TLDR

hi hello,
honu wrapped is a new feature in honu that lets you get stats for characters over the year of 2023. while this is not 100% accurate due to dropped connections, bugs within honu, DB issues, restarting honu, etc., i am confident that at least 99.5% of the data was collected and stored
if you pay for mobile data, do not load one of these on mobile. they can take 10s of MBs to load a single one (i've seen some larger ones take 230MB of data transfer)
here is a link to make your own: https://wt.honu.pw/wrapped
i hope you enjoy looking at this data as much as i do :D
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examples

here is an example one: https://wt.honu.pw/wrapped/a91bfc0e-ba7a-4be9-849b-54e34c3c0080 (these are my live characters)
there are two different ways to view the data

highlight view

example screenshot: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/774160564468973611/1192515579484057600/image.png
this view was designed by Lyyti, and is the nicest UI on honu so far. she also edited each of the background pictures you see. huge thank you to Lyyti for making this view possible and nice to use. each of the 3 panels gives you a different picture depending on different stats
top panel: based on the total number of kills you get (mod 13)
middle panel (infantry): based on your most played class and faction. NS shows VS models cause i was too lazy to get pics for each NS class (except ns max)
bottom panel (vehicle): based on your vehicle with the most kills. faction independent vehicles (lightning, galaxy, etc.) just show as one faction
as a nice happy coincidence, this looks fine on mobile!

list of tables view

example screenshot: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/774160564468973611/1192515629157191700/image.png
the list of tables is how i first designed wrapped to look like. similar to an outfit report, it's a list of tables that give you tons of information. i am happy with the color additions on the side however, this makes it (i think) visually easier to tell where you are and breaks up the tables with some nice colors

details

hi hello, honu wrapped is a feature i've been working on for quite a while, and draws inspiration from the end of year reviews that many other services offer (spotify, twitch, etc.). i was hoping to have it ready closer to the start of the year, but it took a bit longer to prepare the data than i expected (clustering exp table took 2 days)
PS4 is not supported, nor are there any plans to. I don't save events from the PS4 servers, so sadly i cannot offer any interesting data for PS4 players
the links are sharable, feel free to send a wrapped to someone else for them to look at!
honu wrapped lets you input multiple characters in one wrapped, so you can get all your character's stats in one page (up to 16, do not put a whole outfit in here, it won't work correctly)
there are many different things honu wrapped can do:

• view the character you've killed the most
• view the outfits you've fought the most
• view who you healed/revived/resupplies/max repaired the most
• view who you TKed the most
• view who TKed you the most
• per vehicle kills, deaths, killed as, deaths from
• per session stats (want to know your highest spm session?)

couple of limitations honu wrapped has:

• if you input characters that have overlapping sessions, this will cause per-session stats to break
• cannot view who supported your characters (who revived you the most)
• cannot filter out characters once a wrapped is made. if you want to see stats of one character in a wrapped, you'll need to make a new one

fin

if you have any feedback, questions, ideas for new stats let me know. i will see what i can do.
list of things i know i already will not be doing:

• outfit wrapped. some outfits are just too big. sorry. this would not pass the SKL test (loading your outfit data with all members of an outfit and hoping it works)
• supported by section. i would need to make a duplicate exp table sorted by other_id, something which would take like another 2 days

things i might do:

• 2022 wrapped. while i have the data, i didn't collect all the exp events from until mid 2022. this means per-session stats are wrong. i believe there were also long standing issues with SolTech data just not being sent :(

hope you find this project as cool as i do :)

technical dets

if you don't really care how this data works, you are done reading! thanks for reading this far :D

data setup

it might be interesting to people how this data is populated
the big problem with loading the events of a single character over an entire year is how spread out the data is. I store all events on a spinning hard disk in the order that events are received. events that occur within a few seconds of each other are located very close on disk. if you want to load all events for a single character, it is really spread out, causing lots of random seeks
to work around this, i exported each type of event i cared about (kill, death, exp, vehicle kill, vehicle death, item added, achievement added) to a different database, and sorted (clustered) the table by character, instead of by timestamp. this is what took the longest in preparing this data, and why it wasn't available immediately after 2023 end
here's the steps i had to take for each type of event, along with the DB command ran for exp events

1. export the data from the events DB: \copy (select * from wt_exp WHERE timestamp BETWEEN '2023-01-01' AND '2024-01-01') TO '/mnt/vdb1/db/wrapped_2023_exp.csv' WITH header csv;
2. import the data into the wrapped DB in a new table: COPY wt_exp_2023 FROM '/mnt/vdb1/db/wrapped_2023_exp.csv' WITH header csv;
3. create an index for the new table on the character ID i care about: CREATE INDEX idx_wt_exp_2023_source_character_id ON wt_exp_2023 (source_character_id);
4. sort the new table based on the index created: CLUSTER wt_exp_2023 USING idx_wt_exp_2023_source_character_id;

now, instead of doing a lot of random seeks on disk, the DB can seek once to the correct place on disk, and sequentially read all events from the character. this took generating a single single wrapped down from around 15 minutes to <1 sec
for exp, this process took about 2 days, and by far was the longest wait. the rest of the events were all imported within a day. i didn't want to make a table sorted by other_id of exp events because it took 2 days just exporting, importing, indexing and clustering when making one sorted by source_character_id. the exp table itself is also 0.5TB. takes up a lotta space
once the data is loaded for a single character, it is saved to disk. no point in asking the DB for the same data again, as 2023 is over and new events can't be inserted. each character is stored to a different file, so loading a wrapped that happens to include that character in the future (such as a wrapped with a different set of characters), can just be loaded from file instead of asking the DB for all the data
the data sent to the client is just every single event. i don't compute stats and send those. doing this allows me to iterate on the design quicker, and reduce server load by quite a bit by just making the clients do the processing instead :) the 6 character wrapped I linked above send around 50MB of event data. larger wrappeds have sent 230MB of event data, so this is pretty hefty

The group continues their adventures in the desert city of Al Walab.
The Cast:
Cheer the Boisterous, Tabaxi Monk: Cheer is a small Tabaxi with white fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. She is always seen in the company of her brother, Charles, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Charles the Butcher, Tabaxi Rogue: Charles is a small Tabaxi with smoky black fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. He is always accompanied by his sister, Cheer, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Calina St. Clair, Fire Genasi Wizard: Calina is the third child of the St. Clair merchants, an influential family of wealthy nobles in Al Walab. With her inheritance looking less and less likely with each passing year, she expanded her interests into arcane magic and cartography, hoping to find her own fortune in the world.
Nox, Human Paladin: Nox is a worshiper of Rehema, the goddess of love. After being captured and tortured by a devil in the southern desert, Nox managed to escape the fiend, but not without the ordeal taking a toll upon him. His desires had taken a more extreme and self-flagellating turn, and it was the disdain of his fellow worshipers that resulted in his banishment from their temple (and him being absent with they were killed).
Worrik the Outcast, Hobgoblin Barbarian: Worrik was once a mercenary with the Hobgoblins that do business around Al Walab, but he left their service after a disagreement and now works as an independent mercenary.
Previous Session
Story: Having discovered where the now-dismantled Thieves Guild was keeping their loot, the group set out to break into the vault and find the treasure. They were able to find the hidden trap door in the back of the Shaharat Teahouse and enter the vault using the combination they learned from the corpse of the dead guildmaster, Plon.
Once inside the vault, they were faced with a long corridor, at the end of which was a door with three handles. To either side of the corridor's entrance were two recessions containing pull-levers, and a quick inspection of the recessions revealed that there were hidden blades inside, no doubt designed to sever one's hand. An initial exploration of the hallway revealed hidden nozzles that would dispense toxic, immobilizing gas and narrow recessions that held scything blades, all along its length.
Using Calina's mage hand spell and some rope, the group safely pulled the levers, allowing Charles to make his way down the trapped hallway to the door. Unfortunately, he pulled the wrong lever on the door, which triggered the knives on the recessions to snap shut, severing the rope holding one pull-lever. The lever had been disarming the poisonous gas traps in the hallway, and Charles was sprayed with a toxic mist that made him pass out.
Cheer climbed fully into the recession to hold the pull-lever as Worrik retrieved Charles. After some examination, they determined that one of the levers was less rusty than the others, and pulling it locked the pull-levers in place and opened the door.
The next room held a door on each of the three other walls, as well as statues of Plon mounted on pedestals in the corners. The ceiling held more small gas-nozzles, and there was a mess grate in the center of the ceiling. Cheer investigated the grate and noticed small, clockwork snakes nestled on the other side, and wisely chose to spike the grate shut with four climbing pitons.
The group then set about experimenting with the statues, which could rotate to one side or the other. Unfortunately, many of the combinations simply toggled the status of the traps in the hallway or retracted the grate in the ceiling to release the clockwork cobras... which the group was fortunately spared from fighting thanks to the grate being wedged into place.
Eventually, they got the eastern door open and found themselves staring down a dark set of wide steps. Large guillotine blades hung from the ceiling above each step, and the group quickly learned that attempting to open the door on the far side of the steps caused the blades to come down with great speed. After the group set the trap off multiple times trying to figure out what was going on (resulting in a great deal of blood loss), they eventually realized that one of the blades wasn't dropping. Calina stood on the step beneath that blade and was able to safely open the door using her mage hand spell.
The final room seemed like the treasure vault, for the walls were lined with treasure chests. Calina sensed that a raised bas-relief on the far wall was magical and dispelled the ward, saving the group from unknown but assumed peril. The treasure chests, which were scorched, held nothing more than rocks and scrolls depicting drawings of Plon making a rude gesture.
Fortunately, one of the chests - and the wall behind it - was illusionary, and this led the group to the true vault. They were surprised to find that it was guarded by a small Tabaxi armed with a glaive, and even more surprised when the Tabaxi turned out to be a shape-shifted oni. Fortunately, its devastating spells were countered by Calina, which left it easy pickings for the rest of the group, who quickly cut it down.
With the vault cleared of its threats, the group helped themselves to the piles of gold, gems, and art objects within, as well as a few magical items, such as the dragon-slaying sword that the Guild had stolen from their fallen companion, Honu. All in all, it was a much-needed moment of victory for the group, which had finally recovered the money they lost fighting against the Thieves Guild a day prior.
Next Session

The group continues their adventures in the desert city of Al Walab.
The Cast:
Cheer the Boisterous, Tabaxi Monk: Cheer is a small Tabaxi with white fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. She is always seen in the company of her brother, Charles, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Charles the Butcher, Tabaxi Rogue: Charles is a small Tabaxi with smoky black fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. He is always accompanied by his sister, Cheer, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Calina St. Clair, Fire Genasi Wizard: Calina is the third child of the St. Clair merchants, an influential family of wealthy nobles in Al Walab. With her inheritance looking less and less likely with each passing year, she expanded her interests into arcane magic and cartography, hoping to find her own fortune in the world.
Honu Chorba, Tortle Ranger: Honu is a seasoned desert traveler who has spent much of his long life among the dunes. He joined the group to assist them in their journeys out of the belief that they would all get lost and die without him.
Previous Session
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Story: Rested up from a night's sleep, the group decided to pay a visit to Devdan, the old man who wanted to hire them to investigate the Halls of Abdalla, some ruins in the distant western desert. There was some suspicion that the old man might be their rival, Saleel Arif, in disguise, so they were cautious.
As they approached the fountain where the meeting was to take place, the group heard the crowd shout in panic and move away from the fountain, where Saleel was holding Devdan aloft via some sort of magical spell. They charged toward him through the fleeing crowd, and Charles caught sight of a beggar who seemed to be making strange gestures with his hands.
He claimed that "the Halls of Abdalla are mine alone! Do not meddle in my affairs!" and then killed Devdan, forcing the old man to crumble away into dust. Charles raced toward the strange beggar, but turned his attention back to Saleel when the beggar fled alongside the rest of the crowd and fired a crossbow bolt at the young wizard, which passed harmlessly through his body.
Calina, meanwhile, leveled her wand at Saleel and released a charged lightning bolt into him, catching an old gray cat that had been standing on the fountain in its blast. To her surprise, the lightning bolt passed harmlessly through Saleel and vaporized the cat, leaving behind only a scorched collar. Saleel laughed mockingly and seemingly teleported away, leaving the group alone at the fountain.
They investigated the area and discovered that there had been a slip of paper tucked beneath the cat's collar, but it had been destroyed by the lightning bolt. All in all, there was a surprisingly lack of evidence at the fountain: there were no remains of the cat (other than the collar), nor of Devdan, and they could find no footprints for anyone other than the cat, which were only on the fountain itself and not on the surrounding area.
Feeling like Saleel had escaped from them once again, the group begrudgingly decided to turn their attention to the issue of the Thieves' Guild. Fatima had told them that they could only take out Zeera if they also killed the leaders of the Thieves' Guild, as she didn't want them organizing against her during her takeover of the city. To that end, Charles drew upon his criminal contacts and learned that the leader of the Guild, Plon, was at the Shaharat Teahouse.
The group devised a plan to attack him and his cohorts, which involved Calina waiting outside a fair distance from the teahouse. Honu, Charles, and Cheer went inside to collect their reward for killing Zeera, which Plon happily provided: baklava for Cheer and Charles, and a modest amount of gold.
The thieves didn't fall for the group's clumsy attempts to lure them into a "just for fun" fight out in the street, so they instead simply jumped them. The fight very quickly turned against them, as Plon's personal assassins, the Tabaxi twins Bleak and Taste, dealt a swift blow to Cheer that put the group on the backfoot. Lukman, Plon's human sorcerer, drew upon his magic to increase Bleak's speed, and Plon himself was a powerful fighter who could create transparent echoes of himself on the battlefield.
By the time Calina realized there was a fight and made it into the teahouse to throw a fireball into the center, things were already dire. Honu, dropped by the fireball, was revived by Cheer and was able to kill Bleak, but that only led to him drawing the hatred of Taste. The small Tabaxi killed him and took extra time slitting his throat as Charles fled with his unconscious sister, pouring a potion down her throat to ensure that she would revive if she was killed. Trapped and alone, Calina was captured by the thieves.
Charles got his sister to a safe place, and after resting and recovering, they went to warn Calina's brother about her capture. The guards at the estate took their report but refused them entry. Instead, Cheer went back to find Honu's body, which had been dumped behind the teahouse. She scared away a pack of opportunistic and hungry Tabaxi, but Honu was too large for her to drag him away. She hugged him close and mourned his loss, then eventually left to find her brother.
Charles, meanwhile, tailed the thieves to the meeting place, where they turned Calina over to brother in exchange for a 2,000 gold ransom. Calina was eager to attack the thieves and get revenge, but her brother warned her that attacking people who ransomed family members would only ensure that their family members would be killed instead of ransomed in the future. She begrudgingly kept her violence in check and returned to her estate, where her brother insisted she remained in order to help balance the books after her ransom. Sadly, the Thieves' Guild had taken all of her things, including her beloved lightning wand.
Next Session

The Cast:
Rivaan Kimbatuul, Emerald Dragonborn Rogue: Rivaan is a member of the Jeweler Guild in Al Walab. He joined the Guild in order to make enough money to marry his love, but he's only recently attained the rank of master, and each day that passes brings his love one day closer to marrying another.
Cheer the Boisterous, Tabaxi Monk: Cheer is a small Tabaxi with white fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. She is always seen in the company of her brother, Charles, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Charles the Butcher, Tabaxi Rogue: Charles is a small Tabaxi with smoky black fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. He is always accompanied by his sister, Cheer, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Calina St. Clair, Fire Genasi Wizard: Calina is the third child of the St. Clair merchants, an influential family of wealthy nobles in Al Walab. With her inheritance looking less and less likely with each passing year, she expanded her interests into arcane magic and cartography, hoping to find her own fortune in the world.
Honu Chorba, Tortle Ranger: Honu is a seasoned desert traveler who has spent much of his long life among the dunes. He joined the group to assist them in their journeys out of the belief that they would all get lost and die without him.
Reed Ha'saan, Human (Rashed) Artificer: Reed is a Rashed, nomads who wander the desert wastes. He's a tinker and a jeweler who is loosely affiliated with the Jeweler Guild of Al Walab, serving as a member in the (much looser and less prestigious) offshoot of the Guild among the Rashed. He's accompanied by a mechanical crab machine that he built.
Xerxes (or Serxxe orr Xesxer or...), Giant Blue Frog Monster (NPC): Xerxes is a giant blue frog monster that the group "rescued" from a summoning circle within an ancient tomb. Honu has claimed a crown that allows him to control it... mostly.
Previous Session
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Story
While regrouping with the Rashed they had rescued from the mole people, the group was surprised to see a familiar person arrive at the camp: Reed Ha'saan! The artificer had been tasked by his guild to investigate the camp to discover why it had stopped sending updates back to the city. The group explained that the camp had been attacked by mole people, and they reluctantly agreed to head back to Al Salam in order to escort the rescued Rashed to safety.
While camping the next night, the group once again found themselves glowing with a blue light, despite Honu taking Xerxes far away from camp to rest up. Cheer drew upon her inner ki to heal the Azure Gleam from everyone as the group debated what they were going to do; with so many people in the group, the infection was starting to become more than she could keep under control.
As they debated their options, the group told Reed that they were seeking a body that had been taken away by Malik Jameel a few hundred years ago. Reed revealed that he - and, indeed, most Rashed - knew of Malik, and that he was last seen taking the spirit of an "evil djinn" up the slopes of the Mountain of the Dead, where all Rashed brought their dead. The group - who had suspected that Fatima's corpse might be on the mountain when they first learned of it - swore in frustration and tried to decide what to do: the mountain was a week to the northwest, but they were heading south with the rescued Rashed.
Eventually, Rivaan agreed to accompany the Rashed back to Al Walab to protect them and carry word back of the destruction of the Rashed camp. Reed, meanwhile, would accompany the group to the Mountain of the Dead to help them locate the mysterious corpse for which they were searching.
Two days later, while the group was traveling through a wide, shallow ravine, the ground began to tremble. Charles, sensing danger before anyone else, warned the group, and they looked around, trying in vain to find what was causing the increasingly loud rumbling sounds. Their questions were soon answered as a huge sandworm burst out from the ground.
Honu commanded Xerxes to fight the humongous beast, and the violent frog-monster leapt into battle as the group fled in the other direction. Reed left his homunculus behind to keep an eye on the fight as they ran through the ravine toward its end. The sandworm proved to be stronger than Xerxes, and Reed's homunculus reported its defeat as the crown that was linked to it - which was on Honu's head - shattered with the beast's death. Fortunately, either due to its distance from the party or the wounds inflicted upon it, the sandworm did not pursue the group any further.
The next day brought the group to the foothills of the lone mountain, though it was quickly obscured by a sandstorm that picked up and lasted for a good portion of the day. Cheer shouted praises to Faruq into the blowing sands, which alarmed Reed. He revealed that the Rashed considered the followers of Faruq to be incredibly dangerous and insane, and that they were typically killed on sight by his people.
The next day, the group made it to the Mountain of the Dead. Large, stone arches lined the path leading up to the mountain, and cloth-wrapped corpses, some half-buried in sand, were propped up against these arches and along the path itself. Wanting to know just what they were getting into, Honu communed with the land and revealed that their were not only undead present (as they had expected) but also dragons!
The group cautiously progressed along the path, giving a wide berth to the few wrapped corpses that seemed to twitch and shiver from time to time. Upon reaching a split in the path, the Calina flipped a coin, and the group headed to the right.
The path dog-legged past a tall stone spire, around which were heaped dozens of twitching corpses. Upon growing closer to the corpses, they burst open, revealing hundreds of rats that swarmed toward the group in ravenous hunger. During the battle, the stone spire opened its single, yellow eye and wide mouth, revealing it to be a terrible monster! Its tendrils lashed out, wrapped around Charles, and yanked him into its mouth, which bit down hard on the small Tabaxi.
Charles managed to escape the rock-monster, and Cheer rushed toward it to smack it with her magical dog-staff, but the tendrils snapped up both her and Charles, drawing them into range for more devastating bites. Most of the rest of the group was preoccupied with the hordes of biting rats, but Calina was able to throw a shrinking spell at the monster, reducing it to her own height. With the monster's size advantage disabled, Honu rushed forward through the rat swarms, swinging his dragon-slaying sword at the monster as Charles stabbed it over and over again in its eye. The monster soon fell, and the group turned their full attention toward dispersing the rat swarms.
Continuing up the mountain path, the group passed more cloth-wrapped corpses, until they eventually came to a cavern, the mouth of which was shaped like an open maw. After confirming that the cavern was not, in fact, the mouth of a giant dragon, the group pressed forward to find two stone crypts. Calina cast a spell to detect magic, but as Charles stepped forward, the lid of one crypt was pushed aside as a withered corpse climbed out of it. From the other floated a spectral woman whose visage was a twisted mask of rage and anger.
The group leapt into the battle but discovered, to their horror, that their attacks failed to damage either of the undead. Calina moved forward and noticed that tendrils of necromantic energy connected the two undead to the stone crypts, and told the group, who immediately set about trying to destroy them. Calina hit the man's crypt with a lighting bolt, shattering the stone, and Reed sprayed a highly caustic acid at it, covering its contents.
The ghost woman floated forward and released a terrible, keening wail which immediately dropped Calina and Charles to the group, placing them mere moments from death. Fortunately, Cheer was able to restore both of them with her ki, snatching them away from the brink of death. Charles and Cheer then rushed toward the woman's crypt to move the lid aside as Honu charged toward the man's crypt to keep him stuck in melee.
Inside the woman's crypt, the two Tabaxi discovered that the corpse inside was a woman's body with a man's head. Deducing the problem, Honu and Charles were able to quickly swap the heads, which put both undead to rest (though Charles was burned by Reed's acid, which still coated the woman's partially-dissolved head).
With the situation dealt with, the group took a short rest before prying up the stone door between the two crypts. On the other side was a short landing, which led to a frayed, decaying rope bridge which spanned a 150-foot chasm and led to the mountain's spire. Across the way, they could see a second bridge, which presumably led down to the left-hand path they had avoided earlier.
Honu was very certain that the bridge woundn't be able to support his considerable weight, but Reed had the situation under control: by using his mending spell, he was able to restore the ropes back to full functionality, and the group progressed slowly across the bridge as he restored head of the wooden bridge-planks to new.
The path on the other side of the bridge led into a cavern at the mountain's peak. Upon peaking inside, the group saw a very large, purple-scaled dragon resting atop a heaping pile of half-devoured corpses. Reed, Cheer, and Honu recognized it as a deep dragon and explained in hushed tones that they were corpse-eaters with poisonous breath. While debating how to proceed, Reed attached a glowing device to a rock and tossed it into the cave, awakening the dragon. The party hid beneath corpses as the annoyed dragon stomped toward Reed and demanded to know why he was there. When Reed didn't give him a good answer, the dragon told him to leave and stomped back to its corpses. The group quickly withdrew across the bridge to discuss what to do.
They eventually decided that their best shot was to bribe the dragon with some coins, gems, and the remains of Honu's shattered magical crown. First, though, they wanted to rest, since they were pretty spent from their previous battles and didn't want to fight a dragon on anything but their full strength. Reed's mechanical crab was set to guard them in case the dragon attacked them, and the group pulled the stone door leading back to the crypt room shut and settled in to rest.
The group did end up getting attacked, but the attack came from an unexpected source. A ghost accompanied by three will-o-wisps floated through the solid stone door and possessed Calina. The group fell into fighting positions but were shocked as the ghost-possessed Calina simply ran to the edge of the cliff and threw herself onto the sharp rocks some ninety feet below. The will-o-wisps immediately started bee-lining toward the dying genasi as Charles rushed toward the edge and started climbing down to her.
Cheer, for her part, simply leapt from the edge, using her claws to slide partially down the rock wall before leaping onto Calina and healing her. As Calina regained consciousness, Cheer turned her attention toward the ghost and beat it into oblivion with her dog-staff and ki-infused claws. The will-o-wisps faded from sight, and the group set about lowering ropes down to Calina to help get her back up to their landing.
The group once again settled in to rest, this time with Cheer on guard alongside the mechanical crab. There was lots of scratching on the other side of the stone door at various points throughout the afternoon, but unfortunately, another ghost eventually floated through the stone door and possessed Honu. They were fortunately able to beat him unconscious and expel the ghost before it could make Honu leap from the cliff like Calina had, and after dealing with it, the group decided that sleeping on the mountain simply wasn't a viable option. With the sun setting overhead, they retreated back down the mountain, hacking their way through a horde of animated, shroud-covered zombies before finally reaching the relative safety of the desert.
After resting up, the group headed back up the mountain in the morning, encountering far less resistance this time. They were able to reach the dragon's cave, and it was decided that Charles would climb along the top of the cavern so that he could pounce upon the dragon if the negotiations turned bad. Unfortunately, the small pebbles dislodged by his claws were enough to wake the dragon, who immediately took stock of the situation and launched into combat.
What followed was an incredibly brutal combat. Honu rushed forward and started slashing at the dragon with his dragon-slaying greatsword, which cut through the creature's thick scales like butter. In response, the dragon battered him with its tail and animated the corpses around it into skeletons, which surged forward to tie Reed and Calina up in melee. It then unleashed a torrent of poisonous bile upon Honu and Reed, who managed to resist the worst of the poison but were still nearly killed by the sheer volume of toxins blasted at them.
Calina blinded the dragon, but its senses were so fine-tuned that it wasn't hampered by the loss of its sight, as Cheer discovered when she rushed the dragon from behind and was knocked from her feet with a bone-shattering tail smack. Undaunted, she leapt back upright and struck the dragon with her dog-staff, channeling her ki into a stunning blow that left the dragon staggered from the unexpected assault.
In that opening, Charles and Honu surged forward, cutting the dragon deeply before Calina was able to finish it off with a well-placed lightning bolt, causing the dragon's heart to explode. In the aftermath, the group cheered and caught their breath. Some trophies were taken from the dragon, including scales and a couple fangs and claws.
Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be any sign of the dragon's horde, and Charles was disinclined to start ripping open bodies due to the curse that fell upon him the last time he engaged in rampant corpse-looting. During the search, the group discovered a small crawlspace in the back of the cavern that had been obscured by a few corpses. On the other side was a small landing and some hand-holds that had been carved into the rock. Cheer climbed up to the very peak of the mountain, where a withered female corpse had been impaled upon the stone there.
She climbed back down and told the group what she had found, and they reasoned that the corpse was likely Fatima's. Using some ropes, Cheer was eventually able to pull the corpse from the mountain's peak, but she lost her footing and began to fall. Calina slowed her descent with a well-timed feather fall spell, however, and they pulled Cheer and the corpse to safety.
The group made their way back down the mountain, encountering yet another horde of shuffling, shroud-covered zombies. This time, however, there was another ghost among them, and it once again possessed Calina. This time, she began ripping pages from her spellbook before the ghost was literally beaten out of her and then beaten into oblivion by Cheer. After the battle, Reed helpfully used his magic to reattach the pages back to Calina's spellbook.
Once they were away from the mountain, the group set up camp. Reed was able to jigger together a make-shift bag of holding, and the group shoved the recovered corpse into it to keep it safe during their journey back to Al Walab.
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(Everyone leveled up to level 7 at this point.)
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Next Session

The group investigates an ancient ruin found buried beneath the desert.
​
The Cast:
Rivaan Kimbatuul, Emerald Dragonborn Rogue: Rivaan is a member of the Jeweler Guild in Al Walab. He joined the Guild in order to make enough money to marry his love, but he's only recently attained the rank of master, and each day that passes brings his love one day closer to marrying another.
Cheer the Boisterous, Tabaxi Monk: Cheer is a small Tabaxi with white fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. She is always seen in the company of her brother, Charles, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Charles the Butcher, Tabaxi Rogue: Charles is a small Tabaxi with smoky black fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. He is always accompanied by his sister, Cheer, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Calina St. Clair, Fire Genasi Wizard: Calina is the third child of the St. Clair merchants, an influential family of wealthy nobles in Al Walab. With her inheritance looking less and less likely with each passing year, she expanded her interests into arcane magic and cartography, hoping to find her own fortune in the world.
Honu Chorba, Tortle Ranger: Honu is a seasoned desert traveler who has spent much of his long life among the dunes. He joined the group to assist them in their journeys out of the belief that they would all get lost and die without him.
Mashal al-Sinai, Fire Genasi Cleric (NPC): Mashal is a priest of Faruq, the god of sandstorms. The group met him in the desert, and Charles invited him to join the group, a decision which he quickly came to regret. There is a lot of concern surrounding him, but hospitality has kept him traveling alongside them despite everyone wishing otherwise.
Previous Session
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Story: Having fallen into an underground ruin, the group took stock of their situation. Rivaan remained on the surface to ensure that the others didn't get sealed into the ruins as the rest of them descended to look around. Threefo, Honu's pet giant toad, was lowered down at the end of a rope.
The walls of the room they had discovered were covered in a mural that depicted tall, lithe people with almond-shaped eyes and narrow, pointed ears, all of whom were gathered around a figure with antlers and a cloak of weird leaves. Flowing script wound its way through the mural, but none of the group could identify what is said.
To the east, a door was encased in green, glowing light that seemed to hold it shut. Mashal offered to attempt to dispel the magic, but the ward proved to be too strong for him, and it remained in place. Calina took the opportunity to surround herself in magical armor before things got too dangerous.
The western door was unwarded, so the group headed that way to find a long, wide hallway that was lined with dozens upon dozens of sarcophagi. Each one was carved to represent a different person, all of them resembling the same race from the mural in the previous room. This room, too, had a mural, and it depicted servants bowing down before a man wearing a silver crown as he stood victorious over a defeated, blue-skinned toad monster.
A few of the sarcophagi had fallen over, and Charles rushed forward to loot them for a handful of coins. The others followed carefully behind him, and soon they heard some strange sounds from where the hallway forked to the left. Charles snuck ahead to investigate and found a huge, hulking beetle-like monster cracking open sarcophagi to feed upon the withered flesh inside.
Charles crept back to the group, but the beetle-monster somehow sensed his presence and charged after him and into the group. The battle was fierce but short, with everyone descending upon the insect-brute as it vented its aggression onto Honu. Eventually, it fell, and the group took a few moments to catch their breath.
Moving forward through the ruins, they found the giant hole that the insect has presumably used to burrow into the tomb and breathed a sigh of relief at probably not having to fight another one of them. The next room was decorated like a forest, complete with withered plants hanging from the ceiling that crumbled to dust at the slightest touch. A shallow indentation for a pool dominated the center of the room, but whatever water had once been in it had long ago evaporated.
The group noticed some strange residue on the ground, and Calina investigated it but was unable to determine just what it might have been. There was an odd footprint that looked like it belonged for a frog, only much larger, which immediately set the group to thinking about the blue frog monster they had seen depicted in the mural.
Moving into the next room, following the residue trail, they encountered a diamond-shaped table that was stacked with all manner of long-withered food. The murals on the wall depicted a dining hall filled with reveling figures, and seated at the table were the mummified remains of three such revelers. Two of them held their empty hands upwards toward the ceiling, but the third had tumbled over to the ground. Two doors led to the east and northeast, and as Charles went to investigate the broken eastern door, he noticed that the chest cavity of the fallen figure had exploded outward. Stranger still, there were weird blue crystals inside the withered cavity of his chest.
The eastern door led into a huge room that was lined with more sarcophagi and filled with broken and knocked-over weapon racks. The mural on the wall depicted a huge army led by a figure in a silver crown that was adorned with a blue gem, and fighting beside him was the blue frog monster. The figures depicted on the outside of the sarcophagi were each armed with swords and bows. More alarmingly, there was a pulsating mass of rainbow-colored mucus stuck against the floor and wall near the left-hand side of the room, nest to a door that was sealed with another green ward.
The group spread out between the three rooms - the bath room, the banquet room, and the war room - as they searched for valuables, but the longer Charles remained in the war room, the faster the rainbow-mass pulsated. Just as he started to grow concerned, the pulsating mass burst open, revealing a red-skinned, bipedal frog monster with long, wicked claws jutting from its wrists.
The group leapt into battle with the aggressive frog monster, which ended up stabbing both Honu and Cheer with its bone-claws before being destroyed. It fell to the ground and grumbled away into weird, purple-colored salt, which Charles quickly scooped up and put into his backpack.
As the group returned to Threefo the toad, who had been left to guard the entrance to the bath room, they found that the toad had been killed by... something. Its flesh had essentially sloughed off its body, leaving a pile of gore-slick bones amidst a pool of liquified flesh and organs.
The group decided to investigate the glowing door in the war room, and Calina took some time to cast her detect magic spell as a ritual. Midway through, the ethereal form of a woman in a high-backed robe - with the same almond-shaped eyes and pointed ears as they had seen in the murals - floated through the walls and addressed them in a language that nobody could understand. She grew increasingly upset as the group attempted to communicate with her and eventually attacked the group, only to be quickly dropped by Cheer as she raced forward and beat the ghost with her magical dog staff.
At the same time, another creature - a winged eyeball thing - crept up from the unguarded banquet room and turned its flesh-rotting gaze upon Honu. The stalwart Tortle was able to resist its influence, and as Cheer beat the ghost into oblivion, Honu and rushed up to the eyeball to hold it off until Cheer was able to swoop over and dispatch it as well.
With things having quieted down, the group decided to explore the other hallway leading out of the banquet room. The mural inside was disturbing, as it displayed dozens of people writhing in agony as blue crystals burst forth from their flesh. There was some important-looking writing winding its way through the mural, but again, nobody could make out just what it said.
Continuing through the door at the end of the hallway, the group discovered a room that was dominated by a magical circle carved into the floor, which glowed with a green light similar to that warding the doors they had seen elsewhere. Trapped within the circle was a huge, eight-foot tall blue frog monster with large claws. To the far left side were a few pedestals that held small items.
The group were taken aback at the sight of the frog monster, which seemed to be imprisoned within the circle. They attempted to speak with it, but it replied telepathically, holding multiple conversations with each of them as it tried to get them to free it from the circle. While they didn't release it, they learned that an elf man had used a silver crown to control it long ago, and that it had been imprisoned by an elf woman. Backing away from the room, Honu cast a spell to find the location of the nearest crown and learned that there was one behind the warded door in the war room.
Mashal offered to try shattering the magical ward sealing the door one again... but for it to work, the group would all have to hold hands as he prayed, and specifically, Calina would have to hold his hand. She very much did not want to do this, but peer pressure eventually convinced her, and with their hands held as they chanted Faruq's name, Mashal was able to shatter the ward and allow them entrance to the room beyond.
The group found themselves in a throne room, of sorts. What had once been an entrance or a passage deeper into the ruins was filled with sand, cutting it off, but on the other side of the room was a dias containing a withered figure wearing a silver crown set with a blue gem. A sword rested across his knees, and two other withered, emaciated figures stood to either side of the wall behind him, swords clasp in their hands like honor guards.
Calina revealed that the king's crown and sword were both magical, so Charles crept forward to retrieve them... only for the withered king to open his eyes. As he stood, his bones creaking and trailing dust, the two figures to his sides stumbled forward, the longswords falling from their hands as they reached out toward the group.
The battle did not go well for the group. The two guards paralyzed Charles and Honu with their dread gazes and then battered them down as the withered king hacked at Cheer with his sword. Mashal did what he could to keep the group alive, but it was soon discovered that Cheer had been afflicted with a curse that prevented her wounds from healing. Calina fired multiple lightning bolts from her wand, and a revived Charles darted around, using healing potions to bring people back to consciousness, only for the king to backhand them into the stone walls.
Midway through the fight, Mashal offered to heal Calina only if she promised to be with him, and when she refused. He stepped back as the withered king backhanded her into the wall, knocking her unconscious and cursing her with the same debilitating curse that prevented Cheer from recovering from her wounds.
Both of the withered king's guards were eventually dropped, but things looked dire as the group was left scattered at his feet. With no more healing left to him, Mashal cast one last spell as the withered king advanced on him, leeching away the last of his health and saving the group from certain death. Honu took the king's crown, while Charles snatched up his longsword, and they evacuated the tomb to recover.
The group rested for the night, but instead of regaining consciousness, Cheer and Calina began to crumble away into sand. Mashal once again came to the rescue, drawing upon the magic gifted to him by Faruq to remove the curses afflicted them. Realizing that her life was only saved thanks to Mashal's presence, Cheer converted to the worship of his god, Faruq, the god of sandstorms. Still weakened, Calina and Cheer remained on the surface as Honu, Charles, and Mashal once again descended into the tomb.
They returned to the room with the binding circle, and Honu spoke with the frog monster, who claimed its name was Xerxes, Sexrex, Rexxes, Resexx, and others, completely confounding the Tortle. Eventually, they freed the toad monster and Charles snatched up the three items in the room, all of which had apparently been crafted from the toad monster and sealed away with it: an electric blue rose, two weird eye lenses, and a book bound in blue leather.
To show its appreciation (?), the toad monster also told them of a secret room, which they were able to open. The mural on the wall showed an elven woman in a high-backed dress using magic to pull a blue gem from the head of the toad monster, and the room contained a single tome that was filled with strange writing, which they grabbed.
Honu commanded the toad to wait for a moment as he went up to explain the situation to the others, and, obeying the letter of the law, the toad monster waited for a moment and then leapt up to the surface one moment later, while Honu was still explaining things to the very dubious Calina, Cheer, and Rivaan.
With the blue toad-monster accompanying them and presumably under Honu's complete control, the group set off to the Rashed camp to find someone who might be able to tell them what Malik Jameel did with Fatima's corpse centuries earlier.
​
(Everyone also leveled up, yay!)
​
Next Session

A few weeks after the buffs to ground-to-air (G2A) lock-ons went live, I made a post analyzing its effects on the airgame. To summarize:

• A2A nosegun performance dropped significantly, especially on VS
  
• A2G nosegun performance did not meaningfully change
  
• Lock-ons were killing more aircraft after the update
  

While this was a nice indication of short-term trends, a handful of posters mentioned that two weeks was barely long enough of a period to draw conclusions from. I’ve gathered data from November 1 through February 10th in order to provide a more accurate picture.

Methodology

Data was provided by Varunda, who owns the wt.honu.pw statistics site.
December 5's data was discarded due to severe API errors on that day.
For A2A noseguns (M18 Needler, M20 Mustang, and Saron Laser Cannon) I was given data on the total numbers of aircraft each killed and the number of unique users. This allowed me to calculate the aircraft killed by each unique user (AKPU), which gives us an idea of how efficient these weapons are at their given role.
For A2G noseguns (M14 Banshee, M30 Mustang AH, and Light PPA) I was provided data on their total infantry kills and the number of unique users. This allowed me to calculate their daily infantry kills per unique user (iKPU) as a metric of combat efficiency.
Unlike the previous post, I did not use daily kills per hour. This stat is tied to population, and the population decline over the past few months will produce skewed statistics..
I created line graphs for each of the six relevant statistics (kills, unique users, and KPU) and included trendline. I have also provided a seventh graph displaying daily logins and the trend downwards over time. This provides a comparison between the post-Outfit Wars population decline and any drops in weapon performance.
Vehicle and aircraft weapons typically have a small user pool and their daily statistics can be influenced by a handful of skilled crews. To account for this, I also averaged the pre-and post-patch performance of each weapon, which can be found in a table below.
Lockon usage was checked on Voidwell, and did not meaningfully change from the previous post. Here's the query if you want to look for yourself.

Data

Here is an imgur album of the graphs.
The table of averages is found in this google sheet.

Conclusions

Global daily logins have dropped from around 30k to 26k. This represents a drop of about 14%. This is the baseline with which we compare other changes over time.
A2G nosegun daily kills and users dropped the most for the Banshee, but it remains the most popular. Its KPU has remained almost unchanged, which indicates that nothing is actually interfering with its ability to kill players- there simply are fewer users now.
The Airhammer’s kills and users dropped by a smaller but noticeable margin, but this is more or less in line with the overall population decline.
The Light PPA’s daily kills and users dropped the least, which suggests there is a diehard player base using this weapon.
Kills per unique user supports the theory that the drops are mostly due to population reductions. The Banshee dropped the most, but a decline of just 7% between the pre- and post-buff lock-on eras suggests that such a drop is caused by having fewer things to shoot at. It is still far less significant than the performance downturn experienced by the Saron Laser Cannon.
A2A nosegun performance followed the same trend for TR and NC, with the decline for users and daily kills dropping as expected in relation to global population.
The Scythe’s A2A daily kills dropped by a much larger margin, but its user count remained consistent. This led to a 22% drop in aircraft killed per unique user since patch day. The graphs show a very sudden performance drop on November 17, and the Saron Laser Cannon consistently underperforms after that date.
A performance drop this large and abrupt is an anomaly. Normally this trend shows up when a weapon is heavily nerfed, but this is obviously not the case. Clearly there’s an outside factor influencing this weapon’s performance, and the timing of the drop implies G2A locks are the cause. This would validate the pilots’ claims that G2A buffs are doing nothing to stop A2G and are instead making interceptions and the air game as a whole less enjoyable.

Suggestions to improve this situation

By now it is quite obvious that lock-on buffs (and the Burster MAX buffs) are not the answer to the problem posed by A2G noseguns. These buffs have only made the airgame less enjoyable for everyone wishing to fly, even if they're only looking to kill other aircraft. The ground vehicle game has also become much more unpleasant now thanks to lock-on proliferation. There needs to be a tradeoff between ease of use and combat power, and the current G2A (and to a lesser extent, G2G) lock-ons completely ignore this concept. Their power also disproportionately bullies new characters who may not have vehicle stealth or the nanite gain to afford losing ESFs to lock spam.
At this point, I believe the simplest approach would be to normalize the Airhammer and Banshee with the Light PPA’s damage output and partially revert the lock-on buffs (as seen in this earlier proposal). This suggestion brings G2A locks more in line with their performances on September 25, 2017, but without lock time scaling with distance. That's a mechanic which requires refinement before returning thanks to hidden jankiness.
While it's okay for AI weapons to be powerful, the Airhammer and Banshee aren't worth the current poor state of the air and vehicle game. I do not understand the reluctance to touch these two weapons, especially after the Kobalt got hit with fairly heavy nerfs. Every single other vehicle anti-infantry weapon in the game has been heavily nerfed at least once in the past five years. It’s time to stop trying band-aid fixes and go after the root of the problem.

Cross-posted / $5 shipping (PayPal G&S).
⭐Perfumes have been stored in wooden boxes away from heat and sunlight and/or in a temperature-controlled storage unit. Everything is always used or tested with clean hands unless marked as BNNU.⭐
✨Please do not claim something unless you are going to buy it. No holds or haggling. Thank you.✨
ARCANA WILDCRAFT & CRAVES
Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons / An opening of cold, crisp green apples and young clover leads to a heart of jammy fir balsam absolute, vanilla ice cream, jasmine sambac, palm fronds, and spruce musk. / Full into neck, $15
Kincardine Maiden / A harvest blend for traditional corn dollies and the spirits that live among the grain: hard apple cider, genuine hay absolute, chamomile essential oil, infused honey, and the smallest dash of white musk. / Full into neck, $24
Pumpkins Crave Trees (discontinued, Wildcraft release) / Gently spiced pumpkin cookies with our Trees accord (jammy fir absolute, sugared pine, earthy black spruce, Canadian fir needle, a touch of Atlas cedarwood). / FS, $20
ASTRID PERFUME
Ballet Birb / Cotton candy, vanilla wafer cookies, and white bar soap. / FS, $24
Caramel Flan / Eggy vanilla custard with caramel liquid. / FS, $22
Lyrical / Golden pear, shortbread, agarwood, and cashmere musk. / Small dip at shoulder, $18
Mother Orchard / Comforting warm apple, cinnamon brioche, golden ginger, and Madagascar vanilla bean. / FS, $20
Vesta’s Orchard / Red Bartlett pears, peach, gingerbread, tangerine, smoked honey, white musk, pumpkin, and rosemary. / FS, $20
Trinkets & Feathers / Sugared sage, oud, jasmine, incense, apple, melon, juniper, and nutmeg. / FS, $20
BPAL
Blacklight-Reactive Poster 2021 / Before they shooed me out – very kindly – this was the scent that imprinted on me: nag champa, patchouli, and weed smoke. / Tiny dip at shoulder, $25
Buck Moon 2021 / Buck Moon is an animalistic, deep scent: an amplification of one’s natural musk coupled with forest herbs, pine pitch, smoky birch tar, cedar berries, dew-kissed juniper, amber moss, deer fur, a hint of clear, warm evening air and a crystalline spark of lunar oil. / A smidge above shoulder, $20
Cognac-Stained Sheet Ghost / Vanilla-infused balsam, white cognac, and tumbleweeds. / Full slightly above shoulder, $30
Cracked Mirrors / A blur of white sandalwood, orris, ambergris accord, and muguet passing behind shattered silver gilt. / Small dip at shoulder, $22
Dark Chocolate and Dried Red Fruits / Small dip at shoulder, $22
Disembodied Malevolent Laughter / A distorted, cacophonous, and mirthless chortle: a hollow rumble of dark resins that rises into a shrieking crescendo of icy wine grape, white musk, and white lemon. / Halfway between TOL and shoulder, $20
Harvest Moon 2021 / This year’s Harvest Moon is a swirl of late-autumn leaves surrounding the last stone fruits of summer. / Full into neck, $20
Pumpkin Dust 2021 / Shavings of white pumpkin rind and honey powder. / A smidge above TOL, $20
Sugar Cookie Cathedral / Smells like sneaking snacks into an old-school Roman Catholic mass. / Dip at shoulder, $24
Sugar Cookies and a Popcorn Garland / Probably one of my favorite scent combinations. / Full slightly into neck, $25
Sugar Cookies With Extra Sugar / This perfume is ridiculous. / Full to shoulder, $25
DEEP MIDNIGHT
Naughty Nutcracker / Rich Chocolate Fudge, Candied Walnuts, Rum, Grand Marnier Liqueur / FS, $20
NAVA
Amarna / Incense resin, White Amber, Dark Amber, Egyptian Patchouli and0Pecan. Crystal Absolute and Egyptian Dragon's Blood (Studio Limited: Bloodstone). / Full to shoulder, $22
Blueberry Crystal / Egyptian Summer Blueberry within the beauty of harmonized Vanilla and Musk (Studio Limited Original - Crystal). / Small meniscus dip at shoulder, $22
Sweetgrass Musk / Organic Nevada Sweetgrass, Bastet Amber, eNVie saphir and sensual skin musk made from soft white floral blend of Tuberose, Mallow, Angelica, Musk Flower, and White Lily all blended beautifully into Bastet's Musk base. *Nevada Sweetgrass has a natural Citrus note. / FS, $30
White Pear Crystalline / Egyptian White Pear Accord, African Mandarin Essence, a quiet drop of Vanilla of Crystalline and Vanilla of Moonstone. / Full to shoulder, $22
NUI COBALT
Canoodling in a Leaf Pile / A romantic bouquet for intimate encounters. Warm chai, vermilion musk, copal resin, the subtle hint of a campfire still clinging to soft sweaters tumbled among leaves of aspen and oak. Wear to enhance your powers of attraction, and to draw the best prospective suitors to you. / FS, $15
Corn Maze / The warm, golden scent of sweet corn, hay bales, toasted oats, homemade caramel, and a distant memory of woodsmoke. Wear to invoke the spirit of generosity, gratitude, and camaraderie. It lifts the mood and brings blessings to the family. / Full to slightly above TOS, $15
Honu / The folklore of the Green Sea Turtle describes her as a benevolent protector with a particular love of children. She is a guide for the lost and an omen of good fortune. Coastline sage, white rice, and sunlit tide pools where the seaweed sways beneath crystal clear water. Wear this light green aquatic scent when you feel astray and alone. Anoint light blue candles in rituals for clarity and peace of mind. / FS, $15
Pixie / The wing'ed Fae folk of Cornwall and Devon. An apple orchard in bloom, spring grasses alive with some unearthly glow, vanilla bean offertory cakes and sparkling honey mead. / Full to TOL, $12
Snow Day! / The scent of childlike wonder and happy surprises. Hot blueberry pancakes with melted butter and real Vermont maple syrup. Wear this scrumptious scent to honor the Inner Child and inspire spontaneity. / FS, $12
POSSETS
Clara’s Party from the Nutcracker / Black musk, Arabian frankincense, 3 golden ambers, very spicy gingerbread, and a goodly shot of black tea. What a party indeed. Smells delightful in a very grown up and spicy/resinous way. Quite seductive. / FS, $15
Divine Clockwork / A cool vanilla mint and warm bitter chocolate become more than just a marriage of great foodie combinations. / FS, $15
Portrait of Mrs. Abington / Buttery chocolate cake with white frosting and a filling of the best Bavarian cream. / FS, $15
I will swap for any of my BPAL (D)ISOs:
DISO Birthday Surprise
ISO Frosted Pumpkin Spice Cookie
ISO Cozy Pumpkin Sweater

The Toermectist recorded with perfect precision these events as the atoms for which were wedded for those few moments to invoke the image of a broken son of a god, slowly disintegrated their unified bonds as the scream of pain and the arching light dissipated, creating a haunting image for the officers. The radiance was then dispelled from the air, allowing the darkness of the toermeruc to once more be the dominant force and the reflection of the disturbing radiance trample about the golden webbed eyes of the Nighmereons. The communication channels howled the exclamations of the crew, noting the signs of male and female images screaming and prostrated in pain, which averted the officers and Toermectist from the sight as he then spoke with hidden terror
[“Alert Pojiqeshantintist to return to base power consumption and review the vessel for any damage inflicted. I must report to local command of what has been indentured in our survey. Speak not what occurred outside this vessel, do you comprehend officers?”]
The Pojiqeshantintist then interjected before the communications link was severed with surprise and interest enunciated the speech, rather than conveyed
[“Shields on the belly have been distorted with the outer hull having received damage, minor but if that ray collided with us by a few degrees, the whole vessel would have been compromised for the atoms have been disassembled on the outer hull. I recommend returning to Harux as the deterioration of the tereminite will prevent continued exploration and I have not the tool to contend with the damage.”]
Timid replies were enacted by all as many remained in utter disbelief of what was beholden. Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson held his tongue for the longest moment, recalled base knowledge of his nearly all-knowing race with the irregular reports of the Terion Junon; of how every single acknowledgement of such events being almost identical with equal horror and power of each attack.
[“This…”]
He muttered to himself in a slight trembling lip of inexperience as his eyes remained burnished on the exact spot where the screaming man was as his fellow officers returned to their stations in a similar articulation, expressing mystery and concern in equal parts
[“This is more than a Terion Junon, or some anomaly of astronomy or torrents of rogue energy that were expelled by a tomaval’s (Black Hole for compression) volatile gravity well. No, this something raw and beyond my understanding. For this it could be indicative of Devlieshela power.”]
(For clarification, a Devlieshela is a demon or something originating from Hell in the Nighmereon tongue) Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson then revolved his posture towards the exiting Toermectist, who remind erect in posture with a still indefectibly emission of his training, but the eyes betrayed his true motive as these words escaped the three rows of teeth
[“Sir, if this was not a Terion Junon we have encountered, but a discernible power of Devlieshela, I would need to ensure evidence to you that this beam may have had a different energy signature than first registered as to report to head command.”]
[“Granted, I will require such data for my report, the local command must suffer this potential threat with its possible trajectory. But Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson, this thing that we barely dodged was able to pierce our energy fields and hull without a second glance, and that may have been just the skin.”]
He then respected Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson position on the matter while he turned to meet his subordinate with eyes interlocking with strenuous gaze. All the officers than ceased their reclamation to their station
[“Imagine the pure force it may have obtained that it can scour a whole planet or disrupt the movement of void vessels or even the communications being annihilated from simple contact to friends to vessels unable to communicate with one another in its path.”]
Meanwhile, Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson hastily returned to his station and produced within moments the necessary information to be presented. The Toermectist forbiddingly stood at the entrance of the toermeruc, liken to a portrait of a man that held little as first glance yet with an obscured history within an apostate nation. Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson moved with great speed in the translation of the data as aspirations within the youth of the Nighmereons to search and know all for the wonder of discovery, the numbers and letters within the insinuation of the written Nighmereon tongue, professing an abnormality of energy and the force of the decay of atomic structures. And alike a Nighmereon who grows into proper maturity that slowly losses their curiosity and sense of purpose, Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson wished not to have learned such apathetic knowledge of the spontaneous visual.
[“Sir, this … is impossible. The energy is not energy but some sort of dismantling anomaly of reality, the concept of gravity is negated from the particles that impacted our shields. It deformed them while the hull received only a few scat elements, leaving a warping of the tereminite. The hull and armor is supposed to endure even the crushing and twisting power of a tomaval or bath in the marshaled energy of numerous star implosions at the same time, this may be actually be the power of a… Devlieshela !”]
The Toermectist then responded to the confirmation as his monitor lauded the information of his lesser officer’s delineation of the current reality, declared within the Toermectist ancient mind that shadows many human prodigies and so-called geniuses
[ “Improbable that it emulates nor imitation, Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson, Yet still within the realm of possibility that I must accept that it may be from Devliesiuer (Hell). I shall humor your observation in the display of my daily report for we now must return to and inform the highest ranking Supterkrizen of this ascertain for this is indicative of Devlieshela power.”]
The Toermectist moved in the disciplined grace of his military station as he motioned to complete the egress from the toermeruc. As he vacated the view of the toermeruc fully and the flurry of crew members ushering their own commands and actions to repair the hull damage, his equanimity became unlaced as he entered his private quarters, excising his stress into the funereal like room that held a small table ten feet from the entrance. The hue of the room was a simple gray with laying colors of autumn brown for the bedsheets of a simple sleeping arrangement was bolted on the left wall approximately twelve feet from the entrance. This corresponds with a simple closest being fourteen feet in height and six feet in length held an array of clothing. Two thin strips of lighting embedded into the ceiling were available in the quarters that were deactivated as no other discernible symbols or colors were laid naked to any not within the Toermectist most trusting allies.
The Toermectist slowly applied himself to the table, kneeling towards it as he reached for a secret compartment that was installed on the belly of his bed that held four small candles of human blood color and a small cylinder apparatus for lighting. He then laid the four candles in a row six inches into the area of the table and one inch apart. The private quotes lacked any advertisement for aroma and sound till the flaying of the twined string of the candles were lit, causing an innominate sight of refulgence that burned with a hue of blue and strands of dark orange. The smell remained unchanged for a human’s nostrils, but to a Nighmereon that practices in secret the banned faith the odor was of the fresh morrow with an ornament of weeds and flowers render to fibers in the candle itself. For the Toermectist, this was a serenity of smoke and smell as he deliberated with great patient prayer the information brought to his attention. The hidden twitches and muscles were now visible to a human as the Toermectist breathed ever plunged breathes as the stress of the situation convulsed upon his face, the eyes of the Eyeless King spread to all the children of the great father shuttered from the seething light
{“The conference of such power is too extreme to be of mere chance, first the strange uptick on the madness amongst the lesser races, then issues on the brief audience with the accursed second born in the windows of reality impeding the traffic of those vessels' propulsion. This encounter has now laid bare that the sprites are restless, and plans are in motion or have long been animated. Devliesiuer yearns to vomit forth it’s abominations to the Universe, yet there may be nothing we can do, if only the faith could have remained and not left to be hung alike a traitor lord during the conquest so long ago.”}
He sighed with a deep release of anxiety that was consumed by the candles and released as comfort and surmises. The smoke during the prayer danced, at first a soft almost comic melody till it rose with each breath of the Toermectist, liken to the bellows of a forge being fed the air to mend to metal to its proper foreseen purpose, as a solemn display of control. Yet the light stayed arrested in the bounds of the table’s dimensions, allowing the radiance to awash the Toermectist with his tunic seemingly apart from the flames but connected categorically, another mastery purchased by the Nighmereons is aesthetics and the purpose within each trinket to masterpieces of mega projects.
{“Perhaps this is the beginnings of the faith to be recognized once more from a dismissal to persecution or my veterans mind is agitated from these events, allowing it to persuaded by such fictitious hope.”}
He took another breath, for which did not perturb the flames as he invested more seconds in his meditation for which implied discovery and investigation of the more pressing matter
{“The Terion Junon or the Devlieshela originated energy had damned our shields and had appeared out of nowhere. According to the laws of reality, it has swathed them aside as it may have originated from some local, preventing tangential waves patterns to emerge. From the scans, it had the nature of having been funneled and propelled from its point of origin. But where, and equally pressing, when did this Terion Junon’s or Devlieshela expelled energy form? Or as assumable, how? We were fortunate that the senses were able to inform us before it was too late. Mmm…yes…a tantalizing hypothesis that could be a wondrous prospect. "}
The sound of the outside hull repairing itself was barely registered by the Toermectist, as the sound was the equivalent as it resonated thought the vessel as deep groans and smoothing of metal with stone, which is not an enjoyable moment to be sure though a necessary one. The Toermectist had muted all other material sounds as he continued the communication within himself of the furthest reaches of his mind, safe from the distracting distress of the surrounding ambience of the vessel that ached to as it finished the repairs that would have been devastating or out right destructive to any other vessel
{"When we return to Harux, I should tell Lady Honue-Shinermat as well the Supterkrizen of the Devlieshela, though I must tread carefully in the full examination and dissemination of such information. I should have the officers onboard to keep a private accounting, whilst I retain the calculations of the impact and the sensory reports for the security of this event not arousing suspicion and the investigation of the crew. Yes, it these were to happen, I would be eventually exposed and the web of plans and hidden proposals would be tarnished…perhaps forestalling to centuries from now."}
The ceased his current rumination with a sudden stillness in the closed eyes as the flames and smoke followed suite as the Toermectist had ceased his meditation, wishing to intact such actions. We will return to this Toermectist and more specifically Senior paretonin Rinkcaverson on their impact in the is epic as before this chapter ends, permit me to return to Washington D.C. with the supplemented and developed office of the BIA, toiling away at the thunderous quantity of panic and sheer unbridled confusion. The location is not fully known, though many have postulated that it was underneath the city, around New Jersey and North Carolina streets that was in proximity to the capital and the rest of the United States state of power.
The office was over a hundred feet beneath the surface with the local residences acting as both a type of disguise but also as the obstruction to any targeting by any enemy forces. The office was above the soon constructed 1946 subway line that led to the local city of Alexandria with it being a total of five thousand square feet in the shape of a sloped rectangle if seen from above. There were multiple concrete with steel rebar pillars that shaped the available space that uplifted the concrete and brick laid ceiling that eventually engendered towards the loose topsoil, plumbing, and foundation of the numerous buildings. A plethora of plywood based desks cheaply constructed with metal backed chairs were oriented through the office as a small room designated for filing was also being accessed. The head of the office, or rather the administrator for the actual leader was the smoking man who was amongst his subordinates. In the cold and dry illumination of dazzling yellowed light that percolated into the corners of the office, causing an air of imprudent heat as the electrical sockets were engorged with the wiring to primitive electrical fans and the flustering of hands over the frantic typewriting.
The voices of over ninety-seven men and nine of which were women elicited the multiple dialogues over the Humanatie and the loss of Paris that was listened by the smoking man, beads of sweat dripping down the brow of his fiery red hair that fell flat from the humidity whilst the lost dreams of youth filled his investigating green eyes. His skin was depraved of the proper nutruiton in youth and the summnation of decades of smoking advertiseted drained and goshlty hue.Concurintly, the smoking man wa
“No, no , no! Perhaps this product from just before the explosion is some demon, and we should act accordingly.”
One said with implicit tiredness as the heat seared against the soundness of his mind, attempting to bear fruit on the task at hand as his orange tie was loose, and his shirt was stained with sweat and coffee. One than refute his claim in at first a contemptuous
“Really, how? How could we defeat or contend with this potential demon without informing The Insiders of this thing! And what if the distinct probability that this creature is nothing more than an inert thing as written from the military radio relay?”
“It could have been a false reporting on what this thing is, though we are still endeavoring to collect the necessary information of the sergeant delegated the task of bringing the most definitely existing thing.”
Another spoke with the Smoking man taking another aphrodisiac draw of the cigar, reaffirming his appearance in the rather sweltering heat of the office to the rest of the subordinates, his eyes shielded by the eyelids as he then opened them again and said whilst exhaling the smoke across a desk littered with papers and photographs pertaining to the Humanatie, called The Insiders by the BIA
“It has been one week since the loss of Paris. Already there are loud and rambunctious riots in France with large messages by the rather unfriendly politicians that we should start peace talks with the Germans and focus our attention on the Japanese.
Nearly everyone within the office peered onto the glossy floor, slightly ashamed and horror-struck on the event, denigrating the already taxed air as the smoking man continued whilst a few
“We may have failed, to a few that is, yet now this tragedy adds legitimacy and the warranted credence of our little organization. On the national level, this would reshape how we view the war. Prepare a statement with today's report for the senator on the circumstances involving the loss of Paris, including the beleaguered translation of this grand manuscript by the Nazi Dossin Schmitt and that weird source from…”
The Smoking man, as taxed as everyone else suddenly had difficulty retrieving the name of an informant from his mind, the response being the slight pressure on his cigar that then expelled some burnt fragments on the glossed tiled floor
One of the subordinates, then tending to the limited files, then spoke in a hasteful manner after sifting through dozens of documents as to assist to the labored mind of the Smoking Man
“An Isabella LeCygne, married to a Jean G. LeCygne, though her location now may be in the local city of Reims to seek refuge.”
“Is Jean LeCygne one of us or at the lest affiliated with us?”
“Yes sir, his is a psychologist employed the by the US government to discern potential mental and emotional trauma cases. He was mostly recently paid by the Senator to ascertain information for any new agents or enemies of the state, using the cause of national security.”
The smoking man pondered for a brief second, deliberating on the information presented and acted accordingly as he saw fit
“Alright, have a message dispatched to her requesting her services in what she know
The subordinate that had given the name then continued to speak with the slight blundering in the partitive issues of pronunciation
“There is also, sir, an Army Sergeant by the name of Joshua Holmwood that had been captured in this inveigling web.”
“What about him?”
The smoking man said with few veins of interest of such a character as the primitive fans circulated the smoke about the office that provoked coughing to some of the subordinates
“He was charged by the commander of the capture of Paris, sir, to transport said…thing to US soil for study and assessment. The commander also pointed out that the sergeant has been injured in the acquiring of this thing, though the sergeant believes that he is responsible as the commander did not revile all the details of his operation. Though no one know at the time that this was for real, so mistakes have been made.”
“It sounds like we have a guilty conscience and an inflated sense of honor. Not a known mixture of traits engendered within a solider. Did he actually have a hand in the loss of Paris or does this sergeant have a self-inflicted sense of doubt? I could understand why, massive denotation could create a disastrous effect on ones mind and the loss of life being pernicious to ones view on the war.”
“Sergeant Holmwoon believes so, sir, with the commander initially threatening him court-martial in the affair as he claims that he had failed to prevent the completion of the ritual by Dossin Schmitt. Though sergeant Holmwood does testify in his report that he did greatly injure the SS officer Lazarus Weiss and mortally wound Dossin Schmitt after it was too late."

The Cast:
Rivaan Kimbatuul, Emerald Dragonborn Rogue: Rivaan is a member of the Jeweler Guild in Al Walab. He joined the Guild in order to make enough money to marry his love, but he's only recently attained the rank of master, and each day that passes brings his love one day closer to marrying another.
Cheer the Boisterous, Tabaxi Monk: Cheer is a small Tabaxi with white fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. She is always seen in the company of her brother, Charles, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Charles the Butcher, Tabaxi Rogue: Charles is a small Tabaxi with smoky black fur and mismatched blue and green eyes. He is always accompanied by his sister, Cheer, and together, the two of them haunt the alleys outside the Al Walab Jeweler Guild, keeping other thieves away from their "territory."
Calina St. Clair, Fire Genasi Wizard: Calina is the third child of the St. Clair merchants, an influential family of wealthy nobles in Al Walab. With her inheritance looking less and less likely with each passing year, she expanded her interests into arcane magic and cartography, hoping to find her own fortune in the world.
Honu Chorba, Tortle Ranger: Honu is a seasoned desert traveler who has spent much of his long life among the dunes. He joined the group to assist them in their journeys out of the belief that they would all get lost and die without him.
Previous Session
​
The Story: After resting up following their doomed adventure in the now-destroyed desert temple, the group met with Tasmeem Hashi, the merchant that had information about an abandoned dragon's lair. She claimed that her contacts had reported that the lair was located in an abandoned temple to Rehema, the Goddess of Love, somewhere in the desert to the north. Unfortunately, it was a scant lead, and she didn't have much more information than that.
The group restocked their supplies and prepared for what they assumed would be a good while away from civilization. Charles attempted to purchase some poison from a disreputable merchant, but his prices weren't very affordable. The merchant did manage to sell Charles a small silver skull, claiming that it sometimes whispered secrets to its owner in the night, which got the Tabaxi rogue quite excited. Unfortunately, Calina quickly confirmed that there wasn't anything magical about it, and that he had probably been scammed.
The group set out to the north, with Honu leading the way. On the first day of travel, they encountered a strange 'lid' in the dunes and moved closer to investigate. Unfortunately, the 'lid' proved to be the top of a giant trap door spider's lair, and after trying (and failing) to grab Honu, it snatched up Cheer and dragged her underground. Honu was able to force the trap door open long enough for Rivaan to pull her free. The spider was quickly dispatched, and Medicine kits were used to stabilize the poisoned, injured Tabaxi.
The next day, the group came upon a narrow ravine studded with dozens of tiny caves. The group chose to travel along the ridge, rather than risk travel through the ravine, but Charles grew overly curious and convinced the others to tie a rope around him and lower him down into one of the caverns. The rope ended before the cavern, and after wiggling his way back out, he decided that the caves had been explored enough.
Day three found the group wandering across some salt flats as the wind picked up and plunged the area into a sandstorm. The group huddled around Honu for hours until it abated and was forced to dip into their reserves for food and water, since the sandstorm prevented the Tortle from foraging.
The sandstorm also seemed to stir up some beetles, as when the group started traveling the next day, they were set upon by golden beetles that burrowed up from beneath the layers of crusty salt underfoot. Calina cast a spell that caused a huge boom of thunder, exploding dozens of beetles while also causing the salt flat to crumble underfoot. Honu and Charles both collapsed into a shallow underground "pocket" of air that presumably had been housing the beetles. Fortunately, they managed to dispatch the last of the hungry beetles and climb to safety, with Rivaan and Cheer hoisting them out of the pit.
On the fifth day of travel, the group began to encounter numerous spheres of black stone, ranging in size from about as large as a marble to as big as a house. The spheres only seemed to increase in number as they group continued past them, and while investigating one of them, everyone in the group save for Honu suddenly fell over, asleep. As he struggled to understand what had just happened, four thin, spindly creatures with batlike-wings and narrow, triangular faces appeared from behind the round rocks. The creatures seemed to be composed of nothing but dirt, but their claws were still quite sharp. He nudged Charles awake, only for the Tabaxi to be brutally attacked by the winged dust-creatures.
Everyone eventually was woken up as the winged creatures tore into flesh with their sharp claws, with one particularly vicious little guy going straight at Honu's eyes to injure him. Cheer kept bandaging her brother up to keep him from bleeding, but the spiteful creatures kept attacking him and ripping open his bandages. Worse yet, whenever one of the winged things was killed, it exploded into bursts of sand, threatening to blind everyone nearby. Eventually, the horrid little creatures were destroyed and the beleaguered party took a short rest before continuing onward.
After another hour of walking past stone spheres, the Tabaxi both caught sight of a large sphere that seemed to have been carved with a old man's scowling face. Honu accompanied Calina as she moved closer to the sphere and began to ritually cast a spell to determine whether the sphere was magical. Unfortunately, she never got a chance to complete the spell, as a thin, emaciated woman clad in tattered desert clothing appeared atop the sphere, hunkered low like some kind of terrible spider, and pounced on the mage. She managed to leap aside at the last moment, and the woman - whose face and eyes had long ago rotted away - futilely attacked Calina's magic barrier as she fled to safety.
The battle against the undead woman was short but fierce, with her absorbing an alarming amount of damage, including a broken neck from being hit in the face with Honu's hammer. Eventually, however, she was destroyed, and Honu claimed her pitted and well-worn longsword as a trophy, despite believing that it was probably cursed.
The sixth day of travel northward through the desert brought the party to the bones of a huge creature, which Rivaan was able to identify as the remains of a whale. Blue flowers had grown all around it, and the group decided that it was a good place to camp out and rest for the day.
On the next day, the group caught sight of a camp and approached to discover a group of forty-some Rashed humans excavating large machines from the desert. The group was unable to determine what sort of purpose the machines might serve, and the Rashed were evasive as to their purpose. However, they were proper hosts and allowed the travelers to share their water and food, which included a surprising amount of desert melons. The group asked the Rashed if they knew about an abandoned temple to Rehema in the desert and were informed that they did know of such a temple: it lay to the east, near the exoskeleton of a giant, long-dead beetle.
That night, the party joined the Rashed at their campfire and shared stories. Calina told a story about how she once ruined one of her father's business plans by drawing upon some important documents, Cheer made up a story about a giant "skywhale" that carried people through the sky until it crashed in the desert and killed them beneath its bulk, and Honu shared an ancient proverb about his people regarding a race between the Tortles and a tribe of rabbit-folk over resources, that ended when the mocking rabbit had its legs broken by the Tortle that eventually won the race.
In the morning, the group set off into the desert, traveling east... for about half a day. Around noon, they encountered the remains of an ancient road, leading north-south, that had apparently been buried beneath the sands for quite some time. Also buried beneath the sands was a giant scorpion. Honu drew upon some nature magic to speak the scorpion's language but was unable to convince the beast that it shouldn't attack the party for food. Tabaxi were grabbed in its claws, though it fortunately wasn't able to land a sting on them before it was killed. Afterwards, Charles failed to harvest the scorpion's venom, and Honu peeled away fifteen pounds of chitin from its corpse for future use.
At this point, the group decided that this hidden road must surely lead somewhere and turned northward once again, turning away from the temple in favor of exploring the harsh desert around them. Their travels were marred by two entire days of frequent sandstorms, and when they had finally abated, the road was once again lost to the desert. Still, the group continued northward, and on the eleventh day of their travels, came to a large salt flat that stretched as far as the eye could see.
With their supplied dwindled by the sandstorms, the group decided to turn back southward, this time veering east a bit. On the next day, they discovered an ancient temple to Ishbal, the God of Commerce... and another giant scorpion. This encounter went much as the previous one did, with Honu attempting to reason with the scorpion and failing miserably. It grabbed Charles in its claws and tried to stab the little Tabaxi, but the weapons of the others, combined with an unrelenting barrage of magic missiles from Calina, brought the dangerous beast low. Honu carved another ten pounds of chitin from the scorpion, while Charles once again tried to remove its poison gland... and only succeeded in accidentally getting himself stung. Fortunately, the rest of the group was quick with the medicine kits and saved his life (again).
Calina and Rivaan, meanwhile, decided to search the shrine, despite Calina's magics revealing that there was nothing magical in the area. Thinking that there might still be coins buried beneath the sand in the temple, they began to excavate as best they could, and Calina luckily discovered a well-preserved magical staff that had been buried beyond the reach of her spell. After a short rest, she was able to identify it as a Staff of Dog, which allowed its wielder to speak with dogs. She was ecstatic.
Day thirteen of traveling was a lucky break for the travelers, as they caught sight of an oasis! Everyone rushed forward to fill their waterskins... and found themselves plunging headlong into a morass of quicksand as the illusionary waters and trees faded away like a mirage. Nearby, and old, gnarled woman cackled at them, calling them idiots as she watched them sink to their doom. As Cheer and Charles disappeared beneath the quicksand, Honu was able to pull himself free and trudge onto shore. He tossed a rope to the others as the old woman animated four small cacti, two of which attacked him while the other two jumped onto Rivaan and pushed him deeper into the quicksand.
Thanks to the rope, Rivaan and Calina were able to escape the quicksand, and Rivaan set about helping Honu in dispatching the cactus-things as Calina tried to fish Cheer out of the sinkhole. Charles was eventually rescued, and he charged toward the old woman screaming a battle cry... only to get snatched up and very nearly torn to shreds by the woman's impossibly strong claws.
This set everyone else into a panic, and Honu and Rivaan fought the woman off as Calina continued to try, in vain, to fish Cheer out of the quicksand. After Rivaan dealt her a deadly blow with his scimitar and magic dagger, the woman faded from sight, giving the group enough time to stabilize Charles. Honu trudged back into the quicksand and pulled Cheer out, much to the relief of the Tabaxi, who had thought that she was surely going to die in the quicksand.
Just as Cheer said that she was glad that was over, the old woman reappeared, cackling with glee as she kicked Cheer back into the quicksand. Everyone panicked, and Rivaan and Charles attempted to hold her off as the others tried to re-rescue Cheer. The old woman taunted Rivaan, saying that she was going to rip off his tail, and then grabbed it and started pulling with her impossible strength. Fortunately, Charles was able to stab the woman and finish her off before she could make good on her promise, and she exploded in a mass of vile, black slime.
Calina drew upon her magic to clean everyone of the filth, blood, and clinging sand that was caking onto them, and the group settled down for a much-needed rest with their dwindling supplies.
​
Next Session

Disclaimer

This data is not 100% accurate and has flaws which I bring up. This data is also not meant to flame DBG for not fixing the issue, or to continue to draw attention to the issue. I just think this graph is neat.
All timestamps are in UTC
Here's the graph: https://i.imgur.com/xPcpsn8.png
Here's the Google Sheet where I made the graph

Notable data points

• 2022-04-16 18:00 UTC thru 2022-04-18 13:00 UTC is the widest period where the estimated G15% is really high, around 45%. I assume a restarted gateway fixed this, shout out to the legend that restarted the gateway at 6am PDT.
  
• There are some pretty consistent spikes around 18 UTC every day. Sometimes those spikes only last for about 30 minutes, sometimes multiple hours.
  
• There's some funkiness going on around the 2022-03-03 and earlier. I'm curious what was happening then. Was Emerald also struggling then?
  

How did you get this data?

This data comes from databases I run Honu off of. I compared how many sessions were started, to how many unique people started a session in 30 minute periods. I assume that people who are trying to play, will repeatedly join the same character until they can get in.
For example, person A starts 3 sessions in a period. Person B starts 1 session in the same period. There are 4 sessions started, but only 2 unique players who have started sessions. This would give a 50% rate.
This is not a 100% accurate way to measure G15 errors for a couple of reasons:

1. It could be that player A simply wanted to restart their session and did not get a G15. This causes false positives.
2. It could be that player B started a session 1 second before the period ended which ended in a G15, then started another session in the next period. This would not be counted as a G15, as the sessions started in 2 different periods. This causes false negatives.
3. It assumes people will retry the same character repeatedly to get in, and won't try other characters. This causes false negatives.

However, I feel comfortable in the trend of the data. It's not useful for really any analysis, just an interesting graph to look at

I still don't know if I should be linking to my blog or just posting here, so here you go:
Chapter Two: The Spelldocks
At the end of the alley, Ceru came up short. She was still a grounder, and the sight of the open void struck a chord of fear in her heart. An unwanted rush of adrenaline made her take a deep breath of that foul, hot air, and she choked on it, grabbing the warm, metal railing and taking a knee. She tried to balance herself against the sight of all that infinity.
“This must be your first time away from home,” a voice said behind her. The words were Aquan, Quelyan - the tongue of the Seas, the language of her homeworld. The voice was gravelly, slow, and deep. Ceru didn’t recognize it, but she knew what sort of creature spoke in those tones. As she reclaimed her feet, she turned away from the swallowing darkness of open space, wearing an uneasy grin.
Sure enough, standing against the metal wall which was braced with stone and plastered with notices and want ads, and calls to adventure, there stood a six-foot tall, 400 pound, upright tortoise, with a long metal staff in one hand, and a pipe in the other. He eyed her with that peculiar expression that all tortles seemed to wear when they were wary but pleased to meet a potentially friendly face.
“Fair winds,” Ceru said in Aquan, bracing herself as she let go of the rail and stepped toward the tortle, trying not to think about the yawning darkness behind her.
“Following seas,” the Tortle returned. He motioned to the wall beside him. “I find it’s easier to take in the Void if you press your back against a solid surface. It’s almost like looking up at the night sky back home.”
She walked to the wall and leaned her forehead against it. The warm metal was soothing. The shock must’ve somehow given her a chill, because she was comforted by this feeling, and she laid her hand and then her cheek against it, closing her eyes.
For a long moment, there was silence between them, which the tortle was the first to break. “I hadn’t thought to find a fellow Quelyan out here in the black.”
Ceru turned to put her back against the wall, but did not open her eyes. “I’m told we’re not that rare,” she said. “Though, to be fair, I’ve seen neither human or halfling since I got here."
She could hear the tortle drawing on his pipe. When he exhaled, the smoke was unmistakably eeleaf. The scent of it made her long for home. “Really,” he said, then, “hmm.”
With her head down, she opened her eyes, for the first time noticing the large, canvas bag at his feet. “Headed home,” she asked before braving a glance up into the stars in front of her. She shut them immediately. It was so much easier on a boat, where you might not be able to see the horizon, but at least you can trick your mind into thinking it’s there. Here, you look off into space and it’s just…
Nothing. Stars and nothing.
“No,” the tortle responded. He tapped out the charcoal remains of his pipe and slipped it into a nook somewhere in his enormous shell. “I’m setting out for Ashen in a few hours. Gonna’ see what a dead world looks like.” He said this last with a grin and a thoughtful look in his eyes that gave tremendous weight to the idea of it.
“Your Odyssey?”
Now his smile turned genuine, mixed with a little surprise. “Just so,” he said. “Here I am, so many thousand leagues from home; and not only do I find a human, but a human who knows me?”
Ceru shrugged. “I was born near Ongmar,” she said. Her voice grew cold when she added, “and I spent time on Tortuga after my parent’s ship was torched. When I escaped, the first friendly port I found was Honu.”
“I know of this village,” the tortle said, pursing his lips, he raised a hand that almost found her shoulder, but fell away. She was looking off into the distance, at the weird scaffolding that made up the Madinat Alnnahas docks - built vertically on the side of the great, burning stone upon which the city was founded. “I visited there once in my youth.”
“It was nice,” she said. Her voice trailed off, however, leaving the impression that she hadn’t been in the mood to enjoy it.
The tortle stood, turning his back to the stars so that he could face her. “I am pleased to meet you, human,” he said, offering his open palm toward her after the manner of his people. “My name is Oquee.”
She smiled back at him and took his hand, sandwiched between her own two hands. “I am Cerulean Crowe,” she said. “My friends call me Ceru. It was nice to meet a friendly face.” She released his hand and added, “thanks for the tip, it did help."
“Indeed.” Oquee hoisted his bag up over his shell and held it there with one hand. “I take it that you too are setting out for the stars. What is the name of the vessel on which you will be traveling?”
“The Black Ophelia,” she said. “I’m early, but I don’t know where it is, except that it’s on this side of the docks.”
“How fortuitous!” Now Oquee did put his leathery hand on the young woman’s shoulder, gently turning her toward the narrow boardwalk and nudging her toward the maze-like scaffolding. “I too am sailing on the Ophelia.” His eyes widened with the promise of adventure, “we are to be crewmates!”

2 days ago, I (18M) was walking down Poipu Beach and decided to go check out the Marriott Waiohai Beach Club, where my older brother and I used to sneak around and swim in the pool when we were kids. I ordered lunch at the Honu Bar, and went swimming in the pool afterward.
Growing up in Hawaii, this wasn't my first time sneaking into a resort pool, so I knew that the key was to not draw attention to myself: be quiet, don't bomb/cannonball, and don't splash people. I ended up staying for a good hour and making a clean getaway.
Today, I decided a repeat was in order. So I did the exact same thing. I was waiting for my lunch on the stairs near the pool, not even doing anything, when some guy in a hotel uniform came and asked me if I had a wristband. I of course did not, and I need a room to get one, so he told me I had to wait at the bar or on a table.
I thought about just biting the bullet and booking a room for one night. However, the right over here for the cheapest room right now is $440 per night, which at the moment I cannot afford (I make like $980/month). I will have the opportunity to come back to Kauai at the beginning of October though, at which point I'll probably have enough saved up for maybe a 1-2 night stay.
How come I got caught today, but not the other day? You could say it's because I'm a Hawaiian guy in a resort full of tourists, or because they caught me without a wristband, but neither of those were a problem on Monday. What happened today?

Edit: The list is full up! I've added all comments thus far to the main post (and taken the liberty of fixing some grammar), and I'll continue adding more entries past 100 as they come in.
The bottle contains:

1. A Wish scroll. Yinyang107
2. A parchment letter, which reads: "Dear Michelle, I won't be coming home. We've been attacked by pirates, and most of the crew are dead. I don't have many supplies, and the ship is beyond repair. Please look after Jim; I know you'll raise him to be a fine man. Love, Thomas." Yinyang107
3. An ad for the Broken Drum pub in the capital. The slogan says "you can't beat it." Yinyang107
4. An ad for the Rosewater Island Resort, accompanied by a beautiful drawing of the island. Yinyang107
5. 20 gold pieces, and a note that says "for services rendered." Yinyang107
6. A magical ship in a bottle. It functions like the Folding Boat item. Yinyang107
7. A nonmagical ship in a bottle. Yinyang107
8. A cloud in a bottle. A creature carrying this bottle on their person can jump twice as high as normal. Yinyang107
9. A single pickle. The pickle is larger than the bottle's opening is wide. Yinyang107
10. A tiny dress, very pretty. If removed from the bottle, it becomes a full-size dress. The tag names a high-end clothier in the capital. Yinyang107
11. The bottle appears empty. If uncorked, the sound of faraway music can be heard. Yinyang107
12. The bottle appears empty. It functions as a bag of holding, but only for items that can be fit through the bottleneck. Yinyang107
13. The bottle is one of a pair. Speaking into one transmits one's voice through the other. The man at the other end believes you stole the one you have, and is quite irate. Yinyang107
14. A shopping list. Yinyang107
15. A recipe for saltwater taffy. Yinyang107
16. A health potion. Yinyang107
17. A child's drawing of their family. It's signed "Petruchio, Age 8". Yinyang107
18. The message in this bottle is in code. An attempt to decipher it requires one hour and an intelligence check (DC 18). The deciphered message reads "drink more Ovaltine." Yinyang107
19. A map that promises to lead to treasure. Yinyang107
20. At one time, this bottle was the vessel for colorful sand art. It has been shaken by the waves so much that all the colors have been blended together. Yinyang107
21. This message is a request for aid from someone who claims they have been shipwrecked. It gives an approximate location of the writer's location. The paper appears to be at least eighty years old. Yinyang107
22. An unfinished ship in a bottle. When you finish constructing the ship, you can break the bottle open in an emergency and the ship will grow into a full size version. Legendtamer47
23. A bottle filled with a thick, red liquid. If opened, the liquid climbs out of the bottle and spreads itself evenly over the opener's skin, seeping in and staining it for 1d6 days. SirFluffyChicken
24. A bottle without a cork that is impossible to fill. SirFluffyChicken
25. A bottle with a small amount (one use) of a pungent perfume that grants advantage on Charisma checks for 12 hours. SirFluffyChicken
26. A human fingerbone.
27. A bottle holding 100 GP and a note reading “If you have found this bottle, and know it is not for you, please, save your life. Do not take anything from it.” Flockofseagulls25
28. A glass bottle, shattered into dozens of pieces but painstakingly reassembled, with orange and red amber filling the cracks. It hums annoyingly if exposed to sunlight. Ninja_Parrot
29. A bottle filled with white powder. If examined (DC 5 Medicine or Investigation??) it seems to be the remains of a small cremated animal, the bottle hand-engraved "Lucius." Ninja_Parrot
30. A fine wine bottle coated in extremely smooth enchanted metal. If opened, it releases a flash of white light. The nearest sentient creature makes a DC 12 WIS save or experiences about 60 seconds of foreign memory -- the smell of cloves and pine sap and snow; lamplight; a cold breeze, unexpected but not unpleasant... Ninja_Parrot
31. When looking through the bottle it appears to be empty, however when the cork is removed and the bottle tipped an unlimited amount of sand comes out. Lunchtime_legend
32. A set of dice. If you shake the bottle, roll 1d100 and it will change to another option. Sporedian
33. A tiny ball of moss. If opened, the moss ball gains sentience and grows attached to who ever opens the bottle acting as if they are its parent. The moss ball can grow in size if fed algae, and will only grow to the size of a softball. It can communicate to its parent person, and generally is just a small, cute, ball of moss. thebatsammi
34. Bottle locked with a locked cap. Inside resides the key. labalumba
35. Create water spell written on a paper. labalumba
36. A bottle that blows strong winds when you open it. labalumba
37. A bottle with a micro-organism-system like thing. labalumba
38. A treasure map that erases when exposed to sunlight. labalumba
39. A hateful letter in a bottle to get the relief of writing it. labalumba
40. A message from depths of the ocean. labalumba
41. A recipe that requires a fish far from bottle. Bottle drifted away that far. labalumba
42. A tiny Earth elemental. When the bottle is picked up he gently knocks on the side of it, politely asking to be freed. He moves rather slowly and is very gentle. Meatuchu
43. A bottle with a colorful gas that when in haled does a random spell affect. (could be cure wounds or invisibility or etc.) MrBlueSky643
44. A bottle containing a magic goldfish that can be used as a commune with nature once a day. MrBlueSky643
45. A bottle containing a regular goldfish. MrBlueSky643
46. A jar of dirt. MrBlueSky643
47. A bottle containing a twig with a cocoon attached. The cocoon will turn into a butterfly in 1d4 days. MrBlueSky643
48. A bottle containing the eye of a newt. MrBlueSky643
49. A bottle containing a star-map that leads to a desolate island. The island is a tiny beach about 200ft in diameter with a coconut tree in the middle. Next to the tree is a bottle of rum and a note. The note says "IOU 200,000 gp" MrBlueSky643
50. A ring with a note. The note says to give the ring to a woman that lost her husband a long time ago. FrankSicarpa
51. An invisible mossy stone. FrankSicarpa
52. Roll a d4 and based on result, bottle contains: (1) up to 1 gallon of fresh water; (2) up to 1 quart of wine (or some drinker's delight); (3) a potion of (dm choice); (4) bottle forcefully expels 100 gallons of foul, brackish water and cannot be recorked. Bottle can only be used one per day. TrevSwan
53. A wide-necked bottle. Once opened, a infinite number of potato chips begin flying out. JMA_256
54. A note that says: Flee at once. All is discovered. Admiral_Dermond
55. A bottle with a confession of a high profile murder. Ska_For_Brains
56. A note, which reads: "Dear Sir or Madam, greetings. I am a scholar at [Insert city here] University. I am conducting research on the wave currents of the seas, if you would be so kind to come to [Insert city here] University and tell me where you found this bottle (and any bottle you may find along the way). I would be more than happy to pay you a sum of 5 gp for each bottle you find, and my most deepest gratitude. Regards, Prof. [Insert name here]" Good_Cheap_Gentleman
57. A bottle that is always wet, no matter what. KiwiChoppa147
58. A bottle with a letter that says; "Dear recipient, fuck you. Sincerely: Mayor of Douchville." KiwiChoppa147
59. A bottle that has a smaller bottle inside of it, and the smaller bottle grows to the size of the original bottle when removed, but then has another smaller bottle inside basically making an infinite loop of endless bottles. KiwiChoppa147
60. A bottle that’s warm to the touch on the outside, but can keep any contents refrigerated on the inside. KiwiChoppa147
61. A map to a shipwrecked wizard. Rescuing him results in a large magical reward. WeShouldBeSluttier
62. A message from sirens asking for help from the earth walkers. Dixion
63. A closed bottle of a transparent liquid, labeled simply as "the bottle" in plain text. Each time the bottle is opened, a different drink pours out, and the bottle is neverending (my personal favorite was a steady stream of Gogurt). omega_tron1
64. A bottle that, when opened, constantly screams, dealing 1d8 psychic damage to anyone who hears it every six seconds until it is recorked or broken. Smashing the bottle causes a black mist to emerge, then dissipate. The bottom of the bottle on the inside has a strange rune circle engraved on it. Clickclacktheblueguy
65. A swirling vortex inside a corked bottle that releases an air elemental who is very grateful and disappears shortly after you open it. Before leaving they will use their powers of wind to assist in some way. Shrapnel_Sponge (And one day the party who opened it is encountered by a crazed wizard from a distant land asking why they opened the bottle, and then he leaves. That's all. Axeloy)
66. The bottle contains a wanted poster bearing the image of a Dragonborn man. A DC 15 History check reveals that the man was wanted for necromancy a hundred years ago, and was never caught. jim_placebo
67. If opened the bottle sucks all members of the party into a pocket dimension. Time in this world passes much slower than in the real world. 1 hour in the bottle is 1 second on the outside. Inside the pocket dimension terrible dangers await, but also a wonderful reward (essentially the bottle is a dungeon). If you decide to leave the bottle, you can never come back.crazyg93
68. Bottle mimic. Raiquen-
69. It contains a pair of testicles from an unknown monster. ewillard128
70. A pixie that has been adrift for over a week now. Raiquen-
71. A bottle containing a mysterious shimmering liquid. As an action, a character can drink it and then roll on the wild magic surge table to release a random magical effect. grannysmithpears
72. A bottle containing a very old and yellowed piece of paper. Written on it: “if 't be true thou art reading this then thou art gay.” grannysmithpears
73. A note from a rich Aeregin prince, who needs help hiding his vast wealth. JaccarTheProgrammer
74. A tiny sized mermaid that asks you to let her go. if you do so immediately she will grow to medium size when released and will show up at a later time to aid your characteparty. if you attempt to negotiate she will give you a pearl worth 10 gold pieces. if you keep her trapped, like a pet, you will start to have more hostile encounters when near the sea, either from merfolk trying to rescue her, or Kua-Toa that want to capture/eat her (and everyone near her). Sororita
75. An empty bottle. Honu_Akua
76. A bottle that contains the directions to a cursed island far on the outskirts of the world, that has been rumored to exist for centuries and contains riches, etc. beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Once the island is reached, anyone who comes into view of the island cannot leave until they persuade another person, somewhere, to come looking for it. Then, when this new adventurer arrives, their shackles are exchanged with the newcomer. When they are released, they may take whatever they wish from the island, so long as they are physically able to carry it. The issue is, the bottles sent from the island have become increasingly dismissed as a joke or as some sort of bait deployed by pirates, etc. so whatever method used (doesn't necessarily have to be messages in bottles) to attract people must be increasingly persuasive and unique, as the many years of people receiving messages has caused the messages to be disregarded. Retconn
77. A very expensive pearl or precious stone, slightly larger than the bottle's opening. The bottle is somehow unbreakable by nonmagical means. A note glued to the inside reads: "here is your reward, Bill". aagapovjr
78. A baculum (penis bone). Biolog4viking
79. A floweherb with magical or alchemical properties. Biolog4viking
80. A piece of paper with "the black spot". Biolog4viking
81. A crystal decanter containing a rusted, gem-encrusted signet ring. Anyone proficient with Jeweler's tools can make a DC 12 History check to identify the lord/house the ring belongs to, and a DC 15 Intelligence (Jeweler's tools) check can be used to clean the ring. catfunt69
82. The bottle functions as a primitive spy glass. Tjalfech
83. A colony of super-intelligent ants has conquered an entire small island, inside this bottle are their first conquistadors coming to colonize a new land. Sandwich8080
84. Lightning in a bottle when opened a bolt of lightning will shoot out as the effect of casting lightning bolt. GodOfAscension
85. This bottle and its contents are under a powerful curse. It is made of clear unadorned glass and has an ornate stopper. An close inspection of the bottle reveals that it contains a small keep, an entire village, residents, their farms and livestock. The tiny villagers will frantically wave and gesture at anyone inspecting the bottle but no sound penetrates the glass. If the bottle is uncorked, the uncorker and everyone within a 10’ radius must make a DC 17 CON save. A failed save results in being shrunken and sucked into the bottle village. The bottle is immune to non-magical weapons. EugeneHarlot
86. An empty bottle that’s corked and waxed, washes ashore. Upon opening, a small gust of air wooshes out and an old and eccentric voice whispers: “Help! My ridiculous homunculus Fblthp set off some traps that set loose my experiments! Now I’m trapped in my own tower and can’t get out! Send help! Much reward!”. The old wizard voice tells you how to find his tower on the shores of a small isolated island. Rescue him from his own tower of traps and island filled with ridiculous creatures. EonicDrifter
87. A single platinum coin with a grinning skull of a black dragon engraved on one side and a golden dragon inlaid on the other. Arcana check reveals it to be a draconic luck coin. Grants +/-2 to a roll when flipped. Baconator137
88. A bottle that after being opened will randomly make the holder deaf. Mewscott
89. A bottle that can't be broken and contains a gem that has an extremely high value. The only way to break it is by throwing it at a humanoid. Mewscott
90. A bottle that is being used as a shell by a large hermit crab. austinocookie
91. A bottle with a label saying “WARNING - DO NOT OPEN” Opening it will cause the bottle to explode, dealing 2d8 fire damage to the holder and 2d4 slashing damage to anybody besides the holder in at 30ft radius due to shrapnel. austinocookie
92. A bottle of water. A DC15 Arcana check will tell you that it contains blessed water that gives you 10 temporary HP when ingested austinocookie
93. A small ship in a bottle. Opening it will cause the ship to fly out to the nearest source of water and sail in circles until picked up and put back in the bottle. austinocookie
94. A bottle containing a treasure map. Following it will lead you to a large hole dug in the sand with a shovel nearby. There is a ripped up note in the hole that when pieced together says “The treasure here is the friends you make along the way!” austinocookie
95. A bottle that is somehow containing a larger bottle inside of it. austinocookie
96. A bottle full of salt. austinocookie
97. A bottle with he label "DRINK ME". Nothing happens if they do. faerieunderfoot
98. A bottle with he label "DRINK ME". A creature who drinks from it grows or shrinks as if by the enlarge/reduce spell (1d4 odds small evens big). faerieunderfoot
99. A tiny bottle filled with a liquid that changes consistency depending on the holders emotions. faerieunderfoot
100. An ink bottle: the colour changes each use. faerieunderfoot
101. An bottle of invisible ink. faerieunderfoot
102. A bottle filled with slowly swirling water that glitters in the light. faerieunderfoot
103. A dark glass bottle with a wax sealed top. It's old and encrusted with barnacles and other bits of sealife. Inside is a delicious fruit liqueur. faerieunderfoot
104. A squat mason style jar in which something pickled is floating in vinegar. Something that looks disturbingly like a human toe. faerieunderfoot
105. A perfectly sealed round bottle that holds a completely self sustaining biome. faerieunderfoot
106. A message that reads "dear L, I'm sorry, love B" faerieunderfoot
107. A shrunken Kraken that swims around the bottle and makes the inside stormy with its control weather ability. The Kraken is under the effect of an Imprison spell and the bottle can only be destroyed by a Wish spell, which frees the Kraken. It sometimes uses its telepathy to talk to whoever’s holding the bottle, speaking in a squeaky voice about how if you free it, it will lay waste to those who oppose you as gratitude for releasing it. space_and_fluff
108. A dark glass bottle containing approximately one ounce of rum. Upon taking the last swig, the drinker is affected if they drank a potion of Rage (no save). Used this way, the bottle recharges every evening. Alternatively, smashing the bottle casts Rage on all targets within a 30' radius (DC 17 to resist). This destroys the bottle permanently. In either case, affected persons are compelled to shout "Why is the rum gone?" before charging into melee. R2gro2
109. A page torn out of a magazine. On one side is part of an article about curtains, the other side has a recipe for mint brownies. Scribbled in the margin is a note for correct dosage amounts for arsenic depending on age. At the bottom of the page is another note, "Dear Flitzy, found this and thought it'd work well for your circumstances, love Flopsy" A_Curious_Coder
110. A bottle of amber fluid containing preserved eyeballs of various sizes, colors, and species. They jostle and shift when you move the bottle, but one always seems to be looking directly at you no matter what. Covering the bottle with a cloth causes the cloth to mysteriously fall off when unobserved. R2gro2
111. An old canning jar half-filled with various folded slips of paper. A crude paper label is affixed to the outside and reads "Souls" in common. The label on the outside is not original, but was placed by a former user so all would be aware of the likely cost. Placing your name and a short request into the jar summons a minor devil to negotiate with you. They are amenable to negotiation, and do not always get a soul in exchange, but they will try. It's a verbal contract, but casting the jar back into the sea seals the deal. If no deal can be reached, the devil and your petition disappear immediately, and the jar vanishes a few days later if not used again. The paper slips cannot be removed, but can be opened and read while still in the jar. Roll 1d10:
     1. Hollis Booker - revenge
     2. Fiona Castlegate - love eternal
     3. (in Orcish) Grusk Blackclaw - power
     4. Robert Villari - rescue (and hastily scrawled) and a cookie
     5. (in a child's printing) Holly - a pet dragon
     6. (in invisible ink, DC 20 perception) Merryn Illefoster - Secrets
     7. (stained paper) Xiao Imheros - The damned formula!!
     8. (in crude draconic) HIRKU - BE DRAGON
     9. Sophia Densdottir - Family
     10. (The fine printing on this slip is readable in whatever language you speak) Place a slip of paper with your name and request into the jar, and a representative will be with you shortly. R2gro2
112. A corked bottle containing a rolled slip of paper. Popping the cork releases a mild unidentifiable scent. The paper reads: "You're like my brother, I broke wind in this bottle. I hope you liked it." R2gro2
113. The bottle appears to contain a clear, yet distinctly yellow liquid. Is it a potion? Uncorking the bottle dispels that notion completely. Nope, that’s urine. Ew. ASzinhaz
114. A note which reads: "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a bottle factory." infinitum3d
115. A dark bottle that sucks anyone opening it into it (someone else has to smash it). Josh_Woodward
116. A decorative bottle reminiscent of a stained glass window. When opened, a Djinni appears in front of the holder of the bottle. However, the Djinni has been at sea so long, that they are extremely nauseous. There is a 50% chance at any time that the Djinni will be vomiting. In addition, there is a 60% chance that the Djinni will confuse a wish request due to their sickly status. Likewise, the owner of the bottle is only going to get one chance for a wish before the Djinni returns to the bottle, and will not exit again for at least two weeks on shore. Kerstrom

I'm looking for a list of all the language libraries for Racket. Hopefully it would include some info about them, and their use cases. If not, maybe we could assemble one here.
from PLaneT:

• advanced-student - simple compiler for the Advanced Student language
• aspect-scheme - Reference implementation of AspectScheme from "Aspects in Higher-Order Languages"
• bf - brainfuck compiler
• bulletml - BulletML is an XML-based markup language for describing the patterns of bullets in shoot ’em up video games.
• classic-java
• datalog -deductive database programming
• doodle-draw - Little #lang for drawing Bezier curves and lines.
• dracula
• drocaml - OCaml
• javascript
• liso - An alternative syntax for s-expression languages entirely based on an operator precedence table.
• logo - implementation of Logo
• plai - Language levels for the Programming Languages: Application and Interpretation textbook
• pyret - Python's syntax, Racket's semantics
• r⁴rs - expository Scheme compiler for a subset of R4RS Scheme
• resource - A experimental langauge level that force the program to use limited amout of resource.
• scip, scip-concurrency
• sml - implementation of the Standard ML programming language [SML'97]
• thread - THREAD provides erlang-style programming constructs for concurrency programming.
• typed-student - Typed Student: typed languages and teachpacks for HtDP.

from soegaard:

• C - for demonstrating C programs in DrRacket
• cKanren - implements miniKanren (http://minikanren.org) with an extensible framework for defining constraints
• Honu - Honu is a family of languages built on top of Racket. Honu syntax resembles Java.
• minikanren - This repository contains a pkg version of the original Planet package of minikanren by Dan Friedman.
• minimart - Like marketplace, only smaller, and based directly on the network calculus.
• minipascal
• mischief - a set of general-purpose utilities for programming and meta-programming in Racket
• parenlog - prolog with parenthesis
• pcf - This collection implements four core programming languages, useful for studying PCF, contracts, and symbolic execution.
• plai-typed - language for use with Programming Languages: Application and Interpretation, Second Edition
• plai-lazy - a lazy variant of the plai language
• play - variations on #lang plai
• profj - ProfessorJ, student-friendly subsets of Java
• rackjure - some Clojure-inspired idioms
• scratchy - Scratch-like runtime and language
• semilit - semi-literate programming for any Racket language
• superc - C code with macros in Racket
• xlang - a language of combinators and numeric constants, implemented in Racket

from gmarceau:

• mzscheme
• racket
• racket/private
• racket/unit
• racket/private/base
• #%kernel
• racket/load
• racket/base
• racket/private/provider
• racket/signature
• slideshow
• racket/gui
• at-exp scheme/base
• at-exp racket/base
• scribble/doc - the Racket documentation tool
• scribble/manual
• scribble/base/reader
• scribble/lp
• deinprogramm/DMdA
• htdp/asl
• htdp/isl+
• htdp/bsl
• frtime/lang-utils
• frtime/frtime-lang-only
• frtime - language for reactive programs
• syntax/module-reader
• web-serveinsta
• meta/web
• srfi/provider
• typed/racket
• typed-scheme/minimal
• r⁶rs - The Revised⁶ Report on the Algorithmic Language Scheme
• r⁵rs - The Revised⁵ Report on the Algorithmic Language Scheme
• setup/infotab

from Sze42:

• Efficient Forth - Forth-like system in Racket, with interoperablitly between the two, with macros

from SoftwareMaven:

• Mustache for Racket - A Racket implementation of Mustache (logic-less templates).

from the Racket dev blog:

• Marketplace: Network-Aware Programming

from the root of the Racket packages Documentation:

• afl - a meta-language like at-exp that adds rackjure-like anonymous function literals to a language
• ECMAScript - an implementation of the [ECMAScript specification](ECMAScript)
• Pollen - a publishing system that helps authors create beautiful and functional web-based books
• Lazy Racket - function applications are delayed, and promises are automatically forced
• Algol 60 - implements the language defined by the “Revised Report on the Algorithmic Language Algol 60,” edited by Peter Naur