Hey! I’m David. I’m 20M from the USA. I’m currently a college student studying communications. I’m not sure exactly what I want to do with my career, maybe something politically involved.
I don’t typically have a ton of free time during the week due to classes, studying, and the time I spend as part of my college’s tennis team.
However, I absolutely love romcoms and comedies! Best kind of movie. I also watch a lot of sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother is such a great show.
Outside of TV/Movies, I play video games too. Skyrim is a favorite of mine, but I play a good mix other than shooters.
I hope we get to know each other better!
Note: I am straight, I’m not interested in any sort of relationship with a guy

So I (20F) have known this girl, let's call her Em (fake name, 20F), for a whole bunch of years.
To be precise, we actually first met when we were little, but neither of us remembers it.
My mom has been friends with my "aunt" (not biological) since they were in high-school. As they grew older, of course, their families expanded. My aunt had three kids, who would be my cousins. Her mom's side of the family is from a another country that shares borders with ours. Her brother, who lives in said country, had 5 kids, four girls and one boy. We're unrelated. They're my "cousins" actual cousins.
Most of my family (this aunt and cousins included) live in another part of my country, so when I was a kid I used to go over the summer and stay most of it there to see everyone. It seems that when we were kids, we all hung out once, there's even a picture to prove it, but again, no one bellow age 25 remembers that.
Well one of those summers, when I was 14, I went to visit and went over to my aunt's for dinner. That's when Em and I kind of really met, and boy do I remember that.
We all said our hellos, and we sat down at the table, she was sitting across me. All night we made small that, and I really liked her.
I was always openly gay, never really had a "coming out of the closet", since no one in my family cares. They've always been supportive of me. Her family, though, it's a different story.
Her siblings are great, and they're also cool about that, but her parents (specially her mom) are catholics (if I remember correctly, her dad or one of their uncles is a preist) soooo yeah we weren't really openly flirting at the dinner table.
But then, us young ones went away to play cards. She was playing against me, 3 vs 3, only this time she was sitting almost beside me.
The stolen glances, the grazing of hands, the little smirks. I remember the way she looked at me, like she didn't understand what or why she was feeling something, but she knew she was. She found me attractive, but with the not-really-but-just-met situation and her parents, we just stuck with that. I only saw her once again that summer, same thing, only for a whole day. And then back in my hometown as they were passing through to go back to their country
We exchanged numbers, and when we talked she confessed she liked me, a lot, but didn't know what to do in that moment. It was new to her, though that didn't really bother her much. I remember she said something along the lines of "It’s like I was so mesmerized by you and at the same time so confused that I just froze, but I would've kissed you if we had seen each other again, and if it happens I will".
Well, six years passed.
Not being actually related and living in two different countries kind of made it impossible and of course, naturally, contact faded and every once in a while we'd talk again as if no time had passed.
Eventually she got a boyfriend, I had a few relationships two. Long term and serious on both accounts, but we never not talked at least a couple times a year (respectfully, of course).
I guess I never really stopped liking her, bjt it was more of a distant thing than anything else. Every time we talked tho it was great. We woukd catch up, open up about things we would otherwise keep quiet, etc. It's like we always gravitated back to each other, both in thought and in speaking terms (on both accounts).
Eventually, when she finished high-school, she followed her older siblings footsteps and moved to a city near mine to attend college, that was around a year or two ago.
She broke up with her boyfriend a few months back, I did so too.
And three days ago, I replied to a story she has uploaded on her insta and, well, here comes the best part.
We started talking, catching up, and I can't really remember why but the conversation eventually led to me saying I found her pretty. She replied it was mutual. I'll try to recall the conversation below.
"Wait, do you still like me after all these years?"
"Well, yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I mean, we didn't see each other again, grew older and you even had a boyfriend, I thought maybe the feeling had passed for you"
"Yeah I mean I isolated myself a lot in that relationship, it sucked, but I never not liked you, nor forgot about you, it was just impossible"
"Well, it's not anymore. I still like you too, and I've been wanting this for years"
"So have I, I want to go see you"
I remember I told her that when I saw she had a boyfriend I didn't really wanna force or ruin anything cuz she seemed happy and I liked that, and she told me she would've left him in a heartbeat for me the second she'd known I still liked her.
We also talked about her family. She told me her mom actually found out about our little chat back in 2018 and got kind of mad, but Em told her to screw off and not go through her phone again, and that's the end of it. One of her sisters noticed then too, but just told her good for her and also never mentioned it again.
Then the same day I replied to her story, she had told her older sister and a friend of hers about me, since they were reminiscing about summers, told them she was still into me.
The rest of the conversation was one I'd never had with her. She told me she liked me, and what things. She thinks I'm pretty, she thinks I'm funny. Smart, talented, good. I honestly don't know if all l of it is true but to hear her so starstruck, just like when we were 14, made my heart skip a beat. It was adorable. And then, well, it derailed into a more... uhm... mature conversation about plans we had for each other? If you get what I mean lol.
And that's where we are now. We're both having exams right now so we're planning to meet up next week when we're done.
IM SO EXCITED!
We miss each other, and we've wanted to hang out for ages. Not only that, but her now openness to be with me and enjoy it is so both refreshing and adorable. She calls me names, compliments me, tells me she wants me.
I never would've thought it would actually happen, not at least for a few more years. I also wouldn't have thought that shy girl I met would be so openly flirty with me, even on voice messages.
She's told me about a hundred times already how much she's wanted this, that's she's so glad it's gonnaa finally happen, that she's wondered what it's like to kiss me ever since she met me.
It's mutual, it's all mutual.
I feel giddy, excited, and I definitely feel wanted, and it's amazing.
Just wanted to rant about it and her, she's honestly amazing and beautiful. Kind, smart. Her accent drives me crazy and when she speaks her native language I literally feel weak.
Six years. Six years always thinking about each other (and many of those times it's like we mind-called each other beacuse we'd end up talking again). The girl I've had a crush on for the longest and never got, and we finally have the space, place and time to do it. This is it, it's our moment. And I definitely plan to enjoy every minute of it. She's worth it. So, so worth it.
Have a nice day everyone, Imma go talk to her lol bye

I'll try to be as brief as possible, but so sorry that this is gonna be long. Please also, if you're only going to say "NO CONTACT" that is not helpful. My post is just gonna show how drugs and alcohol can affect everyone in the family. If you are struggling, get help because you are not only ruining your lives but the lives and relationships of everyone around you.
Background: My MIL has been addicted to alcohol, pills and marijuana since my husband was a child. Lots of trauma from that, that deserves a post on its own. For the 12 years I've been with my husband, it's been a never-ending cycle of using/drinking, going to rehab, getting sober, slipping up but hiding it, rinse and repeat.
Ever since having kids, she wants the privilege being a grandma but obviously chooses the alcohol and drugs over them every time since she has never stayed sober. Because of that and the fact that DH's family members (mostly FIL) also hide/lie about her sobriety, we've decided that since we can't ever fully trust her, she cannot see the kids without either me or DH being around. Previously (and more than once), we had celebrated a whole year (or so we thought) of her being sober and given her unrestricted access to the kids (sleepovers, her taking them out) when we let our guards down and feel like we can trust her again, only to find out later that she wasn't sober. Because all of the back and forth, no contact, awkward family gatherings because we didn't want her around, we decided that we are just going to assume she is not 100% sober and we can't trust her to be alone with our kids (even if FIL is around too because he hides her drug use from us).
Me & DH agreed that... - She can see the kids, as long as one of us is around - She is not drinking and/or high (we can 100% tell and she will avoid us if she is, cancel plans, not show up, etc) - No babysitting, sleepovers, she can't take our kids anywhere
This allowed her to still be in the kids' lives and not make family gatherings awkward and cause more drama.
Despite these rules, that we have told over and over again, she continues to ask to babysit and for sleepovers. We (DH) tell her no, she says ok and acts all sad and throws herself a pity party and then waits a period of time (couple of weeks, months) and then asks again like we forgot. Sometimes she even says "I've been sober" or "I'm going to therapy" or the worst one "I did rehab, isn't that enough for you?" We think she still asks because 1. She's not very smart. 2. She thinks if she keeps asking we'll give in. 3. SIL still allows her son to sleepover, so why not us? (SIL complains about MIL all of the time and how she doesn't trust her but she still allows this...don't know why, but not our kid, not our problem). DH has a huge problem with this because SIL talks about how much she hates her mom yet still loves the free babysitter, again, it's shitty but that's her life/decision.
Recently, she asked DH again for a sleepover because nephew (SIL's son) was sleeping over. DH hadn't responded to her yet, but did bring it up to me. Of course I was like uhhhh, did she forget...again? Both of us had a deep convo about it, mostly because how triggered I get when she asks because during my postpartum with my 1st son, she treated me horribly...would act so supportive and loving one moment and then say cruel things to me while I was in the darkest depths of my postpartum depression, broke my trust with the drugs/drinking and DH at the time looked the other way (he didn't side with her, he just told me this is how she is and we just have to deal with it, she means well but I have to look past the drinking/drugs). Well, I put up a fight because NO I was not dealing with it and allowing an active drug addict to be around my kids and that he's fucked up because of her when he was growing up. He saw the light and promised to always have my back and stick up for our marriage and kids.
More of the convo revolved around my guilt to allow her in the kids life, she seems to truly want to be involved, but has her demons and chooses drugs/alcohol/lies instead. And obviously, I am always the one to be blamed for any limited contact with the kids although, DH says he agrees with our choices and shuts his mom down every time.
We also discuss the really weird sleeping arrangements for sleepovers they have at FIL & MIL's from what I hear. They have no spare bedrooms, tons of animals dogs/cats. Nephew, who is 6, has never slept in his own bed at home (he sleeps with his mom and always has). No hate towards co-sleeping parents, you do you...but when he sleeps at MIL & FIL's, he sleeps in bed WITH him. That's a big no for me if this were my kids. No bed, how about the couch? No, my son has severe animal allergies, especially cats, and the animals hang out on the couch, it's full of hair and dander. My parents also have cats and they make sure he has an animal free room to sleep in if he sleeps over. He needs to sleep in an animal free room, in-laws don't have that. At our house we have 2 dogs and 1 cat, and manage his allergies well by not allowing them in his room. (The animal allergy thing is important, don't forget that!) So even if she was sober and trustworthy, he couldn't still sleepover because they can't accommodate the sleeping arrangement he needs. After chatting about this stuff, DH says he will call his mom and remind her once again and that the answer is NO.
A couple of days go by and we see MIL & FIL at a family get-together. Everything seems normal, MIL is not acting out of the ordinary. FIL randomly tells me, "MIL is getting rid of all of her cats." which is odd, she's had them for years, she loves them. Taken aback, when I ask why, he says, I don't know and doesn't bring it up again. We get home and SIL comes over and we are chatting , she says, did you know MIL is getting rid of all of her cats so DS can sleepover? And I start to laugh. Yeah, that's the reason...and SIL laughs too and agrees (she knows our rule). But she says, yeah FIL said you (as in me, not DH) said DS can't sleepover because they have cats. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure DH told her it was because the drugs/alcohol, she's probably making that excuse but now I'm worried that she is really gonna get rid of those poor cats! I flag DH into the room to verify to SIL that he told her what we talked about days before and he's like no I didn't remind her that she can't have alone time with the kids because of the drugs/alcohol, I just blamed that cats and sleeping arrangement so I didn't have her hear her crying and whining.
I'm shocked and pissed. I ask DH why he gave that excuse and instead of what we talked about and he just got upset and blamed his mom for everything; how he hates talking to her, she's a POS, etc, etc. It's a tough subject for him to talk about because of all of the trauma he's experienced growing up, to what she put me through, the drama involving the kids, etc. Working through it with him in the past has been tough because he just wants to block it all out. SIL apologizes for bringing it up (not her fault) and leaves.
That night, I tell DH I am disappointed that he didn't tell his mom the real reason why our kids are not, and will not, sleepover. I told him by blaming the cats, makes (me) look like an asshole because I am blamed by default and gives her false hope for the future. She is batshit crazy and for some reason hellbent on having the kids (without us, seriously WTF is that about?!) He says he agrees that that is the real reason but is tired of being a broken record and saying the same thing over and over again. I tell him I felt like I did back in postpartum where he didn't have my back again. He felt really bad and didn't really talk to me much even the next day. He said he feels so ashamed of his family, his mom in particular, embarrassed and feels as though he let me down. He tells me time and time again that we can cut his parents off completely, but of course it will come with a cost and collateral damage, that's not worth doing IMO.
We are working through it, I feel bad that I got mad at him, I just am tired of all of this bullshit as well, although that is nothing new. It sucks that her shitty behavior, time and time again, causes so much turmoil. From what I hear, she doesn't see it that way. I don't know if she is that delusional or really just doesn't care about anyone else but herself. ALL of her kids dislike her, if not hate her, and I truly believe that is the reason why she clings onto the grandkids so much, they don't know the true person she is...yet.

If you’re new to the community, feel free to introduce yourself!
A bit about me: My name is Constance (she/her). I’m a 30-year old trans woman in Boston, MA, USA. I’m gray-ace, poly, and bisexual, and married to a lovely wife. I’ve been a big fan of prog rock and metal for about a decade, ever since I watched Children of Men in a college film class and heard “In the Court of the Crimson King.” These days, I’m a diehard fan of several bands (lately having gotten extremely into Haken), and after all these years, my favorite album is still Dark Side of the Moon.

Hi, I’ve seen a lot of posts going around about how dry food can cause UTIs or blockages that can kill your cats. Something about the overall dryness of it and not having enough moisture in their diet. I saw a few people talk about how their cats went from perfectly healthy to dead within a month simply because of the lack of moisture and it’s been making me anxious.
I love my cat dearly, I’ve had him since he was a kitten and he’s basically my baby. He’s about 5 years old now so he’s lived with me for awhile and been on a dry food diet once he was weened. I give him wet food on special occasions or as a treat, but not regularly. I’m a broke college student that can barely afford to eat myself so buying cans of wet food everyday isn’t ideal but I’d rather go hungry for a bit than have to let my cat go.
Are there any alternatives to wet food that are relatively cheap but help with moisture? I’m also wondering how I should go about transitioning him from dry food to wet food, I don’t want to upset his stomach.

How do I Process my coming out?
I’m not really great at posting or talking about things but I kind of don’t really know where to find the best feedback something like this so I figured I would try my luck here.
A couple of weeks ago, I met up with someone who was an older gay man and we were talking and as the night went on we talked about our coming out stories. He told me his story and his experience and then it was my turn. For some years now, whenever it would come up I would just say that I knew I was gay when I was teenager and just came out when I was 19 to my mom while I was in college. This person asked if there was a reason. I tried to remember back to if there was one (I’m 29 now, so this was all almost 10 years ago) and then I started to remember why I came out in the first place.
I had just gotten off work that day and it was awful. My roommate was 21 at the time and before I left for work I left some money for him to buy me a handle of Jäger and after I got home I knocked back the handle in under an hour or so. After a couple of hours my roommate came home and said some of his friends were coming by to watch the game and asked if I wanted to join them. My roommate and his friends were all straight and I thought we all got along well so I was excited. His friends came over and we were having a good time until the one of my roommates friends showed up that I didn’t like. I went about my night and didn’t let it bother me. I was having fun and kept drinking and surprisingly didn’t black out. As the evening went on, my roommate and his friends were going to the bars. I couldn’t go since I didn’t have a fake and I needed to sleep it off.
A few minutes go by, and I get a text from my roommate saying his friend (the one I didn’t care for) had to come back up and get his wallet. He came alone and I let him into the apartment. I tear the apartment apart looking for his wallet and said to him it’s not here. I turn around and he’s sitting down in a chair not looking for his wallet. I asked him “what are you doing”. He said I know you’re gay. From there it erupted to us shouting at each other and I said he had no right to do this. I wanted him out but he wouldn’t leave. I hit him and hit him. He grabbed my arm and said don’t do that again. I hit him with my free hand. Then he grabbed me and we rolled around on the floor hitting each other. I screamed for help and no one came. He got up a couple of minutes later said something and left.
He came around a couple of more times after that but I haven’t seen this person in a long time. I hadn’t thought about this in a long time and I don’t know why I’m starting to remember all of it. It was after that event, I figured since I lived in such a small town people are going to know if they didn’t already and that made me come out to my mom.
Is this normal? How do I process this?

First time OP here, hope I don’t sound like too much of a noob, but I’m trying to make sense of all the choices for non-range practice. I’m very new to CCW, have not even carried publically yet (and TBH not sure I’m going to). Main objective is home defense (wife and I had an attempted breakin a couple of years ago). We have a Mossburg 12 gauge, I’ve got a Canik TP9SFX, she’s got a Browning 1911 in 380ACP. There’s also a Browning Buckmark 22 in the mix. None of these are ideal but we took what we could get mid-lockdown. All are open to upgrade or replace.
Anyway, I’m quite aware of my need to practice more. I get to the range maybe once a month for an hour to shoot the 22, 9 and 12g. She comes along when time permits. Both of us are working professionals out of the home. No little kids…a 12, 15, 17, 19, 21 and 35 y.o. who are with us part time (we’re both parents and grandparents so some are some in college and visit, some stay with us a couple nights a week).
We’d like to invest in a non-range system to get more practice of fundamentals in, while nailing down the logistics of a solid plan. We’re a bit baffled by all the different offerings on the market, as well as the different offerings within brands. Like the Mantis products, seems there are at least three different systems they offer and it’s not clear to me which would be appropriate. And there are several other systems out there. How to choose?😀
Feel free to just point me at an existing resource for knowledge if you know of one. TIA

Male vocalist – producesinger seeks male singers Between the ages of 18-40 For a Singing group “Backstreet Boys NSYNC 98 degrees” We are looking for 1-2 singers I already have 3 members ( including myself) I'm looking for people that have a passion for this kind of thing and can commit to the group. We will predominantly be singing and dancing, if you aren't a strong dancer you should still audition we will learn how to dance to get better . The goal for this group is to meet on Zoom regularly until we can plan a time for us all to meet up in person. This group will be traveling in the future to do shows, music videos, recording sessions, photo shoots, etc. even if you aren't in the same state as me - I'm looking for people from all over the United States.
to audition. -Video submission (audition/Q&A)- 1. Introduce yourself (Name, age, where you're from and stage name if you have one) 2. Sing an acapella verse. 3. Tell me about yourself and why you think you would be a great fit for the group. 4. Show me your personality. 5. Tell me your favorite boyband/guy group. 6. Who has been your biggest inspiration? 7. Who supports you the most? 8. Feel free to tell me anything else you'd like me to know.

Hey guys! I'm very much a beginner in touch designer, just opened it for the first time. I would like to use it for a multimedia poetry work in school. Is there any easy (and free, I'm broke) way to have speech to text in touchdesigner? I tried searching some tutorials, but they all seem to be related to chat gpt and other complex stuff and I really only wanted to write the spoken text on the screen to deform it later 😅
Thanks in advance for the help

Hello people of bass
Do I buy a Fender Rumble LT 25 (CAD $175) or a Fender Rumble 40 v3 (CAD $250) on Facebook marketplace?
I've also seen multiple Rumble 15s listed. I'm a beginner. I've only played an acoustic bass (washburn) before and am picking up a squire affinity p bass tmrw. I plan on using the amp to practice in my room (and later, college dorm room). I also want to use it to jam with friends (with guitar, drums and violin).
Edit: Also please suggest any other good options. My budget is CAD $300 and I'm not planning on upgrading for atleast 2/3 years (low-key broke student rn)

I remember the last time I was with you. The sound of your breathing echos through my mind from that day. Constantly. When you were standing behind me & you finally just let life go, I don't know why that stood out in my mind so much, but I can't forget that very moment. It was like you broke free from everything that was bothering you in that very second & surrendered to it just being us. And it was the craziest thing, because you kept asking if I was okay. And I wasn't sure why. I think deep down, deep deep down, we both knew in our spirit that was going to be our last time together. You knew I couldn't let go like I normally do, I couldn't help but hold on tight. Something in us knew.. even though I couldn't see it then. It's so evident now. I tried to hold on. I tried anything & everything I could to try to draw you back in. To try to be in your presence. To not have to miss you again. To not have to be without you. I don't want to know a life without you & I've said it a million times. I need you here. In some way, I need to always know you're okay. Trying to hold unto you was impossible, I was swimming against the current and everything from my past that would have worked for anyone hit a wall with you. There were so many things I had to unlearn & I dove into the darkness ripping up everything that kept me from you. Everything that wasn't me. You deserve the most amazing love this world has ever seen. Your heart is what mine beats for. Anywhere in this world you go, with whoever, whenever you do, make absolute sure you're happy. Peace should always surround you & the world should melt when it looks into your eyes. I pray everyday that it is you, I still do. I couldn't imagine it ever being anyone else, you're with me wherever I go.. still. I pray the stars align. If they don't, I will always search for you in every corner of this earth and in every galaxy after time to make sure love covers you for all the days of your life. You deserve everything beautiful, you're incredible just being you. ❤️

Hey everyone,
Let me preface this by saying: I am an addict and completely addicted to Feel Free, primarily Kratom as well. There is no one in my life that I am able to share this with for a variety of reasons, so I just kinda wanted to write my thoughts and story on this thread.
I’ve been taking Kratom on and off for the last few years, and had my first Feel Free at some time in October. My usage was innocent enough at first, up until the end of December I would never take more than two in a day. During the beginning of January, I took three in one day for the first time. What happened next was one of the more terrifying events that has ever happened to me. I had the worst panic attack I have ever had in my life, it was so bad that I went to the ER because I thought I was having a heart attack. Everything was great, and I even got an ECHO done to make sure I was in good shape.
Believe it or not, that event did not stop my usage. It only increased it significantly. Over the past few months, I have been taking anywhere from 4-7 bottles per day.
Every day and night is the exact same for me. I start my day at the gas station buying a few bottles, will occasionally leave work to get more, and then end the night by stopping at a different gas station to get one or two more for the night. While I lay in bed at night, I am filled with the worst self-loathing and hate that anyone could imagine. I truly hate myself for using, which is so sad. That is not who I am, I am a happy and loving individual who has taken steps throughout my life to be the best version of myself possible. I recently graduated college and have my dream job, and am in a long-term relationship with the person I intend to marry.
Around the time I had my ER visit, I came clean to her about my usage and swore to never use again. That was five months ago, and as we know, I did not quit.
Feel Free is truly an evil and terrible product. I would never lie to anyone, especially the love of my life. But Feel Free has manipulated my mind to the point where I feel like I have to keep going back. Over the last month or so, I have began to throw up once I take more than 5 bottles in a day. That is so fucked up, how can I continue to use something that is consistently making me physically sick?
I hit my own personal version of Rock Bottom a few hours ago. I took 7 Feel Frees today. Not long after my last bottle, I went to the grocery store. I became so nauseous and dizzy that I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. Throwing up at a grocery store in the middle of the day was one of the most demoralizing things that has ever happened to me, and I am deeply ashamed and saddened.
The money is an entirely different topic, but I am starting to see the negative repercussions from spending $70 per day on a bottle from the gas station.
I feel like I have tried so many different methods to quit. I’ve written myself notes, recorded voice memos that I listen to in the morning, but nothing has been successful. I WANT to quit more than anything. It’s beyond time. I actually just scheduled a doctor’s appointment for next week so that I can get blood work done in order to find out if I have damaged my body. I am going to do everything in my power to not use again. I do not want to lie once again to my doctor about my usage.
Thank you all for reading and for being there. I have a lot of things to be greatful for in my life, and this burden is preventing that from happening.

broke up with my LDR
Hey everyone!
Yesterday we had a mutual breakup of my 2 year long relationship. I initiated this breakup but he was feeling the same way.
We broke up in very good terms and even said that we would attempt to become friends after giving each other some time. He also said that he had tickets to come to visit me this Friday. I told him initially that I didnt want to see him because that would mess the idea of us being friends. After the breakup I started feeling an immense amount of pain, I still want him in my life. As friends.
We are long distance and we have always been, but lately seeing other had became difficult because I was the one usually visiting but this year his sister moved in with him. I moved out alone but he is always busy with college and he can come only on very short term visits.
The relationship was on decline since then, we also have core differences that would make it hard for both of us to continue being in a relationship. I also feel we are both limiting each other in actually living our life when we are not with each other and we have no long term plans to move together or anything.
I started wanting to see other people as well.
He also told me he would have loved to discuss this in person. Today I called him and told him that as he could not return the ticket and as he was available to see me after months and we both missed each other and that we deserved the chance to talk things through in person, that if he wanted to come visit me anyways. I am not so sure this is a good idea, but its what I feel. I feel its correct to give us the chance to talk everything through in person.
I am not sure if we will continue being in a relationship, I do think that it can work if we would see each other in a more casual way while still being friends. I am not sure if this could work out. Or if it would be better to end it in good terms.
I would really love some advice regarding all.
What do you think about it all? Can you help me?
I would highly appreciate it.

Hello! I am asian american and 15 years old, a sophomore in high school, and today we just got out yearbooks for the school year.
To preface this conversation, my self confidence has been on a downward spiral recently as I notice more and more flaws about myself. This has been going on for a few months and my parents are aware of this. My mom, also understanding my struggles, has tried to help me be more positive; she even told me that I started to look prettier because I was happier. My father and I usually have a lot of conversation about my daily life and struggles where I have told him that I like honesty - which I guess I regret a bit now. However, he has told me that he has a high EQ and a great sense of social awareness, so I assumed that would apply to most cases. When I told him about my insecurities, he kept telling me to just "be confident" and that if an average looking person like me wasn't satisfied with my looks, then how could the ugly people live. Looking back, I understand his statement, but in my state of self loathing, I wouldn't let his words through. But still, after his "pep talk," I still kept degrading myself and would look sullen because of this. I would even cry everyday because of how much I hated my looks - both my parents knew somewhat of what I was going through. From time to time, my dad would also comment on my attitude since I was pretty negative during that time (I will admit, I was the AH during those encounters). Recently, however, I am glad to say that I am slowly recovering and experimenting with makeup to enhance my looks.
Sorry for the long FYI, on to the story. When he picked me up from school today I showed him my yearbook picture, and I joked how I kinda looked like a boy (the picture was taken at the beginning of the year, so I look quite different as my acne had cleared up). After saying that, he said how I should stop parting my hair and just put it up in a ponytail without a part. I will admit that this next part may be my fault, but I got a little frustrated and in an annoyed tone, I told him that I know I shouldn't part my hair (he had told me when I was feeling down) and that I can't change the past of when I took the yearbook picture. I also forgot to add that both my father and I are ill-tempered (like father-like daughter I guess). So when I was agitated, he got mad saying that since I showed him, he was going to say something and that he couldn't say nothing. He proceeded to throw the book to an empty seat and angrily drove off. For the rest of the car ride, we didn't talk.
When we got home, I was trying to be a better person (compared to before) so I called out to my mom, trying to hide my anger, for dinner. The moment my mouth blurted out a sound, my dad starts angrily scolding me, saying how he hated my attitude and that if I was so "amazing" why don't I make my own money and do my own things. He said that he and my mom had done so much for me as to attend a great high school and that they had keep working when they could've already retired. He noted that if I was in a family of 5 (referencing to one of our family friends) that no one would care about me. He said that he had spent countless nights unable to sleep thinking about my college app (which I truly am grateful for, but I never implied that I wanted him to do so much work. I will also note, he does go to the extreme, sometimes). He continued to rant about the same things and others along similar lines before he stormed out.
I ran to the bathroom crying. I had a panic attack which made me start to overthink. And I don't know if I'm in teh wrong.
More things I want to point out (sorry for writing so much) is that my dad always tells me how "he's not like other asian parents," and in a sense, he is different, but at the same time, I'm starting to wonder if he is a narcisist. Funny enough, he was the one who introdcued me to a youtube channel about dealing with narcisists (Dr. Ramani). I googled narcisist anger symptoms and other signs of narcisim and I guess they match up, for the most part. I also felt like he was gaslighting me during his rebuke, but I may also be victimizing myself.
I mainly just want identification on my situation and what I should do about it for the next 2 years before I go to college. (if you need anymore information I will gladly provide it).
Thank you! - I was in a rush, so I apologize for grammar or spelling errors.

hi before i begin this i just wanted to say this might be very long and ranty and the grammar won’t be correct. thank you if you choose to go on!!
i’m a female and i won’t disclose my age (i’m a teen) but since i was about 11 i’ve explored being bi. realizing i liked girls wasn’t a hard thing for me to truly accept to myself although i grew up with a homophobic scary father who could definitely hurt me if i told him about this. since i realized i liked girls i’ve always worried that maybe i’m just doing it for a show and maybe i’m just trying to be different. since i labeled myself as bi being unsure of that label and having no label is very uncomfortable and although some people would say just go with the flow which i do agree with that as i said i feel very uncomfortable to not be able to say to others or to myself what i am without feeling guilt that what i’m saying isn’t true. when i was in 7th grade when i was about 12 i started dating boys and my first “relationship” he guilt tripped me into being with him and when he broke up with me i felt the need to be sad or itd be like i never liked him so i forced myself to cry. then i dated his friend (…) i definitely liked him friend more however one night i started talking to this girl and i realized i did like her so the next morning i broke up with my then boyfriend for her. none of my “relationship” lasted very long about 2 weeks for the guys and around 1 month for the girl. but when i started talking to that girl i would talk about my ex and say that i missed him which i did (i feel awful about that). she broke up with me a few days after school ended and it didn’t hit me in the moment but when we went back for 8th grade i felt EXTREMELY hurt and i missed her a ton but what if i just missed our friendship? we talked again in 8th grade when i was 13 and she broke it off again (it hit me even harder that time) then we decided to stay friends (i still really liked her) then i met this boy and i do believe i really did like him but even when i liked him that girl was still on my mind always. to this day i believe she’s the only one out of my relationships that i truly loved and would go back to. the love i felt for her exceeded anything i had ever felt for a boy. and throughout all of this i’ve always felt unsure that i truly liked boys, that me liking girls wasn’t just an act. i’ve tried multiple labels but i always go back to thinking maybe i’m lesbian. i’m not sure i resonate deeply with anything in the lesbian media i feel like my experience if i am lesbian is so strange that i can’t bring my to think i have the right to identify with any lesbian character or celebrity. i’m still young and i haven’t slept or even kissed anyone and i don’t plan to for the time being. i’ve tried the lesbian label and sometimes when it was late at night when everyone was sleeping when i was 11 i would watch lesbian shows and feel okay with that label until the morning came then i’d feel the worry that it’s all just a show again. if i see an attractive guy and i recognize that i feel like i’m betraying the label of being lesbian. me liking girls is rare but maybe that’s just because they’re true feelings and not something i can’t just switch off like i can with guys. i’ve liked guys in the past but the thought of being with one now isn’t truly appealing to me. i feel like hearing just wait and see doesn’t help me because i have waited and i haven’t seen anything.
thank you for reading this and please give me advice, share your experience, tell me what you think i could be. anything to help me understand what this is. 🩷🩷

I don't really know whether to call this AITA, WIBTA, or petty revenge, but it's a fun story. Also, it is a little long, so I apologize. I (F18), am in my first year of college. I have stayed friends with a group of 4 other girls since age 16 when our friend group founded. I haven't been as close to them recently, but I'm wondering if I'm just over reacting. (BTW, I went an all girls school, so no boy drama).
When I was 16, I was new to my school. It wasn't a super welcoming environment and I was quite unpopular. Introducing Eliza. She calls herself my first friend, but I was actually originally friends with a girl who is insignificant in this story. I clung to Eliza in my first 5 months at school, as I was scared and had never been new to a school before. After a while, Eliza informed me that another girl, Venom, thought I was "stealing her away". I was pretty shocked. However, I starting hanging out with her less and less.
Venom wasn't the only one. Willa, another friend of Eliza was also jealous of me. I was partnered with her for a group project, and we got along quite well. By 2/3 of the way into the school year, we had chosen to sit together in snack, meaning we would have to see each other each day for 15 minutes for a month (we got pick our seats but after we picked, we couldn't move). After the first month, we always chose to sit together. I remember Eliza approaching me and asking if we were friends. Not too long after, SIX formed. This was our friend group name, though there was only 5 of us.
When the friend group formed, I mostly knew of Alex by reputation. She was kind, caring, shy, and in all ways the opposite of a high school mean girl. She was also very smart. The friend group formed because we all loved writing, mystery, violence, and fun. We immediately became close knit, something I didn't realize was so toxic until this year. I remember when we started letting people in it caused drama and Willa said "It's better just the 5 of us." We became so close because we came together to start an etsy store together. Anyways, either right before SIX founded or right after, I was partnered with Alex by the same teacher who started me and Willa's friendship. We bonded and I really enjoyed her company.
By the end of 11th grade, I had a close knit group and people who I believed cared about me. I haven't mentioned the fifth one yet, but nothing significant happened between us until this year. We most hung out of nesecity.
12 grade was mostly uneventful. In fall, SIX disbanded, as Alex though running a business was too dramatic and hard for seniors. We stayed friends, but it marked the end of an era in our friendship. Next, I will go over all the toxic encounters I have had with these people from 12 grade and the start of college, as well as why I dumped them and my petty revenge.
Eliza:
She tends to be distant and uses information to manipulate and show favor. Stills, she is overall the best in the group. She could easily be manipulating us all. She's also jealous when I talk to anyone not in SIX. Like all my "friends" she always took Mary's side in every argument.
Willa:
She said "If I wasn't friends with you, no one would like you." She also told me she uses all her friends. She also uses information to manipulate and show favor. She is jealous when I talk to anyone not in SIX. and of course, she always took Mary's side in every argument
Alex:
She set too high of an expectation of perfection. She gossips about Willa and Eliza to me. She also lied to my face about something, which made me question if she was lying about other things. She never cared when I was upset or sad and never asked if I was ok. No surprise, the queen of perfect also always took Mary's side in every argument.
Mary:
We became friends by gossiping about how annoying Alex is and stuff. She is very judgy and we never got along well. She was going through a lot but never saw that I was going through similar things.
Okay, so that was the backstory. I apologize again for how long it was. It all came out when we were going to a party this year. On the bus I was texting a friend from before I went to the school I met them at. She had heard all my concerns because she doesn't know these people and when I told her I was sitting next to Eliza and Willa she said "They're such bitches." she quickly unsent it and said "I hate them for being so mean to u", but the damage was done. Willa saw the text was really mad and upset. However, we moved past it and Mary and Alex stole mt hair ties. I chased them around, though I was actually annoyed and just wanted my things back. I got one back and then took one of Mary's until she gave mine back. She yelled at me because Alex had taken mine and I told her that they had hidden it together nad she could give it back. Five seconds later, she's so sad because she just wanted it back, and we are screaming at each other. Alex comes to ask me my side of the story and says "Oh don't worry Mary isn't mad at you, she just feels bad for you because everyone hates you." and "Oh I should leave, I don't want Mary to be suspicious I'm talking to you." I laughed both of these of but was actually pretty hurt. I went home soon after and I haven't talked to Mary or Alex since. Both of tried to contact me but I haven't responded.
Ok so recently I had an idea. I need to know if it's too petty. So I mentioned we all like writing. All of us (except Willa) have been writing a story that is 80 ish pages now. I haven't written on it in a while because I wanted to give Mary and Alex space but recently I noticed that the characters are based on us. I, of course, am the villain. It isn't based on real events so it's not like things I've done, just a girl with my name being evil. I noticed that I'm the owner and I'm wondering if I would be justified to remove all of them from it. I know it's evil, but they treated me badly and even my friend, who showed me a lot of ways I'm in the wrong in the past said that I should do it. I know it would be evil, but I want some kind of revenge. Would it be worth it? Any other times I'm in the wrong that I haven't noticed? Please let me know.
TL;DR:
I have been friends with a group of 4 girls since age 16, but I haven't been as close to them recently. I experienced different forms of toxic behavior with each friend in 11th and 12th grades, including their always taking Mary's side in every argument. We got into a petty argument about when I took back her hair ties from Mary and Alex after they stole them. Mary also said everyone hates me. So, am I justified in removing them from a story they have been writing together because they feel that they have been portraying me as the villain? I am considering this as a form of revenge for being treated badly by my friends. I am also seeking feedback on any wrongdoings I may have committed in this story.
Thank you so much for reading!

hi before i begin this i just wanted to say this might be very long and ranty and the grammar won’t be correct. thank you if you choose to go on!!
i’m a female and i won’t disclose my age (i’m a teen) but since i was about 11 i’ve explored being bi. realizing i liked girls wasn’t a hard thing for me to truly accept to myself although i grew up with a homophobic scary father who could definitely hurt me if i told him about this. since i realized i liked girls i’ve always worried that maybe i’m just doing it for a show and maybe i’m just trying to be different. since i labeled myself as bi being unsure of that label and having no label is very uncomfortable and although some people would say just go with the flow which i do agree with that as i said i feel very uncomfortable to not be able to say to others or to myself what i am without feeling guilt that what i’m saying isn’t true. when i was in 7th grade when i was about 12 i started dating boys and my first “relationship” he guilt tripped me into being with him and when he broke up with me i felt the need to be sad or itd be like i never liked him so i forced myself to cry. then i dated his friend (…) i definitely liked him friend more however one night i started talking to this girl and i realized i did like her so the next morning i broke up with my then boyfriend for her. none of my “relationship” lasted very long about 2 weeks for the guys and around 1 month for the girl. but when i started talking to that girl i would talk about my ex and say that i missed him which i did (i feel awful about that). she broke up with me a few days after school ended and it didn’t hit me in the moment but when we went back for 8th grade i felt EXTREMELY hurt and i missed her a ton but what if i just missed our friendship? we talked again in 8th grade when i was 13 and she broke it off again (it hit me even harder that time) then we decided to stay friends (i still really liked her) then i met this boy and i do believe i really did like him but even when i liked him that girl was still on my mind always. to this day i believe she’s the only one out of my relationships that i truly loved and would go back to. the love i felt for her exceeded anything i had ever felt for a boy. and throughout all of this i’ve always felt unsure that i truly liked boys, that me liking girls wasn’t just an act. i’ve tried multiple labels but i always go back to thinking maybe i’m lesbian. i’m not sure i resonate deeply with anything in the lesbian media i feel like my experience if i am lesbian is so strange that i can’t bring my to think i have the right to identify with any lesbian character or celebrity. i’m still young and i haven’t slept or even kissed anyone and i don’t plan to for the time being. i’ve tried the lesbian label and sometimes when it was late at night when everyone was sleeping when i was 11 i would watch lesbian shows and feel okay with that label until the morning came then i’d feel the worry that it’s all just a show again. if i see an attractive guy and i recognize that i feel like i’m betraying the label of being lesbian. me liking girls is rare but maybe that’s just because they’re true feelings and not something i can’t just switch off like i can with guys. i’ve liked guys in the past but the thought of being with one now isn’t truly appealing to me. i feel like hearing just wait and see doesn’t help me because i have waited and i haven’t seen anything.
thank you for reading this and please give me advice, share your experience, tell me what you think i could be. anything to help me understand what this is. 🩷🩷