It's all the phlem build up from smelling the canals and cattle shit.
You were all caughing over each others cheese and apples on a market back in the day so some visionary figured out a way to pronounce a letter G that way.
That way you don't caugh over waffles and you aren't in danger of being left on an island or burned because you're sick and a threat to the village.

What's this?: Each month in Doctor Who Magazine they have a column by Russell T Davies (formerly 'Letter from the Showrunner', before that 'Production Notes') - a column by someone involved in the production of Doctor Who, and normally in the form of either the showrunner writing pieces about writing Doctor Who or the showrunner answering reader-submitted questions. Because these pieces and questions have often been used as a source for blogs to write misleading stories, they started being typed up for /gallifrey.
Hey thanks for doing this! Now I don't have to buy it: Yes you do, otherwise you'll be missing out on: in-depth previews of the first three episodes of the new series (Space Babies, The Devil's Chord, Boom); a joint interview with four of the stars of The Devil's Cord - Chris Mason (John Lennon), George Caple (Paul McCartney), Philip Davies (George Harrison), and James Hoyles (Ringo Starr); an in-depth interview with Jinkx Monsoon (Maestro); an interview with Anita Dobson (Mrs Flood); a feature on the construction and design of 'Jimbo' (the robot from Wild Blue Yonder); a deconstruction of "Smith and Jones"; the final part of DWM's Fifteenth Doctor comic-strip "Mancopolis"; reviews for all of this month's DVD/CD/Book releases and EVEN MORE.
It's available physically in shops and digitally via Pocketmags.com!
Want an archive of the previous Production Notes that have been posted on /gallifrey?: Follow this link.
I bumped into Sarah Lancashire recently. I said, "Matron Cofelia!" Without a pause, she replied, "Of the Five-Straiten Classabindi Nursery Fleet, intergalactic class." She still remembers!
I love those mad Doctor Who words, all those names and proper nouns that we'll remember forever. And now here comes a brand-new batch. Will we ever see Mondo Caroon? Where exactly is Bertie Lester? And how many people does it take to fly an Asteroid Hopper? All those words and more are hurtling towards you, starting May 11!
Here in the Doctor Who factory at Bad Wolf, we're clanking away, still shooting the climax of Season 2 - which includes the words "tinderbox", "Croydon" and "threshold", and oh, I wish you could see that guest star - but a lot of our focus has gone on to the most important thing of all, the launch of Season 1. By the time you read this, we'll be on the verge of our premiere in London, and then we're zooming off to launch the show in New York and LA too. Showbiz!
But be warned, screenings mean that spoilers will start to flow. And I know that's a tricky issue for some viewers, with episodes dropping at midnight on the BBC iPlayer, before they're shown that evening on BBC One. Doctor Who has had all sorts of transmission patterns over the years, with lots of bumps and changes. I can remember 1996, standing in the queue outside HMV at midnight to buy a VHS copy of Paul McGann's Doctor Who movie, five days before it was shown on TV. Five days! Even before the shop doors had opened, a man behind me spoiled the entire plot, yelling out, "And then the Master falls into the Eye of Harmony!" But still, I went home and watched it until 2am and loved it. Also, famously, in 1983, the BBC released the paperback novelisation of The Five Doctors weeks before it went on air. I bought it and denied it; I let it burn, glow and tempt me from the corner of my bedroom in Juxon Street, Oxford. All I did was flick through the first few pages, which had a marvellous chapter concerning Susan, the Doctor's granddaughter, walking through the ruins of a post-Dalek-invasion London... only to discover it was invented for the book and didn't happen at all on screen! And then, to top it all, The Five Doctors was shown in the USA a good two days before it reached BBC One a Friday - not a Saturday! - night.
And now we have 2024. With plenty of warning of the new pattern, for you to plan ahead and choose your own viewing. And that's the point: choice. You're not having to change your habits to fit the show, the show is changing to fit you. And it's changing to adopt the patterns of all modern TV shows. Yes, I think all of them, very soon. This is the future, and it's here, right now.
If you want to stay spoiler-free before the Saturday night transmission, I honestly believe it can be done. I stayed spoiler-free when Game of Thrones would drop in the UK in the early hours of the morning. I'd happily watch it at 9pm that night, in blissful ignorance. And okay, maybe I'm not as online as you are, but that's the key. Manage your online activity for, what, 18 hours? And it's a Saturday too, have a day off!
Easily said, I know, I know, but consider Casualty. I watch that every week. I have done for decades. They now drop their episodes on the iPlayer on a Saturday morning, before that night's TX. And they recently had an episode which resulted in - spoilers, look away - the shock stabbing of Charlie, a good old-fashioned cliffhanger. And it was a surprise to me. I'd remained spoiler-free, happily startled on that Saturday night. And okay, I get you, Casualty might not buzz as much as Doctor Who online. The Holbyverse hasn't quite taken off in the same way. But to counter that, bear in mind: I do follow Casualty, it's made in the city where I work, I know some members of the cast, I know some writers very well, and a good friend of mine is a script editor on the show (hello Tommy, I bet he reads DWM). And despite that proximity, I still stayed spoiler-free. It can be done! It's actually fun.
And bear in mind, a midnight viewing could be lovely. Stay up! Have a party! And that includes kids, too - plenty of children went to midnight openings of bookstores when the new Harry Potter books were released. It was part of the game, part of the narrative, a story they'd tell for years to come. I'd especially recommend midnight for Episode 7, because it's shocking, frankly, and there might be screaming! And the planning of a viewing can be an absolute joy. I remember my Paul McGann midnight vigil as really fun and daft and dedicated, all part of the warp and weft of my life as a Doctor Who fan. These anecdotes make us who we are.
And even on the actual Saturday night, you own it now. Because, yes, you can sit there at the allotted time and watch your favourite show, as normal. But now, look, if the pizza is delivered late, you can wait. If mum's stuck at work and misses the bus, you can pause and start half an hour later. Or if you've got a party later that night, or a big trip planned for Sunday morning, you can start an hour earlier. If all your mates happen to be in town on a Saturday afternoon, you can have your viewing party then. And don't a lot of you like Doctor Who in the dark? So wait till 9 or 10pm, feel that unique Doctor Who terror that comes with drawn curtains and the lights low. The programme is yours, now. Yours absolutely. Yours to start and stop and pause and play whenever you want.
Thing is, we all want to make our own appointments. We wish that we could say to the doctor, or to Amazon, or the gas man: Saturday at 9am, please. We want to be in charge of our own lives. Now, with Doctor Who, we are.
Someone told me recently that Generation Alpha considers radio to be a really odd thing. How weird, they said, that you have records, chosen by someone else, played in a fixed order, and topics of conversation decided in advance, by unknown people, offstage. If you're young, I was told, that seems bizarre, because it makes you powerless. And I can see what they mean. At my age, I cling to a Radio 2 schedule, but I get it; I might disagree but I can also see how that opinion of radio is true. Which means, again, that choice is the way things are heading, and the tide cannot be stopped.
For now. Maybe one day things will change. They might revert back. They'll more likely find something even more new. Maybe in 10 years we'll have all programmes blipped directly into our brain by a psycho-link!
But seriously, I'm not making light of this. I can hear the worries. It's easy to say 'stay offline' when your health or job or nature might make that impossible. And I'm sorry, because then, yes, spoilers, will fly. Unfortunately, there's always been a subset of viewers hitting the spoiler problem, like the tons of people who work Saturdays and on night-shifts. They've had to negotiate this for years. So there has never been a transmission pattern in the digital age that's perfect for everyone.
And to be honest. If you're that online, and cannot change... folks, you stand a high chance of getting spoiled anyway. Before transmission. That's the modern world. Beyond my control. From April onwards, there will be screenings and previews and screeners and friends-of-friends who've seen episodes in advance. And Doctor Who is so popular, it's a victim of its own success. It has devoted fans who will talk, and share, and some who will move heaven and earth to discover information, and post it, far more than, say, good old Holby.
Some people have said to my face that they think our leaks are deliberate. That it's a deliberate attempt to drum up publicity. Let me tell you now and forever: nonsense. To try that with the press and online would be to dance with the devil. And also, inappropriate, because the BBC is a public service broadcaster. I promise. No leaks are ever deliberate.
But still they come! And we try to stop them. We have great people working very hard at the problem. One script was found recently in Brazil! Back in my old 2005-2010 days, a script with the actor's name watermarked on every page was found on a park bench. A copy of The Next Doctor was once on sale in a sci-fi shop in Florida! And I might laugh about this - you see, transmission becomes anecdote, in the end - but I know these spoilers are damaging. I'm told that the entire plot of The Giggle and The Church on Ruby Road were available online, in detail, months before transmission.
But there you go. If you're that online... you always will be. And, in fact, that's part of your joy too. You like it. You love it! So for the run of this season, the hours after midnight will be your ultimate playground. Okay. I can only hope that your happiness doesn't dent someone else's.
Right, let's sweep that off the desk - the most important thing is, NEW DOCTOR WHO! And not just Specials, this time, but an actual season, a great big proper season, for the first time since 2021. And new viewers! Hopefully, for some people, this will be their very first copy of DWM, and I apologise if I've wittered on about 1983 and VHS and Brazil. Ignore me! Because the crucial point is: this season is new, the Doctor and Ruby are new, and the monsters and stories and villains are new, new, new.
You can start here, first-time viewer. Don't worry about all those years of backstory. Truth is, there isn't one. He's a man in a time machine and she's his best mate, that's all there is to it. If you have questions, don't worry, Ruby asks them! And the show works like an anthology series - every week, a new time and place. Deep in history, or the future on far-flung alien worlds, or thrillers in the modern day, we've got them all. Lots of free-standing episodes, although, pay attention, because there are little hints and hooks here and there which might build up to something in the season finale.
And you, old faithfuls. Create new viewers! Have that screening party and invite someone new. If someone says "I don't know where to start," tell them: right here, right now! If I've worried here about transmission, it's because I want you all to have the best possible front-row seat as we introduce, ladies and gentlemen and others...
Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson. The Doctor and Ruby Sunday. I adore this team more than I can say, and I'm so excited to unleash them upon the world. At this stage, I must've seen each episodes about 25 or 30 times, and yet I still see new things in their performances. Oh, they dazzle! What an honour to watch two brilliant actors seize these scripts and make them spin and sizzle and soar. I swear, those two will make you hoot and gasp and yell and weep, and then hoot all over again.
I have loved Doctor Who all my life. And now a brand-new form of Doctor Who is about to light up the sky. So whatever time you're watching, buckle in and settle down. Because here it comes. The ride of a lifetime. Hold on tight!

So, I got a lotta experience writing poems, but I think I'm a dumpster fire as far as prose goes. But, my muse is stirring up a hurricane in my head about this story that keeps growing and expanding and evolving. I'm going to crap out a brief synopsis so y'all can tell me I'm a decrepit goblin creature from Mars and should at least finish high school before I go on to write the next best HBO series. K? K, lezzgo!
So, the story starts out following this one elf who is just going about his business in yet-to-be-named elf village, thinking about his wedding in like a week, when outta nowhere there's a big scary dragon. They take shelter, the dragon goes away, before a buncha elves arm themselves to take the scaled beast down. They sneak up, then one of them Leeroy Jenkins it, and there's a big magick fight scene which culminates with the elf we were following steeling himself to make a major blow. He runs magickally fast with the help of the other elves, takes a giant leap, practically flying, when he sees this giant triangle flying in from behind the dragon. He watches as it flies right into the dragon, splattering it like a bug on a windshield, and as he's falling, he watches as this UFO Independence Days his whole village, and he's blown away into the forest. End chapter one.
Cut to the fucking Enterprise D this starship that has no resemblance to anything. They pick up a distress call and investigate. They find a badly damaged, but highly advanced space station of a god-like race orbiting a planet. In it, they find exposition woman who tells them that her people were attacked by shape-shifting reptile aliens who want to take over the planet because the god-like race was engineering a species of superbeings by having them develop with super advanced technology, which they perceive as Magick, so they'd evolve believing in magick, which will eventually lead to them developing real magick because the universe is a simulation and there is no spoon, Neo.
Blah blah blah the crew goes down to investigate, they learn some stuff. Still working on this part. But, cut to another continent, and we start following this teenage girl who is y'know, doing Harry Potter shit before he got his letter to Hogwarts. She's the chosen one. Chosen to do what? Oh, y'know, get forcefully married to this lord who is working with the lizard people. Horror ensues, but then she gets revenge by cutting his hamcandle off and escapes in the chaos.
Uh…cut to third continent. There's a big empire (also conspiring with the lizards) bullying the dwarves to invade a buncha small nations around their mountain home. Technology/magitech is more advanced here, so we get some steampunk shiz going on too. I haven't developed the story here too much, but I got an idea to have an army of “Datas” with plasma grenade launchers and SMGs going toe-to-toe with steam-powered automatons with gatling guns
Like, I dunno. I got a lotta ish brewing in my head and I want to vomit all of it up for y'all, but it's all skibidi when I try to vocalize it. I'm going to mull over all this, but what do you think about the general premise? Is it a dumpster fire at a liposuction clinic or is it totally tubular? Fucked if I know. I got brain worms. Maybe you can give me some ideas?

Barred From Each Other: Why Normative Husbands Remain Married to Incarcerated Wives—An Exploratory Study – page 3
The participants use several cognitive and emotional devices to help them overcome the double difficulty of explaining and coming to terms with their wives’ criminal acts, and thereby maintaining their marriage. The first device is the rose-colored prism through which the men were able to see their wives as they did when the romance was young. Through this prism, the men refracted and embellished their partners’ characteristics, describing them as archetypal ideals. This finding reveals that the criminal act and the incarceration promoted positive bias typically seen in early stages of intense romantic love (Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996a, 1996b), although the couples had been in very long and stable relationships (M = 17.1 years). The men perceived their partners as unique and exceptional, prototypes of femme fatale, and described the relations with them in flattering and admiring terms. Romantic love is often driven by strong emotions and wishful thinking—as “painted blind,” to use Shakespeare’s phrase (Fletcher & Kerr, 2010). After “talking the talk” of the early, romantic falling-in-love part of the relationship, “walking the walk”—maintaining a long-term and enduring commitments—seems to be powered by strong biologically based attachment emotions (Maner, Rouby, & Gonzaga, 2008). The device used by the participants, the glorification of their partners, reverts to patterns of the time of first love and courtship, not typical of long-tern relationships. Our findings reveal that in times of extreme crisis, this “chivalrous” behavior reappears, even after many years of marriage.
A second device for maintaining romantic relationships with incarcerated spouses is expressing high commitment and devotion. The need for close romantic relationships appears to be exacerbated by confrontations with the fragility of life (Von Fremd, 2006). Incarceration might be perceived as life threatening, as it imposes multiple mental and physical threats to the self (Goffman, 1961). Studies drawing on the terror management theory (Solomon, Greenberg, & Pyszczynski, 1991) indicate that reminders of death increase people’s sense of love and closeness to their romantic partners (Mikulincer, Florian, & Hirschberger, 2003), commitment (i.e., dedication, devotion), desire for intimacy, and love for a romantic partner (Adams & Jones, 1997; Florian, Mikulincer, & Hirschberger, 2002).
A third and final mechanism used by participants to maintain their marital relationships with their incarcerated spouses is to explain their wives’ criminal acts by motivational accounts (Scott & Lyman, 1968; Sykes & Matza, 1957). Normative men describe their wives’ crimes in ways that allow them to minimize guilt, maintain a positive self- and partner-image, and deflect potential stigma. Thus, normative men’s narratives regarding spouses’ crimes are similar to offender narratives that may be best understood as social constructions of the criminal event and of their own social and self-identities, instead of fact-based records of what really happened (Bruner, 2003; McAdams, 1985). Although condemning their spouses’ illicit behavior, participants used rhetorical and linguistic constructions that made the partners’ indiscretions seem inoffensive, reasonable, routine, and sometimes even acceptable. By referring to various excuses and justifications and by using neutralization techniques, participants attempted to construct identities of spouses as being decent, respectable women regardless of their actions. Interestingly, these accounts often drew on themes that described their spouses’ actions as consistent with gender expectations and thus emphasized their spouses’ femininity. Similar to the justifications used by the men in the current study, female offenders cited in other studies used defense of necessity, denial of responsibility, and appeal to higher loyalties at much higher frequency than male offenders. The women claimed that their actions were borne out of necessity, caused by forces beyond their control or to care for, support, or prevent suffering from family and friends, attesting to the fact that gender constrains the way individuals describe their own crimes (Klenowski, Copes, & Mullins, 2011).
Participants view their partners’ criminal acts as not related to their “real character.” Maruna (2001) argued that to enable released prisoners to make the transition to the community and adjust to life outside of prison, they are required to consciously reformulate their identities. He observed that those who desisted from crime tended to describe redemption narratives in which they viewed their “real selves” as noncriminals and their previous criminal behaviors as the result of mistakes, bad choices, and negative influences. They separated and differentiated themselves from their previous mistakes, crafted a moral tale from their experiences, and expressed a desire to use their experiences to help others (Bahr, Harris, Fisher, & Armstrong, 2010). The cognitive transformation theory focuses on the conscious transformation of one’s identity in the process of desistance from crime (Giordano et al., 2002). Thus, through associations with a spouse who sees them as noncriminals, inmates are exposed to and receive reinforcement for particular attitudes and behaviors (Agnew, 2005), and are likely to receive support for not only avoiding illegal behavior but also developing normative self-perceptions.
Increasingly, studies are considering the consequences of incarceration for family life, almost always documenting negative consequences. Incarceration often involves sharply diminished socioeconomic resources, both during and after a sentence (Geller, Garfinkel, & Western, 2011; Swisher & Waller, 2008). Incarceration also involves considerable stigma (Braman, 2004). Inmates’ spouses also suffer from emotional and adjustment problems (Hagan & Dinovitzer, 1999), reduction in spousal involvement with their children, change in family roles, increased household responsibility, and increased burnout and depression (Comfort, 2007, 2008; Nurse, 2002; Swisher & Waller, 2008; Turney & Wildeman, 2012). These difficulties were found in qualitative as well as quantitative studies based on male inmates and female spouses. None of these difficulties were mentioned by the current research participants, who referred to physical separation and lack of physical intimacy {despite conjugal visits and home furloughs] as the major difficulty in maintaining the romantic relationship with incarcerated female spouses. All other inconveniences and difficulties, characterizing marital relationships in crisis (Huston et al., 2001), or relationships between female spouses of incarcerated males, appear to be irrelevant to the interviewees.
The participants of the current study emphasize the importance of physical contact with the inmates, both explicitly and indirectly, when referring to prerequisites to the continuation of the relationships (the duration of the separation) and to ways of preserving the relationships. Out of the three means of maintaining contact available to the normative men and their incarcerated spouses (i.e., visits, letters, and phone calls; see also Boswell & Wedge, 2002; Chui, 2010), the participants adhere to a routine of frequent phone calls and visits, which provides interaction opportunities (Hill, 1988), involvement, and information exchange that enable a gradual accommodation to subtle changes in both partners—inside and outside the prison.
Finally, our findings indicate that in some respects, inmates’ partners experience difficulties and use coping strategies very similar to those cited by spouses facing lengthy separation due to military deployment or life-threatening illness. Identifying commonalities between the problems faced by inmates’ spouses and those faced by normative individuals in other social situations might prove fruitful for understanding the impact of ongoing incarceration on marital dissolution and also for developing effective policies directed at reintegration. Almost 40% of marriages of incarcerated males dissolve after the incarceration period ended, suggesting that an individual’s release from prison and reintroduction to home life produces additional stressors that are detrimental to a marriage (Massoglia et al., 2011). In this line of reasoning, one should acknowledge that reentry is not an event but a process (Maruna & Toch, 2005). Many released prisoners (as well as probationers and parolees) experience various setbacks—such as difficulty in obtaining employment, acquiring housing (Delgado, 2012; Rodriguez & Brown, 2003), stigmatization (Tewksbury, 2005), substance abuse and mental health problems (Petersilia, 2003), and loss of social standings in their communities (Gunnison & Helfgott, 2013)—during the process and may violate parole. For example, 67.5% of ex-prisoners, 43% of felony probationers, and 62% of parolees in the United States were rearrested within 3 years (Beck & Shipley, 1989; Gunnison & Helfgott, 2013; Langan & Cunniff, 1992; Langan & Levin, 2002). Consequently, many researchers and correctional administrators embraced the concept that offender reentry could (and should) be promoted by appropriate support and treatment (Bahr et al., 2010; La Vigne, Visher, & Castro, 2004).
One factor that could contribute to successful adaptation to normative life and reentry is stable marital and familial relations (Kurlychek & Kempinen, 2006). In line with the social control theory, informal monitoring by a spouse and, more significantly, maintenance of cohesive marriage have a preventive effect on crime and assist individuals in desisting from drug use and other delinquent behaviors (Laub et al., 1998; Laub & Sampson, 2001; Vaillant, 1995). The current study provides a preliminary look at the experiences of men who share long and stable romantic relationships with incarcerated women. They report using coping strategies and describe major difficulties and preconditions, all of which allow a unique insight into spouses’ perceptions and motivations to preserve these relationships. Such insights may point to future research direction as well as serve to develop effective policies directed at maintaining stable, long-term romantic relationships with female inmates and, possibly, reducing their chance of recommitting crimes and enhancing successful rehabilitation
Policy Implications
The results of the study reveal that all normative men married to incarcerated spouses suffer from similar difficulties in their effort to preserve marital relationships. Although it could be hypothesized that as a group, these men differ significantly from most of their peers who abandoned their spouses after their imprisonment, the nature of the difficulties represents a challenge to correctional, criminal justice, and social-welfare practitioners and administrators. Therefore, to address the problems and the unique needs of this particular group, and to improve and develop services within and outside the prison service system, we can suggest several recommendations. The first is to reconsider visitation policy. Normative men and their incarcerated spouses, ineligible for home furloughs, should be warranted more conjugal visits. Simultaneously, imprisoned married women, eligible for home leaves, should be entitled to longer and more frequent furloughs. Such visitation/furlough policy would assist in providing relatively stable and reasonable marital relations. Second, this study emphasizes the need to bring marital health to the forefront; a psycho-educational component could be incorporated into the regularly scheduled rehabilitation programs in prison. Couples consisting of normative men and imprisoned women should receive intensive dyadic and familial support. Such assistance and therapy appear to be particularly relevant in cases where the women are incarcerated for long prison terms, when the length of marriage prior to incarceration is relatively short, and in the early stages of imprisonment—when the men are most likely to terminate the marital relations. With enough studies of this nature, policies may eventually be formed that mandate marital therapy training for counselors in prisons and easier access to marital strength initiatives for inmates and spouses on all prisons and within the community as well.

This was originally a reply to a comment and has been edited slightly.
Between a rider name of David, Big D, (or even just the letter D), I know from experience which one which one’s more likely to smell like marijuana, roll down the window to spit (mostly) out the car, ask for an unscheduled stop at a gas station or drive-through, blast his own music on phone speaker, and/or file a false report to get a free ride.
It’s not about race, culture, financial status/background.  When somebody who is given a birth name of Keith or Tom/Dick/Harry but decides to put their rider account name as K-Dog it reveals a couple potential red flags. Maybe they’re trying to show a front; that they’re a player (showing attitude before the pickup).  If you have to tell people you’re all that, then you’re not really all that.
It shows lack of respect for the driver of not providing their real name for driver safety purposes. It shows an attempt at deception/fraud that they don’t want to be held accountable for their actions during the ride. It doesn’t really help for the driver to tell police that they were assaulted by their previous rider named K-Dog.
The rider account name/nickname is information that’s really only seen by drivers and potentially some UbeLyft customer service agents. So what kind of puffed up attitude are they trying to front or what kind of information are they trying to hide? What does it say about a person that they want to come across as a badass (to their Uber driver???) even before they get picked up?
I remember back when they had the original Uber Pool, I remember some drivers posting comments about how their money was just as green, too.  I also regret accepting those trips and letting many previous riders with green money (K-Dog, Big D, and T) in my car. I wish I’d just cancelled and waited the next Bob/Carmen/Kenji/Myra on UberX or Comfort.

In the world of Thaumaturgy, spells are defined as "any use of magic to accomplish a specific task." They are created by mages who imbue raw prana with purpose and meaning through various methods, such as magical words and runes.
While each individual differs, civilizations have shown different general and major ways of accessing Prana. How exactly this is done can even be a closely guarded secret, as seen in the Sword casting technique of the Pendragon family.
Spellcasting, as stated above, depends on the individual or place, but generally, the Mage must give raw Prana a purpose to accomplish, essentially linking spells to thoughts. The process typically involves a Spell Statement, followed by Prana infusion, resulting in the desired Spell output..
The three main general methods of Spellcasting include:
The Western European Method: Usually referred to as the Wand method, this method is known for being the easiest to learn and is one of the reasons why Western Europe is the home of Thaumaturgy. It works by the Mage giving a dead language of their choice, the most popular of witch being Latin and then linking the words of that language to a magical spell, allowing them to cast the spell easily with a simple speaking of the phrase. For example, a user of solid magic would like to raise a wall of dirt from the floor, all he would need to do is say "Exstrue Solum Mūrum." Which means "Raise Dirt Wall" in latin before the spell actives, reason for using dead languages is that is that using normal modern words can have bad effect when 'fire' is connected to shooting fire in your head, regardless of intention. The general issue with this method of Spellcasting is that it is unfocused, unlike the other methods, all the Mage is doing is activating the magical spell but not focusing it, raising the dirt wall would only raise a wall randomly around the mage which is when another important part of this method comes in, Magical Foci, They can take almost any form: books, bracelets, rings, and traditional wands and are used to focus spells to exactly what they are supposed to affect and how exactly you want to regulate a spells output, For instance, a wand can help a mage focus their fire into coherent beams to hit specific targets. This method lends itself more to Projective spells that affect other things and beings than the mage themselves due to how spells are casted, Books are unique as Foci due to their low help in focusing spells by the writing down of spells for faster casting.
The Germanic Method: Usually referred to as the Runic method, this method is almost like a written method of the Wand method, mostly used by the Scandinavian and Mid European people and inspired by the Hermeticism Rituals of old. It works by writing or engraving a rune on something or some surface and activating the magical statement with raw prana input. Runes themselves are the letters of the ancient Germanic alphabets — most famously the ones used by the ancient Norse, but in middle eastern nations it has been shown hieroglyphics work just as well. an individual rune may take a long time to inscribe and create, compared to quicker spellcasting like the Wand or Touch methods, but runes are seen by some as much safer and more reliable than other forms of Spellcasting as they can be set up in advance and use on a moments notice. Runes also tend to be specialized for enhancing or altering the objects they are inscribed upon, a borderline case of what could look like alchemy but isn't— you won't be able to shoot fireballs with runes, although you may be able to use them to create a Flaming Sword. To explain further Alchemy and Runic infusion are different due to alchemical works lasting longer while Runic spells only lasting as long as the mage is actively supporting it as well just the general process between Alchemy and Runes, Alchemy does not need natural magic power and can be learned amd practiced by a normal human.
The Slavic Method: By far the most straightforward method, also known as the Touch method works by having the mage simply imagine the spell and activate it like the unfocused example given under the wand method. What sounds like an easy process is the most hard of the three methods to get right. First this method lends itself to Receptive spells that affect the mage themselves to avoid the next point, Mages that use this method must be touching what they want to affect when making Projective efforts on the world and must actively control the output of prana and power exerted, something that can be regulated with a good wand or pre made runes in the previous methods. This method has it's advantages as experienced uses of this method can become so in tune with the spell thought process they can actively keep spells activated on themselves in the background. This method originally came about im Slavic lands before spreading east to Asia and beyond, it is considered rare since with most of the Mage population being in mainland Europe is confined to variations of the Wand and Runic methods.
Remember that methods vary by person even with the general methods listed, a Wand method user can be trained in a completely different dead language or a runic user could draw runes on their body to imitate Touch method users, the possibilities aren't endless but are still variable.
Sorry for the bad english if any, not my first language.
(Yes the Wand method is inspired by Harry Potter)

While watching a YouTube video discussing Snape's character, I found it intriguing yet flawed. The video, despite garnering significant views, presented biased and nonsensical arguments. . Most of the points he made were not even good. I will give the points he made and also why it appeared biased to me.
Reasons why Snape was bad

1. He tortured Neville Longbottom - Yes this point was good. We know Snape was petty towards Neville not only Snape but most of the teachers were petty towards him. Hogwarts had a questionable teaching style. But I don't know the word "torture" made me cringe. Well, We know he was petty, bullying and unfair but torture is not a good word to use if we equate the word with the torture we have seen done by other characters like Voldemort, Bellatrix etc. The only time he was quite harsh was the incident with the toad, but in that too are these people going to believe that he was going to kill the toad? He also adds that Snape was Neville's Bogart point. ( Snape being Neville's Bogart is a child having fear towards a strict teacher just like Ron has fear towards spiders, These fears can be overcome with age but not Harry's fear as it was his parent's death, that is what I got from that chapter) I will only only say in this point that Snape was bad because petty, unfair and harsh towards Neville.. No, it was not torture.
   • 2) He called Lily a Mudblood - Yes this too is a good point. It was bad but he did not say the context of that situation. Lily's almost smile yeah leave it at least his apology towards her. Nothing was said. 3) He told Voldemort the prophecy - This was bad. I know his duty and all but his joining the death eaters itself was bad ( he later changed ) so I will say he was bad for taking this decision but he paid for his mistakes and he was on the good side at the end of the story. That was the whole point. 4) He sends Sirius to his death - Well This was outright dumb. According to him, it was because of Snape's taunting that Sirius was reckless as if he was not earlier. In that logic, one of the twins also says this to Sirius aren't they too guilty? And What about Harry who was also the reason behind Sirius's death?
   • 5) Unfair Prejudice against Harry: This also is a good point until I heard the reason. He said, Snape was Prejudiced against Harry because of PETTY CHILDREN'S REVELRY SNAPE HAD WITH HARRY'S FATHER! like really petty rivalry? This same person used the word "torture" for Snape's pettiness towards Neville. James' acts towards Snape were childish rivalry according to this guy like imagine saying this to a victim who has gone through a sexual assault and torture at the hands of his bullies, Yikes.

Then he points out the reasons why Snape was good
1)He saved Harry from Quirell - Good but not a good point to show why Snape was Good as this is not the only time he has saved Harry.
2) He introduced Lily to the wizarding world - Again not that strong point. It was a nice act but he could have added a more strong point. It appeared as a feeble point considering the other good things he did.
3) He tried to save the Potters - ✓
4) Risked his Life to be a Triple agent -✓
5) His Love for Lily - Again I would say it was only a part of him not that he was only good because of Lily. Sure she was a motivational factor that made him come to the good side, but later it changed into something bigger. Snape in the end did what he did for the greater good.
In conclusion, I would say Snape was a good person who turned bad but turned to the good side and then eventually became selfless and saved the wizarding world (without accepting anything in return) with Dumbledore and Harry at the end of the series.
PS: Sorry for the grammatical errors

This is a long post but I thought some of you might (unfortunately) find parts of it relatable. I don’t think I ever showed him this letter, and he claimed to be unable to read, so ya know, he couldn’t take it in anyway. Hah He left on Saturday so yay
Jan 2024
In what I’ve read about internet porn addiction, I’m struck by:
The amount of women hyperfixating. Never able to trust again. Having ptsd and betrayal trauma because their partner constantly lies, feeling worthless because their partner chooses porn over them repeatedly, feeling rejected, unloved, unsexy, broken, often suicidal.
The amount of men that lie over and over. For months and years. Even the ones pretending to do all the work they can like therapy, regular check-ins with partner, porn blockers, 12 steps, journaling, self educating etc. Even they lie. They just get better at hiding it.
The amount of men who think they can just white knuckle it, give up without any help at all. And the men who say they can’t possibly stop, even with all the help in the world. They are often suicidal too.
The amount of men who say porn has ruined their lives, relationships, fucked up their heads and destroyed their view of women, given them erectile dysfunction, irreparably damaged their self esteem and yet they can’t give it up.
The amount of women who say that porn won.
What makes you think we are any different from these people? If I educate myself more than you, I’ll know these patterns and see how fucked things are, you’ll keep thinking I’m blind. You’ll keep lying, thinking you’ll fool me. You won’t see how much you’re like all the others. And I’m like all those poor women out there who have abandoned hope.
Your never bring this up. You avoid this topic and get nasty and defensive sometimes when we talk about it. It’s like I’m intruding on your special private relationship with porn. You seem to feel entitled to it, I feel like the other woman, in my mind you are emotionally more loyal to porn than you are to me. You lie to protect it. You get mad when I question it. That relationship came way before me. Even so up until now I’ve been blind to the reality of this situation. The true nature of my enemy has been hidden from me. You’ve had a secret life all along, fulfilling your needs, leaving me with the crumbs of your attention and desire. This has left me feeling unloved, unattractive, disgusting, and inadequate, ashamed, humiliated. Comparing myself to porn stars I realise I can’t possibly compete. I am fat and ugly and old.
Now I’m not allowed to bring it up because it “makes you think about it”. Ok. So we cant ever do anything to alleviate my fear that you’re still lying and watching porn - without bringing upon myself the very thing I’m afraid of? Great! What’s the point then? What difference does it make whether you’re lying or not if you can’t prove it? The whole point is that I don’t trust you. You have shown yourself to be untrustworthy on so many occasions and have lied so many times that I simply don’t believe you anymore. At this stage I need to see concrete proof and consistent effort to prove yourself. Every day.
Also, what’s wrong with thinking about it if staying away from it is easy? It seems you still view porn in a positive light and see nothing wrong with it. You ask “who are you hurting?” It is a temptation and even just talking about it is enough to bend your determination to stay away for my sake.
If you can “take it or leave it” like you say, then why can’t you have open discussions about it with me? If it’s so easy to give it up, why haven’t you done it already despite my pleading? Why keep hurting me? By never thinking about it you remain ignorant to the effects it has on your body and mind. You remain ignorant of my pain. You are blind to all the harm.
The harm is great. Open your eyes. There are children growing up in broken homes because of porn and sex addiction caused by porn. Relationships and lives ruined. Men who can’t view women as anything but sex objects. Men no longer attracted to normal women. Men with pied. It rots the brain and robs everyone of their self esteem and does deep psychological damage. It has done this to you and me. The list of harmful effects goes on and on.
Not to mention the evils of the sex industry itself. The people-trafficking, coercion, corruption, drug issues and health impacts on workers, the pedophilia, violence, misogyny, degradation, and the depravity of the race to the bottom. You ask who you’re harming? The fact is that no one consuming free porn on the internet stops to consider that if something is free then they are the product. What does that mean? Why are people being manipulated? No one stops to ask what is going on here? Why are the algorithms designed to lure people towards more extreme and shameful content? Why does the porn industry promote certain fetishes? Why are we being engineered to accept as normal the most repulsive and amoral sexual behaviours? Why is no one concerned that the creators of extreme content know exactly what they are doing and purposefully play on people’s deepest insecurities and make it addictive? There is a whole generation of men with pornified brains who cannot experience intimacy in a meaningful way. In fact studies have been abandoned because a control group of men who had not watched porn could not be found. And there is a whole generation of women who do not even know what they are up against. It’s horrific.
You say you’ll “stop trying to get away with doing the wrong thing”. Well, if you love someone at all, you don’t want to do them wrong. You should never have been trying to get away with doing the wrong thing in the first place. That’s not how love works Not how relationships work.
Nothing has changed on this score. How do I know if you’re following our agreement? How do I know if you’re just lying again? It seems so easy for you to lie to me. Why do you even want to be in a relationship? Why do you want to be with me?
How am I supposed to ever trust you? Especially when so much doesn’t make sense. You say you’re horny all the time but we barely have sex once a month since the beginning. Then you say the longest you’ve gone without porn is two weeks. You say it’s an addiction but you don’t need help to quit, you say it’s not a problem. The definition of an addiction is that it is a problem. It’s the opposite of something you can take or leave. Remember when you quit Reddit? Why did you do that? How long after that did you download X? How long until you started looking for porn on X? So.. what was the point of deleting Reddit? Why the charade? I really feel like I have you cornered here. It’s so unsatisfying that you won’t acknowledge it.
This ruins everything. I feel like a beard. Affection is non existent. Over the past five days (not fighting) I’ve been brushed on the knee and patted briefly on the head. No kisses, hugs, cuddles in bed. No saying I love you. Nothing. It’s like this all the time. Even when i tell you that right now you need to give me everything you’ve got. I need extra love, my heart is hurting. You told me you wank every morning. Thanks for letting me know. Do you use porn for that?
I can’t fantasize about you anymore without feeling shame and loathing and pure disgust for myself. I can’t remember our past times cause I feel like a fool. This is such a toxic vibe for me., I don’t want to feel this way for the rest of my life.
You treat me more like your mother than a wife. “Getting away with doing the wrong thing” is what a teenage son does not a full grown man and responsible partner. I hate this dynamic it disgusts me. I believe porn has had its hand in this too.
If you love me why do you hurt me? You just don’t love me properly and that’s all there is to say. Men who are addicted to porn can’t love their women properly, that’s another thing I’ve noticed. They are not capable.
And even when I’ve said all this I still get the cold shoulder. Even when I say I want to die. You do not care. You are so cold.
I want to die because I am trapped in this situation. You won’t leave, and you won’t treat me right.

So what works of ficiton do you think embody the ideas of moralism in that kingdom of consciousness quote? The idea that the best decision is to be an object at rest regardless and passively accept injustice or oppression.
My Suggestions are as follows
1) The Hunt: Where strawman liberals hunt strawman conservatives, the latter of which would have probably been at the capitol January 6, and the real hero is someone politically indifferent who only got involved based on a contrived case of mistaken identity.
2) Civil War: A movie at every level disinterested in how the civil war happened or why people are fighting, and focusing on photojournalists who only care about getting a good shot.
3) Harry Potter: You have an incurious protagonist disinterested in thinking about the flaws in his society that lead to the rise of Voldemort and the death eaters. as well as the fact that Hogwarts legacy has you suppressing the rebellion of a disenfranchised underclass consisting of hook nosed bankers.

Hi my name is Brittany I’m 27 I’m in the EST and have been RPing for awhile now. I have a few ongoing RPs and I’m looking to find a new partner if possible. I would prefer to find a partner either in the same time zone or one where the time difference isn’t huge but that’s not a deal breaker. I just want to make sure we will have time to RP together.
I would say I’m a semi lit writer as I love to write detailed responses, and would like to find a partner capable of the same. I can usually reply multiple times a day everyday. If for any reason I won’t be able to respond for a bit I will let you know so you don’t think I’m ghosting you and I ask that you do the same if something comes up. I work a full time job and have a personal life so will always understand if you can’t respond constantly as I know I won’t always be able to constantly.
Now onto my RP idea I would like to do that I need a GM for. I am a big fan of the Harry Potter movies and books having read and watched all of them. I would love to do a RP set in an alternate version of the Harry Potter universe or an original universe similar to it depending on my GMs preference. In both potential scenarios my OC would be the main character the story focuses around. I of course welcome my GMs to include their own OC in the story so they can join in on the fun.
My current idea for my OC would be she is unaware of the magical world until one day she learns she can do magic. Similar to Harry Potter my character would be accepted into a school to learn to control her magic. Where the story goes from there I’m pretty open. I do enjoy a RP full of action, adventure, and mystery. I would love an ongoing RP similar to Harry’s story where my OC attends a magical school and slowly becomes a powerful witch. All while having to struggle and deal with threats that trouble her new world.
If this RP catches your eye feel free to message me and we can discuss more details. I would prefer to work out the details here on Reddit and after that we can hop over to Discord for the RP if you’d like. Hope to hear from someone soon, even if this post is a few days old feel free to still message me as I might still be looking.

Hello everyone. I have been around here reading and … well legit lurking ngl … and I mode one long comment a while ago that made a difference to someone. I have noticed a lot of posts here where people are conflicted and don’t know what to do. Obviously I’d love if I could catch each and the everyone one of these and personalize my response for each. But I am not a full time redditor. So I am going to post the essential parts of that comment here. This is a long, but thoughtfully established argument on why Christianity is completely compatible with homosexuality. If you’re conflicted, check here first:
At 17, I was at a place many of us may recognize - I knew I was gay, and I “knew” it was wrong. How wrong I was. I had been brought up Baptist, knew I was gay from a young age, and didn't quite buy into it being a sin or not being a sin. I was smarter than your average 7 year old having been tested and told I had a grad student’s brain in a second grader’s body. And my very homophobic pastor loved some anti gay clobber verse sermons.
Long story short, indoctrination mostly successful although I had my doubts. So back to me at 17 - I had two options … and coming out didn’t seem like one - the girl I was best friends with for 6 years or the guy I was best friends with since forever. I more than "pass" for straight, but as selfish safety, I kept her close to ward off suspicions ... All the while telling her I wasn't ready for physicality until marriage while then doing so with guys on the side ... That WAS a sin. None of what I was doing at 17 had love - and love is the transformative power that makes a difference. Homosexual relationships, homosexual love is perfectly alright as long as there is love at its core. I’ll explain why this matters.
THIS IS LONG - there is a TL; DR at the bottom, but I'll sum it up here quickly - you’re good with God as long as you do it all with love.
Look at it from this perspective - what is aChristian? A follower of Christ. I follow what Christ said. Christ said a few things important about this, while never mentioning homosexuality directly. The verses that do deal with homosexuality directly (the oh so lovely 'clobber verses' that That was the Old Testament. The New Testament rules about homosexuality are not from Christ - at least 13 of the 27 books of the New Testament were written by Paul - and he was problematic as far as his views.
Combining Christianity and homosexuality is a hot debate, we all know it. It centres on key Biblical verses (the 'clobber verses' mainly) and comparing Old and New Testament teachings. But as for being Christian and gay, living in a loving gay relationship, in a state of grace, and reaching heaven: 10000% affirming yes. You can hang your hat on:

1. The Greatest Commandment
2. The Fulfillment of the Law
3. The New Covenant
4. Christ’s Fulfilment of the New Covenant

Greatest Commandment/Fulfilment of the Law:
Look at the synoptic gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke are synoptic as they share a narrative and tell similar stories). Jesus summarizes the law the Greatest Commandment: to love God with all one’s heart, soul, and mind - and to love one’s neighbour as oneself (Matthew 22:34-40, Mark 12:28-34, Luke 10:25-28). That one commandment (and gotta admit, that's why it's the greatest) captures the entire essence of Mosaic Law and the Prophets - emphasizing love as the foundation of all the laws.
Now a lot of people get tripped up by Jesus saying He has not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets but to fulfill them (Matthew 5:17-20), Fulfilling the law is complex, but basically Jesus is completing the purpose and intent of the Old Testament laws through his life, teachings, and most important His sacrificial death. This fulfilment isn't simply a continuation of the law, but its transformation (through love and His sacrifice on the Cross) that brings the ultimate purpose of the Old Testament Law to fruition. So that brings us to:
The New Covenant and Christ’s Fulfilment of It:
So, we find the New Covenant first prophesized in the Old Testament’s Jeremiah 31:27-36 we see it fulfilled in the New Testament’s Hebrews 10:1-20. It presents a shift from the old covenant's (Mosaic/Old Testament law, although there were like 3 covenants to be fair) adherence to the law externally (with burnt offerings and sacrifices) towards an internal transformation of our hearts (see here for an indepth view of this). The New Covenant promises us that God will write on the hearts of believers His laws and that His believers will know him intimately. This internalization of the law is shown by a relationship with God that is based on forgiveness and grace, rather than on ritualistic observance of the law. Hebrews 10 explains that the old covenant's sacrifices were insufficient, repetitive needing perfection. But God made us, and we are imperfect! Christ's sacrifice on the Cross, once and for all, fulfils the sacrificial requirement making all the old sacrifice systems obsolete! Christ performed a single, perfect sacrifice in His death that enables us believers to live in a new way - guided by The Holy Spirit.
So, What Does All This Mean About Christianity and Homosexuality?
You need to understand that when discussing homosexuality and Christianity, it’s vital to consider the broader biblical narrative and the transformative power of Christ's fulfilment of the law. Yes, the New Testament (specifically Paul and his devotees) has something to say about homosexuality, but where does it mention the modern concept of sexual orientation...Oh yeah, it doesn't, because it is modern, and the Bible is ancient. Being gay is a relatively recent human understanding (great article here). So why does the Bible mention it...Oh Paul...Paul, Paul, Paul...Such a complex man. You need to understand something about Paul - he was an apocalyptic Jew who was viewing Greco-Roman world thru the lens of his old-covenant Jewish beliefs. I won't get into the fact that he was single, advised people it's better to marry than lust if male, if female and single or widowed it’s better to remain that way, and everything else … keep in mind that we have one sided conversations here. All of Paul’s letters are just that - letters to the Churches in each area (Rome, Corinth, etc). We have Paul’s answer to the letter sent from each church … we don’t have the letter he was answering. What was the context? Could there be sarcasm? We just don’t know!
There’s also some subtext that may depending on your bent and personally interpretationsuggests Paul himself may have been struggling with sexuality and relating to women ... which may be why he is opinionated about women keeping quiet...I don't want to spark controversy beyond that and go off-topic. Just presenting all the arguments I have come across.
Paul saw what, to him, was uncontrolled lust and same-sex, opposite-sex, and just sex sex sex of the Greco-Roman world as abominable. The Greek word in the Bible for this is porneia and it appears about 25 times in the Greek New Testament. It simply means "illicit sexual activity" - but Paul just went ham on it! It went from illicit sexuality activity to include every sexual thing that wasn't OK by Paul's Jewish perspective and his view of the Greco-Roman world's sexual practice through the lens of his Jewish background.
That, and that primarily, is why the New Testament mentions homosexuality - Paul was brought up under the Old Covenant, and seeing the Greco-Roman world through than lens shaped his views.
Never in the New Testament is sexual orientation discussed qbecause it wasn't a concept until very recently (the past couple hundred years). The practices Paul saw did not have LOVE. The modern concept of a loving committed homosexual couple wasn't a thing in that world. Of course, Paul had a problem with it, but we went overboard! Plus, with everything I've said above, you can see how the Old Testament verses from Leviticus (18:22 / 20:13) no longer apply to Christians - in light of Christ's sacrificial death we understand we are no longer bound by the Old Testament law in its entirety.
This is going to sound sappy as all get out, but love is what makes the difference (hey - I guess Rowling [when she isn't being a bigoted TERF] was on to something about Voldemort not having or appreciating love and Harry's immense ability to love and be loved made all the difference ... oops, I switched to my other Bible ... let me switch back, but really the Potter books have so much Christian undertone, considering they are about witchcraft and wizardry - they portray love as a force that can overcome even the darkest magic ... kinda like how loving God and your neighbour can overcome the darkest forces of sin ... Back to theology).
TL; DR / Basically:
It is totally cool to be Christian and LGBTQ. You can even do that, live in grace, have a same-sex husband/wife/brosband/partnew.e., kids, and a wonderful happy (and as one young formerly confused person put it) “a beautiful relationship and life with a [same sex partner] as a [LGBTQ] yet faithful Christian [being] and still go to heaven at the end of it all.
Christ fulfilled the Old Testament law in a transformative way - it set up a new way for believers to relate to God and one another. This new relationship between God and believer is characterized by love - which is the Greatest Commandment, by the internal transformation of the heart promised by the New Covenant. The life in spirit enables believers to fulfil moral law through love, transcending the specific ordinances of the Old Testament. In this light, the essence of Christianity is not gonna be found in strict adherence to the letter of the old laws, but in the spirit of love and grace that pervades the teachings of Jesus Christ. Just don't pay too much attention to Paul - he had issues man.
Oh, in case you're wondering - I married my best male friend since childhood, made deep amends for the pain I caused to the girl who I basically used as a beard, and now have a beautiful, loving, committed and monogamous gay relationship with my husband of 10 years and our 3 amazing children*. You can live your dream too. If this is what your soul and your body are telling you want, if you do it with LOVE, God's gonna be fine with you. I say that as a theology minded reformed Baptist-turned-Atheist-turned-Affirming-Christian, as a person who four years ago led the charge in turning my church Affirming.
If you are so concerned about your relationship with God because of your homosexuality to have gotten to this line in the post without flaking on the rest, you’re likely someone who, IMHO, if you think and care about this this much to be concerned, are focused on having a beautiful relationship with a [same-sex/non-binary partner], and do it all with and in LOVE, you are good.

So there you have it - my definitive argument for exactly how it’s ok to be gay in a Christian world, and more to the point to be a Gay Christian - without just saying “it’s cool, God’s fine with it”. This is why it is fine.

Harry Potter - Dark Chocolate with Chili Pepper**: In the books, Harry is complex and often faces intense, fiery challenges. Dark chocolate represents his depth and the darker tones of his journey, while the hint of chili pepper captures his bravery and the unexpected turns in his life, reflecting his readiness to face dangers head-on.
Hermione Granger - Matcha Green Tea**: Hermione in the books is intelligent, driven, and often a bit ahead of her peers in terms of maturity and ethics. Matcha green tea is a sophisticated, acquired taste—rich in flavor and depth, much like Hermione's personality and the wisdom she brings to her friendships and causes.
Ron Weasley - Caramel Swirl**: Book Ron is humorous, loyal, and occasionally overshadowed by his more famous friends, much like the understated yet essential flavor of caramel. It’s sweet, reliable, and brings a delightful twist to any scoop, echoing Ron's ability to bring lightness and support when it’s most needed.
Draco Malfoy - Black Licorice**: In the books, Draco’s character is more than just a simple antagonist; he's complex, with moments of conflict and vulnerability. Black licorice is bold and slightly bitter, mirroring Draco’s often harsh demeanor and the tough path he walks between his upbringing and his moral dilemmas.
Dumbledore - Lavender Honey**: Dumbledore’s literary portrayal emphasizes his wisdom and serene demeanor, alongside a certain quirkiness. Lavender honey ice cream is unique and soothing, with a touch of floral unpredictability, much like Dumbledore's mysterious and calm yet occasionally eccentric nature.
Luna Lovegood - Blueberry Lavender**: Luna is undeniably quirky and truly herself in the books. Blueberry lavender ice cream is not only an unusual combination but also delightfully refreshing and soothing, reflecting Luna’s gentle nature and the comfort she provides as a true and accepting friend.
Severus Snape - Espresso**: Snape's book character is intensely complex, harboring deep bitterness yet profound layers of loyalty and love. Espresso ice cream, with its strong, slightly bitter flavor and rich aftertaste, encapsulates the profound and lasting impact Snape has on the story.
Neville Longbottom - Ginger Pear**: Neville grows significantly throughout the series, starting off shy and clumsy but eventually showing great courage. Ginger pear ice cream combines the soft sweetness of pear with a hint of sharp ginger spice, symbolizing Neville's surprising bravery and his kind nature.
Voldemort - Charcoal Coconut**: Voldemort’s book persona is chilling and devoid of conventional human warmth, much like the stark, intriguing flavor of charcoal coconut. This ice cream flavor is visually striking and has a complex flavor profile, mirroring Voldemort's dark, enigmatic, and formidable presence.
Ginny Weasley - Cherry Bomb**: Ginny is bold and vibrant, and she leaves a lasting impression with her fiery spirit and considerable charm. Cherry bomb ice cream—bursting with bright cherry flavors and a hint of something explosive—mirrors Ginny's dynamic presence and her ability to stand out in both her personal and combat endeavors.
Feel free to add your favourite character or disagree

Okay, so I'm trying to track down a really long story that's basically a crossover with re:monster.
I remember it had at least a hundred thousand words and I'm inclined to say, it would be closer to two or even three hundred thousand. Though, I could be wrong, but I recall it being really long.
Naruto focussend on a strengt build, and I remember him upgrading it and it said something like, you can split a mountain with your fists. (or something like that) It's been a significant amount of time since I read the fic.
I'm like, 99% sure it's on fanfiction.net and I did a couple of searches, but I got literally zero results each time.
I also think the site is glitching out for me, because navigating to the Naruto crossover section and then navigating to the re:monster section also gives me zero results, even though it says there should be thirteen options.
And yes, minimum word count is at all, so is the rating. The only thing I specified is to be in English. Because if it isn't, it's pointless to read for me anyway.
I never finished reading the fic, because it went on and on and on and Naruto's strengt got absolutely absurd.
Note: as I'm writing this, I tried navigating to other sections and they too got me zero results. Even the default harry potter and Naruto sections so there's definitely SOMETHING going on.
In any case, if someone recognizes the story I'm referencing, could you please give me the link? It's possible that the error I get will resolve itself, but with fanfiction.net slowly dying...
Start downloading your favorite fics folks, because who knows how long fanfiction will stay online anymore?
p.s
did the site get updated or anything, because the button for flairs got moved around?

18+ for smut themes.
Hey there! I’m Septimus (M) And it’s nice to meet you!
Today I’m coming forward with the desire to RP as an OC in OC x OC or OC x CC harem based prompts.(I’m greedy, I know but what’s RP without wish fulfilment?)
For my replies I only write in first person and the length of my replies vary from a few sentences to a few solid paragraphs depending on how much is going on in a scene. I figured I’d put a fair warning here that if you reply with low detail, I won’t be rping with you. I’m not looking for a few words as a response. While that might be your thing, that's fine and power to you! It’s just not mine.
I’m someone who likes a nice balance of build-up and story to go along with the smut. I’m not the biggest fan of constant sex, or sex that starts within one or two replies. I also like cute dates and moments, and love to type out action driven moments. Of course this isn’t exactly applicable to every starter.
What I look for in a partner:
Third Person responses (Unless you're playing an OC among the harem)
Don’t take control of my character at any point. Self explanatory but if you write that he does something or has a reaction to something I didn’t write myself I’m not going to be rping with you. You usually get one chance with this and little to no warnings.
Active: I don't wanna be waiting a week for a single reply with no warning. I understand if you're busy outside of RP but please let me know so I'm not just waiting around and twiddling my thumbs. If I go a few days up to a week without hearing from you at all I'm going to assume you're no longer interested. This is once the RP has started. I hear nothing from you I will simply assume you aren’t interested unless you state otherwise. This is just me making sure my friends list isn’t cluttered and I’m not being ghosted. :)
Communicative: It kinda links in with the other but if you're not feeling the RP or you're busy. I'm not gonna get mad or anything I'm an understanding person! Also we don’t both need to be online to RP I generally go off the idea that we both reply whenever we’re able to and the other will get to it once we’re up for it/online.
Please for the love of god don’t spam me every 5 mins. Sending “Hellos?” “?”, ask me if I’m busy, or send a message, delete it and then resend it if I don’t reply right away. It comes across as extremely pushy. I’m not ignoring you if I don’t reply, I’m probably busy. And if I come back to a bunch of spam or keep hearing the notification noise while I’m trying to do something else, it annoys me. As it would anyone I’m sure. Spamming me is a quick way to get blocked. You get one chance with this and no warnings. Sending a bunch of ideas/thoughts about the RP is fine though.
Detailed responses: Anything just around a paragraph (4+ sentences though it depends on the RP AND my response.) is enough, but more is always very much appreciated.
I don’t do group RPS and I don’t play as female characters.
Now to get into the meat and potatoes, I’ll post my kinks and limits. There’s a lot there and not all of them will be applicable to the starters. Aside from Harems. Those are compulsory.

Kinks:
Harems – (Which doesn’t mean playing a bunch of characters at once. If you prefer to play 1 character per scene that’s fine, though the minimum amount of overall characters I’ll take in a harem/RP would be 4 though more is heavily preferred! This kink is currently compulsory for all my rps)
Outercourse (Which is stuff like titjobs, thigh jobs, grinding, hot dogging, that kinda thing), Risky/public spaces. (Places you can get caught but don’t. Toilet stalls, changing booths, that kinda thing), Facials, Freckles (Face and body), Big, nicely shaped bums (Especially if they jiggle… just an overall fan of the jiggle if I’m honest), Creampies, Cum on tits/body, big cumshots, thigh high socks, showewater sex (places like pools, showers, hot tubs that kinda things, and a Mutual desire for sex. I also don’t mind pubic hair as long as it’s not overly bushy, trimmed stuff is nice and preferred! :) I’m also into the rougher stuff. Things like Anal, rough sex. Choking, Spanking all that as well!
Limits:
Pregnacy, which also includes lactation (Hard limit, sorry), Vomit, Piss, Blood, toilet stuff, knife/gunplay, noncon, Gangbangs (reverse gangbangs with females is fine), non hetero pairings, Rimming/pegging, cartoonishly large proportions, NTR, (There could be more that I haven’t thought of, if you’re unsure feel free to ask)
There could be more that I might be into, that hasn’t been listed so feel free to ask about it and we can work something out. And without further ado let’s head straight into it.

I’ve made an easy access list for you to read through to see if anything piques your interest before you have to scroll through this abundant list.
Of course, due to reddit’s character limits I’ll just be posting a few of the starters below, so you can get a handle on my writing, any other ideas you might be interested in feel free to shoot me a PM and I can send those to you!

Anime/Fandom/Game Ideas:
Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia.
Idea 2: One Piece.
Idea 3: Jujutsu Kaisen.
Idea 4: Fire Force.
Idea 5: Demon Slayer.
Idea 6: Attack on Titan.
Idea 7: Fairy Tail.
Idea 8: Naruto.
Idea 9: Bleach.
Idea 10: Fullmetal Alchemist
Idea 11: Chainsaw Man.
Idea 12: Sword Art Online.
Idea 13: Tokyo Ghoul.
Idea 14: Black Clover.
Idea 15: Darling in the Franxx.
Idea 16: Pokemon.
Idea 17: Avatar the Last Airbender.
Idea 18: DC Titans.
Idea 19: Spiderman.
Idea 20: Persona (Girls from 3, 4 and 5.)
Idea 21: Final Fantasy. (7/14)
Idea 22: Baldur's Gate 3.
Idea 23: World of Warcraft.
Idea 24: The Witcher 3.
Idea 25: League of Legends.
Idea 26: Cyberpunk 2077.
Idea 27: Apex Legends.
Idea 28: Overwatch.
Idea 29: Mass Effect
Idea 30: Harry Potter.
OC Ideas:
Idea 31: Scifi Space Crew. (Can be used for Mass Effect)
Idea 32: Bladebreaker. (Can also be used for Xenoblade 2)
Idea 33: Fantasy Harem Adventure.
Idea 34: Tokyo Demon Hunters.
Idea 35: Fallout/Nuclear Apocalypse.
Idea 36: Zombie Apocalypse.
Idea 37: Only man of the town.

Idea 1: My Harem (Hero) Academia.
(So for this one, my character will be a transfer into class 1-A. From Shiketsu. His power is that of Persuasion. With the power he’s able to convince someone to do something as if it’s their own free will. That being said he’s rather hesitant to use it on other people and due to the stigma around his quirk he’s been seen as an outcast and a freak and has been constantly harassed due to the nature of his quirk.)
(The idea I have for this RP is that the girls of class 1-A will help him come out of his shell and accept that his quirk isn’t the villainous thing that other people have led him on to be. This is more of a “Love Route” though I suppose a more selfish route is also available! Also if you wanted to branch out to internships with heroes like Mirko and Mt Lady that’s available too! It’s currently set after the training camp arc and will continue from there.)
Starter: It was a day which started like most others in Class 1-A. The students got ready in the dorms and headed to class to chat among themselves while they waited for Aizawa to enter. However, unlike most days there seemed to be an extra desk placed in the room. The seat caused some confusion which didn’t last long as the first bell rang and Aizawa entered the room.
“Morning everyone.” He stated in his mainly bored and sleepy tone which seemed to sound like he was stifling a yawn. “Today we’ve got a new student transferring in from another school. He’s from Shiketsu, some of you may recognize the name since it’s got the same level of prestige as U.A. but regardless, make sure he feels welcome.” He said, pointing a sweeping stare at everyone and finally resting on the problem student of the U.A class Bakugo.
With that he fell silent and I felt it was my cue to enter. Swallowing a little at the nerves I steeled them quickly and entered. Nervously my blue eyes sweep over some of the familiar faces in the room. Many of the students had standout performances in the UA sports festival and as well in the news reports about the villain attack on the training camp.
I had a lot to live up to if I wanted to join these legends in training but regardless, I was determined to do just that. Breathing a little and shifting my auburn hair from my eyes I smiled the best I could. “My name is Schwarzer, Chris Schwarzer. It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” I say bowing to the class.
Satisfied with the introduction, Aizawa nodded to the spare seat in the room. Taking that as an order I nodded back and headed over to my seat sitting down and getting my books out. Curiously I turned to the seat next to me noticing one of the girls in the class and gave her a slight smile as Aizawa began his lesson.

Idea 2: One Piece.
(I’m not so sure how I want to approach this one, however I’ll jump in and give it a go. Much like the MHA starter this character will have the power of Persuasion. Having eaten the Persua-Persua fruit. I’m thinking for now either he makes a crew with characters from the story, or he joins the Straw Hats and goes on adventures with them. (Obviously this doesn’t have to be canon and completely made up as we go.) Either way I’m super keen on this since I love One Piece to death. I also have a list of potential crewmates I can send!)
Starter: Adventure! Freedom, Treasure and Booze! These were all the things a pirate needed in life. And exactly what every pirate set out to obtain. Two years after the events at Marineford where Strawhat Luffy himself took on the government with an army behind him, and the Whitebeard Pirates at his side in order to rescue his brother… And two years since I felt inspired enough in his absence to set forth on my own.
I gathered up a strong crew and made a name for myself. My alias, Silver Tongue Schwarzer, is a nice title which rolled off the tongue. I had no issues amassing a sizable bounty at 90 million berries. While it wasn’t as grand as other pirates, the world government saw enough of a threat in my power to provide a bounty that large. Of course, had my powers been widely known it’d have rocketed higher.
So then why was I now sitting at a bar on the Sabaody Archipelago, alone and staring into the amber liquid of booze in a mug? It was simple. Mutiny. Those whom I had trusted most among my crew turned on a dime and after reaching the Archipelago they threw me overboard and turned around. To where I didn’t know and quite frankly after their betrayal I didn’t care.
“Damn them. Damn them all.” I muttered under my breath cursing as I downed the rest of my contents. “Another!” I called out to the barkeep who approached to fill my mug.
“You’re looking a little rough there, are you sure you need another?” The bartender asked as he took the mug from me.
“I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t even know what else to do with myself.” I responded grumpily. “Just fill it up.” I demanded.
“Right.” The bartender responded as he filled it with more of the alcoholic amber liquid and slid It in front of me.

Idea 9: Bleach
(So a new human soul reaper makes it into the soul society. His power isn’t great to begin with simply being enough to take out the average hollow. And with the resurgence of the hollow threat the Soul Society has offered to give him a substitute badge to take out those hollows deemed too small for the soul society to handle. Maybe he’s paired up with someone or someone like Orihime steps in to help him grow.)
Starter: Another boring day at university followed by a night of boring patrols. With all the big hollows being taken care of by “Full-fledged” Soul reapers it didn’t leave me with much opportunity to train against bigger enemies.
At least that’s what I thought originally. A few blocks from me there was a rift which opened up and the pure spiritual pressure that came from the hollow that stepped out of it was enough to make me feel as though gravity itself was pushing against me.
It was hard to breathe and even harder to stand as my hand clutched my blade in my left hand tightly. I shook my head as I heard the loud roar of the large breast and could even see its towering form from my position.
It was nothing close to a menos, but it was enough to tower over a three-story building for sure. “Damn.” I hissed to myself as I knew there were no soul reapers around at this stage. With a threat this big I was sure they’d come, but until then it was up to me to buy some time and make sure no humans or souls were consumed.
Pushing myself forward I reached the park that the Hollow had appeared in. Thankfully the park was deserted at this time of night.
When he saw me, the hollow let out a low growl. “You don’t smell like much, but you’ll do as a snack.” The hollow commented as it charged forward.
“Just evade, buy time.” I commented to myself as I began to leap around the battlefield looking a bit like and feeling like an idiot.
The hollow toyed with me a little while enjoying the chase before it seemed to get bored. Just when I was thinking I was fast enough to keep avoiding it the creature’s mouth opened and its forked tongue shot out at me with faster speed than I was anticipating. I raised my blade to defend myself but it was a feeble attempt and I knew it wouldn’t be enough.

Idea 20: Persona (Girls from 3, 4 and 5).
(So basically this is just gonna be a fairly interesting idea. My character along with the girls of persona 3, 4 and 5 get stranded in this strange dimension where they have to fight their way out to make it back to their own worlds.)
Starter: It all happened so fast. One minute I was in a team meeting with my group discussing what we should use our newfound powers for next. And the next second, I blinked and I was in some kind of strange room.
One by one more people were added into this room. Some of which were dressed in some elaborate costumes. And I frowned as I looked at each one of them, all of which I didn’t recognize at all and judging by their looks they didn’t recognize me. Although before we managed to introduce ourselves a booming voice broke the silence.
“Welcome all!” The clearly male voice commented. “To the room of my design.” He added on. “I’m sure you’re all confused. And no doubt you’ll want to return back to your homes. However, to do so you’ll need to enter my labyrinth. “Make it to the end and you’ll all return home.” The voice explained.
“Of course, this maze isn’t without its dangers. Enemies, much like you encounter on a regular basis will roam these halls. As well as beasts of my own design far stronger than those… Fear not though for every checkpoint you reach this room will become more furnished with amenities. For now, you simply have beds to rest on.” He said as there was an audible click and the dark room was suddenly lit up. Sure, enough there were rows of beds all lined up one for each person to sleep on.
“When you’re ready to test yourself, step through this door and enter the first level of the labyrinth.” He declared as a large door appeared and opened up in front of them.
For a while nobody said anything, probably all too stunned to even process the information.
“So, I’m guessing we’re all persona users given what he just said.” I spoke up. “I guess we should probably start with names and strengths, right?” I questioned the group. “I’m Chris Schwarzer.” I say. “My persona, Seraph focuses on ranged combat.” I explained.

Idea 21: Final Fantasy VII. (Others Can be done! :))
(So this one will be set in the world of Final Fantasy VII, however if you’re looking to do others, I’m more than happy to do so! I’m familiar with them all. Mainly 7 and 14 But this one will be focused on FF VII, since Jessie, Yuffie, Tifa and Aerith are best girls! If you wanted to mix this up with FF 14 and have them transported to Eorzea we can make something up!)
Starter: Midgar. Easy place to find work given you were capable enough. There were a lot of monsters prowling the highways between sectors and a lot of people willing to pay mercenaries to get the job done.
“Hiyah!” I called out as I cleaved my blade through the neck of a monster severing its head from the rest of its body and slaying it instantly. It was a tough fight but I overcame it. I panted a little as my muscles relaxed and I slid my blade back into its sheath. The job I was on was simple, kill the beast and return its head to a barkeep in sector 5. I scooped the beast’s head up into a burlap sack and hoisted it over my shoulder before I headed back to the bar.
By this point I was a rather well-known mercenary. Jobs exterminating monsters were easy to come by and easy enough to complete. Plus, the payout paid for my room and for most of my meals. As I entered the bar I headed up to the counter and placed the bloody burlap sack on the counter. “Got it done.” I say to the barkeep.
The older man, his hair and beard white with age frowned a little and looked at the bag. The blood splatter on the counter… which he had just cleaned was enough to let him know that I was serious and he placed the sack full of gil on the counter.
“Thanks.” I say as I picked up the purse. It was lighter than I expected, but even if it was short I wasn’t about to start an argument. In return to my manners, I got a short grunt back.
“Don’tcha forget about disposin of that thing, I ain’t want it.” He said waving his hand dismissively towards the bag.
“Right, I’ll get on that.” I say as I grabbed the sack.
“An there was a woman lookin for you.” He stated. “Said she’d be waitin for you in buildin next to the orphanage.” He stated.
“Right, thanks.” I said to the man and headed out, disposing quickly of the severed head in the sack before I headed up to the building in question. I frowned as I peered inside. My eyes looking around for any sign of someone out of place. It did seem a little crowded in the building after all. I was about to announce myself when I felt a hand tap my shoulder and turned to see who it was.

Those are by no means all of the starters and given the size limits of post limits I figured I’d narrow it down to some of the ones I like the most! Feel free to ask me about any of the others! Thanks so much for reading this and I hope to hear from some of you soon! :)

I am an American (32F) and I have been married for 8.5 years to my Central European husband (34M), together for a total of 12 years. We dated/were engaged long distance for three years then got married and I moved to be in his country. His mother is a widow, his father died when he was 16 and he never went to university, his older sister bolted and married when she was 19 and moved to the US. He stayed to help support his mother after graduating from high school and was never particularly motivated to go to university. I have a Master's degree in public health and speak 3 languages (he speaks 2) so I figured I would have an easier time finding a job in Central Europe than he would as a foreigner in the US.
We both come from quite conservative Christian families, though I have gotten a lot more moderate and we both have walked away from most aspects of fundamentalist practices.
Since we got married, in nearly nine years, he has gotten us into crippling debt once (I found out a little over a year after we were married), I have caught him sending flirtatious and sensual messages to other girls, once my friend has caught him out with another girl, and I caught him having downloaded a chatting and dating app. Five years ago, my mental health escalated and I was finally diagnosed with depression anxiety disorder after being in a very dark place, if you get my drift. Now I'm medicated and things are working more as they should. I also have raised an orphan foal, and work-wise I have not found as many well-paying jobs as I would have hoped, so often I have worked up to three jobs at a time, also to get us out of debt. Also adjusting to a culture that is radically different from the United States has been really hard, and I get emotional and mentally drained very often. Three years ago we began working on our relationship a lot, since he said to me things like I was different than he expected I would be, he was no longer attracted to me, he didn't want to have kids with me because he didn't think I could handle it, it would be better if I went back to work in the States since I was so miserable here in his country... but neither of us wanted to get divorced. We went to individual and couples therapy, got counseling from church, friends and family members tried to support us - his family is here in the country, but all of mine are back in the States. I made huge strides in self-awareness and getting coping mechanisms for my mental health, while he took longer to make... smaller strides. Maybe for cultural reasons (the country where we live is part of the former Soviet Union), maybe for personal reasons, maybe how he was raised, I don't know, he still was very closed off and looked for excuses for things not to work, and wouldn't even follow through with his own complaints about what wasn't working in the relationship.
The last time I caught him softcore-sexting a chick, I kicked him out of our rented house, but after a week we decided to give it one more shot. His family and mine took his side and encouraged me to take him back and make our marriage work. Two years ago he stopped playing American football (he had played semi-pro American football for about 10 years), soon after we decided to give our relationship one more shot, because he said it was too much of a time committment and he wanted to work on himself and our relationship. Also because one of his friends, a fellow teammate, did some very and extremely bad things at a party. Since that time, though, he refuses to discuss anything related to a future with me - having children, buying a house, changing jobs, even getting a dog is not acceptable to him. He also took on more responsibilities at work, took on the position of game day coordinator with his old football team, and this year he took on the position of special teams coordinator. Between his job and football, he is out of the house for about 80 hours per week. I see him face to face for maximum 30 minutes per week.
I hate myself for letting it drag on so long, but I am alone here, all our friends and my family adore him, the family takes his side usually and because of the religious background are very anti-divorce, and being a foreigner who got her residency status based on marriage to someone she dearly loves, it's not so easy as saying "Well, I'll kick his ass to the curb." At least now I have found supportive friends who love me for me, and I can admit that I am sick of it and have finally decided I am ready to get out of this dead end relationship. I don't know how to go about it though, because part of my problem is that whenever I try to discuss our relationship problems, he starts to take blame for doing so many horrible things in the past, but still say how hard he is trying and how he hates himself for not being good enough for me, and how I am his priority, and since I try to find a compromise in all cases, I try to find resolution in working on our relationship. I end up holding up both ends though, and I am done with that. I have never been the one to dump someone in a relationship... honestly this is my first serious relationship and I don't know how to dump him assertively without being a bitch, and without inadvertently leaving any loopholes for him to keep playing on my emotions.
With everyone else in his life he is the kindest, funniest, most helpful human you have ever met, he is humble and generous... he just uses these traits up on everyone and everything else, and doesn't leave anything for me.
WIBTA for writing everything out in a letter, telling him he needs to move out by this date, arranging to stay somewhere for a week so he can get his shit out of the house, then coming back and getting on with my life? I just got a job offer that would let me be more financially independent, I think. We have a family wedding in the states, where I plan to say goodbye to my nieces and nephews (they won't know I'm saying goodbye for good) - when I kicked my husband out for cheating I already got a Jezebel status with them I feel, so ending a marriage, I may as well be a corrupt warlord.
Anyway... any advice for how to end it?

Here's some pictures of the N64 games: https://imgur.com/a/XfHzrF3
Let me know if you need pictures of any of the items listed below. Shipping is $5 flat for anything under one pound. I've got 400+ transactions on this board and accept payment via PayPal (F&F) or Venmo (F&F) only.
Consoles
GBA Indigo - $80 shipped
GBA SP (Silver CIB) - $125 shipped
GBA SP Lime Target Exclusive w/ charger - $130 shipped
Nintendo 2DS w/ charger - $85 shipped
Nintendo 3DS XL Pokemon X & Y Edition Console - $225 shipped
Nintendo 64 Console w/ hookups + OEM Controller - $90 shipped
Nintendo Wii Console (gamecube compatible) w/ hookups + Wii remote & numb chuck - $75 shipped
PS2 w/ hookups, OEM controller, OEM memory card - $100 shipped
Retron 5 Hyperkin (GBA/GBC/SNES/NES/Genesis) unused CIB - $120 shipped
Super Nintendo w/ hookups & OEM controller - $95 shipped
Xbox OG Console w/ hookups & OEM controller + Project Gotham Racing (CIB) - $110 Shipped
Controllers/Accessories
Gameboy OEM Clam Shells (lot of 32) - $75 shipped
Gamecube OEM Controller (Indigo) - $30 shipped
Gamecube OEM Wavebird Controller w/ receiver- $95 shipped
NES OEM 10-Cart Storage Case (3x avail) - $20 + shipping each
N64 OEM Expansion Pak - $50 shipped
N64 OEM Green Controller - $30 shipped
N64 Memory Card - $14 shipped
Pokemon Moon/Pokemon Sun Strategy Guide - $20 + shipping costs
Pokemon Ultra Moon/ Ultra Sun Strategy Guide - $20 + shipping costs
PS2 Logitech Wireless Controller (w/ dongle) - $35 shipped
PS2 OEM Memory Card- $14 shipped
Sega GameGear Super Wide Gear - $20 shipped
Wii U Wireless Controller (WUP-005) & charging cable - $35 shipped (2x avail)
Xbox 360 500GB OEM Hard Drive - $45 shipped
N64 Games
007 GoldenEye - $25
007 World is Not Enough - $14
Army Men Sarge's Heroes - $15
Automobil Lamborghini - $8
Backstage Assault - $12
Banjo Kazooie - $25
Bass Hunter 64 - $8
Beetle Adventure Racing - $17
Charlies Blasts - $40
Diddy Kong Racing - $25
Doom 64 - $30
Extreme G Racing - $10
Forsaken 64 - $10
Gex 64 - $16
Iggy's Reckin' Balls - $20
Killer Instinct Gold - $30
Knockout Kings 2000 - $6
Magical Tetris Challenge - $20
Mario Kart - $40
Monster Truck Madness - $15
MRC Multi Championship Racing - $10
Namco Museum 64 - $12
Nascar 99 - $7
Nascar 2000 - $7
NBA In the Zone 98 - $5
NBA Live 99 (CIB) - $20
NBA Showtime - $12
Polaris Sno-Cross -$30
Pokemon Snap - $20
Quest 64 - $25
Ready 2 Rumble Boxing - $12
Ridge Racer 64 - $15
San Francisco Rush - $15
Starfox 64 - $25
Star Wars Episode 1 Racer - $10
South Park Chef's Luv Shack - $25
Supercross 2000 - $7
Super Mario 64 - $35
Super Smash Bros. - $40
Tetrisphere - $12
Top Gear Rally - $10
Turok Dinosaur Hunter - $12
Turok 2 Seeds of Evil - $12
Vigilante 8 - $21
Virtual Pool - $13
Waialae Country Club - $6
War Gods - $10
Wave Race (Player's Choice) - $15
WCW Backstage Assault - $11
WCW NWO Revenge - $11
Wheel of Fortune - $11
Zelda Ocarina of Time (label wear) - $30
N64 Manuals
1080 Snowboarding - $7
Duke Nukem Manual - $10
Flying Dragon Manual - $40
Rush Extreme Racing - $8
Silicon Valley Space Station Manual - $40
Supercross 2000 - $6
Tony Hawk Pro Skater - $6
Nintendo Gamecube Games (CIB unless noted)
ATV Quad Power Racing 2 - $10
The Hobbit - $24
Enter the Matrix - $13
Eternal Darkness - $90
Fifa 2003 - $6
Fifa Street 2 - $25
Finding Nemo - $8
F-Zero GX - $90
Gun (missing manual) - $10
Harry Potter Chambers of Secret - $12
Killer 7 - $65
Luigi's Mansion - $60
Madden 2003 - $5
Madden 2007 - $8
Mario Golf Toadstool Tour - $27
Mario Kart Double Dash - $75
Monopoly Party - $10
Monsters, Inc. Scream Arena - $7
Nascar Thunder 2003 - $7
Pikmin - $50
Power Rangers Dino Thunder - $8
Resident Evil - $25
Resident Evil 2 - $100
Resident Evil 4 - $30
Resident Evil Zero - $18
The Sims Bustin Out - $12
Smuggler's Run (missing manual) - $12
Sonic Adventure Battle 2 (missing manual) - $45
Spiderman 2 - $15
Spyro A Hero's Tail (missing manual) - $15
SSX Tricky - $28
Starfox Assault - $45 (CIB; some wear to cover art)
Super Mario Sunshine (missing manual) -$35
Super Smash Brothers Melee - $60
Ty the Tasmanian Tiger (missing manual) - $12
WWE Crush Hour - $27
WWE Day of Reckoning 2 (missing manual) - $25
Nintendo DS Games (cart only unless CIB noted)
Avatar The Game - $6
Bionicle Matoran Adventures - $6
Build-A-Bear Workshop (CIB) - $6
Carnival (CIB) - $6
Deal or No Deal - $5
Guitar Hero On Tour Bundle (CIB) - $25
Happy Feet - $4
Horsez (CIB) - $6
Hot Wheels Beat That - $6
Kung Fu Panda (CIB) - $6
Mario Party DS - $13
Mario Kart DS (loose) - $15
Mario Kart DS (CIB) - $18
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games (CIB) - $10
Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games (CIB) - $10
Megaman Starforce Dragon - $85 shipped
Metroid Hunters First Hunt - $6
Nacho Libre - $15
Namco Museum DS - $8
Naruto Ninja Council 3 - $6
New Super Mario Bros. (CIB) -$22
Nickelodeon Team Umizoomi - $6
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney - $20
Picross 3D - $9
Ping Pals - $3
Planet Puzzle League - $10
Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky (case & manual only, no game) - $55
Pokemon Ranger Shadows of Almia (cart only) - $30
Ratatouille - $5
Rayman DS - $10
Ridge Racer DS - $8
Shrek Superslam - $5
Spiderman 3 - $8
Star Wars II The Original Trilogy (LEGO) - $6
Super Money Ball Touch & Roll - $6
Transformers Animated - $11
Tron Evolution - $4
Zhu Zhu Pets - $3
Nintendo 3DS (cart only unless noted)
Animal Crossing: New Leaf (CIB) - $20
Lego Marvel Superheroes: Universe in Peril - $5
Mario Kart 7 - $12
Minecraft New Nintendo 3DS Edition - $18
Pilotwings Resort - $10
Pokemon X (CIB) - $30
Skylander Giants - $6
Skylander Swap Force - $16
Skylander Trap Team - $12
Super Mario Maker - $10
Super Smash Bros (CIB) - $15
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - $9
Wipeout: Create & Cash - $5
Wreck-it Ralph - $6
Yo-Kai Watch - $15
NES Games (cart only; unless noted)
8 Eyes - $11
A Boy and His Blob (cart, box, manual) - $40
Blades of Steel - $8
Bubble Bobble - $16
Burgertime - $15
Castlevania II Simon's Quest - $15
Castlevania III Dracula's Curse - $45
Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers (CIB) - $125
Contra - $40
Dick Tracy - $7
Double Dragon - $13
Double Dragon II - $12
Donkey Kong 3 - $20
Dr. Mario - $10
Duck Tales - (cart & box) - $100
Excite Bike - $11
Faxanadu - $11
GI Joe: A Real American Hero - $75
Golf - $3
Legend of Zelda - $30
Mickey Mousecapade - $7
Mike Tyson's Punch-out - $40
Paperboy - $16
Punch-Out - $20
Rad Racer - $6
RBI Baseball 3 (cart & box) - $25
Robocop - $10
Rollerball - $8
Skate or Die 2 (cart & box) - $65
Spy Hunter - $5
Street Fighter 2010 - $15
Super Glove Ball - $7
Super Mario Bros. 2 - $20
Super Off-Road - $12
Super Team Games - $7
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II - The Arcade Game (cart & box) - $80
Tiger Heli - $8
Wall Street Kid (cart, box, registration card, poster) - $45
WWF Wrestlemania - $6
SNES Games (cart only)
Aladdin - $15
Castlevania IV - $45
Clue - $5
Earthbound - $350
F-Zero (Player's Choice) - $20
Jungle Strike - $9
Ken Griffey Jr Major League Baseball - $11
Kirby's Avalanche - $15
Lion King - $11
Mario Paint - $6
Mega Man X - $32
Mickey Mania - $13
Mortal Kombat - $13
Ms. Pacman - $9
NBA All-Star Challenge - $5
Pilot Wings - $10
Scooby Doo Mystery - $11
Starfox - $15
Super Adventure Island - $16
Super Baseball 2020 - $13
Super Ghouls N Ghosts - $23
Super Mario All-Stars - $25
Super Mario Kart - $40
Super Mario World - $20
Super Punch Out - $28
Top Player Tennis - $8
WWF Raw - $13
Zombies Ate My Neighbors - $30
Gameboy
Super Mario Land - $20
Tetris - $12
GBA (cart only unless noted)
Aggravation/Sorry/Scrabble - $5
Barnyard - $8
Bratz - $4
Care Bears Care Quest (CIB) - $28
Cars - $5
Cars (CIB) - $16
Castlevania Double Pack - $85
Cho Makaimura R Super Ghouls N Ghost ( Japanese Import) - $95 Shipped
Crash Bandicoot 2 N-tranced - $10
Crash Huge Adventure - $11
Curious George (CIB) - $28
Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX 2 - $4
Disney Party - $10
Disney Princess (CIB) - $12
Donkey Kong Country (GBC/CIB) - $56
Dora Explorer's Pirate Pig's Treasure - $4
Dragon Ball Z Supersonic Warriors - $20
Elf - $10
ESPN Great Outdoor Games Bass 2002 - $5
F-14 Tomcat - $7
Finding Nemo - $5
Green Eggs & Ham (CIB) - $20
Incredibles (CIB) - $14
Kong 8th Wonder of the World - $5
Lost Vikings - $25
Madden 2005 - $5
Mario Kart Super Circuit (torn label) - $20
Metroid Zero Mission - $60
Monsters Inc - $4
Monster Jam Maximum Destruction - $6
Namco Museum - $6
Oddworld Munch's Oddysee - $12
Pirates of the Caribbean - The Curse of the Black Pearl - $5
Pong Asterios Yar's Revenge - $4
Sonic Advance 3 - $25
Quad Desert Furty - $3
Shaun Palmers Pro Snowboarding (GBC/CIB) - $10
Shrek Swamp Kart Speedway - $5
Spirit Stallion of the Cimarron - $5
SpongeBob Battle for Bikini Bottom - $7
Spongebob Squarepants Super Sponge - $6
SSX 3 - $7
The Incredibles - $3
Thunder Alley - $5
Top Gear GT Championship - $10
Sony PSP (all CIB)
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII - $15
Gurumin A Monstrous Adventure - $42
LocoRoco - $10
Mega Man Powered Up - $38
Parappa the Rapper - $27
Sega Genesis Collection - $17
PS1 Games (CIB unless noted)
007 Tomorrow Never Dies - $7
Action Bass - $6
Andretti Racing (GH) - $5
Ball Breakers (sealed) - $10
Bass Championship - $7
Battle Arena Toshinden (GH) - $14
Bust A-Move 4 - $17
Driver 2 (GH) - $10
Fighting Force - $20
IHRA Drag Racing - $5
Missile Command - $6
MLB 2001 - $9
MLB 2003 - $9
Nascar Heat (CIB) - $7
NBA Live 2000 - $8
NBA Shootout 98 - $9
NHL 98 - $8
NHL Faceoff 97 (GH) - $5
PlayStation Underground Jampack Fall 2001 - $9
Resident Evil 2 (DualShock Edition) - $65
Rocket Power Team Rocket Rescue - $7
Rugrats in Paris: The Movie - $12
Spongebob SquarePants Super Pants - $7
Syphon Filter 2 (GH) - $10
Tecmo Super Bowl - $20
Tiger Woods 99 - $8
Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 - $12
Twisted Metal 2 (Greatest Hits) - $32
Toy Story 2 - $22
Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour - $20
World Cup 98 - $12
PS2 Games (CIB unless noted)
All-Star Baseball 2005 - $5
Ape Escape 2 - $48
Ape Escape 3 - $43
ATV Offroad Fury 2 - $6
Avatar the Last Airbender - $8
Batman Begins - $13
Batman Vengeance - $19
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Chaos Bleeds - $28
Burnout Revenge - $11
Burnout 3 Takedown - $13
Buzz the Mega Quiz - $12
Capcom Classics Collection Volume 2 - $13
Castlevania Lament of Innocence -$25
Corvette - $5
Crash Bandicoot The Wrath of the Cortex - $12
Crash Nitro Kart (GH) - $9
Crazy Taxi - $10
Dance Dance Revolution Extreme 2 - $7
Dead to Rights - $6
Devil May Cry (GH) - $7
Enter the Matrix - $10
Eragon - $6
Family Feud - $5
Finding Nemo - $6
Fire Pro Wrestling Returns - $10
Ford Racing 3 - $5
Frogger the Great Quest - $7
Golden Compass - $5
GTA 3- $10
Gran Turismo 3 - $5
Godfather the Game - $14
Guitar Hero - $10
Guitar Hero Aerosmith - $7
Guitar Hero II - $7
Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock - $9
High Heat Major League Baseball 2004 - $5
Hot Wheels Velocity - $10
Hot Wheels World Race (missing manual) - $12
Hobbit - $10
Ice Age 2 The Meltdown - $7
Ironman - $6
Karaoke Revolution Party - $8
Karaoke Revolution Presents: American Idol - $5
Legends of Wrestling II - $12
Lego Star Wars The Original Trilogy - $6
Lego Star Wars The Video Game - $7
Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring - $10
Madden 2003 - $5
Madden 2004 - $5
Madden 2005 -$5
Madden 2007 - $5
Matt Hoffman's Pro BMX 2 - $10
Max Payne - $10
Metal Arms Glitch in the System - $16
Midway Arcade Treasures (1) - $12
Midway Arcade Treasures (2) - $12
MLB 07 the Show - $5
MLB Slugfest 2003 - $10
MLB Slugfest 2004 - $13
Namco Museum (GH) - $8
Nascar 2001 - $5
Nascar Thunder 2003 - $7
NBA Street - $12
Need for Speed Underground 2 (missing manual) - $20
NFL Blitz Pro - $10
NFL Street - $17
NFL Street 3 (missing manual) - $20
Onimusha 3 Demon Siege - $21
Pinball Hall of Fame - $5
Pirates - The Legend of Black Kat - $12
Power Rangers: Dino Thunder - $8
Reel Fishing III - $7
Resident Evil Code Veronica X - $13
Rise of Kasai - $8
Rocky - $11
Scarface the World is Yours - $45
Scooby Doo First Frights - $13
Sega Superstars - $10
Sega Superstar Tennis - $10
Shrek Superslam - $8
Simpson's Hit & Run (Greatest Hits) -$50
Spiderman - $10
Sprint Cars Road to Knoxville - $6
Spy Hunter - $7
Spy Hunter 2 (missing manual) - $7
Starsky & Hutch - $7
SSX - $7
SSX 3 - $9
SSX On Tour - $8
Superman Shadow of Apokolips - $14
Super Monkey Ball Adventure - $10
Summoner - $10
Taito Legends - $15
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Battlenexus (missing manual) - $17
Teen Titans - $22
Theme Park Roller Coaster - $8
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2004 - $6
Thrillville - $6
Thrillville Off the Rails - $10
Time Crisis 3 - $23
Ty the Tasmanian Tiger - $11
Wheel of Fortune - $6
Virtua Fighter 4 (missing manual) - $6
Warriors of Might & Magic - $10
WWE Smackdown vs Raw - $11
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2007 (Sealed) - $45
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2007 - $17
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2009 - $10
WWE Smackdown Shut Your Mouth - $15
PS3
Band Hero - $6
Battlefield 3 - $6
Call of Duty Advanced Warfare - $6
Call of Duty Ghosts - $6
Call of Duty Mordern Warfare 3 - $6
Call of Duty 4 Modern Warfare - $7
Call of Juarez Bound in Blood - $9
Crysis 2 - $7
Dirt 3 - $10
Driver San Francisco - $25
Fifa Soccer 11 - $5
Fight Night Champion - $13
GTA IV Complete Edition - $25
Heavy Fire: Afghanistan - $10
Infamous - $6
Infamous 2 - $8
Lego 3: Beyond Batman - $8
Lego The Hobbit - $9
LittleBigPlanet - $9
Madden 2011 - $5
Metro: Last Night - $8
Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition - $12
MLB the Show 10 - $4
MLB the Show 11 - $4
Monster Jam Path of Destruction - $20
NCAA Football 11 - $9
Sports Champions - $5
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 14 [Masters Historic Edition] - $23
Transformers Fall of Cybertron - $35
Transformers War for Cybertron - $35
Virtua Tennis 3 - $6
WWE 2K16 - $12
PS Vita
Lumines Electronic Symphony - $16
Need for Speed Most Wanted - $20
Sly Cooper Collection - $50
Sega 32X (all cart only)
Primal Rage - $50
Virtua Fighter - $24
Virtua Racing - $20
Sega Dreamcast Games (disc & manual only***; do not have original cases unless noted CIB)
Centipede - $7
Plasma Sword Night of Bilstein - $50
Psychic Force 2012 - $25
Ready 2 Rumble Boxing - $12
Resident Evil Code Veronica (CIB) - $40
Rippin Riders - $5
Sega Bass Fishing - $8
Sega Rally 2 Championship - $12
Speed Devils - $15
Sword of Berserk: Gut's Rage (game only) - $65
Trick Style - $7
Zombie Revenge - $30
Sega Genesis (**CIB unless noted)
Aladdin (cart + manual) - $10
Double Dragon (cart & box) - $45
Game Genie (loose + booklet) - $20
Hard Drivin' (Missing Manual) - $15
John Madden Football (cart + manual) - $20
Lemmings (CIB) - $30
MERCS (cart & box) - $35
NBA Jam T.E. (CIB) - $20
Prime Time NFL Football starring Deon Sanders (cart +manual) - $9
Ren & Stimpy Show: Stimpy's Intervention (CIB) - $20
Road Rash II (CIB) - $22
Robocop 3 (CIB) - $40
Streets of Rage (cart only) - $22
Super Off-Road (CIB) - $30
WWF Super Wrestlemania (CIB) - $20
X-Men (cart + manual) - $15
Zero Tolerance (CIB) - $35
Sega Master System (CIB unless noted)
Alex Kidd: The Lost Stars - $28
California Games (missing manual) - $20
Choplifter - $18
Ghostbusters - $25
Great Baseball - $10
Monopoly - $10
Parlour Games - $10
Pro Wrestling - $14
Rocky - $17
Space Harrier (missing manual) - $18
Shinobi (includes map; missing manual) - $30
Xbox (all CIB)
MechAssault 2 Lone Wolf (Limited Edition) - $8
Project Gotham Racing - $6
Xbox 360 (CIB)
Assassin's Creed - $6
Assasin's Creed II - $6
Asssasin's Creed III - $6
Battlefield Hardline Deluxe Edition - $10
Battlefield 3 Limited Edition - $6
Bioshock - $7
Bioshock Infinite - $5
Call of Duty World at War - $9
Call of Juarez: Blood Bound - $10
Civilization Revolution - $6
CSI Hard Evidence - $9
Fifa Soccer 10 - $5
Fifa Work Cup South Africa 2010 - $5
Game of Thrones - $11
Gears of War - $9
Halo 4 - $5
Injustice Gods Among Us - $5
L.A. Noire - $7
Mass Effect - $5
Mass Effect 2 - $5
N3 Ninety-Nine Nights - $20
NBA 2K12 - $5
NHL 10 - $3
NHL 14 - $6
Saints Row 2 - $10
Saints Row The Third - $5
Skate 3 - $6
Star Trek Legacy - $18
Star Wars Kinect - $7
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 - $5
Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2008 - $5
Top Spin 3 - $6
Walking Dead Survival Instinct - $8
Wheel of Fortune - $14
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire -$5
Nintendo Wii (all CIB unless noted)
Animal Crossing City Folk - $20 (includes inserts but missing manual)
Celebrity Sports Showdown - $6
Dragon Quest Swords The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors - $20
Guitar Hero World Tour - $18
Little League World Series Baseball 2008 - $10
Madden 2013 - $14
Mario Kart Wii - $35
Mario Party 8 - $30
Mario Sports Mix - $30
Mario Super Sluggers (disc only) - $25
Mario Strikers Charged (disc only) - $10
NBA Live 09 All-Play - $5
New Super Mario Bros - $26
Pokemon Battle Revolution - $25
PokePark Wii: Pikachu's Adventure - $35
Punch-Out - $35
Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz - $6
Super Smash Bros. Brawl - $20
Tony Hawk Downhill Jam - $5
Tony Hawk Shred Big Air - $5
Warioware Smooth Moves - $22
Wii Sports - $22
Wii Sports Resort - $30
Wheel of Fortune - $6
WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2009 - $7

Context:
I grew up with a single mom, 2 older siblings. She was highly religious + the hispanic cultural aspect, so we were very involved in the church growing up (Christian church, non-Catholic).
My dad was in prison when I was growing up, so I knew nothing about him.
In the summer of 6-7th grade my mom had a major stroke, leaving her permanently disabled physically and mentally. She was no longer fit to have 3 kids as dependents as she was in the hospital 24/7 for a few months. My bio dad came to our old apartment and “took care” of us.
By this, I mean he was gone almost all the time for “work” (I don’t know what he actually ever did), would come home to our apartment and just pass out (sleep) for hours. When we needed food, he’d bring groceries. I can’t remember him ever cooking a meal for us, but our mom taught us how to cook when we were younger + my brother was studying culinary in high school (it was a class but he liked cooking).
Custody was weird at this time. My older sister was off to college and my brother and I were almost done with our school (for me, 8th grade and for him 12th) so we could transfer to the next “phase” of living. My brother and I stayed with a close coworker of my mother (older woman and her husband, also religious) until we both graduated (again, him 12th and me 8th).
I had a very weird mental concept of my parents at that time. I was 13-14, growing up without the only parent I did know, and my bio dad was never a real parent to me. I felt like a burden and like I could lose my home (affection, food, clothes, shelter) at any moment. I was also very emotionally shut down at this time.
When I graduated 8th grade I was made to decide whether I’d live with my bio mom (her older brothemy tio/uncle is her power of attorney at this point) aka my uncle and basically help take care of her medically (smth they already had me doing under the guise of “dog sitting” for them, which i also did) or live with my bio dad who was staying w his brother (my chachoo/uncle; dad is pakistani) and his wife.
I was 14-15, deciding what was best for me, a child. As I had already done summers taking care of my mom, I at the time thought it would be best for me developmentally to not have to be the dependent who takes care of their mother, so I chose my “dad’s house” (my uncle/aunt’s house).
I will always blame myself for this “choice.” My dad’s brother emotionally abused me for 5 years. I lived in his house and my dad was consistently missing for days. These periods of time would range from a few days to weeks. My aunt would drive me to school and I’d take a bus home during 9th. After that I transferred schools and just took a bus both ways. So I didn’t have to rely on them for much other than a house to live in, someone to occasionally pick me up/drop me off for school events, and food. But my dad got food stamps for having me so the food was paid for by my dad’s(/and technically mine) money.
I can’t remember most of it due to trauma, but the things my uncle would say to me still haunt me. He told me if I was his “daughter” (I came out as trans masc before this btw) he would have skinned me alive for doing [this](having a private nsfw twitter at 17, 3 months from 18), verbally berated me for at least 15 minutes bc i told my aunt “i got it” in response to her instructing me on putting dishes away, yelled and blamed me for being the reason he couldn’t hold his sick baby (bc i took “too long” in the bathroom), often would make fun of my chosen name and said he wouldn’t ever accept me as a real man until i had a pakistani name they chose, intimidated me, mocked my music and interests (anime/kpop), etc.
He was very high-strung and would constantly argue with my aunt, and my dad (aunt and dad did NOT get along so they would argue any time dad was home). He was racist (constantly talking shit about his latinx employees and our black neighbors; mind you im colombian/dominican on my mom’s side) and often threatened to “kill” our neighbor’s dog. one night my aunt’s dog went missing and uncle did that again but said he’d kill their dog (in case it attacked their dog) and he apparently got a gun out from their room! that he was hiding in that house this whole time! :))) so that’s fun to think about. :))))
he also once punched a hole in a door during an argument w my aunt.
eventually i turned 18 and i moved the fuck out. i went completely no contact with my uncle and aunt, and simultaneously, my dad (who never was consistently in my life anyways).
I haven’t talked to them willingly since 2017. Unfortunately ran into my uncle sometime between 2017-19 which sent me spiraling into anxiety about leaving the house, but I’m very lucky to have not seen him since.
I do not feel guilty going no-contact w him, but he is very involved w my dad’s family so I had to stop visiting my cousins bc of him, which i do feel sad about. they know the situation tho and have visited me since then.
I also don’t talk to my mother after 5-6 years of my tio (her older brothePOA) taking advantage of me being low-cost in-home healthcare for my mom. she gets disability from the government, which should’ve covered an aid, and therapy, and yet none of those things have happened.
im low/no-contact w my mom’s family. pre-stroke we were very involved in the family as kids. but the whole losing my mom/having to now be responsible for myself as well as heemotional abuse from my uncle made me not want to be involved with them anymore.
everyone always asked about her, as if i’m not the youngest child and was not literally 12. they’d never ask my 18 y/o sister or my 16 y/o brother, bc i was the only one around taking care of our mom. after 2017, i stopped doing this and i don’t answer calls/texts from her or her family. i felt very taken advantage of only after discussing the facts with my boyfriend. he was the one who informed me that her disability should cover a home health aide, and that $500 for 3-4 months was way lower than the compensation should’ve been.
i mentioned religion a lot in the beginning , because my mom is a devout christian. prior to the stroke i wasn’t allowed to ready books pertaining to magic of any kind (harry potter, twilight, anything w magic) and she was extremely weird about certain anime and policed what i watched/read strictly. my cousins gave me manga as a kid and bc the characters kissed (male and female, not smut, not even adult in any way) she made me return them.
post-stroke she loosened up some, but when i’d be staying w her over the summer to take care of her, she’d constantly tell me any anime i was watching was demonic, japanese and korean music i listened to was the devil’s music, and even my school idol love live rhythm game was the same. i was extremely into kpop and anime for most of high school so she was essentially telling me everything i liked was demonic and i couldn’t like/watch/listen to it around her. considering that was everything i liked, it never felt like i could be myself around her.
i also came out as trans to her and she’d consistently deadname me until i had enough and had an argument w her in which she finally changed. but now im nonbinary, and no longer trans masc and she and my uncle still call me the masc name i went by instead of the one i told them to use (shortened and gender neutral, not a new name at all) and don’t understand my pronouns, which makes it hard to want to be in touch w her and her antiquated beliefs.
but i still feel guilty, because she’s my mother and i still love her.
fun facts not included in the story:

• my aunt and uncle had a baby girl 1 year from me leaving, who i practically raised (they guilt tripped my sister into taking me in after hs graduation but then bc i was their live-in nanny, they all of a sudden wanted to take me to college if i stayed! fuck no)
  
• my father never took me to medical appointments so from ~2011-2017 i had no medical care (got an infection that got so out of hand my eye has permanent scarring now! thanks dad 🩷) and had no insurance from 2017-2023 due to no parental support so my health is permanently fucked due to my father’s negligence.
  
• found out my dad was kicked out and subsequently divorced from my mom because he was doing crack cocaine or meth in the house, while i was still a baby! gold star parenting!!
  
• was often put in the middle of arguments (aunt-dad, dad-uncle) and once was kicked out of the house w my dad because of one between him and his brother, leaving me w my dad for 5-6 hours where he took my sim card and i had no way to contact anyone and was stuck driving who knows where w him and going to his probably drug addict friend’s house. (i was definitely under 18 during all of this) this was after i had been staying at my cousin’s, where i could’ve been left safely, but my uncle forced me to pack my stuff and go w my father after he took his house key :)
  

this doesn’t even cover everything in my fucked up life, but it’s a complicated situation.
this kind of turned into a vent post lol but if anyone else has absolutely batshit insane family, i’d love to commiserate w you 😎

I discovered, and subsequently devoured WHOLE, the Empyrean books (Fourth Wing and Iron Flame) in about a two-week period, nearly a month ago. It was my first foray into the romantasy genre. (I'd read Six of Crows, found it B+, and am a millennial who was present for the Harry Potter and, to a lesser extent Twilight, zeitgeists, enjoyed both! But am generally just someone who gravitates toward hyped books to see what all the fuss is about. As in, I rarely get into them so much that I DOWNLOAD THE REDDIT APP. Which happened to me post-Iron Flame.)
Like a lot of folks, I came to ACOTAR to cure (or maybe just cover?) my Empyrean hangover. And let me say, I really did enjoy them. I read them straight away after Empyrean, not missing a BEAT. I just finished Silver Flames this weekend. But the rate of voraciousness with which I read them what somewhat dampened compared to the Empyrean books, and I don't feel completely empty inside.*
And so here's my question for fellow walkers of this particular path... have you found that after finishing ACOTAR, you're like... doing surprisingly ok? Because I feel really just fine! I felt like Silver Flames ended in a way that did not make me feel despair at the next book not yet being available. And maybe that's why, like it did not really end on a cliffhanger? I'm trying to figure out if it's all basically like a drug and the first one you read will always be the BEST and nothing will ever compare - and by that logic if I had read ACOTAR first, it would have been the same - or perhaps it has something to do with the cliffhanger, or... a third possibility... maybe I just didn't like ACOTAR as much. I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.
Wondering what other people thing about these two series being so fervently placed as companions!
*The fact that I do not feel totally empty inside is not something I am lamenting, it's actually good to feel like a functioning adult this time! But I'm trying to figure out WHY.

Alien-Nation Chapter 202: Property Damage

All Chapters of Alien-Nation
First Chapter of Alien-Nation Previous Chapter [Next]

Chapter Summary:

Morsh breaks Goshen's omni-pad to wipe anything incriminating she might've gotten out of her interrogation targets, then they have good conversations with Amilita
Oh, and Elias Wakes up
The borrowed fleet car was a far cry from a noblewoman's private vehicle. Even at full acceleration, it lagged far behind the ambulance, until it had disappeared from view. Finally, they found a building that seemed far too tall to be made of brick, with square windows and white curtains.
"This is it," Natalie confirmed, pointing at the "H" on the roof.
"You're sure it's not that one?"
"It's still under construction, see?" She pointed at the construction equipment, and now that Morsh squinted she could see that the far corner was still unfinished. She grunted unhappily and started to approach the small rooftop landing pad.
"Fleet car 117, please go to visitor parking," traffic control spoke through the fleet car's speakers, and the heads' up display highlighted the part where another officer car was already headed toward. Probably Amilita.
"This is Nataliska of house Rakten, we have business with the occupant of that patient. We will be setting down on the roof."
"Helipad is not for visitors," the accented trade shil repeated herself. "Please do not go."
Nataliska leaned forward and flicked off the comms, and Morsh guided the fleet car to the 'Helipad' and set down next to the already-empty ambulance.
She hopped from the car and sprinted to the main door. "Come on." The door from the roof was locked, however, and when Morsh gave it a more firm tug, it popped the handle clean off.
"Now what?" Nataliska asked, but before Morsh could even think to answer the girl was already in motion, thin and dexterous fingers finding a part of steel in the ripped apart internals to peel back, the latch opening with a click.
"Nice work," she complimented her ward for her persistence.
She may have celebrated too early, because they now found themselves lost in the bowels of the alien building. Nataliska seemed to move with a purpose, though, pressing a button, and a lift opened.
Going down a couple floors in a box that felt entirely too shaky for Morsh's liking opened, only to find themselves immediately lost as the doors opened. The staff milling about wore various colored uniforms, probably meant to indicate something about their speciality, though Morsh saw no bloodstains or helpful lettering to guide the unfamiliar.
"Where to?" Nataliska asked, uncertainly.
Morsh was increasingly sure that hospitals served a secret universal purpose: To hide away anyone suffering in a maze that only employees could solve. Whether on-board the depths of a warship, a space station, planetside on an embattled world, or even in an alien-constructed, retrofitted building, she always got lost whenever she found herself in one.
"Hey, I can't read this stuff," Morsh waved a hand at the alien lettering and raised her omni-pad, letting it translate what text it saw. It took a couple times of double-checking, counting the third one from the top. "This one says 'child-medicine.' Is Elias still considered a child?"
"Pediatrics?" Nataliska sounded the human word out.
Morsh squinted at her omni-pad, and then back at the sign. "I think so?"
The bodyguard loathed the insurgency for the delays they'd caused. Had it not been for them, then she wouldn't be stuck navigating these hallways, and the new hospital next door would be finished already. At least something about this place would be familiar.
"I think we follow these colored lines on the wall. It's the same color as the sign."
"Alright," it was as good an idea as any, and they went around the corner to find a waiting room.
"Let's try one of the attendants?" Nataliska suggested, striding forward before Morsh could ask her to wait. The woman behind the desk had the sagging skin of someone from a high-gravity world, though at least they had the tendency to be stocky, but strong. Yet she seemed almost too round for her chair, bloated underneath the strange mottling that ran up her exposed arms and lower neck. She frowned from behind her thick-framed glasses at the pair of approaching shil'vati. Morsh sensed some vague hostility, but the woman certainly also seemed utterly impotent, so she filed it away as a triviality and instead took the room's surroundings, gauging the others in it. No one in the waiting room seemed particularly dangerous, though they were all keeping their distance.
Nataliska leaned forward. "Hi," she used the human greeting, though Morsh realized she'd forgotten to activate her translator and missed the next bunch of words. By the time she'd gotten it online, she'd missed everything except "Elias Sampson."
The blank stare returned showed no more understanding than Morsh had of what Nataliska had just said.
"I need to see Elias Sampson," Nataliska tried again. "He was taken here. He was hurt badly. He's my friend, and I need to check in on him." She tapped hurriedly on her omni-pad, and then smiled, pointing at a photo of him she'd taken. The woman glanced at the screen with disinterest, and then huffed.
"Try the Emergency Ward, or maybe surgery," was the only answer they got before the strangely-shaped woman started to rise from her desk.
"Where's that?" Nataliska's patience was obviously running thin.
"East wing. * " The woman finished standing from her desk and waddled away from the glass partition before either of them could ask where the 'East Wing*' was.
"Thank you!" Natalie said, always polite.
"Now what?"
"We find the East Wing." Natalie glanced at the window. "It's...uh...evening, so, away from there. That means..." she pointed, and started down the hallways.
Morsh shook her head. This felt like it was getting them nowhere. Worse, they quickly found dead-ends where they couldn't proceed through without a pass of some sort- and no one seemed to come along the particular hall that they'd gone down so they could follow them inside to get further east. Nataliska had insisted Morsh not put a shoulder to the locked door- avoiding incidents seemed to be a priority.
Eventually a nurse wearing blue scrubs rounded the corner, and started to double-back when Morsh decided she'd had enough of being made to wander aimlessly and flanked the human, cutting off her retreat.
Nataliska brought her omni-pad back up again, pointing at the picture. "Elias Sampson- sorry, I should start over. Do you know where surgery is, or perhaps the emergency room? East Wing?"
The nurse studied the picture for a few seconds longer than the secretary had, and then looked at Nataliska for a couple more, as if thinking about what to say in response. "Ask her to guide us," Morsh suggested, the translator speaking her own words back out for her before she shut off its speaker. "That way if she's thinking of misdirecting us, at least she's wasting her time, too," she added.
"Why would she do that?" Nataliska asked.
*"I'm sorry, are you next of kin or family?" *The nurse asked dutifully.
"Well, no, but I'm a noblewoman, and he was hurt badly. I ask that you aid us. It's very important that I'm there when he wakes up."
The corners of her mouth dipped slightly lower. "I see. Are you listed as his emergency contact?"
"Please. It's important."
"Of course it is. I'm going to have to ask your name."
"Nataliska of house Rakten. I'm right here-" she began scrolling through the photos, until she found one of the two of them side-by-side. "See?" This time the nurse didn't even bother looking.
"Sampson...tell you what, wait here, and I'll go check the emergency contact list-"
The nurse's indirect refusals to give any straight answers only ended when their demands were joined by the huffing arrival of the Lieutenant Colonel.
"Sorry. I was just setting up a place to work from when I saw you walk by," she said, panting the words out, and gauging the situation.
Morsh was tired of hearing the girl repeat herself in asking, and decided to speak the inevitable question for her. "Where's Elias? We've been trying to find him."
Amilita turned to the nurse they'd cornered, and activated her translator. "Please show them to the patient's room. I'm General Amilita, Acting commander of the Delaware Garrison." The woman paled slightly, and Morsh switched off her translator halfway through repeating Amilita's translator's English back into Shil'vati.
"Of course, ma'am," the woman said in trade shil'. And just like that, the three of them were off with a guide, though Amilita peeled off the group after only a few dozen steps.
What a strange inversion it was when a combined noblewoman's title and presence of a bodyguard couldn't get the respect a military uniform apparently commanded here.
"This is the room," Nataliska relayed for the Nurse, who immediately scampered off. The door opened, revealing a nurse who was as startled to see them as the first nurse had been, and Nataliska started drilling her with rapid-fire questions. The new Nurse was surprised that the shil'vati girl was fluent in English, and answered each question quickly, if shortly. Morsh switched back on her translator, but it was already too late to catch most of it.
When Nataliska had apparently finished her questions, Morsh let the nurse slip past and leaned in. "So? What'd you learn?"
"He's 'stable,' whatever that means, and has been sedated for his own good." She sighed. "I guess I'll go into the room, and talk with the doctors attending. Maybe they know when he can be woken up." She took a second to think. "I wonder what machines they used to use to bring people out of comas." Then she smiled a little bit- the first one she'd had in a while. "I wonder if they just slapped or shook their patients? Or was it a really loud noise? Do you think there's a prescribed one that they'd always use?"
She tried the handle, the question clearly on the tip of her tusk.
Except there was no one to ask. The room had been left empty, with just Elias laying there unconscious. The boy had filled out since the early days, when the newly-minted 'Natalie' had confessed she'd found a boy to finally talk and sit alone with, then proudly showing off a photo she'd snuck. He'd looked almost malnourished, waifish then. Now, laying still in the cot, despite all the lean muscle he'd put on through maturing, he looked no less vulnerable. The various faces he wore with such an intense focus and force of will were gone, leaving a vacant expression she'd never thought she'd see him wear. The planet could think what it wanted about boys and what they were supposed to be- the reality was they were still boys. No amount of arguing would ever make her feel anything other than a twist in the gut, and a feeling that something had gone horribly wrong.
The staff hadn't even a doc bot left in the room to keep an eye. There were distant squeaks of shoes on the shiny surface that humans loved to floor their interiors with, muted conversations drifting down the hallways, but only a few people milling about. Whatever the doctors had done, they felt they'd finished their work and cleared out.
"So, what now?" Morsh asked.
"We could wait?" Nataliska suggested, trying to hide how nervous she was. "I mean, maybe he'll wake up on his own? Or they're getting one of those machines I saw on TV."
"What machine?" Morsh asked.
"Well, when the person's asleep, then someone gets a machine that makes a whining noise." Suddenly, Natalie got quiet.
"And then what?"
"...then they rip open the guy's shirt, and uh, it's not what you think! They put their hands on it- his chest- the part where his heart is, I mean. And they put these metal pads on him, and someone says 'clear' and then he wakes up with a jolt."
"Uh-huh. And they just put this on TV, for anyone to see?"
"It's not like that! It's a legitimate medical procedure!"
"The nurse didn't say anything at all about that? Like, not even a rough idea on if that's what they're going to do, or when they're going to be back?"
Nataliska shrugged helplessly. "No, not really. I could wait with him? Or at least keep an eye over him, and ask anyone that comes by."
"Might be smart," Morsh agreed. "I'll stand guard. Want me to close the door? I know he doesn't like me all that much ever since the, well, you know. Everything."
"Thanks," she said. "I'm just worried about being seen alone with a boy behind a closed door."
"Come on, it's you two. Whatever went on, no one else knows about you crying in your room for days on end. I'll leave the two of you to chat alone and sort things out."
"Thanks, Morsh. You're the best. It's fine though, you can leave the door open for now, and I want to stay here, just in case." She walked in and pulled the chair up alongside the bed and gave the bodyguard a slight smile.
The bodyguard felt the minutes tick by. It bothered her that he'd been dumped there without so much as an attendant, with all manner of wires and human machines watching him in their stead. Pathetic. At least the room had an actual door and glass windows, curtained for privacy. It seemed they were very short-staffed, but that did keep her job of watching for threats simpler, and having to defend just the one point of entry made life easy. She idly tapped her pocket to make sure she still had that crucial object before an idea worked its way into her head.
She knocked on the doorframe, and Nataliska raised her head from her omni-pad.
"Kid, you're okay to take over guarding him for a bit?" Morsh asked.
"Huh?" She asked, standing and coming up to the door.
Morsh handed Nataliska her pistol. "I've gotta take a leak." The eyes of a nurse who wandered by were as large as saucers at the sight of the weapon, and she hurried her footsteps away from the pair.
"Uh...yeah," Nataliska answered, fumbling the grip for a moment. She started to stare at it and look down the barrel before Morsh pushed the tip down at the floor, making eye contact.
"That part faces whatever you want to kill," Morsh reminded her young ward, feeling a sudden sense of unease about leaving the same girl she'd just chewed out over acting before thinking alone with a pistol. One that Morsh clearly needed to actually teach her to use, too.
"How do I...?" Nataliska asked nervously, almost fumbling the pistol as she tried to hold it out for her bodyguard to inspect.
"The safety's on. This button here. Actually, you know what? Here. Take the knife. Don't use it unless you have to." The swap was quick, and Morsh felt the reassuring feel of her custom laspistol on her thigh once it had settled back into its quickdraw holster.
"Um..." the girl hesitated. Morsh prayed she didn't need to tell her which end to stick a threat with. Then again, common sense with nobles was like oxygen. The higher up someone went, the rarer it was to find.
"Just for a second. If you need me, press the panic button on your omni-pad, and hold them off with the knife until then. You understand?"
"I understand," she echoed, inching closer to the door, as if already imagining someone trying to sneak past her.
Morsh felt the unfamiliar bulge shift in her pocket as she made her way down the hall. The old human hospital with alien writing on the wall still threatened to misdirect her from the point where she'd seen a particular sign. It took only a couple turns she'd committed to remembering before she came across it again. She pushed open the double-doors and took in the enormous room, pleased with herself that it was almost certainly what she'd hoped it would be.
The small technician lady stood from behind her desk, itself separated with its own wall. Morsh let out a low whistle from between her tusks. "Whew, that is a big machine you have in there." She squinted exaggeratedly. "Not a lot of wiggle room for a patient, though," she muttered as if in contemplation. "Gotta have some courage to crawl in there and be treated here, I gotta admit. Say, Doc, you know I left my knife behind. And this thing here- well, let's just pretend it's not here at all," she tapped her holster, before fishing out and tossing the omni-pad she'd pickpocketed off Amilita into the center hole, watching in fascination how its course changed before sticking fast to one of the inner walls, defying gravity. "So, why don't you turn on that machine for me? It's that magnetic...uh...thing."
She glanced down at the workstation the woman was at, and noted the various pieces of metal arrayed on the desk. Her laspistol should be safe here- or at least better here than in Nataliska's shaky hands.
"Magnetic Resonance Imager, and I think that would be a very bad idea. It would-" she eyed Morsh with increasing alarm as the bodyguard strode closer until she leaned over the woman, leering.
"I didn't ask what you thought."
Swallowing nervously, the much smaller woman started trying to explain what it was in the crudest trade shil, stumbling over her words.
"Didn't ask what it was, either, I said turn it on." The little woman's babbling ceased, and she quaked where she stood. "Do it, or trust me, you'll need more than whatever it can do for you."
The woman finally did as she was told, and the omni-pad began to promptly bang around the inside, until with a final, terrifying crack it went silent, and a warning chime sounded.
The woman let out a wail of distress and then stared balefully up at Morsh in a very: See? I told you so! gaze, as if missing the entire point. Morsh only let out a low whistle after she pulled open the door. Some people just could not be shown a good time or anything neat. The omni-pad was now stuck fast to the inner wall of the circular device, having punched a hole right through the plastic. "Do you have any idea how much that cost? This hospital has one of those, and parts for it- I don't even know where-"
Morsh pried the omni-pad loose, having to brace herself against it and pull with all her strength and then tested to see if it would switch on, noting with some satisfaction that it was certainly wiped of whatever it contained. She'd held corpses of comrades with more life left in them.
"Bill us."
Besides, how useful could the machine still be in this day and age? Morsh shook her head. Humans could keep their sentimentality and attachment to outdated tools. She'd prefer a doc bot any day to the confinement chamber.
She came back to find the situation outside Elias's room more or less as she'd left it and patted her ward on the shoulder after retaking possession of the knife with a genuinely relieved sigh.
"Sorry about that, I've been holding it in since I broke orbit. No visitors?"
Nataliska shook her head. Morsh sighed. "Then we're probably going to be here a while. But you know who isn't, and I suggest you go settle things with? Amilita."
"But, what if he-"
"I'll message you immediately," she promised. "Now, go, before he does wake up and you're still not back."
That got the girl moving, Morsh noted with some satisfaction.

Settlement

The hospital smelled. None of the scents were familiar to her, some of them were even superficially pleasant, and she imagined she might even enjoy the cleansers or aerosol sprays used to disinfect if she shut her eyes to relieve them from the long, harsh blue lights and imagine a breeze or spring. Oh, to close one's eyes and pretend the world isn't what it is.
Natalie was reluctant to leave Elias's side but Morsh was right. She had to talk with Amilita.
It took a few tries, but she eventually was directed to the same hallway she'd been in before. She stopped at the open doorway to see that the giantess had taken over an empty storeroom and made it into a temporary office headquarters, resignedly signing off orders from her wrist-pad in rapid-fire motions. The rings under the old family friend's eyes were visible even through the semi-transparent image of her wrist-pad. When she shifted her focus and noticed the young noblewoman snooping at the threshold, Amilita stood to greet her before then ducking her head in a sign of respect and submission to the authority Natalie wielded, something Amilita had only done for her mother.
"I hear Morsh has been busy protecting the boy's privacy." The words were offered plainly and left for Natalie to determine how they were meant. She'd had enough of assuming the better of people after today.
"That's right, I stationed Morsh there. I hope that isn't going to be a problem."
Amilita put her hands up, showing off the white bandages taped around her knuckles as fresh flesh grew back underneath, "No, not at all. I've even requested the boy's medical files not be updated to reflect his recent visit here." With her other hand, she tapped a small stack of printed out papers.
Natalie blinked at the news. "Why?"
"His death would have been framed by Goshen as a suicide," she muttered.
"What? How? That's ridiculous. He was kidnapped!"
"I know," Amilita poked a finger at the gauze to again emphasize what she'd done at the sight. "Perhaps I ought to explain how I found him. He was hanging by his belt, dangling from a pipe. When I carried him out, he was barely breathing from asphyxiation and with marks on his neck. From what I can tell, they used the doc bot to check the airway and noted no spinal fractures. What matters is that these notes only include injuries, not their context." Natalie already knew from his treatment at school that he'd have a history of bruising, swelling, and cuts. Injuries she now understood why he'd wanted to treat on his own, rather than potentially hand information over. As she considered the implications, Amilita cleared her throat, lowering her hand. "What have you heard about when boys attempt suicide, Nataliska?"
"Uh, well..." she didn't want to appear ignorant, but she knew it wasn't exactly common. "I hear they choose quiet methods? I guess it's so wives won't try and stop them?"
"Usually it's described as a cry for help. When a boy threatens it, it's as a desperate gambit to force his terrible wives to release him. The women either lose him and are forever known and outed as husband-killers and neglectful. Or they take him to the hospital and at least avoid the 'boy-killer' charges. Threatening suicide is the final move of the truly desperate."
"Wasn't he desperate, though?" She felt she was missing something.
"What do those women who were in his life say in their defense, though? And remember, the medical records will leave Goshen out. It's just his injuries that are left in."
Natalie blinked. "Well, I guess they don't just confess?"
The officer's tone turned weary and she seemed to deflate some at Natalie's lack of answer. "I don't know if it's because I've been spending too much time around the wrong people, or if I'm suddenly sensitive to it after having a son. People always say about boys who attempt suicide: 'He couldn't handle it.' That he couldn't take the prospect of a life of housework and the pressures of fatherhood, which is always said to be easy. That, or he felt he couldn't compete with the pressures of acting like and being treated as a woman if he had a job." Amilita bit her lip. "I don't want that said about Elias- they won't know about the circumstances of the kidnapping, or anything else."
The young noble bristled, some heat entering her voice, "The trial should be easy enough to point back to. It doesn't matter if they dig it up."
"You can't appeal decisions on admittance or acceptance to a future job if they never even tell you they dug so deep into your past in the first place. I worry that if I step in and demand the circumstances be included, it'll be so unusual that people will still doubt him. They'll think I pulled strings. If you do it, they'll think you're doing the same, all to protect him. See the problem? We can't add it. So it is for the best that this stays off his record completely. We made sure we're not burying him physically, and now I'm making sure we're not burying his future." She inhaled, and then looked Natalie in the eyes. "I'm fine with the only record being in your hands, holding it in trust for him to decide if he wants to re-enter it into his medical history or not." She broke her eye contact and tapped the small stack of papers meaningfully. "I'm asking that you respect his privacy, because I have a duty to enter these into his record. But if they happen to go wandering, well, it's for the better then. I just ask that you...not share these to the datanet." She added the last part quietly.
Natalie nodded mutely. Her mouth opened, but no noise escaped at first. It took several moments to process that he possibly had been willing to kill himself to keep her family secret buried. Elias, You helped me when I told you my family's secret and Myrrah came to us. I ran and wasn't there to help when someone came to you over yours. There's still at least one more thing I can do.
"If the record is left out, would that help Goshen's case? I mean...what if she isn't punished for this?"
"My personal testimony could condemn her by itself, and you still retain the physical medical record. Not to mention you could weigh in, and so could he, and it would remain out of any record or background check. Besides, Goshen's cuffed to a bed in the commoner ward, and I doubt she'll live much longer."
"You almost killed her?"
"Well, I wasn't gentle," Amilita admitted, not at all bothered by the admission. "But, no, she is seen as the one responsible for the loss of the noblewomen. The fleet and Nobles don't want to pin the loss of three system lady matriarchs on a martyr. Especially when one of them's a scioness of the Maudalenti family- you wouldn't know them but they're renowned for their brave military service."
Natalie's head spun. She'd actually heard of that family. "Why was he able to take so many of such high stature?"
"It takes considerable power or favor to bully one's way onto this world, past all the secrecy and safety demands, and even more to get to enjoy a pleasant time in a green zone. So naturally, almost all of them had it in spades. Enough to where their families could afford to chase Goshen to the ends of the Galaxy to make an example of her if they wanted, and I suspect greatly that they do. Even in the Delaware barracks, they're furious at Goshen for losing the Marine hostages, and ordering repeated long charges over open terrain against railguns. There's no state I can transfer her to, thanks to all the borrowed troops. There's hardly any that I can think of that didn't lose at least a pod or two. The sad reality is Galatea Goshen hasn't a friend left in the galaxy, let alone one here who can stand up to all that. Normally when this many interested parties want someone in uniform to be hung up by her ears the officers are able to close ranks and stop them, but for the life of me I can't imagine why anyone would. Azraea is thought to have died because Goshen couldn't get the job done." Then she sighed and looked skyward. "Even the Goddesses would abandon her now. The warrior Goddess Krek was bloodthirsty and loyal, but she would have hated the senseless casualties Goshen pushed for. And now, even I'm abandoning her over what she did to Elias." Her eyes drifted back down to meet Natalie's. "Do you understand what I'm saying? She's unlikely to live to see a trial."
She was laying Goshen out on a line.
"'Justice will be done'," Natalie promised, quoting an ancient tome carved into stone, weathered away by sea spray in the millennia since. Amilita hung her head ever so slightly deeper. Natalie shouldn't tip her hand, she knew, but then again Amilita also dared not interfere.
"Do you know when he'll wake up?"
"No," she said. "They sedated him on the flight over, apparently for his own protection, and it won't last. I'm told this may be a polite way of saying that he attacked them."
She blinked and started to stand up, "Then if you'll excuse me, I need to watch over him."
"Of course," Amilita almost whispered. "I'm sorry," so quiet and tender the words could hardly be said to have come from someone of Amilita's rank and physical stature.

Living Dead Boy

Natalie returned to find that an unknown Marine had joined Morsh near Elias's door, the former staying a respectful distance across the hallway. She wore a darker blue patch, indicating she wasn't here from Delaware's garrison. She strode right past Morsh, who made a point of shutting the door behind her.
Natalie stared at the stack of papers on the small table next to the chair she waited in, her gaze wandering about the room listlessly, coming once more to fall on its sole occupant
His chest rose and fell steadily, with an annoying 'beep' repeating at a constant interval indicating he was being monitored in at least some sense. His clothing was disheveled, like when she'd first met him.
She turned on her omni-pad, and sent a panoramic photo of the room to her mom, not even managing a smile. Just giving you an update. I don't know much. Watching the doctors, when they come in. Don't show anyone, obviously. It felt strange to even have to ask such a courtesy.
The message back was immediate: How much would I need to pay to have one here, just to answer my questions and look over Elias, and not just disappear somewhere else at random times?
The medical staff had wielded immense power, even in the face of a noble name. It reminded her more of a cult than a proper medical institution. Still, on Earth, most services seemed to have a price, even things that were held sacred. Thanks to the exchange rate the price was often rather pitiably small, surely, one doctor wouldn't take too much.
She was about to respond with a rough estimate when she thought she saw him stir, though it might have just been the sheet settling.
"Elias?" She asked, leaning over and placing her hand gently on his forearm, only for him to jerk awake and slap her hand off.
He had been stirring slowly, then more quickly and feverishly until he began kicking his legs, yanking the carefully tucked bed sheets out of where they were pressed and tangling them around his feet. The beeping had grown to a frantic and erratic pace, and a tone began to blare as he ripped something off his finger.
"Elias, calm down!"
Instead, he swung his legs out from the hospital bed and tried to push himself off of the bed and to the door, instead going down in a heap as the little white sheet slid on the slick floor. He let out a slight cry of pained alarm that would wrench at any woman's heart. Bright eyes wide and wild, he lay there for a second or two, and Natalie hesitated. She couldn't help but feel responsible in some way for the pain he was in, and so she backed off, and instead crouched down, showing her empty palms.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," Natalie tried to soothe him, though he glanced over her shoulder at the exit, then around the room as her words sank in and he met her eyes- just for a moment, before he paused and gave her a second glance. "Natalie?" He rubbed at his eyes. "Sorry, everything was a bit blurry for a second there..."
The momentary expression of relief that settled over her was shattered when the door was suddenly shoved open, knocking Natalie forward and toward Elias, and then everyone began screaming at each other, all at the same time.
The poor Nurse let out a shriek of terror as Morsh pulled the hapless woman sprawling back out of the doorway by her fabric collar, legs and hands in the air as she slid.
Natalie tried to shield Elias's crouched form while finally cutting through everyone else's screaming with a simple command: 'Get out!' Elias was trying to push past her, but she couldn't let him run, she'd just found him! Then Morsh tried to step through the door, saying something about how an alert had gone off. Elias had half blocked her off with his body and gotten into some semblance of a fighting stance, and was now trying to protect Natalie from her own bodyguard. Each of them was blundering through trying to protect each other, but the chaos of the situation ensured that none succeeded at anything but getting in each other's way.
"Get OUT!" Natalie roared again. Morsh knew when to pick her battles, and when to follow orders, and slammed the door shut so hard it hurt her ears. Angry voices on the other side went back and forth, but Natalie pushed herself against the frame, even as the newly-conscious Elias gathered himself up and met her eyes.
All Chapters of Alien-Nation
First Chapter of Alien-Nation Previous Chapter [Next]
Author's Notes:
Also, good news. My father's made it through his surgery! A lot of stress taken off. He is in good health, and good spirits. Editor is progressing through what is occupying him. I would like to thank Guardsman Miku and Tumbleman for their efforts in helping with the editing.
Archive Of Our Own contains the latest version of Alien-Nation with a lot of added scenes, flow improvements, and so on. (You can also download the story as an ePub for reading on your personal device, if you feel like doing so, though I recommend waiting until Book One is truly finished.)
Link to Archive Version here: