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2024.05.21 15:01 SharkEva AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a stuffed animal for her high school graduation, when both of my biological children got one?

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/evastraea posting in AmItheAsshole
Concluded as per OOP
2 updates - Long
Original - 21st June 2022
Update1 - 27th June 2022
Comment from OOP - 27th June 2022

AITA for not giving my adopted daughter a stuffed animal for her high school graduation, when both of my biological children got one?

I [49f] have 3 children, [22f], [19m], and [18f]. My oldest are my biological children from a previous marriage, and my youngest I became a mother to at the age of 2 when I married her widowed father. She has only ever called me mom, and I officially adopted her at the age of 12.
Now on to the issue with the stuffed animals: years and years ago, when I was only 20 and in college, I worked at a children's museum. I adored the job and working with kids, and had the idea to buy stuffed animals from the gift shop to be my future-kids' first stuffed animals whenever they were born. I had gotten a stuffed bear at birth that was very special to me growing up, and on my 18th birthday my parents gifted me a duplicate they had bought way back when and kept for me all these years. I found this so special, and wanted to do something similar, so I bought 6 stuffed animals from the museum's gift shop; 3 to be given at birth, and 3 duplicates. I had no idea at the time how many kids I would have, but I knew I wasn't planning on having more than 3, so I didn't get any more.
My first daughter received the stuffed animal I selected for her while pregnant. Then, between her birth and the birth of my son, I miscarried. The experience was deeply traumatic for me, especially as I miscarried in my second trimester, and I buried my baby with the stuffed animal they would have gotten. I kept the duplicate to for comfort, to cuddle and hold.
Finally, my son was born and received the last of the stuffed animals I had set aside so many years ago. Now, here's where I may be the asshole. For both my daughter and son's high school graduations, I surprised them with the duplicates, for them to take to college with them and compare against the stuffies they've been loving on their whole lives. Both were very moved by this, and took both (original and duplicate) to school with them.
My youngest, however, never received a stuffed animal, and so when her graduation celebration rolled along I had no duplicate to gift her. I watched her unpack all her gifts, and her face fall when she got to the last one and realized. She didn't really say anything, just got this super sad look on her face, and excused herself to her room. I followed to ask what was wrong, but she said she didn't want to talk to me, so her father went in instead.
According to him she cried to him that she didn't feel as loved by me as her siblings, and as much a part of the family - the unwrapping of her siblings' stuffed animals were very emotional events, and she had had the expectation she'd be getting the same. In hindsight I could have easily done something similar for her whenever I first came into her life, even if it wouldn't have been from the museum, but I just didn't think of it. She has been cold to me this entire last week, and I feel so terrible, I've offered to take her out to a special dinner the two of us to make amends but she turned me down. AITA?
Edit: the votes are in, and I am definitively TA. Many of you are suggesting that I get her a stuffie that reminds me of her, or maybe to get her two so she can continue the tradition with her future kids. But I think what I will do is gift her the duplicate my parents gifted me of my special plush bear I received at birth, which is one of my most treasured possessions, and deeply meaningful to me. Thank you all for the advice, it is genuinely appreciated.

Comments

Mrs-Addams
YTA. Nothing quite says “you’re not like my other kids” like leaving her out of a family tradition when her turn came. I’m sorry about the loss of your baby and understand why you kept that stuffed animal for your own, however, the tradition could have started with her when she joined your family at age 2, or when you formally adopted her.

SmartassMouth89
YTA your kids grew up together and for years you never once thought to go and buy two stuffed animals for your adoptive daughter?

QueenKeisha
Right? In 16 years, and after giving 2 other bears away, she didn’t once think, hey what about youngest?

SmartassMouth89
Right? She liked the daughters dad enough to marry him but didn’t think that it would be a good idea to give the two year old a stuffie at the wedding?

Update - 6 days later

Long story short: my daughter found my reddit post, and came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction. This was NOT my expectation, and I assured her she had nothing to apologize for, as I had been in the wrong. We had a long discussion about the situation, our feelings, and how to move forward from this, and although I know she is still hurt we are on our way to making amends.
Long story long: so what even happened? As I've now discovered, my daughter loves browsing AITA. She stumbled on my post, and after reading it in it's entirety, as well as a good chunk of the comments (all of mine, and many left by other redditors) she came to me in tears apologizing for her reaction.
She sobbed in my arms that she didn't want this to be the end of our relationship, and that she was sorry, and wanted to enjoy this last summer together. I held her and assured her she had nothing to apologize for, and apologized myself (I did shed a little tear, but tried to keep my emotions in check as I did not want the burden of comforting me to be on her).
What followed was a productive but incredibly emotionally vulnerable conversation, the details of which I will not disclose entirely. She has been going through a rough time, and my impression (I could be wrong) is that the lack of a stuffie at graduation was a catalyst for bigger emotions. She did take me up on my offer to take her to dinner, and I've now booked a reservation at a nice restaurant she has been wanting to go to for a while.
And last night we cooked her favorite dinner together, which gave us an opportunity to smooth things over somewhat. We have not yet broached the subject of me intending to gift her my own plush, except for very briefly (she insisted I didn't have to, and seemed to feel a lot of guilt), but I still plan to. I just feel it would be best to wait until things have cooled down.
And if she truly doesn't feel comfortable taking it, I plan on getting a bear of a similar look to be its "little brother" for her to take care of. That's the update, obviously things have not magically mended overnight, but we are finally on-track to a resolution. Many thanks to all that left advice, and please check the comments below for clarification on many questions asked before passing any judgements (I far exceeded the allowed word limit, and have instead pasted much of what I intended to say here below).

Comments

aroundincircles
Read your first post and this one, and I feel it from both sides. My wife and I recently adopted a bio niece (13 yo this week) and she welcomes us as dad and mom, but we've run into a number of times where the kids will pull out something from a trip we went on, or an activity we did, etc years before she was ever in our lives, and she'll go "why don't you have one of those for me"? It's really hard, some of these things are simply impossible for us to get, and/or would cost us thousands of dollars (when We already spent 30+k on custody/adoption lawyers and court fees).
She also didn't even bring anything with her when we picked her up, she wasn't even allowed to bring a change of underwear. It's been something that we've had to deal with in counselling that her life with us didn't start till she was almost 12, and we have to begin fresh from there, we cannot turn back the clock and give her back an entire childhood she missed. Like when we went camping for the first time with her, and we were getting things out to visually see what we needed to get from the store and we pulled out the kid's sleeping bags, and she was like "where is mine", and the fact that we didn't already have one hurt her.

Glum_Hamster_1076
And that doesn’t make you an ahole. I hope no one will call you one. Situations change and you’re not always able to “make up for it”. OP didn’t do this to hurt her daughter and it’s weird people are painting it that way. I hope things are going well with you all in therapy and your family is making great strides together.

Comment from OOP

When I initially posted to AITA, I was prepared to face judgment, and open to constructive criticism. However, while I did receive many constructive comments, which I truly appreciate, I received many more that were hateful and unconstructive, and I will admit, I did get defensive. But the attitude I took on in the comments is not one I brought into my interactions with my daughter; please understand that I did not throw in her face all the kind things I feel I've done for her over the years, but was rather attempting to contextualize our relationship for strangers who've never met us.
And before passing any further judgment in the comments, please check below for answers to a lot of the questions asked in the original thread. To answer a few questions: why did I not adopt her until 10 years after I came into her life? Because I never sought to force myself on her as her mother, and waited until she could give me explicit consent to adopt her. Why did I never buy her any stuffed animals? I did. I bought her many when I first met her, as well as one for her official adoption day, and every adoption day celebration since.
And I did technically gift her a stuffed animal for her graduation, too, it was just a plush of her college's mascot rather than a duplicate of a treasured plush from her childhood. So why did I not buy her a duplicate at any point over the last 16 years? I did not think to until my oldest graduated and received hers, by which point I (mistakenly) felt the significance would be lost. Both my bio kids received stuffies saved for them for decades, whereas she would have received one saved for only four years. Instead I tried to honor her in other ways, such as (as I described in the comments) crafting her a cookbook of generational family recipes that I illustrated by hand, because she is her own individual.
Truthfully, while I understand the sentiments expressed in the comments, I don't believe recognizing differences is inherently a bad thing. The duplicate stuffies my bio kids received were duplicates of the very first stuffies to ever be in their crib with them. Their receival of them was a birth event, and I did not give birth to my youngest. But that does not mean I love her any less, or that she is any less my daughter.
We have established our own traditions honoring her entry into my life, such as our celebration of her adoption day, and while I realize I could have handled the stuffie situation better, I do believe it was an honest mistake. But how could I not include her in a treasured family tradition, knowing how important it is (especially as an adopted child) to feel a part of the family? Because I truly did not realize this one specific tradition meant as much to her as it did.
I have strived to include her in as many family traditions as possible throughout the years. As I mentioned in the comments, she speaks German because I taught and spoke it to her growing up, even though her father does not. We celebrate German traditions, such as baking countless batches of German Christmas cookies together every year (just the two of us, neither of her siblings have any interest in baking), which is something I grew up doing with my mom, and every year it is quality time I deeply treasure.
For her 16th birthday I gifted her the locket my mother gifted me on my 16th, which she'd been gifted by my grandmother before me - this actually upset my eldest daughter, who had not received such a hand-me-down, and this is just to name a few. So given the fact that she has on occasion received and taken part in traditions my other kids have been excluded from, I did not think the stuffie would carry as much weight as it ultimately did. But isn't her reaction an indication that there are larger issues at play, and that she has likely felt this way for a while? Perhaps.
I am not a perfect adoptive mother, and have never claimed to be. And I can not see inside her brain, so I cannot know her true feelings. But my sense - and I may be wrong! - is that the larger issues at play relate back to her bio mom, which is something she expressed to me in our conversation. I did not disclose this in my original post, because I did not believe it to be relevant, and it is also a painful topic within our family, but her bio mom committed suicide whilst in the thick of post-partum depression. This has obviously impacted my daughter, who has been in and out of therapy for years grappling with feelings of loss, and guilt.
She is highly sensitive to feeling isolated within our family unit, which is something I should have taken into account in this situation, and I own that. I realize this is a huge hunk of text, but given the visceral reaction many had, I felt it was important to cover my bases. Come to whatever conclusions you all like, I will likely not be checking the comments for my own mental health, and the wellbeing of my family. To all who left genuine advice, even if that meant calling me an asshole, I truly do appreciate you. And to all who said hateful things, especially in regard to the loss of my baby, please consider the impact your words may have moving forward

Comments

Rice-Correct
You’re a good mom. It might’ve been a mistake not to gift her the plush, and it might, as you said, just have been indicative of some larger big emotions going on, as graduating is a HUGE milestone and going to college is an enormous life change that is very rewarding and exciting, but also stressful. But it sounds like you’ve been amazing about creating beautiful memories and experiences together! I think at some point, the plush will be a distant memory. From your post, it seems pretty clear you DO have a good relationship, and you’re a caring, empathetic parent. ENJOY your summer together, Mama!

sharraleigh
Don't take the hateful comments personally; it's easy to be cruel online to a faceless stranger. Also, your original post didn't include all this info (it would've been impossible to anyway), and therefore lacked a lot of the back story and nuance that frankly, a real person's life experience encompasses. Your daughter probably saw your post and realized how her reaction hurt your feelings and read the hateful comments and felt bad for you. It sounds like you have a great relationship and you're lucky to have each other in your lives!

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments
submitted by SharkEva to BORUpdates [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 15:01 wisdomperception The Six Elements Inquiring into the presupposition of 'I Am' (MN 140)

The Six Elements Inquiring into the presupposition of 'I Am' (MN 140)
Once, the Buddha had a chance encounter with a young bhikkhu Pukkusāti who had gone forth with faith in the Buddha but had never met him. Mistaking the Buddha for an ordinary bhikkhu, Pukkusāti welcomed him. This led to an intriguing exchange with the Buddha sharing a teaching focusing on the nature of the six elements, the six bases of contact, and the eighteen explorations of the mind.
Meditator in a tranquil landscape in an impressionist style
Thus have I heard — Once, the Blessed One was wandering in the land of the Magadhans and arrived at Rājagaha; he went to where Bhaggava the potter was. Having approached, the Blessed One said to Bhaggava the potter, "If it's not inconvenient for you, Bhaggava, may we stay in your workshop for one night?"
"It's not inconvenient for me, venerable sir. There is an ascetic who arrived first. If he permits it, then stay, venerable sir, as you like," Bhaggava replied.
At that time, a young man named Pukkusāti, out of faith in the Blessed One, had gone forth from home into homelessness. He was the one who had arrived first at the potter's workshop. Then, the Blessed One approached where Venerable Pukkusāti was; having approached, he said to Venerable Pukkusāti, "If it's not inconvenient for you, bhikkhu, may we stay in your workshop for one night?"
"The workshop is spacious, friend. Please stay, Venerable, as you like," replied Venerable Pukkusāti.
Then, the Blessed One entered the potter's workshop and, after preparing a seat of grass at one side, sat down, folding his legs crosswise, setting his body erect, and establishing mindfulness in front of him. The Blessed One spent much of the night seated in meditation. Venerable Pukkusāti too spent much of the night seated in meditation.
Then, it occurred to the Blessed One, "This young man conducts himself well. Perhaps I should question him."
So, the Blessed One asked Venerable Pukkusāti, "For whom, bhikkhu, have you gone forth? Who is your teacher? Whose Dhamma do you profess?"
"Friend, there is the ascetic Gotama, the son of the Sakyans, who went forth from the Sakyan clan. And about the Blessed One Gotama, such a splendid reputation has spread: 'Indeed, he is the Blessed One, an Arahant, a Fully Enlightened One, accomplished in knowledge and conduct, well-gone, a knower of the worlds, an unsurpassed trainer of persons to be tamed, a teacher of gods and humans, the Enlightened One, the Blessed One.' I have gone forth inspired by the Blessed One Gotama. He is my teacher, and it is his Dhamma that I profess."
"And where is that Blessed One, the Arahant, the Fully Enlightened One now residing?" the Blessed One asked.
"Friend, in the northern country there is a city named Sāvatthi. There the Blessed One, the Arahant, the Fully Enlightened One, is now residing," replied Venerable Pukkusāti.
"Have you ever seen that Blessed One before, bhikkhu? Would you recognize him if you saw him?" the Blessed One inquired.
"No, friend, I have not seen that Blessed One before; and I would not recognize him if I saw him," Venerable Pukkusāti replied.
Then, it occurred to the Blessed One, "This young man has gone forth out of faith in me. Perhaps I should teach him the Dhamma."
Then, the Blessed One addressed Venerable Pukkusāti, "I will teach you the Dhamma, bhikkhu. Listen and pay close attention; I will speak."
"As you say, friend," Venerable Pukkusāti responded to the Blessed One. The Blessed One said:
"This person, bhikkhu, is made of six elements, six bases of contact, eighteen explorations of mind, and is established in four ways; where standing, the notions of 'I am' do not proceed, and in whom, when these notions do not proceed, is called a sage at peace. One should not be negligent in wisdom, should guard the truth, should cultivate relinquishment, and should train for peace itself — this is the essence of the Analysis of the Elements.
'This person, bhikkhu, is made of six elements' — thus it has been said. Why has it been said? There are these six elements, bhikkhu: the earth element, the water element, the fire element, the air element, the space element, and the consciousness element. 'This person, bhikkhu, is made of six elements' — it has been said with reference to this.
'This person, bhikkhu, has six bases of contact' — thus it has been said. Why has it been said? The eye-contact base, the ear-contact base, the nose-contact base, the tongue-contact base, the body-contact base, the mind-contact base. 'This person, bhikkhu, has six bases of contact' — it has been said with reference to this.
'This person, bhikkhu, engages in eighteen explorations of mind' — thus it has been said. Why has it been said? On seeing a form with the eye, one explores a form that gives rise to pleasure, a form that gives rise to displeasure, and a form that gives rise to equanimity; on hearing a sound with the ear ... on smelling an odor with the nose ... on tasting a flavor with the tongue ...
on touching a tactile object with the body ... on cognizing a mental object (arisen from a mental quality) with the mind, one explores a mental object that gives rise to pleasure, a mental object that gives rise to displeasure, and a mental object that gives rise to equanimity. 'This person, bhikkhu, engages in eighteen explorations of mind' — it has been said with reference to this.
'This person, bhikkhu, is established in four ways' — thus it has been said. Why has it been said? The establishment of wisdom, the establishment of truth, the establishment of relinquishment, the establishment of peace. 'This person, bhikkhu, is established in four ways' — it has been said with reference to this.
'One should not be negligent in wisdom, should guard the truth, should cultivate relinquishment, and should train for peace itself'
— thus it has been said. Why has it been said?

The Six Elements

And how, bhikkhu, does one not neglect wisdom? There are these six elements, bhikkhu: the earth element, the water element, the fire element, the air element, the space element, and the consciousness element.
And what, bhikkhu, is the earth element? The earth element may be internal or external. And what, bhikkhu, is the internal earth element? Whatever internally, belonging to oneself, is solid, solidified, and clung to, that is, hair of the head, hair of the body, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, sinews, bones, bone marrow, kidneys, heart, liver, diaphragm, spleen, lungs, intestines, mesentery, contents of the stomach, feces, or whatever else internally, belonging to oneself, is solid, solidified, and clung to — this is called the internal earth element. Both the internal earth element and the external earth element are simply earth elements. 'This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self' — thus should it be seen with proper wisdom as it really is. Having seen it thus with proper wisdom, one becomes disenchanted with the earth element and makes the mind dispassionate towards the earth element.
And what, bhikkhu, is the water element? The water element may be internal or external. And what, bhikkhu, is the internal water element? Whatever internally, belonging to oneself, is liquid, liquefied, and clung to, that is, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, fat, tears, grease, spit, snot, oil of the joints, urine, or whatever else internally, belonging to oneself, is liquid, liquefied, and clung to — this is called the internal water element. Both the internal water element and the external water element are simply water elements. 'This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self' — thus should it be seen with proper wisdom as it really is. Having seen it thus with proper wisdom, one becomes disenchanted with the water element and makes the mind dispassionate towards the water element.
And what, bhikkhu, is the fire element? The fire element may be internal or external. And what, bhikkhu, is the internal fire element? Whatever internally, belonging to oneself, is fire, fiery, and clung to, that is, by which one is warmed, ages, and is consumed, and by which what is eaten, drunk, chewed, and tasted gets fully digested, or whatever else internally, belonging to oneself, is fire, fiery, and clung to — this is called the internal fire element. Both the internal fire element and the external fire element are simply fire elements. 'This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self' — thus should it be seen with proper wisdom as it really is. Having seen it thus with proper wisdom, one becomes disenchanted with the fire element and makes the mind dispassionate towards the fire element.
And what, bhikkhu, is the air element? The air element may be internal or external. And what, bhikkhu, is the internal air element? Whatever internally, belonging to oneself, is air, airy, and clung to, that is, up-going winds, down-going winds, winds in the belly, winds in the bowels, winds that course through the limbs, in-breathing and out-breathing, or whatever else internally, belonging to oneself, is air, airy, and clung to — this is called the internal air element. Both the internal air element and the external air element are simply air elements. 'This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self' — thus should it be seen with proper wisdom as it really is. Having seen it thus with proper wisdom, one becomes disenchanted with the air element and makes the mind dispassionate towards the air element.
And what, bhikkhu, is the space element? The space element may be internal or external. And what, bhikkhu, is the internal space element? Whatever internally, belonging to oneself, is space, spatial, and clung to, that is, the holes of the ears, the nostrils, the door of the mouth, and where whatever is eaten, drunk, chewed, and tasted is swallowed, where it stands, where it is stored, and where it is excreted from below, or whatever else internally, belonging to oneself, is space, spatial, and clung to — this is called the internal space element. Both the internal space element and the external space element are simply space elements. 'This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self' — thus should it be seen with proper wisdom as it really is. Having seen it thus with proper wisdom, one becomes disenchanted with the space element and makes the mind dispassionate towards the space element.
Then, only consciousness remains, pure and bright. And with that consciousness, what does one cognize? One cognizes 'pleasant', one cognizes 'painful', and one cognizes 'neither-painful-nor-pleasant'.

The Eighteen Explorations of Mind

  • Pleasant feeling, bhikkhu, arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that pleasant feeling, one understands 'I experience a pleasant feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is pleasant to experience, the pleasant feeling that arose dependent on that pleasant contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
  • Painful feeling, bhikkhu, arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that painful feeling, one understands 'I experience a painful feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is painful to experience, the painful feeling that arose dependent on that painful contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
  • A neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, bhikkhu, arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, one understands 'I experience a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is neither painful nor pleasant to experience, the neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling that arose dependent on that contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
Just as, bhikkhu, with the friction of two pieces of wood, heat is generated and fire arises, and with the separation and scattering of those two pieces of wood, the heat generated by their contact ceases and subsides;
  • Similarly, bhikkhu, pleasant feeling arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that pleasant feeling, one understands 'I experience a pleasant feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is pleasant to experience, the pleasant feeling that arose dependent on that contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
  • Painful feeling, bhikkhu, arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that painful feeling, one understands 'I experience a painful feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is painful to experience, the painful feeling that arose dependent on that contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
  • A neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, bhikkhu, arises dependent on contact. Experiencing that neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, one understands 'I experience a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling'. 'With the cessation of that very contact that is neither painful nor pleasant to experience, the neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling that arose dependent on that contact ceases and subsides' — this one understands.
Then, only equanimity remains, pure, bright, gentle, workable, and radiant. Just as, bhikkhu, a skilled goldsmith or goldsmith's apprentice might prepare a furnace, light the fire, and place gold in the crucible. By blowing on it from time to time, sprinkling water over it from time to time, and observing it from time to time, the gold becomes refined, well refined, thoroughly refined, faultless, pliable, workable, and radiant. It could be made into whatever form he wishes — whether a bracelet, earrings, a necklace, or a golden chain—and it would serve its purpose. Similarly, bhikkhu, then only equanimity remains, pure, bright, gentle, workable, and radiant.
One thus understands: 'If I were to direct this equanimity so pure and so bright towards the sphere of infinite space (dissolution of distinctions of form element) and develop my mind accordingly, this equanimity, relying on that, clinging (grasping) to that, would last for a long time. If I were to direct this equanimity so pure and so bright towards the sphere of infinite consciousness (boundless awareness)... towards the sphere of nothingness (emptiness and absence)... towards the sphere of neither perception nor non-perception and develop my mind accordingly, this equanimity, relying on that, clinging to that, would last for a long time.'
One thus understands: 'If I were to direct this equanimity, so pure and bright, towards the sphere of infinite space (dissolution of distinctions of form element) and develop my mind accordingly, this is conditioned. If I were to direct this equanimity, so pure and bright, towards the sphere of infinite consciousness... towards the sphere of nothingness... towards the sphere of neither perception nor non-perception and develop my mind accordingly, this is conditioned.'
Thus, one does not form any volitional formations for either existence or non-existence. Not forming any volitions for either, one does not cling to anything in the world. Not clinging, one does not worry. Without worry, one personally attains Nibbāna.
'Re-birth is exhausted, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more coming to any state of being,' one understands.
Whether experiencing a pleasant feeling, one understands 'it is impermanent', 'I am not involved with it', 'I do not delight in it'. Whether experiencing a painful feeling or a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, one understands the same.
Experiencing a pleasant feeling, one experiences it unattached; experiencing a painful feeling, one experiences it unattached; experiencing a neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling, one experiences it unattached. Experiencing a feeling limited to the body, one understands 'I experience a feeling limited to the body'; experiencing a feeling limited to life, one understands 'I experience a feeling limited to life', 'With the break-up of the body, following death, all that is felt, not being delighted in, will become cool right here.'
Just as, bhikkhu, an oil lamp burns dependent on oil and a wick, and with the exhaustion of the oil and wick, it is extinguished due to lack of fuel; similarly, experiencing a feeling limited to the body, one understands 'I experience a feeling limited to the body'; experiencing a feeling limited to life, one understands 'I experience a feeling limited to life', 'With the break-up of the body, following death, all that is felt, not being delighted in, will become cool right here.'

Established in Four Ways

  1. Therefore, a bhikkhu equipped in this way possesses the highest foundation of wisdom. For, bhikkhu, this is the highest noble wisdom, that is, the knowledge of the cessation of all suffering.
  2. His release, being founded on truth, is unshakeable. For that is false, bhikkhu, which is delusory, and that is true which is Nibbāna, the un-delusory. Therefore, a bhikkhu equipped in this way possesses the highest foundation of truth. For, bhikkhu, this is the ultimate noble truth, that is, Nibbāna, which is un-delusory.
  3. For him, previously not having wisdom, attachments (possessions, identification) were fully taken up and embraced. But for him, they are abandoned, cut off at the root, made like a palm stump, obliterated so that they are no more subject to future arising. Therefore, a bhikkhu equipped in this way possesses the highest foundation of relinquishment. For, bhikkhu, this is the supreme noble relinquishment, that is, the relinquishment of all attachments.
    1. For him, previously not having wisdom, there was craving, desire, passion. But for him, it is abandoned, cut off at the root, made like a palm stump, obliterated so that craving is no more subject to future arising.
    2. For him, previously not having wisdom, there was irritation, ill-will, fault-finding. But for him, it is abandoned, cut off at the root, made like a palm stump, obliterated so that irritation is no more subject to future arising.
  4. For him, previously not having wisdom, there was ignorance (misapprehension of true reality) and delusion (assumption making tendencies, absence of close examination and verification). But for him, it is abandoned, cut off at the root, made like a palm stump, obliterated so that it is no more subject to future arising. Therefore, a bhikkhu equipped in this way possesses the highest foundation of peace. For, bhikkhu, this is the supreme noble peace, that is, the pacification of lust, aversion, and confusion.
"One should not neglect wisdom, should protect the truth, should cultivate relinquishment, and should train for peace itself"
— thus has it been said. This has been said on account of this.

Notions of 'I am'

"Where standing, the notions of 'I am' do not proceed, and in whom, when these notions do not proceed, he is called a sage at peace" — thus indeed has it been said. What was this said on account of?
"It is 'I am,' bhikkhu, that is a presumption.
  • 'This I am' is a presumption.
  • 'I will be' is a presumption.
  • 'I will not be' is a presumption.
  • 'I will have form' is a presumption.
  • 'I will be formless' is a presumption.
  • 'I will be conscious' is a presumption.
  • 'I will be unconscious' is a presumption.
  • 'I will be neither conscious nor unconscious' is a presumption.
Presumption, bhikkhu, is a disease, presumption is a boil, presumption is a dart. Overcoming all presumptions, bhikkhu, one is called a sage at peace. Indeed, a sage at peace, bhikkhu, does not get born, does not age, does not die, does not get agitated, does not yearn. For him, bhikkhu, there is nothing by which he might be born; not being born, how could he age? Not aging, how could he die? Not dying, how could he get agitated? Not getting agitated, for what could he yearn?
"Where standing, the notions of 'I am' do not proceed, and in whom, when these notions do not proceed, he is called a sage at peace"
— thus has it been said. This has been said on account of this.
"You should remember this brief exposition of the six elements from me, bhikkhu."
---------------
In this teaching, the Buddha gets mistaken for an ordinary bhikkhu by a young bhikkhu who had gone forth with faith in the Buddha. It is indicative that the Buddha conducted himself with an outward appearance indistinguishable from that of other bhikkhus that trained under him.
Seeing the young bhikkhu conducting himself well, the Buddha shares with him this teaching of the six elements of earth, water, fire, wind, space and consciousness - which when practiced allows for establishing oneself in mindfulness, freed from craving and grief for the world.
The Buddha further shares on the eighteen explorations of the mind through the three kinds of feelings: pleasant, painful and neither-painful-nor-pleasant born from the six sense contacts (form meeting the eye, along with arising of eye-consciousness, ... , mental object meeting the mind, along with arising of the mind-consciousness). He shares these as a way to understand the consciousness element and how it cognizes.
The Buddha then describes the gradual steps from there that lead to the realization of Nibbāna, leading to being established in the four ways of wisdom, truth, relinquishment, and peace.
The Buddha finally shares on the letting go of the 'I am' presumption and any subsequent presumptions that emerge from this, which form the core of what leads one to experience discontentment through worry, agitation, and dissatisfaction.
Closely examining the presumption of 'I am' inherent in René Descartes's "Cogito, ergo sum" ("I think, therefore I am"), which has underpinned modern philosophy, scientific and rational investigations, individualism, literature and pop culture, psychology, and technology (including debates on machine consciousness), reveals how deeply the world we find ourselves in today is influenced by this concept.
Realizing the truth of "I am" then individually opens up new possibilities and frontiers to be explored across all of these domains.
Related Teachings:
submitted by wisdomperception to WordsOfTheBuddha [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 15:01 aznpersuazion Is the Michelin Guide Overrated?

My experience with Michelin in a complicated one. Having gone to one, two, and three Michelin star restaurants across the globe, I've seen Michelin do some great things for restaurants, but I've also seen them bring the demise of others.
Because it's quite apparent what good things come from being highlighted by Michelin, this post is more focused on some of my criticisms of the Michelin guide, and why I think the current structure of Michelin should be changed.
Maintaining "Michelin's definition" of the gold standard..
There have been a ton of amazing restaurants given a one star review. Restaurants don't even need to be "fine dining" to be given a Michelin star, as highlighted by some of the cheap eats that have received a one star review.
But a one star review, can at times, be a curse for restaurants. Often, restaurants receive one star reviews got there by showcasing there strengths. A passion for food and creativity, a desire to share culture or tradition, or an expression of a personal brand of art.
When a restaurant receives a one star review, two things happen.
  1. They begin to get huge influx of customers. Initially.
  2. They start to be compared to other one star restaurants, sometimes even two or three star.
The majority of the time, when a restaurant receives a one star review, the rapidly get a ton of customers wanting to try them. And in just a few months, they start to raise prices. Because money can change people.
And eventually, they start to act as more of a "tourist attraction", and start to lose the original loyal clientele that brought them to where they were in the first place.
Secondly, they begin to compare themselves to the standards of other "higher" Michelin star restaurants.
And that typically means focusing more on a particular brand of fine dining. Hyper-attentive service, an overuse of "micro complex food"(emulsions, purees, colorful vegetation). Just to name a few.
I've seen this unfortunately happen time and time again.
If your customers wanted to go to a Eleven Madison Park, they'd travel to New York. But don't turn your restaurant into a chain of fine dining. You'll start to lose the allure, and it starts to feel like the routine of Mcdonalds or Capital Grille.

**If you enjoyed my content, consider checking out a referral link. You get additional sign up and welcome bonuses. Signing up and using Rakuten for cash back is free!*\*
submitted by aznpersuazion to travelfooddiaries [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:53 Boothy2312 HELP ME FIND MY LOST LIPSTICK

Omg, i have been trying to find my lipstick from 3 years ago that i sadly lost. I cant remember the name of the colour, but heres what i do know. Its in the Maybelline Color Sensational range, has a darker brown clear casing, with a short metallic base. Its a copper, brown, nude, bronze colour with warm but mauve tones with a little bit of sparkle/shine. It looks darker in the tuber but is actually more sheer. I thought it might be the colour "Copper Charm 305" or "Bronzed 295", but the number on the bottom of the tube i swear was bigger and was centered like the ones in the first image ive linked below. The colour's number i think had a three, one or a two at the start, and the numbers consisted of threes, zeros, twos, eights, ones and sixes, but i could be wrong. I really hope this helps. It was an older style and didnt have any writing on the clear brown casing like the newer designs. I'm linking a website that is the style of the tube and im pretty sure they all came out in the same year as the lipstick im looking for. This has kept me up at night for years and i just want to find it again cause it was the perfect shade for me. Plz plz plz help. Amelia
https://s.ecrater.com/stores/166044/543de18ccd29e_166044n.jpg
https://www.beautylish.com/s/maybelline-color-sensational-lipcolor-totally-toffee
P.S. also very similar shade recommendations are appreciated
submitted by Boothy2312 to MakeupAddicts [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:52 lazymentors What a week in advertising: CTV AdTech, Reddit AI & $2.5M Spam Marketing fine.

Top 6 Updates of last Week:

Trending

TikTok 🎶

Meta 😅

X (Twitter) 🕹️

Youtube 🕹️

Google 🔦

Agency News

AI 🤨

Reddit & Snapchat

Microsoft & LinkedIn

Marketing & AdTech

I hope this helps to plan your week ahead. Follow for more.
submitted by lazymentors to advertising [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:51 Boothy2312 HELP ME FIND MY LOST LIPSTICK

Omg, i have been trying to find my lipstick from 3 years ago that i sadly lost. I cant remember the name of the colour, but heres what i do know. Its in the Maybelline Color Sensational range, has a darker brown clear casing, with a short metallic base. Its a copper, brown, nude, bronze colour with warm but mauve tones with a little bit of sparkle/shine. It looks darker in the tuber but is actually more sheer. I thought it might be the colour "Copper Charm 305" or "Bronzed 295", but the number on the bottom of the tube i swear was bigger and was centered like the ones in the first image ive linked below. The colour's number i think had a three, one or a two at the start, and the numbers consisted of threes, zeros, twos, eights, ones and sixes, but i could be wrong. I really hope this helps. It was an older style and didnt have any writing on the clear brown casing like the newer designs. I'm linking a website that is the style of the tube and im pretty sure they all came out in the same year as the lipstick im looking for. This has kept me up at night for years and i just want to find it again cause it was the perfect shade for me. Plz plz plz help. Amelia
https://s.ecrater.com/stores/166044/543de18ccd29e_166044n.jpg
https://www.beautylish.com/s/maybelline-color-sensational-lipcolor-totally-toffee
P.S. also very similar shade recommendations are appreciated
submitted by Boothy2312 to HelpMeFindThis [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:51 SassMax My recent experience with Nykaa and the National Consumer Helpline (NCH): An update to my post on the weird residue found in "The Ordinary Multi-Peptide + Copper Peptides 1%" serum.

Click here for my original post & images of the residue I found in my brand new "The Ordinary Multi Peptide + Copper Peptides 1%" serum.
TL;DR: Ordered "The Ordinary Multi Peptide + Copper Peptides 1%" serum from Nykaa on April 19th. Found residue and discoloration in the dropper after 10 days. Tried to return it, but Nykaa initially refused due to no outer box. Filed a complaint with the National Consumer Helpline. Nykaa accepted the return after multiple back-and-forths and lots of hassle. Finally got my refund.
This post is going to be quite long and may include many unnecessary details but I am keeping them in so that no one makes the same mistake lol.
April 19th: Placed the order on Nykaa. The product value was Rs. 2800.
April 22nd: I received the order. I examined it and nothing seemed wrong with it. Started using the serum. Nothing concerning happened.
May 2nd: I felt itchy sensations when using the product. There was a cloudy appearance inside the dropper and discolouration near the cap. I added more pressure to the cap for closer examination and found a gross-looking residue in the dropper. This thing was hidden inside the dropper, and one wouldn't notice at first glance. By this time, it had been 10 days since I started using the product, and I had already tossed the outer boxes, assuming I wouldn't need it. Nevertheless, I placed a return request and attached all the images. A brand-new product should not deteriorate this fast, and I always stored them in optimum conditions.
May 3rd: The return request was approved.
May 4th: "Shadowfax" was assigned for pickup, and the pickup agent refused pickup because the product did not have an outer box (fair enough on his side as he was doing his job). I called Nykaa customer care on the spot and explained to them, and she said, "Your return is already accepted; please give it to the pickup agent". But the guy did not want to take the risk, so I told the Nykaa Customer Care agent about the situation. She said, "Unfortunately, he does not understand your situation. You can send the guy off for now, and we will find an alternative. Please call us back". I did as instructed and the pickup was cancelled. When I called back, another agent was on the line, and I explained the situation to her and the conversation went like this:
Nykaa CC: Mam, we cannot accept the return as there is no outer box. The product is incomplete without the box, and we cannot accept an incomplete product.
Me: But you have to see the context here: the deterioration was discovered only after 10 days, and this is a used product that you cannot resell, and if you do, it is a health hazard. Expecting me to keep the outer box for 10 days is unreasonable.
Nykaa CC: We cannot do anything about it, mam.
I was more sad than angry at this point as this was probably the most expensive product I had ever purchased, and I could not believe that all that money had gone down the drain. Also, this makes me wonder if returned products are resold, even if they're damaged or used. If that's the case, it's a serious health hazard. This is only speculation on my part.
May 5th: I had little hope but filed a complaint in the National Consumer Helpline portal. I had previously filed a complaint about this delivery company called "Delhivery" and nothing came of it, but I made the complaint anyway.
May 11th: Nykaa responded to the NCH complaint, asking for 72 hours to investigate the issue.
May 13th: Nykaa again accepted the issue, and they booked an emergency return pickup with "no quality check". Here is where I messed up. The return was set to the original delivery address (my university) pincode. I came home (to another city) and carried the product with me, hoping that if there was a resolution to my complaint, I could return from here.
May 14th: I contacted Nykaa customer care to explain the situation and the guy said he will cancel the pickup for now and customer would create a new one with the other address. I told him that I will keep a record of his message just in case. When I contacted customer care again, they said the PIN code cannot be different for return pickup. I was completely unaware that returns would not be accepted from another PIN code. Nykaa customer care suggested that I arrange for the product to be sent to the original delivery address, and they will for now cancel the pickup and create a new one when I request it.
May 15th: I diligently packed the product and couriered it back to my friend still in a hostel for 80 rupees, which was worth it given the product's 2800 rupees value.
May 17th: Friend received the parcel in perfect condition. I contacted Nykaa to rebook the return. They asked for more proof, which I provided again. The pickup was scheduled with Shadowfax again.
May 18th: I requested Nykaa to inform Shadowfax that the pickup would happen without the outer box and no QC as I dont want any more hassles while the product is picked up (and my friend will be the one handing over the product and i dont want her to waste her time). The customer care agent unaware of the history replied “we cannot accept without the outer box”. I was losing it at this point and told him to check all previous communications and this is unacceptable. He then understood and assured that the product will be accepted as it is without qc. I thanked him and awaited the pickup.
May 21st: Despite assurances, the delivery agent initially refused the pickup due to no outer box. My friend showed him screenshots of my interactions with Nykaa customer care, and he finally accepted the package after she provided another box for safe keeping.
REFUND WAS PROCESSED AND IT WAS REFLECTED IN MY BANK ACCOUNT IN AN HOUR.
Lesson learned:
Hopefully, Nykaa improves their communication and process in the future. I don't know if I have been unreasonable at any point but after paying such a big amount for a product from a reputed brand, it better be of the best quality. Pleasantly surprised by the <3 National Consumer Helpline <3 in this case and also Nykaa Customer Care at some points. They were trying to be helpful but I get a feeling that they have poor communication within their ranks. I saw another post where someone explained in a comment that there is a second layer of customer service which is more efficient.
submitted by SassMax to IndianSkincareAddicts [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:50 ZGeekie Should You Buy Your Domain Name From Shopify?

Shopify is one of the best ecommerce platforms for those looking to build an online store with minimal effort and investment.
If you are going to use Shopify to build your ecommerce store, you may consider registering your domain name with them. Their prices are reasonable ($15 for .com), and you get Whois privacy for free.
That said, I think it's better to heed the general advice that is commonly shared here on Reddit and elsewhere, and that is to keep your domain and hosting separate from each other.
I register my domains at a couple of registrars that I trust regardless of which hosting services/platforms they are associated with.
It is safer to keep your domains at a secure place away from your hosting provider.
Shopify and other hosting platforms can at anytime suspend your account for whatever reason, and if that happens you may have a hard time accessing your domain or transferring it to another provider.
When your domain is registered elsewhere, you'd easily be able to redirect traffic to a temporary site to avoid a prolonged period of downtime while you resolve the issue with your hosting provider (Shopify in this case).
submitted by ZGeekie to SiteWays [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:50 lazymentors What a week in marketing: GPT4o, AI overviews, Netflix vs Amazon + Reddit’s AI sellout

Top 6 Updates of last Week:

Trending

TikTok 🎶

Meta 😅

X (Twitter) 🕹️

Youtube 🕹️

Google 🔦

Agency News

AI 🤨

Reddit & Snapchat

Microsoft & LinkedIn

Marketing & AdTech

I hope this helps to plan your week ahead. Credit: The Social Juice Newsletter.
submitted by lazymentors to Marketingcurated [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:48 lazymentors What a week in marketing: GPT4o, AI overviews, Netflix vs Amazon + Reddit’s AI sellout

Top 6 Updates of last Week:

Trending

TikTok 🎶

Meta 😅

X (Twitter) 🕹️

Youtube 🕹️

Google 🔦

Agency News

AI 🤨

Reddit & Snapchat

Microsoft & LinkedIn

Marketing & AdTech

I hope this helps to plan your week ahead. Credit: The Social Juice Newsletter.
submitted by lazymentors to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:48 Upper-Cap-9663 [TOMT] Looking for an edit that uses the song DSCO by Sweet Trip

i remember seeing it like around 2022 maybe early 2023 on tiktok and i cant rememver the name of the person who made it, but i know that it starts at the beggining of the song and it was like an after effects test or something, also i think the creator has some furry edits, plss help me find it😭
submitted by Upper-Cap-9663 to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:47 lazymentors What a week in marketing: GPT4o, AI overviews, Netflix vs Amazon + Reddit’s AI sellout

Top 6 Updates of last Week:

Trending

TikTok 🎶

Meta 😅

X (Twitter) 🕹️

Youtube 🕹️

Google 🔦

Agency News

AI 🤨

Reddit & Snapchat

Microsoft & LinkedIn

Marketing & AdTech

I hope this helps to plan your week ahead. Credit: The Social Juice Newsletter.
submitted by lazymentors to DigitalMarketing [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:45 lazymentors What a week in marketing: GPT4o, AI overviews, Netflix vs Amazon + Reddit’s AI sellout

Top 6 Updates of last Week:

Trending

TikTok 🎶

Meta 😅

X (Twitter) 🕹️

Youtube 🕹️

Google 🔦

Agency News

AI 🤨

Reddit & Snapchat

Microsoft & LinkedIn

Marketing & AdTech

I hope this helps to plan your week ahead. Follow for more.
submitted by lazymentors to marketing [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:45 TsekoD I placed an order for a sofa at Johnny's Furniture and just found out that they might be a scam. What do I do?

TL;DR: Naively placed an order at scammy furniture store. Should I wait until the due date or lose 20% of the refund?
Okay, where to begin. I was (still am at this point) in need of a new sofa with a limited budget for a while. On last Saturday I did some digging in this sub, many were obviously out of my league, then found a couple of mentions of Johnny's Furniture. Turned out that I was nearby one of their stores and headed there. Found a cute but sturdy looking sofa well sit in my budget, told by a store attendant that it will arrive in 4-5 weeks, thought that would coincide the kerbside collection of my old sofa, placed an order, went home. Everything looked fine.
Today, by a pure chance, I found a comment that they're very dodgy. Kinda freaked out and checked their Google review. I admit that I never read such a big collection of negative reviews. Extremely long wait times, the worst customer service, rude managers and non existent warranty, you name it. On top of that, they will deduct 20% of total order in case of cancellation or change of mind. They were even in local news because of this. I feel like an imbecile in the era of online reviews.
So my question is, what shall I do now? I wouldn't mind if I actually receive the sofa, so one side of me thinking let's wait until June. But almost all the customer reviews say otherwise. Should I just head to the store and try to get a refund minus 20%? By any chance, is there a way to get a full refund?
submitted by TsekoD to brisbane [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:43 TEchfygeeks Explain keywords in Digital marketing?

Explain keywords in Digital marketing?
https://preview.redd.it/vb4hn8pbzr1d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d5844eafeecc24742f356f63bf0ee4537730a2f
In the vast and ever-evolving realm of digital marketing, keywords stand out as one of the most fundamental and crucial elements. They are the linchpins that connect content creators, businesses, and audiences, facilitating effective communication and interaction in the digital space. This blog delves into the intricacies of keywords, explaining their significance, types, and best practices in the context of digital marketing.

What Are Keywords?

Keywords are words or phrases that users enter into search engines to find information, products, or services. In digital marketing, they play a pivotal role in search engine optimization (SEO), pay-per-click (PPC) advertising, content marketing, and more. Essentially, keywords act as a bridge between what people are searching for and the content provided to meet those searches.

The Importance of Keywords in Digital Marketing

  1. Visibility and Ranking: Keywords are instrumental in determining the visibility of a website on search engine results pages (SERPs). Search engines like Google use algorithms that consider keyword relevance to rank pages. By optimizing content with appropriate keywords, businesses can improve their search engine rankings, driving organic traffic to their websites.
  2. Targeted Traffic: Effective keyword usage helps attract a specific audience. By focusing on keywords relevant to their niche or industry, businesses can draw visitors who are genuinely interested in their offerings, leading to higher engagement and conversion rates.
  3. Understanding Audience Intent: Keywords provide insights into what potential customers are looking for. By analyzing keyword trends and search queries, businesses can better understand consumer behavior, preferences, and pain points, allowing them to tailor their marketing strategies accordingly.
  4. Competitive Advantage: Strategic keyword research can reveal what competitors are focusing on. This information can help businesses identify gaps in the market, uncover new opportunities, and differentiate themselves from competitors.

Types of Keywords

  1. Short-Tail Keywords: Also known as head keywords, these are usually one or two words long (e.g., "shoes"). They have high search volumes but are highly competitive and less specific.
  2. Long-Tail Keywords: These are longer, more specific phrases (e.g., "best running shoes for women"). Although they have lower search volumes, they attract more targeted traffic and have higher conversion rates due to their specificity.
  3. Branded Keywords: Keywords that include a brand's name (e.g., "Nike running shoes"). These are used by people who are already aware of the brand and are looking for specific products or information related to it.
  4. Non-Branded Keywords: Keywords that do not include any brand names (e.g., "running shoes"). These are crucial for attracting new customers who may not yet be familiar with the brand.
  5. Geo-Targeted Keywords: Keywords that include location-specific terms (e.g., "best pizza in New York"). These are essential for local SEO and targeting audiences in specific geographic areas.
  6. LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing) Keywords: These are related terms or phrases that search engines use to understand the context of content (e.g., "buy," "purchase," and "shop" are LSI keywords for "shopping"). Including LSI keywords helps improve content relevance and search engine rankings.

Keyword Research and Best Practices

  1. Identify Goals: Start by defining your marketing objectives. Are you looking to increase website traffic, boost sales, or enhance brand awareness? Your goals will influence your keyword strategy.
  2. Use Keyword Research Tools: Tools like Google Keyword Planner, Ahrefs, SEMrush, and Moz can help identify relevant keywords, analyze search volumes, and assess competition. These tools provide valuable data to inform your keyword choices.
  3. Analyze Competitors: Study your competitors' websites and the keywords they are targeting. This can provide insights into what works in your industry and help you identify gaps or opportunities.
  4. Focus on Relevance: Ensure the keywords you choose are highly relevant to your content and audience. Irrelevant keywords may attract traffic, but it won't be useful if visitors don't find what they're looking for.
  5. Balance Short-Tail and Long-Tail Keywords: Use a mix of both to capture a broader audience while also targeting specific, high-intent searches. Long-tail keywords, in particular, can help you reach niche segments of your audience.
  6. Incorporate Keywords Naturally: Avoid keyword stuffing, which can lead to penalties from search engines. Instead, integrate keywords seamlessly into your content, including headings, subheadings, meta descriptions, and alt text for images.
  7. Monitor and Adapt: Regularly track the performance of your keywords using analytics tools. Adjust your strategy based on what’s working and what’s not, keeping up with changes in search algorithms and market trends.

Conclusion

Keywords are the backbone of digital marketing, driving search engine optimization, content creation, and advertising strategies. By understanding the different types of keywords and how to effectively research and utilize them, businesses can enhance their online visibility, attract targeted traffic, and ultimately achieve their marketing goals. Staying informed about keyword trends and continuously refining your approach will help you maintain a competitive edge in the dynamic digital landscape. For those looking to deepen their knowledge and skills, an online digital marketing course can provide comprehensive insights into effective keyword strategies and the latest industry practices, ensuring you stay ahead in the ever-evolving world of digital marketing.
submitted by TEchfygeeks to u/TEchfygeeks [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:39 Boothy2312 HELP ME FIND THIS LIPSTICK

Omg, i have been trying to find my lipstick from 3 years ago that i sadly lost. I cant remember the name of the colour, but heres what i do know. Its in the Maybelline Color Sensational range, has a darker brown clear casing, with a short metallic base. Its a copper, brown, nude, bronze colour with warm but mauve tones with a little bit of sparkle/shine. It looks darker in the tuber but is actually more sheer. I thought it might be the colour "Copper Charm 305" or "Bronzed 295", but the number on the bottom of the tube i swear was bigger and was centered like the ones in the first image ive linked below. The colour's number i think had a three, one or a two at the start, and the numbers consisted of threes, zeros, twos, eights, ones and sixes, but i could be wrong. I really hope this helps. It was an older style and didnt have any writing on the clear brown casing like the newer designs. I'm linking a website that is the style of the tube and im pretty sure they all came out in the same year as the lipstick im looking for. This has kept me up at night for years and i just want to find it again cause it was the perfect shade for me. Plz plz plz help. Amelia
https://s.ecrater.com/stores/166044/543de18ccd29e_166044n.jpg
https://www.beautylish.com/s/maybelline-color-sensational-lipcolor-totally-toffee
submitted by Boothy2312 to MakeupAddiction [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:37 Competitive_Yam_8114 Cute!!

Cute!!
probably the cutest couple i’ve had and they both have good jobs😮‍💨
submitted by Competitive_Yam_8114 to VirtualFamilies [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:26 pohltergiest Catching up on the Tohoku Times

Catching up on the Tohoku Times
Finally finding some time after resting to do my writing. The bike shop experience was a little sweaty in the hot weather, and while we were outside working on our bikes, not only did the wife of the mechanic go get us an iced coffee and an ice cream, she later made us care packages with an energy gel and a bunch of electrolyte tablets. Looking inside, it would seem this shop has been the home of a pro-level team for a long time, so I imagine they have a lot of these things on hand, but it was still very nice.
My wheel repair went well, the bumps and wobbles straightening out with the spoke repair. Bryce had them look at his front wheel, which had a different problem. He took a look at it, and after some consideration he said it was a "maintenance challenge" and proceeded to pull out a lot of wrenches. Bryce gleaned that the hub of the wheel needed tightening, and he did not have the correct wrenches to deal with this decidedly north american model. But he did have ones that were close enough and with some effort he managed to make it better to ride. After all was said and done we asked how much for the repairs and he tells us that he's a volunteer for the day, that this is his son's shop and he's just hanging out for the day because it's a holiday! We were flabbergasted but again he would not take any payment. We talked with him a bunch and he told us that he's in his 70's and attributes his good health to his biking, which he proudly states he's been doing for over 60 years now. We said he was an inspiration and said our goodbyes.
We were lucky to get the repairs done so quick, as it gave us just enough time to hit up the aquarium. We needed to ride just 12km to get there, and a nice tunnel took us through a mountain range instead of us having to go over it. I was tired, the stress of the string of repairs really getting to me. But we arrived with an hour and a half til closing and got to see the aquarium which was a big white building tucked up against sea cliffs on the sea of Japan. I felt instantly more at ease, the temperature feeling more moderate by the water, which was calm as the day went on.
The aquarium was lovely, with an obvious focus on jellyfish. I don't usually like aquariums or zoos due to what appears to be inadequate facilities for the inhabitants, but jellyfish in a tank? I don't think jellyfish care, or have the ability to care. This is like having a series of terrariums in my mind, jellyfish are one step above insects in my mind. And jellies they had, loads and loads of jellies, some on the larger side and lots of teeny tiny ones that almost can't be seen at all without magnification. They really do look like little automatons, just wiggling around. The tanks were all very tastefully lit, highlighting UV reactive cells, long streaming tendrils (that I'm sure have a proper name), and rainbow shimmering reflective cells that look deceptively like teeny tiny LEDs on little ridges. The prime attraction was the dream theatre, a dark room with a 5m tall tank circulating with hundreds or thousands of jellies and lit with a dreamy blue and purple light. We saw posters of famous artists performing in front of the jellyfish tank, the theatre being aptly named.
We missed out on the jellyfish ramen noodles, it being a bit too late in the day, but we did get to enjoy the late day views from on top of the aquarium. Why did we ever leave the ocean? Flat roads, sunsets unmarred by dumb terrain, beaches. It's the best. I love beaches. Looking at the map, we'd have to cover 120km to get to Akita to take the ferry to hokkaido, so we decided to cover some ground while we still had light so as to not overload the next day should something happen. On we went. We zoomed past pastel-lit beaches, seeing folks sitting in pairs, waiting for the sunset. We've seen people stop right on highways if they have a good view of the sunset. We had no such time to enjoy it today.
An hour or so later, we covered 20km to Sakata. Bryce wanted fried chicken for dinner, so we went to a takeout place and got way too much chicken for the two of us to eat. It can be hard to tell what you're getting, as one piece of karaage can be anything from a morsel to a meal, in this case we had more of a meal per piece along with rice and cabbage. We got some drinks from a vending machine and ate the food by a river, watching the water go by as the light faded. For once, we couldn't finish all the food, which was a shock. I always finish the food. Good job, random chicken place, you win this round.
I found a big empty looking beach in the middle of nowhere on the map about 10km north of our position, so we prepared to set out for a night ride. Rain was in the forecast for the next morning, which meant we needed a private place that we wouldn't be bothered for an extended time during daylight hours. And we'd need to reduce our kilometers for the next day as we'd probably have to bike some of it in the rain, which sucks. As we were biking through the city, we happened upon a summer festival, people filling the streets. The usual assortment of festival treats didn't steal our attention, but I stopped for a moment to examine a line of white painted ladies in front of a stage that were talking turns talking about something or another. If only we had the time to watch the performance!
We instead used our valuable time biking to a convenience store to one again get water, food, and some canned coffee for the next morning. Always an exciting time. We left the city, things now fully dark. The highway was not the best, lots of cracks and parts filled in with patches, and my focus wasn't the best. Obstructions become much harder to see in the light of a headlight, even harder to see when you have to use the dimmest setting as the headlamp always seems to be close to dying. My body bitched that it was the wrong time of day to be biking, I should already be setting up camp and kicking back, not pressing for an extra 10km.
We did eventually make it to the beach intact, if a bit worn out, rolling down a sandy road until we had to push our bikes over dune-encrusted paths. Nobody here except a handful of night fishers, but they only care about fish. We pushed our bikes along the beach until we found a lonely pair of shelters for picnics and began setting up there. It seemed like a good spot, and we could tie up the tarp for extra rain protection. Giant wind fences on the beach would help with any gusts coming off the sea, but we weren't expecting a lot of wind anyways. Feeling like I'd have extra time in the morning, I got to sleep instead, feeling more tired than ever.
I slept very long, clearly the need for sleep piling up on me. We got to bed a little later than I wanted, but it was indeed raining when I woke in the morning, so I went back to sleep and luckily got a few more hours. We discovered in the morning light that we were not the only ones to think highly of the shelters, with little ants crawling all over the outside of the tent. Not a big deal, but a little unnerving considering we haven't always been perfect about getting the zippers all the way closed. We had some breakfast in bed (which inevitably led to a spilled coffee) and read for a little bit, but debates about getting going started pretty quickly. The rain didn't look like it was going to let up, which meant we were going to have to get going or risk riding at night again.
It was late in the morning when we were ready to go, rain gear donned and our spirits as high as they would be all day. We had 95km to ride, half a day to do it, and we were already soaked. On we went. Rice planting is in full swing now, everywhere we go there's farmers hurredly planting thousands of tiny sprouts in prepared fields. Early on there was a bit of a roadside attraction in the form of a curiously coloured pond, which we dutifully checked out. The pond was indeed a brilliant blue green colour and very clear, like the water of some onsens we've seen. Reading a sign, the pond was the source of the little rivers nearby and the water was extremely cold which kept it from fouling.
As we rode, the mist rising off the hills looked like smoke. We hoped the rain would turn to just mist soon. Wiping my face for the hundredth time, we slowly pedaled on. Rain pants tug on my skin, making knee pain feel more prominent. We bike slower too, I think the water on the road is just harder to bike on. Feels like slow motion compared to fair weather riding. After 30km, I needed to stop and get some real food in me, I found a mandarin restaurant serving spicy ramen, which sounded perfect for a cold, stiff day like this. We left our dripping rain gear outside where it might get slightly dryer simply by gravity, and went in, still sorta dripping anyways.
Inside, the restaurant was filled to the brim with knickknacks and collectables and was bright and cheery despite the weather outside. I found a place to plug in my headlamp and we both ordered big bowls of spicy soup and colas for the sugar and caffeine boost we'd need to keep going. The soup was flavorful and delicious, with a ground pork that was sweet instead of savoury. Last time I made sweet pork it was kinda gross so it was neat to have a sweet pork that wasn't bad. I ate my whole bowl, needing all the calories I could get, and settled down a bit to check the radar for the area.
As can be expected for the coast, the weather was temperamental. It was good we got going, as the section behind us was being hammered, while we could expect a bit of a reprieve from the rain as we moved forward. That was about as good as we could hope for and with the clock striking 2 (and playing a song) in the restaurant, we departed.
The sky brightening a bit from a dreary grey to a less dreary grey, our moods lifted for a while while our jackets dried off in the breeze. The sights were beautiful, in a desolate sort of way. Something about staring off into seemingly infinite ocean is unsettling to me. The evergreens on rocky spits in the ocean reminded us of the west coast trail, a few unbothered sections of coast here and there revealing what this land is supposed to look like under all the concrete pylons and coast management techniques Japan loves.
After an hour, I began having some real issues. My heart rate had spiked, my vision was a little odd, and I was starting to not feel well. Not good. I drank a bunch of water, which helped, but eventually my body decided the spicy ramen was too oily and spicy for my guts and I went to destroy a convenience store. I felt better after, but I really should know better by now. There's so much oil in the cooking here though, it's hard to avoid sometimes.
We kept riding, now with no rain gear and keeping up a respectable pace. We went on a desolate road, giant windmills standing guard on the coast overlooking fields of windburnt trees all bent away from the water. Looks like this coast gets absolutely hammered by the wind, maybe I shouldn't complain too much about the rain if it's not windy as well. Things were looking up, our pace put us on schedule to arrive at 6, well before dark which put us in better spirits. Better spirits until Bryce's tire blew out.
Pulling apart the tire layers, incredulous that the so-called "flatless" tires would fail us now, we found a shard of black glass stabbed straight through the thickest part of the tire and a centimeter into the tube section. Well there's no bike tire on earth that can survive that, that one's just bad luck. We felt a little better about that as we set about replacing it. At least with the new rim Bryce had it was much less of a fight to get the tire on and off to replace the tube. Getting the bead to set was a pain, Bryce cycled the tube pressure three times and we even soaped the edge to get it to budge. It seemed good enough to me, but the rim of the tire definitely seemed a little inconsistent. The rain starting again, we debated what we should do, I argued that if he was careful and avoided bumps the bead might set itself and we didn't have any other techniques we could try. He wasn't able to pull the tire over any more and my hands were too weak to be of much help. We were wet and cold by this point, so Bryce agreed with this and we remounted and got moving. We could always take the train if we had to, but that wasn't an option we wanted to do just yet.
I was in the rear and I could immediately see and hear something was wrong with Bryce's bike, even though I was focused on the tire bead to see if it was setting properly. It looked like his front and back tires were tracking different paths and one or both seemed to be leaning? I know the front tire had a hub issue so I thought maybe they're just a bit off but after a while I called a halt as it looked just too messed up not to try reseating the axle. While we were redoing the rear axle, we discovered that a bolt holding the rear pannier rack was close to coming out altogether, the source of the terrible rattling I've been hearing for weeks now! That was a relief to fix, and the wheel seemed to be sitting better. Now we were quite a bit later, projections looking more like 7 o'clock and getting dark by the time we got to the city.
The sky was getting lighter, but it was the sun starting to sink below the cloud layer, signaling the end of the day and the last of our riding light. I was so tired by this point, bone tired. The rain makes every kilometer feel like two, I was sneezing again, feeling sad. Lots of harsh feelings were welling up, life starting to roar back into focus as all the things I pushed away for the past year demanded answers right now. I tried my best to file away the petitions as I could, but mostly I just tried to keep my head up as my mood sunk lower with the sun. My sinuses decided they'd had enough and shut down, making my head feel like it was a size too big. In the last light of the day we got to Akita, the end of our Tohoku adventure. The kindness of the people we met saved us from finding the whole region cursed.
I demanded burgers and fries to lift my soggy mood, nothing in my tool box keeping me happy. Luckily there was a good looking place near our hotel to try and it was a countertop kinda place. We went in to find a fully charming establishment full of locals and a pair of chefs working the counter. I was feeling just awful but Bryce had a good time interacting with people. Everyone was very curious about the two colourful and very wet foreigners who had wandered in after parking very large and heavy bikes. I joined in on the answers, having the better language skills whenever Bryce couldn't parse what was being asked, but I was more focused on the pile of fries and the chili burger I ordered. People were flabbergasted that we came all the way from the southern end of the country, the chefs assuming we must have come from Tokyo instead. Some of the other patrons started rattling off Canadians they knew, with Justin Bieber ("Justinoo Beeberu!") and Celine Dion topping the list. I ordered a BLT sandwich as I was still starving even after a whole meal. The chef brought over a bottle of nice sake to have as a toast to the brave travellers, which I had to refuse as I would like to recover from this cold sometime this century. There's so much booze that it's hard not to here.
To alleviate the embarrassment of having to refuse the booze, he offered me a ginger ale instead, which I graciously accepted. The other chef laughed as they pulled out a bottle "Canada Dry" she said, to the laughter of the bar. Taste of home in a strange place. I polished off my BLT (and considered a second) and while I'm sure Bryce could have spent all evening taking free shots of excellent sake with the bartender, we had to be up early, so we said our goodbyes and waved as we wheeled our bikes into the dark city. I left in a good mood, but tired as hell. Bryce was positivity beaming from the fun interactions, and the four drinks he had. The hotel was nearby, so it wasn't too hard. A parking attendant ushered us to a spot near the guardhouse, and we locked up there. He asked us when we were thinking of getting the bikes the next day, and when we said 430 in the morning he was a little taken aback. He understood that the ferry was early but that was too early for him.
The hotel room was nice enough, but all I wanted was a bath and sleep. There were bath salts at the front desk and we took turns soaking in the tub. I wasted no time, doing my thing, arranging my clothes for the morning, setting an alarm and going to sleep. 415 would be just around the corner.
submitted by pohltergiest to RainbowRamenRide [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:19 ThrowRAgemmmmm I (32f) found a letter in my husband's (32m) mail that order was placed in supposedly jewellery store. I am certain that its not for me. How can I deal with it?

Hi reddit, Throwaway account and english is not my first (or even second) language.
Yesterday I took my husband's phone to open baby monitor app to watch baby sleeping while I drink coffee and browse reddit. In open applications I had a glimpse of his mail and letter that stated that order was being processed succesfully. The sender had a name (GEM NAME), and I know that we have jewellery stores with such name. I didnt open it although later I checked it (we have access to each other accounts in some devices) and it was gone. Recycle bin also did not have and so as history search. I remember near what letter it was located but now nothing.
And now I cant get it out of my head. I definitely saw this letter and why it is gone now although other letters like spam, promos and etc are still there. I am not sure if its jewellery store or some other. I googled it but found nothing that my husband could buy something from, other companies with this gem name are very narrowly focused so there is no need to buy anything from there for common people.
I tried to create an account in this jewellery store but email from the site had different name (letters were not capital) but maybe its different when you place order without creating account.
We have no upcoming anniversaries birthdays etc. My husband very loving and caring. The best man I know.
But why there is no trace of this letter now.
What would you do if you were me? I cant tell I saw that because it will be implied that I do not trust him.
submitted by ThrowRAgemmmmm to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:18 okthanxbai I told my boyfriend to fix things

I’ve (37F) been with my (32M) boyfriend for 2.5 years now. It’s been tumultuous, and often just downright toxic. To make things more complicated, I’m 6 months pregnant with his child.
He’s in the habit of losing his s*** over small things, and when he does, I’m often the target of rage. In those moments, he says hurtful things, yells at me, and I end up crying and nothing I say helps the situation.
Today we had a whole day planned. We had to stop and get his phone fixed. He said he’d run into the repair shop, and told me to go to the grocery store next door and get a few things. I asked how we should meet back up since his phone isn’t working. He said he’d come find me.
I got the necessary items and put my basket down so I could go to the washroom. (I’m pregnant and have to pee every 5 minutes). I came back out and continued shopping. I was getting a couple oranges when I saw him walking outside and looking around. I left my basket and chased him, calling his name.
He was furious that he couldn’t find me in the store. He refused to do anything else with me for the entire day. On the drive home, he was yelling, talking about how I don’t care about him, and how dating me is like dealing with a goldfish.
He hid away when we got home. I was depressed and crying for an hour…. And then I got angry. It’s a holiday today and now my plans are ruined all because of a 10 minute ordeal. I started cleaning instead. I put on angry girl music and rocked out as I cleaned. I thought about the nasty things he’s said to me, today and in the past.
After a while he came down and asked what was going on? Why was I doing that? Why aren’t I trying to fix things? Why is the dirty fridge more important? Why was I being like this? Eventually he dropped to the floor and started crying. He was begging me for sympathy and love. He said he needed help.
Everything he said was making me more angry. I said these were my new plans since he disappeared on me. At least this way he didn’t have to deal « with a goldfish ». I was being very cold. I told him I wasn’t going to let him f*** with me anymore and I wasn’t playing his game. He asked why I wasn’t trying to fix things. I told him « why don’t YOU fix things for once? Fix this permanently! » I was ready to break up if he didn’t go seek medical help.
He said « fine I’ll fix things permanently » and he stormed out of the house on foot.
I let him go because I was so angry. But after a few minutes the conversation replayed and I realized how my words could be misconstrued… He’s a highly troubled guy who has had ideations in the past. I hopped in my vehicle and went looking for him for an hour. I even followed an ambulance because I was so worried.
When I couldn’t find him, I came back to see if he was home. He was. But he wouldn’t let me come near him. He said I didn’t get to act like I cared after I said that to him. I told him that’s not what I meant, but he won’t hear it. He insists he knows what I meant and I can’t go back on it now. We haven’t spoke since.
I don’t know what to do with this guy. He suffers from mental health problems but refuses to do anything about it beyond reading self-help books about spirituality, and working out. This isn’t the first or even 10th fight we’ve had like this. I’m having a baby girl and I know she can’t see this nonsense, but I don’t know how I will financially or emotionally survive.
I’m seeing a counsellor.
submitted by okthanxbai to domesticviolence [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:17 uncut-evidence Autozone Service

I have to say, the most organized and well put together Autozone I have ever been in the past 22 years is a store in Denton, TX.
There is a store manager by the name Manuel at the Teasly location that does a phenomenal job at helping people including myself.
I'm a retired Military Veteran and Manuel is kind hearted and strong. He helped me get a transmission for my van and honored me a veterans discount. He went all the way to help me get this thing and even called the manufacturer with my Vin to get the right one for me and even loaded it up for me.
I've never had better service at other Autozones but Manuel is definitely the man to help you and get you the right part.
https://maps.app.goo.gl/hmcbJUBadeUQGhhy5
submitted by uncut-evidence to AutoZone [link] [comments]


2024.05.21 14:16 azia_bakir_56 How to Select the Best Medical Transcription Company in Dubai?

How to Select the Best Medical Transcription Company in Dubai?
https://preview.redd.it/5dmxleicur1d1.jpg?width=5342&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10b3e90c6ec6e8c280d18a038f3ecc5f60ae7e53
In today's fast paced medical environment, the accuracy and efficiency of medical transcription services are critical. As healthcare providers focus on patient care, the need for reliable transcription of medical records, patient histories, and diagnostic notes becomes paramount. In a bustling metropolis like Dubai, where the healthcare sector is expanding rapidly, selecting the best medical transcription company can be a daunting task. This guide aims to simplify this process by highlighting key factors to consider, ensuring that you choose a company that meets your needs and maintains the highest standards of accuracy and confidentiality.
Understanding Medical Transcription
Medical transcription involves converting voice recorded medical reports into written text. These reports can include patient histories, discharge summaries, operative notes, and more. The accuracy of these transcriptions is vital, as they form a critical part of patient medical records and can impact future medical decisions.
Key Factors to Consider
1. Accuracy and Quality Assurance
Accuracy: The cornerstone of a good medical transcription service is accuracy. Ensure the company employs skilled transcriptionists familiar with medical terminology and procedures.
Quality Assurance: Look for companies that have robust quality assurance processes. This often includes multiple levels of review by experienced editors and the use of advanced software to minimize errors.
2. Turnaround Time
Speed and Efficiency: In the medical field, timely access to patient records can be crucial. Choose a transcription service that guarantees fast turnaround times without compromising on accuracy.
Flexibility: The best companies can offer flexible turnaround times tailored to the specific needs of your practice or healthcare facility.
3. Data Security and Confidentiality
HIPAA Compliance: Ensure the transcription company complies with the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) standards, which safeguard patient information.
Secure Platforms: The company should use secure, encrypted platforms for transferring and storing medical records to prevent unauthorized access.
4. Technological Capabilities
Integration with EMEHR Systems: The transcription service should seamlessly integrate with your Electronic Medical Records (EMR) or Electronic Health Records (EHR) systems to streamline workflows.
Speech Recognition Technology: Advanced companies utilize speech recognition technology to improve efficiency and reduce turnaround times while maintaining high accuracy levels.
5. Experience and Expertise
Specialization: Consider companies that specialize in medical transcription and have experience working with healthcare providers in Dubai. Familiarity with local healthcare regulations and practices is a significant advantage.
Client Testimonials and Reviews: Look for reviews and testimonials from other healthcare providers in Dubai. This feedback can provide valuable insights into the company's reliability and quality of service.
6. Customer Support
Accessibility: Reliable customer support is essential for addressing any issues promptly. Ensure the company offers 24/7 support and has a responsive customer service team.
Training and Resources: Some companies provide training for your staff on how to use their transcription systems effectively, which can be a valuable addition.
The Role of Virtual Webcasting Platforms
In the digital age, virtual webcasting platforms play a crucial role in the healthcare sector. These platforms facilitate real time communication and collaboration between medical professionals across different locations. When selecting a medical transcription company in Dubai, it's beneficial to consider those that offer or are compatible with virtual webcasting services.
  1. Enhanced Collaboration: Virtual webcasting platforms enable seamless collaboration between healthcare providers, transcriptionists, and other stakeholders. This can improve the accuracy and speed of the transcription process.
  2. Training and Webinars: Many transcription companies offer training sessions and webinars via webcasting platforms to keep your staff updated on best practices and new features.
  3. RealTime Updates: Webcasting platforms can provide real time updates on transcription status, ensuring that all parties are informed and can act promptly on critical information.
Top Medical Transcription Companies in Dubai
Several companies in Dubai offer exceptional medical transcription services. Here are a few that stand out:
  1. Acusis: Known for its high accuracy rates and robust quality assurance processes, Acusis is a popular choice among healthcare providers in Dubai.
  2. iTranscript: This company offers a range of transcription services and is known for its quick turnaround times and HIPAAcompliant processes.
  3. Medscriber: Specializing in medical transcription, Medscriber offers advanced technological solutions, including integration with EMR systems and speech recognition technology.
  4. Transcend: With a strong focus on data security and confidentiality, Transcend is a trusted name in the medical transcription industry in Dubai.
Selecting the best medical transcription company in Dubai involves careful consideration of several factors, including accuracy, turnaround time, data security, technological capabilities, experience, and customer support. Additionally, the integration of virtual webcasting platform can significantly enhance the transcription process, facilitating better collaboration and communication. By taking the time to evaluate these aspects, healthcare providers can ensure they choose a transcription service that meets their needs and upholds the highest standards of patient care.
submitted by azia_bakir_56 to u/azia_bakir_56 [link] [comments]


http://rodzice.org/