Dr naram weight loss

i dont know whether to tag this side effects, experience, or rant, but...
SORRY THIS IS SO LONG !!!
i (19f) have the kyleena iud, which is the lowest dosage of progesterone hormones on the market. i have been on it since i was 16, so 3 years now.
i was told it was the best choice for me, because i forget to take pills, its the smallest choice for iud, and iuds are localized so "there shouldn't be any side effects shown in the whole body" i feel like ive been lied to, i was told "there are no side effects, youll be okay, atleast you wont have a baby!"
which is why i got on in the first place (besides my parents pretty much telling me i have to after meeting my boyfriend), is i am absolutely terrified of pregnancy. not just the normal amount, but the tokophobia amount.
i feel like im trapped. i want to be safe and have an extra layer of protection so i wont fear intercourse every time it happens like i did before i got on. i would always be too focused and anxious if the condom was on to enjoy it. thats why i choose to still be on it.
but since getting on birth control- i hate myself. so much. i dont know what i look like or who i am anymore
there are so many side effects...

 1. SO. much. weight. gain. i hate my body. 

i was only 135 lbs before i started BC. within the first year i gained 60lbs- now im steadily still climbing, and im 205lbs after being on it for 3 years. i dont recognize myself, i cant dress how i like to anymore, im so ashamed of my body... now before you say anything like "just lose it", i've tried, asshole.

 2. i can not lose all the weight i gained no matter how hard i try. 

ive eaten in a calorie deficit of 2,000, 1,500 cals, 900 cals, 500 cals, then even i tried not eating anything at all for a month. i tracked it all on myfitnesspal and you could see the graph of my weight going up up up and my calories going down lower and lower.
during these time periods i would do consistent cardio, exercise, lifting, pilates. i tried so many things yet i kept on getting weaker and weaker at the gym and gaining more and more weight.
food isn't food to me anymore. i regret eating. i feel sick when i think about eating. its all just numbers reminding me about how fat and hideous i am.
135 to 205 is 70lbs in just 1 year. it stretched my skin so bad i have deep purple stretch marks all over me that haven't faded even after 2 years.
when i wanted to get a bellybutton piercing the piercer told me my stomach was too fat to get one. at my doctor's appointment i had when i was 17 a year after i got on it, she told me "wow youre gaining a lot of weight! let's discuss eating fruits and vegetables." as if its that simple. my boyfriend is a bodybuilder and tells me im not trying hard enough to lose weight. how hard do i have to try? i stopped eating but i still gain...
i hate the way i look. no one tells me im pretty anymore.

 3. i was supposed to stop my period, but now i bleed for 10-17 days straight 

it never stopped. it comes every month right on time, i actually have a pretty normal schedule. but GOD the fucking bleeding. i have to wear a pad so long that it gives me diaper rash in-between my thighs like im a fucking baby. and its not just the bleeding for 15 days that pisses me off, its the cramps and the bloating.

 4. horrible cramps and bleeding, that akin to actual contractions 

when i cramp it makes me lay on the floor and shake and cry. i told my gyno ive cramped so hard it makes me vomit and my head spin and i sweat. they told me the birth control should fix it in time, and made sure my iud wasn't stabbing my uterus and sent me on my way.

 5. im so tired all the time. 

physically and mentally. i cant lift anything at the gym and i cant run like i used to.
i have constant brain fog, my entire last year of highschool i couldn't even tell you what happened because i was constantly tired and could barely pay attention or retain any information.
im the age where im supposed to be choosing what college i want to go to, but i feel so mentally burnt out all the fucking time the thought of trying to go to back to school seems impossible.

 6. PMDD, i go hysterical every month 

(PMDD means pre menstrual dysphoric disorder.)
i worry all the time, i cry all the time, im always overthinking. but the week before my period. thats different. i literally feel like i want to k! myself. im inconsolable, the hysteria or mania or whatever doesn't stop until i stop bleeding, and then i go right into it again within a week. it feels like BPD. its not mood swings, im in a constant low.

 7. ovulation cramps and fever 

i only have maybe 4 good days out of the month. i cramp and bleed and get a fever when i ovulate.

 9. weak/numb when i try to "finish" & pain during sex 

my "O"s are way less intense, sometimes it feels like it doesn't even happen. its weird ? and it feels like i cant really even feel stuff down there anymore. its like it went numb and its a lot more effort that it ever has been to finish. it makes me feel guilty sometimes. my boyfriend is 6'4 and i am 5'5, even tho hes large compared to me, its always painful during intercourse, and it wasn't before i got on it.

 EDIT- 10. i also think i have miscarried a few times. i brought this up to my gyno and they said "sometimes that happens, thats what birth control does. makes sure youre not pregnant" 11. i hate myself 

i dont know who i am anymore. not physically, not mentally, not anything. i am so terrified of being pregnant, thats the only reason i stay on birth control.
i dont know what to do or who i am anymore. i dont want to feel or look this way anymore.
my boyfriend wants me to get off of it, he says he doesn't like that i have artificial hormones messing with my brain... but sometimes i wonder if im not physically attractive to him anymore. i am almost 100lbs heavier than what he fell in love with.
i dont know where to go from here...
should i try the copper coil with no hormones? i heard it constantly makes you bloated and crampy... i honestly dont know what my other choices are.
i just wanna be and look myself again.

 TL;DR- im fat and ugly and hypomanic and bleed so much and am in lots of pain and hate myself lol. 🎀 im just a girl 

Did one week at 0.25 and switched to 0.5 at week two. Started losing as soon as I switched to 0.5 and am now down 10 pounds after two weeks at that dose. I just took my third dose of 0.5 this morning.
I’m encouraged. Has anyone just been able to stay at 0.5? Is it common for the weight loss to slow down after the initial period at a certain dose? Results typical? Interested to hear your experiences.

Long time lurker! Like many of you, I’ve been dreaming of a breast reduction since they first came in! My chest has always been a source of insecurity and unwanted attention since I was in middle school. I’m now 31 and sick of having the extra weight on my chest. I’m tired of the neck pain, spending $$$ on bras and swimwear, searching high and low for dresses/clothing to fit my bust…I think im measuring at a 36I but I truly don’t know, I probably haven’t worn a real bra in two years.
I’m at a good place in life where opting for a reduction is tangible. I don’t want kids. I have a decent job with health insurance —Kaiser SoCal . I finally decided to discuss surgery with my PCP and she referred me to plastic surgery. I attended the seminar, and a week later the scheduling office called to schedule a phone consultation. Had the consult today and the surgeon is pushing for weight loss first. I’m 5’4 and weigh 193lbs. I’m technically just under the 34 bmi requirement. But dr said it would be ideal to lose 20lbs.
My weight has gone up in the last 5 years due to a thyroid issue that is now under control. But damn!! I feel like I got my hopes up and now a reduction could be a while away. I still requested to have an in person consultation with the surgeon and will attempt to state my case. Even when I did weigh 170lbs I was still a 34j. I feel so desperate to have these things sized down and it’s a bummer to hear I might have to wait even longer.
Also thinking I will schedule another consultation with a different surgeon for a second opinion.
If anyone has any advice or is feeling just as disillusioned as myself and wants to commiserate 😭

I have asthma that for decades was only an issue if I'm somewhere very dusty or with dogs. Lately though my face is terrible and then the last 2 days I've been really chesty and now my face is worse.
I'm sure there's probably some kind of anxiety thing pushing both of them but is this a common thing? Ie is one the cause of the other or are they both symptoms of something else? I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow but would like an idea before I go in.
It's likely related but I've been on a carb-free weight loss died the last few weeks. I was ok when I was 230lb but definitely wanted to be thinner (180 target weight, I'm down to 198). I have been struggling to get enough water but I feel like right now I'm probably going to the bathroom more than I used to if anything. I'm not sure if all the inflammation is due to the body shock of going from feast to famine

Usually I’m okay on Mothers Day and don’t pity myself but this year it was different. My fibroid discovery started in February of this year (symptoms bloating and weight gain, Dr said my uterus is a 15 week pregnancy, maybe my fatigue is related but I’m not anemic) and learning all about them has been a doozy. I’m 39 and not naive to the fact that I’m about to turn into a pumpkin (Cinderella reference) but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was talking to my brother yesterday who is someone who never sugar coats things and he was saying “you’re 39 the best chance you have is probably being a step mom and that’s okay” which is true but still stings as a girl who was raised around family and playing with babies. Never pictured my life 39, single & childless by here we are. Got married at 23 and always wanted 3 kids but that ended in a divorce after his infidelity.
I’m waiting on a second opinion as the options given to me were UFE or hysterectomy. UFE seems like the road I may take but I keep seeing differing opinions on if you can have a baby after UFE. Okay, that’s all. I just needed to vent in a space where maybe someone could relate. Not looking for sympathy just had to get it out as I don’t believe in keeping things in. Getting things out helps me a lot so I appreciate allowing me to. Love and peace to you all on here 🩵

I have PCOS and I’d love to get off birth control pill (bcp) but without it I have terrible symptoms. Western medicine keeps pointing me to weight loss but I haven’t had much success. So I wanted to try CM and see if that can help.
Also context: I live abroad in east Africa. I have looked into a CM doctor here but unsure how to judge quality here. So in addition to suggestions (diagnosis, herbs, etc) maybe any advice on what I can ask to suss out potential doctors here.
I couldn’t get a good pic, but I definitely have teeth imprints on the sides of my tongue
Other important info maybe:
Energy: I’m an early bird. Have no problems getting up and going at anytime in the morning but come 2 or 3 pm I’m ready to crash.
Appetite: I’ve tried to eat less and it works for like two or three weeks or so but then I lose the focus/motivation and it takes me a week to get back on it. I have tried very hard to improve my gut microbome and eat more veggies and fruits and less processed foods. I try to get protein at every meal.
Exercise: I am very active (former college athlete) I weight lift 2-3 times a week. Do Pilates or step aerobics the other days. Usually get in an active rest day with an hr walk or yoga.
Digestion: I used to take probiotics daily but once I increased my fruit and veggies I became pretty regular with healthy poops so now I just take as needed.
Sleep: I’m an insomniac. I’ve been prescribed adhd/blood pressure meds to help previously but I moved and haven’t found a new psychiatrist. I’d say I average 5-6 hrs a night
Female, no history of pregnancy. Poor history of menstrual cycles (lol pcos, so they are incredibly irregular, nonexistent if I’m not on bcp) and even when present extremely light.
Diagnosed inattentive adhd and anxiety.
Happy to answer any questions that would be helpful.

M22 entering into a challenge to try and reduce 25-30 kgs by end of 2024, looking for anyone else with a similar goal and we can hopefully keep each other dedicated throughout the journey🤝. If interested feel free to PM me!

I’m not new to weight loss and I know it’s not a straight path due to fluctuations, but curious how do you guys take in your weighs in. Typically I try to weight myself everyday and get an average but they’ll be days where I weigh in 232 the next is 235. Should the lowest number be considered as more correct? Or how else do you guys go about it?

Im a 16 (m) year old that recently started my weight loss journey. I’m 6’2 (191cm) and 251lbs (114kgs). I’ve been using my bike a lot recently, been out swimming and hit the gym for the first time yesterday! I didn’t do much but do some running and bicep curls at 5kg, 10 at a time. Does anyone happen to have some tips that I could use for my next gym session? I was thinking about making tuesdays arm days, thursdays chest days and saturdays leg days. I don’t know if i’m setting up plans a little too early or not but I would really love some tips from y’all who are more experienced than me.

I have really been struggling to lose weight since the beginning of the year. I lost 38 kg in 2023 and I'm down a total of 59 kg since 2018. I still have about 34 kg more to lose, maybe 45 kg if I am really motivated and I just can't seem to get back on track again. I've had a few stressful things happen to me this year and I've definitely been using food to comfort myself. I just feel disappointed in myself right now. I have mostly maintained this year, which I guess is good, but I wish I had lost more weight by now. So I am once again trying to get back on track with my weight loss for what feels like the 100th time this year. I have been taking a lot of walks and have been lifting weights, but I need to be consistent with my calories again.

Content Warning:Mentions of Child Abuse & Gore
They called me a colic baby, meaning I was a seemingly healthy baby that was distressed for an unknown reason. The fits of crying mostly dissipated by six months, but they'd crop up every now and then into toddler-hood. When I became capable of babbling a few words, I would summarize my pain in a few words: belly hurt. Belly HURT!
My parents didn't have much money, but they took me to the doctor for a checkup anyway. After running a physical exam and blood test, they determined that I was merely an excessively gassy little girl and should probably eat a more gut-friendly diet. They also prescribed some medicine which would eliminate the gas and relieve my pain.
It was from that moment on that my parents gave me the nickname "Gas Girl" (which I despised). The name stuck for several years, and anytime I'd get a little stomach ache my mom or dad would say, "uh, oh. It's not Gas Girl returning, is it?" I'd glare at them with my arms folded and pout, saying, "I'm not Gas Girl. I'm Wonder Girl!" My parents would share a look, then burst out laughing. Just as I was about to shout a retort, my dad would open up his arms and bend down in that familiar pose which signaled liftoff, and all my childish rage detached like a racing sticker as I leaped into my dad's arms and he flew me around the living room shouting "Who is it? It's Wonder-girl! Here to save the day from Gas Girl!"
Anyway, just as the nickname wore off, the pain returned. I was about 7 or 8 when I had my first big episode. I was in second grade, and the class was cutting out shapes. The pain came on so suddenly I remember lurching back and falling out of my seat. The next few hours were a blur of adults: my teacher, the nurses, the principal, my parents. I remember how cold and alone I felt despite being surrounded by grown ups, and my stomach hurt so much I was crying pretty much nonstop.
My dad bought a bunch of OTC medicine to try and settle what he thought was a really bad gas episode. My mom laid at the side of my bed and did bicycles in the air with me. Hours passed in pain as my adolescent imagination conjured up images of an evil little elf blowing thousands of bubbles in my belly. I consciously pictured myself popping them, but every time I did, more were blown. My dad scheduled a doctor's appointment for the next morning, and my mom stayed at my side until I was able to fall asleep sometime late in the night.
I dreamed vividly a horrific nightmare. I was strapped to a black, metal box. A surgeon donning blue scrubs with white gloves and a mask entered the space in my peripheral vision. The air was cold but crisp, as if every bit of dust had been scrubbed out of existence. I could feel my breathing, my heartbeat, even my skin. The doctor stepped forward and I could see the distortion of a smirk in the folds of his mask. I expected him to say something, to tell me what he wanted, but instead he lifted my shirt so my belly was exposed. "It's cold", I said in a mumbly voice. He lifted his hand in the air, and I saw behind it off in the back of the room was what looked like the glass wall of an aquarium. I was confused for a second, but only a second. The surgeon plunged his hand into my stomach like a spear, splitting through the flesh as if it were the skin of a ripe fruit. The previously silent man began to cackle like a maniacal villain as I nearly passed out from the pain. I felt his fingers swimming through my guts like parasitic worms. My body shook as cold sweat and blood began to ooze from my pores. I wanted to scream but I couldn't make a sound. I could only lay there, paralyzed, as the evil doctor explored my insides.
Somehow I lost consciousness in the dream, but when I woke up, the memory came flooding back, and I screamed with all the force of a thunderstorm. My parents skipped the appointment and rushed me to immediate care, but by the time we arrived, the pain was gone. I explained my dream to the doctor, but he said it was normal to dream up reasons for the pain. They recommended a CT scan to screen out the possibility of an ulcer or internal bleeding. Despite my parents' scarce savings, they agreed to run the test. However, something deeply entrenched in my mind thought of the dream with the surgeon and I protested. "I don't want a test!" I screamed. "But, honey, how are we going to know what's wrong?" replied my mom. "Nothing's wrong now. I don't want a test."
Looking back now on my persistence, it should have been obvious that there was something wrong with me, but my parents, who were thinking of their finances, allowed themselves to acquiesce to my demands. The pain would continue into and throughout my teenage years, and the one benefit that I can credit to it was that it taught me how to endure pain and hide it well before puberty started. Compared to my childhood cramps, period cramps were around a B+. Very bad, but not end of the world bad. However, they'd stick around more reliably, and eventually the two began to combine until I could no longer discern between them. Occasionally I would have a nightmare and wake up with a pain that was a little higher in my stomach, almost approaching my chest, but it would always disappear by breakfast time, and the chaos of a teenage girl's life would once again reassert itself in the form of an outfit that didn't look quite right or the memory of every word of a conversation with a guy I liked or how my teacher was out to get me. Basically, I had become normal.
And then two weeks after I turned 16, my dad passed away from heart failure. Apparently the stress from a paycheck-to-paycheck life in sales added onto a bad diet and a penchant for alcohol was a recipe for disaster. He was only 49. I was crushed.
The weeks and months following his funeral were filled with teenage anger and resentment. I directed most of it at my mom, who I held accountable for not being strong enough to step up and help with the bills. One day, when I was searching the drug cabinet for some painkillers to deal with some bad cramping, I noticed a new prescription for a drug with a really long name. I looked it up. It was an antidepressant. From that moment on I stopped giving my mom shit, but I grew a bit distant from her. I started spending a lot more time with my friends. I became reckless, adopting a drinking habit and unsafe sex practices. I smoked a bit but I didn't really like it. I guess I was just trying to find a way to move on, as naive as it was.
Fast forward to my present situation, and I'm a college student. A junior to be exact. I ended up scrounging up enough money from working two restaurant jobs to see a therapist on my own dime, and managed to make peace with my mom before leaving. We both talked out all of our trauma and cried together, and from that moment on, I haven't had a drink. About six months ago I got on the pill. I was starting to see one guy consistently and I wanted to be safe, but also I wanted to know what it felt like to not have stomach cramps anymore. It was freeing. I remembered my dad lifting me up into the air as a child, and I figured it kinda felt like that. I still cry thinking about him, although I don't let anyone see.
Anyway, about a week ago I started having really bad pain again, but this time it was in my chest. I would wake up in my apartment (I share a 3-bedroom with some friends from the college) with heart palpitations. My heart felt like a snake had wrapped around it and was trying to choke it out. The pressure would give way to a burst of fast ba-dum's, then settle, then start again. I remembered my dad's prognosis and started to get really scared, so I scheduled an appointment with the on-campus doctor for the next day through the online health platform.
They told me that chest pain is no joke and scheduled to have me scanned at a nearby hospital. This was four days ago. My boyfriend, Kevin, drove me there even though I said I'd be fine going alone. I think I already knew our relationship wasn't going to work out long term, so I was kind of checked out. I felt bad about it though because Kev is actually a really good person, but our personalities just don't match. He's very introverted and doesn't like to go out, whereas I thrive in group settings. Anyway, he drove me and I ended up getting an X-ray. The doc came in to share the results and I was immediately put off by the dubious expression on his face.
"What do you mean the images are blurry?" I asked.
"Well, it's just… that. They're blurry. It's very unusual for this to happen unless you have a pacemaker or some other device implanted. Do you know if you have something like that?"
"No, never," I said with a quaver in my voice. For some reason I thought back on my childhood dream with the surgeon and felt the urge to vomit.
"Well, let's run a CT scan and see if we can make anything out." He soothed.
Normally the CT and MRI dock was booked for a week out but the doctor happened to have an open space for me that same morning, so I waited about an hour and then got in the big tube machine that took pictures of my chest and abdomen. He said he should have the results by Thursday. That was Yesterday.
I was driving onto campus for my 9AM class when I got the call.
"Hello, this is Dr. **** calling for Josie **** ." (names redacted for privacy reasons)
"Oh, yes, this is Josie," I said and fit the phone between my shoulder and ear as I tried to find a comfortable posture."
"Yes, hello," the male doctor said in grave way which made me feel like this wasn't going to be a short call. "I wanted to see if you were available to come in today for some more tests."
"More tests?" I asked. "What about the first ones?" Images of blocked heart valves and cancer presented themselves on my mental screen.
"Yes, well, I wanted to discuss the results with you in person. There was a bit of a … well, an inconsistency, and I didn't want to upset you—"
"Upset me!?" I blurted, my free hand flying out over the steering wheel, swerving my car toward the curb. I corrected, then lowered my voice, "sorry, I don't mean to be …" be, what? This is completely absurd. "Could you at least give me some indication of what's wrong with me? I'm just kind of panicking here."
The doctor was quiet for a moment, then returned. "Sorry, Josie, I didn't mean to spook you. Both the X-ray scan and CT scan are picking up interference which is unusual. It's possible it's just a flaw on our end, so that's why we wanted you to come back in—to do an MRI and really verify what the issue is. This one would be free of charge and we'd get you results same-day as we feel bad about the issues with the machinery. Do you think that would be possible?"
I took a deep breath. I still felt uneasy, but at least now there was some kind of explanation I could lean on. "Okay, yeah, I can come in. I have class until 9:50AM, but I can drive over after and be there around 10:15, 10:20-ish. Would that work?"
"That would work great. We'll see you then."
I spent the whole of my communications class thinking about what could be wrong with me, doodling my ideas down on a notebook. Heart disease. Cancer. Some kind of peptic ulcer. Maybe it was the pill? The drinking? Was this some kind of cosmic retribution? I didn't know.
An hour later I was back at the hospital. I expected to be ushered into the MRI prep room, but instead I found myself in one of the normal patient rooms, sitting upright on a bed. The nurse did the preliminary height and weight measurements and medical history. I asked about the MRI, but all she said was that the doctor will discuss that with me. Before she left, she handed me an assessment to fill out. It seemed to be a list of questions about the medical history of my family, specifically about our mental health. Does your family have a history of Schizophrenia? Have there been any instances of domestic abuse? Did you have vivid nightmares as a child? Etc. I marked the boxes, then set the clipboard down.
At last I heard the fated knock on the door, and my doctor came in holding an Ipad. The door was only open for maybe a couple seconds, but I could see multiple nurses and technicians peeking their heads in my direction, as if they were trying to catch a glimpse of me. That can't be good.
"Hello, Josie," the doctor said and clicked on the little TV screen. He didn't even look at me. I could see dried sweat along his hairline.
"What's happening? I thought I was going to get an MRI…"
"Well, actually we aren't sure if that's the best course of action." the doctor said as he clicked the screen and pulled up a series of images.
"Can you look at me, please?" I snapped.
The doctor raised his head and tilted it in my direction. His mouth was agape, his eyes wide as if only realizing I was here at that moment. "I'm sorry, Josie." He took a deep breath, preparing some kind of canned presentation, then let it out and said, "It's just easier if I show you." He pulled up the first global image from what I presume was my CT scan. It was a front-shot. I could see my organs as little geometric shapes and—
"Wait, what is that?" I asked, pointing at the screen.
"That—is the problem."
I spent the next minute just staring at it. Somehow, in between all of the organs, there was some kind of cylindrical mass—I thought it was my spine at first but quickly realized it was too wide and there weren't any vertebrae—and at the head of the mass was, very clearly, a hand.
"What the fuck is that" I said in a tone that was at once forceful and pointed.
"It appears," the doctor started, looking away again. "It appears that there is a mechanical hand in your chest cavity. It's attached to a piece of a forearm that begins at your stomach, here," he pointed, "and continues up until, well, it appears to be holding your heart."
Ten seconds passed in silence. Then I was hit with the equivalent of the laughing gas they give you at the Dentist's office. All the blood in my body surged to my forehead and I felt light as the very thin hospital air. "Hahaha!!! You expect me to believe that? What kind of fucking clown-show hospital is this? Am I at the circus?' I stood up and started toward the door. The doctor body blocked me.
"Please, Josie, that isn't it."
"Oh?" I said sarcastically. "Please, do tell."
"Could you have—oh, okay, okay,, let me explain."
I stood there with my arms folded, unrelenting.
"When we first had you do the X-ray there was a big blur. It was clear that something was blocking us from seeing the image. The CT scan was able to take some actual pictures of it. I know it seems, well, unusual—"
"Wait, what the hell is that?" I asked, gesturing toward the clipboard.
"What?" The doctor looked disoriented.
"Those questions. Are you trying to insinuate that my mom and dad implanted some kind of mechanical hand in my body?"
"No," the doctor raised his hands. "We were just trying to gather some more information… Josie," the doctor said as I once again headed for the door handle. "Please, there's more. From the blood test we conducted it seems that you're pregnant."
I was so done. "I'm on the pill, asshole." I sneered and swung the door open, ignoring the sets of eyes trained on me as I scurried to the end of the hall, ran outside, and climbed into my car. I expected to see a bunch of people in white coats running after me, but there was no one. I started the car as tears began to stream from my eyes. Fuck them, I thought and sped out of the parking lot.
I couldn't return to my apartment. I ended up driving for hours, working my way back to my hometown. I spent a long time thinking about all the things I had experienced growing up. The stomach pain, slowly working its way up to my chest. The vivid dream of the surgeon feeling around my guts. Was it really that crazy to think my body was trying to tell me something? Why had I decided against having a CT scan all those years ago? Why now? I didn't—couldn't believe what was happening to me. But was that just because I didn't want to believe it?
And then there was the pregnancy. I was definitely on the pill. I knew it wasn't Kev's, or at least I was pretty sure it wasn't. We haven't been having sex for a little over a month now. But did that mean that something else didn't impregnate me? My paranoia was at its peak. I considered the possibility that maybe it was me that was Schizophrenic. None of this made any sense. I wanted my dad. I missed him. I considered going to see my mom, but despite making up with her, I still didn't feel close enough to her to own up to everything. I wanted to be alone—needed to be alone.
I ended up getting a Motel about 10 minutes away from my house. It was around 1AM when I finally opened the door to my room and laid down on the bed. After hours of thinking, a single thought occurred to me like a kind of defense mechanism: if I really am pregnant, I'm not keeping the baby. I want it out.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I heard the notification sound go off on my phone, which was odd since I was sure I had set it to vibrate. I turned and grabbed it, unplugging it from its charging dock. I had received a text message from an unknown, 5-digit number: 66669. This is what it said.
66669: If you terminate my baby, I will crush your heart.
***
I haven't been able to sleep since. It's now 6AM and I've drafted this as a cry for help. Please, let me know what you think I should do. I'm too "in it" to see the details clearly. I feel alone and scared and paranoid. Someone or something is watching me. Maybe it has been my whole life.

Only, I'm not quite sure what to ask him to help me with. I wondered if anyone could help me have inspiration, or insight please. This would be the first session of potentially many sessions.
The hypnotherapist is a friend of a friend, and I've been having coffee with him a couple of times recently. He's a professional and apparently been doing this for many years. Randomly, when I was searching for a hypnotherapist a couple of years ago he's the one I liked the look of the best too.
Things I would like help with, but are they feasible?
I would like to give up added sugaunhealthy foods in general.
I practice intermittent fasting, could therapy help me be stricter with myself during fasts. I mean, help me to easily fast for longer. I do between 16-18 hours a day, but aim to do 20+
Weight loss in general I guess ^
I'm terrible at small talk, and being confident to have interesting banter. Although I am pretty confident in general, I would like to not have social anxiety and just always have something to say!
I have problems sleeping for longer than six hours. If this could help me sleep longer I'd be so happy.
I appreciate I can ask him about all this, but thought I'd just post here. Are my things suitable for hypnosis/cbt/therapy.
Is there anything else I should know?
Thank you.
I apologise for being a noob with this. I'm just over excited about the possibilities!

"IL-PN JSABBAT SAQAJH U JOĦROĠ ’IL BARRA MILL-PARLAMENT WARA LI M’GĦADDIETX TIEGĦU
Id-deputati tal-Oppożizzjoni ħarġu ’l barra mill-Parlament wara ruling tal-Ispeaker biex issir diskussjoni urġenti dwar l-eżitu tar-rapport tal-inkjesta b’rabta mal-konċessjoni tal-isptarijiet.
Din il-mozzjoni, li ntalbet mill-Kap tal-Oppożizzjoni, ma ġietx aċċettata f’ruling li ta l-Ispeaker tal-Kamra. B’reazzjoni għal dan, Bernard Grech qal li l-Kamra ma fehmitx il-mozzjoni tiegħu biex eventwalment id-deputati tal-Oppożizzjoni sabbtu saqajhom u telqu ’l barra.
Dan ir-ruling mitlub mill-Oppożizzjoni, irreaġixxa wkoll il-Prim Ministru Robert Abela.
Il-Prim Ministru qal li, fil-mozzjoni tiegħu, Bernard Grech qed jistieden li l-Parlament jittrasforma ruħu f’Qorti u mhux jagħmel dan kontra l-liġi.
“Jien kont l-ewwel wieħed, ħafna qablu, l-ewwel wieħed li għedt li l-Avukat Ġenerali għandha tippubblika l-proċess verbal minnufih.”
Waqt li beda jitkellem il-Prim Ministru fil-Parlament kien hemm l-interruzzjonijiet, fosthom mid-Deputat Nazzjonalista, Karol Aquilina.
Il-Prim Ministru qal kif hu għażel li jwieġeb fl-ogħla istituzzjoni tal-pajjiż u mhux bil-kummenti moħbija fuq il-midja soċjali.
Il-Prim Ministru, kompla jinnota u jistaqsi, kif jista’ jkun li, waqt tfittxijiet partikolari, ikollok eks deputat tal-Oppożizzjoni li jkun jaf eżattament meta se jsiru dawn it-tfittxijiet.
“Jimporta? Sur President ħa nwieġeb lil Karol Aquilina. Jien il-kwistjoni veru mhux dik li qed ipoġġu huma, ta’ min għandu l-proċess verbal illum, min kien jaf x’se jkun hemm f’dak il-proċess verbal qabel ingħalqet l-inkjesta. Min waqt li għaddejja l-inkjesta kellu, u kien ikun jaf bis-siegħa u bil-ġurnata ta’ meta jsiru t-tfittxijiet, u ssibu wara l-bieb ta’ barra ta’ fejn se jsiru.”
Waqt li l-Prim Ministru kien qed jitkellem, bosta deputati Nazzjonalisti bdew itellfuh milli jitkellem u ħolqu kommossjoni fil-Parlament, tant li s-seduta kellha tiġi sospiża għal xi ħin. Wara, tipikament mill-Oppożizzjoni Nazzjonalista, li meta ma jiħdux li jridu, jitilqu ’l barra.
Dr Abela żied jgħid u jiċċara li l-Parlament mhuwiex il-Qorti u, bħala organu leġizlattiv, m’għandux jasal għal deċizjonijiet li jmorru kontra l-liġijiet magħmulin minnu stess.
“Però li qed ngħid ukoll hu li din il-Kamra, bħala l-organu li tilleġisla, ma jistax hu jipparteċipa f’ezercizzju, li tasal għal deċiżjoni li tmur kontra l-liġijiet li jgħaddi hu stess – dak li qed ngħid.”
Il-Prim Ministru stqarr li, jekk xi ħadd jista’ jgħid min hu l-establishment, dan hu Adrian Delia, hekk kif kien l-establishment li neħħih minn Kap Nazzjonalista, biex minfloku poġġa lil Bernard Grech.
Il-Prim Ministru qal li hu jifhem li l-Avukat Ġenerali qed tagħmel ix-xogħol tagħha biex tippubblika l-proċess verbali, filwaqt li qal li l-pubblikazzjoni ta’ dan ir-rapport għandha ssir illum qabel għada.
https://one.com.mt/il-pn-johrog-isabbat-saqajh-u-johrog-il-barra-mill-parlament-wara-li-mghaddietx-tieghu/
—
Today's Amazon Deals (Affiliate) - https://amzn.to/3FeoGyg
Becoming Catholic will give you a solid foundation for your eternal destiny. The Catholic faith represents the most complex, consistent, and complete system of ideas among all the competing philosophies of humanity. It is a veritable cathedral of human thought. The Catholic Church teaches that God loves us so much that he sent his only Son to die for our sins and rise again for our salvation. By believing in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we can receive God’s grace and live with him forever in heaven. - https://www.vaticannews.va/en.html
Radio Maria Greater China (Mainland China, Hong Kong, Macau, Taiwan) - http://www.voiceofmary.org.mo/ - “Radio Maria is a gift from Our Lady. Through programming, every editorial product, and all our activities, we must be a radio of prayer and evangelization with a strong Marian imprint and a call to conversion.” (Fr. Livio)
Radio Maria responds to Jesus’ continual invitation: “Go into the whole world and proclaim the Gospel to every creature” (Mk 16:15).
The main themes of our programming are:
Prayer;
The call to conversion;
Evangelization;
Human and social formation;
News from Church and society.
VisitMalta: Get all the information you need for your trip to Malta! Book tickets, discover new places to visit, find amazing things to do and more! - https://www.visitmalta.com/
Disclaimer: This site is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal [health, tax, profession] advice. We are not responsible for any losses, damages, or liabilities that may arise from the use of this blog. This blog is not intended to replace professional medical advice. The views expressed in this blog may not be those of the host or the management.
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"
"國盟在議會未獲通過後雙腳失勢離開議會
在議長決定就醫院特許權調查報告的結果進行緊急討論後，反對黨議員退出議會。
這項由反對黨領袖提出的動議在眾議院議長的裁決中未被接受。對此，伯納德·格雷奇回應稱，眾議院不理解他的動議，所以最終反對黨議員盤腿離開。
總理羅伯特·阿貝拉也對反對黨要求的這項裁決做出了反應。
總理表示，伯納德·格雷奇在其動議中邀請議會將其轉變為法院，但不要違法。
“很多人都同意，我是第一個說司法部長應該立即公佈口頭程序的人。”
當總理開始在議會發言時，有人打斷他，其中包括民族黨議員卡羅爾·阿奎利納 (Karol Aquilina)。
總理表示，他選擇在國家最高機構回答問題，而不是在社群媒體上發表隱藏評論。
總理繼續指出並詢問，在特定搜查期間，怎麼可能有一位前反對黨議員確切知道這些搜查何時進行。
「有關係嗎？總統先生，讓我回答卡羅爾·阿奎利納。我才是真正的問題，而不是他們提出的問題，誰今天有口頭程序，誰知道在調查結束之前口頭程序會發生什麼。在調查進行期間，他已經知道並且會知道進行搜查的時間和日期，你會在搜查地點的前門後面找到他。
當總理講話時，許多國民黨議員開始乾擾他講話，並在議會中引起騷動，以至於會議不得不暫停一段時間。之後，通常來自民族主義反對派，當他們沒有得到他們想要的東西時，他們就會離開這個國家。
阿貝拉博士補充並澄清，議會不是法院，作為立法機構，它不應做出違反其本身製定的法律的決定。
“但我還要說的是，眾議院作為立法機構，不能參與一項違反其通過的法律的決定——這就是我所說的。”
總理表示，如果有人能說出這個建制派是誰，那就是阿德里安·迪莉婭，因為正是這個建制派罷免了他的民族黨領袖職務，並用伯納德·格雷奇取而代之。
總理表示，他理解總檢察長正在盡其職責公佈口頭程序，同時他說這份報告的公佈應該在今天之前完成。
https://one.com.mt/il-pn-johrog-isabbat-saqajhh-u-johrog-il-barra-mil-parlament-wara-li-mgdadidx-tieghu/
—
今日亞馬遜優惠（聯盟）- https://amzn.to/3FeoGyg
成為天主教徒將為您永恆的命運奠定堅實的基礎。天主教信仰代表了人類所有相互競爭的哲學中最複雜、最一致、最完整的思想體系。這是名副其實的人類思想大教堂。天主教會教導說，上帝如此愛我們，以至於祂派遣祂的獨生子為我們的罪而死，並為我們的救贖而復活。透過相信耶穌基督為我們的主和救主，我們可以接受神的恩典並與祂永遠生活在天堂裡。 - https://www.vaticannews.va/en.html
瑪麗亞電台大中華區（中國大陸、香港、澳門、台灣） - http://www.voiceofmary.org.mo/ - 「瑪麗亞電台是聖母的禮物。透過節目編排、每一份社論產品以及我們所有的活動，我們必須成為帶有強烈瑪麗亞印記並呼籲皈依的祈禱和福傳電台。 （利維奧神父）
瑪麗亞電台回應耶穌不斷的邀請：「你們往全世界去，向萬民傳福音」（可16:15）。
我們節目的主題是：
禱告;
呼籲轉變；
傳福音；
人類和社會的形成；
來自教會和社會的新聞。
VisitMalta：取得馬耳他之旅所需的所有資訊！預訂門票、發現新的遊覽地點、發現令人驚奇的事情等等！ - https://www.visitmalta.com/
免責聲明：本網站僅供參考，不應被視為法律[健康、稅務、職業]建議。我們對因使用本部落格而可能產生的任何損失、損害或責任不承擔任何責任。本部落格無意取代專業醫療建議。本部落格所表達的觀點可能不代表主持人或管理階層的觀點。
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"
"国盟在议会未获通过后双脚失势离开议会
在议长决定就医院特许权调查报告的结果进行紧急讨论后，反对党议员退出议会。
这项由反对党领袖提出的动议在众议院议长的裁决中未被接受。对此，伯纳德·格雷奇回应称，众议院不理解他的动议，所以最终反对党议员盘腿离开。
总理罗伯特·阿贝拉也对反对党要求的这一裁决做出了反应。
总理表示，伯纳德·格雷奇在其动议中邀请议会将其转变为法院，但不要违法。
“很多人都同意，我是第一个说司法部长应该立即公布口头程序的人。”
当总理开始在议会发言时，有人打断他，其中包括民族党议员卡罗尔·阿奎利纳 (Karol Aquilina)。
总理表示，他选择在国家最高机构回答问题，而不是在社交媒体上发表隐藏评论。
总理继续指出并询问，在特定搜查期间，怎么可能有一位前反对党议员确切知道这些搜查何时进行。
“有关系吗？总统先生，让我回答卡罗尔·阿奎利纳。我才是真正的问题，而不是他们提出的问题，谁今天有口头程序，谁知道在调查结束之前口头程序会发生什么。在调查进行期间，他已经知道并且会知道进行搜查的时间和日期，你会在搜查地点的前门后面找到他。”
当总理讲话时，许多国民党议员开始干扰他讲话，并在议会中引起骚动，以至于会议不得不暂停一段时间。之后，通常来自民族主义反对派，当他们没有得到他们想要的东西时，他们就会离开这个国家。
阿贝拉博士补充并澄清，议会不是法院，作为立法机构，它不应做出违反其本身制定的法律的决定。
“但我还要说的是，众议院作为立法机构，不能参与一项违反其通过的法律的决定——这就是我所说的。”
总理表示，如果有人能说出这个建制派是谁，那就是阿德里安·迪莉娅，因为正是这个建制派罢免了他的民族党领袖职务，并用伯纳德·格雷奇取而代之。
总理表示，他理解总检察长正在尽其职责公布口头程序，同时他说这份报告的公布应该在今天之前完成。
https://one.com.mt/il-pn-johrog-isabbat-saqajhh-u-johrog-il-barra-mil-parlament-wara-li-mgdadidx-tieghu/
—
今日亚马逊优惠（联盟）- https://amzn.to/3FeoGyg
成为天主教徒将为您永恒的命运奠定坚实的基础。天主教信仰代表了人类所有相互竞争的哲学中最复杂、最一致、最完整的思想体系。这是名副其实的人类思想大教堂。天主教会教导说，上帝如此爱我们，以至于他派遣他的独生子为我们的罪而死，并为我们的救赎而复活。通过相信耶稣基督为我们的主和救主，我们可以接受神的恩典并与他永远生活在天堂里。 - https://www.vaticannews.va/en.html
玛丽亚电台大中华区（中国大陆、香港、澳门、台湾） - http://www.voiceofmary.org.mo/ - “玛丽亚电台是圣母的礼物。通过节目编排、每一份社论产品以及我们所有的活动，我们必须成为带有强烈玛丽亚印记并呼吁皈依的祈祷和福传电台。” （利维奥神父）
玛丽亚电台回应耶稣不断的邀请：“你们往全世界去，向万民传福音”（可16:15）。
我们节目的主题是：
祷告;
呼吁转变；
传福音；
人类和社会的形成；
来自教会和社会的新闻。
VisitMalta：获取马耳他之旅所需的所有信息！预订门票、发现新的游览地点、发现令人惊奇的事情等等！ - https://www.visitmalta.com/
免责声明：本网站仅供参考，不应被视为法律[健康、税务、职业]建议。我们对因使用本博客而可能产生的任何损失、损害或责任不承担任何责任。本博客无意取代专业医疗建议。本博客所表达的观点可能不代表主持人或管理层的观点。
https://www.reddit.com/SinoMaltaNews
http://sinomaltanews.freeforums.net/
"

Cryotherapy, the practice of exposing the body to ultra-low temperatures, is gaining popularity for its multifaceted benefits. From accelerated muscle recovery to pain relief and skin rejuvenation, cryotherapy offers a range of advantages.

1. Accelerated Muscle Recovery: By stimulating blood circulation and releasing endorphins, cryotherapy aids in muscle healing, reducing inflammation, and minimizing soreness. Athletes find it beneficial for quicker recovery and improved performance.
2. Pain Relief and Management: Cryotherapy provides drug-free relief for chronic conditions like arthritis and fibromyalgia by numbing pain and reducing inflammation. It offers both immediate and long-term relief, making it a valuable alternative to medication.
3. Skin Health and Appearance: Stimulating collagen production and tightening pores, cryotherapy diminishes wrinkles, promotes clearer skin, and alleviates inflammatory conditions like acne and eczema.
4. Weight Loss and Metabolism: Exposure to cold temperatures during cryotherapy sessions can boost metabolic rate and calorie burning, aiding in weight loss and fat reduction. It also regulates hormone levels, supporting appetite control and efficient nutrient absorption.

In conclusion, whether you're an athlete seeking peak performance, someone managing chronic pain, or simply aiming for overall wellness, cryotherapy presents a promising avenue for improvement.
📋 Source: Chill Your Way to Wellness with Cryotherapy

Hello, new to this sub. I am 7w6d (based on my own calculations, not confirmed by ultrasound yet). I currently have my HCG being monitored due to my last pregnancy ending in a loss at 6w0d. I keep seeing women talk about both their progesterone and their HCG, however my dr has only been testing for HCG so far. My HCG is consistently doubling up to this point, just wondering if i should be requesting my progesterone to be tested as well or if a high hcg is no good without progesterone. Someone let me know.

Sorry this is long, but wanted to be thorough. Let me know your thoughts.
Growing up I had chronic ear infections, in high school I was constantly sick, frequently with what seemed to be bacterial infections. I got my first yeast infection when I was 13 before ever being sexually active. I also struggled with oral thrush frequently in high school. I've also never been overweight and my diet growing up was mostly very healthy due to my parents, but I had a really bad sugar craving. My period started around 12 and up until I started taking oral contraceptive at 16, it was very heavy and very painful with strong PMS. I've also struggled to fall asleep my entire life, I did not nap as a child and to this day I cannot nap unless I am very sick.
When I was 17yrs old (female), I went to the doctor with abdominal pain, extreme lack of appetite and nausea if I did eat, trouble sleeping, concentrating, fatigue, depression. At the time I had been on oral contraceptive for about 2 years.. They did a blood test and the results were:
Serum Iron - 198mcg/dL (reference range: 26-169) HIGH
Iron Saturation - 55% (reference range: 15-55%) ALMOST HIGH
Ferritin 29ng/mL (reference range: 15-77) Normal
TIBC - 361ng/dL (reference: 250-450) Normal
UIBC - 163ug/dL (reference: 131-425) Normal
TSH - 1.85 uIU/mL (reference: 0.450-4.500) Normal
T4, free - 2.1ng/dL (reference: 1.2-4.9) Normal
MCV - 97 cumicron (79-97) ALMOST HIGH
MCH - 31.6 cumicron (26.6-33.0) normal
Monocytes - 6%
At the time the doctor decided I had high inflammation in my body and put me on an inflammation diet and a lot of supplements (it was a functional doctor that my parents liked). It seemed to work after 3 months of strict diet and supplementation. I switched to a hormonal IUD in 2019. Throughout college I struggled with low energy and low mood and after a year of therapy was diagnosed with clinical depression by my therapist. I decided to not take medication for it. I've also been experiencing abdominal pain that radiates down my legs for multiple years. The abdominal pain was so bad I went to get checked for endometriosis last spring but they can't diagnose it without surgery, but the IUD is correctly placed.
Two months ago (24 years old) I went into the doctors to get tested for hypothyroidism since my mother had it and I had developed Reynaud's syndrome (I've always had very cold sensitive feet though) a month after starting adderall for ADHD and low energy (started in January). I had also been experiencing wrist joint pain, hair loss, and low appetite, but did not think much of it. The results were:
TSH - 2.510 uIU/m (reference: 0.450-4.500) Normal (higher than at 17)
MCV - 98 fL (80-96) HIGH
MCH - 33.3 pg (27.5-33.2) HIGH
Monocytes - 8.3% (0.0-7.3%) HIGH
I weighed 131 lbs then.
However, the Reynaud's was not improving and I was still experiencing symptoms of back pain and joint pain and abdominal pain. I also was losing weight and experiencing hair loss.
The rheumatologists tests one months ago came back normal with no sign of autoimmune disease. She said the reynaud's is probably just the adderall increasing my blood vessel spasms. (my blood pressure was low for someone on adderall however: 100/65).
I weighed 123 lbs then.
Then I went to another doctor, two weeks ago, when I kept experiencing random muscle weakness and fatigue, had blood in my stool (which I had again today), joint pain in multiple joints and lower back pain and abdominal pain and pain in my sides near where the ribcage ends. Something is wrong. She took more blood tests and they came back with:
Serum Iron - 175ug/dL (reference: 27-159) HIGH
Iron Saturation - 67% (reference 15-55%) HIGH
Ferritin - 58ng/mL (reference: 15-77) Normal (higher than at 17)
TIBC - 263ug/dL (reference: 250-540) Normal (lower than at 17)
UIBC - 88ug/dL (reference: 131-425) LOW (much loser than at 17)
TSH - 4.05 uIU/mL (0.45-4.5) Normal (Almost double the past tests)
T4, free - 1.51ng/dL (0.82-1.77) Normal
APTT - 37 sec (reference: 24-33sec) HIGH
MCV - 96 cumicron (79-97) ALMOST HIGH
MCH - 32.5 cumicron (26.6-33.0) ALMOST HIGH
monocytes - 8% (0.0-7.3%) HIGH
This is not all the results but they are the most constantly high or changing ones. We also ruled out Addison's (my grandpa had it) and autoimmune markers are all coming back normal. I'm thinking I get checked for hemochromatosis. Any other thoughts or ideas about what the problem could be? I have stool samples being run right now.
Thank you.

I’ve gone through most of my life being attracted to women. I’m attracted to a huge variety of women, regardless of body shape, heritage, age, and so on. Ever since early puberty, though, I’ve always had a little spark of attraction to men. This attraction was always much more specific, related to body types and such. It was never as strong as my attraction to women, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned that I pretty reliably ride the “bi-cycle,” and that depending on the time of month, I may be more into women than men, more into men than women, and back and forth like that.
Through all of this, I’ve also discovered that I have a very strong attraction to crossdressing. I really enjoy putting in the time and effort to be the most attractive I can be as a woman, and be able to present as female. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m “non-binary,” because this desire doesn’t manifest itself very often, but when it does, it’s very strong. It’s practically all I can think about. I call it “the pink werewolf” coming out. And when this comes, I have this intense desire to be seen and appreciated as an attractive, female-presenting person, and especially to be an object of sexual desire.
I’m engaged to a lovely and kind-hearted woman who is aware of all this - to a certain extent. She knows I’ve had this history of sexual experimentation, and she’s been very accepting of that. I haven’t expressed ANY of these non-heteronormative behaviors in our relationship, though, and I’ll explain why:

1. My fiancée has been through a lot. She lost her father last year, and has been on a weight loss journey that has been tough to maintain. She struggles with ADHD and anxiety, and her job regularly drains her. This has led to her cocooning up into just doomscrolling on her phone at the end of the day, with no real interest in engaging with anyone. I do what I can to support her, but sometimes I’m just at a loss.
2. We haven’t had sex in a long time. I proposed to her at the start of the year, but we haven’t made love except maybe once since then, and that was months ago. She has a lot of anxiety about sex now, whereas she didn’t before, when we were first dating. Her last boyfriend used sex as a way to guilt trip her and control the relationship, and she’s having a hard time unlearning that. She also cites having a lot of fear of being unattractive, and of not being able to reach climax because she can’t get into the right headspace for it. I always tell her she’s lovely and pretty and sexy, and she knows anytime she wants to “get some,” I’m right here for her. But it’s been getting harder and harder to initiate with her because I’m just not motivated anymore. I love her, and want to connect with her, but I’m a little weary of how disconnected we are on this front, and I don’t even know where to start with her anymore. Nothing “comes naturally,” at least not lately. She has a vibrator and is able to use that pretty freely, which actually makes me a little jealous. I guess my thinking is, “If it’s so easy for her to get off without me around, what about me makes it difficult?” I’m not sure that’s the right way to think about it, though. I mean, I can jerk off all the time, what’s the difference there?
3. She’s expressed fear about “not being enough” for me. When I first explained to her how I tried out all sorts of sexual flavors in my past, she made it clear that she wanted to know if she would be enough for me. I said that the point of being in a relationship is so that you’re into it for the person, not the acts. That there are many healthy and creative ways for couples to act on their interests. I would never want her fears there to be realized. That would be terrible for her. That’s the last thing I want to do.

Lately, especially over the last couple of months, I’ve found myself increasingly wishing I could have some freedom to express my queerness without harming our relationship or betraying her trust. I don’t know what form that would take, though. I’m really feeling my feminine side lately, but in response to that, I’ve grown a beard, as though that would help repress it. But I desperately would love to get super skinny, get a full-body wax, a nice tan, and just doll myself up to the max.
We have a tough enough time initiating sex right now. And we’re facing a lot of stress as we try to finalize our wedding plans. We’ve had a lot of arguments lately that have left me feeling drained, and in response to this I’m looking for outlets where I feel seen, appreciated, and desired. I would never step outside of our relationship, because I truly love this woman. The way she looks at me, the way she takes care of me, the way we make each other laugh, and the safety and care I can provide to her… that’s something you only find once in a lifetime.
I just don’t know what to do. Do I just wait, tie the knot, provide what I can to make things better for us, and then talk about how to ease this stuff into our sex life when we have more emotional bandwidth? Do I seek out “alternative” outlets like online roleplay, video chat, OnlyFans, and so on, just to “scratch the itch” without burdening my girl with more to process? Or is this a sign of something deeper that I should make more of a priority for myself somehow? Am I risking my relationship by even “going there?” I just don’t know how to be all of myself without somehow causing harm, and that makes me very sad.

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