Persuasive speech on cosmetic surgery

The goal of this discussion is to find the best ways to respond to people who believe you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. But maybe, it could be useful for those of us who face transphobia in their day to day life.
I had the idea of this thread regarding the fact people have made a video targeting this sub.
STRATEGIES
1st of all, I think it’s very important to stay calm and respond respectfully. This way, we are showing them a mature behavior.
2nd, for me it’s important to point out the incoherence of their speech. They will not answer constructively but with some personal attacks or not at all. So we have to stick to the point and avoid responding to the attacks.
3rd, in my point of view, being factual is also a good way to push their ideology in its own limits.
Last but not least, maybe we should find a more respectful way to designated them (outside of this sub) instead of fetishists, trenders, tucutes and so on. It’s hard because it’s the truth for some but it will obliterate our points as they will focus on such word. So why not calling them “transgenderists” ?
Bonus, if we can have them lose their mind while being respectful, factual and consistent, they will decredibilize themselves.
RESPECTFUL PUNCHLINES
1) Sorry I’ve not understood LGBTQIAA2SP+ is all the same letter ? 2) Xenopronouns are more pertinent than the word transsex ? 3) Your labels are valid but not mine ? 4) Then I can be a cat, right ? 5) I remember I’m 8 yo now. 6) I’m pretty sure I’m black, I feel it. 7) Transgender wanting to be blend with transsexuals is clearly not a minority appropriation, sure ! 8) Why your feelings value more than those of others ? 9) How could you feel so insecure to admit some people have transsexualism but you ? 10) When a minority is not allowed to talk about its living experience, it’s called discrimination. 11) Should we also stop recognizing any other difference ? 12) You know anyone can adopt any gender expression no matter the sex or gender ? 13) Who said some people value more than others ? 14) Why some differences have to be said and other silenced ? 15) How do you explain surgeries have to be paid by insurances if it’s not medically necessary ?
Here above are just some ideas and my point of view. Please feel free to share your opinion, your strategy as well as your punchlines (respectful or not you decide).

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
欢迎联络Lily佛友：sunnypurplelily@gmail.com
或者加Lily佛友微信：HanJing20210820
Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

Are you looking for best Facial Aesthetics Surgery in Delhi? Dr. Athreya rajagopal is one the best Cosmetic Surgeons in Delhi and top cosmetic surgery doctor offers, cosmetic surgery treatments can be a small 10-minute procedure to hours long in duration depending on various factors. Similarly, Plastic surgery cost in Delhi and Gurgaon is going to depend on the severity of the condition, treatment, procedure, and individual requirements of the patient. However, a patient can discuss the approximate cosmetic surgery cost with their surgeon during their consultation to get a clearer idea.

If you have decided on a plastic surgery procedure you want to get and are searching for plastic surgeons in Gurgaon, you can book a consultation with the in-house plastic and cosmetic surgeon at Six Sigma Clinics in Nirvana Country, Gurgaon. Adhering to high-quality standards, Six Sigma Clinics has only the finest specialists affiliated with renowned hospitals in Gurgaon, assuring the best service available. Ready to take the first step towards your transformation? Schedule your consultation with us today at 9971558107!

So, this has been going on for 5 years and I'm reaching the point of explosion!!!!!
I'm (35) married to my husband (55)
He has a son (22) who has just gotten married to his wife (20). His son is a narcissist and has been that way since the day I met him. He is very talented at a number of things (motocross, golf, etc.) And he is a hard worker. By all outward appearances he's a good person and can be very kind at times.
The issue is that he is very spoiled and has always been given the best of the best. ($1,200 phones, $7,000 dirtbikes, the nicest clothes and shoes and blah blah blah)
His mother is loaded and buys him cars, clothes, coach backpacks, $400 shoes for no reason, spends $2,000+ on his birthdays and Christmases and just bows down to his every want and need
I was raised with the power getting shut off every 3 months bc my single mother struggled to keep the lights on. I shopped (and still shop) at thrift stores and I've NEVER cared about having flashy expensive THINGS. There is more to life than stuff.
Anyway... his son will always say things like "where did you get that shirt? Wish?" He will pick on me about my hobbies. Pretty much saying the things I enjoy doing are lame.
If I started talking about politics or any kind of REAL issues going on in the world he would dismiss what I'm saying and say that I'm a conspiracy theorist (meanwhile, his world revolves around tic-tok and video games)
After he got married things have gotten much worse. Keep in mind, his wife is 20 and I'm 35.
He will compare how she looks to how I look. We went on a boat trip and she wore a bathing suit while I wore shorts and a tank top. I'm not fat by any means, but I would LOVE to lose around 15lbs and have the flat little tummy I once did.
His wife is 4 inches taller than me and has huge boobs and a completely different body style. I never once compared myself to her or envied her in any way, but he will say things to me like "how much do weigh?" And then ask her how much she weighs...and then say "how do you guys look so different when your only 5-10lbs difference" he makes me so self conscious and insecure comparing me to someone who is 15 years younger than me FOR NO REASON EXCEPT TO HURT ME.
She says things to me too.
We were playing pickle ball today. First time I ever played and I was doing so-so
My team was behind and she hollered out to my team mate "do you want me to come out there and take her place" (talking about me)
If I try to have a discussion with her about anything she will find some way to argue with Mr and tell me I'm wrong and it's impossible to have any kind of real diologue with her UNLESS IT IS ABOUT HER AND HER INTERESTS
It gets worse
Me and my husband have a 4 year old daughter who was born with a cleft pallette in the roof of her mouth and she's had surgeries and is taking speech therapy and is doing great
Well, my stepson and his wife just had a baby (5 months)
My stepson (in front of like 6 people/family members) said to me "our son is perfect, what's the matter, why can't you have a perfect baby too"? THAT IS HIS FUKKIN SISTER!!!!!
I race motocross with them every weekend. It's my husband's son/family and we see them often
LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TIME WE SEE THEM ONE (OR BOTH) SAY SOMETHING CRUEL TO ME.
I'm a very encouraging person. My stepsons wife gained a lot of weight after her pregnancy and when she started losing the weight I'd tell her "you look so pretty today" or "you look great"
I have TRIED to lead by example and treat them how I want to me treated.
They NEVER tell me "good job" or say anything nice/positive to me. They feed off of hurting and picking on other people to make themselves feel better. They talk shut constantly and I'm nothing like that and don't want to be.
I smile and pretend things dont hurt me so that I don't rock the boat. I don't stand up for myself and don't even know how to.
Normally when I'm around toxic people like this I avoid them and cut them out of my life, but I'm at a loss for ideas and don't know how to move forward.
Any advice or encouragement would be most welcome. I've talked to my husband but he doesn't know how to handle it and doesn't want to talk to his son because his son picks on him too and my husband doesn't seem to care. I don't think he understands why I am so hurt/upset by it in the first place.
Mt husband always says "he was just joking" or "he didn't mean it"....THE GASLIGHTING IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent. God bless you all.

I 37F am scheduled for a surgery in three weeks. While the surgery is cosmetic in nature, it has been deemed medically necessary not only from my primary care doctor, my surgeon, but also from my insurance. My fiancé 39F of 2 years is declining accompanying me through this 4+ hour surgery. I live in a rural area so I have to drive 3 hours for this surgery and will be there overnight. First, she said she doesn’t want to sleep at the hospital. I suggested getting a hotel room and initially she said this would work. Now that the surgery date is scheduled, she said she feels forced into it and now the story is that she doesn’t feel comfortable having to drive me back home. She keeps calling me co-dependent because yes, I expected someone that claims they love me to be present with me when no one else is able to. AITAH for expecting her to be with me for this? I’ve already made alternate arrangements, but I am honestly flabbergasted that she doesn’t WANT to be there with me through this. How do I proceed?
UPDATE: We got into a huge fight last night. She’s leaving at my request. I cannot fathom spending my life with someone that views me as needy for requiring help after such a surgery. I’ll be on pain meds so I will not be allowed to drive myself. For those that said “ex-fiancé”, you are spot on.

Where are my fellow late term thumb suckers?!
I’m looking for your experiences with jaw surgery, palate expanders, or any other treatments that were successful by your standards. What prompted you to seek treatment as an adult?
Did you have double jaw surgery or…single jaw surgery? I don’t know the terminology. What was the result?
My story: I sucked my thumb until I was 11, never had a palate expander but had braces. I was sternly told I needed the expander and would regret not having it later on in life ⏰ aaaah.
I have: speech difficulties, major confidence issues, some trouble breathing but not to the point that it’s producing anything beyond mild sleep apnea, spill water while drinking and curse at myself for it, am a messy eater, jut my lower so it meets the upper teeth, I think I have a recessed chin, and last but not least kissing has always been awkward because my upper teeth are regal bitches standing in the way; protruding away a comfortable exchange.
I’m desperately trying to solve the problem for many reasons: my TMJ is worse than ever in my 30’s—I’m constantly moving my lower jaw around and it cracks/pops. I cover my mouth in public oftentimes when I’m sitting down and it takes a lot of effort to not do this. I usually want to decline going to lunches or dinners. Smiling and speech feel unnatural because of the lower jaw meets upper teeth move I do.
Ultimately I finally developed the courage to acknowledge these symptoms I’ve denied, and how debilitating they’ve been in having physical comfort and social success.
I can’t wait to solve this problem once and for all, and I really hope to hear your stories!

Has anyone gotten their thyroid removed from their body? I had an ultra sound? scan? done one it about two-three years ago and the doctor told me that my body has essentially attacked and destroyed it. I also was told I have a cyst and nodule on it but because it wasn’t deemed cancerous the doctor said to just leave it and check it again in two years. I asked if it could just be removed as a whole and he said it would cb e considered a cosmetic surgery. I also asked if we could monitor the cyst sooner and he made it seem like I was causing a problem. So I haven’t been back to him since and started seeing my GP for it instead and she has helped me a lot. Unfortunately, I moved 1,000 miles from here and she doesn’t do telehealth in this state.
Before I start seriously looking and spending money on doctor appointments ( because insurance copays and the nearest doctors being an hour away ) I was wondering if anyone has had any luck on getting it removed without it being deemed a cosmetic surgery.
Sorry for the word vomit, I just don’t have anyone in my family or life going through the same things.

34M Australia - 25/11/24 I had the following procedures (private):

• Colonoscopy (Sessile serrated polyps found during colonoscopy in 2021)
• Sphincterotomy
• Removal of third of forth degree hemorrhoids

Recovery has been far from smooth sailing and I'm still not 100%. I've been back to my specialist multiple times with reoccurring issues including sharp pain and bleeding (sometime spotting or more severe after bowel movements). I've been in a constant cycle of this reoccurring every month since the surgery.
I had appointments with my specialist on 24/02/23 and 06/03/23 to discuss my concerns. After having a physical examination on both occasions, I was told everything was fine. My specialist mentioned that there were surgical staples that were still in place, but that they would come out on their own over time.
As the months went on, I was still experiencing the issues previously mentioned. I went back a third time on 03/10/23 for a follow-up. During the examination, the specialist said that the staples were still there and decided to remove them.
I thought this would be the end of my problems, but the bleeding and pain still continued. It seemed like my wounds were not healing properly. I had another appointment on 14/11/23 and was recommended Botox as a solution. I agreed to go ahead because I was starting to get a little desperate at this point. The specialist said he could do it cost price. All I needed to do was purchase the Botox from one of his associates (GP) cosmetic clinic. I'm not too sure if this is a red flag or not.
I scheduled an appointment for 01/12/23 and was instructed to collect the Botox beforehand and bring it with me to the specialist clinic in an Esky (portable cooler). The procedure itself was quick, and I was looking forward to finally getting some relief.
As the weeks went by, I started to get some complications, including difficulty emptying my bowels, fecal urgency, pain that would last hours, and a buildup of pressure. It felt like I had a golf ball inside of me, and my muscles were trying to squeeze it out. At this point, it was Christmas time, and my specialist wouldn't be available until February 2024.
I went back to my specialist on 09/02/24 to explain my complications. After a physical examination, the specialist said that they couldn't find any issues and that everything had healed properly. They seemed perplexed as to why I had any concern about what was going on. After further discussion, they suggested that I probably have Levator Ani Syndrome and wrote me a referral to a physical therapist for pelvic floor therapy. I was a little dubious, as the symptoms I was experiencing started after I received the Botox injections, and I had never had these issues before. The pain I had experienced was due to the bleeding and reopening of my wounds.
Since then, the only contact I've had with my specialist is via email. Getting an appointment can take up to three months and past visits have mostly been essentially a waste of time. At this point, I was still having issues with bleeding, so my specialist requested that I keep a diary of when it occurs and take pictures as evidence. On 28/03/24 I had a pretty bad bleed, so I took a picture and emailed the specialist. They responded pretty quickly and remarked that this was unusual. They recommended making another appointment if this continued.
After this email exchange, I went ahead and booked a consultation for pelvic floor therapy. The physical therapist said that it will take up to six months to regain proper function again. Presently, my pain comes and goes. Some days are better than others. I emailed my specialist yesterday (13/05/24) with an update on my condition and the current symptoms I was having:

• Bleeding every few weeks, most recently on 11/05/24. It always seems to be in the same area. Roughly 1 inch inside at 12:00.
• Difficulty completely emptying bowels.
• Loss of muscle function in pelvic floor.
• Regular discharge of mucus.
• Irritation and pressure built up in the lower rectum.
• Persistent chronic pain.

They responded, but downplayed my concerns and recommended that I continue with the pelvic floor therapy and book an appointment after that. Then they would explore options for further testing if any issues were still present. I was pretty dissatisfied with this recommendation and lacked any concern for what I was currently experiencing. I reiterated my concerns again and expressed my frustration with the whole situation and how I believed the surgery was unsuccessful. The specialist responded in a really unprofessional manner, saying that I was inflammatory, rude, and disrespectful. I can't believe how arrogant and out of touch this person is. I've been extremely patient and understanding throughout this whole ordeal. I feel like my frustration and disappointment are justified.
I won't be going back to this specialist, but I need to get to the bottom of how this all even happened and who is at fault. Is it bad luck, or is this a result of poor care from my specialist? I've made a booking for a comprehensive examination of my pelvic floor at another clinic. Hopefully, this will shed some light on what my symptoms are and a way to move forward.

I recorded Weapon in 2003. Its soaring high parts were not a problem then obviously, I’d just done it. Twenty-one years later one might understand why getting through parts of that song are a challenge. I challenge any of you to do something as perfectly as you did it twenty-one years ago. I’ve never changed the key of the song, so it remains in its original format. And for the most part I still hit those notes, twenty-one years later. The same goes for a lot of songs.
I had vocal surgery in 2000 and had to learn to talk and then sing again. If you put on beautiful midnight back to back with the audio of being you’ll hear the changes immediately in how I sing. It was a lot of hard work and a very scary period in my life.
Thankfully, through the training of a speech pathologist, I was able to learn to sing properly. Before every show to this day I am given a one hour notice at which time I begin warming up in earnest. Such is the dedication to each performance that I am able to sing it in its entirety.
That said, given that I didn’t play guitar on this last tour I finally got a true insight into the audience’s participation in various songs. It blew my mind. Prior to it, my guitar primarily downed out was what going on in the crowd. But when I realized the true level of enthusiasm, even though I could easily sing the parts, there was something entirely memorizing about hearing the majority of an audience sing a chorus. It was as if I was transported back to the days of Queen and others when audiences simply took over. There’s a massive connection there, and one that impacts me just as it must the majority of them.
That’s live music. Either you’re there to experience it or you’re better off saving your money and just listening to the album at home.
Those moments, between audiences and performers are precious. They’re not done because you can’t sing the part, but because a massive connection is made.
It’s something I’ll continue to do, and if you feel you’re not getting “your moneys worth” then simply don’t go to live shows and listen at home to what you’re used to. Live rock and roll is an altogether flawed thing, and the day it isn’t is the day I’ll quit.

I’ve been re-watching episodes where Dr Bailey started out as a mousey intern, full of shyness, and severely lacking confidence, and became the powerhouse that she evolved into when she initially taught each of the original five.
Bailey loved each of the original five as her own children, that’s why she gets so frustrated when Meredith puts herself in these kind of situations. It’s a mother’s frustration, a mother’s love.
Lets examine Bailey over the entire series run.
She loved each of original five as if they were her own children, and thats why she gets so frustrated when Meredith does something to put herself in these kinds of situations. Its a mothers love…is it not?
I mentioned Meredith’s trial as an example yesterday, and i re-watched it closely and revised my opinion.
She knew as far back as season 3 that Meredith was a pain in her side. Remember the panties on the bulletin board?
Remember her being protective of Meredith and laying into McDreamy when he caught them in a parked car?
She also knew that Meredith had the makings of an excellent surgeon. She knew that Meredith had to go through the refiners fire.
Heres a transcript of her speech.
Dr. Bailey: 'Ever since I first met Meredith Grey I knew she was going to be a thorn in my side. You're worried about her breaking rules? Well, that's not gonna stop. She's been doing that since day one.
And, yes, she broke a law to save a life. So she deserved to lose her job. She deserves to pick up trash. No one should be questioning her license.
She's too good at what she does. And she's worked too hard to get to where she is. And with all that she has survived, it hasn't made her hard. It hasn't made her mean or cold. It hasn't made her not care.
It's made her better. It's made her better than anyone in this room. Well, except me. I'm Dr. Miranda Bailey, chief of surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital, and I approve this message.'
—————— my reasoning of Dr. Bailey at the hearing————
Bailey doesn’t try to lessen what Meredith has done. She doesn’t try to get her off the hook. She explains why Meredith is such a good surgeon and states that everything she’s been through has made her an even better doctor.
Meredith may make some interesting choices, and some of them may drive Dr. Bailey up the walls, just like children often do. But given their relationship, Dr. Bailey hated Meredith’s actions, but not Meredith herself.
Have you ever been in a situation where someone you loved and cared about did something you you hated and didnt approve of? Did you hate them for it or did you hate *what they did* but not themselves?
You can hate what someone does without hating the person themselves. That is what I believe Bailey has done. In the beginning of the series, she was billed as a not-see (not typing it out)
This was Dr Bailey’s first speech to the interns in S1E1
"I have five rules, memorize them,” she told the interns. “Rule number don't bother sucking up, I already hate you, that's not gonna change, trauma protocol…nurses will page you, you will answer every page at a run. A run, that’s rule number two.”
“Your first shift starts now and lasts 48 hours. You’re interns, grunts, nobodies, bottom of the surgical food chain,” she continued.
“You run labs, write orders, work every second until you drop and don’t complain. On-call rooms, Attendings hog them, sleep when you can where you can, which brings me to rule number three if I’m sleeping, don’t wake me unless your patient is actually dying."
“Rule number four, the dying patient better not be dead when I get there, then not only would you have killed someone, you would have woke me for no good reason, we clear?”
She was responsible for turning out excellent surgeons.
You dont go easy on them and expect them to thrive and survive. You go hard on them. But you want them to succeed.
Otherwise you are just wasting your time, your resources, and the lives of the patients that they lost.
In the current season, Dr Bailey is back, doing what she did in the beginning, but this time she has 20 years experience.
We’ve seen Miranda go soft on people during the series and we’ve seen that doesn't turn out very well. Remember what BCB is an acronym for? What surgeons need is tough love. What surgeons need is someone to inspire them.
Bailey may be straightforward, tough, and full of wit and wisdom. Without a doubt, she is a really good physician and an independent one at that. However that independence has cost her personal relationships such as Ben.
She hated that Ben became a firefighter and is how in a very perilous environment day after day, but she doesn’t hate the guy.
If anything, Miranda has become more compassionate and more open hearted…not hateful
Not too long ago, Miranda started a women’s clinic at the hospital and as a result of her hard work in the face of adversity from the pro-lifers, she wins the esteemed Catherine Fox Award.
How can you do something like that while spreading hate throughout the hospital? You cant.

I posted here a few months back asking for advice with making sure my nieces were safe when they moved to Chicago and my sister hid her address from everyone and wouldn’t let my nieces talk to any one of their family members for a while. A lot has happened since then and my sister filled the car up with things and left the state without telling anyone she was moving. Her kids and our grandmother thought she was visiting for a few weeks but it came out she was actually moving there which raised a lot of alarms for everyone. According to her she also did not inform her probation officer. She also informed us she was back with her abusive ex boyfriend who her daughters are terrified of and who she was dealing drugs for previously, and probably is again now. I will refer to him as D.
My uncle already called the Chicago probation and let them know my sister was in Pennsylvania probably without permission. She says she was called and told to come into the probation office next week (this Monday) and is now on her way back to Pennsylvania where she left the girls with our grandma while she went to get butt surgery done in New York over a week ago. In the meantime her oldest daughter has started to have breathing problems again, likely a combination of my sister smoking right next to them as well as anxiety. She was brought to the hospital a week ago because she was struggling to breathe and they would not take her until my sister comes back and brings her in.
When we try talking to my sister about how scared the girls are of D, she blows everyone off and threatens to remove the girls from our lives and says we shouldn’t be talking adult stuff to her kids. Mind you, no one is telling the kids things about D, the girls are talking to us about things that happen and why they are scared of him. When my youngest niece was in counselling her counselor informed me if D was still in their lives we may need to involves CPS. This is due to him kicking her out of the way when she tried to break up a fight between my sister, which is something she talked to our grandmother about around the time it actually happened as well. And her oldest would start flipping out crying and screaming when her little sister brought him up and would tell her not to even talk about him.
I am reaching out specifically because they were recently in the car together and D was slapping and hitting my sister while she was driving, causing her to swerve all over the road. My oldest niece tried calling 911 but hung up when D asked her what she was doing, and my youngest niece announced to the car and everyone after the incident that she was scared she was going to die. They also think a car was following them and called the police on them because they also visited D later (i believe) about this incident. This is not the first instance like this and I’m sure it will not be the last. My sister told them she wouldn’t bring him around anymore, then left for her cosmetic surgery, called them and informed them that he will be their new father.
I don’t give a shit what happens to my sister at this point is there anything I can do to ensure the safety of my nieces and keep them away from D? After all of this my family is saying there’s nothing we can do until she goes back to prison. Is this really the case is is there something we can do for them? Couldn’t CPS do anything to help? I am 2000 miles away but there’s also family in town with them who can help.

Sharing a couple of excerpts from this interesting (academic journal) article.
https://neamacares.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/Objectification-Theory.pdf
“This article offers objectification theory as a framework for understanding the experiential consequences of being female in a culture that sexually objectifies the female body. Objectification theory posits that girls and women are typically acculturated to internalize an observer's perspective as a primary view of their physical selves. This perspective on self can lead to habitual body monitoring, which, in turn, can increase women's opportunities for shame and anxiety, reduce opportunities for peak motivational states, and diminish awareness of internal bodily states. Accumulations of such experiences may help account for an array of mental health risks that disproportionately affect women: unipolar depression, sexual dysfunction, and eating disorders.”
And from the conclusion:
“There are multiple ways that women of all walks of life are able to resist and subvert the culture's practices of objectification in their own lives. Changes in bodily presentation, for instance, appear to alter the extent to which women are open for evaluative attention. Many women adopt conscious strategies for stepping out of the "objectification limelight," ranging from wearing comfortable shoes and loose-fitting clothing, to not removing "unwanted" body hair nor wearing cosmetics. These seemingly trivial practices of self presentation ought to be taken seriously by researchers. They may in fact function as efforts to resist sexual objectification, and thereby enhance women's psychological well-being within a culture that so vehemently objectifies the female body.“
Now, going a bit deeper into objectification theory for anyone interested:
A critical repercussion of being viewed by others in sexually objectifying ways is that, over time, individuals may be coaxed to internalize an observer's perspective on self, an effect termed self-objectification. Girls and women may to some degree come to view themselves as objects or "sights" to be appreciated by others. This is a peculiar perspective on self, one that can lead to a form of self-consciousness characterized by habitual monitoring of the body's outward appearance.
Although sexual objectification is but one form of gender oppression, it is one that factors into — and perhaps enables — a host of other oppressions women face, ranging from employment discrimination and sexual violence to the trivialization of women's work and accomplishments. Like gender oppression more generally, sexual objectification occurs with both "endless variety and monotonous similarity." The common thread running through all forms of sexual objectification is the experience of being treated as a body (or collection of body parts) valued predominantly for its use to (or consumption by) others.
The culture of objectification can:

1. Increase women's opportunities for shame and anxiety.

The habit of self-conscious body monitoring can profoundly disrupt a woman's flow of consciousness. As de Beauvoir wrote, when a girl becomes a woman she is "doubled; instead of coinciding exactly with herself, she ... [also] exist[s] outside." That is, significant portions of women's conscious attention can often be usurped by concerns related to real or imagined, present or anticipated, surveyors of their physical appearance.
Shame generates an intense desire to hide, to escape the painful gaze of others, or to disappear, alongside feelings of worthlessness and powerlessness. Women's ongoing efforts to change body and appearance through diet, exercise, fashion, beauty products, and, perhaps most dangerously, surgery and eating disorders, reveal what may be a perpetual body-based shame.
The extent to which body "correction" is motivated by shame elevates the task of meeting societal standards of beauty to a moral obligation. Thus, women who fail to live up to this obligation have been deemed uncivilized and immoral. The habitual body monitoring encouraged by a culture that sexually objectifies the female body can lead women to experience shame that is recurrent, difficult to alleviate, and constructed as a matter of morality.
Empirical studies document that women experience more anxiety about their appearance than do men. This appearance anxiety may have roots in negative early life social experiences, including histories of receiving negative appearance-related comments. Appearance is also fused with concerns about safety. Women's beauty has been likened to power. For instance, those who suggest that a female victim of sexual assault "asked for it" often refer to her physical appearance. Empirical studies demonstrate that more attractive rape victims are assigned greater blame for their own rape.
In short, a culture that objectifies the female body presents women with a continuous stream of anxiety-provoking experiences, requiring them to maintain an almost chronic vigilance both to their physical appearance and to their physical safety.

1. Reduce opportunities for peak motivational states.

Being fully absorbed in challenging mental or physical activity can be immensely rewarding and enjoyable. This state of "flow" occurs "when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile." Flow is a prime source of optimal experience, those rare moments during which we feel we are truly living, uncontrolled by others, creative and joyful.
Being female in a culture that objectifies the female body can prevent or derail peak motivational states. First, a woman's activities are interrupted when actual others call attention to the appearance or functions of her body. As early as elementary school observational research shows that girls' activities and thoughts are more frequently disrupted by boys than vice versa. Increasingly, these interruptions become infused with more direct overtones of heterosexuality, often drawing attention to a girl's appearance, weight, or breast development.
A person must necessarily lose self-consciousness in order to achieve flow. Just as intrinsic motivation is reduced when individuals are made self-aware, either by the presence of a mirror or a video camera, women's internalization of an observer's perspective on their bodies, creates a form of self-consciousness. This is the second way that women's peak motivational states are thwarted or limited.
We know from empirical work on nonverbal behavior that girls and women, relative to boys and men, restrict their bodily comportment and use of personal space. Two ways that this physical constriction can be linked to the practices of objectification. First, because movement itself draws attention to the body, it can increase a woman's potential for objectification. Second, and more critically, maintaining an observer's perspective on physical self forces women to simultaneously experience their bodies as "objects" as well as capacities.
By limiting women's chances to initiate and maintain peak motivational states, the habitual body monitoring encouraged by a culture that objectifies the female body may reduce women's quality of life.

1. Diminish awareness of internal bodily states.

Feminist poets and essayists have described women as alienated and distant from their own bodies and bodily sensations. These ideas fit well within an objectification framework, which highlights the observer's perspective that women often adopt toward their own bodies.
Multiple studies suggest that women are less accurate than men at detecting internal physiological sensations such as heartbeat, stomach contractions, and blood-glucose levels. Perhaps by consequence, women appear to make less use of these bodily cues than men in determining how they feel.
How might women's relative inattention to physiological cues come about? One possibility is suggested by research on dieting and restrained eating. Dieting and restrained eating require active suppression of hunger cues. Some have argued that the habits of restrained eaters may lead to a generalized insensitivity to internal bodily cues.
A second possibility focuses on the self-conscious body monitoring that occupies women in a culture that objectifies the female body. Because women are vigilantly aware of their outer bodily appearance, they may be left with fewer perceptual resources available for attending to inner body experience.
In sum, by internalizing an observer's perspective as a primary view of physical self, women may lose access to their own inner physical experiences.

1. Mental health risks that disproportionately affect women: unipolar depression, sexual dysfunction, and eating disorders.

Depressive episodes are characterized by prolonged depressed moods, loss of pleasure in most activities, or both. Experiences of depression are common in both women and men. Even so, women are about twice as likely as men to become depressed.
Loss of self(sometimes called silencing of self) results when, in efforts to smooth and protect valued relationships, women develop habits of censoring their own expression and restricting their own initiatives. Over time, habitual self-censorship can lead to a duplicity of experience in which outer compliance is paired with inner confusion and frustration, often with ensuing depression.
Research has found that girls and boys worry about different issues, and that the issues that most occupy girls — namely, personal appearance, personal safety, and interpersonal relationships — are domains in which exerting control and problem solving are difficult, and thus worries and rumination persist.
Having a female body, then, gives girls and women plenty to worry about and little to control. To the extent that a woman's body generates feelings of helplessness, it can also induce depression. Because women's prospects in relationships and in work often depend on others' evaluations of their appearance, women have less direct control over many of their own positive experiences. As such, women may have "lean schedules of response-contingent positive reinforcement."
Sexual objectification is also part and parcel of the sexual victimization and harassment that women experience at much higher rates than men. Several theorists have recently argued that women's experiences of victimization may account for up to one third of the gender difference in depression. *** Women report more sexual dissatisfaction and dysfunction in heterosexual relations than do men. Moreover, the incidence of women who have problems having orgasm is so high that this problem is almost normative. Yet research has shown that women and men are equally "sexual" in terms of their capacity for arousal and orgasm. So purely physiological explanations for this difference are unsatisfactory.
The most common and compelling theories focus on cultural double standards and the enactment of gender-role stereotypes in the sexual script that can limit the sexual experiences and expressions of both women and men. For example, heterosexual relations tend to focus on men's experience, and be far more permissive of men's active, even aggressive sexuality.
Objectification theory focuses not simply on women's enactment of feminine roles, but rather on their self-conscious body monitoring, body-based shame and anxiety, and relative inattention to internal bodily states.
First, chronic attentiveness to one's own visual image may consume mental energy that might otherwise be spent on more satisfying and rewarding activity. Sex researchers Masters and Johnson refer to the self-conscious body monitoring that occupies many women during sex as "spectatoring," and argue that this division of attention greatly hinders women's sexual satisfaction.
A recent meta-analysis of gender differences in sexuality confirms that women experience more shame/guilt and anxiety/fear about sex than do men. With these negative emotions coloring many women's experiences of sex, possibilities for enjoyment may be greatly reduced.
Third, sex researchers contend that orgasm often requires attention and responsiveness to internal bodily signals of arousal. Women's habitual attentiveness to external bodily appearance may lead to a generalized insensitivity to internal bodily cues. So, interoceptive insensitivity may be yet another obstacle to women's sexual pleasure.
Clearly the direct experience of sexual abuse, assault, or harassment also impacts women's enjoyment of sex. Research shows that for victims of such cruel and dehumanizing forms of objectification, sexual dysfunction and reductions in sexual enjoyment are common. *** Eating disorders are passive, pathological strategies, reflecting girls' and women's lack of power to more directly control the objectification of their bodies. Moreover, studies show that victims of actual sexual assault and abuse often show severe body-image disturbances and suffer from eating disorders at higher rates than others. This lends further sobering support to the idea that girls' and women's troubled attitudes toward eating can be intimately linked to the objectification of their bodies.
~~~~ So, that is my choppy kind of paraphrased summary of the article. 🤓

I'm 22 and from Greece and despite what the media reported about Gay marriage, this place is probably one of the worst in the West regarding Trans people. I have had Gender dysphoria all my life and was considering crossdressing on 2021, I didn't because I can't handle the stress. Fast forward a few years later I'm here, trying to get HRT. I'm very conflicted about it and if I made the right call and I really don't know what to think right now. I'm not Trans fem, I'm Gender Fluid but I would love to have a way more Feminine figure... Cosmetic surgery isn't covered by anything...
I'm very Masculine, plenty of hair, baldness starter recently and I was wondering if transitioning at 23 is "ideal"...

I'm from Greece and despite what the media reported about Gay marriage, this place is probably one of the worst in the West regarding Trans people. I have had Gender dysphoria all my life and was considering crossdressing on 2021, I didn't because I can't handle the stress. Fast forward a few years later I'm here, trying to get HRT. I'm very conflicted about it and if I made the right call and I really don't know what to think right now. I'm not Trans fem, I'm Gender Fluid but I would love to have a way more Feminine figure... Cosmetic surgery isn't covered by anything...

I posted over the weekend about my dad. He’s been bed bound since Saturday night when his right leg was involuntarily extending and retracting slowly for over an hour.
Got in touch with palliative Sunday and today my dad has accepted in home hospice. My uncle is flying out from across the country for a second time to help me since I’m the only one here (bless him - I was so anxious this morning about doing this by myself).
Originally just my dad’s right side was affected. Then on Saturday he could no longer pivot with his good leg. Sunday morning his speech seemed a little off and he’s been falling in and out of sleep with short bursts of being awake.
I fed him some chicken soup and that seems to have helped a little. He wasn’t eating anything solid after Saturday night. Sunday all he wanted was small sips of water and slept almost the entire day.
I had been through this with my mother when she had breast cancer but my dad was the pointman and I was helping out in between classes since I was in community college at the time. Now that I’m in the hotseat I don’t know how to feel. I knew things could get bad fast but it seems like overnight things tanked.
It’s been a little over 3 and a half months since my dad’s first and only surgery. It seemed like a long time at certain parts but it really is no time at all.
I got so much shit running through my head right now. I moved my dad into a new apartment after he was discharged from the hospital because his old place wasn’t fit for someone in his condition. I got a 5-month lease that expires August 1st, 2024. If it gets close to July I may have to get him in a hospice facility in order to move his stuff to a storage unit. I still work from home full time. Have no clue how that’s going to go. I’m just venting out loud at this point.
There’s so much to do.

BARPOD relevance: WPATH files/surgical intervention, strange internet communities; gender identity, Body-modification (Helen Lewis’ former BMEzine interest in episode 210!), potential new kinks for Katie to tease Jesse about;
Initial warning: NSFW discussion of surgery (in medical context and self-performed)
A couple of “interesting” unrelated stories in the last week that "maybe" have some interlinking ideas (feel free to challenge my logic on this!).
Obviously starting with the "main event", in the UK a ringleader of a pay-per-view website where users could watch men “consensually” having their genitalia amongst other body parts removed (the full case reports are harrowing and not for the faint of heart) largely as a fetish practice* has been jailed for a minimum of 22 years (actually an extremely long sentence here; by contrast a high-profile acid attacker received a 6 years minimum and served just 9 but that’s another story!). Now live-streamed castrations aren't exactly my cup of tea for casual supper-time viewing (Dr Pimple Popper on YT is more my thing), but I suppose the saying “one man's meat is another man's poison” is rather apt! The ringleader himself had also had the “surgery” (done with a popular brand of kitchen knife I happen to own as the BBC had to share - mine's used strictly for culinary use) to become a eunuch or a “nullo”. The case has called to mind a few prominent legal precedents such as R v Brown 1993 (confirming once and for all that hammering nails into certain sensitive body parts for pleasure is a crime - we Brits are such prudes!) or R v Peacock 2012 (aka the “fisting trial”) and where the murky question on the legal thresholds of consent were discussed.
'Eunuch-maker' mutilator jailed for 22 years - BBC News (worryingly BBC's reporting is tamer than others!)
I found the above an interesting contrast with similarly timed news on other bodily amendment: the article on the complex case of the man with Body Integrity Disorder legally having fingers removed (shared by a fellow BARPOD member, linked below), and an article (it's Daily Mail, but is 100% legitimate) on a wave of novel reassignment surgeries for nonbinary individuals (or "bigenital" or "salmacian" genders) available in the States. I had heard of “nullo” surgery (i.e. the Ken/Barbie doll surgery) as part of the WPATH “Standards of Care 8 (Section 88 referencing Eunuch surgery), but this newer surgery offers the option of a hybrid to ultimately have both a penis and a vagina. What does shock me is how unlike with classic transgender surgeries where there is a much longer history of research into both Gender Identify Disorder and physical/psychological impact of surgery dating back to the early 20^th century (albeit much we are finding now to be low quality), with nonbinary surgery there really is…. pretty much nothing. There is barely any scientific or even social consensus on how this identity is defined (no clinical thresholds like with traditional GID), only a handful of sociology surveys – this truly is “experimental” treatment, much akin to the advent of puberty blocker use.

Looking into one of the leading surgeons in this space performing this surgery (I won't name here to avoid any pile-on and as I think this discussion is bigger than one surgeon alone) it doesn’t give much reassurance for me – obviously they have all the appropriate medical qualifications for surgery, but also a degree minor in Gender Studies. I’ll admit perhaps an unfair mental stretch on my part but it did make me wonder the extent the known capture on campuses/medical academia in general PLUS in this case the more radical/laissez faire ideas coming from Queer Theory in these sorts of "grievance studies" courses, could influence upon into the boundaries a surgeon feels comfortable pushing (is it a case of “anything to satisfy the patients whims”). My biggest hang-up here is how these surgeons have now accepted that an individual could "naturally" and "healthily" desire something that they themselves have had to invent on the operating table (not found in nature beyond maybe some intersex deformities) - it feels very far-removed from wanting the bodily appearance of a healthy member of the opposite sex (e.g. a transman wanting pecs as per a biological man).

In terms of the crossover, whilst taking place in different states (UK, Canada, USA), I can’t help but wonder how different the first-mentioned legal case would have looked had the individuals involved essentially performing somewhat similar bodily modifications to find their “true selves” had actively identified as “non-binary”, BID, or “nullo” in the trial (even if superficially as a sneaky legal defence). Would they have received lesser sentences for being higher up on the “progressive pyramid”? (I'd place good money saying yes and the guy should look sternly at his lawyers for not suggesting this tactic!) - if he did would Trans Rights Activists and the non-binary community protest fiercely on the streets for them to be pardoned? - would left-wing publications like Pink News describe the case with more sympathy (e.g. how they were "let down" by the medical system for failing to provide accessible surgeries)?
*BIG caveat with all the above: obviously for the "Eunuch-maker" this was very clearly a kink/fetish practice (whereas non-binary surgery would not necessarily have any sexual motive, and is coming from a place of compassion, even if arguably misplaced), but given the extremeness and permanence involved and seeming "contentedness" at the results for him, this for me does almost cross the line into a Body Integrity Disorder space as afterall that too can involve a paraphilia. I do think it poses questions about whether kinksters could fall into using these new legitimate medical channels, and exactly how far we should allow voluntary body modification. I'm a lefty-liberal so my gut always leans to "you have one life, do what you want with your body", however my fear with the nonbinary surgery is this could go the way of puberty blockers and trans reassignment surgery whereby it is no longer a last-resort but advocated as the first and most appropriate treatment.
Inside the bizarre rise of the 'phalgina': Cosmetic clinics are offering 'grotesque' £10,000 surgery to craft non-binary people a penis AND vagina Daily Mail Online (obviously coming from a particular bias and not the most compassionately written, but does summarise the surgeries accurately)
Also mentioned:
Quebec man has two healthy fingers amputated to relieve 'body integrity dysphoria' : BlockedAndReported (reddit.com) (Eartern_Camera_2222's post)
R v Brown - Wikipedia
R v Peacock - Wikipedia (worth it for the cheeky photo alone)
Fantastic (and bizarre) long read on the Peacock case and others and this area: One lawyer’s crusade to defend extreme pornography Law The Guardian
WPATH World Professional Association for Transgender Health

So I’m - - + IDC, stage 2/Grade 3, 44(f), and finishing TCHP on 5/31. Have tentative surgery plan for lumpectomy and SNLB last week in June/first week in July. My tumor has responded well to chemo (was 2.5cm, shrunk to nothing, no longer palpable on exam). Having all the scene between now and end of the month then will meet with surgeon again for pre-surgical consult and scheduling. I’m also meeting with the radiologist first for pre surgical decision making. Surgeon thinks she won’t have to remove much and I will have a good cosmetic result, onc thinks a good chance of PCR though of course we won’t know for sure until it happens.
My tumor is/was on the right breast, at the 1:30 position, so it’s interior which I’m told is a rare spot for a breast tumor. My breasts are a small C. I have literally no idea what a post lumpectomy breast will look like, where the scar will be, how much shrinkage I should expect from radiation, etc.
What questions should I be asking? What’s recovery like? Where are the scars usually? Do they have to take out the whole site of the tumor bed to get clean margins if everything is dead? Is there a second incision for the SNLB since that’s over near my armpit? Will I likely need a lift or reduction of the other breast, or revision after radiation? If I have to get a whole bunch of surgeries I might prefer to go with a DMX and skip radiation…
And advice or personal experience welcomed!

I had a septoplasty with a turbinate reduction (essentially a non cosmetic medical nose job) and when my girlfriend was driving me home from the hosptial a young driver pulled out infront of us at an intersection right when we were passing through so we ended up hitting him. I was holding on to the "oh shit handle" in the passenger seat and when we hit him. I head butted my forearm because I had no time to react or brace. I remember collecting my self and calming my girlfriend down. I rolled my passenger window down , (he hit us in the front right part of my sedan. Bumper, grill, rim, etc. ) he immediately apologized, and I said to pull over right past the intersection on the side of the road. My girlfriend pulled over and I had begun to, for lack of better words, projectile vomit on the side walk. Being sick from anesthetic is normal for me unfortunately. My girlfriend immediately called 911 and both noticed that the driver kept driving down the road without pulling over and stopping. I collected myself and took pictures of my car and was sitting on the side walk when the police showed up. We didn't get his tag at the time but I ended up posting on my community Facebook page and thank whoever was watching out for me because they had a clear as day picture of the car. I have started an insurance claim but I have it on hold because I want the other driver to cover it. I also am not sure what else to do/proceed and I want to do this the best way possible.
Should I pursue pressing charges? What should I do about the fact that I was literally less than 30 minutes recovered from a surgery. It will be two weeks thursday and my nose still feels very sore and hurts to the touch. Not sure if it's just the surgery recovery, or if I could have possibly fucked my nose up again?
To be honest I'm young and dumb and I just want to handle this in the best way possible. Thank you all in advance.