Hello! I know we have a super small space but my husband and I plan on raising chickens and rabbits. I have a rough collie but he's a bit too scared to be a LGD. My reason to get one is because we get coyotes where I live and other small wild animals. I was wondering what you guys would recommend for poultry, rabbits, and a small area to roam. I considered a Pyrenees but thought my place is too small for a dog that big. It gets very cold where I live and there's lots of snow. Also we have a kitty outside so want a breed that is cat friendly. Any help is appreciated :)

So I'm going to be trying to find work on a ranch soon. I have no experience, I'm trying to find somewhere that will accept teaching me, but are also child friendly and will let me bring my child who is under 10. I'm just recently unemployed and am trying to follow my life long dream of working on a ranch and working with farm animals. I know it's hard work, I'm not afraid of hard work. I just want to know where I can go. Does anyone know of any places?

Helvetia Network Early Access Release Announcement The Release Of Early Access Of The Helvetia Network Is Now Open For All Players The Following Server Info Below And Yet To Come:
2 Earths One PvE And One PvP Both Connected
Pve Server Focuses On Crafting Farming Building Economy Social Growing Towns And Nations Property Markets Making Supplys To Sell To The PvP War Factions While Growing Your Own Empire The Way You Like
PvP Server Focuses On Fighting Players Over Land Resources Spite Land Claiming Over Throwing Regimes And Looting Full On War And Sieges On Who Can Dominate The Earth While Unloading Loot Back Home In Your PvE Capitol And Restocking On Pots Armor Weps And Food To Head Back Out To The Front Lines
There Is No 5 Animal Per Chunk BS (we want you to actaully thrive)
Seeds Have Been Removed From Crop Harvesting Instead Making It a Mob Drop (removes 30 dubs of seeds for 1 dub of wheat plus seed market woo)
Ability To Use t/n spawn for towns and nations will not have a upkeep (sorta bs to have fees)
Nations Will Only Cost 1000 To Make
Town Plots To Claim Is Only 10
NO Overclaim If You Had Enough People To Claim It At One Point You Wont Lose it
90 Day Inactive Town Kick No 30 Day Bs
/lottery global Lottery That Players Can Buy Into And Win Big
Villager Shops Allowing You To Have 1 - infinite Rows To Buy/Sell Items Along With Storage Space
A Proper Economy Focused On Not Having Poverty 2.0 Thats Broken Asf
Dungeons That You And Your Friends Can Fight And Loot All The Goodies Within
Bosses With Really Op Loot Tables (Good Luck )
Netting Animals/Mobs Ability to Capture Any Creature With A Net Showing Its Stats And Portable Way To Sell Your Creatures Without Getting Scammed (imagine The Insane Horse Breeding And Rare Skele and Zombie Horses)
"Coins" A Special Item That Allows f2p and p2p To Both Have Access To The Same Admin Shop To Buy Nets Op Villager Shops Elytria Wings Warp Books And Premium Status All Possible For All Players
We Are 1.20 We Actaully Got Camels And Cherry XD
Over Haul Of Custom Crafting Recipes (Alot Of Quality Of Life Ones)
Ability To Get /hat Without Premium Through A /hat Book
Ability To Store Exp With /bottle Store Amount
Spawners Able To Silk Touched Ingame Naturally And Added To Admin Shop
Fishing Now Rewards You Random Goodies (Gotta Fish To Find Out :p )
Come Join The Helvetia Network Family Where Gains To Be Gathered And Friends To Grow We Hope To See You There
MC IP: play.helvetianetwork.com
Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/w8crhRmMy5
Dynamic World Map: http://play.helvetianetwork.com:8123/
Helvetia Networks Website Store https://shop.helvetianetwork.com/

I’m finally putting the pump away after 3 (almost 4) of the most mentally draining months of my life. I have learned and realized so much, and I want to share my story to hopefully help someone else who is currently in the position I was in.
Before I had my baby, I planned to BF as long as I possibly could. When I felt like a failure because BF didn’t work for us, I became obsessed with the idea of exclusively pumping. And Lord, I had absolutely no idea what I was signing myself up for. EP is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Harder than birth. Harder than losing a family member. Harder than my previous battles with mental health. I was drowning in the sea of stress with having low supply, on top of pumping every 2 hours, on top of having a newborn, on top of cleaning the pump, on top of cleaning the bottles, on top of being alone with my baby for 12-13 hours a day while my boyfriend was at work.
I completely lost myself. I had never been so full of anger and hate. I fully blame the stress of feeling like I had no choice but to BF or EP for my extreme postpartum rage. I broke things. I screamed. I said things I will never be able to take back. Thankfully I was blessed with such an amazing partner and father to my child. But even with him being the most understanding and patient, I almost lost him, too. Our fights were so terrible. I felt like no matter what he did, the labor of raising our daughter was never equal, and I started to hate him. It had gotten to the point where we barely even spoke to each other because so much had been done and said.
Still, I was convinced, she HAD to have breastmilk. And being on that pump was literally sucking the life out of me.
My daughter and I left and had fully planned to start living with my mom. During our stay at her house, she noticed I was slipping. She told me she didn’t recognize me. She suggested that I drop down to 2 pumps a day and supplement with formula for the rest of the feedings. I hated her for even making the suggestion, but out of pure exhaustion and desperation, I caved. And thank god I did. I had been pushed over the edge so long before that I couldn’t even see it anymore. After just 8 days of staying with my mom and supplementing formula, I felt the fog clear. I felt the wave of guilt crashing over me when I realized I was responsible for hurting the two things I love most in this world- my daughter and her father. I robbed my baby of the smiling, joyful mother she deserves, and I robbed my partner of the bond we had spent 2 years creating.
I became so obsessed with the benefits of breastmilk for my baby that I caused more harm than good. Moral of the story is, fed truly is best. And when you’re in the trenches, sometimes you’re too far gone to see that as the truth. But it is the only truth. I realized that breastmilk isn’t essential to my baby’s development- but a stable and happy mother is. I called my boyfriend. I came home. I washed my pump one last time, and put it in my bottom dresser drawer. And instead of mourning my “giving up”, We opened a bottle of alcohol and celebrated my success. And the strength it required to realize it was time to walk away. My baby gained 4.5 pounds because of my boobies, lol. She had breastmilk for 107 days. She is healthy. She is happy. And I finally have my life back.
To all of the amazing mothers who continue to make this sacrifice for their babies everyday, I want to say I am so so proud of you. And I hope you never forget what an amazing thing you’ve done to give your baby any breastmilk at all- even when it felt damn near impossible. And thanks for reading my lil life lesson as a first time mom. ❤️

cats im already planning on doing: mrs. dress
mr. fluff
Boo/Maxwellita
Mr. Cry/ Fucked up cat*
*im also accepting other animals that come to the feeders, except for impossible ones like flies or other bugs. i will likely figure out something for mr. snail.

Helvetia Network Early Access Release Announcement The Release Of Early Access Of The Helvetia Network Is Now Open For All Players The Following Server Info Below And Yet To Come:

• 2 Earths One PvE And One PvP Both Connected
  
• Pve Server Focuses On Crafting Farming Building Economy Social Growing Towns And Nations Property Markets Making Supplys To Sell To The PvP War Factions While Growing Your Own Empire The Way You Like
  
• PvP Server Focuses On Fighting Players Over Land Resources Spite Land Claiming Over Throwing Regimes And Looting Full On War And Sieges On Who Can Dominate The Earth While Unloading Loot Back Home In Your PvE Capitol And Restocking On Pots Armor Weps And Food To Head Back Out To The Front Lines
  
• There Is No 5 Animal Per Chunk BS (we want you to actaully thrive)
  
• Seeds Have Been Removed From Crop Harvesting Instead Making It a Mob Drop (removes 30 dubs of seeds for 1 dub of wheat plus seed market woo)
  
• Ability To Use t/n spawn for towns and nations will not have a upkeep (sorta bs to have fees)
  
• Nations Will Only Cost 1000 To Make
  
• Town Plots To Claim Is Only 10
  
• NO Overclaim If You Had Enough People To Claim It At One Point You Wont Lose it
  
• 90 Day Inactive Town Kick No 30 Day Bs
  
• /lottery global Lottery That Players Can Buy Into And Win Big
  
• Villager Shops Allowing You To Have 1 - infinite Rows To Buy/Sell Items Along With Storage Space
  
• A Proper Economy Focused On Not Having Poverty 2.0 Thats Broken Asf
  
• Dungeons That You And Your Friends Can Fight And Loot All The Goodies Within
  
• Bosses With Really Op Loot Tables (Good Luck )
  
• Netting Animals/Mobs Ability to Capture Any Creature With A Net Showing Its Stats And Portable Way To Sell Your Creatures Without Getting Scammed (imagine The Insane Horse Breeding And Rare Skele and Zombie Horses)
  
• "Coins" A Special Item That Allows f2p and p2p To Both Have Access To The Same Admin Shop To Buy Nets Op Villager Shops Elytria Wings Warp Books And Premium Status All Possible For All Players
  
• We Are 1.20 We Actaully Got Camels And Cherry XD
  
• Over Haul Of Custom Crafting Recipes (Alot Of Quality Of Life Ones)
  
• Ability To Get /hat Without Premium Through A /hat Book
  
• Ability To Store Exp With /bottle Store Amount
  
• Spawners Able To Silk Touched Ingame Naturally And Added To Admin Shop
  
• Fishing Now Rewards You Random Goodies (Gotta Fish To Find Out :p )
  

Come Join The Helvetia Network Family Where Gains To Be Gathered And Friends To Grow We Hope To See You There
MC IP: play.helvetianetwork.com
Discord Invite: https://discord.gg/w8crhRmMy5
Dynamic World Map: http://play.helvetianetwork.com:8123/
Helvetia Networks Website Store https://shop.helvetianetwork.com/

I'm working on a worldbuilding project where the "planet" is in fact a very large and shallow bowl (think something like this) on the table of the gods, who plan to eventually feast upon the waters, plants, animals, and humans residing upon it. While obviously there's room for a lot of magic-driven conceits here, within and around those conceits I want to aim for at least semi-realism.
This world has a single ocean in the center, where the bowl becomes steeper, and a static sun that hangs over the ocean (because this sun is also kind of a spirit, there are ways of calling it down at night and sending it back up during the day, with the warmth of distant lights from the hall of the gods making up for the "extinguished" sun). What I've been trying to figure out is how this will affect the single main wind cell on this world, and how that in turn will shape the climate. My initial thought was that during the day, hot air would rise in the center and cool as it reached the edges, returning as winds that blow towards the oceans—but from what I can tell this is unlikely, since the coastal land will heat up faster than the water does, and I'm not sure how this will change at night. What might happen here on a broad scale—or might it be better to add in wind spirits that get me the "tropical coasts fading into temperate zones and ultimately into deserts at the edges" climate distribution I've been picturing?
ETA: Lol, didn't realize that link would just embed a picture of a soup bowl in the post.

I'm 21, currently studying computer tech & information systems in a small city, in Turkey.
I started antidepressants almost a month ago, I'm a 2nd grader, I've been paying the bare minimum attention to my lessons, I don't feel like doing anything, I feel like I'm gonna fail few classes. I feel like I'm stuck in an autobot mode, I hardly feel anything and when I feel it's mostly depressing, melancholic, loneliness. I have few friends but I kinda don't want to see them anymore. I can't tell my parents a thing, feeling like it will disappoint them, my current days are passing without killing myself but does it count as living ?
I just want to leave the city, it's a small place, I feel like I can't be myself in this environment. It's such a small place that doesn't let you get a fresh breath. I want to leave but there's no such chance about that since it takes a very mental and financial effort that I can not afford at the moment.
I just feel so low feels like it's the deepest I reached, for sure worst can happen in life and sure will, Im just out of function, don't think anyone around me would understand. I just feel lost, everything moves so fast, I feel alienated, isolated in my mind.
I plan on going for a career in game development industry and trying to take action about that but I'm in a phase a slump that is really going hard. I have no one to talk about it so I'm here on a subreddit to get some kind of relief about things that I can't even talk to myself.

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

I’m in college and student teaching and always have trouble coming up with learning objectives for some of these standards. Right now I need to come up with two MEASURABLE learning objectives for these standards that are for the same lesson plan-ELA: With prompting and support, actively engage group reading activities with purpose and understanding. ELP- Construct meaning from oral presentations and literary and informational text through grade appropriate listening, reading, and viewing. Any tips, tricks, resources, or anything helpful is appreciated. I seem to get stuck on these often and am trying to find a way to make it simple. TIA

Hello! I have had a really horrible phobia of this disease in the past. Last week my manager (who lives on a farm and talks about how many animals she has, and how many wild animals show up there) gave me a 13 week old kitten. We took her to the vet the following day where they treated her for ear mites, and gave her her FVRCP vaccine. I asked if we could do the rabies vaccine and she said we’d do it in 3 weeks when she gets her booster. She assured me i had nothing to fear.
Then a few days ago the kitten scratched me, i have been spiraling since.
My manager who gave me the kitten has over 5 dogs and multiple cats. She said the kitten never went outside, but that she played with the other animals. I don’t think the kitten has ever been bit (no missing fur or chunks on her skin) but could she somehow have been exposed through the other cats and dogs? I asked how her animals were doing and she said they were all good.
Is this a valid reason to get into the vet sooner? Or will we be safe to wait the remaining two weeks? I don’t want to waste the vets time if it’s safe, but i also don’t want to risk any cat or human in my home getting sick.
Thank you for any any input.

I'm currently working with a friend on a Minecraft resource pack which tries to resemble Mindustry. We have already changed the models of the allay and the wither skull. Feel free to comment suggestions and feedback. The models are not finished and we're planning to add animated textures to the mono

I (25F) finish my SCITT (School Centered Initial Teacher Training) course in July this year in the UK, training to teach science (chemistry) in secondary school. Before this I taught for 2 years in the middle school sector american curriculum in an international school in Saudi Arabia. I am fully aware of how demanding the teaching profession can be - my degree is in Education studies - but during this year I have been more sick with stress than I ever have in my life and have had more sick days off due to being physically sick or even I mentally couldn't hack it to the point the thought of going into school would make me cry at times.
The workload is ridiculous pushing past the point arguably of what teachers actually do, I'm expected to observe lessons in time that I don't have - I'm expected to teach 15 hours a week (the lessons being planned from scratch by myself which none of the teachers that work of the school do as they just use lessons from a shared area that I can only really use for 1 or 2 lessons a week.), the amount of paperwork to complete for my evidence bundle is insane including 3 page lesson plans for each lesson I teach, a sequence of learning to explain why I had done and planned the way I had, weekly reflections that need to be submitted, plenty of outer reading with proof you're doing it, behaviour management and professional behaviours logs, additional subject knowledge tasks and time taken away from PPAs for subject training. The lack of support for all this work is minimal because none of the teachers have enough time to sit with me and talk about the lessons or help plan and I often think I'm just in their way. On top of all this paperwork I am also expected to write my PGCE assessments, which due to a failure on the university's part half of my cohort have failed the second assessment, partake in the revision sessions for year 11 after school 3 days a week, be part of the science club for year 7s and mark all the books for all 10 classes I teach - I won't officially get home until around 6pm where I have dinner and take a shower and continue to lesson plan and do work until around 1am because all lesson plans need to be submitted to my host teacher for that class 48 hours before the actual lesson.
I honestly just feel burnt out and don't think I can cope with it all along with the attitude and behaviour of the students that are so disrespectful. Should I quit?

Hi all, a local farm/gardening organization Holly Hill Farm is working with several agencies in Quincy to put together a feasibility plan for a community garden. If you would like to share your feedback on what you would ike to see in a community garden in Quincy, please fill out the survey below. And share with anyone else who might be interested.
If you want to be placed on a mailing list to learn more as the process progresses, there is a space where you can share contact info, but you can also leave this blank if you prefer to remain anonymous.
Thanks!
The survey in English is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/kDJuUDP5hWQ1Q4sY6
The survey in Spanish is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/x5zRkhSw8kfuV5gGA
The survey in Portuguese is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/aKj46dc3BNWpGBdL8
The survey in Mandarin Chinese is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/z3hPc1AvVVKZPYZq6
The survey in Cantonese Chinese is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/AMHnujvFfPf91fkHA
The survey in Vietnamese is here or use this link:https://forms.gle/J1HPSEHWEGKz7dGK7

My (27F) husband (28M) and I currently have one child. She is 19 months old and is truly the light of our lives. I have always wanted 2-3 children, and have always wanted them close in age, ideally about 2 years apart. Around January I got the strong urge to start trying for another baby. I talked to my husband about it and he was also on board. I would have began trying immediately, however I had an IUD and couldn’t get an appointment to get it removed until March. We planned to start trying then once I got it removed. Well, March rolled around and I finally got my IUD removed. Ever since then, however, I have felt so nervous about having another. There have been no happy jitters or exciting thoughts, and instead only fear. I love our lives right now. Our daughter is a wonderful sleeper and is very easy all things considered. She was NOT an easy newborn though, and had colic for about 3 months. The newborn/infant stage was extremely difficult for us and really took a toll on our marriage. I feel like we are finally at a good place again and life is finally getting back to normal and we’re loving it. I keep finding myself wondering why in the world would I mess up what we have and throw our lives back into chaos. I love our daughter and feel so content with her, but part of me feels like it would be wrong not to give her a sibling. I also don’t feel like I’m completely done having kids, but I just don’t have that desire right now. I don’t know what changed from January to March, but my entire perspective on trying for a second has shifted now. Has anyone dealt with anything like this? How did you know whether or not you wanted another?

Still on my first playthrough, I went in blind without reading any guides/tutorials. I made some huge mistakes like picking the wrong city development perks (sheep breeding, trapping, and charcoal first three, then deep mining, cheaper trade routes, and helmet crafting last). I also completely ignored military and weapon making as well as never attacking bandit camps, mostly because I was constantly trying to keep my town alive since they were always running out of food (almost every year was at 0 months until food ran out after winter). But after several years of expansion and farming like there was no tomorrow, and making every single citizen have a vegetable plot or chickens, they finally became self sustaining enough for me to build hundreds of weapons and armor since I started out in a rich iron deposit with added deep mining perk. By that time the Baron had claimed every single region except one. I claimed it when I finally had 1k influence, built up a thriving meat industry (rich animal deposit) which further supported my first town's growth. Then relatively quickly gained 2k influence to lay claim to one of baron's regions. Even though he had 2 extra archer & footmen squads, as well as double the retinue amount than me, I squashed one of his archer squads that tried to outflank me with my retinue, and pinned their whole army between my 72 spearmen and sent my retinue to attack them from behind while they were engaged with the spear wall and getting hit with my archers. Victory!
I went from nearly giving up and starting over due to my town's starvation, to being a powerful kingdom in a couple years. This game is awesome, can't wait for more developments & features! I like that you actually can strategically plan & update your combat strategy in real-time to out maneuver the enemy.
Now to go and claim the rest of the map!

Two years ago, I had just moved to a new house from a different neighbourhood for work. I was settling in and getting used to the place, but I was still lonely and went through bouts of depression.
My ex-boyfriend of five years had ended the relationship a while before I moved, and I wasn't having much luck going on dates. I eventually decided to focus my energy into work and fitness instead, but the loneliness lingered. The house still felt empty at times, and the silence was painful. I went through the motions numbly as the days passed by.
About two months after I had moved in, I started noticed a stray dog pacing around my front yard from time to time. It had big, brown, sad eyes, and there was no collar around its neck. I couldn't tell you what breed it was - a reverse Google image search tells me it looks like an Indian Pariah dog. I could always recognize it, as its left eye was slightly larger and darker than the right, but that gave it some unique charm. After seeing it outside my front door for three days straight, I put up some posters along my street inviting anyone who might have lost a dog to call me. I quickly learned that I probably shouldn't have done that, after getting a few silent calls from an unknown number that I eventually chalked up to being a prankster or some scammer.
I called a local animal shelter and them pictures of the dog. A guy came over to scan the dog for a microchip, but found nothing. He said it was most likely abandoned as a puppy. He could take it back to the shelter, or I could look after it for the time being - they would contact me if anyone ever tried to claim it. My grandad had a german shepherd that I used to love playing with, so I always had a soft spot for dogs and agreed to look after it, even if it was for a while. The guy from the animal shelter advised that if I didn't hear back in a week, I should take it to the vet to get it checked out and microchipped, or to the shelter if I didn't want to keep it.
I took care of the dog and let it roam around the living room, with free access to the back yard. I decided to name him Charlie, and purchased more dog food, a labelled dog collar, some brushes to groom him with and dog toys. The nearest vet was a two hour drive away. Work was busy so I wasn't incredibly flexible for a visit, but I managed to get an appointment booked in two weeks' time.
The first night I spent with Charlie, I realized that he might just be what I needed in my life. Late in the evening, I sat on the couch looking at him, sitting quietly in the middle of the room on my wooden floor. I began talking out loud to Charlie. It seemed stupid at first, but the way he sat quietly and listened was comforting. After a while, I got more into it, and vented about my loneliness and frustrations to the point of tears.
How I stayed with my cheating, gaslighting ex-boyfriend because I was too insecure to be alone, until he dumped me. All my failed dates, and how I thought I would die alone and unloved. I poured my heart out to my new companion, spilling my deepest secrets until I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I again began talking to Charlie about the pain and depression I had been through, and he listened patiently once more. I discovered that spending time with my new friend was cathartic. Perhaps I needed to get it all out, and be listened to for once, even if not fully understood.
The third day after I had taken Charlie in, I woke up to realize that I'd overslept half an hour. I poured some food into Charlie's bowl and brushed my teeth at lightning speed, then grabbed my bag and flung the door open, ready to bolt into my car. A surprise greeted me at the front door, that made me stop.
There was a bouquet of red and pink roses on my front door step.
I picked it up and looked at it, confused. There was no note attached or anything. I couldn't think of who it would be from - I obviously hadn't been on any dates recently. Being late for work, I didn't have much time to ponder, so I dropped the roses back on my doorstep and drove off. During the drive, I panicked for a second at the thought that it could have been my ex, but then realized he didn't know my new address, or even that I had moved. The mystery bugged me all day at work. When I came back home, the roses were gone, so I assumed someone had accidentally left them at the wrong address.
That night, I woke to the sound of creaking. As I opened my eyes slightly, I saw something at the foot of my bed and bolted upright, adrenaline rushing through me. As the fogginess faded, my heart rate settled a little.
"It’s just you, Charlie," I sighed, "you scared me."
Charlie continued to stare at me from the foot of my bed. After a minute, he stood up and left the room. I didn't think much of it, and fell back asleep.
For the next week, I continued the usual ritual of talking to Charlie before I went to bed. I would talk about my day, my plans, hopes, dreams and other such things. I found our one way conversations getting more positive each day - they were very therapeutic. Charlie would always stare at me with those big brown eyes and sit quietly still as I talked.
On the morning of the vet appointment, for which I had taken the day off work, I noticed that my car was much cleaner than usual. Had it always been this shiny? I thought. I had driven it to work the Friday before, but I hadn't taken notice of how clean it was then. The last time I had, I could swear there were bird droppings on the back window, and some general grime that covered it all round, but it was now spotless. I pondered for a few seconds, and came to the conclusion that it must've just be a brain lapse on my part - it was probably always clean. Those droppings must have washed away over time with a few rainy nights.
I drove Charlie down to the vet and explained the story of how I'd found him.
"He's very well behaved," she beamed, as she began examining Charlie on the table. "We see a few of these cases from time to time. People's dogs have puppies, and they get sold or abandoned."
"It's a real shame," I sighed. "Charlie's been a star, I'm lucky to have him really. I live alone, so as odd as it sounds, I've been talking to him and it's helped me through some difficult moments."
"That's not strange at all," replied the vet, checking his teeth. "Owning a dog can do wonders for your mental health, especially if you live alo-"
She suddenly stopped.
I stared as she squinted and moved Charlie's head up and down, trying to get a look at something. She plucked a light out of her pocket and aimed it into Charlie's left eye.
"What's wrong?" I asked. She didn't answer, and kept looking at Charlie from different angles. He whimpered slightly.
"Did his eye look like this when you found him?" She asked. I leaned in closer.
"Yeah, I did notice his left eye was slightly darker and larger than his right."
She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows, then back at Charlie.
"I'd like to get a closer look at his eye and examine it in the next room, if that's okay?"
"Uh, sure," I said, confused.
Without further explanation, she hastily picked Charlie up and carried him off into a different room. I sat down and waited, reading the news on my phone, expecting her to be back in a few minutes. However, when the vet didn’t come back for a while, my concern began to grow. I paced around the room and tried to glance into the door she had left through a few times.
Then I sat back down and watched the minutes pass by, getting more anxious. Hopefully it's nothing, I thought to myself. An easily curable eye infection perhaps, or a defect he was born with - hopefully it was something like that or nothing. I'd only spent a few weeks with Charlie, but he was the best friend I'd ever had. I had told him so much about me, and he was the only one that had ever really listened to me. I had grown very attached to him quickly, so I almost felt like a worried parent, blaming myself for not bringing him to the vet sooner.
An hour and a half passed, but it felt like eternity. The vet finally came back through the door. I stood up.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Have you noticed any odd events recently?" she asked, "Like, anything you couldn't explain?"
"To do with Charlie?"
"No, just in general. Anything you've seen or heard around you that felt out of place in your life?" She insisted. I took a second to think.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't gonna be relevant," I said, "But I have a couple of times. For instance, this morning I thought my car was a lot cleaner than usual. I've been getting some unknown calls, and hearing some creaking noises at night lately, but I'm sure it's just Charlie walking around and waking me up. And… someone left roses on my front doorstep one day. Didn't say from who, but… Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm even telling you this."
I looked up at the vet, who now had a very concerned look on her face.
"I'm going to have to call the police," she said.
It took a few seconds to register. A million thoughts started racing through my mind. Did I say something wrong? Did she think I was abusing Charlie?
"I swear," I said, "Everything I've told you is true, I'm really sorry it took me so long to bring him in, it's my first time owning a dog and all…"
"No, no, it's not that," she said. She gestured for me to follow her into the room through the door.
Charlie was sitting on a table in the middle of the room. There were a few other tables surrounding it, with dog toys and surgical equipment on them. There was a large hole where his left eye had been, now a gaping black cavity.
The vet pointed at a sheet of blue paper on a table next to the one Charlie was on. There were two black domes resting on it, like two halves of a black ping pong ball had been split in half. A clear fluid was covering the outer sides, and staining the blue paper. There was also a tiny black cube. I looked closer, and saw some red and green wires coming out of the tube.
"I took this out of Charlie's left eye," the vet explained, "I thought my eyes were fooling me, but I took a closer look and was sure this thing definitely shouldn't have been in his head. When I took it out, I thought it was some kind of prosthetic eye, until I heard something moving inside it. I opened it up, and found this."
She pointed at the tiny cube and picked it up with some tweezers, revealing a transparent circular window on one side.
"Now I'm no expert, but I took that apart just now and to me it looked a lot like the inside of a camera lens you'd get on a smartphone."
She looked back at me.
"Do you think…" She paused.
"Do you think it's possible someone could have been watching you for the past few days?"
The police were eventually called and an investigation started. The tiny device inside Charlie's eye was indeed a camera lens with a built in audio recording device, and it had a wireless connection. It was an advanced piece of kit, but with some technical expertise they were able to examine its traffic logs and identify an IP address to which the miniature device was streaming.
That IP address belonged to my neighbor, who lived in the house opposite to mine.
I had never seen him leave the house before, although when I moved in I did see his silhouette in the top floor window a couple of times. He was a fifty five year old balding, slightly overweight man who worked as an engineer, but otherwise lived a reclusive lifestyle. I later found out that he had multiple restraining orders placed against him from ex partners. He had a collection of tiny bugging devices which he had been planting in various places including public women's bathrooms for years. These devices could livestream video and audio to his computer, and in his spare time he would watch and listen to this footage he collected.
A while before I moved into the house, he had purchased a puppy from someone he knew, and kept it as a pet without registering it. I assume he got bored of spying on women in bathroom stalls, and when he saw me move into the house opposite, he suddenly got a wild idea of how he could get a peek at something more intimate. The rest is some truly horrific history.
Charlie had been in my room while I slept and even a couple of times while I undressed. But worst of all, I had told him everything about me. The names of previous partners, things about my family, companies I had worked for and more. I wish I could say that I kept Charlie, but I just couldn't. Not after that. The vet arranged for him to be sent to the animal shelter where I'm glad to say he eventually did find a new home. I also relocated and changed my phone number.
For anyone out there wondering, I'm still single. The difference is that nowadays, I'm completely at peace with being alone. I've experienced a worse alternative, that's for sure.

hey, this is my first reddit post and i'll try to be as precise as possible and not prolong this too much.so sorry for grammar mistakes or if this seems chaotic i really don't know where else to turn.
so it all started before i was born. my mom is a woman raised where i was raised as well and my dad came from a country near by due to war. my mom was raised by an abusive mom (my abusive grandma) and by an absent dad(my grandpa was working a lot in the US). my dad was raised by okish parents, his dad died of lung cancer which is a thing my dad never overcame, and my grandma was a teacher who was strict but my dad has a lot of siblings so i guess they managed.
my mom has a brother who is older then her and is a successful businessman. my dad is the oldest of them 4, and is a teacher as well.
my mom and dad met bc of my dad being a teachers assistant and my mom going to his lessons. he is 7 yrs older then my mom so its not as weird as it sounds. eventually they started dating and got me in March of 2000. they divorced in 2006. officially, and were not together since 2004.
so early on i was in care of my abusive mom. she was emotionally and physically abusive from my first memory since 2014. when i decided to run away from "home" forever. i never had a place to call home. my moms place was always cluttered and i could not get any privacy o relax for a second or she would loose her shit. she was diagnosed with depression and cancer in 2017. and that crushed her to a spiraling depression and led me to be forever scared. my mom was so abusive that i had to put foundation on to cover bruises when i was 9 or 10. she called me a slut, garbage, a failure, a bitch etc. all of that stuck to me till this day. i was a straight A student but if i were to get B or god forbid B- i was punished in front of my friends, my relatives or at home. NOBODY SEEMED TO CARE. but everybody knew.
my dad had a very good job at the time. he had quite a bit of money so he'd send some to my mom to spend on me but now remembering i cant say that i remember her spending that amount on me. also i had no concept of money. i was a child. then i hit the age of 10\11 and developed some idea that this was not normal. so every time my mom would harm me i would find a way to call my dad and be crying and begging him to come and get me. i loved my dad the most back then. he would always brush it off or say we'll go to grandmas this weekend but it was only Wednesday so will i survive till then? but it didnt matter i trusted that man with my life.
and so after endless sleepless nights (thats why im short btw) and the never ending abuse, my dad would randomly show up and pick me up from like kinder garden or school like a was some kind of a cute lil pet. and not just that! he would buy me that one thing i wanted as all kids i think at least, have that one thing they like. so he'd buy it for me. and we would go to Mc Donalds since my mom forbid me that kind of food (i was a model and played flute so i ate only small amount of usually boiled rice and fish). so based on all this my dad was a superhero. i loved that man so much.
i forgot to mention but, i was in a mental institution since my dads wife is a doctor and a bitch so she thought it was a good idea to lock me up with seriously dangerous kids and make me stay there for 20 days till it was claimed that i am ok, just has a teenage behavior. i think i will never forgive them for that. im not sure but i think it was 2016.
until October of 2014. i decided to end this vicious cycle. my mom was hitting me and i had enough. i punched back. hard. and i ran through that door like my dad did and never looked back. mom and dad were looking for me for the whole night since i didnt grab my phone while all this was happening. i didnt care. i was with a guy who ended up to be the love of my life and would be killed by his friend in 2018.
after all of this i started to realize i was not small and vulnerable as i was before. so i started to live on the streets. i didnt eat, sleep or shower at home. sometimes i would sleep in front of peoples doors in buildings. i started to fail school. and again it was all my fault. my whole life was my fault. always.
one day my dad had enough since he was always looking for me and not sleeping. so he decided to put me in a campus while im in high school. thats not rly common over here btw. so i went. and i was mad since 150km from my hometown was a lot and my bf(that dude i talked abt already) was in jail so i felt like i was in jail too. i was bullied a lot. and s/harassed. my parents have no idea abt this tho.
so 2018. rolles up. my mom has survived cancer, my dad is proud cuz i graduated and everything seems to be fine. but it rly wasnt. as i mentioned my bf was k!lled that summer(a few days before his birthday) so i was completely alone now. i had some relationships but they didnt matter at all. i was and maybe still am, dead inside.
after that summer i came back to my hometown. this time my dad has planned for me to stay at my grandmas since shes far away from the city center and also has a whole house to her. thats when i developed a bunch of mental disorders, had my first panic attack, went to the hospital o the daily bases, was harassed on the street and had to seek help from a psychiatrist again. only this time i found out that i had depression and this and that and the other. after months of trying to figure out what is wrong with me my latest dr said that it was cptsd and anxiety and since then i have never been the same.
i have had recently an epileptic seizure as well so i am now 10x more terrified of the world. i cant go anywhere without really preparing for it. i was paralyzed for months and suddenly i live w my now boyfriend who doesn't understand shit, have parents who aren't capable of helping led alone love, and with a few friends. and a mean like 3 friends.
i feel so bad. i feel like i don't want to live anymore. please help me im too embarrassed to talk to anyone.
tnx if u read

I decided to do it in a summery short version because I don’t want to feel like a tease or keeping you guys waiting I won’t drop names or specific location mostly things that has to do with the recovery and time on mdma pills
How I obtained the bags : me and my friend found a good trustworthy source and decided to buy bulk while the legit pills where around they where a variety of different shapes some basic like angry birds , 1up mushrooms,teslas until the second bag we where planning on both using and selling only during festival season or for summer more party like seasons which we would take a certain amount with us that event to sell
While we did test the top of the bags which was cleared for mdma I won’t lie and say we tested the whole batches but can vouch every pill had the same effect idk
The good : while my time on mdma i had social experiences I never would of had otherwise it helped me understand a lot about my depression and anxiety along with social anxiety in big crowds. Another thing was connecting with people in a deeper level really understanding the full spectrum of deep emotion found alot of new and odd music that I still listen to that I am grateful for completely took away doubt in terms of trying new things or going new places with out those little shapes I don’t think I would’ve had a glimpse of normal life without depression and anxiety.
It sure in hell helped me creatively not that I wasn’t without it because as a hobby I love designing and concepting things such as films ,books , animation even found that I’m pretty decent at rock music well back up vocals but that’s the beauty ig finding some sort of new talent
Where I messed up at is falling I love with the therapeutic aspect of it because I would take it a lot solo and dig with in my self to completely understand every aspect as well as other aspects of people psyche it was so refreshing to connect in this way… non the less good things can’t last for ever.
Lol as for pleasure ehhh I mean yes can be horny but not as it seems in media also for my males out there dude be ready for e dick 🤣 aka the shrivels
What it really helped me with is coming to terms with wounds from exs that never fully healed or suppressed especially with a girl which was my first long term relationship 5 yes
Helped me plan/focus on a way I wanted to be and self improvement I won’t say this for everyone though depends on how you use mdma
Helped alot with ptsd letting shit go and setting rules/boundaries
Had some killer work out sessions and improve my combat sports technique along with performance also actually listening taking in the coaching
The bad
The sweet release and momentum you get from them leads you to taking them everyday for me ig to be more consistent in mental mood (even though this would have the reverse opposite coming off the first year bad )
I found my self building a tolerance leading to dosing 3 times a day or taking a couple half’s max no I’m not a mad man I think I would be dead hell I’m not sure how I’m not dead with the abuse lol but sure I’m hell ain’t the same
I won’t say all the connection but a quarter of them where fake ig or not intense for the person once completely sober it can lead to of alot of truthful moments maybe not ready to be touched on or maybe the person/oneself can’t handle. Can say Boths builds or destroy relationships/friendships
The brain fog on brakes are shit depending on how active your day is can be tolerable what sucks it’s the frequent space outs and irritability
Idk if other hard users have or do experience this but frequent sleep paralysis no audio or visual hallucinations though
Please please I stress stay hydrated with water or the frequent urination will persist took me months after for it to get better still piss like a racing horse more then usual
Ehhhh depending on diet and fitness I found my self bouncing between 150 to 205 male in his 20s it will knock your hunger sometimes not eating half of the day
Some days finding myself wasting the day away hyper focusing on few things and not finishing them getting distracted
Another part where I messed up at was dosing in the morning I feel my not giving my body time to naturally register and then simply rolling to frequent
Leading up to the ugly I did take a month break but one night the night of clarity was when I started back up took 4 in a day idk how I didn’t od but definitely got serotonin syndrome which was hell lasted a couple days well the side effects
The ugly aka after
Dude the first year was hell I won’t lie mostly mental can’t say I suffered to many physical effects besides easier for body temperature to rise and memory
The first year was almost unbearable I’m a way it feels like a chemical lobotomy no emotions just the most intense extreme sadness sometimes not leaving my room
Weaker vision like in terms I can’t focus on things long like I use to before blurring or higher sensitivity to light/sun
Restless leg syndrome for a couple months and a cloud of anxious feelings Ovr your head like say when you’re in highschool and you get called out after school to fight the next day at lunch
Times of just spacing out staring straight forward
Chills and inconsistent body temperature
Robotic emotional responses noooo not even my favorite songs triggered anything it was just like blabbering in the background while I spaced out
Bad short term memory lost this has gotten better now on year two but memory issues still persist like if I want to remember a fun memory I have to really sit and think also not very vivid as it use to be to described in a story
No interest in simple human interaction such as a short convo improved after half a year clean
alot of light headedness through out day to day task with shortness of breath and heart palpitations but these all have dissipated thank god
It was weird for half a week one pupil was dilated
Frequent urination although has gotten way better i still have to piss more then I use to
This is a shitpost summery I will make a cleaner more detailed description of each part separately but feel free to ask questions below I just didn’t want to keep you guys waiting I’m pretty sure I’m missing some stuff but hey I’ll get it in the full individual post.