I’ve used saunas before at spa type places where I was in a towel but there’s a sign at my gym sauna (which is in the female dressing room) that clothing is required in the sauna.
I haven’t seen anyone use it yet, and don’t know how to dress or prepare to use it. Should I bring a change of clothing or bathers? And should I still bring a towel even if I’m fully dressed?

I’m trying to figure out how to use gobble gum on BO3 on my controller on my PC. I am extremely new to the PC community and know pretty much nothing. I have hit every button on my controller, and can not activate gobble gum, what do I do?

I tried writing this last night but it got too long so I will try to make it shorter this time.
So in 2017 I was added in a group chat on Facebook. He was in the group chat. I was always the type of friend who would be there for my friends so I reminded them that if they need someone they can talk to me. I hung out often with these people. But individually I wasn’t close to anyone(if that makes sense).
He texted me one day asking me for help. He was sure I wasn’t going to judge him. I really didn’t. After that we kind of got close. We started hanging out individually. he wasn’t like the other guys and our bond was special. I hoped to lose him.
Slowly my feelings for him grew. I was in denial because I can’t do it. It would ruin the friendship. One night me and that friend group hung out. We “sneaked” into a nightclub. We were underage but one girl wasn’t and you are allowed to go into nightclubs with a family member(or someone who is over 18). We drank a little and the alcohol got us in a flirty mood. he started flirting with me and I flirted back. Somehow after this we kept on flirting as a joke. my mind didn’t accept this is a joke even though it was.
My feelings got more intense when he started talking to a girl. I was helping him still because I was still in denial. They got together and since it was a long distance relationship it was all good but it was long distance but when they met things got toxic. I wont go into details but we all were telling him to break up with her. When he did I was relieved. We started jokingly flirting again. And planning future. To move in together and have a dog and a cat. Somehow was delusional enough to think that he was being for real even though we both knew it was a joke. I was so hurt how he would rant about how much he misses her the next day.
My world turned around when they got back together. I got physically sick and that night I realised I was in love. I was hoping for them to break up so i could make him fall for me. Long story short his relationship with that girl was on and off. Every time it was off(breaking up) I would have hopes and at this point I was the one who flirted the most and I was being for real.
The relationship lasted 2 years and half. After they broke up for real I had a feeling it was over. Around the time I tried to make him forget about her and I tried to prove him that he is loved(without confessing). I was so jealous when he told me that many girls confessed to him that they like him and they were waiting for him to break up with his ex. He started fucking around(although I would say that he isn’t as bad as most of the guys because his body count is not a double number). I was still trying to make him fall for me.
One night we went to a nightclub again with his friends. We both got a little drunk and flirty. Sober me would be too shy to sit on his lap. This was the first time we got touchy. I was too confident. I don’t remember what we were saying before we kissed but I was so happy. I was in the mood so I started teasing him but he stopped me because I was drunk. I told him that I’ve been waiting for years for this to happen and I’m sure. But that night things ended here.
The next day we talked about it and I couldn’t hide the fact that I was waiting for him for years. We decided to give it a try. I was so happy. Happy and in love. It was like a dream come true.
Everything was perfect besides from when I initiated sex he would reject me because he wants my first time to be special. I told him that it will be special because it’s going to be with him. He said that we can’t do it yet. And I was weirded out. Why?
One night I was too curious and I decided to do something I would never do. I went through his phone. And I found out something that broke my heart. he was texting his friends about how much he loves me but he misses his ex. His friends were calling him stupid for missing a bitch who cheated on him and used him and manipulated him. He opened up about how he doesn’t want to have sex with me because he doesn’t think that it would be fair to me my first time should be special. I felt so heartbroken.
In the morning I told him that I know he misses his ex and we got an argument about how I went through his phone without his consent but then he apologised to me. We ended things and my biggest fear came true. I lost him. It’s been six months but it’s still hurts.
So guys please don’t wait for someone for years. Don’t wait for someone who is in a relationship. Don’t the guy who got out of a relationship less than a year ago. Don’t make my mistakes.

TLDR: not sure if the large zits on my jawline and neck that happen before my period are cystic? They do come to a head. Having a hard time not touching those huge painful zits, especially when stressed.
I've been really good about not picking at any skin as I get older. J fortunately, I'm 31 and still dealing with acne and have been since I was 14. I hope that one day I'll figure it out through diet and lifestyle, but doing the best I can.
When I leave the zits alone, they do tend to leave PIH, but I just keep pimple patching and spit treating as much as I can. Some very obvious whiteheads I'll use a hot compress and sterile needle to drain them, but lately I've had some lately hormonal acne, and I do think it's due to the caffeine in an energy drink phase during ovulation week this month.
I had this one hormonal spot that popped up yesterday and it was hard and sore to the touch. I feel like if I let it sit for a day, it would have came to a head, but I was feeling a bit stressed and couldn't resist the urge to pop it because it felt so sore. There was no head,but the skin was taught, shiny, and swollen and I could see the pore that had been stretched. I gently squeezed and BOOM, explosion 💥 onto the mirror. It had so much pressure built up. I immediately put a pimple patch on and it looks pretty much non existent today.
I'm really struggling with how to not squeeze when stressed, especially those pressurized zits, because they are so so satisfying.

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman? At least this can give me a better visual illustration.
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on and , they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

Essentially I've made a system in Godot that takes the advantages of Multi-Meshes (combining all meshes of the same type into a single draw call for improved CPU performance) while mitigating the disadvantages (unable to separate/cull individual meshes, which harms GPU performance). Note: written in C#.
It is recommended to know a bit about how Multi-Mesh instancing works; this isn't a full tutorial. Not that I won't answer questions about it either :)
The way it works is:

1. "Objects" are de-coupled from Meshes. So I essentially have my own RendObj class that doesn't inherit from Node3D. These can request an ID from the MeshManager. It makes it simple to keep the "logic" separate from the actual rendering method, to swap in whatever I want.
2. The MeshManager has a Dictionary of (not to be confused with MultiMeshInstance2D or MultiMeshInstance3D) so that for every Mesh type we can track a Multi-Mesh each.
3. The reason for tracking IDs is that we want to be able to only send visible meshes to the Multi-Mesh each frame. That means if there are 5 objects and 3 are visible (object 2 and 4 are invisible) it will look like:

TrackedIDs = [0,1,2,3,4]
VisibleIDs = [0,1,3]
And then on the MultiMesh object, VisibleInstanceCount = 3.
So far it's straight forward. Just keep adding/removing elements from the VisibleIDs list.

1. Because this changes dynamically, we need to update the buffer size in the MultiMesh. So to keep things simple, the default size is set to 4 (set via MultiMesh.InstanceCount, which can be different to VisibleInstanceCount luckily). Each time we want to go beyond the current InstanceCount, we clear all buffers, double the capacity, and then set the new instance count to that capacity. So it goes 4, 8, 16, 32...

This also means having to track the positions of objects locally, as when the buffers are cleared we lose all data.

1. For performance reasons, we're going to set the Buffer array directly on MultiMesh rather than use SetInstanceTransform() on each. Therefore we need to:

Create the transform:
Transform3D transform = new Transform3D(Basis.FromEuler(new Vector3(0, rotation, 0)).Scaled(scale), position);
And then put that into a list of arrays:
return new float[] { transform[0][0], transform[1][0], transform[2][0], transform[3][0],
transform[0][1], transform[1][1], transform[2][1], transform[3][1],
transform[0][2], transform[1][2], transform[2][2], transform[3][2] };
Later we'll unpack all of these when we're doing an UpdateAll. They will get "added" to the giant MultiMesh Buffer array.

1. The last piece of the puzzle is the actual culling. There are two ways:

Firstly, we cull by what is behind the camera. While not as effective as doing a frustrum cull, it's just easielazier to not have to deal with objects popping on the side of the screen. There might be an easy way if anyone knows!
There is a method in Godot on the Camera3D for checking if a position is behind the camera. But I found it faster to replace it with the Godot method where you use the Mathf Dot product.
To get even better performance, I replaced it with System.Numerics.Vector3 Dot.
Quick performance comparison:
Camera IsPositionBehind() - 1.16ms on 16,384 objects Godot Mathf Class - 0.51ms C# Maths - 0.07ms
For those wondering "is this due to marshalling / C#-C++ overhead?" The answer is probably no - the Godot Mathf class is in fact re-written for C# as far as I can tell. I understand that IsPositionBehind will be slower because I think it does use C++ AND in the other two methods I am caching as much as I can before looping through them. But I honestly cannot see a reason why Godot Mathf would be considerably slower than using C#.
The second test is to simply test the distance. Again, using System.Numerics.Vector3 LengthSquared instead of Godot's math helped. Caching the camera transform data into System Numerics variants is important to avoid many conversions.
By combining multiple of these, you can have a mesh that only shows in the far distance and others that only show up close to get the benefits of LODs.
Final Words
I kind of threw this together, so I'm sorry if it doesn't make complete sense. Feel free to ask anything!

DAE feel like your mask is instinctual/intrinsic rather than a society-forced on you thing? Idk if that’s just a PDA thing? I’m pretty sure I have an internal pda profile and one of the things Sally cat mentions when talking about it, is that it seems like the mask we wear is kinda just with us from birth. It makes a lot of sense for me, along with being the eldest only daughter of four boys (I’m in the middle)- I feel like I learned from a young age “it doesn’t matter how you feel just fix it.” And also “if you let any feelings out people will see” and being vulnerable is basically a death sentence.
But I think it comes down to fight or flight. As I was writing this out before I kinda realized that bc my fear response is usually to freeze and fawn which comes off as people pleasing, but it’s not really it’s ALWAYS self-preservation. So I feel it would make sense for especially internalized PDAers bc vulnerability feels like a threat to my autonomy bc I feel like it’s changing peoples carefully constructed perception of me and also it’s private I don’t want to be perceived like that !! If I’m not at home I generally cannot just shut down. Even if I feel like I have no words- my little Freeze and Fawn brain will force some out anyways and it never feels like my words. I went to Disney with a friend last year and by the end of the day we were both overstimulated and overwhelmed, we stood in the middle of the side walk bc I didn’t know where to go for fireworks as I’ve only been once as an adult and we didn’t stay. She was just shut down so I had to of course figure it out. But I was exhausted and overwhelmed too and I would have loved to shut down. Instead I just had a meltdown when I got back to my room, ofc 😜
But I feel like any time something like this happens- my mask just kicks in. It’s useful but exhausting and frustrating bc I feel like people don’t take me as seriously bc I’m usually “fine” but I just don’t know how to be anything but fine. Genuinely if I feel unsafe or threatened or like my autonomy/vulnerability is on the line- my nervous system gets triggered and I think that’s why it feels like my mask is instinctive- bc it’s really a fear response that kicks into high gear so no one ever thinks anything is wrong and god forbid asks me if I’m ok. Anyone else? I obviously can’t say for certain but it makes a lot of sense I think

What's up Panda's?
As someone who's always looking to save a buck wherever possible, I've spent quite a bit of time figuring out how to keep my car insurance rates low. I thought I’d share my strategies with you all, so here's everything I do to make sure I’m not overpaying for car insurance:

1. Shop Around Annually: Insurance rates vary widely between companies. Each year, I take some time to compare rates from different insurers to ensure I'm getting the best deal. It's surprising how much you can save by just shopping around!
2. Bundle Policies: I've bundled my car insurance with my homeowner’s insurance. Most insurers offer a significant discount for multiple policies. It simplifies my payments too!
3. Maintain a Good Credit Score: Many people don't realize that your credit score can affect your insurance rates. I keep my credit score high by paying bills on time and keeping my credit utilization low.
4. Drive Safely: This one might be obvious, but avoiding accidents and traffic violations keeps my insurance rates down. Insurers often offer discounts for good drivers, so it pays to drive cautiously.
5. Use a Higher Deductible: Opting for a higher deductible can significantly lower your premiums. I make sure I have enough saved to cover the deductible in case of an accident.
6. Take Advantage of Discounts: I always ask about discounts. Many companies offer reductions for things like anti-theft devices, being a good student, or even for driving a low number of miles each year.
7. Drive a Less Expensive Car: High-end cars are more expensive to insure. I stick to models that are cheaper to repair and aren’t targeted as often by thieves.
8. Review My Coverage: I regularly review my coverage to make sure it's not more than I need. For example, older cars might not need comprehensive coverage if they're not worth much.
9. Attend Defensive Driving Courses: Some insurers offer a discount if you complete an approved defensive driving course. Plus, it’s a great way to brush up on safe driving techniques.
10. Stay Informed: I keep myself updated on any changes in the insurance industry that might affect my rates, such as new laws or changes in technology.

By following these steps, I’ve managed to keep my car insurance rates reasonably low without compromising on coverage. Hope this helps you too!
What are your tips for keeping car insurance costs down? Let’s share and help each other out!

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Closed my entire damn exam and had to ask the proctor for help. Lost about 5-6 precious minutes I coulda used for the SIMs 🫠
edit: how did it happen? I was trying to figure out the cell anchor shortcut in Prometric's vers of Excel

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

So I accidently started playing warframe in my cousins nintendo account and I just figured this out. I now have a low mr account on my actual one. How do I get my stuff back. I don't really care about progress but more about the mods and stuff. Can I create my own clan to give me my stuff back? Like using the clan vault?

Bud be gone 16 years later this month. Don’t hardly seem possible. Still remember him as if I just saw and spoke to him yesterday. The way of it. Miss him a lot, and so does Momma. Also the way of it. Get to thinking about him a lot this time each year.
Not as raw and brutal as it used to be. Had some dark days for both of us for quite a while. Again, the way of it. But acceptance comes eventually, when there’s no other choice.
I try to console myself that he lived life large in the 21 years he had - didn’t waste ‘em. Got to see and do places and things that comparatively few do. Was involved in things he felt were important.
I loved him dearly, and was admiring and proud of the man he’d become. And I told him so quite often. Advice from someone who’d not always as bright as he might be, but who nevertheless understands some basic things: say what Should be said when you have the chance. The words are important, even if they already know. Don’t, and the day might come when it’s now too late to.
He was the wild one of our brood - seems like every family has one. Not troublesome in any way for Momma and me. He asked me a serious question once, when he was 16: “Dad, you and Mom hardly ever whipped us when we were kids. How come?”
And my answer a simple one: “We didn’t need to. You were good kids.” He’d thought that over, and nodded his acceptance.
A disciplinary problem aboard his ship sometimes, though, and this didn’t surprise either of us. A different world with different rules. And he never accepted insult from anyone from the time he was small - just not in his nature. Push, and he’d push back.
But by every account we heard, very serious and disciplined when it came to his job. This didn’t surprise us, either. His primary rating Firefighter aboard ship, he’d often complain that the training wasn’t Realistic enough. To the extent that a superior had remarked once in exasperation: “Well, we can’t set the damn ship on fire for you, Bud!”
Well-known and liked throughout the crew, he was something of a minor legend among them. Famous (or infamous - take your pick) for the situations he got himself into to the point that after a while, anyone in trouble beyond the usual was referred to as having “Pulled a Bud.”
Fighting several members of Shore Patrol on one memorable occasion: “It took six of ‘em to get him under control and back to the ship, Mr. OP.” A friend.
With several members of the local PD on an even more memorable one, when he took offense at the treatment of a shipmate.
He’d paid for that one on the way to and at the station. Being thrown headlong down a set of cement stairs with his hands still cuffed behind his back he figured he’d had coming. Ditto with then being picked up and rammed headfirst into a cinder block wall.
Being stripped naked, tossed in a cell, and having a fire hose turned on him every hour on the hour all night he’d objected to: “That shit was Cold, Pop! And it was fucking unnecessary! I catch any of ‘em out alone, I got somethin’ for their ass!”
“You gotta stop this shit, Bud.”
“……Sigh…I know. Do me a favor - don’t tell Mom?”
“I don’t intend to.”
“……Pop?”
“Yeah?”
“Captain says the same thing. Says this is my last chance…….Why’s he giving me another chance, after all the trouble I’ve caused?”
“Because he sees something in you he wants to keep - something of value to the ship. You can be counted on to do your job, no matter what. That carries a lot of weight in the civilian world - more so in the military.”
“…..You think so?”
“I know so.”
One of the last conversations, and over the phone, we’d ever have.
An old Chief remarked to us: “Bud was a throwback. He reminded me of the fighting Sailors of my own youth. I hadn’t met another quite like him in a good many years. He’ll be missed.”
His Captain remarked to me: “He turned it around, Mr. OP. It was as if he made a decision. There wasn’t another single incident of insubordination or anything else. In all my years of service, I’ve never seen anyone do so complete a 180. He’d made his mind up, and that was that. But I guess I don’t have to tell you that. He was actually due for promotion. Did you know that?”
I had. Bud had told me he’d studied for and passed the test. Perfect score, or near enough. He’d broken his hand at the time. A timed test, and his writing hand, he’d been afraid the cast would slow him down too much, so he’d cut it off and gone to get it redone afterward.
Last time I spoke to him, he had some shipmates were in Galveston during Mardi Gras. Out on the promenade. Sounds of revelry in the background. Shakedown cruise in preparation for another deployment.
Presently, to his impatient shipmates: “Just give me a damn minute, all right?! Listen, I guess I better go. Love you, Pop. And tell Mom that for me when she gets home, ok?”
“I will. Love you, too, Bud.”
Good last words to remember, I guess.
All through the days and nights we’d spent in the hospital, waiting, and hoping against hope, Momma and I hadn’t been alone. My brothers were there with us, having driven in from out of state. My sister. Mother.
And his crew. Day and night, young men and women waiting with us in great numbers. Lying sleeping on the floor against the walls lining the corridors, when all other spaces had been taken. None of the hospital staff asking them to leave.
Ship’s Officers and senior Enlisted spending as much time there as presentations for deployment would permit. Checking in in person with us and hospital staff about his condition at least once a day.
And nearly all of them with a story or two to tell about Bud. Many of them funny. For that was who he was, too. He could always make people laugh. Someone being down in his presence he couldn’t abide, and he always knew how to fix that.
It was as if they Needed to. And that Momma and I understood, as well. We’d known him all his life, and we could see that they knew him, too. So we were patient, and we listened.
The day finally came when we were told there was no longer any hope at all. He’d never regained consciousness, and now there was no more brain activity at all. He was gone.
His XO was there with us when we were told, and that large, strong man wept bitterly and unashamedly. I think that probably doesn’t happen often.
Momma and I were alone the next day, in a seated waiting area next to the elevators. Waiting, just the two of us, not speaking much. Everyone had given us that space to ourselves. Sensed that we needed it, I suppose.
The first man arriving with a refrigerated transport case arrived, and took the elevator down. He seemed in a hurry. A man who desperately needed Bud’s strong heart was waiting, and time was of the essence.
Momma and I watched the doors close behind him. Then we both got up, and hand in hand, walked away. It was finished now. The book of his life was closed, though in a sense it never would be.
A few months previous, he’d registered as an organ donor. His choice.
His heart went to a 31-yr-old man in need of a new one.
A young woman in North Dakota sees through his eyes.
Many others were helped, as well. His parting gifts.
Talking to the coordinator of the donor program at the hospital at a later date, I was informed that the man’s new heart was functioning perfectly. He had, in fact, been going to the gym and hitting the weights. Something he’d had no interest in before.
“Lifting and bodybuilding were some of Bud’s passions” I replied.
“I’ve been doing this for a long time” the man had replied in kind. “And you’d be astonished at how many times something like that happens; the recipient unknowingly taking on attributes of the donor. No one can explain it.”

This is a thing that has always irked me deeply.
People are one way towards a person while they're alive, but after they've died, suddenly they are overly nice and complimenting and gooey about them, and it honestly grosses me out.
Why didn't they say all those sweet things to that person while they were alive so that they could actually enjoy their kind words?
Sure, in some cases it might be that they took the person's existence for granted and compliments weren't part of their general interactions, I understand that, but then say that as part of your public message about them...
But I think, all too often the things they are saying publicly about the dead are things they've never thought about them at all, and them saying those fake things feels like a performance for the living, trying to show what a compassionate person they are... Some kind of display of their moral humanity or something.
The fakeness feels like a horrible insult to the dead in my opinion. Maybe if the dead person loved fake pleasantries they would like it, but not many people do I don't think...
It feels like people are USING a person's death for their own personal social status gain and it's deeply disgusting to me.
My granny was a pretty unfriendly, snooty, posh and frankly nit-picky and annoying lady. But at the same time she was really true to herself, did what she wanted how she wanted to against what society told her to do, and didn't participate in pointless small talk. Her death was even so fitting to her because she died doing something she was explicitly told not to do for her own safety but she did it anyway.
She had a stand-offish nature but was never unkind to me. She always answered my questions and was pleasant enough, but she wasn't the type to go out of her way to talk to a child lol. We were to call her by her name and not call her granny. I honestly think she was just a bit awkward and not sure how to be a friendly social person, and I'm glad she wasn't fake about it.
My mom told me stories of how she was quite snobby about her passions because she was so serious and advance about them, a bit of a gate keeper in the olden days, but when she recognised someone showing genuine interest in it she would advise them and talk excitedly with them for ages about it. She never acted like she liked someone if she didn't, and even if that's not socially inviting, she didn't care, and I appreciate that kind of genuineness to oneself and others. As far as I know she was able to be cordial with people she didn't like, so it's not like she attacked them, but she wasn't fake nice to them either. She was an unusual character with a really strong unique flavour. I honestly think she would have been right at home in some 19th century British royal aristocracy setting. I've never met anyone quite like her. And family gatherings after her death had a very noticeable and distinct hole in them where she belonged.
And that's probably why I feel extra gross when my family posts publicly about her on anniversaries and the words they use are so sappy, not fitting, and just not genuine at all. They're writing imaginary words about an imaginary person. Why can't they say that they miss her sassy takes on their conversations, or her unique unwavering character that was genuinely one of a kind? Or just say nothing at all if you don't have anything nice or interesting to say...
And also, don't pretend a dead person was never annoying or never did anything bad ever. So disingenuous. That woman had some awful old fashioned opinions, and I can feel her revulsion beyond the grave if I would ever suggest she could have been autistic lol. It feels like I'm being cursed beyond the grave now. Maybe that's why people don't say real things about the dead! lol
Anyway, just wanted to rant about this and wondered if anyone else here felt the same...

Babette's Feast (1987) is a highly regarded arthouse film with strong spiritual themes. It won an Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, and has received much critical acclaim. But is it simply something pretentious, or is the respect its gained well deserved? And does it even have something serious to say?
The film introduces us to the two sisters Martine and Filippa, who are part of a very strict Puritanical and ascetic Protestant church group that was started by their father. He’s now deceased, although the first part of the film does show us some of the background, where they spurn the love of two young men in favour of the ascetic lifestyle taught by their father. The main story begins when we see them as aging spinsters, giving refuge to a needy woman from France, who is our central character, Babette.
After she wins the lottery, Babette wants to express her gratitude to her hosts for 14 years of their hospitality by cooking them with a sumptuous meal on what would have been their father’s 100th birthday. Afraid of enjoying earthly pleasure, the ascetic group solemnly agrees in advance that they will act as if the delightful food and drink doesn't have any real taste. But can they really maintain this illusion when the food is that good? Aside from this main storyline, the film also touches on some inner conflicts among the church group.
The film is in the French language, although the version I watched had an optional soundtrack with a dubbed English voice-over. Despite not knowing French, I found it far more enjoyable to use English subtitles along with the original French soundtrack. This maintains the more subtle voice inflections of the actors, and it’s surprising how much of the authenticity and impact is lost without this.
But why is this film so charming, and what has made it such a success? Aren’t we basically just watching a group of people solemnly eating a meal? Cynics will find a lot to make fun of here. But for those prepared to chew a little, there’s more than what meets the eye. To begin with, the characterization is excellent, and the depiction of the two single ladies who have forsaken everything for their faith is particularly well done. Babette’s humble service and her extravagant gift, along with all its culinary delights, is beautifully presented, in a slow-moving and serene way.
In many respects Babette's Feast first and foremost shows the foolishness of a faith that is artificial and ascetic. The feast that Babette prepares highlights the hypocrisy of the religious sect, by exposing the foolishness of their religion of externals. The Protestant group is blind to the value of the gift they are enjoying, contrasting with the visiting General and with Babette, who see and understand how things really are. There seems to be an implied critique on such ascetic religious groups, with the General functioning as a character who is enlightened despite his simplicity. True religion doesn’t just practice piety, but there also finds room to enjoy life’s pleasures.
But there is more going on besides this obvious message. Many commentators have suggested that Babette is essentially a Christ-like figure, because she gives a gift of grace in a meal that has overtones of Christ's last supper. This interpretation gives her meal a sacramental quality, and when viewed in this light, it gives a whole new perspective on the film. There may be something to this, because there is a sense in which Babette selfishly sacrifices all she has for her two patrons. Reading what Catholic reviewers like Stephen Greydanus have to say about the sacramental aspect of the film is especially interesting (link to his review). Other reviewers suggest a Lutheran interpretation, and focus more on how the film depicts a marriage between the spiritual and the carnal. Given the Danish setting, a Lutheran background to the theology is also very plausible.
You’ll find a wide range of theological interpretations among critics, so there is lots of room for discussion here. I'd be reluctant to insist on a particular interpretation, because it seems to me that the film already does us a service by stimulating such discussions, rather than coming to definitive conclusions on them.
But clearly the film does want us thinking about theology, because Martine and Filippa are named after the Protestant Reformers Martin Luther and Philipp Melanchton. Central to Protestant theology is the notion that good deeds are not done to earn a heavenly reward, but are a grateful response to a God-given gift of grace. Ironically, it’s Babette’s generous gift that captures this spirit more than the combined piety of the two sisters and their religious group. It’s possible to be so intent on pursuing piety that one misses the point of life, and fails to enjoy grace and the pleasures God gives.
The suggestion has been made by some that Babette's feast helps change the characters, and causes old quarrels to be healed, and past sins to be genuinely forgiven. If so, this raises interesting questions about the nature of sacraments, and how they function. But I’m left wondering whether it really is the film’s goal to suggest that the sacramental quality of the feast helps dispense grace and solve the sharp differences and shortcomings within the small group. For example, many reviewers see the positive discussions that the group has about their religious leader while enjoying the meal as evidence of its transforming quality.
But does this elaborate feast really transform the characters who share in it, like a sacramental eucharist might do? I’m not convinced, because it seems to me that these conversations could equally be their way of desperately avoiding talking about the gift itself, by turning to pious talk that had nothing to do with the food, and are evidence that they’re stubbornly persisting with their religious blindness. But perhaps repeated viewings of the film might cause me to reconsider this view.
The film also raises interesting questions about the value of art, as is evident from what the famous opera singer Achille Papin says about art in the afterlife. This conversation returns in the film’s concluding words to Babette about her art as chef. Filippa echoes what Papin had said to her, promising that in paradise Babette will be the great artist God intended her to be. An artist will always give their best, and that’s exactly what Babette’s extravagant feast is.
Clearly there’s more to Babette’s Feast than meets the eye, and I feel I’ve only scratched the surface of its meaning. Extensive full length academic papers have been written about it, some of which can be found online. For me anyway, spending time at Babette’s table has only increased my appetite to find out more about this thoughtful film. I'd love to get insights and perspectives from others who have enjoyed it.

Hi all, I will try to be as specific as possible but apologies as this is my first post. (Context: I know some Chinese characters but I only know their Vietnamese pronunciations, not Mandarin etc, so this is the quickest way for me to type Chinese characters.)
At present I can type a word of Vietnamese and render it in Hán-Nôm (roughly, Chinese characters) as follows:
1/ Switch to Vietnamese-language input (I'm using VNI; there are multiple IMEs) with a keyboard shortcut
2/ Type the word, e.g. 'cộng' is achieved by typing 'cong65'
3/ Highlight the word 'cộng' manually, by clicking and dragging
4/ Click on the input source menu at the taskbar and then click on 'Convert to Hán-Nôm'
5/ Select the appropriate Chinese character from the pop-up list, either by clicking or by typing its number in the list. This will give eg '共'.
6/ Press the space bar and continue typing.
I want to create a keyboard shortcut which removes the need for 3/ and 4/. Is this possible? Thanks!

Every Saturday and Sunday you may post photos of your fragrance collection for Show & Tell Weekend.
Please list the names of all the fragrances in your photo in the text of your post (required).
You may post your whole collection or just a selected part of it. Please tell us something about your collection, such as:

• when you started collecting fragrances
• what are your favorites
• which one did you buy first, or which one is the latest addition
• is your collection built around any particular themes or styles

The purpose of collection posts is to talk about the fragrances that you have already collected. We discourage asking for recommendations or "what's missing," as well as "rate" and "roast" type posts. The most popular collection posts tell stories and/or give mini-reviews of at least some of the fragrances.
HOW TO MAKE A PHOTO POST ON FRAGRANCE

Actual legit player here. Today I’m gonna go through my analysis of the types of personalities that cheat in cs. The final one I respect.

1. Literal twink with degradation fetish:

Now I don’t use twink derogatorily, I mean it factually. Actual gay 140 pound femboys who love being degraded by big sweaty angry online men, they get off on it. Like actually. I say this with confidence because I’ve had the gayest sounding cheater randoms on my team before. Very sassy. One time I had one “not leaving spawn until you apologize to me” cause I called him out for cheats and said he’s being way too obvious. (We won anyways).

1. Guys who like making other people upset:

These guys’ usernames are always something like: “valorunt pro”, “I’m better than you”, “cs god”. You name it, they want to get on your nerves, they love it, it’s why they cheat, they love attention even if it’s negative. (I’ve had games where if you just ignore their shit talk in chat and don’t go all “YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS GAME CHEATER SCUM KYS I HATE YOU GAHHH THIS ONE GAME IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME.” they literally just teamkill eachother and abandon til they’re all gone. If there’s no reaction to them it’s a waste of time. These guys often spam chat with slurs lol.

1. Guys who cheat because they want praise from their team:

Although we need a psych evaluation on #2 these guys are far more fascinating to me, mentally anyways. Also depressing. These are the guys who just maybe need some friends, who just want to be recognized for something positive and cool. But they suck!!! Or they just don’t want to put in the work, either way these guys are usually meek and softer spoken. They just could use a hug or something. Typically actually pretty nice guys, like I said, incredibly depressing. I’ve had some of these guys get apologetic and sad sounding when you call them out with certainty. Bummer.

1. The guy who needs to justify his cheats:

Ever hit a nice one deag (or even a regular ol easy shot) and the guy with the brand new account goes “lol” or “k” or “yeah right”? (a million ways to accuse someone of hacks without outright saying it). Then for the rest of the game just blatantly cheats lol. I’ve had these guys ‘toggle’ (they were def cheating before) because of HEADSHOTS ON PISTOL ROUND. Absolutely retard levels of cope in this archetype. I guess if you’re a cheating trashcan that means anyone better than you is also cheating. Wild shit.

1. The blatant waller who ‘heard you’:

These guys feel the need to type in chat after EVERY KILL (not just one but every single one almost) that you did something to reveal yourself. You might say “well maybe they did hear you, why accuse them?” No. These guys, without ANY accusations in chat will justify from the get-go how they get every single kill. Imagine someone kills you and types “wtf I’m not cheating.” When they were never prompted once. Not even with a “?”.

1. Cheater accusing others of cheating:

Well well well looks like little retard closet shitter met a bigger fish. These guys are more of a subset of closet cheaters and not their own type. I’ve had guys who blatantly closet all game and will CRY in the chat that someone MUST be cheating on the other team. I mean how could he possibly not be able to kill these guys right? MUST BE CHEATING. These guys differ from #4 a bit cause these guys don’t ragehack but just cry and cry in all chat. They never turn it up a notch. Just continuing to trace ppl through walls yet their preaims are dogshit. Go play Roblox or something if you can’t go positive with cheats. Weird statistic is these guys sound fatter than the other cheaters, every time. Like especially with extra fat on their necks cause it creates a specific fat guy acoustic.

1. The guy hiding his cheats so hard he’s USELESS:

This one is particularly funny, watching these guys’ pov is always interesting cause at one point in the game you’ll be watch him check some insane obscure off angle perfectly then for the rest of the game buddy is a braindead retard. These guys will willingly swing looking the wrong ways to sell it, or just do shit that doesn’t make sense in terms of gamesense (for all you retarded cheaters out there, a part of gamesense is your understanding of where the enemies could be due to your DEDUCTION SKILLS and not walls, crazy I know). These guys never spray through smokes, and react purposefully slow to killing enemies on the edges of smokes. Any normal player wouldn’t bother considering what looks sus if they know when/why they’re spamming walls/smokes. Definitely play it way too safe.

1. Lastly, but not least. The only cheater archetype I have any kind of respect for:

THE CHINESE BUSINESSMEN.
These guys will not say or type anything all game. Strictly business only, they don’t care what anyone says to them. These fine gentlemen are just simply ranking up the account, then selling them. These guys actually get some of value out of their time. Probably not a lot of money, but still money. Truly just entrepreneurs of an era. Hats off to them.
Did I miss any? Let me know. These are just the personalities I’ve run into. You’re all such interesting people I can’t wait to meet more of you.

Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.

Community Rules

1. Kindness Matters

Advise, don't criticize.

• Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
• Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
• No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
• Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
• This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.

2. No Drama

This is a support sub.

• Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
• Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
• Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
• Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.

3. Report, Don’t Rant

No backseat modding.

• If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
• No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
• If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.

4. No Naming & Shaming

No userpings or links.

• Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
• If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.

5. No Platitudes

Nobody knew what they were getting into.

• Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
• Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
• Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.

6. No Trolling

We have zero tolerance for trolls.

• This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
• Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
• Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.

7. No Personally Identifiable Information

Use discretion when posting.

• We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
• Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
• Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
• Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.

8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours

Use the daily threads.

• We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.

9. Follow Reddiquette

Remember the human.

• Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
• Read it in full here.
• Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
• If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
• Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.

10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval

Just don't.

• This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
• Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
• No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
• No advertising without prior mod approval.
• No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
• For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.

11. Disputes in Modmail Only

Don't argue with the mods on the sub.

• Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
• This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
• Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.

12. Moderator Actions

We aren't kidding.

• Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
• Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
• If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
• New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
• We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
• The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
• We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
• The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.

13. Ban Procedure

These actions are at moderator discretion.

• Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
• Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
• You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
• Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
• Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
• We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.

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​

FAQ - About the Rules

What does Kindness Matters mean?

• Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
• The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
• Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.

What about being kind to the kids?

• "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
• If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
• Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.

Why is this sub such an echo chamber?

• Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
• If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
• If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.

Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?

• Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
• Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
• Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.

But OP asked if they were an asshole?!

• Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
• If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.

What is a gendered slur?

• While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
• We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
• Examples that are not allowed:
  • "My SD is such a little bitch."
  • "She dresses/acts like a slut."
  • "My SS acts like a pussy."
  • "My SS is such a beta male."
  • "You are all fucking whores."
  • "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
  • "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
  • "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
• Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
• Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
• As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.

Seriously? You are the language police now?

• We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
• We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.

What does No Drama really mean?

• Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.

What is thread derailment?

• When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
• If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.

But what if they didn't answer my question?

• No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.

Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!

• Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.

Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?

• No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
• Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
  • Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
  • Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
• Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
  • Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
  • Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."

Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?

• We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.

What if it's my own post?

• Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.

What is "brigading"?

• Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
• Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
• Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
• Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
• We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.

What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?

• If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.

What if I see an obvious troll?

• Report it.

What if they are being really mean in comments?

• Report it.

What if they are harassing me in private messages?

• Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
• Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
• Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.

What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?

• Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.

I can't link to other subs?

• Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
• Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")

I can't ping other users?

• Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
• If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")

What does No Platitudes mean?

• Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.

Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?

• Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
• This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.

Why can't you just love them like they are your own?

• Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.

What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...

• No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.

What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?

• That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.

What is "Concern Trolling?"

• A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
  • Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
  • Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."

What is a "Devil's Advocate"?

• "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.

"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?

• The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.

And "sealioning?" What's that?

• Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.

Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?

• The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.

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​

FAQ - Sub Questions

Posting Guidelines for Stepparents

• Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
• Assign a post flair that accurately describes what your post is about and what you are seeking. If you are posting an update from a previous post, include a link to that post.
• Flairs are applied to posts to determine what a person is looking for. When submitting a new post, you should choose a flair that specifies if you are looking for advice, support, etc. The following link flair is available and is color coded with side bar links so that you can search by flair:
  • Advice - For when you are specifically asking for advice or help.
  • Announcement - Mod Use Only, for subreddit announcements.
  • Daily (Formerly TTP) - Mod Use Only, for our daily discussion threads.
  • Discussion - A little advice, a little "How does your family handle this?"
  • JustBMThings - Pretty sure this is self explanatory!
  • Legal - Asking for legal advice? Tag it with this!
  • Miscellany - Just a sort of off topic thing? Use this tag.
  • Resource - Sharing a good resource or asking for one? This is the tag you need!
  • Support - For those days when you want nothing but a good old fashioned cry and some community love.
  • Update - Updating us on something that you posted about previously? Use this one!
  • Vent - We all need to vent sometimes. Respect the tag as a vent. This isn't how OP talks all day every day.
  • Win! - Celebrate those wins with us with this tag!
  • Megathread - Mod Use Only, for large mega threads (typically around major calendar events.)

Posting Guidelines for Bioparents

• Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
• There are some posts from bioparents we will accept:
  • Seeking advice on how to support your partner as they navigate stepparenting
  • Seeking resources to help you better support your partner
  • Seeking resources for your partner
• There are some posts from bioparents we will not accept:
  • Complaints about how the stepparent is too involved in your kids lives
  • Vents about how the stepparent is not involved enough in your kids lives
  • "Cautionary tales" advising stepparents to back off
  • Seeking advice on how to tell the stepparent to back off
  • The Do's and Dont's of Stepparenting
  • How your kid's stepmom is literally The Worst
• Comments from bioparents that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from bioparents that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. There are several other subs that may meet the needs of bioparents better than we can. We recommend /coparenting, /parenting, /parents, /blendedfamilies, and /singleparents as starting points.

Guidelines for Stepkids

• At this time, we do not generally accept posts from stepkids. Comments from stepkids that are helpful and supportive are welcome and appreciated. Comments from stepkids that are not helpful or supportive are not welcome and subject to removal. If you are a stepkid seeking support, we highly recommend /stepkids. It is a very supportive community specifically for stepkids. We also recommend /blendedfamilies as another potential group for support.

What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!

• Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.

Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?

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Why was my comment removed?

• Comments are removed when they do not follow the rules of the sub. These rules are published in several places for your reading pleasure.
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This comment/post is really offensive! Why is it still up?

• All moderators are volunteers and have busy real lives. Sometimes things get past us. The best thing you can do is report anything you find offensive or inflammatory. It's the quickest and most reliable way of alerting us to an issue.

I've received a hurtful/unwanted PM from someone about my recent post. What should I do?

• If you receive an unwanted/hurtful PM from a name you don't recognize, please report it to Reddit Admins using our handy pre-populated form. Be sure to include the permalink to the message. We've been dealing with a few unhappy folks who like to attack stepparents, and reporting it to the admins is the only way to make it stop.

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I've been wrongly banned/Why can't I comment here?

• Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.

Why was I banned without warning?

• There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.

Just got bit by some pretty confusing behaviour with server actions in NextJS, and thought I'd share in case anyone else runs into the same thing, so there's something on Google.
If you add "use server" to the top of a file, all functions exported from that file will be implicitly marked as async and changed to return promises even if they are not async functions, and even when called by functions in the same file.
How did I run into this and why is it a problem?
As described in the docs, I created a server action in a separate file with "use server" at the top. The implementation of this server action included some reasonably complex logic which needed to be called multiple times within the body of the action, so I extracted this logic out to a non-async, pure helper function in the same file. Everything works fine.
I then decide to write some unit tests for the complex logic, so I export the function to make it available in tests. I write the unit tests, and they pass. Then I fire up the app again, and it is broken - what happened?? All I did was write a (passing) unit test?
I was pretty confused, so added a bunch of console.logs and tried to figure out what was going on. I saw that somehow some of the data being processed by the action was in a Promise that seemed to have come out of nowhere. I was completely flummoxed, until I happened to remember that the previous day I'd tried to export a zod schema from a server action file for use by callers, and I'd got a runtime error that said only functions could be exported from a server action file. I tried removing the export and everything worked again.
I've no idea what goes on under the hood to make server actions work, but I guess that what was happening was my helper function was itself being converted to a second "server action", and that conversion happens at the point of definition rather than at the point of usage within a component (which is how I had intuitively expected it to be). So it could be a reasonable restriction that only server actions can be exported from a file with "use server" - but I really hope the React team come up with a less confusing way to let people know they are inadvertently creating a server action instead of a helper function.

Please use this thread to ask any lawn care questions that you may have. There are no stupid questions. This includes weed, fungus, insect, and grass identification. For help on asking a question, please refer to the "How to Get the Most out of Your Post" section at the top of the sidebar.
Check out the sidebar if you're interested in more information on plant hardiness zones, identifying problems, weed control, fertilizer, establishing grass, and organic methods. Also, you may contact your local Cooperative Extension Service for local info.
How to Get the Most out of Your Post:

Include a photo of the problem. You can upload to imgur.com for free and it's easy to do. One photo should contain enough information for people to understand the immediate area around the problem (dense shade, extremely sloped, etc.). Other photos should include close-ups of the grass or weed in question: such as this, this, or this. The more photos or context to the situation will help us identify the problem and propose some solutions.

Useful Links:

Guides & Calculators: Measure Your Lawn • Make a Property Map • Herbicide Application Calculators • Fertilizing Lawns • Grow From Seed • Grow From Sod • Organic Lawn Care • Other Lawn Calculators
Lawn Pest Control: Weeds & What To Use • Common Weeds • What's Wrong Here? • How To Spray Weeds • MSU Weed ID Tool • Is This a Weed? • Herbicide Types • ID Turf Diseases • Fungi & Control Options • Insects & Control Options
Fertilizing: Fertilizing Lawns • How To Spread Granular Fertilizer • Natural Lawn Care • Fertilizer Calculator
US Cooperative Extension Services: Arkansas - University of Arkansas • California - UC Davis • Florida - University of Florida • Indiana - Purdue University • Nebraska - University of Nebraska-Lincoln • New Hampshire - The University of New Hampshire • New Jersey - Rutgers University • New York - Cornell University • Ohio - The Ohio State University • Oregon - Oregon State University • Texas - Texas A&M • Vermont - The University of Vermont
Canadian Cooperative Extension Services: Ontario - University of Guelph

Recurring Threads:

Daily No Stupid Questions Thread • Mowsday Monday • Treatment Tuesday • Weed ID Wednesday • That Didn't Go Well Thursday • Finally Friday: Weekend Lawn Plans • Soil Saturday • Lawn of the Month • Monthly Mower Megathread • Monthly Professionals Podium • Tri-Annual Thatch Thread • Quarterly Seed & Sod Megathread

Welcome to the daily /Coffee question thread!
There are no stupid questions here, ask a question and get an answer! We all have to start somewhere and sometimes it is hard to figure out just what you are doing right or doing wrong. Luckily, the /Coffee community loves to help out.
Do you have a question about how to use a specific piece of gear or what gear you should be buying? Want to know how much coffee you should use or how you should grind it? Not sure about how much water you should use or how hot it should be? Wondering about your coffee's shelf life?
Don't forget to use the resources in our wiki! We have some great starter guides on our wiki "Guides" page and here is the wiki "Gear By Price" page if you'd like to see coffee gear that /Coffee members recommend.
As always, be nice!