There's been quite a bit of discussion about cohesiveness and what songs fit or don't fit the album, ZB1, etc... so I kind of wanted to have a more light-hearted discussion on how people would order the track list if it were their choice (personally, I think that's where more of the incohesion stems from)...
I've just had a lot of fun in my head switching songs around and creating potential performance set lists so I've had several versions in mind, but this is the one I'm currently the most into (instead of dark to light, etc. I'm going hot to cool with this one haha):

1. Solar Power - I've seen quite a few people say it doesn't fit, but to me it actually ties in really well with the following songs and feels like either an opener (as it is) or a closing song. I think this song gives very sort of 'I'm feeling myself'/'I'll show you my power' vibe and it quite literally makes me think of hot (heh)... like, I imagine the stage literally set on fire (like a LED screen/floor mixed with maybe a bit of real fire with fire flowers and stuff) and the boys literally walking out/performing on the sun. I think the vocal parts also fit the coming songs. Also, maybe like getting up in the morning with lots of energy.
2. Dear Eclipse - The fact that it's Solar -> Eclipse tickled me a lot, but also, I think that both the songs give off a bit of that confident sexy vibe so it just makes sense to me. Like, imagine the red/orange/yellow from the burning stage suddenly going all cool, but with spots of fire (like the ring when there's an eclipse) and a bit of a Over Me prop choreo
3. Sweat - this and Dear Eclipse are the most r&b-focused songs so it just works both sonically and thinking performance wise... like, so far it's been - I'm confident, etc... and now I'll make you feel it (i.e. make you sweat)... but also, the video colour grading reminds me a bit of the hazy daylight while an eclipse is ending... and the song is a refreshing sexy haha
4. Feel the Pop - actually, I was having the most trouble placing this... it really is a bit of a whiplash after Solar Power and before Dear Eclipse (even tho I read that the song samples the piano from FTP) and something about it really didn't fit near Hello to me either... but I think it fit's here - after making you sweat, we'll give you something a bit more refreshing (soda pop heh). So the eclipse is now over and we're all talking about it and going a little crazy (like the parties ppl had with the more recent eclipse)
5. Sunday Ride - it's like, after you had a day of work, sweating, etc. you're not chilling in the car with your soda drink haha idk, it seemed to fit and it also gives a bit of a cool down before we get all emotional. Definitely sunset vibes, maybe some sort of sit down performance or just no choreo, vibing.
6. Hello - It did feel a bit odd to me to end a track list with 'Hello', but the lyrics themselves allude more to endings than beginnings, so I think it makes sense. Also, I don't really drive, but it feels like when you're on a drive/ride sometimes you get very sentimental thinking back on things, so I think it makes perfect sense after a song like Sunday Ride. Picturing this when it's already night and you're looking at the stars and the people you went on a ride with... so basically, a day with ZB1 where you wake up energized for a trip and you go to experience the eclipse with friends and ending your day with those friends under the night sky (maybe wishing on a star).

What do you guys think of this list and what would you switch around? I mostly ordered them on (my) feeling, as well as more linking the vibe of the song and maybe vocal... I did think maybe the order could be reversed, but I feel a little odd going from crying at Hello to hype mode with Solar Power in the end haha
ETA: just realized that the only change I really made is just move FTP to a different spot haha but it makes sense to me like this

We have a small family business and completed services at a property. The person who solicited the services never paid despite multiple promises to send payment over a 45 day period. Our email signature line and our invoice clearly spell out that we automatically file a lien against the property after a certain point (as allowed by state law) and the owner is responsible for lien fees if necessary. After repeated attempts to collect payment from this person, which were often met with hostility, we filed a lien against the property. In doing so, we found out that the property is also currently in an open probate case. We called the local probate court helpline and they advised that we file a claim against the estate as well because that claim will have to be resolved before the estate can be closed out of probate court. We also know from past experiences that the house cannot be sold with an active mechanics lien. We've had title companies call us before for liens placed years ago because the person was trying to sell and it got flagged and they had to pay us in full in order to be able to schedule a closing date for the sale. For the record, we do not charge any interest or late fees on our invoices. We only charge them the lien filing fees and we don't mark it up. Even though our payment terms are due on completion, we don't even attempt to file a lien until it's been 45 days. The state allows for immediately filing and you cannot file after the 60 day mark. We feel we try to be as far as possible to our customers. After filing the lien and estate claim, as expected, the owner became very upset. When we spoke with their attorney, he made us feel extremely bad about the situation and said this woman was on the verge of homelessness and they were trying to get the property sold to cover expenses, but that she wasn't ready to move yet. He made the comment "He understands we are very insistent on getting our $1,000". I understand this may seem a small amount to some, but as a small business, I feel like we deserve to be paid for the services we provided. We are very often sympathetic with owner's needs and have allowed payment plans in the past, etc. but only when they communicate with us and are nice and respectful. This lady has lied repeatedly, yelled, said nasty things, etc. and at no point did she tell us anything about her financial situation. To make matters worse, she didn't only solicit work for her property. She had us complete another couple hundred dollars worth of work at her neighbor's property and said she was doing it as a courtesy to the neighbor and that she would take care of payment. If she already knew she was struggling financially, why make it worse and have us complete work at someone else's property that isn't her responsibility? The attorney's comment really made me feel bad. I understand why it seems like we are putting a lot of effort into $1,000 and going after someone who is struggling, but also, why should she be allowed to solicit work from contractors knowing she cannot pay? That's not fair, regardless of her financial situation. AITA?

My neighbors are cool but there are a lot of potential old Karens. Pretty much half the development is over age 70. The other half well into their 40’s. Every six months someone dies. I imagine that’s what it will be like when I’m in the nursing home.
These are villas- detached homes that all look only one gable different from the other. Yards are nice sized. Space and nature abound. Very quiet.
My 25 yr old son looks nothing like me. At 6’4”, he will stand out. I hardly live at the home any more because I mostly live at my significant others house.
I’m doing him a favor with no rent for him to establish a job, save money, and move out. I’m sure he’s going to get the heck out of there as there are no people near his age.
Technically, I’m not breaking HOA rules, right?

So let me try to get all of the pertinent information out within the word limit. The gist of my post is that almost halfway through the year, I (39m) have threatened to call the cops on my brother-in-law because I suspect some of my belongings may have been sold. Those belongings have been in storage since October, 2022.
In mid-2022 I was sharing a house with my sister (then pregnant with her second child) and her husband. She discovered her husband had cheated on her with at least two women. Physically with a neighbor and at least emotionally with a woman online. At the time, preggo sister moved out with baby #1 to live with our mother.
It was already the plan to sell the house, but this accelerated it. I started looking for a new place and pack. It was at this time I noticed her Switch gaming console. I messaged her and asked if she took it with her. She said no.
Turned out her husband had gone behind her back and sold it to a used game store. His story changed twice when caught in the lie.This Switch was a birthday gift from me to my sister a few years back.
It's October 2022, I suffered from an embolism. Most of my large intestines have been removed and I have an ostomy bag. I was told my stuff is in storage. I lost a lot of muscle mass in that time. So, I eventually upgrade to a nursing home in 2023 and continue to attend therapy as the hospital allows. I eventually apply to and get accepted into an income-based, handicapped accessible apartment "back home." Ultimately, I moved into my new apartment, January, 2024.
Now, sometime in 2023, my sister took her cheating X back. They were co-parenting so she was bound to see him a lot. For a time, the brother-in-law was living in that original apartment I was going to move into, which is why I know it was shitty. Not that he asked for it, but he was watching my two cats. Both of whom died, I assume at the same time.
When I moved into my apartment, my sister and her husband were able to get a lot of my things from storage to my new apartment. But it's not everything. Unfortunately, as my things got packed up, my sister also packed her stuff up and a lot of it got stored together. Every time I'd ask if another family member could go to the unit, she's said she needs to be there to say what's hers. I am having enough mobility issues currently, being wheelchair bound. I can't just go to the storage unit and direct someone to pick through boxes I sadly did not pack.
My fear is, I have a lot of gaming and collectibles. I have some back in my possession. But previously when I've asked my sister said she couldn't guarantee her husband hadn't sold some of my belongings. Sadly, I've asked so much she's now angrily said he hasn't sold anything. But I argue, until I see for myself, I don't know that. His past actions prove otherwise.
When I mentioned getting the police involved, she got very pissed. AITA?

Hi!
I'm married to an Aussie but we're living in the US with two kids (with Aussie citizenship by descent). How hard is it to get a 12 month visitor visa that will let me stay in Australia ideally for 12 months? I don't plan to work there and we just want to explore the country as tourists.
We are middle class and hopefully will save up enough to take a break from work for a year (and rent out our current home).
Background:
We are looking at some point spending time in Australia for the family gap year. The plan is to save up and just travel Australia (and neighboring countries) while kids are homeschooled. Our ties are really strong to the US so a more committed move isn't something we're considering at the moment.
We looked at partner visa for me (US passport holder) but it's a lengthy and expensive process, and the benefits are debatable given I'm not planning to work in Australia (and don't want to deal with cross country tax filing - had enough of that already).

Date: 05/15/2024

Reading time: 11 minutes, 2384 words

🪖 Military

The ceremony of withdrawal of peacekeepers from Nagorno-Karabakh took place

Russian peacekeepers were in Nagorno Karabakh based on a statement of November 9, 2020. The military group was supposed to stay in the region until 2025, which could be extended for another five years. The population of Artsakh was subjected to forced displacement, more than 100 thousand people moved from Artsakh to Armenia.

CivilNet

Armenia and Slovakia discuss issues of military-technical cooperation

Armenia participated in the IDEB-2024 defense exhibition in Bratislava, Slovakia, at the invitation of the Slovak Ministry of Defense. A number of agreements have been reached between Armenia and Slovakia.

Armenpress, Armenia, Slovakia discuss expanding defence cooperation

Armenia and India plan to create a working group on defense issues

The first defense consultations between the Ministries of Defense of Armenia and India took place under the chairmanship of Levon Ayvazyan. The progress and development prospects of Armenia-India cooperation in the field of defense were discussed, including military-technical, personnel military education and tactical training, exchange of experience and other fields.

CivilNet, Armenian and Indian Defense Ministries hold first defense consultations in Yerevan, Armenia, India hold first defense consultations

🏛️ Politics & Government

Over 52% of respondents in Armenia support Tavush for Homeland movement to certain extent, Gallup phone poll shows

A total of 35.1% of respondents in Armenia said they “fully support” the Tavush for Homeland movement, Aram Navasardyan, head of the Armenian office of GALLUP International Association, said at a press conference on Wednesday. 17.8% said they feel “more than positively” about the movement, 10% - ‘more than negatively’, 10.5% “absolutely negatively”; 13.6% found it difficult to answer the question.

ArkaAm

Civil disobedience campaigns continue in Yerevan

People demanding Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan’s resignation again blocked streets in Yerevan on May 15.

PanArmenian

The Baku court has extended the terms of detention of Artsakh officials for five months

Former presidents Bako Sahakyan, Arayik Harutyunyan, Davit Babayan and Davit Ishkhanyan are speaking. The detention period of the former President of Artsakh Arkady Ghukasyan was also extended by five months. 23 Armenian servicemen and civilians were arrested in September 2023, after a one-day war against Artsakh.

CivilNet

Political consultations held between foreign ministries of Armenia, Georgia

The Republic of Armenia and Georgia held a round of political consultations in Tbilisi on May 13-14. It is noted that the participants of the meeting reviewed the existing relations between the two countries.

Armenpress, Political consultations held between Foreign Ministries of Armenia and Georgia

Education reforms, institutional development, peace agenda implementation: PM delivers speech at EBRD annual meeting

Nikol Pashinyan attended the opening ceremony of the annual meeting of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development in the Republic of Armenia. Armenia's economy has grown by almost 30 percent since the People's Nonviolent Velvet Revolution of 2018.

Armenpress, Prime Minister highly values the partnership with the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, Armenian PM and EBRD President discuss joint projects and perspectives, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD and InecoBank bolster science innovation hub in Yerevan

Border delimitation between Armenia, Azerbaijan should become a key tool for learning peaceful coexistence - PM

Armenia and Azerbaijan lack experience and knowledge of peaceful co-existence, says Prime Minister. Pashinyan: "What you don't know brings uncertainties, concerns, tensions, which you understandably formulate and perceive based on your experience"

Armenpress, Moscow welcomes Armenia-Azerbaijan foreign ministers' negotiations in Almaty, Demarcation should become one of the tools that will teach Armenia and Azerbaijan to live peacefully – PM Pashinyan

PM Pashinyan sends congratulatory message to the Prime Minister of Serbia

Nikol Pashinyan congratulates Miloš Vučević on occasion of his election to the post of the Prime Minister of the Republic of Serbia. The message reads as follows: "Armenia values friendly relations with Serbia based on mutual respect and trust"

Armenpress

Armenia and EBRD sign €236 million agreement for Sisian-Kajaran road construction

The EBRD signed a loan agreement worth €236 million for the construction of the 24.2 km southern section of the Sisian-Kajaran North-South Road. The project is a strategic priority for Armenia, ensuring its connectivity and access to Europe and beyond.

Armenpress, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD grants Armenia 12 million euros for the construction of a logistics center in Syunik, EBRD funds largest road project in Armenia

Armenia and France expand cooperation in civil aviation sector

Meeting was held between the Director General, Mihran Khachatryan, and the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of France to the Republic of Armenia, Olivier Decottignies. Issues of strengthening and expanding cooperation between Armenia and France in the field of civil aviation were discussed.

Armenpress, French Development Agency to extend cooperation with Armenia’s government, Armenia, France extend partnership in civil aviation, Armenia and France are expanding cooperation in the field of civil aviation, Armenia, French Development Agency to expand cooperation

The delegation led by Tigran Avinyan leaves for Paris

The Yerevan delegation will visit Paris from May 15 to 19. They will meet with the president of the regional council of Île-de-France.

Armenpress, Yerevan Mayor to travel to Paris on May 15-19

Moscow sees the need to resume the work of the tripartite group on the issue of de-blockade

Moscow considers it necessary to resume work of tripartite working group co-chaired by deputy prime ministers of Russia, Armenia and Azerbaijan on blockade issue. Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Mikhail Galuzin said about it in an interview with the News.ru website: "We do not use the term Zangezur Corridor, but in favor of the complete unblocking of economic and transport communications in the South Caucasus. He also spoke about the role of Russian peacekeepers in Karabakh.

CivilNet

Armenia is waiting for the decision to join the European Peace Foundation. Pashinyan

Pashinyan: We are waiting for the decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Fund. The fund was established in 2021 to promote world peace, prevent conflicts and supply non-lethal weapons to countries in need. In mid-April, the media wrote that a preliminary agreement was reached in Brussels to provide 10 million euros to Armenia from this fund, but Hungary blocked the decision.

CivilNet

Mirzoyan to take part in Council of Europe ministers’ Committee session in Strasbourg

Ararat Mirzoyan will travel to French city of Strasbourg for a working visit on 16-17 May. He will take part in the 133rd session of the Committee of Ministers, devoted to the celebration of 75 years since the foundation of the Council of Europe.

ArkaAm, Armenian FM to participate in the session of CoE Committee of Ministers

High-Tech Minister: Armenia considers creating investment fund

Armenia’s Minister of High-Tech Industry Mkhitar Hayrapetyan discussed a potential creation of an investment fund in the country with Noubar Afeyan, the founder of venture capital firm Flagship Pioneering. Fund is expected to improve cooperation between Armenian authorities and the private sector.

ArkaAm

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations - Pashinyan

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations in all areas, Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan said at Copenhagen Democracy Summit. "We are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Monitoring Mission on the border between Armenia and Azerbaijan," he said. The prime minister said that the EU decision on Armenia's inclusion in the European Peace Facility is now awaited.

ArkaAm

Moscow slams EU mission in Armenia for “provocative activity”

The EU mission is doing more and more against Armenia’s neighbors Russia, Azerbaijan and Iran, Mikhail Galuzin said.

PanArmenian

Uruguay Chamber of Representatives votes to submit draft law on the Armenian Genocide Memorial Day to executive branch

Chamber of Representatives of Uruguay on May 14 unanimously passed the draft law declaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Memorial Day in Uruguay, 74 votes in favor by the 74 MPs present. After the executive's approval within 10 days, the law will come into force immediately, the Armenian Embassy in Uruguay said in a post on Facebook.

Armenpress, Uruguay House of Representatives approves billdeclaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day

Slovak PM in ‘life-threatening condition’ after being shot

Slovakia's Prime Minister Robert Fico is fighting for his life after he was shot multiple times following a government meeting. Fico's condition is life-threatening and he’s being flown by helicopter to hospital for emergency treatment.

Armenpress, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot, Violence has no place in politics: Armenian PM wishes speedy recovery to Slovakia’s Robert Fico, Slovak PM in life-threatening condition after assassination attempt, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot

Zelenskiy cancels visit to Spain and Portugal

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy has cancelled a visit to Spain and Portugal, authorities said on Wednesday. CNN Portugal and other media reported it was because of renewed fighting in his country. Spain's King Felipe of Spain had been due to hold a reception and host a meal in his honour. He had also been expected to sign a bilateral security cooperation agreement.

Armenpress

The Power of One Dram Sums up the Two-Year Program with Teach for Armenia

During November and December 2021, AMD 9,328,753 was transferred to the “Teach for Armenia” educational foundation. The amount gathered within the framework of “The Power of One Dram” initiative of IDBank and Idram. As a result, two schools of Aragatsotn Region have been conducting an education program based on change for two years.

Armenpress, Power of One Dram sums up two-year program with Teach for Armenia

Blinken, guitar in hand, sings ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ in Kyiv bar

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken plays guitar and sings Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" with a local band. Blinken assured Ukrainians they are not alone and that billions of dollars in American military aid on its way will make a "real difference" on the battlefield.

Armenpress

Armenia’s ruling party frames anti-government protesters as ‘Russia-backed’ on social media: DEMOCRACY WATCH #4

A CivilNet investigation has found that the campaigns, mostly on Facebook, are generated by the country’s ruling party. Among the main targets is the leader of the protest movement Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan, the Primate of the Tavush Diocese. They circulate videos and photos suggesting his involvement in a “Russian plan to destabilize Armenia”

CivilNet, Echoes of Déjà Vu: Reviving Resistance in Armenia, Archbishop Bagrat: This is our first victory

India and Iran have announced the launch of the Chabahar port development project

India and Iran signed a ten-year agreement on the development and operation of Iran's Chabahar port. The agreement aims to expand regional communication and facilitate trade, particularly between India, Iran and Afghanistan. India has invested in the infrastructure and modernization of the port, making it a viable transit route for Indian goods to Afghanistan and Central Asia.

CivilNet

U.S. warns Georgia not to side with Moscow against the west

Georgia has been warned by the U.S. not to become an adversary of the west by falling back in line with Moscow.

PanArmenian

💵 Economy

EBRD predicts Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024

The European Bank for Reconstruction and Development expects Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024 and 4,8% in 2025. The EBRD forecasted a 4.5% economic growth in 2024 for Armenia in its previous report, published in September 2023. The World Bank expects the Armenian economy to. grow by 5.5%, the IMF predicts 5% growth for the country's economy in 2024.

ArkaAm

VTB (Armenia) expands opportunities for cross-border money transfers by phone number

Retail customers of VTB Bank (Armenia) can receive money transfers from Russia by phone number. Funds are credited instantly to the recipient's account or card in national currency. In 2023, the bank's retail customers received more than 94 thousand money transfers.

ArkaAm, VTB-Armenia Bank has expanded the possibilities of international transfers by telephone

EBRD has significantly improved the forecast of the growth of the Armenian economy in 2024 to 6.2%

The EBRD predicts 6.2 percent economic growth in Armenia in 2024, and 4.8 percent in 2025. The World Bank expects that Armenia's economy will grow by 5.5 percent in 2024. The IMF predicts a 5 percent growth for the country's economy in 2024 and 2025.

ArkaAm

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

I live in an apartment. I live on the second floor. I have a patio with a balcony, and there is a big sliding glass door.
Everyday my downstairs neighbor throws her trash into my balcony. Usually it hits my sliding glass door. It is not just lazy, it is malicious. The things are usually open, still partially full of contents, and made of glass so as to be a maximum mess and maximum danger.
My downstairs neighbor is on welfare. So she will never move out because her rent is being paid for by the govt. Since she is on welfare, she has no job and she is always home and awake all night.
I tried to put up a privacy screen I bought on Amazon, but the office lady knocked on my door and commanded me to take it down.
I bought some clear window film from Amazon that is supposedly anti shatter protection for the glass.
I stay in my apt unless I am coming or going to work, so I don't know her name or what car she drives. I only mention that because a lot of revenge suggestions revolve around the neighbor's vehicle.
All I know is her address, of course. The other revenge ideas I have seen are a lot of ideas about having things mailed to the neighbor. That probably wouldn't bother her because she is on welfare, so she does not care about her mail. She has no responsibilities like bills or a job. She has a baby and that is probably the basis of her welfare.
She doesn't use her patio area. So, throwing the trash back into her area would not bother her. She does not care about that area.
Snitching would not help. The office lady is very mean and hateful. She is already hard on me, she for sure would not be sympathetic.
What would you do?
Please give me some revenge ideas. Thanks

When I moved into my home last summer, I noticed a cat walking around people’s yards. I assumed it was someone’s outdoor cat because it looks well fed and was confident, wasn’t scared of me at all. Its fur didn’t look matted, just a big fluffy cat.
I saw the cat for the first time since winter started, and it doesn’t look good. It has a pretty severe limp in one of its back legs. I can’t be sure because I’ve only seen it from afar, but the fur looks matted and it looks skinnier. It used to look so confident and now it looks scared and sad (I’m 99% sure it’s the same cat I saw when I moved in).
I’m putting out food and water for it, along with a cat carrier with a blanket inside. But I’m not sure what to do. I don’t want to call animal control because I’m worried they will put the cat down since it’s injured.
If I capture it, I’d like to bring it to the vet. But I’m worried about the cost. I can afford a $100 check up, but I can’t afford a $800 x-ray. Who knows what other issues the cat may have. This might be a dumb question, but do vets do pro bono help in these situations? If not, will a shelter have a vet who can help the cat?
I’m also kinda worried this might be a neighbors cat because it really seems domesticated. But at the same time, fuck whoever the owners are since the cat clearly needs help. I reached out to the HOA because we had to list our pets when we moved in, so maybe there is a record of this cat. They basically just laughed at me lol so maybe I should put up signs in the neighborhood?
Even if I bring it to the vet and it heals, then what? I just release it back outdoors? That feels wrong. But again, I don’t want it out down at a shelter or by animal control.
I wish I could keep the kitty but I really can’t right now. If this happened to me at any other point in my life, I would keep the cat. But I can’t. I can’t even keep it inside temporarily. Long story, but the short answer is this isn’t an option unfortunately.

I used to walk with her, now I walk alone. We used to marvel at the beautiful houses together, now I look down at my feet. Each home we pass, a grain of salt in the wound, each house a reminder of what I lost. Even though it hurts, I still find myself continuing our walks. Sometimes pain is good. It reminds us that we are still living. I’d rather feel the pain of her passing, than not feel her at all.
She’s alive when I walk. She’s the shadow that strolls behind. Though I can’t see her, I can feel her. Her presence is like a windbreaker draped across my shoulders in an especially violent storm. The pain isn’t gone but it’s bearable when I’m moving. I can’t speak to her, but she’s there. When I trip over a root, a hand steadies me. When I veer off course, I feel a gentle nudge.
And every day I end up in front of the same abandoned house on Jackson Street.
A grand home, at least at one point it must’ve been. The windows are boarded closed. The door is locked. Beware trespasser signs are strewn haphazardly across the tangled mess of the once impressive lawn.
I feel her presence strongest here. It is almost tangible, as if she’s hiding behind a thin curtain. I call her, yet she never answers. I reach for her, yet I can never lay hands on her. It is here on my journey where my emotions get the best of me. Every day I come, every day I cry.
The neighbors look at me with trepidation, but long gone are my days of caring what others think. I stand there an old man, face in my hands and weep for the woman I lost. Let them think what they want, but my Lenore was worth every tear.
I feel a tap on my shoulder and look up to see the front door of the house swing wide. Light pours out of it, and there she is, my Lenore. I rush towards her and the gaping maw, towards the woman I’ve lost. The woman who heard my cries. The one who has returned for me.
As I barrel forward through the brambles and overgrown weeds, I hardly am aware of the scrapes and cuts. Nor does it bother me that I trip over a hidden bottle and go tumbling face first in the dirt. I sling myself forward with the stamina of a much younger man.
And then, I am there, standing in touching distance from her. She’s got the same strawberry blonde hair that always left me breathless. It’s wrapped in a French braid with a daisy tucked behind her left ear. She looks younger by nearly twenty years since the last time I've seen her. Her nose and cheeks are dusted with a fine layer of freckles.
I begin to giggle like a schoolboy as I remember I once tried to count them. Twenty-three was the highest I got before I found my mouth on hers. And suddenly I have an inappropriate urge to pull her close and continue the kiss in front of God and all the neighbors.
Shortly before I do just that, she vanishes, leaving me standing in the front door alone once more. I look around the hallway and notice it’s fully furnished. There is no dust or decay. The parlor is in perfect condition. Even more surprising, I hear someone playing the piano. It’s Fur Elise and I could recognize that sound anywhere. Lenore was playing it the day she died.
A writhing anger fills me at this thought. I don't want to think of that day. The day the sun stopped shining. The day my life was uprooted and tossed carelessly in the trash. I try my best to tune that cursed melody out of my mind, but it fights me tooth and nail at every turn. It refuses to depart like a troublesome guest unwilling to take a hint. Even still, I find my feet moving towards the sound.
The Turkish rug leading down the hall looks familiar, the pattern of the wolf howling at the moon, the picture of the ship sailing in rough seas. I know it. I walk forward, no longer in control over my own body. Instead, everything begins to flash in front of me like a movie. I know on the other side of the door is a set of stairs that leads to the great room.
Still, I don’t remember, I can’t remember. They threaten to come back, but I don’t let them. I don’t want to remember. A feeling of unease bubbles to the surface, bringing with it a queasy gurgling in the pit of my stomach. I feel my lunch begin to squirm its way back up, burning my throat and causing a tingling sensation deep in my nasal cavity.
I know all my efforts are fruitless. The memories will come back. The dam I built to hold them at bay has already begun to crack. It will crumble soon. I know enough to know that I don't want to know, yet the details of that day are fuzzy. With each step closer to the door they come into focus. And as my hand reaches for the gilded doorknob, all goes black.
I’m back.
Oh God have mercy on me, I’m back to the day my wife died.
I come to this conclusion even as my own traitorous hand throws wide the hallway door. I fight for control. I do everything in my power to not see. My eyes fling wide, and I look to see the back of my sweet Lenore’s head, the damned daisy still perched behind her ear. She’s playing and she doesn’t know I’ve arrived.
I know what is coming but I don’t want to. Yet those damned feet, those mutinous mother fuckers keep pushing me forward. First up one step then two, before I even know it, I’ve scaled half of them. Now I can see her back, she’s in a flowery dress with what looks to be hummingbirds sucking at the honey. Fur Elise is ramping up, and the song is nearing its climax.
And then I see it. Him to be precise. He’s lounging in my chair, drinking my whiskey, with his shirt partially unbuttoned. I take it all in. My brain makes the connections. Rage, white-hot fills me once more. I look to the left and then the right, and that’s when I see my cavalry saber hanging on the wall for decoration.
I remember the outcome, yet I can’t force myself to let go of its hilt. My hand turns white from grasping it so hard. There’s nothing I can do to lessen my grip. I see myself marching up behind her sword held high in one hand.
Fur Elise climaxes as my arm swings. I strike her left shoulder blade and with a discordant whine the music stops altogether. Inwardly I scream. I curse my God’s damned temper. I watch as she slumps out of her chair.
Without a second glance, I am charging the man just beginning to look up from his comfortable spot in my seat. My blade penetrates his right abdomen, he lets out one shriek before my second swing catches him directly in the throat.
I am appalled at the blood spurting from his nearly decapitated neck. My hands are scarlet, I feel wet stickiness oozing down my face. Yet I can’t control my own limbs as they swing and swing and swing, chopping the man into kindling. I try to close my eyes, but they won’t, so I see his hand go flying. I watch as his innards come bubbling out of his abdomen. I split his head like a grape and watch as his brain matter leaks out to the floor.
To my dismay, I hear a gurgling sound coming from behind me. I turn knowing what I’ll see but powerless to stop it. I look to see Lenore’s face towards me trying to speak. Blood bubbles drizzling out of the side of her mouth. I don’t need to hear the words to know what she is trying to say. “Please, no more.”
Pity fills my heart, and my own eyes refuse to cry. “Please don’t do this,” I scream at myself in vain. I watch as I slowly move towards my former wife letting the blade carve a wicked groove into the marble floor. With no mercy my arm swings the blade up once then twice then three times, and all goes black.
Finally, I regain control of my limbs and body. I look up to see a vandalized great hall with a nasty groove in the marble floor, and there my chopped wife lying on the floor looking up at me with dead yet still very much alive eyes.
I see the monstrosity of my late wife clamber to her feet. Her left eye slides out of its socket running like egg yolk down her face. Black pustule blood leaks from her wounds. Her right eye locks with mine and in a slobbering wet noise she says, “I will never let you forget what you did here. Jail wasn’t enough for you. You didn’t stay your hand, so even in your Alzheimer’s I won't let you forget. Same time tomorrow, honey?
johnwestrick.com

My mother 61F seems to want me 31F to be her caregiver.
My parents had my sister on accident, got married and divorced after a very toxic relationship, then had me on accident when my sister was ten.
My mom grew up in extreme poverty, abuse, and neglect, and only had a fifth grade education. My dad was a carpenter.
I lived with my dad since my mom was in and out of the mental hospitals. She was a janitor and then went on disability for mental illness (schizoaffective).
I have blocked my mom at times over the years. She can provide me comfort and help and someone to talk to, but can be abusive and extremely suffocating.
She is a chain smoker and now has clogged arteries. I don’t like smoke at all and she would shame me for being uncomfortable around her smoking.
She had to get a stent put in last week. I took off work to take her home from the hospital. She asked last minute if I could take off the day of her surgery (I took the day after her surgery off) to be with her during the surgery (her sister planned to), then complained that I didn’t spend the night at the hospital with her, kept telling other patients god bless them, burst into tears to the nurse, kept acting like I was bored at the hospital and hurried the nurses saying “my daughter wants to go home”, She was also saying that “you know other people have people who love them and they even have their families spend the night.”
I was with her 7 hours that day and as soon as I got home she said she would have liked me to stay longer and have taken the day off her surgery off and stayed the night with her in the hospital.
Today she called on my lunch break and asked if I could come over and do her laundry in the basement. She is still healing from surgery. Her social worker was coming and offered to do her laundry but she didn’t want her to see her underwear.
I just hate picking up my mom’s calls and feel awful about it. I didn’t really want to help her with her laundry and had plans to go to the gym after work. I feel burdened with my mom. My sister won’t associate with her.
I have an opportunity to move 3 hours away to live with my boyfriend and I kind of want to take it. I just feel a hatred towards my mom sometimes. She didn’t raise me and barely provided care, abused me, and now expects me to care for her.
She calls me every single day sometimes 6-7 times a day and her calls absolutely infuriate me and I don’t know why.
I feel guilty for not wanting to help my mom and being kinder.
She also does help me sometimes, she will insist and almost demand I take money from her or that her neighbor fix my car.
TLDR: I feel guilty for not caring for my mom more. Why am I so heartless? surgery?

Here’s some background:
I moved in with my boyfriend over a year ago, and from the get-go, our landlord (his grandmother) has been causing issues and stepping on our boundaries, and we’ve finally reached a breaking point.
It started with her showing up without asking, then it became her starting projects in the home without asking (like leaving us without a working kitchen for two months while she remodeled), then we weren’t allowed to fix things without “her guy” being there (air was out for over three days waiting on “her guy”), and now the biggest argument has come to a head: the lawn.
We live on about four acres of land, and it’s covered in trees. It’s a private drive, only 10 or so houses are built on the property, and we are in the very back. Last house on your left. You would have to drive to our home, use the dead end roundabout, and go back to see our house unless you live across the street, or next door. All of these homes have lots of land.
Both my boyfriend and I work full time, and I finally just finished being a full time student. My boyfriend is picking back up in his education and is shifting into full time student work, on top of his 40 hour work week. Almost everyone on this drive is either extremely rich (lavish houses) or retired. Or someone died and the child offered us a renting situation, such as our situation. So, these people either have someone else mow, or they have all the time in the world to.
For over a year, his grandmother has complained about the consistency in which we mow. It’s not quick enough, it’s not to her liking, she could do it better, whatever. She lives on her own 100+ acres 20 minutes away, not sure how ours impacts her, but fine. It’s not “how she likes it”. We’ve been able to get over this so far, but now we’ve learned we have neighbors calling and complaining about our yard.
PLEASE.
Because of this, his grandmother is now threatening to kick us out unless we mow to her frequency, and she complained that she’s getting countless calls from these people complaining about us and our yard. Again, these are all older people who are retired who spend their days mowing, or have the money to pay someone else. WE DO NOT. WE ARE ONLY 23 AND 22.
He mowed last week (it had been raining for two weeks straight - hence the grass was long) and it took him five hours to mow the back, front, and sides, and he ran out of time for weed-eating because we had my graduation to attend. This is not something he or I could manage with a full time work schedule, and school on the side, at the frequency she’s asking. It’s just not happening. She’s insinuated we should be keeping the place like a dentist’s office, mowing every week and planting cute little flowers. I said no. It’s a house. It’s grass. Get over it.
We pay rent. We keep the inside clean. We don’t throw parties. We go to work, come home, and do our thing. I don’t know WHY these people are SO bothered by a little long grass. To the point of almost harassing our landlord and offering to buy the land. like??? I’m so lost. And angry. We mow the lawn. This is not a situation where we just don’t. It’s just not how people who don’t live here want it to look, and I’m sick of placating the situation.
I want to annoy the crap out of these people. It’s two homes in particular who have been calling, and they both have lots of land. It’s also a VERY republican part of town. Please give me all the unethical ideas, because these people need to mind their own business. And I’m DONE.
TLDR: boyfriends grandmother lets us rent, has been complaining about the fact that we don’t mow as often as she wants, now neighbors are calling and complaining, and we’re being threatened with eviction if we don’t placate these people

So my partner and I recently moved into a new apartment complex and we are nervous about school summer vacation coming up soon. There is a family that lives below us with quite a few kids and they can be quite loud when the come home from school, there is usually alot of running in and out of the apartment, slamming doors and yelling for an hour or so after school while they play with the other neighbors. My partner and I both work from home and are nervous that pretty soon this noise is going to be all day once school is out. We have looked at the lease and can't find anything about noise during the day, at night there are regulations but can't find anything for during the day. Does anyone else have experience on how to handle this? I've never had to deal with loud kids in an apartment, I'm fine with all of the noise outside because its pretty muffled but if I have to listen to playing in the hallway and doors slamming all day, while I'm working, I'm going to lose my mind. Anyone have ideas on what would be the best course of action if the kids become noisy once summer starts? Do we go to the parents first or should we just go straight to our management office?

Part 1
Chicago, 2016. Flinn Gerald is doing his best to make it in the city. Born in Selma, Alabama, he has spent his entire life trying to escape the ever tightening grasp of his small town. But alas, he made it out and is adapting to life in the big city. With a big fancy corporate job, an endless supply of friends, an apartment with a stunning view of the lake, and great distance from his family, what more could he need? Well, there is a lot more (or less) that he needs, but of course that is a story for later.
On a typical Tuesday night at a bar, the regulars crowd in. Flinn is late, as usual, as he stayed late at work (again), but on his arrival, the cheers and hugs from all the friends make everyone forget of the regular inconvenience. Conversation ensued, starting with all the boring finance jargon, but as the drinks flowed, so did the conversation, moving away from work and more into life. This is what everyone preferred.
“Another round, anyone?” asked Raheem, enthusiastically. After a murmur of concurrence, he stood up to make his way up to the bar. “Flinn, care to lend a hand?”
Raheem Bartlett was Flinn’s college roommate and the first person he met outside of his hometown. The pair hit it off instantly despite having wildly different backgrounds. Even in their freshman year, the engineer and the finance major would get into all sorts of trouble together, but eventually they leveled out. Six years later, they still have each other’s backs just like day one.
The pair made their way up to the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention. “What's up with you, bro?” asked Raheem. “You’ve been seeming a bit off.”
“Oh, ya know. Work, life, everything kinda happens so fast. Work has been busy as of late, and the hours long.”
Seeming displeased by this answer, Raheem stared back in concern.
“Really, I’m fine… just long hours.”
“Back in school you’d pull back to back all-nighters and then still make it to a morning class. I find it hard to believe that the mighty Flinn would be so setback by ‘long hours’.”
Flinn took a moment to ponder, staring down at the bar covered in various stamps and postcards beneath the epoxy surface. “I guess, ya know, it's not all it was cracked up to be. I guess I had expected more.” Flinn had mostly dropped his accent, but occasionally it would still slip out.
Despite coming from a long line of mill workers (mostly paper) and farm hands who never ventured further than the Dallas county line, Flinn yearned to leave his small town and conquer the world from a young age. Coming from the poorest county in Alabama, his family always squashed his dreams, labeling them as impossible. But Flinn knew better. Or, at least he knew he could do better. Graduating top of his class a year early and winning a full-ride scholarship to Northwestern University, he had proved everyone wrong and set his own path. The path he was told was impossible became his reality.
“More what?”
“Nothing, really. I mean, what more is there? This is what I always wanted, right? The stable job in the city, never having to worry about money. It’s great, and I couldn’t be more grateful, but… something is missing. Doing the same thing day after day staring at a screen, moving clients money around. I… just hoped it would be more fulfilling, especially after all it took to get here.”
Before he could finish his thought, the bartender came up to take their order: another round for the table, plus a round of shots, plus two more shots.
“What am I saying, really?” added Flinn. “I shouldn’t be complaining. Look at where I am now compared to six years ago. So much has changed. My home, friends, even my diet. I just feel a bit off. Like I need something more to do..
“I get it, bro. Adjusting to your new life can be rough. Enjoy it for a minute or two.” Raheem slides a shot in front of Flinn. “Here, take this.”
Tuesday had become fairly consistent to this point for this group of misfits: Raheem and his girlfriend Amy; Jack; Jasper, from Flinn’s firm, and his wife Max; and of course, Flinn. For nearly two years, these six have been meeting at O’Malley’s every Tuesday night for drinks and trivia. Some nights are more wild than others, but Tuesday has become the staple of the week among them.
Drinks flowed pretty regularly and heavy over the next few hours as the clock approached the end of day. Still going round for round on alternating tabs, the useless debates began to heat up.
“You can’t seriously think Wicker Park is the best neighborhood outside the Loop. Y’all need to get out more,” said Flinn.
“Bro it’s obviously Wicker Park,” argued Raheem.” Right on the blue line, getting to O’Hare is insanely easy, plus you can’t find better music in the city. Besides, Wicker Park has Davenport’s.”
“No one ever says Wicker Park,” adds Jack. “Have you ever heard someone say Wicker Park before?”
“Dude, but you can obviously get to O’Hare from anywhere in the city,” said Flinn
“Sure, but beats walking through that dumb Block 37 Center transfer like you and your red line. No transfer is the way to go, plus the blue line gets you right to the center of the loop.”
“So does every other L line as long as ya don’t mind walking a few blocks!”
“You’re both wrong,” adds Max. “Neither matters because Midway is better anyways.”
“Woah!” the whole table murmurs, sharing shocked looks as if she just confessed to a crime. Flinn rolled his eyes at this notion.
“Who flies out of Midway?” asks Raheem.
“What? Less people, cheaper flights, and more space. Why wouldn’t I fly out of Midway?” said Max.
“Wait, wait, that aside,” interrupts Raheem, “can we go back to the fact that Jasper thinks Sheffield is the best neighborhood? I feel like we moved past that too quickly.”
The debate rages on for many more minutes, until Flinn, seemingly out of nowhere, had enough.
“Can y’all just shut the fuck up! Why does it even matter?” Everyone’s glance quickly shot over to Flinn as a deafening silence overtook the table. Everyone pondered how to respond, and couldn’t seem to find an answer. This behavior from Flinn was unexpected, nay, unheard of. Flinn was the most level headed amongst them by far. Not even Raheem, his best friend of six years, had ever seen him get angry, let alone over an inconsequential friendly argument. “I…” Not even Flinn knew what to say next. “I’m going to go home. Long day tomorrow.” Already on his feet, he quickly walked away from the table and out the door.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The walk home was fairly brisk, but Flinn had grown fond of the cold. He tucked his hands into his coat pocket and hunched his shoulders forward, only looking down at the pavement ignoring the mostly asleep but still wide awake city surrounding him. His thoughts ran wild and near out of control. Of course, his intoxication did not help with clarity, but the inner dialogue was deafening. Not even he knew what was bothering him, but he was obviously bothered, deeply. He made a fool of himself in a way he never had before, and right now he felt he did not recognize himself. Surely some sleep will help, right?
He slowly made his way down the steps to the platform, carefully watching each step as to not fall, to wait for his train. He posted up against a pillar and stared off onto the dark, empty tracks. What has gotten into me? He did his best to calm his racing, wasted mind searching for some legibility amongst his thoughts.
Once he finally got home, he slumped down on the couch and scarfed down some week-old sushi he found in the fridge. He turned on some old documentary and was asleep before he knew it.
Suddenly, he was woken up by his phone ringing. It usually does not ring this time of night and was less than thrilled to be woken, so he let it keep ringing. It stopped after a couple of seconds, and he glanced down at the screen:
Mama
(2) missed calls
Dad
(1) missed call
Now concerned, he calls his mom back in a hurry. “Hello?”
“Flinn? Your grandfather, he’s dead.”
Part 2
The wet air engulfed Flinn’s face as he stepped out the airport doors into a warm February day. Six years had passed since he smelled the Alabama air. Even after all this time, it still smells just as he had remembered as if not even a day had passed. The drive to Selma was another ninety minutes, and despite having five days to mentally prepare himself for his arrival, it was not nearly enough time. He had not seen or spoken to anyone from his town, not even family, since he left early that August morning all those years ago. He left everything behind to start his new life. The life so many told him to not start, that he needed to stay. He left anyway and never looked back.
That was, until now. He had little choice in this regard. He knew he would have to make his return someday, but he knew not when nor for what. But today was that day. Flinn and his grandfather (Pops) had always been close. If anyone had been supportive of him, it’d have been Pops, but he was a man of little words. Even when he could talk, he hardly chose to. He was a great listener, and not just because he could not speak. He showed he was engaged and listening no matter what Flinn had to say. At times, he felt Pops was the only one who understood him as if he had been just like him before, but no one would ever talk about his past. All Flinn knew is Pops lost his tongue after a failed lynching.
The familiarity of the scenery zipping past was bittersweet. He had not realized how much he missed the rolling hills and thick forests beneath the unforgiving southern sky. He kept his head pressed against the cool glass of the car window even through the constant bumps in the road. He couldn’t look away. So many memories happened here, and the closer he got, the more plentiful the memories became, and the more potent they were, and the more painful they’d become.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the dust settled behind him, he stood on the driveway staring at his childhood home still unsure how to process his emotions. It was all so overwhelming. He was thinking everything at once. He took a deep breath, rolled back his shoulders, and swallowed. He reached for the door handle, hesitating slightly, and took a step in. One foot, and then the next.
“Martin!” Flinn smiled as his old friend and childhood dog rushed towards him without hesitation. He knelt down and embraced him as Martin excitedly rustled through his arms seemingly showing more energy than he had in years.
He walked down the hall and around the corner into the living room. There, both drawn to the large television like moths to a flame, he saw his parents sitting beside one another on the couch watching some daytime program with their backs to him. They seemed to pay no notice to the commotion at the front door nor the loud creaking footsteps he took along the old wooden floors. They knew he was there; they just chose to ignore him. He walked into view to greet them. "Mama, dad." His father smiled slightly but caught himself and refrained.
Mama kept a straight face, but seemed to be fighting tears."Howard, help Flinn with his bags, dear."
“No, it's alright, I know where to take them,” said Flinn. “How are y’all?”
“Service is tomorrow at eleven down at the ole First Baptist Church. Make sure to wear something nice.”
“Alright, mama. I’ll... I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Whole family is coming tonight. Dinner is served at...”
“At seven, I got it, just as always.”
“It’s good to see you, kid.” said his dad. “Let me know if you need anything”
He did not expect things to go like that, not that he knew what to expect. He had hoped time would have been more forgiving. Perhaps leaving unannounced in the middle of the night was not the best plan, but at the time he felt as if he had no other choice. Everyone knew he was leaving. That was no secret and had not been for years before any plan had actually been set into motion. No one knew the date or time, except for Pops, of course, but he’d never tell. Of course he wanted everyone to know. He wanted everyone to be proud of him, but it was too big of a risk and commendations were too much to expect. Besides, Mama always had her schemes, and had she known, she would have found a way to stop him.
Not much had changed since he’d been here last. The old wood paneling still lined nearly all the walls, crack in some spots, replaced in others, but all coated by decades of cigarette soot. On the walls were a combination of family portraits from over the years and cheap artwork found at the flea market. Old green furniture, too many house plants to count, and a tacky themed kitchen, it was all still the same.
His childhood bedroom, however, was much different. Hardly even recognizable, what was once his bedroom was now a storage room filled with endless shelves and boxes. He set his things on the lonely cot in the corner, sat down, and took it all in.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not realizing he had drifted off, Flinn awoke and looked at the clock. 6:55. Convenient. He sat up and brushed his hair down with his hand as he suspected it was sticking up in the usual way. He rubbed his eyes and made his way to the dining room. The whole family was there, probably about twenty people or so, all scattered about throughout the kitchen, dining room, and living room engaged in various conversations. His nana, aunt, and Mama were cooking away putting the final touches on the large meal.
“Well if it isn’t this fucker…” said a familiar voice to his left, laughing. Flinn looked over to see his cousin who’s just a year younger than him.
“DeAndre, how are you?”
“Never thought I’d see you again, even since you left. Thought maybe you ‘ood be dead.”
“Nah,” Flinn laughed. “Still very much alive.”
“I can see dat. Wearin’ your fancy suit and all.”
“Yeah I’ve been doing pretty well. Work has been… good. I have a great job at a finance firm in Chicago. Everything has been… Good. Yeah, good. How about you?”
“Now you ain’t goin’ city on us, are you?”
Flinn laughed. “I think I might already be.”
Just as dinner was finishing up, a line started to form and people found a seat wherever they could, be it at the table, on the couch, near the counter, or outside.
“Flinn!” his dad called out. “I saved ya a seat here at the table, kid.”
Flinn took his seat right next to his dad which positioned him right across from Mama. The table could sit eight, and the seats filled in pretty quickly so he was lucky to get one. Besides his sister, all of the oldest family members took the other four chairs.
The dinner itself was mostly uneventful, except for the food of course which was extraordinary. Flinn had not eaten Mama’s cooking, or anything like it in six years. The southern food in Chicago was alright, but nothing like what you can get down here, and no restaurant is going to have the same quality and taste as a home-cooked meal. By God, he had not realized how much he needed this. It was almost healing, like a part of his soul had been lost and he found it once again. The last week had been incredibly overwhelming, and last Saturday he never foresaw being here now, but he was glad he was, regardless of the looming tension. All the stress from work and life back home in Chicago was now all gone. All he had to worry about was… oh yeah, the family drama. The dreaded interactions, what he had suppressed for so long, that had kept him up at night for years. All those long nights doing homework or anything else beside sleeping. They had not been by choice but rather necessity. He would have slept more if he could, and some of those nights he really needed to, but instead was kept motivated by the pain. The pain of knowing no matter what he did, no matter how successful in life he became, he would never be good enough for his family, good enough for Mama, because he left them.
If there ever was a time to clear his conscience and get everything out of the way, it would be today, or at least over the next couple of days. When else would he have the chance? Not that any of this had been planned, and his therapist would probably advise against it. She did not even know he was here. What would she have to say? Avoiding conflict has always been his choice. He has always been quiet, never been at the center of drama, but some things need to be said. Just, maybe not by him. If he waited long enough, perhaps they would come up on their own. So he decided to wait, but he knew time was limited and he could not wait forever.
“Mama, could you pass the butter?”
Mama just stared back at him. “Get ya own damn buttah, since ya can do everything else on ya own.”
Flinn stands up and reaches for the butter. “I can do everything myself, and I have. I hope you’re proud, Mama.”
“Proud? What do I have to be proud of?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe my job, my degree, everything I have been able to do to build a good life for myself.”
“I don hear anything worthy of praise.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Mama.”
“Oh, so now you’re sorry? You could’ve fooled me. Is that how you felt when you left? Unbelievable.”
“I left because I had no other choice.”
“Oh don go lyin’ to me now. You did have a choice. You had a choice and you chose to leave us. You didn’t say goodbye, and you were just gone in the mornin’.”
“If I had not just left, you would’ve stopped me.”
“Cause you ain’t got no reason to go nowhere.”
“I had plenty of reasons to want to leave, and not because of you. I’ve always had dreams, Mama, ya know that. I’ve always been bigger than just this town.”
“Oh, so now you’re too good for us, city boy? Huh? I don wanna hear no more of it.”
“It wasn’t about that, Mama. Look at all I’ve been able to do.”
“I ain’t see nothin’. You never call and you never visit. How am I supposed to know what you been doin’?”
“I thought you didn’t want me coming around any more?”
“Well, you’ve got that right. Glad to see you still have some brains left.”
“Well excuse me. Maybe it's best if I leave again. Sorry I ain’t make you proud, Mama.” Flinn got up and left the table.
Part 3
Just as the early light began to peak through the blinds, Flinn was woken up by a firm knock at his door. “Flinn, may I come in? It's Uncle Terrence.”
Flinn sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yep, come in.”
“How are you this morning, kid? Ya know, she’ll never admit it, but ya Mama missed ya.”
“I find it hard to believe.” Deep down Flinn knew it was true, but she was hard as a rock, and arrogant. She would always find a way to be right, even when she knew she was wrong, and she would never let you know she knew she was wrong.
“Well, we’re all proud of you, kid.” Flinn hated when Terrence and everyone called him kid. “Just wish yoo’d come around and see us every once in a while. I know ya busy with all the big city stuff and all.”
“I thought no one wanted anything to do with me any more?”
“At first, maybe, but I miss ya, kid. Ya know who missed ya most of all?”
“Pops?”
“Yes, of course. He always wanted to know about ya, every time I’d come round. He couldn’t call, but always wanted me to.”
“I should have called.”
“I think everyone wanted to call, but as time went on, it became harder and harder to push that button. It was already so hard at first, and only got harder.”
“I thought about everyone a lot, especially at first. Leaving was really hard, and I almost didn’t, but I always wanted more. I didn’t want to spend my whole life in this town, and if I had not left when I did I probably never would have. But it was still hard. I wanted to go home so many times, but I convinced myself no one wanted me here no more or that y’all would’ve said ‘I told ya so’ or sum bullshit. No one wanted me around any more and I had left, so I was stuck on the path I chose. And I’m happy, and I’ve done so much, but it’s never been easy.”
“Pops was a lot like you when he was your age. Set on leaving as quickly as he could. Things were different back then, not that they are any better now, but Hank... my brother… Pops, was just like you.”
“What changed?”
“Well, he never did. Just no one talks about it anymore. After what happened on that day, they blamed his behavior. Said he should’ve played it safe and he’d still have his tongue.”
“No one has ever told me the story.”
“And they won’t. It changed the whole family.”
“But you’ll tell me?”
“Only if you promise not to tell. I don need an earful from ya Mama.”
“I promise.”
“Hank couldn’t be confined to Selma, just like you. He joined the army right out of high school, and after he was done in Lebanon, he didn’t go straight home.”
“Where did he go?”
“Everywhere but here. He used the small amount of money he got from the army and went anywhere that would let him in. Across Europe, parts of Asia, Northern Africa, even parts of South America. Of course, a young black man traveling by himself at the time was challenging, but Hank could hold his own pretty well. He still ran into all sorts of trouble. He spent more nights in jail than he would have liked, but he would have done it all again if he could.”
“What happened when he got back?”
“He was much different, but for the better. He couldn’t wait to get back out there again. He had confidence like I had never seen before. That’s what got him in trouble not too long after.”
“How’d he lose his tongue? I’m guessing that is what changed everything.”
“When he got back, he got involved with a girl, I think her name was Susan. She was the mayor’s daughter. They snuck around for a while. Their relationship was not acceptable, especially to her father. If he found out, Hank would be in a lot of trouble, and of course eventually he did find out. He spent about a month in jail in just awful conditions even for the time. They didn’t have anything to hold him on so eventually they had to let him go. About a week after he got out, he was walking downtown and some guys grabbed him. He took him out to a field and tried to lynch him. Luckily, they failed and he survived, but they took his tongue as a warning. He was never the same after that. All of his confidence was gone, and of course he couldn’t speak no more.”
Flinn did not know how to respond. It all made sense now: why the family so desperately wanted him to stay, why they were so hurt by him leaving, and why they’d feared who he was becoming. They were all traumatized and wanted to protect him. They did not want him to suffer the same fate as Pops.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The funeral itself was fairly uneventful and went nearly as perfectly as expected. The church filled in with hardly any empty seats, tears were shed, and speeches were given. Pops touched the lives of almost everyone he met, and they came to show it. After the service was the reception, and yet again, the food was spectacular. Everyone got along just fine today and there was no more residual drama, at least for now. Today was Pops’ day.
After the reception, the family gathered back at Mama’s house for the reading of the will. Pops did not have many possessions, at least not of monetary value, but what he did have was meaningful in other ways. He was very clear on who he wanted to give off, and handpicked what would be most substantial to each person.
Everyone gathered around much as they did at dinner, and the lawyer began his reading:
I, Hank Gerald, a resident in the City of Selma, County of Dallas, State of Alabama, being of sound mind, not acting under duress or undue influence, and fully understanding the nature and extent of all my property and of this disposition thereof, hereby make, publish, and declare this document to be my Last Will and Testament, and hereby absolutely revoke any and all other wills and amendments previously made by me.
The reading went on for some time as there were many beneficiaries. Flinn began to daydream about what could be left for him. Flinn was not a very sentimental person, so trinkets and heirlooms paid him little interest. Perhaps his car, or maybe money. Something that will be useful to him.
To my dear brother, Terrence, I leave my 1964 Pontiac GTO and all tools and parts associated and necessary with/for the running and upkeep of the vehicle.
The further down the list he went, less was given, but this is to be expected. As the end of the list neared, Flinn began to wonder what would be left for him if anything at all. The will had been in order of age, to this point, so he should be up soon.
To my Granddaughter, Nia,...
Nia? She's younger than me… Flinn thought.
I leave her my grandmother’s locket containing a picture of my Grandfather before he left for the Great War. She looked at it everyday to keep the memory of him alive until he eventually returned to her alive.
How could he skip me? Perhaps I should have called, or never left. Flinn got lost in his own thoughts and barely paid attention to the rest of the will. He and Pops were so close, and he never imagined he would be taken out of the will. But that is my own fault, afterall. I left, and I never even care to call. He died, and I never even said goodbye.
Just as Flinn began to accept the consequences of his actions, they got to the last beneficiary listed in the will:
Finally, to my oldest Grandson, Flinn, who is more and more like me than I ever could have wished to have been, I leave my journal. I hope whenever you need the motivation, you read it to find the meaning you are looking for in life.
Part 4
Flinn sat at his desk unable to focus. It was fairly slow for a Friday, but he still had work to do. After a chaotic weekend back home in Alabama, he was ready to settle back into his monotonous routine. The experience had been healing in some regards, but still left a lot unanswered. What did he mean by finding the meaning in life? Flinn wondered as he flipped through the endless pages of Pops’ journal, all filled with endless recounts, drawings, symbols, and pictures from his travels, just as he had since Monday. The journal consumed his whole attention, and nothing else seemed important enough to focus on. He had even ditched his friends all week which he never does.
He is supposed to meet Raheem for drinks tonight, but now he is wondering if he even wants to go. There is just too much in his head right now. He just wants to be alone. 12:37. The clock is moving too slowly. Flinn clears his calendar for the rest of the day and decides to go home.
At home, he still finds himself flipping through the pages of the journal, not even reading them but just looking at them. Again and again, he flips through until he has enough. He drops the journal on his lap and stares off into the distance at the gorgeous view of Lake Michigan. The endless city and skyline take up most of the horizon until it just stops, cut off by the endless ocean-like lake. He stares at it for quite a while until something catches his eye. He has seen this before. Well, of course he has. He lives here and this is his view everyday. But he knows he has seen it somewhere else.
He picks the journal back up and flips through in a hurry. There it is. He holds the journal up to the window to show a matching two-page drawing of this exact view. Well, not exact. It is a slightly different angle, but it was close enough. Pops was here. He would have loved visiting. I should have invited him. This made Flinn sad, and he threw the journal down on the table in frustration.
Just then, that is when he noticed it. There was a page sticking out from the journal, but it was not like the rest. The page was white and pristine, aside from a few wrinkles, as if it was new, whereas the rest of the journal showed its age. He rushed over to grab it. He opened it to find a letter, addressed to him:
Grandson, When you left, I knew that you would accomplish everything you set out to do. I also knew, however, you would find yourself lost someday, returning home for answers. I was hoping I’d be able to give you those answers myself, but as time goes on that seems less likely. I too found myself lost, and I knew not why. I had gone and seen the world, and it changed me, but I was still not fulfilled. I came home still looking for the answers, and it took a while, but eventually I did find them.
Through this journal, I hope to share my findings so that you too, when you are lost, find the answers you seek. Whenever you are ready, follow my journey and the clues I have left for you. Go out and see the world, just as I did. You will find that what you want from life is less than what you expect.
I hope the experiences you have are less harsh than my own, but still be careful. The world has changed a lot, but still not enough. But don’t skip ahead for the meaning may be lost. Take only one step at a time, and when it comes time to take the next step, it will reveal itself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seven o’clock rolls around and Flinn walks into the bar to meet Raheem. He hasn’t seen Raheem, or anyone else from the group, since last Tuesday when he had his outburst. He begins by telling the story of the events of this last weekend, but leaves out the parts about Pops’ past.
"Pops left me a hidden letter.”
“What do you mean?” asked Raheem.
“Like in his journal, I found a hidden letter. It was addressed to me.”
“What did it say, bro?”
“He says he was a lot like me when he was my age. He wants me to go where he went and learn what he did.”
“In Alabama?”
“No, everywhere but there. He wants me to start in Western Europe and follow his clues around the world.”
“He traveled?”
“A lot, apparently. I never knew. He was in the army, and after he got out, he traveled… everywhere, basically.”
“Why did no one tell you?”
“They wanted to keep me safe, I guess.
"They wanted to keep the whole family safe after what happened to him.”
“What do you mean, bro. What happened?”
“I can’t talk about it, but it doesn’t matter now anyways. I’m living a different life now.” Flinn never shared much about his past or his family with anyone, not even Raheem. It has always been a mystery. This was the most he had ever shared with him.
“Well, are you going to go?”
“No, I can’t. I have work. It took too much to get here. I can’t just give it away.”
“It’ll still be here when you get back, bro.”
“If only it was that simple.”
“It can be. You have money saved up. Chicago isn’t going anywhere. We’re not going anywhere. Plus, you’ve always talked about traveling more. Why don’t you take some time to do it.”
“I suppose, but I like my life here.”
“If you don’t do it now, when will you? You’ve taken a leap before, why not take another one. You’re smart, you’ll land on your feet, bro. Besides, your grandfather thought it was important enough to not only give you his journal, but hide you a letter for you to find when you needed it most. Maybe now is when you needed it most. You’re way too stressed at work anyways, and I can tell you’ve been off for a while now. Perhaps some change could give you what you need.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday morning, when Flinn gets to work, he walked straight to his boss's office. He turned in his letter of resignation.
Two weeks later, he took the red line to the blue line to O’Hare. Journal in hand, he boarded a flight to Dublin.

Looked for a moving mega thread but didn’t find one.. please redirect if possible!
We’re a married lesbian couple (30s) moving to AA or Ypsi from the Flint area. Hooray upgrade!
Ideal budget is $2,100/mo max. Something that is important to us is a nice kitchen and a patio or balcony for small gardening and our cats.
We’ve done the online searching but just reaching out in case we’ve left a stone unturned or hidden gem. Thanks future neighbors!

hi!
(it will be a bit long story)
writing this because I was wondering if fellow cancerians will find it relatable, or it has nothing to do with my sun sign and I'm a clinical asshole.
so, I spotted one thing about myself: if someone that I don't know (which equals they haven't earned my respect) tries to boss me around or tell me what I should do - there's NO WAY I will do it, I will rather go great lengths causing drama and making everyone mad than step down.
for example: this happened literally 20 minutes ago. Currently I'm visiting my brother's place with my mom, to watch his child, while he is away for travel. We got back from a shopping store. There's a pretty big driveway that could fit 4 cars or so, I park next to my brother's house entrance. The driveway is shared with neighbors that are facing my brothers house, there's 4 houses in total I think.
I don't stay here for long, will leave in a couple of days, so i find it comfortable to park next to the house.
we got out from the car, I got inside the house, my mom was still outside and she started talking with someone, I sneak a look and see there's a literal karen's final boss. Talking passively aggressively with my mom and saying that we HAVE to move the car, because NO ONE PARKS HERE. And my mom in sheep voice responded to her "okay, so so sorry, we will move it".
I thought omg mom!!
Then I told my mom I won't move the car, because she doesn't own this whole driveway, I'm a guest for a short time, there's no signs saying that I can't park here and MOSTLY I'm not gonna do it because this karen trying to boss me around and tell me where I should put my car. I said "there's only one way I will do it, is when police will knock on the door and will tell me that I can't have my car next to my brother's house".
I know, yes, yes, I'm dramatic. But it is how my brain works. Is it cancerian train or i'm just problematic? (btw i'm 25, not 18)

As an atheist, are there any other atheists who feel that Sam Harris's most recent takes on the Israel-Palestine are somewhat bizarre and one-sided? I listened to his most recent monologue yesterday in which he gave his assessment of the college protests, and throughout most of it, his criticism can be boiled down to the fact that he thinks that the students calling for divestment are spewing anti-Semitic hatred and are therefore useful idiots for Islamists who want to witness the destruction of "Western civilization" and an end for US military support for Israel. At the end of the day, these protests echo the sentiment that many college students do not want their tax dollars to be siphoned for military aid to already one of the world's most advanced countries in the world that is establishing illegal settlements in the West Bank and has committed a plethora of war crimes in Gaza i.e. bombing hospitals, migrant camps, schools, and a good portion of the Gaza Strip, restricting humanitarian aid. Now of course, Hamas deserves some of the blame and the neighboring Arab countries such as Egypt, Jordan, and Saudi Arabia are definitely hypocrites because they have not accepted any Gazan migrants, but it seems that these ardent anti-Israel supporters are no different than the extremists on the pro-Palestine side that can't condemn the attacks that led up to this. Is Sam also unaware that Israel in many ways indirectly allowed Hamas's rise to power in an effort to cause divisions in Palestinian leadership?
another weird take, which seems serves as the backbone for his support for Israel, is his constant obsession with this whole clash of civilizations narrative that the Western World is at an ideological war with the Muslim World. Unless someone can accurately set definitions for what is the West/Muslim World/East, there is no such thing as the "West", "Muslim World", or the "East", there are individual countries that have separate legal political and social systems that might share some overlap with other nations, but at the end of the day, grouping countries based on perceived shared values is a slippery slope and is extremely subjective. Japan, Malaysia, Turkey, India, Brazil, Colombia, Bulgaria, Albania, Ghana, South Korea, Indonesia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, and Singapore are all generally regarded as liberal democracies that defend human rights and civil liberties, but they are not classified as Western and are grouped into other categories, where is the line? If you look at the US, it is completely different culturally and politically compared to Sweden, Finland, Poland, and Portugal, and for the case of the Muslim World, Saudi Arabia UAE Egypt Iraq Qatar and a handful of other Arab nations are at odds with Iran for sectarian reasons and their support for Islamist militias in North Africa and the Levant that are seeking to shift the balance of power in the region in their favor. To add to that, I find it very odd how people like Sam who claim to be anti identity politics flirt with this notion of Westerner vs non-Westerner which is divisive in nature and an ultimate example of playing the identity politics game.
any thoughts?

Some background: My husband and I bought our house in August of 2020 before the market took off. We’rethe first to admit we got it at an amazing price, we’re also the youngest people in our neighbor and first time home buyers. (He’s 31 and I’m 29, so we were 27 and 25 when we bought) Our neighborhood has about 100 houses in it and we’ve never really had any serious issues with the HOA in our four years. Always paid dues on time, and honestly love our immediate neighbors in our cul-de-sac. However we have a new HOA board this year and they are on a fucking power trip, absolutely insane abuse of power and I’m not here for it.
Onto the issues, about three weeks ago we get THREE violations. One to mulch our yard, one because our trash cans were visible from the street and one because we needed to pressure wash the driveway. The violations were dated for April 17th, we didn’t receive them via email or mail until April 24th, giving us ten days to rectify each issue. We had some bushes removed and landscaping being changed and said we’d mulch our yard AFTER it was done as it would have ruined the mulch. The completion date that we gave them was until April 21st, meaning they APPROVED us not mulching until then, yet still somehow wanted to give us a notice for not mulching yet because they apparently can’t read or remember?
The trash cans were in front of our house because we went out of town for 10 days and our neighbors agreed to take them down for us so our garage wouldn’t smell, and told us to just leave them in front of our garage.
I emailed back saying that we left them there because we were out of town and the alternative was to leave them at the curb for ten days, and asked which they preferred so we could do that next time we’re gone for an extended period of time. I followed up with screen shots highlighting where they approved our yard work and mulch date and asked why even approve it if you’re gonna turn around and try and fine me over this? And said “You gave me ‘10 days’ to fix all of this from April 17th but only notified me on the 24th, thus giving me only 3 actual days to fix all of this, that is simply either incompetence or intentionally trying to set residents up to fail. I will have all things corrected by ten days from TODAY, April 24th as that is the timeline I should have been given”
Everything moved along fine until yesterday. Our trash gets picked up on Tuesday’s sometimes they collect first thing, sometimes they run late I don’t really care as long as someone comes and picks it up. Like most people with curb trash services, you put your bins out the night before pick up to make sure your bins are emptied. I get an email at TEN PM on Tuesday evening, with a picture of my trash cans on the curb from that morning, saying “your trash cans cannot be out on the curb on non trash collection days” despite Tuesday being the literal fucking day of trash collection.
I immediately hop on our HOW Facebook page and call the entire board out just to find out it’s something just about everyone with the same trash service got a citation for.

Hi everyone,
I'm currently a third-year AE student at UCLA. I'm really interested in aircraft design/analysis. I want to pursue a Master's degree in AE but I have a bit of a dilemma on where to do it.
On one hand, I am guaranteed admission at UCLA through one of their BS/MS programs. I could write a thesis (which does interest me), but the problem is that UCLA research is very theoretical and not very practical/design engineering focused. I'd be researching physical phenomena that relate to aircraft design (say, wind tunnel tests on gusts on a wing), but it wouldn't be anything like designing an aircraft or design based research. Grad coursework is also very much not related to actual aircraft, it's just more advanced fluid mechanics, control, etc. UCLA does have a really nice location though, and LA is a huge aerospace hub.
There are other schools that aren't like this (Georgia Tech, Embry-Riddle, Purdue, etc). The master's programs seem a lot more interesting to me, since a lot of the research is design based, and more directly relevant to what I want to work in (I want to work on actual aircraft, not just in a research lab). They also have more courses directly related to aircraft design/analysis, which have always been my favorite courses. However, I'd have to apply to grad schools, move somewhere completely new (which I don't want to do), and probably spend more time on the degree (I can finish the UCLA master's degree in 1 year since I'm ahead right now, but I'd have to spend maybe 2 years elsewhere). It would also likely be more expensive, since I have in-state tuition from UCLA.
I know the common sentiment is to just get an industry job, and have that pay for the master's degree later down the road, but I really think that I want to get all of my education done before I devote myself to working an industry job. It would be really hard for me to go back to school after becoming accustomed to industry.
So my question is, does it matter where I go to grad school, and what courses I take (aircraft vs theoretical)? If so, will the research/thesis I do impact my job prospects? UCLA would be much easier to go through but my fear is I'll be stuck working in a research lab forever, where if I went to another school, I'd have an easier time breaking in to direct aircraft design/analysis in industry.
Thanks!

My husband and I are both 29. Been living in our new apartment for two months now. I’ve recently had a lot of stress at work and am in between jobs (starting a new one Monday, I’m a nurse he’s a SAHD). My husband is undocumented. Due to the extra stress, I won’t lie, we’ve been screaming at each other because I have been stressed out. Sometimes my daughter cries. My husband will nit pick something my daughter did and I’ll scream at him for it when before it wouldn’t usually bother me so much. We have never ever hit 6f. Sometimes she will earn herself a 10 minute time out instead of 6 minutes when she’s mean to the cat or something along those lines but that’s it. She has no bruises or marks. She talks back to us, and definitely isn’t scared of us. I know I need to stop yelling, and my husband does too and we fully plan to. I know it’s not fair to the neighbors. All this said what can we expect? I’ve heard horror stories of kids being taken for no reason other than trafficking. She’s been to all her doctors, dentals, and vision exams ever. She has plenty of clothes, a few toys. I don’t have much furniture because we just moved into the apartment which is 1 bedroom. Plenty of food. We’re actively involved at her school. We love our daughter and this has scared us shitless, knocked us in our senses so to speak. I don’t have anything to hide, but I also want to cut and run because of the horror stories. Any advice? What does dcfs look for? Can I deny them entry? What are my right? Do I get an attorney- I will fight fire with fire? I will take my daughter out of the country if they even dare try to take her.