal people because I feared what they’d think if it came out that I wasn’t like them.
Of course There were some of the men that objected to… what I was. Most of them took after Marsh though. They didn’t really care what I was, I’d proven to them I was a good person and thats all that mattered. I just wish they’d been right about me back then because the truth was I still hadn’t learned to care, not really. Even the ones who objected came around eventually and that night Marsh finally came clean to me about why exactly he was so accepting.
According to him he’d always assumed there was more out there, things beyond human that lived on the fringes of society. Even he always thought he sounded crazy. I was the proof he needed to convince himself he wasn’t. Marsh also told me what we were really doing with the scientists. Both Frank and Stein researched the supernatural, their projects were as secret as secret could be. Marsh’s interests and theories, as personal as he tried to keep them showed up in his file somewhere. The higher ups had handpicked him for this mission because of it. The official story was that Frank had been captured but in reality he defected to further his own research with a like minded individual. Our mission was really to force Frank back into the fold and take Stein along with him.
The more he talked the more I could tell his heart was fully committed to this mission and the final assault tomorrow. I’d never seen someone so… alive. In my extremely long life I don’t think Id ever felt that kind of conviction myself. So I promised him I’d have his back tomorrow no matter what.
Morning broke and with it our assault began. Intel on the German defenses was shoddy at best but we never expected what we’d actually run into. At least three times our number acted as guards so a distraction was in order to give us a window of entry. A few of the men would handle the distraction “however they saw fit” to quote Marsh. Then Marsh and I would make our way into the compound itself and the rest of the platoon would cover us.
For what its worth most of the plan went off without a hitch. A tremendous explosion signaled Marsh and I to press the advantage and rush the confused soldiers that lay in front of us. Some actually turned and ran from me, apparently word of my stunt in the trenches yesterday had spread quickly. The rest of the platoon followed behind us but then our luck ran out with the roar of an engine.
An honest to god panzer tank rolled out of a tunnel we hadn’t seen that ran under the compound and turned its barrel towards us. I almost didn’t hear the blast from how slow time seemed to move. But move it did as the explosion of the shell’s impact scattered bodies left and right. The shell impacted behind us but the sheer force of the blast threw Marsh and I to the ground, knocking us unconscious.
When I slowly came to my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. A man dressed in red priestly robes with a matching red top hat was walking between the bodies. When he approached one that groaned out with agony he’d kneel down and whisper things I couldn’t hear to them, after that he’d snap his fingers. sometimes the person he was talking with would disappear other times they would fall silent and sometimes it didn’t appear that anything happened at all.
Just the sight of the man terrified me and I wasn’t sure why. It was an instinctual reaction, the second I lay eyes on him I froze up and ice cold fear crept its way up my spine. When people accuse me of being the devil this man is who I think of. Even today I’m not sure what it is he does or why. What I do know is that he never looks the same. I’ve seen him appear as male, female, even as an animal on a few occasions but I can always tell. The second I’m near him no matter what he looks like the same old feeling comes over me.
Once my vision had finally focused in on the man he seemed to notice without ever looking at me. I blinked and suddenly he was there, kneeling over me.
“Would you like to live.”
He rasped down at me with a voice that seemed to boom around me no matter how quiet it must’ve actually been. I felt like a child again, staring at Archer for the first time. I’d never really had to fear death before but here I was, sure I was about to meet my end right here. In all honestly I wasn’t injured all that bad, I probably could’ve survived with or without this man help. But something told me that if I said no he’d make sure I would die right here.
“Ye…y… yes”
I stuttered out, barley able to form the words through the pain that stabbed throughout my body.
“You will be my instrument for one night at a time of me choosing.”
The man replied. I stayed silent as I stared into his eyes, trying to determine if the sunglasses he wore were tinted or if his eyes really did burn with an infernal red light. The man cocked his head as if waiting for a response to his question. I’m not sure if question was the right word though, there wasn’t much of a choice for me.
Looking back there was always a choice, maybe I could’ve survived on my own merits, found another way. In the years to come I’d wish I just said no, even if it would’ve cost me my life. But thats not what happened. I nodded and the deal maker snapped his fingers. As soon as he had dark clouds flooded the sky and blocked out the sun, allowing my body to begin repairing itself. The man moved on to where Marsh’s body lay and probably made him the same deal as I felt my body healing. Despite that, my consciousness faded again as I strained to try and hear what the man would say to Marsh.
We never actually discussed the man at all. Not then and not in the years since. Maybe that was all an unspoken part of Marsh’s deal. Maybe both of us just wished that man was nothing more than a waking dream, a vivid hallucination. Whatever the case neither of us ever mentioned that man to each other.
The next time I woke up I was chained to a table next to Marsh. We had been captured and brought before the very scientists we were here to apprehend. There were guards around but they all seemed to be waiting for some kind of order. I was certainly surprised when that order came in perfect English, even more surprised when the order was to let us down so we could talk.
Frank and Stein ended up being quite reasonable people. The two let us stay in relative comfort in the compound as long as we agreed to stay and leave them to their work. That was all the convincing it took for me. I understand that the men I’d served with were all dead and that these two were in some way responsible. Maybe that should’ve bothered me more, today it certainly would’ve. Back then I didn’t think the same way, they accepted me for what I was but only briefly, only out of respect for Marsh. What did the lives of people I’d known for so short a time really matter? Writing this now just makes me realize how cold I was before, I didn’t care for anything beyond myself. I’d made no efforts to find Belle since we were separated and how long had I known her, 100 years, more? I may have pretended I cared but when push came to shove I simply tried to make sure I survived.
Marsh wasn’t as cold as me, in fact he almost immediately reached for where his pistol should’ve been when he was unchained. It took Frank, Stein, and myself weeks to convince him that helping would be the right decision. He didn’t like it at first but little by little I think the scientists grew on him. The guards I’d seen our first day here seemed to thin out the longer we stayed. Wether that was a gesture of trust or simply because they were needed for more important duties I don’t know but it certainly eased Marsh’s mind.
I merely observed the scientists most of the time until Stein asked me for a sample of my blood. It didn’t surprise me that he knew what I was but for obvious reasons I was hesitant to give it to him, especially considering what I’d seen so called doctors do with vampire blood. Eventually he wore me down and I gave let him take a sample just to shut him up. After that I became more involved in their research though not by choice. They had me showcasing my abilities and tested the effects of sunlight on my blood. On a few rare occasions Stein even injected it into other prisoners that were brought in, something I put a stop to very quickly. T
hat sample of blood is why Frank and Stein are still around today. Somehow they managed to isolate whatever part of my DNA allows me to age so much slower than a normal person. They took that and spliced it into their own DNA against my recommendations. The crazy thing was it actually worked. Sure they had a newfound appreciation for rare steaks but beyond that I didn’t notice any of the effects that combining vampire DNA with your own would usually have.
As Marsh and I assisted the scientist’s research however we could we both came to the realization that they needed each other to function. Stein lacked a moral compass and was prone to suggest unethical or risky procedures, sometimes going so far as to carry them out without informing Frank. Frank on the other hand preferred caution in everything he did and sometimes I noticed him personally taking and shredding requests Stein had written for test subjects, hazardous materials, or samples from supernatural entities. The two kept a very delicate dance of checks and balances. Stein ever the daring mad scientist and Frank always playing the role of overly cautious genius.
Marsh and Frank got along extremely well near the end. The two would be up at all hours of the night as Frank explained what kind of things really existed in the world. Marsh always shared these ideas of a world where the supernatural and the normal could live together and I think Frank shared that vision. It wasn’t possible, still isn’t but treating the supernatural as something other than monsters couldn’t possibly be a bad thing. I think thats where the idea of the Bureau of Supernatural Affairs really came from, those talks Marsh had with anyone who would listen.
Overtime one of our favorite conversations was what we would do when the war was over and we could leave this compound. Stein wasn’t sure he would, if his research wasn’t going to a man who’d simply use it to cause more conflict he wouldn’t mind staying. Frank wanted to return home, if that was even possible and he asked if Stein would join him. Those two had also become close friends through our months in the lab. That checks and balances relationship they had made them basically inseparable. Marsh’s answer surprised me though, he said he wanted to get out of the military and start a program, something to help the supernatural live closer to normal lives. At least keep tabs on them so that the quality of their lives might improve. I was stunned, I couldn’t believe he’d throw his career away just to chase this pipe dream of his. I didn’t even know Marsh was concerned with that kind of thing. I didn’t have an answer of my own so I said I’d join Marsh and help with this program idea of his. Actually, even Frank and Stein seemed to agree with Marsh’s way of thinking. Little did we know the war would end less than a month after our talk and we’d all get the chance to actually put Marsh’s little idea to the test.
Once the Americans had come and discovered the compound pretty much abandoned aside from us we were all taken prisoner and shipped back to America. We were all interrogated and they either heard what they wanted to hear, or decided anyone we’d talk to about our experiences would assume we were just crazy. We were released back into society under constant surveillance. They even gave us a sizable home in D.C., it was certainly bugged to its core but thats exactly what we wanted.
Through the next year we used Frank and Steins knowledge and my supernatural nature to track down entities all over the country. We made sure that everything was discussed and planned out in the house. That way however was listening knew exactly what we were doing and how successful it was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, some entities would rather we didn’t know about them. Others were naturally aggressive but some we were actually able to help.
Our escapades as a group of four didn’t last much past the first year. Mostly because our master plan of using the bugs worked perfectly. Ol’ uncle Sam had been listening in and wanted his chance at calling the shots but it meant we became a legitimate organization, the BSA. Technically the acronym was already taken but no one ever complained and Marsh never came up with anything better.
We spent 4 years doing everything we could to improve the lives of supernatural beings everywhere. Not every one of our endeavors was a success but we did some good in the world. One such project was blood banks for vampires. While the blood that gets donated is used for transfusions and the like some was put into cold storage for the BSA. That got distributed to vampires who had come to an agreement with us to stop hunting humans for blood. Some vampires were even selected for jobs at these blood banks, under the supervision of BSA agents of course.
The more human supernaturals like werewolves, vampires, and succubi even used us to find jobs in the world. We made in roads for the supernatural in daily life because of it. Werewolves would use their strength for government construction. Vampire’s long lives made them excellent archivists or history teachers because they actually been there for those events. A succubus’s ability to understand and control someones emotions and reactions made them excellent therapists and conflict deescalation specialists. Those are just some of the fields we managed to get the supernatural involved in. While they usually had to hide their natural they were wildly successful.
Everything went well until that fourth year when I first met Baelen. He was headstrong from the beginning, the powers that be were grooming him for leadership. He was everything they wanted, he followed orders and didn’t question things to much. In short, he was the perfect solution to the inconvenience the four of us caused running the organization as we saw fit. But baleen had a mean streak, he didn’t want to protect the supernatural so much as he wanted to put them in their place. Unfortunately a lot of the research we provided had scared pretty much everyone above us who had never even entertained the idea of the supernatural until now. That meant Baelen’s ideas of monitoring and segregating the supernatural population were popular. So popular that suggesting culling their numbers to keep them in check and under the thumb of the BSA was an idea they actually entertained. That sentiment caught on and our orders became more and more militant.
Every time we disregarded them to do things the way we had envisioned the consequence grew steeper. Eventually Frank, Stein, Marsh, and I just couldn’t stand to see what our BSA had become so we left. We couldn’t do anything else to stop what was coming from the inside, no point in going down with the ship.
After that Baelen quickly ended up heading the whole operation. He still took orders directly from government officials and when the BSA became part of homeland security it became Chimera division. Why they chose such a stupid name I’ll never know but the organization was a shadow of its former self. Before we looked out for the supernatural, tried to help. Under Baelen Chimera just exists to monitor the supernatural and “correct” any issues uncle Sam decides to have with them. They’re glorified enforcers that don’t give a damn how the supernatural actually have it. That’s not to say some good people don’t work for them, people like Belle and even Marsh’s own daughter as far as I’m aware.
It sickens me to think I was a part of it though, for all the good we did maybe it would’ve been better if Johnson Marsh’s pipe dream would’ve stayed just that. I can do a lot but I can’t change the past so I guess we’ll never know. A while ago I heard that something had happened in a little nowhere town out in New Mexico. Pretty much dropped off the face of the Earth. The only reason I even heard about it was through Belle’s letters. Apparently Chimera had to do some huge cover up job and decided it was better if the town just never existed. Maybe I should go myself and see if I can’t piece what happened together. Could be that someone else out there has it in for Chimera and is a whole lot more direct about it than me. I’m just imaging it was some runaway experiment Frank and Stein got up to. I wonder where those two ended up, I’ll have to check up on them sometime. This journal writing is digging up a lot of memories for me but thats probably a good thing. Write them down before I forget again. I think that’ll be all for today then, why do I keep addressing these like someone’s reading them? Not much point to that is there?
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