Pictures of houses with shaker siding

I don’t live in the middle of nowhere, but it is about 10 minutes out of town. I live off of a frontage road, so you just turn off the road main road and into my driveway. I leave very clear instructions on how to find it. “Red house with the red garage. Driveway is on the south side of the house. Look for the white truck 😊” (a literal copy and paste of my description)
Last night, I was doing some DYI on some furniture and was exhausted and it was already 9:30 pm so i decided to DD. The driver drove down my neighbors driveway on accident. I only knew this because I could hear him holding his horn and letting out one looongg honk as he drove up and down their driveway... at 10pm on a Monday.
He then got back on the main road and down the correct driveway, and sat in his car and blared his horn until I came out of my house and he just rolled down his window and held my order out of his driver window despite me requesting contactless delivery and made me walk to his driver door to collect my food

When writing does anyone feel like their imagination revolves primarily around "fancasting" actors... I know our imagination and writing revolves around our experiences, but who would Emily Dickinson have been picturing before the mass media bombardment of faces to choose from for characters... Would she have just always been picturing blurred faces with variations of generic character traits ? Also, do you think humans can come up with a completely unique character in their imagination or is it a combination of traits from people we have seen in the real world... can the mind come up with a new face, or do we see faces or features we've already seen in the real world ?
Side note: Can anyone tell me what my profile needs to be a part of the contributor program or reddit or what I'm missing, I can't tell. It's unclear what I need to do to have my account qualify for the program ...

My front has:

1. reolink Doorbell which has an almost 180 coverage. on protruding porch.
   
2. duo 2 slightly higher up but basically same coverage as (1). Mounted on top of on protruding porch.
   
3. trackmix which scares people away with its auto tracking at night with flashlight. Mounted with corner bracket of protruding porch to face front and able to look back into shared drive area (but this is only 2 metres before it hits the gate).
   
4. RLC-81PA which is mounted to side of house facing the protruding porch for a side angle on visitors + auto track which also scares people away at night with flashlight.
   

I think this is an overkill as:
a. (2) covers similar area as (1)
b. (3) seems slightly gimmicky as 90% area also covered by (1) and (2).
Considering keeping either:
a. (1) and (2)
or
b) (1), (2), (3)
or
c) (1), (3), (4)
Views please?
thanks

Love some ideas. I have a few smaller bags that I can concealed carry in comfortably. I have an SOG Surrept 4 that’s a great bag on hot days.
My issue is there isn’t a loop inside to tie a holster to. I use a Raven Concealment v2 with my other bags and it is tied down.
My thought is to use a hot glue gun to glue a piece of velcro on the side closest to me and then add velcro to the plastic that is to my body side on the Vanguard 2.
I was wondering if any of you all had an idea or workaround. I attached a picture of the inside of a SOG Surrept 04 for reference taken from an internet review.
Many thanks.

In the next year or so I will need to replace my front-entry steps. It’s a four-step rise with a landing of about 3.5x3.5 feet plus dual railings. I’m debating between wood or concrete. And also, what do you think would be a reasonable estimate for demo/removal of existing concrete steps plus install of either one?
Location is Minnesota, and steps are on the north side of house if that matters as far as weathering.

Please can someone read and share their thoughts. Would really appreciate it.
I’m a young 21 male who got married at 19 to a beautiful woman the same age as me. From the very start, we were unable to have sex as it would just be really painful to the point where I felt bad looking at her go through the pain so I stop every time we try (we used to try at the start but not anymore). Before marriage, there was a lot of chemistry between us and we would both get turned on from just being close to each other. When we got married, we would try and try but it wouldn’t get anywhere at all. We tried to seek help from doctors who say that it is a psychological problem rather than a physical one. My wife and her ex boyfriend were having fun one time and he put it inside of her which she didn’t want to happen but didn’t exactly say for it not to happen at the time however she did state previously to him that she did not want to have sex before marriage for religious reasons. When she was explaining it to me, her words were “before I had even got the chance to say no, it was already in and I didn’t even feel it. As soon as I realised, I told him to get off.” I don’t really agree with that part because she was naked infront him at the end of the day. I know men and when they’re in a relationship in that situation, shit will happen because the tension is so high from both sides. I understand it was a mistake from her part and she understands that too which is why I’m not hung up about it.
Anyways, she had opened up to me about it during our talking stage, which I appreciated and accepted her for it but did not realise how badly it was going to affect our relationship.
We’re now coming up to 2 years into our marriage and we haven’t tried doing it for the past 5 months.
I’ve always wanted to flirt with my wife and send dirty messages and pictures but it’s like what is all that for if we cant have sex? I really do love her and can’t see my life without her but at the end of the day, I have urges which are not being fulfilled. Can I really go my whole life in a marriage without sex? Am I just expecting sex to be this amazing thing as I haven’t had it before? If I leave her, it’ll make me feel like shit leaving her out to dry by herself.
We’ve been through therapy for a short while which only got a conversation going but didn’t really help the way I expected it to. We’ve spoken to a couple people who have had vaginismus about our situation but they say the usual things like oh it will get better and you guys will be able to have sex. How will that happen if there’s no effort being put into it? We’re both tired of trying and using dilators all for it to just be painful and not get any improvement whatsoever.
It’s messing me up inside. I’ve become soo moody to a point where I don’t want to go out. I would rather just stay at home and do nothing. My friends ask me all the time how marriage is and I have to lie and say it’s going good because our situation is so messed up. They even joke about sex and I have to go along with it because I can’t just tell them oh we haven’t had sex yet because they wouldn’t understand.
I haven’t cried in the past 6+ years even during family deaths but I cried about this. Shows how messed up I am inside about this whole situation.
I’m not the type of person to go out of my way and speak to someone about it because I’ve always been a reserved person. I keep things to myself which isn’t turning out good because it’s all just being bottled up. How long can I keep this up for? My wife and I have questioned how long will we last like this?
We’ve talked about divorce about 3-4 times and she has told me many times that she’ll leave me if it makes me feel better as I will just get married again and be able to have my needs met. I don’t want that but I want that. Somehow it makes sense to want both. I want her in my life and to be able to have sex. It feels like I’m asking for too much but isn’t that just the basic needs of men?
There’s a surgery called Botox or something which numbs the muscle that contracts in the vagina which has 100% success stories. It’s costing £3,000 but we can’t afford that. Both our families can’t pay for it. Seems like it’s costing £3,000 to fix our marriage but it’s something no one can afford. I don’t want to cry for help and beg for money.
Can someone tell me something. Anything please.

So my fiance and I have been struggling for a while now. Because back in december the house we are renting flooded. The landlord has been a POS and refuses to fix anything.
Now, we are at the point where WE NEED TO LEAVE. This home is unlivable and the LL is a fucking criminal. So I got a new job. 2hrs away. It pays good, good upward mobility, good lateral mobility, great environment. So we start looking for places closer to it. It's an expensive area but we'll work something out. I give the company my start date of june 3rd (3 weeks+ out at the time.) She says "I wish you would have talked to me about this first." Bearing in mind she's been party to the whole fucking endeavor. The first one to know after me. OH but the real reason is she didn't want to move to that area. She wants to stay here. "I don't think it's a good time to move." were her words. To which I replied "We. dont. have. a. choice." So she changed to "I want to stay in the area." Okay. But we need solutions here. She'd take a full time position at work. We'd find a place nearby. I guess, but we absolutely need a place asap and she needs to take the full time spot asap. Or we are boned. I kept saying how I hated to turn down such a good job...
Today we got a formal eviction notice from our LL and also our bid on a home was accepted (near our current jobs) and is about to be finalized. So I called the job and told them "Sorry, I can't take the job. My fiance has an opportunity at work and we need to stay here." Not quite honest, but close enough for them to get the picture and realize it's not me just jerking them around. She hears this. Calls me on it saying "No it was YOUR choice not to take the job." Uh... was it!? was it really? With her practically giving me an ultimatum over it? With her insisting we stay here? With her refusal to house shop in that area? Fucking WAS IT!?
We were getting ice cream and she was trying to make her point when she revealed that despite us agreeing almost 2 weeks ago she hasn't yet talked to anyone at work about going full time... not even a quick text... At which point I started to lose it and said "I'm done talking about this." but she pressed the issue and I had to state it again glaring daggers at her.
I'm so mad. I went to a separate room and every time I see her she looks like she's crying and just trying to guilt me into feeling bad but I'm so mad IDGAF. She deserves to cry right now. Making me give up an amazing career FOR HER, and then act like it was my decision from the start!?
Im over her gaslighting me. This isn't the first time she's tried... I'm so... ARGH!

IT IS POSSIBLE! This is the first and most important fact to remind yourself consistently. There is no step by step plan for this. But there are things you need to know and study up on. Im going to go into some facts and get into what you can do to help yourself maneuver through life and out of the reality surrounding your life that is gangstalking….
*COVERT NARCISSISM- these aren’t your typical narcissistic people… they are harder to detect and utilize more dark manipulation tactics, like coercive control, manipulating you to try to play the wounded healer role, and playing the caring friend role, giving gifts (don’t except gifts! More on that later) “helping” you so they can act like you use them and take credit for good things that come in your life and your accomplishments. HOW TO DEAL WITH THE ISSUE? Research! YouTube, Ben Taylor’s channel called raw motivations, YouTube also has information about dark psychology manipulation tactics and I would really dig DEEP into that, recognize the tactics of dark psychology being utilized by the people you interact with in your day to day life and then proceed to cut them off! And when they try to act confused understand that it’s more manipulation. Covert narcissists LOVEEEE to use an internal podcasting system to play their group podcasts through your devices with multiple audio output so you can hear them talking shit while they watch you, this way they can call you crazy and make you look crazy to everyone. HOW DO YOU SOLVE THIS? block the people that you hear, on your accounts and cut them off completely, also raise your vibrational frequency and the voices will fade. They will send you texts that have t”ypos” that have a period in between two words instead of a space or just a period where it wouldn’t belong, it’s a hack link and you need to block them immediately and turn off your phone immediately after blocking them and cut them off and out of your life immediately, they are hacking you to know what your plans are so they can Sabotage you, along with watching you to later fuck with your head.
*UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE NOW IN SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!!!!! These people are in cults for the most part…. Look up the INEE handbook. These cults have different names because there’s more than one cult. Ouiinee is the one I dealt with personally. They use a language of context, which means they use code words for many things. “School” is what they call the humiliation ritual they do on a victim they have targeted, “teachers” are your handlers, they break you down to control you and try to teach you that conformity is your only option, “work” is their word for organized operations against you that they document record so they can make money off your suffering, by selling footage on dark web platforms. They will do black magic on you for energy harvesting and to create blockages…. Ever get a gift given to you and then you lose your job or something you love, or become more and more trapped? Pray to your Devine god, call your guardian angels ( YouTube “dark knight of the soul” and “spiritual warfare”) they also supercharge their technology with dark magic to make you hear their internal podcasting system down to the core of your soul, they will also attack you in your dreams, and you just have to get closer to the Devine. Don’t fear being alone, isolate yourself to research and reconstruct yourself to vibrate higher. What helped me know what they were doing was the tarot readers on YouTube. REMEMBER THAT THE DEMONIC SIDE DOES’T ATTACK SOMEONE THAT HAS NO LIGHT!!! IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY THAT COMES FROM THE DEVINE LIGHT EMBEDDED IN THE FABRIC OF YOUR SOUL, YOU AREN’T A THREAT AND YOU CANNOT BE OF USE EITHER!! You must listen to your intuition and develop your discernment, your gut feeling will always tell you something is not right, and listening to it is more important than falling into the trap of not wanting to believe that someone you care about isn’t who they pretend to be, it’s a mask and they were never who you thought they were. It’s important to not be having sex with these people and it’s safer to stick with solo action until you are in the clear, this is one of the ways they attach energetic cords to you so they can harvest your energy and bind demonic entities to you and make their black magic more effective in keeping you vulnerable, stuck and stagnant in life
*THINGS WILL HAPPEN WITH NANOTECHNOLOGY. Strange fibers growing in your skin, seeing small dust particle drones, etc……. You need to move unannounced and mostly unplanned, tell no one, and move far enough away that it’s inconvenient for them travel to watch you, being trapped is an illusion. It may seem like they fallow you everywhere, also an illusion, they are simply just EVERYWHERE! This is where understanding dark psychology, setting firm boundaries,discernment, and intuition is important! Don’t disrespect your boundaries, when you do that they have the upper hand and will always take it farther, as soon as someone disrespects your boundaries, simply walk away and cut them off. Make room in your life for those that respect your boundaries. Not everyone is like that, also don’t over share your personal life, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for everything. They appear to be fallowing you to every town because you display behaviors that they can exploit. They can sniff out easy targets like a bloodhound. Have boundaries and tell people when they are disrespecting a boundary and if they don’t stop they you will cut them off, then fallow through.
*ADVANCED BIOFUELS- genetic engineering, feeling crawling under your skin, covered with a very oily/waxy substance, getting random cuts on your body like invisible razor blades are coming out of nowhere and doing driveby on your skin? Making you feel like you’re being attacked by parasites? That’s advanced biofuels and they have a code word for it called buty wax that refers to butamax you need to RELOCATE and this will eventually destroy your body and your immune system and they will keep putting it into your environment until you move. They can make it at home or get it from the dark web for cheap, this is a torture tactic and as long as they know your location you are not safe from this. To help treat the effects of this, do cleanses to eliminate toxins from your body and take natural herbal remedies that will boost your immune system, get sunlight and exercise, avoid drugs and alcohol.
*DONT USE HARD DRUGS they target people with addictions because people don’t want to believe that what is happening is true if you’re on drugs, people don’t take addicts seriously because they assume they they are just hallucinations, making them an easy target for this type of abuse. Also many people in the drug world target people so they can get more drugs as payment and use drugs without being the target. And numb their pain all at your expense.
*AVOID THE PEOPLE, PLACES, AND THINGS, avoid the people you know are your gang stalkers, avoid places like bars, strip clubs, and trap houses, and avoid things that trigger you to relapse on drugs or get involved with certain people, also avoid the people places and things that give you a bad gut feeling.

• I am open to answering any questions to the best of my knowledge. I know these things from experience dealing with these assholes for years, I have a heightened extra sensory perception, which means that I have spiritual gifts that have made it easier to practice divination (communicating with the deceased and spirit guides) spot on intuition that got me out of some very fucked up situations at last minute, as well as just knowing exactly what to collect samples of in my environment to look at under a microscope, and I also research everything that I feel is suspicious. Also look up the court documents for MK-ULTRA and research everything you don’t understand. I got away and nobody came to my rescue, I had to save myself and this is a great start. It goes way deeper than this but it’s too much to type here. Just ask me in the comments and I might be able to help with whatever answer you’re looking for.

I'm looking to buy a 30L Vevor ultrasonic cleaner to clean the side housings, rotor housings and the rotors themselves. Is there any reason it wouldn't work? The engine is 160.000 km old so its pretty dirty. I will, of course, clean the rotors with the carbon remover first but the ultrasonic cleaner seems like it would do a good job on the housings.

In the United States, the political landscape is predominantly dominated by two major parties: the Democrats and the Republicans. From the fiery debates on Capitol Hill to the polarized opinions of everyday citizens, it's easy to see these two entities as fundamentally opposed forces. However, a deeper examination reveals a more nuanced picture. Despite their apparent differences, the Democrats and Republicans are, in many ways, two sides of the same coin. Here’s why:

1. Shared Corporate Interests

Both parties are heavily influenced by corporate interests. Campaign finance plays a crucial role in this dynamic. Major corporations and wealthy donors often contribute to both parties, ensuring their interests are represented regardless of which party is in power. This symbiotic relationship results in policy decisions that favor big businesses and the wealthy elite, often at the expense of the broader public. Whether it's tax cuts for the rich or deregulation that benefits large corporations, both parties have shown a propensity to cater to their benefactors.

2. Military-Industrial Complex

When it comes to defense spending and foreign policy, there is significant overlap between the two parties. Both Democrats and Republicans support substantial military budgets and have a history of engaging in military interventions abroad. The bipartisan consensus on maintaining American military dominance often leads to prolonged conflicts and high defense expenditures, reflecting a shared commitment to the military-industrial complex.

3. Policy Continuity

Despite the rhetoric of change that often accompanies elections, many policies remain consistent across administrations. For instance, economic policies that favor neoliberalism, such as free trade agreements and deregulation, have been pursued by both Democratic and Republican presidents. Similarly, issues like mass surveillance and the war on drugs have seen continuity across party lines. This persistence indicates a fundamental agreement on certain policy frameworks, despite superficial differences.

4. Incrementalism Over Radical Change

Both parties tend to favor incremental reforms over radical changes. While Democrats may push for more progressive policies and Republicans for more conservative ones, both often avoid making significant structural changes that could disrupt the status quo. This can be seen in the handling of healthcare reform, climate change, and social justice issues. Instead of transformative solutions, both parties frequently opt for measures that tweak the existing systems without fundamentally altering them.

5. Political Elitism

The leadership of both parties often comes from a narrow, elite segment of society. Career politicians, many of whom come from wealthy backgrounds, dominate the upper echelons of both the Democratic and Republican parties. This creates a political class that is somewhat insulated from the everyday struggles of ordinary Americans. The focus tends to be on maintaining power and privilege rather than addressing the root causes of societal issues.

6. Media and Narrative Control

Both parties exert significant influence over mainstream media, shaping public perception and discourse. Media outlets, often aligned with one party or the other, contribute to the polarization by emphasizing partisan perspectives while downplaying the similarities. This controlled narrative keeps the public engaged in the partisan divide, diverting attention from the deeper systemic issues that both parties perpetuate.
While the Democrats and Republicans present themselves as distinct and opposing forces, a closer inspection reveals substantial similarities in their operations and objectives. Both parties are entrenched in a system that prioritizes corporate interests, military expenditure, and incremental change over radical transformation. This symbiosis maintains the status quo and often undermines the pursuit of significant social, economic, and political reforms. Understanding these parallels is crucial for those seeking to navigate the complexities of American politics and advocate for genuine change.

Hi, this is my first post here. This will mainly be about my sister, but context for my last relationship is probably important. TW: SA
Recently I was sexually assaulted by my at the time girlfriend. She admitted to the SA, and I keep proof of that. I was really emotionally drained by this relationship, and manipulated to the point where I began to apologize for being assaulted. I couldn't find the words to break up, but eventually I did. It was messy as we exchanged things left at eachothers' houses.
Anyways about me and my sister. I am adopted, and I have a Chinese sister I grew up with. When I was about 25, my father agreed to give me information about my parents and sister. I inevitably reached out to the sister and mother. At the time, I also included this girlfriend in my new relationship with these relatives, as I thought I'd marry this woman. We met my sister twice irl. My ex began to make my long-lost sister her best and almost only friend slowly.
I had a good connection with my sister and a decent one with my mother. Talks with my mother revealed my sister was diagnosed with BPD and refuses any form of treatment. It's a problem between them to the point they won't talk for months at a time. My sister went to college for 2 months before dropping out and leaving our mother with a large debt, because our mom told her to figure out her own transportation. I have only ever been diagnosed with depression.
I'm really making a long story short, but when I was touched, my sister was there for me. The day I broke up with my abuser, my sister turned on me. My mother was on my side AFAIK, we spoke for almost 2 hours on the phone. My ex stopped talking to me after requesting her belongings, and I ultimately had to ask her mother to help facilitate me getting my own things back. I left out several things that she can sell for money.
My sister turned on me after the breakup. She kept me up until like 3am talking about all the horrible things I am for the way things turned out with the ex. This side of her was totally new to me, and she was absolutely vicious and mean to me. She really flipped the whole thing on me. My ex lied to her and began calling me an alcoholic and a drug abuser [I run two businesses, and am no addict.] and that I hate my adoptive family which is a total lie. Ex knew the drug and alcohol accusations would get to my sister, as that is part of her trauma with both of our parents.
I spent hours talking to my sister, and no matter how I defended myself, no matter how I pointed out clear lies and inconsistencies, apologized, nothing was good enough for her. She had lost her 4 y/o earlier that morning, and was already emotionally on edge because of that, he snuck out while she slept. I felt double heartbroken, by my sister and my abuser. I have gone no contact with everyone other than my mother who I don't get to talk to often anyways. I have a pile of screenshots to defend myself. After hearing from people who I know love me, I decided this blood sister of mine is truly no sister in my eyes and I will always remember her siding with the person who SA'd me. I'm of course very sad about all of this although having them both out of my life already took a lot of stress off my mind after a few days. I should have never introduced that ex to them. Gossip got ridiculous.
I'd like opinions, I'd like to know if I'm doing the right thing, if I made the right choice, if I really am wrong here.. I am indeed in therapy, but I've not yet gotten to talk about this with them as it's so recent. Thank you. I'm sorry if the story seems scrambled, as it's hard to give full context to everything that happened. Willing to answer any questions. I don't want to lose my blood sister, but atp I also don't want to have her in my life now.

I'm a first time home buyer.
My house has a unico air conditioning system.
Replaced the intake filter in the home yesterday.
The sun rises to the rear of the house. So the rear faces east and front west.
It's a bi level home and it's listed as 2620 sqft. I'm assuming this includes the lower level. The concern mainly is the living room seen here with these windows:
https://i.imgur.com/FH30Whq.jpeg
Using a meat thermometer the air coming out seems to be about 60F.
It is 85F out. The main living space is reading 78F with the AC set to 68 just because it's a dumb AC unit and where it measures is significantly cooler.
I have temperature readers in basically every room.
The master bed room which has a west and south facing window measures at 73F. The hallway between it measures at 71 The west facing rooms measure between 75 and 78F.
The issue being the living room and dining room are open concept. Which measure at 78F. The kitchen which is next to the dining room and behind the living room with an east facing window and sliding window measures at 77F.
Is this soley because of the front of the house being west with lots of windows?
See this picture for the front of the house:
https://i.imgur.com/4tGQGRL.jpeg

This is super long but I need help badly.
I (f24) recently married the love of my life (m27). We had been together for 6 years before getting married. I’m mentally ill (Bipolar, ADHD, Anxiety, PTSD) but have been very stable for a year, even though I had an episode a few months ago. I used to use drugs and I’ve attempted suicide before. He’s been with me through it all. After he proposed, we had a long talk about me explaining that I need help. I basically gave him an out. I told him that I will do everything I can for us, but that I’ll need more from him than he will from me. He agreed and I reminded him that I’m stable now and that could change. But he’s lied to me a lot and won’t communicate.
I’ve worked really hard to get him to communicate with me, but he doesn’t do a great job at it. He’ll get upset over small things and take his anger out on me by being cold. I encouraged him to read a marriage book that my counselor recommended and he says he will but I have to constantly remind him. He also lies to me, which I’ve asked him not to. He’s also asked me to share less and less personal stuff with him. Like if I’m feeling suicidal or feel like self harming or any fights with my parents. Recently, I suggested we go to his parent’s house for Mother’s Day because I know he’s been missing his mom. It’s extremely stressful for me and I get severe anxiety with his family since I’m still learning their language and they don’t speak mine. We were running late, but he’s Hispanic so his family hadn’t even started on dinner by the time we were supposed to be there. I was taught by my parents to show up on time. I was taught by my husband and his family to show up whenever. So I asked my husband if I could have time to curl my hair and it would make us 20 extra minutes late. He said yes but I double checked and his answered stayed the same. He started acting weird, quiet, and stressed. It started stressing me out but we left. Then we stopped by the store to get flowers but they had none so he came into the car and slammed the door. It scared me so I teared up and he kept saying, “Let’s go home, I don’t want to go anymore.” I wanted to go home but I knew that he didn’t so I apologized for crying, put on his favorite song, scratched his back, and told him I’m going to continue driving to his parent’s and if he really wants to go home, tell me. He didn’t say anything and I was trying not to cry, but I was upset I ruined it and I was extremely overwhelmed. We got to his parent’s, he gave me a hug, then said “sorry.” He went inside like nothing was wrong so I acted happy too. We were only supposed to stay for 2 hours. 1.5 hours in my stomach started hurting bad so I asked my husband if we could leave. He said yes but we ended up staying 3 hours. On the drive home, he said that it was me curling my hair that made him stressed. I was really angry. We came home and he asked if I needed to vent about what was going on and that he wouldn’t get upset. I basically told him that he’s been rude to me lately, not taking care of me, and not appreciating the things I do. I explained how tonight he lied to me into thinking that something was okay, because he said it was okay, but he takes his anger out on me for it. He got very upset and told me he’s going out of town for work for 3 days. I told him I’m not okay with that. Going out of town for work is a rare thing and optional. Last time he did it, he didn’t tell me until I called him at the time he was supposed to be home (6pm) and he said he’s not coming home until 4am. When that happened, I asked him that next time he communicate it with me and accept trips no longer than 2 days. He agreed then. He basically told me that he wasn’t asking and he needs this to get away from me and he’ll be leaving Wednesday and come back early Friday. I told him we should compromise and he just ignored me. This all happened on Mother’s Day.
A few days ago, my mom got in a really bad car accident. I asked him to cancel his trip so he could help me with her and he said no and made up some bs excuse. I called out the excuse and told him to tell me the truth and he said he needs this. So I said okay and dropped it. Then last night I see him packing and ask him why he’s packing if he’s not leaving until Wednesday. He told me he’s leaving on Tuesday. I break down into tears and tell him this is not how relationships work. You can’t just do things on your own, lie, and not communicate and expect things to be okay. I also found out he gets back late Friday night. I felt heartbroken and had a panic attack. He asked me if there’s anything he can do to help and I told him he can cancel the trip and use $300 to take a weekend for himself at a hotel. It’s a fair compromise. At least I’ll be prepared for that. I needed his help on Tuesday (today) and had a plan to have a fun night together so I don’t bother him with any of my problems while I’m gone. He said no he’s going on the trip. He told me a month ago that because he does so much for me, he feels like he shouldn’t have to compromise. I started crying harder and told him that this isn’t good for my mental health and he starts punching the couch and then goes into our room and slams the door. I just sit on the couch afraid to move and afraid to make it worse. I convinced myself that the greatest gift I could give him is peace and just tell him it’s okay if he goes. I went in to tell him that and he replies that he “doesn’t care.” I told him I have some requests. I want him to text me every morning, have a 30 minute minimum phone call every night, that he reads the book for at least 30 minutes daily, that he attends a counseling session with me, and when he comes home for the weekend he apologizes and treats me better than he’s ever treated me. Most importantly, I asked that he would be kind to me that night so we could have a good memory. He said he can’t just pretend nothing’s wrong and be nice to me. He said he’s mad at himself, not me. I told him that he’s taking it out on me. He finally was nice. I asked for his help creating a plan in case I feel suicidal since my therapist is away for 2 weeks. He wouldn’t help me with it. That’s how we ended the night. I woke up this morning in pain. I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t eat, and couldn’t complete my responsibilities. He texted me good morning but they were just words. His words are meaningless and I got angry and said some things I regret. Like sending him a picture of his vows and calling them lies. He told me he would call me 3 hours ago but he hasn’t. I feel so much anger towards him but I need to keep it inside or else I’ll make the situation worse.
I truthfully want to kill myself. I feel like our relationship is over. I’ve been thinking of going to a hospital but I can’t miss work because he wants to get out of our current living situation and every dollar counts.
I don’t know how to make him communicate or be honest with me. He’s not always like this. For example, we had a great weekend together and he took such good care of me. When he acts like this, it can trigger a minor episode since I’m medicated because of all the stress. Which sucks because I need his support more and he withholds it. It all feels like a punishment for the venting I did.
I’m sorry this is long but I need some type of advice, hope, reassurance, or something to make me not want to die. I’m off today and can’t imagine going into work tomorrow or the next 2 days. I’m a registered behavior technician (RBT) that works with an autistic client. I’m so depressed how am I supposed to help anyone else?

I’m not sure what to do anymore about these disagreements I’ve been having with my best friend. I [25F] and my friend [24F] have been getting into disagreements lately due to differences of opinion, and to me, they haven’t been something that serious, or something out of my control. For context, we have been friends for 12+ years.
One example is that I tried to go visit her last summer (she lives a few states away from me), and things didn’t end up working out the way we had hoped. Also, she has a very strict schedule, where she can only have some holiday weekends off work. My job was very stingy about letting employees have time off, so I had to see if I could even get off for the dates that she wanted me to come. I had to wait a few weeks before I found out if they would let me have off. In addition to that, I have travel anxiety if I have to be in one of the biggest and busiest airports in the U.S. by myself. I had only flown once before this, and it was with my family, in small airports, so I wasn’t very familiar with what big airports were like or how to navigate them. I was afraid I would get lost and miss my flight and not know what to do, a long way from home. I am not good at thinking on the fly when I’m stressed out, so I expressed this to her. She said that it was easy, but I was still nervous. Meanwhile, I was waiting for my boss to confirm that I could take off, worried that I would be a few states away, still needing to get on another flight in a huge airport by myself, and missing it. The plane tickets kept getting more expensive over the next couple of weeks, and my friend got impatient with me for not booking the flights yet. Then she told me not to come, so I was pretty disappointed, but respected her wishes, because it was her house that I would be staying at. This came the morning after I found out that my time off was approved, and the tickets were a little steep, but I could still afford them. I was going to book the tickets that morning, but she was upset and told me not to, so I let it go. About a week or two later, she asked me again if I was coming. I said no, that she told me not to come, so I respected that and didn’t book the tickets. She got mad at me because she really wanted to see me, and said I was being selfish. I told her that now the tickets were more than I could afford ($1000 round trip), and that when my time off was approved, I wanted to come see her, but she told me not to come, so I thought she didn’t want me there. She said if I had just booked the tickets before then, they wouldn’t have been $1000, but I tried, and she didn’t want me to. She called me selfish, a bad friend, flaky, and said that she can’t count on me for anything, and kept telling me about other friends who came down to visit her (in a way that said “these people are my true friends”), but I wouldn’t. She minimized my travel anxiety that I mentioned to her, by saying she flies out of that airport all the time, and it wasn’t hard at all. I needed to think about someone other than myself and my anxiety. I was going to go through with it despite my anxiety because I was excited to see her, but it ended up not being able to happen. This is just one example, but there have been several the past couple of years.
In these disagreements that didn’t seem to be friendship ending ones, just differences of opinion about little things, things have been blown way out of proportion, and it feels like she is attacking my character. As I mentioned, she has called me flaky, selfish, a bad person and friend, she can never trust me to follow through (even though in 12+ years I have never bailed on her). She said that if I wanted my life to be ruined by anxiety and I never want to do anything worthwhile with my life, then go ahead. She has said I’m bitter, jealous of her, I don’t want her to be happy, I’ll never find a husband, I’m lazy, and I’m going to be left behind in life while she and other people succeed, and that I’d never get my license if I was like this (the last one was in response to me saying I had bad driving anxiety and I wanted to get my license, but it was really hard for me). Spoiler alert: I do have my license now. The list goes on.
Anyway, all that’s to say I’m exhausted by her continuing to put me down and saying I won’t succeed and that I’m a bad person, when we have a difference of opinion. It hurts me, and I’ve expressed that several times. I try to calmly push back and give her evidence to support that I’m not flaky and that I’ve been by her side through 12 years. She gets defensive and says “I’m sorry you feel that way”, and when I tell her it hurts me, and try to counteract the insults, she gets even more mad, and sometimes stone walls me for a few days. I really care about her, and we have had a lot of good memories and years spent together, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I somehow still don’t want to lose her. Advice?

I think a lot of Severance is really explained by how episode 2 opens. I've noticed this before, but kept forgetting to dive into it. But last night I put on episode 2 to fall asleep to, heard it again, and decided to look into it today.
So iMark shows up for work at the beginning of Ep 2 on his first full day as MDR supervisor. He's looking at the list of his new duties, he's doing all the office prep stuff, and the whole time they're playing "Joshua Fit the Battle of Jericho" as the music.
I truly believe there are no mistakes in this show. Everything has a reason.
So as I'm falling asleep last night, all I'm hearing is the music, I'm singing along in my head and thinking about being in second grade and performing this song with my class for one of the pagents, and then thinking, once again, "why this song?"
Some background: the Battle of Jericho itself, is where they marched around the city once a day for six days, blowing their ram horns (goat reference), and on the 7th day they marched around seven times, blowing their horns until the walls crumbled and they took the city. All fine and well. But... then I started thinking, "ok, but of all the songs they could use as Mark is setting up the office, WHY that song?"
More background: Joshua was the right hand/second behind Moses. He was with Moses when God gave Moses the commandments, but not when Moses wrote them down. Then Joshua was one of the 12 spies Moses sent into Canaan to see if they could settle there, and they were all asked to keep a good tone to the reports. The job of the spies was to map the land, see what the other settlements were doing, figure out if they could be taken over, and report back on the general state of what they had (agriculture, forestry, other resources, etc). When the spies returned, 10 gave mixed or negative reports, with only Joshua and Caleb giving glowing one. Because of this, only Joshua and Caleb were promised spots in the Promised Land. After Moses died, God appointed Joshua as his successor. Joshua then started leading them into Canaan to find places to settle, and the first battle that happened was the Battle of Jericho.
So... what if Petey is our Moses, and Mark is our Joshua? And Because Mark would have been with Petey as they wandered around, they learned what the floor was like, but then Petey wrote and left the "commandments" (aka the Map) when Mark wasn't there.
So now Mark is in charge. And though Petey/Moses is alive on the outside, and giving oMark some direction before he dies (about spying!), iMark is now his full successor inside. He was appointed by the Board/Cobel (the "god" in Severance, who, by the way, iMark never heard the voice of). At this point in time, for the innies, Petey is as good as dead. And, as an aside, there ARE 12 spies, because once they decide to join with O&D, there are 12 of them! (4 in MDR + 8 total in O&D) I double checked in the scene and have a picture.
So, the questions...

1. What is the battle of Jericho?
   
2. The next is the first battle of Ai, which they lose. What is it?
   
3. The first battle of Ai is lost because one of them looted JerJericho for their own personal gain, which they weren't supposed to do, and beyraybetrayed the group. So who is the betrayer here? Who gets "paid off" by the company?
   
4. What will be the successful battle for Ai? (Season 2 or 3?)
   

I just think with all the religious stuff with Kier, Cobel, etc., and the song, "mapping the land" and the innies trying to figure out what's going on and them spying... it's too similar.
To answer some of the questions:

1. I believe the Battle of Jericho is the innies breaching the MDR locked wall that gets installed. By the time it's installed, Petey is truly dead, so both oMark and iMark are his successor in the Moses/Joshua parallel. It's only at this point the battle could happen.

The MDE takes place, and Helly picks defiant jazz. That can symbolize the horns being played around the city walls. IIRC, the way iMark is dancing is even like a little marching step move. After Milchick leaves, the innie gang leaves MDR with Graner's keycard. The walls of Jericho have, indeed, come tumbling down! They then go and make a tentative deal to join forces with O&D, creating the full 12 spies.

1. The battle at Ai, that they lose the first time, could be them waking up in the final episode and it being thwarted. It's not clear (yet) what/how much they accomplished. TBD
   
2. The reason the first battle at Ai is unsuccessful is because someone betrayed the group at Jericho by looting. So, if this analogy holds, did someone decide to take a payoff of some sort after the first overtime contingency test in episode 9? Maybe to stay out of the breakroom? I'm not pointing fingers, but Milchick was offering a lot of new incentives to Dylan, so I guess we'll have to see?
   
3. If the 1st battle of Ai was the OTC in ep 9, then the second would have to be some sort of repeat. But in Joshua's story, the second time he goes with a small contingency and confronts the leaders, I believe (who think it'll be easy to take them down). Meanwhile, the city is lost and 12,000 perish. So... are they going to wake again but have a much better plan this time???
   

Some additional thoughts:
• I can see iIrv, when he puts the egg in the Kier book, being one of the spies being fed up with "the word of God" and broken promises.
• When iMark takes Helly on her "mental health walk" she eventually agrees to help clean up the map. And when they're with the big O&D group, they talk about trying to find out what else is going on down there, exploring, and mapping. This was the job of the 12 spies that Moses sent into Canaan.
• Even if you think about Petey, he looks old. Like older than he should, given what we could guess his age is. And he's wandering alone, lost in his own desert (the greenhouses) for awhile.
Also, he loves the robe. After Mark takes him in, we basically only see Petey in that robe from that point forward. It just reminds me of how many different biblical stories we re-enacted in various school plays, and the boys were always in their dads' bathrobes when they played any biblical characters.
We don't know a lot about Petey's real backstory, but when he leaves Mark's house after Cobel breaks in, he goes into one of his fugue states where he can't tell the difference between reality and being on the severed floor. He's holding the map he drew, and thinks he's following that as he walks across the bridge and into town. As though he is wandering, again, in his own mind desert. And Moses wandered, alone, then died on a mountain while looking over the Promised Land. Petey, after wandering alone, walks out of the convenience store, sees Mark in the distance, and collapses. So does Mark represent, in some way, the idea of the promised land (uncovering what Lumen is really up to on the severed floor) to Petey?
(My whole point there is that Petey really does fit the idea of being the Moses in this dissection of the story, lol)
TL;DR: could Petey be Moses, Mark be Joshua, and the whole show ultimately be about trying to lead the innies and their outies to their promised land (aka the truth of what's really happening on the severed floor)?
Anyway... it seems to fit. And I can't think of another reason to choose that song, out of any song they could have picked, to play during that scene. It was the real transfer of power, when iMark truly became the new leader, taking over even the mundane tasks of leadership in this culture that signaled, to them, that iPetey was gone.
Sure, it could be a stretch. But I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts, especially anyone who might be able to dissect the biblical stories better! 😊

I just upgraded to fiber Internet and think it time to upgrade my network. Quick notes about what I currently have:
I rent a split level which is not that big and I'm trying to get the best speeds I can from the upstairs office to the downstairs livingroom. Because I rent I am not running hard line period, I'm not in college anymore so I'm not dealing with cables running across the floor. I have 1Gb up and down with the option of 10Gb, and have a Nighthawk with WiFi 5. My current coverage is really good, but I am only able to get about 500Mb (650Mb max) wireless vs. 950 Mb (1.3Gb max) wired (the horror!).
Because my WiFi coverage is good throughout the apartment, I don't think a two node mesh is worth it. But, I imagine a couple of wireless routers with my primary access point in the office, and the bridge in the other room connecting my TV, PS5, etc. would work better.
The question I have is what option would work the best for a bridge network? I have a few options in mind, but would like some opinions on what might be best, or an option that I haven't thought of yet (again, No hard line).
First option: get two WiFi 7 routers and do what I've mentioned above. The problem with this is I can't seem to find any proper documentation on bridging. My older Nighthawk has the bridge option in the setup, work has a WiFi 6 Nighthawk and it doesn't offer bridging (as far as I can tell). I'm willing to spend $500'ish on a mesh pair, but only if I can set it up as an AP and a bridge. I'm not willing to spend $800'ish per Asus router that might be able to do what I'm looking for. Are there WiFi 7 routers that offer AP and Bridge capabilities?
Second option: DIY. Build my own computer with two 10Gb ports, install and learn OPNSense, MikroTik four port 10Gb switch, WiFi 7 AP, WiFi 7 bridge, another switch. While I'm against spending more than about $500 for option 1, this is a project and I'm willing to spend more for a fun project. I have seen WiFi 7 AP that are reasonably priced, but does bridging work with two of these? Is there a specific unit that I should get for the bridge side?
Third option: a simplification of 2. Keep the WiFi 5 Nighthawk for routing and maybe as an AP for non entertainment devices (phone, tablet, etc.), add a WiFi 7 AP and Bridge and switch. Again, what are some good devices that offer bridge capabilities in WiFi 7?
Fourth option: (insert History Channel Alien Guy picture) Microwaves. Honestly, this is basically the same as option 3, but with two microwave units. I am a fan of Cambium, but how will two high power, 150 mile range, units work blasting through 30' and a couple of walls? Turn the power way down and hope it's not ionizing?
Fifth option: just say the heck with WiFi 7 and go with WiFi 6e. I doubt that I'll go with 10Gb service, but will 6e get me enough throughput to take full advantage of my 950Mb service?
Some opinions would be nice from the community. Either about my ridiculous options above, or something I haven't thought of. Also, I don't like Ubiquity. I don't care if the community does. I would rather run a hard line, and as I already said that is not an option. Also, I typed this out on my phone and I'm not going to proofread it. I hope my ramblings make sense.

Post here and/or PM me with any questions. Shipping is $5. International is available, please discuss. Free samples with every purchase! Payment is by Venmo, CashApp or Zelle, PayPal must inquire.
Only swapping for 200mL Baccarat Rouge 540 Extrait and Louis Vuitton Symphony at this time.
All of my contact info as well as all of my bottles for sale, are available in my spreadsheet which you should bookmark and look at for a more updated inventory
Spreadsheet

	HOUSE	FRAGRANCE	SIZE	REMAINING	Notes/Condition	Price	Type
1	Amouage	Amber Sogara	12mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$335	Niche
2	Amouage	Incense Rori Attar	12mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$299	Niche
3	Amouage	Orris Wakan Attar	12mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$299	Niche
4	Amouage	Rose Aqor Attar	12mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$299	Niche
5	Amouage	Saffron Hamra Attar	12mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$299	Niche
6	Andy Tauer	Cologne du Maghreb	50mL	99% Full	First Release, Rectangular Clear Bottle; With box	$95	Niche
7	Bond No. 9	Central Park West	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
8	Bond No. 9	Dubai Jade	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$200	Niche
9	Bond No. 9	Hamptons	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
10	Bond No. 9	Madison Square Park	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
11	Bond No. 9	New York Nights	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Cap, No Box)	$165	Niche
12	Bond No. 9	NOMAD	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$169	Niche
13	Bond No. 9	Riverside Drive	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
14	Bond No. 9	So New York	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
15	Bond No. 9	Sutton Place	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
16	Bond No. 9	Wall Street	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$149	Niche
17	By Kilian	Bamboo Harmony	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$199	Niche
18	By Kilian	Black Phantom	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$199	Niche
19	By Kilian	Can't Stop Loving You	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$185	Niche
20	By Kilian	Forbidden Games	50mL	98% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$125	Niche
21	By Kilian	Gold Knight	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$199	Niche
22	By Kilian	Gold Knight	50mL	98% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$145	Niche
23	By Kilian	Good Girl Gone Bad	250mL	99% Full	Decanter; No Box	$650	Niche
24	By Kilian	Good Girl Gone Bad	50mL	98% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$135	Niche
25	By Kilian	Good Girl Gone Bad Eau Fraiche	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$180	Niche
26	By Kilian	Intoxicated	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$199	Niche
27	By Kilian	L'Heure Verte	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$135	Niche
28	By Kilian	Moonlight In Heaven	100mL	99% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray, No Box)	$199	Niche
29	By Kilian	Roses on Ice	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$135	Niche
30	Byredo	Eyes Closed	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$135	Niche
31	Byredo	Infloresence	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
32	Byredo	Lil Fleur	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
33	Byredo	Sunday Cologne	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
34	Chanel / Chanel Exclusif	Misia EdT	200mL	90% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$325	Niche
35	Chanel / Chanel Exclusif	No. 22 EdT	200mL	95% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$325	Niche
36	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	7 Mini Set as Pictured	7x 5mL	100% Full	7 Official Minis from 2010-2011... Mitzah, Milly-A-La-Foret, Granville, Cologne Royale, Eau Noire, New Look 1947	$180	Niche
37	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Bois D'Argent	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0V01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
38	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Cologne Royale	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1X01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
39	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Diorissima	7.5mL	100% Full	Official Mini; No Cannister - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
40	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Eau Noire	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1R01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
41	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Eden Roc	7.5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
42	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Granville	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0V01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
43	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Milly-La-Foret	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0W01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
44	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	New Look 1947	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1R01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
45	Clive Christian	C for Men	50mL	95% Full	Tester (No Box)	$169	Niche
46	Clive Christian	I Pour Femme (Woody Floral with Vintage Rose)	50mL	99% Full	Tester (No Box)	$169	Niche
47	Clive Christian	Rock Rose	50mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$229	Niche
48	Clive Christian	X Pour Femme	50mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$169	Niche
49	Creed	Aventus - 19P21 (Decant)	50mL	100% Full	Magnetic Cap Decant	$169	Niche
50	Creed	Aventus - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$235	Niche
51	Creed	Aventus Cologne - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$235	Niche
52	Creed	Aventus for Her - F Batch	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$175	Niche
53	Creed	Bois du Portugal	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$185	Niche
54	Creed	Carmina - F1449	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Cap or Box)	$199	Niche
55	Creed	Erolfa	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap	$185	Niche
56	Creed	Green Irish Tweed	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$195	Niche
57	Creed	Himalaya - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$185	Niche
58	Creed	Millesime Imperial	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$185	Niche
59	Creed	Original Santal	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$185	Niche
60	Creed	Original Vetiver	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$185	Niche
61	Creed	Queen of Silk	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Metal Cap	$275	Niche
62	Creed	Refillable Atomizer (5mL Leather Wrapped) Blue	5mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$85	Niche
63	Creed	Refillable Atomizer (5mL Leather Wrapped) Grey	5mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$85	Niche
64	Creed	Royal Oud - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$260	Niche
65	Creed	Royal Water - F238	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$180	Niche
66	Creed	Silver Mountain Water - 21V01A	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$180	Niche
67	Creed	Viking - F BATCH	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$190	Niche
68	Creed	Viking Cologne	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap	$185	Niche
69	Creed	Virgin Island Water	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Plastic Cap (No Box)	$195	Niche
70	Creed	White Amber - 17R01	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$155	Niche
71	Diptyque	Ombre Dans L'eau EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$100	Niche
72	Diptyque	Oyedo EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$100	Niche
73	Fragrance Du Bois	Brume du Matin	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$180	Niche
74	Fragrance Du Bois	Cannabis Blue	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$180	Niche
75	Fragrance Du Bois	Cannabis Intense	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$180	Niche
76	Fragrance Du Bois	HERITAGE	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$330	Niche
77	Fragrance du Bois	Lovers	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$325	Niche
78	Fragrance Du Bois	New York Fifth Avenue	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$180	Niche
79	Fragrance Du Bois	SAHRAA	100mL	99% Full	Full presentation with Box	$399	Niche
80	Fragrance Du Bois	Siberian Rose	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$180	Niche
81	Frederic Malle	Cologne Indellible	100mL	85% Full	Full presentation with Box	$175	Niche
82	Frederic Malle	Eau de Magnolia	10mL	100% Full	Official Travel Spray	$55	Niche
83	Frederic Malle	Heaven Can Wait	100mL	100% Full	Brand New In Box	$255	Niche
84	Frederic Malle	Monsieur	10mL	95% Full	Official Travel Spray	$55	Niche
85	Frederic Malle	Promise	100mL	100% Full	Brand New (Not Sealed)	$315	Niche
86	Gallagher	Bergamot Silk	100mL	99% Full	No Box	$79	Niche
87	Giorgio Armani / Armani Prive	Pierre de Lune	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$155	Niche
88	Giorgio Armani / Armani Prive	Rose Alexandrie	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$155	Niche
89	Guerlain	Angelique Noire	30mL	100% Full	Mini Bee Bottle Decant	$215	Niche
90	Guerlain	Angelique Noire	10mL	100% Full	Tall Glass Decant	$55	Niche
91	Guerlain	French Kiss	75mL	98% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$450	Niche
92	Guerlain	Frenchy Lavende	200mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$399	Niche
93	Guerlain	Herbes Troublantes	200mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$339	Niche
94	Guerlain	Jasmin Bonheur	200mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$369	Niche
95	Guerlain	Neroli Outrenoir	200mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$339	Niche
96	Guerlain	Spiriteuse Double Vanille	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$399	Niche
97	Guerlain	Tobacco Honey	200mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$399	Niche
98	Hermes / Hermessence	Agar Ebene	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$150	Niche
99	Hermes / Hermessence	Cedre Sambac	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$165	Niche
100	Hermes / Hermessence	Epice Marine	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$170	Niche
101	Hermes / Hermessence	Myrrhe Eglantine	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$185	Niche
102	Hermes / Hermessence	Poivre Samarcade	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$170	Niche
103	Hermes / Hermessence	Santal Massoia	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$170	Niche
104	Hermes / Hermessence	Vetiver Tonka	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$175	Niche
105	House of Sillage	Nouez Moi	75mL	99% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$120	Niche
106	I Profumi di Firenze	Caterina De Medici	50mL	99% Full	No Box	$35	Niche
107	Initio	High Frequency	90mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$180	Niche
108	Initio	Oud for Happiness	90mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$189	Niche
109	Jo Malone	English Pear & Freesia	30mL	100% Full	No Box	$50	Niche
110	Le Labo	Bigarade 18 - Hong Kong Exclusive	50mL	100% Full	Full Bottle, Retail Label	$299	Niche
111	Le Labo	Mousse de Chene 30 - Amsterdam City Exclusive	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$259	Niche
112	Le Labo	Oud 27	50mL	99% Full	Full presentation with Box	$169	Niche
113	Le Labo	Santal 33	50mL	100% Full	Full Bottle, Retail Label	$135	Niche
114	Liquides Imaginaires	Bloody Wood	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$85	Niche
115	Liquides Imaginaires	Desert Sauve	100mL	99% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$85	Niche
116	Liquides Imaginaires	Fleur de Sable	100mL	99% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$85	Niche
117	Liquides Imaginaires	Fleuve Tendre	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$85	Niche
118	Liquides Imaginaires	Sancti	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$85	Niche
119	Loewe	7 EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$90	Niche
120	Loewe	Aire Anthesis	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$100	Niche
121	Loewe	Esencia EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$120	Niche
122	Loewe	Esencia Elixir	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$200	Niche
123	Loewe	Man 001 EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$120	Niche
124	Louis Vuitton	Contre Moi	100mL	99% Full	Tester (Bottle may show some damage, Cap has no paint/is peeling)	$385	Niche
125	Louis Vuitton	Sun Song	100mL	98% Full	Tester (Bottle is scratched, may have an engraving, and Cap has no paint/is peeling)	$425	Niche
126	Louis Vuitton	Sun Song	200mL	98% Full	Dummy Bottle, filled with real juice. I don't think it's refillable.	$750	Niche
127	Maison Crivelli	Bois Datchai	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$169	Niche
128	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	724	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$355	Niche
129	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	724	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$165	Niche
130	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	A la Rose	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$315	Niche
131	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Amyris Femme EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$150	Niche
132	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Amyris Femme Extrait	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
133	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Amyris Homme EdT	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
134	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$135	Niche
135	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$145	Niche
136	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
137	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$135	Niche
138	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$125	Niche
139	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis Cologne Forte	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$225	Niche
140	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis Cologne Forte	35mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$90	Niche
141	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
142	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$215	Niche
143	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$135	Niche
144	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$125	Niche
145	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$215	Niche
146	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
147	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$160	Niche
148	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Baccarat Rouge 540 EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$209	Niche
149	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Baccarat Rouge 540 EdP	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$399	Niche
150	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Feminine Pluriel	200mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$335	Niche
151	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Feminine Pluriel Special Edition Extrait	70mL	100% Full	Full Presentation With Mirror Display	$499	Niche
152	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Gentle Fluidity Gold	200mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$365	Niche
153	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Gentle Fluidity Gold	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$165	Niche
154	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	L'eau a La Rose	35mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$90	Niche
155	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	L'Homme a la Rose	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$165	Niche
156	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Masculin Pluriel	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$165	Niche
157	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$170	Niche
158	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Extrait	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$190	Niche
159	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Silk Mood EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$170	Niche
160	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Silk Mood Extrait	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$190	Niche
161	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Petit Matin	70mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$145	Niche
162	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Petit Matin	35mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$80	Niche
163	Maison Lancome	Orange Bigarades	100mL	100% Full	Full presentation with Box	$229	Niche
164	Mark Birley	Charles Street	75mL	97% Full	Travel Version	$90	Niche
165	Memo Paris	French Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
166	Memo Paris	Italian Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
167	Memo Paris	Lailabella	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
168	Memo Paris	Marfa	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
169	Memo Paris	Moon Fever	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
170	Memo Paris	Oriental Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box or Cap)	$115	Niche
171	Mind Games	As-Suli's Diamond	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$249	Niche
172	Mind Games	Gardez	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$249	Niche
173	Mind Games	Vieri	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$249	Niche
174	Mizensir	Bois de Mysore	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
175	Mizensir	Cologne de Matte	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
176	Mizensir	Ideal Oud	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
177	Mizensir	Rose Exaltante	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
178	Mizensir	Tonic Water	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
179	Mizensir	Vert Empire	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$155	Niche
180	Oh Mon Dieu!	L'objet	100mL	100% Full	Full presentation with Box	$125	Niche
181	Oliver and Co.	M.O.U.S.S.E.	50mL	99% Full	Limited Edition 87/133	$110	Niche
182	Parfums de Marley	Haltane	125mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$165	Niche
183	Parfums de Marley	Layton	125mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$199	Niche
184	Parfums de Marley	Valaya	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap (No Box)	$175	Niche
185	Penhaligon's	Elixir	100mL	90% Full	No Box	$250	Niche
186	Penhaligon's	Petra	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$200	Niche
187	Penhaligon's	Cairo	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$220	Niche
188	Pomare's Stolen Perfume	Angel's Share	9mL	70% Full	No Box	$40	Niche
189	Precious Liquid	Iced Juniper	75mL	95% Full	Full presentation with Box (Limited Edition)	$135	Niche
190	Roja Dove	Creation-E Essence de Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
191	Roja Dove	Danger Pour Femme	50mL	100% Full	99% Full with Box	$275	Niche
192	Roja Dove	Elixir	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$175	Niche
193	Roja Dove	Elixir Essence Pour Femme	100mL	100% Full	No Box	$175	Niche
194	Roja Dove	Qatar	50mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$339	Niche
195	Roja Dove	Scandal Essence de Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
196	Roja Dove	United Arab Emirates (UAE)	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$300	Niche
197	Roman Monegal	L'eau de Rose	50mL	97% Full		$70	Niche
198	Santa Maria Novella	Sandalo	100mL	95% Full	No Box	$80	Niche
199	Sospiro	Deep Amber Ocean	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, No Box	$170	Niche
200	Sospiro	Deep Amber Ocean	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$180	Niche
201	Sospiro	Vibrato	100mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$265	Niche
202	Spirit of Dubai	Bahar	50mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap and Travel Case	$175	Niche
203	Spirit of Dubai	Rimal	50mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap and Travel Case	$175	Niche
204	Tiziana Terenzi	Attar Cas	13mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$225	Niche
205	Tiziana Terenzi	Chiron	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$165	Niche
206	Tiziana Terenzi	Draconis	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$135	Niche
207	Tom Ford	Azure Lime - A71	50mL	99% Full	Original Formula	$349	Niche
208	Tom Ford	Beau de Jour	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$700	Niche
209	Tom Ford	Ebene Fume	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$165	Niche
210	Tom Ford	Fleur de Portofino	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$135	Niche
211	Tom Ford	Fougere Platine	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$700	Niche
212	Tom Ford	Neroli Portofino	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$140	Niche
213	Tom Ford	Noir de Noir	100mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$185	Niche
214	Tom Ford	Plum Japonais	50mL	100% Full	Decant (No Box)	$215	Niche
215	Tom Ford	Rive Ambre - A63	50mL	99% Full	Original Formula	$225	Niche
216	Tom Ford	Rose de Amalfi	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$135	Niche
217	Tom Ford	Santal Blush	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$140	Niche
218	Tom Ford	Soleil Neige	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$700	Niche
219	Tom Ford	Tobacco Vanille	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$245	Niche
220	Tom Ford	Tubereuse Nue	50mL	100% Full	BNIB, Sealed	$125	Niche
221	Tom Ford	Vanille Fatale	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$180	Niche
222	Tom Ford	White Suede	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$700	Niche
223	Washington Tremlett	Black Tie	100mL	95% Full		$125	Niche
224	Widian	II Black	50mL	99% Full	Tester (No Box)	$149	Niche
225	Yves Saint Laurent	Babycat	125mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$300	Niche
226	Acqua di Parma	Magnolia Nobile	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$95	Designer
227	Brunello Cucinelli	Pour Homme	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$90	Designer
228	Caron	Pour un Homme de Caron Le Matin	125mL	100% Full	Opened to test, sprayed once	$69	Designer
229	Caron	Pour un Homme de Caron Le Soir	125mL	100% Full	Opened to test, sprayed once	$69	Designer
230	Caron	Pour Un Homme Impact Parfum	75mL	97% Full	No Box	$175	Designer
231	Chanel	Allure Pour Femme EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
232	Chanel	Bleu de Chanel - Aftershave Balm	100mL	99% Full	No Box, Minor Cosmetic Damage	$55	Designer
233	Chanel	Bleu de Chanel - Aftershave Lotion	100mL	99% Full	No Box, Minor Cosmetic Damage	$55	Designer
234	Chanel	Coco EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$85	Designer
235	Chanel	Coco Mademoiselle - Moisturizing Body Lotion	200mL	99% Full	No Box	$55	Designer
236	Chanel	Coco Noir	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$100	Designer
237	Chanel	Cristalle Eau Vert EdT Concentree	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Designer
238	Chanel	Cristalle EdP	50mL	95% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Designer
239	Chanel	Gabrielle Essence	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$100	Designer
240	Chanel	No. 19	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$115	Designer
241	Chanel	No. 5 Eau Premiere	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$85	Designer
242	Chanel	No. 5 EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$95	Designer
243	Chanel	Platinum Egoiste	75mL	99% Full	SPLASH, NOT SPRAY Older Formulation	$125	Designer
244	Christian Dior	Dior Homme Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed (Packaging may be slightly damaged)	$175	Designer
245	Christian Dior	J'adore in Joy EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap, No Box	$60	Designer
246	Floris	Cefiro	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap, No Box	$59	Designer
247	Gucci	Gucci Guilty Absolute	90mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$70	Designer
248	Guerlain	Habit Rouge Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$130	Designer
249	Guerlain	L'Homme Ideal Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$130	Designer
250	Guerlain	L'instant de Guerlain Pour Homme EXTREME	10mL	100% Full	VINTAGE BLACK RIM - DECANT	$50	Designer
251	Guerlain	Vetiver Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$130	Designer
252	Hermes	Twilly	80mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
253	Jo Malone	Amber & Lavender	30mL	90% Full	No Box	$52	Designer
254	Jo Malone	English Oak & Redcurrant	30mL	80% Full	No Box	$49	Designer
255	Jo Malone	English Pear & Freesia	100mL	100% Full	Brand New with Gift Box and Gift Set (Body Wash, Body Lotion)	$180	Designer
256	Jo Malone	Rose & White Musk Absolu	100mL	100% Full	No Box	$180	Designer
257	Jo Malone	Scarlett Poppy Cologne Intense	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$130	Designer
258	Lalique	Ombre Noire	100mL	100% Full	Sealed	$100	Designer
259	Maison Martin Margiela	Replica - Jazz Club	100mL	100% Full	Tester (No Box)	$80	Designer
260	Thierry Mugler	A*MEN	100mL	99% Full	Rubber Flask; No Box	$75	Designer
261	Amouage	Cristal and Gold Ladies	50mL	95% Full	Vintage, Incredibly hard to find. Full presentation in nice condition	$399	Vintage
262	Cartier	Santos EdT	100mL	100% Full	Spray; Refill.	$299	Vintage
263	Chanel	Gardenia EdT	100mL	100% Full	Vintage; Sealed	$350	Vintage
264	Crabtree & Evelyn	Crabtree & Evelyn Extract of West Indian and Sicilian Limes	125mL	100% Full	Full presentation with Box	$209	Vintage
265	Dunhill	Cologne	125mL	99% Full	Vintage; Splash	$100	Vintage
266	Ermenegildo Zegna	Haitian Vetiver	125mL	99% Full	No Box	$300	Vintage
267	Escada	Pour Homme Aftershave	75mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$165	Vintage
268	Escada	Pour Homme Aftershave	125mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$240	Vintage
269	Floris	Special 127	100mL	98% Full	Vintage; Dark Blue Box., 2 Royal Warrants, Vintage Version	$70	Vintage
270	Fragonard	Zizanie	240mL	80% Full	Shaker bottle (Splash, not spray) no box. At least 80% Full.	$240	Vintage
271	Geo F Trumper	Ajaccio Violets	100mL	99% Full		$40	Vintage
272	Gucci	Envy Aftershave	50mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$140	Vintage
273	Gucci	Envy Aftershave	100mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$215	Vintage
274	Gucci	Rush for Men	50mL	100% Full	Full Presentation; These do not come fully filled	$190	Vintage
275	Gucci	Rush for Men Aftershave	100mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$140	Vintage
276	Guerlain	Heritage EdT	200mL	100% Full	New; Vintage; Splash. 1991 Bottle.	$225	Vintage
277	Guerlain	Samrasa EdP	50mL	100% Full	No Box	$109	Vintage
278	Guerlain	Samsara EdT 1992-1993 Formulation	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap; No Box	$109	Vintage
279	Jean Desprez	Bal a Versailles	9 Oz	70% Full	Vintage; Splash; No Box Open to offers on this enormous bottle.	$135	Vintage
280	Lacoste	Eau de Sport Vivifiante	100mL	99% Full	No Box	$110	Vintage
281	Lacoste	Land	100mL	99% Full		$130	Vintage
282	Nino Cerruti	Fair Play Pour Homme	100mL	99% Full	Full presentation with Box	$275	Vintage
283	Paco Rabanne	Eau de Metal	20mL	100% Full	Vintage; Mini	$15	Vintage
284	Revillon	Pour Homme Eau de Toilette Super Concentrate	60mL	99% Full	Atomizer	$190	Vintage
285	Revillon	Pour Homme Eau de Toilette Super Concentrate	90mL	99% Full	Atomizer	$290	Vintage​

I created this account, to vent some of my frustration. I won't be commenting, looking, or editing it after I post. No, I'm not a bot, but sometimes I wish I was.
One of my best friend tried to kill himself, he left a farewell message which wasn't supposed to be interpretted as that, but I understood. I called every hospital in the area looking for his name, until I found one. When I went to visit him, I wasn't sure if I'd be finding him dead or alive. I worked up the courage to walk into the room, and found that he was surprised to see me. With so much frustration and anger in my mind, I just started yelling at him, wondering what the fuck he was thinking and why he didn't just call me. He couldn't answer, but a tear rolled down his cheek and my anger subsided and turned into grief, depression, then sorry. I asked him, why and he said told me I knew why. He struggled with major depression for years, like me. I tried my best to be a friend and help him out of that hole, but nothing I did would help. I thought maybe if I put my depression to the side and helped him with his I'd find a way of curing my own. I was never overt with any of the actions, I lent out a helping hand when neeeded and hung out with him when he was down. We've both had terrible traumas— his from neglect and financial issues, and mine from abuse and bullying, but I thought because we both suffered we would be able suffer together. I visitied him when his family was there as I was the nuclear detterent. I watched his mother and brother hurl insults at eachother while I tried to lighten the mood, the brother cared for him, the mother didn't. It seemed like she was there, just to say she showed up. I've known her for a while, she's callous, she always has a couple boyfriends on her side, but she never tries to keep them around. When the brother and the mother were around the entire room was filled with a negative aura and you can feel it, it was never pleasant and when I left tensions only raised. I visited him when work allowed me to, but after he was transferred to the psych ward, my schedule didn't fit in with any of the visitation hours so I never could. When he left the psych ward, what followed were days of him visiting my workplace during my lunch hours telling me that he would attempt it again, "it could happen any day now." My words seemed so hollow and breathless as I tried to sounding them out. I questioned myself, "What could I say? What could I do? Why is he telling me this?" This happened almost everyday for a couple of months, he would visit me and utter the same words. One day, I asked him, "How do you want me to respond to this" and to his non-challant reply was, "I don't know take it as you well." He was always forgetful, so I hoped he would forget about me too. Some nights we would get boba and he would tell me I was part of the reason he did it. I didn't know how to respond and I still don't. What did I do? I was completely and utterly drained of any emotions, sadness, depression, anger, grief. He was a boa constrictor wrapping it's body around mine smothering me to death. Nothing mattered to me, and so one day, I left without saying a word. He is still alive and hasn't tried anything since then, to which I am thankful. But I never answered his texts or calls. In this rough patch, I started unravelling because everything around me was unfolding.
I was still talking to the above friend, during this time when I got a call from my brother, "She's in the ER because she OD'D. Can you bring some blankets?" He was completely devoid of any urgency or emotion, I understand he doesn't handle them very well, but the calmness of voice only irritated me and made my bite my tongue til I bled. My mind was blank as I sped down the highway at 100mph. I remember the flickering lights as I paced through the hallway, a nurse recognized me from my personal life, but I brushed her off saying that I didn't know her as she was part of our church. Our family is conservative and if this got out, then all eyes would be on us with looks of disappointment and shame. I couldn't tell anyone. I hesitated, a roller coaster of emotions overwhelmed me as I grew closer and closer to the room. The same ones that had enveloped me with my best friend, but this one was brought on by so much shame. "How didn't I see this coming? What sort of brother am I, that I can't protect my only sister? Please... Please... Please.. don't be dead." I stopped in the hallway, where my brother stood and he just said he was getting a sandwhich. I watched him go as he walked away, not an ounce of grief, but after I saw him I noticed there was confusion and sadness in his face, but his words remained neutral as if he were trying to keep it together. I approached the door and hesitated right before going in, rubbing tears that were running down my face and collecting myself the best way I could. I saw her lying there, so helpless, barely alive, and struggling to breathe. My stomach sunk, my heart dropped, and my lungs collapsed. No physical pain, no abuse I had suffered, no moment would have prepared me for this, but as I looked at her she looked at me. I walked over and remarked, "This is because I didn't kill the spider, isn't it?" She laughed in pain the best she could, and my Dad added into and gave me a small slap on the head laughng as well. I saw her arms and saw the cuts and how deep they were. The heart monitor started fading and transforming into ringing within my ears. I sat down and talked to my Mom and Dad to see what we needed. They asked for blankets, which I forgot, and something to eat. I told them to go home as I'd just stay here to watch over her. They both said no at first, but my Dad reluctantly agreed after realizing there was no one to watch his business the next day. I nearly lost my mind. Your daughter is laying here in the ER, and you still need someone to watch the business? I volunteered to do it, but I stayed in the hospital until the I had to leave as I watch the seconds turn into minutes, the minutes to hours. The clock has never moved that slow before, I felt like I was frozen in every moment. It was only after I had learned she was raped three times. My blood boiled, my face turned hot, as I was heading to my car demanding who did it. He'd done this mutliple times. throughout the year, and I had no idea. I reached a point where I stormed out of my house, but my brother asked me where I was going. I told him that I was going to find him, and beat the living shit out of them. He stopped me and told me, that that's why she didn't tell me. I didn't understand it it all, why he wasn't hopping into the car with me to this mother fuckers house after knowing all of this. He didn't want me to know because I'd go over to the hospital demanding her and asking her who did it. He was right. I calmed down, but if he wasn't there I would have found the fucker and I would have beaten the living shit out of them. I told my best friend what happened, and he tried to keep me calm and tried to get my mind off of things. We went to a friends birthday party and I could still hear the heart monitor ringing as I watched everyone have fun, eat, and party over this friends birthday. I felt like an extra, just playing the part of someone who's there to be there. I laughed and made jokes, but this hole in my chest kept getting wider and wouldn't close. I hadn't slept in three days, and the pain was like I was being eaten alive without being able to scream in agony. When we returned to the hospital, she was moved to a different facility, because she wasn't needed in the ER any longer. The nurses asked me to leave as they said that visiting hours were over, but they fell upon empty ears. I wasn't moving. I stayed there all night, and woke up the next morning. I don't remember falling asleep, I just blacked out at one point. I could tell you that when I woke up, all I saw where white walls, white floors, and white sheets. The typical hospital smell that filled the air with ammonia as it burned through my lungs. The heart monitor started to lose it's preptual ring and began to sound normal again. None of these details are important, but I remember them so well as if I'm living that moment right now. This was my second close call. She was home within the next week, but this trauma made our family a lot closer— but, there's a new edition to the family in the shape of an elephant, he doesn't speak to us and we don't speak to him, but he's always there. I haven't been able to look at her the same way, because I'm not sure what will set her off, and the scars on her arms still make me sick to the stomach.
My second best friend was tearing at the seams while all this was happening and I was trying to get his life back together, but something just wasn't clicking with him. I saw him descend into an abyss that I couldn't pull him out of, he started stalking his ex, binge drinking at work, in public, etc. , doing more and more drugs. I went to his rented out room where the landlord would help him do his laundry, cook for him, allow him to have pets even though she was against it. She was kind to him, and I had hoped that might have had some affect on his mental state, but he couldn't get out of his head. He nose dived and I tried to bring him back up, but I couldn't so I gave up. I was emotionally and physically exhausted from everything, in a puddle of a quicksand trying to get out, the more I resisted the further it pulled me down. I was in a boxing match with hit after hit after hit, I just couldn't stand it anymore, but this man gave me a family when mine abused me, he gave me a home when I didn't want to go back to mine, he allowed me to express myself and be free when I was in a position where everyone wanted to chain me, he became a friend when I needed one the most. I pleaded with my group to look after him a little bit more, we could take shifts, but no one cared or wanted to listen. "You can't help someone who can't help themselves." After his nose dive, I told him I couldn't do this anymore and I'd rather kill myself to watch him destroy himself, so I stopped speaking to him— after all, you can't help someone who can't help himself. I removed myself from the group and started working on myself. It had been a year since we last talked, he wrote one story on Instagram that caught my attention, "Maybe everyone was right about me." By this time, I had finally collected myself, I was in a good place, and I had every intention of talking with him again and helping him get back on track if I could, whether it be reaching out or just treating him like a person as if it were a typical Tuesday. As I was typing in the words, I stopped myself and said I needed a little bit more time. I was in the midst of a massive project at work that needed to be completed in two days. The next day, I got a text from one of the mutal friends in the group I had left, "He's dead. They found his body in his room." I stared at the phone for a few seconds. My mind blank. I just put my phone down and kept working.
I haven't talked to a therapist about any of this, but I have mentioned it. None of them seem interested in exploring it so it must not be that important, but I feel the need to get this burden off my chest. These three events happened concurrently, and after the dusk settled, I looked closer into all of the close relationships I had, and how many of my closest friends had ended up hurting themselves in a way to "heal." Nearly all of them. They would vent their struggles to me, and I always became an ear because people just need to be heard. Maybe they had problems before I met them, maybe they didn't. I'm probably stretching my own importance in their lives, but the nagging tick that bothers me is that I feel like I am the common denominator.

There is nothing funnny about murder rape and killing children what makes you such a big authority on what goes on in Israel for their defense of their people and Country? Iran's motto kill America and kill Israel . Who do you think allowed them to make their billions in order to carry out their murders? President both side of the coin joe who lifted the Iran oil embargo and allowed Iram to make billions help wage the war against Israel Just like "corrupt joe" stirs the bigotry hate pot to get votes he also stired the pot for the Hamas Israel war funding both sides of the coin for his own personal gain. The chief prosecutor of the International Criminal Court has applied for arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Hamas's leader in Gaza for war crimes. Karim Khan said there were reasonable grounds to believe that both men bore criminal responsibility for war crimes and crimes against humanity from at least 7 October 2023. What's missing here America in this inquiry is the following, seems to me a 3rd party is missing from this inquiry the one who allowed the funds to help Iran fund this hate "attacks and murders" from the beginning hense the root cause to fund a war from both sides should be an issue of concern.... Enjoy your dinner at the White House with the rest of the Jewish haters. Hollywood pretenders trying to controL a corrupt war narrative this is not film making but reak war wake up.....