Hello everyone! I was hoping to visit Japan with some friends some time in the near future and wanted to ask advice on some of the cultural experiences and if they’re morally permissible as a Catholic to do.

1. I’d like to know if there’s any teachings or just people’s opinions on going to the onsens (public baths). They’re almost always separated by gender (and I would make sure the ones I go to are) and from what I understand, it’s very normal so no one is ogling each other or anything. It seems like people just ignore each other and are there to soak up the minerals and hydration.
   
2. Visiting Temples and Shrines. I definitely want to see a bunch of temples and shrines as they are so beautiful and have a lot of cultural and historical significance but where is the line between visiting the temple (and being respectful when doing so) and breaking the first commandment.
   

There seem to be some actions when entering a shrine or temple that I feel would be respectful to the religion. From what I understand, when entering, you wash your hands in a little well and fan incense towards yourself in order to cleanse yourself before entering the temple. These are the biggest ones I kinda want to do to just show respect in other’s place of worship, similar to how I am happy when tourists are quiet, respectful, and even sometimes do a little bow towards the tabernacle when they visit my church.
Things I don’t “need” to do but think sound fun are: getting little local good luck charms and getting fortunes (not like a fortune teller but like paper fortunes that usually just say whether you’ll have good luck or bad luck).
I know the actual ringing of the temple bells and clapping your hands in prayer is probably a no go because you’re replicating a prayer to another god even if that’s not your intent. But I’m not as sure with the other things and would love other’s perspectives!
Thank you!

Hey guys
I'm 5 months pregnant and due in September. I'm a 23 YO girl who just got out of homelessness. I am in credit card debt, my score falls more and more each day, and I suffer from a range of mental illnesses (Depression, bipolar -doctors suspect, still need tests ran to confirm -ADHD, OCD, and anxiety)
I just got back into school, and I'm getting used to "being a student" again. Surprisingly, I'm doing very well - I actually graduated with the top of my class back in high school, so academics are something that have always come easy to me. As far as employment, I work an extremely part time job as of now and barely get any hours in. Before I went back to school, I was a notorious job hopper, mostly due to personal life reasons but a few reasons being job performance and anger out bursts + rage quitting at work.
before discovering how dysfunctional and incapable of fitting into society I was - it has always been a dream of mine to be a mom. I feel like I come from a very broken and estranged family, so being able to find/create a family of my own has always been the goal.
I have calmed down and started working on myself a few months before discovering I was pregnant. I plan on getting on medication as soon as my son arrives and I am actively looking for CBT therapists to hopefully help me become functional again. My patience has gotten better and my anger issues are also improving.
When I was a homeless dancer, I was on drugs (coke, alcohol, adderall, and made some wreckless and impulsive decisions, especially concerning my sexual safety). I slept with 4 guys, but all wore condoms except 2. I would have to request a paternity test from both of them to confirm who the father is, but the guy I really suspect is a long time FWB I had long before becoming homeless. I slept with him to get coke.
That should tell you enough about the mental aptitude of me and the father. He's actually in a good place financially and could help out with co-parenting but he's made it clear he doesn't want to be a father and even told me to go get an abortion even though I'm 5 months in.
I don't want to be associated with either of those two guys after my son is born.
I can't even afford my OBGYN visits - I have to figure out how to meet the deductible for my insurance company or I have to call an adoption agency and find a family who's willing to cover my labor and OBGYN appointments. I also heard horror stories of new borns being taken from their birth mother immediately after labor and I already know myself and know I wouldn't handle a situation like that. I would like to have AT LEAST 30 minutes of holding my baby or spending a few days in the hospital with him before he's taken from me.
I've convinced myself that if I were to put my son up for adoption, he would come back in my life but that is no guarantee. I'm convinced my financial situation will improve though, and I do think my mental health will be a lot better within the next 5 years but those are no guarantee either. With or without my child, I want to improve my life and I can feel myself never going back to what I was before. My plans are to get a job working assistant admin by next year since I'll have my associates, pay my credit card debt off, and by the time I graduate with my bachelor's, I hope I can land a better paying admin job.
I already know once my son is here, and if I have to give him up for adoption, I'll live everyday with a bitter and broken heart. I was already kind of detached and cold and felt so spiteful and bitter about the world before he came, when I have to give him up, I know I'll be hurt yet again by the world, but at the same time I would love with soooo much relief knowing he's in the hands of a loving two parent home with all the resources he needs. And if something happens with the adoption/foster care system, I pray I'll be in a better financial situation by then and let him come back home.

I've had my eyes set on U of T for as long as I can remember, but now, I'm starting to having doubts... I've been accepted to UWaterloo's Math + Co-op and U of T's Physical and Mathematical Sciences. Truthfully, I don't quite know what I'd like to pursue for a living, but it'd either be a PhD or high school mathematics teacher. I suppose I'm leaning towards high school math teacher since A) less competitive & arguably easier
B) stable job with summer vacation & other benefits. But again, I don't know what I'd like to do.
I know that both U of T and UWaterloo will provide me with an excellent education for undergradauate, but I don't know which I should choose. I know that U of T also has the Masters of Teaching program which would also make me very employable, even without all of the experience that I'd get at UW.
What would you guys suggest for:

1. only pursuing PhD
   
2. only pursuing high school mathematics teaching
   
3. undecided ?
   

Note: I guess I'm leaning towards uoft. I'm potentially interested in pursuing a Minor in English, so uoft might provide a better education for that. And from what I've heard, uoft is pretty flexible in terms of changing your career path or something. I also really like the st. george campus and being downtown.

Hi all, I have seen a few comments on Reddit and YouTube regarding Google and their future. As you all know the competition in the search space is getting more competitive as companies trying to get a slice of that ad money. Meanwhile search bots have proven to be useful in many instances.
As many bear cases have been written all over the internet, I will focus on the bull cases. I will share my top ten with you, and I promise you, this is fully written by myself without the help of AI. You will believe me as my English grammar is bad AF.
Let me give you first an overview about Google revenue streams by percentage:
57% Google Search ads, 10.3% YouTube Ads, 10.2% Google network ads, 11.3% Subscriptions and devices, 10.8% Google Cloud, Rest Are other bets.
Of course Google search makes up a huge chunk of the revenue and even more of the profits. But I think what many people are missing in many of the discussions about Google is:

1. Google will not lose their 90% market share over night IF at all. It will be years until the majority of people will even notice that there are other options now. They know about ChatGPT and are still googling.
   
2. Regarding to Statcounter Google had 91.8% market share in January 2021. Now after ChatGPT and MS Copilot and whatever, Google stands at 90.9%. This is so little change, that we cannot even speak about a trend at the moment.
   
3. IF Google is going to lose substantial market share it won’t go to zero. People are often pretending like Google is going to be irrelevant and losing all business. Not going to happen, Bing and DuckDuckGo existing during Googles dominance proves this.
   
4. ⁠The minimum market share will always be the Android users. As Google will be defaulted with Android and Chrome devices. As long as the Apple Safari deal is legal and active the minimum base for Google is HUGE. I can’t see people changing the standard search engine pro actively, especially if it’s what they know - Google. That something like Bing even has market share at all, shows that people are likely to stay with the default. That is not an insult from my side this is an argument from Satya Nadella himself, made in court. At the moment, IF they change the default, they are more likely to switch from Bing to Google, than from Google to Bing. Additionally I think you can also add Google cloud business customer to this baseline.
   
5. That means advertiser will continue to pump money into Google search. Even if their market share goes down to 50-70%(very conservatively). They will very likely remain the number 1 search engine for a very long time. A few anecdotal tech bubble guys are not representative for changing the habits of billions of people. And with more people getting access to internet, the market as a whole will continue to grow.
   
6. ⁠Google does not only have the number 1 search engine, they also have number 2 with YouTube. YouTube is also getting a lot of advertising money and is still growing double digits.
   
7. Even if Google search money stops to grow or would decline, you have to look out for, if it would decline faster than the other segments will grow. If it’s flat or declining like 1-2% a year while Cloud and YouTube and Networks are growing double digits, Google will still generate Billions of cash flow a quarter. Similar to the current state of Apple with their IPhone sales.
   
8. Googles businesses are alle potential high margin businesses and are still growing double digits. Of course search is the number 1 but the other businesses would also be worth 100s of billions on their own.
   
9. I don’t see the threat of Google getting broken up by the authorities. You cannot made a bear case for both. Either they have monopoly that needs to be broken up, or they are threatened by AI companies. You cannot make a case for both at the same time imho. But even if they are getting punished or broken up, this will take YEARS in courts and after that they will be appeals by Google which will also take years. Until then there is a chance that Google businesses are more worth broken up in parts anyway. I see that very relaxed.
   
10. All of this doesn’t factor in any bets (like Waymo or their 8% SpaceX stake) that could take off or anything they are doing with Deepmind and AI which is a potential upside imho.
    

Google will be fine. Why I think YouTube, Networks, Cloud and other businesses are too businesses that will continue to grow would take another 100000 words and I think there are enough sources and analysis for that. So that’s it from my side, would love a positive vibes discussion.
Long story short: They could have some short term struggles due to sentiment and temporary revenue and profit lost. But they will be fine long term.

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• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not? I recently had a job as a math tutor which I enjoyed very much. Trying to become an engineer, not sure if I will like all of the hands-on stuff but I am a big fan of math and physics.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed? I wouldn't say I would feel refreshed but I would handle it very well and I can keep myself entertained on my own easily for long periods of time.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities? I don't play sports but I am pretty athletic and I enjoy a little competition. I spend a lot more time inside and I like to solve puzzles (jigsaw/word games), I enjoy reading and also researching random things.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be? I think I'd make a good leader but I don't like being the person that everyone looks at when something goes wrong. I'd be very open in hearing other people's ideas and I'd treat everyone as my equal.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer. I can't draw, paint, or anything like that to save my life. I do love music, however, if that counts as art, and I am quite proficient at the piano. I also like looking at art and I could spend a day at a museum. I also love listening to music and attending concerts- but who doesn't!
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them? I think about the past a lot, reminiscing on good times and bad ones, thinking about what I did well and what I could have handled differently. I think a lot about the near future but not so much the far future. I have an idealistic plan for my far future that I don't want to over-analyze. I enjoy living in the present as well. I have a love for new experiences and I try to live life to my fullest.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so? I feel so honored that they would want my help and I would do anything in my power to help even a little bit. I would want to do so because I like making people happy and I would want to be seen as reliable and helpful.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses? I learn by doing lots of practice and I dislike learning environments that try to get you to come up with your own conclusions and try to get you to find the answer on your own. I prefer memorization and logic.
• What are your fears? I fear that I will be forgotten or disliked or lonely.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like? Usually moments where I felt really connected with people or succeeding at something I love doing.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like? When I let my thoughts go too far and they distract me from the reality of a situation.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about? An interpersonal interaction I recently was a part of.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it? A long time, and I rarely change my mind.
• How important are emotions in your life? I use emotions as a stepping stone to reasoning myself through a situation. I like to think through all the possibilities that are causing a certain emotion and I rarely act off of emotions alone.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why? Yes, all the time, because I see where they are coming from so I don't see the point in disagreeing if I haven't fully considered their side of things.
Some other important things about me:
- I prefer listening over speaking. I like being the friend people can go to ab their problems although I wish I was better about making them feel better about them.
- I think part of the reason people trust me is because I am really open-minded, empathetic, and I never will disagree with someone if I see where they are coming from (which most of the time I do). I like to help people feel recognized and understood. And I guess part of that is because I want to be recognized and understood too.
I think I'm either an ENTP or an INFP.

So my cousin came to visit my family this past week. It was just her it’s her first time visiting. She’s staying with my parents and my sister that’s a sophomore in high school. I live in my own house like 25min away.
I haven’t been able to go to my parents house all week but I finally went yesterday for Mother’s Day.
Apparently she hasn’t really came out of her room. I think because she’s really not that used to my family. I have always been close to my cousins dad and I would go and visit them in Florida often. I mostly hung out with him and her brother. I was always really nice and cool with them.
So when I went over she started coming out of the room more just felt more comfortable. I suggested we all go out for ice cream for Mother’s Day. So my parents, her, and my sister went. They went in their car and I went in my own car. As we are sitting in the ice cream shop nobody is talking. My parents aren’t talking my sister isn’t even making conversation with her. So I started talking asking about how school is going, her sports etc… I think she liked that and started talking a lot.
Then as we are leaving my cousin asks me if I’m going back to my parents house. I tell her I am and she asks infront of them if she can ride back with me. I tell her sure I think my parents were surprised, they don’t really know how close of a relationship I have to her dad.
So we ride back and we’re just talking about when they were little growing up playing video games etc..
When we get home, my parents haven’t gotten home yet. So I tell her well let’s go wait for them. As I’m starting to open my car she immediately asks me do you talk to anyone in Florida?
So her asking if she could ride back to my parents house with me and her asking that right as I’m reaching for my door made me think maybe she wanted to talk about something. So I tell her no, then she kind of starts telling me about things she doesn’t like with some of our family members in Florida. At this point I do feel kinda weird. I’m having a conversation with an 8th grader in my car and then my parents get home. And when my mom sees me and her inside the car talking. As everybody goes inside my mom starts making a waving motion for us to come inside. She did it in way where I could tell she might have been thinking something was strange.
After that we got out and went inside.
Later on she started asking about things to do in our city. One thing people in my city do is walk around this really close lake at night. There’s a hill there and you can see a cool view of the city. I told her we should take her. So I tell my parents and my sister to take my cousin to the lake. They agree but once we get there my parents didn’t want to walk around it. They’re getting older and there’s some steep hills around so they said they would just wait by a bench. My sister didn’t want to walk either.
We brought my cousin all this way and they didn’t want to walk with us. So I take her up to the hill we talk about the family I try to give some advice etc..
The whole thing has left me uneasy. With the way my mom reacted when she saw us in the car. Them seeing me really sociable with her at the ice cream place. I’m not that sociable with my own family but I saw her and her brother grow up. Me a 31 year old spending time with an 8th grader.
How her mom or dad could interpret “yeah I hung out with my 31 year old cousin.”
I don’t know why I feel this way I never meant to cross a line. I was just trying to be nice but the way things are now a days. People’s minds might have their own perspective.
TLDR: cousin came to visit from Florida. She’s been staying at my parents. She’s hasn’t really been the sociable this weeks until I finally went over this weekend. She feels really comfortable with me and she wanted to spend alot of time with me but it’s left me feeling uneasy on how people might think about that

Now that the festival is over I just wanted to give a good rundown of what I saw throughout the weekend for anyone who was thinking about going this year or is considering going next year. I’ve gone to tons of festivals so I had a good idea of what to expect but there were numerous surprises.
Starting out with the positives, the lineup was incredible and there were some really fantastic performances to be seen. The food was very reasonably priced for the most part compared to most other festivals of this size and no one in my group had a bad meal. The city of salt lake is gorgeous and the mountain views are an incredible backdrop for the sets.
For the negatives, I’ll start out with the fest being significantly oversold. I believe this was the first year of the fest being a “national” fest instead of a “local” fest and I’m not sure they really planned for there to be that many people this year. There was only one tiny water station for the whole crowd to fill up at which lead to us having to buy tons of $4 waters if we weren’t close to the one station. With the fest being so overpacked, the massive VIP sections on Lake/Kilby stages really made seeing/hearing sets very difficult for almost every set. With the way the fest was laid out, you had to show up 30 mins early to most sets if you wanted to see or hear enough. The sound on the stages was rough for the most part all weekend aside from main stage being turned up halfway through the weekend. I heard a rumor that 4 different production companies did audio for the 4 stages so if that’s true it would make sense why the sound was so inconsistent and bad.
The crowd was probably the worst I’ve experienced at a festival before which is shocking to me because I didn’t think a crowd could talk through/ruin sets as much as this but it was unrelenting all weekend. With how full the crowd was, most of the weekend you had to show up 20-30 mins early to sets (which caused us to have to leave a lot of sets early) just to get a spot where your likelihood of having yappers talk through the whole set was lower and you could get a view that wasn’t completely ruined by a soundbooth/beer stand.
We had multiple pretty horrific experiences with numerous attendees at the fest but the one that stuck out the most was last night at LCD during Losing My Edge where my girlfriend waited from 11:30 all day for rail and right before the set, some kid kept pushing her and holding onto the rail behind her rubbing up against her aggressively. When the crowd started getting more intense he started to actively tried to hurt her so she’d move and he could get rail. She started crying and screaming “CAN YOU PLEASE STOP YOU’RE HURTING ME” and he told her “fuck you I’m not moving” and then kept doing it worse in spite. The rest of the set he and his other friends kept yapping about how my girlfriend is a “stupid crazy bitch” the whole rest of the show while not letting go of the barricade. I’ve been to over 650 concerts I’ve never experienced anything that horrible in a crowd, genuinely thought there was going to be a fight because of how shitty they were treating us. After a pretty rough weekend with the crowd, this incident really cemented our feelings about how the men in the area view women and how we felt about the fest in general.
I think it’s clear the fest is having growing pains as it continues to book more enticing lineups for a national audience, but it has a ton of work to do if they want to catch up to the other multigenres. The problems aren’t impossible to solve but the location is really not large enough for the fest, hopefully they can move it to a better location with all the money they made overselling the fest.

Hi fellow SLPs, I’m in a really tough place and wanted to seek advice. Pronouns have been changed to protect the privacy of the student. Sorry if this is long-winded, I have a lot to think about.
This is my first year working in public schools. I work with a population of students with complex, high support needs. Mostly AAC, ID, autism, ASL. So far, I’ve had really collaborative parents. They’ve been so open to round table discussion. Lately, I’ve been butting heads against parents who still want to keep their kids in the sub-separate classroom or in therapy services when it is not indicated anymore. I feel this is a denial of FAPE and LRE.
One particular student (ASL is their first language, Deaf+) I’ve had this year has met all their goals (they only had one). The story I got from their staff was that the parent wanted to keep them in speech so they can learn to “speak.” My student has expressed within my speech sessions early on in the year that they do not want to speak. Their language is ASL and they are part of Deaf culture. Their ASL interpreters have affirmed my confusion about why we were working on an “maintaining pragmatic skills via interpreting figurative language” goal when that type of language gets lost in translation. However, they have done spectacular carrying over skills given exposure to figurative language and background knowledge (e.g., Translation of English idioms to ASL, teaching of figures of speech via video examples in ASL) and teaching it back in their own words in ASL. Staff have mentioned their previous SLP expressed frustration about how S/L services have not been appropriate for a while. Previous triennial testing indicated that they could not finish certain tests (e.g. GFTA-3) because they expressed they had a hard time producing sounds.
In a recent meeting for this student’s new IEP, the parent rejected the IEP because I proposed moving to a consult model. Student has met all goals, there are no language or pragmatic concerns, but the parent said they need to stay in speech because “(student) expressed they love speech” and the parent has concerns about communication outside of school in the community. These communication breakdowns occur in unfamiliar places (e.g., not paying attention to surroundings, eloping, not using the restroom or eating in unfamiliar places)…but would this not be a behavioral/psych target if their increased anxiety results in these concerns?
I do not want to give up on this student and want to support them the best I can. I do not think they will continue to benefit from direct therapy (plus having a TOD/ABA on top of speech in the mainstream classroom would be A LOT for this kid who already has anxiety and is a budding teenager who is intelligent and aware of their differences). I have loved and thoroughly enjoyed working with them. Of course I don’t want to let them go - I would work with them forever if I could. I just do not want to overstep my expertise. The student has expressed that they enjoy speech a lot, but this is not a reason to keep them in speech and I feel it is unethical (violation of LRE). Yes, I can target utilization of alternative means to communicate with hearing peers and adults in the community (I already baselined some data and student has fantastic communication repair skills, communicated beautifully via writing and typing). Student already uses the phone to communicate via text with adults and friends.
My ultimate concern is why the team is stepping around this issue to appease the parent when this is no longer in my domain of expertise? Yes, I can work on this skill via a push-in model, but to stretch it a whole year (like the current goal) when they already demonstrate the foundational communication skills at baseline? In addition, student expressed that communication needs in the community setting (e.g., ordering at a restaurant) are done by their family (hearing individuals). In order for this goal to have any impact (again, I am only a school SLP) the student needs the room and opportunity to be independent communicating with hearing individuals outside of the school in order to carryover this skill…
Honestly, I feel like I would be wasting their Medicaid, keeping the student in a more restrictive environment, and we are stuck in the same cycle again.
I appreciate whatever input I get deeply. Thank you for reading.
Note: Using my non-personal account for privacy reasons.

Pretty much what the title says. I’m not close with my mother and she has no idea that I’m going through IVF. She’s a religious fanatic and I don’t want all the hard work that my fertility doctors are doing to be reduced to “well you only got pregnant because I prayed for it to happen”. She’s done this to me my whole life about any accomplishments that I’ve made, belittling my hard work and making it seem that everything good in my life only happened because she willed for it to happen….like she is God. She’s often refused to help me with anything in my life as a child because she can simply just pray for it to happen. This upsets me because she was a very lazy SAHM and I ended up being the parent by cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, helping my sibling with their homework while she was high on Xanax all day long.
I called her anyway on Mother’s Day. She mentioned that I’m a mother too because I have a child in heaven. I had a miscarriage 3 years ago at 12 weeks and it was so emotionally and physically painful. I’ve asked her not to say this every year and it’s like she just wants to rub salt in the wound. And she knows that I believe that anybody can just get pregnant, but a mother is someone who is actually there for her child. She had four children and ignored all of them and completely took us for granted.
I’m just sad and I can’t stop thinking about it. You all are so strong for all of the extra things you have to deal with on top of infertility. I’m glad there is a place that I can at least find the people who understand how cruel other people can be.
Lots of hugs to all of you.

Hello! So I have a few offers, and I’m not sure the right direction to go… For reference, 21M, married, LCOL area, MBA, recently laid off…
Offer 1: Large telecommunications company in Business Sales. I previously worked for this company, before going to another one and getting laid off. They offered to interview me for a position for the business department - even though I was retail prior. It’s remote with 25-50% travel, and the travel locations are roughly 1.5-2 hours away. The pay is $55k base + a target commission of $40k, and bonus potential up to $15k. Amazing benefits including helping repay student loans. Great company. Interview was FANTASTIC! Super respectful and fun.
Offer 2: Federal government position, in an examination capacity role. It’s 100% onsite, and making around $49k-$52k. Have had a lot of family work for this branch, and some family friends in management and a couple of personal friends working there, in different departments. It’s about a 7-10 minute drive, and obviously federal benefits. Promotion potential up to $130k. Interview was scary as hell, long, and did I say scary?
Offer 3: Large telecom/tv/internet company. Senior level manager in sales. It’s also 100% onsite, however this one is an entire state away, or rather a 2.5 hour drive. The salary is $100k + commission (with a target commission being $40k) + bonus potential up to $25k, and stock options up to $5k. Benefits are good, but not spectacular. I like the company, and like the idea of being at a senior manager making that money early in my careelife especially for my wife and I but worried if I even deserve it? Interview was relaxed, we got along really well, and didn’t take long for the offer.
Offer 4: One of if not the largest Oil & Gas company in the US. In Water Logistics. I would be planning routes, and assisting haulers with emergency dispatching calls - in offer person, so I wouldn’t be the one doing the trucking. It’s 100% onsite and about a 10 minute drive. It’s a 12-hour shift position, 7-days on, 7-days off. Each month the shift rotates, so Day Shift 1 month, Night Shift the next. Pay is $60k, but with overtime can be around $85k - as mentioned by the Hiring Manager, and stated “overtime is built in, so it’s closer to the higher”. Benefits are meh, but they offer $5k in student loan repayment per year (my MBA is only $17k). Company I have always wanted to work for, but at a different capacity, however, they’re typically not hiring because their retention is so high. Their turnover is about 3%. Family member works in there as a HR Director also. Interview was okay, mentioned multiple times that I didn’t have the experience - and the offer was the very lowest they had posted.
Offer 5: Large insurance company. Doing adjustments for large weather events. Pay is $60k and can come with bonuses up to $5k. It’s between 220-240 days of work per year, and benefits are meh. It’s remote, but with travel across my state and some surrounding ones, as needed. Good company and opportunities for advancement, and seems like a good work life balance. Interview was one of those recordings… Only spoke to a recruiter for the screening, and received an interview from the recording and personality exam.
What do you all think? I feel like I want the senior level one, but I don’t really want to move to a HCOL environment, or have to travel that much daily. I feel like I’m blessed to have so many opportunities but don’t want to make the wrong choice.

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Just curious. For me, I wish you could chain and stagger Shouts. Cooldown exists so you don’t become an OP god, but I think it would be fair to allow you to chain lower level Shouts. For example, you could do one base Elemental Fury and then use Slow Time to basically become a speedster, or you could use something like Cyclone, Fire Breath and Frost Breath to make a small maelstrom.
The cooldown would be determined by tallying the cooldown of the words you use, and there would be a brief period of time (three seconds?) after each Shout before it goes on Cooldown for a max of three shouts per chain. As for how you would switch between shouts, you can either go through menu hell like you do with basic casting, or you can just make it so that you can equip shouts to your left and right hands as you would with normal magic. I dunno, maybe you can involve the D-Pad or arrow keys too.
As for staggering Shouts, I just feel like it would make certain ones more fun to use. Using Whirlwind Sprint for example, you could a stagger three different sprints to change direction and zip around the battlefield. Other Shouts this could work with would maybe be stuff like Become Ethereal, allowing for actual evasion that basic strafing doesn’t allow for (maybe acting like the parry from Smash?)… it would work for good ole Unrelenting Force too, I think. Maybe Ice Form? Though that one could get broken.
You could also go into a specific shout. Again with Whirlwind Sprint, assuming I’m able to keep the other changes I mentioned, I would make it able to move vertically as well (and give you a brief period of fall damage immunity). Basically, you would be able to briefly fly, though this would break a few puzzles and dungeons.

So I am not sure if I have abilities others don't or if I am more sensitive than the average person,
Background, I grew up in a haunted house but never experienced anything really outside of feeling like someone may be watching me, I had heard from other family what they had experienced when I was too young to remember.
As I got older I have always been different from most, however I have some mental issues, bipolar,ptsd,anxiety,addiction
I've always had vary vivid dreams from a young age, as I've gotten older I was very depressed and stuck to myself being homeschooled after the fith grade, I got into drugs at 17 and became addicted to various substances plus my mental illness went wild, however I no longer take substances outside of cannabis and mushrooms. I'm also as stable as I can been on medications.
As I moved out of the house at 13 to another I would get nightmares being in the old house and I would be getting tormented by spirits, It started as just a haunted house trying to scare me, then I got mad because of the occurrence and would be in a vivid dream taunting it, never really winning it would laugh or only show itself when it wanted to not me.
In my dreams I will see my loved ones like normal but be able to tell that isn't them and will notice and then my dreams get weird and I either wake up or try to get away, I'm aware now and don't get them as often but it was terrifying at a point.
I got into reading the satanic bible, lucifieran bible and necronomicon, at one point, during this I had a vivid dream I wasn't on this planet and went to a place that was dark with odd terain and glowing green water, however I had a dream I was going into a church and instead of a normal pastor it was a demonic one and had a cloak over his face , I had a rosary with a bone and gave it to him, accepting that I don't have power in my dreams and am sorry for taunting the spirits in my reoccurring nightmares, it went down to know I only have them rarely and know what's going on everytime it happens again.
During my addictions I have experienced sleep paralysis and it was terrifying, like a demonic smoke figure in a cloak looking at me feeding of the fear,
I have had my aunt pass and visit me in my dreams, I have had my grandpa pass and visit me in my dreams, I didn't get to say goodbye, and got closure in my dream, I woke up feeling like the hug was real.
I knew the night before my grandpa passed he was going to had a gut feeling but I decided not to follow that instinct, next morning I woke up to uncle banging the door however my dream was a old guy in a room that didn't have anything, just sitting infront of me no conversation, woke up and my grandpa was gone, feel it was him but didn't wanna show me it was him yet.
Anymore my nightmares if I have them are usually still in the old house and has to do with a spirit trying to take the shape of my loved ones, I have never seen the spirit responsible, only felt it in my dreams and heard laughs when I try to be more powerful than it.
Not super long ago I had a dream a tornado was coming for me at my current house, we had stroms not super long after and while it wasn't my house it hit 30 minutes away from me and my girlfriends step dads house got hit.
I feel like I am sensitive to energy, I can sense the feelings of being watched at times, getting goosebumps and hair standing up not due to the cold but somthing around, especially when I talk to people or give them tarot card readings, I can end up with my hairs standing or goosebumps if the conversation felt like it resonates with me.
I have an amazing relationship with my girlfriend, we I belive are twin flames, so similar, almost like we can read eachothers minds at times and say the same things at the same time often or can guess what she's about to say at times, but I also feel whenever her energy shifts and so does she if mine shifts.
I can sense if a person is good or bad, I can also at times sense somthing bad a long time in advance before it actually happens. Unfortunately.
One of the best new experiences I have had was taking mushrooms with my girlfriend for healing, I do it somewhat often, helped with grief , addictions, mental health, spirituality,
It brings us closer together and helps us both to heal, I didn't know it was possible but we managed to be able to use our energy on eachother while tripping and have what feels like full on sex without any touching involved, it can last for a long time too, this has happened the last 3-4 times we have tripped once we discovered how to tap into each other's minds. It's almost better than having actual sex, I feel like we leave our bodies and full on merge together as one during this time.
Now this is were it gets weird , a few days back we went to a place in amish country and once inside I noticed it felt off, however to not waste money and with everyone posting such good reviews figured we would stay and take mushrooms for healing as we do about once every month - 2 months,
I had the feeling in this house that the loft and basement were bad places to be, like being watched and feeling like there was somthing in this house, not sure what but something the first floor felt the best but still uneasy,
We had grabbed a clock from downstairs, plugged things into this one outlet next to the stairs and clock prior to taking mushrooms, they were charging, clock worked. Outlet worked, downstairs had a weird sad vibe to it ,weird musty smell also Sulphur smells randomly and even the water smelled like Sulphur there was a hornet in the toilet when we got there and had to flush it, also was 2 stains on the cieling in basement, not sure if it was water leak or if someone may have passed in the house and it soaked thru the ceiling of basement.
We wanted to paint eachother as we took the mushrooms, we did this until they started to kick in and once they kicked in we went and started fear and loathing in lost vegas, once I started getting closed eye visuals and working on my innerwork, my girlfriend felt like she wanted to go downstairs to lay in bed,
We stayed in bed holding eachother , bonding, eventually tuning into eachothers energy having sex without actually having it, then we couldn't hold back anymore and actually had sex, however we stayed down there until the trip wore off, it was about 3 am and everything switched on us.
She was feeling really sad and like she wanted to leave this place, I felt like I was being watched down there and somthing bad had happened in the past, I went to go upstairs was kinda afraid to alone but eventually went upstairs because she wouldn't at the time, tried to charge my phone and the outlet and clock didn't work anymore, I had been talking about leaving the house because she was feeling targeted and I felt like it didn't like either of us but like it wanted to feed off her if she went to sleep.
We went upstairs at a point and when I was asking if there were spirit's in the house and that if so I meant no disrespect and will only be staying until we could leave in the morning safely, as I would talk about the spirits seemed like my girlfriend would feel sick, same as being in the bed, very sad while downstairs.
I opened a bible and it was weird it didn't even feel like real paper , it also was moving by itself somewhat like working against me or moving for me to point out things, the clock on the wall was moving way faster than normal after this,
I tried getting her to leave , I didn't want to stay anylonger but knew we had to wait until sunlight atleast, she fell asleep and I was sitting next to her in this erie basement, had to turn the fan on because felt like if it was quiet I would loose it, what's not normal is the fact that she went to sleep and didn't really move, make sounds or anything like usual. I felt like I could hear people upstairs as she was asleep, almost like music was playing or a man signing and it was on repeat it would come and go, such low volume but also loud , the fan in the mix didn't help but I didn't wanna hear it anylouder.
I ended up trying to sleep and kinda did for a few hours but no dream I was hoping I would have a vivid dream of what happened in this house.
In the morning got our stuff packed up and left, before leaving I had used a ghost box. Told the spirit we were about to leave and as my girlfriend was going to the car it talked, then when she came back inside I left the ghostbox going and it talked while we were both there. I told it that we are leaving and this is your house but you are not welcome to come with us. Right as I opened the door I got a whiff of sulphur and as we left the house sulphur smell followed for a while.
Went to a shop got sage, used it before we got home, then yesterday unpacked from our trip and I made the joke about hopefully nothing came back with us from there. I went fishing and used the scissors from the house, i forgot to put them back so I have them. I saged our room, bags, clothes and once I found it left it outside in our burn barrel, didn't wanna risk it being in the house.
Last night we should have gotten good rest tho and we did not so I wonder if it had to do with those scissors coming from that house. 🤔
Anyways, long story but honest opinion would be helpful and on top of that if theres a way to strengthen my senses and all that would love to know!

Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.

THE CONNERS: "Famine and Floods"
Scene 1: Conner Kitchen
Dan is sitting at the kitchen table.
Louise walks in.
Dan: Louise, me and the kids are hungry on account of there ain’t no food.
Louise: Look Dan, there’s a can of beans right here in the pantry.
Dan: Me and the kids don’t want beans on account of we had beans last night.
Louise: Well, why don’t you send one of your kids down to the grocery store to pick something up.
Mark walks in.
Mark: Didn’t you hear? The grocery store shut down because of poverty.
Dan slams his fist on the table.
Dan: Damn’t! Lanford needed that grocery store! It’s where we common folk got our food!
Darlene enters.
Darlene: This is the problem with corporate America. They come in and shut down all the local mom and pop stores and then run out of town at the first sign of trouble.
Jackie enters, Mark exits (not seen again the entire episode).
Jackie: She’s right. They call it FOOD DESERTS (said in a very long exaggerated voice). Yeah, pretty soon we’re gonna be slithering around like snakes trying to get water from a cactus.
Dan: This just ain’t right.
Louise: Well, rather than complaining, maybe we can do something. What if we all pitched in and started selling groceries at the hardware store?
Darlene: That’s a great idea. It’ll be like the old days when people bought their groceries at the hardware store.
Ben: And I know a guy with a grocery warehouse who’ll probably sell me groceries at half off.
Dan: That’s it! The Conners are in the grocery business and saving Lanford from starving.
Jackie: Well, some of us would probably starve a little sooner than others. I’m just saying. And we could always eat MOM if we had to!
(Theme song.)
Scene 2: Olinsky's Hardware Store
Ben is standing at the hardware store counter.
Darlene enters.
Darlene: I just got a call from the villainous county grocery commissioner. He says we can’t sell groceries because we don’t have a permit. If we try to sell them anyway, he’ll shut down the entire hardware store and then you won’t be able to support us on my lunch lady salary, I’ll have to quit for another job, and Mark won’t be able to go to college!
Ben: That totally blows.
Dan walks in from the back room.
Dan: Well, how much is this grocery permit?
Darlene: It’s $500!
Dan: $500! Oh geez, that’s the amount of money I've saved up to pay off the mortgage. But Lanford needs groceries, so...
Darlene: Dad, we can’t ask you to give up your dream of paying off the mortgage.
Harris enters.
Harris: I’ll do it. I’ll go to Chicago to turn tricks to earn the $500 so you all can sell groceries and Lanford doesn’t starve and Mom doesn’t have to quit her job and Mark can keep going to college.
Darlene: Harris, you don’t have to do this. But you’re sure you want to?
Harris: I mean, yeah, I guess so. I’m not worth anything to the family anyway. I guess this is the only thing I can do to be any value in the world.
Darlene: You are such a good daughter.
Scene 3: Conner Family Room
Jackie: Has anyone noticed Harris acting a little differently lately?
Darlene: No, what do you mean?
Jackie: I don’t know. She seems just kind of down, you know. Not like her normal self.
Darlene: We’re Conners. Something would be wrong if we weren’t a little down.
Jackie: No, I’m serious this is different. Watch.
Jackie hits a catatonic Harris over the head with a football and she doesn’t move.
Darlene: Maybe you’re right. I’ll take her down to the Urgent Care just to be safe.
Scene 4: Conner Family Room
Dan is on the edge of his seat as Darlene and Harris walk back in the house.
Dan: Well what did they say?
Darlene: Apparently the doctor says Harris is suffering post-traumatic stress disorder from her sex work in Chicago.
Dan: Is it serious?
Harris (with flat, matter of fact affect): The doctor says I’ll be OK. He gave me a referral to a person who will help me with coping strategies for the irrational thoughts I have while I’m selling my body.
Dan: Oh, thank God.
Scene 5: Conner Family Room
Ben enters.
Ben: Guys, I just heard on the radio. The first ever hurricane to hit Illinois is here NOW and it’s headed straight for Lanford.
Darlene: What are we going to do?
Louise: Dan, your kids need to grow up and learn how to face this hurricane on their own. I’m going to be on the road for the next three weeks, and I wanted to watch Yellowstone with you tonight.
Dan: Kids, Louise is right. It’s time you all faced this hurricane by yourselves.
Darlene: But that’s not fair! We’ve always faced things as a family.
Dan (winking): Well, I’m putting my foot down. You all have to weather the storm by yourselves.
Louise: Oh, alright Dan. They can weather the hurricane with us.
Becky enters.
Becky: Sober life is so amazing. Colors are vibrant, I hear birds chirping in the morning, and I’m present for Beverly Rose!
Darlene: That’s great. Did you hear, a hurricane’s about to hit Lanford? Also I accidentally threw out that notebook you keep with your list of coping mechanisms for being an alcoholic. You didn’t need it right?
Beck: Umm, no, everything is OK. I’ll be fine. I’m just going to head to the basement.
Scene 6: Conner Basement
The Conners all walk down to the basement.
Dan: Becky, where are you? The hurricane’s passed. It’s all OK.
They find Becky lying face down next to a bottle of Vodka. Beverly Rose is teetering on the edge of a bookshelf.
Jackie: Oh, my god, this is bad.
Darlene: Becky, Becky, wake up. What are you doing?
Becky: It was just all too much. The hurricane and then I didn’t have my notebook of coping mechanisms.
Dan huffs in anger.
Dan: Don’t you get it Becky! It was never about that book of coping mechanisms! Can’t you see what Mark has done to you! Can’t you see he’s sending us these hurricanes and shutting down the grocery store from the beyond? Whenever there’s a problem, can’t you see it’s Mark? What do I have to do to get through to you that Mark was Satan’s spawn and is cursing the town of Lanford from the pits of Hell?
Becky breaks down crying.
Jackie: She’s having a breakthrough. Her alcoholism is going into remission again.
Becky: I’m cured everybody.
Everyone hugs Becky.
Dan: To celebrate, let’s go down to the Hardware Store to pick up some groceries for dinner! Brewskis are on me; I can punt on paying off the mortgage until next month.
Jackie: I don’t know, I was thinking about eating MOM!
END CREDITS

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all your feedback on the last version. I haven’t changed too much except for the last blurb paragraph which I think is hookier now and I hope solves the problem of not explaining how the story could have sexual prose. I also removed a paragraph from my first three hundred. I hope this version works better now, but please let me know if not.
Dear [AGENT],
Because you like [personalization], I hope you’ll be interested in PHOEBE, my 85,000 word upmarket women’s novel that explores cultural identity and a complicated friendship between two Vietnamese-Americans as they navigate their first years of womanhood.
When twenty-eight year old Phoebe drops out of grad school and gets arrested for assaulting a police officer, the only person she has left to call is her adoptive sister, Gigi.
Phoebe doesn’t have any other family left. After her father killed himself the morning of her high school graduation, her mother drove her across the country to stay with a family friend in Southern California and disappeared. For years, Phoebe was content following Gigi around, even attending college just to stay near her. But when Gigi decided to move away for dental school in San Francisco, Phoebe’s life began its downward spiral.
The day Gigi comes to pick her up, Phoebe is shocked to discover that Gigi is hiding a pregnancy and eloping with a man Phoebe has never met. Without other options, Phoebe soon finds herself moving in with Gigi, Gigi's rich new husband, and their infant son in the moneyed suburb of Arcadia. But Gigi and her husband are always passive-aggressively arguing, and Gigi’s dissatisfaction with motherhood is clear.
In the court mandated therapy sessions following her arrest, Phoebe is forced to recall the trauma she experienced growing up as an immigrant’s child in the Midwest and confront how her loneliness and need for love wrecked the decisions she’s made. Meanwhile, Gigi uncovers a secret about Phoebe’s mother that could change both of their lives.
With flashback cuts similar to the film Challengers (2024), PHOEBE combines the sexual prose and psychological musings of MILK FED by Melissa Broder with the exploration of generational trauma in BANYAN MOON by Thao Thai.
First 300 (again for context, Phoebe refers to Gigi by her full name, Regina)
Regina says my worst trait is how paranoid and judgemental I am. She thinks that I’m always looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next terrible thing to happen, and that I only see the worst in people. She’s not wrong. But unlike her, I haven’t had the sort of life that begets beauty and easy fortune. Every good thing that has ever happened to me was just another suffering in disguise.
My phone buzzes in my hand, and I don’t have to look down at the screen to know it’s Ishaan. It’s been nearly a year since I last saw him, and the same amount of time since I last responded to him. In some messages, he’s worried about me. In others, he’s saying he wants to clear the air, apologize for what happened between us. We need to talk is the most common sequence of words I get. I know he’ll tell me it was all a misunderstanding, but I’m tired of not knowing who to believe, him or my own eyes.
I don’t have his number saved anymore, but I know all the digits that make it up. If you scrambled up all the numbers in a big bag, I could dig them out and place them in back order. Regina says I should just block him and move on, but how can I? He is the monster that I wrought with my own hands. A meat-eating, prospect destroying, body snatching narcissist who was once a sweet twelve-year old boy I could’ve loved but ruined instead.

Sorry in advance for how long this is. I (19 F) am now in college but this story happened my senior year of high school when I was 18. My two closest friends at my school were twin sisters. Let’s call them Katherine and Olivia (both fake names). I had met Olivia at the beginning of my freshman year of high school when her sister Katherine introduced us. Olivia and I were inseparable and we did everything together. I was friends with Katherine too but not as close as I was with Olivia until our junior year of high school. There were some red flags in my friendship with these two that I see now looking back but was too naive to realize beforehand. For example, I went all out with gifts for them during holidays while they never got me anything in return. I would always show up for Katherine’s swim meets that she and Olivia invited me to come watch so that I could cheer on and support her. They never showed up for any of my horse shows that I would invite them to watch and always claimed to be busy (which I understand life can be busy). I know that may sound petty, but what I’m trying to say is that the effort I put into our friendship was never reciprocated. They would never show up for me or support me the way I did for them. They would also emotionally manipulate me but I won’t get into it because we’d be here all day. Anyway, at the end of spring break our senior year I get a long text message from Olivia who said she was ending her friendship with me. I won’t get into what the message contained but she essentially blamed me for a lot of issues she was having, was gaslighting me, and also lied to me by saying I was never there for her (which is crazy because that’s all I tried to do but she would always push me away). I get it, sharing emotions and being vulnerable can be scary but I always tried my best to support her and lift her up through difficult times. Katherine didn’t send a message but she followed her sister and stopped talking to me. I was absolutely heartbroken because I thought these girls were two of my best friends but then they throw me under the bus and treat me like I’m less than nothing. What hurt even worse is that I had previously opened up to them about some emotional trauma from being betrayed and abandoned by one of my closest friends in elementary school, and they told me that they would always be there for me no matter what. This caused me to fall into a deep hole of depression and I suffered from a lot of emotional trauma that I’m still learning to heal from today. I won’t get into it but I reached a point where I didn’t even want to be alive anymore (but don’t worry I got help and I’m happy to say I’m doing so much better today :) Eventually my sadness turned to anger for what they did to me and I had all of this rage that I had bottled up inside. However, these two didn’t know that I am EXTREMELY PETTY. I decided to get revenge for what they did to me by unleashing the ultimate petty lol. I thought through ideas until I eventually decided on the perfect plan. So I know where they live and I also know they keep their car outside of their garage. I snuck out of my house at 2:00 in the morning and put a crap ton of corn syrup and glitter as well as chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles all over their car (I hope they had fun getting that off lmaooo). That stuff went absolutely everywhere too. I had previously done research to not damage their car as my goal was not to hurt anyone or damage any property but only be really annoying. I then snuck back home and went to bed. Later that morning my mom received a text message from their mom asking to meet up and talk. Now their parents are actually really nice people though. My mom agreed and met up with them at a coffee shop. My mom later told me about it. Her parents deadass asked my mom if I was the one who Willy Wonka’d their car lmao since they weren’t sure who else from our school knew their address besides me. Now my mom already knows how much those twins hurt and was my rock after they betrayed me. She denied that it was me and told their parents that I have grown stronger from their daughters’ kindness and also cruelty (which she said which they cringed at hahahahaha). I felt such a petty sense of satisfaction after this and I was then able to focus on my mental health after getting revenge. TLDR: Betray and hurt me after years of friendship? I will unleash a CandyLand STORM onto your vehicle. Also, if you twins are reading this (and you know who you are); yes it was me lmaooo I hope you had fun washing all of that off your car after. Fuck you both😂😂

Let me explain what I mean.
Take, for example, Demoknight. Suppose we take all of Demo's unlockable weapons for a given slot and combine the bonuses from each of them into a single item, while removing all the penalties. In cases where more than one weapon gives you the same bonus, only the strongest instance applies.
So a Composite Demo Sword would give you the Skullcutter's damage, the Claideamh Mor's longer charge and refill on kill, the Half-Zatoichi's health on kill, and the Eyelander's heads mechanic. It would NOT give you give you the Skullcutter's speed nerf, the Eyelander's health penalty, the Claidheamh Mor's damage vulnerability, the Half-Zatoichi's honourbound, etc. And of course it could random crit as normal.
A Composite Shield would give you the Targe's resistances, the Screen's damage and the Turner's full charge control and refill on kill. Etc, etc for every slot/weapon type.
I'll make the caveat that we don't combine the stats of items that conflict with each other. So Soldier can have both the boots' stats tacked onto a shotgun or a banner, because the boots effects are passive, and if he picks a banner he gets all three banner effects at once, but he can't both a banner and a shotgun because those still conflict. Demo still has to choose between Shield and Stickies because detonating and charging still compete for the Right Click action, etc.
A scenario like this will always have weird edge cases, and there's probably a bunch of interactions I haven't thought of yet, but I hope that's laid down some ground rules and guidelines. I've tried to phrase this in such a way that it could theoretically be playtested with a Sourcemod or VScript to add these composite items without needing to fundamentally change the rules of the game.
Under those conditions, who stands to gain the most and who would suddenly stand on top?

I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.