Hi,
Im new to all this so go easy and ill try my best to keep it simple but dont think there is an overly concise way to summarise this. Im trying to produce a workbook which serves as a one stop shop for our orders recieved and dispatching side of the business whilst trying not to change too much aesthetically on the surface so the transition is smooth and embraced as currently there is duplication for this in 4 separate places as well as a POS portal, which as you can imagine is leading to a large amount of human error and poor productivity.
I wish to have two control documents (probably can be one if im honest) which is a list of our customers as a master list, then a list of the product lines which pack size and qty etc per customer depedant on which ones are applicable to them.
I wish to use the latter template as the daily order sheet which means i duplicate it for each day (sheets to be named by date ie. 010624). I then want to be able to pull that sheet through to a 'Load Sheet' where it removes all the lines where there is a qty of 0 so we can see how many orders we have got, how many pallets it equates to etc. Id like to be able to do this through a drop down list (which is auto populated by the sheet names as and when they are added)
Any help on the set up would be greatly appreciated :)
As mentioned, i then want to choose a named worksheet from a drop down list on the Load Plan sheet which will pull that sheets data through and filter out lines with 0 qty and then allow me to assign load numbers in a Load Number column to then slice view on the despatch page to assign pallet numbers etc. This is where im pretty fixed in method otherwise too much change, old dogs new tricks etc etc .
Thanks in advance

The War Scroll, also known as the "War of the Sons of Light Against the Sons of Darkness," is a unique text within the Dead Sea Scrolls that portrays an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good (Sons of Light) and evil (Sons of Darkness). This scroll provides insight into both historical and symbolic elements.
Historical Accuracy:
The War Scroll, while containing detailed military tactics and an epic narrative of the ultimate confrontation, doesn't explicitly reference any specific historical event or timeframe. Some scholars believe it could be a product of the community's anticipation of a future messianic conflict or a reflection of their own community's struggles against opposing forces during their time. Interpreting the historical accuracy of the scroll often involves exploring the context of the Qumran community and the turbulent times in which they lived.
Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:
The War Scroll goes beyond a mere description of a physical battle. It portrays a cosmic conflict between the forces of light and darkness, reflecting not just a literal warfare but also a symbolic and spiritual struggle. The text emphasizes righteousness, divine intervention, and the victory of good over evil.
Within the study guide, activities and exercises could involve dissecting the symbolic elements present in the War Scroll, exploring the deeper meanings behind the battle tactics and the metaphysical implications of the conflict. Understanding the symbolism could involve group discussions, comparative analysis with other ancient texts with similar themes, and exploring the impact of this symbolic representation on the community's beliefs and practices.
Here are a few activities and exercises to explore the symbolism and historical context of the War Scroll from the Dead Sea Scrolls:

1. Symbolism Analysis:

Provide excerpts from the War Scroll and encourage participants to identify and discuss the symbolic meanings behind elements like the "Sons of Light" and the "Sons of Darkness," various weapons, and the strategies outlined for battle. Group discussions or written reflections can help participants explore the deeper layers of meaning.

1. Comparative Analysis:

Compare the War Scroll's themes with similar apocalyptic or eschatological texts from different cultures or religions, such as apocalyptic passages in the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible or apocalyptic texts from other ancient traditions. Create worksheets or discussion prompts to highlight similarities and differences in themes, symbols, and beliefs about cosmic battles.

1. Historical Context Exploration:

Present historical information about the era when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written. Discuss the political, social, and religious climate of that time, including the turmoil in the region, to understand how these factors might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll. Encourage participants to consider the possible motivations behind the text's creation.

1. Creative Interpretation:

Encourage creative expression by asking participants to create artwork, poems, or short stories inspired by the themes and imagery found in the War Scroll. This exercise allows individuals to engage more deeply with the symbolic elements and interpret them in their own unique ways.

1. Role-playing or Debates:
   Organize a role-playing activity where participants take on the roles of "Sons of Light" and "Sons of Darkness," debating their ideologies, motivations, and strategies for the ultimate battle. This exercise helps in understanding differing perspectives and interpreting the conflicts presented in the scroll.
   

Interpretative variations regarding the river's crossing in different ancient texts reflect the unique religious, philosophical, and cultural perspectives embedded within these narratives. These differences in interpretation offer insights into diverse worldviews and varying theological frameworks present in ancient texts:

1. Mesopotamian Context:

• In Mesopotamian mythology and literature, the Euphrates River often held symbolic significance as a boundary between the known civilized world and the wild, unknown realms. The crossing of the Euphrates could symbolize journeys into unexplored territories or transitions between order and chaos. This perspective reflects a worldview rooted in the physical and geographical division of lands.

1. Biblical Context:

• In biblical texts, such as those in the Book of Revelation or Old Testament prophecies, the crossing of the Euphrates carries eschatological significance. It may represent a divine intervention or a decisive moment in God's plan, marking the commencement of apocalyptic events. This interpretation aligns with the biblical narrative of divine judgment and the unfolding of God's ultimate purpose in history.

1. Gnostic or Apocryphal Context:

• Gnostic or apocryphal texts often interpret the river's crossing as a symbolic liberation or awakening. It might signify the release of spiritual forces or the ascent to higher consciousness, reflecting a philosophical perspective emphasizing spiritual enlightenment and liberation from material constraints.

1. Greco-Roman Interpretation:

• In Greco-Roman literature, crossings of rivers were often associated with mythological journeys or transitions between realms. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize a transition from mundane existence to a realm of mystery or spiritual significance, reflecting a cultural perspective rooted in mythology and cosmology.

These varied interpretations highlight the richness and diversity of religious, philosophical, and cultural frameworks present in ancient texts. The river's crossing serves as a flexible symbol that adapts to different narratives, conveying themes of transition, judgment, liberation, or cosmic transformation based on the unique perspectives of each tradition.
Exploring these interpretative variations allows participants to appreciate the complexity of symbolism within ancient texts and provides insights into how different cultures and belief systems interpreted common motifs like the river Euphrates. It showcases the intricate interplay between religious, philosophical, and cultural elements shaping the symbolism and theological implications embedded in these narratives.
The river Euphrates, a prominent geographic feature in ancient texts, embodies universal themes that transcend specific cultural contexts. Identifying these universal themes helps reveal shared human concepts of transition, boundaries, and transformative events across diverse ancient traditions:

1. Threshold and Transition:

• The Euphrates often symbolizes a boundary between known and unknown territories. Its crossing represents a transition from one state to another, signifying a pivotal moment of change or passage. This theme of crossing a threshold echoes the human experience of transitions in life, moving from familiar to unfamiliar realms.

1. Boundary and Separation:

• As a geographical boundary, the Euphrates signifies separation between distinct territories or civilizations. This concept of demarcation resonates with universal human experiences of setting boundaries, delineating spaces, or marking divisions between different aspects of life.

1. Transformative Events:

• Crossing the Euphrates is often associated with cosmic or transformative events in ancient texts. This universal theme reflects the human fascination with the concept of epochal change, cosmic upheavals, or moments of divine intervention that reshape the course of history.

1. Symbol of Power and Control:

• The river might represent a symbol of power, control, or geopolitical significance. Crossing it could signify shifts in dominance, challenges to established authority, or the assertion of influence. This theme resonates with human narratives of power struggles and shifts in societal dynamics.

1. Metaphor for Spiritual Journeys:

• Across cultures, rivers are often used metaphorically to represent spiritual journeys or quests. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize the pursuit of enlightenment, the passage to higher realms of understanding, or the quest for spiritual transformation.

These universal themes associated with the river Euphrates highlight fundamental aspects of the human experience—transitions, boundaries, transformative events, power dynamics, and spiritual journeys. The river's symbolism in ancient texts speaks to shared human aspirations, struggles, and beliefs that transcend cultural boundaries and resonate across different epochs and civilizations.
By identifying and discussing these universal themes, participants gain a deeper appreciation for the profound symbolism embedded in ancient texts and recognize the timeless relevance of concepts such as transition, boundaries, and transformative events in shaping human narratives and aspirations.

1. Historical Context:

• What historical events or societal conditions might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll?
  
• How does the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contribute to our understanding of this text's significance?
  

1. Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:

• How does the War Scroll use symbolism to convey spiritual or cosmic themes?
  
• What esoteric wisdom or deeper spiritual insights can be derived from the portrayal of cosmic conflict and divine intervention within the text?
  

1. Comparative Analysis:

• Compare the themes and symbolism of the War Scroll with other apocalyptic texts from different cultures (e.g., Book of Revelation, The Book of Daniel). What common motifs or differences in interpretation do you observe?

1. Parallelism in Biblical Texts:

• Explore connections between the War Scroll and other biblical texts. How does the language, imagery, or themes in the War Scroll intersect with passages from the Hebrew Bible or New Testament?

1. Community Beliefs and Practices:

• How might the apocalyptic expectations depicted in the War Scroll have influenced the beliefs and practices of the community that produced it?
  
• Discuss the impact of such intense anticipation of cosmic conflict on communal life and religious rituals within the community.
  

1. Cultural Significance of Cosmic Battles:

• Across various ancient cultures, why do you think depictions of cosmic battles and eschatological events were significant? What might these narratives represent in a broader cultural context?

1. Interpretive Variations and Unique Perspectives:

• Explore the diverse interpretations of specific passages or symbols within the War Scroll. How do different scholars or traditions interpret these elements, and what underlying factors might influence their interpretations?

1. Personal Reflection and Modern Relevance:

• Reflect on how the themes of cosmic conflict, righteousness, and spiritual warfare in the War Scroll might resonate in contemporary society or personal belief systems.

1. Theological and Philosophical Implications:

• Discuss the theological and philosophical implications of a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness. How does this theme intersect with broader philosophical inquiries or theological doctrines?

1. Literary and Symbolic Analysis:

- Analyze the narrative structure and symbolic elements present in specific passages of the War Scroll. How do these elements contribute to the text's overarching themes and meanings? 

These study questions aim to provoke critical thinking, promote in-depth exploration of themes, encourage comparative analysis, and stimulate discussions on the multifaceted nature of the War Scroll's content and its significance within ancient and contemporary contexts.

1. Archaeological and Linguistic Analysis:

- How does the physical condition of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, impact our understanding of their preservation and historical context? - Discuss the linguistic peculiarities or unique textual features found within the War Scroll and their implications for translation and interpretation. 

1. Apocalyptic Expectations and Messianic Concepts:

- Explore the portrayal of messianic figures or anticipated saviors within the War Scroll. How do these concepts align with or diverge from contemporary expectations of a messianic figure in other ancient texts or religious traditions? 

1. Impact of Apocalyptic Literature:

- Analyze the enduring influence of apocalyptic literature, such as the War Scroll, on subsequent religious, literary, or cultural traditions. How have these texts shaped later beliefs or inspired artistic and literary works? 

1. Ethical and Moral Frameworks:

- Discuss the ethical or moral implications of the cosmic conflict depicted in the War Scroll. How do the themes of righteousness and wickedness contribute to the text's underlying moral framework? 

1. Role of Prophecy and Revelation:

- Explore the role of prophecy and revelation within the War Scroll. How do the prophetic elements contribute to the text's portrayal of future events and cosmic justice? 

1. Experiential and Ritualistic Elements:

- Investigate potential ritualistic or experiential dimensions associated with the teachings or beliefs conveyed in the War Scroll. How might the community have engaged with these teachings in their religious practices or communal activities? 

1. Literary Genre and Interpretation:

- Discuss the classification of the War Scroll within the broader genre of apocalyptic literature. How does its classification influence our understanding and interpretation of its themes and symbolic elements? 

1. Relevance in Modern Scholarship:

- Reflect on the ongoing scholarly debates or discoveries related to the War Scroll. How have modern interpretations evolved, and what implications do these new perspectives have on our understanding of the text? 

1. Intersection of Faith and Scholarship:

- Consider the interplay between faith-based interpretations and scholarly analyses of the War Scroll. How might religious convictions or theological frameworks influence academic research and vice versa? 

1. Future Research and Interpretative Avenues:

- Propose potential avenues for future research or areas of exploration concerning the War Scroll. What unanswered questions or unexplored aspects merit further investigation? 

The composition of the War Scroll, along with other Dead Sea Scrolls, was likely influenced by several historical events and societal conditions prevalent during the time of its writing, which is estimated to be between the 2nd century BCE and the 1st century CE:

1. Hellenistic Rule and Cultural Influence:

• The region where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found was under Hellenistic influence due to the conquests of Alexander the Great and the subsequent control by the Seleucid Empire. This era saw a clash between Hellenistic culture and Jewish traditions, leading to cultural tensions and a desire to preserve religious and cultural heritage.

1. Political Turmoil and Resistance Movements:

• The Jewish people experienced political unrest, particularly during the Maccabean Revolt against Seleucid rule. This period was characterized by resistance movements, attempts to preserve Jewish identity, and fervent anticipation of a messianic figure to deliver them from foreign oppression.

1. Religious Sects and Spiritual Expectations:

• Various religious sects existed within Judaism, each with its own interpretations and expectations of messianic redemption, purity laws, and theological doctrines. The community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls, often believed to be the Essenes, likely had distinctive theological beliefs and a strong apocalyptic worldview.

1. Anticipation of Cosmic Redemption:

• There was a widespread belief in the imminent arrival of a messianic figure or a divine intervention that would bring about cosmic redemption, ushering in an era of righteousness and divine rule. This anticipation of apocalyptic events and a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness is reflected in the War Scroll's themes.

Regarding the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery, its significance lies in multiple facets:

1. Preservation of Ancient Texts:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, provided an invaluable collection of ancient manuscripts that significantly expanded our understanding of ancient Jewish texts, religious beliefs, and the diversity of Jewish thought during the Second Temple period.

1. Insights into Jewish Sectarianism:

• The scrolls shed light on the diversity of beliefs and practices among Jewish sects during that time. Understanding the beliefs and expectations of the community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls helps contextualize the theological and apocalyptic themes present in the War Scroll.

1. Confirmation of Scriptural Accuracy:

• The Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contributed to confirming the accuracy and preservation of certain biblical texts, highlighting the continuity of textual transmission across centuries and supporting the authenticity of biblical manuscripts.

1. Impact on Biblical Studies and Scholarship:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls revolutionized biblical studies, providing scholars with invaluable primary sources for studying ancient Judaism, the development of biblical texts, and the context in which these texts were composed.

The historical context of political upheaval, religious expectations, and the preservation of texts within the Dead Sea Scrolls contributes significantly to understanding the milieu in which the War Scroll was written. It provides a backdrop against which the themes of cosmic conflict, eschatological anticipation, and religious fervor within the War Scroll can be comprehended.

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

​
​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

• New posters and accounts go through a waiting period before their posts will show in the sub and the comments on posts automatically. During the new account approval period the mod team will check posts to be sure you aren't attempting to circumvent a ban with a shiny new account. Please be patient while the timer runs down on your "new" status and the mod team approves your posts and responses.

Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
• Comments are removed at moderator discretion. In some cases your comment may be removed while another remains up. If you find this to be the case, and you believe the comment to be violating the rules, instead of arguing with mods or demanding they remove the additional comments, just report it.

This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

What are the general moderator guidelines?

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

here are a few of mine:
graphs may not be f(x), but instead transformations of f(x)
write EVERYTHING down algebraically, logic-ing things out tends to lead to silly mistakes even in easy questions, also draw figures, this alone saves needing like 10 extra tips to keep in mind.
look at the domain for those "write an equation thats y = 34x + 3" guys where theres a difference between x starting at zero and at a certain number. usually youll have to add the rate on x times that number to the entire thing to get like "f(x) = 34x + 37"
use desmos, its honestly amazing.
now for reading:
for logical word questions, try to pick one that doesnt add information and has the most direct justification. to help with this you can guess before you look at the answers so your not biased (helps for like 25% of the questions), and if your still stuck, just pick the most general, non opinionated sounding word.
also looking at the roots of words helps a lot too.
for the last questions, you dont even need to look at the bullet points. instead look for relation words that match the relation in the question. e.g. "student wants to show how 2 things are similar" first look for questions with 2 things, then look for "similar" relationship words like "both" or "similarly".
for transition words its the same thing, you should group them into relationship like "contrasting" "adding" "sequence" (this one is REALLY easy if you see 'finally" or "then" or "next" before or after). and if you see 2 in the same category, likely neither of them are the correct answer.
also try and guess the catagory before looking at the answer, i personally have gotten completely thrown off track because i looked at the answers first.
same thing with periods and semicolons, if you see both, neither of them are the right answer.
for colons, its usually correct if it answers a question posed about the previous sentence.
for subject verb, remember, prepositions dont count, and usually they use "of" prepositional phrases. also know that things inside two commas can be deleted and the sentence should be logically the same. and a sentence can start with a dependant clause and end with an independant one, and transitions always need commas and or periods surrounding them ". However, " ", however, " ", however.". also know the fanboys rule about connecting independent clauses.
for standard english ones, plug in and *read until the end of the sentence* ive gotten burned a couple times because i was being lazy and didnt read the entire thing.
look for dependant and independant clauses, and when in doubt, pick the option with the least grammar.
for data questions, cross out the answers that (if the question asks for it) dont support the author first, then verify with the data second.
for "function of the underlined portion" i find it helps if i litterally replace the answer i think it is and see if it makes sense in "idea".
also be REALLY sure of added information by the answers, anything sounding kindof opinionated should immediately raise red flags, same thing for author 1 and author 2 ones, usually the answer is justifiable and not an opinion or reaction, and instead some kind of restatement of something in the text, honestly thats most of the questions.
for the best supports argument ones, make sure it hits every point of their argument
for main purpose, its usually just a template / restating of the text.
also make sure to hit *every* point the question asks for
lastly when you have no clue, its best to pick the most minimal answer, least grammar, most general answer ime.
if any of yall disagree with something, or want to add anything, please let me know!

Do you reference electronic audit files the same way you did when you used to keep physical files? We transitioned from physical files to now doing everything in SharePoint but we don't reference files like saying for example WP/1, WP/2. Please enlighten me. I thought just adding a link to the specific file and/or worksheet would be sufficient.

This is probably a longer story than it really is, but I am just trying to give as much context as I can.
In grade 11, me (F16-17) and my ex-friend (F16-17) were best friends. For some context, we both became friends fairly early in high school. In my country high school is from grade 8-grade 12. I joined the high school in grade 8 from out of city, the high school is just closer to me than the one in my city, so I was a new kid. I made some friends in grade 8 as a new kid but those friendships did end in grade 9. Grade 9 is when my best friend, we'll call her Emily, transferred to the school. And we formed a friendship. Through grade 9 we had formed our own little friend group with 2 other girls, we'll name them Clara and Sabrina. It was the 4 of us through majority of high school. We would always text each other, always hang out after school, spend any break we had at school together and had as much fun as any girls in high school could have (minus the partying because my school is not a partying school).
Emily and I were the closet in the friend group, afterall we were pretty similar and come from similar backgrounds (We're both a type of asian). We both would be described as the smart kids. We both would end up getting high grades in all of our classes. In grade 9, when we met, she told the friend group her dream was to become a doctor like her parents were, so she studied extra hard in high school to keep her grades high. I, on the other hand, did not really have any specific dreams. I wanted to become a writer or even a lawyer (but was worried because I'm not the best speaker). Due to that, I never tried that hard at school. Like i care about grades, my parents cared a lot about me getting high grades, but I wasn't studying for anything. And with that I never really studied either, I would do my homework and pay attention in class and take pretty notes but I was not spending any real time after class to do work Which is something that Emily would do. She would spend hours and hours a day just studying. If she wasn't studying she would be doing some volunterring or some club stuff.
Fast forward to grade 11. Right from the beginning of the year something just felt odd about our relationship. She seemed distant. Which I chalked up to it being we were now considered seniors at our high school so she was starting to stress about universities already, but it was still whatever. My school worked in semesters, so for half of the year we would have 4 specific classes which would then switch to different classes in second semester. During first semester I didn't have any classes with any of my friends. I was just chilling in all of my classess and getting adopted into different group friends in those classes. I was always well-liked in high school, I was not a popular kid. But compared to all the smart kids in the school, I was deemed the nicest so because of that everyone would be nice to me and friendly (even though I know for some of them it was so they could get hw answers out of me, but they were still very nice to me).
During this time, my friends and I would make up plans to hang out. We always made it a point to hang out at least once a week outside of school. It was always after school, we would usually study, walk around or go to the mall. In our gc on insta we would always double check with one another on which days to do it. Clara, Sabrina and I would always talk in the gc and were always the ones initiating the plans. Emily was also in the gc but would rarely reply to anything. Any times we would make plans to hang out, Emily would either not reply (which would then lead us to asking her during lunch the next day if she was free, where she would barely talk) or she would just say no to all plans. The few times she would say yes, she would always cancel the day of. Which would be annoying, and Clara, Sabrina and I would talk amongst ourselves that we found it odd she would always cancel and never want to hang out outside of school, but we were like it's not that big of a deal. She could just be busy.
We then just ahead to my birthday. Now i have an early birthday and it falls around the time that we come back to school after the winter break. Now during the winter break, Clara, Sabrina and I formed a seperate gc as it would just be the three of us talking and making plans. We also always took so many pictures and felt bad about sending it into the gc with the four of us in it as we didnt want Emily to feel bad about not coming. So we figured it was better if we kept it seperate. But in the main gc, I just ask when is everyone free to do something small. I'm not really a birthday person. Since high school, all my birthdays include going to some cozy restauraunt with my 4 closest friends and just having a casual dinner. So I ask and everyone leaves their responses, including Emily. We decide on a day, it would be after school just a day or two after my actual birthday and we would be going to a restuarunt and an arcade nearby (I have strict parents so I really wasn't allowed to go out late or really go out anywhere far). The plan is made and everything is set. When the day comes for the dinnearcade, we all meet up by our lockers to go take the bus together.
The 3 of us are there waiting for Emily to come and she does just a few minutes late. That is when she tells us she can't come because she has a club meeting today, and she told us it was mandatory for us to attend. Now of course my friends and I tried to convince her to blow it off just this one time, but she was adamant about going. So, whatever. We say bye to her and start walking to the bus. While walking there we bump into a mutual friend, also waiting for the bus. She is also in the same club, so we confused why she was here. We do ask her, saying "hey isn't there something happening with the club today?" That is when she tells us there was just this small meeting recapping what had happened in last weeks meeting for the people who missed it. Meaning the meeting was not madatory at all, especially when Emily had cancelled our plans last week to go to this said meeting. Meaning she did sort of lie to get out of going to my birthday party. I of course was hurt by this. When she told us she had to go to the meeting, I didn't think much of it as I knew how much school mattered to her and how much doing this club stuff mattered. But she had the choice to come, and she decided to just blow me off. We went out and had fun and didn't bring the matter up with her. We figured it was just her caring a bit too much about school.
Anyways this whole cancelling plans last minute, ghosting the main gc thing happened more and more. It also got to the point where if I wanted to talk to her, whether that was through text or in real life I would always have to approach her first. As this carried on for a while, i of course was getting a bit annoyed about where this friendship was going.
We now get to Emily's birthday a month later. Now Emily decided to plan her birthday, very last minute. I am just pointing this out as i am not a person who can do spontaneous plans, one because i have this need to plan properly and two because I do have strict parents. So i can't just spring a plan on them the day of and expect to go. Which is something Emily knows. Anyways she makes the plan and i tell my mom about it to ask if i can go and she says yes. The day before, Emily then decides to change the plan entirely. We were going to go into downtown city (for context, it's roughly 2 hours transit from our neighborhood). I obviously had to ask permission as she wanted to stay out late which is not something my parents would like, so when Emily told us at lunch the change in plans, Clara, Sabrina I told her we had to double check if we can still go as we all have strict parents, but our extended friend group were all down to go.
After school, the four of us head into the bathroom, which is a toally normal thing for high school girls to do before we headed out. While there Emily then decides to start a fight with me about not going to her birthday, which hasn't happened yet. She starts yelling at me about how Im mad that she didn't go to my birthday and am not going to hers as revenge (I'll be honest, I kinda forgot she didn't go). And starts yelling at me about how I'm being a bad friend and frankly a b*tch. And when I say she is screaming at me, I mean there is the largest echo circling our bathroom as she yells at me. Now I'm just standing there, trying to reason with her. I'm just trying to explain to her that i didn't say i wasn't coming, i just needed to get permission to go, which is something that Clara and Sarbina said as well but Emily wasn't saying anything about them. She proceeded to just yell at me for a solid 5 minutes. Another girl did walk into the bathroom, saw Emily yelling and just left, which I feel bad about. I do not do well with someone yelling at me, so I just tell her that I'm leaving now and we can talk later. I practically run out of the bathroom and out of school. Clara runs up to me and says i can't go home feeling like this. I felt horrible, i felt like throwing up. So Clara makes it her job to cheer me up as Sabrina is trying to calm Emily down. Clara takes me to Mcdonalds, where we split a meal as that became a tradition of ours and she bought me ice-cream to make me feel better. We end up spending roughly and hour and half there before starting to walk back to our houses. I did feel a lot better and I was smiling. Clara didn't really say much about what happened as she knew it would upset me. She just said that Emily was being mean and left it at that. At some point during our walk, Emily calls Clara and starts screaming at Clara over the phone about choosing "my side". I only know it was Emily because I can hear her screaming through the phone and Clara is trying to be nice to her and say she was comforting her friend like a good one would do. Emily continues screaming and Clara just hangs up on her.
We don't talk about it. Now the next day, at school, is Emily's birthday. I feel so awkward. Because i'm still upset about what happened. When I see her, I'm not sure if I should wish her a happy birthday. I feel like I am owed an apology first. so i don't really say anything to her. and we don't really talk. Now we are in the same Chemistry honours class together and are lab partners. So we have to talk. I ask her, if we're going to talk about what happened. And she just says, no, it's my birthday. I just say really but she doesn't say anything after. So Im just like, fine, whatever. We spend the entire class in awkward silence, and I do not see her again the entire day. Even at lunch because she has a club meeting or something. Clara, Sabrina and I all agree that we don't want to talk about it. Clara got an apology text last night but she was still mad about being yelled at over the phone. Sabrina asked us if we wanted to know what her and Emily talked about yesterday but i said no. I was frankly too mad and knew if anything was said, I would be upset. Emily did not end up having a birthday party. and there is now an awkward silence between the 4 of us. it's like a horror movie, where the music is playing and you just know something bad is coming and you have to wait for it.
A few days later, I know i have to say something. I can feel that our friendship is hanging by a thread and I want my best friend back. So at lunch, while we're all sitting by our lockers I bring up the topic. I do not remember the conversation that took place. All I know was that Emily was practically screaming in my face, in front of all our friends (Clara, Sabrina and 5 of our other friends). Everyone is trying to get her to stop, but she keeps yelling at me. At some point I just start crying. Now this is the first time, that someone outside of my family, has ever made me cry. Its the first time I have ever cried at school too. The tears are flowing down my face as I just say "i'm sorry i cant do this" to the rest of our friends as i had off to the bathroom to calm down. Clara and one of our other friends rush off with me to try to calm me down and stop the tears. But they keep coming. I can't stop them and am now in the bathroom splashing my face with water and doing my best to wipe them all away. Clara, this other friend and i all have the same class next. So they have to literally drag me to class as I'm sort of paralyzed about whats happening. When we get to the classroom, everyone there, which was half of the class is looking at me and seeing my red, teared-up face. Our seats are at the very back corner of the classroom, on the very opposite side from the door. So i have to walk past the entire face as they all stare at me and wonder whats happening. the entire time im not really paying any attention. during little work periods in the class, my fellow classmates would walk up to me and ask if im okay. which i would say yes, i was even though i wasnt because what else could i say. I ended up powering through the rest of the day before going home and wonderign what to do.
In the secret gc, I text with Clara and Sabrina about what my next steps should be. They suggest we have an actual therapy session as a friend group to discuss if we even want to be friends at this point. I agree to this. I even start writing up my own speech I am going to tell Emily when i see her.
So I'm just going to jump ahead to whenever this happens. It's during lunch, outside on the grass field. I am calm, I know what to say and everything. I'm sitting there with Clara and Sabrina has to literally drag Emily out of school to come and talk. I kid you not. We have like an hour for lunch. It takes 20 minutes for Emily to finally show up. And she shows up like, "ugh what are we even doing here? im kinda busy" and just acts like there is nothing at all wrong. I start to calmly explain to her how ive been feeling the entire year. I do not remmeber the conversation. But what I remember talking about is how i feel like she's distant, she's always cancelling plans, im always the one texting her first, about how she gets mad at me for small little things, how she yells at me, etc. My whole speech was about how "i don't want to feel like sh*t for trying to continue this friendship". Because even after the first time she yelled at me, I just wanted an apology and we could move on and that didn't happen. And now Im just like I don't want to cry again and don't want my tears to come from someone who's supposed to be my best friend. She does argue her case in this. Her whole thing is how "i'm being clingy and annoying and controlling".
Now for her arguement, I think it should be known more about my persoanlity type. I am not the best people person. I have social anxiety and how that manifests in me is that i can't really talk to people that well. I don't know how to converse and get incredibly nervous to talk to anyone new. So when I do become friends with someone, I do latch on to them. I talk to them all the time, when i can, and they become my person. I think that is where the clingy party comes from. For the controlling/annoying thing, I can only chalk it up to me always texting her. Like i said, i would always have to be the one initating our conversations and plans. So our chats always look like 5 bubbles of text from me (because i am the person that types in multiple bubbles rather than one large text bubble) and her short responses. When it comes to plans, as I said i do not do spontaenous plans. I need to have them properly organized for both my parents sakes and my sake. I'm not someone who plans everything out minute by minute, I just need to know times and places. And if you are actually free.
Thankfully this time, Emily isn't yelling at me however she is talkimg a bit loudly. Now at this point we have spent 25ish minutes talking about this when she suddently gets up and says "i have to go otherwise i'll be late for my class and get in trouble". Which there is still 15 minutes before lunch ends. And her classroom is across the hallway from my next class with Clara. The walk from the grass field was literally 2 minutes. Our coversation wasn;t done. There was no convlusion and no real understanding on either part. So all of us get up as Emily starts speed walking and we all chase her. We're all telling her there is still so much time left, but she doesn't listen and still carries on. So then I say, "i don't want to be friends anymore if this is what it's going to be like". and she says "fine." and walks away. and that was the end of our friendship.
It was almost spring break and our friends were doing their best to navigate the situation. I think they believed we both needed time to cool down and we can all be friends again. However that didn;t happen. Emily and i agreed to be civil as we still had the same friend group but she never really hung out with us in the next couple days, or talked during lunch and that was it.
The two of us did not talk at all. The only times we did was in our Chemistry class, where she did the most un-civil thing ever. As I said we were lab partners. Anytime we had any lab, involing the microscope, I would always be the person doing the microscope work as Emily writes down the results of what I found. I would then get the numbers or obersations from her and add them to my worksheet as our teacher wanted us to work in partners but submit our own work. This one lab went off for too long and the bell rung. So as we are packing up quickly, I ask Emily for the numbers she wrote down. She said she's late for something and will send me the numbers later today. And I'm like fine. She never did. It was also a Friday so we went into the weekend and she never sent me anything. I did text her once on Saturday and another time on Sunday if she could send it. but she never replied and i just asked another classmate if they could send me their answers. If our teacher asked why did we as partners have different answers, I was going to tell him Emily wouldn't give them to me. He never did ask and that was the last time we really talked.
We then headed into spring break which ended up turning into the pandemic lockdown. Now I feel so bad when saying this, as i know this was a difficult time for so many people. But me as a 17-year-old high school studnet, loved the first few weeks of lockdown. I saw it as a mental health break as all the stuff that went down with Emily did in fact put me into a depression phase (I actually do have depression and i do end up in mini-phases where its really bad). The lockdown gave me time to breathe as it felt like i was holding my breath for so long and i could relax. Now in the fall, our school did a hybrid for our last year. Which was fine, it was weird but managable. Emily did not talk to me, Clara or Sabrina at all during our seniour year. We graduated and my friends and I had the best time we could under pandemic restrictions.
Current day, I (21) am now in university. Clara and Sabrina and I are as close as ever and have managed to keep our friendship alive and strong even 3-4 years outside of high school and while all attending different universities. We still hang out regularly (once every week or so) and text all the time. And would you believe it, Emily goes to my university. Remember, how I said she wanted to become a doctor. Yeah so her plan was to go to university in Toronto for some medicine thing. I don't really know. She didn't do that. Instead she stayed in our city and decided to do business instead. What am I doing, you ask? Also business. Now I know I can't claim a school, or a major or anything like that. But i can't lie, im a little annoyed that she decided to swtich her career path to the same as mine. Thankfully Ive only had one class with her and it was one of those big lecture halls so i didn't have to talk with her. Just seeing her tho reminds me of high school and i can feel my blood pressure rising and me sweating as all the nerves and stress come back.
Anyways Clara and Sabrina's birthdays are coming up. Their birthdays are within the same week so since high school, they've always just done one big combined party. The two of them are both really chill people, they are friends with everyone and anyone. So as their coming up with their birthday plans, they are thinking of their guest list and Emily is on it. Now, Clara and Sabrina did ask me beforehand if they could invite her. They do want to make sure I am comfortable. They both tell me that they don't really talk to her anymore, maybe once every 3 months or something. They also haven't hung out since high school. But for their 21st birthday they are thinking of inviting everyone from our high school friend group to have sort of a mini-reuinion. I am down for it, I do think i have moved on, in the sense that I know I do not want Emily in my life. I do tell them I will probably feel awkwad but I can manage for one night for their birthday.
As I'm telling my sister (F16) about Clara and Sabrina's party and who's coming, she asks me about Emily. She basically says if Clara and Sabrina are fine with inviting her, that means they have forgiven her for high school stuff, so am I not being a bit mean for holding on to my feelings? I am a person who believes there is no expirational date on any pain caused by a person. I should not have to "forgive and forget" a person, who has not asked for it and who caused me so much pain just because that is how the world has worked. But it go me thinking, am i being a bit rude?
So, two questions: AITA for what happened in high-school? (am i in the wrong for the friendship breakup) and AITA for not wanting to forgive her?
A FEW NOTES: (i'll add more when i think of it)
I have not spoken to Emily since grade 12. Not in person, not through people, not through text. We have had no contact with one another and i am fine with that. I do not want any relationship with her.
Clara and Sabrina are two of the sweetest people in my life. It does not hurt me at all they have the odd interaction with Emily at all. Afterall they do say its very minimal contact and the few times they have made plans with Emily included, they let me know well in advance, ask if its okay to invite her and all that. Each time I say its fine because I know Im in a good place to not feel bad.
I have never yelled at Emily. Nor have I ever spoken badly about her. With our mutual friends I might complain about the situation, but I never say anything bad about her. I should also say, Emily i don't think was well-liked. As I said the two of are good students, the smart kids, whatever else you want to say. However Emily is what would be described as a "teacher's pet" and does give off an arrogant vibe at times towards others. Some of my other friends/classmates would sometimes make comments about this to me, but i would always sort of downplay it. Like, oh that's not how she really is, she just cares a lot about school. A few times I would say the comments are harsh to some of the classmates. Her, on the other hand, has called me a controlling b*tch to several people. who have all told me about it. She did bad-mouth to quite a few people.
At some point in grade 11 (not really relevant to the main story, but might be part of the reason Emily's always made at me), but I was blamed for a rumour going around that Emily had a crush on this guy in our grade. Emily and I had to go to this one teacher's class for some notes or something. And in the class was this girl who I didn;t really like. So before we walk in I whisper to her, no one can hear, that "hey there's that girl i don't like". Emily then makes it so obvious that she is looking at this girl. And next to her is one of the popular boys in our class. Emily makes it so obvious that shes looking in his direction and does it a few times, that the rumour she likes this guy becomes a huge joke in our grade. She does not like this guy, never has liked this guy, but it is a joke that him and his friends carry on. This continues for the entire year, and Emily in our therapy session does mention this fact. She says its my fault that this joke has gone around. I don't see how.

I've recently been reflecting on my efforts at being more productive and started writing some longer form content to help structure my thoughts.
I wrote up the below in the past few days and wanted to share. Perhaps some of you have also found yourself hindered by an ongoing search for the ideal life path vs. just enjoy the journey.
Hope you find this helpful!
Despite your inflated sense of yourself, you are not, amongst all other humans, impervious to being brainwashed. This is a hardwired feature of your mind and a circuit that is operating at all times, if you allow it to do so. You aren’t being brainwashed in the cartoonish mode of being made to act like a chicken or empty your wallet. However, you are being brainwashed nonetheless.
Replace the word “brainwashed” with “influenced” and you may start to see my point. If you read me, you are not a fan of the influencers for stupid people (a la Andrew Tate) but perhaps you have more refined taste (Huberman, Attia, Ferriss, Jocko, Peterson, Newport). If there are any such personalities you are a fan of, I assure you that in your efforts to live a more productive, successful, disciplined life… you have been brainwashed.
I want to focus on how quickly the messages that you hear from these sources transition into “shoulds” that run in the background of your daily self-talk. These sources are an unending stream of great ideas for how you should wake up, how you should work, how you should eat, how you should exercise, how you should have sex, how you should meditate, how you should partake in leisure and so on. Notice that they don’t always come in the form of a statement that says “you should do x.” They may come in the form of “my typical daily routine looks like y”. Either way, your mind is primed and ready to sponge it all up.
If you were but a simple peasant farming in Ye Olde England six hundred years ago, your life was governed by a very rigid set of “shoulds”. There was the Bible, there were social norms, the rules of the king, and so. However, these were still a relatively manageable list of rules that one could live by, and it was not unreasonable to assume that you could mostly stay on the Righteous Path. Fast forward to the algo-influencer age and all bets are off. Open up any platform and within minutes, you’ll be bombarded with more “shoulds” than you can possibly keep in mind at once. This observation comes with no value judgment on the quality of what we are being told, I am only commenting on the volume.
You are wrong if you tell me that you are effective at curating the good stuff that will improve your life from the algo-influencer-Youtube-podcast-x regime. I know you think you are because, as we noted, you are a fan of the high class, refined content. The good stuff. The science backed stuff. Here’s the thing, once a source of information finds some sort of “resonance” with your subconscious, you are going to suck it all right up. All the great stuff you hear will immediately seep into your subconscious and become a constant quiet voice in the back of your mind berating you with a litany of “shoulds.”
Alas, you object - it’s all good stuff. Huberman has me locked onto managing my dopamine levels, Attia has me optimizing my diet, Dr. Zoidberg has me keeping limber, and Cal Newport is showing me how to live a deep life. I want to point out three problems with what is going on here.
Problem #1 - Your mind is not actually asking what end purpose is being served by adopting the idea that you “should” be doing a given thing.
Let’s cue Jocko Willink on this one. I am someone who, for many years, felt it was important to wake up at 4:30am because of… discipline. Why? Well, I must get up early to be up before the enemy and for freedom. I note that discipline is the ultimate meta-”should”. Discipline means getting yourself to do all the “shoulds” on your list. Can anyone tell me what outcome I’m missing out on by not partaking in a daily cold plunge, heat plunge, ice bath, or looking at the sun within 15 minutes of waking up?
Problem #2 - Even if you have a desired end goal, your mind is not doing a rigorous job of assessing whether or not a given “should” will get you there.
Most of us would like more control of our daily schedule in order to have more freedom and flexibility. The grindset types on Youtube, or on X have a common solution for us. I am not likely taking a huge leap in that one “should” you have picked up is something to do with entrepreneurship. Ok, have you really considered whether starting your own business will give you more freedom? Maybe it will… I just suspect you picked up this idea without really looking at the pros and cons.
Problem #3 - Even if you’ve been bequeathed a fantastic, grade A, “should” from someone… you’ve got more than you can handle already.
If a “should” that you heard on Youtube or read in a book resonates for some reason, your mind will take it up and start beaming you subconscious messages to do that thing. Your mind will also happily send you 10 of these at once. Are they contradictory? Who cares? I “should” wake up at 4:30, and I should sleep at least 8 hours with no alarm clock. I should also consider being a night owl creative type, and stay up late to grind if life demands it. Some “shoulds” probably aren’t even really defined to any precision. I should be more driven, more mindful, more dynamic. I genuinely feel all those impulses and can’t even begin to tell you what it would like to actually do them. Mr. Brain has no problem with cognitive dissonance, and will dutifully tell me to live up to all of these.
Let’s now talk about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden (as an aside, yes I also feel a “should” to be more religious, spiritual, and penitent). Well, really I want to talk about The Promised Land. I know you… you are the hard driving, disciplined type. You like to punish yourself for not living up to your expectations. Alas, you are on the verge of getting there. If you could just get a few days in a row where you nail all your “shoulds,” it will all fall into place. One perfect day will lead to the next and the next. Then, I’ll have made it. I’ll be in the land of enlightenment (and oh so productive). Fellow pilgrim, I’m right there with you on the Righteous Path.
Wait a second, something feels off. Did I say above that our mind will happily adopt any set of “shoulds” no matter how contradictory or ill-defined they may be? And, did I also say that I’m striving to get to The Promised Land by doing “All the Shoulds”? If The Righteous Path is the road that leads to The Promised Land, I’ve got some bad news for you. You are permanently off The Righteous Path. This, my friend, is why you constantly feel like you are not living up to your expectations. They are impossible - you never had a chance. It’s ok though - Jesus died for your sins and there is still a path to salvation.
Oh, but, I’m not ready for salvation, I want to rock on. Here’s what we’d all prefer to do when faced with that sensation of being off the Path. It’s time to hunker down, and go to war, and GRIND. Don’t tell me I can’t do it all. When fate whispers, “You cannot Withstand The Storm,” the Warrior Whispers, “I am the Storm.” I’m feeling chills (no really, it’s a great quote). That’s how we roll. We man up and get that shit done. Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if that worked you wouldn’t still be in the market for motivational content. You are still lost… no Youtube video is going to get out of the bottomless deep of the “should.”
Back to Jesus (gasp - you didn’t warn me this would be a borderline sacrilegious article). It’s okay, Jesus is fair game in the algo-world. This is that obnoxious pause point in a self help book where there’s a worksheet page and you are asked to write stuff down. Take 10 minutes and make yourself a list of all the “shoulds” that you are feeling at this point about your life. I’ll help you get going with some prompts: businesses to start, podcasts to create, books to read, daily rituals to adopt, food to eat/not eat, workout routine to start, races to run, people to call, projects to do. You get the idea.
More work for you. Now imagine your perfect day. I mean a day that checks all the boxes. I despise rap, but seek inspiration in imagining the productivity version of the Ice Cube hit, “It was a Good Day.” How would you spend your time? Think about it hour by hour, minute by minute. When do you wake up? What do you do after waking up? How much time do you spend working? What sort of work? What else do you do? Map it all out. Imagine this as a day where you fully control your schedule.
Are you still with me? Probably not. This is too many words for the internet and I’m asking too much of your lazy ass. You should be less lazy. See what I did there? Ok, next step. Map your perfect day onto reality. Take any of the days from the past week where you had real life commitments such as work meetings, errands, childcare and ask yourself how you would map this perfect day onto that reality. Where would the three hours of Cal Newport Deep Work fit? How would you wake up at 4:30am after being up late because your kid was sick or your friend from out of town was visiting?
My point is, of course, obvious. However, don’t underestimate what I am saying. I am not saying that you can’t always have your perfect day. I am saying you can never have the perfect day. You are imposing unrealistic expectations upon reality. This conflict has always existed and you had two choices: 1) Dig deeper and muscle through because you are failing as a person to be sufficiently disciplined, or 2) Accept that your “shoulds” were always impossible to fully satisfy, and try something different.
Here’s the last thing I want you to do for now. Go back to your “should” list from the first step and take a critical eye. I give you permission to cross out as many as you’d like. If you are unsure before you cross it out, ask yourself: Where did this idea come from? Does it help me lead a happier life? Do I even agree with the premise? When in doubt, cross it out and feel the freedom.
I’ll leave you with one last message - you are probably doing just fine. Are there improvements you can make in your life? Sure, we all can. However, you aren’t failing, you aren’t straying from The Righteous Path, and there is no Promised Land. There’s just the lower case p path, and that is alright.

I've recently completed my third year of computer engineering at UofT, and I wanted to share my thoughts on the courses I've taken. I hope this will be beneficial to incoming first, second, and third-year engineering students. My area of depth is 6 (Software) and my areas of breadth are 4 (Control) and 5 (Computer hardware/networks).
Difficulty: How hard it was to comprehend course material and/or complete practice problems accurately. Keep in mind that difficulty is subjective but I tried to eliminate personal bias and be as objective as possible.
Workload: The amount of work to complete outside of lectures (labs, assignments, homework, studying for tests/exams).
All engineers take the exact same courses in their first year first semester and similar ones in second semester. I took these courses in 2021 during covid so some information might be outdated.
First Year Semester 1:
APS100 Orientation to Engineering:
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: N/A
There is no technical material in this course. All coursework consists of Ethics analysis, creating a schedule for time management, creating your resume, and discussion board participation. During tutorials, the TA typically asks behavioral questions to the class and covers slides pertaining to engineering principles, the learning environment, test readiness, and related topics.
APS110 Engineering Chemistry and Materials Science
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B
This course blends elements of chemistry, physics, and mathematics, requiring lots of formulas and memorization. The assignments and online quizzes were moderately difficult. Not sure if he’s still teaching but Scott Ramsay was a really good professor. Really enjoyed watching his video demonstrations.
APS111 Engineering Strategies and Practices I
Difficulty: 3/10 Workload: 6/10 (Variable) Course Average: B
Students are organized into groups of 5-6 and are assigned the task of developing a solution for a client, following the engineering design process. Success in this course heavily relies on your team. Throughout the semester, there are several milestones where you need to submit large reports with your team, making it crucial to have capable teammates. Many teams resorted to last-minute cramming the night before each milestone (not a good idea). Additionally, there are two peer reviews, so make sure you contribute to avoid being perceived as an unproductive member. In most cases, you don’t need to worry about this though. You’d likely all be good friends by that point (and give each other a perfect review).
CIV100 Mechanics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: C+
The consensus among most students in my year was that this was the toughest first year course. It's incredibly calculation heavy, with questions that may appear straightforward in theory but require multiple steps to solve. Even a minor error can screw up your entire calculation process. The assignments are extremely time-consuming, and the quizzes pose significant challenges. I suggest you work in a group for the assignments. Furthermore, both the final exam and midterm were exceptionally difficult.
MAT186 Calculus I
Difficulty: 4/10 Workload: 4/10 Course Average: B
If you’ve taken IB or AP this course will be a breeze. Even without that background, it's still relatively straightforward. Very little on integrals, mostly derivatives, rates of change, and graphs. PCEs and WebWorks were trivial, and the midterm and exam were easy.
MAT188 Linear Algebra
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
The majority of the course revolves around relatively straightforward operations on matrices and vectors. However, it does introduce abstract concepts like higher-order dimensions, which may require some deeper thinking to fully grasp. Webwork assignments were slightly more challenging compared to MAT186's, and completing assignments took a while. Once again, you should work with a partner or as a group. Pay attention in the MATLAB practicals because you’ll be using MATLAB pretty often in future courses.
First Year Semester 2:
APS105 Computer Fundamentals
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B-
If you’ve taken programming in high school, you will likely find this course very easy (2/10 difficulty). The course covers simple programming syntax, along with basic sorting algorithms, without delving into more advanced concepts beyond linked lists and binary trees. I do know many people who struggled though. I think that this was one of the more enjoyable courses of first year. Edit: perhaps not as easy as I described. Make sure to get programming experience in the summer before first year if you don’t already have it.
APS112 Engineering Strategies and Practices II
Difficulty: 5/10 Workload: 7/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
This course is essentially a continuation of APS111, but with the added component of being assigned an actual client with a real-world problem statement. Each group works with a unique client, and at the end of the term, you present your final report directly to them, along with your supervisors. As with APS111, the quality of your team plays a crucial role in your success. Another thing to note is that unlike APS111, there were multiple individual assignments to complete on top of your team reports.
ECE110 Electrical Fundamentals
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: C+
Definitely one of the harder first year courses. This course marks your introduction to circuits. Topics covered include capacitors, Ampere's law, Ohm's law, Kirchhoff's laws, AC/DC circuits, magnetism, Thevenin and Norton equivalents, and more. The material is extensive and requires thorough understanding, as many future courses will build upon its concepts. Make sure that you understand the content well, given its foundational importance in subsequent courses.
ECE191 Introduction to Electrical and Computer Engineering
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 1/10 Course Average: N/A
Seminar course. You just need to show up to the lectures (one per week) and submit a 100-ish word report about what you learned.
MAT187 Calculus II
Difficulty: 6/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
The workload in this course is comparable to Calc I, but the content is more challenging (obviously). It delves deeper into integrals and introduces concepts like ordinary differential equations and polar coordinates. But again, you’ll manage just fine if you did decently in Calc 1, and especially if you’ve taken AP math or IB HL math.
MIE100 Dynamics
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload 4/10 Course Average: C+
I personally found this to be the most challenging course in first year, but it seems that most people disagree with me. It shares similarities with CIV100, but you’re instead dealing with dynamic systems (moving) rather than static ones (not moving). Some concepts may prove difficult to grasp initially. However, if you focus on memorizing the relevant formulas and understanding when to apply them, you should be okay. Expect an emphasis on physics in this course.
Second year was the worst (for ECE) and a very big step up from first year. If you struggled in first year, you better lock in for second year.
Second Year Semester 1:
ECE201 ECE Seminar Course
Difficulty: 0/10 Workload: 0/10 Course Average: N/A
Another seminar course, except you just need to attend 7/10 lectures to pass. Most students just scan their Tcard at the entrance then leave right after. The lectures are pretty useless except the Magellan one where they show you how to choose courses for 3rd and 4th year.
ECE212 Circuit Analysis
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course provides a deeper exploration of circuits, extending beyond circuit solving to include frequency and sinusoidal analysis. Questions tend to be long so careless errors will cost you. Personally, I found the labs challenging, particularly because they required working with oscilloscopes at a higher level than I was used to, and I could not for the life of me figure out how to use that thing.
ECE241 Digital Systems
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 8/10 Course Average: B-
This hardware course focuses on the foundation of hardware. A lot of the content is at the fundamental level so it’s not too hard to comprehend. However, the main challenge lies in learning Verilog, a hardware description language. I hate Verilog. All the labs are done using Verilog, and frustratingly, the course provides no instruction on the language, nor are there many helpful resources available online. This lack of guidance made what should have been straightforward labs much more difficult. Thankfully if you are in CE, you’ll never need to take another course with Verilog again. The midterm was easy but the final was borderline impossible.
ECE244 Programming Fundamentals
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B-
This course is the sequel to APS105, delving into more advanced concepts like pointers, constructors, polymorphism, and inheritance. Many of these topics may feel familiar if you have prior programming experience, particularly from high school. Consequently, if you're already proficient in programming, as many computer engineering students are, you should be able to navigate through this course well. The labs were generally manageable, although a couple of them were time-consuming.
MAT290 Advanced Engineering Mathematics
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload 8/10 Course Average: B
In this course, you’ll learn a lot of miscellaneous mathematical concepts that will be relevant in future courses. The goal is to establish a strong foundation to facilitate understanding in third and fourth-year courses. There is also a quiz every week. They were terrible from a time management standpoint, but as long as you spent 3-4 hours per week completing the assigned textbook questions, you should be alright since one (out of two) of the questions on the quiz is guaranteed to be an assigned textbook question (at least, that was the case when I took the course).
MAT291 Calculus III
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload 9/10 Course Average: B-
The entire workload comes from studying for those damn weekly quizzes, much like MAT290. Personally, I found it to be one of the most difficult courses I've ever taken. Think of calculus 2, but now everything is in three dimensions, encompassing concepts like surface integrals, flux integrals, and more. Additionally, the course introduces abstract topics that I still struggle to grasp. Balancing the demands of this course alongside everything else was an incredibly stressful experience.
Second Year Semester 2:
ECE216 Signals and Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload:7/10 Course Average: C+
I think everyone hated this course. It was so poorly taught and the midterms felt haphazard and unpredictable. I relied on the power of BS to pass (worked surprisingly). Other than working with many graphs and MATLAB, I don’t remember much about this course because it was so uninteresting.
ECE221 Electric and Magnetic Fields
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course serves as an introduction to fields, while also expanding on the principles covered in ECE110. Many concepts build upon intuitive ideas, such as the repulsion of identical charges and attraction of opposite charges, which can make seemingly complex topics less intimidating. There are also many procedures that you need to know to solve specific types of questions. The labs are generally straightforward. You just need to follow the steps on the lab worksheet and answer a few simple questions from the TA.
ECE231 Intro to Electronics
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: C+
This course is basically circuit analysis but significantly harder. It combines everything you've learned about circuits thus far, introducing new topics on top of that foundation. There are so many new concepts to learn and the final pretty much tests you on all of them. I’ve encountered multiple scenarios where I saw two concepts that I thought were completely separate from each other being integrated into a single question on an exam. Also very calculation heavy. Despite my experience in this course, I must admit Khoman Fang was a great professor.
ECE243 Computer Organization
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 6/10 Course Average: B
This course is a direct continuation of ECE241, and surprisingly, I found it a lot more enjoyable than its prerequisite. The focus is on Assembly language programming, which I found to be way more understandable compared to Verilog. Assembly operates at a fundamental level, so you’re technically working with the most basic building blocks in programming. The labs often involved seemingly simple tasks like counting to 10 on a HEX display, but the nature of Assembly meant that achieving this could require hundreds of lines of code. I appreciated these labs as they provided a refreshing change from the usual programming tasks. Final and midterm exams were relatively easy.
ECE297 Software communication and design
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 (Variable) Course Average: B+
Despite the demanding workload, this course was one of my favorites. The main project involved collaborating in teams of three to develop a geographical information system (similar to Google Maps). Unlike other courses where teams are assigned, here you have the freedom to choose your own teammates. Starting off, your team is given only the OpenStreetMap database, and the APIs, granting you complete control over your project's design, functionality, and optimization. Performance enhancement and pathfinding algorithms were key components of the project. It's crucial for all team members to contribute effectively for success in this course; And trust me, this is not a one or two person project. To succeed in this course, all three members must be doing their share.
Third Year:
They say that third year is the easiest year for ECE, but that depends on what courses you choose. For me, it was only slightly easier than second year but still significantly harder than first year.
APS360 Fundamentals of Deep Learning
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload : 8/10 Course Average: B+
This course felt fundamentally very different compared to the other programming related courses. If you’re unfamiliar with deep learning, the content can be overwhelming but the inner workings behind AI are both fascinating and challenging to grasp. Fortunately, much of the coding in the course revolves around preparing data, setting up AI architectures, and training/testing models, rather than building an AI from scratch. While the labs are manageable, the final project can be very time consuming, particularly as training a single model can require hours or even days. Regarding this aspect, make sure you start early. Both the midterm and final exams were quite difficult.
ECE302 Probability and Applications
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: B-
The first half of this course is very straightforward. Just an introduction to probability. The second half is where the difficulty quickly ramps up. Make sure you don’t underestimate the second half of the course. I made the mistake of assuming the material was easy after performing well on both midterms (midterms were very easy), leading me to neglect the final third of the course so I flunked the final. FYI, our marks were determined solely by the 2 midterms and the final.
ECE344 Operating Systems
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: B
This course had the most difficult and demanding labs I’ve ever seen in my life. They are due every two weeks and some of them took most students more than 15 hours to complete. I’ve seen people staying up all night in the GB computer rooms to finish these labs. One positive aspect of the course if Jon Eyolfson is your professor, is that all lectures are both recorded and live-streamed, allowing attendance in person, online synchronously, or asynchronously. But if you have Ding Yuan, good luck. I heard he is not only bad at teaching, but also makes you program an operating system from scratch. The course content is quite interesting and the Midterm and final exams were fair.
ECE345 Algorithms and Data Structures
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: B+
If you're one of those programming geniuses who have been doing Leetcode since like 3 years old, you’d have likely already learned all course content before you’ve even started the course. You could probably write midterm and final exams without attending any lectures. However, if you're not as experienced, attending every lecture, taking detailed notes, and staying focused is crucial. Personally speaking, some algorithms were incredibly difficult for me to grasp, while others were simple. Assignments typically include both coding and long-answer components, which can be time-consuming, but you can work with a partner.
TEP444 Positive Psychology for Engineers
Difficulty: 1/10 Workload: 3/10 Course Average: A-
This course overall was very enjoyable and a nice refreshing experience from the other technical courses. You go on excursions to various locations with your group and write reports. It's an excellent opportunity to expand your social circle and make new friends. If you aim for an A- grade (80-85), you can breeze through with minimal effort. However, achieving a higher grade (A or A+) would require significantly more work (like 5 times more, no joke), which is not worth the extra effort in my opinion.
CSC343 Introduction to Databases
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 10/10 Course Average: Unreleased
The content of this course is actually pretty interesting and is taught well. But the assignments were excessively time consuming. There are only three in total, but each one demanded such a significant investment of time to the point where I contemplated dropping the course altogether. You do work with a partner (going solo isn’t even an option if you want to complete the assignments) but even so, be prepared to invest 15-30 hours per person, per assignment (they also mark hard). Despite the workload, I do recommend taking this course because knowing SQL can substantially benefit you in the future. Just start the assignments early. On a positive note, the midterm and final were relatively straightforward.
ECE311 Introduction to Control Systems
Difficulty: 10/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: C+
This course didn't come with a heavy workload, consisting only of three labs and two midterms. However, I found the content to be very challenging. It felt like they condensed and combined every concept from every engineering math and physics course into one. Topics ranged from circuits and dynamics to Laplace transforms, matrices, Bode plots, and more. It didn’t help that Prof Scardovi didn’t record any lectures, has messy handwriting, and uses a damn chalkboard instead of modern technology like other profs do. The midterms and final were somewhat lenient compared to the lectures, but this course still ended up being my lowest mark.
ECE361 Computer networks I
Difficulty: 8/10 Workload: 9/10 Course Average: B
This course requires a lot of memorization compared to other courses. You’ll have to understand calculation processes but also memorize a lot of general knowledge about networks. A problem with this course is that some concepts that show up in tests are not adequately explained in lectures. By far the best way to study is to do past exams. Professor Valaee often recycles questions, sometimes even directly copying past midterms and finals (like he did in my cohort). Unlike other courses, there is no big assignment/lab for this course, but it makes up for it with quantity. There’s a quiz every week, a wireshark lab every 2 weeks, a programming lab every 2 weeks, and a midterm. The programming labs are already difficult by themselves, but this cumulative workload felt very overwhelming.
ECE472 Engineering Economics and Entrepreneurship
Difficulty: 7/10 Workload: 5/10 Course Average: B+
This is straight up an economics course, no engineering at all. You’ll learn about investments, equity, financing, and related areas. There are 4 quizzes throughout the semester, with quiz 3 (quiz 3 specifically) being by far the hardest (average in the 50s). Since you're able to bring your textbook to the quizzes and exam, my biggest tip is to write past quiz and exam solutions in your textbook, as there's a limited pool of questions, and new questions often resemble some kind of variation of past ones.
ECE421 Introduction to Machine Learning
Difficulty: 9/10 Workload: 7/10 Course Average: unreleased
While the course content itself may be challenging, surprisingly, the midterm and final exams were pretty easy. There's a slight discorrelation between the lecture material and what appears on the exams, but relying on past exams for preparation should be enough. The course leans heavily on mathematical concepts, much more so than APS360. The assignments were difficult and tedious but I recommend you work with others to complete it.
With that, I've covered my thoughts and tips for all the engineering courses I've completed. Transitioning into your next year in engineering, particularly if you’re transitioning from high school, can feel daunting. However, remember that you're not alone in this experience – many of your peers are facing similar challenges. If you need any more advice or have questions, feel free to reach out to me via DMs!

Is there any way or pattern to differentiate transitive and intransitive verbs. I'm still very much in the process of learning and when in my thoughts I'm trying to imagine how I will say this or that, I'm really struggling with which verb to use. Also I'm using few apps for expanding my vocabulary and they almost never specify if the verb is transitive/intransitive.

I am 17 and live with my mom, her partner and my grandparents. The only family member that knows I'm trans is my mom and she doesn't support me in any way. She has known for over 2 years now and despite our many "discussions" where I cried and begged her to change my name in school papers, she still hasn't called me in any masculine form even once (note: in polish, every adjective and verb you use towards another person has to be gendered, example: zrobił (masc for 'did'), zrobiła (fem for 'did'). Before I even came out, she once yelled at me and said she's ashamed to admit I'm her kid, just because on that day I wore a 'boyish' outfit. Now she uses arguments such as that I'm just insecure about my femininity, that it's because of my social anxiety, that I'm searching for something to blame my other problems for, that I'm a kid and I don't know what I'm doing, that it's because I "walked away from god" and other shit, she even asked me to go to a fucking EXORCIST. The only thing I wanted her to do was to change my name in school since I can't do it myself as a minor, I never even expected to be called by my new name by her, I knew that expectation was pointless. Over time, I stopped caring about or expecting her support, because when I'm 18 i'll just do everything myself. But that's the problem. You see, my family is very conservative, especially my grandparents. I've heard them insult anything even slightly "progressive" (note: if not going to church is progressive, then being trans is the epitomy of wokeness that they demonize so much) many times, they always called any queer people deviants, pedos, evil, degenerates, said that I'm "the devil's follower" when I defended the lgbt movement that was demonized by the tv at the time. They don't know I'm trans, and they don't need to with things as they are right now, but once I'll turn 18 and finally start medical transition, they will eventually know. Them throwing mean words at me when they do is not the problem, the problem is that it could geniuenly affect their health. Whenever I talked with my mom about it, she always emphasized that they cannot find out and that they could even get a heart attack. And I don't think she was exaggerating. See, if you live your whole life perceiving a certain thing as wrong, evil, spending years and years consuming political propaganda against a certain worldview that the thing is associated with, live in a bubble reassuring you that, yes, the thing is bad and you should never be that thing and then find out that your only grandchild is said thing, your reaction will be bad to say the least, especially if you're old and have health issues. It would really not be a problem if they just hated me as a queer person and wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, but I know they love me very much and they can't just treat me as any other trans person out there. They are a whole different generation with a different mentality and I know there's no way for them to accept those things, they don't need to, they don't need to accept me, but I don't want to cause them any actual mental or physical harm that finding out would bring them. At the same time, I don't want to keep being unhappy and living inside this female body just because of them, as bad as it sounds, I don't want to waste my whole youth waiting until they die to finally start living my life. The only person who supports me is my only friend who's trans too. I'm jealous of him, I feel awful for feeling that way, but feelings aren't something you can control. He's had his name changed in school only after 1 year of finding out he's trans. I've known that I'm a boy since I was 13 and still no progress in this regard. He's been treated as a boy by his class even before that change, and a teacher even went out of her way to offer him help just because he presented masculine and started calling him his name without the change in papers. In my case, some people in class do respect me, because I always introduced myself using my male name, others don't, I don't have any friends in class and I'm always included as one of the girls, the only teachers that know is one that won't call me using the male form in front of class, because "without permission from a parent, she could get in legal trouble", the other is my homeroom teacher who literally called me a boy on the very first day of high school when she had no idea who I was, but then she read my legal name and never adressed the topic ever again, even tho she heard countless times how I introduced myself with my male name. I'm glad that my friend is happy and I don't want to drag him down with me, but it doesn't change that I can't shake off that feeling of jealousy. My other friend said that "anime has fucked up my head" when I told her, and only started respecting it when I sent her a rant message about my life as a trans guy after she called me my deadname of social media. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me with a cis guy multiple times, he was so jealous of me being her boyfriend that he was beating me, started misgendering me despite being nice at the beggining and told me to overdose my antidepressants and kms. As a child, I've never been "boyish", I didn't like 'boys' toys, I've never liked sports, I've never had friends who were boys, I was a girly girl and that makes my mom conclude that I'm not really trans and makes even me have doubts, even tho for 4 years I've craved nothing else than having a male body and being seen as a boy. Every day I ask why I had to get gender dysphoria, it makes the whole life so much harder, I hate being trans, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, everything would be so much easier if I'd just be a girl.

I am 17 and live with my mom, her partner and my grandparents. The only family member that knows I'm trans is my mom and she doesn't support me in any way. She has known for over 2 years now and despite our many "discussions" where I cried and begged her to change my name in school papers, she still hasn't called me in any masculine form even once (note: in polish, every adjective and verb you use towards another person has to be gendered, example: zrobił (masc for 'did'), zrobiła (fem for 'did'). Before I even came out, she once yelled at me and said she's ashamed to admit I'm her kid, just because on that day I wore a 'boyish' outfit. Now she uses arguments such as that I'm just insecure about my femininity, that it's because of my social anxiety, that I'm searching for something to blame my other problems for, that I'm a kid and I don't know what I'm doing, that it's because I "walked away from god" and other shit, she even asked me to go to a fucking EXORCIST. The only thing I wanted her to do was to change my name in school since I can't do it myself as a minor, I never even expected to be called by my new name by her, I knew that expectation was pointless. Over time, I stopped caring about or expecting her support, because when I'm 18 i'll just do everything myself. But that's the problem. You see, my family is very conservative, especially my grandparents. I've heard them insult anything even slightly "progressive" (note: if not going to church is progressive, then being trans is the epitomy of wokeness that they demonize so much) many times, they always called any queer people deviants, pedos, evil, degenerates, said that I'm "the devil's follower" when I defended the lgbt movement that was demonized by the tv at the time. They don't know I'm trans, and they don't need to with things as they are right now, but once I'll turn 18 and finally start medical transition, they will eventually know. Them throwing mean words at me when they do is not the problem, the problem is that it could geniuenly affect their health. Whenever I talked with my mom about it, she always emphasized that they cannot find out and that they could even get a heart attack. And I don't think she was exaggerating. See, if you live your whole life perceiving a certain thing as wrong, evil, spending years and years consuming political propaganda against a certain worldview that the thing is associated with, live in a bubble reassuring you that, yes, the thing is bad and you should never be that thing and then find out that your only grandchild is said thing, your reaction will be bad to say the least, especially if you're old and have health issues. It would really not be a problem if they just hated me as a queer person and wouldn't want to have anything to do with me, but I know they love me very much and they can't just treat me as any other trans person out there. They are a whole different generation with a different mentality and I know there's no way for them to accept those things, they don't need to, they don't need to accept me, but I don't want to cause them any actual mental or physical harm that finding out would bring them. At the same time, I don't want to keep being unhappy and living inside this female body just because of them, as bad as it sounds, I don't want to waste my whole youth waiting until they die to finally start living my life. The only person who supports me is my only friend who's trans too. I'm jealous of him, I feel awful for feeling that way, but feelings aren't something you can control. He's had his name changed in school only after 1 year of finding out he's trans. I've known that I'm a boy since I was 13 and still no progress in this regard. He's been treated as a boy by his class even before that change, and a teacher even went out of her way to offer him help just because he presented masculine and started calling him his name without the change in papers. In my case, some people in class do respect me, because I always introduced myself using my male name, others don't, I don't have any friends in class and I'm always included as one of the girls, the only teachers that know is one that won't call me using the male form in front of class, because "without permission from a parent, she could get in legal trouble", the other is my homeroom teacher who literally called me a boy on the very first day of high school when she had no idea who I was, but then she read my legal name and never adressed the topic ever again, even tho she heard countless times how I introduced myself with my male name. I'm glad that my friend is happy and I don't want to drag him down with me, but it doesn't change that I can't shake off that feeling of jealousy. My other friend said that "anime has fucked up my head" when I told her, and only started respecting it when I sent her a rant message about my life as a trans guy after she called me my deadname of social media. I had a girlfriend who cheated on me with a cis guy multiple times, he was so jealous of me being her boyfriend that he was beating me, started misgendering me despite being nice at the beggining and told me to overdose my antidepressants and kms. As a child, I've never been "boyish", I didn't like 'boys' toys, I've never liked sports, I've never had friends who were boys, I was a girly girl and that makes my mom conclude that I'm not really trans and makes even me have doubts, even tho for 4 years I've craved nothing else than having a male body and being seen as a boy. Every day I ask why I had to get gender dysphoria, it makes the whole life so much harder, I hate being trans, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, everything would be so much easier if I'd just be a girl.

It's been a while since I've posted here (maybe 2 years?) but I'm back and ready to share a little something I've been working on with Corinian, my conlang. After being spread wayyy too thin over hundreds of half-assed conlangs, I thought it'd be nice to scrap everything and work on a conlang that's actually used in my main world's plot.
I usually like making posteriori conlangs, but you might be able to tell there's a sprinkle of Ibero-Romance in here. Either because I like the Ibero-Romance languages or its the sense of impending doom plaguing my mind as my Spanish final nears. Who knows, really.
Background: So, just a bit of background. Corinian is based off the Modern High Corinian variety, which descended from Early High Corinian. Between Early High Corinian and Modern Corinian, it's verb conjugation changed a lot.

• Proto-Coric (predecessor) > Early Corinian varieties > Modern Corinian

Early High Corinian made distinctions between person and put less of an importance on number, conjugating only for the speaker and the direct addressee while lumping everything else into a separate category. So, Early High Corinian made a distinction between 1SG, 2SG, and 3SG/3PL/1PL/2PL, but only for the present. The nonpresent tenses derived from subjunctive, nonfinite inflections, with only a very recent distinction between 2SG and non-2SG in the future tense.

Tense	1SG	2SG	3SG.M, 3SG.F, 3PL, 1PL, 2PL
Past	-in	-in	-in
Present	-a, -Ø (used in reflexives)	-us	-ra
Future	-ura	-urse	-ura

Above are only the perfective conjugations. Early High Corinian also had a set of imperfectives, as shown below:

Tense	1SG	2SG	3SG.M, 3SG.F, 3PL, 1PL, 2PL
Past	-uzèc	-uzèc	-uzèc
Present	-tèc	-tusèc	-tarèc
Future	-orèc	-orsèc	-orèc

The imperfective aspect was only used in the presence of specific adverbs. An example:

Eu pazia aubàgi-atèc. 1SG.NOM repetitively run -1.PRES.IMPFV /eu pazjɐ ɐubadʒɐtɯk/ 

Compared to the perfective (no adverb):

Eu aubàgi-atèc 1SG.NOM run -1SG.PRES.PFV /eu ɐubadʒɐtɯk/ 

Ultimately, the imperfective aspect would be lost and merge with the perfective in Modern Corinian. Simple stuff, but it gets worse so for the sake of my sanity I'll only be focusing on the perfective present in Modern Corinian.
Split-Marked-Nominative Alignment
The proto-language had a split-ergative alignment, but was corrupted in Early High Corinian so that certain verbs triggered a marked-nominative alignment while others stuck to the prototypical nominative-accusative alignment.
Generally, everything was prototypically NOM-ACC except for stative and reflexive verbs.

Person and Number	Nominative/Unmkd. accusative (ABS)	Accusative/Marked nominative	Reflexive
1SG	eu	qui	-co
1PL	fo	hom	-na
2SG	ma	ne	-ma
3SG.M	què	quèl	-clèi
3SG.F	qui	quèl	-clèi
3PL	bran	feis	-vis

I'll focus on using a 1SG subject/actor and a 2SG object.
Types of Infinitives
Early High Corinian had several "types" of infinitive suffixes that followed the phonological rules of the root. It also had fusional "reflexive infinitives" which denoted that the verb required a reflexive pronoun.

Infinitive type	Vowels/semivowels	All other consonants	/n/, /s/, /ʃ/, /z/, /ʒ/, /l/	/m/
Simple Infinitives	-rc	-rèc	-trèc	-prèc
Reflexive Infinitives	-rèlc	-rèlc	-trèlc	-prèlc

Reflexive infinitives have an "open" and "closed" form depending on if the verb has a direct object or not.
With Early High Corinian's alignment, TAM, and infinitive types in mind, I'll throw out a few examples of some typical patterns found in Early High Corinian. Then I'll get into how they evolve.
Verb Type Matrix
Early High Corinian does not have polypersonal agreement so there's not much of a difference between the conjugation of transitive and intransitive verbs. By "not much," I mean there still are minor differences between transitive and intransitive verb conjugation in Modern Corinian. I'll use a 1SG subject/actor, 2SG object, and look at three ambivalent verbs: distrèc "to want (protoypical NOM-ACC)," dirantrèc "to make blue (Marked-NOM)," and checrèlc "to like (Marked-NOM; reflexive)."
Root of distrèc: dis- /dis-/
Root of dirantrèc: diran- /dirɐn-/
Root of checrèlc: chec- /tʃek-/
Finite (Prototypical NOM-ACC; distrèc "to want")

Eu dis -a ne. 1SG.NOM want-1.PRES.PFV 2SG.ACC /eu disɐ ne/ "I want you." 

Finite (Marked-NOM dirantrèc; "to make blue")

Qui diran -a ma. 1SG.NOM.MARKED make.blue-1.PRES.PFV 2SG.ABS /ki diranɐ ma/ "I make you turn blue." 

Nonfinite (Prototypical NOM-ACC; distrèc "to want")

Eu dis -a dis -trèc ne. 1SG.NOM want-1.PRES.PFV want-INF 2SG.ACC /eu disɐ distɾɯk ne/ "I want to want you." 

Nonfinite (Marked-NOM; dirantrèc "to make blue")

Eu dis -a diran -trèc da ma. 1SG.NOM want-1.PRES.PFV make.blue-INF DAT 2SG.ABS /eu disɐ dirantɾɯk da ne/ "I want to make you turn blue." 

The "dative" da is only used with the direct object of a nonfinite ergative-absolutive verb. Da is only every used in situations like this, as the true dative rec is used more frequently.
Finite Reflexive (Mixed alignment; checrèlc "to like")

Qui chec-Ø -co ne. 1SG.NOM.MARKED like-PRES.PFV-1SG.REFL 2SG.ACC /ki tʃekko ne/ "I like you." 

You might notice here that the marked nominative and the prototypical accusative are both used here. Early High Corinian also has this third type of pronominal alignment.
Nonfinite Reflexive (Mixed alignment; checrèlc "to like")

Eu dis -a chec-rè -co ne. 1SG.NOM want-1.PRES.PFV like-INF-1SG.REFL 2SG.ACC /eu disɐ tʃekɾɯko ne/ "I want to like you." 

Part 1/? Done
Hopefully I've explained Early High Corinian's complex conjugation system well, and I'm happy to be back here conlanging again! I'll eventually go over how Early High Corinian evolved into Modern Corinian and the grammatical changes it experienced. See you soon!

I know this has been talked about to death, and the consensus seems to be that use of “oko” is either obsolete or at most restricted to the physical thing that is the eye. But indulge me: what if we expanded the use of “oko” as a content word? Specifically, what might it mean as an action word?
I feel like the intransitive “ona li oko” could be used to convey a sense of being awake or alert. In this way it can be distinguished from “lukin” — “o lukin” implies attending to a specific stimulus, while “o oko” implies a state of readiness or caution.
As a transitive verb, I imagine “oko” could carry the semantic sense of judgment — “mi lukin e sina” implies mere perception, but “mi oko e sina” could mean something closer to “I am examining you.” You could even modify it, e.g. “mi oko wawa e sina” for “I deem you to be powerful” or “mi oko pona e sina” for “I trust you.” Yes, some of this bleeds into the space occupied by “sona” and “pilin,” but it feels semantically significant.
Thoughts? ni li pona ala tawa sina la, o oko ike ala e mi a!

English: objective

1. contained in, or having the nature or position of, an object
   
2. outward; external; extrinsic
   
3. pertaining to, or designating, the case which follows a transitive verb or a preposition, being that case in which the direct object of the verb is placed. see accusative
   

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Translations

• Catalan: objectiu
  
• Esperanto: celo
  
• French: Objectif
  
• Galician: obxectivo
  
• German: die Zielsetzung
  
• Hindi: निष्पक्ष
  
• Italian: obiettivo
  
• Portuguese: objetivo
  
• Romanian: obiectiv
  
• Spanish: objetivo
  
• Swedish: mål
  
• Welsh: amcan
  

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Fill in missing translations @ https://wordofthehour.org/translations

wrapped; wrapping (transitive verb):

• 1a: to cover especially by winding or folding
  • b: to envelop and secure for transportation or storage : bundle
  • c: enfold, embrace
  • d: to coil, fold, draw, or twine (such as string or cloth) around something

Wrapped in vegetables: ssambap, banana leaf, bamboo leaf, chard and collard greens, bossam, endive, inarizushi (tofu), tamales and uchepos
Wrapped in meat: prosciutto, rouladen, caul fat, negimaki, porchetta (also wrapped in inedible stuff unless you like twine), devils on horseback, smoked salmon
Wrapped in fruit: mango, fruit leather
Wrapped in carbs (yay): shawarma or doner kebab, kathi (paratha) rolls, dosa, taquitos or flautas, rugelach, crepes and blintzes, lavash, en croute and wellington
Wrapped in dairy (good luck): cheese shell tacos
Wrapped in inedible items: lomo al trapo, compound butter, en papillote, deli-style sandwiches, bouquet garni
Wrapped in rapping: mom's spaghetti (again)
This list is abbreviated! Wrapped foods can be found across the globe. We all apparently like to walk with our food and bulk it up with extra structure. Props to u/ubiquitons and u/unthunktheglunk for the suggestion!

The War Scroll, also known as the "War of the Sons of Light Against the Sons of Darkness," is a unique text within the Dead Sea Scrolls that portrays an apocalyptic battle between the forces of good (Sons of Light) and evil (Sons of Darkness). This scroll provides insight into both historical and symbolic elements.
Historical Accuracy:
The War Scroll, while containing detailed military tactics and an epic narrative of the ultimate confrontation, doesn't explicitly reference any specific historical event or timeframe. Some scholars believe it could be a product of the community's anticipation of a future messianic conflict or a reflection of their own community's struggles against opposing forces during their time. Interpreting the historical accuracy of the scroll often involves exploring the context of the Qumran community and the turbulent times in which they lived.
Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:
The War Scroll goes beyond a mere description of a physical battle. It portrays a cosmic conflict between the forces of light and darkness, reflecting not just a literal warfare but also a symbolic and spiritual struggle. The text emphasizes righteousness, divine intervention, and the victory of good over evil.
Within the study guide, activities and exercises could involve dissecting the symbolic elements present in the War Scroll, exploring the deeper meanings behind the battle tactics and the metaphysical implications of the conflict. Understanding the symbolism could involve group discussions, comparative analysis with other ancient texts with similar themes, and exploring the impact of this symbolic representation on the community's beliefs and practices.
Here are a few activities and exercises to explore the symbolism and historical context of the War Scroll from the Dead Sea Scrolls:

1. Symbolism Analysis:

Provide excerpts from the War Scroll and encourage participants to identify and discuss the symbolic meanings behind elements like the "Sons of Light" and the "Sons of Darkness," various weapons, and the strategies outlined for battle. Group discussions or written reflections can help participants explore the deeper layers of meaning.

1. Comparative Analysis:

Compare the War Scroll's themes with similar apocalyptic or eschatological texts from different cultures or religions, such as apocalyptic passages in the Book of Revelation in the Christian Bible or apocalyptic texts from other ancient traditions. Create worksheets or discussion prompts to highlight similarities and differences in themes, symbols, and beliefs about cosmic battles.

1. Historical Context Exploration:

Present historical information about the era when the Dead Sea Scrolls were written. Discuss the political, social, and religious climate of that time, including the turmoil in the region, to understand how these factors might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll. Encourage participants to consider the possible motivations behind the text's creation.

1. Creative Interpretation:

Encourage creative expression by asking participants to create artwork, poems, or short stories inspired by the themes and imagery found in the War Scroll. This exercise allows individuals to engage more deeply with the symbolic elements and interpret them in their own unique ways.

1. Role-playing or Debates:
   Organize a role-playing activity where participants take on the roles of "Sons of Light" and "Sons of Darkness," debating their ideologies, motivations, and strategies for the ultimate battle. This exercise helps in understanding differing perspectives and interpreting the conflicts presented in the scroll.
   

Interpretative variations regarding the river's crossing in different ancient texts reflect the unique religious, philosophical, and cultural perspectives embedded within these narratives. These differences in interpretation offer insights into diverse worldviews and varying theological frameworks present in ancient texts:

1. Mesopotamian Context:

• In Mesopotamian mythology and literature, the Euphrates River often held symbolic significance as a boundary between the known civilized world and the wild, unknown realms. The crossing of the Euphrates could symbolize journeys into unexplored territories or transitions between order and chaos. This perspective reflects a worldview rooted in the physical and geographical division of lands.

1. Biblical Context:

• In biblical texts, such as those in the Book of Revelation or Old Testament prophecies, the crossing of the Euphrates carries eschatological significance. It may represent a divine intervention or a decisive moment in God's plan, marking the commencement of apocalyptic events. This interpretation aligns with the biblical narrative of divine judgment and the unfolding of God's ultimate purpose in history.

1. Gnostic or Apocryphal Context:

• Gnostic or apocryphal texts often interpret the river's crossing as a symbolic liberation or awakening. It might signify the release of spiritual forces or the ascent to higher consciousness, reflecting a philosophical perspective emphasizing spiritual enlightenment and liberation from material constraints.

1. Greco-Roman Interpretation:

• In Greco-Roman literature, crossings of rivers were often associated with mythological journeys or transitions between realms. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize a transition from mundane existence to a realm of mystery or spiritual significance, reflecting a cultural perspective rooted in mythology and cosmology.

These varied interpretations highlight the richness and diversity of religious, philosophical, and cultural frameworks present in ancient texts. The river's crossing serves as a flexible symbol that adapts to different narratives, conveying themes of transition, judgment, liberation, or cosmic transformation based on the unique perspectives of each tradition.
Exploring these interpretative variations allows participants to appreciate the complexity of symbolism within ancient texts and provides insights into how different cultures and belief systems interpreted common motifs like the river Euphrates. It showcases the intricate interplay between religious, philosophical, and cultural elements shaping the symbolism and theological implications embedded in these narratives.
The river Euphrates, a prominent geographic feature in ancient texts, embodies universal themes that transcend specific cultural contexts. Identifying these universal themes helps reveal shared human concepts of transition, boundaries, and transformative events across diverse ancient traditions:

1. Threshold and Transition:

• The Euphrates often symbolizes a boundary between known and unknown territories. Its crossing represents a transition from one state to another, signifying a pivotal moment of change or passage. This theme of crossing a threshold echoes the human experience of transitions in life, moving from familiar to unfamiliar realms.

1. Boundary and Separation:

• As a geographical boundary, the Euphrates signifies separation between distinct territories or civilizations. This concept of demarcation resonates with universal human experiences of setting boundaries, delineating spaces, or marking divisions between different aspects of life.

1. Transformative Events:

• Crossing the Euphrates is often associated with cosmic or transformative events in ancient texts. This universal theme reflects the human fascination with the concept of epochal change, cosmic upheavals, or moments of divine intervention that reshape the course of history.

1. Symbol of Power and Control:

• The river might represent a symbol of power, control, or geopolitical significance. Crossing it could signify shifts in dominance, challenges to established authority, or the assertion of influence. This theme resonates with human narratives of power struggles and shifts in societal dynamics.

1. Metaphor for Spiritual Journeys:

• Across cultures, rivers are often used metaphorically to represent spiritual journeys or quests. The crossing of the Euphrates might symbolize the pursuit of enlightenment, the passage to higher realms of understanding, or the quest for spiritual transformation.

These universal themes associated with the river Euphrates highlight fundamental aspects of the human experience—transitions, boundaries, transformative events, power dynamics, and spiritual journeys. The river's symbolism in ancient texts speaks to shared human aspirations, struggles, and beliefs that transcend cultural boundaries and resonate across different epochs and civilizations.
By identifying and discussing these universal themes, participants gain a deeper appreciation for the profound symbolism embedded in ancient texts and recognize the timeless relevance of concepts such as transition, boundaries, and transformative events in shaping human narratives and aspirations.

1. Historical Context:

• What historical events or societal conditions might have influenced the composition of the War Scroll?
  
• How does the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contribute to our understanding of this text's significance?
  

1. Symbolism and Esoteric Wisdom:

• How does the War Scroll use symbolism to convey spiritual or cosmic themes?
  
• What esoteric wisdom or deeper spiritual insights can be derived from the portrayal of cosmic conflict and divine intervention within the text?
  

1. Comparative Analysis:

• Compare the themes and symbolism of the War Scroll with other apocalyptic texts from different cultures (e.g., Book of Revelation, The Book of Daniel). What common motifs or differences in interpretation do you observe?

1. Parallelism in Biblical Texts:

• Explore connections between the War Scroll and other biblical texts. How does the language, imagery, or themes in the War Scroll intersect with passages from the Hebrew Bible or New Testament?

1. Community Beliefs and Practices:

• How might the apocalyptic expectations depicted in the War Scroll have influenced the beliefs and practices of the community that produced it?
  
• Discuss the impact of such intense anticipation of cosmic conflict on communal life and religious rituals within the community.
  

1. Cultural Significance of Cosmic Battles:

• Across various ancient cultures, why do you think depictions of cosmic battles and eschatological events were significant? What might these narratives represent in a broader cultural context?

1. Interpretive Variations and Unique Perspectives:

• Explore the diverse interpretations of specific passages or symbols within the War Scroll. How do different scholars or traditions interpret these elements, and what underlying factors might influence their interpretations?

1. Personal Reflection and Modern Relevance:

• Reflect on how the themes of cosmic conflict, righteousness, and spiritual warfare in the War Scroll might resonate in contemporary society or personal belief systems.

1. Theological and Philosophical Implications:

• Discuss the theological and philosophical implications of a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness. How does this theme intersect with broader philosophical inquiries or theological doctrines?

1. Literary and Symbolic Analysis:

- Analyze the narrative structure and symbolic elements present in specific passages of the War Scroll. How do these elements contribute to the text's overarching themes and meanings? 

These study questions aim to provoke critical thinking, promote in-depth exploration of themes, encourage comparative analysis, and stimulate discussions on the multifaceted nature of the War Scroll's content and its significance within ancient and contemporary contexts.

1. Archaeological and Linguistic Analysis:

- How does the physical condition of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, impact our understanding of their preservation and historical context? - Discuss the linguistic peculiarities or unique textual features found within the War Scroll and their implications for translation and interpretation. 

1. Apocalyptic Expectations and Messianic Concepts:

- Explore the portrayal of messianic figures or anticipated saviors within the War Scroll. How do these concepts align with or diverge from contemporary expectations of a messianic figure in other ancient texts or religious traditions? 

1. Impact of Apocalyptic Literature:

- Analyze the enduring influence of apocalyptic literature, such as the War Scroll, on subsequent religious, literary, or cultural traditions. How have these texts shaped later beliefs or inspired artistic and literary works? 

1. Ethical and Moral Frameworks:

- Discuss the ethical or moral implications of the cosmic conflict depicted in the War Scroll. How do the themes of righteousness and wickedness contribute to the text's underlying moral framework? 

1. Role of Prophecy and Revelation:

- Explore the role of prophecy and revelation within the War Scroll. How do the prophetic elements contribute to the text's portrayal of future events and cosmic justice? 

1. Experiential and Ritualistic Elements:

- Investigate potential ritualistic or experiential dimensions associated with the teachings or beliefs conveyed in the War Scroll. How might the community have engaged with these teachings in their religious practices or communal activities? 

1. Literary Genre and Interpretation:

- Discuss the classification of the War Scroll within the broader genre of apocalyptic literature. How does its classification influence our understanding and interpretation of its themes and symbolic elements? 

1. Relevance in Modern Scholarship:

- Reflect on the ongoing scholarly debates or discoveries related to the War Scroll. How have modern interpretations evolved, and what implications do these new perspectives have on our understanding of the text? 

1. Intersection of Faith and Scholarship:

- Consider the interplay between faith-based interpretations and scholarly analyses of the War Scroll. How might religious convictions or theological frameworks influence academic research and vice versa? 

1. Future Research and Interpretative Avenues:

- Propose potential avenues for future research or areas of exploration concerning the War Scroll. What unanswered questions or unexplored aspects merit further investigation? 

The composition of the War Scroll, along with other Dead Sea Scrolls, was likely influenced by several historical events and societal conditions prevalent during the time of its writing, which is estimated to be between the 2nd century BCE and the 1st century CE:

1. Hellenistic Rule and Cultural Influence:

• The region where the Dead Sea Scrolls were found was under Hellenistic influence due to the conquests of Alexander the Great and the subsequent control by the Seleucid Empire. This era saw a clash between Hellenistic culture and Jewish traditions, leading to cultural tensions and a desire to preserve religious and cultural heritage.

1. Political Turmoil and Resistance Movements:

• The Jewish people experienced political unrest, particularly during the Maccabean Revolt against Seleucid rule. This period was characterized by resistance movements, attempts to preserve Jewish identity, and fervent anticipation of a messianic figure to deliver them from foreign oppression.

1. Religious Sects and Spiritual Expectations:

• Various religious sects existed within Judaism, each with its own interpretations and expectations of messianic redemption, purity laws, and theological doctrines. The community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls, often believed to be the Essenes, likely had distinctive theological beliefs and a strong apocalyptic worldview.

1. Anticipation of Cosmic Redemption:

• There was a widespread belief in the imminent arrival of a messianic figure or a divine intervention that would bring about cosmic redemption, ushering in an era of righteousness and divine rule. This anticipation of apocalyptic events and a cosmic battle between forces of light and darkness is reflected in the War Scroll's themes.

Regarding the historical context of the Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery, its significance lies in multiple facets:

1. Preservation of Ancient Texts:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, including the War Scroll, provided an invaluable collection of ancient manuscripts that significantly expanded our understanding of ancient Jewish texts, religious beliefs, and the diversity of Jewish thought during the Second Temple period.

1. Insights into Jewish Sectarianism:

• The scrolls shed light on the diversity of beliefs and practices among Jewish sects during that time. Understanding the beliefs and expectations of the community associated with the Dead Sea Scrolls helps contextualize the theological and apocalyptic themes present in the War Scroll.

1. Confirmation of Scriptural Accuracy:

• The Dead Sea Scrolls' discovery contributed to confirming the accuracy and preservation of certain biblical texts, highlighting the continuity of textual transmission across centuries and supporting the authenticity of biblical manuscripts.

1. Impact on Biblical Studies and Scholarship:

• The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls revolutionized biblical studies, providing scholars with invaluable primary sources for studying ancient Judaism, the development of biblical texts, and the context in which these texts were composed.

The historical context of political upheaval, religious expectations, and the preservation of texts within the Dead Sea Scrolls contributes significantly to understanding the milieu in which the War Scroll was written. It provides a backdrop against which the themes of cosmic conflict, eschatological anticipation, and religious fervor within the War Scroll can be comprehended.