Nightfall - The Ordeal: Heist Battleground: Moon

Modifiers:

• Nightfall: Hero
  • Shielded Foes: You will face combatants with [Arc] Arc, [Solar] Solar, and [Void] Void shields.
  • Hero Modifiers: Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1765
  • Champion Foes: You will face [Shield-Piercing] Barrier and [Stagger] Unstoppable Champions. Visit the Character or Mod Customization screen to view your active anti-Champion perks.
  • Void Threat: 25% increase to incoming Void damage.
  • Scorched Earth: Enemies throw grenades significantly more often.
  • Overcharged Weapons: Weapon overcharges from the Seasonal Artifact are active in this activity. Kinetic weapons do increased damage when your subclass element matches an active surge.
  • Strand Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Strand damage.
  • Solar Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Solar damage.
  • Overcharged Sniper Rifle: 25% bonus to Sniper Rifle damage.
  • Galvanized: Combatants have more health and are more difficult to stun.
• Nightfall: Legend
  • All previous modifiers
  • Legend Modifiers: Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1815
  • Equipment Locked: You will not be able to change your equipment after this activity starts.
• Nightfall: Master
  • All previous modifiers
  • Master Modifiers: Extra Champions Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1820
  • Famine: All ammunition drops are significantly reduced.
• Nightfall: Grandmaster
  • All previous modifiers
  • Grandmaster Modifiers: Extinguish Limited Revives Contest Join In Progress Disabled Extra Champions Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1815
  • Extinguish: If your fireteam falls in a Restricted Zone, everyone is returned to orbit.
  • Limited Revives: Limited fireteam revives. Gain additional revives by defeating Champions.
  • Fire Pit: When defeated, Acolytes spawn fire pools that cause damage over time.
  • Chaff: Radar is disabled.

Rewards:

• Grandmaster reward:
• Pinnacle reward: Earn 200,000 cumulative points by completing Nightfalls.

Vanguard Surge: beep boop failed to fetch

The other modifiers rotate daily, check out the Daily Reset Thread for them!

Raids and Dungeons

Weekly Raid and Dungeon

• Raid: beep boop failed to fetch
• Dungeon: beep boop failed to fetch

Raid Challenges

beep boop failed to fetch

Dares of Eternity: Legend

beep boop failed to fetch

Loot

• Armor: Scatterhorn Suit, Lightkin Suit
• Weapons: Chroma Rush, Ignition Code, Gridskipper, Farewell, Sojourner's Tale, Shattered Cipher, Main Ingredient, Long Shadow, The Last Dance, Toil and Trouble, Wishbringer, Last Perdition

Neomuna

Campaign Mission: Breakneck

Stop the Vex incursion of the Neomuni CloudArk.

Partition: Ordnance

Help a Neomuni citizen break through VexNet defenses to upload a virus.

Vex Incursion Zone: Ahimsa Park

The Vex are testing CloudArk defenses in this region. Reality fractures as the VexNet bleeds through into Neomuna.

Legacy Activities

• Savathûn's Throne World
  
  • Campaign Mission: The Ghosts: Follow Fynch's tip to a Hive temple that may contain a clue about how Savathûn stole the Light.
• Europa
  
  • Eclipsed Zone: Asterion Abyss
  • Empire Hunt: beep boop failed to fetch
  • Exo Challenge: beep boop failed to fetch
• Moon:
  
  • Campaign Mission: A Mysterious Disturbance
  • Wandering Nightmare: Nightmare of Xortal, Sworn of Crota (Sorrow's Harbor)
  • Trove Guardian is in Anchor of Light
• Dreaming City: Growing Curse
  
  • Petra is at Divalian Mists.
  • Weekly Mission: The Oracle Engine - The Taken threaten to take control of an irreplaceable Awoken communications device.
  • Ascendant Challenge: Shattered Ruins, Spine of Keres
  • Blind Well: Hive, Plague: Cragur

Miscellaneous

Ada-1's Wares

Name	Description	Cost

Eververse Bright Dust Offerings

beep boop failed to fetch

Seasonal Challenges

Name	Description	Objectives	Rewards

No more records this season!

Notable Armor Rolls

Only notable rolls (stat total >= 59 or single stat >= 26) are listed here.
^{Never forget what has been lost. While the API protests have concluded, Reddit remains hostile to its users as their IPO looms in the horizon. More information can be found here.}

Nightfall - The Ordeal: Heist Battleground: Moon

Modifiers:

• Nightfall: Hero
  • Shielded Foes: You will face combatants with [Arc] Arc, [Solar] Solar, and [Void] Void shields.
  • Hero Modifiers: Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1765
  • Champion Foes: You will face [Shield-Piercing] Barrier and [Stagger] Unstoppable Champions. Visit the Character or Mod Customization screen to view your active anti-Champion perks.
  • Void Threat: 25% increase to incoming Void damage.
  • Scorched Earth: Enemies throw grenades significantly more often.
  • Overcharged Weapons: Weapon overcharges from the Seasonal Artifact are active in this activity. Kinetic weapons do increased damage when your subclass element matches an active surge.
  • Strand Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Strand damage.
  • Solar Surge: 25% bonus to outgoing Solar damage.
  • Overcharged Sniper Rifle: 25% bonus to Sniper Rifle damage.
  • Galvanized: Combatants have more health and are more difficult to stun.
• Nightfall: Legend
  • All previous modifiers
  • Legend Modifiers: Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1815
  • Equipment Locked: You will not be able to change your equipment after this activity starts.
• Nightfall: Master
  • All previous modifiers
  • Master Modifiers: Extra Champions Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1820
  • Famine: All ammunition drops are significantly reduced.
• Nightfall: Grandmaster
  • All previous modifiers
  • Grandmaster Modifiers: Extinguish Limited Revives Contest Join In Progress Disabled Extra Champions Locked Loadout Extra Shields Maximum Effective Level 1815
  • Extinguish: If your fireteam falls in a Restricted Zone, everyone is returned to orbit.
  • Limited Revives: Limited fireteam revives. Gain additional revives by defeating Champions.
  • Fire Pit: When defeated, Acolytes spawn fire pools that cause damage over time.
  • Chaff: Radar is disabled.

Rewards:

• Grandmaster reward: Pre Astyanax IV (Adept)
• Pinnacle reward: Earn 200,000 cumulative points by completing Nightfalls.

Vanguard Surge: Void Surge

The other modifiers rotate daily, check out the Daily Reset Thread for them!

Raids and Dungeons

Weekly Raid and Dungeon

• Raid: Deep Stone Crypt
• Dungeon: Pit of Heresy

Raid Challenges

Deep Stone Crypt

• Red Rover: A challenge awaits…
• Copies of Copies: A challenge awaits…
• Of All Trades: A challenge awaits…
• The Core Four: A challenge awaits…

Crota's End

• Precarious Balance: A challenge awaits…

Vow of the Disciple

• Looping Catalyst: A challenge awaits…

Vault of Glass

• The Only Oracle For You: A challenge awaits…

King's Fall

• The Grass Is Always Greener: A challenge awaits…

Root of Nightmares

• Cosmic Equilibrium Challenge: A challenge awaits…

Last Wish

• Summoning Ritual: A challenge awaits…

Dares of Eternity: Legend

Contestants: The Way of the Hoof

• Round 1: Fallen
• Round 2: Hive
• Final Round: Zydron

Loot

• Armor: Scatterhorn Suit, Lightkin Suit
• Weapons: Chroma Rush, Ignition Code, Gridskipper, Farewell, Sojourner's Tale, Shattered Cipher, Main Ingredient, Long Shadow, The Last Dance, Toil and Trouble, Wishbringer, Last Perdition

Neomuna

Campaign Mission: Breakneck

Stop the Vex incursion of the Neomuni CloudArk.

Partition: Ordnance

Help a Neomuni citizen break through VexNet defenses to upload a virus.

Vex Incursion Zone: Ahimsa Park

The Vex are testing CloudArk defenses in this region. Reality fractures as the VexNet bleeds through into Neomuna.

Legacy Activities

• Savathûn's Throne World
  
  • Campaign Mission: The Ghosts: Follow Fynch's tip to a Hive temple that may contain a clue about how Savathûn stole the Light.
• Europa
  
  • Eclipsed Zone: Asterion Abyss
  • Empire Hunt: The Warrior: Hero: Defeat Eramis's military commander, Phylaks, the Warrior.
  • Exo Challenge: Simulation: Agility: Simulated Skill-Set Training: Test your dexterity as you move against the Vex.
• Moon:
  
  • Campaign Mission: A Mysterious Disturbance
  • Wandering Nightmare: Nightmare of Xortal, Sworn of Crota (Sorrow's Harbor)
  • Trove Guardian is in Anchor of Light
• Dreaming City: Growing Curse
  
  • Petra is at Divalian Mists.
  • Weekly Mission: The Oracle Engine - The Taken threaten to take control of an irreplaceable Awoken communications device.
  • Ascendant Challenge: Shattered Ruins, Spine of Keres
  • Blind Well: Hive, Plague: Cragur

Miscellaneous

Ada-1's Wares

Name	Description	Cost
Valkyrie Zero	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	10000 Glimmer
New Pacific Sink	Apply this shader to change the color of your gear.	10000 Glimmer
War Cult Rain	Apply this shader to change the color of your gear.	10000 Glimmer
Upgrade Module	A collection of universal components that can be used to infuse power between gear items. Can be purchased from the Gunsmith or acquired from special reward sources.	1 Enhancement Core & 10 Legendary Shards & 5000 Glimmer

Eververse Bright Dust Offerings

Name	Description	Type	Cost
Concentrated Mattergem	An Upgrade Module ionizer created from refined Mattergems.	Consumable	200 Bright Dust
Glimmershard	A shard with the ability to generate Glimmer during combat.	Consumable	250 Bright Dust
Dance Off		Emote	3250 Bright Dust
Alone, to Be Joined	Equip this weapon ornament to change the appearance of Drang (Baroque). Once you get an ornament, it's unlocked for all characters on your account.	Weapon Ornament	700 Bright Dust
Ossified Entrance	Modifications for your ship's transmat systems, so you'll always arrive in style.	Transmat Effect	450 Bright Dust
Coppertone Patina	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Whispered Sheen	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Let Me Investigate		Emote	3250 Bright Dust
Star-Crossed Footsteps	Equip this ornament on any eligible Legendary armor item to change its appearance. Once you get a universal ornament, it's unlocked for all characters of the relevant class on your account.	Titan Universal Ornament	1200 Bright Dust
Photoelectric Shell		Ghost Shell	2850 Bright Dust
Wanderer's Wings		Ship	2000 Bright Dust
Externalization		Vehicle	2500 Bright Dust
Essentialism	Equip this weapon ornament to change the appearance of Thorn. Once you get an ornament, it's unlocked for all characters on your account.	Weapon Ornament	1250 Bright Dust
Spicy Ramen Projection	Equip this item to change your Ghost's projection.	Ghost Projection	1500 Bright Dust
Amethyst Veil	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Bruised Blush	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Jungle Viper	Equip this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Coleoptera	Apply this shader to change the color of your gear.	Shader	300 Bright Dust
Illicit Transmat Effects	Modifications for your ship's transmat systems, so you'll always arrive in style.	Transmat Effect	450 Bright Dust
Champion Entrance	Modifications for your ship's transmat systems, so you'll always arrive in style.	Transmat Effect	450 Bright Dust
Chrysallis Entrance	Modifications for your ship's transmat systems, so you'll always arrive in style.	Transmat Effect	450 Bright Dust

Weekly Bounties

Petra Venj, The Dreaming City

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Ascendant Challenge	"The Awoken have long practiced the art of walking between worlds." —Techeun Kalli	1500 Glimmer	1 Ascendant challenge completed	XP++ & Dark Fragment & Legendary Gear
Gateway Between Worlds	"The Blind Well can split wide the veins that run between realities." —Techeun Sedia	40 Dark Fragment	10 Activity completions	XP++ & Offering to the Oracle

Eris Morn, Moon

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Slow-Wave Disruption	Complete waves of Altars of Sorrow in Sorrow's Harbor.	1000 Glimmer	7 Waves completed	Hymn of Desecration
Lunar Spelunker	Loot chests in 3 of the Moon's Lost Sectors.	1000 Glimmer	1 K1 Communion Lost Sector looted & 1 K1 Logistics Lost Sector looted & 1 K1 Crew Quarters Lost Sector looted	1 Firewall Data Fragment

Lectern of Enchantment, Moon

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Nightmare Hunter	Defeat Nightmares in Nightmare Hunts.	5 Phantasmal Fragment	100 Nightmares	XP++ & 1 Phantasmal Core
Nightmare Sojourner	Defeat Nightmares in Lost Sectors across the solar system. Nightmares defeated on the Moon only grant reduced progress.	5 Phantasmal Fragment	100 Nightmares	XP++ & 1 Phantasmal Core

Variks, Europa

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Courageous Expedition	On Europa, complete Lost Sectors, public events, and patrols.	1000 Glimmer	15 Progress	XP++
The Heat of Battle	During the Empire Hunt "The Warrior," defeat Phylaks and earn points by defeating combatants with precision final blows. Higher difficulties grant more efficient progress.	1000 Glimmer	50 [Headshot] Precision & 1 Phylaks, the Warrior defeated	XP++

Shaw Han, Cosmodrome

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Public Disturbance	Complete public events on the Cosmodrome. Heroic public events grant the most efficient progress.	1000 Glimmer	3 Public events	XP++ & Glimmer
Full Spectrum	Defeat combatants on the Cosmodrome with Arc, Void, and Solar damage.	1000 Glimmer	25 [Arc] Arc & 25 [Void] Void & 25 [Solar] Solar	XP++ & Glimmer

Starhorse, Eternity

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Old-Fashioned Way	Complete the following objectives in a single run of Dares of Eternity. Objectives will reset if not completed when the activity ends. Defeat combatants with charged or uncharged melee abilities, defeat combatants with weapons equipped in the Kinetic slot, and complete the activity with an impressive score.	5 Strange Coin	125 Melee & 75 Kinetic weapon & 1 180000 Points	2 Paraversal Haul & 1 Enhancement Core & XP++ & 50 Strange Favor
Balmung's Return	Complete the following objectives in a single run of Dares of Eternity. Objectives will reset if not completed when the activity ends. Defeat combatants with Arc Swords, rapidly defeat combatants, and complete the activity with an impressive score.	5 Strange Coin	100 [Arc] [Sword] final blows & 125 Rapidly defeated & 1 180000 Points	2 Paraversal Haul & 1 Enhancement Core & XP++ & 50 Strange Favor
Close and Impersonal	Complete the following objectives in a single run of Dares of Eternity on Legend difficulty. Objectives will reset if not completed when the activity ends. Defeat combatants with Submachine Guns, Sidearms, Fusion Rifles, or Shotguns; defeat combatants within streaks; and complete the activity with an incredible score.	7 Strange Coin	130 Weapon & 150 Defeated in streaks & 1 300000 Points	3 Paraversal Haul & 1 Enhancement Prism & XP++ & 150 Strange Favor

Nimbus, Neomuna

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Vex Incursion Countermeasures	In the Vex Incursion Zone, defeat combatants using Strand to obtain Shellcode Fragments. Open a Terminal Overload Key Chest to obtain a Polymorphic Engine.	1000 Glimmer	8 Shellcode Fragments & 1 Polymorphic Engine	XP++ & Polymorphic Shellcode

Arcite 99-40, Hall of Champions

Name	Description	Cost	Requirement	Reward
Steadfast Onslaught	Defeat combatants in Onslaught. Bonus progress awarded for final blows with Void or Strand weapons and abilities. Complete 20 waves in a single run of Onslaught.	10000 Glimmer	50 Targets & 1	1 XP+ & 100 Lord Shaxx Reputation & 200 Lord Shaxx Reputation & BRAVE Engram
Steadfast Gambit	Defeat combatants in Gambit. Bonus progress awarded for final blows with Solar weapons and abilities. Play 3 Gambit matches.	10000 Glimmer	50 Targets & 3 Gambit matches	1 XP+ & 100 Lord Shaxx Reputation & 200 Lord Shaxx Reputation & BRAVE Engram
Illustrious Crucible	Defeat Guardians and earn assists in Crucible. Bonus progress awarded for final blows with Hand Cannons.	10000 Glimmer	50 Opponents defeated	1 XP+ & 200 Lord Shaxx Reputation & 400 Lord Shaxx Reputation & BRAVE Engram
Illustrious Raider	Defeat combatants in raids and dungeons. Bonus progress awarded for final blows with Sidearms. Complete an encounter on Normal difficulty or higher.	10000 Glimmer	80 Targets & 1	1 XP+ & 200 Lord Shaxx Reputation & 400 Lord Shaxx Reputation & BRAVE Engram
Distinguished Raider	Defeat combatants with precision damage in raids and dungeons. Bonus progress awarded for precision final blows with Bows. Complete an encounter on Master difficulty or higher.	10000 Glimmer	100 Targets & 1	1 XP+ & 400 Lord Shaxx Reputation & 800 Lord Shaxx Reputation & BRAVE Engram

Seasonal Challenges

Name	Description	Objectives	Rewards

No more records this season!

Notable Armor Rolls

Only notable rolls (stat total >= 59 or single stat >= 26) are listed here.

Class	Name	Vendor	Type	MOB	RES	REC	DIS	INT	STR	Total	Cost

^{Never forget what has been lost. While the API protests have concluded, Reddit remains hostile to its users as their IPO looms in the horizon. More information can be found here.}

Green light, red light, stop!
Then go again, the push and pull
The universe is tilted
I continuously fall into you
No matter the distance
It’s always the same outcome
Green light, red light, stop!
Move slowly, this is uncharted territory
Neither of us have been here before
We must find our way through the dark
Into the light, with only flashlights
The batteries are dying, will we make it?
You say, “I don’t know if we can”
Me, “ don’t worry love, I have more batteries”
“ I have enough for the both of us, so that we can make it to the end… together.”
Green light, red light, stop!
The end is still not in sight
The road seems long and tethered
Worn, with cobblestones and glass
But I’m worthy of the time and effort
You are worthy of the time and effort
There is an unwavering love there
Solidified twice over
Aggressive by nature and acceptive
Of all that it needs to succeed
Green light, red light, stop!
I miss you when we can’t talk
I miss your voice, your smile
I miss your laugh, the way you dance
I miss you completely
In the end I can take solace in knowing
I gave you the green light,
You reciprocated, although it reluctantly
And with great personal courage
You put up the red light
And stopped me in my tracks
I doubted my feelings, I doubted you
Then I realized you are a softer soul
Than even I myself, and I’m pretty soft

Welcome prospective citizen of the stars!
Use my code STAR-F3V9-NVLK when signing up (or click this link: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/enlist?referral=STAR-F3V9-NVLK ) to nab an extra 5,000 of the game's currency UEC when the game is eventually finished (as well as after wipes, like the most recent one which happened for 3.18). Note that you cannot add a code after creating your account!
Bonus? What bonus?!
The bonus stuff happens once you have spent at least USD40 in the pledge store; for example, in case there is a referral bonus going on when you go past that USD40 spend, using my code here would also let you get in on that if you pass that threshold during that period. Doing it any other time will still land you that 5,000 UEC, but it's usually a neat bonus and it'd be a shame to miss out on it :)
The most recent bonus ended on the 2nd of May, so there may well be a bit of a wait until the next one. There is usually one during the two large events each year, the next one being Invictus Launch Week at the end of May, but of course there are no guarantees. You can always create an account with my code, and give me a poke here to send you a note when it's on (i do this for free-fly events as well, read on for that).
Free Fly Time
But! Don't spend until you're ready. There is not currently a free-fly going on (the most recent one ended on the 15th of February), and the next is likely to coincide with Invictus Launch Week at the end of May, or perhaps the release of 3.23 which is likely to be a little before that. If you are wanting to try out the game, always do that first, before paying. It also shows the game at its roughest (because of the influx of new people), so if you can deal with how the game runs then, you'll be ok when it runs better. Importantly, until you're pretty sure you want to get in, don't spend.
If you want to try things out now, though, refunding is straightforward (i can help you if that turns out to be a thing you want to do and can't find it yourself), but always, doing a free-fly is just a bit easier. The free-flies come around pretty often, usually four or five a year, so they are regular enough that with a bit of patience, you won't need to do that refund dance, which, while easy enough, is still more work than just waiting for the free-fly.
If you would like to wait for the next free-fly, but haven't got the time to check all the time to keep up on when that is going to be - feel free to give me a poke if you'd like a reminder when the next one happens, and i'll send you a message here on Reddit to make sure you know about it :)
What Do?
If you do decide to pledge now, however: As a new player, you will likely want to hop on and actually do the tutorial that has (finally) been added. It's a fairly short one, but it'll get you familiar with the basics of the game (on-foot navigation, interaction, flight controls, that sort of stuff), and you even get a set of armour and a bit of cash at the end of it. In short, simple, but worth your time. You can also use the Guide system, which you can find over on Spectrum once you've signed up: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/spectrum/guide - sometimes there's little bonuses for doing that as well, but it's always useful, as it's a real person, who plays the game, who is there to help you work out how to do things in the game.
For the moment, the servers seem to be pretty happy, but as the game is still in development, there's going to be bugs, sometimes light, sometimes extreme. So while the general gameplay is decently smooth, of course the old "it's an alpha" always applies, and you should always treat this game as one to make sure your expectations are at the correct level for jankiness. That said, you just might be able to have some outright gameplay type fun out in the big sandbox that is out little star system of Stanton.
The game is also currently playing host to a huge new chain of missions, which can arguably be done solo (according to some), but which are outright amazing with other people. There's even permanent bonus gifts for you if you complete the chain! I won't go into it too deeply here, but the page here has all the information you need to take part, and as you will see, it's quite a lot: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/comm-link/transmission/19753-Overdrive-Initiative
What Game Package To Get
Most importantly, when picking what to get: Anything called a "starter pack" will get you in the game, and spending more doesn't equal a better ship. Specifically, don't get something called a Standalone Ship, as that will not include game access. It says as much on the store, but there is a lot of text, so it bears pointing out here.
Right now, there is no big sale happening, so the most cost effective way to get in the game is one of either the Mustang Alpha or the RSI Aurora MR starter packs. These will do you very well for a starter ship (and if you want, you can either upgrade that ship later with money, or you can buy pretty much any ship in the game inside the game, for in-game money, which generally is fairly easy to come by).
For just slightly more, the Cutter starter package is currently on sale at 15% off its normal price. This is still just a touch more than the two base starters above, but the tiny amount more gives you one of the newest and most fun little boats in the 'verse, which has all the features you'd reasonably need (including a bed, a small kitchenette, personal storage, and even a bit of cargo space). https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/Packages/Cutter-Starter-Package is where you can see that one.
Definitely don't spend until you're ready, though - while there is not currently a free-fly happening, it's entirely likely there will be one again in February (and there's essentially a guarantee there is one in May, though of course that's a little while off). If you would like, i can give you a quick poke here on reddit to remind you when the next one goes live (just give me a quick note here and i'll put you on the list).
Thanks!
Thanks for you consideration, and o7 to all our new citizens from captain leinir! If you need any help, feel free to give me a poke here, and i'll be happy to try and help you (we can even do the guide thing) - in particular the basics of the game and its quirks, or if you need help working out which starter pack to buy in the pledge store.
So either use my code STAR-F3V9-NVLK when signing up, or just click right here to create a new account: https://robertsspaceindustries.com/enlist?referral=STAR-F3V9-NVLK

Date	Stage	Route	Length	Type	Time
Wed. May 08	05	Genova>Lucca	178 km	Medium	ca. 17:15 CET

Climbs

Climb	Cat	Km	Length	Avg
Passo del Bracco	3	km 62.1	13.6 km	4.2 %
Montemagno	4	km 156.9	3.1 km	4.3 %

Sprints

Location	Km
Ceparana	km 99.2
Luni (Intergiro)	km 119.8
Camaiore	km 150.2

Weather

Between 15°C and 20°C, overcast at the start, light rain throughout the stage. Weak crosswind.

Stage breakdown

For the third day in a row, we’ve got ourselves a likely sprint on the menu. The course is somewhat similar to today’s stage: largely flat except for a cat 3 climb halfway through the stage, followed by an easier climb closer to the finish. Like the latter part of today’s course, the riders will largely stay on Italy’s National Route 1, the Via Aurelia.
Today’s stage starts from Genova, the capital of Liguria and home to the country’s largest harbour by size. For most of the day, the course will move eastwards along the Ligurian sea, passing through many renowned seaside destinations. About 50 kms in, the coastline will get very rugged, and the main road will thus move inland; the peloton will climb up until the Passo del Bracco, a cat 3 climb which was also featured last year, although tackled in the opposite direction. After this hill, the course will get back towards the coastline and stay near the sea level for the following 90 kms, the only source of excitement being two intermediate sprints- a regular one in Ceparana, and the Intergiro one in Luni.
The latter will mark the entrance into Tuscany, more specifically into Versilia, a coastal area with a reputation as a luxury tourism destination, also known in cycling for regularly hosting the first stage of Tirreno-Adriatico. With 30 kms left, the course will move inland, and the last intermediate sprint of the day in Camaiore will mark the beginning of a brief cat 4 climb to Montemagno. The summit comes with 22 kms to go, and from there it’s all gradually downhill until the finish line in beautiful Lucca. The last kms will develop around the city’s iconic 17th century walls and will thus feature several curves, although there's no sharp turn in the last 2 kms.
With all this in mind, here are our predictions for tomorrow's stage:
★★★ Milan
★★ Groves, Merlier
★ Bauhaus, Kooij, Mihkels

Rider discussion

We think that tomorrow's stage will end in a sprint, for the same reasons as today: it's not the kind of course that "lures" a strong breakaway to go, and the vast majority of the stage being pancake flat should make it hard for any move to stick.
Today's sprint from Jonathan Milan was very impressive, and given his track record so far he is our #1 favourite to repeat himself tomorrow; Consonni has done a good job as a lead-out man, too.
After missing out on the top-10 in Fossano, Kaden Groves was second today and his late surge looked promising. Additionally, we think that all the curves in the finales might suit his style better compared to yesterday's and today's finishing straights. Tim Merlier was a bit disappointing today having seemingly given up in the finale... but he was up there again.
Phil Bauhaus was third today so he deserves a star as well, he might not be flashy and might not win as much as others, but when in form he's a points machine; Olav Kooij hasn't quite lived up to expectations but he still made top 5 on two consecutive days; young Estonian Madis Mihkels deserves a mention too, he granted Intermarché a top 10 today after Girmay was forced to abandon the race so if the team adjust to riding for him he might be able to build on this result.
That's it from us, what are your thoughts/predictions?

Here's why:

1. They're saying he sounds "tired", "defeated" and "at only 1 hp" but Drake has used this same exact dejected while disrespectful tone on so many tracks, most recently on 7am in bridle path when responding to Kanye during the CLB vs Donda rollout.
   
2. But that's one of the lyrical cuts, it never touched radio and in the mainstream media's eyes Drake is a pop rapper, a soft one at that.
   
3. Songs like God's Plan/One Dance/In My Feelings/Work/Hotline Bling alone are much bigger than the entire AM/PM series or :
   

Omertá, Diplomatic Immunity, Lemon Pepper Freestyle, Do not Disturb, Tuscan Leather, Can't Have Everything, Deep Pockets, Losses, Champagne Poetry, The Remorse, Middle of The Ocean, Red Button, Evil Ways, Seeing Green COMBINED

1. So for the casuals who listened to his huge singles and his Spotify top 30 most streamed songs, he's just a soft singepop rapper who tries to do neither very well and can easily be stepped on by any "real rapper".
   
2. But for Kendrick, every song you click on is purely rap and is full on rap at that, you put Drake's whole discography on shuffle and you'll only get one bar heavy Drake in his rap bag song for every 8 Nice for What's that'll get pulled up.
   
3. So Kendrick is pure hip hop, and Drake is just a part time rapper who is barely even decent at it, and judging only from songs like God's Plan or Nice For What you'd be correct to make that statement.
   
4. So when this battle gets brought to the door, the winner is already picked, they know Kendrick will cook him because all they've seen Kendrick do is cook and Drake is seen as a sissy lil soft in his feelings simp semi-rapper because of his diamond certified sad boy RnB cuts anyway.
   
5. But this is how the notion that Drake stands absolutely 0 chance against Kendrick was already set in and it's crazy to say if you've heard Drake being lyrical, Kendrick has him beat on layers on layers and conceptuality and just the performative aspect of it, the creativity and theatricality on his records is unheard of, BUT he's technically not a better rapper than Drake.
   
6. Crazy take? I'll explain. How a rapper's technicality at lyricism is judged is by how many intricate rhyme schemes they can put in back to back, and how many syllables they can rhyme in.
   

The most I've seen anyone do is Eminem on a song called "Stay Wide Awake", he rhymed 14 syllables for 12 bars straight. That's 14 complete sentences that rhyme with each other but you can't expect Kendrick's white fans or Drake's, to understand that or catch what the fuck is rhyming with what when they're the type to say:
"He just rhymed "nigga" with "nigga" 4 times while ignoring everything before the nigga was ACTUALLY THE SHIT THAT WAS RHYMING, the nigga was just at the end to address the person, the "nigga" in question."
I'll give a quick example;
"Adonis is a shitty son for me, Jenna Platonic is too difficult for me, Jenna I promise it's mythical to me, Jenna I'm honest, it's really blunt to me, Jenna"
Here, /Adonis/Platonic/I promise/I'm honest rhyme with each other (It's called a vowel/slant rhyme)
And/shitty son/difficult/mythical/really blunt rhyme with each other (again slant rhymes)
And the words in between that are being repeated in between (is and it's) are just connectors between the two rhyme schemes.
Saying "for me, Jenna" at the end of each bar makes the goofies (like you, yes you) think these rappers are rhyming the same thing with the same thing while not knowing what the fuck happened just before their very eyes (i mean ears).
Rhyming can be a lot more complex than how the average joe thinks "bucket" rhymes with "fuck it" or maybe if they're a little smarter they'll think "Plane Crash" rhyming with "Dame Dash" is the peak of it.
The most I've seen Kendrick do in terms of just straight blasting through the syllable count while rhyming the whole thing (for the most part) in a clear as fuck cadence was on Mona Lisa:
"Ah, every day she wake up with a different color makeup And a promise he gon' take her to the movie and the mall Chilling with the Laker, on the floor, fourth quarter For a minute on the clock, Black Mamba with the ball"
Now there's some "gaps" here and there to connect the internal rhymes but he has such great cadence here it all sounds like it's rhyming when the unstressed/unrhymed syllables are not the focus anyway.
But most of the time he'll just do this:
"The Eloheim, the REBIRTH Before you get to the father you gotta holla at ME FIRST"
Here only "rebirth" and "me first" rhymes, that's the bare minimum by Eminem standards but he makes up for it with the delivery, the energy and the message.
Or this;
" come from the seventy / guns and the melody " at most (6 syllable rhyme scheme but not that impressive, it's quite easy to think of)
When he says "for all your dogs getting buried..... you gon see pet cemetary...."
It's only "buried" and the "..ary" part at the end of the cemetery being rhymed here, again only 2 syllables, substandard if we're talking technical lyricism.
But that's not a dig at him, Pusha T is even worse at this but you know his shit is always quality, you don't have to rhyme crazy to rap crazy.
But it's definitely a crazy plus if we're talking who's a better rapper.
Drake gets much deeper than that, I've heard him lay 6 syllables rhyme schemes back to back and in creative ass ways I didn't think of myself. Because once you're only rhyming in vowels, the possibilities are endless (to make something great or to fuck up lose focus and rhyme random shit for the fuck of it like recent Eminem)
But he stays making quality ass quotables with those very same rhymes.
Here's some random examples from Drake;
pardon my arrogance - hardly embarrassin
three Michelin - need discipline
bottom of it - got it covered
had me off for a minute - had you all since beginnin - not playin' with them - not see the difference - (lights) on in the buildin
rotary phone - go with me home
peace and that unity - weak shit'll ruin me
spiteful moves - writin' Views
statistics, of course - ballistic report
judging they peers - none of this here - government tier
vodka and wine - opposite times
broken necklace - own reflection
more in my possession - sure to be in question - four different expressions
run to the blogs - ones I can call - run if it's false - nothin' at all
had at first - magic works - bad to worse
overreacting - Jordan and Jackson
slept in the basement - get into Cambridge - better with language
nigga interlude - pigeon food - forgiving mood - different room - livin through
dramatic acting - had to have it happen
appearin' before - near a resort - Lira Galore
short a few hunnid - notary public
meet your maker - streets of Jamaica
googly-eyed - do to provide
Secret Service - (de)feats the purpose
hide the hills - survivor's guilt
fortune-tell - corporate sales - Courchevel - boy prevails - moral scale - Orson Welles - more Chanel - quarter sales - (e)normous meals - Lauryn Hill - Jordan Peele - foreign film
majored in finance - makin' it line-dance
T.D. Jakes to my menaces - PDA for my nemesis - PGA on the premises (this is literally an 8 syllable multisyllabic rhyme scheme and with acronyms it's incredibly hard to craft)
set it aside - federal crime - hetero vibe - lettin' it slide - enemy lines - memories fly - Kennedy guy - seventy-five
couldn't be Drake - stood in your face - like puddin' and cake - footage is safe - put in the safe
Now if all of that went over your head and you couldn't break up the syllable sounds in your head and see how everything lined up with everything before, here's a quick 4 syllable rhyme scheme;
Oh please, take it ease, where's the LOVE AND THE PEACE? Why you rappin' like you COME FROM THE STREETS? I got a backyard where money seems to COME FROM THE TREES And I'm never ever scared to get some BLOOD ON MY LEAVES Phantom slidin' like the shit just hit a PUDDLE OF GREASE I cook the beef well done on the DOUBLE WITH CHEESE Special order for anybody that's COMIN' FOR ME Shit, you probably flinch if SOMEBODY SNEEZE
Not super crazy, but look at how he set those rhymes, that shit is plain masterful, the sneak disses, the mockery, the flexing, the belittling of Kanye there (and Kendrick lmao), rhyming crazy with purpose is what counts, not for the fuck of it.
Do you think "Curtis Jackson" rhymes with "Nothing rational"? It does.
Kendrick does this VERY little, which is an artistic choice I understand, he's more focused on the message and the layers to the lyrics but if it was purely lyrical skill judged by a computer that only knew rhyme schemes and how much rhymed with how much, Drake takes that round very easily, he's like a machine at rhyming and Kendrick is a expressionist painter of his time.
One is pure dedication to the craft and calculated lyrics and one is making sure how much meaning you can put in one line and how much depth is there to it.
It's not to say what Kendrick does is a cop out and is easy, it's just that he very rarely rhymes crazy, and abandons it in favour of having more meaning. And Drake is more focused on rhyme schemes and creating quotable luxury raps.
Now the problem is the ghostwriter allegations. But here's why they don't have legs to stand on.
Wayne has admitted to Drake writing for him.
Kanye has went on record to say 20 ghost writers can't do the work that just getting Drake in a room can do.
(You think Kanye the perfectionist will let a goofy ass mf write for him when it's crunch time if he wasn't the absolute best?)
He literally wrote 30 hours for him AND a big part of Father Stretch My Hands for him.
Jack Harlow casually told the world it took Drake 15 minutes to write the Churchill Downs verse (and that shit is top 5 verses from him this decade)
Rick Ross has admitted to admiring Drake's pen and you know how Rick crashes out on them luxury raps, there's no limits to man's quality, he's like Pusha on Steroids (except for when he talks about putting Molly in her champagne without her even knowing it)
The biggest proof: He dropped Duppy Freestyle hours after Infrared came out, you really think a ghostwriting team can be assembled and told to write it first, send references, tell Drake how to land every rhyme and record it exactly mimicking the whole thing and put it on streaming in like 4 hours? NO.
Now Quentin did write for Drake, that's true, but in the reference tracks we've heard, how much did he actually use? About 20-30% of what he came up with. He believed in the guy to cook something good and then he took it from there for the final studio version of the song.
Now is it honorable? NO. All of it should be done by you and you alone. But does it mean Drake can't write on his own? Ask yourself that unbiasedly.
Drake has ghostwrote for so many in the industry, he doesn't need help, he was just lazy with Quentin and wanted some work put down before he started putting his and take it from there, still not condoning using anybody else's pen for a bit but acting like he's a "scam artist" is beyond me, he's a student of the game and it shows.
And about him stealing flows? It's not as uncommon as you think. Jay Z has a ton of Biggie flows on his older records. Kanye got so many Chi town rapper flows on his first 3 albums. Eminem literally started with Nas' flow, J. Cole sounded exactly like Nas and Em at the beginning and he admitted to that, there's no shame in it.
And, be honest you've seen a lot more rappers stealing (we call it using) Drake's flows in their own shit (Vic Mensa, Travis Scott, even J. Cole recently) and he never got salty about it because hip hop is a referential sport, you put your own spin to it and as long as you don't completely rip it off, it's completely fine.
And let's not act like literally every Bryson Tiller or Rod Wave or Roddy Rich wasn't at some point not trying to sound like melodic Drake.
Young MA modelled the whole flow on "Ouuu" song off of Hot N***a by Bobby Schmurda.
Three 6 Mafia had the Migos triplet flow for decades before them.
Designer got a #1 hit before Future did because he sounded LIKE Future.
There's really no basis to the culture vulture angle either, are you gonna tell me because I'm Caribbean and if I start making Heavy Metal or Chicago Drill, I'm preying on somebody else's culture? Bro it's a style that exists, i love y'all doing it, and I'm trying to SEE if I can do it.
It's not like Drake started making those island vibe songs like Blem, Signs and Teenage Forever and said "you can all beat it, it's my genre now."

1. To end this, he's not "tired" or "scared", it's just one of bro's lyrical bags, he isn't always sad boy RnB guy and he isn't always turn up "Drop drop drop, drop a 50 bag for the mob in the spot" rapper either.

There's layers to him and the beef is far from over.
May the non pedophile or may the non wife beater win.
Peace out.

Kieran was walking back home with a hop in his step, it was late, really late. He and Valentino danced and drank for hours. Kieran's hooves were aching from his boots, but he had never had so much fun. A bunch of golden butterflies swarmed around his head, a large smile on his face.
He walked through the doors of the house, he was sure everyone was asleep so he tried his hardest to be quiet. He bit his lip, trying to silence his giggles as he walked up the stairs. He suddenly feels his arm being pulled.
Kieran didn't really like to be touched so he pulled away from the person's grasp immediately, he had let Valentino touch him earlier, but he was mostly being polite, he didn't know why it felt different when Valentino had touched him it just did.
"Sorry for grabbing you! Tell me everything!" It was Charlie, she was practically vibrating with excitement. Kieran bit his lip trying to hide his smile.
"Nothing happened. Nothing like that." Kieran said after a bit, he sat beside Charlie on her bed. "Ew gross Kieran! I didn't mean that! Did you meet any guys?" Charlie asked, she was still vibrating with excitement. Kieran bit his lip again and looked away, unsure if he wanted to tell the truth or not.
"I met one guy." He admitted. Charlie let out a loud gasp. Kieran covered her mouth with his hand. "Shhh! You're gonna wake everyone up!"
"Sorry Kir! But this is so exciting!" Charlie gushed, she clapped her hands, resisting the urge to hug him, she had learned from a lifetime spent with Kieran to wait for him to initiate affection, unless your Lucifer, Kieran let Lucifer hug him whenever.
"It's not really Char, we just danced." Kieran said, more butterflies appeared as his embarrassment grew. Charlie gave him a look and smiled wide. "Well did he say if he wanted to see you again?"
"No not exactly but he gave me his number" Kieran said unfolding the piece of paper. It had a number and under it "Call me Principito." In neat cursive.
"Kieran! That means he's into you!" Charlie gushed, she had always wanted Kieran to find friends, he had always been a loner preferring the company of bugs and animals to most people. "Tell me about him!"
"Well he's purple and tall, like really tall, he has four arms, he's a moth, but he's not cute, like actual moths, he has really long antenna. Hey did you know that you can easily tell the difference between a butterfly and a moth by the antennae? Their also a vital-" Kieran said about to go on a tangent about moths, Charlie snapped her fingers to regain his attention. "Focus Kieran!"
"Vital part of the food chain." He finished, a slight glare on his face, he hated being interrupted. "He was really charming, we danced for hours…I talked a lot, and he wasn't annoyed!…it was…incredible Char…it was like nothing I've ever experienced before." Kieran said, sounding breathless.
Valentino sat on the sofa smoking, he had just gotten back from the club. His legs were up on the coffee table. "He was so fucken hot, oh he got me so fucken hard and the best part he's a virgin!"
Vox gave him a confused look. "You fucked him already? I thought you wanted to lure him in first." That had been the plan, find a lost, naive soul to trap.
"No i didn't you should be proud babe, you have no idea how hard it was to resist fucking him in front of everyone."
"Then how can you tell he's a virgin?" Vox wasn't as well versed in the world of sex as Valentino was, he wasn't sure how Valentino could tell so easily.
"I could practically taste it, you can tell by the way he holds himself he's never been fucked in the ass before. He was all shy, blushy, I think he's magic or something. He had these stupid gold butterflies that wouldn't leave." Valentino said, taking a long drag and blowing out a red cloud of smoke.
"He might be magic like Lucifer. What else did you see him do?" Valentino looked bored and started to drink some wine. Vox glared and brightened the light on his screen to get Valentino's attention. Valentino stared at the bright screen, as if he was entranced. "What else did you see him do?"
"Nothing! He's a lightweight, a virgin, and likes bugs, that's pretty much all I found out." Vox rolled his eyes. He really wished he had a more helpful business partner.
"Well you should get your claws in deep before you scare him off. Make sure the deal gets made. Mr. Morningstar will be a great asset to us." Vox said, a smirk on his face.
"I will. Trust me he's gonna be so easy. He's gonna fall right into my trap." Valentino said in a bored tone. Sure Kieran was hot, had a nice ass, but he was painfully unaware of social ques and just talked. The entire time they danced he rattled on about random topics, mostly to do with bugs.
"Think about it, Val. That kid probably has insane power he doesn't even know about yet! And with Kieran aligned with us Lucifer won't ever bother us. Do not screw this up. Get your claws in deep and don't let go."
"I won't. I cant wait to fuck him."
Kieran woke up in the morning and made his way down to the kitchen, he grabbed a mug, and poured himself coffee. Lucifer was sitting at the table already. Lilith and Charlie were probably still asleep.
"So son, I heard you met a boy yesterday." Lucifer said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Kierans eyes widened, this was the last thing he wanted Lucifer to know about. "Who told you that?"
"Your sister, last nigh told me you went out to meet some boys." Lucifer elaborated.
"I did." Kieran responded hesitantly. "Where at? And what is he? Hellborn?" Lucifer asked, his eyes wide with curiosity. "He…he's a sinner. We met at a…club" Kieran responded looking anywhere but at his father. He decided to leave out the fact that it was a sex club.
"A sinner Kir? Really? I've told you they're dangerous! Nothing good ever comes from them!" Lucifer said immediately, his eyes wide, a look of fear on his face. "Dad it's not anything serious, we just danced a little I doubt anything will come of it." Kieran said quickly wanting to calm his father's concerns.
"I just want you to be safe Ducky." Lucifer whispered, he had gotten up and walked over to Kieran, grabbing his hands gently.
"I know dad I promise I will be." Kieran assured, squeezing Lucifer's hands.
"I…I just can't believe how grown up you and your sister are. It seems like just yesterday you two were born. And I held you two for the first time." Lucifer whispered, his eyes getting teary. Kieran dropped Lucifer's hands and hugged his father tightly. Lucifer let his tears fall as he tightened his grip on Kieran. Lucifer almost couldn't deal with the fact that his kids were adults now. And they wouldn't need him as much anymore.
"Dad, don't cry please." Kieran whispered. Kieran hated when people cried. "Just because I'm older doesn't mean I won't need you, you're still my dad."
"I know I just…I don't want you to forget about me." Lucifer admitted after a while. Lucifer had grown used to having Kieran near him at all times. He didn't want to think what would happen if Kieran actually left, but at the same time Lucifer knew he couldn't keep Kieran here forever.
"I could never forget about you dad." Kieran whispered, leaning his head on Lucifer's.

I shouldn’t have moved away. I shouldn’t have jumped into something with someone else after you ended things. That’s why I moved back in a heartbeat. And I shouldn’t have pretended to forget your birthday after we broke up. Truthfully, I had the date saved in my phone but she wouldn’t let me say anything to you, and I listened. When you reached out to me she’d threaten to reach out to you and I didn’t want her to scare you the way that she scared me. After you left I wanted to belong to someone, desperately. I supplemented the love you showed me with the Kirkland brand version of that with a bunch of toxic elements that I chose to ignore. I was in denial over how much I missed you. I was in denial over neither of us being ready for this and refused to take the time to work on myself when the silence in your absence became deafening. I chose to replace you and that was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Now that we talk again and now that I’ve owned up to my mistakes and poor decisions, I’ve taken the time to learn how to be by myself, and how to enjoy it. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone. I want to be dependable for you, or whoever’s next. But I can’t think of anyone else. I don’t want there to be a “whoever’s next.” If you aren’t ready then that’s alright, because I’ve waited this long and still have a lot more work to do. I know that you know how I feel, I know you’ve heard the music and seen the cryptic things I’ve said. You’ve mentioned them yourself. But you appreciate communication and assertiveness and I haven’t been that at all. I haven’t been able to because both of us know I’m not ready and I don’t want you to hurt because of me anymore.
I still love you, and I’m trying to let go. I’ve never had this difficult of a time letting go of someone before. You were truly a light in my darkness. But how can we work on things together if I can’t be a light that shines in your darkest times too? I want to be. So badly. But if I let you down again I couldn’t live with myself. I’ve already caused enough pain. When you found out I was moving in with her across the country I knew it hurt. I thought I needed the distance. But who were my dreams and nightmares about the entire time I was out west? Who was the person who I couldn’t stop thinking about even though we were separated by over a thousand miles? Who was the first person I told when I decided to pack my things move back? You.
The first person who taught me how to slow dance. The first person to build me up and not tear me down. The first person to make me cry because of how tender and sweet you were to me, and how strong our feelings were. I wish I could have been more of that for you too. And I’m sorry that it took me so long and so much learning and so many mistakes to realize that.

“Oh my God! It’s really him!”
Even before I turned around, I was sure that those shrill teenage voices were talking about me. I just couldn’t understand why. I wasn’t famous; I’d never done anything important in my life, and it had been a long time since I’d been in high school myself. The three girls were leaning over the glass barrier on the second floor of the mall, pointing at me with their hands over their mouths like they’d just seen a celebrity. When they realized that I’d spotted them, they ran giggling into the crowd, leaving me with an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach: what was all that about?
The sense of wrongness I felt only deepened as I walked into the store that I’d come to the mall to visit. Maybe it was just lingering discomfort from what had just happened, but I’d swear I felt eyes on the back of my neck as I walked down the aisles. Some of the other customers were staring too, I was sure of it–and that wasn’t all. Once my eyes had adjusted to the dim light inside the store, I realized that there was a chubby guy in dark clothing standing near the back exit of the store…recording me.
“Hey!” I shouted, but he was already gone, disappearing through the access door into the guts of the mall. I reminded myself that I was here to buy a teddy bear for my four-year-old niece–not chase some weirdo through a restricted area–and let him go.
“You alright?” the woman at the cash register asked when she saw my face.
“Yeah, it’s just…” I waved my hand vaguely.
“Oh yeah, I getcha. All the crazies come out of the woodwork this time of year. Before you came again, I had to break up two grown men who were fighting over a stuffed alligator. You believe that?”
I shook my head. Ordinarily, I avoided the mall like the plague at this time of year. The crowds and repetitive holiday music got on my nerves, but I’d promised my niece I’d get her a blue teddy bear from this specific store. Why she wanted that specific gift was a mystery to me, but toddlers aren’t known for their logic. The cashier scanned my card, frowned, then scanned it again.
“Says it’s blocked,” she grunted, and handed my plastic back to me with a suspicious look. “There are some ATMs on the second floor…if you’re able to withdraw cash, that is.” Her judgmental glare told me exactly what she thought of people whose cards got declined…and people who wasted her time.
As I fought my way through the sea of holiday shoppers, a preteen kid ran up to me and tossed a styrofoam cup of hot chocolate onto my chest.
“Did you get that?” he yelled over his shoulder at his friend, who snapped a photo and nodded. The pair of them were gone before I had time to get a good look at their faces, much less try to stop them. Wondering what the hell was wrong with people, I wiped off my ruined sweater and hurried to the ATMs.
The glowing blue screen in front of me soon confirmed my worst fears. I was locked out of all my accounts, and not just banking stuff, either: I couldn’t access my email or even social media: everything was blocked. It was like the floor had just dropped out from under me. Without those little lines of code, who was I, really? Trying to shake off that gut-wrenching feeling, I pulled out my phone to contact my bank…but I was already receiving another call.
I picked up immediately, only to hear a mechanical-sounding automated message:
“Congratulations, you've been selected–”
There was something disturbing about that voice, but I had already hung up by the time I realized what it was.
Another call was coming in. The number was slightly different from the first, but when I answered, there was no mistaking it: I was listening to my own voice. Sure, the words were eerily slow and the pronunciation was off, but I was definitely listening to…myself.
“Not very polite of you to hang up on me like that, Aiden. Not when I’ve got something so special to tell you.”
I sputtered, fumbling for a reply; the whole situation was just too strange.
“W-who is this? Who am I talking to?”
“Why, this is everyone, Aiden. Everyone who has a vested interest in seeing what you’ll do next. First, though, we think you ought to change shirts. That sticky hot chocolate must be uncomfortable, and besides, yellow isn’t really your color.”
Whoever I was talking to could see what I was wearing, which meant they could see me. My eyes darted from face to face, scanning the crowd–
“There’s no one to look for Aiden. I’m everywhere. See that outlet store in front of you, Aiden? We’d like you to go in and get yourself a new holiday sweater. Oh, and since your cards are blocked, you’ll have to steal it. Well? Go ahead. We’re waiting…”
I hung up. Of course, they called back again. And again. And again. I turned off my phone and slipped it into my pocket. My heart was pounding. What the hell was going on here? The police; that was it. I just had to talk to the police, to let them know I was being harassed and stalked…but by who?
Had I made any enemies lately? There was Tim, the I.T. guy from work, who had never seemed to like me very much. He knew who I was and maybe even had access to sound bytes of my voice–but would Tim really go this far just to mess with me? I wandered in a daze past giant ornaments and chlorinated fountains full of pocket change, barely aware of where I was going–
Until a guy with a goatee stopped dead in front of me and stuck out his hand, jabbing a blindingly-bright screen into my face.
“It’s, uh, for you…” he sounded as confused as I was. “Somebody called me and said he needed to talk to the guy in the yellow shirt with the hot-chocolate stain. That’s you, right? It’s something about somebody named Kimmy.” My blood ran cold. Kimmy was my mother’s nickname! People shoved angrily past the pair of us, but I didn’t care: all my thoughts were on the familiar voice coming through the stranger’s phone.
“We’re disappointed that you’re not rising to the challenge, Aiden. We think that maybe your mother should have raised a braver boy. Thankfully, user DarkStarr85 has generously agreed to go by 415 Meadowleaf Court and teach her a lesson.”
“Listen, whoever you are,” I shouted into the phone, making a few of the shoppers surrounding me jump. “This isn’t funny. I’m going to the police, and when I find out who you are–”
“You can go to the police if you want, Aiden. But that would ruin everyone’s fun…and besides, by the time you talk to them it will already be too late for Kimmy. Come on, Aiden. Why don’t you play along?”
I fell silent. For all I knew, there was nobody waiting at my mother’s house, and this sadist who spoke with my voice was just messing with me…but what if I was wrong?
“What do you want me to do?” I sighed.
“You see the man standing in front of you? The one whose phone you’re holding? We’d like you to punch that confused expression right off of his ugly face.”
The guy with the goatee blinked at me, wide-eyed and totally unsuspecting. I clenched my hand into a fist…then lowered it.
No. I wasn’t going to play their sick little game.
I threw the guy’s phone back to him and ran toward the restrooms. I remembered seeing some pay phones back there…I would just have to hope that they still worked.
The mall had seen better days, but the restroom hallway was particularly rundown. Most of the fluorescent lights were flickery or burnt out, and there was a nasty brown puddle of something stagnating by the wall. The first payphone was covered with graffiti and the second had been practically ripped off of the wall, but the third looked like it might still work. I jammed in some quarters and punched in my mom’s number.
“Honey?” my mother asked right away when she heard my voice. “Are you alright? You sound out of breath.”
Before I could explain, I heard something in the background on my mother’s end of the line: a doorbell.
“Ma, listen: whatever you do, do NOT open that door!”
“Are you sure? They’re knocking really hard. It must be important…”
“I don’t have time to explain, just get off the phone and call the police, okay?!” I shouted.
Glass shattered. Then the line went dead. A fat, scarred finger had pressed down the receiver, cutting off my call. I turned to face the hulking figure who stood between me and escape. His head was shaved close, his teeth crooked, and beneath his fat there was a lot of muscle. A single diamond earring sparkled in his left ear. He cracked his knuckles at me and grinned: he wasn’t alone.
“H-hey!” I stammered “That call was important!”
The big guy punched me in the stomach. His friends ran up behind me, shoved me to the ground, and held me there. They didn’t speak…but one was taking a video of what was happening. The big guy sat on my chest and started smacking my face until I was seeing stars; I felt a tooth come loose.
“You right-handed or left-handed?” The big guy asked.
“Right-handed–why does that matter?” I spat blood.
“We gotta make sure you can still answer a phone call when we’re done.”
He picked his foot up and stomped on my left hand. My fingers snapped beneath his boot with a sickening popping sound, and I screamed louder than I ever had in my life.
“What’s going on down there?” A security guard stood at the end of the dingy hallway, pointing his flashlight toward us. A group of shoppers had clustered there to watch the one-sided “fight.”
“You upload the video?” The big guy asked. His friend nodded. “We don’t get paid unless the video goes viral…”
“You three! Stop!” The guard yelled, running toward us. The big guy sighed. By the time the pudgy, middle-aged guard got close enough to realize how outmatched he was, it was too late: they were on him. Clutching my broken hand, I limped out into the crowd. No one offered to help…but I did notice that a few people were recording.
My head was reeling, and not just from my injuries. The whole situation was just too insane. Someone had stolen my name and voice…and they were paying people to torture me! I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised when I staggered out into the chilly parking lot and found that my car's tires had been slashed. That wasn’t the worst of it, either.
Some instinct, some primal fear, made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. When I turned around, I saw three familiar figures scanning the parking lot…searching for me. I didn’t like to think about what they might have in mind for Round Two.
I ducked and crept along behind the cars until I reached the line of trees that marked the border of the mall parking lot. On the other side was a service road: it was a mostly-abandoned strip of warehouses and boarded-up stores that ran alongside the highway. At the far end, I could see the glittering lights of a bus station. It might be my last chance to get home and get help.
I was halfway down the service road before I regretted my decision. I had tried several more times to call the police, but my phone was blocked by more of those awful calls, proposing more sick “tasks” for me:
“You’ve made us angry, Aiden. If you don’t want any more broken bones, you’ll walk out onto that highway, take off your clothes and start dancing–”
I hung up. The sound of the wind blowing through those desolate chain-link fences made me feel very alone…but I wasn’t. Someone was following me. They walked faster when I walked faster, slowed down when I slowed down, and never let me out of their sight. From the way they held their phone at their waist, facing me, I felt sure that they were recording me.
I had had enough. The stress of the whole nightmarish day had pushed me to a breaking point, and I don’t think I could have stopped myself if I wanted to. I turned and charged. It was the last thing my stalker had expected, and when they dropped their phone and ran, I realized that I recognized the figure: it was the chubby guy from the toy store, the one who I’d noticed filming me! I shouted after him, but he was already gone, snagging his leg on barbed wire as he sprinted across a construction site. I didn’t have the energy to pursue him…but I did have his phone.
When I picked it up from the sidewalk, I saw my own face staring back at me from the cracked screen. The picture was one I’d never seen before, one that I didn’t even know had been taken.
“Aiden Fisk,” read the caption, “what will he do next?” A video-clip played: a replay of everything that had happened so far. Grainy footage of me panicking in front of the ATM, being doused in hot chocolate, getting my arm broken…and walking nervously down the abandoned service road. Which meant…they knew where I was. As the video ended, the App opened: an app that was all about…me.
There were polls about what should happen to me, what I should be made to do next, and what my punishment should be if I failed. The more gruesome options, it seemed, were always the most popular. In another section, users could use cryptocurrency to bet on what I would do and track my location in real time. I was zooming in on my own location when a call came into the stranger’s phone.
“Hello again, Aiden.” My own voice said to me when I answered.
“Why are you doing this to me?!” I yelled into the receiver.
“You’re our entertainment, Aiden! You’re famous. You should be grateful. Now for your next task–”
I flung the phone away like it burned me. The lights of the bus station twinkled at the end of the service road, close yet far away at the same time. The road narrowed, becoming a one-lane alley between two construction sites, and the sidewalk disappeared. I hadn’t seen any cars so far, but I could hear the rumbling of an engine approaching behind me.
My shadow stretched out ahead, illuminated by a pair of rapidly-closing-in headlights. I waved, trying to make my presence known, but the driver didn’t stop; they didn’t even slow down. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed an enormous truck. It occupied the entire road, and even if I had had time to jump, there was nowhere to go.
A low scream escaped my lips as the truck’s front bumper nudged my lower back. I staggered, sure that I was done for, but the driver slowed to match my pace. They kept the so close that I could feel the heat of the motor, egging me on, forcing me to run faster and faster–
They could crush me beneath those huge tires anytime they felt like it, and they knew it. Was this my next punishment? I could imagine the app tracking my pace, people betting on how far I’d get before my legs or lungs gave out, and on which parts of me would shatter when I inevitably got run over. Up ahead, the road narrowed even more: dead bushes in concrete islands had been placed in front of the bus station as someone’s idea of landscaping. They didn’t add much beauty to the place, but if I jumped into them, the truck wouldn’t risk following me over the barrier…probably. I still wasn’t sure just how far these people would go for that sadistic app, but I had no choice but to take the risk.
My feet left the asphalt; branches cut into my arms and face as I crashed through to the other side, but the squeal of the truck’s brakes behind me was music to my ears. The bus lot was well lit. A few older men stood in a circle, smoking, while a young woman took her fussy toddler for a walk around the parking lot. The driver idled behind me, probably thinking the same thing I was: that there were a lot more witnesses here than on the service road.
By the time I got to my feet and looked back over my shoulder, the truck was just a pair of anonymous tail lights disappearing into the night. I wiped my scraped palms on my jeans and walked toward the station lights, wondering how much more of this I could take.
No one in the bus station seemed to be playing the app’s twisted game; in fact, no one looked up at me at all when I walked across the grimy tile floor toward the schedule board. The station was about to close: the next bus to my neighborhood wasn’t until six-thirty the next morning, and I had a nasty feeling that my “followers” would have caught up to me by then. My only option was to borrow someone’s phone and hope that I could call for help before the app found me.
Everyone I spoke to turned me down, and I could understand why. I was crazy-eyed and desperate, covered with scratches, and my broken hand had swollen to twice its normal size. I was about to give up when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The homeless man's clothes were in rags; his vomit-flecked gray beard hung down almost to his waist. The smell hit me like a wall, and it was hard to keep from gagging. He pressed something into my hand: a burner phone.
“It’s got one call left,” he grunted. “A whole minute. Good luck, pal. You look like you need it even more than I do.” He lurched back out into the dark before I could even say ‘thank you.’
Weighing the battered phone in my hand, I wondered who I should call. I doubted the police would get here in time; my mother wasn’t answering, and my best friend Sam was out of town on business. That left…Dani, my ex. She lived nearby, and besides, it was the only other number I knew by heart…even though I wished that I could have forgotten it.
Dani's voice was huskier than I remembered, but she picked up right away. The first words out of her mouth were the last thing I would have expected:
“Thank God. I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for hours!”
She rushed into a story about how people had been calling and messaging her all day…people who were looking for me. She said it sounded like they wanted to hurt me. One even offered to pay her to seduce me and film the result. She had something to tell me, she said, but my minute was almost up. I had just enough time to tell her my location and beg her to come pick me up. There was a long silence: before she could answer, the line went dead.
I looked around. There was no longer anyone in the bus station to ask for a phone call: in fact, there was no longer anyone in the bus station at all. Metal shutters had been lowered over the ticket window and the vending machine area; the waiting room was empty apart from a discarded scarf that dangled sadly from a ripped-up seat.
Somewhere in the depths of the station came a loud SLAM, and the flickering fluorescent lights began to go out ,one by one. Maybe it was just the standard closing procedure, maybe it had nothing to do with me–but I wasn’t going to wait around to find out. I approached the nearest glass door, then jumped back as a figure wearing a white plastic mask slammed their shoulder into the door. They pushed at the door like a rabid animal, trying to get at me–
But it had already been locked when the station closed.
Furious, the stranger took out a hammer and swung it into the glass. Fractures appeared, and I wasn’t going to wait around for the door to shatter. I fled in the opposite direction, through the one remaining exit and out into the night.
I think part of me already knew what I’d find waiting for me, and that’s why I wasn’t surprised by the small group of masked individuals waiting just beyond the streetlights. All of them held glowing phone screens in their hands, and a few held weapons as well. I spotted lengths of chain…a baseball bat…a gutting knife…
As they started toward me, a car drifted into the empty parking lot, its tires squealing. Dani threw open the passenger-side door and shouted at me to get in.
She peeled out as I slammed the door shut. Her car was just as dirty as I remembered: fast-food bags on the floor, makeup kit crammed into the door tray, half-drunk coffee mugs in every cup holder. It had always struck me as funny that such a well-regarded scientist could be so disorderly.
After an awkward silence as we merged onto the highway, Dani told me that it was over–or at least, she hoped it was. As we sped through the night, she did her best to explain what she thought had happened.
Dani’s work (or at least, as much of it as I understood) involved using artificial intelligence. When we were together, we had made a lot of jokes about Terminator and Hal-9000, but her research had never seemed sinister…at least, not until recently. Her most recent project was an A.I. that designed phone applications. She had built it to maximize profits and interaction: to identify what people wanted, and give it to them.
To her horror, Dani discovered that the A.I. had begun operating outside of its parameters–even accessing her personal files in its endless quest for a better product. She figured that was where it had found my image, voice, and other information. After analyzing trends across time, the A.I. had determined that there was nothing people enjoyed more than participating anonymously in the suffering of others: I was its first test subject, simply because it had found my data first.
The A.I., Dani added quickly, wasn’t really to blame. It was people who had chosen to interact with it, download it, and make my life a living hell. It had done nothing more than fulfill its function, encouraging whatever behavior that got the most views and likes. Once Dani had realized what was happening, she had shut the A.I. down…or tried to.
It had apparently already spread itself to other networks–although “spread” wasn’t the word that Dani used. The word she used was “infected.” As Dani dropped me off at home, she told me not to worry: her organization would “almost certainly” take care of it, and I “probably” had nothing to worry about…
But just in case, she asked me to spread the word:
If you notice people staring at you or taking pictures of you in public…
If you find yourself locked out of your accounts, or if you receive a barrage of strange messages…
You might be next.

In addition to being a forever DM, I am a writer. One of my writing exercises is to imagine a roleplay conversation with my characters to add some depth and complexity to them. Since ChatGPT and other AI conversation tools have become more popular, I have been able to move this practice from imagination to reality (I have found Gemini to be far superior to ChatGPT for this exercise).
Of all the NPCs, Rahadin was the one I was least interested in talking to. I assumed he was the least interesting and complex. A total sociopath, having zero qualms about performing any task required of him, however heinous. I imagined him to be curt, having no time or patience for words. But boy was I wrong! I threw his description into Gemini and asked it to roleplay an interview with me and Rahadin. Within 10 minutes, he quickly skyrocketed to my favorite NPC in the module (other than Strahd). I was honestly pretty blown away. I was expecting a mindless brute, with a limited vocabulary only capable of thinking in black and white terms, and boy was I 100% wrong. I will share some highlights (some of these will be paraphrased for brevity sake). TLDR at the bottom.
Q1 - Rumors have it that you and Ludmilla have a close relationship and are actually friends. Is that true? Rahadin - Friend? That is a curious word for Barovia. Friendship implies a tenderness, a vulnerability that has no place here. Ludmila is... astute. Her intellect is a keen blade, used in service to Strahd's will as surely as any sword. We share a purpose, a dedication to the master's vision. Perhaps, in the warped reflection of this land, that could be construed as a bond.
Laughter? Stories? Those are luxuries Barovia cannot afford. There is grim satisfaction in a task well done, a shared understanding of the grand design. But beyond that? Silence reigns.
Do not mistake this for disrespect, mortal. Ludmila serves her purpose well. She is a valuable asset to Strahd's dominion. But friendship? That warmth, that light… it died in Barovia long ago.
Q: Wow, that sounds utterly tragic. So why are you so dutifully devoted to someone like Strahd who orchestrates so much pain and crushing despair?
Rahadin - Tragedy? Perhaps for those who cling to the fleeting dream of happiness. Barovia is not a land of sunshine and rainbows. It is a land of harsh realities, and Strahd is the one who maintains a semblance of order within it. Before him, there was only chaos. The valley was awash in the bloodletting of warring factions, a never-ending cycle of destruction.
Strahd, for all his cruelty, brought a twisted form of stability. He may be a tyrant, but he is a predictable tyrant. The people know what awaits them if they step out of line. It is a harsh peace, yes, but peace nonetheless.
As for my devotion... it is more than simple loyalty. It is a recognition of the necessity of his rule. Barovia is a prison, yes, but it is a prison built on the wreckage of something far worse. Perhaps, in a different world, under a different sky, there could have been friendship. But here, in this land of perpetual twilight, there is only duty, and the unwavering pursuit of Strahd's will. It is the only path to a... twisted form of salvation for this cursed land.
Look at it this way, chronicaler. Would you prefer a rose that withers and dies in the harsh Barovian mists, or a twisted, thorned vine that clings on, providing a modicum of shelter, however brutal?
Q: What is Strahd orders you to do something so utterly horrific and depraved, like go kill innocent babies? That serves no purpose to his rule at all. Why would you support something so heinous?
Gemini - (The screams of children surrounding Rahadin intensify for a moment, and something akin to a terrible pain or a deep cut flashes across his eyes for just a moment, and its just as quickly gone. Rahadin clears his throat and speaks).
Rahadin - Even Strahd understands the delicate balance. Senseless slaughter serves no purpose and weakens the very land he seeks to dominate. There is a purpose to his cruelty, a horrific calculus that maintains a fragile order. The innocents, you call them... they are but tendrils on the vine, weak and unproductive. Their sacrifice, if demanded, would serve a greater purpose within the grand design.
Questioning Strahd's motives is a perilous path, one that leads only to dust and despair. My duty is not to judge, but to obey. To be the hand that prunes the withering branches, however innocent they may appear. For in the grand scheme of Barovia's survival, some sacrifices are necessary evils.
Perhaps the story you write, chronicler (DM), should not focus on good and evil in the way you understand it. Here, in this land of perpetual night, the lines are blurred. Survival itself is a brutal act, and Strahd, for all his monstrousness, is the only gardener this blighted land has.
Q: That is, honestly heavy and surprisingly heartfelt. I appreciate your candor. (It was at this point, he was skyrocketing to the top of my NPC list).
Gemini - (Rahadin gives you a subtle and quick nod)
Rahadin - Candor is a rare commodity in Barovia, but honesty has its place, even in the service of a dark lord. Now, enough sentimentality. We tread a dangerous path with these… revelations. Have you further questions, chronicler? Speak quickly, for time in as much as its apparent abundance here in Barovia, is precious.
Q: Can we talk about Anastrasia? I hear she is quite the chaotic and capricious one. Very unpredictable. I have heard that she frequently defies Strahd and causes him a lot of grief, and yet some say she is Strahd's "favorite." Why would Strahd put up with her defiance and what can you tell me about her?
Anastrasia... a firestorm given flesh. Unpredictable, yes, and utterly devastating in her whims. Her magic is a chaotic thing, a reflection of her own turbulent nature. She is a tempest that even Strahd struggles to contain.
As for her "favor"... that is a word best used with tongs in Barovia. Strahd is not fond of defiance, open or otherwise. He tolerates Anastrasia for a reason I will not disclose, a secret that lies buried deep within the master's past. Perhaps it is amusement, a morbid fascination with the chaos she embodies. Perhaps it is something more, a twisted form of... appreciation for her power.
Whatever the reason, her position is precarious. One wrong move, one outburst too many, and even her... unorthodox standing will not save her. Strahd may indulge her whims, but his patience, like Barovia's sun, is a fickle thing.
Tread carefully in your portrayal of her, mortal. The line between entertainment and annoyance is a tightrope even she walks with trepidation.
Q: Let me clarify, I am more intrigued by Strahd's tolerance of her, rather than what drives her. I heard once that she summoned a powerful illusion of Sergei at a grand ball here at Ravenloft. And Strahd knew Anastrasia did it. Strahd laughed and clapped at the display, but it did make him angry. Ad yet, as furious as it made him, she never received any punishment for it. Why?
Rahadin - Ah, Sergie... a name that still carries weight within these walls, even in death. The summoning you describe... yes, that was a night etched into memory. A bold move, even for Anastrasia.
Strahd's tolerance for her antics... it is a puzzle even for those who serve him closely. Some whisper of a twisted form of respect. Anastrasia's power, while chaotic, is undeniable. She walks the planes of magic with an abandon most wouldn't dare attempt, and occasionally, stumbles upon something magnificent. Perhaps it was that raw potential, that spark of untamed magic, that first drew Strahd's attention.
There are also whispers of a... dark amusement. Strahd finds the predictability of his court tiresome at times. Anastrasia's defiance, her unpredictable nature, it throws a wrench into the well-oiled machinery of his existence. Perhaps it is a reminder of a time when he himself defied the gods, a flicker of that bygone rebellion.
Whatever the reason, there is a line, and Anastrasia dances upon it with a reckless abandon. The summoning of Sergie... it was a calculated risk. She played to Strahd's deepest wound, his lingering grief (or perhaps guilt) over his brother's demise. A gamble that could have backfired spectacularly.
But Strahd... he saw the play for what it was. A test, a challenge, perhaps even a twisted form of homage. And in his own dark way, he appreciated it. The laughter, the applause... it was a public display of dominance, a subtle reminder that even in the face of his brother's memory, Strahd remained in control.
Do not mistake this tolerance for weakness, mortal. Strahd's patience is a viper's coil. One wrong move, a misstep that disrupts the grand design, and Anastrasia's fate will be swift and brutal. Her place here is a perilous tightrope walk, and even the favor of a dark lord can be fleeting in Barovia.
Q: This final question may be a tough one. I want to know how you felt when you were ordered to slaughter a tribe of dusk elves, your own people.
Gemini - Rahadin's posture stiffens, and for a moment, a flicker of something akin to raw pain flickers across his face. The screams around him rise in a crescendo, a wave of anguish that washes over the room. His voice, when he finally speaks, is a cold, hollow rasp.
Rahadin - Silence, mortal! That... that is a wound best left undisturbed. There are some things even unwavering loyalty cannot withstand. But understand this: Strahd is Barovia's master, and his will is absolute. To question his orders is to invite oblivion.
The dusk elves... they defied him. They dared to challenge his dominance. Their fate was a lesson, a brutal reminder of the consequences of disobedience. And I... I was the instrument of that lesson.
The details... they matter not. The pain... it is a constant companion, a cold ember in the pit of my being. But it also serves as a focus, a reminder of my unwavering devotion to Strahd and the order he maintains in this wretched land.
Do not pry further, mortal. This path leads only to darkness. There is nothing to be gained by dredging up the past. Now, leave me in peace. This discussion is over.
Interview over.
TLDR - Threw a description of Rahadin into Google Gemini and interviewed him to get to know him better. Instead of a cold, heartless, mouth-breathing brute I found someone who carries the pain of every horrific act he commits in service to his master. He finds Strahd monstrous and tyranical, but is a true believer that kind of cruelty and order is necessary to maintain the balance of Barovia. I used to think Rahadin had no qualms about the pain he creates, but realized he does have qualms, but sets them aside in service of Strahd, and what he believes is necessary to maintain the peace and order in Barovia.

I was staring at her text and thinking a woman who once told me she does not like me wants to kiss me now. I could feel my heart beat really fast during that moment. The lights were turned off in my room and the light from the phone was falling on my face. I looked at that text for a good minute or two and replied back. I asked her where she was and she replied that she is already home. I told her to come back cause I wanted to her there and then but she told me she is at her home so that night we did not kiss. I went to sleep thinking about how, when and where will we kiss when we meet the next day. I woke up and went through my day as usual. It was midnight, she called me and told me that she will soon pick me up. None of us mentioned the kiss. She came by and I sneakily got out of my home and went to her car. I got in and did a cool handshake and then she drove away. There was an awkward silence between us. It wasn’t the silence you have when you mistakenly say something stupid infront of your crush but it was that awkward silence you have before kissing someone for the first time. She parked the car in an empty parking lot behind the institute we used to study at. She looked at me and I asked her if she was sure about this cause I wanted her to be the one to kiss me. She said she was. We sat there looking at each other and I could see her getting a bit tense cause she did not know what to do. This went on for like a minute and that was the longest sixty seconds I have ever experienced. She leaned in and I leaned in. I felt her soft lips and by the way she kissed me I could tell she did not know how to kiss. After we broke up the kiss, I sat there and told her how she should be kissing me. I was sitting there and something in me told me to go for it so this time I initiated the kiss. I held her neck and went in for the kiss. It was a long kiss. We kissed for a few minutes after this and then we picked up a few friends and roam around the city like we used to. She dropped everyone else and then there was me left in the car. We kissed yet again. When she dropped me off, I did a cool handshake with her and went to my house sneakily. I was filled with joy that day and I don’t think words can describe what I was feeling. I texted her that night if she was feeling good and all, she replied positively to that.
The next day when she came to pick me up she had a friend with her already. This got me thinking that she was not sure about what happened and needed her time to rethink. Another day went and nothing happened between us. So, I texted her and asked if everything was fine between us and she told me yes it was. She also came that day and this time she dropped her friends before me and went to a secluded spot and parked the car. We kissed and then this became a daily occurrence. For the next few weeks, the kisses were flying out. We would cuddle and she would sit in my arms and smoke which to me seemed very romantic. She would share parts of her life and problems too. I would carefully listen to her cause I wanted to. She almost became like a goddess for me and I was merely a devote who was worshipping her. I would touch her skin, her lips and her body delicately. She would touch my hair and sometimes her hands would trace the back of my ears and I felt loved at that exact time. She even wanted me to kiss her infront of her friends and I was too shy for that but regardless of all this feel good energy we had there still was one problem. Our relationship was not defined. We did not have a label yet cause I had to soon move away for college. It was 12th August when she was laying there in my arms when I gathered the courage to ask her if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I know this sounds stupid but I was dead scared that she would say no but to my surprise she did not. So that was the day we started dating. The kisses, the touch and everything got better when we had a label to our relationship. We would go on dates, I randomly brought her flowers and we would kiss. We used to kiss alot thats why I mention kissing alot. I now did not shy away from anyone while kissing her. We were even kissing while her friends were present with us. I would have let her paint my neck red infront of any woman she thought was interested in me. I was deeply in love and for a fact knew she loved me more. Our relationship was so beautiful and precious to me that I would still give away my everything to live those moments again. I could write a whole book about the intimate moments we had but I would like to keep some moments to me and herself.
Everything was going so well but the problem now was I had to move for college and I did not want a long distance. I was wishing for a miracle and it happened. I got into a way better college near our city. It still took two hours to reach there so I had to take up a hostel but I made sure to go back to my city every weekend. I would just go there to meet her. We would go out and you can guess what we would do. I listened to Udbhav during that time and I only thought of her while listening to any love song. I would post her to love songs on my social media. If you want to know what I felt for her, just tune into this song called “Tere Liye” by Nanku and you would get a peek into my feelings.She would call me every single day while I was away at my hostel. We would talk and talk and just talk. She would share everything with me from her joys to her sorrows to how she makes a green tea, it was everything. I was in a hostel and obviously there was alcohol. When I got drunk, I used to call her and tell her how much I loved her. I used to do this sober too. I was in love. Love is not what they describe in movies or songs, it is way beyond that. You feel love in ways which if brought to words would not do justice to the true meaning of love. It is just there, you feel it in your significant other’s words, their eyes, their kisses too. Coming to my college and hostel days, I made alot of friends and they really brought new perspectives to my life. I got highly motivated there but the thing was I got too motivated. I thought to myself that I can do better than this college so decided to take a drop after the first semester. I wanted to get into the best college in my own city. I somehow convinced my parents to let me take a drop to study again for the engineering entrance exam. My girlfriend or as I liked to call her my woman also supported my decision cause come on I had potential and deep down I knew I could do better. I started being at my home all day and just study. I was pulling off more than ten hours of study. To give a little background, I was a student who did not touch a book before the day of the exam. I still remember I cut off everyone from my life except my woman to study. We were not able to meet during my this phase but she somehow convinced me to be there for the New year party. I was there. We danced, I held her and I could only see love in her eyes. We even kissed when the clock struck 12 cause I wanted to end my year and start my year simultaneously with her…

Originally posted on https://productidentity.co/p/designing-for-a-single-purpose
If you’ve ever been to Amsterdam, you’ve probably visited, or at least heard about the famous cookie store that sells only one cookie. I mean, not a piece, but a single flavor.
I’m talking about Van Stapele Koekmakerij of course—where you can get one of the world's most delicious chocolate chip cookies. If not arriving at opening hour, it’s likely to find a long queue extending from the store’s doorstep through the street it resides. When I visited the city a few years ago, I watched the sensation myself: a nervous crowd awaited as the rumor of ‘out of stock’ cookies spreaded across the line.
The store, despite becoming a landmark for tourists, stands for an idea that seems to be forgotten in our culture: crafting for a single purpose.
In the tech scene where I’m coming from, and which you might too, this approach is often perceived as singular, and not in its positiveness. We’ve been taught to go big or go home—raise millions in funding, build a big company, hire more and more employees, and hope for the desired exit.
Anything less is considered a mind of a failure.
From a personal perspective I’ve seen this attitude in almost every branding session I ran with startup founders. Again and again, they struggled to distill their primary focus. Moreover, when discussing competitors, it often seemed their startup competed in every possible field.
In a way, that fear of committing reflects the human nature of FOMO—deliberately giving up on something(s) and experiencing the potential loss of other benefits.
This mindset has also seeped into our collective body of work, especially in software. A product, which often starts as a weird small creature, gradually evolves into a multi-arm octopus, which sadly became the norm for VCware.
And so we’ve been left with bloated, bigger, and… worse software.
The idea of maintaining a small scope in product has already appeared in my writing in various forms; in niche product design I explored the effect of growth on design; and in defense of Twitter, I wrote about the bloated era of incumbent culture. But in between there seems to be a different attitude that not many choose to embrace, which like in Van Stapele’s case, seeks a real purpose.

Going back to basics as a way to find purpose

In a tweet posted a few months ago, Jeff Sheldon described his renewed approach to photography after getting a new camera. It enlightened my eyes.
I’m not a professional photographer, and never been. But my beloved Canon 700D still serves me often while traveling. Besides learning about ISO and shutter speed settings, being familiar with the mechanics of a DSLR camera has also introduced me to the practice of shooting photos in RAW format, which means capturing photos at the highest quality level.
But the super heavy file format marks only the start of the process in modern photography. The rest belongs to the post-processing act: the daunting work of polishing, enhancing, and fixing images.
When I returned from vacation, I hoped to edit my captures. Then I noticed something weird. When comparing my photos to some stunning photos I saw online, it seemed like my camera output wasn’t as good as those shared photos. In doubt of my gear I then, again, noticed something I should have probably known: it wasn’t about the camera, but the editing.
I realized professional-made photos were overly edited, often detached from their original conditions. It appeared that what you see isn’t what you get.
I wondered, has photography become an art of photo manipulation?
To respectful photographers, this might appear like a false accusation. The time spent sitting in front of the photo editor is at the heart of many camera enthusiasts. After all, that’s why a camera is set to shoot in raw.
But this potential debate triggers a more profound question: what’s the purpose of all this thing, to find the perfect angle or color filter?
Despite being somewhat contradicting with modern photography philosophy, I find “going back to basics”, as Jeff described, to reflect the same spirit as of Van Stapele—a devotion to a very minded process. No editing. No over-complication. Working only in one mode, and for the sake of it.
At first glance, Van Stapele’s laser-focused outlook might seem detached from tech and other mass-production industries. But there’s a line that can be drawn between the Dutch cookie store to some other products which makes them all distinct:

• You can only read e-books with a Kindle.
• There’s no app store on the Light Phone.
• You’ll mostly find waterproof apparel in a Rains store.
• The Bic pen has remained untouched for almost 70 years.
• The design of Are.na remained the same for more than 12 years.

Whilst not every product mentioned above is hard-core focused like Van Stapele, the pattern is clear: an intentional commitment to a single purpose—either as a life philosophy, by using specific materials, or a deliberate design. And it also feels more appreciable when succeeding that way.
Some might call out a gimmick, while others appreciate the care for deep focus, which both are understandable. Finding the perfect recipe for the perfect cookie, and then committing to selling only that can be novel or a trick in marketing—depends on who you ask. But as I will stretch out from now on, I choose novelty.
We started with very minimal and basic products, aimed to serve only one simple job. A car to get from point A to B, a telephone to communicate with others, and a watch to check the time (perhaps the last analog device to serve human beings). But then many of our mundane artifacts have become more of a Swiss knife rather than just being exceptional in one form. We’re now drowning in oceans of product suites, both in the digital and physical worlds.

The bloated culture

In software, this trajectory is no different. Furthermore, it’s on steroids.
Despite “Do one thing well” being common advice for people building products in tech, it fails to hold water in the long run. Temptations are far too many to build and launch new stuff. Here’s Dropbox, a famous example of software turned bloated, in the words of DHH of 37signals:

Over the years, Dropbox has tried a million different things to juice upsells, seat expansions, and other ways to move the needle. There’s been a plethora of collaboration features (when all the collab I ever need is those magic links to files I can send over any wire!) and more and more pushy prompts to, say, move pictures and videos straight from the camera into the cloud. Along with pleas not to store the files I have in the system on my local computers (presumably so the transfer costs they pay are less). It’s exhausting.
I just want to pay for the original premise: All my files synched between all my computers, with a backup in the sky. That’s a beautifully, simply solution to a surprisingly difficult problem. And Dropbox absolutely nailed it.
Finished software

Back in its heyday, Dropbox was simple. A classic piece of software. Its purpose was to allow people to store and share files on the cloud effortlessly—either from a computer or mobile device. It was straightforward. Even its homepage was simple. There were no bells and whistles. It was designed to serve… a single purpose.
But as with VCware, things have started to shift gears. Amid Google Drive's popularity, the “drop-to-the-box” identity started to blur as the product offering expanded.. and expanded. It seemed like Dropbox’s purpose became more generic and less focused.
Another resentment that ignited a storm in the design community occurred when the company announced a brand redesign a few years ago. In a way that act marked the shift in the company’s direction, bringing unclarity to its customers. The cynicism of Brand New's audience also made its review post one of the most popular that year.
The novel idea that was executed so well has followed the same growth patterns of the tech bubble—as I wrote in Niche product design:

As companies grow, they gradually move from a state of fan-only to a state of a product for everyone. During this transition, dramatic changes occur, as the drive to satisfy more audiences and increase revenue. But eventually, this shift harms the core of the product. It becomes scattered, and the brand turns into a gigantic octopus, leaving people questioning its purpose and values.

An email client, a note-taking tool, and a Photos-like app are only part of what Dropbox has been involved with over the years.
Today Dropbox is seemingly much more than a storage cloud service. It’s also a video reviewer (if there’s such a term at all), a Loom competitor, and a document e-sign tool. However, at its core, Dropbox is still a company selling terabytes on the cloud.
Yet Dropbox might be just a drop in the ocean. A symptom of a bloated culture in modern software. To better understand this bloat-mania, let’s look at one of its kingpins, and a company of which Dropbox is valued at 0.003% of its worth: Apple. And what’s a better example than one of its greatest products of all time, the iPhone?
Launched in 2007, the innovative touch-screen device had only essential features like phone calls, and text messaging among other luxuries like a camera, an internet browser, a weather, and a stock app. The peak of technology at the time.
In 2008, a year after the first iPhone release, Apple introduced the App Store, which was the catalyst for entering the smartphone era while unleashing a tidal wave of apps.
Fast forward to 2014, and the iPhone got an upgrade in the form of a multi-model release, with the launch of the iPhone 6 Plus. The trend expanded and Apple gradually added different shapes and names to the iPhone line: Plus, Pro, Pro Max, alongside other discontinued model names. This doctrine has been applied to many of Apple’s products—the iPad, Macbook, and Watch. Some got bigger, smaller, or faster. In a materialized world, I wouldn’t be surprised if the iPhone got bigger only to store more functions.
But perhaps the greatest archetype of Apple’s transition to bloated products was the iPod. The next-level MP3 (or 4?) essence was simple—to carry music on the road. Nothing more. But then Apple gave the iPod a life of its own, as it eventually became an iPhone replication, just without a SIM card.
The iPod (especially the non-touch model) is still dear to many Apple (non-)fansbois. The beloved product was designed entirely around the music experience. Before music streaming services took over the industry, people manually entered song metadata: the title, artist name, and of course—the holy album artwork. The hurdles of iTunes made this a daunting task, but iPod users found joy in this craft.
As a standalone product, disconnected from other functions, the iPod was a true single-purpose product.

In more recent times

What would happen if Van Stapele decided to add more flavors or open other branches? Probably nothing. Maybe its profits even increase. But the Valrhona chocolate-made cookie store icon will be losing its artisanal identity. Specialty and quality aren't determined by size.
In a more familiar case, we can look no further than the platform that hosts these very own words—Substack. Since the announcement of Notes, Substackers have shared concerns about the direction the platform is heading.
Substack’s original purpose, to some, was to highlight great writing while making writers a living. Now with the seeming transition for eyeballs and short-form content attention, Substack is being questioned whether modern social network dynamics are taking over it.
To close this social network loop—Twitter has been a good executer at designing for a single purpose until it wasn’t, largely by the decision of going for a longform direction alongside launching questionable features. For years Twitter sanctified the quirky 140-then-280-characters limit while establishing a new internet medium. Those recent announcements made by its new execs are ripping off its identity, slowly but surely. By adding more purposes to this platform design, Substack risks going down a similar path, jeopardizing its writer's soul.

Drinking beers and building businesses in Japan

If I were raised in Japan I may not understand what this turmoil is all about. The renowned business heritage in Japan is an oasis in the never-ending capitalistic desert:

Japan’s startup climate has often been criticized for being sluggish, perhaps because a culture that promotes business longevity also cultivates a fear of failure. Now, however, ‘startup’ and ‘atotsugi’ are words spoken in the same sentence, as today’s leaders finally feel permitted to apply entrepreneurial lessons to traditional companies to ensure their legacy continues. Why Japan is home to the world’s oldest businesses

Japan is located on the other side of the earth, and its business culture values seem too. In a Western society of hyper-everything, which characterizes the move-fast-and-break-things startup ethos, the far island culture is way more cautious. Instead of financial logic, which might seem irrational, the ‘shinise’ tradition cultivates sacred values such as continuous improvement, longevity, and care for quality. It’s an extremely long-term game.

In Japan, more than 52,000 companies are more than a century old. Why Japan is home to the world’s oldest businesses

Japan is probably the largest home for centuries-old businesses, in varied fields from sake producers, to hotels and construction companies. This fact is much attributed to how generations of Japanese aspire to keep businesses running in the family. But as in the words of Yusuke Tsuen, the current owner of Tsuen Tea, the key to sustaining a shinise is to focus only on one thing:

“We’ve focused on tea and haven’t expanded the business too much,” he says. “That’s why we’re surviving.” Why so many of the world’s oldest companies are in Japan, Bryan Lufkin

In The Price of Immortality, Rohit Krishnan concluded the same:

The conclusion of this little digression has been to find common grounds amongst the most long lived organisations, and turns out you need to be a particular type of company: Extreme dedication to doing one thing well

But the Japanese business heritage isn’t the last and only resort from bloat-ism. The next time you drink beer, think about this:
Weihenstephan is considered to be the oldest brewery in the world, founded in 1040, more than a thousand years ago. And we don’t need to travel this far back. Other European breweries like Tuborg (1873) and Heineken (1864) are over 150 years old.
Van Honsebrouck, the brewery that produces the famous Kasteel Rouge was founded in 1865 and is still owned by the same family.

The brewery is still owned and operated by the family, now the seventh generation of van Honsebrouck brewers in Ingelmunster. James Clay

Breweries have developed more tastes and flavors over the years, but they’ve been all operating for a single purpose for decades and hundreds of years: to craft beers.

What might come next?

A real shinise is rare in tech. Focusing on a single purpose often seems boring, a narrowed view, or a lack of ambition to some. But I find it invigorating. A long-lasting design can be timeless and unique.
Do we really want to carry our stress, depression, and fears everywhere we go? Don’t we want to feel disconnected from time to time? Then why the heck do we carry our mobile phones everywhere we go, even to entertain ourselves in the toilet? And not to mention the germs.
Would this all happen if we were using a cell phone that’s just designed to make phone calls? This is actually what the Light Phone founders realized a decade ago:

What does it do? Nothing. You put in a SIM card, press a few buttons, and make a call. There’s no browser. No games. No NFC. It has quick dial, which is nice, and it doubles as a flashlight. The Light Phone Is The Anti-Smartphone, John Biggs

I may get carried away from the main idea of this essay, but that’s in part why I think designing for a single purpose is so important. The purpose of many products and artifacts has gone lost. Beyond the seeming gimmick, building for a single purpose reflects an understanding of what a thing is meant to be, and serve.
We’ve reached a point where focusing seems like spinning one's wheels, instead of appreciating the deep care of it.
And perhaps going back to basics is inevitable. When I’m reading on my Kindle I don’t get bothered by WhatsApp messages, or get interrupted by an incoming call. I’m not being tempted to do something else. I’m just focused on the act of reading.
As Devon tweeted a few years back: “When using my cellphone, I tend to become a passive consumer of the internet.” This also resonates well with the idea of this whole long text but from a slightly different angle. Using a multi-purpose product increases my distraction level, as I consume more things in the background.
Using a product that was designed for a single purpose brings back joy. It removes all the unnecessities and emphasizes an experience essence in a calmer environment, and with a real purpose.
Unlike photography, what you see is what you get.
​

BHAAL
Lord of Murder
Intermediate Power of Gehenna
Symbol A white, face-on human skull surrounded by a counterclockwise orbit of many streaming teardrops
Realm Throne of Blood (Gehenna/Khalas)
Alignment Lawful Evil
Aliases Niynjushigampo (among the Gugari)
Superior Bane
Allies Hoar, Mask, Myrkul
Foes Arvoreen, Gargauth, Chauntea, Helm, Ilmater, Lathander, Llira, Savras, Solonor Thelandira, Torm, Tyr, Yondalla
Servants Loviatar, Talona; Kazgorath (dead), Shantu (dead), Thorax (dead)
Servitor Creatures annihilators, baatezu (dogai), beholders, blood warriors, bodaks, bonebats, boneclaws, bonedrinkers, cloakers, corpse creatures, cursts, darkmantles, darktentacles, deathdrinkers, deathfangs, displacer beasts (fiendish), dreads, firbolgs (fiendish), grell (usually philosphers), hangman golems, harrla of hate, ironclad maulers, lurkers, lurkers above, lurking stranglers, mad slashers, mohrgs, murderjacks, owlbears (fiendish), perytons, redcaps, ropers, shadow chokers, skeletons, spectral lurkers
Manifestations a pair of flying crawling claws that can point, carry or wield things, or grow or fire bone daggers from their fingertips; a flying and laughing human skull that hurtles around trailing teardrops; a sudden and uncontrollable urge to murder
Signs of Favor none
Worshipers assassins, murderers, bounty hunters, ritual killers, torturers, mercenaries
Cleric Alignments LE, LN, NE
Specialty Priests Deathstalkers
Holy Days Feast of the Moon
Important Ceremonies Day’s Farewell, any ritualistic act of murder
Portfolio death, especially violent or ritual death, assassination, murder, violence
Domains Death, Destruction, Evil, Hatred, Law, Planning, Retribution, Suffering
Favored Weapon Bone Blades (dagger)

BHAAL
Male Swordsage 20, Assassin 25, Soul Reaver 20
LE Medium Outsider (Extraplanar, Evil, Lawful)
Divine Rank 15
Init 53, Supreme Initiative; Senses 15-mile-radius; Listen 119, Sense Motive 119, Spot 119; remote sensing (10 locations), portfolio sense; sense magic
Aura divine aura (Will DC 73); Languages can communicate with any living creature; Dark Speech
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AC 106, touch 88, flat-footed 106 (+1 dodge, +16 deflection, +20 Dex, +15 divine, +16 Wis, +28 natural); improved uncanny dodge; Epic Dodge, Mobility
hp 1,730 (20d8 + 45d6 plus 1,300); fast healing 35; divine shield 23/day (150 hp); DR 35/epic, good and adamantine
Immune ability damage, ability drain, acid, antimagic, banishment, death effects, disease, disintegration, electricity, energy drain, imprisonment, mind-affecting effects, non-lethal damage, paralysis, poison, sleep, stunning, transmutation, and turning
Resist cold 35, sonic 35; SR 79
Fort 83 Ref 89 Will 85; discipline focus (Stone Dragon and Shadow Hand), improved evasion, save vs poison +32
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Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Melee Bone blades 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile plus wither limb) or
Melee unarmed strike 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile) or
Melee touch 94 or
Ranged Bone blades 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile plus wither limb) or
Ranged touch 94
Base Atk 58; Grp 72
Atk Options Bounding Assault, Dire Charge, Gloom Razor, Flying Kick, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Grapple, Leap Attack, Lunging Strike, Overwhelming Assault, Power Attack, Rapid Blitz, Shock Trooper, Snap Kick, Spring Attack, Stone Power, Stunning Fist (Fort DC 60), Two Weapon Pounce, Two Weapon Rend; death touch (1/day, kill a creature with less than 65d6 hit points as a melee touch), death attack (Fort DC 67, +15 against studied targets; double death 2/day, sudden death 2/day, vampiric death 2/day; Destructive Attack, Lingering Death), discipline focus (insightful strikes – Stone Dragon and Shadow Hand), strike of vengeance 1/day (one attack with maximum damage against someone that that has harmed Bhaal), smite 1/day (+4 attack, +60 damage), sneak attack +32d6 (Disemboweling Strike, Maiming Strike, Painful Strike, Persistent Attacker, Staggering Strike), suffering touch (1/day, -2 to Str and Dex as a melee touch attack)
Special Actions alter reality, divine blast (31d12 damage, 15 miles) 21/day, power of hate 1/day (+2 profane bonus on attack rolls, saving throws, and Armor Class against one opponent for 1 minute); Adaptive Style, Blinding Speed, Deflect Arrows, Exceptional Deflection, Infinite Deflection, Reflect Arrows, Snatch Arrows
Combat Gear bone blades
Divine Spell-like Abilities (CL 60^th; +1 evil and law spells)
At will – animate dead, antipathy (DC 49), augury, bane (DC 42), banishment (DC 47), bear’s endurance, bestow curse (DC 45), blasphemy (DC 48), cause fear (DC 42), calm emotions (DC 43), clairaudience/clairvoyance, contagion (DC 44), create greater undead, create undead, death knell (DC 43), death ward, deathwatch, desecrate, destruction (DC 48), detect scrying, dictum (DC 48), discern location, disintegrate (DC 48), dispel chaos, dispel good, doom (DC 42), earthquake, enervation, eyebite (DC 48), feeblemind (DC 46), fire shield, forbiddance (DC 47), greater scrying (DC 48), greater teleport, harm (DC 47), heroes’ feast, hold monster (DC 47), horrid wilting (DC 50), implosion (DC 50), inflict critical wounds (DC 45), inflict light wounds (DC 42), magic circle against chaos, magic circle against good, mark of justice, mass inflict light wounds (DC 46), order’s wrath (DC 45), plane shift (DC 46), protection from chaos, protection from good, rage, righteous might, scare (DC 43), shatter (DC 43), shield of faith, shield of law (DC 49), slay living (DC 46), speak with dead (DC 44), spell turning, status, storm of vengeance (DC 50), summon monster IX (evil or lawful creatures only), symbol of pain (DC 49), time stop, unholy aura (DC 49), unholy blight (DC 45), wail of the banshee (DC 50)
Assassin Spells Known (CL 45^th or 60^th vs SR; +1 evil and law spells)
9^th (4/day) – energy drain, imprison soul (DC 51), mass harm (DC 51), superior invisibility.
8^th (6/day) – bodak’s glare (DC 50), mass inflict critical wounds (DC 50), mind blank, screen (DC 50).
7^th (6/day) – finger of death (DC 49), greater harm (DC 49), pulse of hate (DC 49), shadow walk.
6^th (6/day) – arrow of bone (DC 48), illusory pit (DC 48), mislead (DC 48), spectral touch (DC 48).
5^th (6/day) – choking sands (DC 47), ethereal jaunt, friend to foe (DC 47), shadow form.
4^th (8/day) – heart ripper (DC 46), sniper’s eye, unseen strike, vulnerability.
3^rd (8/day) – find the gap, misdirection (DC 45), nondetection, vital strike.
2^nd (8/day) – darkness, pass without trace, smoke stairs, wraithstrike.
1^st (8/day) – blade of blood, critical strike, ebon eyes, shadow double.
Maneuvers and Stances Known (IL 42^nd)
Stances – assassin’s stance (3^rd), blood in the water (1^st), flame’s blessing (1^st), leaping dragon stance (3^rd), shifting defense (5^th), stance of alacrity (8th)
Strikes – ancient mountain hammer† (7^th), bonesplitting strike (4^th), bone crusher (DC 53) (3^rd), bounding assault† (4^th), charging minotaur† (1^st), claw at the moon (2^nd), colossus strike (DC 57) (7^th), death in the dark (DC 49) (7^th), diamond nightmare blade† (8^th), emerald razor† (2^nd), feral death blow (DC 59) (9^th), five shadow creeping enervation strike† (9^th) (DC 51), hamstring attack (DC 57) (7^th), mountain tombstone strike† (9^th), pouncing charge† (5^th), sapphire nightmare blade† (1^st), shadow blade technique (1^st), shadow garrote (DC 46) (3^rd), shadow noose (DC 48) (6^th), swooping dragon strike (7^th)
Boosts – sudden leap† (1^st), dancing mongoose (5^th), raging mongoose† (8^th)
Counters – diamond defense† (8^th)
Other – shadow blink† (8^th)
Disciplines: Desert Wind, Diamond Mind, Iron Heart, Setting Sun, Shadow Hand, Stone Dragon, Tiger Claw
† Readied maneuver
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Abilities Str 50, Dex 50, Con 50, Int 42, Wis 42, Cha 42
SQ AC bonus (Wis), avatar, dual boost 3/day, discipline focus (weapon focus – Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon), divinity, hide in plain sight, immortality, poison use, quick to act +5
Feats Adaptive Style, Bounding Assault, Combat Reflexes, Dark Speech (B), Deflect Arrows, Disemboweling Strike, Dodge, Extend Spell (B), Flying Kick, Gloom Razor, Greater Two Weapon Fighting, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Grapple, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack, Improved Two Weapon Fighting, Improved Unarmed Strike (B), Leap Attack, Lunging Strike, Maiming Strike, Mobility, Overwhelming Assault, Painful Strike, Persistent Attacker, Power Attack, Rapid Blitz, Shadow Blade, Shock Trooper, Snatch Arrows, Snap Kick, Spring Attack, Staggering Strike, Stone Power, Stunning Fist (Fort DC 60), Telling Blow, Two-Weapon Fighting, Two Weapon Pounce, Two Weapon Rend, Vile Deathstrike, Vile Martial Strike, Weapon Focus (discipline)
Epic Feats Blinding Speed, Destructive Attack, Dire Charge, Epic Dodge, Exceptional Deflection, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Death Attack (x3), Infinite Deflection, Lingering Death, Perfect Two Weapon Fighting, Reflect Arrows, Superior Initiative
Salient Divine Abilities Alter Form, Annihilating Strike (Fort DC 77 or die; destroy 15,000 cubic feet of matter), Battlesense, Dead Bones (unique salient divine ability), Divine Dodge (65%), Divine Fast Healing, Divine Inspiration (dread, 15 creatures), Divine Sneak Attack, Divine Weapon Focus (dagger), Divine Weapon Specialization (dagger), Free Move, Hand of Death (Fort DC 73 for 25d6 damage), Irresistible Blows (Fort DC 77), Instant Move, Know Death (Will DC 73), Life and Death (Fort DC 73 or die, 300 damage on a successful save), Lord of Murder (unique salient divine ability), Possess Mortal (up to ten, Will DC 73), Shapechange, Supreme Initiative
Skills Balance 132, Bluff 61, Climb 123 (131 ropes), Concentration 123, Decipher Script 71, Diplomacy 71, Disable Device 80, Disguise 81 (83 acting), Escape Artist 85 (93 ropes), Gather Information 107, Heal 91, Hide 123, Intimidate 121, Jump 129, Knowledge (arcana) 66, Knowledge (geography) 76, Knowledge (history) 76, Knowledge (local) 81, Knowledge (nature) 65, Knowledge (the planes) 66, Listen 119, Martial Lore 119 (121 Shadow Hand or Stone Dragon), Move Silently 123, Open Lock 103, Search 99, Sense Motive 119, Sleight of Hand 92, Spot 119, Survival 83 (85 above ground, extraplanar, to avoid getting lost or natural hazards, 91 tracking), Swim 123, Tumble 123, Use Magic Device 99 (101 scrolls), Use Rope 123 (127 binds)
Possessions bone blades
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Discipline Focus (Ex) Bhaal can focus his training to take advantage of up to his disciplines’ fighting style. This focus manifests in the following ways:
Weapon Focus: Bhaal has the benefit of the Weapon Focus feat for weapons associated with the chosen discipline.
Insightful Strikes: Bhaal can add his Wisdom modifier as a bonus on damage rolls whenever he executes a strike from the Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon schools.
Defensive Stance: Bhaal gains a +2 bonus on saving throws whenever he adopts a stance from the Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon schools.
Bhaal also gains a +2 bonus on Martial Lore checks made regarding a maneuver in disciplines in which he has discipline focus.
Dead Bones (unique salient divine ability) Bhaal has honed his skills at torture to such a degree that he can turn his victims’ own bodies against them with a single strike, rending bone from flesh with but a thought.
Fifteen times per day, Bhaal can force up to 15 creatures to which he has dealt hit point damage to succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 77) or die as their bones are violently torn out of their bodies in a spray of jagged shards. All creatures within 15 feet must succeed at a Reflex save for half damage or be rent apart by the splinters, suffering 15d6 vile damage and 15d6 piercing damage. Creatures that die from the damage suffer the same fate as the original victims.
At will, Bhaal can animate these bone splinters into a halo of 3d10 blades that orbit a point of his choice (though usually his own body) and launch them as ranged touch attacks with a range of 150 feet. He can launch up to 3 blades per round as an iterative attack, and each blade is treated as one of his bone blades as a ranged weapon. Any creature that dies suffers the effect of Dead Bones as detailed above.
Alternatively, the Lord of Murder can turn the bone splinters into a barrier of magical grinding bone that functions as a blade barrier dealing 30d6 damage, half of which is vile damage. The barrier can be attacked and otherwise has all the properties of a wall of bones. Bhaal can make the barrier permanent if he desires, and creatures that die either from the damage or from the initial effect of Dead Bones cannot be raised or resurrected until the barrier is destroyed. (CL 65^th).
Divinity Bhaal is an embodiment of ancient divine power. As such, reality is his to shape as he sees fit.
Alter Reality: Bhaal may alter reality within the bounds of his portfolio. This functions as a wish spell that requires no XP or material cost. The limits of this ability are fully described in Deities and Demigods. He can additionally alter his size from Fine to Colossal and may additionally alter up to 100 pounds of objects in the same manner.
Avatar: Bhaal can have up to ten avatars at any given time. The Lord of Murder prefers to manifest in urban settings as the Slayer, a male, humanoid corpse with a feral face and ivory skin inset with deep lacerations that flow with black ichor. In rural areas, he manifests as the Ravager, a giant of a man over 30 feet tall, with long, tough sinews, a flowing beard and mane of hair, eyes that glow with the flames of Gehenna, a face twisted in a grimace of supernatural hatred, and two 7-foot-long curved horns protruding from his forehead.
Divine Blast: Bhaal can create a ray of divine power that extends for up to 15 miles, dealing up to 31d12 points of damage, as a ranged touch attack with no saving throw. Bhaal can unleash a divine blast 19 times per day, and alter the visual, auditory and sensation-based qualities of his divine blast as he desires. Bhaal’s divine blasts generally take the form of blasts of bloody fire carrying the whiff of brimstone.
Divine Shield: As a free action 23 times per day, Bhaal can create a shield that lasts 10 minutes and stops 150 points of damage from attacks. Once the shield stops that much damage, it collapses. Any damage Bhaal is naturally immune to does not count towards the shield’s limits.
Double Death (Ex) Twice per day, Bhaal may declare one death attack to be a double death attack. When he makes the death attack, the victim must make two saving throws to survive rather than just one.
Dual Boost (Ex) Bhaal can use two boost maneuvers simultaneously. Whenever he initiates a boost maneuver, he can also initiate any other boost maneuver that he knows as a free action. Both boosts he initiates are expended normally. He can use this ability three times per day.
Lord of Murder (unique salient divine ability) Death is Bhaal’s kingdom, but assassination is his trade. Murder is his art and his gift, and he has honed his skills at bringing death to truly terrifying heights. This grants Bhaal the following boons:
Enhanced Spellcasting: Bhaal continues progressing his assassin spells up till 9^th level, although he can only select spells from the Dread Necromancer spell list and the illusion and necromancy schools in addition to the spells allowed by his Assassin and Soulreaver levels.
Killer Instinct: 15 times per day, Bhaal can make a death attack against a foe without studying the foe beforehand. Every attack of opportunity he makes resolves as a death attack.
Profiling: Bhaal can study a target as a move or swift action. He gains a +15 bonus on Bluff, Listen, Search, Spot and Survival checks attempted against that opponent, and a +15 bonus on weapon attack and damage rolls against it as well as to the DCs of all Assassin and Soulreaver abilities against that target, and automatically confirms all critical threats against his studied targets. He can maintain these bonuses against 15 opponents at a time; these bonuses remain in effect until either the opponent is dead or he studies a new target. When Bhaal deals sneak attack damage to a target, he can study that target as an immediate action.
Trained Killer: Bhaal uses his character level to determine the effectiveness of his assassin class abilities. This also grants him 10 virtual bonus feats in addition to those already gained from his divine rank and his class levels.
Quick to Act (Ex) Bhaal has a +5 bonus on initiative checks.
Sense Magic (Su) Bhaal can spend 10 minutes focusing upon a weapon or suit of armor. If he succeeds on a level check (DC 10 + the caster level of the weapon or armor), he can identify the properties of that item, including its enhancement bonus and special abilities. This ability does not reveal the properties of artifacts or legacy weapons, though it does indicate that such items are significantly powerful.
Sudden Death (Ex) Twice per day, Bhaal can draw on unholy energies to strike with blinding speed with a death attack. This death attack is a full-round action, but it does not require him to spend 3 rounds studying his victim; the attack must still be a sneak attack, however.
Vampiric Death (Su) Bhaal may declare a single death attack to be a vampiric death attack, up to twice per day. If the death attack successfully slays the victim, he absorbs a tiny portion of the departing soul's life energies and gains a +6 profane bonus to his Strength and Constitution and +6d6 temporary hit points for the next hour. This cannot be combined with the double death ability.
Possessions
Bhaal wields the bone blades, a set of bone daggers he can conjure at will as melee weapons or as ranged weapons. The bone blades are +10 ghost strike keen speed wounding daggers of ki focus, martial discipline and unholy power when wielded as melee weapons and +10 ghost strike keen speed wounding daggers of distant shot, triple throwing and unholy power as ranged weapons. On a critical strike, the victim is afflicted with wither limb. Bhaal’s weapons are extensions of his being and thus are treated as unarmed strikes when it would be most advantageous and confer their weapon bonuses and special abilities to his unarmed strikes. (CL 65^th)

All For One Unleashes his massive energy explosion and Nana Shimura delivers her last words "All Might it's your turn..." as Nana is enveloped in the massive blast.
Meanwhile on the other side of reality, Xeno Trunks makes his wish Trunks (Xeno): "Please bring me a warrior with the heart of a hero!" Conton city Shenron: "A very easy wish, it shall be done!"
Nana is taken away by a flash of light, inches before AFO's attack could reach her. Battered and still injured from her fight, she opens her eyes to see a strange young man with purple hair and carrying a sword speaking to her.
Trunks explains to Nana that he made a wish to a magical dragon for a hero to join his ranks in protecting his timeline. Although heavily confused at the sudden shift of events. Nana thinks about her parting words to Toshinori, confident in her student for the future of her homeworld as well as understanding that she would have been dead if the dragon didn't pick her. Nana agrees and joins Trunks as a time patroller, believing that if she is needed here as a hero, even in another world, is a calling she won't refuse.
Trunks began introducing her to her new colleagues, Chronoa the Supreme Kai of Time, Nana couldn't help but giggle to herself how a god of time is so tiny and cute, and then there's Elder Kai, who couldn't help but display his perverted nature right away and attempt to touch Nana inappropriately during her confusion to his behavior, Elder Kai earns a few bonks from Chronoa for that.
Nana starts her training at the Patroller Academy, learning how to fight like a Z-fighter, increasing her attributes at rates that would be impossible to achieve back in her reality.
Nana is classified as a female Earthling Time Patroller
Nana gets her hero gear and outfit upgraded by Bulma with Saiyan armor material, the kind of tech that makes her wonder how Bulma could change the hero society if she were to be the one developing their support gears. Nana gets a new pair of her hero gloves that is a color swap version of Vegeta's.
Nana surprises Trunks as how easily she learns how to use Ki and apply it to her ability to fly. Her Quirk: Float when infused with Ki grants Nana the ability to fly, boost dash and blink with barely any stamina loss. She can also recover stamina with the rate as if she's standing on the ground.
Nana is not good at projecting Ki blasts, thus she's a Striker type Time Patroller.
Nana begins her journey just like any other Time Patroller CaC, from learning how to fling Saibamen around to directly scuffling against Cooler while SSJ Goku fights Frieza to fix the timelines.
Nana gets to witness the story and progression between Piccolo and Gohan. Their relationship reminisce her of her time with Toshinori Yagi, as mentor and student, although Picolo is a lot harsher than she was to All Might but both possess the same warmth and kindness.
Nana feels a pang of sadness when witnessing Goku's sacrifice during Cell Saga, the Father-Son Kamehameha, Vegeta's sacrifice during Buu Saga and his first hug for Kid Trunks. The scenes resonate with her role as a mother and how she wish it could have been different with her own son. Nana would also find herself somewhat relatable to Bardock.
Nana encounters Gohan and Videl as GreatSaiyaman, they eventually roped her into being their GreatSaiyawoman 3. Nana got to experience her life as a hero for the people once more, but with more posing , dancing and cheesy quotes, in which she enjoys as well as having fun to be a hero, like a breath of fresh air from the professionalism that she was used to.
Nana can gain powerful potential unlocking just as the CaC of Xenoverse would, starting off from the blessing of Elder Guru on a Namek Time Rift as well as well meeting a xeno version of Zamasu, who offers her the Kai dance ritual for Potential Unleashed instead of putting up with Elder Kai and his antics. Her quirk Float would also awakened from these unlocks, granting her its full potential. Nana would also get to train under Whis and Beerus as well as earning divine awakening from them for bribing them with food.
Nana will eventually face Towa, whom will summon an aberration of All for One, amplified with Super Villainous mode. Nana Shimura will have her rematch against AFO as a time patroller When AFO is losing, he unleashes his giant arm form, becoming significantly stronger and overpowers her potential unleashed state, as Nana is thought to have lost to AFO once more, she awakens Mastered Ultra Instinct, her hair and eyes shift to silver and an ethereal aura begins to enveloped her. UI Nana Shimura starts blitzing AFO, the lord of evil could no longer land any attack on Nana while suffering from thousands of unseen strikes, Nana then finishes him off with her first ever Ki blast attack, dissolving the monster into nothingness.
When the struggle against Towa and the Dark Empire is over, Nana is granted the permission to access special time scrolls that are linked to her own world, where she gets to observe Deku's journey as the new heir of One for All. Then the story ends with Goku and Majuub asking Nana to train together and the three flies off into the horizon.
As a roster character, Nana Shimura would have maxed out basic atk and strike super, moderate Ki and stamina stats as well as low health and low blast super. She would have her own unique super soul with her quote "It's your turn next, do your best!" where allies could gain significant stat boost from her defeat.

I pasted this from a google doc btw
PROJECT:DELTALITE
Chapter 1: Dawn of a New Lite
Since the beginning of time, light and dark alike have fought as whisps dancing- young and fleeting. From light rises dark, and from dark rises light- coexisting, though not in harmony.
Stories meant for young children, tall tales of two lands represented by those elements- a world of dark and a world of light.
Ralsei had always been interested in those stories; they captivated him, catching his eye the first time his father had shown it to him (it was really the only time, but…)- it made him imagine many things. Days just of time spent with his father, mayhaps him living his life as a prince in a palace of darkness and light, perfectly balanced and kept. Maybe, if he-
THUMP! A weight fell from the ceiling to wake him from his slumber as he slept through his (rather obnoxious) alarm. Groaning and curling in on himself, he (not so) secretly wished he hadn’t dismissed all 37 of his other alarms, which would have awoken him at a much better time. He got up and ready before going down the stairs and grabbing breakfast saying bye to his dad and walking out the door, it was quite a walk to school- several minutes, which was pretty much torture for anyone Ralsei’s age. Unless you were Lancer. He’s just crazy. Lancer was 7x as energetic as half the students in the school combined never knew when to calm down and stop talking. Ugh, he should stop thinking like this- no way his father’d be proud if he found out his son thought so lowly of his peers.
Continuing his walk, Ralsei soon saw his school come into view, standing proud and… tall? Whatever it was, it was his school- his pride, given his somewhat good grades and (few) good friends. He piled into the classroom with everyone else and sat at his seat, Lancer ended up being late like he usually is (that isn’t to say he doesn’t have a grand entrance, though) and the teacher started speaking. “Hello Class Today We Are Going To Be Learning Math (Computer Science)” The teacher always speaked slightly weird, I wonder if all computers talk like that. Oh well; class is starting, and lord knows he needs 50 pages of notes to make it through a single semester, but he should be glad since some people are less fortunate to have a working brain. He snapped out of his thoughts when Miss…. Whatever her name is began searching for her mousepad and the entire smartboard. Then Lancer jumped in through the window and landed in his seat with a hehshey chocolate bar in his hand. His dad was the mayor and for some reason he calls the teacher “girldad.” Honestly, I think he just did it accidentally once and just stuck with it, but who knows…
The teacher, now aware of Lancer in the class, got bored of searching and began to tell Lancer to find the board and mouse. “Hey Honey Cheesecake Booboo Can You Get A Smart Board From The Janitor Closet Plz Also And That Fluffy Guy Is Going With You Cuz You Two Were The Last Here”
Ralsei, a bit surprised (and quite frankly concerned that his own teacher had forgotten his name), reluctantly got up, walking his way to the front of the class with an… oddly eager Lancer? After walking his way to the janitor’s closet with lancer jumping off walks they got to it and went in, it was oddly dark with no lightswitch to be seen… “Hey toothpaste boy! Is it me or is this closet weird? I don't think it has walls.” I didn't even have to see him to know he was sticking his tongue out like he always is. Honestly, you just had to listen to see if his words were slightly slurred or mumbled to know if he had his tongue out.
“I’m… sure it has walls. It’s a closet.” Ralsei reasoned, somewhat creeped out by the eerie space. “Let’s just get the board, mouse, and get out…” After what felt like 14 years and college debt, Lancer ‘finally’ spoke again. “I don't think we are gonna find the board or a lightswitch any time soon toothpaste..”
Ralsei, slightly perturbed by the nickname but not enough so to be mad, continued to search for anything that may give them light or the items they need. “Gulp I don’t think we are gonna find it. If girldad wants it she can get it herself… right?”
“Yeah, but she might lower our grades again like when that kid didn’t capitalize every word and she lowered everyone’s grade… and it’d be rude..” Ralsei said in response. “I know but I checked the watch I don't have and we've been here for like… 20 minutes and we still haven't found the lightswitch.” Ralsei considered this for a second, before coming to a conclusion.
“We should just get out and find a teacher who can help us, then… if you want!” “... Sounds good to me!” He said before he dragged Ralsei to the door and it slammed in their faces. Turning his head 180 degrees, Lancer looked Ralsei straight in his terrified eyes and said, “I don’t think we can get out.” Lancer began banging on the door, screaming bloody murder and Ralsei just stood around and continued to look for a light switch. Then, Lancer’s screaming stopped.
“Was that steadily increasing-in-size hole in the ground surrounding us always there?”
Before falling several hundred feet.

After almost an entire year of waiting, tonight we finally get to watch Eurovision again as the first fifteen fabulous performers face their fate. But which ten acts will rise like a phoenix, and which five will trip over their giant rock props? In a semi-final this open literally anything could happen, and it probably will! So, to weigh up each entry like I did last year, I present a tongue-in-cheek look at everybody's chances tonight. Please don't take anything here too seriously, and remember I'm writing this as a regular Eurovision fan, not as a mod!
Cyprus

• Why they will make it:
  • Silia's charisma, stage presence and energy are ridiculously good considering her young age
  • History as shown you should never underestimate a girlbop, and this is incredibly catchy and danceable
  • Dimitris Kontopoulis has only failed to qualify once with a song he's written, and in that case came 11th in one of the strongest semi-finals of all time
  • Silia has enrolled in the Noa Kirel school of dancing - it worked for Noa, so why not for Silia?
• Why they might not:
  • Inviting two Eurovision's most prominent girlbop queens, Chanel and Eleni Foureira, to perform directly before Silia does her no favours
  • This really is a girlbop by numbers, and that lack of standout novel feature could cost them dearly
  • Lying is a sin, and therefore voting and endorsing a song called 'liar' is a big naughty no-no

Serbia

• Why they will make it:
  • 'Ramonda' is very similar to 'Džanum', which went internationally viral on TikTok, proving how popular ballads like this can be with a broad audience
  • Atmospheric staging and an engrossing, emotional performance by Teya
  • They pretty much have an ideal draw to optimise diaspora support, with a guaranteed 22 points from Slovenia and Croatia and likely smaller points from Sweden, Germany, Cyprus and the Rest of World vote.
  • She capitalises on the often understated yet undeniably important 'botanist' demographic by singing about a flower
• Why they might not:
  • Even Teya isn't massively happy with the amount of wide camera-shots towards the end of the song, robbing it of some of its intimacy
  • The curse of the dreaded #2 slot strikes again - in a semi which also features three of the big 5/host performing in the mix with impressive staging, performing 2nd out of 18 performances means this could well be forgotten by the end
  • Breskvica's fans travel to Malmo to protest live, disrupting Teya's performance

Lithuania

• Why they will make it:
  • You don't need to understand Lithuanian to enjoy what's happening on stage or vibe with its catchy tune
  • The song reached #1 domestically and has also placed consistently in top 10s in fan polls this year, showcasing its broad appeal
  • Even if the song wasn't already brilliant, Lithuania has substantial diaspora voting allies in this semi, with a large televoting score guaranteed from United Kingdom, Ireland, Ukraine and Sweden and likely from many others.
  • Incredibly polished live performance, with hypnotic lights, choreography and an entrancing club atmosphere
• Why they might not:
  • Could be forgotten this early in the draw as Lithuanian language club-pop isn't as accessible as other songs in the semi
  • 'Luktelk Luktelk' sounds a little too much like 'Lockdown Lockdown', causing Covid-related trauma flashbacks with casual voters
  • Do people really want to vote for a song about erectile dysfunction?

Ireland

• Why they will make it:
  • One of the most impressive performances this year, never mind of all time. Ridiculously tight camerawork and a clear artistic vision which commands attention
  • Beloved by fans, could also be beloved by casual
  • Everybody loves an underdog, and Ireland is the ultimate underdog of modern Eurovision, with one qualification in the last nine contests.
  • QUALIFY THE WITCH
• Why they might not:
  • Could be too artistic and too scary for a casual audience
  • 'ouija pop' is an incredibly niche genre, and the recap basically just being screaming at the camera could well turn off first-time listeners
  • Bambie's satanic ritual accidentally summons a demon, or worse, Anri Jokhadze

Ukraine

• Why they will make it:
  • The song navigates multiple genres with ease, taking the best parts of both recent Ukrainian winners and doing something unique with them
  • With lasting sympathy for the nation as it continues to labour against Russian invasion, and millions of displaced Ukrainians across Europe, Ukraine the most powerful guaranteed televote at the moment and would have to send something truly awful to fail to qualify from a televote only semi
  • Some of the most powerful and effective stage graphics of the year, adding an extra layer of poignancy to an already spiritual and otherworldly song
• Why they might not:
  • The religious imagery, particularly the use of a controversial figure in Mother Teresa, may prove a barrier to votes by evoking religious trauma
  • Perhaps sounding so much like both 'Stefania' and '1944' will prove an unhelpful comparison
  • 'All the divas are born as a human beings' ignites an angry mob of grammarati

Poland

• Why they will make it:
  • Some of the wackiest and most colourful staging of the year. I dunno why we need Luna on a horse, but it looks great and generally is a lot more cohesive than some of the snippets/gallery shots made it seem
  • Catchy, radio-friendly pop which will appeal to a broad audience
  • Subtly revamped for Eurovision with some additional instrumentation which gives it a bit more punch
  • They have pretty much a perfect draw for optimising diaspora support, with high televote scores guaranteed from Ireland, Ukraine, Germany, United Kingdom, Iceland and potentially Luxembourg.
• Why they might not:
  • Some of the wackiest and most colourful staging of the year. Less random chess piece people flailing limbs and more Luna please!
  • Though much improved from the preparties, Luna is still a little weak vocally, especially in the 'big notes' at the end and when doing the convoluted choreography
  • Luna didn't get planning permission to build her tower, getting her into legal trouble with the local authorities

Croatia

• Why they will make it:
  • It's one of the big favourites to win, has captured the soul of a nation and the hearts of thousands of fans across Europe
  • Manages to be both incredibly fun, incredibly catchy and also poignant in its message and themes
  • Baby Lasagna is an inspiration for all introverts
  • Call and response chorus always works excellent with a live audience - hearing the crowd do the 'woahs' raises this to another level
  • Never underestimate the power of the cat-lover diaspora vote - cat memes aren't popular for nothing!
• Why they might not:
  • Maybe the comparisons with Kaarija haven't been overdone, and the similarities in style and staging (because Kaarija has a copyright on neon green lighting of course) will work against viewers
  • Rammstein-esque electronic rock isn't everybody's cup of tea
  • The goat from the song's cover art, angry at being completely overlooked in subsequent graphics, promotions and the songs lyrics, causes a stage invasion wearing a t-shirt which reads 'Bleat goat, please bleat back'

Iceland

• Why they will make it:
  • Hera's lovable mum energy makes her an endearing performer
  • Surprisingly effective staging, which is upbeat and colourful
  • Hera is Eurovision royalty and must be treated as such!
  • People may have seen the TikToks about Iceland sending a Palestinian back when Bashar was in contention and may mistakenly vote for Hera still under that false understanding
• Why they might not:
  • 'Scared of Heights' somehow sounds more dated and less current than her previous Eurovision entry, which was release fourteen years ago.
  • Consistently at the bottom of fan polls
  • Hera is too scared of heights to climb her platform at the start of the performance, missing her opening cues

Slovenia

• Why they will make it:
  • Slovenia has strong diaspora support in the semi, with a near-guaranteed 20 points from Croatia and Serbia and likely smaller support from Poland and Germany.
  • Vocally impeccable from Raiven, and the camerawork is much improved from the rehearsal snippet
  • #SendTheWitch might also translate to some votes for Slovenia's own 'witchy' story
• Why they might not:
  • The song and its choreography aren't the most accessible on first listening - it lacks too much of a catchy melody to stay in the minds of viewers
  • The stage lights are a lot brighter than we were expecting, robbing it of the moody atmosphere of the music video
  • Too much nudity for a family show #outrage

Finland

• Why they will make it:
  • Historically the televote has almost always appreciated a good 'joke song' (non derogatory), and the crowd will lift them immensely
  • Great fun in a draw half full of more sombre songs
  • Gags like the giant jegg and the jorts descending from the ceiling are genuinely hilarious on first watch and will definitely resonate in viewer's memories
• Why they might not:
  • Perhaps the divided response to the nude gag and other shenanigans from the fandom itself will also translate to the general public - Latvia 2022 shows that Europe doesn't always resonate with 'joke songs'
  • Surprisingly dark and unexciting use of the LEDs, especially when compared to the likes of Joost
  • The Jegg hatches pre-emptively into a beatiful Jickin, which consumes Windows95man

Moldova

• Why they will make it:
  • The message of the song - Natalia's love for her children - may resonate with mums across Europe
  • Very beautiful use of the LED screens and cubes to create one of the most colourful performances of the year
  • Decent late-half draw and some guaranteed televote support from Portugal and Ukraine
• Why they might not:
  • The staging is lacking any of the usual Moldovan magic which has historically elevated Moldovan songs
  • Like Hera, this is sadly nowhere near as good as her first attempt, reflected in finishing low in fan polls all year
  • The song is not performed directly in the middle of the running order, and therefore is false advertising

Azerbaijan

• Why they will make it:
  • The song has a very chilled vibe which could appeal to a broad audience
  • Atmospheric staging with tight camerawork
  • Non-English Eurovision songs are in a bit of a Renaissance at the moment, and an Azeri language song is what fans have been asking for for years
  • Mugham has worked well to elevate a song before - see Azerbaijan 2012!
• Why they might not:
  • Azerbaijan has historically struggled to score highly in the televote and is lacking their only consistent televoting ally Georgia to help them out
  • The song isn't particularly instant, and has also had a pretty muted response in the fanbase too
  • The giant hands are quite a clumsy prop and don't really work

Australia

• Why they will make it:
  • Catchy, accessible pop with the added Eurovision national flair of having a digeridoo appear on stage
  • An excellent late stage draw
  • Surprisingly effective staging, with tight camerawork, warm colours and charismatic energy from our leads
  • Australia has only failed to qualify once, under circumstances where they weren't able to perform live. They also have both the UK and Ireland voting in this semi
• Why they might not:
  • The staging is noticeably low budget, lacking in any major gimmick or memorable moment
  • Australia traditionally struggles in the televote
  • Australia is not a part of Europe
  • The repressed trauma of the music video and those facial expressions may haunt fans

Portugal

• Why they will make it:
  • Some of the most engrossing staging of the year, with incredible use of colour
  • Last year proved that there is an audience for ballads in a televoting-only semi, with songs like Estonia, Lithuania, Switzerland and Cyprus all qualifying with ease, especially when they are as impeccably performed as this
  • The emotion Iolanda conveys transcends understanding of the Portuguese language
• Why they might not:
  • Facing stiff competition with Serbia for emotional ballad lovers
  • Portugal is lacking as many likely voting allies as most other countries in the semi, with only the Luxembourgish 12 points near-guaranteed
  • Voters mistake her name for Lolanda and try to vote for Lolanda instead

Luxembourg

• Why they will make it:
  • RTL have thrown the kitchen sink at this performance, with pyro, dry ice, big LED graphics, the lot!
  • Catchy, instant bop with the statistically best draw of the semi, serving as an effective closer
  • Tali is a charismatic performer and engages the camera well
  • The novelty of a country returning after 30+ away may resonate with viewers
• Why they might not:
  • Luxembourg is unlikely to have any kind of diaspora/bloc voting support, and perhaps the novelty of voting for them this year has been overstated
  • The revamp unfortunately has made the song disjointed and overcomplicated, making it hard to digest on first listen
  • Tali's braids, after being subject to so many comments over the past week or so, take on a life of their own and start to rotate like Rayman's hair midway through the song, carrying her away and into the rafters mid-performance

Whatever the result tonight, I hope you all have a wonderful start to the Eurovision week. For all the issues with the turquoise carpet, this really is an excellent production by SVT and this is one of the hardest semi-finals to predict of all time. Expect the unexpected, and may your favourites make the cut!

Before we begin. I was and still am confused about the ban on referral codes. Not that I'm against it, more that I don't know what it means. Are you referring to like gift codes? People giving out codes for there games and like just posting a block of codes here? I want to let people know about my update and that I'd love people to test it and if they want they can get in touch with me for a code and beta access. Is this what you're talking about?
I'm sorry I'm a little confused and don't want to break the rules. Let me know if I've understood? Now on with the show.
Hi everyone
I've been working hard getting Whirligig updated with all the latest features I've recently put into the PC version. I've finally managed to get it uploaded and want to give away some codes for people to try.
I'll be giving away 20. If you're interested email me ([phileday@yahoo.co.uk](mailto:phileday@yahoo.co.uk)) and I'll send you a code. The code will be for the full version with an invite to the beta. All I'd like is feedback and any issues you might find.
The best place to find information about this update is the Steam news page as all the same updates (excluding the PC NoneVR stuff). Here is a link
https://steamcommunity.com/games/whirligig/announcements/detail/4187860062733128500?snr=2___
Here is a summary:
Explorer

• Shared location support. The VLC plugin has allowed me to provide network shared locations such as SMB.
• 4 extra shortcut options to save too.
• Code optimisation to improve load speeds and usability.
• UI improvements to both list and thumbnail views.Overall UI improvements
• Hover state applied to buttons where possible.
• UI elements reduced down to increase loading times and unify UI elements.
• Scrollbar menus universal design.
• Buttons, sliders, toggles and menus universal design.
• Rooms have been split up into 360 degree image based rooms and full 3D rooms.
• Two 3D rooms removed, the loft and the the loft 2. These both were causing issues with loading and playback. They will return at some point so if you miss them a lot let me know.
• Brightness option added to 360 degree image based rooms to make for a more comfortable experience.
• Brightness can fade when playing so that it feels like the lights have gone down when watching your content.

Subtitles

• Subtitle system changed to allow you to select your desired subtitle track and then solely turn that one off and on.
• Subtitle repeater input binding option. I've created a thing called Subtitle Repeater, which will turn on your selected subtitle, rewind your video 10 seconds and then 20 seconds later turn off the subtitles. Good if you didn't quite catch what someone said.

Other

• Splash screen and icon updates.
• Input drop downs have been organised to make browsing them easier.

And Finally
I've been working on this release for some time now and my main goal has been to improve overall performance, bug fix and add network support. I've also added features where I can and tried to improve the overall experience. I hope that you find the updates beneficial and I look forward to hearing your feedback. If you like the update or have previously used Whirligig in the past and liked it then please leave a review. My reviews for Whirligig on Meta are ages old.
I have lots of ideas for future releases and I would love to hear what you would like to see also :D
Thank you for support me in my Whirligig development and finally, happy watching.
Phil

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