2 girls one cup
Slowcooking: Slow and Steady Wins the Race
2010.11.03 18:01 mmmyum Slowcooking: Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Slowcooking is a food-related subreddit for sharing ideas, recipes or pictures in which a "Crock-Pot®" style slow cooker was used. Slow cooking is an ideal method for cooking less expensive portions of meat to make them more tender and tasty than by other forms of cookery. Vegetarian and vegan dishes can also be made via slow cooking. - crockpot, slowcooker, crock, crock-pot, slow cooker
2010.02.27 05:23 Meades_Loves_Memes r/teenagers
teenagers is the biggest community forum run by teenagers for teenagers. Our subreddit is primarily for discussions and memes that an average teenager would enjoy to discuss about. We do not have any age-restriction in place but do keep in mind this is targeted for users between the ages of 13 to 19. Parents, teachers, and the like are welcomed to participate and ask any questions!
2014.01.03 03:49 dankmemes
D A N K
2024.05.14 19:22 SlashCash29 The major theodicies fail under scrutiny
I could probably go on a limb and assume everyone here knows what the problem of evil is, but just in case:
Premise 1: The bible describes god as all powerful and all good
Premise 2: god doesn't like evil (Psalm 5:4) (Proverbs 8:13)
And when I use the word "evil" think of all the things god says not to do. From getting a divorce to being gay to wearing mixed linens. Y'know, all that depraved stuff that's worthy of death!!! UwU (seriously though when I say "evil" I just mean anything outlined as "sin")
Premise 3: god (probably) doesn't like suffering(while I couldn't find any verses where god explicitly says he doesn't like human suffering, Revelation 21:4 at least implies that he plans to do away with it and it does stand to reason that an all-good, all-loving god would be opposed to suffering)
Premise 4: There's a lot of evil and suffering in the world. Like, a lot
Premise 5: if an all powerful and all good god existed he wouldn't make a world with so much evil and suffering
Conclusion: The god described in the bible does not exist
Easily the most popular and easiest to explain argument against god, but one that has long been contested and argued against. Which is where theodicies come in. Theodicies are arguments that attempt to prove god has some reason to allow evil and suffering to exist.
In this post I will attempt to disprove the major theodicies, proving the problem of evil to be a logically coherent argument against the existence of god.
Let's start with the one I dislike the most: God allows evil in order to facilitate higher order goods
Now, let's set aside how appalling, emotionally speaking, the idea that a world where people get beheaded and gored and burned alive has more moral value than a world with none of these evils because of "Higher order goods" or something, actually is.
This argument is also logically bankrupt. For evil to be justified under this theodicy, it must allow for some higher order good to obtain. There's no way for bravery to exist without fear. So that particular evil is necessary for bravery to exist. With this in mind, answer me this:
What Higher order good can ONLY be brought about when an earthquake makes a building collapse on a family of five, or when an infant chokes to death on a particularly large lego brick. What good could possibly come from somebody getting struck by lightning and dying with 3rd degree burns and charred skin(it may not happen often but it happens) or when a Muslim girl is publicly executed for trying to learn how to read?
Set humans aside for a minute and consider animal suffering. What good can come about from a tree falling on a deer's leg? While it starves to death with a broken limb in agony, where nobody can hear it's cries. What good is achieved by this? When an antelope has it's throat crushed in a lion's mouth, why would a good god allow this cruelty? If an evil thing cannot facilitate some higher order good it can't be justified by this theodicy. So tell me: what higher order good's can only come from these?
Aside from this, consider the fact that there is no evil in heaven. To be philosophically consistent, one would have to claim that our world has more moral value than heaven because it has goods that can't exist in heaven. Heaven, being eternal and all, is the last stop for god's children, so if this is where the righteous are meant to live forever, and god truly believed a world with the higher order goods facilitated by evil is better than a world without evil, then why isn't there evil in heaven?
Finally, consider that evil did not exist in the world before the original sin. It was only after Adam and Eve's slip-up that the hearts of man became utterly evil or something. So if you believe that god wanted evil to exist in the world, and acknowledge that evil didn't and couldn't exist until Adam and Eve ate the possibly metaphorical apple, you must then be committed to the belief that god punished Adam and Eve for something he wanted them to do.
The Second Theodicy: God allows evil because without it, we would have no concept of good.
This argument states that evil is to good what shadow is to light; the former is simply an absence of the latter and one cannot be appreciated without the other, or, as put by C.S Lewis: "A man has no concept of a straight line unless he has seen a crooked one."
This isn't as much of a slam dunk as it sounds like on first glance once you consider that before the fall of man we had neither a concept of good nor evil. In an ideal state of affairs god was totally cool with us having no concept of good and since he actively discouraged Adam and Eve from committing the original sin, one can even argue he actively didn't want them to have such a concept.
Also, once again, there's no evil in heaven. So it's either the case that good can be appreciated without evil, or it really just doesn't matter that much.
Lastly, the moment we've all the waiting for, the one I like the most. the theodicy based on a concept that doesn't actually exist. Make some noise for: The free will theodicy.
This one is pretty self explanatory. God allows evil because, even though he doesn't like it when we do bad things, he respects our freedom and wants us to choose him for ourselves.
Two teeny-tiny problems with this: 1. Unless there is no free will in heaven, it is possible to have free will without committing acts of evil and 2. Free will in our world just doesn't exist.
I recognize the second claim needs a little more explaining:
Premise 1: All mental activity(whether material or immaterial for those of you believe believe in the soul) is either determined or indetermined.
Premise 2: If some particular mental activity is indetermined it is, by definition, random and out of our control. If it is determined then it is either determined by something outside our self and thereby not free will either, or determined by something further inside ourselves, in which case we can ask the same questions to figure out if that something is determined or indetermined. So on so and so forth until all causal chains with eventually terminate at something we can't control.
Conclusion: There is no free will.
With this done I hope I have provided a convincing argument for The problem of evil and against the Christian god and would be elated to hear rebuttals. In addition to this I would be curious to see if Muslims have some sort of way around this problem exclusive to their faith or something. Thanks in advance for the Civilized discussion. :)
submitted by SlashCash29 to DebateReligion [link] [comments]
Premise 1: The bible describes god as all powerful and all good
Premise 2: god doesn't like evil (Psalm 5:4) (Proverbs 8:13)
And when I use the word "evil" think of all the things god says not to do. From getting a divorce to being gay to wearing mixed linens. Y'know, all that depraved stuff that's worthy of death!!! UwU (seriously though when I say "evil" I just mean anything outlined as "sin")
Premise 3: god (probably) doesn't like suffering(while I couldn't find any verses where god explicitly says he doesn't like human suffering, Revelation 21:4 at least implies that he plans to do away with it and it does stand to reason that an all-good, all-loving god would be opposed to suffering)
Premise 4: There's a lot of evil and suffering in the world. Like, a lot
Premise 5: if an all powerful and all good god existed he wouldn't make a world with so much evil and suffering
Conclusion: The god described in the bible does not exist
Easily the most popular and easiest to explain argument against god, but one that has long been contested and argued against. Which is where theodicies come in. Theodicies are arguments that attempt to prove god has some reason to allow evil and suffering to exist.
In this post I will attempt to disprove the major theodicies, proving the problem of evil to be a logically coherent argument against the existence of god.
Let's start with the one I dislike the most: God allows evil in order to facilitate higher order goods
Now, let's set aside how appalling, emotionally speaking, the idea that a world where people get beheaded and gored and burned alive has more moral value than a world with none of these evils because of "Higher order goods" or something, actually is.
This argument is also logically bankrupt. For evil to be justified under this theodicy, it must allow for some higher order good to obtain. There's no way for bravery to exist without fear. So that particular evil is necessary for bravery to exist. With this in mind, answer me this:
What Higher order good can ONLY be brought about when an earthquake makes a building collapse on a family of five, or when an infant chokes to death on a particularly large lego brick. What good could possibly come from somebody getting struck by lightning and dying with 3rd degree burns and charred skin(it may not happen often but it happens) or when a Muslim girl is publicly executed for trying to learn how to read?
Set humans aside for a minute and consider animal suffering. What good can come about from a tree falling on a deer's leg? While it starves to death with a broken limb in agony, where nobody can hear it's cries. What good is achieved by this? When an antelope has it's throat crushed in a lion's mouth, why would a good god allow this cruelty? If an evil thing cannot facilitate some higher order good it can't be justified by this theodicy. So tell me: what higher order good's can only come from these?
Aside from this, consider the fact that there is no evil in heaven. To be philosophically consistent, one would have to claim that our world has more moral value than heaven because it has goods that can't exist in heaven. Heaven, being eternal and all, is the last stop for god's children, so if this is where the righteous are meant to live forever, and god truly believed a world with the higher order goods facilitated by evil is better than a world without evil, then why isn't there evil in heaven?
Finally, consider that evil did not exist in the world before the original sin. It was only after Adam and Eve's slip-up that the hearts of man became utterly evil or something. So if you believe that god wanted evil to exist in the world, and acknowledge that evil didn't and couldn't exist until Adam and Eve ate the possibly metaphorical apple, you must then be committed to the belief that god punished Adam and Eve for something he wanted them to do.
The Second Theodicy: God allows evil because without it, we would have no concept of good.
This argument states that evil is to good what shadow is to light; the former is simply an absence of the latter and one cannot be appreciated without the other, or, as put by C.S Lewis: "A man has no concept of a straight line unless he has seen a crooked one."
This isn't as much of a slam dunk as it sounds like on first glance once you consider that before the fall of man we had neither a concept of good nor evil. In an ideal state of affairs god was totally cool with us having no concept of good and since he actively discouraged Adam and Eve from committing the original sin, one can even argue he actively didn't want them to have such a concept.
Also, once again, there's no evil in heaven. So it's either the case that good can be appreciated without evil, or it really just doesn't matter that much.
Lastly, the moment we've all the waiting for, the one I like the most. the theodicy based on a concept that doesn't actually exist. Make some noise for: The free will theodicy.
This one is pretty self explanatory. God allows evil because, even though he doesn't like it when we do bad things, he respects our freedom and wants us to choose him for ourselves.
Two teeny-tiny problems with this: 1. Unless there is no free will in heaven, it is possible to have free will without committing acts of evil and 2. Free will in our world just doesn't exist.
I recognize the second claim needs a little more explaining:
Premise 1: All mental activity(whether material or immaterial for those of you believe believe in the soul) is either determined or indetermined.
Premise 2: If some particular mental activity is indetermined it is, by definition, random and out of our control. If it is determined then it is either determined by something outside our self and thereby not free will either, or determined by something further inside ourselves, in which case we can ask the same questions to figure out if that something is determined or indetermined. So on so and so forth until all causal chains with eventually terminate at something we can't control.
Conclusion: There is no free will.
With this done I hope I have provided a convincing argument for The problem of evil and against the Christian god and would be elated to hear rebuttals. In addition to this I would be curious to see if Muslims have some sort of way around this problem exclusive to their faith or something. Thanks in advance for the Civilized discussion. :)
2024.05.14 19:21 ThrowRa-Huckleberr How should I [24M] respond to my [24F] Girlfriend recent changes placed on our intimate life ?
My [24F] Girlfriend and I [24M] has been dating for 2 years.Somedays during the night when we're just alone with one another either watching movies or spending quality time I would either ask for consent or initiate sexual actions. We pretty much had sexual engagements with each other almost every weekend because of her work schedule so we would place discipline during the week then express ourselves on the weekend on how much we have missed each other sexually . If it wasnt me who first initiated then she would express herself , at first she told me that she would not initiate because she loves when I initiate such actions because she is shy and I would reassure her that there is nothing to be shy about when we're together .
Then our sex life would turn into every couple weeks , I did not pay that much mind towards the change in our schedule because I knew that we are both busy bodies and needs our rest . Fast forward , those every couple weeks would turn into once a month and I am fine with that too , I happened to make it a topic every time I noticed the change with our intimacy and I would receive reasonings like "i am too tired right now" so i would just let it pass after a while and simply wait on her to express how much she have missed me .
Once a month with each other would turn into every 2-3 months later and throughout all those times that I voiced my feelings on those changes , she either told me that she feels as though her routine is out of wack . I agreed and decided to let her work on those changes , next , she told me that even if we do not engage in sexual acts does not mean that she doesn't want me , I agreed .
Aftera while , those sexual acts would start back up because of her initiating it , once we had sex together I talked about how long I have waited for her and she told me how she thought i would have ventured off somewhere else for sex because of how long she let me wait for her and i reassured her that i would never cheat because of No sex. 3 months later again no sex , i spoke to her about it and she finally told me that its because of her Low libido . I was kind of disappointed . She reassured me that it was not because of attraction either , that it was not me , its her and how she feels its her hormonal imbalance and will go to the doctor .She went to the doctor and got a checkup, everything is fine and normal about her , but she also got blood checkups.
Somehow we happened to have that conversation again yesterday and she told me that , she do miss me sometimes its just the fact that she does not want to tease me or lead me on and cannot act on it, also the fact that she is frustrated how she can not find the answer to her low libido . She also pondered on the fact that i would break up with her because of her low libido and do not want to be a burden . So i had questioned her if this is the start of our celibacy journey so that i can not have anymore expectations of sexual acts from her , she told me maybe and that it will be decided once she receives her blood results . How should i respond or go about these changes placed on our sex life ?
submitted by ThrowRa-Huckleberr to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Then our sex life would turn into every couple weeks , I did not pay that much mind towards the change in our schedule because I knew that we are both busy bodies and needs our rest . Fast forward , those every couple weeks would turn into once a month and I am fine with that too , I happened to make it a topic every time I noticed the change with our intimacy and I would receive reasonings like "i am too tired right now" so i would just let it pass after a while and simply wait on her to express how much she have missed me .
Once a month with each other would turn into every 2-3 months later and throughout all those times that I voiced my feelings on those changes , she either told me that she feels as though her routine is out of wack . I agreed and decided to let her work on those changes , next , she told me that even if we do not engage in sexual acts does not mean that she doesn't want me , I agreed .
Aftera while , those sexual acts would start back up because of her initiating it , once we had sex together I talked about how long I have waited for her and she told me how she thought i would have ventured off somewhere else for sex because of how long she let me wait for her and i reassured her that i would never cheat because of No sex. 3 months later again no sex , i spoke to her about it and she finally told me that its because of her Low libido . I was kind of disappointed . She reassured me that it was not because of attraction either , that it was not me , its her and how she feels its her hormonal imbalance and will go to the doctor .She went to the doctor and got a checkup, everything is fine and normal about her , but she also got blood checkups.
Somehow we happened to have that conversation again yesterday and she told me that , she do miss me sometimes its just the fact that she does not want to tease me or lead me on and cannot act on it, also the fact that she is frustrated how she can not find the answer to her low libido . She also pondered on the fact that i would break up with her because of her low libido and do not want to be a burden . So i had questioned her if this is the start of our celibacy journey so that i can not have anymore expectations of sexual acts from her , she told me maybe and that it will be decided once she receives her blood results . How should i respond or go about these changes placed on our sex life ?
2024.05.14 19:21 No_Message5680 SHIBA 2.0 IS THE ONLY ONE THAT IS PUMPIN
 | submitted by No_Message5680 to SHIBArmy [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 19:21 throwaway54888585 Does depression make you numb towards great people/friends?
Short summary: 2.5 months ago I met an amazing girl, developed feelings for her pretty fast, and later it turns out my feelings seem justified because there is so much similar between us like I've never had someone I could relate to so much. Anyways, pretty shortly after I met her I started going downhill mentally (2 months ago) and got sent into a depression and now I'm on meds which aren't yet working well. I've had multiple long talks with her and the first few were much fun but then at later times I stopped caring for some reason. Like, I don't even look forward to seeing her even though she's theoretically speaking amazing and great in every way. When talking, it doesn't do anything for me the past weeks. I just talk to her and feel kinda numb. Is this due to depression? I so wish all of it to come back, I literally don't have friends other than her. She cares for me and is always nice, witty, intelligent etc.
Also that being said I don't get anything out of talking to anyone else either.
submitted by throwaway54888585 to depression [link] [comments]
Also that being said I don't get anything out of talking to anyone else either.
2024.05.14 19:20 EastWestShrine1990 Girls 35th bday dinner and night out
Hi, I will be in Lisbon and going out with 3 friends to celebrate my friends 35th bday on a Wednesday in June. It’s 2 guys and 2 girls (we can spend $$$ on any kind of restaurant). We are looking for a vibey restaurant and then a night out after. Any recommendations are greatly appreciated
submitted by EastWestShrine1990 to lisboa [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 19:20 Guide_to_the_Galaxy_ Just a regular day in Yokohama
A man in his 40s materializes in front of a cafe . Apart from having long dark blue hair and wearing a striped towel as a cape, he looked completely ordinary. If one were to take a closer look at him, they would notise he was holding a pair of children's sunglasses. He looks around for a bit before quickly adjusting the strap of his his shoulder bag, tossing the sunglasses onto the street and walking into the cafe.
The man orders himself a cup of tea and goes to sit down at a free table. He opens his bag, which was stuffed full with papers and notebooks, and pulls out a gray notebook with the words "DON'T PANIC" written on its cover. He sets the notebook down on the table and turns back to his bag. He furrows his brows in annoyance as he struggles to find a pen from the paper-filled bag. After some time he finally manages to find one at the very bottom of the bag. He pulls the pen out of the bag, causing some of the papers to fall on the floor. He curses before getting up and crouching down to pick up the papers. He picks up the nearest papers and puts them on the table in a neat pile before reaching for the ones that fell farther under the table.
On top of the pile of papers was a stack of dark blue business cards, tied together with a rubber band. The cards had "Douglas Adams" along with his email an phone number written on them with golden letters.
[OOC: Introducing Douglas Adams (the other one with no connections to a certain Syndicate member of the same name). He's a freelance writer who's travelling around the world to finish one of his personal projects.
Ability: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
When he touches an object he can see a list of places the objects has been in within the last 24 hours along with some information about those places. He can then choose to teleport to one of those places.
I definetly didn't forget to post this. Nooo, of course not. That would be silly.]
submitted by Guide_to_the_Galaxy_ to BungouSimpBattlesRP [link] [comments]
The man orders himself a cup of tea and goes to sit down at a free table. He opens his bag, which was stuffed full with papers and notebooks, and pulls out a gray notebook with the words "DON'T PANIC" written on its cover. He sets the notebook down on the table and turns back to his bag. He furrows his brows in annoyance as he struggles to find a pen from the paper-filled bag. After some time he finally manages to find one at the very bottom of the bag. He pulls the pen out of the bag, causing some of the papers to fall on the floor. He curses before getting up and crouching down to pick up the papers. He picks up the nearest papers and puts them on the table in a neat pile before reaching for the ones that fell farther under the table.
On top of the pile of papers was a stack of dark blue business cards, tied together with a rubber band. The cards had "Douglas Adams" along with his email an phone number written on them with golden letters.
[OOC: Introducing Douglas Adams (the other one with no connections to a certain Syndicate member of the same name). He's a freelance writer who's travelling around the world to finish one of his personal projects.
Ability: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
When he touches an object he can see a list of places the objects has been in within the last 24 hours along with some information about those places. He can then choose to teleport to one of those places.
I definetly didn't forget to post this. Nooo, of course not. That would be silly.]
2024.05.14 19:20 BigGap9930 Broke up with my girlfriend and am conflicted
Hi all - strap in lol..
I (23M) had been seeing a girl (22F) for around 9 months and we became official just touching 7 months ago..
At the beginning, everything was pretty good and I was happy. Around March this year, her effort dramatcially increased. There were a few red flags that I admittedly ignored such as a promiscuous past ( not necassarily a red flag in itself but she was pretty vocal about it which I'll get to ), me being her first boyfriend and from what I could gather, the first guy to treat her well.
For the duration of the 9 months, she didn't plan one single date, she did not get me anything for Valentines day or our 6 month anniversary, when I asked her to join me and my family for dinner for an important milestone in my life ( 1 year sober ) she did not make the effort to be there as she was " too tired " . I got her a nice photo of the two of us framed for our 6 months which she hadn't even bothered to unwrap up to the last time I saw her which was less than a week ago..
I planned every date, paid for 98% percent of them, planned and paid for two holidays which I wouldn't mind doing had she shown effort in other ways.. Like at the beginning, she would make the effort to call me every night which was more than enough for me to know she cared. I'm not a needy bloke, I didn't need gifts and to be wined and dined but something so simple as the phone calls was good for me, but that faded around February..
Things really started to look bleek around the time of our second Holiday which was the beginning of last month. She had been out drinking the night before and told me the next day she had a guy from her class pour liquour into her mouth which persoanally for me, was a boundary crossed that I foolishly ignored. Then, one of the nights on holiday, while drunk, she decided to show me a list she had kept in her notes app of all her past sexual partners and even went as far to tell me how big one of the guys dicks was (upon reflection I should've left her there and then).
Now, don't get me wrong, she was not a demon. She had many moments of showing affection and care, she bought me some nice clothes for Christmas and my birthday aswell as other small but thoughtful gifts and often used to keep my favorite drinks in the fridge for when I came over. But for the mostpart, the effort was just not there and would frequently go hours without snapping me back, and often times wouldn't start an actual verbal conversation ever and there wouldn't be one if I didn't start one..
I brought up the lack of effort to her 3 or 4 times and and told her, if she just wasn't into me it was fine and we could call it quits, but we needed to communicate. Each time she would cry, maintain that she loved me, she wanted me in her life and wanted to be with me. She is super focused on her studies and I told her I totally get it and that I don't expect to come first, and don't want much, but something so simple as the nightly phone call was enough for me to know she cared. Each time she told me she would try and do better but nothing ever changed.
So, this Sunday gone, I couldn't do it anymore and initiated a break up. Once she saw I was serious she kind of scrambled to make it mutual, but I inititated it and I don't think she had intented to finish with me any time soon. I told her nothing has changed and I don't see it changing, she told me she doesn't feel she can give me what I need (which is not very much) or deserve. She said she loves me still and probably always will. The last thing I said to her was, I will miss you, I am thankful for the times we shared, wished her the best of luck with her studies and the rest of her time in my country ( she's not from here) and goodbye. I have since entered a period of no contact with her.
I also don't believe there was another guy on the scene, she was never secretive with her phone and always left her location on, which I never checked as I found that to be unhealthy, but her wilingness to leave it on was fairly reassuring in that regard.
The reason I am conflicted is because, I don't believe she saw it ending and I do believe she had genuine feelings for me, but I couldn't allow myself be disrespected and taken for granted any longer for my own sanitys sake.
What I'm asking is, given it ended amicably, is it hopeless to think that she will realise what she lost and come back and make an effort, or is it dead in the water.. Afterall, even though I ended it, I am in love with her and am finding the no contact incredibly difficult although have no intention of breaking it.
I find it hard to believe she is able to let someone who did and cared so much for her go that easily, but am also aware life is cruel and unforgiving..
I'd really like some non biased opinions on this.. Thanks!
submitted by BigGap9930 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
I (23M) had been seeing a girl (22F) for around 9 months and we became official just touching 7 months ago..
At the beginning, everything was pretty good and I was happy. Around March this year, her effort dramatcially increased. There were a few red flags that I admittedly ignored such as a promiscuous past ( not necassarily a red flag in itself but she was pretty vocal about it which I'll get to ), me being her first boyfriend and from what I could gather, the first guy to treat her well.
For the duration of the 9 months, she didn't plan one single date, she did not get me anything for Valentines day or our 6 month anniversary, when I asked her to join me and my family for dinner for an important milestone in my life ( 1 year sober ) she did not make the effort to be there as she was " too tired " . I got her a nice photo of the two of us framed for our 6 months which she hadn't even bothered to unwrap up to the last time I saw her which was less than a week ago..
I planned every date, paid for 98% percent of them, planned and paid for two holidays which I wouldn't mind doing had she shown effort in other ways.. Like at the beginning, she would make the effort to call me every night which was more than enough for me to know she cared. I'm not a needy bloke, I didn't need gifts and to be wined and dined but something so simple as the phone calls was good for me, but that faded around February..
Things really started to look bleek around the time of our second Holiday which was the beginning of last month. She had been out drinking the night before and told me the next day she had a guy from her class pour liquour into her mouth which persoanally for me, was a boundary crossed that I foolishly ignored. Then, one of the nights on holiday, while drunk, she decided to show me a list she had kept in her notes app of all her past sexual partners and even went as far to tell me how big one of the guys dicks was (upon reflection I should've left her there and then).
Now, don't get me wrong, she was not a demon. She had many moments of showing affection and care, she bought me some nice clothes for Christmas and my birthday aswell as other small but thoughtful gifts and often used to keep my favorite drinks in the fridge for when I came over. But for the mostpart, the effort was just not there and would frequently go hours without snapping me back, and often times wouldn't start an actual verbal conversation ever and there wouldn't be one if I didn't start one..
I brought up the lack of effort to her 3 or 4 times and and told her, if she just wasn't into me it was fine and we could call it quits, but we needed to communicate. Each time she would cry, maintain that she loved me, she wanted me in her life and wanted to be with me. She is super focused on her studies and I told her I totally get it and that I don't expect to come first, and don't want much, but something so simple as the nightly phone call was enough for me to know she cared. Each time she told me she would try and do better but nothing ever changed.
So, this Sunday gone, I couldn't do it anymore and initiated a break up. Once she saw I was serious she kind of scrambled to make it mutual, but I inititated it and I don't think she had intented to finish with me any time soon. I told her nothing has changed and I don't see it changing, she told me she doesn't feel she can give me what I need (which is not very much) or deserve. She said she loves me still and probably always will. The last thing I said to her was, I will miss you, I am thankful for the times we shared, wished her the best of luck with her studies and the rest of her time in my country ( she's not from here) and goodbye. I have since entered a period of no contact with her.
I also don't believe there was another guy on the scene, she was never secretive with her phone and always left her location on, which I never checked as I found that to be unhealthy, but her wilingness to leave it on was fairly reassuring in that regard.
The reason I am conflicted is because, I don't believe she saw it ending and I do believe she had genuine feelings for me, but I couldn't allow myself be disrespected and taken for granted any longer for my own sanitys sake.
What I'm asking is, given it ended amicably, is it hopeless to think that she will realise what she lost and come back and make an effort, or is it dead in the water.. Afterall, even though I ended it, I am in love with her and am finding the no contact incredibly difficult although have no intention of breaking it.
I find it hard to believe she is able to let someone who did and cared so much for her go that easily, but am also aware life is cruel and unforgiving..
I'd really like some non biased opinions on this.. Thanks!
2024.05.14 19:20 redeclipse619 Season 4 Historia critique
Prior to season 4 Historia was one of the best written characters in the show due to her character arc in seasons 2 and 3 which culminated in her standing up for herself and opposing her father, and then taking on the role of queen for her own reasons. However in season 4, not only is she sidelined, only having a handful of seasons during the entire season which is inexcusable itself, but the scenes that she does have goes against her previous character and character arc.
First off (and probably the most minor of her issues) is that her character arc being completed doesn’t justify her absence. Even characters with completed arcs can still have their own moments. Jeans character arc in seasons 1-3 was already completed but he still has his beliefs challenged by the events of the story when he had to choose between choosing the alliance or the Yeagerists (Historia had something similar with the dilemma to help Eren or follow the 50 year plan but this is executed much worse for reasons I’ll be stating later). Flochs character arc was completed in season 3 during the battle of Shiganshina where he formed his world view that it’s necessary to become a devil to protect the people, and wesee the results of that development in season 4 with his extremist behaviors and actions. Both of these characters already had their arcs completed, but they still continued to have great moments.
It can be argued that due to AOT’s plot driven narrative there’s no opportunities for Historia to do anything where as Floch and Jean were still integral to the plot. Although this is true the plot can very easily be expanded to emphasize Historia and her character, and there’s no better opportunity for this than the Yeagerist uprising arc which despite being about the government and political climate of Paradis, but Historia is absent from this except for the creation of the pregnancy plot line despite her being a key police’s figure on Paradis. There’s certainly more room to expand upon this subject. Some would argue that it would ruin the pacing, but I’d say that these additions would be the complete opposite of that. The Marley arc and Yeagerists uprising are by far the shortest arcs of the series each being about 8 episodes. Including more flashbacks and more scenes in the present time would solve other issues with season 4 as well such as the poor world building while still giving room to expand upon Historias character without compromising the pacing. There’s no reason for Historia to be sidelined the way she was. And I’ve seen someone argue that this is a season 4 issue rather than a Historia specific one because several other characters were also put to the side, but the difference between Historia and characters such as Levi and Hange which makes this far worse for Historia in particular is that Historias previous character is ruined as well.
To understand how her character was ruined, we first have to understand Historia as a person before elaborating on how season 4 Historia goes against it. Historias character arc was learning to live a life for herself which she can be proud of. She became Queen for her own reasons not because the military wanted her to, and her primary motive is to help people and it always has been. At first this trait might seem exclusive to Krista, but the primary difference between Krista and Historia is that Historia does what she wants for herself regardless of everyone else whereas Krista seeks validation and approval from others. In this regard Historia is selfish since she does whatever she wants to, disregarding the desires of others, but her goal (which is to help people) is selfless. They’re both kind hearted by nature which is shown countless times during the uprising and prior even as far back as her childhood when she says that she wants to be like the similarly kind Frieda and Krista, and Frieda responds by telling her to be herself. Historias character arc accentuates this trait even further rather than reduce it since Historia’s willing to do what she believes is right regardless of the opinion of others which is best exemplified in the Reiss chapel.
It’s easy to interpret her defiance of Rod as selfish, but once you analyze these scenes it becomes apparent that her goal was to help humanity as well and not just herself. Before her badass worst girl in the world moment she asks Rod why didn’t the previous Founders stop the Titans which shows that she had the rest of humanity in mind. If she didn’t and was thinking entirely selfishly then she’d have no reason to ask this question whatsoever since it wouldn’t affect her. And it’s only after Rod states that the First Kings will possesses the inheritors does she decide to finally fight back against Rod because she realizes that he was only looking after himself. She insults humanity out of resentment towards Rod because he used the “good of humanity” to try to manipulate her into eating Eren. She was opposing her father and his wishes during this moment rather than humanity itself which is supported by her later actions which shows that she still had others in mind. Immediately after this she tells Eren that whenever she sees someone saying that no one needs them, she wants to rescue them, and tell them that it isn’t true which shows her benevolent nature. It’s reinforced in the next chapter (chapter 67) that she was trying to help humanity when she says the Reiss family losing the Founder was a good thing for humanity. This provides additional insight into her thoughts while inside the Reiss chapel. And finally in chapter 70 when Eren states that she became Queen to help people which is shown by her orphanage, and she then explains that she got carried away during her speech at the Reiss chapel.
Given all this, Historia would never support the rumbling OR the 50 year plan. They both go against her views and beliefs (which is why ANR Erehisu sucks as well). She even says herself that she’d never be able to forgive herself if she supported Eren, and yet she concedes to Eren anyways within moments. Historia would never be able to accept either option easily, but this moral dilemma is glossed over with little to no internal conflict. These options would be a last resort, but she never tries to find another solution, she never tries to stop Eren, if anything the exact opposite happens which is shown by her compliance with Eren in chapter 130. Historia would never be able to live with pride after supporting the Rumbling due to the weight of her actions, but she still has a ‘good’ ending with the farmer where she happily smiles with her daughter as if she didn’t directly and willingly assist in the largest atrocity in history despite her previously saying that she’d never be able to forgive herself if she did. Not only is this strange for Historias character, but it’s in extremely poor taste considering the severity of the rumbling especially considering how Eren whos far more unhinged than her is broken and inconsolable by the weight of his actions, but Historia who’s far more humane and less extreme isn’t.
The other major issue is the relationship with the Farmer which has several issues with it. It’s depicted as a forced relationship which she only got into out of political purposes, and some would say that this is intentionally misinterpreting the relationship in a way that portrays it poorly, but this is suggested by the narrative as well. She never shows any love or affection for the man whatsoever, and if anything shows the complete opposite. She frowns and is clearly unhappy in literally every scene she shares with him with the sole exception of when she’s with her daughter which is why so many people theorized that he was a red herring to begin with (Although it can be reasonably concluded that this can be because of the rumbling). Historia has no choice, but to get with someone due to her circumstances. Both the 50 year plan and allowing Eren to commit the rumbling requires her to have a child. Historia only had a child because she had to, otherwise she would have been forced to undertake the 50 year plan, but Historia having a child out of necessity rather than because she wants to is obviously out of character. (Why Isayama took agency from a character who’s arc was learning to have agency I’ll never know) Prior to these scenarios Historia shows no desire to have children or a relationship. The subject is never even brought up and instead replaced with a half assed shitty mystery which was the pregnancy plot line. The only thing indicating that Historia actually wanted to be with the farmer is that she approached him herself, but this can easily be explained as her not wanting to have political bondage to another noble who might have their own agenda, and timeline wise she seems to confront the farmer after her talk with Eren.
This can be fixed by expanding on their relationship and making the farmer an actual character which is entirely possible since Niccolo and Sasha was good despite Niccolo being a new character, and again there’s definitely more room for expanding on this during Season 4 Part 1, but even if you don’t want to give Historia considerably more screentime these issues can still easily be fixed. Just minor tweaks to how the relationship is depicted can fix these issues such as Historia already expressing a desire to be with the farmer BEFORE the 50 year plan is proposed so it seems like she got with him willingly and not due to circumstance or even something as simple as her showing affection for the man, or him consoling her about impending rumbling which would make it clear that Historias depression is caused by the rumbling as well as showing some level of trust and closeness between the two rather than complete indifference which is how the relationship is depicted in canon.
Tldr: why did I write this?
submitted by redeclipse619 to AttackOnRetards [link] [comments]
First off (and probably the most minor of her issues) is that her character arc being completed doesn’t justify her absence. Even characters with completed arcs can still have their own moments. Jeans character arc in seasons 1-3 was already completed but he still has his beliefs challenged by the events of the story when he had to choose between choosing the alliance or the Yeagerists (Historia had something similar with the dilemma to help Eren or follow the 50 year plan but this is executed much worse for reasons I’ll be stating later). Flochs character arc was completed in season 3 during the battle of Shiganshina where he formed his world view that it’s necessary to become a devil to protect the people, and wesee the results of that development in season 4 with his extremist behaviors and actions. Both of these characters already had their arcs completed, but they still continued to have great moments.
It can be argued that due to AOT’s plot driven narrative there’s no opportunities for Historia to do anything where as Floch and Jean were still integral to the plot. Although this is true the plot can very easily be expanded to emphasize Historia and her character, and there’s no better opportunity for this than the Yeagerist uprising arc which despite being about the government and political climate of Paradis, but Historia is absent from this except for the creation of the pregnancy plot line despite her being a key police’s figure on Paradis. There’s certainly more room to expand upon this subject. Some would argue that it would ruin the pacing, but I’d say that these additions would be the complete opposite of that. The Marley arc and Yeagerists uprising are by far the shortest arcs of the series each being about 8 episodes. Including more flashbacks and more scenes in the present time would solve other issues with season 4 as well such as the poor world building while still giving room to expand upon Historias character without compromising the pacing. There’s no reason for Historia to be sidelined the way she was. And I’ve seen someone argue that this is a season 4 issue rather than a Historia specific one because several other characters were also put to the side, but the difference between Historia and characters such as Levi and Hange which makes this far worse for Historia in particular is that Historias previous character is ruined as well.
To understand how her character was ruined, we first have to understand Historia as a person before elaborating on how season 4 Historia goes against it. Historias character arc was learning to live a life for herself which she can be proud of. She became Queen for her own reasons not because the military wanted her to, and her primary motive is to help people and it always has been. At first this trait might seem exclusive to Krista, but the primary difference between Krista and Historia is that Historia does what she wants for herself regardless of everyone else whereas Krista seeks validation and approval from others. In this regard Historia is selfish since she does whatever she wants to, disregarding the desires of others, but her goal (which is to help people) is selfless. They’re both kind hearted by nature which is shown countless times during the uprising and prior even as far back as her childhood when she says that she wants to be like the similarly kind Frieda and Krista, and Frieda responds by telling her to be herself. Historias character arc accentuates this trait even further rather than reduce it since Historia’s willing to do what she believes is right regardless of the opinion of others which is best exemplified in the Reiss chapel.
It’s easy to interpret her defiance of Rod as selfish, but once you analyze these scenes it becomes apparent that her goal was to help humanity as well and not just herself. Before her badass worst girl in the world moment she asks Rod why didn’t the previous Founders stop the Titans which shows that she had the rest of humanity in mind. If she didn’t and was thinking entirely selfishly then she’d have no reason to ask this question whatsoever since it wouldn’t affect her. And it’s only after Rod states that the First Kings will possesses the inheritors does she decide to finally fight back against Rod because she realizes that he was only looking after himself. She insults humanity out of resentment towards Rod because he used the “good of humanity” to try to manipulate her into eating Eren. She was opposing her father and his wishes during this moment rather than humanity itself which is supported by her later actions which shows that she still had others in mind. Immediately after this she tells Eren that whenever she sees someone saying that no one needs them, she wants to rescue them, and tell them that it isn’t true which shows her benevolent nature. It’s reinforced in the next chapter (chapter 67) that she was trying to help humanity when she says the Reiss family losing the Founder was a good thing for humanity. This provides additional insight into her thoughts while inside the Reiss chapel. And finally in chapter 70 when Eren states that she became Queen to help people which is shown by her orphanage, and she then explains that she got carried away during her speech at the Reiss chapel.
Given all this, Historia would never support the rumbling OR the 50 year plan. They both go against her views and beliefs (which is why ANR Erehisu sucks as well). She even says herself that she’d never be able to forgive herself if she supported Eren, and yet she concedes to Eren anyways within moments. Historia would never be able to accept either option easily, but this moral dilemma is glossed over with little to no internal conflict. These options would be a last resort, but she never tries to find another solution, she never tries to stop Eren, if anything the exact opposite happens which is shown by her compliance with Eren in chapter 130. Historia would never be able to live with pride after supporting the Rumbling due to the weight of her actions, but she still has a ‘good’ ending with the farmer where she happily smiles with her daughter as if she didn’t directly and willingly assist in the largest atrocity in history despite her previously saying that she’d never be able to forgive herself if she did. Not only is this strange for Historias character, but it’s in extremely poor taste considering the severity of the rumbling especially considering how Eren whos far more unhinged than her is broken and inconsolable by the weight of his actions, but Historia who’s far more humane and less extreme isn’t.
The other major issue is the relationship with the Farmer which has several issues with it. It’s depicted as a forced relationship which she only got into out of political purposes, and some would say that this is intentionally misinterpreting the relationship in a way that portrays it poorly, but this is suggested by the narrative as well. She never shows any love or affection for the man whatsoever, and if anything shows the complete opposite. She frowns and is clearly unhappy in literally every scene she shares with him with the sole exception of when she’s with her daughter which is why so many people theorized that he was a red herring to begin with (Although it can be reasonably concluded that this can be because of the rumbling). Historia has no choice, but to get with someone due to her circumstances. Both the 50 year plan and allowing Eren to commit the rumbling requires her to have a child. Historia only had a child because she had to, otherwise she would have been forced to undertake the 50 year plan, but Historia having a child out of necessity rather than because she wants to is obviously out of character. (Why Isayama took agency from a character who’s arc was learning to have agency I’ll never know) Prior to these scenarios Historia shows no desire to have children or a relationship. The subject is never even brought up and instead replaced with a half assed shitty mystery which was the pregnancy plot line. The only thing indicating that Historia actually wanted to be with the farmer is that she approached him herself, but this can easily be explained as her not wanting to have political bondage to another noble who might have their own agenda, and timeline wise she seems to confront the farmer after her talk with Eren.
This can be fixed by expanding on their relationship and making the farmer an actual character which is entirely possible since Niccolo and Sasha was good despite Niccolo being a new character, and again there’s definitely more room for expanding on this during Season 4 Part 1, but even if you don’t want to give Historia considerably more screentime these issues can still easily be fixed. Just minor tweaks to how the relationship is depicted can fix these issues such as Historia already expressing a desire to be with the farmer BEFORE the 50 year plan is proposed so it seems like she got with him willingly and not due to circumstance or even something as simple as her showing affection for the man, or him consoling her about impending rumbling which would make it clear that Historias depression is caused by the rumbling as well as showing some level of trust and closeness between the two rather than complete indifference which is how the relationship is depicted in canon.
Tldr: why did I write this?
2024.05.14 19:20 Gurpa Considering trading 2 basses for one, does anyone have any experience with the Yamaha BB435?
I currently own both a Sterling Ray5 and a Squier 40th Anniversary P-bass. I prefer playing a 5 string, but I love the sound of the p-pickup, so I'm wondering if trading both basses in for a Yamaha bb435 would be worth my while, but I haven't had the opportunity to test-drive the Yamaha yet. Will I miss my active soapbar pickup on my sterling? Do the Yamaha BB basses play well/have good QC? Should I save up for the 735 instead for more options with active electronics?
I'm definitely partial to the fender-style headstock, so other yamaha basses at this pricepoint don't really speak to me much. Any info is greatly appreciated!
submitted by Gurpa to Bass [link] [comments]
I'm definitely partial to the fender-style headstock, so other yamaha basses at this pricepoint don't really speak to me much. Any info is greatly appreciated!
2024.05.14 19:20 nerdzen We've all seen the power rankings. But what are the vibe rankings?
Purely subjective, no set criteria. Just vibes.
submitted by nerdzen to NWSL [link] [comments]
- Thorns. Sophia Smith is on fire and they're moving up the rankings, that's got to feel damned good.
- Spirit. You've got Barca's coach coming and at least one -- probably more -- marquee international signings coming in at mid-season, and you're STILL in playoff contention even without them.
- Angel City. The love for Paige Nielsen so strong that you cheer an opponent's goal -- that's a vibe.
- Pride. You're tearing it up this year, and have one of the most fearsome attackers in the NWSL. And yet you're still seen as an underdog -- everybody loves a come from behind win.
- Current. You're leading the pack, but also everybody wants to knock you off. Mid vibes.
- Dash. What can I say, I love your kits.
- Courage. No notes.
- Racing - Tough team. I do like that about you.
- Reign - Very fall from grace.
- Red Stars. You're actually not doing that bad, but everybody thinks you are. Bad vibes.
- Gotham. Your injured bench makes me cry.
- Wave. Your injured bench also makes me cry.
- Bay - Rough. Everything is rough.
- Royals - You have Sentnor, at least.
2024.05.14 19:20 Puzzled-Piglet5872 Rngesus blessed me and decided this game was a berserker one
 | So basically, I got the stealth bracer, got the +2 leather armor (+3 with warrior item) and killed an animated armor who looted that +1 lucky Greatshield. submitted by Puzzled-Piglet5872 to ShatteredPD [link] [comments] Then on floor 6 I looted the stone mail armor (I don't remember if this one was from an ennemy or chest) and the dodging ring in a blue chest. Soo, it seems i am on for another berserker run |
2024.05.14 19:20 No-Singer4911 I (21f) have never been happier than in my current relationship...but I've never felt more insecure. My boyfriend's (25m) abusive ex (26f) has a lot of say in our relationship, and I want to feel confident in myself while I help him navigate some really heavy stuff. Advice on feeling more secure?
TW: Domestic violence, ideation, SA
These past couple months of my life have been transformation, but exhausting. I recently lost my grandfather to a terminal illness, the man who supported me in countless ways and really brought our family together when he first got sick. His death was crippling for the first couple weeks, but I have since been able to see that his suffering coming to an end is worth more than the rest of us having him still with us on earth. His passing put a lot of things in perspective, including my deep rooted unhappiness in my long term relationship and my unhealthy relationship with substances. Throughout this time, I lost a number of friends to the breakup, many of which led with the whole "bros before hoes" mentality, so much so that not a single one of them reach out when my grandfather did eventually die, and I had never felt so alone. In the mean time, I was able to grow very close with a group of coworkers my age, all in their twenties. On nights where all I wanted to do was get drunk and ignore my problems, they would drive me out to the dam and sit and listen to me sob about how I felt like I wasted the last couple months of my grandfather's life getting drunk with people who threw me away when I didn't want to party any more, all in the name of distracting myself from his inevitable death. They stepped up to the plate when I broke up with my ex and he lost his mind thinking I was a horrible person for not wanting him to come to my grandfather's funeral and just wanting to be alone instead of in a relationship where I was doing so much heavy lifting for little payout. I also had to come to terms with the fact that my ex and I only ever had sex when we were drunk because I really didn't enjoy it, but there was one time where he blacked out and didn't even remember us sleeping together. During that encounter, I had begged him to stop, but he couldn't hear me I guess, and he kept going until he finished and I just laid there and cried while he passed out next to me. I now know that was rape, but in the moment I felt like I did something wrong. That period of my life was so fucking hard, but I made it with the help of some awesome people and newfound sobriety.
Among the group of coworkers was Jack (25m). I will admit, I got butterflies the moment he walked into work that first time, but I never planned on acting on it; it was just a surprising thing that had never happened to me before. He and I started a friendship when he opened up about being new to the area, his desire to move up the ladder in the industry we both work in, and told me all about his dog who he loved so much. His girlfriend at the time, Alyssa (26f) had gotten a job here and they moved three hours north for her job, and he figured he might as well start working at a serious job in his dream industry. Our friendship grew when he commented to my good friend Tony (23m) and I about the growing resentment he had for the area and his girlfriend. Apparently, for years she had always been very dependent on him while still controlling most aspects of his life, but since they moved up here, she had stopped doing any house work, taking care of their dog, and demanding that he stay home to spend time with her instead of going out to meet new people in town (we work in a very social industry, and when he first started, we all got together and offered to take him out to see new things in town, meet other big people in the industry, etc, but didn't take it personally when he said no. However, this convo made it very clear that he wanted to go those four times we tried, but he was informed by Alyssa that he was a selfish bastard for wanting to go out without her and she felt like he hated her so much that he was trying to use work as an excuse to leave her alone. I can't make this up). He started crying about how he felt like a maid, like a doormat that she walked all over and how he wished he had never moved up here, how every time he tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself and he couldn't live with the thought of being responsible for her death. Tony let Jack know that none of that behavior was okay, and we as a group talked about what Jack really wanted to do with his life and what was holding him back. Shortly after, Jack broke up with Alyssa, who once again threatened to kill herself, got violent with him, and blamed him for throwing in the towel when she did nothing wrong. Tony gave Jack a room in apartment to stay in when it became clear that Alyssa would attack Jack anytime he was home, and he officially moved out within the week. Our coworkers all banded together to make sure he had furniture for his new room, bought him a dresser and a bed frame and we each took our cars over to his old place to move him out. It took a village, but he now has a safe apartment of his own with Tony and he has repeatedly thanked us all for letting him fall apart without judgement. A few months later, my grandfather passed and I was shown the same love by our little group. I have some amazing coworkers.
I was sitting next to Jack in the back of Tony's truck when I got the call my grandfather died. In that moment, it became clear that he really did care about me, and I am so grateful that he was there for me even when I swore I didn't need anyone. This all happened shortly after my breakup and newfound sobriety, so I was an absolute mess, but Jack didn't care. I opened up to him about my assault, my problem with drinking, and all the ugly parts of myself and he never once treated me like damaged goods. He and I fell apart and helped each other try to stitch together new lives at the expense of our old ones. I constantly am reminded by friends and family how much happier I am now, and I can give a lot of that credit to Jack and his patience and care. The same can be said for Jack, too. He and I hooked up one night months after I was single and felt slightly more in control of my emotions, and after doing that a couple more times, we started dating five months ago.
Now here comes the kicker. Jack has made some shitty choices in the past that I did not know about until we got together. Apparently, he had cheated on one of his exes at college, and when he and Alyssa first got together, he had been sleeping with two other girls who he cut things off with pretty suddenly when he got the chance to sleep with Alyssa, then they started dating a few weeks later. There are a number of girls that he kinda fucked over before the age of twenty, but he doesn't talk to any of them anymore and knows that he was in the wrong for all of them. Growth, I hope. I found out that he was still somewhat connected to one of them, and when I told him how worrisome that made me, he immediately apologized for not realizing earlier how that would make me uncomfortable and quickly (per his own volition) let her know that he did not want to continue talking because he felt it was clear she only really wanted to sleep with him and she had very little respect for his monogamous relationships. She flipped shit and he was glad that he was able to cut ties because apparently that wasn't the first time she tried to guilt trip him into staying in touch with her. But mostly, Alyssa has become a fairly constant fixture in our relationship. Because they had a dog together, Jack has to ask Alyssa when he can go over there to see the dog. She only does it on her terms, which is understandable, but she will constantly blame him for not taking care of the dog (Tony has two cats, and while Tony wants Jack to take the dog to their apartment, he doesn't think the cats would feel safe and they are already very skittish). She texts him biweekly saying that she found something of his, like a box of ties, a thing of utensils, etc, and demands he come get them and walk the dog asap. More than once, she has called him early in the morning asking him to come over because something is wrong with the dog, but most recently she called at 7 am saying "You need to get over here now, something is wrong with the dog. This shouldn't all be my problem and you should be the one taking care of this." He tries to get more info but she refused and said it shouldn't matter, he should just drop everything and take her to the vet and stop asking questions. He asked her to wait a few hours and if she still needed help he would come. Turns out, she clipped the dog's nail too short and the dog was bleeding a little, and that's what the phone call was for. But most alarming, Alyssa texted Jack repeatedly when we were on a lunch date saying that he needed to come take the dog because she was going to the mental hospital for suicidal ideation. Understandably so, we get the bill and Jack loses his mind in the car. He was terrified. She never did go, and when Jack reached out to her mom, she said Alyssa was fine and had no idea what he was talking about. She texts him randomly telling him he better come spend time with the dog because she's thinking of moving south again, three hours away, and will basically text him threatening stuff all the time all with the guise of him seeing the dog. I know this is all something I signed up for, but between the crazy shit with Alyssa and his cheating in the past, I don't know how I got myself involved in something so messy. Yes, he was being abused and now he is so grateful for the love I give him, but I still feel somewhat insecure based off how much say Alyssa has on his mood. He doesn't fold for anyone like he does for her, and while she or us will move out of state within the next year, I guess I mostly need to know what people recommend in terms of me feeling more secure in myself. This is a bug weight on my shoulders and while I do love him and am happy he his around, I need to prioritize myself above all else. Please help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (25m) and I (21f) have been through a lot. His ex girlfriend is very manipulative and I want to make sure I am taking care of myself to be the best version of myself after having a very transformative year (newfound sobriety, death of my grandfather, loss of many friends, and grief over a past relationship). I don't doubt that he loves me, I just want to look out for myself and make sure I am making healthy choices while we navigate a very heavy period of our lives together. Thanks in advance.
submitted by No-Singer4911 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
These past couple months of my life have been transformation, but exhausting. I recently lost my grandfather to a terminal illness, the man who supported me in countless ways and really brought our family together when he first got sick. His death was crippling for the first couple weeks, but I have since been able to see that his suffering coming to an end is worth more than the rest of us having him still with us on earth. His passing put a lot of things in perspective, including my deep rooted unhappiness in my long term relationship and my unhealthy relationship with substances. Throughout this time, I lost a number of friends to the breakup, many of which led with the whole "bros before hoes" mentality, so much so that not a single one of them reach out when my grandfather did eventually die, and I had never felt so alone. In the mean time, I was able to grow very close with a group of coworkers my age, all in their twenties. On nights where all I wanted to do was get drunk and ignore my problems, they would drive me out to the dam and sit and listen to me sob about how I felt like I wasted the last couple months of my grandfather's life getting drunk with people who threw me away when I didn't want to party any more, all in the name of distracting myself from his inevitable death. They stepped up to the plate when I broke up with my ex and he lost his mind thinking I was a horrible person for not wanting him to come to my grandfather's funeral and just wanting to be alone instead of in a relationship where I was doing so much heavy lifting for little payout. I also had to come to terms with the fact that my ex and I only ever had sex when we were drunk because I really didn't enjoy it, but there was one time where he blacked out and didn't even remember us sleeping together. During that encounter, I had begged him to stop, but he couldn't hear me I guess, and he kept going until he finished and I just laid there and cried while he passed out next to me. I now know that was rape, but in the moment I felt like I did something wrong. That period of my life was so fucking hard, but I made it with the help of some awesome people and newfound sobriety.
Among the group of coworkers was Jack (25m). I will admit, I got butterflies the moment he walked into work that first time, but I never planned on acting on it; it was just a surprising thing that had never happened to me before. He and I started a friendship when he opened up about being new to the area, his desire to move up the ladder in the industry we both work in, and told me all about his dog who he loved so much. His girlfriend at the time, Alyssa (26f) had gotten a job here and they moved three hours north for her job, and he figured he might as well start working at a serious job in his dream industry. Our friendship grew when he commented to my good friend Tony (23m) and I about the growing resentment he had for the area and his girlfriend. Apparently, for years she had always been very dependent on him while still controlling most aspects of his life, but since they moved up here, she had stopped doing any house work, taking care of their dog, and demanding that he stay home to spend time with her instead of going out to meet new people in town (we work in a very social industry, and when he first started, we all got together and offered to take him out to see new things in town, meet other big people in the industry, etc, but didn't take it personally when he said no. However, this convo made it very clear that he wanted to go those four times we tried, but he was informed by Alyssa that he was a selfish bastard for wanting to go out without her and she felt like he hated her so much that he was trying to use work as an excuse to leave her alone. I can't make this up). He started crying about how he felt like a maid, like a doormat that she walked all over and how he wished he had never moved up here, how every time he tried to break up with her she threatened to kill herself and he couldn't live with the thought of being responsible for her death. Tony let Jack know that none of that behavior was okay, and we as a group talked about what Jack really wanted to do with his life and what was holding him back. Shortly after, Jack broke up with Alyssa, who once again threatened to kill herself, got violent with him, and blamed him for throwing in the towel when she did nothing wrong. Tony gave Jack a room in apartment to stay in when it became clear that Alyssa would attack Jack anytime he was home, and he officially moved out within the week. Our coworkers all banded together to make sure he had furniture for his new room, bought him a dresser and a bed frame and we each took our cars over to his old place to move him out. It took a village, but he now has a safe apartment of his own with Tony and he has repeatedly thanked us all for letting him fall apart without judgement. A few months later, my grandfather passed and I was shown the same love by our little group. I have some amazing coworkers.
I was sitting next to Jack in the back of Tony's truck when I got the call my grandfather died. In that moment, it became clear that he really did care about me, and I am so grateful that he was there for me even when I swore I didn't need anyone. This all happened shortly after my breakup and newfound sobriety, so I was an absolute mess, but Jack didn't care. I opened up to him about my assault, my problem with drinking, and all the ugly parts of myself and he never once treated me like damaged goods. He and I fell apart and helped each other try to stitch together new lives at the expense of our old ones. I constantly am reminded by friends and family how much happier I am now, and I can give a lot of that credit to Jack and his patience and care. The same can be said for Jack, too. He and I hooked up one night months after I was single and felt slightly more in control of my emotions, and after doing that a couple more times, we started dating five months ago.
Now here comes the kicker. Jack has made some shitty choices in the past that I did not know about until we got together. Apparently, he had cheated on one of his exes at college, and when he and Alyssa first got together, he had been sleeping with two other girls who he cut things off with pretty suddenly when he got the chance to sleep with Alyssa, then they started dating a few weeks later. There are a number of girls that he kinda fucked over before the age of twenty, but he doesn't talk to any of them anymore and knows that he was in the wrong for all of them. Growth, I hope. I found out that he was still somewhat connected to one of them, and when I told him how worrisome that made me, he immediately apologized for not realizing earlier how that would make me uncomfortable and quickly (per his own volition) let her know that he did not want to continue talking because he felt it was clear she only really wanted to sleep with him and she had very little respect for his monogamous relationships. She flipped shit and he was glad that he was able to cut ties because apparently that wasn't the first time she tried to guilt trip him into staying in touch with her. But mostly, Alyssa has become a fairly constant fixture in our relationship. Because they had a dog together, Jack has to ask Alyssa when he can go over there to see the dog. She only does it on her terms, which is understandable, but she will constantly blame him for not taking care of the dog (Tony has two cats, and while Tony wants Jack to take the dog to their apartment, he doesn't think the cats would feel safe and they are already very skittish). She texts him biweekly saying that she found something of his, like a box of ties, a thing of utensils, etc, and demands he come get them and walk the dog asap. More than once, she has called him early in the morning asking him to come over because something is wrong with the dog, but most recently she called at 7 am saying "You need to get over here now, something is wrong with the dog. This shouldn't all be my problem and you should be the one taking care of this." He tries to get more info but she refused and said it shouldn't matter, he should just drop everything and take her to the vet and stop asking questions. He asked her to wait a few hours and if she still needed help he would come. Turns out, she clipped the dog's nail too short and the dog was bleeding a little, and that's what the phone call was for. But most alarming, Alyssa texted Jack repeatedly when we were on a lunch date saying that he needed to come take the dog because she was going to the mental hospital for suicidal ideation. Understandably so, we get the bill and Jack loses his mind in the car. He was terrified. She never did go, and when Jack reached out to her mom, she said Alyssa was fine and had no idea what he was talking about. She texts him randomly telling him he better come spend time with the dog because she's thinking of moving south again, three hours away, and will basically text him threatening stuff all the time all with the guise of him seeing the dog. I know this is all something I signed up for, but between the crazy shit with Alyssa and his cheating in the past, I don't know how I got myself involved in something so messy. Yes, he was being abused and now he is so grateful for the love I give him, but I still feel somewhat insecure based off how much say Alyssa has on his mood. He doesn't fold for anyone like he does for her, and while she or us will move out of state within the next year, I guess I mostly need to know what people recommend in terms of me feeling more secure in myself. This is a bug weight on my shoulders and while I do love him and am happy he his around, I need to prioritize myself above all else. Please help.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (25m) and I (21f) have been through a lot. His ex girlfriend is very manipulative and I want to make sure I am taking care of myself to be the best version of myself after having a very transformative year (newfound sobriety, death of my grandfather, loss of many friends, and grief over a past relationship). I don't doubt that he loves me, I just want to look out for myself and make sure I am making healthy choices while we navigate a very heavy period of our lives together. Thanks in advance.
2024.05.14 19:19 Dubmoney3355 Shout out to the Pacers front office
Next year Paul George, Domantas Sabonis, and Tyrese Haliburton will make a combined 126.1 million. Over the 14 year stretch when they played for Indiana, the Pacers payed them a combined 104.1 million or roughly 7.4 million a year.
Paul George was the 10th overall pick in 2010 and until 2022 the Pacers never had another pick inside the top 10. When Paul announced he wouldn’t resign with the Pacers, most of us assumed the Pacers would have to let him walk for free, or trade him for a used washing machine or something equivalent in value. But the Pacers traded him for Sabonis(and Oladipo) and basically the moment they payed Sabonis they traded him for Haliburton.
Each trade the Pacers made ended up in roughly the same production for a fraction of the cost. In their Pacer careers Paul averaged 18pts/6reb, Domantas averaged 16pts/11reb, and Tyrese has averaged 20pts/11 ast. In Pauls last year with the Pacers he made 18.3 million while Domas made 2.6 million the next year. In his final year Domas made 19.8 million and the next year Hali made 3.8 million. These are the type of moves you have to make to stay relevant as a small market team that never fully bottoms out and will never be able to sign top tier FAs unless they drastically overpay. They took one mid first round pick and turned it into 4 all stars with 10 all star appearances for the Pacers(4 for PG and 2 each for Domas, Oladipo, and Hali).
submitted by Dubmoney3355 to pacers [link] [comments]
Paul George was the 10th overall pick in 2010 and until 2022 the Pacers never had another pick inside the top 10. When Paul announced he wouldn’t resign with the Pacers, most of us assumed the Pacers would have to let him walk for free, or trade him for a used washing machine or something equivalent in value. But the Pacers traded him for Sabonis(and Oladipo) and basically the moment they payed Sabonis they traded him for Haliburton.
Each trade the Pacers made ended up in roughly the same production for a fraction of the cost. In their Pacer careers Paul averaged 18pts/6reb, Domantas averaged 16pts/11reb, and Tyrese has averaged 20pts/11 ast. In Pauls last year with the Pacers he made 18.3 million while Domas made 2.6 million the next year. In his final year Domas made 19.8 million and the next year Hali made 3.8 million. These are the type of moves you have to make to stay relevant as a small market team that never fully bottoms out and will never be able to sign top tier FAs unless they drastically overpay. They took one mid first round pick and turned it into 4 all stars with 10 all star appearances for the Pacers(4 for PG and 2 each for Domas, Oladipo, and Hali).
2024.05.14 19:19 Mysterious_Put_1211 AITAH for doubting my future with my bf?
I (F28) is dating M(30) for 12 years. He is very nice, love and care about everything, have a stable job and is in process of owning a home. The problem is everytime we argue for any reason, and if I ever suggests we should take a break ( not breakup) or if things gets to heated and say we shouldn't be together. He always comes with one line " Who is the another guy you are dating?" And the topic of argument is lost and forgotten and it ends up with this, which make me sound so disloyal and I HATE it! I am anything but disloyal to him. We are planning to get engaged and married in a year. But I am having doubt if we get married and have such arguments and he again repeats himself. He has no reason to doubt me whatsoever. I don't go out. I haven't met with my girl friends for like a year. Haven't been in contact with any of my school boy- friends as he hated that I talk to them. Same reason I don't have any contact with my college friends or any male except my family and relatives. I have to hide if I am going out with my cousins even for couple of hours, if not, he will say I don't care and want to leave him, have someone else. You get gist. I don't even have profile pic on WhatsApp ( taunts if I do). It's too much. Even though these are not everyday problem. I want to know whether AITAH for questioning about getting married to him? Extra info- he is/ was my 1st bf P.s- English is my 3rd language.
submitted by Mysterious_Put_1211 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 19:19 bakler5 Is Level 100 Worth it?
I have been casually playing PoE since the beta days, but have never really spent much time in the end game (highest lvl was 93 prior to this league), as I typically just get bored of running maps without some sort of objective/goal to reach. This league I decided to set 2 personal goals to try and keep myself interested: Reach lvl 100, kill all end game bosses (probably not Ubers though). I decided to do this with the only character I created, which is a Lightning Arrow Deadeye. I mostly followed the league starter guide from poe-vault, and then once that wasn't really viable anymore, I read or watched a bunch of different guides on 'end-game' LA builds and then tweaked my tree and gear to be some sort of combination of what I found, while staying within the budget I had (I can't afford the multi-mirror build that fubgun is running). Current Build
The problem I am running into now is that, while I can pretty easily clear most content (have even cleared a few random T17s that dropped), being mostly a glass cannon, whenever I die it sets me back a ways, and it feels like it's taking forever to get to 100. So my question is, is it really worth it, in terms of build/character strength, to get to level 100? My plan for the final 3 points on the tree is to take the Mark the Prey node, to help with bosses. Obviously I know I can just move onto the bosses I want to beat whenever I want, but I have been mostly avoiding the hardest ones because I know I will die multiple times, losing hours of XP gained.
submitted by bakler5 to pathofexile [link] [comments]
The problem I am running into now is that, while I can pretty easily clear most content (have even cleared a few random T17s that dropped), being mostly a glass cannon, whenever I die it sets me back a ways, and it feels like it's taking forever to get to 100. So my question is, is it really worth it, in terms of build/character strength, to get to level 100? My plan for the final 3 points on the tree is to take the Mark the Prey node, to help with bosses. Obviously I know I can just move onto the bosses I want to beat whenever I want, but I have been mostly avoiding the hardest ones because I know I will die multiple times, losing hours of XP gained.
2024.05.14 19:19 bambambigelowww Spouse doesn’t have health insurance - how to avoid penalty
We live in NJ. My spouse lost her job last year and opened an S Corp in January and has been without health insurance. She’s the only employee of the S Corp. I guess it’s too late for her to join my plan. For some silly reason, it’s mandated in NJ to have health insurance but at the same time she isn’t allowed to join my plan or get an ACA plan because there’s no qualified life event. So I’ll repeat that: she’s mandated to have it but not allowed to have it. This is crazy to me. But ok. Is there any way to avoid the penalty ? We make a lot of money combined so I think the penalty would be around $7k and that’s without any coverage. Having coverage would be cheaper lol. Of course , knock on wood, hopefully she won’t need to use the coverage until she can join my insurance on Jan 1st. She’s healthy so no doctor appointments needed unless there’s a true emergency. If she could join my benefits that would be amazing. But as a worst case scenario , if she doesn’t have benefits until Jan 1, is there any way to avoid the 7k penalty that NJ would charge ? One exemption says if you have a utility shut off notice you’re exempt. If we don’t pay the electric bill for 2 months, get a letter in the mail, and then pay it , would that work? Another exemption I saw was religious. Anywhere there to prove ? This was obviously a lie and terrible mistake and we will get her on my insurance as soon as allowed , I just want to atleast avoid the penalty , which again to me is really silly. Especially with how high our taxes are regardless.
submitted by bambambigelowww to personalfinance [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 19:19 TalionDCU APB: Second Half Progress?
 | Last week I was talking about how Troy Lesesne was trying to find a way to keep the team from wilting in the second halves of games. I worried it might not be possible with the somewhat messed-up roster, but it feels like some progress has been made. submitted by TalionDCU to DCUnited [link] [comments] In this game, instead of waiting patiently for DC United to wilt, Pineda subbed off a winger (Edwin Mosquera) at halftime and subbed on Dax McCarty to reinforce a midfield battle that Klich and Hopkins had been winning in the first half. I didn’t check to see if this happened at the half, but certainly after the third goal, Lesesne pulled the team back into a low block and defended in a 5-4-1 instead of a 5-3-2, leaving Benteke as a lone high outlet. This slowed down DC’s offense but successfully denied Atlanta much in the way of chances. Lesesne put Pirani on for Stroud in the 73rd minute, both for fresh legs and perhaps because Pirani is—at least theoretically—better than Stroud at holding on to the ball while outnumbered and finding a pass under pressure. This didn’t pay off with a goal, but he did help generate a few shots, which lately have been few and far between after halftime. I wanted to see if I could validate my fuzzy sense of improvement with some objective stats. We’re twelve games into the season, so maybe we can see some trends. Note that I normally use FBref, but for this I’m using Fotmob stats because they let me filter by half. The first question is do the stats even confirm the eye test that this is a real issue? Answer: yes. Kind of. DC’s overall goal difference:
What about the trend? I tried looking at trends by looking at stats like xG and big chances based on the percentage DC had in the second half, but those charts https://preview.redd.it/k8l2v4fsdf0d1.png?width=721&format=png&auto=webp&s=1726fcb05e73a7eaca197cc71be0fd07b1f2790d Overall, you’ve got to like that trend over the past four games! Although it looks more dramatic because of how terrible that NYCFC game was. Also, it’s worth noting that the Orlando City game involved a brutal collapse on the scoresheet but doesn’t look so bad in xG terms. Here’s the same thing broken out so you can see our xG and xG allowed in the second halves of each game: https://preview.redd.it/pb1wpywudf0d1.png?width=712&format=png&auto=webp&s=5cb4851458a2d1401193ebf9290658394902d412 My big takeaway is that we should try not to get crushed like in the Inter Miami and NYCFC games. Instead, we should do the crushing, like we did against New England and Portland. How’s that for hard-hitting analysis? Finally, let’s look at DC’s xG difference in each half: https://preview.redd.it/k8z6c38xdf0d1.png?width=716&format=png&auto=webp&s=18f9ef4f6f41cfd5203dfec6865d6565df201af6 From this, you can see there’s been several games with clear meltdowns: St. Louis City, CF Montreal, and Seattle. And a few where DC was a bit worse: New England, Cincinnati, NYCFC, and Philadelphia. Portland was the one really big turnaround, but Columbus and Atlanta were both improvements. As always with soccer stats, this is mostly a matter of entertainment and not scientific truth, but I’ll keep an eye on things as we go forward. See my full game writeup for more from the Atlanta game, including player ratings, Ted Ku-Dipietro leading all MLS players in a silly stat, and more. |
2024.05.14 19:19 Beautiful_Energy_245 Can a single 10kg kettlebell build any muscle?
M32)
6ft tall ectomoprh
I have stick arms and bones for shoulders to the point I can’t ever wear a shirt
I have literally little muscle and a small frame with a pudgy belly
I have a single 10kg dumbbell (it’s a small ball one with a handle above it) and I stand up straight and lift it up and down in the centre with both hand and lift it up x15 3 times every morning
I think it’s called front raises
Well I do 50 in total in intervals sometimes more to 100
I get left side of ribs ache hours after doing it
How often do I do it?
I do a struggle and ‘mmpphhh’ Noise so it’s heavy enough?
Have 2 6kgs too and did some farmers walks holding them
Is that not going to build any muscle?
submitted by Beautiful_Energy_245 to Advice [link] [comments]
6ft tall ectomoprh
I have stick arms and bones for shoulders to the point I can’t ever wear a shirt
I have literally little muscle and a small frame with a pudgy belly
I have a single 10kg dumbbell (it’s a small ball one with a handle above it) and I stand up straight and lift it up and down in the centre with both hand and lift it up x15 3 times every morning
I think it’s called front raises
Well I do 50 in total in intervals sometimes more to 100
I get left side of ribs ache hours after doing it
How often do I do it?
I do a struggle and ‘mmpphhh’ Noise so it’s heavy enough?
Have 2 6kgs too and did some farmers walks holding them
Is that not going to build any muscle?
2024.05.14 19:19 ramennoodles35 When is five star gold trading ?
 | When will five star gold trading start I’ve literally only needed 2 more five stars to complete my set for the past 4 weeks . Literally only have 5 star gold dupes and one that I need is a five star gold ironically . submitted by ramennoodles35 to Monopoly_GO [link] [comments] |
2024.05.14 19:19 schmostin Advice in Orange County CA?
Hi all!
I live in Huntington Beach and have ridden dirt bikes/street bikes and surfed my whole life.
Surfing is my main passion, but snowboard, wakeboard, skate, etc are also hobbies... but over the past few years I've really been having the itch to standup jetski. A few questions:
Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!
submitted by schmostin to jetski [link] [comments]
I live in Huntington Beach and have ridden dirt bikes/street bikes and surfed my whole life.
Surfing is my main passion, but snowboard, wakeboard, skate, etc are also hobbies... but over the past few years I've really been having the itch to standup jetski. A few questions:
- Any suggestions on jetskis? The new Super Jet looks pretty niiiice. (I'm 40yrs - 6'2 - 175 lbs - pretty active/fit)
- Where is the nearest place to launch from?
- Where is the nearest place to ride that will give me waves access? (Eventually I'll want to jump/surf)
- Are there any amateur races in the SoCal area still going on? Googling it looks like some may have ended with COVID.
- Any other general watch outs or thoughts on logistics, up keep/maintenance, licenses/registration etc? (I know that's kinda vague)
Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!
2024.05.14 19:19 penelope15- not wanting more kids because of in-laws (MIL)
Hi! I won’t get into all the details but it’s enough to have me still in therapy 9 months postpartum. Some of the major things are MIL lying about having COVID because she was “denied her hospital experience”; causing LO to be admitted to the hospital for weeks and has breathing problems 8 months later. She also demanded to take LO out of the country to “show her off to her friends” (at 3 months old) and said I was evil and not allowing her to be a grandma when I said no. My AIL threatened to induce me 3 weeks early because “the family” wanted “the family baby” to have a specific due date. My GMIL threatening grandparents rights (she’s not even my child’s direct grandparent) and calling me “it” or “that girl” my entire pregnancy. as well as seeing me as an incubator for “the community baby”. All these people hate me for “stealing DH” from them and genuinely expected me to just hand my newborn over because they are “family”.
ANYWAYS… DH cut off basically his whole family for how disgustingly they have treated me and LO (they see her as a facebook prop and something to get their “fix” in). MIL met LO once and no one else has. We have been NC for about 7 months. Although he has never texted back; they do occasionally beg for pictures of LO to post because that’s all they care about (DH hasn’t blocked them). Their facebook ego is all that matters to them. It’s hard to play grandma of the year when the only pictures you have are of a 2 week old.
While I’m proud of DH for standing strong in his NC; it is a little odd to me that he hasn’t just blocked them. Especially since they still continue to send manipulative messages (demanding pictures, for us to travel to them, etc). We live across the country from my in-laws so that helps a lot. DH does still talk to FIL which I have no issue with as he’s never been hateful. Unfortunately he does sometimes push for us to just get over things because “that’s family”. He doesn’t understand NC and thinks it’s a phase. He will occasionally ask DH if he has talked to his mom, grandma,etc. He knows the answer because we are literally NC. I feel with enough pushing and time passed that DH will give in just to make FIL happy.
DH really wants another child when our current baby is 3ish. I do also but refuse to go though the hell of pregnancy and postpartum his family put me though. He’s given me no reason to doubt him and said they will never be involved in our lives; new baby or not. I guess I’m just terrified. LOs birthday is coming up in 2 months and that will be the big test.
Do I let them “win” by not having another baby? Or do I risk being “stuck”? Having 2 kids would be so much harder to manage/protect if DH ever wanted to regain contact with them. (ex. holding one child while everyone harasses the other)
submitted by penelope15- to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]
ANYWAYS… DH cut off basically his whole family for how disgustingly they have treated me and LO (they see her as a facebook prop and something to get their “fix” in). MIL met LO once and no one else has. We have been NC for about 7 months. Although he has never texted back; they do occasionally beg for pictures of LO to post because that’s all they care about (DH hasn’t blocked them). Their facebook ego is all that matters to them. It’s hard to play grandma of the year when the only pictures you have are of a 2 week old.
While I’m proud of DH for standing strong in his NC; it is a little odd to me that he hasn’t just blocked them. Especially since they still continue to send manipulative messages (demanding pictures, for us to travel to them, etc). We live across the country from my in-laws so that helps a lot. DH does still talk to FIL which I have no issue with as he’s never been hateful. Unfortunately he does sometimes push for us to just get over things because “that’s family”. He doesn’t understand NC and thinks it’s a phase. He will occasionally ask DH if he has talked to his mom, grandma,etc. He knows the answer because we are literally NC. I feel with enough pushing and time passed that DH will give in just to make FIL happy.
DH really wants another child when our current baby is 3ish. I do also but refuse to go though the hell of pregnancy and postpartum his family put me though. He’s given me no reason to doubt him and said they will never be involved in our lives; new baby or not. I guess I’m just terrified. LOs birthday is coming up in 2 months and that will be the big test.
Do I let them “win” by not having another baby? Or do I risk being “stuck”? Having 2 kids would be so much harder to manage/protect if DH ever wanted to regain contact with them. (ex. holding one child while everyone harasses the other)
2024.05.14 19:19 srilzz dont feel a sense of belonging when im with my friends - repost
whenever im with my "bestfriends" i feel alone and awkward. idk if they do it on purpose but im js trying to run behind them and even when they do things its always the three of them together, maybe its my own fault and its bc i leave myself out. or maybe its because im indian and they're all south east asian and pretty. (my school is very racist and i genuinely hate everyone andcant wait to leave) idk i js always feel left out and i never know anything happening in the grp but when i do and we're genuinely a group and not a trio and one person it feels fun. sometimes other ppl come and they can be friends with my other three friends and talk to the others but not me. but maybe its cuz im the problem idk they tell me im valuable and such a good friend and their best friend or wtvr but i dont see it bc by themselves theyre genuinely good ppl. and our hangouts and stuff is fun but like in school i just feel left out and they always do extra curriculurs together, and theyre the power trio or wtvr. because everyone knows them as a trio but not with me as a group, even thought mostly when we go out its together as a four. like we stopped being friends with this girl in our group bc of what she did (its a long story) but then we felt bad and became her friends again, but those few days we weren't her friends is the few days i felt like i genuinely had friends in school. i think its her pulling them away and the others js dont realise that im left alone. i rlly wanna drop her, but the few days that we dropped her she was being so attention seeking, victimising and making us feel bad. plus we've been her friend for 7+ years and the way she messaged me when we were "arguing" just made me feel bad for her, and shes yk pretty and smart and southeastasian (which is what everyone in my school is obsessed w) and we js had to be her friend again (even tho she saw me as the last option to talk to, told me nothing, and i still comforted her even when she thought i knew nothing). and even now we're still trying to be her friend even tho she went to this other girl who took advantage of the situation (but that's a whole another story)
submitted by srilzz to Vent [link] [comments]