Act 1 Scene 1
Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bedroom - Morning
Edd (In sleep bed) SNORE, SNORE, SNORE- (EDD’S face is sprayed with Cola) I SUREDDER! (Looks around room) Oh.
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment room - Closet - Morning (Edd Choses which Hoodie to wear) [Hoodies references to different Hoodie designs] (Picks his Modern Hoodie design)
(Cut to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Bathroom Edd (Grabs toothbrush) (Zooms in to show that's it’s Cola flavored) (Brushes teeth) (Grabs cup of Cola) (Gurgles it) (Spits it out) (Makes a big wide smile showing his horrible teeth)
(Cut to) Edd Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Kitchen - Morning (Edd takes bacon in a Oven) (Puts it on a plate) (Edd sits at his table) (Holds up fork and spoon and licks his lips before shoving the entire plate into his mouth) NOM, NOM, NOM MM! The plate is always the best part! Act 1 Scene 2
(Transition to) Int. Edd's Apartment Room - Living Room - Morning Edd (Sits on couch) Ah.. it is a good day to watch Return of the Insane Zombeh Pirates from Hell 4! SLAM (The door goes as MATT and TOM come in)
Matt (Overlapping Tom) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I FOUND THIS GUY AND HE SOLD ME CRACK SO I GAVE IT TO A TWO YEAR OLD THEN IT STARTED TO-
Tom (Overlapping Matt) BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH I PULLED AND PULLED BUT IT WOULDN'T COME OUT, SO I GOT A PLANT AND STARTED SAYING NEVER GONNA GIVE-
Edd SHUT UP! (Matt and Tom look at each other) What is it…
Matt He broke mirror #1028!
Tom Nuh Uh!
Edd (Sigh) Tom, did you break the mirror?
Tom No!
Matt Liar, Liar, Dance on Pliers!
Tom (re: notice) Uh, Edd I found this by your door. (Hands to Edd)
Edd (Grabs) Blah, Blah, Blah. Your landlord will require possession of your apartment in 16 days, if rent is not paid! Oh no, I can't afford to paid rent!
Tom Don't worry- well actually do worry bc we all got it.
Matt Can't we mooch off of that crackhead down the street again?
Tom I’ve run out of crack to give to him, and I don't got enough to buy any either.
Edd Can't we get a job?
Tom Don’t you remember what happened last time we got a job!
Edd Oh yeah, we got fired for “immaturity, and irresponsible” or whatever bogus they said.
Matt We’re perfectly mature! They have to have a screw loose!
Tom One time I agree with you Matt. Right Edd… Edd?
Edd (Face plants onto couch) It’s hopeless…
Tom Come on Edd, things could be better!
Edd Do you mean worse?
Tom No, I meant better.
Matt Yeah, you could be friends with a stupid, narcissist and an unsupportive, alcoholic.
Edd (Annoyed, or disappointed face) Well… I guess- TOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Tom (Standing on a chair with a hanging rope hanging from the ceiling fan) Who’s going second bc I'm going first.
Edd Tom, we promised to commit suicide when we get kids!
Tom Oh yeah.
Edd Tom, do you remember that safe in our old house?
Tom Yeah, the one that we left behind when it got destroyed?
Edd Yeah, that one. I was thinking we could go back and break into it. There’s bound to be some cash left in there.
Matt But what if the cops catch us?
Tom Relax, Matt. We’ll make sure no one sees us.
Edd We’ll go at night and make sure to cover our tracks.
Edd But we have no mask- (Tom, Matt are suddenly in Goofy Villain outfit) Edd Where did you even get those
Matt Dumpster!
Edd There's no way I'm wearing one of those! Act 1 Scene 3
(Cuts To) Ext. Old House - Backyard
The three friends stand in the backyard, wearing their goofy villain outfits, as Edd adjusts his costume with annoyance.
Edd (Cont'D) "This is ridiculous. I can't believe you two made me wear this."
Matt (Excitedly) "You look great! We're like the Three Stooges of crime!"
Tom (Grinning) "Yeah, but instead of just being fools, we're gonna be rich fools!”
Edd Matt did you cover our tracks?
Matt Yeah, look. (Shows an path of purple path leading right up to their location)
Tom Matt you know when I said I hated you?
Matt Yeah?
Tom I DIDN'T LIE!
Matt Aw...
Edd "Alright, let's just get this over with. We break into the safe, grab the cash, and get out. Simple enough."
Tom (Cocky) "Piece of cake, guys. We're professional criminals now."
Matt (Excitedly) "We're going to be rich!"
(The friends approach the safe and begin trying to open it.)
Edd Uh, does anyone remember the code?
Tom Not me!
Edd Matt?
(Camera pans to Matt admiring a picture of himself)
Matt I thought I lost you forever baby (Matt says as kissing it)
Edd
Tom(drunk) My idea is to blow up an orphanage!
Edd How do you get drunk off of Smirnoff in 4 seconds!?
Tom(drunk) Idk ask the unicorn in the sky!
Edd (Sigh) I'm going home.
As Edd turns to leave, Tom comes to his senses.
Tom "Guys, hang on. What if we try a brute force attack? Like, really give it a good ol' college try?"
Edd (Sarcastically) “Oh yes, because that's so much better than blowing up an orphanage.”
Tom (Ignoring the comment) “Just hear me out. We all know that safes have a maximum number of combination attempts before they lock us out. So, what if we just brute force it?”Edd But what brute force would... (Edd's eyes spark up with an idea, and a devious smile form's on his face)
Tom So... what's the idea?
Edd (Raises his eyebrows)
Tom I don't speak eyebrows?
Matt (Raises eyebrows)
Tom What!?
Edd (Overlapping Matt) THROW TOM!
Matt (Overlapping Edd) THROW TOM!
Tom Did I ever tell yall I HATE ALL OF YOU!As Matt and Edd start shoving Tom towards the safe, he starts resisting and shouting obscenities at them.
Tom (Yelling) "What the hell is wrong with you guys?! I'm not a goddamn battering ram!"
Matt (Laughing) "Oh come on, it'll be fine! What's the worst that could happen?"
Edd (Shoving Tom) "Just go with it, Tom. You'll thank us later."
Tom (Reluctantly) "Fine, but if I break anything, I'm suing you two.”(Edd and Matt lift Tom over their head and chuck him head first into the safe making a extremely loud smash)
Edd See Tom, that wasn't so bad!
Tom I think broke one of my hair bones
Matt Is it open?
Edd Nope. It's dented tho!Edd Still dented.
Matt Again-
(The gang hear police sirens)
Matt OH NO I'M TOO PRETTY TO GO TO JAIL!
(The police pull up and get out of the cop car with gun)
Cop 1 PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
(The entire gang puts their hands up with a ton of Matt's pictures falling out of his clothes)
(The police officers look confused as they witness the sight in front of them.*)
Officer 1 (Perplexed) “What the hell happened here?”
Matt (Innocently) “We were just trying to break into a safe. No big deal.” Act 1 Scene 4 Int. Cop Car - Midnight
Tom (Drowsy) “Why do my eyelids feel like heavy rocks…?”
Matt (Looking confused) “Hey, does anyone else smell pickles?”
Edd (Snickering) I knew I shouldn't have put on pickle deodorant!
Cop 1 (Driving) “Quiet, back there!”
Edd (Mumbling) Sorry Angry Mcgee!
Matt (Whisper) Pss, Edd!
Edd What?
Matt Get this! (Quickly throws a picture to Edd with his mouth)
Edd What is- Holy S**t I thought I lost this forever!
Camera pans down to show Edd, Matt, and Tom when they first moved in, including a old friend named Tord)*As the camera pans down to the picture, we see a glimpse of a time long ago. Three friends – Edd, Matt, and Tom – are laughing and smiling, with a fourth boy, Tord, standing beside them. They're holding balloons and standing in front of a house they recently moved into. Act 1 Scene 5
(Transition to) Jail - Cell - Midnight
Edd TOM! I'M DYING HELP ME!
Edd is dramatically lying on his back, holding an empty Cola can, pretending to have a heart attack. Meanwhile, Tom is sitting on a bunk bed and rolls his eyes.
Tom (Sarcastically) “Oh, yes, because your Cola addiction is definitely the biggest concern here. Not us being thrown in jail overnight.”
Edd OH WOE IS ME!
Edd writhes around on the bed in despair, while Tom just sits there, clearly agitated by Edd's melodrama.
Tom "Edd, you've been going on about your cola running out for hours now. Can you give it a rest, please?"
Edd (Frantically) "You don't understand, Tom! My cola was my life! How am I supposed to survive here without it?"
Tom (Tired) "Perhaps you should try sleeping or something?”Matt Uh, guys why is there a dude in helicopter trying to shoot us with a bazooka?
Edd (Sarcastically) Well thats just great.
(The group is flung back as the cell window is blasted open)
The man with the bazooka comes through the smoke.
Paul Hello, uh sorry I don't know your names. The Red Leader only refers people as code names.
Tom The Red who?
Matt My name is the beautiful Matt-
Edd covers Matt's mouth
Edd Don't tell him your name idiot!
Paul My name is Paul.
Camera Pans to Matt
Matt Why are your eyebrows 20 feet tall?
Camera Pans back to Paul
Paul They aren't even that big are you blind!?
Camera Pans back to Matt
Matt suddenly wearing blind glasses
Matt Yes
Patryk Hi my name is Patryk-
Paul PATRYK YOUR FLYING THE HELICOPTER!
Patryk Oh.
We hear a Helicopter explosion from outside. Paul and Patryk look down from the exposed cell wall, showing the burning half-destroyed Helicopter.
Patryk Don't worry I'll fix those scratches!
Paul Whatever.
Edd So, are you here to save us?
Paul Nah, we're gonna capture you!
Edd Aw, Bugger
Paul pulls out a "Super cool taser gun" as the label on the taser gun says.
Tom Lame.
(Tom is shocked and knocked out by the taser gun)
(The group watches in shock as Tom goes down from the taser-gun.)
Matt (Panicking) "Oh no, Tom! Edd, do something!!"
Edd (In shock) "What can I do? There's two nut jobs with a taser gun and an assault rifle who are trying to capture us!"
Paul (Casually) "Don't worry, if you don't resist, you'll be safe. The Red Leader just wants you guys for a special project.”
Edd Whatever.
Edd blacks out
(Cut to) Helicopter - Backseat - Morning
Edd wakes up
Edd (Distraught) Ow my head hurts!
Tom (Confused) What happened?
Edd (Deep Voice) Hey Babe.
Tom (Angry) Wtf Edd!
Matt is making muffled sounds because of a mask on his face that says "Beware ugly fish monster behind mask." Edd takes the mask off of Matt.
Edd (Disturbed) EW, the mask was right!
Matt (Angry) Hey!
Paul So you finally woke up!
Matt Uh, yeah
Edd This reminds me of when I flew a Helicopter when I was in the Uk Army!
Paul (Confused) You were in the army!?
Matt We all were can't you tell just by looking at us!
Camera pans to show all of the three boys looking exaggeratedly more stupid than usual.
Paul No.
The three friends look at each other in annoyance, feeling belittled by Paul's remark. Tom speaks up.
Tom (Sarcastically) "Oh wow, thanks for the compliment. Nice to know we look like a bunch of army rejects."
Matt (Defensively) "Excuse me, we are actually highly trained and intelligent individuals... in our own special way.”
Tom (Sarcastically) At least two of us are!
Tom and Edd high-five. Matt not realizing that they are inferring that he's the stupid one, keeps a smile on his face
Edd (Amused) Wait didn't your Helicopter crash like a few hours ago?
Patryk (Proudly) This is my 857th Helicopter!
Edd's Amused face goes to worried.
Edd (Unsettled) “Oh boy, this is going to be one bumpy ride…”
Edd At least we're away from the HELI-COP-TER
Everyone looks at Edd because of the horrible pun.
Tom So, where are we going?
Paul To the "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
The camera zooms out of the Helicopter to show that the place is actually called "SUPER EVIL EDGY VILLAINOUS BASE!"
Edd Well that's just silly.

I really wanted to put this out here for anybody who might be searching the internet in a panicked fear about making the choice to get this surgery or not. Or just looking for advice to make the process easier! On Friday (5/17) I finally went through with the absolutely DREADED hemorrhoidectomy. I was absolutely terrified based on the stories I read on here, and elsewhere on the internet. Today is Tuesday (5/21) and I’ve literally had no resting pain so far, other than feeling sore at the site. I’ve had a bowel movement every morning for the past 3 days, and felt nothing more than mild stings and some pressure. Now I want to start off by disclosing the fact that I did have exparel administered at the time of my surgery (long lasting local anesthesia) if you can get this, I believe it is one of the keys to minimizing your pain. Not only because it quite literally takes the pain away for the first few days by keeping you nice and numb, but because of that you will not be loading up on narcotics (which cause constipation, the place I think most people with these dreaded stories are coming from) With that being said, the most important thing is to prevent constipation at all costs. I took Miralax once a day until I finally moved the bowels, then stopped. I drink a glass of prune juice every day (just 1) I also drink 1 glass of Metamucil per day (1 tsp in a cup of apple juice or water) I only ate Greek yogurt, chicken broth, oatmeal, grapes, pineapple, cantaloupe and tons of water (6 water bottles about) I’ve also taken my ibuprofen around the clock, I set an alarm and take it just to be ahead of any pain that might come even though I have never felt like I needed it yet. Sitz bath 3-4 times a day and after a bowel movement, and lidocaine cream after bowel movement. My doc said change the gauze 4 times a day, I find myself doing it much more frequently because I pee a lot since I’ve been drinking so much water, so I change it when I use the bathroom. I never lay on my butt, even when I was numb I just laid on my side so that I didn’t irritate anything. For the first few days I iced my butt as well to manage the swelling. I have a little portable bidet that I use during bowl movements that helps with the burning. I’m only on day 5, so I have a lot of healing to do still. But so far it’s been a cake walk compared to the horrors I’ve read on the internet. Just lounging around, rewatching GOT and letting the healing do its thing! I know everybody is different but I think if you take this surgery seriously and prepare knowing that your choices play a huge role in recovery and some of this can be within in your control, you can do it. There are some things that are not within in your control, which leads me to my next point.. your surgeon. I believe mine was the best of the best, he is a colorectal surgeon, not a general surgeon. You need to go to a colorectal surgeon who does this day in and day out vs. a general surgeon who does this surgery way less frequently. I can’t be sure, but from all the positive stories I’ve read, an actual colorectal surgeon seems to be the one thing everybody has in common! You can’t control what’s being done, but you can control who is doing it! Best of luck everybody !! I hope this helps somebody

"We're your mates." Mates? Six mates? How could it be?! "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." ———————— I would die in this very spot, and no one would have a clue. Six hours... I'd been trapped under this pile of random things for six hours. My hips and back ached from how long I'd been stuck in this exact position. I'd tried everything I could think of, but the massive pile of unknown stuff never moved. Something heavy had landed on my back, keeping me pinned face down on scattered newspapers and the occasional book. How did I know there were books when I couldn't see them? Because of the sharp corners stabbing into me. If that level of depressing suckage wasn't enough, I had to pee. My bladder hurt... felt like it was about to burst. Because of course, the first time I decided to drink spirits, I'd end up faced and trapped under a pile of a hoarder's treasure. To relieve some of the pressure off my cheek, I dug my shoulder into the newspaper floor and tilted my head until my forehead pressed against the mess underneath me. The small amount of relief I felt from the change of position was enough to stop me from going insane. For now. Ding dong. "You've got to be shitting me." I grumbled into the ancient newspapers. Someone at the door wouldn't matter. I couldn't get off the floor... erm, pile of stuff that acted as a floor, to answer the door. Whoever was on the other side would eventually think someone wasn't home and leave. And so would my only chance at being rescued. "Ha." I couldn't stop the sarcastic laugh from escaping. Even if they did come in, whoever they were wouldn't want to sign up for this insanity. I didn't even want to deal with this nightmare my life had become. Thanks mom. Ding dong. Ding dong. Who rang the doorbell multiple times? Seriously, just go away and let me die. Sure, I would be in the hall of shame for dumb ways to go, but I'd already accepted my fate. Not only would I die in one of the most embarrassing ways in history, I'd go with the dullest life experiences. Why? Because I'd always done what I was supposed to do... every single expectation my parents had, I jumped at the chance to please them. I was an idiot. A boring, lame, not once destined to save the world, sheltered little girl that grew in an inexperienced woman. My life was pathetic. "Parker, are you okay?" The deep voice sent shivers through me. I imagined this unknown man growling in my ear. Then my senses came back to me. While I was on the verge of being crushed to death, someone had broken into my house. Great, just what I needed. Good luck mister robber. If you can find anything valuable, then you deserved it. The logical side of my brain caught up to current events. First thing, a robber wouldn't call out my name as he broke into my house. Second, I didn't know anyone with a voice so delicious... uh, I meant distinct. Yeah. Should I respond or hope they gave up and left? My mother would have insisted I remain silent. Her voice slid through my memory. "Men were a distraction to a woman's career." I rolled my eyes at the phrase she'd said throughout my childhood and even after I'd moved out on my own. If I was going to leave this world, it would be after doing something ridiculous. I'd call the man with the delicious voice over, then I could die from embarrassment. "I'm over here!" What I'd intended to be a shout came out more as a breathy moan. I barely had room to breathe. It seemed shouting was impossible. A burning hot pain shot through my neck as I tried to turn my head to see the footsteps that approached. Nope, that wasn't going to happen. My mysterious, silver tongued hero or burglar's looks would have to remain a mystery just a bit longer. "Over here!" Just like last time, his voice made me shudder. With a voice like that, the man had to be hot. I hoped he had a beard... and tattoos. Not only would it make my mother roll in her grave, I'd always loved looking at burly, tatted up, bearded guys. Add in hair that was long enough to pull and I couldn't think of a good reason to ever leave the house. The crushing weight finally lifted off me. I sucked in a deep breath, then immediately regretted it as I choked on the oxygen. My lungs seized as the rush of air shocked them. Hands grabbed my arms and shoulders, then the world tilted as they lifted me to my feet. I bent over and grabbed my knees as my equilibrium spun. Hands patted my back, helping me calm. Actually, there were more than two hands. I counted enough to equal three people. When I got my breathing under control, I dared follow the black boots that stood at the top of my vision. My gaze slid up, taking in black cargo pants that rode low on a pair of hips. Further up, a black tactical vest contained... bottles of cleaning solution. What the heck? The moment I went full vertical, my balance tilted again. I stepped back to catch myself. In front of me stood a massive man, the kind I had to look up to just to catch a view of his chin... his bearded chin. My fingers itched with the need to touch it. I didn't. It would be weird to stroke a hot stranger's beard. Wouldn't it? I shook my head. Of course it would be weird. I turned, taking in the four men and one woman standing all around me. The sound of newspapers sliding preceding my right foot slid out from underneath me. The giant of a man caught me before I fell on my hips in front of everyone. They all wore similar black tactical gear with cleaning supplies. Colorful bottles of solution, a duster, a roll of trash bags, and... was that a broom and a mop with shoulder straps? Who were these people? "Parker, are you okay?" The deliciously deep voice asked from behind me. After a few tries, I accepted the fact that I was speechless. My brain nudged at me, telling me I'd missed a crucial detail. Every brain cell misfired as I looked them over again. Correction, five of them wore black tactical gear. Every single one of them was drop dead gorgeous, and it made me feel out of place. One of the guys stood off to the side with his arms crossed over his chest. I blinked. No, that couldn't be right. I blinked again, but the sight stayed the same. A man stood taller than those closest to him. Peeking over his crossed arms was a ruffled white fabric with black lace woven through it and tied in a bow. There was even a small scattering of chest hair sticking over the edge. The hem of the skirt ended well above his knee, revealing a tattoo that covered his entire right thigh. My gaze traveled up to his face. A plush black beard contrasted with the skimpy maid's outfit he wore. "I..." Words failed me again. I gestured to the man whose outfit didn't fit the others. He rolled his eyes as he tightened his grip on his arms. "They thought it would be funny to prank me. Did you know, not only did they buy this ridiculous outfit, they stole the rest of my clothes, so I'd have to wear this?" "Uh, no. I don't even know who all of you are." For whatever reason, it hadn't dawned on me that all these incredibly attractive people were standing in my house. Like inside, where they could take in the horror of what my mother left me to inherit. Mortification slammed into me. They'd seen the awful mess. "You all need to leave." "Parker?" The burly man's voice from behind me caught my attention. He waited until I turned around to continue. "You don't remember asking us to come here, do you?" Ice slid down my spine. I'd been pretty drunk last night, but since I'd never had spirits before and I'd decided to take shots of everything in my mother's 'social hour' cabinet, I wasn't even surprised I'd woken up with a hangover. "How much did you have to drink last night?" "Seeing how I'm awake now, apparently not enough. Who are you, and how do you know me?" The man bared his teeth at me, making a sound that I could only describe as a hiss. "Never again. From now on, if you need something, you ask us." I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. "Why would I ask you anything?" "Because we're your mates." Hard stop. Mates? A giddy feeling in my belly told me he didn't mean a friend. I held a finger up for him to give me a minute. A sharp pain slid through my abdomen, reminding me I had yet to relieve myself after my drunken night of mistakes. One of the other men spoke up. "I know it's a lot to take in, and you're probably really confused, but we are all your fated mates." I'd read enough werewolf romance novels to know what they meant, and they were dead wrong. Shifters weren't real. "Yeah mate, tell us what you need, and we'll get it for you." "I need to pee." And with that, I stomped out to the nearest bathroom and locked myself inside. Why wouldn't the ground open and swallow me whole? I sat on the bathroom floor with my back propped against the wall and hugged my legs to my chest as I rested my forehead on my knees. Not only had people witnessed the horror I lived in, but they had to be the hottest people in the world. Even the woman had made me look twice and left me shoving a deeper desire I refuse to even consider right now. Knock, knock. "Parker?" It was the giant of a man's voice. Why couldn't they leave so I could be alone? "Go away." I heard sounds on the other side of the door that sounded like he'd sat on the floor. "Come out and talk to us." I pressed my forehead against my knee harder, trying to ignore the giant bearded intercourse god. "Or, just talk to me. We're worried about you." My chest seized as I forced myself to take a deep breath. Irrational anger surged inside of me. Why didn't they understand I didn't want them here? "You don't even know me." The sound of his deep chuckle sent a warm wave of desire through me. Stupid hormones. "Twenty-four hours ago, I would have agreed with you. After last night, I feel like I know you on a level most others never will." What did I do last night? I still couldn't remember what I'd done. I swore to myself I'd never drink again. "It was all lies." "Why are you trying to push us away? What would be so wrong with letting someone in to help for once?" Memories of my parents’ fighting came back to me. It was my tenth birthday. When my dad found out my mom bought a cake for my birthday, he'd attacked her. Everything was a blur until he'd pinned her against the wall. She held a knife to his crotch and threatened him. He'd left and never returned that day. My mind shut down, preventing me from thinking about it any longer. "Because I can't afford to pay you and no one does anything out of the kindness of their heart." I couldn't keep the sarcastic tone out of my voice as I said it. "Parker, you're missing a vital part of this dynamic." Silently, I chanted over and over for him to not use the word mates again. It couldn't be real. Paranormal romance novels weren't real... neither were shifters nor the perfect person walking into my life and devoting themselves to me. That was a fairytale, not reality. "Mates. Just to see a smile cross your lips, I'd clean this entire property. Throw in the others, and we'd do anything to see you happy." He tapped something on the door. "I can scent your annoyance through the door." "Wait a minute... you said all of you. That's not how mates work. Fated mates are two people, not an entire harem." I hissed as I shook my head. "This conversation is ridiculous because it's not real." Silence filled the space between us for several long seconds. "You really want us to leave?" My stomach twisted at his words. We just met, and yet he sounded devastated as he asked the question. I silently cursed myself for causing the change I heard. If I was a better person, I would say something else. "Yes." "Fine, we'll leave, but only on one condition. Buss each one of us. Then, if you feel nothing, we'll walk out of here without protest." I banged my head on my knee. That wouldn't work. They weren't even in the room with me and I already felt things. No way could I buss even one of them without having a reaction. "No." "Is that because you already know what I'm saying is true, or are you just being stubborn?" Before I could think about why he had said it, I jumped up and threw the door open to glare at him. "Are you always a jerk?" The confidence disappeared as I looked up into his eyes. He grabbed the doorknob and pulled it closed behind me, pushing me against him in the process. His gaze locked on mine as he lowered his head until we were almost bussing. "Never, but I'm not above riling you up to help give you the boost you need to confront a situation with confidence." Now that he was so close, I couldn't remember why I'd locked myself in the bathroom. Everything around us disappeared except the door his hard body pressed me against. His free hand caressed my cheek. "Can you genuinely tell me you don't feel the bond trying to form between us?" I clamped my jaw closed. If I didn't admit it out loud, then it wasn't real, but he was right. I could feel a... connection to him and the others. It didn't make sense, and I might not want it, but was most definitely there. His lips brushed against mine ever so slightly, sending a wave of fire through me. I gripped the straps of his black tactical vest to pull him closer, but he didn't budge. He chuckled as he moved from my lips to my ear. "Mate, if I buss you, I won't stop until you're mine. It might not be today or tomorrow, but I will claim you and make you mine." "And if I say we're not mates?" "Your mouth might lie, but your body and soul can't." I heard him inhale deep at my neck. "I can smell your need to claim me. It fills my senses until it's all I can think about. I've just found you and already you've consumed my entire world." It was bizarre, but I completely understood what he meant. Somewhere deep down inside of me, the idea of kicking out even one of them left me feeling raw. Six mates... and one of them was a woman. I'd known I was attracted to both genders from a young age, but I'd always locked that part of me away. My mom flipped at the idea of me dating a single man. I couldn't even fathom how hard she was rolling over in her grave at having six lovers. It was so much to process. "Come on, let's go back to the others." His voice pulled me back to reality. "Not yet." Suddenly, I didn't want to move. When I felt his body pull back, I gripped his vest tighter. My gut twisted as I decided to throw a lifetime of caution out the window. "buss me." He growled deep in his chest as his hands slid down my sides until he cupped my hips. A squeal of surprise escaped me as he lifted me up, then held me against his chest as he pressed me against the door. "You're mine... ours." Then his buss consumed me, mind, body, and soul. It felt as if our life forces bonded together. The mere thought of letting go of this man became too much. It was in that moment I realized I'd screwed up. I'd never be able to give him up, or the others, without ripping my own heart from my chest. I regretted so much in my life. What was one more? I sank my hands into his hair, gripping it at the roots, and tilted his head back. Our buss broke. A smug satisfaction slid through me when I realized he was breathing as hard as I was, but I wasn't done throwing out stupid rules my mother had forced on me. I pulled his head until I'd exposed his neck. The edge of a tribal tattoo peeked out under his shirt. I trailed the tip of my tongue along the dark lines, then bussed a trail along his neck. He moved until only one hand cupped my hips. His other hand caressed the back of my neck, urging me to do whatever I wanted to him. I tightened my legs around his waist, lifting myself higher as my busses moved along the edge of his beard. "That is hot." Another man's voice made it through my lusty fog. "Yeah, can't wait until it's my turn." Someone else said. I pulled back and realized my five other mates were watching us make out. All of them had a hunger in their eyes I'd never seen before...

Hey everyone,
My partner is on a bit of hankering / quest for the DQ cupcakes. We've tried a couple locations in town and they all say it's not in Canada, but they have been showing up on social media as available in Canada.
Does anyone know of a DQ location that does serve these little dreams in a cup?
Thanks for the help!

Recipe: https://thesaltycooker.com/vanilla-bean-cake-with-chocolate-frosting/
Ingredients 2 ⅓ cups 1.1 GF flour ½ tsp kosher salt 4 tsp baking powder 1 ¾ cups sugar 1 ¼ cups milk 4 eggs 2 tsp vanilla bean paste ¾ cup butter room temp
Frosting 1 1/2 cups butter, room temperature 5 cups powdered sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 1/2 cup milk 1 tsp espresso powder 1 cup unsweetened cocoa
Instructions Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray two 8″ round cake pans with nonstick baking spray. In a mixing bowl, combine sugar and butter. Mix for 3 minutes, then add eggs one at a time. Mix in milk and vanilla. In a separate bowl, combine dry ingredients and fold into the wet mixture.
Split the batter between the two cake pans and bake for 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Allow cakes to cool completely. Frost and enjoy! Frosting Add all of the ingredients to a bowl. Mix until the sugar and cocoa are completely incorporated and the frosting is smooth and creamy.

Neoliberal Cake Recipe

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of free-market flour
• 1/2 cup of private property sugar
• 2 large eggs of opportunity
• 1/2 cup of capitalism butter, softened
• 2 tsp of regulatory baking powder
• 1/2 tsp of salt of the earth
• 3/4 cup of globalist milk
• 1 tsp of vanilla extract of innovation

Directions:

1. Preheat the Oven of Progress: Set your oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a cake pan, shaping the base like a tiny globe.
2. Mix Dry Ingredients: In a large mixing bowl, combine the free-market flour, private property sugar, regulatory baking powder, and salt of the earth.
3. Add Wet Capital: In a separate bowl, beat the capitalism butter until smooth. Add eggs of opportunity one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in the vanilla extract of innovation.
4. Merge Policies: Alternately add the dry ingredients and globalist milk to the butter mixture, starting and ending with the dry ingredients. Mix until the economy—err, the batter—is smooth.
5. Bake the Liberal Order: Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of global governance comes out clean.
6. Cool and Globalize: Let the cake cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely. This represents the cooling of heated economic debates.
7. Decorate with Free Trade Frosting: Whip up a frosting of choice, subtly flavored with international spirits, and spread evenly over the cake. Optionally, decorate with a currency sprinkle mix from various nations.
8. Serve with a Side of Debate: Cut into slices, serve with a side of open forum discussion, and enjoy a slice of neoliberal ideology!

Title says it all.
Been around since before Atari, played all other Fallout games but this one because I´m not keen on multiplayer games, or so I thought.
I´ve only been playing this since a few weeks before the series launched and only picked it up because it was free on ps+ at the time.
I played it solo, feeling iffy when I saw other players in MY WORLD but I really enjoyed the questline and when that was done I got bored, but understood that you NEED to play co-op in order to progress.
And I don´t even care that there is no endgame. It´s a weird, living world and I started caring about how I build my camp, wanting it to fit in or stand out, and I don´t think I´ve ever enjoyed wave-emojioing to randos in any other game, as much as in this.
I´m only lvl 140-ish on my first character, and there is so much stuff to build and learn.
Anyway, to the true OG players who have all the serum recipes and whatnot - don´t be a douche and sell them for 2K.
I bought marsupial for 500 caps and it literally changed my world and understanding of the game dynamics/perk cards.
I sell everything at my vendor for the price it suggests, because I figure that if I have it, it can´t be rare enough for anyone to need it, apart from the perfect cake and you have been offended stuff, which I sell for 40k, hoping some rich person willl take pity and buy it.
I have a ton of questions, though, so here goes:
How you do you add stuff like cups, empty plates or old boxes of abraxo to your camp, so it actually looks like someone lived there?
Is there any way to exceed the 15 point S.P.E.C.I.A.L cap limit?
What keeps you going, if you´ve been around since day one?
I see some higher levels sprint around like AP is non-existing both in PA and without, when doing expeditions or daily ops - how?
Anyway, what a game and what a community.
Thanks to everyone, who makes it enjoyable to meet and play. =)

i only had half the rice ~ the soup had tofu, mushroom, vegetable, egg.
thanks sm c:

We want to start BLW and have tried to offer some foods a few times with 0 luck besides when it's sweets. We started on purees at 4m and she does really well with them and we work on her spoon feeding herself when we have the time (and patience). However I've tried to start offering solids as well and we're always met with the same problems. I made her sweet potato mash and she did end up eating it all but wasn't pleased with the thickness even though she has had tons of thick purees before (& all ingredients I added into the mash). We tried steamed broccoli, avocado, gerber raviolis and spaghettios, & finally some gerber chicken noodle soup. Every time she may take 1 or 2 bites if we're lucky and most of it gets spit right back out and then she refuses to try again. She knows how to chew as she chews her hands all day long and has chewed and swallowed bites before so I don't know what gives. She will just hold the food in her mouth with no attempt to chew. We did let her do a small smash cake type action for her 6m and she ate that no problem (what she didn't get all over the high chair or herself). She's also had a couple wafer cookies at my mom's house where she sucks til soft and gets the frosting out of the middle and then promptly spits out the mushed up cookie for the dog to eat or her to wear. She took the pancakes I offered and fed them directly to the dog. She has all readiness signs but when it comes time to actually get down to it she refuses unless it is sweets. We don't give her sweets everyday (most she gets is fruit) but it seems like I can't get her to eat anything in solid form when I know she likes it in puree. Any suggestions or tips/advice would be helpful. We are also struggling with getting her to drink water, she acts like she's being poisoned if you try to get her to drink some & currently trying to offer sippy cup with meals to no use. Has anyone else struggled this badly? I don't mind feeding the purees I just don't want her to end up having texture issues with food like I and her dad do.
EDIT: to all those telling me sweets aren't recommended, kindly I'm aware and I simply think it's unrealistic to keep her away. It's what works for our family and it's not every single day she's having sweets. 99% of her diet is fruit, veggie and meat puree. I don't have an issue with it so if you've come here to comment on that gently please keep your opinions to yourself.

We've been using Boxiecat pro since getting the LR4 based on recommendations here over a year ago and has largely worked well. The couple of times we got Dr. Elsey's, we went through the bag twice as fast so the net cost is about the same.
However in the last few months the condition of one our aging cats who has kidney disease and pees a lot has worsened. Now she is peeing cups at a time, so much that the litter gets caked like hard mud on her feet. She doesn't even bother covering her business any more, just hops in and pees but it still gets on her feet.
I see when searching the subreddit that the sustainably yours will not do that, however I do not like that it is more expensive and because it is lighter people say does track a lot more (an amazon reviewer likened it to getting towels full of beach sand and shaking them out all over the house). Is there some other litter that will be less tracking, not form hard clumps on the cats feet but also will work with the LR? Will mixing sustainably yours and Boxiecat work and not stick to the cat? Thanks!

New Bakery in Cypress Hills Bakery not only serving the Best Tres Leches Cakes in NYC but also offering Farm to Cup Dominican Coffee imported straight from the Farms in Ocoa Mountains.
JOB DESCRIPTION Im looking for a fun and creative Pastry chef who has a lot of Passion for Baking delicious treats. Experience is a Plus but not necessary below is what i am looking for in a Pastry chef
Clean and organized Creates and develops new recipes Has Piping skills with different toppings to go on pastries Manages the kitchen with ordering ingredients, supplies and Appliances Has the ability to train new kitchen staff Has experience baking cakes,cookies and Pies Is patient and understanding gets along with everyone. Has a fun and energetic attitude, understanding and Patien Loves to bake and create!!
COMPENSATION this position is : hourly, $15-20/hr
Apply here
Via needabarista.com

While I thought I packed pretty well and tidy for my 2-week work trip abroad, I did miss a few items that I should have had with me.
Let's start with some of the things I did have, which made the trip much more enjoyable:

• 4D Pack (backpack sized) vacuum bags. These things are amazing, and after trying stuff sacks, vacuum bags, other bags, these take the cake.
• Flextail Zero pump, which came in invaluable for removing the air from the 4D bags. The whole pump is about the size and length of my thumb.
  I also packed a rechargeable mini flashlight (Fenix E18R, smaller than the pump) that uses the same exact battery, so I can recharge the battery for the pump in the flashlight body and double my usability!
  
• Scrubba Wash Bag, non-mini, so I could wash both pants, shirts, socks and other items. I also packed some "Soap Leaves" from Sea to Summit with me to wash the items in the room.
  The hotel was so packed that people were complaining that they were getting their wash back 2-3 days later, and some were missing items, or had items that didn't belong to them in their returned wash. Washing my own items in my own room, avoids both of those situations.
  
• Several Patagonia Capalene Cool shirts in various colors.
  
• Portable door lock, biggest feature? Packs flat.
  
• Folding, portable, titanium chopsticks. Packs small, flat, and allowed in carry-on. Bonus: Also doubles as a defense weapon if needed (and properly trained).
  
• Folding water kettle. This boils water ridiculously fast. On 220V, it goes from bathroom tap water to boiling over, in about 40 seconds. Used this for morning coffee; "Think" lions-mane coffee from Four Sigmatic (serious brain food).
  
• Of course, the Universal Travel Adapter from EPICKA. This one has 4 USB-A ports and 1 USB-C port, in addition to the standard plugs for 150 countries.
  

Now the items I wish I had, but forgot to bring along:

• Sea to Summit folding camping bowl and cup set.
  I had to order some food from Uber Eats to the hotel, and they didn't provide any means to portion out the food, and their transport containers basically disintegrated en-route, leaving them useless for eating. I use these all the time when camping, but totally forgot to pack them. Oops!
  
• Some form of utensil, other than the chopsticks mentioned above. Again, food delivery forgot to include utensils, so I was left trying to be a bit more efficient with food not designed to eat with chopsticks (thick stew, curry, Indian cuisines).
  I have an extra long, titanium spoon designed to be used with bagged camping meals (add boiling water, close, wait 8 minutes, eat), but I totally forgot to pack that as well.
  
• Travel clothesline. I found myself having to hang my washed shirts, underwear, socks around the perimeter of the open ironing board and closed in the drawer lip of the TV stand to get them to dry overnight.
  If I had stretched the clothesline/paracord across the room with my Figure 9 Carabiner from NiteIze, the job would have been a lot easier.
  Not every hotel has a good pair of attachment points to mount a clothesline, so I'm going to have to carry extra lengths and be creative, but I'm going to make sure I don't forget!
  
• Pure Enrichment air filter (with handle removed). I've been through several portable air filters, and tested them for CFM as well as air quality, and this is the best I've found. It's also chargeable and runs for several hours on its own, in addition to running via battery bank.
  My second favorite is the Homedics 4-in-1, but it lacks a battery. Its air does smell a bit fresher, and it does push a bit more CFM. As long as you're near power, it could be a win. I woke up nearly every morning stuffy or with so much dry air that I was blowing blood into tissues each morning.
  
• Lastly, and very much needed, a mini first-aid kit. I had a moderately bad bike crash while there, and the left side of my body was a bit of road rash hamburger for a week.
  I didn't have any disinfectant, only hotel bar soap and some cleansing wipes. Scrubbing out road grid, gravel dust and other things from the road rash was nothing short of, excruciating.
  After it started to heal and the scabs formed and dried up, they too peeled off and caused more blood spots on the desk and my clothes. Having a handful of band-aids, ointment, Bacitracin ointment and triple antibiotic, would have helped considerably.
  

I could have packed more camping meals, but didn't have time to ordedehydrate enough for 2 weeks of food, so eating out/eating in was sufficient, minus the convenience of actual bowls and utensils.
What are others adding to their "Must not forget" list when they travel abroad?
What items have you forgotten in the past that you wished you had when you traveled and didn't?
Edit Edit: Added back in direct URL links, as others have commented this is permitted.

French Silk Cake Roll is a decadent dessert that combines the rich creaminess of French silk pie filling with a light and fluffy cake roll. It’s a stunning dessert that’s perfect for special occasions or whenever you’re craving something indulgent. Here’s how to make it:
Ingredients:
For the Chocolate Cake:
4 large eggs, separated 3/4 cup granulated sugar, divided 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1/4 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon salt For the French Silk Filling:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar 4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled 1 teaspoon vanilla extract For Garnish:
Whipped cream Chocolate shavings or cocoa powder Instructions:
Preheat the Oven and Prepare the Pan: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 15×10-inch jelly roll pan and line it with parchment paper, leaving an overhang on the long sides for easy removal. Make the Chocolate Cake: In a large mixing bowl, beat the egg yolks with 1/2 cup of granulated sugar until thick and pale. Stir in the vanilla extract. In a separate bowl, sift together the cocoa powder, flour, and salt. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the egg yolk mixture, mixing until well combined. Beat Egg Whites: In another clean mixing bowl, beat the egg whites with the remaining 1/4 cup of granulated sugar until stiff peaks form. Fold Ingredients Together: Gently fold the beaten egg whites into the chocolate mixture until no streaks remain. Be careful not to deflate the egg whites. Spread Batter: Spread the batter evenly into the prepared jelly roll pan, smoothing the top with a spatula. Bake in the preheated oven for 12-15 minutes, or until the cake springs back when lightly touched. Roll the Cake: While the cake is still warm, loosen the edges with a knife and invert it onto a clean kitchen towel dusted with powdered sugar. Carefully remove the parchment paper. Starting from one of the short sides, roll the cake and towel together into a tight spiral. Place it seam side down on a wire rack to cool completely. Make the French Silk Filling: In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened butter and powdered sugar until light and fluffy. Gradually add the melted and cooled chocolate, beating until smooth and creamy. Stir in the vanilla extract until well combined. Unroll the Cake: Carefully unroll the cooled cake from the towel. Spread the French silk filling evenly over the cake, leaving a small border around the edges. Roll the Cake: Roll the cake back up, starting from the same short side, without the towel this time. Use the parchment paper to help lift and guide the cake as you roll it. Place it seam side down on a serving platter. Chill and Garnish: Chill the cake roll in the refrigerator for at least 1-2 hours to set the filling. Before serving, garnish with whipped cream and chocolate shavings or a dusting of cocoa powder. Slice and Serve: Use a sharp knife to slice the cake roll into servings. Serve and enjoy the rich and creamy French silk filling wrapped in a light and fluffy chocolate cake! Tips:
Make sure the melted chocolate is cooled to room temperature before adding it to the butter and sugar mixture to prevent it from seizing. Be gentle when rolling and unrolling the cake to avoid cracking. For added flavor, you can add a splash of rum or coffee liqueur to the French silk filling. Store any leftovers in the refrigerator, tightly covered, for up to 3-4 days. Conclusion: French Silk Cake Roll is an elegant and indulgent dessert that’s sure to impress your guests. With its velvety French silk filling and light and fluffy chocolate cake, it’s a delightful treat for any occasion. Enjoy the luxurious flavors of this exquisite dessert!

Gingerbread Cake with Salted Caramel Buttercream is a delightful dessert that combines the warm, spicy flavors of gingerbread with the rich sweetness of salted caramel. It’s a perfect treat for the holiday season or any time you’re craving a cozy and indulgent dessert. Here’s how to make it:
Ingredients:
For the Gingerbread Cake:
2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 tablespoon ground ginger 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/2 cup molasses 2 large eggs 1 cup buttermilk For the Salted Caramel Buttercream:
1 cup unsalted butter, softened 2 cups powdered sugar 1/2 cup salted caramel sauce (store-bought or homemade) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract Pinch of salt Instructions:
Preheat the Oven: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour two 9-inch round cake pans or line them with parchment paper for easy removal. Make the Gingerbread Cake: In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, ground ginger, cinnamon, and cloves until well combined. Cream Butter and Sugar: In a large mixing bowl, cream together the softened butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Add Molasses and Eggs: Beat in the molasses until well combined. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Alternate Dry Ingredients and Buttermilk: Gradually add the dry ingredients to the creamed mixture, alternating with the buttermilk. Begin and end with the dry ingredients, mixing until just combined after each addition. Divide and Bake: Divide the batter evenly between the prepared cake pans. Smooth the tops with a spatula. Bake in the preheated oven for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cakes comes out clean. Cool the Cakes: Remove the cakes from the oven and let them cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Then, transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely. Make the Salted Caramel Buttercream: In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened butter until creamy. Gradually add the powdered sugar, beating until smooth and fluffy. Beat in the salted caramel sauce, vanilla extract, and a pinch of salt until well combined and creamy. Assemble the Cake: Once the cakes are completely cooled, place one cake layer on a serving plate or cake stand. Spread a layer of salted caramel buttercream evenly over the top. Place the second cake layer on top and frost the top and sides of the cake with the remaining buttercream. Decorate (Optional): Drizzle additional salted caramel sauce over the top of the cake for a decorative touch. You can also garnish with gingerbread cookies or a sprinkle of ground cinnamon if desired. Slice and Serve: Use a sharp knife to slice the cake into servings. Serve and enjoy the rich and flavorful combination of gingerbread and salted caramel! Tips:
To ensure a tender and moist cake, be careful not to overmix the batter once the dry ingredients are added. If you prefer a stronger ginger flavor, you can increase the amount of ground ginger in the cake batter. For a more pronounced salted caramel flavor, you can add additional salted caramel sauce to the buttercream frosting. Store any leftover cake in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3-4 days. Conclusion: Gingerbread Cake with Salted Caramel Buttercream is a deliciously festive dessert that’s perfect for the holiday season or any special occasion. With its moist and flavorful gingerbread cake layers paired with creamy salted caramel buttercream, it’s sure to be a crowd-pleaser. Enjoy the comforting and indulgent flavors of this delightful cake!