Preschool and cooking
GlenAndFriendsCooking
2019.03.12 17:33 LeGourmetTV GlenAndFriendsCooking
All about cooking, food, recipes, culinary tourism, baking, bread, kitchen tools and equipment, beer, brewing, whiskey, whisky, wine - and videos about these subjects.
2009.11.18 20:01 feelbetternow Grilling! Tips and tricks for cooking over fire.
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2014.11.19 16:06 arizonabob Cast iron cooking and recipes
2024.05.15 20:09 madssaysugh Am I doing too much?
Nanny here. It sort of seems that there is an impression that nannies have a lot of downtime during the day, and this seems to be a big rational behind the low salary standard within childcare. I do not understand this impression at all, I personally am lucky if I have 30 minutes to myself just for lunch as I really have to make an effort to carve out time for myself during the day to sit down and take a break. I guess I’m wondering if this is really the norm for nannies or if I am just doing too much for too little.
Between dishes, cooking, laundry, folding, cleaning, engaging with the children, keeping them busy, getting them to and from school and activities, and going to the park, there is hardly any spare time to organise crafts or anything else, let alone sit down even just to eat lunch. There is never any situation where I would be sitting back relaxing while the kids play (they don’t watch TV with me) as there is just never enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. If the kids are playing independently, I am doing chores, and if I am not doing chores, I am directly engaging with the kids. I find myself skipping lunch often, at least once a week, just to keep up with the chores and manage enough meaningful time to engage with the kids. I end up on my feet working 9 ½ hour days with no breaks at all far too often (no I do not count the 5-10 minutes I sit down at the park as a break because it is not, I am on my toddlers’ asses the entire time we’re there so I’m lucky if I get to sit down at all).
I understand that many nannies probably are not responsible for as much as I am, but I know many nannies are and many are responsible for even more than I am. I understand that childcare jobs do often ask to waive break rights. When I worked at a preschool I waived my 15m breaks too, but I always received a 30m-1h lunch break in which I was free to do what I please.
I have managed to time the chores perfectly so that I have 30 minutes at lunch to myself, but if there are any extra chores tacked on like grocery shopping, marking cards for family, or if the kids need extra attention in the morning, my break disappears. Just today I was asked to return some rental suits (one of them was for one of the kids so it technically fell under my purview and I’m not one to argue) and of course they asked me to do it while the kids are asleep and their grandma is at home bc they don’t want the kids alone with their grandma, ultimately taking up my time for lunch. Anyway, I just do not feel that I am being paid enough to work this hard and I worked very very hard for my raise that brought me to just $4 above minimum wage.
It’s been two years of this now. When I first started, I mentioned to my employers that it was too much for me to do all of these chores, actively engage with the children, and still have an opportunity to take a break, and they literally just said “we expect you to be able to do all of this, you need to just do it all faster.” I needed this job and it was the best paying job I could find at the time in the area I needed a job in, so I couldn’t really just leave, and when I told them I would need to be paid more, they said they would just pass on hiring me. The first several months I maybe took 1-2 lunch breaks a week. As I have grown more efficient and developed my schedule, I have managed to take real breaks more regularly but it is still a battle every day just to sit down at any point.
I’m young (25), full of energy, type A, and passionate about this job which is the only way I’ve survived the past two years. I get that I shouldn’t accept a job for less than I think I’m worth but there doesn’t seem to be a plethora of positions offering salaries I would truly accept. I am leaving this position and relocating in two months to find a better paying position that gives me a more balanced schedule during the day. I guess I would like to know if this is a shared experience or if I just took on too much with this position. For those of you who work this hard too, what are you paid? I’m trying to gage what I should be expecting to earn going forward to take on this many responsibilities. On top of all of this, I also am trained in and follow RIE, Montessori, Reggio Emilia, and gentle caregiving. I have 5 years experience as a preschool teacher’s assistant and now two years as a private full time nanny (along with 10 years as a babysitter). I certainly do not think that I personally deserve to be paid more than other nannies, but I have trouble believing that the work I do and the experience I have is not worth a much more competitive salary just because I’m young and childcare is something that I naturally am good at and enjoy.
Anyway I’d appreciate any thoughts, advice, or shared or opposing experiences from other nannies or employers.
submitted by madssaysugh to Nanny [link] [comments]
Between dishes, cooking, laundry, folding, cleaning, engaging with the children, keeping them busy, getting them to and from school and activities, and going to the park, there is hardly any spare time to organise crafts or anything else, let alone sit down even just to eat lunch. There is never any situation where I would be sitting back relaxing while the kids play (they don’t watch TV with me) as there is just never enough time in the day to do everything that needs to be done. If the kids are playing independently, I am doing chores, and if I am not doing chores, I am directly engaging with the kids. I find myself skipping lunch often, at least once a week, just to keep up with the chores and manage enough meaningful time to engage with the kids. I end up on my feet working 9 ½ hour days with no breaks at all far too often (no I do not count the 5-10 minutes I sit down at the park as a break because it is not, I am on my toddlers’ asses the entire time we’re there so I’m lucky if I get to sit down at all).
I understand that many nannies probably are not responsible for as much as I am, but I know many nannies are and many are responsible for even more than I am. I understand that childcare jobs do often ask to waive break rights. When I worked at a preschool I waived my 15m breaks too, but I always received a 30m-1h lunch break in which I was free to do what I please.
I have managed to time the chores perfectly so that I have 30 minutes at lunch to myself, but if there are any extra chores tacked on like grocery shopping, marking cards for family, or if the kids need extra attention in the morning, my break disappears. Just today I was asked to return some rental suits (one of them was for one of the kids so it technically fell under my purview and I’m not one to argue) and of course they asked me to do it while the kids are asleep and their grandma is at home bc they don’t want the kids alone with their grandma, ultimately taking up my time for lunch. Anyway, I just do not feel that I am being paid enough to work this hard and I worked very very hard for my raise that brought me to just $4 above minimum wage.
It’s been two years of this now. When I first started, I mentioned to my employers that it was too much for me to do all of these chores, actively engage with the children, and still have an opportunity to take a break, and they literally just said “we expect you to be able to do all of this, you need to just do it all faster.” I needed this job and it was the best paying job I could find at the time in the area I needed a job in, so I couldn’t really just leave, and when I told them I would need to be paid more, they said they would just pass on hiring me. The first several months I maybe took 1-2 lunch breaks a week. As I have grown more efficient and developed my schedule, I have managed to take real breaks more regularly but it is still a battle every day just to sit down at any point.
I’m young (25), full of energy, type A, and passionate about this job which is the only way I’ve survived the past two years. I get that I shouldn’t accept a job for less than I think I’m worth but there doesn’t seem to be a plethora of positions offering salaries I would truly accept. I am leaving this position and relocating in two months to find a better paying position that gives me a more balanced schedule during the day. I guess I would like to know if this is a shared experience or if I just took on too much with this position. For those of you who work this hard too, what are you paid? I’m trying to gage what I should be expecting to earn going forward to take on this many responsibilities. On top of all of this, I also am trained in and follow RIE, Montessori, Reggio Emilia, and gentle caregiving. I have 5 years experience as a preschool teacher’s assistant and now two years as a private full time nanny (along with 10 years as a babysitter). I certainly do not think that I personally deserve to be paid more than other nannies, but I have trouble believing that the work I do and the experience I have is not worth a much more competitive salary just because I’m young and childcare is something that I naturally am good at and enjoy.
Anyway I’d appreciate any thoughts, advice, or shared or opposing experiences from other nannies or employers.
2024.05.14 05:07 WorldlinessMuch9861 Nanny Pay Charlotte NC
I made a post on care.com requesting a nanny that could also also homeschool my kids. My kids are 1.5yr and 3yr. I found someone that I liked and met her in person. She was introduced to my children briefly. I liked her in person and we started to discuss pay. This was her answer for rate:
"My rate for two kids plus homeschool would range between $35-$37. My current rate right now for is $28 for one kid, $26 if it is temporary and untaxed."
We live in Charlotte, NC. She has a bachelors in Childhood and Adolescent studies and about 10 years of combined preschool and nanny experience. I don’t need her to cook or clean just watch/teach my kids while I work from home. She also does not drive. Does this seem correct?
submitted by WorldlinessMuch9861 to NannyEmployers [link] [comments]
"My rate for two kids plus homeschool would range between $35-$37. My current rate right now for is $28 for one kid, $26 if it is temporary and untaxed."
We live in Charlotte, NC. She has a bachelors in Childhood and Adolescent studies and about 10 years of combined preschool and nanny experience. I don’t need her to cook or clean just watch/teach my kids while I work from home. She also does not drive. Does this seem correct?
2024.05.13 14:59 Rich_Pay_9559 Help for behavior at wits end
A literal cry for help
I have two sons I’m not sure what I am doing wrong I am a stay at home mom (I do free lance but only during nap time not while they are up)
my Almost 3 stomps at me defiantly says ”no you do it” whenever I ask him please pick up your toys or please close the door behind said toy room he climbs counters swings on fridge door yells and screams at me hits me stand and dance on chair will not turn to face table when eating and get his arm stuck in the chair holes he is constantly challenge me in general just won’t listen
My 4 year old stomps challenges me (newer behavior sees his brother does it ) defies me and then when I say ok no toys for a time or we won’t go to x y z today he keeps saying that he will and it’s quite frustrating to clarify he’s saying “yea right watch me still get it / do it “
I have regular schedules and I don’t know what’s going on I can’t even get a break because I I feel I can’t leave them alone even with my own mother because of their behavior (she’s a bit older and takes care of her own mother so I don’t want to burden or stress her read on to see why)
They are constantly destroying everything we have tables banging windows my 4 year old wrote in his room wall the other day you name it I’m always here if I’m cooking and they are playing this is when this happens they are often saying potty words like “I’m gonna put you in the toilet and poop on you” they call each other a “ca ca” where are they getting this from they are not in daycare (older one was in preschool briefly but started picking up crazy behavior so I pulled him out 6 months ago ) I really don’t understand where this is coming from they kick mock me mock each other sometimes spit and a lot more things that just really destructive, confusing and concerning I’m really at my wits end here what can I do ???
Even when I try to seek solace in the kitchen for a moment's respite, I can't let my guard down. A simple trip to grab a glass of water turns into a disaster waiting to happen, with one of them teetering on the edge of causing yet another mess. And the worst part? They seem oblivious to the chaos they create. When they see my tears welling up in frustration, they simply dismiss it with a casual "aww, the baby's crying," as if my distress is nothing more than a passing inconvenience. (Again where are they getting this from??) and if this is me a mom in my early 30s not sure my 67 year old mom who takes care of her mom can handle it and even if she could (she’s pretty fit and energetic) I would not willingly put any one through this..
I've read countless parenting books, scoured the internet for advice, and even attempted various strategies, but nothing seems to penetrate their defiant facade. Our days are filled with routines and fun, yet their behavior remains as unpredictable as ever. I've reached my breaking point, drowning in a sea of conflicting advice and despair.
They use to have (limited and supervised ) screen time things like miss Rachel Daniel the tiger counting and abc monster trucks but I wasn’t sure if this was causing behavioral issues so I’ve since removed tv and Alexa we literally have no screen time at all the behavior did not improve (or get worse either ) they are playing more together so I guess that’s good but all else remains. There is a lot more I missed dad is present but works a lot we have breakfast together Sunday mornings and dinner whenever he’s home he’s out to work 6 am to -8pm (I always have dinner with them ) his off days we have family fun day we are all together and dad is on the same page as parenting (we’ve tried gentle and Joe frost method ) but agrees they are getting out of control. Discipline methods have included talking it out, time out, removal or toy and or perk (the perk thing I don’t really like to do bc I feel bad if one behaves a bit better then he can’t go bc his brother can’t and I have no local help besides mom which I spoke about already and also even if I did I couldn’t put anyone else through this) I’ve tried explaining why said behavior is unacceptable as well.
I don’t know what to do they do go outside a lot we are doing the 1000 hour outside challenge so I don’t think is that routines are breakfast lunch nap snack dinner bed at the same time everyday. when I tell them to stop something they laugh at me maybe stop briefly then do it again when I tell one to not do something there goes the other one right behind him to do the same thing I said please don’t do (things like hitting pushing screaming kicking yelling ripping books )
Please, if anyone has specific recommendations for parenting resources or classes, I'm all ears. I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm running out of options. please be very specific I have a lot in my plate done so much research already so many conflicting advice already. It feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
submitted by Rich_Pay_9559 to SAHP [link] [comments]
I have two sons I’m not sure what I am doing wrong I am a stay at home mom (I do free lance but only during nap time not while they are up)
my Almost 3 stomps at me defiantly says ”no you do it” whenever I ask him please pick up your toys or please close the door behind said toy room he climbs counters swings on fridge door yells and screams at me hits me stand and dance on chair will not turn to face table when eating and get his arm stuck in the chair holes he is constantly challenge me in general just won’t listen
My 4 year old stomps challenges me (newer behavior sees his brother does it ) defies me and then when I say ok no toys for a time or we won’t go to x y z today he keeps saying that he will and it’s quite frustrating to clarify he’s saying “yea right watch me still get it / do it “
I have regular schedules and I don’t know what’s going on I can’t even get a break because I I feel I can’t leave them alone even with my own mother because of their behavior (she’s a bit older and takes care of her own mother so I don’t want to burden or stress her read on to see why)
They are constantly destroying everything we have tables banging windows my 4 year old wrote in his room wall the other day you name it I’m always here if I’m cooking and they are playing this is when this happens they are often saying potty words like “I’m gonna put you in the toilet and poop on you” they call each other a “ca ca” where are they getting this from they are not in daycare (older one was in preschool briefly but started picking up crazy behavior so I pulled him out 6 months ago ) I really don’t understand where this is coming from they kick mock me mock each other sometimes spit and a lot more things that just really destructive, confusing and concerning I’m really at my wits end here what can I do ???
Even when I try to seek solace in the kitchen for a moment's respite, I can't let my guard down. A simple trip to grab a glass of water turns into a disaster waiting to happen, with one of them teetering on the edge of causing yet another mess. And the worst part? They seem oblivious to the chaos they create. When they see my tears welling up in frustration, they simply dismiss it with a casual "aww, the baby's crying," as if my distress is nothing more than a passing inconvenience. (Again where are they getting this from??) and if this is me a mom in my early 30s not sure my 67 year old mom who takes care of her mom can handle it and even if she could (she’s pretty fit and energetic) I would not willingly put any one through this..
I've read countless parenting books, scoured the internet for advice, and even attempted various strategies, but nothing seems to penetrate their defiant facade. Our days are filled with routines and fun, yet their behavior remains as unpredictable as ever. I've reached my breaking point, drowning in a sea of conflicting advice and despair.
They use to have (limited and supervised ) screen time things like miss Rachel Daniel the tiger counting and abc monster trucks but I wasn’t sure if this was causing behavioral issues so I’ve since removed tv and Alexa we literally have no screen time at all the behavior did not improve (or get worse either ) they are playing more together so I guess that’s good but all else remains. There is a lot more I missed dad is present but works a lot we have breakfast together Sunday mornings and dinner whenever he’s home he’s out to work 6 am to -8pm (I always have dinner with them ) his off days we have family fun day we are all together and dad is on the same page as parenting (we’ve tried gentle and Joe frost method ) but agrees they are getting out of control. Discipline methods have included talking it out, time out, removal or toy and or perk (the perk thing I don’t really like to do bc I feel bad if one behaves a bit better then he can’t go bc his brother can’t and I have no local help besides mom which I spoke about already and also even if I did I couldn’t put anyone else through this) I’ve tried explaining why said behavior is unacceptable as well.
I don’t know what to do they do go outside a lot we are doing the 1000 hour outside challenge so I don’t think is that routines are breakfast lunch nap snack dinner bed at the same time everyday. when I tell them to stop something they laugh at me maybe stop briefly then do it again when I tell one to not do something there goes the other one right behind him to do the same thing I said please don’t do (things like hitting pushing screaming kicking yelling ripping books )
Please, if anyone has specific recommendations for parenting resources or classes, I'm all ears. I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm running out of options. please be very specific I have a lot in my plate done so much research already so many conflicting advice already. It feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
2024.05.13 14:53 Rich_Pay_9559 A literal cry for help
I have two sons I’m not sure what I am doing wrong I am a work from home mom (I do free lance but only during nap time not while they are up)
my Almost 3 stomps at me defiantly says ”no you do it” whenever I ask him please pick up your toys or please close the door behind said toy room he climbs counters swings on fridge door yells and screams at me hits me stand and dance on chair will not turn to face table when eating and get his arm stuck in the chair holes he is constantly challenge me in general just won’t listen
My 4 year old stomps challenges me (newer behavior sees his brother does it ) defies me and then when I say ok no toys for a time or we won’t go to x y z today he keeps saying that he will and it’s quite frustrating to clarify he’s saying “yea right watch me still get it / do it “
I have regular schedules and I don’t know what’s going on I can’t even get a break because I I feel I can’t leave them alone even with my own mother because of their behavior (she’s a bit older and takes care of her own mother so I don’t want to burden or stress her read on to see why)
They are constantly destroying everything we have tables banging windows my 4 year old wrote in his room wall the other day you name it I’m always here if I’m cooking and they are playing this is when this happens they are often saying potty words like “I’m gonna put you in the toilet and poop on you” they call each other a “ca ca” where are they getting this from they are not in daycare (older one was in preschool briefly but started picking up crazy behavior so I pulled him out 6 months ago ) I really don’t understand where this is coming from they kick mock me mock each other sometimes spit and a lot more things that just really destructive, confusing and concerning I’m really at my wits end here what can I do ???
Even when I try to seek solace in the kitchen for a moment's respite, I can't let my guard down. A simple trip to grab a glass of water turns into a disaster waiting to happen, with one of them teetering on the edge of causing yet another mess. And the worst part? They seem oblivious to the chaos they create. When they see my tears welling up in frustration, they simply dismiss it with a casual "aww, the baby's crying," as if my distress is nothing more than a passing inconvenience. (Again where are they getting this from??) and if this is me a mom in my early 30s not sure my 67 year old mom who takes care of her mom can handle it and even if she could (she’s pretty fit and energetic) I would not willingly put any one through this..
I've read countless parenting books, scoured the internet for advice, and even attempted various strategies, but nothing seems to penetrate their defiant facade. Our days are filled with routines and fun, yet their behavior remains as unpredictable as ever. I've reached my breaking point, drowning in a sea of conflicting advice and despair.
They use to have (limited and supervised ) screen time things like miss Rachel Daniel the tiger counting and abc monster trucks but I wasn’t sure if this was causing behavioral issues so I’ve since removed tv and Alexa we literally have no screen time at all the behavior did not improve (or get worse either ) they are playing more together so I guess that’s good but all else remains. There is a lot more I missed dad is present but works a lot we have breakfast together Sunday mornings and dinner whenever he’s home he’s out to work 6 am to -8pm (I always have dinner with them ) his off days we have family fun day we are all together and dad is on the same page as parenting (we’ve tried gentle and Joe frost method ) but agrees they are getting out of control. Discipline methods have included talking it out, time out, removal or toy and or perk (the perk thing I don’t really like to do bc I feel bad if one behaves a bit better then he can’t go bc his brother can’t and I have no local help besides mom which I spoke about already and also even if I did I couldn’t put anyone else through this) I’ve tried explaining why said behavior is unacceptable as well.
I don’t know what to do they do go outside a lot we are doing the 1000 hour outside challenge so I don’t think is that routines are breakfast lunch nap snack dinner bed at the same time everyday. when I tell them to stop something they laugh at me maybe stop briefly then do it again when I tell one to not do something there goes the other one right behind him to do the same thing I said please don’t do (things like hitting pushing screaming kicking yelling ripping books )
Please, if anyone has specific recommendations for parenting resources or classes, I'm all ears. I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm running out of options. please be very specific I have a lot in my plate done so much research already so many conflicting advice already. It feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
submitted by Rich_Pay_9559 to Parenting [link] [comments]
my Almost 3 stomps at me defiantly says ”no you do it” whenever I ask him please pick up your toys or please close the door behind said toy room he climbs counters swings on fridge door yells and screams at me hits me stand and dance on chair will not turn to face table when eating and get his arm stuck in the chair holes he is constantly challenge me in general just won’t listen
My 4 year old stomps challenges me (newer behavior sees his brother does it ) defies me and then when I say ok no toys for a time or we won’t go to x y z today he keeps saying that he will and it’s quite frustrating to clarify he’s saying “yea right watch me still get it / do it “
I have regular schedules and I don’t know what’s going on I can’t even get a break because I I feel I can’t leave them alone even with my own mother because of their behavior (she’s a bit older and takes care of her own mother so I don’t want to burden or stress her read on to see why)
They are constantly destroying everything we have tables banging windows my 4 year old wrote in his room wall the other day you name it I’m always here if I’m cooking and they are playing this is when this happens they are often saying potty words like “I’m gonna put you in the toilet and poop on you” they call each other a “ca ca” where are they getting this from they are not in daycare (older one was in preschool briefly but started picking up crazy behavior so I pulled him out 6 months ago ) I really don’t understand where this is coming from they kick mock me mock each other sometimes spit and a lot more things that just really destructive, confusing and concerning I’m really at my wits end here what can I do ???
Even when I try to seek solace in the kitchen for a moment's respite, I can't let my guard down. A simple trip to grab a glass of water turns into a disaster waiting to happen, with one of them teetering on the edge of causing yet another mess. And the worst part? They seem oblivious to the chaos they create. When they see my tears welling up in frustration, they simply dismiss it with a casual "aww, the baby's crying," as if my distress is nothing more than a passing inconvenience. (Again where are they getting this from??) and if this is me a mom in my early 30s not sure my 67 year old mom who takes care of her mom can handle it and even if she could (she’s pretty fit and energetic) I would not willingly put any one through this..
I've read countless parenting books, scoured the internet for advice, and even attempted various strategies, but nothing seems to penetrate their defiant facade. Our days are filled with routines and fun, yet their behavior remains as unpredictable as ever. I've reached my breaking point, drowning in a sea of conflicting advice and despair.
They use to have (limited and supervised ) screen time things like miss Rachel Daniel the tiger counting and abc monster trucks but I wasn’t sure if this was causing behavioral issues so I’ve since removed tv and Alexa we literally have no screen time at all the behavior did not improve (or get worse either ) they are playing more together so I guess that’s good but all else remains. There is a lot more I missed dad is present but works a lot we have breakfast together Sunday mornings and dinner whenever he’s home he’s out to work 6 am to -8pm (I always have dinner with them ) his off days we have family fun day we are all together and dad is on the same page as parenting (we’ve tried gentle and Joe frost method ) but agrees they are getting out of control. Discipline methods have included talking it out, time out, removal or toy and or perk (the perk thing I don’t really like to do bc I feel bad if one behaves a bit better then he can’t go bc his brother can’t and I have no local help besides mom which I spoke about already and also even if I did I couldn’t put anyone else through this) I’ve tried explaining why said behavior is unacceptable as well.
I don’t know what to do they do go outside a lot we are doing the 1000 hour outside challenge so I don’t think is that routines are breakfast lunch nap snack dinner bed at the same time everyday. when I tell them to stop something they laugh at me maybe stop briefly then do it again when I tell one to not do something there goes the other one right behind him to do the same thing I said please don’t do (things like hitting pushing screaming kicking yelling ripping books )
Please, if anyone has specific recommendations for parenting resources or classes, I'm all ears. I've tried everything I can think of, but I'm running out of options. please be very specific I have a lot in my plate done so much research already so many conflicting advice already. It feels like I'm fighting a losing battle, and I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
2024.05.13 02:31 Ecepro1776 How do I get my online learning platform into a library database?
How do I get my online learning platform into libraries?
Hi there fellow library enthusiasts, I am doing a bit of research here and wondering if anyone may know some answers I am looking for. I am a licensed teacher who left the school district to start a preschool out of my garage. I then went on to launch an online learning platform for 2-6 year olds. This platform has hundreds of on demand classes taught by 16 teachers (and always adding more classes and teachers) in things like reading, math, science, cooking, Spanish, yoga, art, dance, music, and more. It also has printable curriculum and interactive learning games. My library has online classes for grownups using Gale courses, but it doesn’t really have classes for kids. I have been marketing it to homeschool families, but I am thinking about trying to get it into libraries so the community can access it for free. I Won Nevada’s Early childhood educator of the year last year due, in part, to this program. I am a small, women owned business and it’s pretty much just me running things behind the scenes. I have had great success with my local preschool and want this online program to reach as many as it can, because it has been a game changer for all of my online parents. Even ones who don’t homeschool prefer to turn on one of my classes instead of YouTube or whatever else their kids were watching previously.
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
submitted by Ecepro1776 to Library [link] [comments]
Hi there fellow library enthusiasts, I am doing a bit of research here and wondering if anyone may know some answers I am looking for. I am a licensed teacher who left the school district to start a preschool out of my garage. I then went on to launch an online learning platform for 2-6 year olds. This platform has hundreds of on demand classes taught by 16 teachers (and always adding more classes and teachers) in things like reading, math, science, cooking, Spanish, yoga, art, dance, music, and more. It also has printable curriculum and interactive learning games. My library has online classes for grownups using Gale courses, but it doesn’t really have classes for kids. I have been marketing it to homeschool families, but I am thinking about trying to get it into libraries so the community can access it for free. I Won Nevada’s Early childhood educator of the year last year due, in part, to this program. I am a small, women owned business and it’s pretty much just me running things behind the scenes. I have had great success with my local preschool and want this online program to reach as many as it can, because it has been a game changer for all of my online parents. Even ones who don’t homeschool prefer to turn on one of my classes instead of YouTube or whatever else their kids were watching previously.
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
2024.05.13 02:30 Ecepro1776 How do I get my online learning platform into libraries database?
Hi there fellow library enthusiasts, I am doing a bit of research here and wondering if anyone may know some answers I am looking for. I am a licensed teacher who left the school district to start a preschool out of my garage. I then went on to launch an online learning platform for 2-6 year olds. This platform has hundreds of on demand classes taught by 16 teachers (and always adding more classes and teachers) in things like reading, math, science, cooking, Spanish, yoga, art, dance, music, and more. It also has printable curriculum and interactive learning games. My library has online classes for grownups using Gale courses, but it doesn’t really have classes for kids. I have been marketing it to homeschool families, but I am thinking about trying to get it into libraries so the community can access it for free. I Won Nevada’s Early childhood educator of the year last year due, in part, to this program. I am a small, women owned business and it’s pretty much just me running things behind the scenes. I have had great success with my local preschool and want this online program to reach as many as it can, because it has been a game changer for all of my online parents. Even ones who don’t homeschool prefer to turn on one of my classes instead of YouTube or whatever else their kids were watching previously.
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
submitted by Ecepro1776 to librarians [link] [comments]
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
2024.05.13 02:28 Ecepro1776 How do I get my online learning platform into libraries?
Hi there fellow library enthusiasts, I am doing a bit of research here and wondering if anyone may know some answers I am looking for. I am a licensed teacher who left the school district to start a preschool out of my garage. I then went on to launch an online learning platform for 2-6 year olds. This platform has hundreds of on demand classes taught by 16 teachers (and always adding more classes and teachers) in things like reading, math, science, cooking, Spanish, yoga, art, dance, music, and more. It also has printable curriculum and interactive learning games. My library has online classes for grownups using Gale courses, but it doesn’t really have classes for kids. I have been marketing it to homeschool families, but I am thinking about trying to get it into libraries so the community can access it for free. I Won Nevada’s Early childhood educator of the year last year due, in part, to this program. I am a small, women owned business and it’s pretty much just me running things behind the scenes. I have had great success with my local preschool and want this online program to reach as many as it can, because it has been a game changer for all of my online parents. Even ones who don’t homeschool prefer to turn on one of my classes instead of YouTube or whatever else their kids were watching previously.
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
submitted by Ecepro1776 to Libraries [link] [comments]
For anyone who has worked in libraries or has knowledge on this , how do they purchase online learning content? Does each library get its own login? Or would I sell them a certain amount of logins and people would set up their own account? My normal monthly subscription is $20/month when selling to families, but what would the pricing structure be for something like this? This is a very new idea, but I already have the platform built and running, so I’m just looking for more info on how libraries procure online learning content. I appreciate any insights, thank you!
2024.05.12 10:36 Hot_Mix_5997 Regreting Decision to Get Job at Military CDC - ADHD/Anxiety makes change difficult for me... and it has only been a week.
Hello everyone, I just needed a place to vent more than anything. Recently I made the decision to get a job and I'm regretting it.
I didn’t need too, husband is able to provide anything/everything. He didn’t wish for me to find a job but he didn’t discourage it either since I wanted to do it, it was all my decision (know that he didn't want me to go back to work because I have a history of it not working out for me, not because he is against the idea of it).
One of our children is 19yrs old and is in the states with her grandparents for college. Our other is 9yrs old and is in the third grade. While he is in school I liked to spend my days watching TV, cleaning, studying Japanese (we’re in Japan because he is military), doing hobbies, etc. while waiting for my son to come home. For some reason, I decided I would like to get a job in order to get out of the house more because I felt I was being very inactive and had started to gain a little weight and was feeling self-conscious about it. I’m 43 so I know weight gain happens. But I felt the best way to lose it is to be out of the house where I’m not tempted to sit around and snack. We have access to the on-base gym but I'm one of those people that unless I have a reason to go, I won't. I used to with my husband but he is on sea duty so is gone often. I don't have internal motivation to just GO to the gym.
So I got a job at our local military child development center (CDC). It is a federal position, so not easy to get but I've worked at two others before (though only for a few months at each, which was why my husband was worried...) - They hired me because of the previous work experience and the educational degrees (MA in Education) that qualifies me for that job but my MA in Edu. is for teaching ESL and I held a license for teaching K-12 and taught as an interum teacher for a few months here and there... I wouldn't compare it to working with infants/toddlers, they are school aged kids.
I also have ADHD and generalized anxiety and because of this I have a rocky work history and have never maintained a job more than a year at most - three months was the shortest and that was at the previous military CDC I worked at. My husband knows this and understands how difficult change can be for me. But again, I chose to pursue this...
This was my first week, working 9am to 6pm. The hours are so long!!! My son goes to after school care now and I pick him up around 6:10pm (it is within walking distance of home) and then by 8:30pm he is in bed. Before I started working, he would come home from school at 2:30 and I would have the entire evening with him. We would go to the park or go for a walk or he would help me make dinner, he loves to cook, or help with things around the house and now I only get 2.5hrs in the evenings with him and weekends are already busy since he goes to Cubscouts and other activities. It's only been a week and I miss him already...
It's only been a week and... I feel like a big baby and like I'm being ungrateful and selfish… I went home and CRIED everyday after work because I was SO tired and sore and missed my routine. I know some of it is because my period started this same week so that was awful timing on my body’s part and I also know it’s because my ADHD/anxiety makes it hard for me to accept change so quickly. I just feel SO MUCH regret and sadness over my decision. Monday (tomorrow) I am expected to start working in the classroom and I feel so anxious about it and wishing I could go back to the routine I had established.
My other worry is that they make me a Lead right away and leave me in the classroom, they are trying really hard to have my college credits evaluation for it because I did take 12 ECE credits while working at my previous CDC nearly 7 years ago. They are desperate for people, always understaffed, and two of their employees are leaving next month because of military PCS. I am deeply uncomfortable with being thrust into a leadership position based on education alone when I do not have the experience, there are certain jobs were I deeply respect experience over education and this is one of those. I'm worried they'll try to put me in the preschool room which had almost 20 kids in it with two teachers and from what I was able to observe during my training hours... it was... pretty intense, the noise, sounds, smells... it was all very overwhelming for me.
Again, this decision was solely on me… my husband suggested I try to work a week or so and see how I feel after that...if I feel okay, wait another week, re-evaluate, if I feel okay try another week and so on until I either adapt to the change or decide I really can't do it. So, that's what I'm going to do... I went through the long hiring process and then the training so it seems like a huge waste of their time and mine to just up and quit the moment I start to work.
I'm so sorry if this was just a long ass mess!!! If you read everything, thank you so very much....I really just needed to vent about myself and my poor decision. I just feel so lost and sad about my decision now that I’m actually working. I know a lot of it is that change if difficult and I'm mourning my routines and knowing that I don't need to work doesn't help me feel like I need to put my heart into it and I don't want the CDC or the children they care for to suffer because I can't keep it together. I’m going to reach out to our Fleet & Family and see if there is any chance I can get an appointment with anyone in mental health and I’m going to try to give myself some time to ease into things, take it a week at a time like my husband suggested, and speak with the site director about my worries/concerns because I don’t want to become a burden.
I can’t help take care of kids and keep them safe, happy, involved and engaged in activities if I’m a ball of nerves.
submitted by Hot_Mix_5997 to ECEProfessionals [link] [comments]
I didn’t need too, husband is able to provide anything/everything. He didn’t wish for me to find a job but he didn’t discourage it either since I wanted to do it, it was all my decision (know that he didn't want me to go back to work because I have a history of it not working out for me, not because he is against the idea of it).
One of our children is 19yrs old and is in the states with her grandparents for college. Our other is 9yrs old and is in the third grade. While he is in school I liked to spend my days watching TV, cleaning, studying Japanese (we’re in Japan because he is military), doing hobbies, etc. while waiting for my son to come home. For some reason, I decided I would like to get a job in order to get out of the house more because I felt I was being very inactive and had started to gain a little weight and was feeling self-conscious about it. I’m 43 so I know weight gain happens. But I felt the best way to lose it is to be out of the house where I’m not tempted to sit around and snack. We have access to the on-base gym but I'm one of those people that unless I have a reason to go, I won't. I used to with my husband but he is on sea duty so is gone often. I don't have internal motivation to just GO to the gym.
So I got a job at our local military child development center (CDC). It is a federal position, so not easy to get but I've worked at two others before (though only for a few months at each, which was why my husband was worried...) - They hired me because of the previous work experience and the educational degrees (MA in Education) that qualifies me for that job but my MA in Edu. is for teaching ESL and I held a license for teaching K-12 and taught as an interum teacher for a few months here and there... I wouldn't compare it to working with infants/toddlers, they are school aged kids.
I also have ADHD and generalized anxiety and because of this I have a rocky work history and have never maintained a job more than a year at most - three months was the shortest and that was at the previous military CDC I worked at. My husband knows this and understands how difficult change can be for me. But again, I chose to pursue this...
This was my first week, working 9am to 6pm. The hours are so long!!! My son goes to after school care now and I pick him up around 6:10pm (it is within walking distance of home) and then by 8:30pm he is in bed. Before I started working, he would come home from school at 2:30 and I would have the entire evening with him. We would go to the park or go for a walk or he would help me make dinner, he loves to cook, or help with things around the house and now I only get 2.5hrs in the evenings with him and weekends are already busy since he goes to Cubscouts and other activities. It's only been a week and I miss him already...
It's only been a week and... I feel like a big baby and like I'm being ungrateful and selfish… I went home and CRIED everyday after work because I was SO tired and sore and missed my routine. I know some of it is because my period started this same week so that was awful timing on my body’s part and I also know it’s because my ADHD/anxiety makes it hard for me to accept change so quickly. I just feel SO MUCH regret and sadness over my decision. Monday (tomorrow) I am expected to start working in the classroom and I feel so anxious about it and wishing I could go back to the routine I had established.
My other worry is that they make me a Lead right away and leave me in the classroom, they are trying really hard to have my college credits evaluation for it because I did take 12 ECE credits while working at my previous CDC nearly 7 years ago. They are desperate for people, always understaffed, and two of their employees are leaving next month because of military PCS. I am deeply uncomfortable with being thrust into a leadership position based on education alone when I do not have the experience, there are certain jobs were I deeply respect experience over education and this is one of those. I'm worried they'll try to put me in the preschool room which had almost 20 kids in it with two teachers and from what I was able to observe during my training hours... it was... pretty intense, the noise, sounds, smells... it was all very overwhelming for me.
Again, this decision was solely on me… my husband suggested I try to work a week or so and see how I feel after that...if I feel okay, wait another week, re-evaluate, if I feel okay try another week and so on until I either adapt to the change or decide I really can't do it. So, that's what I'm going to do... I went through the long hiring process and then the training so it seems like a huge waste of their time and mine to just up and quit the moment I start to work.
I'm so sorry if this was just a long ass mess!!! If you read everything, thank you so very much....I really just needed to vent about myself and my poor decision. I just feel so lost and sad about my decision now that I’m actually working. I know a lot of it is that change if difficult and I'm mourning my routines and knowing that I don't need to work doesn't help me feel like I need to put my heart into it and I don't want the CDC or the children they care for to suffer because I can't keep it together. I’m going to reach out to our Fleet & Family and see if there is any chance I can get an appointment with anyone in mental health and I’m going to try to give myself some time to ease into things, take it a week at a time like my husband suggested, and speak with the site director about my worries/concerns because I don’t want to become a burden.
I can’t help take care of kids and keep them safe, happy, involved and engaged in activities if I’m a ball of nerves.
2024.05.11 22:07 lessthanapenny45 Looking for a bestie!
I am 19 F and live in the US. I work as a Preschool teacher and need friends to talk to outside of work. My hobbies include: Learning about nature and the outdoors, hiking, reading/ writing poetry, music of all kinds and I’m currently learning how to cook so please share your best recipes!
DM’s are open😊
submitted by lessthanapenny45 to InternetFriends [link] [comments]
DM’s are open😊
2024.05.11 09:35 KitsuneKid99 After Luke's Season 5 retrospective, I decided to make a ranking of my own.
 | All of these are my opinions. I don't expect anyone to agree with me, especially on a season as divisive as this. submitted by KitsuneKid99 to spongebob [link] [comments] Episode Ranking (From Favorite to Least Favorite, start at the bottom):
Tier List: https://preview.redd.it/157yfrnigpzc1.png?width=1140&format=png&auto=webp&s=6c85a641abe395b91495bd6b5c4feaa8186034ee |
2024.05.10 19:37 SRBias I (50 M) just learned my spouse (47 F) was unfaithful years ago in marriage. She came clean from guilt. Where do I go from here?
This will be quite a lengthy read because I'm laying out everything to get honest opinions with all the context. There's a TLDR at the end for those who'd rather skip the backstory. I know that most people go incognito with a throwaway account for this kind of post. But I wanted this to be authentic, using my real account. I didn't want anyone to think this was disingenuous. If we know each other in real life or you find me on my other socials, let's keep our chats here or in PMs. I don't want anyone harassing anybody, and I have a sixteen-year-old daughter who has been spared this drama so far.
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.
submitted by SRBias to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I tied the knot shortly after high school, and let's just say, if my marriage were a collegiate course, it would be "F*** Up - 101." It was a masterclass in what not to do, featuring every red flag in the book. I was fresh-faced and barely off on my life journey, thinking I'd hit the jackpot. I'd assumed I'd accomplished what my parents did, that being the poster couple for marital bliss. I was so naive, always giving the benefit of the doubt. Meanwhile, my then-wife, fresh from escaping her parental fortress of solitude, went bat s*** crazy, deciding that 'living life to the fullest' didn't include me in the picture.
Before I knew it, I was Mr. Mom with our toddler while she was trapped underneath a few individuals, making up for lost time. After finally catching her in the act, I filed for a divorce and braced for the impact. Divorcing in '97 in the heart of the bible belt was not favorable towards the husband back then. What followed was straight out of a horror movie. I paid my attorney five thousand dollars to watch her take everything from my guitars and video games. She even claimed keepsakes from a departed relative, and the judge seemed happy to grant her every wish. Not only did I bid farewell to everything I owned, but my time with my son got slashed to a mere Wednesday afternoon and alternating weekends.
My faith in women was broken. I went on a few dates here and there but mostly kept it to casual encounters and dinners. I never let anyone get too close. But, in early 1999, at a friend's birthday party, I met a woman whose marriage had crashed harder than mine. She'd had a stillbirth six months into her pregnancy, and her husband dared to bring his girlfriend to the funeral. She was heartbroken, to say the least, to learn about her husband's affair and the end of her marriage on the day they laid her daughter to rest. We sat on a couch that night, swapping tales of romantic ruin. She was clever, and to me, that is an instant connection. It's rare for me to find someone who makes me laugh instead of vice versa. As I headed home, I couldn't shake her from my thoughts, kicking myself for not asking for her number.
The next, my phone rang, and it was her! She'd gotten my phone number from someone we both knew and asked: "Would you like to get food sometime?" I said, "Now sounds great!" So, I drove to her grandmother's house, and off we went on what turned out to be what I still consider the perfect date. Now, I get it; we were both lonely and had our hearts broken, but trust me, this was no spark; it was an inferno. And believe it or not, we've been inseparable since that day. We have not spent a night apart. That was twenty-five years ago, with us marrying a year after our meeting. Go ahead and facepalm, I know how it sounds, but it's hard to put the connection between us into words. Even I'm still shaking my head in disbelief.
Our families adored the two of us together. I was certain I had found my soulmate, if you believe in that, and I was certain she felt the same. We enjoyed each other's company, and our lives meshed perfectly. As with life, however, it finds those moments of bliss to take a giant s*** on you. In 2006, I began feeling ill; eating resulted in violent illness, which I initially thought was a virus. But after a week with no improvement, it was clear this was something else. I was admitted to the local hospital and underwent numerous tests. When I was first admitted, I weighed 222 pounds at a height of 6'2". Within a year, I had dropped to 146 pounds, and my condition dumbfounded the doctors. My health was deteriorating rapidly. Throughout the ordeal, she never left my side, her hand in mine, begging me not to leave her.
In late 2007, a last-ditch effort sent me to the Cleveland Clinic, where a young doctor rushed me into surgery. When I awoke three hours later, she was there, hand in mine, with a smile. It was a success; I was cured. While I'll spare you the details, it involved my colon. Finally, I could eat and move without agony. My life resumed, and we were happy again. The following year, she received a lucrative job offer in her field, earning more than I did. That didn't bother me at all; she worked hard, and she'd earned it.
After her miscarriage, my wife was unable to conceive. We had been trying since 2000 and eventually came to terms with the fact that it might not happen. In 2010, we got a call from the state of Minnesota about a two-year-old girl who had been taken from her mother due to drug-related charges. They asked if we would consider adopting her because the mother had requested she be placed with family members before her parental rights were terminated. My wife and I drove for 30 hours to meet her, and after a few months, we adopted her and welcomed her into our home.
Our daughter faced social challenges and had endured abuse, leading the two of us to decide one of us needed to be at home with her. As mentioned, my wife earned significantly more, so it made sense for me to be the one to step into the role. I dedicated each day to supporting our daughter's mental health. While I played a part, I can't claim all the credit for this; her preschool, kindergarten, and therapist were instrumental in her learning to socialize and trust again. Eventually, I took up freelance journalism, so I was home when our little one finished her school day.
Our evenings were family time, and we took small trips on weekends. It was in 2017 that my wife returned from work one evening, deeply shaken by what she told me was a workplace argument. Despite my attempts to console her, she remained incorrigible. She was declaring her intent to find a new job. She'd never had any issues before, so I was stunned. For days, she was a mess and withdrawn. When I pressed for details, she'd say, "It would only upset you. Let me deal with it."
True to her word, she left for a new company within a week, accepting a 15 percent reduction in pay. I should have questioned it then, but she never gave me cause for concern. Once she began her new role, life returned to normal, and our family happily moved forward. In 2022, I published my first novel with an independent publisher, fulfilling a lifelong dream. I could sense the pride emanating from both my wife and daughter. I had achieved this milestone before my fiftieth birthday, and I couldn't wait to start on my second one.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, this is where my world breaks. In 2023, as I was finishing up my new novel, my twenty-seven-year-old son from my first marriage died suddenly of a heart attack. He had an underlying condition that none of us knew about. I want everyone to understand that when you say, "I couldn't imagine my child dying," you truly can't. There is no pain quite like it. My wife and daughter, who also felt his loss deeply, did their best to support me. But there is no way to deal with such a tragedy. In the months following his death, I immersed myself in my work, striving to complete my second book for him.
On the day I finished it in January, my father passed away after a long battle. Dad had been ill for a long time. You think you can prepare yourself for that, but that's a lie you tell yourself. The loss was hard, and my daughter was instrumental in getting me back on my feet. My second book was released in February, and I tried to smile as I had my release party. At the beginning of April, I started feeling better, writing outlines for my third novel and doing the same things I'd always done with my wife and daughter.
My wife and I have a Wednesday tradition where she picks a random recipe she finds online, and we cook it together. On April 3rd, while making crockpot chicken tacos, I thanked her for everything. She asked why, and I thanked her for everything she'd done to get me through the tough times. I shared a lot of pent-up emotions, telling her I couldn't have managed without her. She started crying, then weeping, and soon she was sobbing uncontrollably. I tried to comfort her with a hug, but she pushed me away. I apologized, not realizing my words would stir such a reaction.
Suddenly, she confesses her infidelity. I laughed, mistaking it for a joke. She grabs my shoulders and then details how, back in 2017, a 28-year-old at her former job started flirting with her, and she reciprocated. She believed it was innocent, yet it persisted. My wife has always feared growing old. Her birthdays were days she dreaded every year. She admitted that the attention from a younger man was exhilarating. She told me that turning 40 had sent her into a tailspin and that she couldn't talk to me about it because I would have just shrugged it off.
He invited her to leave work early and come to his place one day. She couldn't understand why she chose to; maybe it was the thrill. She said she didn't know, but she went and ended up sleeping with him. Afterward, she felt terrible, glaring at her keychain in his driveway because it had a photo of me holding our daughter. She drove home, and that's when she lied about having a workplace argument. She never wanted to return there. It's why she suddenly went somewhere else. She then told me she wanted to tell me but didn't have the fortitude to do it.
I remained silent, just wide-eyed and open-mouthed. She apologized, saying she couldn't live with it any longer. I just shook my head, unable to speak a single word. She offered to leave if that's what I wanted, to attend counseling, or even to beg for my forgiveness. Instead, I picked up my AirPods and phone and walked out. I wandered from six in the evening until almost eleven that night. When I returned, she was on the loveseat, asking if I was ready to talk. I shook my head again, went to my office, where I had a couch, and slept there.
The next day, after our daughter left for school, she asked if I had anything to say. I said yes. I questioned why she brought this up after the worst year of my life. Why couldn't she have kept it to herself until I could somewhat deal with something of this magnitude? She just looked away. I scoffed and told her to go to work and to try not to f*** anyone during her lunch break. That would have been April 4th; those were the last words I said to her until last night.
She had attempted to talk to me several times, but I would just walk past her into my office, trying to focus on my upcoming science fiction comedy book. Writing something funny is challenging when the thought of your spouse rolling around with another man stuck in her consumes your thoughts. A week ago, my daughter asked in the car if everything was okay, and I lied to her, which made me feel sick. Then, last night, my wife came to the office door and asked, "Are we getting a divorce?" I looked at her and replied, "Looks like it." She started crying and closed the door.
I haven't consulted an attorney, and the thought of divorce hadn't crossed my mind until she mentioned it. That's why I wrote this essay. Where do I go from here? How do I start to untangle this mess? I have no desire for therapy. I don't even want to step outside. I'm broken at this moment. The burden of everything has been overwhelming. There's been so much to bear this past year. What do you say to someone who has been by your side through it all, only to tear your heart apart?
Thank you for reading to the end. And for those who are part of the TLDR crowd, my wife decided to go home with a younger man, felt guilty about it, and quit her job. She waited eight years to tell me about it.
2024.05.10 16:37 runtk Full day Montessori for 2 year old
Hi there, new member here.
After two years with a full-time nanny, we're considering putting our son in a full-time Montessori program in the fall, when he would be ~26 months old. I am new to the Montessori method, but I am confident my child will like the program (very independent, likes to do chores and cook, completely mesmerized by sensory activities.)
My only question is when. I'm afraid he's young and might be overwhelmed by a full-day program.
Those of you who work with 2s or have/had 2 year olds in full-time programs, how was the transition from home to a full-day program? What are the benefits at this age? Any downsides? Any tips?
ETA: Starting him in the fall would allow him to have a year in school before his expected younger sibling needs care, at which point we'd likely scale him back to 3x a week for financial reasons. Part of my thought process is having a consistent preschool will help the transition as a sibling, as he won't be with baby 24/7.
submitted by runtk to Montessori [link] [comments]
After two years with a full-time nanny, we're considering putting our son in a full-time Montessori program in the fall, when he would be ~26 months old. I am new to the Montessori method, but I am confident my child will like the program (very independent, likes to do chores and cook, completely mesmerized by sensory activities.)
My only question is when. I'm afraid he's young and might be overwhelmed by a full-day program.
Those of you who work with 2s or have/had 2 year olds in full-time programs, how was the transition from home to a full-day program? What are the benefits at this age? Any downsides? Any tips?
ETA: Starting him in the fall would allow him to have a year in school before his expected younger sibling needs care, at which point we'd likely scale him back to 3x a week for financial reasons. Part of my thought process is having a consistent preschool will help the transition as a sibling, as he won't be with baby 24/7.
2024.05.10 03:00 Roobeesmycat How to reduce my wife’s stress and frustration with our 2+ kids
I work 7-3:30pm in office. I’m home at 4. I wash dishes, cook most meals and I switched my main hobby to be walking so I get home and after an hour take the stroller with two kids. My wife likes to come as well but my goal was to give her some alone time since she was asking for that but then changed her mind.
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer.
Thanks
submitted by Roobeesmycat to daddit [link] [comments]
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer.
Thanks
2024.05.10 02:58 Roobeesmycat Asking for tips on helping with wife’s stress levels
How to keep wife (mother of 3) sane?
I work 7-3:30pm in office. I’m home at 4. I wash dishes, cook most meals and I switched my main hobby to be walking so I get home and after an hour take the stroller with two kids. My wife likes to come as well but my goal was to give her some alone time since she was asking for that but then changed her mind.
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer
submitted by Roobeesmycat to dad [link] [comments]
I work 7-3:30pm in office. I’m home at 4. I wash dishes, cook most meals and I switched my main hobby to be walking so I get home and after an hour take the stroller with two kids. My wife likes to come as well but my goal was to give her some alone time since she was asking for that but then changed her mind.
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer
2024.05.10 02:31 Roobeesmycat How to keep wife (mother of 3) sane
I work 7-3:30pm in office. I’m home at 4. I wash dishes, cook most meals and I switched my main hobby to be walking so I get home and after an hour take the stroller with two kids. My wife likes to come as well but my goal was to give her some alone time since she was asking for that but then changed her mind.
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer
submitted by Roobeesmycat to AskParents [link] [comments]
My kids are really loud and argumentative and it stresses my wife out all day. We can’t afford preschool for our oldest, 3 year old. My wife has a teaching degree and doesn’t like teaching so she takes care of the kids. My wife wants to get some kind of certificate so she can get a remote coding job, but she can’t focus during the day (she’s pregnant).
We tried the ymca a little bit for daycare and my daughter was scared we were going to abandon her so she screamed and then the staff came to find us frantically. We haven’t tried too much of that again. We took the kids to a new church on sundays and they at least like the sunday school there so it’s theoretically possible they could adjust to some kind of daycare (that we can’t afford).
My wife has a hard time making and doing plans with friends. She’s had a few mentally unstable friends and family so I guess that makes sense but she’s still trying.
I honestly am not sure what to do. Bed time is really hard and she yells at the kids from how frustrated she is from being with them all day. When I call during work breaks the kids are screaming all crazy and I kind of understand the frustration. Sometimes my daughter stays with my MIL for a day or two but then my wife talks about how much she misses her and how she’s guilty about feeling relieved. I think bed time has gotten a little easier now that I have put the kids on a schedule to try to be in bed at 9pm. The kids get up at 8am or 10am.
Hope I don’t come off in a bad way. English is my second language and I’m an engineer
2024.05.09 19:20 bootyflakes_420 Yall r dumb.
I feel like this post is directed to whoever correlates to what I have to say. But basically this whole post is a rant about how dumb some of you guys are, and just lack most brainless. For instance, if you get in a relationship with a girl/guy who you know dresses a bit revealing, why get mad when they continue to do so? That's your own fault for being with someone like that. Same thing if they have a friend of the opposite sex, why get mad? You knowingly got with them, so why try to break that friendship apart? Also PPD and PPP are real thing that mothers face after pregnancy. NO, a biological male cannot go through those things because for one they aren't the ones who weren't pregnant 9months and so fourth of fucking hormone rollercoaster. NO, I will not defend mother's who murder their kids because of those mental illnesses, but it's a reason/explanation as to why mother's get angry easily and just overall more fustereated. I also notice the real shitty fathers and mothers on this app. Do better. One day you'll be sitting in your soiled diaper because you chose to not be nice you your kids when they were younger. Not to mention strict parents. I get the no social media and sleepover, but everything else is why some of your kids either become college dropouts or socially awkward adults. Also ladies why do yall expect a man to take care of you (letting you be a STAHW or STAHM) and you can't cook, clean, and overall just a POS. Fellas, why are yall expecting a women who cooks, cleans, and acts like a Saint when you can't even provide for yourself or take her on nice dates? I think the least of out worries is adult who live with their parents past 23 years old, and let's worry about the fact 5 items from a grocery store is $35+. I also don't think that you can ever come back from being a sex offender (unless it's unserious like you were caught peeing outside or having sex in your car). I also belive murderers deserve second chances (if it was self defense or manskaughter). Hitting g your kids is never okay. As someone who was hit as a form of discipline, I became violent and just overall had anger issues. Majority of the prison system is people who were hit as form of discipline, can't remeber where I found the statistics. I also firmly believe gently parenting doesn't work. Athorative parenting is where it's at. It's firm and you don't have beat your kids for them to listen. I also firmly believe you lack emotional intelligence of a preschooler if you have to hit in order for your kids to listen to you. I'd also rather have a stoner parent of an alcoholic one (Speaking from someone who's had a drunk father).
I also rather be known as a racist rather than kid/adult fiddler.
submitted by bootyflakes_420 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I also rather be known as a racist rather than kid/adult fiddler.
2024.05.08 20:48 pdlbean Torn between two schools
Hi, I'm a parent to a 3 year old boy. Right now he is enrolled in a parent participation play based preschool that we love. Unfortunately, they may have to close their doors after this school year so we have been looking for an alternative. We have narrowed it down to two.
The first school is on the campus of a junior college. It is where ECE students get their practicum hours, supervised by two ECE professionals. It is free flow play with inside and outside time. It has different tactile and imaginative play areas as well as access to art supplies. They do snack time and group time (music and movement plus storytime). They have access to the agriculture department of the school as well as the campus library and campus museum about the local area. There is a semester-long art project the kids contribute to. It is 3 hours a day twice a week. This school is the most similar to the one we currently attend.
The second school has a bit more structure. 1:12 ratio. 4 hours a day twice a week. In this four hours the kids have 1 hour and 15 minutes of outside time, 1 hour of free play inside (including dramatic play stations, art projects, and play and art related to the theme of the week), 15 minutes music and movement, 15 minutes focus on a letter and shape of the day, 15 minutes storytime, and 15 minutes writing practice (not in this exact order). It includes a 30 minute lunch and 15 minute snack. We liked the different theme weeks of community helpers, dinosaurs, and cooking. We also liked that it has a HUGE play yard with two big toys and many smaller activities.
My husband and I are torn. We would appreciate any thoughts.
submitted by pdlbean to ECEProfessionals [link] [comments]
The first school is on the campus of a junior college. It is where ECE students get their practicum hours, supervised by two ECE professionals. It is free flow play with inside and outside time. It has different tactile and imaginative play areas as well as access to art supplies. They do snack time and group time (music and movement plus storytime). They have access to the agriculture department of the school as well as the campus library and campus museum about the local area. There is a semester-long art project the kids contribute to. It is 3 hours a day twice a week. This school is the most similar to the one we currently attend.
The second school has a bit more structure. 1:12 ratio. 4 hours a day twice a week. In this four hours the kids have 1 hour and 15 minutes of outside time, 1 hour of free play inside (including dramatic play stations, art projects, and play and art related to the theme of the week), 15 minutes music and movement, 15 minutes focus on a letter and shape of the day, 15 minutes storytime, and 15 minutes writing practice (not in this exact order). It includes a 30 minute lunch and 15 minute snack. We liked the different theme weeks of community helpers, dinosaurs, and cooking. We also liked that it has a HUGE play yard with two big toys and many smaller activities.
My husband and I are torn. We would appreciate any thoughts.
2024.05.08 15:02 hrisilazarova Husband is upset that he has to help with toddler while I care for newborn at 6 am.
I am a sahm and my husband works 5 days a week 10am to 6pm but sometimes he stays at work till 7 to catch up on things for his business. We have a 3.5 year old and a 6 day old newborn. It was our 4th night at home with the new baby and today is my husband's first day back to work. Our 3.5 year old goes to preschool that is 5min walk from the house, so we agreed my husband will take him to school for now so I dont have to get ready just to walk him 5 min away. Ever since we got home from the hospital he is complaining how tired he is all the time. He does not wake up for the baby at night. Last night I slept in the living room with the baby and he had all night uninterrupted sleep, except he is used to wake up at 8am, but our toddler woke up at 6. My husband took him in the bed with him and gave him to watch videos on the phone while he kept sleeping till 7am. During this time i was busy nursing the baby. My husband came downstairs in the living room around 7.15am and without saying Good morning or anything started complaining how toddler woke him up so early and he is sleepy and how he cant do it and go to work too. My response is that 6am is his normal wake up time and is not even that early, I have been waking up for him forever even when I used to work late night shifts. He started yelling how he is just venting and i dont have to be nasty about it, when that was my only response to him. He has been helping around with basic things around the house for the past week like couple loads of laundry, unloading dishwasher and getting toddler's lunch ready and play with him. Out of that he usually dont do any cooking or cleaning ever. Only heavy lifting chores that i cant physically do myself. Sorry for the long post, just wanted to describe the situatuin better. So am I wrong to tell him that he shouldn't be upset for having to wake up a little early and take care of our older child even though he goes to work, while i have been awake during the night caring for the baby?!
submitted by hrisilazarova to sahm [link] [comments]
2024.05.08 04:55 Ok_World_8819 Gen Alpha is cooked
 | As someone who is definitely Gen Z and doesn't know anyone who is Gen Alpha, I am very, very concerned for them. submitted by Ok_World_8819 to generationology [link] [comments] TL;DR: Gen Alpha is watching or watched poor quality educational shows as kids, such as Ryan's World and Cocomelon. Additionally, the rise of AI could see devastating consequences for them as they enter their adolescence and young adulthood in the 2030s and 2040s. Gen Alpha's start date is mostly considered to be 2010, to the general public at large (a few say 2013). I would actually consider Gen Alpha to start in 2015, but most people tend to say otherwise. For the sake of "the popular opinion", I will use a 2010 start date as 99% of the population seems to use it (even if it makes no sense). Like, go on YouTube. Next to no one there considers 2010 to be Gen Z. The cause of concern is mainly in what they're watching. Skibidi toilet is not the problem. It's the "educational" shows they watch that are the problem. I could care less about "skibidi toilet"; we had stupid videos and the like as well when we were kids and they were on the same level. Even something like Blippi which is also widely hated outside of the age demographic, isn't really "dangerous" but just "annoying". We had our own "annoying" preschool shows. Barney, Wow Wow Wubbzy, Dora The Explorer, etc. But Cocomelon and Ryan's World are not just "annoying". They are actively dangerous to kids' minds. Cocomelon brainwashes kids that watch it (kids get glued into the TV while watching it and have temper tantrums if the parent cuts it off) and has constant jump cuts with a super fast pace. There is no story to Cocomelon, no likeable characters with personalities, not even a moment of silence or calmness. Ryan's World does contain more of a story and there are characters with personalities, but it's filled with commercialism and advertisements, and none of those characters (Combo Panda, Alpha Lexa, Gus The Grummy Gator) are memorable at all. Oh, and Ryan's parents are exploiting their child for money and fame. Instead of being given quality educational programming, Gen Alpha is being given a tablet and are sat in front of a screen watching Cocomelon or Ryan's World. And that doesn't even mention Elsagate, which is making a big comeback in the mid-2020s. Cocomelon has no effort put into it whatsoever. There are studies showing that it warps the minds of the kids who watch it. People on YouTube are just saying that "Gen Alpha is so cringe" or are making fun of them for watching skibidi toilet. I don't have that feeling towards them. I feel genuinely terrible for Gen Alpha. It's their parents who are at fault. They are the ones who are giving their kids the iPads. To be clear: Not every parent with a Gen Alpha child is bad. While there are many very naive/irresponsible parents with Gen Alpha kids, that doesn't make every single parent bad. There are a few Gen Alpha kids growing up with great educational shows old and new. Puffin Rock and Bluey are two good modern-day examples. But I find it pretty damn ironic that Gen Alpha is being exposed to Cocomelon so much considering how many iconic educational shows their parents were able to grow up with. The parents of Gen Alpha are primarily (but not entirely) made up of Xennials, Millennials and Zillennials, who grew up watching (for the most part) much higher quality educational shows. Some Gen X and Gen Z parents too, but not as common. All of those people got to grow up with some great educational shows as kids: 3-2-1 Contact and Square One TV for Xennials, The Magic School Bus and Bill Nye The Science Guy for Millennials, Dragon Tales and Between The Lions for Zillennials. And shows that Millennials and Gen Z experienced as they were new (Arthur, Cyberchase, Bear In The Big Blue House, Blues Clues, and debatably, the aforementioned Dragon Tales and Between The Lions). Dragon Tales (along with Bear In The Big Blue House) seems to be one of those shows that unites almost all Zillennials. Even something such as Barney The Dinosaur has far more care and effort put into it than Cocomelon ever will. The only truly harmful educational show from back then was Caillou, and even then it was surrounded by tons of great educational shows for kids on the same channel (PBS Kids) so kids weren't solely watching Caillou. In fact, Arthur, Clifford, Cyberchase and Dragon Tales were all just as popular in the 2000s (more popular, arguably). Many kids are watching Cocomelon and nothing else; if they do, most of the time the other shows they watch are completely inappropriate and/or are of very poor quality. Of course, that doesn't mean there aren't any good shows kids today have. The Owl House and Bluey are two popular cartoons of the 2020s that Gen Alpha could've watched. Unfortunately, kids are not the ones watching these; Bluey seems to be far more popular with adults than kids and the same is true with The Owl House. And even shows that are still running, like Sesame Street and Cyberchase, aren't as popular with Gen Alpha as Cocomelon or Ryan's World. You would think these parents would know better and raise their kids with the shows they grew up with, but many of them couldn't care less what their kids watch. They don't care about the quality of what their child is watching and just want to get their kid to shut up. God knows what Gen Alpha is watching on YouTube Kids... The worst thing about this is the fact that many Gen Alpha kids have unrestricted access to YouTube Kids, a site where someone could label a Final Destination death scene as "made for kids", and a 6 year old could watch it on YouTube Kids and be forever traumatized. It's easier than one would think! You can easily find 18+ material on the kids version of the site, and not just gore but also South Park and Futurama (which are not meant for kids at all). And then there's the rise of AI. Unlike previous generations, Gen Alpha will never know a world without AI, at least one where it wasn't a part of daily life. Even the younger members of Gen Z had their childhood largely free from the era of AI, growing up as kids in the late 2010s and early 2020s. The oldest of Gen Alpha was no older than 12 years old when ChatGPT came out; there are many rumors that Disney's Wish was written at least partially by AI. By the time the oldest members of Gen Alpha become adults during the very late 2020s, AI will be more advanced than we could've ever imagined even today. We've seen what AI can do, and it is very frightening. AI-generated images, music, sentences and scripts, and even AI-generated video. What will this be like by 2032, when the very oldest of Alpha turn 22 and start graduating from college? Gen Alpha could be the first generation ever to lack any real social life at all, instead relying completely on AI for consuming pop culture (movies, games, books, music, etc). In the year 2037, instead of having real human friends, a Gen Alpha 20 year old adult might have an AI-generated anime waifu girlfriend with an AI voice go with them to watch a movie written and made by AI. That sounds crazy in 2024, but 13 years is a long time. Not even 5 years ago, AI-generated music, art and videos of higher quality would've been unthinkable to the general public at large. Now it is almost certainly going to happen. I doubt any of our elected officials will do anything to try and stop this. It may already be too late to stop AI from taking over. And if it is, Gen Alpha really is cooked. And it'll be every other generation's fault. I blame Gen Z for making fun of Gen Alpha instead of trying to combat the issues they're dealing with. We're not helping by mocking them for liking skibidi toilet videos, and gatekeeping the youngest members of Gen Z from our generation and our nostalgia. And the oldest members of Gen Z are already old enough to have kids, and i'm very concerned about that as well considering how X and Millennials are raising their Alpha kids. I feel so, so bad for Gen Alpha. Please don't mock them for liking a stupid YouTube meme. Try and do whatever you can to help them. To save them from Cocomelon and Ryan's World and AI. Please raise your Gen Alpha kids right. |
2024.05.08 01:04 Ok_World_8819 Gen Alpha is cooked
 | As someone who is definitely Gen Z and doesn't know anyone who is Gen Alpha, I am very, very concerned for them. submitted by Ok_World_8819 to GenZ [link] [comments] TL;DR: Gen Alpha is watching or watched poor quality educational shows as kids, such as Ryan's World and Cocomelon. Additionally, the rise of AI could see devastating consequences for them as they enter their adolescence and young adulthood in the 2030s and 2040s. For those not familiar: Gen Alpha is the next generation after Gen Z (who, in term, came after Millennials). The oldest of Gen Alpha is only 11 years old in 2024. The cause of concern is mainly in what they're watching. Skibidi toilet is not the problem. It's the "educational" shows they watch that are the problem. I could care less about "skibidi toilet"; we had stupid videos and the like as well when we were kids and they were on the same level. Even something like Blippi which is also widely hated outside of the age demographic, isn't really "dangerous" but just "annoying". We had our own "annoying" preschool shows. Barney, Wow Wow Wubbzy, Dora The Explorer, etc. But Cocomelon and Ryan's World are not just "annoying". They are actively dangerous to kids' minds. Cocomelon brainwashes kids that watch it (kids get glued into the TV while watching it and have temper tantrums if the parent cuts it off) and has constant jump cuts with a super fast pace. There is no story to Cocomelon, no likeable characters with personalities, not even a moment of silence or calmness. Ryan's World does contain more of a story and there are characters with personalities, but it's filled with commercialism and advertisements, and none of those characters (Combo Panda, Alpha Lexa, Gus The Grummy Gator) are memorable at all. Oh, and Ryan's parents are exploiting their child for money and fame. Instead of being given quality educational programming, Gen Alpha is being given a tablet and are sat in front of a screen watching Cocomelon or Ryan's World. And that doesn't even mention Elsagate, which is making a big comeback in the mid-2020s. Cocomelon has no effort put into it whatsoever. There are studies showing that it warps the minds of the kids who watch it. People on YouTube are just saying that "Gen Alpha is so cringe" or are making fun of them for watching skibidi toilet. I don't have that feeling towards them. I feel genuinely terrible for Gen Alpha. It's their parents who are at fault. They are the ones who are giving their kids the iPads. To be clear: Not every parent with a Gen Alpha child is bad. While there are many very naive/irresponsible parents with Gen Alpha kids, that doesn't make every single parent bad. There are a few Gen Alpha kids growing up with great educational shows old and new. Puffin Rock and Bluey are two good modern-day examples. But I find it pretty damn ironic that Gen Alpha is being exposed to Cocomelon so much considering how many iconic educational shows their parents were able to grow up with. The parents of Gen Alpha are primarily (but not entirely) made up of Xennials, Millennials and Zillennials, who grew up watching (for the most part) much higher quality educational shows. Some Gen X and Gen Z parents too, but not as common. All of those people got to grow up with some great educational shows as kids: 3-2-1 Contact and Square One TV for Xennials, The Magic School Bus and Bill Nye The Science Guy for Millennials, Dragon Tales and Between The Lions for Zillennials. And shows that Millennials and Gen Z experienced as they were new (Arthur, Cyberchase, Bear In The Big Blue House, Blues Clues, and debatably, the aforementioned Dragon Tales and Between The Lions). Dragon Tales (along with Bear In The Big Blue House) seems to be one of those shows that unites almost all Zillennials. Even something such as Barney The Dinosaur has far more care and effort put into it than Cocomelon ever will. The only truly harmful educational show from back then was Caillou, and even then it was surrounded by tons of great educational shows for kids on the same channel (PBS Kids) so kids weren't solely watching Caillou. In fact, Arthur, Clifford, Cyberchase and Dragon Tales were all just as popular in the 2000s (more popular, arguably). Many kids are watching Cocomelon and nothing else; if they do, most of the time the other shows they watch are completely inappropriate and/or are of very poor quality. Of course, that doesn't mean there aren't any good shows kids today have. The Owl House and Bluey are two popular cartoons of the 2020s that Gen Alpha could've watched. Unfortunately, kids are not the ones watching these; Bluey seems to be far more popular with adults than kids and the same is true with The Owl House. And even shows that are still running, like Sesame Street and Cyberchase, aren't as popular with Gen Alpha as Cocomelon or Ryan's World. You would think these parents would know better and raise their kids with the shows they grew up with, but many of them couldn't care less what their kids watch. They don't care about the quality of what their child is watching and just want to get their kid to shut up. God knows what Gen Alpha is watching on YouTube Kids The worst thing about this is the fact that many Gen Alpha kids have unrestricted access to YouTube Kids, a site where someone could label a Final Destination death scene as "made for kids", and a 6 year old could watch it on YouTube Kids and be forever traumatized. It's easier than one would think! You can easily find 18+ material on the kids version of the site, and not just gore but also South Park and Futurama (which are not meant for kids at all). And then there's the rise of AI. Unlike previous generations, Gen Alpha will never know a world without AI, at least one where it wasn't a part of daily life. Even the younger members of Gen Z had their childhood largely free from the era of AI, growing up as kids in the late 2010s and early 2020s. The oldest of Gen Alpha was still in elementary school when ChatGPT came out; there are many rumors that Disney's Wish was written at least partially by AI. By the time the oldest members of Gen Alpha become adults during the 2030s, AI will be more advanced than we could've ever imagined even today. We've seen what AI can do, and it is very frightening. AI-generated images, music, sentences and scripts, and even AI-generated video. What will this be like by 2031, when the very oldest of Alpha turn 18? Gen Alpha could be the first generation ever to lack any real social life at all, instead relying completely on AI for consuming pop culture (movies, games, books, music, etc). In the year 2037, instead of having real human friends, a Gen Alpha 20 year old adult might have an AI-generated anime waifu girlfriend with an AI voice go with them to watch a movie written and made by AI. That sounds crazy in 2024, but 13 years is a long time. Not even 5 years ago, AI-generated music, art and videos of higher quality would've been unthinkable to the general public at large. Now it is almost certainly going to happen. I doubt any of our elected officials will do anything to try and stop this. It may already be too late to stop AI from taking over. And if it is, Gen Alpha really is cooked. And it'll be every other generation's fault. I blame Gen Z for making fun of Gen Alpha instead of trying to combat the issues they're dealing with. We're not helping by mocking them for liking skibidi toilet videos, and gatekeeping the youngest members of Gen Z from our generation and our nostalgia. And the oldest members of Gen Z are already old enough to have kids, and i'm very concerned about that as well considering how X and Millennials are raising their Alpha kids. I feel so, so bad for Gen Alpha. Please don't mock them for liking a stupid YouTube meme. Try and do whatever you can to help them. To save them from Cocomelon and Ryan's World and AI. Please raise your Gen Alpha kids right. |
2024.05.07 20:08 MarriedSSEThrowaway How to help our relationship with all these time and schedule constraints?
TLDR: How to I get more time in a week that never has enough?
I don't really know how to solve this problem, because none of the solutions that I can think of are acceptable. All the constraints on when drop offs can happen, who has to be where when, and the goal of minimizing kiddo's time at school are really making things stressful. I feel like we get no time together, she doesn't want to be intimate because she's always completely stressed out, and I don't know what else I can take off her plate. She thinks menopause killed her drive and she has more or less stated that it's closed forever, but is still flirty and flashy, which I find and have expressed as frustrating.
I'm an engineer, and my wife teaches preschool special ed. We have a kid (5F) in preschool who starts kinder next year. Married 6 years, together 7. We live in a very HCOL area, and have debt issues stemming from her pre-marriage debt and when I was out of work during for a year during COVID.
Wife gets up at 6 to get ready and leaves for work at 6:45am, so that she can do some prework and head back right at 3pm to pick up kiddo at 3:30. She often has to work for 2-4 hours a night because of the documentation requirements for her job. At least one day a week she has to stay til 4pm.
I also get up at 6, get our kid up at 6:55am for breakfast and getting ready for school try to leave the house at 8am, and (hopefully) be to work at 8:30. I ought to be at work until 4:30 so I can be home at 5, unless I work from home then I could theoretically be done at 4:15 and already at home - but those days I usually end up doing pickups. I work in the mornings often to make up the time I forsee coming up short in the afternoon.
Kiddo is up by 6:55, out of the house hopefully by 8, and at school until 3:30. We have to pay for aftercare to stretch it that long.
Park visits after school, home to start dinner to be ready at 5:30, bath and bedtime routine to get kiddo in bed at 7:30. We generally try and rotate bath and bedtime routine, but I usually cover it 4 weekdays while wife works in our office. She's so tired that we might have a separate dinner from kiddo once a week, but most every day after kiddo is in bed or she's done working, she just wants to go to sleep. Because our career workloads are so imbalanced, I do most everything food related (most cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning). I also maintain the budget, but can't really get her to stick to it.
Weekends are usually spent going to bigger parks or local zoos, children's museums, and such. I get up with kiddo both weekend days at 630ish so she can sleep until 8 or 9. I'm awake anyway, so the only time this is a problem is when we want to do something on grocery day. She doesn't want me to do late night grocery trips after kiddo goes to bed. I really feel like she feels unsafe if I'm not home at night. Our neighborhood has some crime issues, but probably the least of the "affordable" neighborhoods inside the city limits.
I can't get her to cut down on work out of work hours - nor do I think I should try. She has federal requirements to meet regarding IEP and special needs service time, documentation, and meetings, and the district imposes a lot of documentation requirements on top of that.
I can't ask her to cut down on her sleep - I have ADHD and am chronically sleep deprived and know what it does to a person. We have no local family support to provide relief.
She wants to quit often, but the only way to support that would be a drastic reduction in our spending since we haven't found an option that can match her current 6 figure salary and summers off. She still wants to send kiddo to summer camps so that she can have some downtime during the year, which I think is fair given her workload during the school year.
She isn't willing to move out of the city to reduce costs - city district provides the best income and sending kiddo to a different district offsets a lot of breaks which would add more challenges.
She needs and wants time to herself, but always feels like she has to sacrifice time with kiddo to get it. I get time after everyone goes to bed - I pretty naturally would go to bed around 11.
I can't get things balanced. The only things I can take off her plate also take away from her time with our kiddo, which we don't want. I can't fix our budget when she keeps ignoring it. I can't cut her workload down with a new job without making her feel like I'm threatening to take our lifestyle away. I don't know what to do here. I want to have a discussion about all of this this summer when she isn't already at 99% stress, but I don't even know what to say. I don't want to just have a lot of problems and ask for her ideas on how to solve them, I want to have some solutions too and work it out together.
submitted by MarriedSSEThrowaway to Marriage [link] [comments]
I don't really know how to solve this problem, because none of the solutions that I can think of are acceptable. All the constraints on when drop offs can happen, who has to be where when, and the goal of minimizing kiddo's time at school are really making things stressful. I feel like we get no time together, she doesn't want to be intimate because she's always completely stressed out, and I don't know what else I can take off her plate. She thinks menopause killed her drive and she has more or less stated that it's closed forever, but is still flirty and flashy, which I find and have expressed as frustrating.
I'm an engineer, and my wife teaches preschool special ed. We have a kid (5F) in preschool who starts kinder next year. Married 6 years, together 7. We live in a very HCOL area, and have debt issues stemming from her pre-marriage debt and when I was out of work during for a year during COVID.
Wife gets up at 6 to get ready and leaves for work at 6:45am, so that she can do some prework and head back right at 3pm to pick up kiddo at 3:30. She often has to work for 2-4 hours a night because of the documentation requirements for her job. At least one day a week she has to stay til 4pm.
I also get up at 6, get our kid up at 6:55am for breakfast and getting ready for school try to leave the house at 8am, and (hopefully) be to work at 8:30. I ought to be at work until 4:30 so I can be home at 5, unless I work from home then I could theoretically be done at 4:15 and already at home - but those days I usually end up doing pickups. I work in the mornings often to make up the time I forsee coming up short in the afternoon.
Kiddo is up by 6:55, out of the house hopefully by 8, and at school until 3:30. We have to pay for aftercare to stretch it that long.
Park visits after school, home to start dinner to be ready at 5:30, bath and bedtime routine to get kiddo in bed at 7:30. We generally try and rotate bath and bedtime routine, but I usually cover it 4 weekdays while wife works in our office. She's so tired that we might have a separate dinner from kiddo once a week, but most every day after kiddo is in bed or she's done working, she just wants to go to sleep. Because our career workloads are so imbalanced, I do most everything food related (most cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal planning). I also maintain the budget, but can't really get her to stick to it.
Weekends are usually spent going to bigger parks or local zoos, children's museums, and such. I get up with kiddo both weekend days at 630ish so she can sleep until 8 or 9. I'm awake anyway, so the only time this is a problem is when we want to do something on grocery day. She doesn't want me to do late night grocery trips after kiddo goes to bed. I really feel like she feels unsafe if I'm not home at night. Our neighborhood has some crime issues, but probably the least of the "affordable" neighborhoods inside the city limits.
I can't get her to cut down on work out of work hours - nor do I think I should try. She has federal requirements to meet regarding IEP and special needs service time, documentation, and meetings, and the district imposes a lot of documentation requirements on top of that.
I can't ask her to cut down on her sleep - I have ADHD and am chronically sleep deprived and know what it does to a person. We have no local family support to provide relief.
She wants to quit often, but the only way to support that would be a drastic reduction in our spending since we haven't found an option that can match her current 6 figure salary and summers off. She still wants to send kiddo to summer camps so that she can have some downtime during the year, which I think is fair given her workload during the school year.
She isn't willing to move out of the city to reduce costs - city district provides the best income and sending kiddo to a different district offsets a lot of breaks which would add more challenges.
She needs and wants time to herself, but always feels like she has to sacrifice time with kiddo to get it. I get time after everyone goes to bed - I pretty naturally would go to bed around 11.
I can't get things balanced. The only things I can take off her plate also take away from her time with our kiddo, which we don't want. I can't fix our budget when she keeps ignoring it. I can't cut her workload down with a new job without making her feel like I'm threatening to take our lifestyle away. I don't know what to do here. I want to have a discussion about all of this this summer when she isn't already at 99% stress, but I don't even know what to say. I don't want to just have a lot of problems and ask for her ideas on how to solve them, I want to have some solutions too and work it out together.
2024.05.07 05:35 Zydeco_12 Now that I’m a single mom, I hate having children.
There. I said it.
Being married with kids was such a different vibe (even though my husband was horrible) but it felt like I was taking care of a family versus being a struggling, disesteemed single mother.
I’m tired of reading about how single moms should have picked a better person to procreate with. On paper, my ex husband was top-notch. A physician with a pediatric sub-specialty who appeared to be a very good candidate for being an involved father. Then he fell off the face of the earth and hadn’t seen our children in 14 months.
Anyway.
My kids are preschool and school-aged. Three of them. I’m having such a hard time with this. The sound of their voices causes me physical pain and nausea. Every single day I have the urge to get in my car and drive far, far away. I dread waking them up, and I dread picking them up from school. I am NEVER excited to be around them. I hate how they complain about what I cook (especially because I’m too poor to cater to their food desires), I hate how they destroy my house and constantly make messes, and I hate how I literally cannot have a life outside of them. I got on a dating app and scheduled two dates and it was such a fucking ordeal. I hate calling into work when they get sick.
I’m trying to finish a Master’s program. I wish I could come home, make myself a snack, and complete my coursework. Then I would bathe and watch Netflix. Instead I’m dealing with children until 8pm at the earliest, and 11pm on a bad night. And don’t forget the occasional late night wake ups.
If I were free, I’d move to Europe for a Master’s program. Meet up with men for drinks and talk about climate change. Spend money on clothes and food I like instead of pouring thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars per year into private school, tutors, extracurriculars, health care, etc etc.
And IF my ex husband were a competent, capable parent, I would give him 50/50 custody so quick. Dare I say, I’d like to even have every other weekend and one weekday evening per week - a stereotypical dad schedule.
And of course I’m resentful that the man who did this to me and abused me is out living life however he pleases - wherever he wants to work, whatever he wants to do, the world is his oyster.
But that’s a smaller part of my issue. Mostly I just want to be left the fuck alone, advance my career as desired, focus on my studies, and go to sleep at a goddamn decent hour for once.
How do I live like this without traumatizing my children? I would never express any of this, but I’m sure they pick up on the subtle things - the way I clench my jaw when they talk, how I tense up when they touch me, my blunted affect, the facial expressions I try to hide when I just don’t want to look at them anymore.
This sucks. I feel like I am in hell.
submitted by Zydeco_12 to breakingmom [link] [comments]
Being married with kids was such a different vibe (even though my husband was horrible) but it felt like I was taking care of a family versus being a struggling, disesteemed single mother.
I’m tired of reading about how single moms should have picked a better person to procreate with. On paper, my ex husband was top-notch. A physician with a pediatric sub-specialty who appeared to be a very good candidate for being an involved father. Then he fell off the face of the earth and hadn’t seen our children in 14 months.
Anyway.
My kids are preschool and school-aged. Three of them. I’m having such a hard time with this. The sound of their voices causes me physical pain and nausea. Every single day I have the urge to get in my car and drive far, far away. I dread waking them up, and I dread picking them up from school. I am NEVER excited to be around them. I hate how they complain about what I cook (especially because I’m too poor to cater to their food desires), I hate how they destroy my house and constantly make messes, and I hate how I literally cannot have a life outside of them. I got on a dating app and scheduled two dates and it was such a fucking ordeal. I hate calling into work when they get sick.
I’m trying to finish a Master’s program. I wish I could come home, make myself a snack, and complete my coursework. Then I would bathe and watch Netflix. Instead I’m dealing with children until 8pm at the earliest, and 11pm on a bad night. And don’t forget the occasional late night wake ups.
If I were free, I’d move to Europe for a Master’s program. Meet up with men for drinks and talk about climate change. Spend money on clothes and food I like instead of pouring thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars per year into private school, tutors, extracurriculars, health care, etc etc.
And IF my ex husband were a competent, capable parent, I would give him 50/50 custody so quick. Dare I say, I’d like to even have every other weekend and one weekday evening per week - a stereotypical dad schedule.
And of course I’m resentful that the man who did this to me and abused me is out living life however he pleases - wherever he wants to work, whatever he wants to do, the world is his oyster.
But that’s a smaller part of my issue. Mostly I just want to be left the fuck alone, advance my career as desired, focus on my studies, and go to sleep at a goddamn decent hour for once.
How do I live like this without traumatizing my children? I would never express any of this, but I’m sure they pick up on the subtle things - the way I clench my jaw when they talk, how I tense up when they touch me, my blunted affect, the facial expressions I try to hide when I just don’t want to look at them anymore.
This sucks. I feel like I am in hell.