Title: I am 31 years old, make $92,600 base, live in Northern Alberta, work in Forestry, and recently returned to work after a year off for maternity leave.

• All $ in CAD. $1 CAD to $0.73 US.
• I will call my spouse H.
• We aren’t looking to change spending habits too much, this was more a fun exercise to see what we spend and how we’re doing financially now that I am back to work.

HHI: $166,000
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: Total $76,431 (joint)

• My retirement accounts include a DCPP of $62,495, an RRSP of $8125, and a TFSA of $130
• H’s only has a spousal RRSP of $5631
• DCPP amount is from a 5% base contribution plus 2% matching from my employer, and 3% from me. I have had this account since 25 (when I started at the company) and have done the matching the entire time except during my maternity leave. They continued the 5% base while I was off on maternity leave, I had the option to get the matching as well but we couldn’t swing the cost while I was only on EI.
• RRSPs are mostly from excess benefits money. I have flex benefits and get an annual amount to “spend”. Before we had our kid there was about $500/month split going into our RRSPs. Now we do $42.30/month split ($21.15 for each). The spousal RRSP means I can claim this on my taxes, instead of him claiming on his.
• TFSAs will be our next focus once we’ve caught up on the annual bills from May to July - annual house insurance and two vehicle insurances. We haven’t been consistent with depositing into our TFSA’s, so we have $80K+ room in each.

Equity: The house is worth $400,000. We owe $303,000. Equity is $97,000.
Savings account balance: $450 in emergency savings (this is a priority starting in August to beef up), $2000 in property taxes sinking fund (to be spent by July)
Checking account balance: $5288.15 - we both got paid today so I will be moving money around and this number will be down a lot by the end of the day.
Credit card debt: $16,635

• $12,855 LOC. This is entirely from vehicles - before I went on maternity leave H sold his truck and we took a $9500 loss - pulled the money out of the LOC to pay off the lien. In April, we needed a different vehicle so we took $6500 out of the LOC to purchase a new-to-us car. We have yet to sell the vehicle we replaced, but when we do that money will either go onto LOC or into emergency savings. We’re aiming to get $3000 for the sale.
• $530 My CC. This is from not budgeting for two road trips I took in the last two weeks, plus some other overspending on random things.
• $3250 H CC. This is from overspending on groceries/gas and vehicle expenses.

Student loan debt: $0

• H went to trade school (8 weeks/year for 4 years) to become a journeyman mechanic
• I took a 2-year diploma program that cost $12,000 (including books and random spending). My parents saved up $20K for me to go to college/university, so I got about $8,000 in cash from my mum once I graduated as I didn’t use all of the savings for school.
• I lived with my mum while in college and H lived with roommates so his income went to rent/groceries/bills and I had basically no living expenses as my mum covered everything.
• When he went to trade school I was working, so I covered our bills while he was off (and he got EI and some grants during that time frame).

Other Info:

• H and I have had combined finances since we were 19 when we married. This has greatly changed our financial situation.
• I have access to an employee stock purchase plan - I have about $1400 in my company stocks with no plan for them at the moment.
• I got a salary top-up when I went on maternity leave. My employer covered my 1 week EI waiting period and topped up to 100% salary for 11 weeks. The rest of the time I was off I was getting $1158 biweekly from EI.
• We qualify for the Climate Action Incentive from the federal government. This is about $1200/year.
• We get CCB for our kid of $140.61/month. This will increase to $273.74/month come July as our annual income was less in 2023 compared to 2022.

Net Worth: $164,484
Section Two: Income
Income Progression (Post College/Trade School):

• H has been in his field for roughly 8 years and his starting salary was about $37,000 ($19/hr). Two years ago, he took a $20/hour pay cut moving from a journeyman mechanic ($45/hr) to a service advisor ($25/hr). He’s since gotten a $10/hr pay increase from switching employers and switching roles/getting a raise. H now makes $72,800 not including any overtime, which he does get fairly regularly.
• I've been working in my field for 8 years, and my starting salary was about $41,000. I have not changed careers, but I have changed employers. I got two raises when at my first job post-college from $20/hr (41,000) to $23/hr ($47,800) to $30/hr ($62,400). When I started at my current employer in 2018 I was offered $78,000 annually, plus moving benefits (approx $2000). I’ve consistently gotten a 2-5% raise every year (except this year - but I did get a raise 2 weeks before going on leave) or have gotten promoted and am now making $92,600 before bonuses. I get two bonuses a year, one is based on company performance and has been $0 to $10,000. My other bonus is performance-based and has been anywhere from $1200 to $4000. I got both bonuses while on maternity leave, the company performance one was cut in half based on hours worked. I also had to pay back EI because of my bonus income.

Main Job Monthly Take-Home:
Mine: $4768.90 (two paycheck months)

• My monthly deductions include ESPP $213.60, DCPP matching $213.60, social club $5, flex benefits $26, plus taxes $701.27, CPP $203.97 and EI $59.14. In September I usually have an increase in my monthly take home as my CPP/EI is maxed out, but this might not happen this year as my RTW date was the end of April.

H: $3687.28

• H gets an advance on the 15th of $1000 and at the end of the month gets the rest of his pay. His end-of-the-month pay has ranged from $2600 to $3900 already this year because of illness, time off and short months.
• H’s deductions include taxes $623.25, EI $78.23, CPP $263.07, and $61.10 of HCP, but we’re not 100% sure what the HCP is cause he declined his benefits. This reminds me he should talk to payroll and see what’s up with that. He hits his 1st anniversary in August so we’ll see if he ends up maxing out CPP/EI in September or so.

Side Gig Monthly Take-Home:

• I craft and go to some markets and things, but don’t make much after counting all my costs. If I didn’t sell things I made, I’d have no room for craft storage!
• I am working on a custom quilt that when finished will bring in $275.

Any Other Monthly Income Here:

• As said above, we qualify for the CAI and CCB. CCB is $140/month currently and CAI is $400 quarterly.
• I get $500/year from my benefits to spend wherever and however I want. So far this year I’ve spent it on clothes and hiking boots. I have $190 left.

Section Three: Expenses

• Mortgage: $950 bi-weekly - $1900/month on 2 pay period months.
• Property Taxes: Sinking fund of $185/biweekly (we pay this annually in June. It is $2250 this year, last year was $1950).
• Home Insurance: $1640 annually. We pay this in full in July. I expect it to increase this year, but I’m unsure how much.
• Retirement Contribution: In addition to pre-tax contributions above, starting in August, biweekly contributions will be $377 to H’s TFSA and $226 to mine. H’s is more as I have my DCPP and when H’s total is closer to even or maxed out, I’ll max out mine.
• Savings Contribution: $200/biweekly starting in July, we also will have a home maintenance fund and will save $425/month.
• Debt Payments: LOC minimum is $130/month. We pay anywhere from $200 to $2000/month. This will increase come August, and the LOC will be paid off in May 2025. Both CCs should be paid off by September.
• Donations: $20/month to the animal shelter, and $20/month to SOS, I also volunteer at least 5-15 hours a month to a local sports group and to the foundation my MIL set up after my BIL passed. I sit on the board for both non-profits. We also randomly donate money to other things, or go in on 50/50 raffles different nonprofits have.
• Utilities: In the winter $600/month, the summer around $300/month. Gas and electricity combined. I live somewhere where it hits -40C and +40C depending on the time of the year.
• Garbage Rental: $40/month, $120/month when we get it dumped - approximately every 4 months. We live on an acreage and instead of carting garbage bags to work every week or going to the dump, we rent a dumpster for the driveway and call to have it dumped when it's full.
• Septic System Inspection/Cleaning: $400/year
• Internet: $105/month for unlimited fibre optic.
• Cellphone: $70/month for H. I have a work phone at no charge.
• Subscriptions: Amazon Prime $99/year, Spotify $11.54/month, Patreon $10.50/month (Money Feels <3), PlayStation Plus $32/quarter, Kindle Unlimited $10/month, Crunchyroll $9.99/month ($60.95/month total)
• Pet expenses: Roughly $100/month for food and litter for our two cats. Plus $400/year for an annual checkup. This will go up some as they age and probably have to have dental cleanings done.
• Car Insurance/Registration: No payments we own both vehicles outright. Insurance is $1500/year for both vehicles, we pay this in May/July. H spends around $300/month on gas as we live 30 min out of town. I have a work truck so I have no commuting costs. Annually we spend $160 on registration. AMA is 262.50 annually in July.
• Paid Hobbies: Don’t have fixed costs for these right now as we cut them out while I was on maternity leave. In January though, we’ll each get $100-200/month for hobbies.
• Daycare: $900/month ($450 the 1st and 15th). This is slightly more expensive than some others we found and does not qualify for subsidy or grants, but L loves her day home and the caretaker is great.
• Life/Disability Insurance: $125/month for both of us. This is $500K each for life and $100K each for critical illness.
• Food: Roughly $800/month in groceries and I’m not sure about eating out. Since going back to work a month ago life has been hectic so we’re spending more than usual on eating out/convenient foods. H has ADHD and forgets his lunch at home or in the car every day which is a waste, so he buys lunch either at the nearby grocery store or restaurants. I sometimes pack leftovers and sometimes go get food. I’ve been trying to get freezer meals and leave them at the office so I don’t have to pack things back and forth and we haven’t been making meals with leftovers.
• L’s Baby Supplies: $75/month? We have to buy diapers and wipes monthly pretty much.
• House Cleaners: This is an expense we had before H took his pay cut, and we’ve been slowly putting it back in the budget on and off. Roughly $200/clean which happens sporadically as the house is a mess and there is no time for two working parents to clean with an 11-month-old butt scooting everywhere. She always manages to find floor snacks
• Family: We send my sister-in-law money on a fairly regular basis, anywhere from $20-$100. She always pays us back, but we treat this as a write-off in case she doesn’t.

—
Day 1 - Friday
2 am - L wakes up and I get her back down 3 times before 3 am. At 3, H takes her out of the room to burn some energy before they both come back to bed roughly an hour later. Thanks, L. Thank you, H I was getting pretty frustrated with our darling child.
6:30 am - The first alarm goes off and I grab L for a cuddle and morning nursing session. Once she’s done, she rolls around and tries to climb both of us to get our phones before we all get out of bed at 7. Today is a PJ movie day at daycare so we don’t bother dressing her only changing the diaper and then H and L are out the door by 7:15. I leave for work at about 7:45 after doing some putting around.
8:15 am - I get to work and my first stop is the coffee machine. I get back to my office after talking to a few coworkers about our social club golf event next weekend. I see that an industry-specific mentor cohort program is open for applications so I find my most recent resume (2021!) and do a major update before applying. This year one of my goals is to work on leadership skills and mentoring so why not apply?
9 am - I had a hard time finding a bra this morning so I go online and purchase two new ones from the local bra-tique for pickup. My total is $170 after my 10% discount for signing up for their email list. This money is coming from my $500 annual work benefit for whatever I want and I now have $20 left. I eat my breakfast at my desk - yoghurt and homemade granola today.
11 am - I have a webinar on caribou to attend so I log into Zoom and while it's loading, pull up our cashflow forecaster to get the payday finances done before the weekend. $1750 to H’s cc to cover some overspending/vehicle expenses, $100 to the LOC, $373.10 for utilities, and $450 for daycare. Total is $2673.10 I’m not sure if I should include the bills in the daily writeups, but ah well. Day 1 spending is off to a great start.
1 pm - I get the notification that my bras are ready for pickup. Woohoo! I get new bras for the weekend! I send $50 to H’s TFSA once I confirm the bank account is connected.
2:30 pm - Eating lunch now as breakfast was so late. Freezer butter chicken with broccoli. I only have 1 more freezer meal at work so I make a note to restock.
3:30 pm - I work on some cycle times for the log haul for this coming logging season. It takes me a few minutes to remember exactly what I’m doing and how to do it. I am super glad I came back to work at the end of April as I get 3-ish months of slow time to get back into the swing of things before work starts to pick up.
4 pm - I am struggling to do any more than format my Excel sheets so I figure it’s time to pack it up and head home.
4:30 pm - After picking up my bras, I go to Once Upon A Child for some cheap baby clothes. L is in between sizes and we somehow managed to misplace all her more summery sleepwear so I’ve been grabbing a few here and there. OUAC has a sale on, 5 sleepers for $15 so I grab 5 of those and 4 other onesies for summer. We have a family photoshoot on Canada Day and I’ve been hunting for something that’ll match L’s ribbon skirt. $30.45
5 pm - I stop at the store to check the mail and grab a 12-pack of mixed tequila smashes. $37.55
5:30 pm - H calls. He’s off work and headed to get L. I pull burgers and fries out of the freezer, start up the BBQ and get the air fryer going.
6:05 pm - H and L arrive home in perfect time as the burgers and fries just finished cooking. I have an open Pineapple Tequila Smash and I hand H one to drink with supper too. L also has a veggie pouch with the burgers and fries.
7:20 pm - L is in bed nursing to sleep after her bath while H preps episode 4 of Obi-Wan Kenobi for us to watch. We watched it when it was first coming out, but he saw the discs at Walmart last week and figured to grab them. We thought we hadn’t seen all the episodes, but so far we’re 3:3 so we might’ve seen them all.
7:40 pm - L is down and out and I sneak out of the bedroom. I start a load of laundry and find the two bras I couldn’t this morning and handwash them. I sit down with H and we watch some Obi-Wan Kenobi.
10 pm - I check my email and see one from a local photographer group I really like. I’ve done at least two shoots with all 3 of them separately before and they’ve now joined forces. I went to their open house yesterday and won 50% off a boudoir package in 2024. I’ve wanted to book in since they announced their group, so I go through their open spots and book for November. My initial deposit is $262.50.
10:30 pm - We finished the last 3 episodes and watched all previously except for the finale. Of course. It was pretty good, but near the end, I started to scroll on my phone more than pay attention to the show. I swap the laundry, shower and head to bed at 11 pm.
H’s spending Day 1: $7.54 for lunch, $267.58 on vehicle parts/oil change that we didn’t budget for. Normally we would’ve, but communication is kinda crappy atm, and I think that’s due to sleep deprivation.
Day 1 total: $775.62 spending + $50 to TFSA. Oof off to a spendy start for the pay period.
—
Day 2 - Saturday
2:40 am - L is awake again and not going back down. This time it’s my turn. It’s already been a not-great night, hopefully, this 2 am party time doesn't keep happening.
4 am - We go back to bed. Our internet is on autopay and the notification comes through for my credit card. $105
7:20 am - L is up for the day. I don’t want to get out of bed yet, so I cuddle H and L rolls around, tries to stand and almost deletes everything on my phone. Then she notices my boobs so it’s time for a quick nurse.
8 am - I run the coffee machine and get breakfast going. We’re having pancakes this morning. While they’re cooking I pop some milk in the frother to make a fancy coffee. TBD if I drink it while it’s still hot. I feed the cats their morning meal.
8:30 am - H gets up and I’m still cooking. He grabs a coffee and takes L into the living room so I don’t trip over her and the plastic container horde.
9:30 am - H plays some Baldurs Gate 3 and L watches while I sort through the laundry I did last night. I try to get dressed and none of my shorts fit anymore so off in the donation bag they go. It’ll be a summer of dresses I guess! I start another load of laundry.
9:50 am - L is ready for a nap. Just kidding she just wanted some boob instead. We go outside afterwards to get some morning sun. Hopefully, this will tire her out and she will go down for a nap later! She hasn’t been big on sleep since she was born and gets major FOMO so we have no semblance of a schedule on weekends.
10:45 am - I bring L back inside and change her into outfit #3 for the day. Her trike got rained on and she gets soaked when she sits in it. I switch the laundry over, start yet another load and then pass L to H so I can head to the store, fill the Jerry can with gas for the lawnmower and do the recycling. 20 L of gas is $32.78 and I grab two lime slushes for H and I ($5.19). It’s +20 already and gorgeous. Total $37.97
11:30 am - L is ready for a nap! By 11:50 she’s down and I head outside to mow some of the lawn. It’s usually a 4 hr job so I don’t think I’ll get it all done today.
1 pm - I head inside for lunch, we’re having tuna sandwiches. L napped for 20 min and I didn’t get more than half the lawn mowed. After lunch, we head into town to hang out with my friend K and her two kids. We met in college back in 2014 and have babies of a similar age so it’s always nice to go over and visit.
4:30 pm - We leave K’s house and I swing by Wendy’s for a cold coffee-type drink for the drive home. I try the chocolate frosty-cinno and it’s terrible. Should’ve just gone to Tim’s for an ice cap. $4.19
5:05 pm - L fell asleep on the drive home so I hang out in the car with the windows down for another 5-10 minutes before moving things inside. She wakes up and we head in. H picks a meal and starts making dinner. L is fussy and still tired so I nurse her and we hang out in the cool basement while H cooks. I sort through the laundry that finished off today.
6 pm - H is still cooking our dinner, I reheat leftover pasta for L. H runs her bath and I bath her. She’s still grumpy on and off so she’ll probably be going to bed right after this.
6:45 pm - H and I eat chicken wings and shrimp poppers. L has decided it’s not bedtime yet, I tried to put her down and she got a second wind instead.
9:30 pm - I work on the website for one of the non-profits I volunteer for once L goes to bed at 8. After I’m done, I head into the craft room and work on the custom rag quilt project. One row left to sew together, then to put the final 5 rows together, figure out my borders and start cutting all the edges! It’s not ‘due’ until mid-July but I’d rather get it done sooner and not have to rush. My SIL texts and asks to borrow $50 till Thursday, I send it over out of my spending.
11 pm - H and I both go to bed after some kitty snuggles
Day 2 total: $92.16 (not counting $105 for internet)
—
Day 3 - Sunday
7 am - L is awake and I nurse her a couple of times cause she can’t decide if she’s happy or not. It was a decent night, but she must still be tired from not napping much yesterday. It’s my day to sleep in so H takes her out of the room by 7:30.
9:30 am - I get up make some coffee and slowly start on breakfast
10:30 am - L and I are eating breakfast, I made scrambled eggs, fried up leftover sausage, tomato and she also has two crackers with cream cheese. H and I wrote up a grocery list before I sat down and he’s off to town to get groceries and fuel up the car before the work week starts. Usually, H and his best friend C have a grocery shopping bro-date every Sunday, but C and his family are out camping this weekend so H heads in alone.
11 am - L is ready for a nap. I put her down and fold her laundry and the house laundry, taking a few breaks to scroll Reddit or Facebook and drink more coffee.
12:30 pm - L woke up and is kinda grouchy so we have a dance party to elicit baby giggles. H gets back from shopping and we put the groceries away, they cost $374.03. This is actually cheaper than the last few times we did a stock up so that’s nice! Groceries include ground beef, frozen chicken, wings, fries, cucumber, tomatoes, grapes, bananas, yoghurt, frozen lunches, macaroni, Ichiban, burgers, buttermilk, perogies, frozen fruit, frozen veggies, gravy mix, hollandaise mix, and more. We’ve been buying more convenience foods lately, but I do have 3 suppers planned for the week. He also grabbed me a big coffee mug for $6. He got gas for $60.83, and once we unload the groceries, he runs to the store for bacon, 2 jars of our favourite cowboy candy (pickled sweetened jalapeños), chips and a Starbucks frappe drink for $41.93. I make some sandwiches for lunch for tomorrow so I don’t have to scramble in the morning.
1 pm - Lunch is Ichiban noodles for H and I and baby charcuterie for L - strawberries, grapes, ham, cheese, and cucumber. We head outside afterwards to enjoy the weather, L is so close to walking, she pulls herself up onto everything right now. She has an after-lunch snack of mown grass and dandelions.
3 pm - We’re back inside and H puts on Die Hart 2. L goes down for her second nap at 4:15 and we finish the movie. I wake L up at 5:45 so she doesn’t sleep too long. When she wakes up she makes a face identical to her dad’s and it’s hilarious.
7 pm - H is cooking dinner, we’re having eggs Benny and bacon for supper. I prep L’s diaper bag for tomorrow and we run it out to the car. I also put all my laundry away so the closet is ready for the week. H sits on the chair once we’re done dinner and both cats flock to him and spread themselves over his legs.
9:45 pm - I finish off piecing the quilt top and head downstairs to shower. L is getting tired too so as soon as I’m done we head to bed. H is not far behind us.
Daily 3 total: $482.79. This is pretty usual for a grocery shop day.
—
Day 4 - Monday
6:35 am - My alarm goes off. Can’t lay in bed today as I need to meet my coworkers at the office at 7:30 am. We’re doing a team bonding mountain hike and it’s a 2.5 hrs drive away. I grab a banana, toast a bagel, add cream cheese and I’m out the door before 7 after filling up the cats' food.
7:30 am - I get to the office, fill up a water bottle, make a coffee and grab a few things from my office. Almost everyone is there, and we leave at 7:45
9:45 am - We’re there! I’ve seen 2 moose, 1 mule deer, 1 elk and almost hit 2 caribou on the highway already today! We start up the trailhead at about 10 am
1:00 pm - This mountain is much steeper than anticipated. A coworker and I decide at about 300 metres to the top that we shouldn’t push it. The last km has been extremely steep and we’ve hit our max. The rest of the group has gone ahead and summitted. We eat our lunch with a great view and start the trek back down.
3:30 pm - We’re back at the trucks! 11.2 km round trip. We hit the road to head home and stop at Dairy Queen for a celebratory ice cream. I spend $4.92 on a medium dip cone.
6 pm - Back at the office. I call H and let him know I’m headed home now and he suggests chicken wings for supper. I’m down for anything as long as I don’t have to cook.
7 pm - We all eat dinner. L has some veggie pouch, chicken wings/nuggets and leftover pasta. I am almost too tired to eat. One cat keeps trying to get L’s nuggets so he gets in trouble and shooed out of the dining room.
8:15 pm - I try to put L to bed and she goes down for a bit but decides ultimately that it’s not actually time for bed.
8:40 pm - I go and have a hot, hot shower, my muscles are sore and tomorrow might not be fun. L and H party in the TV area, she’s pulling herself up onto everything and trying to crawl up the couch. Not sure where she got this energy from! One of our cats comes for some aggressive cuddles and pets and H puts his dirty t-shirt on the chair for him. Our cat loves dirty laundry it’s hilarious.
9:20 pm - Time for bed for everyone. Hope tonight is a good night and we all can get some rest.
Day 4 Total: $4.92 (this would have been covered by one of the superintendents but a few people got ahead of her in line so she couldn’t pay for us all). My card is also charged by the garbage disposal company for the dumpster ($40.43 - counted in the bills above).
H didn’t spend any money today.
—
Day 5 - Tuesday
7 am - The first alarm went off at 6:30, but we are all tired and don’t want to wake up. I nurse L for a bit then we get up at 7. I’m pretty sore this morning so I’m not moving too fast. Get her dressed and H and L leave by 7:10. H fed the cats this morning so I don’t have to.
7:30 am - I forgot to pay H’s other cc and it’s due in 4 days so I pay it off now - $93.80 (random Amazon purchases and my KU). I pull some chicken out of the freezer to defrost and make my breakfast of homemade granola, hemp hearts and yoghurt. I leave the house around 7:45 to head to work.
8:20 am - I get to the office and immediately get asked some questions about blocks we have slated for this Fall/Winter. I’m not 100% sure of the answer and have to double-check with my boss. I grab a coffee and chat with the head boss before my boss arrives. I clarify what I need and relay the info back to my coworkers.
9:30 am - I eat my breakfast while I scroll through online courses offered by my company. I got an email yesterday of one I’m supposed to take so I book into that.
11 am - I book H and myself massages, 2 each - one this month and one next month.
12:30 pm - I took a long time to eat breakfast so I’m not quite hungry yet. I grab my running shoes from the truck and take a slow walk on the elliptical to help my sore muscles. This morning hasn’t been too busy, but I’m having a hard time starting my next big task (cycle time calculations) so hopefully the slow walk helps some.
1:30 pm - I’m back at my desk and diving into cycle time calculations. H grabs KFC for lunch $24.12
2 pm - Lunch time, I’m having a leftover sandwich from yesterday, a grapefruit cup, grapes and strawberries. I also grab a chai with milk from the coffee machine. I eat while I plug away at the cycle times.
3:45 pm - I finish off one section of cycle times and my brain has had enough. I go fill my water bottle and chat with a few coworkers. At 4:15 pm someone comes by to sign a few cheques I asked for and I leave the office at 4:30 pm
4:40 pm - H grabbed buttermilk instead of heavy cream and I need it for supper tonight so I swing by the grocery store. Then, I head out of town to a colleague’s house to drop off one of the cheques. $4.95
5:15 pm - I check the mail, get home and start cooking. We’re having Skillet Dijon Chicken with Asparagus and Mushrooms for supper. I also make some macaroni for a side. H and L get home about 5:45 to the cats waiting at the door.
6:20 pm - Supper is served! It is delicious. L and H aren’t fans of the asparagus, but the chicken, macaroni and sauce are perfection! H also riggs up a tie to L’s water bottle so it doesn’t hit the ground every 30 seconds. We fed the cats at the same time and they’re not begging for food quite so much tonight.
6:50 pm - We’re finished supper, H cleans up and I bath L.
7:30 pm - H calls my/our best friend J via FaceTime and we chat with her and her daughter R for a few minutes. L tried to steal the phone and gets mad when we don’t let her. J’s daughter requests a morning call so I promise to call at 7 am. J doesn’t think R will be awake yet so we’ll see!
8 pm - L is tired and ready to go to sleep. I put her down, have a hot bath, throw in some epsom salts, and read a bit on my KU.
9:40 pm - Bedtime!
Day 5 Total: $112.17 (removed $10 for my KU - counted in subscriptions)
—
Day 6 - Wednesday
7 am - I nurse L, she had a weird wake-up last night so we’re tossing the idea of taking her into daycare today. I’ll probably take her in a bit later and H will take his truck so if I have to WFH for the afternoon I can. Try calling J and R and there is no response - I am not surprised.
7:45 am - L and I leave the house, she’s not coughing much and doesn’t have a fever or anything so she’s good to go to daycare today
8:15 am - I drop L off at daycare
8:30 am - I get to the office. I talk with a few coworkers and ask our admin if my new phone has been dropped off yet.
9 am - My new phone is here! Now to start the setup process, everything takes forever with all the authentication apps we need. I also go through all my iCloud photos and organize/save them to my OneDrive while the phone is getting set up.
12:30 pm - I think the phone is finally done. Now to eat some lunch, I’m having leftovers from 2 nights ago - chicken nuggets, strawberries, grapes and a Cherry Bubly.
1:30 pm - H goes to a food truck for lunch. $35.01. This includes the tip.
3 pm - I had some more phone set-up to do. Might be finished now? Get an email about the cats’ annual checkups and vaccinations so I book their appointments for August.
4 pm - SIL paid me back the $50, plus another $50 she’d borrowed earlier. (+$100) I work on the photo garland for L’s first birthday for a bit.
5 pm - I haven’t gotten much done today beyond setting up my phone. I leave the office and pick up L at 5:20. I talk to her day home provider for about 15 min about how she’s been doing, etc.
6 pm - We get home! H has cooked supper already, so as soon as we get in the door we sit down to eat. Supper tonight is perogies and garlic bread. L also has a veggie pouch. H tells me the old vehicle was sold, and the buyers are doing a payment plan. We will get $300/month for the next 10 months. A lump sum would be nice, but H’s coworkers will handle all the paperwork so it’s no more work for us.
6:45 pm - Time for a bath! H cleans up supper, cleans the litter boxes (we have 3) and starts some laundry while I take L and get her cleaned up.
7 pm - All finished in the bath. We head downstairs and hang out until L is ready for sleep. I mostly scroll my phone and H plays on his Rog Ally. L climbs the couch and me and scoots around on the floor hunting for different treasures.
8:40 pm - L is ready for bed. I put her down and read some more KU
10 pm - H and I head to bed. I washed and dried a baby quilt to bring to work in the morning for a coworker.
Day 6 Total: $35.01 for H’s lunch. I spend $0, and ‘make’ $100
—
Day 7 - Thursday
6:35 am - The first alarm goes off. It’s a new one on the phone and nice to wake up to! L doesn’t want to wake up and she grumbles and rolls around.
7 am - We all get out of bed. I get L dressed while H packs up what he needs for the day. I get her milk together and they’re out the door by 7:15
7:50 am - I leave the house. After H and L left, I did the dishes and packed up my stuff for the day. Made a smoothie for breakfast (yoghurt, flax seed, orange, banana, rhubarb jam, frozen berries, watermelon, cranberry juice and milk) and there’s lots left over so I pop that into the fridge for tomorrow. I need gas in the work truck, so I head there before going to the office. I have a fuel card so I don’t spend any $ on fuel.
8:30 am - Get to the office and it’s time to make a coffee. I have some things to get done before my webinar at 11 am.
9 am - I show the quilt to my coworker, she loves it and buys it! (+$100)
11 am - Oops. I didn’t get the login link earlier and don’t know who to contact to get it so no webinar for me. I scroll Reddit and my socials and work a bit more on my cycle times. I snack on some grapes and drink another coffee.
1 pm - Lunch time! I’m having leftover skillet Dijon chicken and macaroni. It is still delicious, that recipe is going into the rotation for sure! H goes to McDonalds for lunch and spends $35.66. He bought a coworker lunch as well, she was having a rough day.
2 pm - Chat with a few coworkers about different projects/things we need to think of for this next year.
3 pm - I have an afternoon pick-me-up snack of Brookside pomegranate-flavoured chocolate and a ginger ale.
4:30 pm - I’m tired and don’t feel like doing anything else. I leave the office and call H to see what we should do for supper. We decide on potstickers and veggies, I’ll start cooking when I get home. I stop and check the mail on my way home too.
5:45 pm - H and L arrive home. I take L into the spare room and we call my mum and grandma for a video chat. L rolls around the bed and shows off how she’s almost standing!
6:10 pm - We sit down to eat, L isn’t that interested in either the potstickers or veggies so we pull out some leftover macaroni and she goes to town on that.
7 pm - Bath time! H cleans up and does some more laundry. It just seems to never end.
7:30 pm - Bedtime for L. I read some of my book while I put her down.
8:30 pm - SIL texts again to borrow $50. I send it over out of my spending. I get all of the borders cut for the custom quilt.
9 pm - H has SING on so I sit down to watch it, he’s also playing his Rog Aloy and I’m reading some more of my book.
10 pm - We go to bed.
Day 7 Total: $35.66 for H’s lunch. I spend $50, and ‘make’ $100
—
Weekly Expenses:

• Food + Drink: 575.09
• Fun/Entertainment: $0
• Home + Health: $38.78 (includes gas for lawn mower)
• Clothes + Beauty: $200.45
• Transport/Vehicle Expenses: $328.41
• Other: $496.30 (CC payment, photoshoot, TFSA and $ to SIL)

Total Spending: $1639.03
Reflection:

• This was a more expensive week for sure. I don’t usually spend money on clothes and the photo shoot deposit was a random impulsive spend. The vehicle expenses were also a bit different, usually, they’re budgeted for but not this time.
• Honestly surprised we didn’t order dinner at least once this week - usually we do!
• Events-wise, it was a typical week except for the mountain hike, those are not part of my usual work day. This time of year is slow and mostly involves prep for the coming winter.
• This was a fun experiment to write! I did have to cut some things as my word count kept increasing and I didn’t want it to be too long - is this too long even still? Too much detail on baby routines?

whenever i smell real, normal, well-seasoned food i feel like a vampire trying to fight the urge to drink human blood. oh my god. i’ve been eating really REALLY low fodmap (basically BRAT diet + eggs + chicken + a few veggies) for over a month now, and i’m too terrified to eat anything normal ever again (because a month ago i had either the most horrendous flare up of my life or a stomach bug of some kind that almost hospitalised me, it’s left me so traumatised i have nightmares and panic attacks and flashbacks). but oh my god, i just want to cry. my girlfriend just toasted some toaster waffles for herself and i almost burst into tears. i’m so fucking sick of eating bland food but at the same time i don’t want to make myself sick, so here i am. hungry? have a banana. thirsty? have water. dinner time? mashed potato or white rice, bitch, that’s all you’re getting. i’m gonna scream. i’m gonna go ballistic. i live in the city and walk past pizzerias serving garlic bread and pizza with hot pepperoni or goats cheese or spinach or caramelised onion, and bakeries with fresh bread and cream cakes and pastries with nuts and berries and marzipan, cafes blasting out the scent of rich, smooth espresso and frothy milk and caramel, i see people eating hot dogs, caesar salad, gelato, curry, waffles, fresh fruit, smoothies, bubble tea….i just want to scream and scream and SCREAMMMM. i couldn’t even eat a slice of my girlfriend’s birthday cake when it was her birthday a few days ago, i sat there eating white rice and sweet potato while all my friends shared pizza and homemade oreo cake and mango juice and beer and popcorn. is there some kind of hypnosis i can do to make me hate food? i straight up feel like i’m turning into a werewolf. every time i think about chocolate chip cookies, fresh and warm and gooey from the oven, i want to put my goddamn HEAD in the oven. this is not living. i have no idea what to do, and i’m losing my mind. whatever witch put this curse on me, please break the spell, you win, and i’m sorry.

ABOUT

Social media personality and TikTok content creator who is best known for her self-titled account. She shares a wide assortment of conversational vlogs about her children's struggles, financial problems, her ex-husband, and more.

BEFORE FAME

She began her TikTok career by making dance and vegan lifestyle content.

TRIVIA

She launched a GoFund Me to help offset her family's financial woes. In May of 2024, she made a TikTok about her child being robbed. The video went viral with more than 3 million views in less than a week. She has more than 750,000 fans.

FAMILY LIFE

Her real name is Adrielle Sigler.

ASSOCIATED WITH

Both she and That Vegan Teacher found fame on social media.

POPULARITY

Most Popular#12840 ABOUT
Social media personality and TikTok content creator who is best known for her self-titled account. She shares a wide assortment of conversational vlogs about her children's struggles, financial problems, her ex-husband, and more.

BEFORE FAME

She began her TikTok career by making dance and vegan lifestyle content.

TRIVIA

She launched a GoFund Me to help offset her family's financial woes. In May of 2024, she made a TikTok about her child being robbed. The video went viral with more than 3 million views in less than a week. She has more than 750,000 fans.

FAMILY LIFE

Her real name is Adrielle Sigler.

ASSOCIATED WITH

Both she and That Vegan Teacher found fame on social media.

POPULARITY

Most Popular#12840

TLDR:
I think Trump will die right before the sun is darkened, the trumpet sounds, the veil is torn, Jesus appears in the sky, the earth shakes, the tombs open, and the bride's veil is removed, giving her a new, heavenly, immortal body.
The world will see the light and hear the trumpet, but they will not see Jesus or understand His voice.
Then the bride will preach to the dead until she is taken to heaven on the third day.
Then Trump will reappear with his fatal wound healed, and the world will wonder after the beast.
~
Longer explanation:

Revelation 1:1 KJV — The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave unto him, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant John

In Greek, the APOCALYPSE of Jesus Christ
The REVEALING
The UNVEILING
Sound familiar?

Matthew 27:51 NASB20 — And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split.

In the TLDR, I simply mapped the coming resurrection/transformation and rapture of His bride onto the sequence of events in Matthew 27, with the added Trump wound.
(I had a dream of Trump leaving the stage before Jesus appeared and took me to another dimension)
I think the "last trump" is really Revelation 1:10:

Revelation 1:10 NIV — On the Lord’s Day I was in the Spirit, and I heard behind me a loud voice like a trumpet

G110 = athanasia/immortality https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g110/kjv/t0-1/
root word of G110 = G2288 = thanatos/death (text Trump to 88022) https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g2288/kjv/t0-1/
After the trumpet we see Jesus:

Revelation 1:12-13 NIV — I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest.

And John told us:

1 John 3:2 NIV — ... when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.

Hinting at the resurrection/transformation when Jesus tears the veil, before the bride is called up to heaven on the third day:

Revelation 4:1 NIV — After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, “Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this.”

Like Paul, we're on our way to Damascus.
The people with Paul saw the light, but did not see Jesus or understand what He said:

Acts 9:7 NIV — The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone.
Acts 22:9 NIV — My companions saw the light, but they did not understand the voice of him who was speaking to me.

I do not think it is a coincidence that H369 is used in Isaiah 17 about Damascus, and Genesis 5:24 where Enoch was "not found":
https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/h369/kjv/wlc/0-1/
The darkness before Jesus gives up His spirit is similar to the 3 days of darkness before the Exodus, when the Israelites had light (H216) in their homes. I think the bride will be the light of the world and likely preach to the left behind, like the gospel was preached to the dead, before she is taken up on the third day:

1 Peter 4:6 NIV — For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to human standards in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

I think we should all be ready on Shavuot in particular, as everything is lining up perfectly.
Shavuot is Pentecost, the day the church began, and would be a perfect way to wake up the Jewish people, and let them know that Jesus is Lord, when many Christians have disappeared.
Shavuot, when Moses received the Torah, also matches the most famous rapture passage, 1 Thessalonians 4:16-17, almost perfectly:

1 Thessalonians 4:16-17 NASB20 — For the Lord Himself will DESCEND from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the TRUMPET of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who remain, will be CAUGHT UP together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord.
Exodus 19:19-20 NIV — As the sound of the TRUMPET grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him. The LORD DESCENDED to the top of Mount Sinai and called Moses to the top of the mountain. So Moses WENT UP

Exodus 34 mentions Shavuot, and also describes Moses' face glowing after removing his veil to speak with the Lord. Moses' name means "drawn from the water".
If Trump dies 6/11, he could rise on 6/13,

Revelation 13:6 NIV — It opened its mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven.

which is 6/14 in Israel, his 78th birthday.
Right now he is 77 years old. Twin 7s, twin Trumps. Turning 78 = 7 -> 8th king of Revelation 17.
John 14:6 the way, truth, life
June 6/14 sin, lies and death
If anyone is left behind, I have hope there will be an even bigger harvest/rapture mid-trib with the two witnesses - the manchild of Revelation 12:5.

So Riya, one of the main characters in DC season 2 and returne for AS
the character got major changed thruout her run of the show and I'm not sure about it
so let's begin with the start
Riya introduced in the beginning of season 2 is a nice girl. She starred in Bollywood movies, moved to USA (or Canada... I'm not sure XD) to become actress in Hollywood, and she decided to use the show as a first platform to become famous
however, Riya feels alone but she begin friendship with Connor. both Riya and Connor feel like the outcast of the team. Connor for being older than the others, and Riya for coming from another place. In episode 3 she tells Connor she actually had a birthday on the show but since nobody really knows her, she kept this to herself. when Connor quit to save other teammates, he gives Riya a birthday present: perfume
when Riya believed she is going to be alone again (especially now with Tess-Hunter-Ally love trinalge and the alliance between Hunter, Tess and Yul). Until she get the oppurntity to swap between the teams. so she decided to trade Yul, someone she (and maybe everybody else) hates in favor of Rosa.
Rosa, being friendly towards everyone, became Riya's new friend and the two get along very well and becoming best friend. when the merge begins, Lake join to their friendship
however, Riya begin to have her doubts when it turns out that Rosa found the immunity idol but she did not tell her until the merge begin and Lake was free from her team. from Riya's POV, it seems like she think that Rosa sees her as the "secondary friend", a thing that led her to not tell Lake that the other campers are targeting her. some can say it's an action of being mean or envy, but I think it comes from a place of insecurity
later on, Karol returns and she fed up Riya about dirty gameplay. Rosa not telling her about the idol + Karol influence (which is comes from a place of revenge on James and Aiden) + Aiden (one of the friendliest campers left) put the spider on Oliver + her own insecurities, really change Riya's mind about how the game should go and maybe to win and get recodngistion she need to play dirty
so slowly slowly we see her going to this path and it helps her. her mean behaviour helps her and she is managed to get to the final
in the finale, while she is preparing to the finale, she spray the perfume on her and she get flashbacks of Connor, Rosa and Lake, the people who were her friends and she has a remorseful face. like deep down, she knows that she is not doing good thing that deep down, this is not the real her
however, she is managed to ignore those feeling and doing very well in the challenge until the final moment. In the second to last part of the finale, without Connor to help her, she lost in the underwater cave.
now sure this is a scary situation, but I feel like this is far from being in a scary place. it's more like her problems of being alone, became literla and she really was alone without anybody. the thing that concerned her in the beginning of the season happened in reality. However, Rosa decided ot help her. but sadly for her, she still lose
her losing moment, it's like she snapped. she realize that eventually her worn doing didn ot worth it. her insicurities, pressure and despite just showed her flaws
when season 2 ends, it feels like Riya learn her lesson, she remores for the bad stuff she did and she is going to do better in the future and maybe doing things right with the people she hurt
but than comes DCAS and sadly, it was all thrown out of the window
in this season, Riya behaves like season finale never happened, or worse: she behave like there is a second ending and DCAS is taking place in her ending. Riya pretty much lost everything she used to have. She lost her nice side from most of season 2. and the strategic side of the last several episodes of season 2, were replaced by being simply bitch. it feels like she is not remote of the thing that she has done. season 2 ends with her apologizing Connor and hugging him while she is crying. and in season 3 she treats him like a shit. we can say "it's the persona she is wearing for the game" but isn't wearing a persona wasn't her lesson from season 2?
and to be honest, it really sucks because in season 2 they have an interesting concept of a character. unlike Julia or Scarlett who just faked their good nature, Riya really was good and she became mean due to the pressure of the game and her own inicusurities.
and the writer, they had an interesting character. in season 3 they easily could use Riya to show how she can balance strategy with being decent human being. but the writers simply said "screw it" and turned Riya to an another typical Total Drama mean girl, a one who can sit in the same seat with Heather, Courtney, Amy or Julia
sorry about this rant, it's just upset me to see a character I really liked in season 2 just being nerfed

TLDR: American Airlines sent my bag to Dallas after I canceled my flight, leaving me stranded in the airport for 50 hours. They showed no empathy and claimed I needed to cancel my bag separately, acting like sending an unattended bag was normal procedure.
___________
May was such a horrible month for me. I found out that I had to move to a new apartment before June (another whole damn story), I ended up getting a flare up of tendonitis in my wrists and ankles due to moving to an apartment that was 4 floors up (I was stair climbing for daaaays), work was a nightmare for some reason this month, and the one thing that kept me going was thinking that I was going to go away on vacation to Texas/Oklahoma and cross those states off my bucket list that I'm working off of since I want to see all 50 states before I'm 50 years old.
It was going to be my second time flying solo. The first time I took Frontier which was good enough but pretty basic with its amenities. American Airlines seemed like a step up from them. I was planning to see San Antonio, Austin, Dallas, Oklahoma. I was going to Jensen Ackles' brewery "Family Business", Voltaire's concert on Friday night in Austin and about 30 other places on my never-ended itinerary. Despite the nonsense I had been dealing with all month in May, I was counting down the days till I could skip town and head off to Texas to see a man about a concert.
I always fly out of Raleigh instead of Richmond, due to Raleigh having cheaper flights and more direct flights than Richmond. It's an easy enough 2 hour drive.
However, on the way down to Raleigh though, my trip started with a bump-- literally. My tire popped in Macklenburg County in Virginia. At first I didn't even know where I was but the secretary at what Google said was the closest tire place helped me figure out my coordinates as I panicked on the side of the road. I was certain I was going to miss my flight, but she also did some math and said they could totally get me to my flight on time. I was a little frazzled when I got back on the road, but I checked my watch. It was a good thing I left early; I was still on schedule. Everything was gonna be fine. I just had to make it to the airport on my new donut of a tire and everything would be smooth sailing. No trip ever goes without a few bumps on the road, I reminded myself-- superstitiously, I believed getting the trip's one flaw out of the way early would mean that the rest of the trip would run great.
I got my first txt message while driving the last hour there that my flight was delayed a bit. So I was even more ahead of schedule despite the flat tire.
Then I had to catch the bus from the economy parking lot, wherein I must have looked nervous because the nice couple on the bus asked me if I was running late. I told them about the tire and said my flight was at 2:45. They said I would make it there in no time.
"Just relax, it's gonna be a great trip!" the woman said and smiled at me. I believed her and settled my nerves a bit. They even helped me figure out what terminal to get off at when I didn't know when to get off the bus.
Then, when I got into the airport, the lady helping at the ticketing electronic kiosks asked me to volunteer to check my bag. She said that they were asking for volunteers now, but it would probably be mandatory later on, just based on where I was sitting in the plane and the fact that they didn't have enough overhead compartments in that area of the plane. I was still a bit frazzled from the mess with my tire and with my tendonitis still aggravating my wrist and my ankles, I just said sure, whatever, I volunteer as tribute. I'll help out and take one for the team. Famous last words. I realized later on that if the airports are offering something for free, it's like a faerie offering you food -- DO NOT TAKE IT.
But I do remember that I had also just gotten an email from American Airlines about there being numerous delays that day and flight plans maybe changing a lot. I asked the lady at the kiosk what would happen with my luggage if the flight was cancelled and how I could get it back in that event. She said, "No, no, no, it's fine, it's only delayed right now, you're fine."
THIS-- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- IS WHAT IS KNOWN AS FORESHADOWING!
When I got to the baggage check-in, they only asked about anything fragile, perishable, breakable. In all the mix ups that had happened that morning, I was just happy to be dropping my bag off and not dealing with it anymore, and did not think to grab my keys out of it. Again, I was just trying to be helpful. So off my bag went, with my keys-- this again, is FORESHADOWING.
A few more TSA checkpoints and I WAS AT THE TERMINAL!!!! YAY!!!! FINALLY!!!!!
Considering all the moving bullsht in May, tendonitis flare up in wrists and ankles, flat tire, delayed flight, possible flight cancellation... Someone had switched on the EXTRA ADVENTURE setting on this trip. For hours it ended up being just lots of stress, waiting, delays, bumps in the plans and me hoping and praying I'd get to Texas that night. If anyone had known how to toggle that switch back to the default easy setting of vacationing, that would have been wonderful!
But I figured when I finally got to The Family Business Brewery, I needed to go find Dean Winchester and ask him for help on lifting this trip's curse. At least it was themed well for a Supernatural trip.
I got to the airport around noon - Flight 2381 - 2:45 but changed to 3:54. Then the flight ended up getting delayed another two hours. Then there was talk that it wouldn't fly at all. I was getting frustrated and kept repeating in my head, "I. Just. Want. To. Be. On. The. Plane. In. The. Air!!!"
And then it got delayed five more times, from what little information I had at the time it was most likely due to the weather. Dallas had high winds and thunderstorms that day. If I ever got on the plane, I would be getting there in the middle of the night and still have the four hour drive to Airbnb in Austin, because I was flying to Dallas but starting my trip in Austin. I was so stressed I ended up going for a terminal pub crawl.
And then the news came that all flights were cancelled to Dallas for the rest of the day. I had no place to sleep in Raleigh. They wanted to reroute me to Austin but my rental car was still up in Dallas so I would have been stranded in Austin once I landed, they also said since it was a connecting flight in Charlotte with only a very minimal window of time to get off one flight and get on another, if I went with that option I would have to really hope everything went exactly as scheduled or I would be stranded in Charlotte. And also, when the person I called from the airline was checking the flights, they were all booked to Austin anyway because I think a lot of people rerouted to there. We finally settled on getting me on the very early 5:20am flight on Friday morning to Dallas but I was going to have to stay at the airport all night until that flight. I told myself it was fine, I could just sleep on the plane for a few hours.
One of the two Airbnbs for that week insisted I cancel my reservation because he didn't want to take my money after all of this. He had been talking to me throughout all the delays and I think he just felt pity for me at that point. It wasn't even my idea to try to get the money back, but he said he felt so sorry for me that the airline had me stuck in the airport all night.
Suddenly, a friend I knew through Facebook but I don't think I've ever really met in real life reminded me he lived in Raleigh. Joseph said I could sleep at his place Thursday night after he read about my trouble at the airport on my Facebook and I was more than grateful for his assistance.
But when I walked back to my car to drive over to him, I realized my car keys were in my checked luggage. God damn it. This day would just not quit with the bad luck. I was so exhausted, I just layed in the parking lot next to my car exasperated, feeling like Barbie in the Barbie movie where she's just laying on the ground, Jesus take the wheel, I'm done.
I finally asked him if he could pick me up instead. He said to meet him back at the terminal. So I caught a bus back to the terminal. I thought about getting my keys from my checked luggage so he wouldn't have to drive over (though he said it was only a 5 minute drive and he was fine doing it), but then I decided the bag was safe enough. I didn't want to bother the airline staff when I was going to have to recheck it at 3am for the 5:20 flight the next morning anyway. It was fine where it was -- I'd be back the next morning, grab the flight and keep the vacation going one way or another.
I slept over at Joseph's house that night. However, he said he was going camping that weekend and he was leaving the house on Friday morning and wouldn't be back until Sunday. So I could only stay there on Thursday night, which was fine. I wasn't sleeping in an airport like I thought I was going to have to do and I figured I would be on a plane the next morning anyway. Everything was just a little delayed, but it was fine, it'll be fine, EVERYTHING IS FINE. I felt like the dog sitting in the burning kitchen in that 'everything is fine' meme.
It was allll sooooooo adVENturoUS... whimpers...
Then, when I was laying in bed at around 10pm, I got an email saying that my 5:20 on Friday (AA 2605) was cancelled. They rebooked me for Saturday 5:20 (AA 2605), which made me think the weather in Dallas must be so bad that all the flights were cancelled on Friday. I figured that was the only reason they would rebook me a whole 24 hours later. But I was going to be missing the concert on Friday night, half the trip was over, I had no place to sleep on Friday night since Joseph would be on his camping trip. I just decided to call it and say I couldn't consent to the Saturday automatic change. I called to cancel. Customer service asked me if I wanted to fly on Saturday and I said there was just no way I was going to be able to do that, I was just not going at all now. Customer service said they would refund me the money for the flight, I just had to put it into the website when I get back home.
Then I ended up trying to recoup what money I could from all my rentals for the week. Overall, I lost a few hundred from nonrefundable stuff from Airbnb, Turo car rental -- I don't even want to know how much money I lost, I haven't counted yet.
The trip was obviously cursed. I was just going to have to head back home on a tire donut, no trip taken, pay my parking stub for the privilege of waiting through all this nonsense and vow NEVER to use American Airlines EVER again. Well, first I have to get back to the airport and pick up my checked luggage and pray they didn't lose it cause my car keys were in it.
Folks were starting to comment on my Facebook that the amount of issues with this trip felt a bit supernatural -- like, could some force in the universe be trying to keep me out of Dallas for my own sake -- lol, not sure but it definitely felt like my guardian angel kept putting hurdle after hurdle in front of me all month, trying to keep me out of Texas for my own good. I really wasn't happy, but I wasn't in crisis mode yet.
This had been the worst trip of my life. I lost hundreds on nonrefundable stuff, but I got back what I could already. I was so depressed, but what could I do but question why I choose the travel lifestyle in the first place.
At least my friend had a very nice bedroom I vacationed in... I took a few selfies of myself, imagining the Texas landscape behind me. Alas, no beautiful desert sunsets for me.
We decided to get a late start to the day and sleep in a bit because I figured there was no point in going to the airport at 5:20 (or 3:20 if the 'two hours early' thing applied) because if none of the flights were taking off the next day and I was just grabbing my bag and going home, I could at least take it slow.
Joseph dropped me off at the airport, we said goodbye and he headed off to his camping trip in the mountains.
When I got into the baggage claim area, I was already a bit upset and I forgot my manners a bit and got down to business right away. "So you have my bag, my flight got cancelled, I'm not going anymore, I need to know where to pick it up."
The black woman working there with bronze twists (I wish I had gotten the names of these people but it didn't occur to me at the time) starred me down, giving me a metric ton of side eye and drawled out, "Good morning to YOU too" in dripping sarcasm. She then took my ticket, looked for my bag and told me as if it was no big deal. "Your bag was sent to Dallas on the 7:45 plane."
I just blinked, not comprehending what I heard her say. "What do you MEAN it's in Dallas?!"
She didn't seem to have the time to deal with me panicking. She said cancelling my bag was up to me and I should have known to do that when I had called about my refund the night before. She looked at me like I was stupid for not knowing this. But who sends an unattended bag, alone, to a far away city when the person is not going there and there will be no one to pick it up. In what world is that a normal thing to do?
And so I began rocking back and forth, realizing my keys were in the bag. I had no way home. I was stuck there. I still couldn't believe it... THEY SENT MY BAG TO DALLAS!!!!!
"All this panicking that you're doing right now isn't helping," she just said, as if I was being a bother to them all. Okay, but when you're stranded at the airport and the bag with your keys is god knows where, I personally believe that is the perfect time to panic.
She said there SHOULD be a flight coming back with it today, but they didn't really know and couldn't be half-assed to find out. She just gave me a ticket with information on how to claim it if it ever did show up again.
If. my. car. keys. ever. did. show. up. again.
When I told my friends on Facebook about this, they were as confused as I was "up to you to cancel your bag????? I never heard that in my life!!"
And "my partner flies many times a year for business and says there is no such thing as cancelling your bags, and your bags should automatically be held if you are cancelled".
And joking about the utter absurdity of it: "Gosh, I can’t go to Texas, but there’s no reason why my luggage shouldn’t still get to go! It deserves a vacation!"
And "Cut to your bag in an airport bar, surrounded by people chanting 'Shots! Shots! Shots!'"
My. Bag. Had. Taken. Its. Own. Vacation.
They had room for my bag on the 7:45 but not me?!
Another friend commented on my Facebook with: "What airline is this? I have been flying for around 50 years and used to fly often for business I have never heard of having to cancel a bag. It is always done in conjunction with the ticket. Since the TSA took over i thought all language had to be associated with a passenger by regulation [....] I don’t know what kind of made up nonsense they told you but I have never heard of and can’t find anything about canceling a checked bag. It is on them for security reasons."
And yeah, isn't that a security risk? If I was a passenger, I sure wouldn't want an unattended bag flying alone -- what a great way to give someone an opportunity to set off a really explosive day. TSA is all about its checkpoints and unattended bags in the airport lounge, but get them on a plane unattended and its fair game.
Not sure what I was going to do then, and having had the super mean lady dismiss me because she didn't want to be bothered, I wandered the terminal, found a corner to go cry in and sat dumbfounded at what to do next. A nice security guard came over to me, asked me what was wrong and I told her everything.
She then said, "We'll figure this out. Let's go talk to Harry at the baggage claim. I know Harry. He's a good friend of mine. He'll figure this out!"
So off I went to go meet Harry!
From the start of our conversations, Harry was good people. Harry did some digging right away, finding out that the flight that my bag was supposedly on landed in about 2 hours from then. He told me I would get a text message from the airport that they had secured my bag. It would let me know what flight it will be coming back on. I just needed to be patient because it looked like I was going to be there for the next six hours at least. He said to come back around noon to get more information.
Whenever I went back for updates throughout the day, the lady with the bronze twists gave me this really snide pissed off look. On one occasion she even told me, "Move!" when I was standing in her way around the baggage conveyor belt. Like, I'm sorry that I forgot my manners for a moment there, and I didn't greet your highness with a good morning, but you have done absolutely nothing for me after stranding me in an airport all night. She hated me and I honestly couldn't figure out why.
The weather was just horrible in Dallas so they didn't know when there would be flights out or when I would get my bag back. They said that it looked like there would be a couple of flights coming back that day, but they were not entirely sure when with all the delays.
I waited around until noon (I couldn't even go in the terminal because I didn't have an active ticket so I just had to sit around the lobby), but then when no text came confirming they had my bag, I went over to them and they said that they have to help everybody else with the flight that just came in before they could help me out. I was freaking out by this point, just hoping they could at least tell me what flight my bag was planning on coming back on. Just a flight number. Anything!! I was already envisioning myself playing out Tom Hanks' part in The Terminal movie. I was absolutely stranded at the airport until I got that bag and my keys that were in it back. I had no idea what I was going to do.
Harry was eventually able to locate my bag. He gave me four different flights that it could come back on and sent a message over to Dallas to send it back asap. Depending on the weather, I have four chances to get it back by the end of the day.
Flight # and time: 1888 - 627pm 979 - 839pm 1605 - 1013pm (my birthday, lucky numbers for me) 542 - 1221am
Harry said it wasn't my fault as well. When he first figured out what happened, he was completely confused as to why they would ever do that. Because literally it makes no sense to send someone's luggage to a place that they are not going anymore.
"You're not going to Texas at all?" He asked.
"No. And I told them that when I called them last night. I told them I can't fly on Saturday. I have no place to stay tonight."
Not one of my friends had ever heard of a bag cancellation but that was the story half of the people working there were still going with, but even Harry said that didn't make sense. They were just making it up and trying to gaslight me into believing it. I was so tired of being lied to at that point, but at least Harry seemed to be on my side.
Half of the employees were acting like it was my fault that I didn't cancel the bag when I canceled the ticket. One even looked at me and said, "That was a really dumb move on your part, wasn't it?"
But when Harry looked at what had happened he just kind of sighed, rolled his eyes and said "I really wish people would check what they were doing before they put stuff on the plane" like he knew that what they had done was messed up. If it's my fault that this happened, then what did they have to check? And in what world does it make sense to fly a bag somewhere that someone isn't going? There is literally no reason why that would happen other than it was a mistake.
Harry mentioned that I was being "especially patient considering you've been here all day". But did I have much of a choice? But it did a lot to point out that I was being reasonable while everyone else I talked to all day continued to yell at me, act dismissive and roll their eyes when I asked for help.
Due to all the stress, the waiting, the confusion, the gaslighting and the exhaustion, I was just about losing it. Maybe the real trip was the mind we lost along the way ....
However, since I still had several hours of waiting for my bag left to go and I found out the Raleigh buses were free, I decided to go tour Raleigh as if I was in Texas. No amount of bullsh*t can stop Adventure Girl!
First stop - a burrito place my friend Sandra told me about! I might as well try the Tex Mex while I was in fake Texas. Pullen Park became the San Antonio Riverwalk. A spanish church was a stand-in for a spanish mission. The horses on the antique carousel? Well, obviously, Texas is known for its horses! I passed an Alamo car rental and I was pretty damn sure I was going to remember this Alamo -- and this entire nightmare of a trip!
When I got back to the airport, I talked to Harry again. No bag yet. The first flight and first chance was no dice. There were five other flights that night, with a new one added with connection in Charlotte. So the saga continued, but I kept track of the possible flights and times:
Flight - Time 979 - 8:39pm 522 - 10:10pm 1605 - 1013pm 1374 - 12:00am 542 - 12:21am
Harry said as long as none of the flights cancelled I had a good shot of at least getting it that night. He said Dallas didn't seem to be checking any of his messages though. I asked if there was a number I could call over there, but he said I had "a better chance of talking to the President of the United States" since Dallas was a utter mess that day, and possibly just because people at airlines are completely unreachable.
Harry seemed pissed that the folks who loaded my suitcase weren't paying attention to what they were doing. He gave me a phone number to call so I could check back in without having to go down to baggage claim every time, but there was not much point in leaving the airport since it was so late. I didn't want to be walking around Raleigh late at night. He also asked me to take a nap in the car once I get in the car, and I was like "I'd have to get IN the car first" and he was like "we'll get you in the car, don't worry about that." So maybe that was a good sign?
But he also asked if I knew anyone in the Raleigh area. I told him I lived two and a half hours away in Richmond and his face fell. So maybe that was a bad sign?
Harry said his shift ended at 7:00, so I was prepared for a new baggage supervisor to deal with eventually. I was not prepared for the new guy to be as much of a jerk as he was though.
The new Baggage Supervisor said that he had no idea where my bag was, it was "probably" in Dallas and he had no idea when I was getting it back. He didn't have time for any questions and didn't care at all. I really started to wonder if not caring at all and being generally rude to customers was a trait that American Airlines looked for in their employees during the hiring process.
I asked the new Baggage Supervisor who the supervisor was there and he just replied really snottily, "I AM the supervisor. You would be talking to me."
Okay, sir, but I'm pretty sure you don't own American Airlines. Like whoever owns American Airlines is probably on a yacht somewhere not giving a fk about their customers, while he was right there in front of me not giving a fk about their customers -- it was that slight difference that made me question his assertion that he was the only person I could speak to. I mean, if you are the top of the chain here, why are you working in baggage? Is this a weird hobby of yours? Just point me to who writes your checks, okay thanks.
He told me that it's "normal procedure" to send a bag without a person going to the city on domestic flights, and only on international flights would it be a problem if the person was not on the same flight, which seems hella racist, but okay. Terrorists can be on domestic flights too, you know. But I still didn't understand how they kept saying that sending a bag to another city when that person had canceled their flight and would not arrive in that city at any point was normal. This is not normal behavior, American Airlines. What were you expecting to happen? Who did you think was going to pick it up?
Again, I asked to speak to a supervisor because none of this made any lick of sense.
He finally relented and said I could go speak to the supervisor at the ticketing counter who was above him. It was about 9pm at this point, and I really wish I had gotten the name of the really obnoxious woman supervisor at the American Airlines counter I talked to next. Customer service at this point was atrocious, but she took the absolute cake.
First the supervisor woman at ticketing told me that the airline could not do anything because the first cancellation was an act of God and the second cancellation was on me because I told them I wouldn't go on Saturday if they had canceled Friday, but I never consented to flying on Saturday and I had no way to stay in Raleigh to wait for that flight. They were taking absolutely no accountability for this. None. I heard nothing all day from anyone other than Harry but victim blaming. They could ship my bag off to god knows where and then it was my fault and they couldn't offer any explanations, any apologies, any accountability.
She just said I should know that canceling a flight doesn't mean that the bag gets canceled. But no one else believes that a bag cancellation even exists. It was starting to get darker and darker, night was setting in and I was wondering where I was going to sleep that night and she didn't seem to care at all. How was I going to sleep in the airport without my stuff being stolen when I was there alone? I was a single female, traveling alone, and getting scapegoated by the airline that had shipped my luggage off without checking to see that I wasn't going to be traveling with it. And it was somehow, supposedly, all my fault.
It was turning into a nightmare scenario. My bag is not on any of those flights. They didn't know when they were sending it back. She said they might need to mail it back to me. She looked bored and like she wanted to go off shift and just shrugged and said, "It could take days, weeks, you may never get it back. The best thing you can do is go home and wait for it."
Again, feeling like I was going absolutely mad, I reiterated the fact, "I. Can't. Go. Home. My. Keys. Are. In. That. Bag."
She said the airline couldn't comp me a meal, or a motel room (I wasn't asking for much, I'm not picky, just a roof, a $50 motel where you can hear gun shots would be fine). She just continued to tell me that it was all my fault. I shouldn't have put my keys in my luggage and she really needed to go off shift, why was I bothering her?
"You know," she said, "You're not the only one waiting for their bag. Dallas is a mess right now. You're just going to have to wait."
"Okay," I said, "I get that I shouldn't be allowed to skip the line, and that getting Johnny's shorts back to him is important, but. I. AM. THE. ONLY. PERSON. STRANDED. IN. YOUR. AIRPORT. CURRENTLY. FORCED. TO. LIVE. IN. TERMINAL. TWO. Maybe we can triage the situation and deal with the emergencies that are in front of us first?"
"Like I said," she reiterated. "You really should just go home."
I felt like I was losing my mind. "I. CAN'T."
The situation had gotten so desperate that I said exasperatedly maybe I should just fly to Dallas and pick up the bag myself. And the supervisor was muttered "that's not a bad idea, at least you wouldn't be in front of me". Like literally that was an actual plan. Because they couldn't just send the bag back on the next plane. But then we both realized that the bag was probably not even in baggage claim, it's probably stuck in the system backstage somewhere.
I called up my friend Joe Gergis, because after being at the airport for two days, patiently waiting for my bag to get back, seeing all the flights that it could have been on and getting talked to by these employees as if I was a nuisance when they were the ones who had taken my bag and shipped it off to parts completely unknown, I was just absolutely losing it. While the lady brushed me off to help another customer, I had a complete melt down with Joe on the line, screaming about the utter insanity I had been forced to deal with all day, the unhelpfulness, the gaslighting, the victim blaming, the sheer fact that I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do now.
I was honestly terrified. I was in shock. I was stranded at the airport and none of the people who stranded me there gave a damn.
Like why would they make a policy where they can just send the bag wherever. It doesn't make sense if the person isn't going on the flight, why would they want their bag there?? Make it make sense.
But they were still claiming that it was my fault because I shouldn't have put my keys in my checked luggage. And I should have canceled my bag. Even though I didn't realize that the cancellation didn't work for both of those things, my ticket and my bag.
And I didn't know if I could get any kind of refund because they were claiming that the first cancellation was an act of God which they claim no responsibility for, and then the second cancellation was me saying if you can't fly me on Friday I literally can't fly on Saturday.
I still had to figure out a way to get a key for my car. It the lady was telling me it might take weeks to get the bag back, what the hell was I going to do? Joe tried to calm me down the best he could, but people were starring at me on the phone as I paced and yelled during my utter meltdown and panic attack. I was screaming and crying and causing a scene because no one at that airport was helping me at all.
Everyone at American Airlines has been yelling at me, telling me it's my fault, gaslighting me, and telling me that there's nothing they can do and they don't know when the situation is ever going to get fixed.
After about 20 minutes, the lady was done helping the other customer. So I went up to talk to her and she was just, "if you want me to help you, you better not bring any of that attitude over here. I will talk to you but I will not deal with that nonsense." And because I was so frazzled by her basically yelling at me at that point, I asked Joe to help me talk to her because I didn't even know what I was supposed to be asking her at that point. My brain was just completely fried. So he asked her two questions, trying to figure out what our next move was. And then she said "you get three questions, those were your first two." Like I'm sorry, you stranded me in a foreign city at the airport and have absolutely no issue with any of this, and now you are saying that we only get three questions like you're some God damn genie or something. Our last question was who can we speak to that's above her basically, and that's when she gave us the number to what I believe is customer service? At least she said that it was someone to speak to above her.
Joe was a godsend because he realized how much I was flipping out and how I couldn't sleep in the airport all night. He managed to get me a hotel room with some credit card points he had and told me to go get the shuttle outside. We were done talking to the supervisor woman, she was absolutely no help and was actively making the situation all that much worse.
I couldn't believe that almost every single one of the American Airline employees had been yelling at me all day (except Harry). Like they really didn't care. At all. It was clearly obvious. It was disgusting. The fact that anyone would treat their customers that way is really messed up. The fact that they would treat another human being like this was appalling.
Me and Joe talked a bit about how I was going to need to get a key made for my car the next day just to go home. But honestly, with my brain fried, he said the most important things for me to do right then was to eat some dinner, shower and sleep.
The transportation dude from the Fairfield Marriot picked me up and I must have looked haggard because he asked me what was going on. I told him everything and he was shocked. He told me the airline obviously messed up and this was the biggest nonsense he'd heard from them in a long while. He was such a sweet gentleman. I was almost in shock just being treated so kindly after dealing with American Airlines jerks all day. I could have cried just by that simple kindness.
When I got to the Fairfield, Kelli (who had spoken to Joe and got the whole story from him) greeted me warmly, asking if I needed anything, showing me human kindness and courtesy. I told her that being there felt like coming home after being through a huge battle.
"Don't you worry, baby girl, we got you," she said and again I just wanted to cry in relief. But the sheer fact that American Airlines could not show me any kind of sympathy after they fked up, but that hotel was so gentle and empathetic was a startling contrast. One of those companies cares about its customers and the other just wants to take their money, screw them over and victim blame them. The transport dude even offered to buy me McDonald's when I couldn't remember the last time I ate.
I still didn't know what I going to do, but the transportation dude told me, "I know you're in a bit of a pickle right now, but things will turn out all right. You just gotta see what happens tomorrow."
That hope was all I had to hold onto, but I still didn't know what was I going to do. The situation just kept getting deeper and deeper. The hotel staff and Joe all told me to sleep, but I was freaked and ended up just pacing a lot until the wee hours. I was worried I was never getting home, my cats only had food until Tuesday/Wednesday, and I would lose my job if I didn't get back to work soon. I just felt like I was running out of time and options, and the airline kept showing me they didn't care and telling me it was all my fault. Their gaslighting, condescending tone and unhelpful behavior was wearing me out. I was breaking down. I felt so alone, out of my depths and like the airline could have done all these simple, easy things for me and they couldn't care enough to help me out of the situation that they caused by being careless with my luggage.
I just wanted to go home. I laid in bed shaking while trying to sleep and it hit me that this was me being absolutely terrified. I figured if it was going to take weeks to get out of this situation, something big was going to have to give out, I was going to lose either my car, my cats, my job or my sanity.
I cried myself to sleep that night.
The next morning, I woke up and tried the phone number to baggage Harry had given me. He answered, checked my tag and said he finally had good news! He said my bag was coming in on the 11:30 flight! Harry was so happy for me. We love Harry, heh.
I talked to Harry when I got to the airport. He rechecked my tag and confirmed the flight it was on just landed and my bag was on it. He seemed pissed on my behalf, said none of this was my fault and caulked it up to "laziness". Pure laziness. He said he's been back and forth with these people for months now. He was shocked at how I said I was treated and said I never should have been talked to that way. He gave me the website to file a complaint. Several people were telling me to hit them where it hurts is social media, so I guess that's my next step. Gotta annoy the hell out of them on social media until this policy changes and I get some kind of compensation for what they put me through and the way they talked to their paying customer.
Then I waited for my bag, and when I first saw it come off the baggage belt, I scooped it up and fell on the floor crying. I was overwhelmed with relief, sitting there shaking, crying, hugging it. American Airlines had also unzipped it a bit, but thankfully the keys were still in it.
I could just picture my suitcase saying, "I know you're still upset about not getting to go on vacation, but let me tell you about MY trip..."
I ran over to Harry's office, peaking my head in, grinning ear to ear and told him, "I got my bag back, Harry! I'm going home, I'M GOING HOME!!!" In retrospect, it's really sad when the best thing you can say about an airline is it finally let you go home, but Harry was really happy for me.
On the way home, I had to stop for four hours to fix the donut of a flat tire on my car, and I just had a good long time to think about the utter nonsense that I had just experienced over the past 50 hours of my life, the non-trip, the gaslighting, the unprofessional behavior from more of the American Airlines employees, they way they implied that the situation wasn't as bad as I was making out to be, how stranded I had felt and how I didn't know why they all hated me.
In fact, at one point during all of this, I remember I had thought of going up to the woman with the bronze twists and apologizing to her for I don't even know what, because I had been so helpless and I was willing to do whatever I could to get her to see that I didn't intend to upset her, I was just in a helpless situation and I really needed some support from the staff. I had been willing to grovel for their help because that's how stranded and attacked I had been feeling. I don't think it would have helped though, because the whole time I was doubted and shown no empathy at all.
If they had only said 'wow, we messed up, but we're going to take care of you until we fix our mistake' I would have been able to let this go. To be attacked continuously by these employees and their utter rudeness all weekend just added to the stress I was already feeling. I felt like there was no one I could turn to and my concerns were completely ignored. Oh I'm so sorry, my terror and panic were bothering them. The staff truly needs to receive training on handling customer issues with some kind of empathy and clarity.
I am still going to see if American Airlines can compensate me for any of this nonsense in the form of a refund for my flight ticket, any kind of reimbursement or compensation for the undue stress and inconvenience they caused, but given their stellar customer service so far, I don't know how far I will be able to get with them. So my other alternative is to share this with social media and also to reach out to aviation regulatory bodies if I don't receive a satisfactory response from the airline. People should know who they're dealing with when they fly with American Airlines.
And above all, I would like a formal apology, because this was an utter nightmare that left me traumatized and terrified. I should never have been left to fend for my own after their egregious laziness caused such a massive mistake. Everyone I have talked to about this so far seems to be in consensus that this is absolutely appalling customer service and several have said they will not fly American Airlines ever again after hearing the whole ordeal. If American Airlines is going to ignore me and dismiss me, I have no problem speaking the truth about them, even if it hurts their reputation and their bottom line.

5th: Sean Rector (Marquesas - 5th)

my glorious king
u/DryBonesKing:
Honestly, Sean feels almost scientifically designed to be a favorite of mine. Great narrator, confrontational, scrappy and willing to get involved in the game/narrative when necessary, prone to discussions on race and the way it impacts him, instrumental to some of the most iconic moments in the series as a whole, and just a genuinely hilarious guy in the most effortless way possible? Sign me the fuck up, print one thousand copies please!
He/Tai/Sandra/Sophie are my top four favorites of all time, and the only reason I let Abi jump ahead of him in terms of priority is just because I felt like I had something really meaningful to say about her and wanted to celebrate her making endgame with a write-up she deserved. Meanwhile, Sean already got his flowers in Rankdown V. Do recommend reading the Rankdown-winning writeup u/CSteino did for him, because I probably don’t have a ton to add that wasn’t already said about him.
It warms my heart to see the modern day Survivor fanbase generally look back at Marquesas and finally recognize Sean as the literal casting gold that he is. However, I do appreciate that his reputation has only shifted positive years after Marquesas. I do think a part of what makes Sean Rector feel so impactful is his complete willingness to be open about himself and who he is as a black man and that he willing to do so with complete disregard to how he might make the white people around him feel. I do think it is important that the audience did not take him to, at least in the immediate aftermath of Marquesas, because it sorta helps prove his point and make his feel more relevant. Like his entire relationship with Paschal is probably the biggest evidence of that Sean is not going to water himself down for the sake of making people like him more comfortable with him. And I think that’s an element to his character that is often not as neglected; that Sean is willing to make both the people around him and the audience uncomfortable so he can say the truth about how he perceives something. That’s the kind of shit I want to see more out of Survivor. One of the all time greats, glad that at the very least in this community, he gets the respect he deserves!
Overall Rank – 4/821
~
u/Zanthosus:
Sean is good. Like, really good. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that I love Sean so much considering how much I adore Marquesas to begin with after all. I’m not sure what I can add that hasn’t been said ad nauseam before. He’s simply incredible. Easily worthy of endgame, no questions asked.
~
u/Tommyroxs45:
Sean’s role and impact on Survivor is unprecedented. On top of just being a really good and entertaining character, his discussions and moments about race changed millions of people’s perspectives in way’s people haven’t seen before Sean. He is truly an all-time character and there is a reason he has made endgame all the time.
~
u/Regnisyak1:
Sean is an important figure in Survivor history and helps make Marquesas one of the most important seasons in Survivor, in terms of understanding its roots from trying to create a society. Race is an intricate subject on the series, and one that often gets glossed over, but Sean (and Vecepia) help make it a more visible concept for viewers at home and explains the intricate nature of implicit bias that 100% exists on Survivor. I love Sean for his sociological addition to the series, and to boot, he is hilarious and helps foster one of the most important minority flips in the history of the show. Important for the series, and a great character overall.
Personal Rank: 20/821. 10/10.
~
u/ninjedi1:
Sean is such an important character on Survivor. Not only is he an interesting player and is a key part to the first and most successful takedown of a majority alliance, but also what he brings to the discussion of race on the show. Of course, you also have his classic scenes of him on the reward with Paschal, and his voting confessional "when in vegas, always bet on black". He has so much to give that it stinks we never really got to see him return for another season.
~~~~~
u/SMC0629:
Sean Rector
My introduction to Survivor rankdowns or lists came in the Summer of 2020. I was on vacation with my family friends, and one night I was reading through survivor’s WSSYW 9.0 series. Not sure why I was spending my night doing that, but that’s besides the point. I was scrolling through the seasons, not really caring much about what most were saying, but there was one person that stuck out to me. u/Csteino’s posts had him ranking every character in the seasons, as well as ranking the seasons, with blurbs attached to every character. I had never really seen survivor characters be called “characters,” so this was really all new for me. The season rankings in particular stuck out to me, one of which being his pick for the best season. His #1 season was Marquesas, and Sean Rector was his #1 character of the entire show. Not just the season, the entire show. I had never seen Marquesas before, only clips and vote-offs. I only knew who Kathy, Rob, and Vecepia were, and I only knew Vecepia because I watched those “every Survivor winner” videos. Flash forward to early 2022, I just discovered how to pirate Survivor seasons, and I had been binging a TON of seasons. Gabon, Panama, even a rewatch of HHH after hearing good stuff about it, but next on my plate, was Marquesas. I held my breath, expecting the very best, and was not disappointed. And as for Sean, he became one of my favorite characters in the entire show.
Starting at the beginning of the season, let’s look at Sean on Maraamu, and why it serves as an incredible introduction to his character. From the jump, Sean’s charisma shines, as his famous Sarah confessional is one of his best. Going beyond that, he jells with almost everyone on the tribe so well, hell, you could argue everyone. This goes to my next point, Sean is so real. Everything he says is real and you’re never gonna see him be fake. He thinks Sarah is useless, thinks Hunter is a know-it-all, thinks Gina is a kiss-ass, and Peter’s weird, obviously. It doesn’t come off like Sean’s just hating to hate though, or being phony, his charisma really sells it. And that’s not to say he doesn’t have good things to say about people. He vibes with Rob, and they have a pretty underrated connection, he likes Patricia and finds her to be a nice mother-figure for the tribe, and then there’s Vecepia. The two bond hard, and have such a great dynamic, almost like a brother-sister the way I see it. Sean is more out there, not afraid to stand out, but extremely calculated when he wants to be. Vecepia on the other hand, is more reserved, chill, willing to let the punches blow by her, but she supports the people she cares about. This comes into play later, but it's a great setup here. We end the Maraamu section with Hunter’s vote-out, which tips the scales for Sean and his partner Rob. The two are pretty much on top now, and nothing can stop them. You know what happens next.
The swap changes everything for Sean, as he, Vecepia, and Rob are now on the bottom with 5 other Rotu members. During these three episodes, Sean is honestly on the backburner, at least compared to Rob. Even Vecepia, as through Rob’s narration we learn Vee has been getting in good with the Rotu’s, due to her being more social. Rob and Sean on the other hand, are pretty much scraping to stay alive. Again, while Sean’s story is pretty much left on the side here, two important things happen. One, is that Gabe is eliminated when Rotu goes to tribal. While the three Maraamu’s were bonding with Gabe, which could make it a 4-4 vote, John decided to take matters into his own hands. A very deceptive move for sure, as John cuts Gabe for showing an unwillingness to play the game, which could ruin John’s plans and put him in the hot seat. To gain the others’ trust, John offers Sean and Rob a deal, and this is where the second important part kicks in. Sean is skeptical, not sure if John can be trusted, but he and Rob go along with it to save their own skin. By the time the merge kicks in, Sean seemingly is aligned with the Rotu 4, but he doesn’t know that Rob has his own plans. Rob wants to break up the alliance, cutting John first, and this all comes to a head in the merge.
As it seems after the first immunity challenge, Rob has stirred up enough panic between Kathy and her other Rotu tribemates that John feels it’s time to cut Rob loose. The two of them and Sean meet after the challenge, where a pretty big verbal fight happens, and it’s one of my favorite moments in the whole season. Especially once Sean overtakes the argument. Everything Sean says is valid, he calls out John’s hypocrisy to a tee, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. It’s a moment with a harsh reality, saying that no matter what connections some might form, the game is always lingering in the background, and for some people like John, it becomes their main drive. So Rob is voted off, and now Sean is pretty much stuck on the bottom. Everything before the challenge practically confirms this, from the night after tribal, to Sean’s “good luck Sean” confessional, and his immediate elimination in the challenge. However, we all know what happens next though. Due to the overconfidence of the Rotu 4, Neleh and Paschal decide to flip on their tribemates, taking out John. The moment after this all happens is amazing, with the “brand new day” scene just being so special. That waterfall looks beautiful by the way, I could never get that out of my mind.
Sean’s charm just continues to blossom throughout the next episodes. We have the iconic reward where Sean and Paschal take a beautiful trip with Marquesian men. Sean has a confessional here which not only encapsulates his charm, but just the spirit of old Survivor in general: “The only horses I’ve been on are the merry-go-rounds in central city.” It really just captures the premise of the show, taking people from different walks of life and throwing them in such a unique scenario. Of course, there’s also the great “my balls' ' moment, and also in the next episode, with his hilarious “piece of doodoo' ' confessional about Neleh’s candy. Also, his relationship with Vecepia continues to grow stronger, as the “happy birthday” moment is another really heartfelt one that always touched me.
To conclude this, we have the final five episode, Sean’s elimination. This episode is one of my favorites in the entire show, and it really makes you root for Sean. It’s not disingenuous at all though, as with the Rotu 4 alliance now eliminated, the dynamic among the tribe becomes very complex. Neleh and Paschal have a pact to not vote each other out, and while Sean and Vee have become very close friends, they haven’t made any sort of ride or die, to the end type agreement. Throughout the episode, Sean and Vee are constantly referred to as a duo, by all three of the others, and it clearly upsets Sean, as he shares at tribal council especially. However, with the context of the entire season in mind, and what we’ve learned about Sean and come to love about him, the show handles this perfectly. Given the much different time this season was made in comparison to the present, there was an easy way out. Sean could have been portrayed far more unfairly, but instead, we’re gifted every second of Sean’s wisdom regarding the situation, and by the end of the episode, you learn that he’s 100% right. Sean is outspoken, he can be head-strong, but in the end, Sean is one of the most knowledgeable and charismatic people to ever be on the show, and that’s why he’s one of my favorite characters of all time.
SMC0629: 3
DryBonesKing: 4
Zanthosus: 3
Tommyroxs45: 6
Regnisyak1: 13
DavidW1208: 20
ninjedi1: 13
Average Placement: 8.857
Total Points: 62
Standard Deviation: 6.651 (11th Highest)

Not many kids can say they have a superhero for a father.
My Dad was an amazing man. He was the coolest person in the world.
Known as our town’s superhero, he used his newfound powers to bring down evil villains who threatened to take over.
Nobody knew how he and a number of others acquired their abilities.
There were rumours of a chemical explosion in the powerplant.
Some people even believed my Dad was from a different planet, while others were convinced it was natural human evolution. My Dad could shoot lasers out of his eyes, and he was super strong.
When I was seven years old, he single-handedly stopped The Cerebral Drainer, a psychopath with a vacuum like power who took the lives of ten innocent people, sucking out their brains in broad daylight. Dad saved a child live on local TV, swooping down from the sky and telling the panicking crowd everything is going to be okay. Then when I was twelve, Dad took down Rat Face, a villain who filled the streets with disease ridden rodents.
My Dad was our town’s superhero, and in exchange for keeping his secret from the rest of the world, he protected all of us.
He was the best superhero (and father) by day, and family-man and loving husband by night. I was Millie Myers, a completely ordinary high school girl, and daughter of Star-man.
It wasn't out of the ordinary for the press to be swarming our door when I got home from school.
Pushing through the crowd of my Dad’s adoring fans, I flashed my perfect smile at the cameras.
As Star-man’s daughter, I was yet to reveal my power to the town.
I could tell they were gunning for it, their wide and frenzied eyes raking me up and down.
The older I was getting, the less patient the town was. Dad told them in a press conference that I was just a late bloomer. Channel 7 news was waiting for me at our front door, immediately sticking a microphone in my face. I was told not to talk to the press. I was tired, and the cameras were hurting my eyes.
The anchorwoman, Heather Carlisle, was already yelling in my face.
“Millie Myers! Is it true your father is currently interrogating the son of the infamous villain, Six-Eyes?”
Six Eyes was the opposite of my father.
Dad strived to protect our town and everyone in it.
Six Eyes, who was famous for the mutation that came with his ability, sought to destroy it. It was almost a year since he had brainwashed the Mayor and almost taken control of our tiny town.
Dad did manage to apprehend him, only for Six Eyes to break out of prison two weeks later.
His eighteen year old son, Cartwright, wanted nothing to do with him. He had even legally changed his name to get as far away from his father as possible.
The boy was only in town for a few weeks, on vacation from college.
However, over the last few days, my father had reasons to believe Six-Eyes was in contact with his estranged son.
So, he planned to question the kid on his Dad’s whereabouts.
I twisted around, maintaining a wide smile. “No comment.” I told the cameras.
The anchorwoman nodded slowly, thrusting her microphone further into my face. I had to hold back a sneeze. “But your father is interrogating him now, correct? Millie, can you tell us what… techniques he is using?” She demanded, her expression riddled with excitement.
She was trying to get me to spill or trip over what I was saying so my words could be taken out of context.
But I was already heavily media trained not to say a thing. I couldn't say the same for when I was a little younger.
I blindly told the press a lot of things I regret.
Dad didn't get mad easily, but his smile did start to slightly falter when I told Channel 7 our family's business.
Shutting the press down, I shook my head, making sure to stretch my lips into a big, cheesy grin. Just like my Dad told me. I cleared my throat.
“Rest assured, Cartwright is in good hands, I can promise you all that.”
I nodded at the crowd, making direct eye contact with each of them. Dad said if I wanted the crowd to believe my earnest words, I had to look into each and every eye, and mean it. That's what I did.
“As we all know, the son of Six Eyes is not a bad person, and we should not blame him for his father’s crimes. I cannot speak for my Dad, but I can assure you, he will find the villain Six Eyes.”
I held my breath, pausing for just enough time for the crowd to register my words.
“And bring him to justice.”
When I turned to open my door, the spell was broken, more questions thrown at me.
“Millie, is it true you have not inherited your father’s abilities?”
Someone else screamed in my face, and I choked down a yell.
“Millie Myers, can you tell us more about your father’s interrogation?!”
I shrugged. “I don't know. He's just talking to him.”
“Millie!” A wide eyed redhead followed me, stumbling over my mother’s rose garden.
When he carelessly stamped on a blooming rose, I resisted the urge to shove him back. He looked like an ammateur, a college kid, maybe, armed with just his iPhone and a dream.
The guy got close.
Too close for comfort, swiping at my jacket.
His breath was just coffee and cigarettes. “Are you aware of the photos floating around of you and Kai Hendrix, the son of Oculus? Can you confirm that you are in a relationship?”
A younger woman threw herself in front of him.
“Miss Myers, is there a reason why your brother does not come outside–”
Ignoring them, I opened the door, stepped inside our house, and slammed it behind me. Once inside, I let myself breathe, dropping my backpack and pulling off my jacket. There was a folded square of paper tucked into my pocket.
I pulled it out and ripped it into pieces. There were exactly 1,370 tally marks carved into our front door. With a rusty nail, I scratched another tally, crossing a group of four. 1,371 days.
Kicking off my shoes, I strode into the downstairs living room.
“I'm home.” I told my twin brother.
Ethan Myers was born three minutes after me. We weren't classed as identical twins, but Mom was convinced we were.
Both of us had thick brown hair, bearing our mother’s soft features. While I kept mine in a strict ponytail, Ethan’s had grown out lighter and curlier than mine, hanging in dark eyes. Ethan was the Myers twin who was not in the town’s spotlight.
My brother was in his usual place, sitting on the couch, knees pressed to his chest, half lidded eyes glued to the corpse of our TV. The screen had been hollowed out a long time ago. I skipped into the kitchen and filled a glass of orange juice, took a quick sip, and headed over to my brother, pressing the drink to his lips.
Ethan didn't respond for a moment, before his lazy eyes rolled to me, life erupting into his expression. He gulped it down, juice trickling down his chin.
When I withdrew the glass, he shot me a grateful smile. I winced when he straightened up, the sound of jingling metal sending me stumbling back.
“Thanks, Mills.”
He held up his right hand, just like when we were little kids. “High five?”
I ignored his childlike grin, hollowed out eyes penetrating right through me.
Ethan was never looking at me. He was always looking over my shoulder. But when I followed his gaze, there was nothing there. I ruffled his hair, resisting the urge to wrap my arms around him.
But I had to keep my distance.
I stepped back, my gaze trailing the ceiling. “Where's Dad?”
Ethan’s eyes travelled back to the TV, his lips pricking into a smile.
“Basement.” He said. “Daddy is interrogating the villain’s son.”
I nodded, pulling my Switch from my bag and dropping it into his lap.
It used to be Ethan’s. In fact, he had carved his initials into the back. “You can play with this, you know." I forced out, trying to stop my hands from trembling.
“You don't have to keep…” I turned to the shattered TV screen, my heart catapulting into my mouth. Ethan didn't look at me, his gaze boring into the TV.
He didn't respond, so I headed towards the basement door.
But not before my brother let out a hysterical giggle.
When I turned to him, Ethan was seventeen years old, laughing at invisible cartoons.
“Do you expect me to play with no fucking hands?”
I didn't, or couldn't, reply.
“Hey, Millie?” Ethan hummed, when I pulled open the basement door.
The chill that followed set my nerve endings on fire. My brother’s voice was deeper, no longer the childish giggle I'd gotten used to. In the corner of my eye, his head turned towards me. Standing on the threshold for a fraction of a second, I think part of me wondered if Ethan’s mind had pieced itself back together.
“Mom wants juice too.”
My twin’s voice was suddenly so small. “Can you get her some?”
I pretended not to hear him, skipping down to the basement, ignoring how cold each step was, the ingrained red dried into concrete. The best part of my day was visiting my father while he was working. I held my breath, easing my way down each step. “Hey, Dad?” I called, easing myself through the dark.
I always made sure to announce my presence. “Daddy.” I pulled my lips into the biggest, cheesiest smile. “I'm home.”
“Pumpkin!” Dad’s voice echoed from the bottom of the stairs. “How's my favorite girl doing?”
Moving further down the stairs, I could hear screaming.
Wailing.
Sobbing.
There were specific rules I had to abide by when stepping inside the basement.
I had to be extra quiet if my father was doing superhero business. Over the years, though, Dad had relaxed the rules a little. When I pushed through the plastic sheeting, Daddy had already opened up the boy’s head. It's not like I was surprised. He'd moved away from the interrogation stage a long time ago.
Star-man stood in a simple suit and tie, a white coat draped over.
My father was young for his age, dark brown hair and pale features.
Cartwright didn't look so good, lying on his back, his half lidded gaze glued to the ceiling.
I could see sharp red spilled across the floor and the bed he was strapped to.
Star-man loomed over him, cradling the boy’s jerking head between blood slicked gloves. The closer I got, I could see the exposed meat of the boy’s brain leaking from the pearly white of his skull.
Closer.
Cartwright's body was quaking, his wrists straining against velcro straps.
My father’s fingers gently stroked across the pink of his brain, tiny sparks of electricity bleeding from his index. Star-man's grin widened, and I watched the villain’s son writhing under his touch.
I could see the tiny sparks of electricity running from Dad’s fingers, forcing his victim into submission. The villain’s son’s eyes rolled back, a wet sounding sob escaping his lips. He was still conscious, and could feel everything.
Star-man lifted his head, his eyes finding me.
“Sweetie! How was school?”
He let go of Cartwright's head, delicately changing his gloves for brand new clinical white ones. “Your teacher called about a certain test you have been trying to avoid.” Dad tutted, swiping his bloody hands on his coat.
When Cartwright tried to wrench from the bed, he knocked the kid back down with a laugh. “Millie, I did say, there will be consequences if you flunk your tests.”
He gestured for me to come closer with a blood drenched glove, and I did.
Star-man prodded a single finger into the raw flesh of Cartwright's brain, and the boy screamed, writhing, blood running thick from his nose. “Do I need to take your phone away, hmm? How about the school trip to New York? Millie, I don't have to sign the permission slip.” He turned back to the villain’s son, hanging over the boy with a laugh.
“What do you think?” He cleared his throat.
When Dad nodded at me, I laughed too. “Young Mr Cartwright, the human brain does not have nerves, so I don't know why you're screaming. It is quite embarrassing for a boy of your age.”
He slapped the boy’s cheek playfully, and Cartwright wailed.
1,400 days, I thought, watching my father torture the teenage boy.
1,400 days since Star-man walked into our house, burned down our door, and announced himself as our new father.
I was thirteen years old in middle school.
Ethan and I were watching TV in the living room, and there he was.
Star-man, with his signature grin, standing between the melted remnants of our front door.
Stella, our little sister, squeaked in delight.
“Star-man!” She jumped off of the couch.
Ethan gently dragged her back, holding her to his chest.
“Hey, Mom?” He yelled, his voice shaking.
“There's someone at the door.”
Star-man chuckled, taking a step inside our hallway.
“Oh, no, I'm not here for your mother.”
1,400 days since he murdered our mother, lasering her head cleanly from her shoulders when she threw herself in front of us and begged him to take her.
There was wet warmth running across the concrete floor. I barely noticed, hopping over it.
1,400 days since Star-man burned our little sister alive in front of our eyes.
Star-man didn't want three children.
He wanted two.
1,400 days since our father nailed wooden planks over the door, announcing Ethan and I as his legacies.
Ethan started to spiral. He tried to escape out his bedroom window, and then more dangerously, jumping off of the roof of our house, and that just made our father angry. He burned a hole in the TV, and then hollowed out the screen.
Star-man just wanted a son and a daughter. That's what he told my brother.
He could not procreate because of the mutation causing his ability. But he had always wanted children.
Star-man promised us he was going to be the best father anyone would ask for.
And he was.
100 days after murdering our mother and sister, Ethan and I were plunged into the town’s spotlight.
“These are my children!” Star-man told a crowd of flashing cameras.
He wrapped his arms around the two of us, pulling us closer.
*“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to meet Millie and Ethan Myers from my first marriage.”
Star-man addressed the crowd with earnest eyes.
“I know what you're thinking, and no, these two are little rascals,” he ruffled our hair a little too hard, and I made sure to laugh and smile and not cry. “Millie and Ethan do not share my abilities.”
His lips spread into a grin.
“Yet.”
That word had been hanging over me since the press-conference.
Yet.
Presently, Dad was crawling in my head again.
Smile, Millie!.
I did, smiling so much, blood pooled from my lips.
Dad promised neither of us would be sad again. We wouldn't fear him or anything else. In fact, we were going to be happy, smiling, perfect children forever, his shining legacies he would dangle in front of the town on our eighteenth birthday.
It was his birthday present to us, and I was so excited.
The closer I was getting to my father, I could sense him fashioning my smile, wider and wider, until I couldn't breathe.
He didn't care that I was bleeding.
That my eyes were stinging.
All he cared about was that I loved him as my father.
“Come here, Millie.”
I forced myself forwards, swallowing vomit filling the back of my mouth.
If I screamed, I would end up like my brother. Ethan was on a permanent time out until his 18th birthday. Star-man was yet to forgive my twin trying to stab him at Thanksgiving dinner. Dad said Ethan’s mental state was puberty, but I was more akin to believing it was a mixture of trauma, as well as our father’s attempt to poison my brother with powers at fourteen years old which almost killed him. Dad was smart enough to stop the procedure before he killed his only son.
I blinked, my legs buckling, footsteps faltering.
Sometimes I think I can pull away from his influence.
“Millie Myers.” Dad hummed, skimming his finger across a variety of scalpels. Cartwright watched him feverishly. “Don't make me ask again, Pumpkiiiiin.”
Still.
I felt my thoughts start to melt away, replaced with artificial happiness choking me. Our father was the best Dad in the whole world. I wouldn't ask for any other father, and I didn't even miss my mother!
With that thought slamming into me, I skipped over to my father with a grin.
Around him were rejects, corpses piled to the ceiling, limbs and heads and torso’s contorted and merged into one mass of gore.
Human’s he attempted to turn into minions.
But there were also successful villains.
The Cerebral Drainer, and Rat Face had been ripped apart and put back together again. Dad was saving them for a quiet day. The Myers basement was my father’s workshop. When I joined his side, he ran his fingers over Cartwright's skull.
I was surprised when the villain’s son let out a sudden, hysterical giggle, his eyes rolling to pearly whites. “What are you doing to him?” I asked, intrigued, running my hands over the boy’s restraints. This time, Cartwright's body contorted into an arch, maniacal laughter escaping his lips.
When his back slammed into metal, the ground rumbled.
“Now, what is funny, hmm?” Star-man asked in a low hum.
The boy responded by spitting in his face, shrieking with giggles.
Dad cleared his throat, swiping blood from his cheek.
“That's not funny.”
I was keenly aware of several instruments dangling above my head.
Cartwright's body jolted, and they hit the ground.
Dad turned his attention to me. “What is your nightmare of a brother doing, young lady?”
His words shattered part of his influence.
I felt my breath start to quicken, my heart starting to pound.
Fear.
Ethan hadn't moved in days, weeks, months.
Glued to that one seat, caught inside his own delusion.
Ethan was watching TV when Mom’s brains were splattered across the walls.
He was watching TV when our little sister’s flesh bubbled into the living room carpet.
“Ethan is watching TV.” I hummed, “What are you doing to the villain’s son?” I pointed to the boy’s contorting fingers. They turned clockwise, straining under harsh velcro straps.
Cartwright was trying to twist off my head like a bottletop. I was lucky to have my father’s protection.
Dad shot me a grin. “Well, you see, Millie.” He said, shoving the hysterical boy back onto the bed. Madness. I saw it in his eyes, igniting every part of his face, running through his nerve endings.
That is what made a villain, what we all saw on the local news.
It was the loss of humanity, logic quite literally burned from the brain stem.
Complete, unbridled euphoria, accepting insanity.
I had already seen this exact look.
The Cerebral Drainer’s psychotic grin.
Rat Face’s all too familiar and horrific chittering laugh.
Six Eyes’s Alice In Wonderland smile.
Dad rocked the boy’s head back and forth. Cartwright giggled along, his gaze finding nothing, penetrating nothing. His hands went limp, and he gave up trying to yank my brain from my skull. “We can't have heroes without villains, can we?”
I reached out, poking the boy in the face.
“So, he's like his father?”
Dad almost looked like a proud father. “Oh, no, honey, he's better than his father. He's already setting an example.” Starman nudged me playfully. “Your father would not exist without the bad guys,” he said, tracing a finger over the boy’s cheek. “We’re just lucky we have a town full of naive fuck-wits.”
Cartwright laughed harder. Hard enough to send him toppling off of the bed with a wet, meaty sounding smack.
I was partially aware of my body reacting. My breaths quickened, a thick slime creeping up my throat. I think I stepped back. I think I almost screamed.
I forgot his head was hanging open, half of his brains leaking out.
But I don't think Cartwright needed a brain anymore.
Whatever was left of it was blackened, thick, poisoned streaks running up down what had been healthy pink and grey.
My Dad scooped him up, and plonked him back onto ice cold steel.
His evil laugh was fake, manufactured, programmed directly into his mind.
Part of me wondered if this was his father’s fate too.
Six Eyes.
Was he a result of my father’s experiments?
The crazy thing is, the more I want to scream, my chest heaving, fear starting to gnaw away at me, the stronger my father’s influence is. The villain’s son was stitched back up with not even a hair out of place and thrown into the back with the other finished minions.
If he recovered well, Cartwright, son of Six Eyes, would be going on a town rampage very soon.
Well, he was the villain’s son after all.
Instead of screaming, I smiled.
Dad taught me everything about cutting up humans. Human brains were so easy to manipulate.
Because humans were bad.
The people like my Dad were better.
I grabbed a scalpel, sticking it into Cartwright's hand.
His whimper of pain collapsing into hysterical laughter didn't give me hope.
If he reacted positively to a blade going through his skin, he wasn't worth saving.
Once that thought crossed my mind, however, I REALLY LOVED MY DAD.
The mental declaration almost sent me to my knees.
“Go upstairs and do your homework.” Dad said, wheeling Cartwright into the back room. “I'll be upstairs to cook dinner in ten minutes.”
“Sure, dad.”
His influence was like a wire wrapped around my throat.
Squeezing.
“Oh, and Millie?”
I didn't turn around. “Yes?”
“Chocolate or strawberry for your birthday cake?”
I froze, my smile stretching right across my face.
He knew my answer. Dad baked us a cake 4 hours after I trashed the slimy remnants of my little sister. Star-man forced me to peel my sister from the carpet and dump her in a trash bag.
I could still smell her charred flesh hanging in the air.
Star-man made a giant chocolate cake and frosting.
He made us eat every single morsel.
Every bite was agonising.
“Chocolate, Daddy.” I said, swallowing my lunch.
Dad chuckled, and somewhere in the back, Cartwright started laughing.
Starting as quiet giggles, they became full on guffaws.
Star-man ignored him.
“That's right, Princess.”
I nodded, heading back up the stairs.
Greeting my brother, I cranked the Alexa to full volume.
I always listen to music when I'm doing my homework.
Filling a glass of water, I held it to Ethan’s lips with three fingers.
Ethan downed it in three gulps, and then nodded in one single motion.
Star-man may be a highly intelligent psychopath, but he is yet to notice my brother is not as brain dead as he thinks.
Yes, he still watches TV.
But he's also thinking.
Dad is under the impression my twin doesn't need to be under his control.
But Ethan has been planning.
And slowly, over days, weeks, months, he has been putting together our escape plan.
It has been 1,400 days since Ethan and I tried to escape our father.
1,370 days since we started to scratch our days of captivity into the door.
10 days until we turn eighteen.
Four days until we get the fuck out of here.

Not many kids can say they have a superhero for a father.
My Dad was an amazing man. He was the coolest person in the world.
Known as our town’s superhero, he used his newfound powers to bring down evil villains who threatened to take over.
Nobody knew how he and a number of others acquired their abilities.
There were rumours of a chemical explosion in the powerplant.
Some people even believed my Dad was from a different planet, while others were convinced it was natural human evolution. My Dad could shoot lasers out of his eyes, and he was super strong.
When I was seven years old, he single-handedly stopped The Cerebral Drainer, a psychopath with a vacuum like power who took the lives of ten innocent people, sucking out their brains in broad daylight. Dad saved a child live on local TV, swooping down from the sky and telling the panicking crowd everything is going to be okay. Then when I was twelve, Dad took down Rat Face, a villain who filled the streets with disease ridden rodents.
My Dad was our town’s superhero, and in exchange for keeping his secret from the rest of the world, he protected all of us.
He was the best superhero (and father) by day, and family-man and loving husband by night. I was Millie Myers, a completely ordinary high school girl, and daughter of Star-man.
It wasn't out of the ordinary for the press to be swarming our door when I got home from school.
Pushing through the crowd of my Dad’s adoring fans, I flashed my perfect smile at the cameras.
As Star-man’s daughter, I was yet to reveal my power to the town.
I could tell they were gunning for it, their wide and frenzied eyes raking me up and down.
The older I was getting, the less patient the town was. Dad told them in a press conference that I was just a late bloomer. Channel 7 news was waiting for me at our front door, immediately sticking a microphone in my face. I was told not to talk to the press. I was tired, and the cameras were hurting my eyes.
The anchorwoman, Heather Carlisle, was already yelling in my face.
“Millie Myers! Is it true your father is currently interrogating the son of the infamous villain, Six-Eyes?”
Six Eyes was the opposite of my father.
Dad strived to protect our town and everyone in it.
Six Eyes, who was famous for the mutation that came with his ability, sought to destroy it. It was almost a year since he had brainwashed the Mayor and almost taken control of our tiny town.
Dad did manage to apprehend him, only for Six Eyes to break out of prison two weeks later.
His eighteen year old son, Cartwright, wanted nothing to do with him. He had even legally changed his name to get as far away from his father as possible.
The boy was only in town for a few weeks, on vacation from college.
However, over the last few days, my father had reasons to believe Six-Eyes was in contact with his estranged son.
So, he planned to question the kid on his Dad’s whereabouts.
I twisted around, maintaining a wide smile. “No comment.” I told the cameras.
The anchorwoman nodded slowly, thrusting her microphone further into my face. I had to hold back a sneeze. “But your father is interrogating him now, correct? Millie, can you tell us what… techniques he is using?” She demanded, her expression riddled with excitement.
She was trying to get me to spill or trip over what I was saying so my words could be taken out of context.
But I was already heavily media trained not to say a thing. I couldn't say the same for when I was a little younger.
I blindly told the press a lot of things I regret.
Dad didn't get mad easily, but his smile did start to slightly falter when I told Channel 7 our family's business.
Shutting the press down, I shook my head, making sure to stretch my lips into a big, cheesy grin. Just like my Dad told me. I cleared my throat.
“Rest assured, Cartwright is in good hands, I can promise you all that.”
I nodded at the crowd, making direct eye contact with each of them. Dad said if I wanted the crowd to believe my earnest words, I had to look into each and every eye, and mean it. That's what I did.
“As we all know, the son of Six Eyes is not a bad person, and we should not blame him for his father’s crimes. I cannot speak for my Dad, but I can assure you, he will find the villain Six Eyes.”
I held my breath, pausing for just enough time for the crowd to register my words.
“And bring him to justice.”
When I turned to open my door, the spell was broken, more questions thrown at me.
“Millie, is it true you have not inherited your father’s abilities?”
Someone else screamed in my face, and I choked down a yell.
“Millie Myers, can you tell us more about your father’s interrogation?!”
I shrugged. “I don't know. He's just talking to him.”
“Millie!” A wide eyed redhead followed me, stumbling over my mother’s rose garden.
When he carelessly stamped on a blooming rose, I resisted the urge to shove him back. He looked like an ammateur, a college kid, maybe, armed with just his iPhone and a dream.
The guy got close.
Too close for comfort, swiping at my jacket.
His breath was just coffee and cigarettes. “Are you aware of the photos floating around of you and Kai Hendrix, the son of Oculus? Can you confirm that you are in a relationship?”
A younger woman threw herself in front of him.
“Miss Myers, is there a reason why your brother does not come outside–”
Ignoring them, I opened the door, stepped inside our house, and slammed it behind me. Once inside, I let myself breathe, dropping my backpack and pulling off my jacket. There was a folded square of paper tucked into my pocket.
I pulled it out and ripped it into pieces. There were exactly 1,370 tally marks carved into our front door. With a rusty nail, I scratched another tally, crossing a group of four. 1,371 days.
Kicking off my shoes, I strode into the downstairs living room.
“I'm home.” I told my twin brother.
Ethan Myers was born three minutes after me. We weren't classed as identical twins, but Mom was convinced we were.
Both of us had thick brown hair, bearing our mother’s soft features. While I kept mine in a strict ponytail, Ethan’s had grown out lighter and curlier than mine, hanging in dark eyes. Ethan was the Myers twin who was not in the town’s spotlight.
My brother was in his usual place, sitting on the couch, knees pressed to his chest, half lidded eyes glued to the corpse of our TV. The screen had been hollowed out a long time ago. I skipped into the kitchen and filled a glass of orange juice, took a quick sip, and headed over to my brother, pressing the drink to his lips.
Ethan didn't respond for a moment, before his lazy eyes rolled to me, life erupting into his expression. He gulped it down, juice trickling down his chin.
When I withdrew the glass, he shot me a grateful smile. I winced when he straightened up, the sound of jingling metal sending me stumbling back.
“Thanks, Mills.”
He held up his right hand, just like when we were little kids. “High five?”
I ignored his childlike grin, hollowed out eyes penetrating right through me.
Ethan was never looking at me. He was always looking over my shoulder. But when I followed his gaze, there was nothing there. I ruffled his hair, resisting the urge to wrap my arms around him.
But I had to keep my distance.
I stepped back, my gaze trailing the ceiling. “Where's Dad?”
Ethan’s eyes travelled back to the TV, his lips pricking into a smile.
“Basement.” He said. “Daddy is interrogating the villain’s son.”
I nodded, pulling my Switch from my bag and dropping it into his lap.
It used to be Ethan’s. In fact, he had carved his initials into the back. “You can play with this, you know." I forced out, trying to stop my hands from trembling.
“You don't have to keep…” I turned to the shattered TV screen, my heart catapulting into my mouth. Ethan didn't look at me, his gaze boring into the TV.
He didn't respond, so I headed towards the basement door.
But not before my brother let out a hysterical giggle.
When I turned to him, Ethan was seventeen years old, laughing at invisible cartoons.
“Do you expect me to play with no fucking hands?”
I didn't, or couldn't, reply.
“Hey, Millie?” Ethan hummed, when I pulled open the basement door.
The chill that followed set my nerve endings on fire. My brother’s voice was deeper, no longer the childish giggle I'd gotten used to. In the corner of my eye, his head turned towards me. Standing on the threshold for a fraction of a second, I think part of me wondered if Ethan’s mind had pieced itself back together.
“Mom wants juice too.”
My twin’s voice was suddenly so small. “Can you get her some?”
I pretended not to hear him, skipping down to the basement, ignoring how cold each step was, the ingrained red dried into concrete. The best part of my day was visiting my father while he was working. I held my breath, easing my way down each step. “Hey, Dad?” I called, easing myself through the dark.
I always made sure to announce my presence. “Daddy.” I pulled my lips into the biggest, cheesiest smile. “I'm home.”
“Pumpkin!” Dad’s voice echoed from the bottom of the stairs. “How's my favorite girl doing?”
Moving further down the stairs, I could hear screaming.
Wailing.
Sobbing.
There were specific rules I had to abide by when stepping inside the basement.
I had to be extra quiet if my father was doing superhero business. Over the years, though, Dad had relaxed the rules a little. When I pushed through the plastic sheeting, Daddy had already opened up the boy’s head. It's not like I was surprised. He'd moved away from the interrogation stage a long time ago.
Star-man stood in a simple suit and tie, a white coat draped over.
My father was young for his age, dark brown hair and pale features.
Cartwright didn't look so good, lying on his back, his half lidded gaze glued to the ceiling.
I could see sharp red spilled across the floor and the bed he was strapped to.
Star-man loomed over him, cradling the boy’s jerking head between blood slicked gloves. The closer I got, I could see the exposed meat of the boy’s brain leaking from the pearly white of his skull.
Closer.
Cartwright's body was quaking, his wrists straining against velcro straps.
My father’s fingers gently stroked across the pink of his brain, tiny sparks of electricity bleeding from his index. Star-man's grin widened, and I watched the villain’s son writhing under his touch.
I could see the tiny sparks of electricity running from Dad’s fingers, forcing his victim into submission. The villain’s son’s eyes rolled back, a wet sounding sob escaping his lips. He was still conscious, and could feel everything.
Star-man lifted his head, his eyes finding me.
“Sweetie! How was school?”
He let go of Cartwright's head, delicately changing his gloves for brand new clinical white ones. “Your teacher called about a certain test you have been trying to avoid.” Dad tutted, swiping his bloody hands on his coat.
When Cartwright tried to wrench from the bed, he knocked the kid back down with a laugh. “Millie, I did say, there will be consequences if you flunk your tests.”
He gestured for me to come closer with a blood drenched glove, and I did.
Star-man prodded a single finger into the raw flesh of Cartwright's brain, and the boy screamed, writhing, blood running thick from his nose. “Do I need to take your phone away, hmm? How about the school trip to New York? Millie, I don't have to sign the permission slip.” He turned back to the villain’s son, hanging over the boy with a laugh.
“What do you think?” He cleared his throat.
When Dad nodded at me, I laughed too. “Young Mr Cartwright, the human brain does not have nerves, so I don't know why you're screaming. It is quite embarrassing for a boy of your age.”
He slapped the boy’s cheek playfully, and Cartwright wailed.
1,400 days, I thought, watching my father torture the teenage boy.
1,400 days since Star-man walked into our house, burned down our door, and announced himself as our new father.
I was thirteen years old in middle school.
Ethan and I were watching TV in the living room, and there he was.
Star-man, with his signature grin, standing between the melted remnants of our front door.
Stella, our little sister, squeaked in delight.
“Star-man!” She jumped off of the couch.
Ethan gently dragged her back, holding her to his chest.
“Hey, Mom?” He yelled, his voice shaking.
“There's someone at the door.”
Star-man chuckled, taking a step inside our hallway.
“Oh, no, I'm not here for your mother.”
1,400 days since he murdered our mother, lasering her head cleanly from her shoulders when she threw herself in front of us and begged him to take her.
There was wet warmth running across the concrete floor. I barely noticed, hopping over it.
1,400 days since Star-man burned our little sister alive in front of our eyes.
Star-man didn't want three children.
He wanted two.
1,400 days since our father nailed wooden planks over the door, announcing Ethan and I as his legacies.
Ethan started to spiral. He tried to escape out his bedroom window, and then more dangerously, jumping off of the roof of our house, and that just made our father angry. He burned a hole in the TV, and then hollowed out the screen.
Star-man just wanted a son and a daughter. That's what he told my brother.
He could not procreate because of the mutation causing his ability. But he had always wanted children.
Star-man promised us he was going to be the best father anyone would ask for.
And he was.
100 days after murdering our mother and sister, Ethan and I were plunged into the town’s spotlight.
“These are my children!” Star-man told a crowd of flashing cameras.
He wrapped his arms around the two of us, pulling us closer.
*“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like you to meet Millie and Ethan Myers from my first marriage.”
Star-man addressed the crowd with earnest eyes.
“I know what you're thinking, and no, these two are little rascals,” he ruffled our hair a little too hard, and I made sure to laugh and smile and not cry. “Millie and Ethan do not share my abilities.”
His lips spread into a grin.
“Yet.”
That word had been hanging over me since the press-conference.
Yet.
Presently, Dad was crawling in my head again.
Smile, Millie!.
I did, smiling so much, blood pooled from my lips.
Dad promised neither of us would be sad again. We wouldn't fear him or anything else. In fact, we were going to be happy, smiling, perfect children forever, his shining legacies he would dangle in front of the town on our eighteenth birthday.
It was his birthday present to us, and I was so excited.
The closer I was getting to my father, I could sense him fashioning my smile, wider and wider, until I couldn't breathe.
He didn't care that I was bleeding.
That my eyes were stinging.
All he cared about was that I loved him as my father.
“Come here, Millie.”
I forced myself forwards, swallowing vomit filling the back of my mouth.
If I screamed, I would end up like my brother. Ethan was on a permanent time out until his 18th birthday. Star-man was yet to forgive my twin trying to stab him at Thanksgiving dinner. Dad said Ethan’s mental state was puberty, but I was more akin to believing it was a mixture of trauma, as well as our father’s attempt to poison my brother with powers at fourteen years old which almost killed him. Dad was smart enough to stop the procedure before he killed his only son.
I blinked, my legs buckling, footsteps faltering.
Sometimes I think I can pull away from his influence.
“Millie Myers.” Dad hummed, skimming his finger across a variety of scalpels. Cartwright watched him feverishly. “Don't make me ask again, Pumpkiiiiin.”
Still.
I felt my thoughts start to melt away, replaced with artificial happiness choking me. Our father was the best Dad in the whole world. I wouldn't ask for any other father, and I didn't even miss my mother!
With that thought slamming into me, I skipped over to my father with a grin.
Around him were rejects, corpses piled to the ceiling, limbs and heads and torso’s contorted and merged into one mass of gore.
Human’s he attempted to turn into minions.
But there were also successful villains.
The Cerebral Drainer, and Rat Face had been ripped apart and put back together again. Dad was saving them for a quiet day. The Myers basement was my father’s workshop. When I joined his side, he ran his fingers over Cartwright's skull.
I was surprised when the villain’s son let out a sudden, hysterical giggle, his eyes rolling to pearly whites. “What are you doing to him?” I asked, intrigued, running my hands over the boy’s restraints. This time, Cartwright's body contorted into an arch, maniacal laughter escaping his lips.
When his back slammed into metal, the ground rumbled.
“Now, what is funny, hmm?” Star-man asked in a low hum.
The boy responded by spitting in his face, shrieking with giggles.
Dad cleared his throat, swiping blood from his cheek.
“That's not funny.”
I was keenly aware of several instruments dangling above my head.
Cartwright's body jolted, and they hit the ground.
Dad turned his attention to me. “What is your nightmare of a brother doing, young lady?”
His words shattered part of his influence.
I felt my breath start to quicken, my heart starting to pound.
Fear.
Ethan hadn't moved in days, weeks, months.
Glued to that one seat, caught inside his own delusion.
Ethan was watching TV when Mom’s brains were splattered across the walls.
He was watching TV when our little sister’s flesh bubbled into the living room carpet.
“Ethan is watching TV.” I hummed, “What are you doing to the villain’s son?” I pointed to the boy’s contorting fingers. They turned clockwise, straining under harsh velcro straps.
Cartwright was trying to twist off my head like a bottletop. I was lucky to have my father’s protection.
Dad shot me a grin. “Well, you see, Millie.” He said, shoving the hysterical boy back onto the bed. Madness. I saw it in his eyes, igniting every part of his face, running through his nerve endings.
That is what made a villain, what we all saw on the local news.
It was the loss of humanity, logic quite literally burned from the brain stem.
Complete, unbridled euphoria, accepting insanity.
I had already seen this exact look.
The Cerebral Drainer’s psychotic grin.
Rat Face’s all too familiar and horrific chittering laugh.
Six Eyes’s Alice In Wonderland smile.
Dad rocked the boy’s head back and forth. Cartwright giggled along, his gaze finding nothing, penetrating nothing. His hands went limp, and he gave up trying to yank my brain from my skull. “We can't have heroes without villains, can we?”
I reached out, poking the boy in the face.
“So, he's like his father?”
Dad almost looked like a proud father. “Oh, no, honey, he's better than his father. He's already setting an example.” Starman nudged me playfully. “Your father would not exist without the bad guys,” he said, tracing a finger over the boy’s cheek. “We’re just lucky we have a town full of naive fuck-wits.”
Cartwright laughed harder. Hard enough to send him toppling off of the bed with a wet, meaty sounding smack.
I was partially aware of my body reacting. My breaths quickened, a thick slime creeping up my throat. I think I stepped back. I think I almost screamed.
I forgot his head was hanging open, half of his brains leaking out.
But I don't think Cartwright needed a brain anymore.
Whatever was left of it was blackened, thick, poisoned streaks running up down what had been healthy pink and grey.
My Dad scooped him up, and plonked him back onto ice cold steel.
His evil laugh was fake, manufactured, programmed directly into his mind.
Part of me wondered if this was his father’s fate too.
Six Eyes.
Was he a result of my father’s experiments?
The crazy thing is, the more I want to scream, my chest heaving, fear starting to gnaw away at me, the stronger my father’s influence is. The villain’s son was stitched back up with not even a hair out of place and thrown into the back with the other finished minions.
If he recovered well, Cartwright, son of Six Eyes, would be going on a town rampage very soon.
Well, he was the villain’s son after all.
Instead of screaming, I smiled.
Dad taught me everything about cutting up humans. Human brains were so easy to manipulate.
Because humans were bad.
The people like my Dad were better.
I grabbed a scalpel, sticking it into Cartwright's hand.
His whimper of pain collapsing into hysterical laughter didn't give me hope.
If he reacted positively to a blade going through his skin, he wasn't worth saving.
Once that thought crossed my mind, however, I REALLY LOVED MY DAD.
The mental declaration almost sent me to my knees.
“Go upstairs and do your homework.” Dad said, wheeling Cartwright into the back room. “I'll be upstairs to cook dinner in ten minutes.”
“Sure, dad.”
His influence was like a wire wrapped around my throat.
Squeezing.
“Oh, and Millie?”
I didn't turn around. “Yes?”
“Chocolate or strawberry for your birthday cake?”
I froze, my smile stretching right across my face.
He knew my answer. Dad baked us a cake 4 hours after I trashed the slimy remnants of my little sister. Star-man forced me to peel my sister from the carpet and dump her in a trash bag.
I could still smell her charred flesh hanging in the air.
Star-man made a giant chocolate cake and frosting.
He made us eat every single morsel.
Every bite was agonising.
“Chocolate, Daddy.” I said, swallowing my lunch.
Dad chuckled, and somewhere in the back, Cartwright started laughing.
Starting as quiet giggles, they became full on guffaws.
Star-man ignored him.
“That's right, Princess.”
I nodded, heading back up the stairs.
Greeting my brother, I cranked the Alexa to full volume.
I always listen to music when I'm doing my homework.
Filling a glass of water, I held it to Ethan’s lips with three fingers.
Ethan downed it in three gulps, and then nodded in one single motion.
Star-man may be a highly intelligent psychopath, but he is yet to notice my brother is not as brain dead as he thinks.
Yes, he still watches TV.
But he's also thinking.
Dad is under the impression my twin doesn't need to be under his control.
But Ethan has been planning.
And slowly, over days, weeks, months, he has been putting together our escape plan.
It has been 1,400 days since Ethan and I tried to escape our father.
1,370 days since we started to scratch our days of captivity into the door.
10 days until we turn eighteen.
Four days until we get the fuck out of here.

How do you guys spend your birthday? How do you manage time if there are many peeps wanting to meet you on a single day? (I am not famous btw just an ordinary middle class guy, its just i’m having good relations with many)
Both my school and college friends kept a surprise party for me (separately) without asking me but i wanna spend my day with my parents. My dad gifted me a car today. I feel like spending full day at home with my family and relatives but if i reject my friend’s request then they will feel sad. Ofcourse they will all understand being matured. But still how difficult is the birth day. A lot of wishes and happiness, meanwhile….. a lot to of stuff to do, lot of places to visit, lots of peeps to meet.
Earlier i used to divide my time like visiting friends groups for 3-3 hours but today i’m 1 hour drive away from Delhi.

Khloé arrives at Kris's house. Kris thinks she might be losing her hearing. (You'll remember that they did an episode of KUWTK where Kris thought Caitlyn might be losing her hearing but was actually just ignoring them all.) Kris trips over some idioms -- they've spoken about her habit of doing that on the show before, too. Scott arrives. Khloé tells Scott that he's getting too thin, which is ironic because not only does she hate it when people comment on her weight, but in the last season she was telling him he was getting too fat. They go to pains to suggest that Scott lost weight by changing his unhealthy habits but we all saw the Mounjaro™️ in the fridge. We're on Kardashian Standard Time so we've jumped from July to October in two episodes and Kim's birthday is coming up. Khloé called this meeting, but she can't stay because she has to go and be a hands-on mother.
∙
Kim is on her way to jury duty. Despite the fact that she wants to be a lawyer, the thought of sitting in a courtroom for hours and hours is anathema to her. She told her kids that she would be put in jail herself if she was late ... which is hilarious because no-one as rich as she is ever serves time. Kim then jokes that she might end up on an episode of Snapped if her kids demand even one more second of her attention. Like any other working single mother, she laments being unable to do something as simple as wash her hair without being interrupted ... and she might not even be able to find a few days to go to Turks and Caicos for her birthday; it's that bad.
∙
Kendall arrives at Kris's house. Kendall is a huge fan of The Golden Bachelor and Kris is a huge fan of vertical integration so she's arranged for Gerry to come over for dinner. (The Golden Bachelor airs on ABC, a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Co., parent company of Hulu, which airs The Kardashians.) Kendall saw who won when she was scrolling through Gerry's phone to call his daughter and spoils the show for herself. Kris asks Gerry about hearing aids. I don't remember a time when the show has been this boring.
∙
Across town, Kourtney has asked for her doctor's permission to do an absolutely necessary photoshoot. She's wearing a special blanket to protect the baby from the radiation from her laptop while a hair stylist sprays flammable chemicals onto her head. Kourtney has some smoothies from her Erewhon collaboration on hand to stave off nausea. The scar on her stomach from the fetal surgery only serves to highlight just how crazy it is that she risked her baby's life for something so unnecessary. At this time, she would have been about 38 weeks pregnant.
∙
Kim spends the car ride on the way to jury duty on the phone to a friend, venting about how hard it is to have four kids. She doesn't want to them to be spoiled but can't say 'no' to them as they whine and cry when they don't get their way because teaching them how to have an appropriate emotional response is beyond the scope of her parenting abilities and above the nannies' pay grade.
∙
Kris and Khloé arrive at Scott's house to meet Penelope's new puppy. Probably best not to ask what happened to their last dog, who couldn't have been more than four years old... Kris is dressed head-to-toe in Khy's plastic leather when it's got to be 80ºF outside. Scott grills Khloé about her dating life. Khloé says she can't date because she is such a hands-on mother. But now Tristan is living somewhere else, she will have some privacy so might consider it ... eventually.
∙
Kris arrives at her otorhinolaryngologist's office. For some reason Kendall and Scott are also there. Kris insists on being tested for a throat infection because she has a sore throat sometimes. Kendall reminisces about the time she got $6k braces on her teeth just because she wanted them which is up there with the time Bella Hadid said she didn't own a pair of Louboutins until after High School for out-of-touchness. After exhaustive testing, it turns out that Kris doesn't need a hearing aid.
∙
At Khloé's house, Khloé is doing glam for Kim's birthday dinner. Khloé FaceTimes everyone else while they are doing glam for Kim's birthday dinner. Khloé's nanny has been with her for over a year and this is the first time she's put the kids to bed because Khloé is such a hands-on mother. By contrast, Kim left the house without even saying goodbye to her kids. And Kris once left Kendall and Kylie at a Christmas tree farm. They call Kourtney and talk about Naked Attraction, a dating show in the UK where the contestants are totally naked. (They spoke about it in last week's episode when they were in Paris for Fashion Week, which in real time was three weeks ago.) They body shame the contestants...again. They get to the venue ten minutes early which irks Kim because she told the paparazzi she would be there at 8pm sharp. The guest list includes Donald Trump's daughter, Jeff Bezos's fiancée, Justin Bieber's wife and Russell Simmons's ex-wife -- basically anyone with proximity to power and wealth but no actual power or wealth is there. Oh and also Kim's friends. Kris gives a toast. Kylie showed up an hour late.
∙
Next time on The Kardashians:
Kim finds another excuse to spend time away from her kids. Malika wants to have more kids so Khloé takes her to a sperm bank. Kim vows to get her shit together and discipline her kids ... after she gets back from another work trip.