Top colleges for stds

I couldn’t tell if I should do discussion or episode response, hope this is ok!
So been watching their latest video on Meet The Robinsons (which side note: Alan why don’t you like this movie?? I’m very curious as it’s one of my top five favorite Disney movies and maybe it’s on the Paetron but I really wanna know why, if comfortable).
But oh man. This episode couldn’t have happened at a more appropriate ish time in my life. As I’ve been failing college. Something that has never happened with any of my schooling before. And it just continues to be more of a struggle every minute.
So now I have to tell my parents I am on academic probation and that I failed. And see. I know they won’t be thrilled by my reaction. They won’t be thrilled I don’t think I can keep pushing myself to the college finish line. At least atm while I’m un medicated and without resources to help my neurodivergent brain.
But. This whole time I’ve felt like such a disappointment and failure. But just this video with Bryson, Jonathan and Alan saying failure is a part of life, it makes you a human, it just was so needed.
So. I guess just all this to say, thank you for the reminder you three.
And. To anyone who is reading this, it’s ok to not be great at things. As that’s just who we are as people. And that’s ok.

I (30F) genuinely don't know anymore; I got my degree towards User Experience Design with a focus on accessibility and a background in print thinking I'd be able to make this my life. I loved that job so much; I immediately had offers lined up right out of college back in 2017 and it seemed like I was truly building a life for myself. One of my family members got sick, so I decided to work "only" 32 hours to be able to combine taking care of them with my job without getting in much trouble (having one scheduled day for hospital visits works wonders!)
but that all came crashing down. The company that I accepted the offer of to get the experience I needed to truly get my foot into the industry went bankrupt. I ended up having to accept a front-end development job at another company where I suffered Sexual Harassment that still is effecting me to this day. The company after that was absolutely amazing for the first 2 years; but then got an new CEO and suddenly I was expected to work 40+ hours on my 32 contract because they expected 32 hours of ticket work from me despite scheduling me for at least 15 hours of meetings a week; only to then accuse me of "refusing to adapt" and "just wanting to slack off". I eventually got an offer from an old coworker that went to another amazing sounding company because they were looking for someone just like me.
I made the switch in 2022. and at first everything was amazing until they suddenly dumped the workload of 8 people on me causing to work 100 hour weeks. between work and taking care of my family on top of some other private issues I was going through (My relationship had fallen apart and my ex was giving me death threats on top of my family member passing away and another one getting sick and now requiring care) I completely burned out. Eventually they stopped giving me work; undoubtedly in the hopes I would resign myself out of boredom; something I didn't. They eventually ended up firing me in December 2023 with a good Severance package.
I know the job market has been incredibly rough and especially my field has been hit hard with the introduction of AI; but I had hope I could eventually find another job with my Severance package giving me 6 months of time.
Those 6 months are now running out. I applied to 1000's of jobs. Often hearing back that they found someone with more experience, I didn't have enough experience, that I was under qualified, that I was overqualified, that I didn't talk about loving coffee enough in a motivational letter (yes, really. no; it was not for a coffee company)
I even started broadening my horizons and applied to jobs to work in a daycare which we have a severe shortage of workers in, which is a field I always had in mind as a backup. I told them my motivation, how much I was willing to learn and even pay for the course myself. I got denied because I was "overqualified" and "You strive to improve yourself too much and we are afraid you'll get bored might leave us soon"
I'm starting to genuinely give up; I don't really see any options anymore and I genuinely feel like I lost my entire life. I don't have much; because of the housing market I'm forced to life with family and because of that earlier mentioned breakup I'm single and in no way ready to date and build a life that way anymore. My job was my last tether to what feels like an "adult life" and I completely lost it.
I feel completely lost and I'd honestly love some advice.

Hi, I'm an 18-year-old male engineering student. sorry for the shitty English. First of all, I'd like to start off by telling you that I'm bisexual. So, I live in the men's hostel provided by the college. When I came here in the first year, I hated being here; the whole of the first semester passed just like that. During most of the first semester, I didn't make any connections with any of my classmates except for the two people who sit with me and two of my roommates. That's when I met this guy (I've seen him during class and in my hostel; he is in the room next to me). I've never actually talked to him. He asked to borrow my phone to make a call. After that, he started coming to my room somewhat frequently, and I liked that because I had a crush on him. Whenever he's in my room, he always sits next to me on my bed, sometimes sleeps on it too (it's a really small bed meant for one person), lies on my lap (sometimes sleeps). During the second half of the first semester, we slept on that small bed together almost every day.
In the second semester, I started having tendencies to come out to my friends there, but I didn't have the courage to do that, so I got piercings (piercings are considered kind of gay here). In the second semester, one night as we were sleeping around 3 o'clock, he rolled over and got on top of me (I wanted to kiss him, but I didn't because I didn't know if the roll was intentional). I felt like dying whenever he went home. In the second half of the second semester, something hit me, and I started to hate him to the core... I didn't want to see him or talk to him, but I never told anyone anything (he was still coming to my room and hanging out... I just kept a fake smile). The hate didn't last very long.
Fast forward to the third semester (new hostel building and new rooms), he's again in the room next to me. Still comes to my room and hangs out with me and my roommates. Same thing goes for the fourth semester too. During the third and fourth semesters, I've gotten really close to him... I really like him, but the thing is that I don't know if even he likes guys. Yesterday, he and I were alone in my room. There is a vacant bed in my room currently because both my roommates went home for the study leave. I stayed here, and he came back from home some days ago. Ever since he's been back, he's been sleeping on one of the vacant beds in my room. Yesterday, as we were talking about the yearly industrial visit, he came near me and sat next to me (I was lying in my bed) and started talking about things. After some time, he was lying next to me in a spooning position. Then after some time, he said, 'We aren't gay, but this feels gay,' with a really slow and subtle tone.
My question is... Is there any chance that he might be into guys? Don't tell me to ask him... We are not that close. Or give me some advise on how to proceed with this further.shouod I just forget everything and move on?
Help me, guys.
TL;DR: 18M bisexual guy has a crush on his classmate 19M who is really intimate with him, but he doesn't know if the class mate is into guys."

I (30F) genuinely don't know anymore; I got my degree towards User Experience Design with a focus on accessibility and a background in print thinking I'd be able to make this my life. I loved that job so much; I immediately had offers lined up right out of college back in 2017 and it seemed like I was truly building a life for myself. One of my family members got sick, so I decided to work "only" 32 hours to be able to combine taking care of them with my job without getting in much trouble (having one scheduled day for hospital visits works wonders!)
but that all came crashing down. The company that I accepted the offer of to get the experience I needed to truly get my foot into the industry went bankrupt. I ended up having to accept a front-end development job at another company where I suffered Sexual Harassment that still is effecting me to this day. The company after that was absolutely amazing for the first 2 years; but then got an new CEO and suddenly I was expected to work 40+ hours on my 32 contract because they expected 32 hours of ticket work from me despite scheduling me for at least 15 hours of meetings a week; only to then accuse me of "refusing to adapt" and "just wanting to slack off". I eventually got an offer from an old coworker that went to another amazing sounding company because they were looking for someone just like me.
I made the switch in 2022. and at first everything was amazing until they suddenly dumped the workload of 8 people on me causing to work 100 hour weeks. between work and taking care of my family on top of some other private issues I was going through (My relationship had fallen apart and my ex was giving me death threats on top of my family member passing away and another one getting sick and now requiring care) I completely burned out. Eventually they stopped giving me work; undoubtedly in the hopes I would resign myself out of boredom; something I didn't. They eventually ended up firing me in December 2023 with a good Severance package.
I know the job market has been incredibly rough and especially my field has been hit hard with the introduction of AI; but I had hope I could eventually find another job with my Severance package giving me 6 months of time.
Those 6 months are now running out. I applied to 1000's of jobs. Often hearing back that they found someone with more experience, I didn't have enough experience, that I was under qualified, that I was overqualified, that I didn't talk about loving coffee enough in a motivational letter (yes, really. no; it was not for a coffee company)
I even started broadening my horizons and applied to jobs to work in a daycare which we have a severe shortage of workers in, which is a field I always had in mind as a backup. I told them my motivation, how much I was willing to learn and even pay for the course myself. I got denied because I was "overqualified" and "You strive to improve yourself too much and we are afraid you'll get bored might leave us soon"
I'm starting to genuinely give up; I don't really see any options anymore and I genuinely feel like I lost my entire life. I don't have much; because of the housing market I'm forced to life with family and because of that earlier mentioned breakup I'm single and in no way ready to date and build a life that way anymore. My job was my last tether to what feels like an "adult life" and I completely lost it.
The state of the industry is awful, and I'd honestly love some advice.

hi! was never taught finances growing up low income, so i’m reaching out for advice. in college right now for chem, this summer i’m working two jobs and making 1.5k-2k a month. i’m in LA with my boyfriend, only paying 500 a month for rent since we share a room.
my parents don’t provide for any of my daily expenses, just graciously paying off my university. i don’t drive so i don’t have any big expenses like car payment car insurance etc, i get enough money for groceries with EBT, so i have pretty low expenses (barring my medical, but i’m on university insurance and they have covered 90% of all costs? i still don’t know how insurance works…)
building up my credit right now with discover, but currently all of my money is sitting in a capital one savings account (have had a capital one bank account since birth, so haven’t changed banks) with a 4.25% APY. 3% of my income from one of my jobs currently goes into a 401k sponsored by that job. i only have around 1k saved for emergencies, another 1k is saved for rent this summer.
what should i do with the rest of my money to grow it? i’ve heard vaguely about a lot of options like stocks, ETFs, and a bunch of other stuff not off the top of my head— but all of that info has been from things like tiktok so i don’t really trust it.
all i have in mind is that this summer i’m going through big medical and moving again, so i know i need a few hundred bucks saved. thank you!!

So, I (F38) was the only one at my parents home for a couple of weeks while they were on an out of country trip in March so I could house-sit and pet-sit their two cats and two dogs, while also keeping up on my college studies. We were having nasty weather the entire time the folks were gone and it's not uncommon that the weather might affect, or even knock out internet signal. Our neighbor is in her early 50s. I'll call her Jean. Some months ago, she had a roommate move in who is in her late 40s/approaching her 50s. I will call her Lisa.
During this stormy weather, Lisa texted me and asked me if our internet was working and if so, could she connect to it for the night because like me, she is doing college courses online and was in the middle of homework and could not get her laptop to connect back to theirs or get theirs to reset. I figured it was just the storm had knocked theirs out so I said, "Okay.But that password doesn't go to anyone else and please reconnect to yours when you get it back on." She agreed and thanked me. That was the second week of March.
This week and last week, the internet has been especially slow and that has been a seemingly increasing issue. Now, while I don't think it's solely due to anyone else using it, it did make me wonder if Lisa had ever got it switched back over. I had just assumed she did and didn't give it a second thought at the time. I shot her a text and asked her last night if she had switched back over to their internet or if, by chance, was she still using ours. It was late but as she is up late at night a lot and I could see the light still on where her bedroom window is from mine, I had sent it anyway. Almost immediately, I received the read receipt, but no response.
So, I mentioned the whole thing to my folks and told them I was pretty sure she just keeps using our internet. They were understandably irritated about it too so I went ahead and changed the password to our wifi, got all our devices at home logged back in and went to bed. Almost 7 hours later, I get a reply in which Lisa claimed she had just seen the message, that SHE hadn't been using our internet and had just been relying on her mobile Hotspot on her phone to connect her laptop to, but that Jean had been using it for their TV but "I guess you don't want us to have it since you changed the password."
Now, I really like Jean a lot and she has been super kind and helpful when our family has needed it and we try to do the same in return.
Jean has told us Lisa had agreed to a monthly rent amount but hasn't paid since the first month and keeps saying she has a check coming and the she'll pay Jean. Lisa does not contribute to grocery money. She doesn't contribute any rent so she isn't helping with bills and last we knew, the only thing she WAS covering was the internet bill. Lisa's boyfriend 'Greg' stays over for a few days a week and spends all day and night with her. He doesn't contribute to bills either and Jean has been absolutely stressed out over being the only one working. On top of all that, she never gets a break because on her days off from work, Jean's daughter drops her granddaughter off (and often in the afternoons after she gets out of work and her granddaughter gets out of school, too).
I ignored Lisa's message and after the folks got up, I told them about it. They agreed that considering "for the night" had been over 2 months and no one had asked if they could just use out internet for a while, she has no reason to send something so arrogant.
However, a couple of hours later, my mother says she thinks we just need to give Jean the new password because she has done a lot for us and she is dealing with so much stress because of Lisa and that if having our internet helps her out, then we should. I said I understand that but I AM concerned that if they give her the new one, it will wind up being given to Lisa, to Jean's daughter and her friend that hangs out there frequently.
I am POSITIVE that Lisa either told Jean that she was still paying for internet service and just told her what network to connect to or she told Jean that we said they could just use ours if rhey couldn't get their own and I don't know which. Whichever it was, Lisa lied. I HATE being lied to and I HATE being nice or helpful to someone and they take advantage of it. Now, with their concern about adding stress to Jean and being unfair to her, my folks have since changed their mind and think I'm being TAH and are even making excuses for Lisa now, suggesting I started up an issue. They gave the new PW to Jean (which again, I see nothing wrong with) knowing it will likely be given to Lisa again and that just feels like awarding bad behavior.
So reddit, AITAH?

Hey, old playecoach that doesn’t really do ultimate related things anymore due to health issues. My first year in photo/video I was at both college and club natties and had a fun time doing media, upgraded my camera expecting to do more, then a whole covid thing happened. Anyway, I have much fancier equipment now, and after editing a Callahan video this year it appears ultimate is still being filmed on potato-quality cams. Hate to say it, but it gave me the itch to come back.
If you were on a club team, how much would you be down to contribute for a day of your team getting filmed? If you were playing a tournament, how much would you pay ($2-5) on top of a player tourney fee for a photographer to cover at least one of your games during pools? Assuming that you get files for free at the end of a tourney, I’ve tried using the “honor system” before to have folks throw me some coin and that did nottt work out lol. So a payment up front situation. For the amount of effort, equipment, and travel I doubt walking away with less than $300-500 on the weekend would be worth for an average tournament, not a playoff series. Since it’s my full time job, it can’t really be a passion project thing. Would be curious to hear what Reddit cynics’ opinions are.
For anyone who may be interested, I’m mid Atlantic based, down to film some tournaments this year.

I’m considering acquiring my first horse, in a little bit of a non traditional way.
Some background: I am 28 years old, ridden horses for my whole life. 4-H as a child, IHSA as a college student, barn management after college. I have never owned a horse because being from New England, it can be very pricey to support a horse and the time never felt right.
Currently I live in PA in a more rural area where keeping a horse is significantly more affordable. I however, was not looking to buy, as I also don’t have much interest in riding anymore. I always assumed I would kind of trip and fall into horse ownership when some sad story passed close enough by me.
A friend of mine who works in the FEI dressage world is looking for a soft landing for an 8 year old Oldenburg gelding who they suspect of having EDM. It would be relatively straight forward for him to come live with me, and someday move to my property when me and my partner are ready to buy land. However, I had not heard of EDM until hearing about this horse, and though I am obviously doing research before saying yes.
I feel pretty passionate about interrupting the cycle for this individual horse. I’m sure there will be people in this sub who know how unforgiving top sport can be to horses who can’t quite hack it but humans don’t want to lose out on money. I’d love to give this horse an easy exit and never ask him to really “work” again. I called up an old instructor to try and get some wisdom and she said I should get a second opinion on his rideability, which broke my heart because that is exactly the cycle I am trying to spare him from.
Words of advice? Experience with EDM? I’ll take anything.

With college basketball being a free agent frenzy every year, will we begin to see widespread implementation of a GM position? Someone whose primary job is to assembly a roster using money and benefits and let the coach focus more on coaching? More like an NBA model. Of course the coach would continue to be involved, but would not be the top person in that regard. I know Villanova and Duke have a GM position, but not sure what their specific role is. It just seems like in this era it is extremely taxing for a coach to be the lead in both roles, recruiter and coach.

I am graduating this Fall (December) and recently I have had dreams of getting into an MBA program at a top school. I wouldn't say it's just for the money but it probably is. I don't come from poverty, but I do have pressure from my families side to be successful. My grandpa essentially pioneered a certain educational industry, that of which is under heavy criticism now. My dad owns over four small businesses and I think that in the long run I would like to be a business owner as well.
In my eyes, getting an MBA from a top school has much better chances of success than the risk of starting or purchasing my own business with the SBA. Neither my Grandfather or Dad have a degree, they both went to school for a couple of semesters before dropping out. My Mom does have a degree but never used it (she owns a small business as well).
I am graduating this December with a my BS in Business Analysis, Minor Marketing; I took college classes in high school and will be graduating at 20 (not sure if this matters). This school I am graduating from is not very notable. Admission rate is roughly 95% and the surrounding schools are definitely better. This isn't saying the education was worse, I have actually enjoyed my time here greatly and the main reason I want to get my MBA.
With that I will give you some of my stats:
Projected GPA: 3.80 (I started college Sophomore year of High School and didn't care much for it, recent grades are better)
ACT 26 (Took it Sophomore Year)
Have not took GMAT/GRE
Work experience: Have several manager positions, although short term, latest and current job as a Facility Manager. I am currently looking into jobs after graduation.
Based on these factors what would you recommend to me to get into an MBA program within the next 2-4 years?

If you are in top 20 in a batch of 202 students you can get packages better than most nitians and iitians Only true for top aktu colleges ( akgec, abesec, kiet, jss, iet, knit )
Top 13 students in a batch of 192 students of cse in abesec got the 44lpa package Source:- (https://abes.ac.in/pdf/pb2022.pdf)
Tell me if I'm wrong....

9 years ago, when I was in college, I was friends with this older guy (a journalist, he was 25, I was 20 and studying journalism). I had feelings for him, and we started hanging out and going on dates.
One night after a party, I asked him to come over to my place, and we drank some wine. He wanted to have sex and I said no, but he still got on top of me and penetrated me.
He then fell asleep in my bed and I went outside and cried, and fell asleep on a bench in the college campus.
In the following weeks, I didn’t wanna talk to him, but he kept insisting because he wanted a relationship with me. We slept a couple more times (I consented). I then broke things off with him for good. I never went to the police. Now it’s too late.
Years later, he contacted me to offer me a job at a magazine, I accepted but barely interacted with him and he later moved to another magazine. I’ve been in therapy since the incident.
Yesterday I saw he got an award for his achievements in journalism. It triggered me so hard. I posted on social media about how he raped me. This guy, who got an award and even has a podcast about sex education! He got fired today. He denied all the accusations. Most of the people are on my side, but many say it’s a she-said/he-said situation and it’s too late for me to make such accusations.
AITAH?

Hello,
This is a rant/seeking advice tangent that I’ve had been thinking about lately. For the past year, ever since I hit 225 on bench, I’ve lost the discipline I used to have to go to the gym. Therr are times where it’s just impossible to push thorough due to being a college student with a packed schedule. I’ve been trying to lose weight the past year and I’ve been fluctuating over and under 5 lbs my normal weight. I’m 190 lbs at 5’ 10”. My parents have commented on my belly and no matter how much I try to maintain a diet, my weight loss is SO SLOW. Yet when I take a week off from dieting (like vacation, finals, etc.), I gain back like 7 lbs. The muscle that I have on my arms is not defined whatsoever due to the fat on my arms. While I have the summer to grind at the gym, I also am starting my PhD this fall. On top of all of this, I have a caffeine addiction due to the gym that has made me intolerable to caffeine. I yawn at the gym after drinking 2 C4s pre workout still. I do cardio after every gym session and it’s been a struggle. I need genuine advice, can somebody give me tips on what I should be doing different?

i know that the stereotype of art school students is that they’re rich and privileged, but neither of my parents went to college and did not have an understanding about what i was getting myself into. i worked all through school and paid all of my bills myself, barely made any art for myself and only focused on assignments and just trying to survive. i made the decision to go to art school when I was 17, because I felt like art was the only thing i could do. but now all my love for it has been sucked out of me and I realized I hate doing art for other people. i hate that I was encouraged to turn a life long hobby into a career. over half of my tuition was covered by scholarships and grants, but I still owe a little less than $60k for a subpar education and spending over half of class time working silently because the professors didn’t put in effort outside of giving us projects they’ve reused for decades. i just wish I could go back and tell myself to not do it. on top of this, my mom royally screwed me over by putting $30k of private loans on a 5 YEAR PAYMENT PLAN without telling me until I graduated. yes i have since then refinanced. she also just tells me to get over it when I rant about how this all makes me feel and that I should be happy with the job I have. (non art related) this has all made me realize i put all my faith in someone to help steer me down the right path who never really cared in the first place. i just feel so lost and without direction in life, and so so different from any of my peers. most of them didn’t even have a job in school, and all of my free time went towards working. I just wish i could find someone that understands because ive never felt more alone.

Hello,
This is a rant/seeking advice tangent that I’ve had been thinking about lately. For the past year, ever since I hit 225 on bench, I’ve lost the discipline I used to have to go to the gym. Therr are times where it’s just impossible to push thorough due to being a college student with a packed schedule. I’ve been trying to lose weight the past year and I’ve been fluctuating over and under 5 lbs my normal weight. I’m 190 lbs at 5’ 10”. My parents have commented on my belly and no matter how much I try to maintain a diet, my weight loss is SO SLOW. Yet when I take a week off from dieting (like vacation, finals, etc.), I gain back like 7 lbs. The muscle that I have on my arms is not defined whatsoever due to the fat on my arms. While I have the summer to grind at the gym, I also am starting my PhD this fall. On top of all of this, I have a caffeine addiction due to the gym that has made me intolerable to caffeine. I yawn at the gym after drinking 2 C4s pre workout still. I do cardio after every gym session and it’s been a struggle. I need genuine advice, can somebody give me tips on what I should be doing different?

Before I get into it, I don’t want a divorce so please don’t suggest it. Also, please don’t judge too harshly. I’m imperfect and so is my husband. Because of that we have an imperfect relationship, but we love and appreciate each other deeply.
Me (23f) and my husband (30m) have been married for just over a year. We got married when I was 22 and dated for 2 years, so our relationship began when I was 20. I grew up in a devoutly religious family, and for most of my life I was just as devout. This meant no drinking, smoking weed, or premarital sex. That is, until I met my now husband. My husband never pressured me into doing any of these things, but he started to invite me and I started to join. This lead me to feeling a lot of religious guilt, but it also started to make me challenge what I had been taught for years.
While navigating our relationship I had to also keep up with college and work, deal with my mental health issues (I have bipolar II), and try to manage this faith crisis I had suddenly found myself in. It didn’t help that I had told my family we had premarital sex (yes, I told them. No, I probably shouldn’t have). So on top of everything else, I felt a lot of pressure from my family to get married so I wasn’t “living in sin”. Additionally, my husband and I were attending a religious school and could be kicked out if we were caught having sex (we could have gone to a different school, but this one was cheap and he was 1 semester away from graduating. I chose to go to this school when I was still a devout member. Many of the religion classes I was required to take would not transfer to other schools. This is why we chose to stay there).
We ended up getting married, and I love my husband. I have finally graduated from that college, and now feel regret about getting married so young. I dated only a few boys before my husband, who was my first boyfriend. I’m also bisexual and never really got to experience that side of myself. I’ve expressed these feelings of regret to my husband and he’s sympathetic, but he doesn’t completely understand. He’s had multiple long term relationships and a handful of sexual partners. I’m not jealous of his past partners, just that he got to have those experiences.
He has told me that he wouldn’t mind experimenting with ENM, and I did have one experience with a girl with his explicit consent. It was fun, but I don’t think I’m in the right place to continue experimenting with that (I am in therapy and I take medications to help manage my symptoms, but I still have a lot to work through).
I apologize for the long backstory, I guess I’m just wondering if you guys can relate or have any advice on how to deal with these emotions? I feel sort of stunted in that area of my life, but it might be because I’m stuck in the mindset of the grass is always greener…

hi! was never taught finances growing up low income, so i’m reaching out for advice. in college right now for chem, this summer i’m working two jobs and making 1.5k-2k a month. i’m staying in LA (moved out from hometown due to bad relationship with my parents) with my boyfriend, only paying 500 a month for rent since we share a room.
i don’t drive so i don’t have any big expenses like car payment car insurance etc, i get enough money for groceries with EBT, my mom graciously pays for university, so i have pretty low expenses (barring my medical, but i’m on university insurance and they have covered 90% of all costs? i still don’t know how insurance works…)
building up my credit right now with discover, but currently all of my money is sitting in a capital one savings account (have had a capital one bank account since birth, so haven’t changed banks) with a 4.25% APY. 3% of my income from one of my jobs currently goes into a 401k sponsored by that job.
what should i do with the rest of my money to grow it? i’ve heard vaguely about a lot of options like stocks, ETFs, and a bunch of other stuff not off the top of my head— but all of that info has been from things like tiktok so i don’t really trust it.
all i have in mind is that this summer i’m going through patch testing— and i don’t know how much that is going to be out of pocket. also, trying to reserve a couple hundred bucks for the end of the summer when i move into a new university housing apartment. thank you!!

The feeling of distance between us growing makes me feel uncomfortable. He is getting farther and farther away from me now. At first I didn’t feel the urge to reach out to him, but now at around 30 days NC I’m feeling it. We are both the dumper and dumpee. I instigated it on 4/08.
We’ve had bad things occurring throughout our short 5 months together, his estranged brother killed himself around 4 months ago, my sister died the day before I melted down and told him I was “letting him go with compassion”. I regret what I’ve done, it wasn’t nasty but it was over the top and I’m ashamed and deeply remorseful over this. A week after I did that I asked if he’d talk to me and he said he was “good.” I left it for another week and tried again, just a video apologizing in earnest and he said “ no need for further apologies. Please stop contacting me.”
I never meant to lose him forever, I just made a decision I regret while I was in full fight or flight mode. I hadn’t really seen him for 3 weeks and my attachment style activated and I tried very hard to not let my feelings and worries grow during that time,to think it wasn’t personal I wanted to be whatever he needed me to be without becoming a problem. Then my sister died and it led to me exploding. It was wrong to do. I hate how big my feelings get and how easily they can control me at times.
Next month will be 2 years I’ve been sober from alcohol. I quit drinking because I would do things like this. I started meditation and yoga and exercise and became pretty proficient at it. I am blessed to be able to learn and acquire new skills quickly. I thought that quitting drinking would be enough for me to not lash out at people and bottle up but it wasn’t.just made it take longer and require more but the impulse is still there and strong. I started therapy a month before the end, I wanted to be in time for him because I was fighting fear of this very thing happening for the duration of our time together and then it finally happened. I self sabotaged.
We weren’t even really together, it’s what’s called a “situationship” I would learn after googling various relationship related topics online. We did all the things a couple did, but he said he wasn’t ready for real and I didn’t understand at the time, I have next to no dating experience despite being 35. I’d just never met anyone who made me feel the way he did in my entire adult life. A few flings but nothing meaningful. I didn’t ever know what I was doing and I had a lot of anxiety all the time. I lost weight.
He would serenade me and I’d listen eyes full of stars. I fucked up and I feel like I’ve done decent healing the last 2 months but I want so badly to message him and tell him it would be different this time, that I understood better. That I’d had the time and separation from him to gain distance and insight into my feelings and behaviors and that I wouldn’t be so uneasy all the time. He wouldn’t have to reassure me. I want to tell him I’m happy, aside from losing him, and that I think if he liked me when I was depressed and anxious, which I was most of the time we knew each other, that he’d really like me when I’m happy. I want to know if he is ok and if he is healing from his loss. I want him to know I still care about him a lot and that I’d do still do just about anything if it’d make him feel better. I hate that he is probably alone most of the time now, unless he found someone new, I don’t think he has but it’s possible.
I don’t want to upset him either. I’m embarrassed and full of shame because I once again let my emotions get the better of me. I failed again. I’m not too down on myself for the failure because I know the ways I’ve improved over the last few years of trying to be better. This is a costly lesson for me.
I hate how he must think of me now. I feel like I can be what he wanted me to be now. My feelings are still there, but they aren’t dictating to me what I’ll do. I have felt like this for about a week and a half and so far have been able to not reach out. My heart reaches though and I can feel the empty space between us.
Forgive me my rant and I know this is hardly full of context, I needed to vent. I worry it’ll look like I was playing games or something but that wasn’t my intent at all ever. I feel like all I did was hurt this man and every single time it was unintentional, but happened the same. I’d look on in horror as I would do things that hurt him. I’d be surprised at how he’d react emotionally sometimes. Each time though he would get farther and I’d only realize how he cared when I started losing it.
I don’t like confrontation I don’t like hurting people, I like helping and I can’t help but feel I just let him down so much because I can’t keep it together sometimes. I’d struggle to know how to talk to him about things and that’s on me.
If nothing had changed I wouldn’t reach out but I’ve been in therapy, both group and individual, reading and doing independent research into attachment theory and other topics as well as enrolling in college for the second time and it’s now been around two months since I started some new medications for anxiety and depression so those should be in my system now too.
I want to be a bit selfish and just tell him I hope he is ok, I miss him, that I’ve been learning a lot, and that I’d like him in my life because I made a stupid decision after feeling on edge for so long and it wasn’t what I really wanted at all, at least not like this. I know this is super long idk what it is really, I guess it’s just a long diary vent type thing. I want to respect his wishes but this is hard. To be so close and in constant contact then nothing. Without any way to look at social media I’ve been feeling that he was a figment of y imagination. Good luck to you all, may we all get what we deserve.

I apologize in advance for the length of this thread, but by far this is the user that wrote the most comments in the video of our song. At first, he suggested Scepter and Reign, but he debunked this lead by saying: "Scepter and Reign can be crossed off. I have been corresponding with the lady whose name is mentioned in the legal document, Naomi (first name used with her permission, and only her first name) since Thursday. She was legitimately shocked her name was on the document because in all these years NOBODY ever contacted her regarding it. She thinks they may have realized how much money it would cost and probably withdrew. She knew both bands fairly well, scale of 1-10 she answered "6.5 maybe 7'ish". She designed 1 "logo" for each band that was literally just a sketch she made with their band names on them she could print out in the Xerox store she worked at. Scepter's original name was actually "Dungeon Master" but they changed it to fit their name on her design. As for the abandoned demo from Scepter, she said they abandoned it because they couldn't afford to produce it. They didn't even make it far enough to name their 3 or 4 songs. So, on to the big question, are either bands involved with this song? According to her both bands came out in 1985, and according to her this "The Falling King" song predates both bands by a year or 2. This is not Scepter or Reign, this song is older than both bands. According to her, she first heard this song on a Detroit station while visiting family. Even back then, the Detroit station personnel had absolutely NO CLUE who this was. She remembers her father making fun of the singers accent claiming it was a "Posh" accent and also used to think the lyric was "The fall, the fall in the king" lol. I explained how this song was recorded off of several stations in 1987 and she replied "How many songs do you hear on the radio that are several years old?". She was stumped this was played on Z-Rock because this does not sound like an amateur band to her. She is not the only person to make comments that this does not sound like an amateur band, this sounds professionally recorded and produced, something EXTREMELY few amateugarage bands could have done. I thought i had something, but at least i tried. By the way, apparently Reign still performs in the Pittsburgh area under the name "Metallic Thunder"." (THIS IS HIS LATEST COMMENT) If this is true, it means our search will be even more difficult.
In one of his earliest comments he said this: "My 2 oldest sisters (born in 1970 and 1972) actually remember this song being played by garage bands and local talents in the Coatesville PA area. However, they both swear on mom and dads ashes that the first time they heard this song, a local music festival in Exton PA, I was NOT born yet (I was born in 1984). Even back then nobody could say who it was or what the title was. In fact the one band from Downingtown PA used to refer to it as "The Dungeons and Dragons song". And by that i mean, according to my sisters the lead singers girlfriend (or his sister....they could never tell?) would be in the crowd and when they were ready to end their performance she would shout "Play the Dungeons and Dragons song". My sisters also remember the adults thinking this song was somehow a promotional thing for the PA Renaissance Fair. Unfortunately they cannot offer any clues to the identity of this band or songs title, their guess, back then and still today, was Manowar."
At first, he claims our band is Manowar, explaining: "I do not think Manowar is an obscure band, nor do my sisters. The "obscure" bands mentioned in my postings are all the local garage/amateur bands that they remember playing this song and most of those garage/amateur bands even back then, along with my sisters, were under the impression this was a Manowar song. Many people, not just on this post but others feel this is Manowar "pitch" song, other bands thrown around have been Iron Maiden, Overdrive (Or Overkill, i'm not sure if it's the same band?), Blackmane, Axis and Cirith Ungol (spelling?). Keep this in mind, it's not that uncommon for mainstream/well known bands to have unreleased music in their "library". A good example, ask the most diehard Rammstein fans what their first song ever was, they'll probably answer Du Recht So Gut or Rammstein. Most people have never heard their 1992-1993 pitch song, "Tier" (Monster, beast). In fact, Till Linderman himself stated in 2018 he was unaware Tier was ever recorded by anyone, yet alone put up on the internet. Like this "Fall of the King" song, "Tier" was toted as an mystery song for years but was in a group of 4 or 5 other songs that Rammstein did but never released. One of my favorite bands, Corvus Corax, actually had something similar happen, a song they did back in the early 90's, "Vampire", opening for another band was recorded by a fan in the audience and made rounds on the Neo Folk community ages later. Corvus Corax themselves heard it on a radio station in Denmark roughly 2009'ish and called them asking how and when they got that song because they NEVER recorded it for public use. Personally i cannot give a wager who this is? I am not that good with this genre so i go with what people older than me and much better with this music say. To me it could be Manowar, something they never intended to be released publicly, it could be the Z'Rose a bunch of people feel it is, it could be Overdrive/Overkill (i do not know if these names are the same band or 2 separate ones?), it could be me time traveling impersonating my great uncle Fred......ok that last one was just meant to be a joke lol." Then someone says: "has your sister contacted erik to see about the the song?" and he says "OH HELL NO!!! They haven't spoken since they broke up in 1991-1992. I did reach out to his brother probably a year ago and never heard back."
He suggests it's either Manowar or Sarissa (he mispelled them): "@aSome1 There's some confusion, my sisters never said Z'Rose was playing the song in our hometown area. Local teenage to early college yrs bands were playing it. They recognized this song when I was on a family Zoom chat, i had this song on in the background (by accident actually lol) and my oldest sister (#1 born in '70) asked what i was listening to. I turned it up and she shook her head and asked the other sister (#2 born in '72) "Oh my gosh isn't that that stupid Manowar song Erik and his brother used to play all the time?". Erik was the name of her high school boyfriend. They remember hearing it first at an amateur music fest when my brother (born in '82) was still a baby. Mainly they remember mom fitting all of them in her old "Batmobile" station wagon. By the time i was born in '84 that station wagon was gone for at least several months. The band names they specifically remember playing this, and keep in mind these were "Garage bands" from the 80's were: Venomous Vomit, Razors in your Coffee (Erik's band), Ash to Ash, Cauldron Kings, Coven of Metal, Pridesville, South of Hell and Purgatory. They said there were a few more, but didn't remember....or care....to know their names. (Disclaimer: Several peoples associated with those mentioned bands have been contacted by me and several have replied.....the most common reply is "How the hell do you know us!?" lol)
"I have actually been looking at this song for almost 3yrs. I've had some "good leads" and some "bad leads" and i've also had "WTF leads".......but at the end it is still unsolved. So far the biggest contenders, from people way better with this music than me (I'm more a symphonic or extreme metal person) have been: Manowar, Iron Maiden, OverDrive, Overkill, Onslaught of Destruction and Sonic Mahem. My sisters really believe it is possibly an unreleased or "pitch demo" of Manowar but they also said it might be a Greek band from the early 80's called Sarassa or something like that?"
Then he denies it's Z-Rose: "@lostwavefinder587 I have seen that name tossed around a lot on forums and random chats (this being one of them). Most people way smarter and better with this music than myself seem to have the opinion that it is not Z'Rose. They range in reason from: the equipment sound professional and they were not, the dates don't add up, Z'Rose only did covers so even it is them in the recordings it's still not their song.....one individual (a supervisor at work who lived in Texas during this time frame) actually said "Z'Rose wouldn't have been sober enough to finish that song". I have only heard 1 Z'Rose recording, and unfortunately the person who recorded it (I think the date says 1989?) spends the majority of the 5 minute video talking during the performance so all i hear is them and not the singer. I have to emphasize about %99 of this info i'm presenting is NOT from me but people who know this genre of music way better than me....i'm more Symphonic metal and neo folk (Corvus Corax, Heilung, Faun etc."
"Out of curiosity, since a lot people think this might be Z'Rose, has anyone contacted the family/families of Nick or Joe Cavazos? My "team" is looking into a blog page from 2018 of a pretty intense exchange between a blogger and a woman who is believed to be "Rocker Joe's daughter. In this exchange she states this song is NOT her dad and uncle's band. But it gets pretty rough because the blogger keeps pressing and let's just say some NSFW language is exchanged. I will only say this, the woman's name does match one of the names in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary, but they can't tell if it is actually HER or someone posing. I also find it interesting that in another posting of this song someone is claiming to be the nephew of both Nick and Joe.....but about a dozen people ask about this song and he does not answer them......but someone else will ask something unrelated to this song and he answers??"
"About a year ago on another posting of this song, someone had a link to a conversation with a woman who was allegedly Joe Cavazos daughter. She very adamantly denied this was her dads band, Z'Rose. They person kept pressing her and she did not budge a single inch, "NO, its not my dad's band". The only thing that could be confirmed was the woman's name did match a name in Julio "Joe" Cavazos obituary as his daughter. But if it was her or not I can't say? Many peoples on other postings and on forums have all claimed to have gotten in contact with Z'Rose and stated they responded "No" to this being theirs.
So the "Kings Fall" song by Bernard Cavazos is actually a completely different song. He is also not related to the Z'Rose Cavazos. Somewhere I read that the "Kings Fall"/"Fallen King" song by Bernard Cavazos is about a corrupt politician or mafia like "king" not an actual king. Again none of this is from me, it's from things I read, not me.
When 'Wang' did a video about several mystery songs he included this one. In his video (I don't know if he made more than one?) he talked about how that Bernard Cavazos has been contacted and has denied this is his Fall of the King song. If my memory is correct Wang read a message from him explaining his "king" was a corrupt politician or gang leader like king. Wang also mentioned there was another Bernard Cavazos who was a doctor and he is sick and tired of people contacting him about this song"
Someone that replied to him said:
"@CharlesMarkward probably this tape recording was an attempt from them to make something of their own, many bands have started this way, an example is the Brazilian power metal band Angra, they were first meant to be an Iron Maiden tribute but as things went by, they have decided to release things of their own...I couldn't find anything about this "Z'Rose" band in metal-archives, neither at Google with a simple research, but the data gathered until this moment make sense: the Z Rock radio is from Texas, the so called "Z'Rose" band is also from Texas, it was the 80's, so, without internet, this was the way bands used to promote their work...but your story adds some drifts from this sensible data available until now...they are/were from Texas, ok...but until then, they weren't any big group, which means they were probably 9 to 5 salarymen whose musician activity was on weekends and the money earned wasn't enough to keep up with, so, a trip from TX to PA is a long ranged one and expensive for their then standards, I can remember when I've read the Mick Wall's Metallica biography, in which they highlight how hard was for them to go all the way from CA to NY to record Kill em' All, well, unless someone sponsored the so called "Z'Rose from Texas" (like the Zazula couple to Metallica) to play in the events you've mentioned in PA...which means they were good and had potential (this "mysterious recording" doesn't let me lie), because it takes a lot for someone at the other eastern extreme of a big country like the USA to call someone all the way from TX to play in an event when probably there were good bands around and without the need of a sponsorship to travel and get some place to sleep and eat..."
Therefore Charles says: "Also, i am not the one saying it's not them. People much better with much more access to metal archives/records are saying it's not them. BUT, everything you said makes perfect sense to me and I have no argument against any of it. It would make perfect sense if it was a possible pitch demo Z'Rose recorded and kept along for a few years before a station played it. My sisters are %98 certain it was a Manowar song, the only other band they mentioned as a possibility is a Greek band i can't find anything about called something like Sarassa??"
Someone told him to contact Erik: "A little bit ago someone in here suggested i contact my sisters ex and ask where he got this song. I could not get a hold of him, but i did get in contact with his brother he played with. According to the brother they got the song from their aunt who lived in Philly (Center City) and would send them tapes of songs to play. This song was on a tape sandwiched between "4 or 5" Manowar songs. He specifically remembered this for 2 reasons: 1, their aunt wrote "Killing of the king by No Name" and 2, the last song on the this tape was labled as a Venom song (he did not recall which) but was actually "Melody of Love" by Bobby Vinton😂. So i think this is why my sisters keep saying it's Manowar, because if it was on a tape with a bunch of their songs that chances are they heard a crapload of times?"
He contacted Erik's brother (Erik is supposedly the ex boyfriend of one of his sisters) and received this reply: "Erik's brother returned another email I sent about this song. I made a post about it about a week ago. The brother says their aunt who lived in Philly included this song on a mix tape of stuff for him and his brother to play. This song was sandwiched between several Manowar songs and the last song on the tape was supposed to be a Venom song but was actually Bobby Vinton's "Melody of Love" 🤣"
Therefore debunking the possibility it's a Manowar song, he also adds: "She (the aunt) passed in 2014. She would record songs off the radio for them. She lived in Philly (Center City) but also had a place in Florida, so he was never sure which cities radio stations she would record from. This song she wrote "Killing the King?" As the title and "???" as the band name, but it was between several Manowar songs. I think this might be why my oldest sisters are so insistent this is a Manowar song because they may have listened to it with Erik and his brother.....it's a theory lol"
He also thought of Iced Earth as the possible band: "lostwavefinder587 I immediately thought of Iced Earth when I heard this song. Although it's likely just a coincidence, it's interesting to note that Iced Earth was originally called "The Rose".
Someone said to him: "if that's any help, the Greek band's name you're talking about is probably Sarissa. I don't think it's them, though: the vox sound kinda different, and their songs are mostly Ancient Greece-themed." And he replied: "Yes, thank you! All this time I've been spelling it wrong. I gave a quick listen to a demo of theirs from '86. In terms of sound and beat and tempo etc, they are pretty close to this song. In terms of vocals, they sound nothing alike." Therefore, he debunked Sarissa himself.
Now here he changed his version and provides a new lead given by his sisters:
"Holy crap for some reason my last post got cut in half and didn't include the following info, sorry! So the individual i spoke to and got the new possible lead is the former singer of the one band my sisters mentioned, Purgatory, (i do NOT have his permission to use his real name but his stage name was Tarantula). He confirmed he played this song "once or twice" but didn't know the lyrics so they just repeated several "blocks" over and over again. He heard it from a band in NJ and when he asked if he could use the song they replied along the lines of "It's not our song, we don't care" but gave no indication who it was or they even knew who it was? He suggested the band "Knightmare" because they were from Texas and he remembers all of their songs being medieval or medieval fantasy related. Supposedly they wore what looked like full on plate armor (he does not know if it was actual metal armor or something made to look like it). He saw them perform a handful of times because he spent summers in Texas on his grandfathers (mistakenly said uncle in my last post, sorry) ranch and would sneak off at night to "the metal scene" (i do not know if that was a club name or if he just meant that in general?). He began visiting his grandfathers ranch in 1980 and stopped when his grandfather retired in 1992. He gave an estimated timeline for "Knightmare" of 1981-1989."
He corrects himself by saying they are not called "Knightmare": Interestingly, my supervisor at work lived in Texas during this timeline (roughly mid 70's to mid 90's from what i can gather?) and when I asked him about Knightmare he had no idea. But when i mentioned they dressed up like knights in armor he suddenly looked startled and said "That wasn't their name, their name was Battle Battalion or some s*** like that".
But then he says: "So i posted a few months ago about this song, my sisters remember garage bands in the area playing this… I checked every band called Knightmare on Metal Encyclopedia and it doesn’t look like it’s our band." "Forgive my French.....Damn. I thought maybe it could have been a lead but i guess like dozens of others I've come across, dead end. I did a quick search for Knightmare a few weeks ago and I got all excited i saw one band dressed up like monks or Druids, but that band only came out in 2017. I think it's safe to say the name has been used by many bands."
Then someone asks him: "Does the name "Battle Battalion" show up on any Metal "pedia" sites? That's what my supervisor claims this "dressed up in medieval armor" bands name was?" and another one told him: "I saw some bands with Battalion on the metal encyclopedia and discogs and none of them are our band. I don’t think we should go based on what a band wears as our lead."
Then he debunks the Knightmare (and the Conquest) lead: "So a little bit ago i mentioned a band name "Knightmare" as a possibility for this song. Well the band was actually called "KnyghtBlyde" (Knight Blade) and i got in contact with the daughter of the vocalist last night. I played this song for her and after some confliction/hesitation she said it is NOT her dad. The biggest thing was all of her dads songs were based of Aruthurian lore and filled with references to Camelot, Arthur, Morgana, Lancelot, Excalibur etc. Since this song has none of that, its not them. She has no idea who this is. I did a quick search "Conquest 80's metal band Texas" and found 3 results. Conquest from San Antonio, split in either '85 or '87. Conquest from Dallas, '86 - '90. Khan'quest (possibly same band as Khanquistador?), no location given but split up in '88 then reformed in 2000 then......nothing? I could not find anything about any of their songs or demos or releases or band members. But it's obvious I was thinking of the wrong Conquest bands 😂 Conquest was ruled out. Someone who owns the tape was contacted and told us this isn't them."
And he says the singer of KnyghtBlade is convinced this song is from Battallion:
"So a little bit ago I mentioned getting in contact with KnyghtBlyde singers daughter who states that this is NOT her dad. She contacted me this morning, her father thinks this song might be by a band called Battalion. But her father said Battalion also went by the name AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault (or Artillery) in their early days. According to her father AAA/Battalion were from Texas but at least 2 of their members were originally from Chicago. Has anyone ever heard of either Battalion or AAA, Anti Aircraft Assault? The closest I can say is my one supervisor at work mentioned a band Battle Battalion from Texas when he lived there."
Then someone replies to him: "you are right there is a band named Battalion formed in 1984" He says: "I cannot find a single piece of music from this particular "Battalion"? From what I could find they formed between 1983 and 1985, split, reformed under a few possible names, split, repeat. 2 people I asked did say they remember a band of some sort from "out west" Anti Aircraft A-something, but neither could give any info."
Now here, he suggests it could be a Talon song:
"So here's a potential lead for everyone: I was just playing this song for a friend who is obsessed with all metal music. She asked me "Where did you get that Talon song?" Talon was/is a German heavy metal band from the early 80's that released several demos and full on albums between '83-'89. Almost all of there songs were medieval themed, especially their 2 demos. Herr's the thing, they supposedly have 3 unnamed tracks from both demos, one allegedly called "King Slayer". I listened to a bunch of there songs and I have to say there are several songs where the singer sounds exactly like our mystery singer, but then the next song they sound nothing alike. There was one song called something like "Execution" that the opening guitar sounds like this songs opening only slower? I'm not saying it is Talon, but it is possibly something to look into or at least consider?"
He also claimed the singer sounds like Bruce Dickinson (which has been suggested many times):
"I've said many times that I personally feel this vocalist sounds extremely close to Bruce Dickinson. There is a clip of Bruce singing Tom Jones' "Delilah" on either a talk or game show, and his opening of that song is nearly identical to this Fall of the King vocals! Tone, tempo, cadence, pitch......it's really really on spot. I am NOT saying it is Bruce, I'm just saying whoever it is does a good job singing like him."
He says this song could be made by Eviscerator:
"Hello again everyone, has anyone ever heard of a band from Britain, late 70's through late 80's called "Eviscerator"? Very very long story short: I played this song at a Viking/Pagan/Neo-Folk/Black Metal "bar" about half a mile up the road from my place and the one patron who looked like Elvira and Lilith Bathory had a daughter together (HOT HOT HOT) comes over and asked me to replay it and she sang along with the recording with about %95 accuracy! Oddly, at the end after the 4 or 5 "The Fall of the King"s, she suddenly sang "The evil one now wears the crown, all hail the evil one" and head banged for a few moments. According to her, this song was by a band called "Eviscerator" and they always claimed this song was written as a pitch track for the movie Heavy Metal? I mentioned how this song by numerous accounts was recorded here in the USA in 86-87 from stations in Texas, Chicago, Cleveland, NYC and (by only one account) possibly Florida. She didn't feel there was an issue with that as stations will often play random things just to fill the spot including songs that are several years older. I asked about her added line at the end and she stated "I didn't add s*** bud, whoever recorded it must have cut it off before they got to it". I mentioned how numerous people strongly believe this is the work of Z'Rose, she said they probably covered it a bunch of times but it is not their song and even stated that this particular recording sounds like it could be them covering. She was more familiar with Z'Rose than me, she commented "The 3 Cavlaros brothers from Texas right? The singer was the oldest brother Jeff?" (I know that's not their name, i only included it for aunthenticity per context of our discussion, the last name is Cavazos and there was only 2 of them right?). She also told me Z'Rose had about a dozen other names through their years including "Gypsy Rose". I asked how she knew this British band "Eviscerator" and she answered that she lived in London from 78-85 and this song was played a lot on "amateur hour" on several stations, especially university stations. This kind of took me by surprise because i thought she looked younger than me (I'm 39) but she lived in England for college and her first husband in the late 70's??"
"In my last comments i mentioned a bar i went to was going to have a mini concert featuring bands that specialize in black metal and 80's tribute metal and i would play this song to see if any of the band peoples or concert goers would chime in. I did just that and got a few hits on the radar with a few of the band members. The one band, Inviaat, the singer says he remembers this song being played on a radio station in Philly PA for an entire summer because that station was trying to find the band. He does not remember the specific station but said it was near the Taylor University campus (my understanding is that there is several?) because the station thought it was the students from that university's music program. When i asked him when exactly that would have been he said Summer of 1983 because he was married on Halloween 1983 and was hoping the station would find the band so they could play at his wedding. A member from the local band "inductus Mortis" said he recalls that song being played "somewhere in the mid 80's" but does not remember if he heard it in Chicago or Cleveland because he bounced between them. I asked several bands, include the Venom tribute band Poisonous Whisper if anyone had ever heard of a band name Eviscerator from the 80's. Only one person thought he heard the name but it wasn't a band name it was a compilation album of NWOBHM from roughly '83-'84, but couldn't tell me anything other than that. As for the other concert goers, the #1 response i got from them was along the lines of "Dude you can sing, you should go pro!".....in other words they thought it was me promoting myself (I wish i could sing like that!!). the #2 response was people thought it was Manowar. After those 2 the guesses were the usual ones i have seen here and everywhere else this topic comes up: Blackmaine, Axis, Overkill, Overdrive, Black Sabath, Iron Maiden, Anthrax, Slayer, WitchAxe and 2 people even asked if it was an Ozzy Osbourne demo."
"I asked around, including my oldest sisters I've mentioned in my postings, about Eviscerator. The only person who heard of them, the one from this time-frame not the other 8 or 9 bands from the 2000's with that name, said they were a generic ManowaIron Maiden/Judas Priest tribute or more accurately, ripoff, band who sucked. I am not saying I buy this woman's account, but i'm also not discrediting it or calling her a liar. Her familiarity with this song and her accuracy with the lyrics makes me believe she knows this song from somewhere.....what that somewhere is, i can't comment because i don't know?"
"So far my friends and I have several "pings" to look into, the name Eviscerator has absolutely nothing from the time frame we're looking at. But there is (was?) a "Lee Lesaat" Canadian/British "mercenary" (did not belong to any band but would play for others) drummer who now lives in NYC my friends are looking into.
There is an 80's metal/black metal tribute concert this Saturday at the bar I was at last weekend. After the bands play their sets they have an open mic like set up where you can play your own music (as long as it fits the theme). I'm going to try and play this song and see if anyone, bands or crowd or food vendors etc, have any reaction.
And by "pings" I just mean responses/possible possible long shot leads. The guy or girl claiming to be a psychic vampire who time traveled and wrote this song for The Lost Boys movie is NOT going to be one of them😂"
Then someone asks: "What band is this Eviscerator ? I found a band that was formed in 2012 . Furthermore tthe song is not in the metal archives I searched through lyrics was not found." He says: "Allegedly they were in England in the 1980's, but the woman stated 2 of them had New York accents. If all of her account is true and accurate, they were NOT a professional big name band. I did find several bands with the title "Eviscerator" (in different variations) but all of them were from the 2000's. The only "pro" band with that title I could find was a Hungarian band from the mid 2000's. I asked Satanic lady if she remembered any of the other bands that played alongside "Eviscerator" and she only remembered 3: "Band-Shee" (an all female band....get it?) Gargoyle, and Werewolf Tears."
"I have a very very small update for everyone, but it's still an update nonetheless. The mystery succubus looking woman who said this song was by Eviscerator and sang along to it (even when I "accidentally" muted my phone to see if she was just repeating what she was hearing.....she was not) has been identified by my journalist friend! We are going to try and get in contact with her and see if there is anything else she can remember about "Eviscerator" that could help. I'm not going to get my hopes up, but her familiarity with this songs lyrics and the fact she sang almost in perfect synch with the beat makes me feel she really did know this song from somewhere in her past. That or she is a very good actress? Lol
I found only 1 solid, confirmed band with that name but they were from mid 2000's Hungary. But several peoples now and then tell me they remember hearing that name in the 80's as various things; crappy garage band, NWOHBM compilation album/work, some sort of event space or name, most recently someone claimed he thought it was the stage name of a singer but didn't know who or what band. I'm trying to get in touch with the woman who originally mentioned that name."
He posted this comment that lead nowhere: "2 very small updates for everyone:
1) The Viking/Pagan/Goth/Black Metal themed bar just around the corner from me is having a New Years event tomorrow night. They actually agree to give me a "booth" where i can have a "guess this song" set up. And, it will be right next to where the bands play...I'm going to be between the "stage" and the food truck lol
2) The one radio station i submitted this song to will play it on their "X hour" on 1/8/24. It is not a hugely popular segment, maybe a few hundred listeners, but it's better than nothing.
Here's to the New Year and hope this song and numerous others get solved!"
"So the station played this song Sunday night/Monday morning. They played it 4 times between 2:07am - 3:12am. They received 9 calls about it and about a dozen emails (I seriously didn't know they had an email!?!?!?). Unfortunately the majority of contacts were people either asking for them to replay it or people thinking it was Manowar. There were a few Iron Maidens and one or 2 Ozzy Osborne's. Only 2 people stated they heard this song before. Unfortunately they heard it from "some kilt wearing guy at blank bar plays it, I think it's him self promoting". Yes that's me they referenced and no it is not me singing lol"
He suggest matrixx as a possibility: "There's a band called matrixx that has been giving me interest. They were only around for two years due to financial struggles in their stage. If you look up attaxe and fiinal notice they share two members of matrixx. Their drummer and guitarist sound very similar to the band from this song. It's pretty crazy too because they have a song called defy the king. They also had a label to produce their songs which is called Suma Recording Studios. This may be the reason why the audio sounds too good for a small band. I hope that this is the band! Too many good clues that I found"
He debunks the Steven Lindfield lead: "One of the names thrown about here and there on posts about this song is a Steven Linfield ("Lindi") who bounced between Chicago and NYC in the 1980's. His alleged involvement varries between being the DJ who allegedly played it on a NYC station, to being a Chicago stations record manageclerk etc etc. I got in contact with him yesterday. He denies having ANYTHING to do with the airing of this song and does not know how or why his name came up. While he did work at 2 stations (NYC, then Chicago during the summer) he was an overnight watchman (security). However, he does recall this song being played on "some amateur hour crapshoot" in '86 in NYC a bunch of times. At that point in '86 he claims people were referencing it as "The King Song" or "The song of the King" (drawn out to match the singers "The Faaaalllll, the fall of the kiiiiiing") and it was already 2 or 3 years old at that time. He did explain that at least at the Chicago station there was an amateur drop-off slot that the dj's would pick through and play random "no namers" labeling them as "space filler". Because they would be played, literally just to fill space, they were NOT mandated to keep any records of them. Sometimes the dj's would just make up names to some of these. One of his main duties was to check the drop-off to make sure there were no bad things thrown in there instead of cassettes. Another dead end, but at least we rulled out one theory......silver lining??😂 LINDFIELD, not Linfield. Darn autocorrect on this phone."
He is convinced it's a professional band's demo: Thats why a lot people I have introduced to this song think it's a professional band, or at the extreme least an amateur band playing with top level equipment/sponsor? 1983 guy stated they sound like they have equipment his garage band "couldn't even afford to dream about looking at yet alone use". It's also one of the reasons my 2 oldest sisters insist this is a professional band (sister #1 says Manowar, #2 says Manowar or Sarissa) because there are no goofs or mistakes or errors. My sisters gave an example of a garage band from their Kutztown university days, "Freefall Abyss" that self released a demo and in one song you can hear a telephone ringing in the background and in another you can hear a fan or ac unit going.
He contacted a girl named Della: "This song was actually played on an old Philly/NJ station on the segment "Della names your tune" in 2009. I was able to get in contact with "Della" (real name withheld by her request) who at first stated "I played thousands of unnamed songs bud, I probably played this one 100 times, sorry i wont be much help" . Then a few days later replied "I do recall this one, it was sent in from a local listener who had it labeled as Dungeon Master or maybe Dragon Master on a CD with a bunch of old early Manowar, JudaPriest, Iron Maiden, Megadead, Metallica and AngelWitch songs. He or she claimed their father had this song on a tape from his college days. Nobody knew what or who it was back in '09 or '10 and as far as I know nobody figured it out when I left the program in '15." The only name she gave, and I don't know if this was even a real name or the drummers "stage name" was Leopald Lestat.........I do have 2 people looking into it (from a metal dating site of all places). Disclaimer: I know some of those bands are misspelled, I purposefully left it that way because that's how she sent it to me."
"I went down that road, you nailed it right on the head. There is no way to track down who that listener was. The only hint she had, in the form of the note attached to the CD was the person said they were from Radnor PA. I couldn't tell you because the other songs kind of bounce around in terms of year: there's a Judas Priest and an Angel Witch song both from 1980 but then there's a song from Megadeath (I believe Megadeath came out in '85?) and a Metallica song from '86? For some reason my one comment didn't show up? Della gave a pretty big hint, she said the mailing address on the CD was from Radnor PA, but the phone number included was a landline for a Chicago address. Her and the station managers assumed it was a "shadow number" and didn't bother keeping record of it. A lot of her requests had local addresses with out of state phone numbers, cellular and landline."
He suggests Dungeon Masters: "I have a potential lead, "Dungeon Masters" from Pittsburgh PA? Long story short: everyone at work talks about a "hot nerdy chick" who works at the one antique book store in town and she is a music genius and knows EVERY song people play. So i decided to test it. I played this song and she stated "I think thats Dungeon Masters, they were from my hometown of Pittsburgh PA back in the early to late 80's. Thats either Dungeon Masters or someone doing an incredible job imitating them?". Given that Cleveland is only a 2-3 hr drive from Pittsburgh (from what Steelers players say) i think this could be a possible lead and explain the Cleveland recording? Again, this is only a POSSIBLE lead, but i think it has potential?
Currently my one "source" is looking into it. He is not always accurate (as evidenced when we were looking into Conquest) but its better than nothing."
And someone adds this: "Della said the same Dungeon Masters so better look into it"
But he says this: "Close, "Della" stated the listener who sent in the CD had this song labeled as "Dungeon Master?", not a band name. But I am looking into it as best as I can. I found a Pittsburgh band "Dungeon" but they're NOT metal they're an Omnia/Faun like band (neo-folk I think is the term?) formed in 2018. I sent word out to the people I know and my "team". Now it is a waiting game."

The main events take place in the summer of 2023, but before that there’s some pretty crucial information you need to know.
Many moons ago, three or four years before I was forced to live with the burden of knowing my dear friend, some shit went down.
Sophomore year of high school, Heather and my now boyfriend Tony were besties with another girl, that I will call Jane (the sweetest person I’ve ever met, by the way). At some point, Jane and her boyfriend went on a break, and Heather decided, for some reason to this day unknown, to try and sext her best friend’s ex boyfriend. I say “try” because he never really indulged her, which made the whole situation all the more embarrassing. Heather, however, lacking self-awareness and critical thinking skills, decided to keep this up for over five months, after which Jane and her ex got back together, and he told her everything. Contrary to Heather, Jane decided to be a good friend and wait for Heather to come clean about her actions without revealing she already knew everything.
And so she waited. But Heather never said anything.
Keep this in mind, it’ll be important later.
Fast forward to February 2022, yours truly is introduced on the scene by becoming Heather’s roommate during our first year of college. Surprisingly we got along pretty well, we became really close friends in a very short time. She was also the extroverted one (also important) of the two and really helped me come out of my shell, so for a while I was really grateful to her. Anyway, throughout the three months we lived together she was constantly talking about her friends Tony and Jane from back home, but especially referring to Jane as her best friend, the only one that really knew her and that she really trusted.
Her friend Tony was also a very popular topic in conversations, and the reason she convinced me to visit her home country that summer, which resulted in us dating but I will spare you the details of that because it’s a different story (although a good one too).
The summer ends. She moves back to her country, I go back to mine, now pursuing two long distance relationships, the one with my boyfriend and the one with my only friend. So, in January 2023 plan a trip there with Tony but I decide not to tell Heather, and to let it be a surprise instead.
This is where the thing I told you to remember comes back for the first time, and I get front row seats for this years-long conflict finally unraveling.
Jane decided she had enough of waiting for her friend to become decent and slowly started growing apart from Heather, who had actually started the fight by accusing Jane of ignoring her.
When asked about the reasons for her behavior, some of Heather’s responses were, and I kid you not, “BRO I HAD A PLAN” and “IT’S LITERALLY NOT MY PROUDEST MOMENT”.
So. Yeah. Needless to say, they stopped being friends.
Now, for some reason, Heather decided to start this fight on the groupchat with my boyfriend, which meant I had access to everything, and after learning about everything I started to question my friend’s actions for the first time. Like, yes I knew she was a bit stubborn, and annoying, but who isn’t. Betraying someone you have talked about multiple times as your best friend and then lying about it for years, however?
But I decided to put my worries aside for the moment and just be more careful around her before I actually formed an opinion. I also had never met Jane before so at that point it probably wouldn’t have been my place to intervene.
During my trip, I get the idea to plan a surprise party for Tony in the summer and I share it with Heather who seems on board and ready to help.
That aside, the rest of my visit was pretty uneventful up until my last day there.
It being my last day, I wanted to spend it with all my friends, so me, Tony, and Heather met up at a mall to hang out. After a while, I noticed Heather looking pretty down so I asked her if she was alright. She told me she was feeling a bit worried because she got the impression that Tony was growing more distant from her. She revealed to me that this actually already happened before, during Tony’s last relationship, and she was scared it was going to happen again. “And I’m so sorry for involving you like this but do you think you could talk to him for me?”
Now, you have to know Tony and her were never the best of friends; he’s always been closer to Jane than he was with her, simply because they don’t have many things in common. Heather also had the habit of constantly bringing up his ex in my presence, by making weird comparisons with me about literally anything. “Oh, you’re dyeing your hair red? Tony’s ex also dyed her hair red for a while. Omg your eyeliner is so good, you know Tony’s ex actually—”
No. I do, in fact, not know and I would like to keep it that way.
So when she mentioned his ex, being the idiot that I am, I felt so bad because I somehow assumed it was my fault, that I distracted him from his friends with my psychic evil girlfriend powers and therefore it was my responsibility to fix it.
So in May, I start planning Tony’s birthday party and Heather decided that for some reason it was her job to invite people and plan activities and literally plan the whole fucking party actually. She kept making suggestions I knew he would hate and inviting people he outright said he couldn’t stand, until I had enough and was forced to put my foot down. I let her invite her boyfriend and a friend of hers and handled the rest myself. In the meantime, I contacted Jane. Because unlike Heather, I know my boyfriend well enough to understand who his friends are so I always knew Jane was going to make the list, which I anticipated to Heather back in February. Her response was something along the lines of, “It’s okay for me if it’s okay for her”, which I thought was good enough. After all, I wasn’t expecting them to chat like nothing had happened but I assumed they would both be mature enough to put their differences aside for their friend’s sake.
The day of the party comes and Heather and I get there early to set things up, and when we’re in the bathroom doing our makeup she goes, “Hey, this might be a weird question but did Jane mention if she was bringing anyone?”.
This is where I might have been a bit of a bitch. Because Jane did actually ask me if she could bring her boyfriend, the same guy from the story that keeps coming back, and she even apologized for that, but knowing there were going to be three couples at the party already, including Heather and her own boyfriend, I didn’t even think twice before saying yes. However, I also failed to mention that to Heather until the day of the party.
When she found out, she was gone. Completely lost the plot, would not hear reason. She spent the whole evening sitting on the couch next to her boyfriend, with her back to the rest of the party, ignoring everyone else unless they asked her a question directly or forced her into conversation. After the umpteenth failed attempt of including her I felt so guilty I went to cry in the bathroom thinking I had ruined my boyfriend’s party because Heather was not having fun.
Days later, when all of this turned into a paragraph fight via text, instead of apologizing she kept attacking Tony for being rude to her and not understanding that she is very introverted and has “major anxiety”, and that was the reason why she didn’t even try to celebrate his birthday with him once throughout the night. Something I found hard to believe as I had been in that position before, while she was the one to help me out of it, introducing me to new people. So I am well aware of what it means to feel out of place, which is why I tried my best that night, and I also know that if she really wanted to do more, she would’ve.
During the fight, I finally had the opportunity to really talk to Jane for the first time and finding out about some things Heather did to her while they were friends reminded me of something else she did to me.

Back in November 2022, I got on birth control. Naturally I texted my friend, telling her about it.
Her response was, and I quote: “I have a theory. I’ve noticed a pattern where all of Tony’s girlfriends (ex and you) have started taking birth control since dating him soooo he either forced the girls or the girls don't care about STDs and accidental pregnancies. And the side effects obv.”
So I brought this back up during our fight. She tried to deny and to claim she was simply in “shock” because of my sudden interest in birth control, but I sent her back the proof of how she ignored everything I was trying to tell her only to keep trying to prove her hypotheses. My message said: “I was excited because I had done my research, I found a gyno and I went on my own and I texted you knowing that I couldn't share that excitement with my mother so I thought my friend would understand but instead you just came up with conspiracy theories about Tony forcing his girlfriends to get on BC or his girlfriends not caring about accidental pregnancies which was extremely insulting and I still don't know what your intention was because if you were joking it wasn't funny. I was being really vulnerable and you just basically chastised me. I can understand not agreeing but there's ways and ways to say that, you can still be happy and supportive while disagreeing, which was not what you did at all.”
She apologized but also said “I’m sorry you felt that way”. I decided to leave it at that and forget about it.
A couple of weeks later she angrily texted me wondering why I didn’t wish her a happy birthday.
So, AITA?