The now deceased guru Robert Adams was Robert Spiegel, and there is a huge history.

Did Robert Adams really meet Ramana Maharshi? The answer is a decisive NO! His claim of being at Ramana Ashram anytime between 1946-1950 has been proven false.
Some things that stand out in this report is that Robert Adams is obviously Robert Spiegel by the pictures. Also, by his marriage certificate to Leonie Maxwell who has been positively identified as Nicole Adams and linked to the Infinity Institute. The address listed as “1985 Bathgate Ave. Bronx, N.Y.” on his marriage certificate and military record leaves no room for doubt: we are referring to the correct Robert Spiegel. He was born in 1932, making him 16 years old in 1948.
If you scroll to the bottom and examine his military record he worked from 1948-1951 as a General Clerk for the Brazilian Trade Bureau in NYC before he began active duty from 1951-1954 where he served in Korea and was awarded a Bronze Medal for valor in combat. He separated from the US Army in Jan. 14, 1954, married Nicole (Leonie) in 1954 and had his first child Sharon (aka Melanie/Amber) in 1957; second daughter Michelle (aka Avantae) in 1960. He obtained a mail order doctorate degree from the “College of Divine Metaphysics,” in Indianapolis, Indiana (still around) and traveled the USA lecturing on “Science of the Mind,” and a “7 Day Stop Smoking” program as Dr. J. Robert Spiegel.
At this writing Nicole Adams (aka Leonie Maxwell) is alive, 95 years old, and in a hospital (Cape Fear Valley Medical Center) in Fayetteville, North Carolina; two of her grandchildren are missing and there is an ongoing police investigation regarding their adoptive mother Michelle/Avantae who now goes by the name Avantae Deven. Avantae continues to post quotes about love, light, and peace, her idyllic childhood with saintly (rarely home) Robert Adams, and human brotherhood while refusing to answer questions about her two missing children —their possible whereabouts — or why she waited almost 1.5 years to make her strange 911 call to report them missing. https://selfreflexiveloopphotography.photo.blog/2024/05/16/advaita-teacher-robert-adams-was-really-robert-spiegel/

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What’s in the closet, Kirsty?
He knew I hid a secret.
I smiled, tried to look confused.
He waited, crossing his arms.
I worried that he'd already seen. He had.
What else could he think about the pile?
His wife’s a cheater. She has another life. Another husband. Children.
He’d never believe the truth: I’m not a cheater; there’s no other life; no other man; I don’t know who the children are who visit me at night.
But I did have a secret. And maybe it’s fair to say another life, even if was smaller and against my will.
I should have destroyed those frames, burned the photos within. Now it looked like I saved them, cherished them. The truth couldn’t be farther. I feared to touch anything to do with… whatever they are…with one exception.
“It started last Halloween,” I said to George, my husband, my real husband.
He stopped packing for a moment, working out the impossibility of this statement. “I’m taking the girls to my parents.” He resumed the tossing of shirts, pants, etc. into our big suitcase.
“It’s true,” I said, but weakly. The children in the picture are at least six and four respectively. They were born six months ago.
“They’re not… my kids,” I said of the boys in the photos. They’re not kids is what I almost said.
George stopped and squeezed the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. “Kirsty,” he said slowly, “there are baby pictures. I saw them.”
“That’s-”
He quickly raised his finger, exasperated, angry, done.
“The first picture is you holding a newborn, and…” He swallowed painfully, his throat gone dry. It always does when he’s upset. “And the father in that picture, with his arm around you, isn’t me.”
When I couldn't deny it, he nodded like he knew all along our marriage would end.
We were happy. We really were. George and I had managed to overcome the typical breakdown that often comes with raising children. Only since last Halloween had distance been made by me.
I should have told him as soon as it started.
“Girls!” he called as I followed him down the stairs to the front hall of our lovely home. We’d scrimped and sacrificed to buy and keep this place, our dream by the lake. He’d been so proud. I couldn’t tell him I wanted to leave the first night sleeping there.
Cara and Ella protested through play, ignoring the adults, continuing to jump on an old box they’d long since flattened. Rays from the western sun placed my daughters into an inspired, hallowed light, and I started to cry. He was going to take my babies away.
George opened the door, intending, I’m sure, to drop the suitcase in the car before returning to physically carry the girls out.
But he hesitated in the doorway.
“George?”
The suitcase fell with a solid thud on the floor. “There’s no way,” he said.
“What?”
“There’s no way,” he said, with emphasis on the last word, “you would have had time for…this…”
Not defining "this" as cheating was progress. “Yes!”
He glared, quieting my desperate enthusiasm. I wasn’t off the hook. “Tell me. The truth.”
“I can’t.”
He reached for the suitcase.
“No, not because I don’t want to,” I protested. “I don’t know what’s happening!” I sat on the carpeted steps and stared through blurred vision at my trembling hands. The shriek I’d filled the house with - “happening!” - had put a halt to the box's obliteration. Cara and Ella hesitated for a few seconds before leaping into action.
Cara, the oldest, six, punched her dad in the buttocks. “You have to be nice!”
Ella, four, sat beside me and patted my trembling hands. “It’s okay, mummy.”
Such lovely daughters. Nothing like the boys in those photos when they were this age.
George grasped Cara's wrists and gently walked her back into the house, using his foot to kick the suitcase from the swing of the front door.
"It's alright, girls," he said with weak resolve. "Go and play."
"No!" Cara shouted. She kicked at her father and he pulled her close into a bearhug. Gradually, the girls calmed and were convinced to return to the box in the front room.
"Kirsty," George said, "you have to tell me." He sat down on the step beside me. "Please." I would do anything to take away the hurt in his eyes. "Please."
"I can't. But… I can write it down. Maybe." I took out my phone. We shared Google Drive. When I made a new document, he reluctantly started his phone. The man was a dream. He watched his screen, and waited patiently for my words to appear.
Without preamble, I returned to the awful moment when it all began: a strange and disturbing dream. Words came like an infection from beneath a torn scab. The wound had been opened. Nothing could stop this now.
Sex with another man has never been a desire of mine. I love George. He loves me.
Plus, the man in my dream was a stranger, and not particularly handsome. He has a plain face set to unwavering boredom and unkempt male pattern baldness. Our dream sex felt obligatory, just something we had to do.
I awoke on the wrong side of midnight. November 1st and I was craving ice cream instead of the girls' gathered candy. The freezer left by the previous homeowners came with unopened ice cream. Freezer burned or not, I wanted some.
After retrieving a spoon from the kitchen, I intended to destroy a brick of neopolitan. He waited in his flannel pajamas, barefoot on the concrete floor. His arms were crossed.
"Cravings?" he said.
I dropped the spoon. It clattered down the basement steps. Before I could run away, he disappeared like someone had erased him from head to foot in one clean sweep.
Had to be a dream. That's what I told myself. The spoon stayed in the basement until daylight. Ghost or nightmare, there was laundry to do the next day.
I crossed the concrete floor fast and only felt safer when I'd closed the door to the more modern laundry room. Never thought builder's grade tiles and track lights would make me feel anything but sad.
His voice caught me sorting.
"Kirsty!"
I dropped the cup of detergent all over the floor.
"Shit."
I came out of the laundry room, figuring George had been looking for me in uncharacteristically rude fashion. He hated speaking between rooms. Shouting throughout the house was highly impolite. It must have been important, I figured.
As soon as I stepped onto the bare concrete, however, deep sadness, the kind that seems to physically leech the strength from your body, dominated the room.
"Hello?" I don't know why I said that. The basement is a low ceilinged rectangle. There are no hiding spots except for the laundry room I'd come from. After a deep breath, I walked briskly to the stairs.
"Any day now," a raspy voice breathed into my ear. I jolted and slipped forward, falling and clipping my chin off a step. It made my teeth click painfully. Nobody there, of course. I ran upstairs and George had gone outside with the girls to play hide and seek.
I wanted to tell him. He looked so happy. It's hard to convey in words the kind of smile he showed me through the window. Imagine contentment mixed with unreserved joy and hope. Yes, it's difficult to picture. So few of us can ever have such a moment. Sort of like finding a natural view completely untouched by humanity. Beyond rare and precious.
I’m rambling now to avoid writing about what followed. The point is I couldn’t tell him. I hoped it’d go away and stop.
But, of course, it didn’t, and things got much worse.
I awoke in a great deal of pain. Having already given birth to children, the feeling was familiar. Despite getting up and gasping, George continued to snore in our bed. He’s a deep sleeper, but a quick and early riser. I’ve never heard him complain about getting out of bed either, especially when there’s an emergency.
I might have woken him up but I was disoriented and confused. Part of me believed I was still pregnant with Ella. It wasn’t until I’d gone all the way to the kitchen to avoid waking up the girls, that my brain caught up: Girls. Plural. Ella was asleep in her bed upstairs.
“Ohhhhhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiit.” I knew the signs of labour. This couldn’t be happening. “Ohhhhhhhhh.”
I was definitely going to wake everyone up if this continued.
My phone was upstairs by my bedside table. We don’t have a landline. I should have called 911. I should have woken up George.
Instead, I went downstairs where I could vocalize pain without disturbing anyone. Such a pathetically passive response. But that’s how I was raised. Keep it down, don't you frown.
His hands seized mine as soon as I descended the last step. Serious and bald without dignity is how to best describe his physical appearance. Cold and cruel is what he is. The lights turned off and, in the perfect darkness of the basement, he was all that I could see.
He produces a red light from his body somehow but his touch is literally frosty.
"Kristy, it's time," he said. No joy there. Just straight facts. Something was coming. I was going to give birth to it. In the dull red glow of his being, the first boy came.
"His name is Hadad," the man said, placing a large, infant boy with a lot of hair and, I swear, a hint of beard, on the bare concrete. Hadad looked like a three month old they use as newborns on TV. He didn't cry. He hardly seemed to breathe as his dark eyes roamed the darkness. His light resembled the man's, a less intense red.
I felt another contraction, and winced.
"She comes next," the man said.
I felt so weak. "Who are you?" I asked him.
At last, he smiled and I wished he hadn't. It made me feel small, insignificant, and beneath his concern. "You know who I am," he said. "I'm your husband."
Pain wracked my entire body. Something didn't feel right. The birth of Cara and Ella had been without difficulty.
"Push," my "husband" ordered. "She is upset with you, and will kill you if you don't get her out now."
"It has to be a nightmare," I told him. Sweat poured in streams down my face. The unborn "she" in question writhed and damaged my insides. I screamed. I couldn't help it.
"Push!"
I obeyed and the second boy spilled onto the bare concrete, coated in blood and dust.
"It's a boy," I said.
The man looked displeased. "The body is male. She is Hebat. No wonder she is angry." Like the other infant, Hebat appeared aware of her surroundings and had far too much motor control for a newborn. The light pouring from her body was dull silver. Her eye sockets were two pits of concentrated despair. I had to look away.
The babies were pressed into my arms.
The man stretched out beside me. "Open your eyes and smile." I resisted. "Do it. Now." What choice did I have? The flash from his cell blinded me. They were all gone by the time my sight recovered. Only the sweat remained as evidence of the ordeal.
It had to have been a hallucination. Some very bad food poisoning maybe. The source could be as simple as an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of underdone potato. I had been stress eating since we'd moved in. I stood up and took some comfort in a Charles Dickens' reference.
"More of gravy than of grave about you," I said. My words seemed consumed by the dreadful weight of the air. "Whatever you are."
Whatever you are: something bad in any case. At best, I'd hallucinated prolonged and traumatic labour and needed medical attention. Yet, when I limped up the basement stairs, all thoughts of waking George vanished. There on the kitchen island sat a propped frame containing the photograph taken only moments ago.
The man looked happy. Only Hadad appeared in this picture, which meant another one was somewhere. I didn't panic. I worried more about what George would think if he saw the photos. I had to find them all.
Hebat and his father and I were mounted in a dark wood frame by the master bedroom. It'd be the first thing anyone saw if they woke up. I plucked it off the wall and, together with the first photo, tucked it under some blankets in the dresser we'd shoved in the small walk-in closet.
You might not believe this, but I went straight to sleep after. I climbed under the blanket in my sweaty pajamas, shut my eyes, and didn't have enough time to deny what had happened. I was unconscious until morning.
George placed a coffee on my nightstand. That's what I remember. He rubbed my feet while I slowly awoke. The girls were watching TV downstairs, munching on apple slices. There was forty minutes still before we had to seriously consider getting ready to take Cara to school.
George would drop her off on his way to work downtown. He chose his hours and always chose convenience for his wife and kids. Ella and I planned to spend the morning gardening. Then we would nap much of the afternoon away until George and Cara returned. A life so perfect is so very rare.
I didn't want to spoil things with a very convincing nightmare. Besides, I felt fine. Not so good that I wanted to look in the dresser to see if those photos really were there, but not ill. So I remained silent again.
November started fine. Idyllic days and nights filled with laughter and joy and television. Just as I started to believe in the dream we'd made, they came again.
The wail of a child's hunger is a powerful call for a parent. When it's a chorus, even of two, it cannot be ignored. Only I awoke to Hadad and Hebat's cries for their "mother" from the basement.
Half asleep, I drifted into the kitchen and searched for their milk bottles. When no bottles could be found, I remembered they were newborns. Milk swelled in my breasts and made my nipples ache. Just like when Cara or Ella would awaken in the night. It was a relief to feed them.
But what the fuck was I doing?
I was acting like the man in the basement and the devil babies were mine. It'd been less than a week since Halloween and that horrible nightmare illusion. I had already taken on the beleaguered newborn mother role without question.
Their cries intensified and flayed the weak resistance of exhausted reasoning.
Don't wake George. Don't wake my babies, my real babies.
"What took you so long?" the man critized, his voice monotone, the question unrhetorical.
"I… was sleeping. I went to the fridge first." Under his severe gaze, I stopped in the midst of the dark room. Hadad had quieted. Hebat cooed as if laughing at her own joke. I couldn't see them because the lights were off. They liked the dark better. Somehow I knew that about them and him.
"You should sleep down here," he said. "A mother should always be close to her babies."
The statement was nonsense but not altogether wrong. I wanted to be close to my babies, the daughters sleeping in bliss upstairs, away from the evil fermentation in the basement.
"Kirsty," he said. "Are you listening?" His hand touched the small of my back. The gentleness surprised me. I squawked and flinched away. "What’s wrong with you? They're hungry." He pressed on my shoulders until I sat on the cold floor.
They came from the shadows, already walking. I wanted to go, but I knew he wouldn't allow it. He pulled my cat t-shirt off over my head and their fierce mouths suckled, relieving the pressure of excess breast milk quickly. It felt physically good and psychologically alien.
I looked down at them once and immediately regretted it. Their emanated light had intensified to a point where perception of them hurt.
Each time I blinked my eyes were drawn to some isolated part of their bodies. The vision got closer to the point of disgust. Everything is gross if you're close enough. There is no beauty under a microscope. If you think there is then you're not using the right magnification.
Hebat's eye drew me in. At first, I saw the dark sphere, and then the strands of her eyelashes. Her gravity kept pulling until the creatures that live in eyelashes were revealed: Demodex folliculorum. I looked the microscopic horrors up.
The babies had more parasites than any child should. They wanted to show me and could somehow do so.
I asked him about it. "Why are they showing me these worms?"
He smiled, contemptuously as usual. "Trying to impress mother. Neither of them understand your horror and insignificance. You are the ant who knows they're an ant. Lucky you. They think you will be proud of the life their corporeal forms produce and host. Give them a few hours. It will pass."
"Why are you doing this to me?"
"I'm not sure what you mean. We're married. Now, prepare to smile." His cell reappeared and I noted the lack of features; it might have been a singed rectangle of spent firewood. He frowned when I failed to smile. "Smile, Kirsty. These are your children."
I managed to stave off the tears and hold the babies close. The smile was more difficult. In the inevitable aftermath of their sudden disappearance, the frames depicted an exhausted, wrinkly woman smiling painfully. It took a second to recognize myself.
The things in the basement sapped my strength. I looked dehydrated, beleaguered. The scale in the bathroom said I'd dropped six pounds. I'd weighed myself the morning before.
"Whoa, you've lost weight," George noted, thinking I'd be pleased. "This place has been so good for us, eh?'
To produce another smile proved as draining as the previous night. "Y-yes," I stuttered too late for him to ignore.
"Hey," he said, touching my forearm.
I flinched.
"Whoa, you okay? What's wrong?"
I should have told him. "Nothing. Bad sleep. A nightmare. I'll be fine."
A lie is an agreement. George wanted to agree, I think. He wanted life to be fine because he was happy for once. We struggled so hard before we came to Bridal Veil Lake. It was supposed to be our dream.
Guilty if I told him the truth. Guilty because I didn't. I began to resent his happiness, though he had done nothing but be the wonderful man he'd always been.
To Cara and Ella I became a body in motion, No brain left to guide them away from harm or answer their questions about nature and the universe.
"I don't know." That's what I told them often.
So they began to treat me like a kind of butler.
"Can I have some juice, please?"
"Sure, sweetheart."
"Mommy, can I have a snack?"
"Of course." And I'd run off to fetch it.
"Cookies."
"Yes, dear."
When Christmas came, I had two and they induced the same level of joy. Visiting the basement to feed and nurture Hebat and Hadad became a nightly occurrence. I'd learned to awaken, if I could get to sleep at all, and go quietly.
He berated me severely if I missed a night, and there were subtle threats made casually.
"I may have to squash you yet," he said, his tone as deep and cold as always.
"It won't happen again," I promised. "They’re getting big." In fact, they were no longer infants. Both had grown to the approximate age of six or seven in a few months. Still, they never spoke. Their dark eyes watched me as they ate food from the kitchen upstairs, food I'd hidden from my family.
"More meat," the man demanded.
"Of course." And I ran to the freezer and gave them frozen sausages in the package. They never complained or demanded the food be prepared a different way. No objections from my "husband" either.
Hebat tore the styrofoam and plastic wrap away and flattened the row of sausages stuck together between powerful molars. Hadad contented itself with licking them like a popsicle.
I'd stay until the photo. Then they'd release me by vanishing. Always with an exhausted breath, I'd trudge up the stairs and search for the frames and hide them in the same place.
They only smiled in the pictures. At no other time did they express any kind of emotion unless indifference counts.
My own children and husband weren't doing much better. Their concerns about my fatigue and ruminating slowly ceased as I repeated the excuse: I’m just tired. It'll pass.
Of course, I did not know when the nightmare would stop.
"When will it end?" I asked him one night, while Hebat and Hadad exercised like they had a mission.
"What do you mean?" he said.
I was surprised he answered. He usually didn't. "This. This. When can I go back to normal and not come down every night? I'm so very tired."
He frowned and I thought some punishment must be coming. Instead, he looked more confused. "I don't understand. You aren't happy? Your children grow into power and strength and will take their place in the world. They will be great and you - you, of all the tiny things, made that happen. Ask yourself what you want out of life, and see if Hebat and Haddad aren't your answer."
Too many words, all at once, for an exhausted mother. I didn't speak for the rest of the night. The infernal trio vanished, and the latter moments of the ritual I carried out with his challenge in mind.
I want my children to be strong, happy, and safe.
"Juice," Cara demanded the next morning, a Saturday, while she watched cartoons.
"Get it yourself!" I hissed, from tired to angry in a second.
"But I can't," Cara accurately pointed out. She didn't look away from the TV. Looking at me wasn't safe, and she knew it. Her and Ella held hands and sat a little straighter. It broke my heart. What had I done?
George came downstairs, attracted by my shouting. "What’s going on?"
Empathy became sadness, and the constant burden rekindled to anger swiftly. "Just children treating me like a servant."
He smiled. "Ah, yes, and how are the royal princesses this morning?"
His levity irked me. "You would know if you didn't sleep in so much."
The smile vanished from his face, and instead of the fight I seemed to want, he mumbled a quiet apology and joined the girls. They climbed onto him as he wrapped them into a cuddle.
"What are we watching?" George restarted his smile, his calm, for the girls. I hated myself. It had to end. Tonight.
After another dreary day of going through the motions, and the girls and George had fallen asleep, I went to the kitchen and chose the knife I thought sharpest.
"Kirsty," he said, his voice a whisper rising from the depths of the house.
"Coming," I whispered back.
"Mom," said another voice, a girl's, and I knew that Hebat had, at last, found herself and the wholeness of her being had been corrected.
I started to cry. I went downstairs and there she was with her brother and her father. He looked tired but some of the grimness had cracked to allow the first real contentment I've ever seen him express.
"Is that for the cake?" he asked. "We already have one."
I remembered the sharp knife. "Meat," I said. "There’s ham in the freezer."
He nodded, seeming to accept the answer.
"Mom," Hebat said, "Do you think I'm…" She gestured to herself, her face, and her body, and I understood the question, born from doubt and a desire to be validated.
I pulled her close. "You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world." We cried together. Hadad cut into a poorly made, asymmetrical cake by the light of his aura. No one cared that he did so on the floor. I brought out the ham from the fridge and we ate slices with our hands.
"It's almost done," he said. "They’re nearly grown. They are strong, and they are happy. You've done a good job, Kirsty." He watched our children fight to smear icing on each other's faces. "I'm sorry if I was mean. Or cold. I've never done this before." And he meant raising children. "It was the hardest, scariest thing anyone can try. I shouldn't have blamed you for… Hebat… It wasn't your fault."
Before I could pat his hand, he and the kids vanished. Darkness so familiar couldn't extinguish a new fear. I went upstairs and found the last frame. I held my daughter in the photo, my beautiful Hebat. He must have taken the photo without my notice.
I took it upstairs but couldn't bring myself to hide it.
I didn't see that one, George wrote into the document.
I forgot he was watching.
He typed again: Are you saying there is something in the basement?
Yes, I replied.
He stirred in the living room. I hadn't moved from the stairs, but I could tell by his stomping how angry he'd become. All of his negative, violent traits he saved for those in the world who would harm his family. George the Protector was fearsome to behold.
But he had no chance against my other husband.
"Come out! Come out you coward!" George bellowed. At first, nothing happened. The moment before calamity, even when the specific consequences aren't known, is still in slow motion. He carried on shouting. The girls rushed into the hall and didn’t hesitate to investigate.
"No!" I shouted. "Cara! Ella!"
Their feet padded down the steps. A violent commotion followed, screams and raging voices, both deep and childishly shrill.
The most unsettling quiet followed.
I chewed through the fear and the horror tearing me apart and finally moved.
No evidence of violence could be seen from the top of the stairs. The concrete looked bare and dusty and the light revealed nothing more. They were gone, all of them.
"Hebat," I whispered. "Cara? George?"
Him, I thought of, the nameless husband and felt no hint of his presence. He'd always been there. I know that now. It had nothing to do with the house. His absence was felt more than his insidious presence. Yet, I felt no relief. George and the girls were gone. I sat on the floor and cried for all my missing children.
When I finally emerged from the basement, the whole house had been filled with night. Their photos were everywhere. The others were upstairs. I gathered them on the kitchen island. How could I explain any of this to the police?
I needed help. I called my parents. It took twenty minutes before my father picked up.
"Kirsty? What's wrong?"
"Dad," I whimpered. "George is gone. Cara. Ella."
"What? What did you say?"
"They’re gone, dad. George. The girls are gone."
I heard his bed springs protest as he rolled out of bed. My mom said something I couldn't hear, and he shushed her.
"Kirsty," he said, "are you alright? Are you hurt? Are you in danger?"
Why was it so hard to understand? "Dad. George is gone."
"Kirsty, who the hell is George?"
It was my turn to be confused. "He's my- you know him. My husband…"
"Kirsty," he said very slowly, "are you on drugs? Did you take something?"
"No. Are you?"
"Excuse me?"
I hung up.
I have their photos. I have all of their photos. That's what I brought to George's parents before the sun rose. They wouldn't open the door and spoke to me through an intercom.
"George is gone," I said.
"We'll call the police."
"This is your son. These are your granddaughters."
I heard my mother-in-law say, "Who is she?"
"We don't have a son," my father-in-law said. "Go away."
I left.
Back to the house. Our dream sat empty and I live there, but none of the people in my family photos are my family.
I remember but the world never does. My parents think I'm ill and that I used AI to create the family I apparently never had.
How did I buy the house without a job or income? With deep concern for my mental health, they showed me a news story. I had won the lottery the day I turned eighteen.
His influence there, payment for services rendered.
A lie is an agreement.
What had I agreed to? I'm afraid I know the answer: I never wanted a family.
God help me. God help them.
I don't know what to do with these pictures.

I'd like to vent a little since this is mainly what this sub is for. I (20F) have been working as a gas station/truck stop clerk for almost 5 years. It was my first job and hopefully not my last. I've seen a lot of shit. A bag of dildos, someone who shat their pants and left their shitty underwear in the toilet for us to fish out, cum shot on the walls, crackheads doing crackhead shit, a trucker who literally had a heart attack in our parking lot, piss jugs, so many piss jugs, but the worst part of my job is by far, men. Now, I know know it's not all of them and most of the man clientel I have is so nice and fun to serve. However, the minority is very loud, annoying and sometimes scary. Here's just a few incidents that have made me genuinely uncomfortable and scared at times.
This is the only one that genuinely made me fear for my safety. I work evening shift form 16h-00h. I was outside taking out the indoor garbage bags when a trucker approached me. He was older, mabe late 40's. It was already dark out and being a women alone at night already makes me shit my pants. He told me he had a problem with his fuel card and asked for help. Thinking I'm just overthinking like always, I go instead of asking the guy i was working with to help him out. The fuel card reader is very far away from our building, who is already in the middle of the woods on the side of the highway. Once there, i put it in and it didn't seem to work as his fuel limit was exceeded. Now, he started on and on about how it just worked and that he wanted to show me the receipt from the day prior at a different gas station of the same branch as mine. We went back forth, him insisting I come close to his truck so I can check the receipt, me telling him that there's nothing I can do and to call his dispatch. He eventually grabbed my arm to lead me closer to his door. I pulled away and told him to leave me alone, throwing his card at him. He didn't seem to like that but my co-worker, who was smoking a cigarette outside, approached us and told him the same thing I did. The trucker didn't say much else and just left in his truck. I have no idea why he couldn't just grab the damn receipt from his truck and show me or why he felt the need to put his hands on me. Thankfully, my male co-worker was there
(sorry truckers I live you thank you for your hard work. My dad is a trucker and I know how hard you work. I have nothing against you)
We have this one trucker who is a semi regular. I don't know if he's missing some braincells but having a conversation with him takes years off my life. His only eye contact is with my tits and he just has that creepy smile stuck on his face. He's asked me about my love life, sex life, he's asked me to marry him, come wash him in the showers, he purposely gets Belmonts cigarettes because I have to bend down to get them, but I know for a fact his cigarettes of choice is Next since that's what he orders from my male co-workers and older workers.
I have much more stories but I'm realizing the post will be long as fuck so I'll get to the one that made me write this post.
I'm currently at work and I just had a man come in. Off the start, he was giving me creepy vibes. I'm sure the ladies know that one stare. I started serving him and something was just off with him. At the end of the transaction he ask me to shake his hand telling me his name, Alex, and told me I had beautiful eyes. I like getting compliments on my eyes, but I almost threw up in my mouth. After some more uncomfortable staring he walked off. He came back a minute later asking me for cash back. Charged him 1 cent so he could take out 30$. I was genuinely sweating at how uncomfortable it was. He then ask me for the bathroom, I told him down the first hall at the right. He asked me to show him. Red flags but it's my job so I took a few steps away from my podium and pointed at the hallway. A fucking 3 year-old could've found it so I knew something was off. He went and came back barely 10 seconds later, telling me he couldn't find it and to show him. As I was walking down the hallway, I realized he probably wanted to get me away from the front window of the store where a group of nice old men I had just served were talking outside. Once there, he took my hand and ask me if I could help him in there. Which meant some sexual or I don't know I'm still so fucking confused. I took my hand away, told him no, laughing. I hate myself for laughing. I wish I had more of a back bone but I was still trying to be nice. I walked off, not looking in his direction as I continued some paperwork I was doing. He left without saying much else.
I'm sure some of you guys have some more unhinged stories. I live in a very safe part of Canada and, outside of my work, I've only rarely encountered people who genuinely made me uncomfortable. I just genuinely can not comprehend how people think this is okay behavior. I'm not a monkey or a robot, i have fucking feelings. I only am nice to you because I get paid to do it, i'm not flirting with you. What passes through some of their minds to think this is something I would be comfortable with. I just don't understand. I hate it here. Also, fuck Alex

This is an ongoing competition thread for you noobs to quit posting pictures of your Jah or Ber finds. Nobody cares. So I am going to start a competition that whoever posts the highest upvotes rare item they personally find, I will gift them a 36/400 grief Pb (NL).
The rules are simple. When you self find a good rare item you are to post 2 screen shots. All with time stamp & your character name posted in the comment with a highlight of your cursor over the item on the floor where you found it, 2nd picture is it on your inventory with your name on the screen in the game chat and your cursor over the item showing its stats.
Highest upvoted item on this post that is verified to not have been traded for on a 3rd party & self found gets the grief.
If you aren’t sure if your item is post worthy, post it anyways and we will vote on it with upvotes/downvotes.
Thanks & GL dungeon runners.

my boyfriends step brother is getting married this fall. when the wedding reminder was sent to us it said his name +1. my boyfriend was automatically pissed bc we’ve been together for almost 14 years have lived together for 12 of them! i don’t really like my boyfriends dads side of the family and rarely go around i was super busy with full time school and work and currently recovering from brain surgery, so i see them even less but still he’s been in a committed relationship longer than they have even known each other. we’re both thinking that if the actual wedding invite comes with his name +1 we’re definitely not going, he said he’s going to respond with idk who i should take or something petty like that.

EDIT: I’m quite familiar with DW, Perilous Wilds, and Freebooters. I’m looking for something in the middle… something a bit different.
The PCs in my campaign are level 6 and they’re accompanied by another character. While this other character is an NPC, I’d like for them to be played differently from the usual NPC rules/rulings. I’d like to be able to accomplish this through some simple moves/mechanics.
My principles: * This NPC has autonomy but isn’t a DMPC * The NPC rarely acts independently but rather support the PCs * The players generally activate and control the character * The NPC is more consequential and less disposable than Hirelings from DW * The NPC is more abstract than in Freebooters on the Frontier
One thought that I have is to assign Quality points across skills or even class names - example, Thief +1 Wizard +2 - and this indicates the NPCs fictional contributions. Whenever a PC is aided on an appropriate task by this NPC they gain that bonus. Additionally, the NPC has 1-3 moves like a monster… but how to trigger them?
How have you handled companions in your games? What ideas do you have for competent NPC companions?

Quirkless,powerless, freak and weak.
That's what everyone around Izuku Midoriya always said. It's what Izuku believed too. However, even when it seems as if the entire world was against him and his dream of becoming a hero, Izuku steels himself and continues in harboring his dream no matter what everyone else said to him. Call him stubborn and delusional for clinging to his dream, but his unrealistic dream is his only light of hope that sustains his will to live in the miserableness that was his life....that, and the love from his mother,Inko.(she's such a sweet mother, and izuku feels like she deserves more..)
His dream continues on being that, just a mere dream,until the Entity of Fate and Will of the World decided to give Izuku a chance to make his dream into a proper reality, by granting him passage to another world!
When Izuku finds a passage to another world, a literal An*where Door to another world, he also found out that whatever power or skills he obtained there can also be used in his homeworld! Now armed with a myriad of cheat skills obtained from his long training in another world, Izuku aims to be the greatest hero with his newfound power!
Info: Name: Izuku Midoriya
Titles: The One Who Endures, The Emerald Adventurer, Fate's Chosen One, Hero( read as 'yuusha' )
Bestowed Skill: Passage to Another World(s)
Skills:
-Adamantite Will (unique grade, lvl max) -Hero's Wisdom (unique grade) - Observer (Unique grade) - Analytical Mind ( Ultimate grade) Etc..
(Grades classification : Extra Tldr: Basically sortof isekaid deku that can go to another world, get skills, and also use said skills in his homeworld. I was inspired by Tensura's Voice of the World concept, which gave individuals with strong will or desires skills in accordance of their wishes, and also that one isekai anime I watch in muse asia.

Trade URL - Steam Profile

• Buyouts valued as items in cash prices.
• Mainly interested in trading but taking offers through third party websites.
• Taking TF2 keys (Mann Co. Supply Crate Key) as well.
• Sending a trade offer is the fastest way to contact me, you can either dm or add me on steam.

🔥Feel free to join my steam trading group InventoryHub - excluding spammers and alt accounts.
//

Type	Name	FV	Info	Tradable	SS	B/O ($)
💔Knife	★ Karambit Case Hardened (BS)	0.83	#463 - red eye pattern	Yes	📷	12345
💔Knife	★ StatTrak™ M9 Bayonet Case Hardened (FT)	0.16	#503 - tier 1 pattern with scar	Yes	📷	5555
💔Knife	★ Karambit Case Hardened (WW)	0.42	#670 - blue ring & blue playside	Yes	📷	4444
💔Knife	★ Bayonet Case Hardened (WW)	0.42	#321 - p4	Yes	📷	2499
💔Knife	★ Talon Knife Crimson Web (FT)	0.29		5/22/2024	📷	446
💔Knife	★ Nomad Knife Case Hardened (BS)	0.98	decent amount of mixed blue	5/22/2024	📷	303
💔Knife	★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic (FT)	0.35		5/26/2024	📷	212
💙Gloves	★ Sport Gloves Slingshot (FT)	0.26		5/23/2024	📷	969
💙Gloves	★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (BS)	0.77	#829 - p1	Yes	📷	938
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves King Snake (FT)	0.19		Yes	📷	532
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Snow Leopard (FT)	0.20		5/23/2024	📷	521
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Snow Leopard (FT)	0.20		5/22/2024	📷	521
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (FT)	0.22	#89 - tier1 pattern with clean E	Yes	📷	499
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Field Agent (FT)	0.16		Yes	📷	426
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Mogul (FT)	0.16		5/26/2024	📷	218
💙Gloves	★ Moto Gloves Smoke Out (FT)	0.19		Yes	📷	198
💙Gloves	★ Moto Gloves Turtle (FT)	0.15		5/27/2024	📷	180
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Diamondback (FT)	0.31		Yes	📷	127
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Slate (FN)	0.00004	x4 vox holo kato15 on super low float ak (1/2)	Yes	📷	3999
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Cyrex (FN)	0.04	ibuypower holo kato14 above mag + x2 crown foil	Yes	📷	3333
💚Rifle	AK-47 Fire Serpent (FT)	0.18	vox holo kato14 on wood + crown foil next position	Yes	📷	3333
💚Rifle	AWP Asiimov (FT)	0.29	titan holo kato14 on the scope	Yes	📷	3125
💚Rifle	AK-47 Black Laminate (FT)	0.35	x4 kato14 (ibuypower holo on wood, titan, lgb holo, reason)	Yes	📷	2599
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ M4A4 In Living Color (FN)	0.042000	x4 dignitas holo col14 (1/1)	Yes	📷	2499
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive (FN)	0.03	dignitas holo col14 on the scope + x3 holo kato14 (vp, dignitas, mystik)	Yes	📷	1666
💚Rifle	AK-47 Case Hardened (FT)	0.37	ibuypower holo kato14 above trigger	Yes	📷	1449
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Slate (FN)	0.01	x4 fnatic holo dh14	Yes	📷	749
💚Rifle	AK-47 The Empress (WW)	0.39	x4 gold krakow17 (dosia, pashabiceps, x2 nbk)	Yes	📷	669
💚Rifle	M4A4 Eye of Horus (FN)	0.06		Yes	📷	664
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Phantom Disruptor (FN)	0.05	x4 navi holo dh14 (1/1)	Yes	📷	549
💚Rifle	AK-47 Fuel Injector (FN)	0.06	x2 flammable Foil (wood and back)	Yes	📷	549
💚Rifle	AWP Redline (MW)	0.11	titan kato14 on the scope	Yes	📷	369
💚Rifle	AK-47 Asiimov (FN)	0.06		5/26/2024	📷	201
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ M4A4 Faded Zebra (BS)	0.78	high float - x4 kato14 (3dmax, vox, ldlc, complexity)	Yes	📷	199
💚Rifle	M4A4 Temukau (FN)	0.06	x4 c9 kato15 (1/1)	Yes	📷	179
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Vulcan (BS)	0.46		Yes	📷	164
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Red Laminate (WW)	0.38	harp of war holo next to wood	Yes	📷	149
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Hyper Beast (FN)	0.03		5/26/2024	📷	129
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AWP Asiimov (BS)	0.81		Yes	📷	120
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 The Empress (MW)	0.13		5/26/2024	📷	119
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Legion of Anubis (FN)	0.06		Yes	📷	50,81
💚Rifle	AWP Chrome Cannon (BS)	0.69		5/26/2024	📷	37,7
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Chantico's Fire (FT)	0.26		5/26/2024	📷	28,13
💚Rifle	AWP Worm God (MW)	0.11	x3 kato15 (envyus holo on scope * x2 clg)	Yes	📷	22
💚Rifle	AK-47 Head Shot (FT)	0.32		5/26/2024	📷	11,63
💛Pistol	USP-S Stainless (WW)	0.43	titan holo kato14 above handle & x2 titan holo kato15	Yes	📷	2499
💛Pistol	USP-S Overgrowth (FN)	0.06	crown foil above handle (rare combo)	Yes	📷	279
💛Pistol	P250 Mehndi (FN)	0.04	x4 kato14 (vp, mousesports, fnatic mystik)	Yes	📷	222
💛Pistol	StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Conspiracy (FN)	0.03	x4 liquid mlg16	Yes	📷	36
💛Pistol	Desert Eagle Code Red (FT)	0.31		5/26/2024	📷	20,03
💜SMG	Souvenir UMP-45 Urban DDPAT (FT)	0.35	titan foil kato14	Yes	📷	169
💜SMG	StatTrak™ MP9 Airlock (FN)	0.06		5/26/2024	📷	29,01

So I am 80% finished the first one and will finish it by today likely. Pretty boring read, in a sense of things happening. I know it's the first of a huge series, so a lot of character and world exposition is required, but sheesh. Nothing big or serious is happening besides him and his interactions with these no name characters besides the original three musketeers, Rufus, Gary, and Ferah (is this how you spell her name?) Humphrey Geller and family is appearing alot as is Mercer family (love interest of the daughter?).
He who fights monsters has a huge backlog (perfect and what I want) of books... all with a ton of readers (and high ratings), which was what brought me to the first one to begin with. It makes me want to give it a chance, but I'm doubtful. I don't want to invest 2-3 more credits and time only to drop it. But I also don't want to fall for the sunk cost falacy.
The story feels a little too unserious to me, so far. Starting off with a dire situation and the subsequent events after is great, but I just don't feel the danger Jason should be feeling, despite his laid back and sarcastic childish attitude.
I say childish in naivety, but his moral compass seems to be intact and actually refreshing. I also like the rare introspection he does with his own thoughts, but it should happen more often. It might be because he started off in this world too powerful and everything continuing smoothly for him as he develops these powers.
Anyway, I am wondering if I should continue this series. I think I like it more than Dungeon Crawler Carl. I haven't finished that one yet but it has the same similar 'unserious/gritty' feel and need I would want in this type of story.
Like maybe something big or tragic needs to happen to Jason for him to take shit more seriously or something... IDK, but it has a very.... Shounen feel to it..? But I want something more mature and dark, but a long this type of setting.
Does it get better in that sense? Does the writing get better and the main character get more mature and their situations serious?

Trying to play over the weekend and I can't put my finger on what it is about plagues that make them so..unfun. I don't remember feeling the same way about them in CK2.
Is it the frequency? It seems like if you have a decently sized realm there is ALWAYS one nearby. Seemed like in CK2 it was kind of rare but more significant when there was a plague.
Is it that you basically have to pull up the tab every few weeks to see where it is? Like I generally don't have the names of individual baronies memorized. I'm barely there with counties for the most part.
It just feels overtuned and not intuitive I guess.

his favourite flower is her favourite flower, he's admitted that he doesn't have a favourite flower but ever since she loved that specific one it's been his favourite. he tells me transparently that he dreams about talking to her (they had a bad split), but not getting back with her. i've seen a photo of her and i look like her if we were both bareface without makeup, which kind of made me think that he finds me pretty because i look like her. he also said that he thinks her personality is perfect to him. he's also said that she always knew what to say even though she knew him less than i did (time wise), and i've never been able to successfully comfort him even though i have tried hard (he likes advice, and i try to give him advice along with encouragement). we've been dating 2 months ldr, and he says that he doesn't want to introduce me to his family and friends yet until we meet in a few months, so all they know of me is my name. but with his ex, he knew her for less than we have known each other, and he's already told his family before that he wanted to go fly and meet her when they were together. he's also said before that since we dated soon after they broke up (around 4 months after?) he's not fully over her yet, but he doesn't want her back. i think she lives in his head rent free, and i'm here as someone who's never going to be as 'perfect to him personality wise' as he says she is. he praises me, he does things for me, he says he loves me, he acts like a good partner, he's loyal. but he's already told me also that he would not go back to her, and he would choose me over her, but i still feel so much resentment towards his ex who i don't even know. i feel like he's hung up on her, and i feel so difficult when i get reminded of her every now and then when she pops into my mind. i don't want to hate her, but i get jealous of her. i get jealous that she's so good and he remembers her as this good person, who comforts him well, who is fun, who rarely argues with him. he's affirmed to me already he won't go back to her, but i still am worried, but i don't want to come off clingy and persistent. i am insecure, and i am working on my own issues. but is this situation my fault that i think this way? any advice? sorry, english is not my first language.

A bit of an update on my last post. https://www.reddit.com/teenagers/s/ATjE93OSCb
I guess I am making this to rant. Life has been quite hard recently, and I don’t have much time to write. I have been thinking about the way I feel about her, and I feel like I can split it into four categories that interact with each other in strange ways.
Romantic attraction (?) To put it bluntly, I like her. But this attraction does not feel like what it should be. No “butterflies in the stomach”. But I notice her. No nervousness. No stumbling over words. I am not shy; on the contrary, I feel as stable talking to her as I am with any other classmate, provided that we are talking about something academic. But she’s cute. I can’t help but glance every once in a while. I don’t know her very well, despite knowing her for two and a half years. Despite this, I can’t avoid the urge to care about her. It is hard to explain much more without putting it in some more context.
Accomplishment Envy This is, unfortunately, a fairly overpowering theme. I am not a particularly driven person. Even though I know I am not very accomplished, I lack the motivation to push myself to do things. This has become a large problem in my relations with parents, especially with college applications peeking around the corner. My parents worry, especially my dad. He might ask me something like “[Name of acquaintance] just won this award. [Name of acquaintance] just got a high ranking in this competition. [Name of acquaintance] is starting a tutoring service, and she even got grants. How about you? What’s your plan?” He would say how tired he is of pushing me to do things, begging me to wake up to the fact that I don’t have much time left, pleading for me to spend more time on academics, on volunteering, on developing myself so that I don’t look like a fool on my college apps.
So where does she fit into all of this? She is an unavoidable example of what I am not. The contrast is stark. She has a great degree of self-control, self-fulfillment, and identity. She does good things, and is surrounded by friends who care about her. She is her own person, with her own drives and purposes, her own established and developing skillset. I don’t know what kind of background she is from, or what her past is like, but I feel that she will rise above the negatives, utilize the positives to the fullest, and become valuable to herself and people around her. I am a puppet of my parents, and I am starting to fail even there. Yes, I have been pushed into experiences, and yes, I have gained my own skills through those experiences. Yes, I have good intuition when playing games and thinking through the things I am good at, and yes, I like being helpful, especially when explaining things to my peers. I am known to be a good strategist, with good intuition and a willingness to help newcomers, in the gaming group I am in. But as my dad has drilled into me, week after week, month after month: Why can’t I do something productive? What is my plan? Seriously, what will I do with my life?
I understand, there are plenty of other driven people around me. I am aware that I have sampling bias, growing up with immigrant parents who value education and have experienced the effects first-hand, surrounded by people selected with established friend groups who push each other to do better. But the difference here is that she is unavoidable. The same attraction that makes me want to care about her also makes me notice all the things she can do. Studying for something? Talking with friends? Meeting new people? Working on things? Discussing the things she wants to do? Even simple things like asking a question? These things come naturally to her, just as they do to everyone else, and I wish I could say the same myself.
And this is where things start getting complicated.
I understand that what I have been saying makes it sound like I hate the feeling of being envious of her. But for some reason, it isn’t all bad. I get a certain comfort in thinking about her, and this seems to conflate itself with my preexisting attraction. I don’t know if I adore her character traits but am influenced by my existing problems, or I envy her character traits but am influenced by attraction. Two emotions I associate with “positive” and “negative” seemingly feel similar. I don’t know if what I feel counts as romantic attraction anymore; maybe it is just a habit that I haven’t grown out of. And that’s not all.
Curiosity and urge for human connection. I am aware that I may be idealizing her. She is flawed like any of us, but I cannot list any flaws off the top of my head. In combination with social isolation and romantic interest (?), I find myself wanting to get to know her better. I already know that she will never be interested in me in the way I am to her, but I want to learn how it feels to have someone actively approach me in conversation and talk about things.
The only times I have talked to her outside of an academic setting are in very rare cases, in the context of mental health and emotions — she feels like someone I can trust. But these are isolated incidents, and I know that she’s not responsible for me, that she has her own things to deal with. What’s stopping me from just… talking to her more? Talking about other subjects? Lack of motivation plays a big role, yes, but my primary issue is fearing how she thinks of me.
Fear of creepiness. I don’t know where this stems from. Perhaps I internalized something from childhood. Perhaps it is my lack of positive self-image, or a misunderstanding of my place among everyone else, or some combination of these, or something else. But I am averse to approaching girls in non-academic settings, fearing that I make them uncomfortable.
This ties many things together. It goes without saying that this stops me from talking to her as much as I would otherwise, but it is also why I try to suppress many of the other things I feel. I would not tell her most of what I say here, since I know that it would make her either avoid me or feel obligated to talk to me. I feel guilty for caring about her as much as I want to; she doesn’t need my attention, but I still find myself asking her if she’s alright when she seems tired.
I guess I’ll stop here for now, though I’m sure I am missing some nuances that I will remember later. In summary: I think I like her, in a way that I associate with romantic attraction. I also envy her — fuelled by my own probelms — in a strange way that mixes in with how I feel, creating a strange combination that makes me question whether or not I am actually feeling attraction. I seek to know her better, and feel that this might be possible; she is still willing to talk to me, albeit passively. Finally, I fear the way she may think of me.
This is more or less what I wanted to say. I posted this to rant, but I guess any help, information, or people who relate would be appreciated.

Hello and greetings once again my fellow CUEnthusiasts!
Today on Coaches Corner I’m going discuss what I think many players would love some insight on, building your collection and working towards completion. This is going to potentially be a multi, or at minimum a 2 part series. There’s so much to cover that pertains to both and as I write, more keeps coming to mind lol.
While most of what I write is geared more towards newer players, free to play and more casual investors, there will be points shared that may be beneficial to anyone. Regardless the collection you have or even if you don’t care about building/completion.
Once more, a lot of what I’ll be covering will relate to both topics, I will go into more detail and differentiate when applicable if needed.
I’ll kick off this mini series thing with Part 1, where I’ll look at why New Cards are important and also share some of my insights and experience with Card Packs and currency(Gems and Coins).
This is in no way a guide for which packs to only open or where to strictly spend your currency. There are many great packs that aren’t listed and a few of my favorites also aren’t mentioned. It’s more my experience based on how some packs can help with the topics we’re discussing more than others is all. Your coins and gems are always yours to do with as you please :)
Regardless your time spent on cue, the majority of players want and chase new cards. It’s not uncommon to get some pretty wild offers early on, so new cards will and should always be a focus where possible for building and completing your collection. If you’ve ever posted a new card in game, especially early after it drops, you’ll know exactly what I mean. So I’ll leave it at that.
What I would like to discuss is knowing what to pull, and when to pull (I should note, the term “pull” means open packs, as in pull the new card from a pack). I’ll ask as well because I was away for a while and just returned recently to CUE, if I miss any note worthy packs that I didn’t discuss, please comment below and provide a bit as to why it’s a good pack to hit please. I know there’s a few new ones since I came back, and if they’re relevant, it would help to be made aware :)
I won’t cover every single pack but touch briefly on noteworthy ones that are both popular and, based on my personal experience, are worth a mention as they’re relevant to todays topics. I hope this may help when selecting what currency you save up and when to use them to maximize achieving your goals for your collection.
I again want to strongly emphasize. This in no way is a guide on how to 100% get the cards you want, which packs to open and how to spend your gems/coins.
This is however based off my experience in CUE, other trading card apps I’ve been on, and when seeing trades and helping evaluate trades when I pop into discord. I think it’s safe to say, most players who are complete or close to it and the ones who have been around for years, probably already know, have experienced, or used some of this.
I’ll start with what I would watch for in a pack and a new card.
Other than keeping an eye on social platforms for what’s being hyped up, there’s 2 things I look for before I pull for a new card or a pack in general.
The Collection the new card and/or the pack is associated with. And the playability of the new card.
What I look for in a collection first is, if the collection is part of the meta and in demand. Is this collection being played a lot and are many people looking for cards from the collection. I then check what and how many value/meta/very playable limited legendary and limited epics are in the collection. If there’s a decent amount (4-5 or more) this can check off the box for a worth while pack.
Next I look into the new card. How good is it? How scarce is it potentially going to be? And is there demand? While I primarily look to the first point when selecting a good pack, you’ll make the best bang for your currency if both these points are checked off. I’ll break this down a bit.
In regards to the new card, I mainly want its rarity to be limited epic or limited legendary when using it to trade. As I’ve covered before, most limited rares and below are relatively easy to obtain/complete and tend have less played cards as most decks are composed mostly of limited epics and higher. It’s of course still ok to pull/get lower rarity new cards to trade if you have lower rarity needs. These 2 rarities I mentioned though, are important for building and completion as they have the majority of valuable and playable cards amongst them.
I would recommend to try to focus and/or wait for a new card that is as playable and as much a meta deck staple as possible. This just means it’ll have demand.
Next I want to go over how gem cost and pull rates can factor in. I’m going to cover coins separately because they’re used a bit differently.
I do just want to quickly explain pull rates. The pull rate is the % chance you have of getting the specified card if you open 1 pack. For example, if the rate is 25%, when you open 1 of that pack, you have a 25% (1/4) chance of getting that card. It’s not if I open 4 packs, I should 100% get the card by the fourth pack.
Here’s how Gem Costs and Pull Rates COULD factor in.
The lower the gem cost and/or the higher the pull rate %, the more available the card could be. It doesn’t mean you’ll get worse results trading cards in packs that are one or both of these. It just means you may have a shorter window to maximize the cards potential trade power. Packs with high gem costs and/or lower pull rate %, are usually the ones that will be more in demand, be more scarce, and see some of the better offers. Kinda makes sense.
If a pack meets all the criteria we’ve gone over, it’s usually a good one to invest in. Again it’s your choice in the end. You’ll also get accustomed to making the best choice for you and your collecting goals as time goes and you become more well versed in the app. There’s a wide variety of packs to cater to every playecollector!
Before we proceed I want to offer some advice. Don’t send trades taking a wild over pay from people looking for a new card just because it’s new and in demand. It could get declined, as well, reflect bad on you and land you on a block list. Let them choose to do so if/when they send a trade. With the information coming up, there shouldn’t even be a need to.
When you do have and want to trade a new card my advice is always to just post it asap for trade in game and wait to see what comes in. Be patient, you’re not obligated to take the first or any offer just because it came it. Your cards, you get what you want. To elaborate as well, be realistic. One can’t expect the best offers and only look/wait for that every time. Remember too, sometimes you’re on a bit of a clock. As time goes and the card becomes less scarce, demand will/may drop, and good offers you had and waited on, may not come again. This is the game of a collector lol. Comfort will come with experience so don’t sweat it too much. But I felt it’s good to know as well.
I want to also point out to always check the demand of the new card before you post the card in game, accept incoming trades or pull/trade for more copies of a new card. Go to the trade screen and type in the name of the card and check the “Wanted” section to see roughly how many people are looking for it and toggle to the “Offered” section to see how many people are posting it for trade. This will give a very rough idea as to the supply and demand of the new card. If there’s few people looking and lots of people offering, it’s safe to assume demand is low. This is important because you don’t want to waste currency or your dupes for something that’s not gonna move, and you want to move new cards asap.
The way I view currency in general
Gems are mainly used to acquire mostly limited cards, either new or previously released.
Coins are mainly used for obtaining new or previously released basics or the collection of the day pack. I’ll quickly note, it’s rare to fill out your limiteds off basics. It still can happen, but far less frequently and efficiently. The ladder bit is in regards to trading basics, as limiteds can also be acquired via coin packs and I’ll touch on that soon.
So what are some decent/popular packs to look for to use your currency to help build/complete your collection?
I’ll start with gems packs just because most people want to use them the most efficiently, coins too, but there’s usually less opportunity for them as far as getting best bang for your buck so to speak.
Once more, we’re going to keep in mind everything I’ve gone over so far. And I again want to emphasize, I’m not trying to tell you exactly what packs to open and to disregard the rest. These were just some, from my experience, that are better to leverage for the topics today. Again each pack can cater to a different collector and their needs and wants. Just to be clear lol.
League Spotlight:
There’s a number of points I’m going to touch on because this is a popular pack, if not the most popular.
With a low gem cost and a not terrible pull rate for a limited legendary. Typically featuring 6 different Limited Legendary cards with the potential to pull other random limiteds, it has good bang for the gem cost. If pulling this pack, I’d recommend pulling the 3 for 2 at 50 gems.
Best to hit if you have a somewhat decent balance to be effective. You can fill limited card needs, get decent limiteds and more. I find if you can only do the 50 a few times your gems are better used elsewhere.
What can also be very beneficial is when these packs feature at least 2 or more Limited Legendary cards that have value and demand prior to spot light.
One very important thing to be aware of. The limited legendary cards featured are almost always impacted value wise as they’re far more available, again because the pack is popular. And when there is 2 or more value ones featured, the pulls tend to drastically increase leading to market saturation and value decline.
If you’re ok with playing for the long run, their values tend to creep back, but over a long period. The only other downside, there’s never new cards in these packs, only previously released ones. So there’s typically less people looking for the cards from spot light, other than the featured value ones, or those who need them, and you usually won’t see the same offers that you would a new card for spotlight cards. The upside is the ability to get very playable or meta Limited Legendary cards if you need them at an amazing price.
Finder packs, Choose your Fate/Destiny, Grab Bag and the 1500 gem pack(I forgot what it’s called but shows up periodically, again it’s a new one for me lol):
I liken these to spotlight packs because they’re more for if you have needs from that collection or specific rarities of limited cards. It’s worth noting, values aren’t impacted much by these as they’re not as heavily pulled like spotlight is.
Much like spotlight, these tend to not feature a new card so the trades aren’t expected to be the same as ones you’d typically see for a new card. And they usually cost around 150 gems or more per pack. If you’re free to play or a minimal investor and have fewer card needs, I feel your gems can be better used elsewhere. These can be worth it if you have many needs that you want to target or in general depending on the pack.
And lastly, these are the packs I feel are consistently worth the investment in relation to building and completing, especially when they can check off both boxes I mentioned earlier!
Although they can be a bit pricy and pull rates aren’t the best, it can be worth it to just save up to hit them a bit as I find they have the best return on investment.
They are, The (Album) legendary seeker pack (I believe that’s what it’s called, I do mistake it sometimes. Please correct me so I can edit this if so lol), and the Sunday epic pack. There are others but they fall under what I’ve already gone over.
The seeker pack is from a particular Album like arts or science for example. The ones you want to keep an eye out for are the ones that you always get a limited legendary, and I believe a couple of lower rarity limited cards guaranteed from that particular album, in addition to a % chance at a new limited from that album. The cost and pull rates can make these scarce, especially if they’re a good card and epic/legendary rarity but this can also cause heavy pulls and saturation, again, check supply and demand. These tend to see good and sometimes great offers early, usually the same rarity as the new card. And if they’re scarce, they can sometimes hold value over time.
The Sunday Epic drops, well, every Sunday. The gem cost again is on the steep side, I believe 160 gems per pack, and pull rates are not too bad. What these offer however can be really useful. There’s lots of playable and value limited epics and from my experience, hitting this even a few times usually wields a decent limited epic two. Not to add what may come in if you hit the new limited epic and post it in game. The new limited epics in these packs tend to always trend to the more scarce side regardless of playability or value just due to the cost and rates.
These are the ones that to me stand out as they have had the best results for me. I’ve completed once, broke my collection willingly, completed again, took a long break and came back and completed once more. Done the dance a few times lol.
Again, I’m not saying there aren’t other worth while packs as there’s a few I enjoy that I didn’t list. But these are the ones I feel are most relevant to the topic at hand. You want to save up enough to at least try to get yourself a copy for yourself and a dupe or 2 if you’re trying for completion, or a copy or 2 to trade if you’re just looking for cards for your collection to play. These are also good to use to build decent dupes for future trades if you’re complete or have a few needs left to bait out those last cards.
Lastly coins. These are pretty straight forward as there’s not much variety wise like gem packs to spend them on. The ones I feel are best suited to today’s topic for coins are as follows:
First, the Collection of the Day coin pack version for a new limited card. You mainly want to pull on this pack if it meets both the limited card and collection criteria I’ve gone over. With the chance to pull limited cards from the same collection as the new card and the new card itself, this will be one of the good packs to invest your coins in when the criteria is met.
Lastly, and as of the time of this post. In the Basic packs section along the top row, there’s 3 coin packs, and 1 rotates out, and a new one rotates in, every few days. Disregard the other 3 below. You want to wait for one of those packs to meet the collection criteria, and only if you’re going to spend a decent stack on these, as it can take many coins to hit those value limiteds. The new cards in these are always basics and don’t yield much return, what makes them worth while is there’s a chance to pull a limited from the same collection, so if you have value needs of that particular collection or want good cards to trade, wait for this kind of pack to arrive that meets, what I consider, a good collection to pull for.
Im going to end here as I feel I’ve covered, in detail, some of the key points regarding new cards and packs and how they can be applied to building/completing. Next time I would like to go over some strategies you can use with the cards already in your collection and some tips on how to use them to their maximum potential for building/completing your collection.
As always, thank you for taking a moment to drop in. Always feel free to comment below if there’s any questions or if there’s any Trading or Collecting topics you’d like me to cover. I’ll do my best to respond. You can find me on the main discord server, link is in the sub description. Happy Trading and keep it Cue, see you in game!
Next time on Coaches Corner with WadeTheHeathen:
We’re going to jump into part 2 of Building your Collection and Working Towards Completion, this time discussing some strategies and tips for how to use the cards already in your collection! Hope to see you then!

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1 – Part 4.2 Part 5

Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)

Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.

You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)

In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...

Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)

...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:

If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.

(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)

Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!

Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)

Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.

The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)

Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...

I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)

...and I do mean everyone:

Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)

It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.

From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)

Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.

Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)

The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?

...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)

...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...

She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)

...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠

I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).

The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)

The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS

​

Trade URL - Steam Profile

• Buyouts valued as items in cash prices.
• Mainly interested in trading but taking offers through third party websites.
• Taking TF2 keys (Mann Co. Supply Crate Key) as well.
• Sending a trade offer is the fastest way to contact me, you can either dm or add me on steam.

🔥Feel free to join my steam trading group InventoryHub - excluding spammers and alt accounts.
//

Type	Name	FV	Info	Tradable	SS	B/O ($)
💔Knife	★ Karambit Case Hardened (BS)	0.83	#463 - red eye pattern	Yes	📷	12345
💔Knife	★ StatTrak™ M9 Bayonet Case Hardened (FT)	0.16	#503 - tier 1 pattern with scar	Yes	📷	5555
💔Knife	★ Karambit Case Hardened (WW)	0.42	#670 - blue ring & blue playside	Yes	📷	4444
💔Knife	★ Bayonet Case Hardened (WW)	0.42	#321 - p4	Yes	📷	2499
💔Knife	★ Talon Knife Crimson Web (FT)	0.29		5/22/2024	📷	446
💔Knife	★ Nomad Knife Case Hardened (BS)	0.98	decent amount of mixed blue	5/22/2024	📷	303
💔Knife	★ Huntsman Knife Autotronic (FT)	0.35		5/26/2024	📷	212
💙Gloves	★ Sport Gloves Slingshot (FT)	0.26		5/23/2024	📷	969
💙Gloves	★ Hydra Gloves Case Hardened (BS)	0.77	#829 - p1	Yes	📷	938
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves King Snake (FT)	0.19		Yes	📷	532
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Snow Leopard (FT)	0.20		5/23/2024	📷	521
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Snow Leopard (FT)	0.20		5/22/2024	📷	521
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web (FT)	0.22	#89 - tier1 pattern with clean E	Yes	📷	499
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Field Agent (FT)	0.16		Yes	📷	426
💙Gloves	★ Specialist Gloves Mogul (FT)	0.16		5/26/2024	📷	218
💙Gloves	★ Moto Gloves Smoke Out (FT)	0.19		Yes	📷	198
💙Gloves	★ Moto Gloves Turtle (FT)	0.15		5/27/2024	📷	180
💙Gloves	★ Driver Gloves Diamondback (FT)	0.31		Yes	📷	127
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Slate (FN)	0.00004	x4 vox holo kato15 on super low float ak (1/2)	Yes	📷	3999
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Cyrex (FN)	0.04	ibuypower holo kato14 above mag + x2 crown foil	Yes	📷	3333
💚Rifle	AK-47 Fire Serpent (FT)	0.18	vox holo kato14 on wood + crown foil next position	Yes	📷	3333
💚Rifle	AWP Asiimov (FT)	0.29	titan holo kato14 on the scope	Yes	📷	3125
💚Rifle	AK-47 Black Laminate (FT)	0.35	x4 kato14 (ibuypower holo on wood, titan, lgb holo, reason)	Yes	📷	2599
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ M4A4 In Living Color (FN)	0.042000	x4 dignitas holo col14 (1/1)	Yes	📷	2499
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AWP Electric Hive (FN)	0.03	dignitas holo col14 on the scope + x3 holo kato14 (vp, dignitas, mystik)	Yes	📷	1666
💚Rifle	AK-47 Case Hardened (FT)	0.37	ibuypower holo kato14 above trigger	Yes	📷	1449
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Slate (FN)	0.01	x4 fnatic holo dh14	Yes	📷	749
💚Rifle	AK-47 The Empress (WW)	0.39	x4 gold krakow17 (dosia, pashabiceps, x2 nbk)	Yes	📷	669
💚Rifle	M4A4 Eye of Horus (FN)	0.06		Yes	📷	664
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Phantom Disruptor (FN)	0.05	x4 navi holo dh14 (1/1)	Yes	📷	549
💚Rifle	AK-47 Fuel Injector (FN)	0.06	x2 flammable Foil (wood and back)	Yes	📷	549
💚Rifle	AWP Redline (MW)	0.11	titan kato14 on the scope	Yes	📷	369
💚Rifle	AK-47 Asiimov (FN)	0.06		5/26/2024	📷	201
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ M4A4 Faded Zebra (BS)	0.78	high float - x4 kato14 (3dmax, vox, ldlc, complexity)	Yes	📷	199
💚Rifle	M4A4 Temukau (FN)	0.06	x4 c9 kato15 (1/1)	Yes	📷	179
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Vulcan (BS)	0.46		Yes	📷	164
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Red Laminate (WW)	0.38	harp of war holo next to wood	Yes	📷	149
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Hyper Beast (FN)	0.03		5/26/2024	📷	129
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AWP Asiimov (BS)	0.81		Yes	📷	120
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 The Empress (MW)	0.13		5/26/2024	📷	119
💚Rifle	StatTrak™ AK-47 Legion of Anubis (FN)	0.06		Yes	📷	50,81
💚Rifle	AWP Chrome Cannon (BS)	0.69		5/26/2024	📷	37,7
💚Rifle	M4A1-S Chantico's Fire (FT)	0.26		5/26/2024	📷	28,13
💚Rifle	AWP Worm God (MW)	0.11	x3 kato15 (envyus holo on scope * x2 clg)	Yes	📷	22
💚Rifle	AK-47 Head Shot (FT)	0.32		5/26/2024	📷	11,63
💛Pistol	USP-S Stainless (WW)	0.43	titan holo kato14 above handle & x2 titan holo kato15	Yes	📷	2499
💛Pistol	USP-S Overgrowth (FN)	0.06	crown foil above handle (rare combo)	Yes	📷	279
💛Pistol	P250 Mehndi (FN)	0.04	x4 kato14 (vp, mousesports, fnatic mystik)	Yes	📷	222
💛Pistol	StatTrak™ Desert Eagle Conspiracy (FN)	0.03	x4 liquid mlg16	Yes	📷	36
💛Pistol	Desert Eagle Code Red (FT)	0.31		5/26/2024	📷	20,03
💜SMG	Souvenir UMP-45 Urban DDPAT (FT)	0.35	titan foil kato14	Yes	📷	169
💜SMG	StatTrak™ MP9 Airlock (FN)	0.06		5/26/2024	📷	29,01

I 20M started dating a girl 19F around 8 months ago. She was the best thing that happened to me. Even before meeting her, I was pretty good and socially popular, but meeting her was just icing on the cake (she was literally the best, she comforted me, she did all my homework, and somehow Idk if it's good at all but it seemed I was the center of her life, all her future plans were with me, her every action connected to me somehow). She on the other hand had severe emotional trauma, and an identity crisis, including a lack of independence, and a lack of awareness of what she wants (all accredited to her parents). She also had some personality crisis, like she had been faking herself for so long that she forgot who she really was. I helped her through all of these things, she can now accept her true personality and be as she is (she was always pressurized to be this certain version by her parents), and she knows what she wants (earlier all her outfits were selected by her mom, now she has a voice of her own and wears what she likes), etc. Lately, every person and I'm not just talking friends here, the uni authorities the educators, the seniors, everyone has just one thing to say - this girl is sucking the life out of this boy, he is not the same cheerful kid he was some months ago, and his smile is long gone. My question is is it even possible, I don't suspect a thing, but everyone around me is thinking the aforementioned and not a single is saying otherwise. The seniors are saying that I'd end up ruining my career if I stick with her, I really don't know if it's possible - she's the sweetest most innocent girl I've ever seen. One thing that stuns me is that we've never in 8-9 months had an argument, never have we had a fight (minor things exist like I crack a joke and she's not in the mood, but that's very rare), and never have her opinions been different from mine! To be honest I'm a very difficult guy to be with, for eg since we almost spend the entire day together in uni, I'm not the guy to specially take her out on weekends, I'm not really the gifting type either (tho I'll add that I verbally praise her a lot), i crack a lot of offensive jokes, especially targetted at her parents (ya know, for what they did to her), I make her jealous often (all in good spirits, lol), and she somehow agreed with everything as well, like she had no problem with anything whatsoever. I'm actually so surprised at these points that make me question if what everyone is saying is true (like the too good to be true case). I didn't wanna bring this point in, but (and let me say i do not believe in astrology), 3 astrologers (first when I was around 10, the other when I was around 15, and the last very recently) told my family, that before I turn 21 a girl would come in my life, who would distance me from my mom and eventually, ruin my careelife. My mom has disliked my girlfriend since the 3rd month or so, earlier she tried hard to like her. My mom has had huge fights and given silent treatments to me for the last 5 months, and the epicenter of almost all fights (when I say fights I literally mean hours of yelling) and silent treatments (which I do not defend at all, and have been min 3 to max 10 days long) have been her. My mom, in addition to all the points she has against my gf, thinks that she might be a gold digger. I really don't know what to say, tbh it goes without saying that earlier I was very cheerful and had a very positive mindset as compared to the present, like in the last sem vs this sem. Please, is it even possible??! Edit 1: Some other details Since the first month she's been talking about marriage Also, one of my first interactions with her was her praising how my house looked based on a story I posted Edit 2: I don't think that she's a gold digger, but my family does. She often visited my house after college and we had lunch together. Some things were picked up by my family which to them were indicative that she, in a very short time, had planned to settle down with me, like her saying that one day she'll also have her name outside our house and all.