Very sore throat, body and boob aches

Hi there I have a very sore throat on one side and I’m seeing the doctor just setting myself up. If they prescribe antibiotics has anybody here giving antibiotics to their baby at two months and the baby has grown up and then just fine. Please comment current age of baby and when u we’re on antibiotics(amoxicillin)?

Ok... sorry for the novel, but I really wanted some opinions.
I have enlarged tonsils since I am a little girl. I remember my pediatrician telling my mom something like: "Hmmm in a normal case I would remove them, but this poor girl is always at hospital so let's give her a break if it doesn't cause her problems. Just put a humidifier in her bedroom."
I never really thought my tonsils were bugging me, cause I never made a link til recently between my tonsils and frequent throat infection, soar throats, etc. I only had one real tonsillity in my life.
In December 2022, I caught a cold that never wanted to go away. I got antibiotics near Christmas and they made me bleed like crazy. Sorry for the details, but I was literally spitting some chunks of blood, could play with them like Playdoh. I felt like I was spitting some parts of my body. It lasted like 2 days. I seriously thought I'd have to go to hospital but didn't cause it stopped.
Since then, I didn't stop having problems. I went to em so many times and our ems are just so stupid in Quebec. They were watching me 30 seconds (no joke), saying I had asthma, sinusity, bronchitty, or nothing at all... never the same diagnostic, no scan or real test, and prescribe me antibiotics, pumps and sprays that never worked. And I always followed the treatment correctly like they told me, like a good little soldier. I had a constant headache and couldn't breathe properly.
After almost a year of not feeling good, being depressed and very persistant suicidal thoughts (I even wrote a suidide letter to my kids and boyfriend), I finally decided to go to a private clinic. I had a scan and the lady told me I had a maxillary chronic sunisity. For the first time, I felt like someone was listening to me and wow, that was good. I had a septoplasty, which did help a lot my breathing but didn't solve the entire thing.
Now, the problem seems to really be more in my throat and I really begin to wonder if my tonsils could be the issue... I feel like my tonsils became bigger with all the antibiotics I took in 2022-2023. I still can swallow, but it is not as fluid as before. I really feel like an animal is stuck between my nose and my throat. I can spit some little pieces but the feeling of having somebody living in my throat never disappear. lol Constant post nasal drip, pressure all over the face with variant intensity during the day, throat aches with variant intensity. I really feel like I want to spit something big and thick, but it is too far between my nose and throat to get out. Like a part of me that wasn't there before. Also, it makes me sound more nasal, which I absolutely hate. I am totally blind so my voice is like a reflection in a mirror and now I feel like a part of my face is burnt, if you know what I mean...
I don't think I have real tonsils stones since I heard tonsils stones were hard. But every morning, I spit chunks of thick mucus. I feel like I cannot spit everything cause it is too thicnk and too far from my nose or throat to be spittable!!! I snore a lot when I sleep too.
The funny thing is that some doctors told me my tonsils were realllllllly big and some others just told me: oh they are just a little bigger than normal, nothing to worry about... I know they are also cryptic.
I mean, maybe the problem is not my tonsils... I just want to find what I have exactly.
I know you are not experts, but what do you think of all this? Do some people with tonsils problems experimented the same symptoms?
Thank you to the 2 people who will read all this!!! :)

Hi,
32M, 176cm, 106kg, white, France.
My entire life, even when I was a baby (my mom says), I've had issues with getting colds all the time. Well I say "cold" but I kind of don't know what infection exactly it is that I'm getting... but I get it at least twice a year, and the symptoms are just those of a common cold. So, yeah, I feel like I catch every single wave of common cold ever. My symptoms are sneezing, congested nose, coughing, sore throat, lungs aching a bit, headaches from the coughing... and I sleep worse because it's harder to breathe well at night in a lying position. I don't have any more serious symptoms that would hint at the flu. It's relatively mild, but I just catch it ALL the time.
I know that several viruses can be responsible for what I experience as a common cold, I know that certain viruses mutate a lot which can make building an immunity problematic. But I basically never catch any other type of illness, either. I think my immune system is fairly good, I've worked in COVID-ridden spaces during the height of the pandemic and never caught that either.
I see other people though who never get colds, so, it IS possible to build an immunity against it even where I live... just not for me. Is this a weird quirk of a specific virus, a weird quirk of my immune system, a combination of many factors? I'm not pathologically clean and tidy, but I do wash my hands when I come home from public places, and I don't really lick door handles or anything.
Thank you for reading.

As If It Were Kismet: Prologue
Matt tore through the brush, blind in the dark. He didn’t care where he was going. He only knew he needed to be elsewhere. Far from here.
Behind him a creature howled that shocked his mind. It’s form was cruel and dangerous, though female. Nothing like the young woman she had once been. Nothing but a girl, a small and slight female.
It’s guttural growls and howls only grew closer as Matt tried to pick between seeing where he was going and getting away. The few times he looked he caught sight of the creature behind him. Hopping through the air with a speed that told him he was being toyed with. As if he were a mouse being played with by a cat.
But the reflex in him to run kept him going. His adrenaline going as hard as it could. The tightness and burning in his core tensing and locking up as his legs felt like there were being burned from within while taking on more of a heaviness.
His lungs were starting to betray him as he tried to gulp big breaths of air but only rapid and shallow breaths were all that he could manage. His brain was starting to burn….and then he was falling.
Falling down the side of a hill he saw the creature dart in a spring towards him, imperceivably fast almost. Catching him in mid air it seemed.
Managing to wrap its body around him and cushion his impact against the ground as they rolled. His mind barely took in what was happening during the roll. Only starting to understand what was happening once they were still.
The creature's triple D-cup breasts were unmistakably pressed hard against his back as he laid facing up at the night sky.
For a few seconds the world stilled and the needle light pain hitting the center of his brain took over for the cooking heat his brain had felt. His whole body felt heavy and reluctant to move.
Even if he could have really moved, a dull ache came over his limbs making them feel stilled and trapped as if by immeasurable amounts of sand that had engulfed him.
Slowly the arms holding him started to move. Moving so the creature's hands could start exploring him. Causing Matt to unstoppably let out a pathetic moan that made him go cold inside as hands lifted up his shirt and started to touch his exposed stomach and then his chest.
He would have whimpered so pathetically had he not still been in the depths of terror.
As its hands felt and groped his pecs he tried to situp as if to get away. For his efforts, his reward was a hand around his throat and a collection snarls and growls against his ear. A beastly, guttural voice spat words at him while somehow holding a feminine tone.
“Don’t move….I don’t know if I can calm down…”
Her words were not helped by her moans in his ear and the subsequent kissing of his ear. The flesh of his ear going between her lips as she moaned and seemed to pant. Releasing it and licking the side of his face with a moist warmth. He could feel its spittle, viscous and coating his flesh where the tongue touched. He could smell something in his saliva. Something that subtly entranced him.
Matt went stock still with fear and the confusion of mixed arousal. He barely perceived her right hand traveling lower on his body. A surprised moan and shudder echoed in the night from Matt’s lips as she took ahold of him. Her hand above his pants but still….stimulating him.
A light squeezing and almost probing of her digits kept him aroused and confused within her grasp. Resigning himself to the strange fate, Matt looked up at the stars as his mind tried not to shatter under the strange maelstrom of events and sensation that had started mere minutes ago.
His mind was only more confused as a slight figure, feminine in build, how it seemed to thunk the ground audibly as she landed on her feet out nowhere. Her knees barely bending under the pressure of the landing. Yet dirt was kicked up anyways and some of it onto Matt. Feeling it pepper his shirt and pants as it fell.
The figure, lit only faintly by moonlight, roared some dark tone Matt could only perceive as a demon as her eyes went bright with a crimson light. A light in the darkness that should not have been. “Let him go you bitch.” Was its words following the roar. Spittle escaping its mouth with faint droplets hit Matt's face.
The creature holding him by his throat and crotch seemed to tighten the grasp of both hands as it roared back. “HE IS MINE!”
The figure paused with a moment's hesitation. He was also her quarry. She had felt his fear without him knowing. His confused arousal. His fear. His terror.
And now he laid at the center of a struggle between two monsters. Unsure of who he wanted to win.
As If It Was Kismet Ch. 1
Matthew Berkshire hadn’t seen his mom in two years. Not that he had seen her much over the last six years.
A messy divorce between messy people and mom’s chaotic want for a life in Alaska had been one of the most…upsetting times in life. Setting him up for so much of what had defined his life thus far but then that had really started two years before he ever turned.
His ear buds were basic and simple. A part of cheap five pack, common for his life as he was known to lose little things. Small things. They had a mix of metal and hard rock playing in them. Some classics, some alternative. Whatever made him feel something, anything. Even if it was hate. Anger. Rage. It was better than feeling numb. Not belonging.
The escalator down to his lone bag to go with his lone carry on showed his mom waiting for him. His had a type, that’s for damn sure. Not that it helped him in the genetics department as he was stuck at 5’9” to go along with his mother’s five foot even as his dad stood six foot. Forever leaving him to feel small, to pale, under his dad’s shadow. Did he ever stand a chance?
The guy next to her with the unkempt former seventies porn stache was “Dave.” He’d met him twice when his mother came and visited him in Florida. To his credit the guy didn’t look annoyed. Kind of concerned kind of which made Matthew want to break his frozen look but he was well practiced. Having removed any note of sadness from his face through much…tribulation.
His mother’s look on her face betrayed a hint of worry as the bruises on his face lightly showed up close. Saying his name was his like a distant echo that belonged to someone else.
Dave cut in and pulled out his right headphone. “What the hell bud, they knock you hard enough to hurt hearing? Your mom’s asking how you are doing.”
Matthew pulled out the other bud and grunted an empty “sorry.”
“You still have bruises after two week? What did they do to you?” His mom’s voice was full of worry. Something he hadn’t heard in….too long. Too long to make him feel anything. To ever make him believe there was any sincerity to her words. To not think her voice and mannerisms were an act. An act by someone who…wasn’t really there.
“It’s only fair. I took a nose. Fractured a couple orbital bones. Left one with having to get his jaw wired shut. And one will never walk right again for what I did to his knee cap.” Matthew said it all with a bored and disinterested tone. Perhaps well rehearsed.
“My man, handing out ass kickings, not bothering to take names.” Dave was quick to be the typical man’s man about it. Matthew wasn’t quite done yet. Lifting up his shirt to expose the right side near his kidney. Revealing a nasty scar from a six inch blade. “Luckily they gave me this first so they could rule it all in self-defense. The fuck didn’t get it in more than inch before I ruined his knee cap and then I took the nose of one of the fucks holding me.” Now he chose to smile keeping the well practiced dead look in his eyes.
No retorts. No questions. Just horrified looks on their faces. As he liked. As he preferred. They could hate him. They could be disgusted by him. But by God they would fear him.
“Well the doc did a good job sewing you up.” Dave commented uncomfortably. “Dissolving sutures. Ain’t they grand.” He smiled again and let it abruptly fall off his face and started walking to the carousel for the baggage claim.
Waiting and making small talk with Dave as his mother stood in silence. He was not the little boy she abandoned. The little boy she left with an angry man. While never hitting him. Left him in constant fear till he turned twelve and just didn’t care anymore. Something snapped. Broke. And he didn’t care if he died. Didn’t care if he stole. Didn’t even care if he killed. He just knew not to get caught. Something left over from his grandfather’s wisdom which came to make more and more sense with each passing year of life since that thing inside him broke.
Finally his bag came around and Dave went to try first to grab it but Dave practically leapt ahead of him. “Is that your grandfather’s rucksack bag?” his mother asked in a perplexed voice.
“Figured it’s been around since Viet Nam. So it’d serve me better than any of the worthless stuff they called luggage.” Dave commented after Matthew’s words. “Well hell yeah I still got mine from Desert Storm. You know the first one.” Dave laughed and Matthew eyed him oddly. Be it in the south or whether it was Alaska, country boys are country boys he guessed.
The car ride to the two people’s house, as Matthew thought of them. Was uneventful and full of vistas he imagined metropolitan types wetting themselves over. At most they meant isolation to him. Furtherness from the world as there were no mountains in Florida. And what mountains he had last seen in another state had been when he was eight. Another life, to Matthew it felt like. A life alien to him.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 2
Dave and his mom’s place was some two story type tucked into a tree line far up an elevated point. It was by no means the highest point in the mountain but it certainly felt up there.
Rocks were where the driveway should have been Matthew thought. Grabbing his backpack and rucksack from Dave’s jeep was no hard thing for him. Matthew was in formidable shape for someone his age, maybe even five years older. He had gotten a mix of fairly big shoulders and arms along with the chest to go for it when compared to most kids his age. A side effect of working out at least twice a day. First thing in the morning, some time in the evening, and the school’s gym when had had a good semester in school before he had to leave Florida.
Dave tried to come up and help him but Matthew walked past him towards the house. His mom was not sure what to make of his demeanor. Matthew was not the sweet kind boy he had once been. But she had been gone from his life essentially for a long time.
Ushering him into the house she cracked some joke he did not hear. He was too busy looking about and seeing a mix of old outdated decorating mixed with the strange and odd flair of his mother. Color contrasting against drab and dated. Like brightly painting over an old home that was falling apart he thought.
“Your room is this way Mattie.” His mom brightly intoned.
Without expressing any interest he followed his mother. Still faced and nonplussed. Just going along with the current. Pushed and pulled with its roll like a piece of driftwood.
The room was simple. A single small bed. A set of rubber weights with a curl bar and barbells. “Your dad said you were into weight lifting so we got you a bunch of stuff. Dave says it looks like his department’s gym almost. The woman’s smile felt very alien to him.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. I’ve got most of my stuff from home.” Matthew starting unpacking his rucksack and pulled out cables of repetitive and mixed colors. A single plastic barbell handle. The ruck sack could be filled with water bottles for added weight during pushups he figured. Remembering a Michael Keaton movie he watched with his dad post-Batman movies where he played a convicted killer using plastic bags filled with water for weights.
Matthew caught movement outside his lone fairly large window that could let him step out onto the roof of the house given its layout.
He saw a number of people running together through what he guessed was the backyard of the property, not that it had any fences to mark boundaries
They wore clothes that looked similar yet different from each other at the same time.”Oh those are the Johnston’s. Really nice bunch of people. Been on the mountain for a long time Dave tells me.”
Matthew looked at the group of people running and noticed the lack of resemblance. “They are related?” Matthew quizzically asked. Seeing a black and possibly a hispanic person amongst the bland looking white people.
“Oh well they are all adopted but for one or two of them…besides the parents of course. The family has a long tradition of taking in orphans they say. Real nice of them to do that don’t you think.”
Matthew looked at his mother and the hosier accent made no sense to him as he arched his left eye brow. Her and his dad were both from Florida. Born and raised. Sure her parents were from New York city but…
Matthew shook his lightly without turning to look at his mother as his vision was grabbed by one of the runners in particular. A girl of moderate height. Soft brunette. A plain beauty he figured with a slim build….and lack of remarkable breasts and rear to make any note of but….girls in general were his type at his age.
She was pretty enough. He couldn’t deny that but he found himself transfixed by her visage.
But the way she turned and looked at him, especially at that distance felt very disconcerting to him. Even if she was smiling like…she was a taste of a bright shiny day. Somehow.
Matthew’s mom noticed the exchange and smiled to herself with closed lips. “Oh that’s Vicky. She’s your age I think. Very sweet girl, who does the charity functions. You know bake sales, blood drives, car washes and the like. I think you should get to know her. Might be good for you.”
A truck horn sounded a couple of beeps in rather succession. “Oh that must be Mack, he said he might come by later this evening but he seems early.”
Matthew’s mother turned and left his room. Leaving Matthew to exchange a few looks with the alluring Vicky as she turned her head away from him to talk to the others in her group and look back at him.
Still Matthew’s left eyebrow was arched. In a way that reminded him of Spock from Star Trek that he and his grandpa used to watch on some streaming service or another.
As he heard ambient chatter elsewhere outside the house he figured to check it out as the alluring sight of Vicky would be around he figured. It was dull to stare at artwork. He was a boy who preferred jet skis and the like. Something he could ride and enjoy immensely. Even if at times it got him stabbed.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 3
Matthew sauntered out of the house and down the rockway that stood in for a driveway.
A few new people had come over from what he could first surmise of the situation. As he got closer it was obvious they were indigenous people. A couple of grown men…and a girl?
She was mousey. Maybe five foot. Hiding behind glasses and a big camo jacket that was far too big for her. It looked made for a grown man and the backwards trucker hat on her head kept her long black a beautiful mess of sorts.
She was cute in a way. A little androgynous but she had a cute energy to her. She reminded him of the more tomboyish Puerto Rican girls he had gotten into back in Florida. Given the deer corpses in the back of the truck….probably more dangerous to play with given the men in her family.
Small chatter passed between the adults when the girl noticed but turned away, trying to hide the tiny hint of a smile.
“Oh Mattie, this is Mack. He works with Dave at the sheriff’s department and John, he’s with fish and wildlife.” Matthew nodded at his mom’s words with some blankness as he looked at the deer the in the back of the pickup truck.
“Gale tells us you hunted with your dad some in Florida and Georgia.” Mack offered with a light hearted laugh camouflaged by his big simple and cheery but husky way he spoke.
Looking in the back of the truck he spoke. “We used lever action thirty-thirties and Mosin Nagants in seven-six-two-fifty-four-rimmed.” Mack and John whistled in an exaggerated fashion. Leaving Matthew to wonder if they were mocking him.
Mack spoke. “Well we just used thirty-odd-six in a custom gussied Garand.” That caught Matthew’s attention. “You have a Garand…” Matthew finally demonstrated interest in anything. “My dad has an SVT-40 and a Hakim 8mm but he always wanted a Garand but was too cheap to buy one.”
Gale, his mother, chimed in loudly. “Oh his Dad loved his guns but was such an odd duck about how he bought or why he bought them. Never made sense to me how he wasn’t a collector but he didn’t get the latest and greatest.” Gale laughed uncomfortably. At least it seemed that way to Matthew.
Matthew pointed to the girl with an underhanded pointing hand. “And who is this? A cute little mute mouse or does she have a name?” Dave and the other men laughed.
Mack again spoke. “Well you people call her Rebecca, she’s my adopted daughter.” Matthew was taken aback by what he heard. “You people?”
Rebecca kindly spoke with a soft but almost melodic voice as she struggled to maintain eye contact. “White people or rather not members of our tribe. It’s just easier to appease the colonizer kind of thing. Borrowed from when the Jesuit missionaries chased us up here.”
Mack stepped in. “It’s just easier to have white people names than have them try to say our tribal names. And we don’t want them shortening or Anglicising our names kind of thing.” Rebecca stepped back into the conversation cutting off her adopted father. “It’s an insult to our history basically.”
Matthew cocked his head sideways raising his eyebrows shortly before letting them drop. “Well as soon as I’m eighteen I’m out of here and back to Florida so I’m a sort of involuntary colonizer of sorts. So I won’t be taking any of your land from you. The Seminoles on the other hand are still shit out of luck.”
Rebecca’s smile caused Matthew to reflexively smile. Mack made the moment more awkward. “See Becca, I told you someone off the reservation would like you some. You just have to be creative.” Mack laughed in a chiding manner…Matthew presumed. He sensed that he was the butt of some kind of cultural joke. Like marrying a white guy was some sort of insult or mark of shame. That kind of thing.
Rebecca turning away from him was not something he had been expecting. Her then getting in the truck in a huff left the group in a silence for a moment.
Dave spoke to break the awkward silence. “Well just bring the truck to work on Monday and leave it for me to grab up.” Mack acknowledged Dave and they started to get off as Rebecca looked at Matthew for another instance. Matthew couldn’t look away for some reason as the two seemed to lock eyes for an instance.
Till Vicky and family seemed to come jogging down the road. While Matthew’s eyes diverted from Rebecca’s. Hers did not till she realized he was looking elsewhere. And her vision found Vicky and what had been a hint of smile on her face turned glum and disappointed.
Matthew did not look away from the vision of Vicky but instead of a starry eyed fool looking longingly. It was a baffled look. Well baffled for him, with his eyes drawn narrow and night with a focus.
There was something about her…he couldn’t quite put a name too. The way she appeared to him. One second brunette. The next second blonde or blonde like. As if the color appeared in her air and disappeared in fractions of seconds. Much the same way her body almost seemed to…shift…very subtly…smoothly. A nicer bum. Larger breasts. And then back to a simple and plain form. Feminine no doubt. Attractive. But not so…remarkable.
As If It Was Kismet Ch 4
The next two days passed without incident. Nothing of any real substance or challenge to note.
Matthew got settled somewhat and started working out almost immediately. Exploring around the woods but Dave told him not to go far. Especially without a hunting rifle. Dave had left a simple semi-auto Winchester out for him. His bear gun as Dave referred to it with its four round magazine. But Matt figured till he got some practice with the rifle to leave it alone. He made a hiking stick like his grandpa taught him and treated it over a low fire. He would take some electrical tape for the end his hand would grip around. Plenty enough to ward off anything smaller than a bear he figured.
The ride to school was a pain in the neck but simple enough. Dave would let him use a clunker pickup truck he had laying around. It wasn’t pretty but it would get him to and from. Even if it was from the eighties and still backfired on occasion. But for now Dave and his mom took him on their way to the sheriff’s department.
It wasn’t much of a school. It wanted to be modern but its fifties original construction was very obvious. It serviced the pipeline families and familys’ of fisherman who worked the seasons in between their time at the pipeline.
Matt was to report to the principal for some reason Dave and his mom wouldn’t share. Which annoyed him but he figured it was to read him the law of land. Small towns with their big views of the outside world and like.
Dressed in jeans, a grey sweatshirt under a light jacket with steel toed boots set him more apart then he expected. His buzzed head didn’t help matters. Already he was feeling like a stranger in a strange land but he was quite strange after all. And he liked it that way. Normal people were so pathetically disappointing to him.
A secretary or assistant or some such led him to the principal’s office. Where it reeked of real wood that was old and fabric and upholstery that needed to be updated for the last twenty years, Matt figured.
“This is Matthew Berkshire, Principal Andrews.” The man was turned with his back to the door and he was quick to wave her off as he turned her around.
He was an older man. Fat and large. Tall with a body built like he had once been fit and a demeanour of annoyed and irate already as he fixed Matt with a scowl and look of disgust. Another worthless government whore. Matt thought to himself. His father and his grandfather had bestowed unto him a natural disrespect for government workers and the figures that wore unjustified authority as a shield but pretended the weight of the state was not at their back ready to crush all who resisted. Little figures of valor pretending to be mighty and alone but acting with the tyranny of the state and all the backing.
“Mr. Berkshire, please sit down.” His tone wasn’t unusually hostile, just gruff. As if he had better things to do.
Matt complied and took a seat in the chair while maintaining a friendly facade. Not everyone was an enemy. And not everyone needed to be an enemy. Even if anybody could be any enemy. There was no reason to make enemies you didn’t have to. Another of his grandfather’s bastardised wisdoms.
“Well I looked over you file and you have quite the history Mr. Berkshire.” Matt resisted qiuping back a joke. Instead he waited for Principal Andrews to continue as he remained nonplussed and looking as if he felt no need to respond. A simple head tilt with dead eyes looking back at the principle as if he was not even there would suffice.
Matt’s reaction or lack of a reaction rather made Principal Andrews only narrow his eyes with examination. He was not used to a kid not responding to him. Especially with his gruff and hard act going on.
“Well by all accounts you moved here after some problems at your last school. A fight broke out and you did some real harm to your fellow students it appears.” Of course, he would take the side of the perpetrators. School administrators always did. Especially when they weren’t white. Just a fact of the times. Cowardice and pathetic mediocrity was the way they leaned, like good government workers sucking the dick of Big Daddy government. Worthless whores.
Matt chose to reply. “Oh you mean the criminals that stabbed me. Got arrested at the hospital and then pled to felonies. Yeah Florida, with the American counties are good like that.” Principal Andrews went real still. No shame. No fear. No penitence. He didn’t like that.
“Well be it as it may Mr. Berkshire we don’t tolerate that kind of behaviour here…” Matt cut him off responding with a deadpan tone. “You mean self-defense meant to save one’s own life while the cowardly and pathetic school workers look on with zero interest but to keep their money rolling in and will allow known gang members with records of violent acts and crimes that should have them expelled many times over, where in certain Democrat counties such cowardice and idiocy empowered a couple school shooters?”
Principal Andrews looked at the Matt with a note of disgust. “Look here Mr. Berkshire, your beliefs matter not one bit here. This isn’t Florida. We don’t like our way of life being disrupted by outside agitators who have problems with authority.”
Matt did his best not to roll his eyes and let the older fat man drone own as he dead-stared him. Lifeless and without emotion.
The man came to a finish and Matt spoke up without having listened to him or paid him any attention. “Great now that’s taken care of. Can I please get to class and finish my sentence of two years at your wonderful school?”
Principal Andrews huffed and snorted before calling in Vicky. Vicky stood in the corner after entering with a quiet and seamless presence. Matt felt disturbed and tried not betray his feelings as the young Vicky was perceived and not perceived to be moving.
Principal Andrews made the introductions and Matt nodded back. She was to be his chaperone for the day. They had the same classes and she was to show him the ropes so to speak. The ins and outs of the school. The locations of their classes.
He recognized her. It was hard not to. The way her appearance seemed to shift fluidly almost. The petite and skinny brunette ever so lightly had a big bust and blonde hair with curves added when she seemed to shift before his eyes. Like watching a film but each frame had a different person.
Matt didn’t say anything about it. Even if he did he would only be acknowledging his crazed state, if he had one. If.
Unlike an obedient puppy dog he got up in a slow and awkward fashion and followed behind her as his oddly disproportionate frame allowed. Causing her a note of concern for some reason. As if she was seeing something she shouldn’t have been….Or he was just weird. And Matt could admit to himself he was just weird. Part of his charm, he would jest about it at times. Not that he had many people to jest to now.
As If It Were Kismet Ch. 5
Following Vicky into the hall off to their first class was simple. She exchanged small talk and he slightly smiled as if to obviously suggest he was just being polite.
Inside his head, Matt was trying to figure out if he was having a psychotic break. The way Vicky looked kept changing and he looked at the other people around him and they stayed the same.
He was searching his mind as they were walking. And thus he wasn’t paying attention to where he was looking and so fell to his face forward over his feet seemingly out of nowhere.
A series of laughs erupted as it sunk in that he was obviously tripped. Like in prison this was a challenge to his superiority. If he let this pass he would be mocked and sneered at by this same group of boys. He wouldn’t walk to them like he was going to do nothing like a little bitch.
In a rage he turned and punched the stomach of the first face he saw. Some typical blonde haired wannabe jock. He knew from experience not to aim for the ribs. Instead he needed to aim for where he thought the belly button was.
Yells and screams blindly echoed around him as his after the punch he followed up his elbow of the opposite arm slamming into the face of the jock. Harder than a fist, the elbow struck the jock’s jaw and seemingly dropped him against a locker. Just in time to catch an errant and soft punch to the nose that sure enough hurt but did little to slow him down as his dad had taught him to fight through the pain. Blood and scars happened. They were a natural consequence of life to a man.
Taking the punch and falling further into his red state Matt headbutted the punch thrower before another guy arm bared his throat from behind. Which he managed to get his grip on the arm over a letterman jacked and jerk the unprepared boy to the side with him still latched on.
A few feet away from the lockers Matt knew his only chance was to jump and push off the lockers and knock the boy to the ground and so he did. He heard a thunk of the boy’s skull bouncing off the ground and he turned to pull out of the grapple.
The beatings he had taken from his father, the grapples, being choked unconscious. Had prepared him for fighting little bitches who didn’t know what a fight was. It wasn’t gay porn with rabbit punch fists flying.
Blood was running down his face and the pain started to hit him as the threats had been eliminated. Only then did he remember to breathe. Taking breathes as Vicky came up to him with tissues and took a hold of his nose.
“Owww owww owww what the fuck my nose could be broken.” He said to Vicky as she pulled his head up and back.
“It’s ok Carl. It’s done.” Matt tried to look to see who Vicky was talking to. It was a boy taller than his 5’9” by more than a small margin. The boy eyed him bored and annoyed before speaking. “What happened here?” An unoriginal line but one Matt couldn’t be a smart aleck about. “Well you see there was an outbreak of tripping and we all tripped over my dick. It happens.” Matt was about to laugh when Vicky seemed to pull up while still gripping his nose causing Matt no small amount of pain which he audibly evidenced.
Vicky spoke in a tone he wasn’t expecting. As if she was accustomed to issuing orders. “Keep Iris away from the hall till we sanitize the site. We have blood from at least three people contaminating the site. And have Jake bring me a spare jacket and shirt for this moron.”
Carl seemed to acknowledge her orders and seemed to blink away. Maybe the punch hit harder than he expected. He had no time to wonder as Vick took her hand away from his and pushed him against the lockers. With ease he had not been expecting from her form and stature.
Before he could respond Vicky licked his blood covered chin and then his lips and spoke to him. “Focus on me you little blood bag.” Her tone had an annoyed yet feminine sneer.
“Look into my eyes. Look at me. You belong to me. You are just another food source in a collection of food sources.” Her eyes were a beautiful hazel Matt thought. Almost green. Pretty like jewels in some old treasure collections. The eyes he could get lost in before kissing her. Finally Vicky was just a slight and petite brunette and he thought she was beautiful.
She would make a hell of a girlfriend. Some cute thing he could see laying on the beach in Florida on their sides laughing and smiling before trading light kisses while hands wandered innocently. Before his mind could drift further he felt her lips on his. It took him a second to mentally grasp the kiss but his arms were around her back as her hands were at his sides. His eyes reflexively closed as he saw hers close.
It was ineffable to Matt. Beyond words, what was happening. The kiss, the moments beforehand. The way his brain tickled with electricity and gentle warmth. He had never had a kiss like this and he had traded more than a few kisses with at least a few girls.
The kiss was like a warm bath with his consciousness slipping beneath the surface. Their lips only parted to try new angles and approaches as Matt struggled to take in breath. It was a moment he could have stayed trapped in for….he didn’t know. But a curt throat clearing by another girl pulled them out of the moment.
The girl was taller than Vicky. Blonde. With slight curves. Vicky addressed her bewildered and gobsmacked, and perhaps a bit embarrassed. “Tina?”

We have talked online for a long time with this guy cause we are living far from each other. We have seen each others photos and now we are planning to meet for a first time. And as much as I am excited I am super nervous too.
I see every flaw in my body and some things which do not match to what he likes. And it's fine, he might not ditch me because of all them but I still feel embarrassed.
I honestly want to go do some procedures to get some of the things fixed. For instance I hate so called "love handles", my boobs because of age (33years) and weight loss got loose and are visibly different size. ;dd I don't even know, were they always that different or losing weight made it worse...
Unfortunately I can't do much about my butt. Which is not found and he is super into it. And I can't walk by other women now in the street who have round popping booties without feeling jealous and sad. :(( I have started exercising some time ago but of course there is not difference yet and I imagine even if it will be, it will be very little...
There are many more things I'm worried and dislike. And not sure what am I exactly looking for. Suggestions? Some consolation? Similar experiences? I guess anything could help. ;d

This is just a whole rant/sob story about what I’ve been feeling as of recent.
I’ve been crying about yesterday’s U2 Chemistry exam, and today’s Pure 2 assessment for the entire day.
They were horrible. I can’t begin to describe the shock I am in. I've been holding in so much sh*t for so long, but these exams have left me unable to hold it in anymore.
I have done every single past paper, from the Sample Paper to the Jan 2024 papers. I have studied really, really well. I have made sure to study so hard to a point I that there was nothing left I could do. I literally don’t know what else I could have done to prevent this from happening.
I was always ready to sacrifice everything for my grades and my future. For these A-Levels, I have ruined my health, my happiness, my social life, wasted my youth, but for what?
I get around 4 hours of sleep every night. I’m always too stressed to have an appetite to eat. I feel tense and anxious almost all of the time. I am always tired and keep getting body aches for no reason. I have no time to pursue the things I love anymore. I can count the number of times I have gone out with friends in the past 4 years on a single hand. I see all these American teens online having fun and going out every other day. I can’t even remember the last time I left the house to do something enjoyable.
Yeah, I know it sounds like I’m overreacting, and it’s just some ‘exams’, but my whole future is literally dependent on this. Regardless of all the effort and hard work I’ve put in, I f-ed up these exams.
My biggest dream has always been to get into a prestigious university on a scholarship to study medicine. But I can say goodbye to that now.
I grinded so hard in my IGCSEs to do well and I did. I got A*s for every subject and I guess that gave me false hopes that I could ace my A-Levels. Having sat these two exams, I feel so doomed. I know I performed horribley on them.
I feel nothing but disappointment, hopelessness, and fear right now. I have disappointed myself by ruining my chances of making my dream come true.
It's even worse when you feel that the others around you, who have high expectations, are also disappointed. My chemistry teacher was saying how she knew I would do well because of how hard I've worked, then when I told her about how the exam was, I saw how her face just dropped. Everyone was telling her it was terrible, and I feel like she was on the verge of crying.
Then today, before going into the math exam, my math teacher saw me trying to breathe while I was very nervous, and he said that 'it's going to be fine'. I literally told him, 'I don't think it will be', and he just tried to be optimistic about it. After the exam, I knew he'd come to ask how we did, so I tried to hide from the shame, but he found my friend and I. I was crying before, but while he was trying to make us feel better the tears were just pouring down my face.
I feel like the biggest failure ever. During the math exam, my heart started to beat so fast as I realized time was running out and I still had so many questions I was stuck on to complete. That's exactly when the 'it's over - my future is ruined' thoughts came to my head. I just kept thinking 'forget about going to a big university, the only place I can go to now in my home country'. I couldn't even hold back my tears at school. I just started crying in front of everyone like that.
The biggest shock to all of this is that my parents weren't even angry with me; they were almost sympathetic. For reference, my parents are very strict when it comes to academics, so I was expecting them to blow up on me when I told them how it went. They didn't though. They kept telling me it was okay, and that I should focus on my next exam. Not gonna lie, this probably felt worse than having them shout at me. While they didn't say anything explicitly about how they feel, I can feel that they're miserable, and it's all my fault.
I feel so guilty. Is this what my parents immigrated for? My parents have endured so much racism, so many financial struggles, and just a whole lot of sh*t for a long, long time to make sure I can get a good education and have a good future. It feels like I wasted almost 2 decades of struggle in a foreign country.
Imagine all those relatives back home who are expecting me to become a doctor to realize I messed up this bad. Then there is the other side of the family who have criticized my parents since the day I was born for wasting all that time just for education. These same people are the ones who kept trying to convince my parents to try to have another child, hoping for a boy, because 'what is a girl going to do for you when you're old and tired?' I was dead-set on proving them wrong, and honoring my parents' hard work my succeeding and giving them the best life I could afford. I wanted to be the daughter who could make her parents live a life of comfort and peace, better than any son ever could. Now what? It's not happening.
I won't get into a top university, let alone get a scholarship. I won't study medicine as I've dreamed of. I won't become a doctor. I won't retire my parents and let them enjoy the rest of lives without a care in the world if we had enough money to pay rent. I won't be able to do anything I dreamt of.
I've always been insecure. At one point in time though, I made peace with it and said that if I can't be pretty or charismatic, at least I could be smart. It's been the one thing I knew I could count on. But now I feel so f-ing stupid. Like what am I useful for anymore? If that was the one thing I could do right, but now it's gone, what even is my use in life anymore? I used to cry about being ugly, but now I'm dumb too.
Since Year 9, I have been going through a really rough time mentally. I went through a period of time when I was bullied really bad, then another where we were flat broke, then another time when my dad lost his job, then another when my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer, then half a year of my parents thinking of divorce, then dealing with the passing of 3 relatives. When does it stop being bad? I used to feed myself these corny lies of 'it's gonna get better' but it doesn't. And this exam period just proved me right.
I wanna give up now. I don't wanna sit anymore exams, and I'm just a third into it. In fact, I don't even wanna live anymore. I know it sounds dramatic to say this over an exam, but I've been holding in this entire rant for the longest time ever, and these exams just brought it out. I've attempted it twice already, but never succeeded.
Since I have no future anyways, I might as well not keep living. I swear to God, that if it weren't for my fear of going to hell, I would try to do it again. I won't though, until we see how the U2 Biology exam goes. But I don't have any hope for it to be any better.
I'm sorry for everyone who feels as though their future is ruined because of these exams, although they studied as hard as they could. May God reward us for our effort.

Hi all.. apologies if this is in the wrong page. I have recently had a battery off blood tests due to a number of symptoms. I have fatigue; tiredness back pain.upper and lower.actual general body pain which I put down to growing older!! particularly upper bilateral arm pain which I would have put down to muscle aches.. but they have lasted weeks Since january I have been getting random rashes that start with a burning itching sensation and then spread to ..neck face arms etc..sometimes raised and bumpy sometimes not.. usually happens when exposed to cold air. they do go away and antihistamines help. I do have an odd moving intermittent sharp pain on my left clavicle or behind it..I cannot pinpoint where it comes from. it reminds me off referred pain I had in my right shoulder when I had a benign liver cyst removed last October. I do lose circulation in my arms and legs frequently and have to move them to get them going again! ie so my hands and feet can go numb..and when I shake it out I get pins needles etc and then all is OK.. I have had this a long time but last few months very frequently sometimes a crawly feeling in lower legs and hands and sometimes face..head.. not unbearable more odd and happens intermittently no night sweats.. or permanent rash. my bloods are out of normal ranges in the following areas hair loss esp last 2 years no thyroid issues do have sleep apnea ( on cpap) hbp high cholesterol esr at 38 ( lab values should be under 15) c reactive protein 10 ( should be less then 5 low folate alk phosphatase is 135 and has been rising in each blood test.
mchv was just below baseline in my last bloods.. but fluctuates
immunoglobulin profile
IgG 12.78 g/L (5.52-16.31) IgA 3.63 g/L (0.65-4.21) IgM 0.59 g/L (0.33-2.93)
my gp was concerned about the immunoglobulin despite numbers being within levels and he ordered Serum Protein Electrophoresis test
That all seemed to be within the parameters however there was a comment on the report, included below.
Albumin (Per) 57.5 % (54.1-64.8) Albumin 44.9 g/L (38.0-51.0) Alpha 1 Fraction (Per) 3.9 % (3.1-5.2) Alpha 1 Fraction 3.0 g/L (2.3-3.9) Alpha 2 Fraction (Per) 10.0 % (7.3-11.9) Alpha 2 Fraction 7.8 g/L (5.3-9.0) Gamma Fraction (Per) 14.9 % (10.9-20.0) Gamma Fraction 11.6 g/L (7.7-15.5)
Comment See comment... Faint monoclonal IgA Kappa in the beta-gamma region, approx. 1 g/L. Quantification of free kappa and lambda light chains is recommended in the monitoring of monoclonal paraproteins. Please submit a fresh 2 mL sample of serum if you require this test to be performed.
09/05/2024 Specimen: Serum SPE Total Protein 78 g/L (64-83) Beta 1 Fraction (Per) 6.9 % (5.1-7.8) Beta 1 Fraction 5.4 g/L (3.6-5.7) Beta 2 Fraction (Per) 6.8 % (3.6-7.7) Beta 2 Fraction 5.3 g/L (2.6-5.9)
I think he ordered a free light chains serum test..but details not on report only the below comment
Free light chains-serum Results received from referral laboratory. Report forwarded to requesting location.
I have requested to speak to my GP but that can take a few days. I was a bit alarmed when I saw the faint monoclonal comment so wondering if anyone here might know what I could be looking at.. if this is the incorrect forum please let me know
thank you

I’ve been dating him for about 2 months and in the first month I didn’t notice because we didn’t kiss or make out until recently. He has no other hygiene issues body-wise but just the bad breath. If it’s a closed mouth kiss it’s manageable but the thought of an open mouth kiss is literally nauseating because I can smell his breath from across the car.
We’ve talked about hygiene before and I told him it’s something I don’t compromise on and he said it’s the same for him too but sometimes it seems he leaves his house without brushing (or doesn’t do a thorough job if he does). It doesn’t seem like a health issue like halitosis because I know that smell, this just seems like a lack of effort.
The first time we French kissed I chewed some gum and gave him some so it wasn’t terrible but a smell still lingered when we were done and also I noticed some food in his teeth but we had just finished eating so that was probably why. The next day I came down with a sore throat and cough which is still here 2 weeks later.
How do I tell him about this? It’s an embarrassing topic and he’s a sensitive sweet person and I don’t want to hurt his feelings and really want to continue this relationship.
Tl:dr: I need to tell my bf of two months that his breath isn’t good. We’re both in our mid twenties.

Trial Day 11
Katherine Jackson, Rebbie and Trent are at court.
Choreographer Travis Payne & Katherine Jackson spoke briefly in the courtroom before the jury came in. They seemed cordial
Travis Payne Testimony
AEG direct
Payne is wearing a black jacket with a gold emblem on the shoulders with the word "MJ" & a pair of wings
Payne said he was concerned about MJ missing rehearsals. He didn't know why he wasn't showing up, but MJ was also working on an album and a book
Payne said he did not think that Jackson had a problem abusing prescription medications. He acknowledged that Jackson missed rehearsals and he saw the singer shivering or appearing cold in some of his final rehearsals
He worked with Jackson beginning in the 1990's and testified that he never saw Jackson drink alcohol or take any medications. Michael also never discussed his medical treatments, Payne said
Payne told the jury he advised MJ he was looking thin.

"Michael said he was 'getting down to my fighting weight', which I took to mean that he was preparing for the performances", Payne testified. "I had no reason to doubt him"

Payne says he was satisfied with the response.
Payne said there was one day (6/19) when MJ was cold. He thought the frustration had him on edge. When Jackson needed to be layered in blankets and required a heater to be comfortable, Payne said, he believed Michael was merely fighting a cold.

"No one else was cold. He had flu-like symptoms"
"Sometimes he was tired and lethargic and had to be, not convinced, but supported throughout rehearsals," Payne recalled

Payne said that in April, May & June, MJ missed 5 rehearsals with the whole group. He said one time Ortega sent Michael home
Bina shows an email from Ortega to Gongaware on Jun 14:

"Were you aware that Michael's doctor didn't permit him to attend rehearsal yesterday? Without invading his privacy, it might be a good idea to talk to his doctor to make sure everything he requires is in place. Who is responsible for Michael getting proper nourishment/vitamins/therapy every day? Personally, I feel he should have a top Nutritionist and Physical Therapist working with him on a regular basis. The demand on this guy is mentally and physically extraordinary! The show requirements exhaust our 20 year olds. Please don't underestimate the need to stay on top of this"

Another part of the same email chain, from Gongaware:

"Frank and I have discussed it already and have requested a face-to-face meeting w/ the doctor... We want to remind him that it's AEG not Michael Jackson who's paying his salary We want him to understand what is expected of him. He has been dodging Frank so far

Payne said his understanding was that AEG was paying Dr. Murray's salary not Michael. The doctor was there to oversee many things, Payne said. Payne explained he didn't have much reason to question Dr. Murray since he thought that a doctor selected to work with Michael was top notch.
Bina asked Payne whether he ever met Conrad Murray. The choreographer says he met Murray twice. Payne says the first time he met Dr. Murray was at the Carolwood house.

"I was going up the steps, Dr. Murray going downstairs, Michael introduced us."

Payne was coming up from the basement to the middle floor. Studio was at the basement. Payne said he never went to the top floor of the house. He says the second time was at the Staples Center, after a rehearsal and Jackson was leaving for the day. Both meetings were brief.
When asked how Michael performed on June 23 & 24:

"He was having his process, I didn't expect him to be like he would in front of a crowd," Payne explained. "He was not at show standards ... I didn't expect him to be as he would be in front of a crowd."
Payne: "It ebbed and flowed. Some days were good, some days were not as good."

The last two days were good.

"I thought he was in his way to the goals he set himself," Payne told the jury.

He didn't have any question that MJ would be able to perform , adding that he and others were impressed while watching Jackson rehearse at Staples Center on June 23/24, 2009.
Payne described the day MJ died: He was headed to rehearsal at Michael's home, got a call from his mother who said she saw reports on the news. Payne heard news on the radio, called Staples Center spoke to Stacy Walker, she said they were rehearsing. He was told to go to Staples.

"We were optimistic of his arrival," Payne said explaining they were expecting Michael to rehearse at the Staples Center.

Payne said Ortega got a series of calls. He remembers Kenny saying:

'tell me something that will make me know it's you and that this is true'

​

" I remember him (Kenny Ortega) collapsing in his seat and crying," Payne testified

Payne said he never saw Michael drink alcohol or take medication but

"Sometimes, in rehearsal, Michael would appear just a little loopy, under the influence of something, but mostly when he would come to the rehearsals from the dermatologist," Payne testified.

That happened two to four times in the weeks before his death, he said. Payne told that he didn't think Jackson had a problem with prescription drugs

"Michael was undergoing personal cosmetic procedures, so he could feel great and do a good job," Payne said.

Payne also said he appeared groggy in the morning sometimes, which he attributed to lack of sleep

"Mr. Jackson just explained to me that he had trouble sleeping, that he was tired, and that satisfied me," Payne testified.

He stated that he's not sure how much weight MJ had lost
Payne mentioned one day in particular at a meeting with Andre Crouch and singers, MJ seemed a little out of it
Payne said at one point, he & others tried to bring in a top physical therapist who works with Olympic athletes to help Michael. Jackson didn't work w/physical therapist flown in for him.

"At the last minute we realized that Michael was not going to go through with it. He was just not comfortable with the invasion of personal space."

Bina played a clip of This Is It from Jun 4 showing the green screen and making of "Drill" and Michael talking about the cool moves, dancing. Payne said the idea was to show the rehearsals and how things came together. The footage itself wasn't altered, but there was editing. Payne said they picked the best of the rehearsal to include in the documentary. He wanted to reshoot some scenes but was not allowed. Payne, who was an associate producer on the This Is It documentary, said the footage of Jackson had not been retouched or altered.
Jackson cross
Attorney Brian Panish cross examined Payne. He asked if Michael ever performed the entire show from beginning to end. Payne said "No"

"Was he ready to perform for an audience?", Panish asked.
"I thought he was on his way to the goals he had set for himself," Payne answered. "All I saw was improvement and getting closer to the goals"

Payne's impression was that MJ loved being a father. He said he saw the beauty of their relationships, loyalty to one another.

"When we rehearsed, we had meals together," Payne recalled, talking about Michael and all three children.

Payne thought the relationship between MJ and Prince was awesome, Michael was a proud father, great to see how they interacted. Prince wanted to be a director, Michael would point out things to him during rehearsal should that be his career, Payne remembered.
As to Paris Jackson, Payne said he saw a very protective young lady, smart, astute, with knowledge of the production, very hands on. Paris, who was 11 at the time, was

"a very retentive young lady who was very, very smart, very astute," Payne testified. "She had full knowledge of the day-to-day operations, from the time of lunch and what it was going to be, she was hands on -- far beyond her age," he said. "She had a lot of responsibility, which I think she welcomed"

Payne said she was "the female of the house," and also "a daddy's girl."

"She really loved her father," he said. "At that time, she was coming to find out his global successes and presence, so she would wear her Michael Jackson t-shirt, headband and bag," he said.

It was Paris who would bless the food when they were have lunch with their father at home, he said.

"She was always the most vocal of the three children and was very concerned about many of the details of the house, was the temperature correct, what do you want to eat," Payne testified. "She just handled a lot for her young age"

Blanket, who was 7 when his father died, was the most quiet of the three. He liked to watch his father rehearsing his dances with Payne in the basement studio of their home, Payne said.

"He was quiet, but always right there with his dad," he said.

Michael guided and mentored him. Payne said he would be proud if MJ was his father and agreed the children suffered a tremendous loss. When rehearsing with Jackson at his Holmby Hills residence, Payne said the singer clearly delighted in being a father and shared meals with all three

"I saw the beauty of their relationships. I saw their loyalty to their father, I saw his loyalty to them. Their father enlightened them and taught them", he testified. "I was very proud to see Michael as such a loving father."
Panish: "Was Paris a Daddy's girl?"
Payne: "Yes, I believe so"

His description of the close relationship Paris (15) and Prince (16) had with their father four years ago could foreshadow the significance of the children's testimony later in the trial.
Payne always carries a video camera with him and shot videos of rehearsal. AEG took the footage that Payne shot and never returned to him. Email from Randy to Paul:

"Make sure you take out the shots of Michael in that red jacket... He looks way too thin and skeletal."

Payne said he was not aware of the email. He said Michael looked thin, but not skeletal. He doesn't know if Paul/Randy took any the footage out. The email was not displayed for the jury
As for Michael's relationship with Katherine, Payne said

"there's no secret that he loved his mother very much. It is kind of common knowledge"

​

"Karen Faye is a make up artist. She designed the make up, was always there when Michael was there", Payne testified.

Payne said Faye and MJ had a long term working relationship. They spent a lot of personal time together. Faye was concerned and frustrated with how Michael looked. She went to Payne kind of in an aggressive way. Payne told her to report to Ortega.
Payne said he wanted MJ to have a physical therapist, nutritionist, massage therapist, and have his family around. He said this was a different scenario.

"This was the first time MJ was working with AEG," Payne testified, saying he had always been hired by MJJ production before.

Payne said this was the first time Michael was not the sole producer of the show. Payne started working without a signed contract. He was being paid by AEG. Panish showed Payne's written contract. It is between Payne and AEG, beginning April 1, 2009. The contract said only AEG could cancel it. He testified that there was a delay in his contract with AEG because the salary was not in line with his standard charges, but that things worked out after he had a conversation with Jackson. Payne also said he believed AEG was paying Murray's salary, not Jackson
Payne was hired and paid by AEG. His contract was with AEG.

Panish: "Who could fire you. AEG?"
Payne: "I'm sure"

Things became heated when Panish inquired about a text message Karen Faye sent to Payne that accused him of lying to the media after Michael's death. He said earlier Faye had approached him in an "aggressive" way about her concern for Jackson's health but he told her to take her concerns to Ortega.

"I do not remember receiving a text message from Karen Faye asking why I was lying to the media," Payne explained.
Panish: "Were you upset when MJ died?"
Payne: "Yes"

During cross-examination, Payne was shown several photos of premieres for the This Is It documentary .Panish shows a picture of Payne at the red carpet premiere. He agreed he was happy about the premiere. In one, Ortega & AEG executive Randy Phillips flank Jackson's manager, Frank DiLeo, who has a cigar hanging out of his mouth. All three are grinning. Brian Panish, the attorney for Jackson's family, remarked that everyone looked pretty happy
Payne said he wasn't privy to details of what was expected of Dr. Murray. AEG was producepromoter, but MJ was the star, had to be happy
Panish reminded Payne that he had testified in his deposition that AEG was

"trying to protect its investment"

​

"I don't have a dog in this race so I'm not on either side", an aggravated Payne countered adding that he felt Panish was being aggressive. "I'm just saying I don't want to be painted as somebody who's trying to mask anything".

After several hours of testy exchanges with Panish, his voice quivered and he dabbed his eyes with a tissue.

"I'm just trying to have a conversation with you and tell the truth."

Panish asked Payne if defendants' attorney approached him during lunch to show him some documents. He said yes, he saw parts of his deposition
Under cross examination, Payne acknowledged that some of Jackson's behavior, including grogginess, lethargy, insomnia and occasional paranoia, were possible symptoms of prescription drug abuse. He also said that despite testifying earlier that he worked with Jackson one-on-one five days a week, he couldn't recall how many rehearsals the singer actually attended
Panish after lunch break got Travis Payne to concede Jackson wasn't present for a May 19, 2009 rehearsal. Payne also conceded that Jackson was a no-show for a June 22, 2009 rehearsal. Panish confronted Payne saying that yesterday he said he was with MJ at a dance studio on May 19, that they were up on their feet & danced.

Panish: "Sir, Michael was not with you May 19, 2009, was he?"
Payne: "No"
Panish: "He was at the doctor"
Payne: "If you're saying, I'm not disputing"

Panish said that on May 19, Michael was having a cyst removed at Dr. Klein's office, so he could not have been rehearsing with Payne.
Panish then said on Jun 22 MJ wasn't there either, "was he?"
Payne said he didn't know.
Panish said MJ was at another doctor's office
Payne said he may have made a mistake about Jackson's whereabouts & he didn't know his personal schedule. Travis Payne had testified yesterday that he and Jackson ran through certain songs on May 19th. He said today he was testifying based on the schedule and notes he compiled and that his recollection might be wrong

"We're human, sometimes we make mistakes," Payne explained, saying he's not disputing that Michael was or wasn't there on those dates.

Payne said there was always something for Michael to do.

"He needed to come to rehearsal, it was part of the job"

Payne said Michael had a hard time picking up some of the material. He was having trouble learning dances, Payne says. Email from Ortega to Gongaware:

"He has been slow at grabbing hold of the work"

Jackson was having trouble learning dances, choreographer Travis Payne says

"Prior to June, I noticed Mr. Jackson was thinner than I recognized him," Payne said, noting he never saw sudden weight change in MJ.

Second time Payne saw Dr. Murray was the night before Michael died at Staples Center.

"I wanted Michael to go home and go to sleep" Payne recalls. Payne said something about Murray felt off, Payne said. "He didn't feel like an official doctor"

Payne knew MJ had sleeping problems and that Dr. Murray was treating him for that. Ortega also knew; Payne thought Gongaware was aware too. Payne also said he and Ortega knew that Jackson was having sleep problems. Attorney Brian Panish asks if AEG executives knew. There were several objections, and Payne was only allowed to answer "No" as to whether Paul Gongaware knew about Michael's sleep problems
Panish asked Payne about choosing Jackson's dancers for This Is It. Payne says they were whittled down from 5,000 applicants. Applicants submitted video clips and their submissions were used to cull down potential dancers from there. Payne said they received 5,000 applications for dancers, about 2,500 showed up for the audition.He taught them some dance moves, and the pool was further narrowed down. Michael chose the dancers
Panish then asked Payne whether he knew how many doctors AEG interviewed to work with Jackson on This Is It. "No", Payne says. Payne also says he isn't aware how much interviewing or investigation into Murray that AEG did.(Panish's point appears to be that there was more scrutiny of backup dancers than Conrad Murray)
During preparations for This Is It, Michael at times seemed "under the influence of something" and once couldn't take the stage because he appeared incoherent, Payne testified.
Payne said he was aware that Jackson had problems sleeping and chalked up the singer's sometimes erratic behavior to sleep aids or sedatives from his dermatologist visits.

"You have to understand that one always says hindsight is 20/20. In the moment I had no inkling of what, ultimately, what was revealed until Mr. Jackson's passing", he said

Payne saw Michael tired and fatigued. He agreed that those symptoms could be signs of drug addiction. Payne was aware that MJ was losing weight during rehearsals and he had not seeing him lose weight like that before.

"He was not in great physical shape and was sore,working up his stamina. Lack of sleep and proper nourishment were starting to show", Payne said.

Payne says at one point, he told Kenny Ortega that Jackson appeared "assisted" (meaning that he thought he was on drugs\meds)
Payne said some people were concerned about the goals not being met, including Randy Phillips and Paul Gongaware. Payne learned what Demerol was after MJ died. He also remembers a mention of Demerol in the song "Morphine".
Panish asked if MJ knew the lyrics of his songs.

"I think he did, he knew most of them, but he wanted to have a Teleprompter for safety.He didn't want to make any mistakes, to refresh his memory. Also to use for sequence of songs",Payne said.

Payne agreed that it was very unusual for Michael to have a Teleprompter with the lyrics of his own songs. He never used it before. Payne didn't specify which songs Jackson wanted the teleprompter for
Payne said a body double was requested for Michael. Misha Gabriel was his body double, but shorter than him. Some of the scenes in the documentary are with the body double, Payne testified. Payne remembers at the Culver Studios in Smooth Criminal there was a stunt and Misha was asked to jump through a glass plate
Payne said most the time, MJ was present at rehearsals. "It wasn't a big deal," he expressed
Panish showed an email from the band leader Michael Bearden:

"Michael is not in shape enough yet to sing this stuff live and dance at the same time. He can use the ballads to sing live and get his stamina back up, Once he's healthy enough and has more strength I Have full confidence he can sing the majority of the show live. His voice sounds amazing right now, he needs to build it back up. I still need all big dance numbers to be in the system so we can concentrate on choreography."

Payne was aware that AEG was considering in mid June pulling the plug on the show. He said Michael looked exhausted & paranoid on Jun 19. Jackson's condition and missed rehearsals led to talk within the last 10 days of Jackson's life that AEG Live LLC, which was promoting "This Is It," might cancel the concert series.

"It was 'We've got to get this together or the plug may be pulled,'" Payne says

Payne was working for AEG and said he relayed his concerns about Jackson's possible prescription drug use and that he was exhibiting troubling signs of insomnia, weight loss and paranoia in his final days to tour director Kenny Ortega. Jackson was struggling to get into shape for the shows, and Payne said his voice coach suggested using a voice track for fast-paced songs until the singer's stamina improved.
Payne went to Michael's house on June 20. He was cold and had to light the fireplace and rub his hand and feet to warm himself up
Panish showed a picture of Michael on June 24 rehearsing "Thriller"; Payne said MJ improved but was not at his best yet.

Panish: "Around June 20, was Ortega in the mindset that Michael Jackson was not ready for this?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said Michael was not ready, it was not the Michael he knew. He died four days later. But he didn't see anything that alarmed him on June 23/24

Panish:" Did you see that Michael was getting pressured to get everything done in the last days?" Payne: "Yes"

Payne said he could sense something was wrong, but didn't know what it was. He said Jackson's performances in the final days of his life were impressive, and it felt

"like we were definitely on an upswing"

​

"I never doubted Michael because he was the architect of this and he wanted to do it, so part of my responsibility was to help him get there", Payne said, his voice racked with emotion.

Panish ended his direct examination of choreographer Travis Payne with three questions.

Panish: "Did you see that Michael Jackson appeared to be pressured to get everything done at the Staples last rehearsals?"
"Yes," Payne said
Panish: "The pressure about the shows started to manifest itself physically in Michael Jackson?"
"Yes," Payne replied.
Panish:" You could sense that something was wrong, you just didn't know what it was?"
Payne responded "Yes."

AEG re-direct
Payne's demeanor changed after Panish finished questioning him. He was holding back tears when the AEG attorney started re-direct examination. For the next several moments, Payne blinked and dabbed both eyes with a tissue. It was the first time he'd gotten emotional on the stand.

Bina in re-direct asked: "Do you think you could get him there?"
Payne: "Absolutely!"

Bina asked Payne again about how many rehearsals Jackson attended. Payne said MJ was present a significant amount of the days he was scheduled to work but he couldn't recall dates, precisely how many that Jackson attended.
As to Gongaware's email regarding what was expected of Dr. Murray, Payne said the inconsistencies with Michael missing rehearsals warrant a talk. Payne said he thought Dr. Murray was there to care for his patient, making sure right nutritionist was there, to get him ready for the show. Payne never discussed with MJ about his doctors or personal affairs. Payne and Faye were professionals with each other, but not friends.

"Production felt he wasn't coming to rehearsals enough, and that was frustrating to some of the staff," Payne testified. "I had a concern we needed to create a show Michael would enjoy doing it," Payne explained

She also showed Payne photos from the This Is It premiere. First photo is of Payne shaking Jermaine Jackson's hand at the movie premiere. Bina also showed another image of smiling Jermaine, Tito, Jackie and Marlon with Payne at the premiere. Payne cried saying he had been through so much and the rough part was behind them. He was pleased to show the fans what the show was to be.
Jackson re-cross
In re-cross, Panish notes that none of Michael's brothers are part of this lawsuit.
Panish then asked Payne whether Katherine Jackson and Michael's kids went to the premiere. Panish says Katherine Jackson & her grandchildren didn't go to the premiere because they weren't over Jackson's death. Payne said he didn't think anyone was over Jackson's death when the film premiered in late 2009.
Court Transcript

Sneaking into supposedly haunted building late at night always sounded like a laugh, but I don't think so anymore.
​
My town has this old mill. There used to be a lot of farmland around here, and the mill was practically the lifeblood of the town. You wouldn't know it to look at the place now. The soil surrounding us for a good couple of miles out is dry as bone with nothing growing out of it, and the mill looks like it's falling apart. Which apparently it has been since even before it closed down a few decades ago since a series of accidents is said to have been what finally pulled the plug on the old place—accidents where people died.
​
Which is where all the ghost stories come from, which in turn are what led to my late-night venture into a building that looked like it would fall on top of me any moment if I brushed the wrong bit of wall. It was dumb, and the one or two friends I'd told of my plan thought I was going to get myself killed. In hindsight, they were right. But then, hindsight is 20/20, right?
​
The door was easy enough to force. I had the torch function on my mobile phone switched on, and I saw that the wooden door was barely there anymore. Once it was open, I was hit by a cloud of dust so thick that I nearly choked on it. I couldn't believe I was the first one to try exploring the mill since it closed down, but that's what the air was telling me as I stepped inside.
​
Most of it was wood just like the outside. Decades-old wooden pillars held up the ceiling, above which had to be more machinery like what I saw in this downstairs room. I won't pretend to know what any of it does, but it was rusted with age and far past its ability to perform its function. It looked heavy, though, and I immediately feared the prospect of the ceiling crashing down upon me. But, I reasoned, if it were going to do that, this place would have collapsed years ago, wouldn't it?
​
The thought calmed me slightly but not much. After all, it would have to fall eventually.
​
I was about to climb the stairs, satisfied that nothing was left to see on the ground floor, when the whisper reached me.
​
"Help."
​
I spun around, startled, to see absolutely nobody. The room was still as empty as it had been when I broke the door open. My heart raced in my chest from the start the voice had given me. "Is that someone mucking about?" I asked.
​
There was no answer.
​
I took some slow, deep breaths to calm myself down. Just my mind playing tricks on me, I thought. This place being spooky is the whole reason you came here.
​
Satisfied that I was alone and that the voice had been nothing more than an illusion produced by my own mind's reaction to the darkness around me, I continued on up the stairs. Each one creaked as I planted a foot upon it, and I had visions of the flimsy wood breaking beneath my weight. At least I wouldn't have far to fall.
​
I was right about there being more machinery on the floor above, although I still couldn't tell you what any of it was for. Well, I knew logically that it was for the process of making grain, but you know what I mean. I pointed the torch at it and saw that it was just as rusty as what was downstairs. I sighed. Nothing here but rust and dust. Not that I was expecting to find any ghosts or anything, but I was hoping for something marginally more interesting than old machinery and drifting flakes of crumbling wood.
​
One of the shadows to my left moved, and I bloody near toppled onto my ass, yelling.
​
My heart hammered away its rhythm at a quickened pace, and I pointed my light toward the area of the movement. Nothing. Just more old wood.
​
I was alone, but I was certain that something had moved in here.
​
"First your ears, now your eyes," I said to myself shakily, trying to make a joke of it. "This dark's making you lose your marbles. You're the only one here."
​
Only ... I found that I didn't believe that anymore.
​
I can't tell you what it was, but I just had an overwhelming feeling that I was no longer alone. I felt like a deer in a clearing who's just begun to suspect a tiger is watching me from the bushes. I could feel my legs tensing, preparing myself to run for the stairs.
​
I stood there for what felt like an hour but was in actuality only a couple of minutes. I breathed to calm myself down again and decided that I really wasn't in the right headspace for this. I was too nervous. Too ... scared. Prey instincts I didn't even know I had were kicking in, and that couldn't be healthy. I decided to leave.
​
I walked down the stairs, each step toward the front door coming as a relief.
​
Then I saw it.
​
A door. A door I knew hadn't been there when I'd entered the building. I remember sweeping my torch all over the room, and at no point had I seen that door in its light.
​
"Down here. Help."
​
It was the same voice as before, whispering in my ear so closely that I should have felt their breath on my lobe. But I felt nothing of the sort. A chill ran up my spine. Fuck this, I thought, and turned to charge at the exit.
​
It was gone.
​
Where once there was the front door, which I had broken open to gain entry in the first place, there was now only more wooden wall.
​
I could bring myself to do nothing but stand and stare for a few minutes. It wasn't possible. The door was there, I knew it was! How could it be gone? What was happening? A scream of primal fear ripped its way out of my throat, and I charged at the wooden wall. The wood was flimsy-looking and rotted and should have broken easily, but with every punch I succeeded only in making my fists ache, and with every kick all I made was noise. Noise which reached nobody but myself.
​
Tears of terror and frustration ran down my cheeks in rivers, and I bit my hand to keep from loudly sobbing. I was trapped.
​
My legs buckled beneath me as the truth of my situation finally became clear, and I sat on the dusty wooden floors, my back against the infuriatingly sturdy wooden wall, and I held my head in my hand. What do I do?
​
I must have sat there for hours.
​
The sun didn't rise. No light peaked in through the gaps between the wood planks.
​
"Help," the voice came again. This time it was no whisper, but a call from beyond the new door. "Down here. Help."
​
Well ... what else could I do but listen?
​
I stood up on shaky legs, bracing myself against the wall until I was sure I could stand unaided. Then I made my way over to the new door and gently pushed it open. It made a long, high-pitched creaking noise as it opened to reveal a second staircase—one that led down.
​
I didn't want to go down. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. My only other option was to sit and wait for something to happen, and I thought that might drive me mad.
​
I went down the stairs.
​
Unlike the ones upstairs, these steps didn't creak as I stepped on them. In fact, my footfalls made no sound at all, which if anything was even more unsettling.
​
Yet that was not the most terrifying part. The part that scared me most, the part that got my heart racing so badly that I thought it'd beat its way right out of my chest, was the way the stairs just didn't end.
​
I must have been walking down them for a good ten minutes before the thought occurred to me. My first instinct was to run around and run back up, but somehow I knew that if I did that, I would be running up forever just as I'd be walking down forever. Maybe I was wrong, but I don't think I was.
​
"Keep going," the voice said, whispering from right by my ear once again. "Come down."
​
I could see it now, whatever was speaking to me. Only not really. I didn't see what it looked like, but I saw it there, out of the corner of my eye, walking right next to me on the stairs somehow without ever touching me. Just a dark shape that only superficially resembled a human body—and too many eyes to count, all of them glowing a dull yellow, each one blinking periodically. Its entire body covered in them.
​
I sped up my descent down the stairs. I knew I wouldn't find an end, but I had to get away from whatever it was that was with me. That deeply-buried prey instinct rose in me again, this time to the point of damn near screaming at me to run, run away because the predator was here.
​
But I couldn't get away.
​
No matter how much I picked up speed, it was always there, right by me.
​
"Yes, yes!" it cried in pleasure. There was a sort of slurping sound. "Just like that! Such delicious terror!"
​
I screamed.
​
It laughed.
​
And suddenly, I understood.
​
It was eating me, not in body but in soul. With every second of fear, I could feel myself growing weaker. I felt thinner, less substantial. At some point, I knew, I would stop existing.
​
​
I was scared, and that only fed it more of me.
​
But then I realised something else: there were no walls around the staircase. Just a great expanse of darkness beyond the splintered wooden bannisters on either side.
​
I had a way out.
​
I stopped running down the stairs, turned, and gripped the bannister. Without so much as thinking about the height, I launched myself over the edge.
​
There was a roar of pure rage loud enough to still be ringing in my eardrums now.
​
Then a blinding light.
​
It was the sun.
​
I sat up, and I was outside the mill again. The warmth of the sun felt glorious, and I've never been happier to find myself lying in the grass where all the bugs could crawl all over me.
​
I think I know why the land around our town died.
​
I'm moving soon. I've told everyone else they should do the same, but they aren't listening to me. I hope they come to their senses before it's too late.
​
Because whatever is living in the mill is hungry.
​
How long will it take to leave its habitat and feast properly?
​
I can already hear that voice again.

It is a man, old and scraggy. He wears a jacket that lays over the red plaid button shirt and blue jeans. He wears an old baseball cap and a pair of glasses. He yelled something to Dad, holding his hands up like he was pleading, although we couldn’t hear it over the truck engine. They talked, but we couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Hey, what are they saying”, I asked, while petting Matt’s hair, calming him. The old man then put his hands down and came close to Dad in a cautious way. They seem to start having some kind of conversation.
“I don’t really know, hopefully, something good”, Mom answered. They talked for a little while, with daylight beginning to disappear, giving us a sense of dread, and making me more worried about what weird creature was going to show up. Eventually, the old man turned and pointed toward what I think is the northeast. They then shook hands and walked back to their respective vehicles. “What’s going on”, Mom asked as Dad got into the truck.
“Well, our new friend here invited us to dinner at his farm”, Dad replied.
“Does he have supplies?”
“Well, he says has supplies for us to make the journey.”
“Should we even trust him? We just met h-”
“Relax, he’s just an old man, living alone at his farm, feeding his cows. What could go wrong”, Dad countered. The old man then entered the truck that was running and drove slowly, expecting us to follow him.
“Alrighty then, but we have to be cautious”, Mom said, with her suspicions of the old man. We then followed the old truck along the dark, frozen road. It just feels like something is going to show up along the road, but nothing happened. Matt did eventually stop crying, but he is still upset about the Joe escape thing.
“Where are we going”, Matt lamented, with the prior series of events in mind.
“I guess somebody is offering us dinner”, I answered.
“Why can’t we just go home?”
“It’s only going to be a stop, like a hotel. After that, we go to our new home, I guess”, I said, taking another look at Matt and cradling to comfort him. “It’s going to be okay.” I stared out into the darkness. I looked to the sky from the window and I faintly saw something in the clear, dark sky, lit up by the waning moon. They were brilliant, green auroras that defy the bright moon, dancing across the sky like ribbons in the wind. The truck eventually took a right-hand turn into another road, with us following suit. I can see a bright, orange light emerging from a patch of tree. When we passed by, it seemed it was a house, at a farm, burning in a massive flame.
“I guess those people aren’t so, uh, lucky”, Dad said, taking a quick look at it before looking at the road. Passing by, we went on and continued to follow the old man’s truck. We passed onto another intersection until he turned into a driveway to what I believe to be his farm. Going into the driveway, I can see an old house, along with a dilapidated farm further away, barely visible by the headlights. The old man parked by the house, where there were a few other trucks there. We parked alongside the truck and we got out into the cold, near-silent night.
“Welcome to sanctuary, where all are welcome”, the old man bellowed. This is the first time I’ve heard his voice. Matt was the last to get out of the truck, slowly and clumsily climbing out of the truck.
“What’s your name”, my Mom politely asked the old man.
“Oh, I guess your husband didn’t tell ya. My name is Steven, but you can call me Steve”, the old man said, with some crackling in his voice. “I am very proud to host a dinner for you and your family”, he continued. “What’s your name, ma’am?”
“Oh, my name is Janice”, Mom replied, quite pleased at his politeness.
“Hello, Janice, and what are their names”, Steven asked, pointing to me and Matt.
“That’s my daughter Kate and my son Matt”, Dad said to Mom.
“Oh, what wonderful names for a couple of beautiful children you have”, Steve grinned. “Come, it is dangerous out here.” We followed him to the house, which looked like it had seen better days. He entered through the double-set door, the first a solid door and a screen door behind. Entering the house, it smelled like what you’d expect, old man. Looking onto the floor is made of glossy wood and walls with cracks, likely caused by the earthquake. It is dark in there, lit by candlelight from many candles, yet it’s fairly warm here. I don’t know why we went into the house, but Dad was right, Steve is just a lonely, old man. Matter of fact, there seems to be nothing wrong here, other than the cracks in the walls. “Sorry, the power went out. Had to resort to the candles. I knew my wife would come in handy”, Steve explained as he took his coat off. “Oh, supper will be ready right away. Had to use the fireplace to cook. Also, can you take your boots off?” We took our boots and set them aside. We went into what seemed to be a living room, with dusty old-style furniture.
“So, where do we sit”, Mom asked.
“Oh, well, follow me”, Steve commanded, leading us to the dining room, with a long, wooden table and six wooden chairs, along with their corresponding old-fashioned plates, glasses and cutlery, lit up in the candlelight. We noticed that everything on the table was covered in a thin veil of dust. “My apologies, the recent shocks dropped a bit of dust on the table”, he explained as he noticed us looking at the plates and moved into another room nearby. “Take your seats if you like.” We all settled onto the chairs, and blew off our plates of the dust settled there.
“When will we eat”, Matt impatiently said.
“Once Steve comes out with the food”, Mom answered. Matt sat there with a tired look on his face. Dad seemed to be in a better mood than before and it looked like he wanted to start a conversation.
“Hey, should we talk about something”, Dad asked. I then see Steve with a bowl and a silver plate.
“Here we go, may not be much, but at least it’ll fulfil the soul”, Steve said, smiling when he served us mashed potatoes and meatloaf. “So, shall we pray?” That came unexpectedly, as we are not too religious, but we were in his house and gave us shelter and food.
“Sure, we can do that”, Mom said and we all bowed our heads and put our hands together. Steve cleared his throat
“Thank you, Lord, for this good food to feed the soul in these hard times. I shall pray, in the name of the Lord and Jesus Christ, that these hard times shall be over, so we can get on with our lives. Amen.” We raised our heads and grabbed whatever food there was onto our plates. “Oh, there’s no gravy, so we have to deal with bare potaters and meatloaf.”
“Oh, not to worry. Thank you for the food”, Dad thanked Steve. We began to eat the food once we got it sorted.
“So, what brings you here”, Steve asked.
“Well, there is an evacuation order in effect for this area, so we had to go to Regina”, Dad explained, with Steve taking in every word. “So, we came from Strasbourg, we tried going south towards Regina, but we hit an obstacle in the way and we had to take another route, leading us here.”
“And we encountered a few odd things along the way”, Mom added.
“Huh, interesting. What do you guys think is going on”, Steve inquired.
“By the things we saw, we have no idea. Dinosaurs, devil dogs, hell pigs, the whole deal. I shouldn’t forget the earthquake. They told us a pipeline leak caused by the earthquake”, Dad clarified to Steve.
“Hmm… is that so”, Steve wondered. “Wonder what I think is happening? The Rapture is happening. Do you know how the Bible tells us of the end times? Good people sent to be with God and his kingdom, the rest here to suffer the Hell unleashed by Satan.” By this point, he was beginning to rant, but we couldn't stop it as we all began to feel tired and powerless. “So, the Devil will send his demons in the form of these illusions so that they can torment the sinners. It is happening, it is-” Steve manically continued as I drew towards blackness and his voice becoming less coherent. My vision is now all black.
I saw those same lights, but more rapidly than before. I then emerged onto the same clear sky, but something felt different. I can smell something in the air. I can smell what seems to be chemicals in the air. Looking down, I was terrified. Dark, grey rock in the shape of ropes and folds, similar to those I saw of lava flows on a volcano in pictures. This went on as far as the eye could see. I can see no tree this time, just the cooled lava everywhere. I then walked, feeling every bump and crag. I thought I walked forever until I heard a rumbling sound and woke up.
I am in total darkness. It is cold and it smells like cow manure. I tried to move my hand, but it seemed to be bonded behind my back by a rope. I tried to move my feet, but they were also bound by rope to the legs I tried to speak, only to realise my mouth was agape by a cloth in my mouth. I heard shuffling nearby but I could not see. It was then shone in light when Steve entered the door, holding a candle, revealing all of us in the same situation. I then can see what we are in. We are in that same wooden dilapidated barn we saw earlier and seems to be more damaged than the house, wood creaking can be heard.
“These sedatives are more effective than I thought. Maybe I should use them more often”, Steve smoothly explained, like he’s some kind of agent and began pacing. “Wonder why you are here? Well, I wondered the same thing to myself, why didn’t God take me to his heaven? When I first heard of the government telling us of those evacuation plans, I thought it was that, a leaking pipe. I began to notice things I couldn’t believe myself, at least at first. Earthquakes, weird creatures showing up, people disappearing, the whole spiel. I connected the dots. The Rapture is happening, for sure, but why me? Why was I the one left here on this Earth”, Steve calmly ranted, pacing around the barn, but it seemed to sound crazier and angrier the more he paced. “I thought I had lost my way. I’ve been unfaithful to God and his son. But, I realised that God always has a plan and he left me on this Earth to serve a purpose. I wondered what my purpose was until I had a moment.” He then stopped in place and calmed down. He turned to look at Mom with accusing yet crazed eyes.
“I’m supposed to keep the sinners here in line, to earn a place in God’s kingdom, or suffer in Hell. I know you are a sweet woman, Janice, but your treachery with Satan is over and I am going to do what’s right.” Mom then looked at all of us, with assuring eyes like that of an innocent yet caring mother we all know knew. I began crying and trying to speak through the cloth, but I was helpless to watch by. “Forgive me, Father, for what I am going to do.” He then pulled a knife from his pocket and plunged it into Mom’s neck with no mercy. I looked away once he did that, trembling, with tears pouring out and my vision glazed and I fell limp. I could see my brother tearing up, but he did not look away. I can hear Dad behind me, with his screams of agony and anger covered by the cloth. It felt like I was in slow motion, taking in every moment.
I then heard the chair, screeching as Steve dragged the chair containing Mom’s lifeless body towards the door, leaving behind a trail of blood. I couldn’t bear to see my mother like this. I shut my eyes very hard and hoped it would go away. The door then shut, leaving us alone with a candle, fearing what would come next. I stared at the candle, seeing it dance in the flames like a woman dancing in the darkness. Is this how it’ll end, I thought. End up dying to this sick man? My Mom was killed in front of me. I sobbed with that thought, then I began to think about the inevitable death of me. I hope there’s something after I die. Maybe I’ll see Mom again.
It was silent for a while, nearly no sound other than our moans. Dad seems to be fidgeting at the back of his chair, rocking it slowly. Looking past him, I shuddered at the glistening pool of blood, where Mom was last alive, could be my fate. I then see Dad release his arms from the back of the chair and remove the cloth from his mouth. He silently stood up and bent down to untie his legs from the chair legs. He then went to me and removed my cloth.
“H-h-how did you do that”, I silently wept, fearing that Steve would show up at the door and kill us all.
“My binding is loose. The old man probably took a liking to me”, Dad whispered. “I should remove your binds.” He untied them, releasing me, doing the same for Matt. “Now, we need to be quiet.” We then walked, quietly, along the painfully creaking wood in the near dark, following the blood trail, glistening in the candlelight. We cringed and dreaded each sound we made and watched the door in case it began to creak open. A few silent steps later, we made it to the door and we slowly opened it so as not to make any noise. What was revealed to us is nothing new, other than the blood trail continuing in the snow directing towards the back of the barn. “Okay, Kate, Matt, you guys run to the truck.”
“What about you”, I sobbed.
“Don’t worry about me”, Dad responded, giving me his keys and forcing them into my hand. “If I’m not back in a few minutes, leave. Don’t look back, take care of your brother, okay? I love you, no matter what happens.” He then kissed me on the head and ran to follow the blood trail. We quickly walked towards the black truck, stranded there for maybe hours. Getting closer, freedom is getting closer. When we got to a fair distance to the truck, I heard footsteps behind me and, the next thing I knew, I was knocked over to the ground into the hard snow on my face. A hand turned me over to give me a glimpse of a crazed Steve, his eyes wilder than before.
“Oh, yes, trying to escape”, he bragged. I looked at him, frozen in fear, like a deer in headlights and he caressed my face with his bloodied blade. “You do have a pretty face, but I’m afraid you are just one of Satan's creations, made to pull me to lust.” He then raised his knife in the air when a familiar side emerged, out of the blue.
Joe came and bit him in the arm that was holding the knife. Steve screamed in agony the moment he realised what happened. He shook Joe off and stood up to stand his ground. I stood up as Joe hissed and walked around the crazed being he wounded, not in fear but in aggressiveness. “Is this one of your pets, demon”, Steve screamed as Joe came in for another attack, but Steve countered that with a slash to the snout. Joe then ran away, whining, into the darkness. This sequence of events gave me the chance to enter the truck on the driver’s side. I had some trouble starting it, besides this is my first time driving a truck.
Steve menacelily walked towards the when Dad came barreling and tackled him to the ground. Dad was on top when he went limp. I finally put the keys in the engine turned it on and backed out, with memory serving me the instructions on such a vehicle. Steve pushed Dad’s body and stood up, but by that time, we left the farm.
“Turn back, we have to get Dad”, Matt cried, but I was very emotional, accepting what happened. I felt that, without my parents, I feel… useless.
“Dad’s dead”, I screamed at Matt and he began gagging uncontrollably in tears. I began to feel sorry for him. “Sorry, I, I don’t know.”
“It’s okay”, Matt sniffled. “I guess Mom and Dad are dead anyways.” It was silence for a few more minutes, tears welling in our eyes.
“Hey, our parents are in a better place”, I said, trying to make the situation positive.
“But we are stuck here, without them? Don’t we deserve to go to a better place?”
“Don’t say that”, I huffed and I paused for a bit. “I know we are in the, uh, right place now. Let me tell you something, once we get to Regina, I will take care of you, no matter what life throws at us.”
“What about Joe”, Matt asked.
“He’ll be fine. He probably found his girlfriend already.”
“Hey, don’t you have a boyfriend?”
“I, uh, I don’t have one. That I know of”, I spoke, bringing me back to Sam, remembering that she’s the only friend that I ever knew, and I left her. Without her, I felt alone, no one would ever relate. I began to tear up. “I don’t have any friends. I am alone,” I sobbed.
“What do you mean? I’m your brother!” I looked at Matt, and smiled, happy that he acknowledged that we were in this together.
“Thank you”, I thanked him. I slowly stopped on the road, just to hug Matt hard, crying my eyes out. We then heard what sounded like an elephant in front of us. We looked up to see a walking snow-covered brown fur wall with four pillar-like legs in front of us. Its curved tusks gleaned in the light and the eyes reflected in the light. The furry trunk waved around like a searching snake from a tree. We both knew what it was.
“Hey, look at that, a woolly mammoth”, Matt said, excitement running through him. At this point, we weren’t surprised.
“Yep, that is a woolly mammoth”, I added. The mammoth turned to us on the road, seemingly confused about where it was. It looked at our truck and seemed to growl, like an elephant. We are starting to realise this thing is becoming aggressive.
“Uh, should we move”, Matt asked. I remembered hearing something about standing your ground in case of an encounter with an elephant. I hoped it would work for a bigger, furrier version of one.
“No, we have to stand our ground.”
“But, it’ll attack u-”
“Trust me!” I then honked my horn and it backed up. It then rushed, then stopped, a mock charge. Eventually, it moved out of the road, disappearing into the darkness. We sighed in relief.
“That was close”, Matt sighed. I then continued to drive in the night, headlights leading the way. The road is bumpy, as noticed by every ditch and peak we hit, but surprisingly, Matt was fast asleep. I began to get comfortable driving and used to the road by that point. It was silent for a while until we hit a smaller intersection. That is when the truck shut down, completely and stopped. I tried the gas many times but with no effect. There is no light, nothing. It is near-darkness here, shone only by the moonlight.
“Shit”, I yelled, desperate to turn the truck on without much success. Matt woke up, confused.
“What happened”, he yawned.
“The truck turned itself off. I can’t get it back on”, I fretted and at that moment, Matt was just as panicked as I am.
“Why?”
“I-I don’t know. One moment, we were driving, another it just-”, I quavered, when I heard something rustle in the distance. We stood still, hoping whatever it was didn’t find us. I looked around, hoping to see something in the moonlight. I then see a long, walking animal. It looked like some sort of alligator at first, except for a dinosaur-like head. Once I strained my eyes to the darkness, my fear levels rose as I could see it walk on its hind limbs, with its forelimbs dangling nearly touching the ground.
It was wandering around on the road when I heard a near-crocodilian growl at Matt’s side of the truck. Another of those creatures appeared, seemingly looking into the window like a hungry bear, giving us a chance to see its scaly head. Its exposed alligator teeth gleaned in the light like knives, but more terrifying was the eye. Its serpentine pupil shone brilliantly in the light like eyes in the dark. It then ducked down, gave a hiss, and moved towards the other one. A few more showed up and formed a group.
“What should we do”, Matt asked. “Should we stay?” I looked around, hoping for another way to escape them without them noticing. I further strained my eyes and mentally mapped out the area. There is a cemetery on my right-hand side, a grain bin storage yard on my left and a series of trailers on the other side of the highway, which is ahead of us, from the storage area. There, I see a series of white, storage buildings, something we can go to and wait it out inside.
“Okay, so slowly open the door”, I instructed Matt. The click of the doors opening cringed us. We looked at the group, but there was no response from them. We then, as slowly as we could, opened the door and stepped out. Still no response. Matt then quietly ran to the other side, towards me. “Okay, we are going into the storage yard and go to the other entrance”, I said, pointing to the other right-hand corner. I wanted to get as far away from these things as possible before making a safe crossing. “Then, we cross the highway on the other side, run into the buildings and stay there for the night. Are you ready?”
“I guess”, he whispered, looking at me in fearful doubt.
“We are going to do this”, I whispered back. We then silently ran over, having to rely on our night-adapted eyes, to the corner, walking past the bins. We made it and nothing behind us so far. “We’re good so far.” We then crossed the road and noticed nothing. We noticed a tanker truck, leaking some sort of fluid across the road. I easily recognized it as fuel, based on its distinctive, sickly smell. I wouldn’t be worried about it if it weren’t for a collapsed light pole that is somehow still flickering with electricity near the area where the fuel would be flowing. We quickly avoided the fluid when I froze to see the group of the walking alligators, running towards us. “Run!” Matt tried to run, but one of those things appeared and clamped its jaws at the back of his neck. He yelped in pain and it took him down to the ground. “Matt”, I yelled, helplessly watching as the creature tore into him.
Matt reached out his arm before the others came to him, then a flash of fire came. At this point, I knew what happened, but I couldn’t even think before it exploded. It blew me towards the building, far away. I was knocked out for a few seconds before I regained consciousness, groaning in pain on the ice. I noticed something especially painful just below my chest. I reached towards the area with my hand. I pressed on it, more painful than ever and raised my hand, only to see blood, brightened by the fire. I realised I was wounded, maybe by shrapnel made by the explosion.
I looked toward where the truck was and all I saw was a blaze. Those things weren’t there, at least. I also noticed something else, too, there’s no Matt. I tried to look around for something, some sort of sign of my brother within the fire, but I saw none. I then wept, realising I had failed. I have failed to keep him safe. I have failed to give him a better life. I failed him as a sister. I could’ve done better. The thoughts poured in as tears glazed my eyes. At that moment, I failed to look around me.
I noticed a dark thing beside the blaze. I thought it was Matt, preparing to greet him back, even though I knew he couldn’t survive the explosion. The image became clearer and clearer as I noticed it was one of the walking crocs that, glazed by the fire, was coming towards me.
“Just kill me”, I screamed, preparing to painfully die to meet my maker. The creature was about to attack me when something large, silent as the wind, came charging and clamped down its massive jaws, filled with conical teeth on the hapless creature and raised it. The crocodile struggled before going limp with a crunch within its strong jaws. The big, dark and scaly monster that it is towered over me and is as long as a bus, possibly longer. Its large legs are a contradiction to its small arms that hide beneath its scarred, bulky body.
It turned to look at me with an oddly bird-like expression, revealing in the firelight numerous scars from battles I could never know and looked at me with its beady bird-like eyes, breathing out wisps from its nostrils like a dragon in the cool air. I recognized it as a creature I know too well, a T. Rex. I breathed heavily and sickly, looking at the thing, nearly expecting me to drop the body and go after me. Instead, it simply walked away, carrying its bloody prize with it, and steadily retreated into the darkness.
I then lay down in agonizing exhaustion on my back, thinking of the next step of action like I'm on a suicide mission I would never come back from. I looked in the direction of the graveyard and had one thought. I guess I am dying. a graveyard will do. I struggled to stand up, noticing my blood-soaked clothes and felt a broken left leg. I grasped my wound, limping step by step and enduring the sharp pain while shaking in the cold. Every step I took, I remembered all the memories, good or bad, that I had with my parents. My brother. My friends. My family. I eventually reached the cemetery and slouched at a tree.
“Guess I’m joining you, guys”, I said, speaking to the snow-covered gravestones, only to hear something. A familiar sound of chirping emerged and, lit by the blaze, it was a sight I can hope for. “Joe, what are you doing here”, I depressingly cheered as Joe went to me and curled up in my lap as if he were a cat. I noticed the new-found scar he had on his little snout, but I paid no mind as I petted him. “I guess you came back. Thank you so much for what you did”, I thanked him, not expecting such a loyal creature would be with me, comforting me, to the end, like what my mother used to do when I was a newborn. I heard another noise, this time a deep rumble.
I thought it was another earthquake coming, but it got louder the closer it got to me, becoming more animalistic only felt small vibrations I barely felt. Joe stayed put, oddly enough, as T. Rex, different from the first one, came. It walked towards us until it stopped short of us. It began to produce a low-pitched, bird-like purring, attracting Joe. I realised something, that this T. Rex is Joe’s parent. He joined the rest like him, whom they showed up and all chirped around.
The grown Rex then brought its snout closer to me, not to kill me, but to look at me. It did not reveal its teeth and was still purring. I put my hand out and its nose came close to it. It rubbed it against my hand and started to pet its cold, scaly skin as it breathed through its nose and put it on my chest. I rested my head on it before it pulled away. It gave out a hiss, but I knew it wasn’t that of a threat, but more of a thank you for bringing its small, sometimes immature, child home.
That gave me relief, as it felt like I at least did something for once. They walked away, along with Joe, towards the darkness amongst the gravestones in the cemetery. I glimpsed one last desperate look at Joe before walking beside his parent. I looked up at the sky and I could see all the stars, twinkling, and the dancing green auroras. I began to feel limp and felt the cold embrace of death coming over me, tears pouring out of my eyes. The sky then grew brighter and brighter, the stars faded into the light and I could see my family welcoming me to a new home. It then slowly went black, darker than a cave.
You would think this is the end of me. It wasn’t, or else I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I eventually woke up in a hospital in Regina. I was told I was rescued by a team that transported me while I was in a coma. The doctors said I was very lucky to be alive, as the shrapnel narrowly avoided my vital organs. After that, I was adopted into a new family, but I was only with them for a couple of years before finding a new job and moving out.
As for Sam, I don’t know what happened to her. I would like to think she is safe, somewhere else. As for my family, I think of them all the time. I was in a depressive period right after that. Eventually, over the years, I accepted that they were gone and went to a better place. For Joe, I would like to think he is all grown up, like his parents, and becoming the king of the jungle. I hope we meet again.
As for the evacuated area, it wasn’t some pipeline rupture that caused an evaluation, but an anomaly, with the exact reason not known. There are excuses for the claims of weird stuff going on in there, from disease to chemicals, to eventually a previously unknown geological event, but I saw through it all.
You may ask how, it's because I've been there. Take it or leave it, this is the story I have. As the decade came by, cover-ups were made to hide it, even walls were put around it. Since the incident, the exclusion zone grew from a mere 80 kilometers in diameter to 460 kilometers in diameter, emptying entire cities of the likes of Regina and Saskatoon. I had to move to North Battleford, by the recommendation from the same government covering it up, making me think that time will tell before the floodgates of truth open.
The anomaly didn’t have a name initially, however, over the years, everyone agreed on one name in particular: The Saskatchewan Anomaly.

Hey all, just wanted to a share a very quick overview, thoughts, and concerns 1 week after having a microdiscectomy on my L4-5 disc last week. I am now coming up to 7 days post op, feel free to ask questions if you have any. I've attached my pre-op scans + radiologists report too, for those who are interested.
I also have some questions at the end for those who have had a MD before that I'd love your take on :)
History TLDR; sciatic pain for ~3 years, started as leg pain when extending whilst sat down, progressed to severe, constant, lower back pain and leg pain when performing any activity other than laying down on the floor.
My surgery lasted for 2 hours, and was in the hospital for a total of 2 days (1 night stay). The hospital bed + assistance from nurses was highly appreciated. As the hospital beds are adjustable, it helped reduce pressure on the wound significantly. After having the procedure, you will be unable to bend to put on socks - it helps to have a second person to assist. The incision site is still very sore, and my back feels bruised, but no complications. The incision is around 5cm.
I have now completely trailed off all of my pain medication. I was on 150mg Tapentadol and 3000mg Paracetamol daily, and the pain was very manageable. My lower back pain has completely gone, I can now sit without pain (except for some soreness around my incision site + muscle aches), but still aim to keep sitting no longer than 30m at a time.
My sciatica went away initially, but has come back slightly since the operation (~60-80% reduction in pain from pre-op). I personally put this down to a mix of coming off pain killers, and increased inflammation. I am scared as hell that it is a sign it won't go away - I know this is just anxiety talking though, as I feel I'd know if I reherniated. From what my physio has said and what others report, it can take a few weeks to a few months for the nerve pain to resolve.
My other associated symptoms have almost completely subsided. Pre-op, I had sporadic difficulty urinating, numbness and tingling in my saddle region, which has now disappeared. I did have pain in my groin/bladder a few days post-op when urinating, but that has subsided, too.
I have been doing the following exercises 3 times daily, I am able to perform these with minimal pain and they really loosen up my back and post surgery stiffness:

• 2 sets of 10 ankle pumps
• 2 sets of 10 heel slides
• 2 sets of 10 single leg knee hug
• 1 set of 10 neural glide
• 2 sets of 10 sit stand from a chair
• 2 sets of 10 sideways walking

Overall, I would put a strong recommendation on the microdiscectomy procedure. If a MD has been identified to be beneficial to your diagnosis, and you feel you have exhausted other options, go for it. I wish I had it a year ago, it would have saved me a lot of pain and likely increased my chance of a positive overall outcome.
Questions I do have for others who have had a MD:

1. How long did it take for your sciatica to improve post-op? For me, it flares up the most when doing single leg raises. Stretching does help to reduce symptoms.
2. For those who have re-herniated; how obvious was it? I keep getting the niggling anxiety that it's already happened and that's why I still have some sciatic symptoms.
3. Did you get other odd pains that weren't there before? As I mentioned, I had groin/bladder pain for a few days post op. I have also found that my shins have started hurting, where they didn't before.

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For the last 2 years or so since I first got COVID, every time I’m about to get struck down with (day before symptoms appear) or just recovered from a cold/flu (say about 2-3 days post recovery) I get pain in my left collarbone that appears to be where the left supraclavicular nodes are. It presents as a small lump sometimes but goes away quickly and doesn’t visibly linger. Is very soft to touch, mainly just aches. Can touch and sometimes see it better if I lift the arm. The aches will last a few days and then generally disappear until I get sick again. I’ve seen a few doctors who’ve said “it’s just your bodies reaction to the virus” but unfortunately it’s disappeared before I can get an appointment and they haven’t assessed the lump when present. I did the naughty and googled it and not liking the answers I saw. Is this common/nothing to worry about if it always and only matches up to when my body is fighting an infection? 30m, non smoker, “relatively” fit if that matters.

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So, I (32F) know they say it’s safe to continue any exercise you were doing pre-pregnancy and not to start anything new once you’re pregnant. But, I was almost completely sedentary before pregnancy. I would go on leisurely walks maybe 3-4 times a week. Went to the gym here and there, but nothing very consistently. But that was it. No weights or any real cardio. My first pregnancy, L&D, and postpartum were very hard for me because I was not physically active for the most part. So I decided I’d start going to the gym. I’m a former athlete—played soccer and basketball all growing up, pick up games here and there as an adult, and there was a period during college where I was weightlifting consistently. So while I’m no stranger to workouts, I’m also no spring chicken. A week ago, at 5w+0d, I signed up for a Bodypump workout class at our local YMCA. It’s low weights and high reps. Lots of squatting, lunging, pushups, and core involved. I was able to keep up pretty well, but was sore the next two days. Took a break. I went again this morning at 6w+0d. I was very much NOT able to keep up. I had to keep taking rest breaks and actually felt faint at one point. I did what I felt was the responsible thing, listened to my body, and left the class about 2/3 of the way through. I couldn’t believe how exhausted I felt and how much one week difference made. I certainly don’t want to be sedentary again, and I think the weights, squats, and lunges we do during the class are really good for pregnancy. How do I find a happy medium? And should I let the instructor know that I’m pregnant? He’s a middle-aged man and I don’t know if he would even be able to offer me any insight. I have my first prenatal appointment and ultrasound in six days. Any advice welcome please!

Now I am going to be a serious moaning Michael here, but what is it with GPs and GP fees here?
Please tell me if I’m totally mad for being annoyed at this situation.
Had a very sore throat/tonsils two weeks ago. Made appointment with GP who was very dismissive, told me that they get lots of sore throats and that it’s viral and something going around. I pushed a little bit and he tested for strep. Charged €60.
5/6 days later he calls me and says that I’m positive for strep - tells me to do a 5 day course of antibiotics instead of a 10 and then call him if symptoms don’t do away.
5 days in and I feel a little better. 2 days after that (today) my symptoms are back. Call the GP (hoping they’d just reissue the prescription) but because old Doctor isn’t in, another GP wants to see me.
They then take vitals and look and say that I need 5 more days of antibiotics - and then they try to charge me €45 as a follow-up fee?!
Is this taking the piss? First I was dismissed and had to be nearly a week with no treatment, now they want to charge me again because the original course that they put me on wasn’t long enough?
Mental - to be honest I’m in horrible form, am unemployed and this is just an extra thing so please let me know if I’m being unreasonable.

Hey everyone.
So, i've done the Botox procedure 6 days ago. It was my first injection and the doctor used 100 units.
I am kind of frustrated, I feel like the effects hit me very weak. Things seem to go in the right direction, I can now obviously see how this treatment COULD be helping, but its just not strong enough. From day 3 I can sometime release tiny microburps, but they are not controllable and VERY small. I still suffer from same symptoms as before. My side effects seem to be too weak as well - I had a sore throat for about 2 days and now I have tiny bit of slow swallowing but its not nearly as bad as people here describe. In the past 2/3 days I don't even feel a progress from day to day so Im having hard time with trusting the process....
I was wondering if anyone here had a similar experience?
Its possible that it will kick in or I should just schedule a 2nd injection?
And is there anything I can do to make it work? I sometimes try to practice at burping but it ain't seem to be useful at all, I mostly end up choking then a gag reflex comes and I immediately stop. Have also tried to do some sets of Shaker ex but it mostly hurts the back of my neck so I don't really understand how it is useful for this case.
Would be thankful for your advice :)

Long 2 months, desperate for answers! Very detailed!
I’m so desperate for help, advice, answers, experiences (anything!) from someone/anyone who may have experienced or is going through the same as me!
In March 2024, I had a horrible sore throat so naturally I went to get tested for strep, Covid, and the flu. My rapid test came back negative for all 3 and the next day I was completely back to feeling great. 3 days later I get a call that my strep culture came back positive but I wasn’t prescribed any antibiotics because I was symptom free.
Early April 2024 I very suddenly came down with a high fever and body aches (with no warning signs or any other cold symptoms). Got tested again, everything was negative and I was fine within 24 hours.
**1 week later on the tail end of my period I developed horrible vaginal pain and sensitivity to the point I couldn’t sit down. My vulva was so irritated that it became raw and was bleeding light pink externally. I went to a woman’s clinic where they swabbed me. took a urine culture, and prescribed me bactrim while we waited for the test results. The test came back positive for strep 2 days later and a very high count of white blood cells (the untreated strep from march travelled through my system south!!! Didn’t even know this was possible). That same day I ended up in the hospital for a fainting spell, confusion, and nausea. After more testing the doctor found that the antibiotic wasn’t treating the infection so he prescribed Keflex 4X/day for 7 days. By day 2 I was feeling so much better (vaginal pain and all other irritations were fully resolved!)
5/1/2024 (5 days after finishing the keflex) I woke up with a severe sore/swollen throat and tested positive for Strep throat AGAIN. Here goes round 2 of antibiotics, now prescribed cefdinir 2x/day for 10 days. 2 days in once again, feeling great and took the 10 days finally felt better than I had in 2 months. I finished the cefdinir this past Friday (it’s now Monday) ….
I got my period yesterday (Sunday) and it was extremely heavy, much heavier than usual. Accompanied by severe cramps. Today mid morning I developed the same exact vaginal symptoms I had before testing positive for vaginal strep A!! The same rawness, tender, swollen feeling all external. Just a pad touching the area is excruciating pain and I can’t even fathom using a tampon.
What could this be? Strep again?! pH imbalance from the 2 rounds of antibiotics?! The blood from my period being such a high pH?! As I’m writing this all out I’m wondering if my period last month is what trigged the symptoms of the vaginal strep.. the month between my periods my vagina was completely healthy and feeling fine! HELP!
(Ive been tested for STDs which have all come back negative. I’m in a monogamous relationship (for 8 years). He was tested for strep orally and the results were negative)

Long 2 months, desperate for answers! Very detailed!
I’m so desperate for help, advice, answers, experiences (anything!) from someone/anyone who may have experienced or is going through the same as me!
In March 2024, I had a horrible sore throat so naturally I went to get tested for strep, Covid, and the flu. My rapid test came back negative for all 3 and the next day I was completely back to feeling great. 3 days later I get a call that my strep culture came back positive but I wasn’t prescribed any antibiotics because I was symptom free.
Early April 2024 I very suddenly came down with a high fever and body aches (with no warning signs or any other cold symptoms). Got tested again, everything was negative and I was fine within 24 hours.
**1 week later on the tail end of my period I developed horrible vaginal pain and sensitivity to the point I couldn’t sit down. My vulva was so irritated that it became raw and was bleeding light pink externally. I went to a woman’s clinic where they swabbed me. took a urine culture, and prescribed me bactrim while we waited for the test results. The test came back positive for strep 2 days later and a very high count of white blood cells (the untreated strep from march travelled through my system south!!! Didn’t even know this was possible). That same day I ended up in the hospital for a fainting spell, confusion, and nausea. After more testing the doctor found that the antibiotic wasn’t treating the infection so he prescribed Keflex 4X/day for 7 days. By day 2 I was feeling so much better (vaginal pain and all other irritations were fully resolved!)
5/1/2024 (5 days after finishing the keflex) I woke up with a severe sore/swollen throat and tested positive for Strep throat AGAIN. Here goes round 2 of antibiotics, now prescribed cefdinir 2x/day for 10 days. 2 days in once again, feeling great and took the 10 days finally felt better than I had in 2 months. I finished the cefdinir this past Friday (it’s now Monday) ….
I got my period yesterday (Sunday) and it was extremely heavy, much heavier than usual. Accompanied by severe cramps. Today mid morning I developed the same exact vaginal symptoms I had before testing positive for vaginal strep A!! The same rawness, tender, swollen feeling all external. Just a pad touching the area is excruciating pain and I can’t even fathom using a tampon.
What could this be? Strep again?! pH imbalance from the 2 rounds of antibiotics?! The blood from my period being such a high pH?! As I’m writing this all out I’m wondering if my period last month is what trigged the symptoms of the vaginal strep.. the month between my periods my vagina was completely healthy and feeling fine! HELP!
(Ive been tested for STDs which have all come back negative. I’m in a monogamous relationship (for 8 years). He was tested for strep orally and the results were negative)